#No hormones is a given they're not even allowed to use those

[applejarjar]

Food product: 'sugar free' 'non-gmo' 'gluten free' 'natural' 'organic' 'no nitrites/nitrates' 'no hormones'

*Me foaming at the mouth*: shut up shut up shUT UP SHUT UP

[castlebyersafterdark]

'using my own sexuality against me when they're supposedly propping up a gay couple as a hobby interest through a fandom, but judging those who are interested in authenticity and the full spectrum of what relationships and 'shipping' means in fandom. Like. How dare. Hahaha'

i have realised, since being away from this fandom and coming back, that its likely there is something deeper at play here than puritanism or pro censorship. i think sexual repression and female fan shame plays a part, but these fans' attraction to/desire for/enchantment by these characters shouldnt be underestimated. the fans who gatekeep byler will also tend to have parasocial relationships with the show and perhaps the cast too, and i think at the core it's less a case of 'ugh theyre too young for sex', but rather a projected shame about their own ungovernable sexual desire combined with a sense of deep, deep jealousy. they are guarding the characters (and actors)... essentially saying: you are not allowed to think sexually about these characters, only i am (in secret). but i can't stop you, so instead i will shame your sexual attraction itself.

once i saw fandom as a kind of relationship between fan and character/actor (at the most extreme end, im sure there are fans who are genuinely convinced they are/could be noah and finn's friends or partners, or perhaps even the characters') it made so much sense that jealousy and shame would be at the heart of things. after all, this many young people surely cant be antisex - western culture hasnt reached that place yet, and they are are teens raging with hormones who spend a lot of time thinking about two rather handsome young men in romantic scenarios. im supposed to believe all these people genuinely arent fantasising sexually about byler? nahhhhh.

but a jealous lover situation? it all makes sense once you see it.

A very interesting perspective. Not one I typically consider for the characters themselves, sometimes I tend to think that in regards to some of the behavior I've seen re: the actors. But definitely interesting. Not much insight I have to add but your points are something to absolutely think about and consider. I mean, in all honesty, I do sometimes feel nervous saying certain things about the actors for fear of people jumping at me as if I don't adore the actors, too. Just in a well-adjusted way where I know I don't know them and never will know them and never want to know them. I tend to lean into humor and silly jokes and sometimes I tend to hold back because I don't want people to get upset and misinterpret that I'm just playing around about celebrities I genuinely enjoy because it's harmless. So I can see this extending to characters, too. A protectiveness, a feeling of ownership.

I saw that on twitter for another fandom, a lot of fighting over people's different interpretations of characters, like taking personal offense if they were written in fics certain ways or paired up with the wrong character or given headcanons another fan didn't want for them. A protectiveness. It was less anti-sex and more hmm. Projection based in-fighting. It was really weird. But I can see the correlation in what you're getting at here.

Here's another thought that always makes me laugh about the fandom dynamics though - since my focus and biggest interest in fandom is fanfiction. If everyone is soooo anti-sex and against spicy fic, why do those fics get big numbers of readers? Sure , ao3 is used by a lot of people who don't even participate in tumblr/twitter fandom at all, but E rated fics, even with how few there are in the Byler fandom, still get a lot of clicks sooooo. Some people are genuinely lying and are hypocrites 😌

[windwardstar]

So my two year mark on T is coming up in the next few days and while I will be writing up a longer post about all my experiences later, I do want to say this:

It is never too late to start hormones, you'll see amazing changes no matter how old you are when you start. And I know how hard it is to wait.

I know a lot of those starting hrt later in life stories are from people who didn't realize they were trans until later. And maybe you're thinking it's great for them but that you know you're trans now. You know the options for hormones and gender affirming care exist and you want it but just aren't allowed.

And I'm here to say i know how hard it is to wait.

I knew I wasn't a girl at 5. I wasn't allowed to not be though. Part of the requirements for stopping therapy in elementary school was that I learned to stop saying it. I realized being trans was a thing in high school even if i didnt know nonbinary was an option. I was given room to be tomboy irl and not-a-girl-not-a-boy in my mind. And then I went to live with different family members who expressed violently anti-trans beliefs and any social transitions I did had to be limited to safe spaces, where the countdown to eacaping them also became a countdown to being able to transition socially and medically. I wasn't able to move out and into my own place until I was 25. I didn't get to start T until I was 29 because of insurances. And had to wait until this past year for top surgery and hysto. And am still waiting for bottom surgery.

And I still wish I could have gotten on T earlier. That I could have been able to transition in all the ways I wanted earlier. But they're absolutely worth doing it now because it means I get to be me now. I'm still read as a girl 100% of the time but I feel better about my own body and so many aspects of my dysphoria have decreased. There are things that haven't changed but what has has been entirely worth it.

The wait has also allowed me to build up a history of having a consistent gender identity. It has allowed me to figure out exactly what I want and know down to my bones what the right choices for my transition are so that when I speak with the doctors with other people I have the weight of a decade+ of certainty backing up my choices. And being 30 rather than 13 people are more likely to listen to me and trust that I know myself. It allowed me to save up money and to find a job with good insurance to facilitate my transition.

You shouldn't have to wait. Whatever your age as soon as you know what the right choice is for you, you should be able to make it. And other people stopping you because they think they know better is infuriating and can make you feel hopeless. But one day you will get to transition in all the ways you want.

Bide your time. Use it to figure out what you want. To figure out what you have to do in order to get what you want. To save money. To identify the hoops. Find places where you can be yourself.

I know it's hard to wait. I still struggle with the grief over having to. Wonders of what my life could have been like. But I do know what it is like to finally get to transition and all the joy I've experienced over the past two years, that no matter how long I have to wait for more it'll never be too late because any time I have to experience this joy is worth it.

It's hard to wait, but please stick around and wait. It'll be worth it once you get the chance. I promise.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #91

Today is day 3 of soup brain. But it's really my own fault. I ended up going to bed a couple hours too late last night, and waking up early to go to therapy, and in so doing, getting only 6 hours of sleep. I used to be "able to function" on very little sleep when I was in college. But "able to function" is in quotes, because in those days, I lacked any real sense of self-awareness regarding how deficits in my ability to care for myself impacted my ability to manage my own emotions and thus how I showed up in the world and functioned in my relationships with other people. I was in denial about the extent to which I was affected by sleep deprivation, and that denial manifested as total obliviousness to those effects and an inability to see the the impact, instead assuming that being depressed, anxious, and irritable were simply facets of my personality.

You know what sleep is for, yeah? Well. For myriad reasons, you can't answer me. Maybe you do, or maybe you don't know what it's for. But I like explaining things, so I'm gonna write about it either way; too bad. 😜🤣

It begins with brain science. I like to affectionately refer to brains as "electric meatballs"; they're essentially big electrochemical lumps of fat stuck behind a bone wall. And there's A LOT going on all up in there. A brain is made of specialized cells that connect to other specialized cells by branching out every which way. These cells communicate to one another with electrochemical signals. At any given time, there's enough electricity going on in the brain that we can detect and measure it just by wearing fancy equipment on our scalps, like EEG caps and stuff. Nowadays, we even have toys that can be clumsily controlled by brainwaves. It's wild stuff.

At the most basic level, our thoughts and emotions are influenced by how effectively our brains produce and use various different kinds of hormones, nutrients, and neurotransmitters. Our thoughts and emotions also influence which kinds of neurotransmitters end up getting produced, which ones flow where, which cells are most receptive to different kinds of electrochemical stimulation, and all that jazz.

With all that stuff going on, the spaces between our neurons can get clogged up with various kinds of debris. And that's a problem, because this debris interferes with electrochemical signaling, interferes with our brain's ability to make new connections between neurons, interferes with the ability of oxygen, nutrients, and fluids to get to where they need to get. Naturally, this has negative impacts on our ability to think logically, to regulate our emotions, to learn, to use our body and our senses, and to feel good in general. And what's more, a brain that's all gunked up and filthy with debris is a brain that is more likely to default to (and fail to resist succumbing to) the instinctual behaviors written into our amygdala.

So when we reach the appropriate section of our sleep cycle, the spaces between our neurons expand and our whole entire electric meatball is flushed clean with cerebrospinal fluid so that our brains can once more function in the way that it's supposed to. Because if debris keeps piling up, eventually it starts to interfere with even more important functions than our higher ones - think stuff like "there's so much debris that it's interfering with the brain signals that cause the heart to beat", and then we end up taking a premature dirt nap.

So ah… the negative impacts of lack of sleep? That's absolutely NOT a "willpower" thing. That is literally a chemical and physics thing. It is a fluid dynamics thing. No amount of "willpower" is ever gonna make water flow properly through a tunnel if that tunnel is clogged up with trash, logs, dead leaves, and rotting fish, right? It's the same deal with brains - the best a person can do if they've not allowed their brain to properly clean itself is be in denial about how negatively impacted they are as they run around being a miserable fucking crankypants with everyone they meet and acting like that's normal even though it's not.

What's super baffling is the number of people in my world who STILL think that sleep is for the "weak", or that sleep is not in any way essential, or that they should be unaffected by missing a few hours. Sleep is not a fucking luxury; it is a BASIC NEED. People don't prove how "tough" or "hardworking" or "morally superior" they are by bragging about how long they can go without sleep, or about how little sleep they think they can "function" on; all it does is betray their ignorance about basic biological, physical, and chemical principles. And it's absolutely fucking bananas - B, A, N, A, N, A, S.

But wait! It gets even hairier!

So there are a couple of hormones responsible for the sleep/wake cycle. The primary hormone is melatonin. And while the production of melatonin is significantly influenced by light (blue light will interfere with its production, for example), the fact remains that under ordinary circumstances, melatonin is run on a fairly strict timer. This timer is called the circadian rhythm. And it's FUCKING IMPORTANT, because going to sleep before the melatonin is produced and then waking up earlier than usual interferes with the whole "brain cleaning" cycle thing. And staying awake past the production of melatonin ALSO interferes with the whole "brain cleaning" cycle thing. And what you get as a result of this is that even a deviation of 30 minutes from a person's typical sleep time, in either direction, ends up causing the "brain cleaning" cycle to not do its thing as efficiently as it should. The cumulative effects of this over time are catastrophic. We're talking things like, "hormone disruption" and "brain damage", and all kinds of other nasty stuff.

What's more, if you're dehydrated, your body fluids are gonna flow like sludge and not do their jobs properly, and that includes stuff like blood and cerebrospinal fluid. Put it this way: would you rather clean your house's gutters with water or with molasses? 'Cuz I'll tell you what, molasses sure as heck ain't gonna do the damn job. So how well do you suppose your cerebrospinal fluid is gonna dislodge debris if it's flowing like molasses because you ain't drank enough water? Tell you what, it ain't gonna be pretty. And sure you'll sleep, but you're still gonna feel like crap when you wake up.

And don't even get me STARTED on sleep apnea and the hows and whys surrounding the ways it fucks people up over time. It's a huge freaking mess. Untreated sleep apnea kills people because the constant need to partially wake interrupts the brain cleaning cycle, which means that it never gets cleaned properly if at all, which causes debris buildup, which interferes with the flow of brain chemicals and electricity, and all of this is damaging.

Depending on how bad it is, it can take weeks to recover from a single night of disrupted sleep. So uh… yeah. If you wonder why I get so pissed when I think about your weeklong stint in that damnable library in which you refused to eat, drink, and sleep in favor of hyperfocusing on reading a bunch of wildly inaccurate and outdated books? Don't wonder, because THIS IS WHY. You CANNOT do this to yourself and then still expect yourself to be able to freaking function!! No matter HOW you were modified, no matter HOW efficiently your body supposedly runs, THIS IS STILL NOT HOW PHYSICS AND CHEMISTRY WORK.

Goddammit, Sephiroth, war hero or not, YOU ARE STILL A SQUISHY MAMMAL. Like LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN, you are an overcomplicated monkey with WAY too much anxiety. Even if you NEVER treat yourself like some kind of automaton ever again, it'll STILL be too soon. And at that, EVEN AUTOMATONS REQUIRE REGULAR MAINTENANCE. You somehow managed to treat yourself as though you are worth less than even an inanimate object, and then you STILL expected yourself to function! I love you and all, but still, there is not a large enough number of times I can ask you "what the fuck??" in response to this and have ANY answer you give me feel satisfactory!

For fuck's sake, PLEASE promise me that you'll never do that to yourself again. Someone with as much raw power as you CANNOT afford to go into meltdown like that. Someone with as much raw power as you CANNOT afford to go into a mental breakdown! You CANNOT afford to be triggered SO HARD that you dissociate and mindlessly follow your instinctual behaviors! You of all people HAVE to make sure your self-care game is on point, because if you don't, then like ANY HUMAN BEING, you're not going to be able to keep your shit together when things get painful and weird! You of all people HAVE to make sure that you actually acknowledge, feel, process, and get support for your emotions instead of denying them and bottling them up, because if you don't, you're gonna explode later, like ANY HUMAN BEING.

I know you have a LONG history of being mistreated by other people, but Sephiroth, that doesn't mean you gotta freaking mirror them to the point that you become your own enemy! You have a lot of power, but you still are subject to human emotional limitations, so you HAVE to treat yourself with kindness and respect, because when someone with an exceptionally able body like you gets so overwhelmed that you lash out, other people end up paying the price in far more devastating and permanent ways than what is typical! You HAVE to act responsibly with your power, and part of that responsibility is making sure you aren't complicit in pushing yourself to the point that you break!

…So don't do stuff like that anymore, okay? You gotta do better next time. You deserve better than that. And the people around you deserve better than that, too. Use what I wrote to motivate you to treat sleep as though it's important. Because it is. I'll try to do a better job of treating it like it's important, too - starting with tonight. I promise. So let's do it together, okay?

Speaking of which, I'm gonna go do that. Because, despite what this huge infodump might seem to imply, my brain is still soup, and I gotta do my best to rectify that so I don't end up accidentally taking it out in the people around me like some kind of confused derpasaurus.

I love you and I'll write to you again very soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[itsaship-literally]

My god, this is going to sound SO silly but I NEED to vent or I'm going to explode.

Do not misunderstand me, I don't want to sound like one of those Beetlebabes haters who use age to complain about the ship even if it's meaningless, but seeing people EXPLICITLY sexualize underage Lydia is TRAUMATING to say the least.

Like, I'm not here to complain about these people because it would be very naive of me to think that they're going to stop because of me or any nonsense like that but... How do you guys usually deal with that? Really, I don't know what to do or think about the situation, I just know that it's bothering me a LOT. I know, I know, it's silly to care about it because I absolutely can't do anything about it, but it still hurts.

I'm sorry, I don't mean to exaggerate or anything, I don't mean to upset people either, but god, I feel so gross seeing this and at the same time I feel guilty for worrying too much or whatever… I saw that in yours blog you mention that you support ship in a sexual way when Lydia is older (Or something like that, forgive my poor memory), so how do you usually react/deal with this type of content? Or does it just not bother you?

I apologize for the outburst, but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to have a nice experience in the fandom because of this... I just arrived, I don't want to leave because of this, but it's making it IMPOSSIBLE to enjoy. I feel like a dirty pedophile just for shipping, so I think seeing posts like this only makes it worse.

Um, anyway, I appreciate the attention :)

You know what, you bring up a good topic here. Before we start. I don't kink shame people because it's just not me. However! I had moments when I was younger (early 20's) that freaked me out when it came to over-sexualizing things (in my case it was bellydancers because that was my hobby at the time) but after a while, I sorta just stopped worrying about it because like you said, it won't change how people feel about their proclivities. The same goes for fandom. I ick after things too. (Example: the Dora the Explorer stuff. holy shit) Today, I learn that the best way to go about it is to not look for it. Don't seek the stuff that ick's ya. I don't much care for baby toon Lyds in adult situations but I can separate the idea that Lydia is an actual real person. I can take a story as just that. A story. As for art, I do not like Loli stuff. It's an ick for me. But I also don't judge a person for enjoying it. I would prefer to avoid it and I set my boundaries with my friends accordingly.

Back to Lydia in the Beetlejuice fandom!

Let's say you are a Shipper

Age of consent is a big deal for most here, including myself, but we are also realistic in the sense that many don't think that people give teens enough credit for their own biological functions. Let's take a step back to reality for a moment. 100%, It's not right for a real-life person to act on things like taking advantage of youth and naivete. However, it can not be dismissed that many people in their youth made choices based on their overactive hormones. I recall being one such teen where I allowed myself to act out in ways that, as an adult, I CRINGE at. To have Lydia as a 16-18 year-old act out with an undead creep feels plausible. Does everyone here feel that's a comfortable read? No, not at all. Many, like me, prefer to have an older, more informed Lydia make choices that work for her. Now about Beetlejuice. First off. He's a creep. If it's got tits or whatever suits his fancy, he's gonna jump on it. He's always been that way in media. Except with Lydia. His respect for her, and his treatment of her have always been different from other people. He'll probably take any advantage given to him and if his death was during a plague-riddled time then his view of human women could easily be skewed. Again it comes to how comfortable you are with his characterization. Do you want him chasing a 12-year-old, a 16-year-old, or an adult? Do you think he would go for body type? Do you think he would choose feelings over physical desires? Your best bet in navigating the whole Betelyds/Beetlebabes dynamic comes from understanding yourself. Are you confident in separating your choices in romance from alternate depictions? Do you prefer a more Ace approach of no romance/sexuality? Do you like a soft romance with no raunch? Do you want sexuality and passion in a more adult setting? Check with tags. Look for underage warnings. Talk to writers and artists to see what they do. Skim over or remove yourself from places that ick ya. Ask questions of yourself and others. There is no harm in discovering your boundaries and respecting those who have set theirs.

Now let's say you are a Friendshipper only.

You want Beej and Lyds to be pals with a slight affection for each other that defies a normal buddy pal. Maybe they have something that can't be defined as a friend but also not a romantic relationship. I like to consider this Babes Adjacent. They are not romantically linked but they are bonded. Soul mates without being physical mates. We have plenty of Babes who love friendship just as much. Some prefer to be called non-shippers, and others don't really care. They just wanna vibe. Some of them like Kid Lyds and her ghostly Boo. They support and care and protect each other like there is no tomorrow. It's painfully sweet and heartbreakingly loving. So many of us need that in our lives. Unconditional support and protection from things that make us hurt. In this case search for the & and not the / if you can. If folks are willing to send me art and fics where this bond is emphasized, I'd appreciate it. I admit I have a fear of finding a fic of someone who is gonna freak when they see my screen name and go "Noooooooo not a Beetlebabe!". That's a stress I don't enjoy. I just wanna vibe and watch these two dorks be happy with each other. Now to address your last fear, that you feel like a dirty p-word. All you gotta do is know where you stand on your attraction. It comes down to knowing yourself. Personally, I like an older man and older lady (Bi-mama here) but I don't shy away from stories with younger characters. I don't squick because I know my preferences are not reflected in getting lost in a story. With all the love and support I can send ya through the blog. Please don't feel ashamed for enjoying a ship (friendship or relationship). Just set your preferences and find your inner confidence. Stay polite to those who have different levels of shippiness. You can navigate the ship. I believe in you.

[tookishcombeferre]

Mentopolis Theory: Part 1

Hi! 

I have finally managed to have time to watch the newest Dimension 20 - Mentopolis, and (of course) my autistic ass is obsessed with Mr. The Fix. 

Thus, it is theory time! However, beware, there are many spoilers below the cut.

So, my theory is that The Fix IS Elias Hodge (and, to a greater or lesser extent, we are our own hyperfixations.) My reasons for believing this are as follows: 

1) The Fix, like Elias, was simply a cog in a much larger machine (M. Bition and Henry of Gobstopper Industries play the same role in each of their lives.) 

2) A person's focus (fixation) is where their mind is occupied at any given time. 

3) Elias starts to take on the traits of the different cognitive functions The Fix interacts with as the series progresses. 

To address point one, the story of Elias and The Fix directly parallel each other. The Fix, as instructed by M. Bition, destroys and/or detains all thoughts that are not completely centered on the goal. Thus, The Fix basically becomes a background boogie man that no one really knows at all. He feels nothing. He puts his nose to the grind and does his job because that's what he has been told to do. 

Sound familiar? 

In the same way, Elias, instructed by Henry of Gobstopper Industries, focuses on the task that he has been given. He becomes a background character in the city in which he lives. No one sees him. No one loves him. No one really even talks to him apart from his boss. Elias feels nothing. Elias only pays attention to his work. He puts his nose to the grind and does his job because that's what he has been told to do. Elias does all this because his focus keeps his mind only on the tasks he has been assigned. Elias' focus is on his work and nothing else. 

If The Fix is Elias, then it makes perfect sense why Madame Loathing says that The Fix gives the children false hope as well as why she would say that "focusing on her only makes her stronger." Then, Brennan actually calls out this parallel when The Fix and Elias are falling out the window together. I believe Brennan says something about how The Fix actually sees himself as Elias. I finally found the quote: " You jumped through the glass. There's a scar on your face. You feel some connection to something bigger and more important than yourself." If all of this is true, what Elias/ The Big Guy focuses on in his own mind is what gets strong and nurtured. The Fix constantly destroying intrusive thoughts is what he's there for - Elias needs to do that.  Nobody wants to lick gasoline off their fingers, or eat leaves off the sidewalk, or steal birthday cake. Ya know? Like, those things are bad for us and for other people. So, in that way, The Fix does aid Elias in being human. He keeps him alive and in the good graces of others. However, The Fix slowly loses himself as Elias Hodge does because of the way Elias allows/ the world encourages Elias' "Fix" to be lose focus on what makes him human. 

This leads directly into point two: A person's focus (fixation) is where their mind is occupied at any given time. Elias' focus is perpetually narrowed in on his job. Cortisol is the only thing his brain can find because he isn't allowed to focus on (or have) dopamine, endorphins, and especially oxytocin. Coffee is everywhere, but pleasure is nowhere to be found. They're in a prohibition on oxytocin! That's the hormone that is the basis for all human connection. 

The Fix literally destroys and/or detains things that could give Elias any hope for these pleasure hormones. Indulging his childhood interests, however briefly, in Madame Loathing's orphanage is the closest Elias can get to pleasure and positive feeling. He can't kill these interests, but he also can't indulge them either. This means that Elias has no hobbies. The Fix only goes to Sugah's to destroy criminals because, as we discover, no one, apart from the orphans, even really know that he's real! The Fix is completely and solely occupied on Elias' work because that's where Elias himself is focused. Thus, The Fix and Elias are each other in the sense that Elias' focus on his work is where is mind is occupied. Elias' isn't allowed to wander, and The Fix is strictly controlled by M. Bition. This leads to Elias forgetting to focus on important things like listening to impulses that will protect him, paying attention to those impulses and desires, receiving pleasure from and giving pleasure to others, indulging our passions new and old, learning and embracing new things, and listening to the too small voices that tell us right from wrong. 

In part 2, I will break apart the Fix's relationship with each of the other characters and discuss point three in more detail. 

[falderaletcetera]

today's sleep-deprived thought (family time is over, I'm still in the initial crashing-and-recovering stage, there's some messy sleep schedule happening here in the interim) is that I do wish I were a man.

and that's not the end of the conversation, not for everyone. "if you wish you're a man, then you are one" is useful trans 101 but I've seen too many nonbinary folks who just... have that wishing as part of their experience. and I think there can be a hunger for the kind of affirmation that (I think) some trans men get, when they "pass", when they're in safe environments. I wouldn't dare pretend it's easier. but.

maybe I'm just not far enough along yet to know which way I want to go. I've spent so long at the starting block squinting ahead and trying to plan my route, and I don't think I know myself well enough for that to have been enough.

maybe some of it's just that throwing the roadmap aside means you need to find your own ways to affirm yourself, your own things to celebrate. maybe it's just that I'm still caught in not understanding what nonbinary gender is - I'm someone who generally wants to understand the shape of things, the systems and the reasons, and everything I've seen suggests that gender is a debate that maybe isn't worth having, when there are people who would be hurt by trying to pin it down.

or maybe I am a man, and there's just so much baggage in that, so many (shitty) expectations and so little chance I'll be seen as one without a buttload of hormones in me and, frankly, significant changes in my behaviour too, that I can't approach it head on.

it's a lot. and it's kinda scary. (I share that with myself at sixteen. if they were right all along, that'll be some kind of funny.)

but this sleep-deprived thought is reassuring me that this is a step in the right direction. if this is what I need in order to get there, then... waiting won't help. I have to take the first step and feel out the second.

of course, given the state of the uk and the world (and my life) I may never be able to reach a point that feels like it's enough. or if I reach it, I may not be allowed to stay there. and at least I'll have that in common with a lot of other folks, living and historical.

it would be simpler, maybe, if I knew I were a man right off the bat. but it would be even simpler if I had claws and fangs and could burn down the cities of those who wished me and mine harm, so, y'know, there's a bit of a hierarchy going on here.

(note to self: story where someone is stuck on an endless waiting list and so transforms themself into a dragon instead. I think it would be cathartic to write. I think I'll need it before the end.)

I'm doing a thing soon and it scares the living daylights out of me. I'm doing a thing soon and it's not going to be nearly enough. but it's the right move, or as close to it as I know how to manage right now. it's a step in roughly the right direction. and if I forget that tomorrow, in all my worry, in all my wanting things to be easier, I bloody well hope I can make my way back here quickly.

[gallagherwitt]

Reality check: Anti-trans propaganda

The right is going hard at trans people right now, and in particular, they're trying to vilify the whole LGBTQ+ community as brainwashing kids into becoming trans, chopping off healthy body parts, etc.

It's time for a reality check to separate some facts from fear-mongering propaganda.

1. MYTH: DOCTORS ARE MUTILATING CHILDREN AND CALLING IT "GENDER AFFIRMING SURGERY"!

All it takes to debunk this nonsense is to understand how difficult it is for trans *adults* to access gender affirming procedures. No one is getting these surgeries without jumping through myriad hoops, and that process often takes *years*. Adults can't just walk into a surgeon's office and schedule one a surgery. Even when they do get approved for the procedures, many surgeons and specialists have lengthy waiting lists. In fact, just getting in for a consultation can take months if not years, never mind actually having surgery. That's for *ADULTS*. There is no express lane for children.

2. MYTH: CHILDREN ARE BEING ALLOWED TO PICK THEIR GENDER AND MAKE IRREVERSIBLE CHANGES TO THEIR BODIES!

The vast majority of kids transition socially, not medically. When many people think of transitioning, they think someone is being given hormone treatments and surgery. While this is certainly part of the transition process for some people, it's often far less dramatic. Socially transitioning is more common than many people realize, and even adults don't always go the medical route. Just changing a name/pronoun, styling their hair and clothing differently, etc., can be enough to curtail the gender dysphoria and let someone live authentically.

Especially for younger kids, transitioning is nothing irreversible: name/pronouns, hair and clothing, etc. If they realize down the line that this is not what they want -- which both kids and adults sometimes do -- they can course correct without issue.

But you HAVE heard of kids getting medical transitions, right? Kids being given hormones? Of course you have. Let's talk about them.

3. MYTH: CHILDREN ARE BEING FED HORMONES THAT PERMANENTLY DAMAGE THEIR BODIES.

Literally the only medical transition for kids is puberty blockers, and those are nothing new. They have been used for decades to treat precocious puberty, so the risks and side effects are well-documented. It's not some brand new experimental treatment that doctors have started injecting into kids for fun and profit. I knew someone on puberty blockers for precocious puberty in junior high, and that was in the mid-1990s. It's been around for a long time.

It also isn't something they just toss to a kindergartener who says "I'm a boy" on a whim. In most cases, for a minor to receive this kind of treatment, their gender dysphoria poses a greater risk to their life and health than do the puberty blockers (i.e., they are at significant risk of self-harm or suicide). It's not for kids who go through a brief phase, it's for those whose dysphoria is, as mental health professionals describe it, "Insistent, persistent, and consistent."

4. MYTH: ALLOWING A CHILD TO TAKE HORMONES MEANS ALLOWING THEM TO MAKE A LONG TERM DECISION BEFORE THEY'RE OLD ENOUGH!

We've all heard the comparisons here. If a kid is too young to drive, vote, sign a contract, or whatever milestone someone picks, then they're clearly too young to decide what gender they are for the rest of their lives. Therefore they shouldn't be allowed to use hormones.

The reality is actually quite the opposite. Puberty blockers are not the person making a decision to alter their body forever. All they do is delay the onset of secondary sex characteristics, which ARE irreversible. Rather than making a decision now, the blockers *buy the person time* before making that decision. They allow the person to work through their dysphoria and determine if a permanent transition really is the right direction for them.

For example, if a trans boy starts having his period, this can worsen his gender dysphoria at the worst possible time -- while he's still trying to get a handle on his identity, his body, etc. Puberty blockers simply postpone this development and give him time to decide what direction he needs to go.

5. TRUTH: EVERY COMMUNITY HAS BAD ACTORS.

Are there exceptions to what I've said above? Doctors acting unscrupulously? Adults grooming kids? Of course. You'll find them in every demographic and community. No one is defending them.

But they also do not DEFINE that community. The broader community in this context -- queer people, parents of queer children, medical professionals who work with trans patients, etc. -- is as committed to protecting and doing right by kids as you are. The way trans kids are able to transition these days is not the result of evil mustache-twirling villains, but of people who are far more familiar with the subject and all its nuance than those who just scream about "they want to mutilate children!"

On a personal note, I know a number of parents who have trans kids. They didn't brainwash or groom their children -- they LISTENED to them. And they sought professional guidance from people who UNDERSTOOD them. In at least three cases I can think of offhand, the parents knew their children were different somehow from the time they were very young. They couldn't necessarily put their finger on it, but they could tell *something* was going on. When the kids came out to them later, the reaction wasn't some gleeful "EXXXCELLENT, OUR EVIL PLAN WORKED!" It was, "Okay, NOW the last few years make sense."

All of this is a long-winded way of saying that trans people and their families have an in-depth understanding of what it means to be trans, how and why people transition, and why they support their kids in identifying as trans. They're not trying to harm kids. They're trying to do quite the opposite.

So when you hear people talking about "mutilating children" and "grooming children into not knowing what gender they are"...

Stop and take a breath.

Stop and think.

Ask yourself, when it comes to trans people, should you listen to the people who hate them?

Or listen to trans people themselves and those who love them?

[aikoiya]

Hey, friend, I've seen some of your posts about trans kids transitioning and just thought I'd give you a bit of context as to what that's actually like. This ask was made in good-faith so I'm asking that you please avoid harassing me or responding to it hatefully. This is going to be a bit of a long ask, but I think it may at the very least be an interesting read.

No trans kid (by which I mean, a transgender minor, under the age of 18) is given irreversible gender-change medical treatment. Most children aren't accepted by their parents as transgender, but those who do are just permitted to socially transition. This can look like going by a different name and/or pronouns, or presenting themselves differently. This is, of course, reversible - at any point, the kid can return to using their old name, pronouns, and presentation, with no harm done.

There are some gender-change medical treatments a kid can receive. It is important to know that no kid can receive gender-change treatment without parental consent. Additionally, a kid can only go on puberty blockers if a trained medical professional diagnoses the child with gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is the scientific term for when your gender doesn't match up with your sex. While it's not seen in every trans person, it is a prerequisite for children (and many adults) receiving gender-change treatments [source].

If a trans kid reaches the age of puberty, they can discuss being put on puberty blockers. Puberty blockers are hormonal treatments that prevent a kid from from going through puberty, and are utilized by non-trans kids with various health problems as well. They have no health risks outside of those that are inherent to any medication, and are reversible. If the child decides that they aren't trans, they can go off of the puberty blockers and undergo puberty as usual, albeit a little late.

The next step for a trans kid may be hormone replacement therapy (HRT). You may have seen this before referred to as "going on estrogen" or "going on E" for trans girls, or as "going on testosterone" or "going on T" for trans boys. Not all trans kids are going to want HRT, but some will. HRT is also, mostly, reversible. Going on HRT leads to gradual changes, and it takes months or years for the changes to go into effect. There are some changes that form later in the process that irreversible, but if a trans kid later decided in adulthood they weren't trans, these changes wouldn't stop them from detransitioning. And, to reiterate, the only way anyone under age 18 could get these hormones is with parental consent. The last step of the medical transition is gender-affirming surgeries, often referred to as "top surgery" and "bottom surgery". These are not reversible in the traditional sense - however, it is always possible to have the surgeries in the opposite direction. It is very, very rare, for anyone under the age of 18 to have any of these surgeries, and only if a medical professional deems it necessary. The very large majority of trans kids can't undergo any of these surgeries until age 18.

So, in summary, no kids are medically transitioning before age 18. Children are socially transitioning, and all that means is that they go by a different name, pronouns, and presentation.

The number of transgender people who detransition isn't solidly known, but the most commonly cited source is that only 1% of trans people ever end up detransitioning. Some sources I've seen have them up to 3%, but I haven't seen any greater than that in my research. Most people who detransition do so because of people's negative beliefs, not because they don't think they're actually trans [source].

[content warning: suicide]

Transgender kids one of the highest suicide rates out of any demographic - it is estimated that 82% of trans kids have considered suicide, and 40% have attempted to do so [source]. Suicidality is decreased is trans kids (and trans people in general) who are allowed to transition, even just socially. Letting kids transition is reversible and leads to massive increases in their quality of life. And besides - any of these changes are much more reversible than suicide.

Having the belief that trans kids shouldn't be allowed to transition actively harms children, regardless of whether they're trans or not. It's also harmful towards transgender adults. I'd ask that you please think about what I've said, do some research from unbiased sources, and stop perpetuating beliefs that can hurt people which aren't backed in fact.

My DMs and asks (including anon) are open if you have more questions. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this, and I wish you the best 😊

MORE SOURCES

Quick read about this subject that goes in a bit more detail than I did

A medical institute's FAQ on the matter

A scientific article about children detransitioning

A scientific study about the mental health effects of trans kids being permitted to transition

Another article about trans children

Another scientific article about trans kids

Thank you for your time!

I actually appreciate that you are giving this ask in good faith & I see that your intent isn't to harass, but to educate.

And I thank you for the positive intent, but I am going to have to disagree with you that no child gets transitioned under the age of 18. And I also disbelieve the idea that so few regret the change. And I can certainly believe that at least some detransition due to not being accepted, but the fact of the matter is that we are currently in a time where people are the most accepting of such things.

Have you ever listened to detransitioners or specifically sought out interviews where they regret it because they felt taken advantage of? Specifically ones that did it because it wasn't what they thought it'd be? I just... And the idea that those below 18 don't get assigned gender-affirming care is incorrect.

Blair White - Detransitioners "My Penis Is Gone Forever & I Regret It"

Chloe Cole At Congress

The Dark Truth About Famous Trans Kids

Grossly Negligent Transgender Treatment

Forcing Kids To Transition

Chloe got a double mastectomy as 15 & she detransitioned at 17, which means that, unfortunately yes, it does happen. People do transition kids below 18. And, she said that she was affirmed. Affirmation doesn't equate to happiness. Just as transitioning doesn't equate to happiness.

And, there's a lot of toxicity in Jazz Jennings' relationship with her mother.

And, there is documented evidence that kids even as young as 4 are being transitioned. Have you seen the movie Transhood? It portrays it as good, but just think about Avery & Phoenix. Especially Phoenix, who later went back to being a boy.

Just because you don't want it to be true, doesn't mean it isn't.

The fact of the matter is that there are so many predators out there who have no issues with taking advantage of these kids' confusion all to make money.

Because it makes money. Like, a lot of money.

You should also do research on John Money & the David Reimer case. It's sickening.

I know that the sources aren't verified, but the evidence is there.

[lionsoulhomestead]

Hello! This is Saphire, we believe her to be an Alpine dairy goat (she could be something else or a mix) anyways she should roughly produce 2 gallons per day if our breed guess is correct and at her peak of milking. For those of you whom don't know goats usually don't have the exact same amount of milk production the entire time they're in milk, some have more after their first or even second kidding (kidding means they had babies). My biggest point to this post is that goat milk is naturally lactose free, yeah, you heard me right lactose free. I personal have had babies that were born seemingly lactose intolerant, they were given soy formula by the advice of their pediatrician. Well as I got older and did my research soy is the plant equivalent of one of women's natural hormones estrogen - in some cases it can cause male humans sperm count to drop, and if prolonged use it can cause infertility. My son used soy formula for roughly the entire 1st year of his life, I now know it "could" have an effect on his body. I wish goat milk would have been around more so than (in my area) and that I would have known about its benefits. Any mothers needing to use formula, might want to try to buy local goat milk or look into if powdered goat milk could be a good option for their child even if were not in a formula shortage by the time, you're reading this. I think all of us mothers or fathers agree we just want to raise our children well and give them all of the best possibilities to grow strong and healthy! I'll leave you with this last thought, after reading this find out if its legal to sell goat milk in your county or state raw or pasteurized and if the answer is no (its illegal) think about contacting your county and state representative to change this matter. So, if were ever in a shortage again, we won't be having to scurry to possibly change a law, because it will already have been a fixed problem. Also talk to them about allowing farmers and homesteaders to be allowed to sell these products from their farm/homestead as well as farmers and flea markets, and last but not least stores and restaurants. Everyone deserves access to good quality homegrown products / byproducts from hardworking local farmers and homesteaders, together we can help each other.

Thank you for reading until the end, I truly appreciate any and all support for our homestead and other homesteads and farmers.

Have a wonderful day!

[eryiss]

Ship: Freed x Laxus

Rating: Teen

Prompt: Two Bros Chilling in A Hot Tub/Lightning Struck

Summary: Freed knew he had a lot to learn about being a professional wizard, and when he was paired up with Laxus for a mission he expected to learn a lot. He didn't expect to spend a day with him in a hot tub, and he certainly didn't expect to get an entirely unrelated education about life and about love.

Notes: Hello everyone, happy Fraxus Week. For the two bonus days, I've murged the prmopts together to make a two-shot. The second chapter will be uploaded on July the 22nd. I hope you all enjoy it, and head over to @fuckyeahfraxus to see all the other content for the event.

Links: Chapter Two ||| Event Masterlist ||| Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction

Chapter One

Year: X782

Location: Magnolia, Fiore

Professional Wizardry was still new to Freed. He hadn't wandered into the profession without the expectation that he'd be forced to do things that previously would have been unthinkable, or that his life wouldn't change entirely the moment he had joined a guild, but he felt like he was learning a new aspect to his profession every day. His expectations of the job and the reality of the job was almost entirely different, and Freed found himself enjoying the challenge.

He'd thought he'd be on missions near constantly. He'd go to some place in Fiore, use his magic to fight off a monster or dark wizard, and get paid for it. He hadn't expected there to be a community attached to it, that they'd be such a rigid tier system of missions, and how missions could be anything from finding a lost item, to being on a team attempting to disband a cult. There was so much more, and it was all fascinating.

After his eighteenth birthday three months prior, the jobs that he was allowed to accept had greatly opened up. They were more difficult, presented him with a greater threat to his life, and he was relishing the challenge. He could have gone on those missions earlier, but he much preferred working alone. While he was accepting that being in Fairy Tail meant there was a certain level of comradery with fellow guildmates, and that with that comradery there also came obligations, he didn't see the point in splitting his finances with others while he was powerful enough to perform these missions on his own and take home all the money himself.

The exception to this was Laxus Dreyar.

Master Makarov had approached Freed on his birthday with a proposition. He was worried for his grandson, wanted someone to look after him, and wondered if Freed would mind occasionally attending missions with him. He claimed that, while officially the money would be split between them, Makarov himself would make up the difference for Freed so that he would be paid in full. Freed had agreed, and that had been that.

Up until that afternoon, Freed had not gone on any missions with Laxus. They'd hardly spoken, even with Makarov's assurances that they'd get along. Freed would only be on certain missions and that afternoon's mission was apparently one of them. Makarov told Laxus Freed needed training in more advanced missions, and that he should be the one to do it. Laxus hadn't argued.

Somehow, while attending to a supposedly A-Class mission, they found themselves in Magnolia's hot spring and spa resort.

It was surveillance, so the mission stated. The Rune Army themselves had place the job, stating that they believed that members of a potential dark guild were using the site to host meetings and plan attacks. The resort had been trying to get rid of the suspects but couldn't do so without putting their staff in danger, and having an army presence suddenly appearing would tip the dark guild off and give them time to hide all evidence. The Rune Army wanted mages from Magnolia who could plausibly be in the spa for leisure time, but could also defend themselves from attack, to watch them for suspicious activity. Freed had a feeling that Laxus had taken the job to have a day relaxing in a spa, rather than because he felt the Rune Army needed the help.

None of this would have been a problem for Freed – he'd long since accepted that what constituted a job was a wide array of things – if it weren't for the elephant in the room. Or to be more precise, the Adonis wearing nothing but swimming trunks in the room.

Freed was a professional, but he was also eighteen years old and in the presence of an undeniably handsome man. Nobody, no matter their opinions on Laxus, would state that he was anything but sexy. Tall, blonde, square jawed, barrel chested with a scar over his eye and a tattoo over his pecs. His abs looked to be cut from steel and his legs comparable to tree trunks and, well, Freed was only human. Laxus was distracting.

"So," Laxus suddenly spoke as he slung a towel over his shoulder. "I don't exactly know what Gramps wants you to learn from this, but I'll try and teach ya some shit. Surveillance rule number one: fit in with yer surroundings. You seem pretty good at that."

It was only a moment, but Laxus' assessing gaze over Freed's body was exhilarating. But unprofessional.

Laxus didn't seem to notice, and instead started to walk out of the locker room they'd both changed in, and towards the area where they were meant to be watching. Freed followed, making sure to look straight ahead, rather than give into temptation to check out the man's back and his ass, and it wasn't a difficult task. While Freed had no qualms admitting his attraction to the blonde, he knew where his focus needed to be put. The mission was important, not his hormonal desire for his guildmate.

"That's the door we need to watch," Laxus said as he tilted his head to the door. Freed knew that of course, but Laxus was speaking again before he could say anything. "Pretty open room, lots of vantage points. Where should we go?"

Ah, it was a test then. Good, a worthy distraction and hopefully it would nip any ideas that Freed was in some way Laxus' inferior in the bud. Freed looked around the room quickly, glanced towards the door that they needed to keep in their sights, and quickly made a plan of how the rest of the day would go. Strategy was his strong suit.

"The hot tub," He said firmly. "At least for now."

"Why only for now?" Laxus asked. There was no condensation in his tone, he was simply asking for Freed's reasoning.

"Staying in the same place throughout the afternoon would be suspicious. We know who the suspects are, but that doesn't mean they're the only people involved, so we need to look like regular customers constantly," Freed explained, speaking quietly as they walked further into the room. "As we've only just got here, it makes sense for us to use a facility instantly. Going to sit by the pool or at the juice bar would be odd, at least for now. The massage tables and spa treatments are too distracting, but the hot tub allows us to sit and watch without anyone questioning it. It'll give us the lay of the land without drawing any attention on us."

"And we both have to do it?" Laxus probed. "Wouldn't it make more sense to split up and cover more ground.

"Later," Freed dismissed. "We came in together; we'll need to do things at the same time at least once in a while. As I said, the treatments are distracting and as such we should do them one at a time rather than simultaneously. If we spend the whole day apart after we've arrived together, it'll raise suspicion. The hot tub is a good vantage point, and so a good way to be seen together while not losing an advantage."

Laxus thought for a moment, before nodding, clasping Freed on the bare shoulder, and giving him the smallest of grins. "Yer good at this."

"Of course I am," Freed retorted, and that seemed to make Laxus grin wider.

They walked towards the hot tub, which was at the back wall, attached to the main pool. As it was a Tuesday afternoon, only a few people were loitering around the resort and the hot tub was empty. Freed placed his towel on the handle provided and walked into the hot tub, soaking his entire body sans his head in the hot, bubbling water. His muscles relaxed instantly, and he felt himself slinking down ever so slightly.

"You ain't here to relax," Laxus said in a voice almost teasing as he climbed the stairs into the tub. "Eyes on the mission, remember."

Freed went to point out that, given Laxus was looking at him rather than at the door, he was just as distracted. But Laxus chose that moment to sit down, submerging his chest in water and spreading his arms wide. His left hand was close to Freed's shoulder, and Freed felt that it was an act of great resilience that he didn't give into base urges and watch Laxus as he adjusted to his relaxed, wet – very very wet – state.

"I will if you will," Freed eventually said back, looking towards the door. He missed how Laxus' gaze lingered on his body just a little too long.

They fell into silence, and Freed made a genuine effort to keep his gaze away from the man who shared the hot tub with him. He truly hadn't thought this through. He hadn't realised that, as good as Laxus looked from afar, he looked better up-close. Maybe he should have denied the request to join the mission. And maybe he should have worn a looser swimsuit…

"So," Laxus said after a while, looking up at the ceiling for a moment to crack his neck. "How much is the old man paying you to spy on me?"

Freed halted, and removed his eyes from the door and looked towards Laxus. His face only, of course. "Excuse me."

"Rule two, you gotta trust the guys you're working with. So don't bullshit yer team members," Laxus said with a little grin. "Answer the question."

"For every mission that I do with you, he'll cover all the money you take from it, so I'm fully paid," Freed explained. He saw no point in lying.

"Guess we're gonna be doing some well-paying missions together then, if we wanna bleed the old bastard dry," Laxus smirked, and it was an oddly alluring look on the man. Freed looked away from it, and towards the door again. "You gonna tell him that I'm onto him?"

"I'd rather keep the deal up, I can get good money doing this," Freed shrugged, and he saw Laxus grinning a little from the corner of his eye. He tried not to pay attention to the expression, and instead focused on a man who could fit the description of a suspect. The man walked past the door, but that didn't mean he wasn't who they were looking for. "Why did you agree to this if you knew your grandfather wants reports on you?"

"Because it's gonna happen anyway, might as well accept it," Laxus shrugged. "I knew he was gonna get someone to do it, kinda glad that it's you."

"Why?"

"Because yer interesting," Laxus said, looking up at the ceiling again and closing his eyes as he lowered himself deeper into the water. Freed's gaze flickered low on the man's abs for a moment before looking to the door again. "We get a hell of a lot of mages joining Fairy Tail. Lots of people who think they're tough shit and wanna become the next powerhouse. Yer the only person I think whose got a chance of actually doing it."

The compliment was flattering. Laxus had something of a reputation for being generally rude and selfish, and either they were exaggerated or Laxus was making an exception. Freed felt it was a combination of both, but he accepted the compliment without complaint.

"You know my magic?" He asked.

"I've been keeping tabs on you since you came here, yer interesting," Laxus nodded, wading a hand through the water absently and sending ripples through the bubbles. "People give the darker magics a lot of shit. They're idiots. You can kick ass, and you're not bad to be around. Pretty much the opposite of a Fairy Tail mage right now."

"Does that opinion extend to you?"

"What d'you think?" Laxus asked with a cocky expression that Freed found himself enjoying.

"I wouldn't be here if I thought you weak."

"Good."

They fell into a silence, with the bubbling water warming Freed and making his muscles loose and relaxed. He kept a steady gaze on the door, making sure to avert his eyes when someone walked into the room, so his staring wasn't too obvious. It was a worthy distraction, and one well needed now that Laxus had apparently been watching him for all of eight months. That, combined with the fact that Laxus was wearing swimming trunks and was less than five feet away, could all become rather an issue if Freed didn't focus on anything else.

"Okay, your turn to relax now," Laxus said, cutting through Freed's thoughts. His voice was a little more relaxed. "You can't stay lookin' at the door all day. You'll get a crick in the neck."

"I'll be fine," Freed dismissed.

"Doesn't matter," Laxus stated, shifting slightly to get closer to Freed. It was to get a better view of the door, but the body heat that rivalled the warmth of the water was a noticeable feeling and Freed tensed. "Rule Three: lean on yer teammates. Sometimes you'll need to slack off, that ain't something to fight against. So long as someone in the team is on full alert it isn't too bad a problem. So sit back, close yer eyes, and let me take over for a while."

Freed was hesitant, but Laxus was clearly taking over keeping his gaze on the door, and Freed eventually found himself sliding down to further cover his body in water, and closed his eyes as relaxation flowed through him.

When his mind began to slip, Freed found himself thinking that Laxus was actually rather helpful. Freed wasn't quite so arrogant to think he knew everything about wizarding work, and an S-Class mage would have things to teach. Laxus especially would be useful to learn from, given their apparently similarities in working styles. Freed would need to learn how to work in a team, even if it wasn't fond of the idea, and Laxus might know how to offer actual advice rather than pointless mantras like 'your team should be your family' and other nonsense he'd heard from Fairy Tail. Without lying about why he was there, his team-ups with Laxus might be mutually beneficial.

Perhaps relaxing wasn't too bad an idea, either. Freed's mind had been somewhat consumed by his work. Finding a place to live as a seventeen-year-old had been difficult, and he'd put in a lot of effort in getting rent on time. But now he got better paying jobs, that urgency could fall away a little.

With a bit of effort, he tried to push the fact he was on a job to the back of his mind.

Once this whole thing was dealt with, maybe he would invest in a pass for the resort. In his preliminary research for the mission, he'd heard good things about the facilities, and even though he'd only been in the hot tub as of yet, he felt inclined to agree.

Though perhaps Laxus' company was partially to blame for his mood.

Fairy Tail had sometimes felt like a lonely place. Their focus on friendship, family and their revoltingly sentimental ideas about goodness were nice in principle, but when you were on the outside looking in it could get under your skin. Freed knew he was at fault for his lack of relationships with his guildmates, but perhaps Laxus might be a good starting point. Ironic, given that nearly everyone had told him Laxus was off-putting and rude.

The bubbles sent a pleasant chill over him, and Freed felt his tenseness ebbing away. When he got a pass for the resort, he'd have to explore the idea of a massage. He'd never thought it appealing, but perhaps he could be convinced.

There wouldn't be much convincing needed if Laxus were the one massaging him.

"Shit," Laxus hissed, and Freed's eyes whipped open. A rush of panic filled him that somehow he might have said that aloud, but the idea was ridiculous. He looked to Laxus to see worry flickering over him. "The suspect saw me looking, I think he went to get backup."

"Are you sure?" Freed asked, mind suddenly back on focus again.

"No, but we made eye contact. He's suspicious of me," Laxus was clenching his teeth, seemingly annoyed at himself. "We can't fuck it up, the Rune Army don't take shit like this lightly. We need a distraction or to get out."

"A distraction will be easier," Freed concluded. "Does he know for sure that we're looking out for him?"

"I wasn't being careful. I was watching him for about a full minute without being subtle. Pretty sure he knows it's not a passing glance."

"But that doesn't mean you know what he's doing, it just means you were looking at him," Freed mused aloud. "What if we throw him off the scent, give him another reason for why you were so focused on him."

"The hell would that be?" Laxus growled a little, and Freed scanned the room. They were the only two people in there now.

"Maybe you wanted him gone," Freed thought, plans forming in his head. Many of them he had to dismiss outright. "Perhaps if he sees something he wasn't meant to see, he'll think you were looking at him because you wanted him to leave."

"What the hell would I wanna do that I wouldn't want him seeing?" Laxus snapped, agitation rising. An idea came to Freed. It was good, it would get them out of the situation no doubt, but it might have a few repercussions in the future. Many arguments both for and against it flung through his mind, and his indecision must have been obvious, as Laxus continued talking a moment later. "Rule four, if a mission's going to shit and you think you can salvage it, you do it. So if you've got any ideas, I'd love to hear them."

Freed went to open his mouth to explain his idea, but he heard movement from across the room and glanced towards the door. It was opening, and two more suspects were walking through it, stone-faced and angry.

Before he could second guess himself, he launched himself onto Laxus and began to kiss him.

It was a sloppy, energetic, and passionate kiss. Laxus was frozen for a few moments, but Freed forced himself to push on in the hope that Laxus was trying to understand what was happening. Laxus quickly started to kiss back, and a hand ran down Freed's back, pulling him close. Freed began to mess his hands through Laxus' hair, heart pounding and a ringing in his ears cutting through his panic. He couldn't think of how bad an idea this was, about how there were probably hundreds of other ways to deal with this, because rumours stated that the dark mages were powerful, and he didn't want to get into a fight he could avoid.

Kissing wasn't enough for his plan. People kissed all the time. They needed to get… intimate. Freed began to run his hands over Laxus' torso – damn was he strong – and he felt large hands groping at his ass in return. He gasped into the kiss, and forced himself to remember that it was just for the mission.

The sound of a door closing snapped him back to reality, and he glanced to the side without breaking the kiss to see the suspects had left. He pulled himself off of Laxus, to find he'd been dragged so he was straddling the man's thigh at some point, and turned away with a blush, panting quietly.

"Good plan," Laxus said, voice also breathless. "Think it threw them off."

"Yes," Freed agreed. He couldn't look towards Laxus now. He simply couldn't. "I'm sorry for doing-"

"Don't, you did what you had to do," Laxus cut him off, voice somewhat stern, which wasn't helping the situation. "I would've done the same if I thought of it, and you fixed my fuck up. So no complaints."

"Okay," Freed didn't feel any better. He stood up and reached for his towel, still not looking at Laxus. "I think I should sit at the juice bar for a while, we've been together for long enough."

"Wait," Laxus began, shifting slightly but Freed was climbing from the hot tub before he could reach for him. "This ain't- you don't have to leave on my account."

"I'm not," Freed lied. Because of course he was. Laxus might be straight, he might not like Freed, and he might not appreciate being kissed like that at random. "If we spend all out time in the hot tub, it'll look odd. It was overdue, more so now they've seen us."

Laxus looked ready to argue, but sighed and nodded. Freed walked towards the juice bar, fighting the urge to touch his lips. Electricity danced over them.

Kissing Laxus… it felt like being struck by lightning.

[sweetestlamb]

The Greatest Show

Summary: Come on, get into it. 

Author's note: I haven’t been inspired to write for this fandom in a while because honestly the writers are doing amazing, everything I think of is pure filth because I am eagerly awaiting their next kiss. But episode 17 broke my brain with their squash the rumor scene, the growling and grunting that So-Bong was so unaffected by. These two need a tent, desperately. Enjoy my royal pervs, here is my offering. 

p.s. picture borrowed from @tomorrowsdrama- thank you for the screenshots of this amazing moment! 

He's doing what he must to survive, that's all. End of sentence. He takes no pleasure in slamming the King into the closest surface and rubbing their body against him like a cat in heat, not in the slightest. Rumors are weeds, you have to rip them out for flowers and crops to flourish. That's all they're doing, weeding the garden of Joseon so it can flourish for their future child. 

That's what he tells himself as they cross paths in the royal hall, the King is flagged by the entire royal court animatedly discussing something of seemingly vast importance if their volume suggests anything. As he takes a step forward, Court Lady Choi seizes their hand halting them in place.

"Your highness you just not approach the King when he is with the Royal court. It is not proper. We just simply bow as they walk by."

But he doesn't care about propriety or appearing decent and well-behaved in front of these corrupt old bags, they are simply larger weeds that need to be disposed of. Smirking at their potential outrage, he grins evilly letting that fuel him even more before pulling up their dress to run over to their Cheoljongie. He looks bored out of his mind so it can also be considered a good deed, he's such a giving wife.

"My King!" Her voice rings out as he calls to his husband, who immediately looks over at them warmth filling those expressive eyes. Without hesitation the King bounds over to them happily, his movement only slightly faster than his usual glide ever the diligent King.

"My Queen, I have missed you."

The members of the backstabbing clan look disgruntled at the King's sudden departure, grumbling and pointing at them as if they have committed the highest crime.

If they think this is inappropriate then they're in for a huge surprise.

Looking down demurely, he thinks of his younger days when he was a junior understudy for the school play his acting prowess would come in handy now.

"Not as much as I have missed you, my love." He whispers the word of affection, reaching up to caress the King's cheeks softly making sure to appear infatuated. He has to force that after all because he doesn't do that naturally, despite what the royal maids claim. They are just confused, So-yong has a soft face that appears adoring at time despite his true emotions. 

With a soft whimper he throws himself into the King's arm, feeling those strong arms encircle her small waist, lightning zips through their veins but he ignores her bodily reaction.

We're just acting, take the memo! He internally berates the other inhabitant of this hormonally charged body.

But when Cheoljong strokes their neck and easily lifts them off their feet, he gasps loudly clinging to him harder for balance and because her knees suddenly feel weak.

"Your majesty, we do not have time for such....improper dalliance. You must not do this in such a public venue." One of the old farts stage whispers sounding positively scandalized and it revs him up even further. As he feels the King starting to retreat he jumps forward, wrapping their body around the King's like a limpet.

Cheoljong's eyes sparks to life the new position placing them eye to eye, panting softly onto each other. The air between them is charged and thick like a bowl of porridge. 

"Your highness, I agree you mustn't do this." Court lady Choi pleads with her, averting her eyes away from the tangled couple. 

He looks over Cheoljong's wide shoulders to see the Royal court affronted and wide eyed and Court Lady Choi with a similar expression, Hong Yeon is trying desperately to smother her smile as she averts her eyes. Sending her a secret wink, he pulls the King's head forward staring hungrily at his lips.

"I cannot resist, seeing him awakens such deep passion inside of me. Just one?"

He looks at her dazed, as if he's forgotten everyone surrounding them.

"Just...one?" He questions, confusion morphing into sudden realization as he watches them slide their tongue across plush lips.

"Oh."

Ignoring the cacophony of voices around them, he closes the miniscule space between them puckering up and kissing the soft skin of the King's cheek. Cheoljong tries blindly to catch her lips when they retract but he places a slim finger on his pursed lips.

Shaking their head lightly, he starts to slide down the King's hard body feeling the tight muscles even through the layers of fabric.

"We must save the rest for later, my heart. Come and visit us soon." He rubs at his stomach fondly, staring up into Cheoljong’s red face, he looks good enough to eat.

Wait what. Who thought that? No, it's the baby talking I'm just hungry, that's enough of a show.

Bowing deeply at the men, he steps around the King who is still frozen in his spot. Gathering himself he turns to the royal court with an innocent smile, "I apologize, I could not control myself. I will take a long walk to reflect on my behavior."

They collectively stare at her with gaped mouths as she walks off regally, shoulders straight as if nothing happened. After a few steps he turns around, calling over their shoulder, "Don't keep me waiting!" And then to add the proverbial cherry on top, he curls their finger before letting out a roar to which everyone jumps looking bewildered, except the King whose eyes could pierce a hole through their face.

He looks like a starved man. Maybe they should make him some more ramyeon?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To say he's flustered is a bit of an understatement considered the problem in his pants. Logically he understands the Queen's actions earlier, she'd merely been doing what they had both agreed to feigning affection to dissolve those erroneous rumors that were circulating the kingdom. But he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this immensely.

His Queen was an enigma he had even up on fully understanding, instead choosing to accept her and all that came with her. And her feelings for him were part of his confusion, she seemed to fluctuate between her emotions without rhyme or reason. He never knew which version of her he would be receiving at any given moment. So having her acting the way he'd only imagined in his dreams was both satisfying and unsettling.

It would be most difficult to go back to their normal, he wanted her in his arms always. Desperately yearned for intimacy that didn't dissipate when the sun peeked over the horizon.

Pushing his work to the side of the table he sighs leaning back into his seat thinking about his Queen.

"Why must she be so confusing?" He groans to myself thinking about their first night together, how passionate she'd been his ears burn remembering the sharp pain of her teeth sinking it. He had bite marks in... interesting places from that heated encounter but her behavior after had been consistent only in it's in inconsistency.

Running away from him, even going as far as hiding. Then just as suddenly she stopped avoiding him and they settled into comfortable nights together. However, they hadn't been intimate since despite his many efforts, he just wanted a kiss those plush pink lips were so tempting and today they'd been so very close. He needed that kiss like he needed air, he didn't care who was around. If she had kissed him he wouldn't have controlled himself, he would have hungrily devoured.

"Your majesty it is getting late, we must leave now if you wish to see the Queen." The head eunuch interrupts his inklings, bowing low in respect.

Is he ready for this? His control feels paper thin at the moment. But he did promise and they have an image to uphold.

Gathering his strength he rises, "Alright, let us take over leave. I shouldn't keep my Queen waiting."

The walk to Daejeon Hall is short but it feels like he's traversing miles, despite his previous concerns he is now eager to see the Queen. Her face is gorgeous at all hours but there's something about her face lit with candlelight, knowing he's the only one who is allowed to see her at such hours.

Accelerating his feet, he almost races to her ignoring cries from the head eunuch in the distance. Every second not spent in her company is a second wasted.

The Queen's Court lady announces his arrival before they all bow walking backwards out of the room before sliding the doors shut.

"You took your sweet time, I told you not to keep me waiting." She glares at him, pouting slightly bringing all his attention to her mouth.

"I apologize my Queen there were pressing matters to deal with." He lies easily no attention of clarifying his meaning, she doesn't need to know that dousing his arousal was the pressing matter at hand.

"Whatever. What's more important than me?" She scoffs looking offended turning away from him.

He lowers down into a crouch, crawling across the room until they are side by side. The Queen gasps at his unexpected closeness, staring at him with wide eyes and open lips.

Grasping at her hands he stares deeply into her gorgeous eyes solemnly with no humor in his voice, "Nothing. You are most important to me, both of you." Reverently he reaches out a hand to palm at her still small belly, impatient to see her round with his seed.

Her face slowly softens as he rubs her stomach and then she places her hand atop his, no longer resistant to these fleeting moments of intimacy.

Instinctively he starts to lean forward, laser focus on her lips as he inches closer to her. When he's close enough to breath into her mouth she snaps from her haze, moving back marginally he almost growls at her he's so frustrated, he's barely able to swallow the sound.

"What are you doing? There's no one to put on a show for."

He peers at her searching her face, her pupils are dilated and he can feel how fast she's breathing each puff landing on his face, her expression near identical to their last night together. But she's stopping him. Even though she clearly desires this too.

He thinks back to her behavior earlier too, she was brazen then comfortable climbing him in front of so many others all in the name of squashing the rumors.

She needs an excuse to do this.

He should feel offended by this epiphany but instead it brings him resolve, she clearly still hasn't fully let him into her heart but she feels something for him she's more than proven that to him. If she needs to draw a line to be with him then so be it for now, he will prove himself to her everyday.

"There are several court maids and servants outside your room, they are pretending they are not listening but they are. Sometimes your imagination can be even more powerful than reality."

She looks towards the door, eying the shadows through the thin covering before turning back to him and nodding in understanding.

"Okay. Let's give them a show."

Without warning she knocks a marble vase to the ground, the loud crash filling the room as it makes contact with the floor.

Then she moans. Loudly. A suggestive gasping moan that goes straight to his chest before zinging lower, tucking at his loins.

She pushes him when he sits silently merely staring at her, "You need to play along too. Come on, get into it."

There's it is again. That damn phrase.

Get into it.

If only she knew how into it he truly was. Grabbing at her ankle and tucking her underneath him, he slams his arms on either side of her head before groaning deeply, "My Queen, please."

Pride explodes in his chest when he sees a deep blush glide across her face. Not unaffected.

"Am I getting into it enough for you now?" He whispers darkly, itching to lower his weight and kiss that delicious look off her face.

Surprisingly she stutters out, "Ye-a-ah. You seem very into it now, nobody can see us though. We don't need to be like this." She motions between their bodies, unable to meet his gaze now. She motions between their bodies, unable to meet his gaze now. She's right but he also knows that he can't miss this chance, he has her right where he wants her and besides squirming distractedly she hasn't shown any desire for him to move away.

"Do you want me to stop?" When she doesn't immediately answer he begins to move backward giving her space but she latches onto his forearm, tight.

"Wait! Maybe we should commit even if they can't see us, it'll help us play our roles better." She reasons and he smiles, razor sharp. She wants this just as badly as he does, he's studied her long enough to read between these lines.

Swiftly he rolls them over so she's on top, pressed together from shoulders to feet her long braid swinging over and brushing against his cheek. Gently wrapping it around his hand he uses it to bring her closer, her breath hitches seductively and he whispers, "Louder. So they can hear you." Without waiting for a reply he tugs at her hair again harder this time and the sound that escapes her lips is orgasmic, a high whining moan that sets his skin on fire. Emboldened and aroused he grabs her neck, speaking into her opened mouth "Do you like that my Queen?" Her eyes are glazed over as she sways as if intoxicated by him.

"Cheoljong, kiss me."

It's too quiet for anyone's ears but his and that makes him even hotter, this wasn't part of the show. This was just for him, just for them.

Always one to seize the moment, he yanks her down to meet his eagerly waiting mouth swallowing the moan that rolls off her tongue. The kiss escalates immediately with both twisting and licking, wet sucking noises soaking the room as they bring apart to gasp for air and crash back together, chaotically and perfectly. When he feels a wondering hand graze his groin he can't resist the urge to thrust up into her touch. Wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her even closer, although there is no space between them.

When he pulls back, her eyes remain close as she licks her lips as if chasing his taste on them. His cock jumps jealously.

"I want you." He admits, wanting to make it clear if his intentions are not already crystalline to her. He wants no room for misunderstandings tonight.

She stares wordlessly before reaching across his body and then he sees the oil in her hand, he hadn't noticed its presence next to them but he eagerly takes it from her.

"Are you comfortable?"

"Don't go soft on me now, bring back the guy who was pulling my hair. Do you want me to call you Daddy too?"

His breath hitches at the word, he doesn't understand why but hearing her makes something dark coil in his belly. She lifts an eyebrow at his heavy silence, "You're so kinky."

He stares confused again, nothing new to him but he stores the word away for further inspection of its meaning. "Is kin-ky bad?" He asks reaching down to lower his pants and cover himself in the thick oil coating each inch of the hard pole.

She doesn't answer right away, avidly watching him stroke himself to fullness before rubbing at the bulbous deep scarlet head, serving to make him almost painfully turned on. "No, kinky is good. I like kinky." She tugs her skirt up and his eyes bulge when instead of seeing the various layers he should see there is only bare skin.

Had he been seduced? It feels as if he has been but he doesn't care enough to question her or pause this for a second. He would happily be her fool.

Gripping at her hips he rubs against her, groaning when her wetness smears across him obscenely. She grinds down onto him meeting him head on, they are definitely on the same page now.

Unable to wait for even another second, he envelopes her in his arms before sliding into her smoothly her natural moisture and the oil easing the way until he is completely encased. She moans long and wailing as he slides to the hilt, he groans loudly joining her as she scratches roughly down his back even through the sturdy material he can feel the burn. Absently he considers gentling his moves, she is pregnant and more fragile after all. But she must read his face and be vehemently against his plan because suddenly she rises up, slipping off his hardness before slamming back down the loud smacking of skin filling the room.

"It's time for the main event. Don’t stop now.” She challenges him, squeezing around his erection. 

Pushing his reservations to the side, he gets into it full heartedly thrusting hard before capturing her mouth in a harsh kiss, hissing when he feels her teeth tug roughly at his bottom lip, his lioness has returned. He teasingly roars into her mouth and she laughs around his tongue, breaking free only to latch on his neck sucking hard. He hopes it leaves a mark.

Her laughter causes her to tighten around him and he groans at her vice like grip on his cock, he can feel himself nearing the end. Recalling their first night he suddenly grabs her neck, squeezing lightly and when she whines in a broken gasp he tightens his hand and delights as she melts slowly limp in his hold, he supports her weight easily bucking into her tight heat. When he thrusts up a second time he feels her wetness gush around him before he loses himself, his climax tensing his body as he slowly falls apart.

The entire kingdom will surely be in an uproar tomorrow.

He's looking forward to it. That will teach them to spread rumors about their intimate affairs. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In the hallway, Hong Yeon brings her hands to her hot cheeks feeling overheated from the King and Queen's boisterous gathering. Every court maid is blushing as they look discretely at the door with every moan and groan that escapes. She hopes this will qualm the rumors in the kingdom, she cannot take this for much longer. Court lady Choi had left to retrieve water after their first moans and had yet to return, she surmised if the Queen were not already with child she would have been impregnated again going by the sounds they were making. It was all too obvious to her, despite the Queen's strange behavior at times, they were desperately in love with each other. She'd never seen two people who were more crafted for the other.

Anyone who thought otherwise was a fool. 

[scentedluminarysoul]

You could just answer instead of saying fuck off and start throwing insults around? So you think women are equal to men when it comes to physical strength and endurance? How come the men’s records are better when it comes to running fast, swimming fast, jumping high then? Do you think there should be just one category for both sexes, and how many women would win an olympic medal if that was the case?

I don't even like sports.

Why do you care so much? Because of the VAST AMOUNTS of trans women having won medals? Show me them.

Lia won. 500 yards. She got 8th (LAST) place in 100 yards. What an advantage she has, oh my! But of course you don't care about that.

And no, I don't answer "x identifies as y" bullshit. Because you yourself know it's complete bullshit.

But here's my take:

I'm actually for mixing, always have been. Pit people of equal strength/ability against each other, instead of arbitrarily categorize by shape of naughty bits. Similar to weight categories in boxing. Have you ever seen women's soccer? It's so much more intense than man's. And a German man's champion team actually played against the women's team, AND LOST. Not all sports require sheer muscle strength.

And WHY would you need to seperate children pre-puberty, anyway? WHY do you want random dudes to look at little children's genitals to determine which team they should play on? Does the sport require genitals? If so, children shouldn't be playing it!! How is that good for children?? Please explain!

Yes, testosterone gives you more muscles. But you lose them rapidly on estrogen. Which is why trans women have to have been on E for at least a year to be allowed to compete. After no more than two years there is no difference at all. (Overall, individuals might be equal MUCH quicker, hence the one year) Also people like you FORCED CIS WOMEN to undergo genital checks and to take E, because they're testosterone was deemed to high.

Hey, and if it's only about fairness in sports, here's a fun fact for you:

Michael Phelps has a huge GENETIC advantage in swimming:

Wingspan His arm span is 6’7″, 3 inches more than his height. Generally, a person’s arm span is equal to his/her height, but Phelps is not an ordinary person. This anomalous characteristic provides him with an absurd amount of pulling power in the water. Basically, his arms work as powerful propulsive (boat) paddles in a more efficient way than his competitors.

Torso His upper body is that of a 6 ‘8 “man, which is insanely long. So he has an amazing reach with every stroke, which pulls him through the water ahead of the competition.

Lower Body Surprisingly, its lower body is only 5 ’10 “long, which is actually beneficial as it reduces resistance against water.

Palms and Feet Phelps has huge palms that support his paddling ability and size 14 feet, which essentially act as flippers (the kind of fingerless arms that seals have).

This humongous set of feet is attached to extremely flexible ankles, which work like fins (similar to a shark).

Lactic Acid Athletes often envy Phelps because it’s scientifically proven that his body produces half as much lactic acid as his rivals need to process, significantly shortening his recovery time. If not all, athletes face tight muscles, muscle pulls, hamstrings, and body stiffness in the lower body during their training. Although this can be tackled by stretching the target muscles using dedicated equipment like stretching machines, Phelps has a natural advantage in this area.

(x)

But I don't think you care too much. Unless he were to come out, take E for two years and then compete in the women's category, of course. Bet you like him, though, since he's on your side.

Every. Single. Person has certain advantages and disadvantages. Most "athelete of the year", of any given year, probably have some advantage, genetic, hormonal, whatever.

Like. Do you even care about the hormone levels of men? Those competing in men's sports? Should the winner of a men's boxing match have his hormone levels compared to the losers, to determines whether it was "fair"? How far do you go? Should penis length be important?

Or do you just not ACTUALLY care about sports and fairness? Only about hating and discriminating against trans women, because you, personally, find them "icky"? Because it's some cause to rally for?

Another thing to consider (I heard it somewhere and found it striking): You believe in "biological reality", right? Sex is the same as gender? Your genitals/hormones = your gender? Okay.

Presume brain transplant surgery exists, tomorrow you wake up, and your brain - as it is right now, all the feelings, memories, your personality - has been transplanted into the body of the "opposite" sex. Genital, hormones and all. Would you immediately feel like that gender? Why? Or why not?

And now also consider that the genitals develop during the first two months of pregnancy, whereas the brain develops much later, not until the second half. They develop independently from each other, that is a know fact. Is it really that weird or hard to imagine that a hormone imbalance could cause them to develop different sex/gender identities? (Fun fact: Science says no!)

Hey, real quick: Look at history. Look at the people who fiercely fought FOR segregation, of any kind. Which side of history are they on? That's the side you will be remembered on.

Trans people are just like you. People. They just want to live, do sports (god knows why), and be happy. They are not predators or deceivers or evil. They just exist. And deserve basic human rights and decency.

Here. This is a photo of Elizabeth Eckford, on her first day of school. Normal girl. She just wanted to go to school, like everyone else. You will be remembered the same as the white girl on the left

That enough answer for you? And that's just off the top of my head (minus specific research for links/photo)

And a couple of tips for the future, if you really want an answer:

Come off anon. Do I need to explain the concept of "anon hate" to you?

DON'T come in with "x identifies as y" bullshit. Immediate troll alert.

You have an HONEST question? Ask. But not in this bullshit way that you yourself know is bullshit and just a cheap shot. r/onejoke / Ben Shapiro level of hate will be met in kind and I will never apologize for that.

[themoonispurple7]

I haven't really kept up with bts in a while but someone just reblogged the ask about suspicious cuts you got. You dont seriously believe that in these videos jikook do ~anything~ that hints at a relationship (or them being anything more than friends) so much that it needs to be cut otherwise it would expose them? Keep in mind, there are staff members around, people that became staff merely to get close to the boys, people that are probably not even staff, and you hear about sasaengs sneaking behind the scenes from time to time, not even counting the ones that aren't found out. Granted, sasaengs have a harder time now with covid and stricter regulations concerning the number of people that are allowed now etc. But jikook are still famous celebrities surrounded by a lot of people they don't know very well at any given moment. This combined with the fact that they're in South Korea... anyone of the film crew could keep discriminating material and sell it to the highest bidder (and we know there would be many people paying unimaginable sums for that kind of content).

You don't seriously believe they are dumb enough to a) believe that everyone around them is well intentioned or b) know not everyone has good intentions and still risk their career this way. (I know they have many nice moments but keep in mind this is about content having to be cut explicitly so they don't give themselves away.)

I used to be a jikooker and I still believe that they have something special but this is truly delulu. You said it yourself.

Hey, hey, slow down a bit there! I never said that JK or JM would do anything during those cuts that would be considered proof of a relationship or that they are dumb (?!). I specifically said this is one thing where I allow myself to speculate because I consider it harmless enough. And it’s a strange coincidence that we have several of those cuts when Jimin’s lips are approaching Jungkook’s neck. I guess I need to be clearer. I think what might happen during some of those moments is something like what happened when they were shopping in Malta - Jimin was feeling peckish and got his lips on JK’s neck. I don’t even think that was a kiss, honestly. But some editors may think lips close to the neck might be something that should be cut out. Not all editors are the same, and they’re not always consistent. Some will censor an entire face, mouth, bellies, chests, etc, while some won’t bother. Maybe some editors think lips in close proximity to neck areas aren’t suitable for official BH content. I’m sure 99% of the cuts is absolutely nothing, but maybe 1% of it could be. 

I put my delulu hat on specifically in this case because I don't think including those things would be proof of anything. Jimin and Jungkook are both professionals and not some hormone-driven teenagers who can’t keep their hands off each other. That doesn’t mean they won’t sometimes be a bit closer than usual, especially when emotions are running high. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. 

Anyway, if you’ve read my blog at all, you’d know that I’m not that quick to jump to any conclusions, so I apologize if I made it seem that way. I’m always open to viewing things from multiple angles and changing my mind, that’s basically why I’m here.

[buyingmelanotan2]

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[ahkmenrahdaley]

Kylo's literally the type of person to go on with his business even when he's about to go into labor so like, Hux and Kylo in a meeting and they're argueing much to the frustration of everyone else. And finally fed up Kylo gets up to leave, but then there's this really loud splash and everyone is frozen silence and Hux looks over in horror at Kylo because really how could he be so stupid. He's honestly so done he's been yelling at him for days to just sit down he knew this would happen my gosh

Second part of Hux/Kylo in a meeting: So Hux is yelling more now demanding Kylo take off his mask while Kylo fights him for it till he finally gives in and Hux softens because underneath Kylo is clearly in pain, panting and sweating. Hux goes to comfort Kylo and they have a small moment till Hux realizes that everyone is still in the room just enjoying this whole thing play out and he just wants this to end.

Last part with the meeting: Hux barks at all of them to get out and get the medic but Kylo informs him theres no time he waited to long and ultamitely, Phasma, Mitaka, and a few officers and storm troopers end up delivering this child.

They hadn’t stopped arguingsince they’d woken up. The emperor and his consort were supposedly the Galaxy’smost influential couple. Admired and loved by all, they were to lead an exampleto those who worked beneath them. However, recently things had becomeestranged. When the Emperor announced to his subjects that he would soon havehis first heir by his personal hound, many didn’t believe it to be possible -Kylo hadn’t portrayed any symptoms of an ongoing pregnancy, neither did he look the part, yet, only a few weeksafter it was announced, that all changed.

Kylo became angrier than usual(if at all possible), he snapped at everyone including his poor husband whoseemed to get the more violent end of his hormones. He was frustrated, annoyedwith each tiny problem that was presented before him and desperate to have thischild. But along with anger and anxiety came determination. He was eager toprove that he was more than the Emperor’s broodmare but a Queen, a consort, aknight; the man who would give his husband the most powerful children that hedesired. And that’s how they ended up as they were.

Kylo was nine months pregnant,his due date was less than a day away and yet he sat beside Hux in a seat thatwas crafted for a much …slimmer Queen. He looked bored, felt it too. Theongoing diplomatic missions reminded him of his childhood abandonment and theydispleased him greatly. It was fine until Hux wouldn’t pay attention to him. Hewas too busy discussing the military operations with Phasma, who was now theGeneral of his army. Mitaka was there too, though this time as an ambassadorfor their Empire, reporting about the abilities of the Resistance, Kyloremembered his face for their brief encounters. He still looked as scared as hedid the first time they met.

Boredom allowed Kylo to creategames in his head. First he thought about what his and Hux’s child would looklike. They’d have to be force sensitive, as the great-grandchild of Darth Vaderthat was to be expected, another trait to be expected was confidence. Thischild would be an heir to the throne, future ruler of the whole Galaxy. They’dat least have to be capable of ruling the Galaxy  as brilliantly as their father….They…hedidn’t like referring to their child in such a neutral term. So the mostobvious question prevailed: would it be a girl or boy? Kylo didn’t mind, helonged for either, though Hux wanted a boy for some weird reason. And wouldthey have ginger hair or brown? Brown eyes or blue? If one thing was evidentfrom looking at the parents, the child was bound to have pale skin. They willlook like they’re from Arkanis, Kylo decided confidently even though he’d neveractually been there.

Deciding on what their child wouldlook like he turned to husband.

“Girl or boy?” he asked quietlyas Phasma talked about their ability to press forward against the Resistance.They’d heard it but a thousand times before and honestly Kylo wanted nothingmore than for her to shut up.

“What - Kylo, we’re in themiddle of something here -,” he paused when Kylo looked at him, looking sorryunderneath the mask. The silence was enough to kill Hux’s sense of pride. “Fine,”he sighed, “A boy. Like I’ve told you numerous times before.”

Kylo hummed. “I think it couldbe a girl.”

Hux looked away from him again,perplexity crossing his face when he realised the conversation had suddenlychanged. That was a game in itself, actually two games in one - a) how confusedand flustered could he make Hux  and b)how long would it take for people to notice he wasn’t listening?

The emperor suddenly realisedwhat he was doing. “Kylo,” he drawled. “Stop your silly games.”

“I wouldn’t have to do thesesilly games if you talked to me.”

“Talk to you?” he asked with alaugh. “Kylo, we have business to do, a galaxy to maintain. This is no time forcasual chat, my love.”

“Don’t ‘my love’ me,” Kylogrowled. “The Galaxy isn’t going fall to shambles just because you ignored yourmeeting for two minutes. It’s good to talk, we could be like a normal couple.”

“We are a normal couple.”

It took them a minute to figureout that everyone had gone silent because of them. Hux immediately straightenedup and cleared his throat, his cheeks started flushing red with embarrassment. “W-well,as you were saying, General,” he said shakily and Phasma began talking again.

There were a few more fightsduring the meeting. Kylo began getting annoyed when Hux began to ignore him andthat’s when the trouble started. They were just bickering but practicallyscreaming at each other, forcing Hux to stop himself from completely lashingout in front of the others. Everyone else sat there, awkwardly fiddling aroundwith their thumbs or the first thing their hands could reach as the couplebarked insults at each other.

“I bet you even have amistress!” Kylo said at one stage, completely out of the blue. “You might aswell have her pregnant too, just like daddy.”

Hux rolled his eyes thougheveryone could see that the mention of Brendol and his affair had him in afrenzy. “ Well, at least my father died without my contribution. Not all of us arethat psychotic!”  

Kylo gasped, though through themask it sound weird, more like he’d been physically hurt than insulted. He gotup from his seat, his fist balled at his sides as he walked toward the door.

“I’m so finished with you andyour -“ there was a splashing sound. Everyone went silent, all suddenly lookingup at Kylo who didn’t even know how to react.

“-Shit” Hux finished for him.

He had to force him to sit downsince Kylo was undeniably stubborn. He kept lying over and over again, sayingthat he’d be able to make it to the medcentre. It was obvious that he wasn’tgoing too, since Hux had been there at the birth of a cousin and knew how itall planned out. He just wished Kylo hadn’t been so stupid.

“Kylo, honey, you have to takeoff the mask,” Hux said allowing him to sit down on his throne.

Kylo shook his head, nearlyready to die of the embarrassment.

“Kylo, please, you need to take it off,” he pressured this time andsuddenly Kylo felt calmer.

When the mask came off Kylobreathed a large sigh of relief. His face was scrunched up in pain, gettingworse only as he went through the contractions. And he could only be describedas being the colour of snow - the shock and pain combined together and rid ofany colour on his face. He looked desperate. Panting and urging Hux to get himhelp.

“Hey, hey,” Hux said softly,allowing Kylo to rest his head on his chest. “It’s going to be alright, okay?You have to trust me. Give me your hand,” he held it out and Hux took it, “Now,whenever you feel like you have to just press down on it just do, you got that?”Kylo nodded and Hux kissed the top of his head. “Good, you’re doing greatalready. I love you, I love you so much, you understand that?”

“Y-yeah,” Kylo cried.

Everyone else was looking atHux in shock, unable to comprehend how the bloodthirsty could manage to be so ….nice.A few of the officers looked quite infatuated, as if they were watching thescene from a romantic holo. Hux was only getting more impatient, though.

“Stop standing around and helpme!” he ordered.

It seemed to be a lot shorterthan Hux remembered - suddenly, after about an hour or so of constant screamingand agony, the cries of a child could be heard echoing throughout the throneroom. Kylo’s chest heaved heavily before he sighed in relief at the sound oftheir baby crying. It was alive, at least, that’s what he had to thank themaker for.

“See? Wasn’t too bad now, wasit?” Hux said playfully and Kylo hit him with all the energy he had left.

“A girl, sir,” one of theofficers said gently as he hand the squealing child to her father.

Kylo looked sick. “I-I’m sorry,Hux - we can….we can try again for a boy. I should’ve been able to -“

“No, no, Kylo, look,” Hux said,showing Kylo the child beneath the blankets. “She’s perfect. Our littleprincess, see.”

“You’re not mad?” Kylo asked,sounding like a guilty child.

Hux shook his head. “Kylo, you’vegiven us a child,” he said, “A beautiful daughter. The future Queen of theGalaxy. Why would I be mad?”

Kylo looked proud of himselfthen, looking at the small child who had begun to babble softly instead of cry.She was so tiny compared to him, in contrast to the throne she was evensmaller.

“One day,” he said to her, “One day this willall be yours.”