#No one is happy about this and the state of their soul
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signanothername · 2 days ago
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Could we have some soft/comfort headcannons about anyone of your choosing? It's election night and I really would like something soft for my brain to chew on instead of worry all night
Absolutely!
Imma give you a bunch of different little guys <333
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Killer:
-his cats help him a lot with sleep problems, they make him calm enough to the point of actually closing his eyes whenever he’s with them (reminder that he usually sleeps with one eye open xhxbbx)
-after he’s saved, he gradually becomes better at eating, he still avoids food that reminds him of the past but becomes more accepting of other types of food, eventually getting his bone mass and weight back, going from lanky to chubby <3333
-he eventually accepts the state of his soul and instead of trying to fix it, he tries to understand it, understand himself, he becomes a lot more gentle with his own self
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Color:
-he has albums upon albums full of pictures he took over the years, filled with places he visited, pictures of people he loves and moments he cherishes
-he’s very connected with so many people, and a lot of people find him to be a great confidant, he does a lot to help people where he can, he eventually gets the good he gave back with people taking care of him
-he’s in a queer platonic relationship with Delta and Epic
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Nightmare:
-he has piles upon piles of gifts Dream gave him for their birthday over the years, he never got rid of any of them, these gifts are something he cherishes dearly
-he’s the one to introduce Killer to Ccino’s cafe, he actually did that with no ill intentions, and Nightmare himself is not really sure why he went out of his way to introduce Killer to the cafe
-he and Dream sometimes sit beside their mother in silence, just taking everything in, taking each other presence in, not talking or interacting, Nightmare feels peaceful during these moments, it’s the closest thing to the same feelings he had as a happy child
———
Dream:
-even though he has a fallout with Ink, he eventually remedies his relationship with them, they become best friends again
-whenever life gets too much, he goes to Swap’s house and stays with the swap bros, it helps immensely
-Dream never expects to receive anything on his birthday, that expectation is broken when he receives a gift from Nightmare, he never got another gift afterwards, it’s only that one gift, but it’s the entire world to him
———
Error:
-he thinks of Ink as his bestest friend in the world, he’d never admit that out loud tho dhdhhdhdh (they’re frenemies)
-he loves geno and Fresh dearly, they’re his proclaimed siblings, he’s more open about his love with them
-he actually takes commissions by making dolls for people who want them in exchange for chocolate as payment (his chocolate stock never runs out zgxggx)
———
Horror:
-He eventually finds a better relationship with food
-he succeeds at escaping from Nightmare and managing to keep his AU (and most importantly his brother) safe in the process
-he finds himself becoming best friends with Farm
———
Ink:
-his art is something others never see, but surprisingly, if you had the chance to see it, then you’d find it’s art the people they love most
-their fallout with Dream actually hurt him, so when he and Dream got back to being besties, they felt very happy about it
-he loves spending time with Color, Epic and Delta cause of their constant traveling habits, they’re very entertaining to be around
-while they spend most his time in the doodlesphere, the second place you’ll most likely see them in is with their parents in the omega timeline, he loves them with all his heart
———
These are the ones I can think of off the top of my head hdhdhdhdh hope they’re enough to rotate in your brain all day <333333
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jaal-ama-daravv · 2 days ago
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alright, I am dissecting the Emmrich graveyard scene below for how down bad they are for eachother
pls note I have attached screen caps
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find my other post here
we begin -
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"I would hate to lose you whilst I am still mortal"
this line is directly after Rook questioning all the flirting and what that means for them should he become a lich. which Emmrich responds witht he above. this is a tough one for me to break down as either way Emmrich retains his soul, emotions, and thoughts if he becomes a lich. I believe this line is tied to the fact of being afraid Rook will not want him anymore once he explains his desire to be a lich, as alluded to throughout the rest of the scene.
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this one is kind of self explanatory. Emmrich states that nothing will change if he becomes a lich, apart form the no death thing, but would still consider Rook in the decision.
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then we are met with a sigh - this is a sigh of desperation. 'how do i choose my words so carefully that Rook see's my desire and doesn't shun me for it' - hence Emmrich goes on to explain what being a lich would mean in hopes rook will still desire him. (this becomes a big factor throughout the rest of the lich romance - desire)
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'considerations'
as above, and again now with considering rook. now the first conversation cuts out after this. it is my belief that these considerations are considering Rook and their perspective, whilst also including the fact that it is later revealed that Emmrich might die during the rite, therefore losing Rook whilst still mortal. I believe this line is both a statement of care for Rook, and his fear od death.
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throughout the quest, Rook asks Emmrich a bunch of questions, more so just filler content so Rook can understand lichdom and the process.
then Emmrich shows you something that is probably the closest thing to his heart before Rook. his parents graves. keep in mind that Emmrich had these made, and he engraved 'they walk eternity hand in hand'. Then the next shot is Rook and Emmrich walking side by side to the shrine.
walking eternity hand in hand is also mentioned in the lich romance scene,"find you in another world" aka the fade. this man has believed in soulmates for decades.
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subtle conversation tactic of, 'what would you want me to be, rook'. here you either say happy with someone who cares about him, or break up with him (i do nOT reccommend).
simple to the point, emmrich is looking for subtle validation here for rooks feelings
and the fact that there is only one correct option is wild too.
If you choose, "Whatever you want", you reply by saying Happy. which very close to the romance committment line of "Happy with someone who cares for you."
Emmrich is looking for that connection so so badly, hence why only one option
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Emmrich's gaze towards Rook as he asks them what shes wants, and baring his soul to her.
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after committing - Emmrich does not look away from rook once.
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rook is fucked. rook is head over heels in love and smitten with this man. keep in mind that throughout the rest of the game, there are conversations with companions where Emmrich will straight up shut them down when pressed about them 'moving too fast' or 'do you know what you are doing'. Emmrich is very clearly defensive about these things, which is so hot.
in my playthrough, they are necromancers, well aware of how short life is, especially facing the apocolypse. ofc they are going all in.
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this man is gonna go home and jump up and down on his bed
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do i need to explain this? the shrine of passion and devotion, the ETERNAL SHRINE.
anyway im really, really down bad for this dynamic and them. im also in love with my rook so that doesnt help.
ill most likely do a break down of each scene
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fratttymatty · 2 days ago
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Greeked
(All characters are 18+)
Matty never thought college would be this much of a shock. Sure, he was excited for the experience, but he wasn’t really prepared for how much things would change—and how fast.
He was 18 now, heading into his freshman year with a sense of nervous optimism. Matty had spent the last year of high school pining after his crush, Kayla—now, Kayla was his girlfriend, and for the first time in his life, he felt like he wasn’t invisible. He was excited for college, but one thing was certain: no matter how crazy college life might get, he was happy to be with Kayla—er, Cassie, now.
That was the first thing that had changed.
They had arrived at college together, a little overwhelmed but ready to face the unknown. Cassie, though—she had already changed. Matty was still trying to make sense of it.
“I’m telling you, Matty,” Cassie said one afternoon, walking hand in hand across the campus. “I so need to join a sorority. I’m like, totally vibing with the idea of Delta Theta Phi. They have, like, the best parties and stuff.”
Matty smiled, squeezing her hand. He’d known Cassie—Kayla—since high school. She’d always been fun and confident, but not quite like this. There was something a little… more bubbly about her now. More... valley girl.
“I don’t know,” Matty said, shaking his head. “You weren’t really into that stuff in high school, though. Is this, like… really you?”
Cassie stopped, looking at him with a confused expression. “What do you mean, babe? Of course it’s me. I just… I don’t know, I feel like college is all about being your best self, you know? I’ve been thinking about, like, how much fun it would be to totally fit in. I just know I’d be amazing at it!”
Matty blinked. “Uh… okay, if you say so. But you don’t need to change, Cassie. I love you just the way you are.”
She smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “I know, babe. But this is just, like, the next level. You’ll see.”
They kept walking, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of Matty’s mind. Cassie? She was still the girl he loved, right? Then why did she feel… different? She wasn’t the quiet, introspective girl he knew. This new version of her was louder, bouncier, more caught up in appearances and parties.
Then it happened. The air around them shifted, and a strange swirl of energy seemed to surround them. Matty didn’t know what to make of it—he couldn’t see anything, but he felt it deep inside, like the world had just tilted slightly. Then, a voice that wasn’t quite there but somehow echoed in both their heads spoke:
“You’ve been chosen. The power of college life will transform you. No turning back. Embrace your new path.”
The wind rushed through the campus in an eerie hush, and for a moment, everything stood still. Matty glanced at Cassie. Her wide-eyed look mirrored his own confusion, but the magic was already working its way into their souls.
The Next Day
When Matty woke up the next morning, everything felt… off. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw the changes before he even registered them. His body was leaner, more muscular. His posture had shifted—he now stood tall and wide-shouldered, his physique looking like he'd spent months in the gym (which he hadn’t).
But the most noticeable change? His hair.
Matty had always been self-conscious about his hair. It was unruly—curly and thick, and no matter how hard he tried, it always seemed to fall into a messy, unpredictable state. He’d never been able to tame it the way the popular guys did. His hair was more of a hassle than a feature he could flaunt.
But now? As he stood in front of the mirror, Matty ran a hand through his hair—and stopped dead in his tracks.
It was perfect.
Matty blinked, rubbing his eyes in disbelief. His hair had changed, almost overnight.
Where it had once been a tangled mess of light brown curls, it now fell in perfectly tousled waves that seemed to defy gravity. His once wild curls were gone, replaced by a smooth, more controlled texture that still had some natural volume, but now it was effortlessly styled in a way that looked like he’d just walked out of a barber’s chair after a professional cut. It wasn’t too neat, but it wasn’t messy either. It looked intentional. Like he’d woken up with this style and hadn’t even needed to run a comb through it.
His hair was now darker, too. Instead of the lighter brown he’d been born with, it was now a rich, deep dark brown. It was almost close to black in some lights, but it still held a slight undertone of warmth. The colour gave him a more mature, striking appearance—one that was instantly more eye-catching than the old, plain, lighter brown he used to have. The transformation wasn’t just in the texture; it was in the depth of the colour itself.
The change was so profound that Matty didn’t even know how to process it at first. He reached up to run his fingers through his new hair again. It felt thicker, softer somehow, with the faintest scent of something like gel or pomade, as if it had been styled professionally while he slept. It gave him the type of effortless, “I woke up like this” look that guys on Instagram or in magazines seemed to always pull off.
The more he ran his fingers through it, the more he noticed that the strands of hair fell naturally into place. It was no longer an unmanageable mop—it was sleek, smooth, and just the right amount of tousled. His hair now seemed to fit his transformation into this new version of himself—Matt, the frat guy, the confident guy who got noticed.
Before, his hair had always been a problem. He’d try to comb it into place in the mornings, but it would quickly fall back into its usual, messy shape. It was always too long in some spots and too short in others. He’d hated how it would sometimes fall in his face or puff up in ways that made him feel awkward.
Now, it was different. His hair had a natural flow to it. The kind of look that made him look effortlessly cool. The messy wave that fell just above his eyebrows gave him a brooding, “bad boy” charm. It made him look more confident—more put together—and it fit his new persona perfectly.
Matty grabbed his phone to check his reflection in the front-facing camera. He gave himself a once-over, taking in his broader shoulders, his new body, and the sharp jawline that had appeared seemingly overnight. But it was his hair that caught his attention again.
“Damn,” he muttered under his breath. ��This is… way different.”
He ran his hand through it one more time, letting the waves fall back into place with minimal effort, and then he smiled. It felt right. His hair was a big part of the new Matt he was becoming—someone who didn’t have to work hard to look good. It was almost as if the universe had decided that everything about him needed to be sharper, more polished, more… frat.
His reflection stared back at him. Matt, with the perfect dark brown hair. Matt, with the confident, almost cocky smile that now played at the corners of his lips. The guy in the mirror was a stranger, yet familiar, someone who was meant for this life.
And as he admired his new look, he couldn't help but wonder just how deep this transformation would go. His hair was only the beginning, after all.
“Dude,” he muttered, staring at the reflection. "What the hell?”
And then it hit him—Matt. His reflection had changed. His whole demeanour was different. His voice felt deeper, and when he spoke, it sounded… natural. Like someone had flicked a switch, and now he was the ultimate frat boy without even trying. He flexed his arm in front of the mirror, still not fully understanding what was going on.
But something else was different, too. He looked at the clothes in his wardrobe—a brand-new set of tight, fitted T-shirts and well-worn jeans that made him look like he belonged in a college party. Gone was the awkward Matty, the kid who played it safe. In his place stood someone who could walk into a room and own it. Matt was the guy everyone wanted to be. He felt confident. Cocky, even.
He texted Cassie, hoping she was okay with all of this.
“Hey, you good? Something weird happened last night…”
Her reply came seconds later.
“Oh my god, babe! I feel amazing! You won’t believe it. I totally joined Delta Theta Phi, and they’re, like, so into me already! It’s going to be, like, the best thing ever!”
Matty stared at the text, his stomach twisting slightly. Something was off. Cassie—Cassie—was now using words like "totes" and "like" in every sentence. The bubbly, confident girl he once knew was changing right before his eyes, and part of him was unsettled by it. But the other part of him—Matt—found himself excited. This was the life he was supposed to be living. The frat parties, the competitions, the workouts. He couldn’t deny it: it felt good. Maybe, just maybe, this was who he was meant to be.
The Frat Life
Later that day, Matt was dragged into the fraternity house by a group of upperclassmen who had somehow decided he was frat material. They forced him to attend a party, where they pumped him full of beer, made him play beer pong, and introduced him to a whole new world of “bro” behaviour.
“You’re gonna crush it, bro,” Brock, the frat president, said as he threw an arm around Matt’s shoulders. “You’re one of us now. Party hard, hit the gym, and get with the ladies. That’s the frat way.”
“Yeah, dude,” Matt replied, nodding with a grin. “For sure. I’m, like, all in.”
The party raged on around him. It was loud. It was chaotic. But Matt had never felt more at home. The guys were laughing, the music was pounding, and everything about it felt right. He had no interest in the quiet, introspective kid he once was. This new life was everything he ever wanted. The muscles, the confidence, the parties—it was all here.
Cassie & The Sorority
At the same time, Cassie had fully embraced her new role in Delta Theta Phi. She walked around with her new sisters, a radiant smile on her face as they gossiped about their crushes and the upcoming sorority events. She had become, without a doubt, the epitome of a sorority girl. She was bubbly, she was popular, and she was constantly surrounded by attention.
But something about it never felt wrong. Cassie loved Matt. They were still dating, and no one could change that. Even though she was now a full-on "valley girl"—talking about boys, parties, and perfecting her “look”—her feelings for Matt hadn't wavered. In fact, if anything, she felt more connected to him than ever. She couldn’t wait to see him after every party, to tell him about her day, to laugh together over the silliest things.
She wasn't cheating, not at all. It was just that college life had changed them both, had made them more into the people they seemed to be destined to be. But even through all the transformations, her feelings for Matt never wavered.
A Relationship that Stays Strong
As the semester went on, Matt and Cassie (who had become an official part of the Greek system) lived in their new worlds. They attended parties, worked out together, and talked about their plans for the future. Despite their transformations, their love for each other was still the anchor that kept them grounded.
Cassie was happy with her sorority, yes. But she never let it interfere with her relationship. Matt was the same. The bro culture didn’t change how he felt about her. They made time for each other. They texted. They hung out. They still made each other laugh. Their personalities had changed, sure—but their connection hadn’t.
And while both of them had slipped into their new roles as frat bro and sorority girl, they hadn’t forgotten each other. They were still in love, still dating, still choosing each other every day.
For the first time, they both realized: sometimes you don’t need to be who you were in high school to find happiness. Maybe who they were now—Matt and Cassie—was who they were always meant to be.
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(Matty on the left and Brock on the right, Cassie on the right and her sorority sister on the left)
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sufferu · 2 days ago
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A major problem I see with your dogshow and your back to zero stories is the fact that there appears to be no end to the tunnel of despair.
specifically I am talking about Subaru’s mental stability and your fascination for removing a central pillar of his mental system.
I see no other outcome for him not to suffer a complete mental collapse like he did in episode fifteen.
for your dogshow fic it is worse because both he and his “friends” saw everything that he went through and should know how much being loved through the position of being a knight is good for him.
even if they are focused on the actual issue of tossing him out to the front lines.
I personally believe that Subaru needs to be a hero/knight or something like a dog or sex toy for Emilia or else he is forced to confront the horrible reality of his friends being assholes who killed him on mere whims.
I don’t think that Subaru can ever recover from another catatonic state. The only reason why he did was because Petelguese had provoked wrath from Subaru and the spirit is no longer alive.
for back to zero it’s has a better chance of Subaru not going catatonic because it is set before the whale and witch cult, so there’s always the possibility of the whale and witch’s cult not acting like they did last time.
of course there is the problem that once they start losing one of the random soldiers would decide to kill Subaru to reset the encounter like he was the cosmic reset button.
thus why I called your story torture porn because despite your claims that it be happier for Subaru eventually, all I see is the angst without a happy ending.
I assume that you are going for a tragedy story where the characters are trying to solve problems but they can’t get past their mistakes.
however I personally believe that re zero is already a tragedy/lovecraftian-psychological horror story and that adding even more to that is needlessly cruel to everyone involved.
I don’t read a lot of tragedy but I assume that there is a through line of action that the characters can take to make everything better but don’t take it for some reason.
for your stories, I don’t see anything like this. All I see is “And things get even worse.”
seriously Subaru basically has no life lines left after Wilhelm removed Subaru from being a knight.
what is stopping him from just giving up on life after basically being disowned by everyone?
…You know what? That is a valuable outside perspective, so thank you.
But I will say: we seem to have VERY different ideas about what would be a “happy ending” in a story like this, because the ending that you just told me is one that I would less describe as “happy” and more as “full of soul-crushing despair.”
Subaru remaining a knight/hero for the rest of his natural life after everyone learns that doing so is basically sentencing him to indescribable torment for the rest of his days, purely because that is the only way he can conceive of being loved by other people — how is that HAPPY? And using it as a distraction in order to run from the realities exposed by Return By Death — how is that healthier than confronting said realities outright? If I WERE to write a tragedy, I’d likely end this story much in the way that you just described: where everything was too much to deal with and so everyone decided to remain in stasis forever while turning a blind eye to the suffering at the core of it all, Ones Who Stay In Omelas style. Tragedies aren’t really my style, though, so I AM writing towards a happy ending — though I’m not spoiling what it is, for No Refunds OR Back to Zero. (Though really, you could probably guess a good chunk of at least the former already.)
But like — without spoilers, yeah, something like this would probably break him. That doesn’t mean he has to STAY broken. Sometimes you have to re-break a bone so that it heals correctly. Sometimes you have to tear down something you worked hard on because there’s a critical fault in the foundations that could destroy everything if left unchecked. Sometimes bandaids need to be ripped off.
And also — yeah, everyone is PISSED at Subaru at the moment (post-ficlet). But who the hell said that they didn’t love him anymore?
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summonerj · 2 years ago
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You know those posts about Danny owning John Constantine’s soul for one reason or another, why just Constantine, why not have several people in the Justice League somehow in debt because of something or someone in their past; like someone’s mom selling their first born; or a stupid dare they did in their childhood; maybe someone asking for protection for their children in their last breath; maybe they got caught up in a ritual; maybe an old generational curse; or an old enemy
somehow this happens to the vast majority of heroes, villains, vigilantes, anti-heroes and supernatural. The only person confirmed to not be indebted to the Ghost King by the Ghost King himself is Batman
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cfffrk · 9 days ago
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TW// D**D BODY, PUTREFACTION
the ONE fanfic that shouldn't be named
(The first picture – censored version)
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The poor man did not accept the accident to the last. His once mighty mind, like a layer of eternal frozen ice, had at all times kept him firmly on the surface of sanity. It took about a week for the calm in his soul to change to a storm, and those miles and miles of permafrost to melt away and leave only a thin slippery ice flake, the last thing that kept him from sinking into the dark raging waters of madness. He clung as hard as he could, though the cold water was already washing over the top of his head. The wave hit. The ice cracked...
and darkness fell.
(all coincidences with actors from the show are coincidental)
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eddiemunsonsmum · 1 month ago
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Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
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*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
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winnie-the-monster · 1 year ago
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The more and more I think about it, the more tragic Landons story actually becomes. 😭😭😭 and I just want Landon back so badly. So he can get a better story and a chance at happiness.
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arts-i-enjoy · 1 year ago
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Something I've noticed from subbing to just a couple of very small patreons (like fewer than 50 members) is how SHY people are about talking to the creator that they are paying! What's up with that? I wonder if it's because most of these patrons come via tumblr, where there is the culture of talking in the tags/reblogs and comments being your "outdoor voice"/basically it being RUDE to talk to people.
I think that's fucked up, especially in the context of artists (just to be clear every time I say artists that is inclusive of writers). Like these are people that are making a thing and showing it to you, they don't just want silent nods of approval by way of reblogs/likes. They want FEEDBACK. They want CONNECTION. I think a fundamental part of creating and sharing art is the goal of connection. And I don't think people realize how truly disheartening it is to post something and then get completely silent likes/reblogs.
For the love of God they are TALKING TO YOU. TALK BACK!!!!
#i love you arts-i-enjoy where i can post thoughts direct from my brain and trust that no one will ever see it 😌#this post brought to you by: me#i get we're on tumblr where most of the interactions we see are people saying the most batshit things#but literally just be nice and respectful and i swear to you i promise you people will be happy you commented#talking in the tags is good!!! i do that a lot on art and stuff! but also on platforms like ao3 or patreon where the only option is comment#DO THAT. THAT IS WAY BETTER THAN NOTHING.#maybe im projecting but i Always love it when people talk to me as long as they are kind#i just. think we could be nicer to each other. and make each other happier#also thinking about the times ive trained people are my job and my friend who is a Trainer for their job#and how absolutely soul crushing it is to talk and talk and know that people are there and are choosing not to talk back to you#like the people in training that just. laugh at my dumb little light hearted comment. i owe them everything#oof throw back to the day i spent 8 hours training 15 people in a class together and i think the whole time 2 of them came of mute ever#destroy your voice and also your enthusiasm with this one easy 8 hour trick! you will want to sleep for three days!#god im such a fucking people person how did i ever think i was a hardcore “”“”introvert“”“”#nooo baby youre just completely socially isolated and depressed meet some people you actually like and you will see the light baby girl#this week is gonna fucking kill me. my last local friends are moving to a different state. im gonna be alone. in florida#gahhhhhhhhh#anyways yeah talk to people about the stuff they make itll enrich both of you <3
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axolotlclown · 10 months ago
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Cosmetic surgeons are often partnered with hospitals so ofc people can get top surgery at hospitals why are you spreading misinfo about a surgery thats already hard to get.
??? This actually might be a miscommunication about location and intention. Hospitals do not offer top surgery in my part of the US. There was one hospital that did, but that hospital had to drop its gender affirming care or risk losing funding from the state. I only offered my experiences with the process of getting a top surgery as prompted by the poll (I assume you came from). In my experience, and the experiences of the transgender people in this area, the big road block to top surgery is the price rather than finding quality surgeons. I believe, at least in the US, that is a common concern. It was one thing I wish I knew before starting the process. It is expensive and insurance never covers it. I'm not sure where you're from—maybe these surgeries are possible to get in hospitals. where I'm from, elective surgeries are not commonly done in hospitals at all.
I apologize for the miscommunication, but I assure you that I am not intentionally spreading misinformation, but rather sharing advice from my experiences. I hope all is well.
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retiredteabag · 2 months ago
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The soul does not lie
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synopsis: Sukuna allows tedious nonsense when he can feel your soul's cravings.
〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰〰・♡・〰
Though he hardly mentions it, Sukuna can, in fact, feel your soul in a way that a normal sorcerer never could. Knowing this helps to make sense of the fact that the man can always tell when you are distressed, even when you try to hide it.
You had discovered this little ability of his when he had come stomping in from the gardens one day while you watched unblinkingly at a horror film.
With your eyes only visible through the slots of your fingers you looked up to see him standing, arms crossed, in the entry way of his chambers.
"What is it that brings you fear?" He had thundered.
"W-what... no, nothing, I'm just watching a movie, see?" You flipped your phone around for the man too see but he did not take his eyes off your form.
"I do not repeat myself." His four eyes were squinted and his eyebrows arched in a dangerously attractive way.
"Kuna' it's a horror movie, that's all, I'm not really scared." You finally announced to the rolling of four red eyes.
"Your soul states otherwise." He quipped before drawing close to try and see what had your soul trembling so fearfully. He was disappointed, to say the least when he was unable to identify what was so "horrific" about your film.
And that marked the moment you realized that Sukuna was able to feel you in a way you could not understand.
Sukuna was NOT a gentleman, he was far, far from it. He loved to bring terror to the masses, very rarely did he allow another beings to so much as speak in his presence. He did, however, have "soft spots" for creatures that sparked his interest, and those remarkably loyal.
Even so, he did not make efforts to calm your nerves when you were anxious. He did not feel the slightest effect in his chest when your sorrow was palpable. He would certainly not allow for time to be wasted on your souls quivering's. That-was none of his concern.
It was not as if he was taking any actions when he allowed your pathetic "cuddling" nonsense when he felt the pangs of misery that surrounded your essence.
You had tried to hold him in the past but he did not see the use in wrapping oneself around another. Even so, he found himself pretending to sleep (even though he did not need it) when he sensed your desperation for his touch.
Likewise, when he could feel the shaky and childish excitement that bled from your soul when you were happy, he could not seem to help but humor you.
As mentioned, Sukuna does not require sleep like your helpless human form. Still, it was not uncommon for the king of curses to close his eyes, relaxing in his ultimate power. Be it when he bathes, when he is lounging on his palace's engawa, when he is seated on his throne, or even when he reclines himself along his chamber's bed.
Sukuna had his eyes closed one evening, feeling his power splay out from his body, grasping at the forms of everyone within his domain. When he sensed your spirit, quickly approaching his chambers.
He made the decision then to seem uninterested when you clambered through the doors.
He could hear the switch in your step as you drew in a breath, clearly forgetting what you had wished to say at the sudden image before you.
The bloodthirsty man had never looked more like a jungle cat, lying atop his bed in such a lazy fashion. He felt the exact moment your soul leapt. He knew you had covered your mouth as your heavy breathing had dulled despite your heartbeat climbing to unusual heights.
He knew of your antics. Having felt you chew on each of his biceps several times. You had that same giddiness now. It was simply that he did not care to move that he kept his eyes closed. Pretending not to notice as you took out your phone, your feet dancing around him. He'll allow you to take your ridiculous photos, he's too... relaxed... to... take issue with your senseless mischief.
He could tell you had finished when he heard you pocket your phone once more, your hands covering your beating heart, you leaned down, holding your breath. The king of curses had to keep himself from squishing his face in ....disgust.... as you planted a chaste kiss in the space between his lower eye and his upper lip.
"You're too precious." You quietly whisper. Brushing your hand softly through his hair. And Sukuna rolled his eyes behind his lids.
Such foolishness he has never seen. Even so- he will allow it.
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sleepymarimo · 1 year ago
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𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕣!
summary: the first time you make their heart skip a beat, w/ monster trio + law! pairing(s): luffy x gn!reader, zoro x gn!reader, sanji x gn!reader, law x gn!reader cw: none! an: ahhhh idk how to feel about this one but i hope you enjoy :') 👐
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luffy
there are a lot of things that get luffy's heart racing.
a good meal. a cool looking fish. a killer party. all of it makes this captain happy, because he revels in the adventure. he lives for the moment. he feels deeply and strongly, a trait that acts as a double edged sword.
like now, as a torrent of anger and worry swirl in his chest and weigh him down. he's running through some dense woods, bursting through trees and falling down hills, a look of determination on his face.
an enemy had managed to sneak up on the crew.
what's worse? they ran off. with you.
luffy doesn't think twice. he pushes through anything in his way for the sake of finding you before things got too rough. as he runs, he finds the enemy's actions cowardly. someone using you to draw him out makes him irritate. he doesn't care if he's falling into some trap; he'd deal with whatever was put in front of him so long as he could rescue you.
he's worried for your well being, of course he is. even though he can't see you, he can feel you. his observation haki lets him know how frightened you are, a fact that makes him all the more angry.
then finally, in the distance, he catches sight of you.
you're in a clearing, the enemy looming over you. they're raising a weapon in your direction, much too close.
luffy feels his blood boil. he grabs ahold of some trees, running backwards and preparing to launch himself in your direction as fast as he can. his rubber arms grow taut as he stretches, his mind set on rescuing you.
an annoyed huff leaves him when he hears the enemy taunting you, threatening your life and mocking your ambitions. it has luffy's anger rising, because there was no way he'd let your dreams get made fun of. by anyone.
his thoughts become hazy, his strong feelings taking hold of his actions.
then, luffy hears it. it's like a melody, absolute music to his ears.
your laugh.
ba-dum! ba-dum!
his head clears.
he can feel a big smile curling at his lips. his grin is all teeth, his eyes shining with equal parts pride and mischief. it's like a fire has been lit in his soul, like he's a toy that's just been wound up to the max.
even in your current predicament, even when you're utterly terrified, you have faith in yourself. in him.
if you can laugh, then so can he.
finally, he yells out his signature move, launching himself at the enemy and landing a punch so hard that it makes the air itself tremble.
"luffy!" you call with some tears prickling in your eyes, your limbs still shaky from the adrenaline. your smile falters at the edges, relief flooding your body. "you made it!"
your captain comes to life upon seeing your smile up close, his heart beating like a drum. his rubber arms wrap around you and he squeezes you to his chest, his laughter ringing in your ears.
"of course i did!" he grins, grabbing you by the hand and urging you to run with him to the ship. his grip on you is tight and secure. glancing back at you, he can't help but feel grateful to have you with him on this journey.
he snickers, letting emotion run through him without restriction. "you made my heart feel funny!"
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zoro
after another victory, the straw hat pirates found themselves reveling in drinks, food and company.
for a while, the swordsman finds himself amidst the other heavy drinkers. he grins and knocks back bottle after bottle, content with listening to the animated conversations around him and observing the party.
eventually though, he craves some solitude. and so, he heads off towards a less occupied area where he can drink in peace.
he basks in isolation, until you manage to find your way to him. a big grin is on your face and he can't help but reciprocate with a small smirk when he notices your inebriated state. unceremoniously, you plop down next to him at a respectable distance.
“hey zo', gimme some!” you nod towards the large bottle he holds, completely immersed in the light, upbeat atmosphere. one of your hands even reaches out, making a sort of grabbing motion.
he possessively tightens his grip on the bottle, his expression hardening slightly as his brows furrowed. "hah? this is mine, go grab your own bottle."
"i don't wanna full drink, jus' need a little more and i'll be good." you answer, well aware of your limits. your tone becomes pleading as you look up at him with puppy dog eyes. "one sip. please?"
with a groan, he relents. he grumbles something about you being lucky that he's in such a good mood, before extending the bottle in your direction.
yet, it appears that you have some more tricks up your sleeve.
instead of grabbing the bottle, you simply tilt your head back and let your mouth hang open. you make an 'ah' sound, waiting for him to bestow you with the gift of alcohol.
he's a little taken aback at first. seriously? you wanted him to pour it for you? ugh, fine...
he rolls his eye and uses his free hand to firmly hold your jaw steady and open, bringing the bottle up and pouring the sake into your mouth.
your hand rests on his, your fingers absentmindedly tracing over his knuckles.
it's all fine at first, until his eyes lock with yours. in that moment, he seems to acknowledge the intimacy of the act, something primal stirring in his gut as he looked down at you. his cheeks redden.
ba-dum! ba-dum!
his muscles tense and he goes almost still. he gets so distracted that his hand moves upwards, effectively drowning your face with sake. your head snaps back into its natural position and you start to cough, the alcohol burning your nostrils.
you give the swordsman an incredulous look, wiping the excess sake from your face. “what the hell was that for?”
“you’re the one that moved!” he sharply replies, even though he knows damn well that you were sitting good and still for him.
focusing inward, he seems pleased to feel that his heart is once again thumping steadily. unwavering. what an odd feeling it was, to have his strong heart skip a beat.
i'll deal with that later. he thinks, not at all wanting to open that can of worms.
so, he takes another swig from the bottle and uses one of his large hands to pat you on the back as you continued to cough up sake.
“oi, don’t waste good booze.”
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sanji
the cook wasn't used to being spoiled. he's always been a giver, someone who provides and never takes.
he basked in the smiles that formed on the faces of his crew mates, his family, whenever he made them a good meal or protected them. he never asks for anything in return. however, that doesn’t mean that he shouldn’t be shown appreciation every now and then.
currently, he's on night watch.
a thick blanket is wrapped around his shoulders, the cold wind nipping at his cheeks and painting them a reddish color. a cigarette hangs from his lips, his breaths coming out as white puffs against the dark sky.
out of the corner of his eye, he can see light pouring out from the kitchen window. how long has that been on? his brows furrow in suspicion as he makes his way over, half-expecting to see luffy attempting to crack open the pantry.
yet when he opens the door, his posture immediately relaxes and he practically melts as he sees you. you're in your pajamas, hunched over the stove with a focused expression. he takes note of the cookbook laid out on the counter, guiding you as you prepared a dish.
he calls your name, his limbs turning to mush as he approached you. "what are you doing here so late? if you're hungry, i'll make you some-"
his nose twitches as he catches the scent of what you're making.
he knows it well because it happens to be one of his favorite dishes. coincidentally, it was one of your least favorites, the scent of it rather unbearable to you.
"you're... you're making..." his cigarette threatens to tumble out of his lips as he gives you a bewildered expression.
he can see your nose briefly scrunch up before you give him a smile, one of your hands holding a wooden spoon and mixing up ingredients on a pan. "yeah. i hope i'm making it right. i mean, it won't be as good as yours anyway, but still."
"mon amour, you shouldn't. i know how much you can't stand the smell of it." he tries to usher you away, placing a hand on yours and insisting that he didn't want you to be queasy. "why're you making this, mon amour? did someone ask you to?"
you shrug and keep a firm hold on the wooden spoon, replying like the answer was obvious. "because i thought it'd make you happy."
ba-dum! ba-dum!
his cigarette does fall to the floor. the hand that's over yours tightens, perhaps his way of grounding himself. he's speechless for a moment, something shaking him down to his very center.
he could almost cry.
"sanji?" you ask, a little concerned for the chef as his eyes seemed to glaze over.
the blond snaps out of it, giving you a smile that's so warm it makes you wonder if the sun had just come up. there's none of that surface level attraction or lust in his gaze, only an authentic appreciation.
thank you. he thinks, feeling light. thank you for caring.
his eyes close as he once again takes in the scent of the dish you're preparing. "it smells great, mon amour. better than anything i've ever made, i’m sure of it."
"i doubt that." you laugh, downplaying his compliment. with a nod, you resume cooking. "it'll be finished by the time you're done with your watch. i can handle it."
sanji thanks you once more, his heart feeling full. returning to his post, he allows you to do something kind for him. he allows himself to take, without worrying about having to repay you.
he quells any lingering thoughts of insecurity and self-doubt, focusing instead on the meal that's sure to be waiting for him in the morning.
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law
it was a couple weeks ago that law made the decision to educate the crew a bit more on medical practices.
the surgeon knew that he couldn’t always be around to provide assistance to the crew, so it was only logical that he trained everyone in basic first aid, including you. day after day, he trained everyone, one at a time.
was it a lot? yes. however, law liked to be prepared and felt comfort in being thorough with his teachings, regardless of how tedious it was.
so, finally it was your day to be trained under his watchful eye.
you could tell how passionate he was about his work, how knowledgeable. if you had any questions or wanted to know more about a topic, he took the time to explain it to you properly.
he was quite patient, something you were thankful for since you knew he could sometimes grow frustrated.
when it's all said and done, he quizzes you. he sits atop the exam table, his expression apathetic.
"i'm a patient suffering from shortness of breath, chest pain and dizziness." he flatly says, watching your every move. "what comes to mind? what do you check first?"
you bite at your lip, your head scrambling to come up with any ideas of what your 'patient' could be suffering from. "arrhythmia?" you answer, uncertain. he gives you a pressing look, urging you to continue. "and i... check your heartbeat?"
"good." with a nod of his head, he gestures towards the stethoscope. "go ahead, then. check it and let's see if you get the reading right."
pushing past your initial hesitance, you grab the stethoscope and put it on, gently holding the bell in your hand. placing it on his clothed chest, your expression turns frustrated as you struggle to hear a beat.
he rolls his eyes and calls your name lightly. "you can't place it over fabric. it needs to go directly on the skin."
oh yeah, you needed to place it directly on his chest.
you click your tongue, embarrassed by your slight error. "yeah, yeah, i got it."
with that, your hand slips under the hem of his shirt.
however, instead of holding up his shirt and and placing the stethoscope directly over his heart, your hand slides upward from his abdomen and all the way to his chest.
your fingers inadvertently graze along his skin, tracing a warm path from his navel to his heart.
you're too focused on your task to notice his widening eyes and how his breath hitches.
a content smile forms on your face when you catch the sound of his heartbeat.
ba-dum! ba-dum!
you look up at him, slightly concerned. “i think there's something weird-"
"you're hearing things." he's quick to say, placing a hand over yours and promptly removing it from his person. standing from the exam table, he adjusts his shirt and takes a step back to put some much needed distance between the two of you. "good job today, you did well."
he turns in the opposite direction, not wanting to let his cracked composure show. steeling himself, he takes a deep breath and shakes off any residual feelings of unease.
it was just a fluke. he's quick to think, wanting to be rational.
in the end, he looks over his shoulder and gives you a nod before heading to his study.
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webism · 22 days ago
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kinktober day thirteen; somno w/ toji
toji loves it when you wear his shirts to bed. part of it is a natural possession, sure. seeing you drown in fabric made for his body is enough to send blood southwards. but his love for you in his clothes stems from something a whole lot simpler — his shirts always ride up while you sleep.
toji loves how adamant you are that his clothes are comfier to sleep in, and of course who needs panties when his shirts are so long on you that they act as a nightgown anyway? but you must turn in your sleep enough to kick the sheets down and ride his your top up in the same regard.
toji works late, comes home sore and tired and with one-too-many deaths on his hands at times. it's a sight for sore eyes, to see you sleeping soundly with your entire lower half exposed. top half too, his shirt bunched up so high your tits spill out from beneath the fabric as well. you're peaceful, away in a dream-state and unaware of his presence in the room. though there's something there, in your subconscious mind—having gone to sleep after texting him with permission to have his way with you when he gets home... even in sleep your mind races with hope.
toji tries to keep his movements small, and he thanks whatever god is out there for his silent steps because waking you up is the last thing he wants to do. not when you look so good like this, laid out and unassuming—maybe its his streak of a corruption kink, or his quiet hope to prove you wrong in your trust, but he wants you asleep for this, at least for the first part. you don't wake as he climbs onto the bed and roves his strong hands up your legs, parting them at the knees and settling his large frame between them.
toji isn't an inquisitive man—he's rough and sharp and mean and acts before he thinks and hardly knows how to handle a feeling. but toji watches your sleeping frame from between your legs and wonders just how much pleasure you could handle in your sleep until it bore too heavy on your soul and woke you up.
toji who eats you out with a delicate tongue for the first time ever: he's never been this kind with you, usually he's drooling all over your pussy, biting at your thighs and wrecking you with the curl of your fingers until you're a teary mess and threatening to suffocate him between your thighs. he learns he likes savouring your taste on his tongue, that you're sweeter when he takes his time—how the slow buildup of your lust on his tongue is just as narcotic as when he's got it smeared all over his face with how mean he eats it.
toji who manages to keep you sleeping even as he pushes two of his thick fingers inside of you, curls them upwards in as gentle of an assault on your pleasure spot he can manage. big the way you start your writhe, how your body recognises him even in a sleep state, turns him on just a little too much.
toji who can’t help himself once he feels your body melting into the thrums of need. he doesn’t want to waste your orgasm when you aren’t awake to fully enjoy it, so he pulls his fingers out of you and gets up to pull his stiff length from his boxers. he knows it’s mean of him, but he wants to wake you with a jolt — and so he does.
toji bottoms out inside of you in one sharp thrust and you wake with a gasp to the stretch of his cock nested so deep you feel it in your stomach. heart racing, entire body alight with need, toji is quick to quiet your gasps with two fingers pushed between your lips and pressed against your tongue. “taste yourself, mama. fuckin’ soaked for me even when you’re sleeping. didya dream about me or somethin?”
toji fushiguro decides there and then that he will learn the mechanics of your body so fluently that he will be able to fuck his cum into you twice over without waking you up. leaving you to rise in the morning and wonder why you’re so sticky and sore—but until then, he’s happy with the way you can’t help but yawn as he pulls almost all the way out of you, just to fucking scream as he thrusts back in.
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ghostdeals · 4 months ago
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It bother me so much that people misunderstand sayaka miki's descent into madness in madoka magica. She doesnt become a witch "just because of a boy." Sayaka is a character who ties all her self worth into being in service of others. We can see this right from the start with her idolization of mami and everything that she was. She saw mami as this "perfect hero" even though mami i would say is mentally the weakest of the holy quintet. In the timelines where mami finds out about the incubator's true goals she always immediately breaks and goes crazy, trying to kill the other girls in her own twisted way of trying to "save them". Instead of seeing the fragile person that mami was, sayaka instead sort of treats her as a martyr, a goal to achieve. We continue on to sayaka's magical girl wish. Instead of wishing for something for herself, she instead sells her soul for the sake of kyousuke. Then when he starts dating hitomi she spirals not because she's sad about the rejection but because she feels replaced in his life, that he doesn't need or want her around anymore. Then she throws herself into her magical girl work not seeing that she's harming herself because she justifies it with "well im saving people that means what im doing is a good thing." She doesn't see that she's becoming more sloppy, more ruthless until its too late. It's only in the end when she turns into a witch that her story gets resolved.
Sayaka Miki is an incredibly sad character to me. While her actions have the illusion of being selfless and "for the greater good" she is actually incredibly selfishly motivated. Everything she does is in service of wanting praise and admiration from the people she cares about. If she helps kyousuke he'll appreciate her and love her, if she becomes a hero she'll receive praise and admiration for being a good person. This is why it is important that of all people it was kyoko that fought sayaka in the end. To homura, sayaka is someone to be saved. To mami, sayaka is her sweet apprentice/younger sister figure. To madoka, sayaka is her energetic and happy go lucky friend. Kyoko is the only one who from the start called sayaka out on her bullshit, seeing straight through her. And at the end, kyoko is the one who truly accepts sayaka. Sayaka as the witch Oktavia von Seckendorff is stated multiple times in official material to be "looking for love." In the end it it kyoko who gives her that love. Even when sayaka has lost her humanity it is kyoko who accepts her for the entirety of who sayaka is with all of her selfishness and desires. She is the one who sees what sayaka has become and stays together with her till both of their ends. Kyoko choosing to die with sayaka is her saying "I'm here for you, i know all of you, and I will love you regardless."
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sqtorux · 4 months ago
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extra phone bills don't mean much to satoru who has more money than he knows what to do with.
you know, being a one man clan on top of being the strongest sorcerer and all, what's a little paid phone service gonna do?
a lot, apparantly.
because that phone, that small device— is the only thing he has of you left. the only connection he could hold onto lies in the form of your saved voicemail.
satoru saw an old married couple today. they were walking hand in hand and chucking to themselves as the world around did not seem to matter to them.
they looked lovely and oh so in love as if the ages their bodies have been through has not passed with the way their souls were still thriving on the love they shared. as if they were young again.
he had recalled the tender whispers and hushed giggles of dreaming about the very scene in front of him, with you.
he had recalled the way he swore he'd be yours and yours alone, until death would have to take him away from you.
how ironic and merciless is it that death took you away from him first.
now the only traces of you he has left, are the still pictures and the short reels of your life on screens. he loved your voicemail out of all because that's the only thing realistic enough to enable him to talk to you. even if there was nobody on the other line of the phone.
satoru finds himself dialing your number — it rings and rings until it gets cut off by the voice he so desperately wanted to hear.
"hi you've reached me! leave your message after the beep and i'll get back to you as soon as i can!"
it sounds cheerful, sweet; the essence of everything he remembered you by. it was also cruel — the way you sounded so happy when he was crying your name helplessly on his line.
trembling lips and quivering voice of longing and pain found themselves on satoru's otherwise composed state.
the room was so eerily quiet in contrast to his wails of ache but he pays no mind.
on satoru's silent days, he misses you a little louder.
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ja3hwa · 17 days ago
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♡ 𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 | 𝐂.𝐒 ♡
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Day Twenty Two - A/B/O
【Synopsis】 : He was your best friend. The only person would could trust. But yet you had kept a secret from you that would change your relationship in an instant. How would he react once he finds out?
『Word count』 :  3.43k
-> Genre: A/B/O. Smut. Angst. Romance.
Pairing: Alpha!San x Omega!Reader
[Warnings] : Mention of gambling. Bets. Sub-gender. Misogynism. Sexism. Protective San. Typical a/b/o hierarchy system. omegas are considered rare. scent blockers. heats and ruts. a lot of crying. mating and the idea of soulmates. listen, this one big ball of mess. Unprotected sex. Sweet love making. Crying. Use of the name omega and alpha. Ripping of clothing. Claiming. Marking. Biting. Blood.
Networks: @wonderlandnet @illusionnet @cromernet @k-vanity
Note: This is my first time writing Abo and boy was this hard. Ahha. Im so used to adding the Werewolf trope into this kinda genre, so trying to separate it was a challenge, but i hope i did well none the less. ♡♡
Masterlist | Navigation | Kinktober list | Tip Jar ♡
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The town where you grew up, small and concealed between two rolling hills and dense forests, was all you knew. When you moved there when you were only four years old, your parents quickly made a name for themselves. New life, new identities. It wasn’t that your parents were criminals, on the run from the law. But it was more so for your sake. Your father was a gambler and one evening in a drunken rage and the loss of almost every penny he had to his name, a gentleman bet for another round. One simple game. And if he won, he could walk out with everything he lost, including an extra hundred thousand for his troubles… but if he lost,
You would now belong to the man.
It was simple really, you were an omega. A rare jewel in the ever-growing population of betas and alphas. So the man wanted you. To raise you for your sub-gender. Your father lost that night and shook the man's hand in defeat but when he went to leave he stole one of the priceless rubies that hung on the mantle before fleeing. The ruby bought him and your family a new life far away from the crime lord. But that day your father had decided to take matters into his own hands, using his earnings to find scent-blockers that were so potent, you would show as a beta.
Your life was luckily in a state of normalcy after that. Both your mother and father led stable jobs and happy lives as you progressed smoothly in school. But it wasn't until you hit high school that you met Choi San, your best friend. San, the confident and charismatic alpha, who had always been protective of you since the day you met. He couldn’t explain it but it was like whenever you were around, nothing else mattered. He knew you weren’t soulmates since the click never happened but maybe you were a different kind of soul mate? A bond shared between two people that was unexplainable? San would spend most nights thinking about how to describe his feelings towards you but he would always end up landing back on the same word over and over again…
Home.
Your bond had flourished over the years of teenhood and evolved stronger in your college years. It was built upon late-night conversations, shared secrets, and laughter that echoed in the empty spaces of each other's homes. And with each day somehow, you both fell more and more in love. But yet, you could never find the right moment to tell him the truth. That you weren’t a beta but in fact an omega. Your father's last wish on his deathbed was that you would never tell a single soul what you really were. Thanks, dad… And with your mother out of town for a conference with her job, you were left with fate and oh, had it played a cruel trick on you.
The scent blockers you relied on to keep your omega pheromones at bay had been discontinued without warning, leaving you vulnerable for the first time in your life since the crime lord all those years ago. You didn’t know how to react when the woman on the phone said they had been removed from stocks. Something about an illegal toxin? You weren’t paying too much attention after that. She had advised you to go to a doctor since you had never been without the blockers and it could cause your body to go into shock.
And, oh boy did your doctor nearly fall out of her chair when you told her the truth. She was luckily an omega herself so she understood why your family did it but the withdrawals and long-lasting effects the blockers had were not healthy in the slightest. She prescribed an antibiotic to help with the pain but she strongly insists you go through your first heat and let your body regulate itself before you go onto normal scent blockers for omegas.
To say your life went face up all in one afternoon was not an exaggeration. And that is how you found yourself dodging San, struggling to maintain your composure as the instinctual nature of her omega threatened to surface. The first day without your scent blocker had been manageable, but by the third day, you were acutely aware of the heat in your cheeks and the way your heart raced at the thought of San drawing near. You had to call into your college and tell them you were ill and unable to come onto campus until further notice.
Day four the symptoms grew. The heat pooling all over your body while the cramps began to brew inside your lower belly. All your senses felt like they were turned up to a thousand, the slightest wrong noise or texture would throw you off and you found yourself slowly building a nest in the centre of your lounge room. You’ve never nested before let alone experienced any of the natural omega tropes since the blockers completely had stripped that part of your identity so you felt completely out of place as you stared at the piles of pillows, plushies, blankets and of sorts.
“Why did I have to be like this?” You whispered to yourself, feeling a twinge of guilt and disgust. It wasnt that you hated omegas, it's just that you hated the world for wanting them so bad. Letting out a sigh. You could feel the growing yearn simmering beneath your skin, beginning to crave the only thing that she cared for in her life…San. But he couldn’t have him. They were friends and he needed to stay away.
San, however, was not the type to be easily deterred, nor did he want to listen to your randomly vague text about being sick. He quickly noticed your sudden withdrawal and lack of communication making him feel a gnawing worry clawing at his insides. With every unanswered text and unreturned phone call, a sense of dread embedded itself in his heart. So, on the afternoon of the fifth day, he decided he couldn’t stand it any longer. Determined to find you and get to the bottom of what was really going on, he raced over to your place, concern fueling his speed.
As he entered your home, the first thing that hit him was an overwhelming, intoxicating sweetness that engulfed his senses. It was your scent—rich, vibrant, and uniquely yours. San had always recognized the floral undertones of your pheromones, but this time it was all-consuming. The moment he inhaled deeply, something primal stirred deep within him, awakening the animalistic instincts of his wolf. You were…
“Doll!!” he called, the sound of his voice echoing against the walls as he hurried down the hall. He found you in the living room, curled up on the floor in the centre of your nest, a book lying loosely in your hands as you were using it to distract yourself. Looking up, your eyes widened with concern and panic, but as your gaze locked with his, San felt an insatiable instinct surge through him, igniting the dormant feelings he had kept buried for so long. A click that was supposed to snap a long time ago.
"San!" You exclaimed, trying to mask the flush creeping up your neck and the growing embarrassment you felt when you looked at him. Of course, he was your mate, it was obvious from the start, but your blockers had prevented the bound from snapping in place leaving you both in an abyss of strange longing and sleepless nights. “You shouldn’t be here. I—I haven’t been taking any blockers.”
The weight of your words hung in the air, shifting the atmosphere between both of you. His mind raced with thoughts he had never dared to voice, yet the raw, potent scent of your pheromones coaxed his animal side to the forefront. The thoughts of claiming you grew stronger with every breath that hitched in this throat. You looked so cute in your little sleep shorts and one of his old band shirts. You were disappointed it doesn’t smell like him anymore when you found it in your room but it was the only thing that was bringing you comfort in this situation.
“I was worried about you,” he admitted softly, stepping closer before stopping himself. “You’ve been avoiding me, and I was beginning to think…”
“San, I don’t think you understand,” You said, desperation creeping into your voice. The sense of heartbreak began to overwhelm you. The foolishness of your actions building up and the pain that the world had forcibly put you through. Hiding your sub-gender to protect yourself from those who wished to use it for their own desires, had now caused you to lose out on time with your mate. Time and moon cycles you would never get back... “I can’t control it, and you being here… it’s making it worse.”
“But why?” he pressed, his wolfish instincts battling against the tender pull of their friendship. “You think I don’t want to be near you? You think I don’t feel something for you, too? We are mates for fuck sakes!”
The confessions hung heavy in the air, laced with a tension neither had anticipated. Your heart raced at his words, a mix of fear and exhilaration swirling within your chest. But you couldn’t help but cry, “Do you even know what you’re saying?” she breathed, her pulse quickening. “You could—” 
“I could, what? Hate you for hiding that you’re an omega? Hate you for being my soulmate?” His voice was intense, eyes glinting with the raw emotion of his desire, he too was now breaking into tears. “I could never hate you. I’ve been… I’ve been waiting for so long.”
“Waiting for what?” You hiccuped, frustration mingling with longing. Your knees pressed firmly against your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible.
“To tell you I’ve always wanted you. Even before this. When I thought you were a beta.” He took a step closer, the space between you buzzing with electricity that pulsed like a heartbeat. Just then, something in the air shifted. It was as if all the unspoken words finally collided, twisting in San’s heart until it could no longer ignore the truth standing before him. He stopped at the foot of your nest, not daring to enter unless you wanted him to. “I didn’t care about anything other than being with you…”
Your body thrummed with a mix of fear and excitement watching him step forward. You lowered your knees ignoring the way your stomach screamed and twisted in a slight burn. The longing that had been nurturing beneath your skin since you first met him. “You mean it?”
“Every fucking word,” San replied, his breath coming quick as he waited for you to grant him permission to enter. The enveloping feeling of your scent and the promise of everything he hadn’t yet explored. His fist balled slightly, trying his best not to let your heat send him into an early rut.
“Come here.” You let out a hand for him which he gladly took. Quickly lunging for you in a second. His lips found yours and his hands found your hips. He caged you onto the floor with a thump as you tipped back onto the soft plush blankets. His nose nudged yours, as he inhaled sharply, smelling the way your scent sparks with the sweetness of fruits and fresh grass, mixing into a calming nature from his scent mixing with yours. “I’m sorry.”
“D-don’t say that.” San nibbles your bottom lip before pulling away. “Don’t ever apologise for the world's mistakes. You didn’t ask to be an Omega. None of this is your fault.”
“Thank you…” You whispered, locking your lips against his once again. And finally, for the first time, it felt like you found your way to where you needed to be. At that moment, the barriers had dissolved, and all that remained was the newfound bond between you and your soulmate. A bond that had been waiting, just beneath the surface, to blossom into something beautifully and unequivocally real.
“I need you.” You beg through his desperate lips.
Your plea was music to San’s ears as he hungrily swallowed each and every noise you made. His hands roughly started to rip clothing, shredding all the fabric in his way until you were bare beneath him. Your legs opened willingly as the tingles spiked through your body, a feeling you’ve never felt before. S-San.” You managed to pull away, tugging on the end of his hair that sat on the nape of his neck. Your breath was hitched as you felt tears pool on your eyes. “I…Everything feels weird. I don’t know..wha—Shhh it's okay, I've got you.”
San laid caged gently on top of you, his voice made a sense of calmness wash over you, and little did you know he had used his alpha voice to silence the anxiety he smelt on you.
His touch became more demanding by the second, his fingers leaving a trail of fire on your skin as he growled a low rumble. "Mine," His voice deep and primal. He closed the distance between you again in an instant, his strong hands gripping your hips while his lips sealed tightly on yours.
Your breath came in short gasps as your shirt was ripped open, strips of fabric scattering across the floor. San's eyes devoured your naked body, his gaze lingering on the telltale signs of your omega nature. Your scent glands, your sweet aroma, the way you presented to him.
"San, please..." You pleaded, your voice trembling with need. You wanted this, craved San's touch, but the intensity of the moment was overwhelming.
San's lips crashed down on yours once again, silencing your further protests. His kiss was fierce and possessive, his tongue demanding entry. You moaned into his mouth, unable to resist the onslaught of pleasure. San's hands roamed freely, squeezing and kneading your sensitive nipples, drawing out little gasps and whimpers that he happily swallowed.He moved lower, inching his lips and tongue down a wet trail on your trembling body. 
He paid special attention to your neck, marking you with bites that would surely leave visible to your friends for weeks to come. But what he stopped at was your gland, inhaling sharply against your soft skin. Your hands tangled in San's hair, urging him on as he suckled and nipped at your sensitive skin. “Alpha please…”
Your confession rang in Sans ears like church bells, feeling his heart skip at the word that spilled from your delicate lips. "You're so fucking beautiful…" San growled, his voice rough with desire. He spread your legs wide, exposing your glistening pussy, already swollen with need. "And you're all mine."
You arched off the pillows as San's fingers delved into your soaked cunt, stroking and teasing your sensitive bundle of nerves. "Please, San," you begged again, their voice breathless. "I need you."
San's cock, hard and throbbing, was freed from his pants as he quickly fiddled with his belt and zipper, before he positioned himself at your entrance. "I'm gonna breed you so fucking well, my love," he promised, his eyes blazing with passion. "Gonna knot you so deep, mark you as mine."
You nodded eagerly, your body yearning for San desperately, bucking your hips against him with knitted brows. You felt San's tip slide against you, your slick coated his cock. “Hurry San, I need you so badly.”
You felt your heat surge Through you, your cramps worsening without more. But San was quick to ease your pain, sinking into your tight wet heat thrusting forward, filling you in one smooth motion. You cried out, your sensitive pussy stretching to accommodate San's thick length. San set a relentless pace, pounding into you with brute strength. His hips snapped forward, driving his cock deeper with each thrust. Your moans filled the room, your fingers digging into San's shoulders as they rode the waves of pleasure, feeling tears prick on the corners of your eyes. “Fuck San, Fuck so b-big…argh.”
"That's it, baby," San grunted, his voice strained. "Feel me, feel how deep I am inside you. my fat cock snug inside your tight little pussy."
Your body clenched around San's cock, your orgasm building rapidly. San's fingers found their sensitive bud, massaging it firmly as he continued to thrust. “You wanna cream around my dick baby? I need to feel you clench around me.”
"Oh fuck, I'm close!" You cried out, tears rolling down your face, staining your flushed cheeks, your body tensing as your heat finally started to subside.
San's own release was imminent. He withdrew almost entirely before slamming back into you, his cock swelling as he reached the point of release. "Cum for me, my love," he commanded, his voice thick with need.
Your body exploded in a cascade of pleasure, yout pussy milking San's cock as they cried out his name begging for him to claim you. “Alpha please, mark me.. please please please.”
San's growl was guttural as he snarled against your neck. His hips jerked uncontrollably, baring his teeth on your gland, sinking his fangs into you. Claiming you. He filled you with his hot load as he groaned against your flesh. San cock twitched and pulsed, knotting and swelling deep inside your willing hole. You laid entangled, breathless and satisfied, in the aftermath. He finally unlatched his teeth lapping up your wound with his tongue  Swiping away all the blood. With San's cock still twitched inside you, his knot keeping you joined you finally felt like you could breathe.
"I love you…" San whispered your name, his voice tender. "My beautiful omega."
You couldn't help but smile, feeling a sense of relief and contentment. "I love you too, San. My alpha."
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