#Night is meant to be with Dream but he got bad vibes

[mildarka]

Felt like making a reverted AU

[astonmartinii]

bad blood (lando's version) | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem carlos ex!reader

band aid's don't fix bullet holes but his best friend might

based on this request:so reader is a famous model who’s also carlos ex (dated YEARS) and after the breakup he jumped straight to rebeca (we just need a tiny bit of bad blood). soo she and lando always got along, ever since carlos was in mclaren. the point is they get together and come hand in hand to a gp out of nowhere so drama and more bad blood surface - you can lead this to whatever you want hehe, thanks!!! - @lorenakaspersen

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

vogue

liked by hunterschafer, landonorris and 1,209,433 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: y/n y/ln takes the cover for this month, where she talks re-discovering herself and giving yourself time to move on. copies in stores everywhere this friday.

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user1: i am once again asking how the fuck that man fumbled a bad bitch like her

user2: do not bring that man up here, he actually boils my blood

user3: honestly thank god they wear helmets in f1 cause if i saw his smug little face i may have smashed by tv

yourusername: thank you for having me hehehehhe xx

vogue: you dropped this queen 👑

user4: not vogue supporting her more than carlos ever did 🤨

user5: at least lando still supports her

user6: i'm glad the friends she made... i.e lando, charles, max, daniel, etc did also abandon her when carlos just dropped her

hunterschafer: you're the person i see in your dreams

yourusername: are you sure i'm not just your sleep paralysis demon?

hunterschafer: you're welcome to stalk mine dreams anytime

user7: how am i meant to care about f1 without y/n?

user8: she's the reason i learnt about the sport but at leats now i have an excuse to support someone else LOL

landonorris: tinkerbell looks a little bit different here

yourusername: i thought you were too old to watch peter pan?

landonorris: i just said that so you would think i'm a big macho man :(

yourusername: that is tragic

landonorris: can i interest you in a movie night some time soon then

yourusername: you might

user9: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ^^

user10: idk but i am excited

f1wagupdates

liked by user11, user12 and 4,032 others

f1wagsupdates: carlos sainz debuts his new girlfriend rebecca donaldson at the bahrain grand prix, just one month after breaking up with model y/n y/ln. sainz and y/ln were together for three years, and sainz was seen with donaldson for the first time just a week after the breakup.

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user13: lol the wag accounts are done with his ass

f1wagsupdates: i am a y/n y/ln stan first and foremost

user14: anyone see the absolute stink eye charles and lando gave carlos LOL

user15: that's the thing when you're together for so long, the friends get attached as well

user16: i mean if certified homie hopper charles leclerc is calling your bluff then you know you've fucked up

user17: i will never understand how he jumped into a relationship with her after three years ?? LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

user18: things like that make me glad i'm single

user19: the thing that is bothering me that no one has said yet is the fact that he's been with her what a month? and he's already brought her to a race when he made y/n wait months to go to a race?

user20: screams insecurity - like "look i have moved on, i'm an alpha male who can get whoever i want"

user21: i never understood why he didn't let her come to races for months when they first got together, like not even his home race?

user22: i've always got the vibe that he thought that he was better than her and that she was using him?

user23: the way if he ever posted her (which was not very often) he never tagged her

user24: which is ironic because she's one of the most celebrated models in recent history, she has millions more followers than him and has a bigger network than him, so really if anyone was using anyone it was carlos using her

user25: anyone else pulling for her to get with lando?

user26: i always thought they got on more in the videos of them all together but honestly i just want her to be happy

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,018,552 others

yourusername: not much going on recently

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user27: SHE'S SO HOT

user28: i need her to give me one chance please

charles_leclerc: are we still down for the road trip to lourdes?

yourusername: needed now more than ever

charles_leclerc: trust and believe

user29: charles and y/n friendship you mean so much to me

user30: need her to sit in charles' side of the garage

user31: mother went to the university of servington where she got a degree is cuntology with a minor in slaying the haus down

danielricciardo: miss ma'am, leave some for the rest of us

yourusername: why thank you good sir

danielricciardo: where do i procure a veil as such?

yourusername: i may source one for you if you promise not to shave that moustache

heidiberger: preach

user32: i bet carlos just thought everyone would just forget about y/n when he dropped her, but he forgot that she's probably more liked on the grid than he is LOL

landonorris: why are you staring into my soul like that

yourusername: why are you lurking in my comment section

landonorris: i thought we were friends :(

yourusername: always and forever

user33: but he wants it to be more

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo

user33: I SAW THAT LANDO X Y/N COMING SOON?

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 803,774 others

landonorris: hostess with the most-ess?

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user34: is that a ... WOMAN?

user35: he's saying he's a host ... maybe he's hosting a friend who is a girl, it's not illegal

user36: i get your sentiment, but that photo is straight out of the soft launch girlfriend pinterest boards

user37: well now i'm picturing lando scrolling through pinterest and asking ??? to recreate the pics 😭

carlossainz55: missing my golf partner, round this weekend? ⛳️

landonorris: let me check my schedule buddy 👍

user38: okay... well someone else tell me that they can feel the vibe shift

user39: it's their first online interaction after the breakup, i think we can guess who's side lando is on

oscarpiastri: someone needs to debrief me asap

landonorris: someone forgot that he owns a phone

oscarpiastri: needed the added pressure of the public call out to make you actually do it

landonorris: fine, but you get three questions and that's it

user40: if the call out was public can't we get the public answers

yourusername: are you coming for my job?

landonorris: you saying i could model 😊

yourusername: i'm definitely saying you should let me give my agent your number

landonorris: you already have my number babe

yourusername: okay pretty boy

user41: i need this type of nepotism in my life

user42: i need the nepotism and the sexual tension cause PHEW it is through the roof

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,760,521 others

yourusername: enjoy the picture of me fucking up a pretzel

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user46: okay where are the detective freaks from f1twt?

user47: reporting for duty 🫡

user46: what car is that?

user47: it looks strikingly similar to a jolly, but i don't know if that's just my brain pushing me to make it lando. but there is a florist in monaco that wraps their flowers just like that as well ....

user46: thank you for your service

danielricciardo: this is very ballerina core 🩰

yourusername: has the old man been spending time on the internet?

danielricciardo: yes he has 😃

yourusername: omg proud

danielricciardo: no but seriously how did you do it? it looks sick

yourusername: very fiddly, needed an extra pair of hands

danielricciardo: an extra pair of hands [wiggles eyebrows]

yourusername: did you just comment your own stage directions?

danielricciardo: funny 😄

user48: okay i am glad we're not being deprived of the y/n and daniel friendship.

landonorris: i am enjoying this picture of you fucking up a pretzel

yourusername: i am a whore for carbs

landonorris: i am a whore for you

this comment was deleted

landonorris: i am also a whore for carbs (don't tell jon)

maxverstappen1: 📸📸📸 saw that mister !!

landonorris: you didn't see NOTHING

user49: we saw everything. i am so disappointed in lando, he's carlos' bestfriend and he's doing this?

liked by carlossainz55

user50: oh i know this man aint speaking

f1teaandgossip

liked by user51, user52 and 10,945 others

ftteaandgossip: carlos sainz was caught liking this tweet about his ex girlfriend y/n y/ln and his (former?) best friend lando norris. what do you think?

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user53: the audacity of men never fails to astound me

user54: you know what, i feel like a guilty man only acts this bold. so i'm saying it. i think there was overlap between his relationship with y/n and his relationship with rebecca

user55: you're right and you should say it

user56: carlos got with rebecca within a WEEK of the end of a three year relationship but is angry that she's finally moving on after months ?

user57: for real the first sight of lando and y/n was after at least two months

user58: i know people will say she's in the wrong because it is lando but honestly carlos has no leg to stand on with him parading rebecca around the paddock

user59: i really couldn't give a fuck if lando is his best buddy you act like a fool expect to get treated like a fool

user60: also the whole "whoring around the grid" is so dumb. you mean her FRIENDS? you know the friends she had to make when you would just leave her in the paddock or ignore her at parties ?

user61: babe really thought he was more loved in the paddock and expected everyone to go along with his messiness

user62: men don't talk about women this way challenge

user63: imagine talking about a girl you were with for THREE tears like this

user64: i wish lando and y/n all the best and i hope they're together for a long time, she deserves a good man after all of this

user65: i have faith 🤞

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,109,413 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: sloppy seconds you say? i never come second with him. pun intended x

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user66: SERVE

user67: user67 found dead in her home, cause of death: this post

landonorris: what can i say i'm a giver 🤷‍♂️

yourusername: i'll say 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri: ENOUGH

landonorris: i thought you were happy for us oscar :(

oscarpiastri: i am !! i even took the second picture. but i think you forget that i am staying with you in monaco :/

yourusername: whoops my bad

landonorris: i swear my hospitality is usually better

yourusername: i can attest to his hospitality

oscarpiastri: STOP PLEASE STOP

user68: poor oscar being traumatised by y/n and lando 😭

carlossainz55: real mature

yourusername: how about instead of liking shady tweets and commenting on my instagram posts, you come confront me like a real fucking person.

carlossainz55: you'd love that wouldn't you

yourusername: i really would because if i said everything you needed to hear i'd be banned from this app

carlossainz55: you really are the gold digging slut my parents warned me about

landonorris: you will absolutely not talk to her that way. if you do so again we'll have a very real problem

carlossainz55: you have no sense of loyalty lando

landonorris: the call is coming from inside the house

user69: the girls are FIGHTING

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landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,866,398 others

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landonorris: nothing better than a podium at home and time with family

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user72: the sky camera shady as fuck for cutting straight to y/n in the mclaren garage when carlos crashed LOL

user73: her and lando's dad trying not to laugh had me creasing

yourusername: beyond proud of you baby

landonorris: your support means everything pretty girl

yourusername: and your family are the loveliest, tell mama i said thank you for having me (and my sandwiches for the plane)

landonorris: she say's thank you and come back soon (i also want you to come home asap)

user74: he already refers to his house at their home

user75: and y/n has been accepted by the family - the sainzs could take notes

oscarpiastri: oscar piastri erasure

yourusername: sorry osc, you're our favourite pookie on the grid

landonorris: also mama made you sandwiches too

oscarpiastri: i know they were very yummy 😋

danielricciardo: HOLD ON, oscar is your favourite pookie, where am i ???

maxverstappen1: i think you'll find i am their favourite full stop

charles_leclerc: nuh uh it's clearly me

yourusername: i'll just say lando is my favourite

landonorris: and i'll say y/n is my favourite

yourusername: and that's that

danielricciardo: boooooooo.

maxverstappen1: cop out :(

charles_leclerc: 🍅🍅🍅

user76: i am so confused right now

yourusername

liked by bellahadid, landonorris and 3,109,766 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: you are in love, true love.

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user77: omg the letters? i swear there were letters in her first post after carlos took rebecca to the first race of the season

user78: wait so do you think they were from lando the whole time?

yourusername: yes they are from lando ! after the carlos stuff had somewhat died down he had them all delivered to me and it definitely swayed me for a first date

user79: but i thought some of those letters looked pretty old

landonorris: i won't deny that i liked y/n for a long time but i obviously couldn't express that so i put them in letters. an idiot was an idiot and i'll never not take my chance

user80: okay that makes this whole thing so much cuter

user81: y/n is the definition of never letting your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband

landonorris: you're my best friend and i love you so much

yourusername: i'd go through all this mess and all this heartbreak again if it meant i still end up with you

landonorris: but i'm by your side forever now you can't get rid of me

yourusername: i wouldn't dream of it

user82: lord i have seen it all, please bless me with a relationship like this

danielricciardo: god you people are ridiculously cute

oscarpiastri: just think yourself lucky that you no longer share a garage with them

landonorris: we're not THAT bad

oscarpiastri: i have working ears

yourusername: sorry not sorry osc x

fin.

note: hope you all enjoyed. i am dying trying to do 75 soft but i also signed up for burlesque class !!

[ohmytyong]

mark me in your heart

PAIRING: drug dealer!mark x bartender!reader (female!reader)

GENRE: angst, smut, kinda friends with benefits au, bartender!renjun, best friend!renjun, action au, open-ended narrative

WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol, explicit description of drug use (don't do drugs kids), use of pet names, trust issues, explicit language, mentions of food, smoking, emotionally unavailable characters, both mark and y/n are kind of assholes, explicit sexual content, angry make-up sex, rough-ish sex, unprotected sex (!always use protection!), heavy make out, choking, lip biting, nipple play, pussy slapping, spitting, oral (both m and f receiving), degradation, praise, spanking, crying, hair pulling, incredibly cringey dirty talking, aftercare (?), not proofread (let me know if i missed any!)

WC: 13k (12,975)

‣[PLAYLIST]: 505 by arctic monkeys, bad omens by 5 seconds of summer, slow down by chase atlantic, why do you only call me when you’re high? by arctic monkeys, a little death by the neighborhood, okay by chase atlantic

SUMMARY: when a sensitive and broken heart meets another one of the same nature, their instinctive reaction is to seek comfort in each other, and in order to heal themselves, they both need to be equally strong and willing to put all their broken pieces back together. but sometimes, some hearts aren’t strong enough to be saved; the only way to save them is if the stronger heart of the two is willing to take the risk and try for the both of them, whatever it takes.

A/N: it's finally here! it took me too long to finish this one but here it is! i know it might seem a bit fast paced or vague in certain parts, but remember this is all about the vibes and i deeply hope that you will enjoy it and give it some love because it definitely needs it <3

read on wattpad / ao3

“Hey Renjun, pass me that glass” you said as you wiped the thick tall glass completely dry before you put it back on the shelf behind you. You were moving mechanically at this point, the exhaustion of the long night at the bar taking over your entire body. It was 5 in the morning and you had just barely managed to kick out some of the remaining drunk nobodies who were so wasted, that their toxic-infused brains couldn’t even give them the signals to move their own bodies.

Working at the bar wasn’t your dream job but it’s not as if you had a better choice. It was either a bartender or a stripper. Both of them sounded equally bad, so you decided to opt for the slightly better one. If you could even say it like that.

It wasn’t a particularly ideal job but it was enough to get you by. It earned you enough money to buy you food and pay the rent at the motel you were staying at, it got you as many free drinks as you needed to help your mind escape from all your worries and you also got to meet some relatively cool people, so that was somewhat good. The working hours weren’t such a big of an issue either, you couldn’t really sleep anyway. So you were fine with it.

Most nights, the bar usually closed at around 3 am. There wasn’t a set rule on this; it usually depended on how many customers there were and how much they were drinking. Your boss had suggested that you shouldn’t keep the bar open all night long, so you kinda decided that it was best to close a few hours after midnight. You weren’t complaining about this though; the sooner it closed, the more time you’d have to get high with your co-worker Renjun at the alleyway behind the bar.

Unfortunately, tonight luck wasn’t on your side, as a group of friends kept on drinking more and more as the hours passed by, which meant that you and Renjun had to keep the bar open until later. You weren’t opposed to this idea, it only meant that you would earn a little bit more money. It was Renjun who started complaining, so he decided to take action into his own hands and practically dragged the drunks out of the bar.

This is how you ended up cleaning up the place this late, rather this early in the morning, with your co-worker. The two of you were too tired to speak, so neither of you made any efforts to spark up a conversation. You both just attended to your respective tasks, waiting for a specific somebody to show up.

Luck surely wasn’t on your side tonight. He would usually show up at around 3:30 am, right after the bar closed, and he would have all the stuff ready, just at the exact moment you needed it. Why was he late today?

It didn’t take a genius to understand that Renjun was clearly affected by the lack of the stuff. He moved around the place nervously, tugging at his hair and stomping his foot rhythmically. He was in a desperate need of it, and you would honestly lie to yourself if you said you didn’t need it half as much as Renjun did.

You put the last clean glass on the shelf behind you and went over to the storage room to grab a broom, so that you could clean the floor a bit while Renjun was still wiping the bar counters. As soon as you closed the door of the storage room, the little bell that hung above the bar’s front door rang with a tinkle and soon after it followed the sound of the so familiar footsteps you were waiting for all night.

“Hey kids, Santa’s here,” his voice resonated in the empty room as he waved a small transparent plastic bag that looked white because of its content. Renjun threw the handkerchief he was holding to the other side of the counter and dramatically jumped over it to go and hug the male who just entered. All of that just at the sight of the clear plastic bag with the snowy content.

“Mark, what took you so long my guy, I’m literally a dead man walking! Give this beauty to me,” Renjun exclaimed and snatched the plastic bag straight out of Mark’s hand. Mark smirked at what Renjun said and immediately started grinning at the sight of the boy’s eagerness.

Renjun went to sit on the bar stool closer to him and placed the bag on top of the counter he had just wiped clean. With slender fingers, he opened the plastic bag and dredged some of the content on the counter. With nervousness in his movements, he set the bag aside and shuffled through his back pocket to find his ID card. He started scattering the white dust all over the counter before he gathered all of it in a straight line with the help of his ID card. When he was satisfied with the result, he put his ID card back into his pocket, lowered his head to the level that his nose touched the cold surface of the counter, took a deep breath and snorted the entire line of crack, the product going straight up into his nostrils.

Renjun blinked several times before he slowly lifted his head. He scrunched his nose and wiped it with the back of his hand, his drowsy eyes looking surprisingly bright considering his state. “Man, whoever hasn’t done crack, never, they haven’t known the beauty of life yet” he chuckled. Mark smirked at Renjun’s comment and you couldn’t help but shake your head amusingly, a small smile creeping up at your face.

Renjun took the plastic bag with the rest of the cocaine and put it in his pocket. “This baby’s for me, thank you,” he amused and turned his heel towards the storage room. “Don’t come look for me, I’ll be right here. If I take too long to come out, then you should be concerned,” he said and closed the storage room door behind him; a scene that was surprisingly quite familiar to you.

You then set the broom down and walked towards Mark. “Hey” you whispered and Mark greeted you back in a low husky voice. “What took you so long? We were expecting you to come earlier” you asked him.

Mark shrugged and leaned his elbow against the counter. “I came by at our usual meeting hour and saw that you guys were still open. I couldn’t risk anyone seeing me so I decided to drop by later,” he said and you nodded in understanding.

“You do have more of those plastic bags on you, don’t you?” you asked him and he chuckled. “Of course I do, pretty. Let’s go outside and treat ourselves a bit, shall we?�� he suggested and you nodded again, walking beside him towards the alleyway behind the bar.

The sky was painted in a deep hue of light blue, the moon and the stars still visible in the early morning sky, the sun barely seen in the horizon. You huffed in a sharp breath and put both your hands inside the pockets of your jeans as a reaction to the crispy air of the early morning, as you leaned your back on the damp wall behind you. Mark followed right after you and did the same. He shuffled into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a clear plastic bag full of crack, two crack pipes and a lighter. With almost automatic motions, he filled the pipes with crack and lit them up. He handed you one of them and kept one for himself.

You looked at the crack pipe as if it were an oasis in the middle of an infinite desert and you were so thirsty that your dried up mouth and throat were already relieved just by the sight of it. It only took you one second to react to the visual stimuli in front of you, quickly removing your right hand from your pocket and pulling the pipe straight from Mark’s hand. You brought the pipe to your lips, closed your eyes and took a long, slow drag. This was exactly what you needed.

You immediately felt your body relax and your mind clearing up. The moment you took the drag in, all your worries and problems completely vanished, even if it were only temporary. It was your brief sweet escape from the huge bitter world you were forced to live in.

A chilly breeze flew and you lifted your shoulders at the shivering sensation. Mark noticed immediately and he pulled you closer to him, removed one of the sleeves of his jacket and draped it over your shoulder, slinging his arm over it too.

"So," Mark spoke up, breaking the easing silence, "how was work today?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "Eh, like usual. Bunch of random people came in to drink their problems away and give us their money in exchange for adulterated alcohol. But Renjun had to drag some of them out of the bar, he literally grabbed them by their collar and feet and dragged them out of the store, you should have seen it. It was way too funny" you said and chuckled at the memory of the incident that happened a couple hours ago.

Mark giggled at your statement. "Damn," he dragged out the word, "too bad I missed that" he said and brought the crack pipe to his lips and squinted his eyes in pleasure and relief when he inhaled the poisonous content.

The next few minutes remained silent. There was only the sound of cars passing by being heard in the distance, it was probably people going to their early shifts at work. Normal types of work. Unlike the one you had, unlike the fate you brought upon yourself. That’s when the realization of your situation hit you like a truck. How could your family cut you off so easily when they found out that your dreams were different from what they were expecting of you? Were you just a tool for them? Another burden to take care of?

"You seem unhappy" Mark broke the silence. He was looking straight ahead in the distance, his eyes focusing on nothing in particular, probably because he was a bit too high to notice anything.

"Because I am" you responded to his comment, turning your head to look at him, searching for a sense of home into his soulless eyes.

Mark smirked and turned his attention to his heels. "You know, I wanna help. Right? You know that" he said with a raspy voice due to his sleeplessness. "But I don't think that feeding you drugs is any help" he now turned his head to look you in the eyes.

You pressed your lips into a thin line before you spoke. "I ask for the drugs Mark, you're not feeding me anything. It's my only escape, what else am I supposed to do?"

"I love you, Y/n" Mark said.

You winced at his confession and turned your head to avoid his gaze and fixating yours on the wide sky ahead of you.

"You're high, Mark. Cut the crap" you said in a bitter tone.

"Do you think I'm lying? I mean it, Y/n. I fucking love you, for whatever reason I do. And I care about you, so come with me and let's get out of this shitty town. I’m running out of time too, they’ll soon find where I live" Mark defended himself.

You turned again to meet his eyes. "And go where, Mark? Where the fuck should we go, huh? I don't have anything else to do other than this shitty job. I only keep it because I need the money to survive and it's the only way to keep myself sane. The people I used to call family kicked me out of my house and this was the easiest solution I could come up with before I would collapse entirely and before it would become too difficult to get back on my own feet. So what else is left for me to do?" you were clearly getting angrier now, but not at Mark. At yourself.

Mark's eyes darkened in sadness. "That's what I'm saying! You deserve better than this! Look, we have enough money. I do deals, but I know this is a job I can't have forever. I told you, I’m on thin ice. If I’m seen doing deals again, I’ll go to jail. You know I play the guitar, right? I can join a band or something. I know a friend downtown, he might be of help" he said.

"And you," he continued, "you're a great bartender. You could make a career out of it" he said.

You shut your eyelids and shook your head in denial. "It won't work out. I'm a mess, you're a mess. We can't make this work. It's impossible" you said, turning your head away.

Mark sat up straight and put his hand below your chin to turn your attention towards him. "Look at me, Y/n. We can make it work. Believe me. Trust me. I can't leave you living like this. And I certainly can't live a life like this myself. You're the only person I can make a change with. I need you" he said.

You gulped and stared right into his eyes, unable to form a response. "So you just need me as a means to get you out of town and help you start your magical new life. No thanks, Mark, I'll pass" you said and shoved his hand away to release his grip on you.

Mark became frustrated and moved to stand right in front of you. The half of his jacket that was wrapped around your shoulders dropped and it hung behind his back.

"Okay, look Y/n, you're tired and you're high. We'll have this conversation again in the morning" Mark said defeated.

Your energy was running low despite the boost of energy you had just inhaled, so you let yourself loose. "Let's get you back to your room. You need some rest. Come on, I'll drop you off" Mark suggested and you gave in to him completely.

You took a step towards him and stumbled a bit. Mark, with his rapid reflexes, caught you firmly by the forearm and guided you to his car. The last thing you remembered was the faint sound of the car door closing, before you were engulfed into pretty sleep.

The next day you woke up to the sound of light guitar strumming from across the dim lit motel room. It was already past noon; the curtains were still drawn closed but the midday sun rays found their way in between the curtain folds and peaked through the dirty motel room windows to light up the inside of the place.

Mark was sitting on a wooden chair across the bed with a concentrated look on his face. With his jaw clenched and his cheekbones popping, he strum his fingers through the guitar strings, playing random chords in an attempt to create a melody he liked.

You shuffled between the bedsheets and stretched your body all over the old bed. A squeaky sound echoed in the room due to your sudden movement, which caught Mark’s attention. His strumming stopped abruptly and his head jolted up in surprise, his eyes opened wide and his lips dropped to a pout.

“Did I wake you up? Shit, I’m sorry” he whispered, trying to be as quiet as possible.

You rubbed your eyes to clear your vision and looked at him. “No, you didn’t. I like what you’re playing. Sounds pretty” you reassured him. “Good morning, Mark”

His previously guilty expression was taken over by a wide grin appearing on his face, which turned into a bright smile. “Good morning, pretty,” he said.

You smiled at him and he went back on strumming random chords on his guitar. His eyebrows scrunched in concentration and you couldn’t help but giggle at the sight of his messy hair and wrinkly t-shirt due to the, apparently, good quality sleep he just had. Your obsessive thoughts took over once again and didn’t let you enjoy this glimpse of happiness in the abyss of misery you were engulfed in. Your lips gradually dropped to a frown and your vision became blurry again.

Mark wasn’t perfect, but neither were you. He came into your life at the perfect moment, when you needed him the most. It was your first day at the bar, your first time as a bartender. Renjun had been training you all day, teaching you the basic parts of the job and giving you tips on how to handle weird or creepy customers. You were completely drained out that day, so your co-worker and soon-to-be best friend had promised you a pleasant surprise by the end of your shift.

Renjun’s definition of a “pleasant surprise” was slightly different from yours. That night, Mark walked into the empty bar with steps full of confidence. You didn’t know him back then, but from the very first second you saw his figure enter your life, there was only one word that kept circulating your mind; trouble.

Mark was trouble. With his sharp gaze and well-defined features, captivating aura and assertive moves, it was more than obvious that this guy would mean nothing but trouble to you. For some inexplicable reason, this was exactly why you were instantly attracted to him.

Mark came in carrying all the usual stuff Renjun wanted and gave them over to him without talking much. The two guys seemed to share a lot of past memories together, and you were right. Renjun had filled you in later that night on his relationship with Mark and how they helped each other stand back up on their own feet after they were forced to leave home. A story very familiar to you.

Mark came by the bar every single night. He didn’t give Renjun drugs every time, but he sure enjoyed both your and Renjun’s company. It’s not as if he had anywhere else to go.

That’s how you grew quite fond of him very easily. You found yourself looking forward to the end of your shift just so you could see him. He once offered you drugs but immediately took back his offer when he saw your shocked expression. You were at the lowest point in your life and doing drugs wouldn’t be the wisest habit to take up, even though this was, at the same time, the exact reason why you should do drugs. Eventually, reality hit you and you caved in, waiting for Mark to come at the end of your shift for one more reason other than just seeing him. He was reluctant at first. Mark didn’t want to drag you into this lifestyle, so you annoyed him and begged for it until he finally gave you the lethal medicine.

You and Mark were surprisingly very similar. Maybe that’s why you bonded so fast with each other. And maybe that’s exactly why you were equally bad for each other. You could see so much of yourself in him, just at a more put-together version. Sure, he was a drug dealer, which was certainly not a better job than yours, but he at least seemed to have a purpose in his life. Unlike you.

As time passed, you started spending more and more time with him. You would smoke crack, get high, talk endlessly until your mouths dried up, go back to your motel room, have sex with each other, and repeat. You found comfort in his presence and became attached to him without even noticing.

But you didn’t love him. No, you couldn’t call this love. Rather, you were depending on him, no matter how much you hated that. He acted as an emotional support beacon to you, you enjoyed his company and, if you were honest, you genuinely liked him. But it was hard for you to admit to any deeper feelings, so you repeatedly tried to convince yourself that you didn’t love him, so that it wouldn’t hurt as much if he ever decided to switch on you. You hoped it wouldn’t turn out like that.

You lightly shook your head to get rid of all these thoughts and got out of bed to wash up a bit. “I’m starving, I’ll go down to the diner to grab some breakfast, do you want anything?” you asked Mark as you were heading towards the humid bathroom.

“Let’s go eat there. Together” Mark suggested and you stopped at your steps.

He always avoided going out in places that were too public because he was at risk of being outed as a dealer. Especially now that he was caught selling drugs once and the guy who saw him threatened to report Mark to the police.

“Are you out of your fucking mind? You’re on thin ice, you said that yourself” you raised the tone of your voice and walked towards him. 

Mark put down his guitar to focus on you. “You worry too much Y/n, like, what are the odds? We’re in the middle of nowhere, I doubt anyone knows this place apart from us and the customers of your bar. I think we’ll be fine,” he cleared his throat, “I mean, I’ll be fine. Relax, I wanna spend some time with you.”

You decided against protesting and trusted Mark’s certainty of his words. Besides, he was right. The diner was out of town, it wasn’t very popular among people who weren’t familiar with the bar. Most customers at the diner were either drunk people from the bar or passersby. So you simply just nodded and whispered a soft “okay” before you went inside the bathroom, the door emitting a creaking sound as you closed it shut behind you.

The screeching sound of the fork scratching the surface of the porcelain plate turned your facial expression into a wince, which went completely unnoticed by Mark whose attention was entirely devoted to the pancakes in front of him.

The old diner was relatively empty despite it being lunch time. Other than you and Mark, there was only a group of friends and a guy sitting on a barstool. You were actually very satisfied with the quietness of the place, which was only disrupted by sounds of forks scraping plates and glasses thudding on the tables.

The diner was situated right down the same road your motel was at, so anytime your stomach growled in annoyance you would stop by and fulfill its needs. You were practically a regular customer now and probably the one who kept the place from going bankrupt. It was old, cheap and dirty; the perfect place for you.

Mark gulped down the last bite of his pancakes and thirstily drank the entire glass of water. He then set the glass down and leaned back on the booth, fixating his gaze on you.

You noticed his eager eyes on you and you set down your fork, mimicking his stance and staring right back at him, waiting for him to speak.

"That was a pretty good meal" Mark sighed and you smiled a bit. This wasn't what he wanted to say.

Since Mark seemed to be unwilling to speak his mind, you decided to take matters into your own hands instead.

"Why did you want to have lunch with me?" you asked him with your voice calm and your eyes searching for an answer in his.

Mark crossed his arms and scrunched up his nose before he answered your question. "’Cause I wanted to spend time with you. Actual time. You know, like normal people?" he said.

You rolled your eyes at his response and mimicked his body language once again, crossing your arms over your chest. "I don't buy it, Mark" you said.

Mark sat up straight and leaned closer to the table, resting his elbows on top of it. "Why are you always like this, Y/n? Whenever I tell you something, you never believe me! What's up with you?" Mark's frustration started building up in his attempt to defend himself.

"It's not that I don't believe you-"

"It's that you don't trust me" Mark interrupted you and you stood there with your mouth still open. You didn't know what to say.

Mark's gaze was piercing, his sharp eyes were darker than usual and his lips quivered at the blank stare you were giving him. "You don't trust me," he concluded.

The truth is that you weren't sure if you trusted him or not. You wanted to trust him and he had proved to you numerous times that he was someone who cared and didn't lie. Yet sometimes, you were afraid that if you trusted him too much, he would end up hurting you. So every time he said something you weren't expecting him to say, you immediately assumed that he was lying.

"Mark, listen to me," you started to say and Mark sat back against the booth, rolling his eyes. "I-I do trust you, it's just that-"

"What? You think I don't mean what I say? If I didn't meant what I fucking said then I wouldn't fucking say it! When I say I care about you, Y/n, I fucking mean it. When I say I fucking love y-"

"Don't get mad" you were the one that interrupted him now. Mark was clearly way too frustrated by you now, his voice was getting gradually louder, his eyes were full of fire and his nostrils were fuming.

At the sudden raise of Mark’s voice, the guy who was sitting at the barstool turned to look at your booth with a brief glance and then returned back to eating his food.

"Mark, just let it go, please" your voice came out almost like a whisper. You hated when Mark became angry at you and you hated it even more when he did it in public, even though it was practically just you and him in that diner.

Mark's jaw visibly relaxed and he lowered his eyes to his lap, nodding to himself. He lifted his head to look back at you with pleading eyes, much in contrast with his previous fiery gaze.

"Then why don't you come with me? Out of this fucking town? You deserve to live a better life than this. We deserve it. Look, I know I don't have an exact plan on how we'll do it, but I know that we can figure it out together. Please, Y/n" he said, taking your hand in his from across the table, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb.

You lowered your eyes at the spot your hands were joined together. Did you really love Mark? No, actually, did you really trust him enough to depend your entire life on him?

You couldn't give him an answer at that moment. Not a yes, not a no. Not even I don't know. Forget that, it would complicate things even more.

Mark noticed that you weren't going to give him an answer to his question soon, so he let go of your hand and started putting on his jacket. He reached into the inside pocket and took out some cash. He slammed it on the table and got up from the booth ready to leave.

"I have to go to work now, alright? I've arranged some deals. I'll come back later at the bar tonight. If you ever decide what you want to do with me, you know where to find me" he said and without even turning to look at him, you heard the sound of his footsteps grow fainter as he walked out the diner.

The bar was relatively full tonight. From behind the counter, you could spot only two empty tables. That was the fullest the bar has been in the last month. At the far back of the bar, you spotted Renjun already counting the tips he had earned and it was still midnight.

All the customers were busy chatting and enjoying their drinks. You found yourself craving some alcohol too, the need for an intoxicant substance was growing stronger and stronger, so you decided to mix just a little bit of something to treat yourself.

As you were filling in your glass, Renjun walked behind the counter and leaned close to your ear to speak, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to hear him through the loud chatting of the customers. “Man, I think we are in heaven, I lost count of my tips and I’m not even high yet” he said and you giggled at him.

He noticed the bottle of vodka you were holding and nudged you on your forearm. “Hey, pour me some of that too” he asked and your response was to grab a glass from the shelf behind the counter and fill it with the toxic liquid.

You had barely stopped filling in the glass when Renjun grabbed it and downed the liquid in an instant. He placed the glass on top of the counter with a thud and licked his lips, savoring the bitter taste. “What’s up with you and Mark?” Renjun asked you. You contemplated whether you should answer him or pretend you didn’t hear him just to buy you some time. A good couple of seconds passed so you just caved in and answered him.

“I don’t know. Go and ask him.” you said in a tone filled with nonchalance, sipping on your drink.

Renjun rested his elbows on the counter, his eyes scanning the place around him. “He said the exact same fucking thing when I asked him about you. You can’t be running in a vicious circle all the time. Just fuck it out, you’re both acting like little kids” he said and you sighed at his scolding tone.

Renjun wasn’t just your co-worker, he had also grown to become your best friend, a person you could talk to freely without fear of judgment because he always understood your intentions. Engulfed in your misery and loneliness, he was the person who helped you get back on your feet and have hope that things will somehow get slightly better. That sounds like something a friend would do.

You brought the glass to your lips to drink the last sip of vodka that was still inside, leaving it empty waiting to be filled with more of that toxic liquid. “You wanna know what, Renjun? Even though I hate the life I’ve made for myself, I enjoy having Mark in it. But I can’t do what he asks me to do. I can’t depend my entire life on him. I can count on him for some of it, yes, but starting anew with him? I don’t know. I really don’t. I’m not the kind of person you want to start a life with. I will fuck everything up. And he shouldn’t count on me as much as he does. It’s for the better. For both of us.”

Renjun kept staring at you, waiting for your little rant to be over so that he could take his turn to speak. He gulped and looked at your burnt out figure. Your eyeballs were turning a bit crimson due to the line of cocaine you snorted earlier, even though you promised you’d wait until Mark came later, and the lack of sleep provided you with dark hues under your eyes and skin as pale as the moon. 

“Look, Y/n,” Renjun started and came a bit closer to you so that he wouldn’t have to strain his vocal chords in order to be heard, “I see your point. And I understand exactly what you mean because I felt the same way when I came here. But in my case, I had nobody to lean on. I became an addict, left home and the rest of the story is familiar to you. But you and Mark have each other and, trust me, your future is looking way brighter than mine.”

You looked into his eyes searching for honesty. Renjun has always been honest with you and you never doubted any of his words. He really cared about you. Mark too, as it seemed. And he was right. Living in a cheap motel, starving and working long hours to barely make ends meet, depending on drugs and more specifically on an exceptionally lovely drug dealer wasn’t the life you imagined to have. But fate had different plans for you and now you ended up here, whatever this here is supposed to be.

Mark didn’t seem to be ill-intentioned. From the very first moment you met him, he was protective and caring, he had always treated you nice. He spoke to you softly and touched you in a just as smooth way. But the life he was living wasn’t that much better than yours; in fact, you could say it was even worse. He depended on you as much as you depended on him.

You didn’t know what was the thing that made you keep a sort of distance from him. Emotional distance. Part of it might be because you weren’t available to be fully devoted to him, because of fear that one day he would leave you, just like everyone else did. Part of it might be because the two of you weren’t so different and two broken souls mending together doesn’t necessarily make a fully healed one.

“I’ll talk to him when I’m ready. I could do it later but I’m afraid I’ll be too high to think rationally. Or maybe this will give me more insight, I don’t know, I’ve never thought of it. Do you think clearer when you’re high?” you asked Renjun but he was preoccupied, looking at the screen of his phone which radiated such brightness his eyes squinted as a reflex.

Scanning his features more carefully, you realized that the reason for his scrunched expression wasn’t lying solely on the brightness of the screen. You took half a step closer to him and Renjun tilted his phone away from you, hiding the screen from your eyesight.

“What’s wrong, Renjun?” you asked with worry lacing the tone of your voice. Renjun shook his head and put his phone away in his back pocket. “Mark won’t be coming by later. Something came up, I’m afraid we’re in trouble too. Listen, can you handle the bar for a couple hours by yourself? Mark needs some help” Renjun said, searching for his jacket underneath the counter.

Your eyes widened at Renjun’s words and you felt your heartbeat racing and your fingertips trembling. “Is Mark okay? Tell me, is he okay?” your rising voice quivered, betraying the nervousness you felt.

Renjun squeezed your shoulder and pressed his lips together in an attempt of a reassuring smile. “Yes, he is alright. He’s fine. He just needs some help with the cops. If you see anyone suspicious showing up, flash the stashes down the toilet, we don’t want them finding anything. I’ll be back soon.” 

With swift movements, Renjun turned his heel to walk out the bar in a hurry, muttering something under his breath that, due to your shocked and nervous state, you failed to hear, “How am I gonna save your ass this time, Mark?”

As soon as you heard the bell on top of the bar’s front door tinkle, you knew that Renjun was already outside and you were left alone in the bar. You were left standing frozen behind the counter, staring into nothingness. Your vision became blurry due to the tears that threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes, your hands curled into fists and your nails were digging deep into your palms, cold sweat forming at the sides of your forehead.

You were terrified. Mark was already caught selling drugs very recently, so your mind went to the worst case scenario which made you extremely terrified; that Mark was caught selling drugs by the police. 

You dreaded this moment at the exact same time your eyes met Mark’s sharp ones. You knew that, once you became thick as thieves with a drug dealer, you would be in for a lot of trouble. 

But you also knew how careful Mark was and this gave you hope that, whatever the case is right now, he would find a way to get himself out of there. Mark was a smart guy. You wanted to trust him, you wanted to believe that he would be smart enough not to get himself in trouble.

Yet something didn’t add up. Mark has been doing these types of deals for a long time now, he knew all the tricks of the job and he knew very well how to protect himself. So it sounded almost impossible that he would do something so reckless and irresponsible to get him caught. 

There was only one possible and logical answer to all of your questions. That somebody ratted him out.

Your train of thought was disrupted by the husky voice of a man. “Excuse me, miss, would you mind pouring me a drink?”

Your head snapped at the sudden sound of a voice other than the one inside your head. Your eyes met with a man sitting on a barstool at the other side of the counter, looking at you with wary eyes. Your gaze was roaming all over his figure when your eyes halted for a second as soon as they spotted something shiny at the right side of the man’s chest; a badge.

You cleared your throat to cover up the anxiety and fear that started to appear in your voice. “Officer! What can I get you?” you greeted him with bright eyes and a cheerful voice that masked your intense heartbeat and the trembling state of your hands behind the counter.

“Actually, I don’t want a drink,” he started and moved his hand inside his jacket to pull out a file with pictures and papers, “but I do want you to help me with something. Have you ever seen this guy?” he asked you, placing the file on the counter and turning it to your side.

You gulped at the sight in the front of you and your eyes quivered from side to side. A mugshot of the face you grew to almost love was staring back at you. Sharp gaze and popping cheekbones, defined jawline and dark eyes were presented in front of you and you knew more than well enough who the person in the picture was.

Your heart sank at the sight of Mark’s mugshot and you knew what you had to do. You drew in your eyebrows together and lifted the picture with your hand in order to bring it closer to your eyes and examine it better. “I don’t think I recognize this man, officer” you said.

You set the picture down on top of the counter and looked at the police officer, not trying to avoid eye contact. You wanted to seem as less guilty as possible.

The police officer took the picture and put it back inside the file. “Really? That’s a shame. But I’ve been informed that you do know this guy because you were seen with him this morning.”

You froze immediately. Your brain tried to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, you tried to digest and connect everything the cop just said in order to form your answer.

“Are you sure about this, officer? A lot of other girls look like me, maybe it was a mistake?” you asked with a rising intonation in an attempt to defend yourself by adding another lie to your previous one.

You tried to remember where you could be possibly seen with Mark, especially during the day. You always met with him at night and you avoided seeing each other in the morning. There was no way anyone saw you with Mark.

The moment you had this thought, the answer to your question suddenly popped up in your head as if a lit up light bulb. That morning, you and Mark had breakfast down at the diner. And you specifically remember that suspicious guy who kept staring at the two of you.

That’s when you knew you had to do something drastic to get you out of this situation, and you had to do it relatively fast.

The police officer didn’t seem to buy the lie you had just uttered and continued to pressure you more. “Is this where you keep all the drinks? Can I take a look inside your storage room?”

The rhythm of your heartbeat kept increasing more and more by each word the police officer said and you were running out of lies and excuses.

“Sure, it’s this way officer” you said with a nonchalant tone, gesturing towards the door behind the counter. 

The cop stood up and turned his heel to walk behind the counter and towards the storage room door. Your trembling hands had barely managed to hide the stashes you kept behind the cash register under your oversized shirt, and you followed the cop inside the storage room with uncertain steps.

The police officer could not find the rest of the stashes. It shouldn’t happen, and you had to act smart in order to prevent it. “Can I help you with something, officer? We can’t stay in here for too long, my co-worker finished early and we’re not allowed to leave the bar without having anyone to tend to the customers” you said in an attempt to speed up the process and get rid of him before he could find anything that could put you in jail.

“You can go back to your work, miss. This is my job here, you can go and do yours” the cop said as he had already taken a bottle of vodka in his hand to examine it for anything suspicious.

“Okay, I just wanted to help. Call me if you need anything,” your answer was convincing enough for him, but it wasn’t good enough for you to buy you more time.

You left the storage room and stood right outside the door, leaving it so open as to let you peek through it so that you were able to see what the police officer was doing.

With your still trembling fingers, you took out your phone from your pocket and dialed Renjun’s number with quick movements. Without taking your eyes away from the cop, you kept tapping your foot waiting for Renjun to pick up his phone.

The constant beeping sound in your ear signaled that Renjun wasn’t going to respond soon, so you put your phone back in your pocket and tried to think of what to do.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you muttered under your breath, running your fingers through your hair. Your eyes were wavering from the police officer to the customers in the bar and then back to the police officer. You had to do something to get everyone out of there.

Your eyes followed the cop’s figure and certainly didn’t like what you were seeing. The cop squatted down so that he could reach the boxes under the shelves and stretched his arm to pull out one of them.

“No, no, no, fuck” you whispered. Those are the boxes in which you hid the drugs.

You turned your head to look at the inside of the bar. It was fully packed. There was not any chair or barstool that was empty and, just at that moment, the door opened to reveal a group of friends who wanted to get drunk and have fun just like the rest of the people inside the bar.

The only person who wasn’t having any fun right now was you. And obviously Mark and Renjun as well, who you had no idea about their whereabouts or their well-being. On any random night, all these people in the bar would equal a pretty satisfactory amount of tips that would make your life slightly easier to get by. However, you could definitely not say that for this particular night, when your main priority was your and your friends’ safety.

Shifting your gaze from the customers to the police officer and back to your phone for any missed calls or unread messages from either Renjun or Mark, you were completely on your own on this one. Cold sweat engulfed your entire body as the seconds passed and the cop was one step closer to finding the thing that could turn your entire life upside down.

You swallowed thickly and looked at your phone one last time. No sign of anybody.

“Okay, I got this” you muttered to yourself and walked behind the counter where you usually stood. A middle-aged woman was sitting on one of the barstools, smoking and sipping lightly from the cocktail you mixed for her earlier. You picked up the first bottle of alcohol you saw on the counter - you didn’t have the time to care what it was - and walked towards her.

“Excuse me, miss, would you like a refill?” you asked politely to gain her attention. Before she even opened her mouth to speak, your actions were faster than her words. You quickly snatched the cigarette from her hand and put it out on the counter, immediately pouring some alcohol right on that spot.

Soon enough, flames started building up and the counter caught on fire. The smell of smoke became suffocating and it was hard to breathe in such a small space full of people. Your plan worked.

Muttering a string of “sorrys” to the woman, you turned around to pull the fire alarm. Every customer turned their heads to the direction of the piercing sound full of worry. “Everyone must get out, the building is on fire!” you yelled as loudly as you could, motioning everyone out the door.

Very quickly, you managed to evacuate the building by leading all the panicked customers outside the bat through the front door. In the midst of all this chaos, you noticed with the corner of your eye the police officer you rushed out of the storage room without looking any scared at all. 

You ushered the last customers outside as the fire grew bigger, eventually leaving you and the cop as the only ones inside the flaming place. As he passed by you to get out the bar, he leaned closer to your face and whispered. "That was smart, young lady," he said and walked outside towards his car.

So he knew, you thought. He knew all along about the drug deals happening in this place and mainly the drug possession. He almost tricked you into thinking you tricked him. How amateurish of you.

You walked out the bar and shut the door behind you, watching the police officer drive away. A sigh of temporary relief escaped your lips and you pulled out your phone to dial a phone number you weren't particularly happy to call. Waiting for a few seconds, you heard the dreadful voice on the other line. "Hey boss, um, is it easy for you to come down to the bar? We kinda have a small problem" you said with a rapidly beating heart.

The time was already 3:16. You were pacing around your motel room, patiently waiting for any news about Mark. You had already called and texted him multiple times, but all of your efforts to reach him went in vain.

A few minutes after you called your boss, she arrived at the bar, totally shocked and deeply saddened upon seeing her not-so-small business all up in flames. You explained to her what happened, shaping the story so as not to sound guilty, and luckily she didn't blame you for anything.

After the firefighters arrived, your boss encouraged you to go home, saying that you already went through a lot for the night, so you needed to get some rest.

So now you were back to your motel room, unable to get some rest because you were still scared about yourself and your previous interaction with that police officer. But most importantly, you were anxious about Mark.

You were terrified for him. And your fear only increased because you couldn’t do anything to help him or save him. You realized that you depended on him twice as much as he depended on you and that made you feel useless in situations like this. Knowing that Renjun was - probably - with him eased your nerves a bit, but, at the same time, knowing that you didn’t do anything to help him made you feel selfish and hopeless.

Everything you did tonight was to save no one else but yourself. The entire night, you kept worrying about yourself and how you could avoid going to jail when during those very same moments in time you had no idea how Mark was or what he was going through.

Mark wasn’t the helpless one in this situation; it was you.

As you picked up your phone to call Renjun again, a loud thumping noise on the door startled you. Your body jolted up upon hearing the sudden sound and you walked nervously towards the door to look outside through the peephole.

Your eyes widened in shock and surprise at the sight of the face that was constantly on your mind. You didn’t waste any time opening the door and pulling the boy you were aching to see all night long inside the motel room, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

You rested your head in the crook of Mark’s neck and he reacted to your touch in an instant, stretching his arms to the small of your back to hug you as tightly as he physically could.

Tears fell from the corners of your eyes and you pulled back just as much as you needed in order to look into Mark’s exhausted eyes without breaking the embrace. “You can’t imagine how scared I was,” you whispered.

Mark stared deeply into your watery eyes. He moved his hands to cup both of your cheeks and nodded his head when he processed what you just said. “I know, I was terrified too. Renjun came to help me but we kinda fucked it up" he said with a stinging tone in his voice. 

“What happened?” you asked and Mark let go of you and walked towards the bed in the middle of the room, sitting on the edge of it. You copied his movements and sat down right next to him, turning your head to his side as you waited for him to fill you in on what you had missed.

“That bastard ratted me out. That asshole from the diner. I had a deal with some teenagers and he called the cops on me. I don’t even know how he tracked me down.” Mark confessed looking straight, his eyes full of void, focusing on nothing in particular. 

“Anyway, they took me to the police station and started questioning me about all this bullshit. There was no way I could excuse myself, they literally busted me, they saw me doing the deals. I texted Renjun and, I don’t know what he said to them but it didn't go well," he stopped to take a deep breath despite the desert that formed inside his mouth and the waterfalls that were forming in the corners of his eyes, "so we basically ran away and sooner or later the police will find me. I had nowhere else to go and I knew that your place would be relatively safe." Mark finished reciting you the events of the last few hours, tears staining his cheeks like the raindrops of a drizzle.

The dried tears that stained your cheeks became wet again when the new set of them fell down your face. You were staring at Mark through your teary gaze, trying to find any emotion in his void expression. He had never looked so soulless and it terrified you even more.

But the truth is that Mark himself was trying to mask his fear and anxiety by not showing them. The tears that traveled from his bambi eyes down to his popping cheekbones felt empty and the sight of him in such a state brought a stinging pain to your heart.

“So w-what does that mean?” your voice trembled at each word you uttered as you faced Mark with nothing but fear and another emotion that, at that moment, resembled love.

Mark made an attempt to wipe most of the tears off his face with the palms of his hands so that he could face you with clear vision. “It means I might go to jail. I will go to jail, unless I get out of here” he said. “Fuck, those bastards gave me an excuse to leave this fucking place” Mark scoffed as he sat up from the bed and started roaming around the narrow room, hands resting on his waist.

Your eyes trailed on every single one of his moves. You blinked several times to prevent any more tears from falling and cleared your throat to avoid your hoarse trembling voice. “So you’re really leaving” you said quietly, more to yourself than to Mark.

Mark turned around to look at you. “Yeah, I am. First thing in the morning. I don’t have many things to pack so it won’t take me long. And I can help you pack your things too, it will be quicker if-”

“Who said I’m coming with you?” you interrupted Mark and you immediately regretted doing so once you met his fuming gaze, which was now completely taken over by anger but was previously filled with nothing but emptiness.

“Y/n, we agreed to this. You’re coming with me and that’s it.” Mark growled as he took a step closer to you.

You stood up and started walking nervously around the place you called home, running your fingers through your hair in an attempt to ease your nerves. “We never agreed to anything. I told you I can’t-”

“Bullshit, that’s what you told me. Everything you said is bullshit. I want nothing but the best for you, we’ve been meaning to do this for such a long time and now that we have every reason to leave, you don’t want to! What’s wrong with you Y/n?” Mark clapped back at you.

A tear dropped down to your feet as you looked at Mark’s reddening face. Your lips trembled in your attempt to voice out your feelings, unfamiliar to your vulnerable state. “I’m scared, Mark,” you paused to sniff your nose, “I’m so fucking scared. For you, for me, for everything.”

Mark’s features softened at your sudden confession. He remained silent, gesturing to you to move on.

It was hard and unusual for you to open up to him like this. You hated the fact that he made you weak, that he had such a strong effect on you to make you eventually do as he says. But there was always this evil little voice in your head that told you not to trust him because, in the end, he would act just like everyone else and leave you.

“Do you know how scared I was tonight? I almost risked my fucking life for you! I had no idea where you were, I didn’t know what happened or why, and you know why? Because you never tell me anything! You only care about yourself,” all your fears and anxieties exploded and the outburst was so big you didn’t know how to stop. And you couldn’t stop even when you took a glimpse of Mark’s furrowed eyebrows and frowned lips, which you couldn’t tell if they were the result of sadness or anger.

You didn’t want to hurt him. But at this state, you couldn’t remain silent anymore. It wasn’t Mark’s fault, but you had reached a point where you couldn’t bottle up anything you felt anymore, so he just had to take everything you said.

You took a deep breath before you licked your dry lips to speak again in a calmer but still bitter tone. “If only you would disappear from my life I would-”

You never completed your sentence because Mark dashed towards you and grabbed you by the neck, squeezing the sides just so, so you could breathe a little bit, his face only a couple inches away from yours. “Shut the fuck up” Mark spat out with a growl which immediately kept you quiet.

His blackened eyes were piercing right through you, his fully black pupils bore into your wavering ones. You stood frozen there, completely locked in your place under Mark’s forceful hold on you, a position which made your lower stomach twitch.

Neither of you spoke for a few seconds. Mark’s face was painted in crimson, his eyebrows fully drawn in together and his nostrils flaring out, as he tried to keep his breathing steady. His angry state scared you even more; not because he would hurt you, but because he could hurt himself. Behind the mask of the angry man he presented himself as, you were the only one who could see the sad little boy who wanted nothing else from you but to love and trust him.

With Mark’s hand still pressing on your neck, your voice barely came out when you tried to speak. “Mark please, say someth-”

Mark interrupted you once again by smashing his lips on yours with the same force he held you under him and the same desperation he hid behind his bloody gaze. You didn’t waste a second, responding in an instant to him, moving your lips to the pace and rhythm he settled. You slightly parted your lips to allow him access to deepen it even more, as he slid his tongue in your mouth to dance with yours.

His presence and strong grip was too much to endure, so you stretched your arms to grab his hair. Mark sensed your need for more support, so he lessened the pressure on your neck and moved his free arm to the small of your back.

The previously quiet room was filled with the lewd sounds of your lips and tongues and the soft grunts and whimpers that left your lips in between each violent connection between them. You hadn’t realized how much you needed Mark, how much you had missed his touch and his burning essence on you until this very moment. Your body reacted to him almost immediately, as you felt your blood flow from your heart down to your aching core.

The heated argument from earlier was now completely forgotten and transformed into a passionate battlefield between two broken souls. Mark's crack infused breath, the bitter taste of alcohol on his dry lips and the lust overtaking his brain and controlling his actions electrified your entire body. There was not a single part of you that didn't want Mark, that didn't desire him and you couldn't help but want more of him.

Your brain, too foggy from the bold emotions and the alcohol you had consumed earlier, couldn't work properly, so your primal instincts took over you entirely. You kept kissing Mark while biting on his lower lip, which resulted in low whines coming out of him, his hardening length growing more inside the pressure of his pants.

You could sense him struggling to keep his cool and you were trying to give yourself some friction too by rubbing your thighs together. You reached your hand down to Mark's pants, cupping his dick outside the thick fabric of his jeans, the teasing action causing him to roll back his eyes.

Mark stopped kissing you abruptly and without wasting any time, he threw you on the bed with all his strength, watching you with hungry eyes. You plopped down on the bed, the sheets creasing at the sudden force and you looked at him with a lustfull gaze that invited him in.

"Wanna fuck you so dumb right now" Mark growled lowly as he took off his shirt from the back of his neck in a swift motion and continued to unbuckle his belt, his eyes never leaving your pleading ones.

You followed along, removing your own shirt and shorts, lying in bed only in your underwear. Mark had now discarded himself completely off of all his clothes except from his boxers, which had an undeniably visible precum stain on them.

Mark's body hovered above yours, connecting his lips with yours for a brief moment before he pulled back to attack your neck, biting and nipping on the spot right under your ear, which earned a loud gasp from you.

His lips kept on abusing your neck area, as you locked your fingers in his hair, tugging and pulling at it with every bite on your neck and chest. The hot sensation of his lips, tongue and wet saliva all over your body made you whimper under him, a sound that made his cock twitch inside his underwear.

Mark traveled lower down to your chest. He slipped his hand behind your back to undo your bra, removing the bra straps off your shoulders eagerly and tossing the piece of clothing somewhere in the dirty motel room. He was quick to attack your hard nipples, dropping his head to suck on one of them, and reaching the other one with his hand, twisting and rubbing it between his fingers.

Your moans and whimpers echoed in the room, the sound and smell of your bodily fluids polluted the small space, everything about the inside of the place being purely filthy.

The heat in your body kept rising and you could feel the stickiness in your panties. You wanted Mark, all of him. You wanted him to treat you however he wanted to, you wanted to please him by giving him all of you and you wanted to feel desired by him.

"Please Mark," you breathed in a soft moan, "please fuck me" your face reddened in your pathetic confession, but it didn't seem to stop Mark from ripping your panties apart, leaving your dripping cunt exposed to the dirty cold air of the room.

Your drowsy eyes and rapid breathing fueled Mark and all his inner needs, as he lifted his body off yours and parted your legs with his hands, pushing your thighs apart. You were breathing heavily in anticipation of his next move, which was a sharp slap to your pussy that sent a strong bolt of pleasure through your whole body. You moaned in pleasure and surprise and Mark repeated his action at the sound of your whiny moans.

"You're a pathetic little slut after all, aren't you?" Mark lowered his head and spat on your pussy, which had you clenching around nothing. "Look at you, begging to be fucked" he brushed one finger up and down your clit, just enough to tease you and elicit a sharp intake of breath from you. "You really pissed me off, you know?" he muttered.

"Please Mark, I want you. I need you so bad, please fuck me" you whined with a high-pitched voice, the one you knew that Mark could never resist, as you pouted your lips at him.

Mark rested his hands on your knees, holding your legs as far apart as possible, so as to have full access to your glistening cunt. His dark eyes were filled with nothing but hunger and lust, unable to control himself any longer from how bad he wanted to taste you. He lowered his head even further, brushing his lips over your clit.

"As you wish, princess" he mumbled to your wet core before he attacked your swollen bud, licking and sucking on your clit with absolutely no remorse.

A loud moan escaped from your lips at the abrupt touch of Mark's wet tongue on your pussy, your hands intertwining in his hair, grabbing and pulling at every licking stripe Mark left on you.

He kept on licking and sucking on your clit, mumbling sweet nothings and small praises, which reminded you more of the Mark you knew rather than the cold and hungry man that was presented in front of you a few minutes ago.

The lewd sounds of Mark's lips and tongue on your pussy mixed with your whiny moans turned him on to the fullest, as he pulled one of his hands away from your knee and dropped it down to slowly pump his dick underneath his underwear.

The burning desire rising up in his body was becoming too much for him, so he pulled away from your clit with one last sucking pop and took off his underwear, setting free his painfully hard length.

Mark positioned himself between your legs and with a swift motion, he turned you over to your stomach, pulling you by your hips so that your ass was higher up towards him.

"Need to fuck you so bad" Mark growled as he smacked your ass cheek with a sharp slap, your pussy clenching at the burning sensation.

"Please, Mark" you whined in the pillow, a tear rolling down your face and landing on the sheets as a response to the overstimulation taking over your body.

The way you kept whining his name and the juices almost dripping down your thighs had Mark gritting his teeth. He gave himself a few more light strokes as he positioned his dick right at your entrance. Without giving you any warning, he dived into your pussy with a sharp stroke.

You shut your eyes in pleasure and gripped the sheets tightly until your knuckles went white as Mark pounded into with sharp rhythmic strokes, each one pushing your head further into the pillow.

Your moans were coming out as crying mumbles as your face was buried deep in the sheets. Mark kept his pace and force, his head lolling back at the intensity of the moment. He kept his one hand on your hip in order to keep you steady while, with the other one, he reached down to grab a fistful of your hair, tugging at it and pulling it roughly, an action that triggered your hot tears to spill from your eyes at the pure sense of pleasure.

Mark's breathing was heavy and sharp at the sound of your soft growns and the sight of your ass jiggling at each stroke he left. "Is this what you wanted, pretty? Me fucking you so good you end up a crying fucking mess?" Mark provoked you in a voice as deep as the ocean, his groans low and hot like the pits of hell.

The sound of skin slapping on skin echoed inside the four walls of your motel room. Mark's hips connected with your ass in an intense force and a static speed, as he hit the spot that always brought you closer to the edge.

"I-I'm close, Mark, p-please" you whined as he gradually took you closer to your limits, your lower stomach twitching in pleasure and your jaw going slack as you felt your climax rising more and more.

"Let this pretty pussy cum on my dick, come on baby" Mark growled and with that, you let out a high-pitched groan into the pillow as your pussy clenched around Mark's dick, the forceful grip of your hands on the sheets was slowly loosened.

You felt Mark's strokes become sloppier as you coated his length with your warm fluids. He quickly pulled out and turned you over so your back was touching the soft mattress. He moved his body closer to you, pumping his dick slowly as he brought the tip to your lips, brushing softly against them as an invitation to take in his dripping cock.

"Open up for me, pretty" his fully blackened eyes bore into your teary ones. You slowly opened your mouth and Mark quickly pushed his cock into it, moving his hips as you bobbed your head up and down, sucking on his veiny length.

"That's right, baby. Such a good girl" Mark whimpered as he slowly released into your mouth, his hot cum dripping down your throat. You swallowed all of it completely before he pulled out and laid down on the bed next to you, both of your heavy panting echoing in the now quiet room.

Mark took a few seconds to ease his breathing and turned to the nightstand above his head to search for the pack of cigarettes you kept hidden in the small drawer. He took one cigarette out of the box and brought it to his lips. With the lighter you kept inside that very same drawer, he lit it up, smoke immediately coming out of it. The room now smelled like a mix of sex and smoke, and you winced at the odd yet satisfying combination. Mark took a long drag out of the cigarette and then puffed the smoke into the filthy air.

As soon as you caught your breath, you turned your body towards Mark's, looping your arm around his waist and resting your head on his chest. Mark responded to your intimate touch, wrapping his free arm around your shoulders, stroking your hair lightly. He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead and then brought the cigarette again to his lips.

After the long and terrifying day you had, you finally felt at ease. Your heart was beating normally, your breathing was steady and your mind was blank. All you could do was savor this moment with Mark, wrapped around his arms and listening to his beating heart, a sound that promised you that everything would be alright.

"Please don't leave me, Mark. I wouldn't know what to do without you" you whispered to him as you slowly drifted away to deep sleep. Mark didn't say anything back. He kissed your forehead again instead and inhaled deeply, exhaling in a long sigh, as his eyes were fixed outside the window, looking over at the bright city lights.

Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of chirping birds outside your window. From the way the room was illuminated and from the shadows that formed behind every object, you could tell that it was only a few minutes after sunrise, and the bright orange sun confirmed your speculation.

With your eyes still half-open, you stretched your arms above your head and groaned, a soft yawn leaving your pouty lips. You then shifted between the sheets, turning your body to the other side of the bed, moving your arms around in search of the drug dealer’s toned body, the one that hugged you tight to sleep.

“Good morning, Markie” you mumbled, still half asleep. You rested your head on the pillow, still patting the mattress when you couldn’t sense the male beside you. Your eyes widened in an instant and your body quickly adjusted to the awake state. You were focused on the other side of the bed, where the boy you spent the previous night with would be lying sound asleep. Instead, you were met with nothing but tangled bedsheets.

“Mark?” you called again, in hopes that maybe he was in the bathroom and he couldn’t hear you. No response.

You yanked the sheets off you and rushed to the bathroom, opening the squeaky door with more force than you intended. “Mark?” you called, but the calling was in vain.

Maybe he went down to the diner to get us breakfast, you thought. It was still very early in the morning, but the diner never closed during the night, so there might be some leftovers or, if you were lucky, some fresh food at this hour.

So you decided to wait for him, thinking that his whereabouts were probably the old diner. Since you were now fully awake, you decided to take a shower and change into some fresh clothes. It will only be a few minutes, Mark will probably be back by the time I’m finished, you thought.

So you hopped into the shower, letting the warm water fall down your tense shoulders in order to ease your nerves and help your body physically relax. Your mind brought up the memories of the previous night you spent with Mark. You thought about the cop that came to the bar, you thought about the fact that Mark was in serious danger, you thought about your argument with him and how you made up afterwards by having steamy sex, just like every other time.

You didn’t know how to label your relationship with Mark, or whatever you had with him. He was more than a friend but less than a lover. He protected you, cared for you, helped you with any troubles you had and was always there for you, whatever it took for him. And what did you do for him in return? Nothing.

You did absolutely nothing, at least nothing that could compare to what he did for you. And you hated yourself for not being able to pull him out of his misery, even for the slightest bit, when he could even go as far as to move mountains just to see you crack a smile.

You didn’t deserve him; yet you were too selfish to let him go. He was a soul that wanted to fly and be free, but his wings were weighed down by your annoying fears and anxieties for the unknown.

The water dripping down your body suddenly turned cold and you immediately turned off the faucet and ran out of the shower, wiping your body dry with a towel. There was still no sight of Mark, so you quickly put on some fresh clothes and searched throughout the room in order to find your phone and call him.

Your eyes scanned every corner of the room where you could have possibly left your phone, when your gaze dropped to the wooden chair across the bed, the one where Mark usually sat when he played the guitar, only to find a folded piece of paper.

You stepped closer to the chair, picking up the piece of paper and turning it around. With shaky hands, you slowly unfolded it and a shiny bright red guitar pick fell on the floor. You picked it up, bringing it closer to your eye only to recognize it as one of Mark’s favorite ones.

You held the pick between your fingers and sat down at the wooden chair, looking at the wrinkly piece of paper. Written with a dark pencil, you recognized the sloppy handwriting and the small neat letters as none other than Mark’s and you couldn't help but feel your eyes sting in threatening tears as you slowly read and processed each heartfelt word he wrote:

Dear Y/n,

You’re probably reading this because you can’t see me in your room. But don’t bother look, because I have already left for a better, safer life and I won’t be coming back.

So here’s everything I couldn’t bring myself to say last night.

I love you deeply, Y/n. And I know your feelings towards me differ from my feelings towards you, but I’m not scared to hide it. You’re afraid of the power your heart holds and I understand that. For that, I will give you time, as much as you need to learn how to use this power.

I don’t know if I am a strong man or a coward for leaving; that I’m not sure of. But what I’m sure of is my life, and right now my life is in danger. I always spoke to you about how I wanted to have a normal life, to escape from this hell hole and build a different path for me.

Most importantly, I wanted to build this path with you. You’re the only thing that made this hell hole bearable, the only thing that gave me purpose, the thing that made my life have a meaning.

But I took some time to think and I realized that I can’t force you to follow the same path as me, no matter how much I need you or how much I want only what’s best for you.

So I left. I left to build this new path and I will try as hard as I can. I don’t care if I fail, because I know I can keep on trying and, no matter where you are, just the thought of you gives me strength.

I’m leaving you a piece of me behind though. My favorite guitar pick. I want you to have it. You can keep it, burn it, destroy it, I don’t care what you’ll do with it. I just want you to have something to remember me, something that means to me as much as you do.

So, for the meantime, mark me in your heart like I have marked you in mine, and think about what makes you truly happy. If you ever change your mind, you already know where to find me.

Your beloved,

M.

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[sorchathered]

Guilty Eyes and Little White Lies

Pairing-Bob Floyd x reader, Bob Floyd x Natasha Trace, Jake Seresin x reader

Warnings-talk of sexual activity, language, drinking, adultery, angst

Summary- you’d thought you had the perfect marriage, what happens when you’re betrayed by the one you love most, and how do you piece yourself back together? Sometimes a little revenge isn’t a bad thing.

A/N- This one has been sitting in the vault for a while! Not my usual at all, but I’m feeling the angsty vibe lately and rolling with it!

———————————————————————————-

He truly hadn’t meant to let it get this far. The bird strike incident a few weeks ago had them both on edge, feeling their mortality and in a moment of weakness he’d let her kiss him. He’d blamed it on nerves, claimed it didn’t mean anything and continued to push down the gnawing feeling that it might be something more. Then the mission had happened, they’d nearly lost Maverick and then Bradley, and when everyone came back safely everyone had gotten a little too drunk on the carrier that night and he’d somehow found his way to her bunk. They’d fit together in a way that scared him, and when he woke up the next morning he looked down at her sleeping form and didn’t think of you once. But reality hit when they got home, and the wedding ring on his left hand felt like a 1,000 lb weight.

Bob Floyd had royally fucked up, he’d broken protocol by sleeping with his front seater, and the worst part of it all? He’d cheated on his wife. His sweet, beautiful, faithful wife who was waiting for him back in Lemoore. The one he’d sworn to love until he died, and it brought on another wave of nausea as he paced the floor of his barracks room just thinking about how far he’d let things go. He’d fallen for Natasha Trace in the weeks he’d been at Top Gun, he hadn’t meant to truly but she got under his skin in a way that he couldn’t shake. She knew he was married, knew what they were doing was wrong and had agreed to stay apart until he could figure out what to do, but seeing her every day made it more and more difficult to do the right thing. The right thing…the right thing would have been to end it immediately and tell you the truth right when it happened. The right thing would have been to request an immediate transfer back home after the mission ended, but he didn’t do that either. He’d been dodging your calls for days, making up excuses while he tried to find the right things to say, but he knew you were too smart to believe him. You knew something was wrong, and it wouldn’t be long before it all came toppling down.

——————————————————————

When you’d both been stationed at Lemoore two years ago it had been like a dream, finally in the stationed in the same place after years of long distance. You’d soaked up all the quality time, getting to work together every day and go home together every night had always been the goal and it had been everything you’d hoped for. Nothing is ever perfect though, and Jake Seresin was the very definition of throwing a wrench in the machine. He lived to rile Bob up, and nothing ruffled his feathers more than when Jake flirted with you. He always joked that you were far too good for Bob, that you needed someone wild to balance you out and keep you on your toes, you’d constantly shut his flirting down and asked him to be nicer to your husband and for a while Jake did back off. That is until he and Bob got called back to Top Gun for this mission, and most especially when his jabs had been confirmed, opening an empty conference room door one evening to find your husband pressed against Phoenix with her hand down his pants. After they’d been caught he had ended it, he hated himself for what he’d done but couldn’t bring himself to find the words to tell you the truth.

Bob knew there was no point in begging Jake to keep his mouth shut, so he simply asked to be able to explain to you himself. You’d been devastated, but not surprised. He’d been avoiding you for weeks, every time you’d discussed coming down for the weekend he’d claimed he had things to do and didn’t want to drag you down to San Diego just to sit in a barracks room. You’d held it together as best you could but you were furious, you’d never given him any reason to stray and to watch him throw 5 years down the drain for a woman he barely knew set a fire in you. So one Friday you packed an overnight bag and drove down to North Island, pulling into the unfamiliar apartment complex late in the afternoon. The ridiculous jacked up truck in front of the building told you he was home from work, and you made your way to his door still shaking with nerves despite feeling so confident all day. Jake Seresin in nothing but sweatpants was a sight to see, and the shock on his face was even better. He had texted you a few days before to make sure you were ok, offered you a place to crash if you decided to come down and discuss things with Bob in person, he certainly didn’t expect you to show up and had to say he was glad he got to reap the benefits of Bob’s shitty lapse in judgement.

“As happy as I am to see you Sweetheart, are you sure you’re up for all this? You don’t have to do this yet if you aren’t.”

“It needs to be done Jake, I need closure and I want to move on. So take me out to this bar you guys keep talking about, and let’s burn the rest of my marriage to the ground.”

——————————————————————

Just a few hours later you and Jake were perched at the bar, nice and tipsy and feeling lighter than you had in days. You knew Bob and Phoenix would be there soon and the thought suddenly had you white knuckling the bar stool, maybe you’d been too bold in thinking you could handle catching him in some other woman’s arms, maybe you weren’t as brave as you thought you’d been after all. Jake seemed to notice the shift in you, knocking his knee into yours to pull you out of your head. He gave you a wink and peeled your hands from the stool, taking them both in his.

“You sure you still want this? I am totally fine with us heading home with some ice cream and letting you cry it out, but I’m also down to kick his ass if you need me to. Whatever you want to do we’ll do it, just say the word and we’re out of here.”

You heard him before you saw him, the group of aviators from his squad calling his name and you knew it was too late to run. You shook your head, plucking Jake’s tequila shot from his hand and downed it, revenge was all you had left and you’d be damned if he took that from you too. Standing up and smoothing the material of the dress that was your husband’s favorite you backed yourself up against the bar, settling yourself between Jake’s legs and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Put your money where your mouth is Seresin, show me what I’ve been missing.”

——————————————————————

Meanwhile on the opposite side of the bar everyone is saying their hellos, none of the squad know what’s been going on behind the scenes and as far as they can tell it’s just a normal Friday night meetup. Phoenix is the first to notice that Hangman is missing from the crew, Rooster nodding towards the bar letting them know he’s on a date with some girl from out of town.

“Hangman has a girlfriend?! Since when?”

“Beats me, he just said she’d come down to visit for the weekend and he’d bring her over when she was up for it.”

Bob is clueless to it all, and offers to grab the next round as everyone sets the table up for a new game.

He’s settling into a bar seat with Phoenix to wait for their beers as she nods in your general direction.

“Well they look cozy, but I swear I’ve seen that girl before, she looks so familiar. Bob, have you seen her before? I feel like we know her.

He looks up towards the direction she’s pointed and it feels as if his world has been upturned. Because just across the bar from him is Lieutenant Jake Seresin with his tongue down his wife’s throat, bodies pressed together with a handful of your ass.

“I know exactly where you know her from Phoenix, that’s y/n. That’s my fucking wife.”

——————————————————————

Jake is having the time of his life if he’s honest, he’d always been fond of you but he had enough respect for the sanctity of marriage to keep his hands to himself. You’d always belonged to someone else, that is until Baby on Board had done exactly what he expected and fumbled the bag. He knew you were hurt and that his chances would be slim for a while, but he’d bide his time if that meant he got to hold you like this tonight. And if it helps satisfy your need for revenge? He certainly wouldn’t mind helping you out with that. He was just a philanthropic kind of guy after all. You were a little tipsy now, giggling while he kissed you and he decided to play up the game a little and slide a hand down to grope your ass. You yelped but leaned into his touch, and he had to keep reminding himself this was just a game, that you weren’t his and that he still had to win you over.

“Jakeeee, you’re gonna get us in trouble if you keep this up, I don’t want us catching an indecent exposure charge” you said a little breathlessly into his mouth, maybe this hadn’t been the best idea; you could definitely see the appeal, and as it turned out Hangman wasn’t just all talk- he was very good.

“Sweets if I had it my way we’d already be halfway to my bedroom, but I’ll save that for another night. ‘Sides it looks like we’ve struck that nerve you were looking for, your husband’s looking our way and I think he’s getting a taste of his own medicine.” Jake cocked his head in the direction of Bob and Phoenix, winking at them as he continued to press kisses into your neck.

“Oh-oh shit, maybe we should go outside before we start a bar brawl.” You were wide eyed as you pushed him back a little, but he could see you were still comfortable with him continuing the plan so he looped an arm around your waist and tossed a 50 on the bar as he led you towards the back exit.

——————————————————————

“What do you mean that’s your wife?! What is she doing here, and what is she doing with Seresin?”

Natasha is spiraling, meanwhile Bob can barely hear her. He can only hear the rush of blood in his ears and his heart thumping out of his chest, nausea rising up in his throat as he catches Jake’s eye. The motherfucking gall of Jake Seresin, he’d spent months jabbing at Bob about how you were too good for him and while it had stung he’d been confident that you’d never be interested in him, but now to see your body pressed to his, kissing someone else? It confirmed every fear he’d had, he absolutely deserves this; you’d given him everything and he’d burnt it down but damn if it didn’t hurt to watch you walk away in the arms of someone else.

“Nat- I can’t do this right now. Can you find a ride home? I need to talk to her, see if she’ll let me apologize in person.”

She looks hurt, but she knows damn well she has no reason to be, this is on the both of them and she has to respect whatever choices he makes.

Bob follows the path you and Jake took towards the back exit, no idea what he’s going to say or if you’ll even listen but his feet carry him anyways, into the balmy night air and across the lot where he can see the two of you talking.

—————————————————————————

“Alright pretty girl, had enough revenge for tonight? Think it’s about time we get you home.” Jake said with a grin as he ushered you towards the truck at the back of the parking lot, you were a little unsteady in your wedge sandals but it had felt good to let loose tonight. You didn’t give a shit what Robert Floyd thought of your behavior, you’d tried to be his everything for so long and knowing that he could throw it out the window so quickly just solidified that it had never had anything to do with you. Something in him was broken, he could have had a long lasting love and he took it for granted. You wrapped both arms around Jake’s bicep and leaned into him with a sigh; you didn’t know what this was with him but you definitely knew you weren’t ready to get your heart broken by another handsome face anytime soon. All you could hope was that he’d settle for friends in the meantime, but you couldn’t dwell on it now, because through the buzz of the alcohol you suddenly heard a voice you knew all too well calling your name above the crash of the waves. Of course he was, he couldn’t just let you have this one night to have the upper hand, he’d actively avoided you for weeks and the second someone else paid you attention he suddenly had something to say.

You went ramrod straight and froze, Jake turning slightly to see what had you so tense and scoffed as he watched Bob make his way towards you both. He tugged a little to shield you from Bob but you looked up at him and shook your head, you could handle this; there was no need to delay it like he had and you had plenty to say.

“Y/n, can I just have a minute-“

“You don’t deserve a second of her time Floyd and you know it.” Jake snapped, but the gentle touch of your hand on his arm gave him pause; it wasn’t his job to be the white knight and he knew damn well you could handle yourself, but he couldn’t help but want to shield you from anymore pain.

“I’ve got this Jake, give me some time ok? I’ll be back.” You squeezed his arm and stepped away, and you thought you saw pain flash over Bob’s features at the familiarity between you two, but he had no right and he knew it. You followed him down the rickety wooden ramp to the beach, the sound of the crashing waves filling the awkward silence.

“I’m sorry.” He said, so quietly you could barely even hear it, tears pricking the corners of his eyes as he looked down at you, and all it did was make you see red.

“You're… Sorry? After shutting me out for weeks and then telling me what happened in an e-mail, you’re sorry? Well I’ll be, that’s gotta be the biggest pile of horse shit I’ve ever heard Bob.” You laughed, but it was harsh, it had him wincing from the coldness in your tone.

“You’ve got to be shitting me, I get an adrenaline rush, I get feeling your mortality, hell I’d even get it if you just kissed her. But you slept with her, you gave pieces of yourself to her that were only ever supposed to belong to me, and then to make it worse you hid it from me…for weeks! You have always been someone I considered to be honorable, and this? This betrayal? This is slimy. This is cowardly, and you fucking know it.”

You didn’t cry, you didn’t scream, you simply said your peace and when you looked back at him his eyes were full of tears and regret.

“I broke us, I know that. I’ve always known you deserved better, tried to be better, and I don’t have an excuse for any of it. I don’t know how I got here, I just know that I’m sorry. I ended it, we are just friends now, and I know that means shit to you but I’m trying. I just didn’t know if you’d even listen if I called, and then you came in tonight, with him and I realized just how much it hurt. God, seeing you with him- it makes me sick. I get it now, I get how much it must’ve hurt you. I know that’s why you did it, and I deserve it, I deserve it all. I don’t know where we go from here, but I don’t want you out of my life, I know it’s unfair to ask.” He couldn’t even look at you, it was infuriating to think that the man you loved had become this shell, a person you couldn’t even recognize.

“I wish you well Robert, I would never wish harm on you, but no. You clearly need to work on yourself, and so do I. Wherever that journey takes us, it’s not us against the world anymore. I don’t think I could ever look at you the same, and it’s not fair to ask me to try. I’ll speak with our lawyer, see if we can wrap this up as smoothly as possible, but there is no more us. I hope you find what you’re looking for.” You say with a sigh and a small tear rolls down your face before you can swipe it away, one last tear shed for the end of a life you’d always dreamed of. As you walked away from him and made your way back to the lot, you could hear his broken sobs, and you prayed whatever higher power existed would help him move past this, because you couldn’t stay.

Jake helped you get in the truck and the two of you drove in silence on the short trip back to his home, he could see you lost in thought so he let you drown in it for a few minutes until he pulled into the parking area. You swiped more stray tears, and then with a deep breath let your body sag into the plush leather of his f-150.

“You know why I was always on him about not being good enough for you?” Jake said quietly, causing you to turn and face him. You had always wondered, and begged him to stop more than once, he’d always said it was just fucking around but you had a suspicion it was something more.

“It wasn’t because I was trying to put a wedge between you two, well…maybe some of it was, but really it was because he never really saw you. It was always about him and you seemed sad, like you were ornamental, a box to be checked off on his list (and he did love to make lists), but never like he truly saw what he had. It drove me nuts, I’d kill for that, and I knew it was wrong, but I wanted it with you. And then when he fucked it all up I knew it would hurt you, but I couldn’t help but think that I could be the one to show you how much better you deserved to be treated. I can love you better, maybe not today, maybe not for a while, but I’ll wait y/n. You’re worth the wait.”

He looked wrung out from his confession, you knew he’d had some kind of schoolboy crush but it had never occurred to you that his feelings were genuine. He was the Hangman for gods sake, he’d always seemed like this larger than life flirt, why on earth would he be into some mousy little jag lawyer who was already married to one of his teammates? Maybe he was right, you did have a habit of putting yourself in small boxes to let Bob shine, he’d never asked you to but you’d done it anyway; you’d always put him first but he’d never thought to do the same.

“I’m not ready yet Jake, and I can’t promise I’ll be ready anytime soon. I’ve got to find me again, I don’t even know how I got here. But someday…someday I think I might like to know what it’s like to be loved by you. If you can wait for me, I’d really love that.”

He grinned at you and you couldn’t help but smile back, there was just something about him that lit you up in a way you’d never felt before. Friends would have to be enough for now, but someday you’d let yourself really appreciate just what it could be like to be truly loved.

——————————————————————————-

🏷️ Tagging- @attapullman @mynameismckenziemae @bobgasm @sebsxphia @roosterforme @seitmai @sailor-aviator

[seventeenpins]

bloom

pairing: stepdad!joel miller x f!reader

word count: 5.8k

summary: part three of bad girl. you decide to go out on a tinder date. joel gets jealous.

warnings: joel is an asshole, stepcest, infidelity, oral sex, somnophilia (mentioned) unsafe piv, creampie, dirty talk, fingering, daddy kink, age difference (reader is late 20s, joel is mid-40s), a bit of dom/sub vibes, smidge of role reversal (really just two stubborn people being stubborn), multiple orgasms, romance almost????, joel is sad and lost and possibly in love but mainly just wants to be wanted (but is bad at talking about real things), maybe not edited as much as it ought to be--pls tell me if there are any glaring issues you notice

a/n: finally finally actually got this finished weeks after i was certain i'd be posting. thanks to @livingdeadmaria for the jealousy angle. kinda gets away from itself, but i hope very much that you enjoy. i can't begin to express how much i appreciate your thoughtful messages and comments and interactions 💕

these past few weeks had gone by in a blur and you're hyperaware of how quickly the time is passing. joel had been taking good care of you, fucking you pretty much any time your mom was out of the house, and a couple times when she wasn't.

after casually mentioning how you'd love for him to make you feel good every minute of the day, he had laughed.

"doubt you'd want me makin' ya feel good if you're not even awake to enjoy it," he'd said.

"are you kidding me? waking up to you playing with me sounds like a dream," you told him, and he stilled, swallowing deeply.

your mom would pass out heavily after a night of drinking, and when her snores started in earnest, joel would sneak into your room, lock the door, and wake you up by dragging a palm over your tits, pinching at your nipples, rubbing a finger along your pussy, all the while telling you how good you're doin', that you taste so fuckin' sweet, god you're a fuckin angel when you're sleepin', and the one that you heard him say right as you woke up with his fingers deep in your cunt and a hand on your breast, already all worked up, and you came instantly; "you'd better hush that goddamn mouth or i'll hush it for you, baby, you gotta be quiet for daddy or your momma might wake up and then daddy won't be able to make you feel good like this-"

so no, you weren't unsatisfied with your sex life. in fact, you were more than satisfied.

it scared the hell out of you.

you were waiting, you realised, for shit to hit the fan. for joel to get bored with you. to get too busy. to come to his senses.

and, after all, the summer would be over soon, and you'll be back to your usual life. getting absolutely railed by your stepdad didn't exactly seem like something that was sustainable, long-term.

the two of you had never defined this, but you decided you needed a palate cleanser. something that'd catapult you back into the real world. if you ended up with a disappointing hookup, so be it. most hookups were, and the pornographically cinematic sex you were having with joel couldn't last forever. hell, you expected him to file for divorce any day now, and the likelihood of having any kind of relationship after he'd gone for good seemed very low indeed.

and so you decided that it was unhealthy to focus on only one person, especially when monogamy had never suited you, and the one person just so happened to be your stepdad.

you'd never deleted tinder but you couldn't remember the last time you'd opened the app. at this point, you'd convinced yourself you kept it because you thought of it as a kind of sociological study -- you endured because it meant you got to examine the extremes of human behavior and it was absolutely fucking fascinating.

so you scrolled aimlessly, appreciating the change in the pool of people that was your hometown, but quickly cursing yourself when you saw that a former student teacher of yours had just super liked you. horrifying.

you stared at your phone screen--swiping left on almost everyone, adjusting your filters to include ages 25-50, and feeling wholeheartedly disappointed at what tinder had to offer--until one face popped up. you'd almost swiped left by default, but stopped yourself just in time.

it's your old high school boyfriend, connor. not your first. not your last. but the most serious you'd had throughout high school, and definitively one of the best sexual experiences you'd had before your twenties. you'd ended things on good terms before you each went off to college.

his entire profile, you decide, is an assortment of green flags containing exactly what you need; looking for short term fun. social drinker and 420 friendly.

he's got a couple of goofy pictures, but he's aged well in the past decade, and you'd be down to find out if he's as good a lay as you remember. no possibility of falling in love; you're both only in town for the summer, nor are you looking for anything long-term. and, you add on to your mental list of reasons, he was never a creep, nor a murderer, and though that's a very low bar it's still nice to clear it. you can work with this. you swipe right and it's a match!

your mom has a girls weekend planned that you think might actually involve her and her friends, and joel told you he'll be out all weekend for his brother's bachelor party, so that's when you decide to set your date. it's nice to have the option to bring a guy back home and not have to worry about any awkward situations.

it's a friday night and you are all dolled up. your dress is tight, your tits look amazing, and the bar is lively. tonight is clearly the night to be out. there's a celebration going on in the corner with an incredibly drunk birthday girl scream-singing along to the music. pool tables packed. a group of men loudly complaining about the friend they're waiting for who's always late.

it doesn't take you long to spot connor. he's there, looking surprisingly good, leaning against the bar. a flash of dazzling white greets you when he catches your eye, grinning.

"hey," connor calls over to you, "it's been a minute! you look great!"

he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and looks you up and down, eyes sweeping over the spill of your cleavage and cinch of your curves. you know you look good, and he knows it too.

"wasn't sure if this was still your drink," he tells you, passing you a mojito, "but this is for you."

"i can't believe you remembered!" you tell him--mojitos used to be your favorite-- "i usually go for something less sweet these days, but i still love em. thank you."

you take a sip and watch as he takes a big gulp of his beer. the condensation on the bottle drips down his thumb, a drop of moisture hanging on for a moment before falling. his arms are nicer than you remember, veins drawn in beautiful patterns, muscles tensing at seemingly the slightest movement.

yeah, you could fuck him.

he offers you a questioning half smile and you realise you've really just been staring at him, not sure how long for. "didn't realise how hot you'd gotten," you tell him, and he cracks up. any uncomfortable tension dissolves, and you relax into it. you're almost able to forget about joel miller.

you're having a great night. one drink turns to three and before you know it, you're on the dance floor, enjoying the sensation of connor's hands all over you--holding your waist, brushing your cheek, groping at your ass as you grind together, both of you hot and sweaty and feeling wonderful. you turn your face to connor and kiss him, hot and passionate, running your tongue along his perfect teeth. it's... nice. he lets out a little whimper, which you like, but where joel would've leaned in deeper, cupped your face, tangled his hands in your hair and growled into your mouth in response, connor pulls back and practically giggles. "you're so sexy, baby," he says, and that's all fine and good, but it's not as exciting as you'd hoped. it just feels bland.

but you've made the effort to come out, and you're not gonna give up just yet.

you kiss him again, trying to will a bit of passion into the exchange, but all of a sudden he's shoved aside by some asshole barrelling past and he's nearly knocked over.

"hey what the fuck!" connor shouts, and the person who shoved into him stops. turns to you both.

before you see his face, you know it's him. broad shoulders and a muscled back. patchy beard. great forearms. and his jaw is set in the most beautiful scowl you've ever seen.

"joel-" you gasp.

this wasn't part of the plan. why the fuck is he here?

then you notice the group of somewhat rowdy men in the corner, right in the direction he was heading. one of them calls over in his direction, and he holds up a finger before turning back to you.

this must be his brother's bachelor party.

connor looks between the two of you. "you know this guy?" he asks, and you nod. he turns to joel. "you need to watch where you're walking, man."

a muscle in joel's clenched jaw ticks as he stares him down, and connor takes a tiny step back.

"connor," you say, "this is, uh, this is joel. my stepdad. joel, this is connor."

"oh," connor says, "well, just be more careful next time. nice to meet you, man. joel."

he extends a hand, which joel blatantly ignores as he fixes you with a gaze.

"best be gettin' home, sweetheart," he says, tone colder than you've ever heard it before. you swear you can see a vein in his forehead pulsing. "it's getting late."

you raise your eyebrows. is he... mad? and if so, is this the best he can do? "joel, it's a friday night. i'm having a good time, and i'm gonna keep having a good time."

he stares you down.

"that alright?" you ask, a challenge.

he grits his teeth again and nods sharply, hissing out a fine, throwing one last glare at connor before he walks away rigidly.

connor frowns at you and you shrug, but you glance over at joel, watching him retreat.

now that you know he's here, at this bar, it's almost impossible not to keep looking over at him.

he looks strangely awkward over there, like he's trying to appear relaxed but is following a relaxation guide written by aliens. he's rigid. uncomfortable. a man clasps him on the shoulder (his brother?) and doubles over in a laugh, which he seems to join half-heartedly. you can see how he's holding his beer with a white-knuckled grasp. his shoulders have relaxed a little, but in a way that looks intentional. you're not sure if anyone else would notice, but you've watched joel a lot these past few weeks. you can see it. you don't know what that means.

as connor tells you all about his work, you catch joel looking at you, too. there are a few times your eyes meet and something would flash between you. if connor noticed that you were distracted, he didn't show it.

you're a few more drinks in, loose and warm, getting quite cosy, when connor's phone starts to buzz. he glances the name on the caller id and his eyes go wide. "i'm so sorry," he tells you, points at his phone, "a friend of mine's going through a hard time--i need to get this. excuse me a minute?"

"of course!" you tell him, and watch him head outside for some quiet.

it takes less than two minutes before you feel joel sidle up beside you. you know it's him before you even turn to look.

"hi, joel," you say, and he grunts in response.

you're silent for a moment.

"so," you try again, "you wanna tell me why you look like you've been chewing a lemon?"

he frowns. "huh?"

"sour," you supply.

he rolls his eyes.

"don't like seein ya with that boy."

"oh really?" you ask, "and how is that any of your business? has he offended you in some way?"

he shrugs. "just don't like it."

"i'm gonna try again, joel. what's your fuckin problem?"

he huffs out a breath. "a fuckin' kid like that's just tryin' to get his dick wet."

"i should hope so," you scoff, "that's kinda the point."

"seriously?" his voice drops to a lower register, "am i not takin' good enough care of you?"

"no, joel, it's not-"

he cuts you off, "hush, girl-" and despite the quiet of his words, now you notice the slight slur to them. "cos how i remember it," he tells you, "just a day ago you were cryin' my name, ridin' my cock."

you feel your face heat, but he keeps going- "would you let that boy fuck you raw? huh?" he doesn't even give you a chance to respond. "guess you really do take after your momma, huh? mother's a whore and her daughter is too."

"fuck you joel-"

"worst mistake of my fuckin' life getting mixed up with all this shit- with you-"

rage surges through you, shoving aside any embarrassment you felt earlier, and before you can stop yourself, you slap joel across the face.

the impact breaks something that's been building and you both reel back, deflated. you stare at each other for a moment in shock and silence. the place your hand made contact with him starts to bloom blotchy red.

joel rubs his jaw with his palm and winces. "okay, i deserved that," he huffs.

you soften just a little, "you did deserve that."

"i shouldn't be talkin' to ya like that," he groans, chastened, "not your fault. i've had too much to drink, i think. gonna stick with water the rest of the night."

"can we call a truce for tonight?" you ask. connor could be back any moment now and you aren't gonna do any of this in front of him. but as unreasonable as joel's being, you don't wanna hurt him. your anger has all but dissolved and you just want peace.

"sure," he says, "truce."

you smile, half-hearted.

"so, big bachelor party, huh?" you ask, nodding at his group still in the corner.

"hah," he breathes, "yeah. can't believe my little brother's gettin' married."

"which one is he?"

joel points. "over there. the one in th' button-down, currently double fistin' his beer."

you roll your eyes. "no wonder you're so fucked up. must run in the family," you say pointedly, and he knows he's not off the hook for his earlier jibe.

a pause.

"so, who is this guy?" he asks, and he notices you tense. "no, no, i'm not gonna- be more of an asshole."

"good."

"so?"

"his name is connor. we dated back in high school. just seemed like a safe option for a hookup. no strings, any of that."

joel hums. grimaces. "seems a bit young for you, hmm? you seem to like your men old and grey, not bright eyed and bushy tailed."

you snort and roll your eyes, "oh, fuck off."

the moment falls between you.

"look, joel. i don't know what- this is between us." you gesture between the two of you, "like, it's not... sustainable. i know that. you're married to my fuckin' mom, and that's not even touching our age gap."

he sighs. "yeah. i know."

"so, what is it you want? from me? from this?"

he huffs out a breath. "truth is, i don't know," he admits.

"well, you sure as fuck had better figure it out

"he finds out his wife's cheating on him, he fucks her daughter-"

"hey, don' say it like that-"

"-and then gets jealous at the thought of her daughter fucking someone else."

"hey now-"

"am i wrong?"

silence. an awkward cough.

"no," he concedes, "you're not wrong. and i don't know what this is, but i do know what i want."

"and what's that?"

"you."

you stare at one another. he leans towards you, his voice gravelly, barely above a whisper.

"i want you to forget all about that boy. i wanna make you feel good, as much as i can for as long as i can. i wanna make you come on my tongue, and my fingers, and my cock. i wanna hear you scream my name-"

your breath hitches and you can almost taste the whiskey on his warm breath as it tickles your cheek. joel's hand is gripping your arm now and the grip is a comfort.

of course, that's the exact moment connor reappears.

"hey, there, sorry it took so long! really glad i picked up-"

you and joel pull back, and mostly manage to pull off looking casually friendly, but connor misreads it entirely and looks between the two of you.

and then he turns on joel.

"get off her ass, old man," he hisses, "she's an adult, and you're not even her dad! she can stay out if she wants to!"

joel stares at him, wide-eyed, startled as hell, and you do your best to stifle a laugh at the idea of joel being your actual dad. yikes.

"it's okay babe," you reach out to connor, patting his arm to soothe him. "joel and i were just catching up. is your friend okay?"

his eyes dart between you before he tries to catch up. recalibrate.

"uh, yeah-" he says, "yeah he was having a hard time but i think he's doing better now."

another glance to joel. back to you.

"so, uh-" he ventures, tentative, "do you wanna get out of here?"

if it hadn't been for joel turning up at this bar, you'd say yes in a heartbeat.

but you know for a damn fact that isn't gonna happen now.

"ah shit, connor, i'm sorry. i'm feeling a bit off tonight, and i think i should call it an early night."

"oh."

"i'm really sorry, it really was nice to see you."

connor sighs, nods, and then flashes you one last dazzling smile.

"you too," he says, and leans in to press a kiss to your cheek. "take care of yourself, yeah? and if you ever wanna meet up again, just let me know."

you nod and watch as he walks away.

it's only a moment later that you feel joel's hand snake around your waist and hold you close to him. it's familiar and lovely, the callouses that trace across your skin.

'i think," you tell him, "you should tell your group you're heading out soon."

he looks over at the group and one of them waves at him with a confused expression on his face.

"and then i want you to meet me in the bathroom. single stall at the end of the hallway. don't make me wait more than ten minutes."

joel's mouth goes very dry very quickly, and he nods almost too eagerly. his pupils are blown and you can't get enough of the bead of sweat that rolls from his temple.

"good boy," you tell him and he gulps. turns away from you and back to his group.

you walk towards the bathrooms and catch his gaze and a brief nod as you walk by him.

you feel exhilarated. goosebumps prickle up and down your arms and your stomach flips in an excited swoop. you've inadvertently just swapped roles. you didn't tend to take the lead, at least not in this way. if anything, you tended to beg, please daddy, please fuck me.

after you close the bathroom door behind you, you take a moment to collect yourself. you adjust your hair, smooth out your dress, and wait.

a few minutes pass, and then--a knock at the door. three gentle raps; a rhythm you know so well.

you open the door, grab him by the collar, and pull him in.

he practically squeaks as he's pulled through, but then you're pressing him against the door and he melts under you. he lets out a long, throaty groan as your tongue drags along his jaw, your hands slapping his out of the way as you undo the buttons of his shirt and rake your nails down his chest.

"gonna put your money where your mouth is?" you ask. his brow furrows. "gonna make me feel good, daddy?"

"yes-" he moans and devours your mouth in a kiss. pulls away, breathless, "what do you want, baby, tell me--"

"mouth. and fingers."

"god yes-"

before you have a moment to react, he hikes the skirt of your dress up and backs you up against the sink. "get on up, baby," he says, and you do, hopping up onto the sink with your skirt around your waist and your panties on full display, damp and translucent with your slick. you lean back against the mirror and joel grabs at your thighs, spreading them wider apart.

when he sees how wet you are, he lets out a strangled moan. "jesus christ, honey-" he says, and drags his forefinger along your slit, through your panties, "you're gonna fuckin' kill me."

then he looks at you with those dark, beautiful eyes. searches your face. then drops to his knees.

he starts by mouthing against your panties, just his lips at first, but then he starts to lick and suck at you, sucking your slick from the fabric.

"cute panties," he tells you, and then he's got his fingers hooked on the waistband and pulls them down and off you, helping to lift your hips.

then, when they're off, he wraps them around his hand, buries his nose into his fist and inhales deeply.

"fucking hell, joel-" you breathe, and he turns a little pink, grinning sheepishly. fuckin' joel miller sniffing your panties. how is it that that's the hottest thing you've ever seen?

he doesn't liger too long, though. before you know it, his big hands are grabbing at your thighs again, holding you open. then he's tracing a fingertip along your cunt. prodding in, just a little. pushing your folds open and looking at how messy you already are. sloppily scissoring his fingers, opening you up

"needy little thing, huh?" joel asks and you nod.

leaving his fingers inside, he pulls the hood of your clit back with his thumb and leans in to kitten lick it. it leaves you writhing, but the grip of his other hand on your thigh helps keep you in place. he pulls back, just a little, and spits on your pussy. rubs it in with the thumb, giving you the most lovely pressure, extra slick exactly where you need it.

pumps gently, leaning back in to start licking you in earnest. after a few lazy pumps, he hooks his fingers in you and starts pressing into you with more speed, more urgency.

he pulls back for only a moment and you can see that his moustache and his bottom lip are glistening with your slick. he opens his mouth to praise you, telling you those perfect sounds you're makin' are drivin' me crazy, honey, love how you let daddy know just how good he's makin ya feel, that's it, don't hold back-

and suddenly you're coming.

despite the dullness from the alcohol, and the fact that you're propped up on a sink and just realising your back is smashed up against an uncomfortable knobby faucet--despite all that--waves of pleasure surge through you, hot and bright at your core, flowing across your entire body as you ride his fingers, practically sobbing his name.

your hips rock back up, forcing his fingers deeper into you, and he holds you tight as you ride it through.

for a moment, your vision is replaced with a million little black dots, but then the haze clears and you see joel kneeling in front of you, one hand with stilled fingers still inside you, the other, grasping your hip and holding on gently but firmly.

it takes you longer than you expected to come down from it, but after a few minutes you've gathered yourself.

joel's no longer fingering you, instead rubbing soothing circles to a sensitive bit right at the inside of your thigh. he's telling you lovely things, and you bask in the sensation of his closeness.. you notice his fingers feel funny, but you let out a giggle when you realise they're pruney from being inside you.

he notices what you're looking at and snorts. then thinks for a moment. decides.

"you got any plans tonight?" joel asks you.

"just connor," you laugh, and joel glowers, unimpressed.

"but no, this was much better. and i have no other plans tonight. got something in mind?"

he nods, and suddenly looks almost bashful. "i've got a hotel room. technically part of the bachelor party, but my room's at the opposite end of the hallway from the rest of the party."

you grin.

"i know-" he starts, "i know we hardly ever have a chance to sleep in a bed together. but this could be a chance. if you want?"

for the second time this evening, you grab him by the collar and pull him in for a kiss.

the hotel is really only ten minutes away, but it feels like about five million hours.

you're trying not to look recently fucked, and joel's trying not to let his enormous hard-on look visible through his jeans.

you both sit rigidly in the back seat of the cab. neither of you know if you're being too cautious, or not cautious enough, but you both want to keep whatever you're doing between just the two of you.

despite the distance, though, you can still feel the tug between you. you could cut the tension with a knife. it's only when you arrive at your destination do you feel like you can breathe again. you don't know how, but you know joel feels it too.

there was always the risk that joel's brother could, potentially, run into them in the elevator.

so, all things considered, it was a really, really stupid idea to fool around on the elevator ride to the tenth floor.

"think they have cameras in here?" you ask, and joel snorts.

"if they do, they'll be getting quite a show, huh baby?"

"yes daddy," you agree, and joel groans at your words, closing his eyes, his head tilting back to rest against the cool metal wall behind him. he feels you undo his zipper, unfastens his belt and the button of his jeans. then the wet warmth of your mouth is wrapped against the head of his cock and his groan turns into a shudder of absolute pleasure.

his pants are still up at his hips, cock hanging out impressively. you drag your nails along his thighs all the same, providing enough pressure so he doesn't lose sensation through the fabric.

his hands are tangled up in your hair as you pull his hips towards you, encouraging him to fuck your throat. he's getting frantic, when the elevator suddenly dings!

you break apart instantly and for a moment your stomach flips as you're certain someone else is about to walk into the elevator, but then you realise you've arrived at your floor.

joel composes himself, slicks his sweaty hair back and pulls his pants back up, pretending to ignore the enormous hard-on straining against the fabric.

"this way," he tells you, and you follow him.

any initial reversal of your usual roles becomes a rhythm of give and take. you're barely through the door before joel's grabbing at the hem of your dress and pulling it up and over your shoulders. unhooks your bra and tosses it to the floor.

he stands there and stares at you for a moment, mapping out every curve, every angle, every stretch mark. you're completely bare for him, your panties still in his pocket.

then he's on you, hands gripping your waist, your jaw, stroking over your breasts, fingers dragging over your bellybutton, cupping your pussy-- the sensation is overwhelming, almost too much. if someone told you he'd grown extra hands, you'd believe them; his touch is all over you.

"you feel so good baby," he tells you as his hands slide down to grab at your ass, "you sweet thing-"

you work at unbuttoning his shirt, shoving it off his arms. you pull off his belt, too, which he never rebuckled. shuck his pants down, drop to your knees.

but then he pulls you back up. "uh-uh," he shakes his head, "get on this bed right now for daddy. i wanna taste you while you taste me."

you scoot back onto the bed and lay down, your head near the pillows. joel walks around the bed and kisses you once more, deeply, and then he yanks off his socks and straddles your face.

"this okay baby?" he asks. his cock is thick and heavy and hanging against your cheek.

"yes, daddy-" you tell him, and move to take a tentative lick of his swollen head.

"good girl," he groans and stretches out. you grab his cock with one hand, gripping onto his hip with the other. you guide his cock in your mouth, relaxing and opening your throat just how you need to for this angle. the salty tang is perfect, and you can feel his body tremble.

then you can feel his breath on your abdomen as he trails kisses down and down and down and then his lips meet yours, his hands grip your ass, and he's pointed his tongue in the most delicious way as it flicks over your clit and then inside you. you're doing your best to stay focused on sucking his cock--you know he hasn't gotten off once yet tonight--but the sensation starts to build and build and build and it's all you can do to at least keep your throat open for him to fuck into as he brings you towards another climax.

he holds onto you as you come, as if any distance would cause you to disintegrate. you ride his tongue, dazed by the sensation, the brush of his beard, the way he's gotten loud and feral as he licks up the slick of your release. your thighs are wet, both from your own arousal and his spit, and as you come back to yourself, you know you need him to fuck you.

"joel-," you say, and he ignores you, continuing to lick at you.

"joel, please-," you beg, "need your cock so bad. need you to fuck me, to fill me up-"

he pulls back, "try again," and then dives in again.

"daddy, please!", you cry, and it comes out almost as a shout.m

"there's my good girl," he tells you, and swings his leg back over you so he's no longer straddling your face. he holds his dick and slaps it a few times on your cheek. "need this cock filling you up?"

"yes."

"better beg for it, baby girl."

you fucking love when he makes you beg, but you hate it too. he walks around the bed and then kneels on the foot of it. hooks his hands under your knees and pulls you towards him.

"need it, daddy. use this pussy, use me, please-" your begging has turned to whining, and joel's eyes are blown black, hard and beautiful as he looks at you.

"fill me up with your cum, take your pleasure from me, daddy, let me be so good for you."

in a single fluid motion, he yanks your knees up onto his shoulders and fucks into you in with a single long thrust.

you scream out, it's so much and so good.

"such a good girl, huh?" he asks you, cupping your jaw as he pounds into you. it's not soft, not languid, not gentle. he sets a brutal pace, his hips stuttering, cock ramming into you again and again and again. "sweet little toy for me to use, aren't you baby? keep that pussy open wide for your daddy, huh? so wet for me, you just wanna make daddy feel good, don'tcha?"

the sensation is too much, his coarse hair grinding against your clit as he fucks so deeply into you, sending sparks flying through you at the thought of it. he presses a palm into your belly, just below your navel, and the pleasure increases beautifully.

you've lost the ability to form coherent sentences, just "yes, yes, yes, so good daddy, so fucking deep, you're so big, such a big fuckin' cock, fuck!"

his moans have turned into strangled grunts, all his focus on getting himself off in you. you adjust your hips just a little and the angle allows him to press in just that little bit deeper.

"you love feeling me in here, don't ya?" he asks, pressing his fingers harder into your belly, pulling a moan from you you weren't expecting. his eyes flicker back to your face and his eyes crinkle, "takin' daddy's cock so nice."

then he moves his fingers back down to play with your clit again.

"gettin' close, baby," he tells you, "but i need just one more from ya. can you do that, pretty girl? come one more time on daddy's dick?"

you whine and writhe but you know you can--it's already building--and you tell him so.

"that's my good girl," he praises, his fingertips slick and teasing as he coaxes another orgasm out of you.

it hits you like a freight train, and suddenly you're spasming around him, sucking his cock almost deeper inside you, exploding with waves and waves of pleasure. you scream, and he lets out a strangled cry before he spills inside you.

it takes a few minutes before either of you move again. he pulls himself out gingerly, and you wince at the lack of fullness.

"took it so nice, baby," he tells you, and cupping a soothing hand over your pussy, being careful to avoid your clit or anything too sensitive. he pulls his hand away and looks at the mess on it, your come mixed together and dripping out of you. "so good for me."

then he kisses you, gentle, sweet and deep.

he runs a shower for the both of you and scrubs you both clean. it's possibly the most tender moment you've had with him, as he tucks a wet lock of your hair back, kissing you again as his softened cock presses against you and you let yourself savour the sensation of your bodies inhabiting the same space.

joel sorts through the linens and changes the sheets before you go to bed. it's unnecessary and oddly thoughtful, something you didn't really expect.

he wraps his arm around you, pulling you close as you snuggle in together. you can feel your eyelids growing heavy, but joel brings you back to him before you can drift off properly.

"you asked what this is between us. what i wanted."

you stay silent, waiting for him to continue.

"i-" he falters, "i still don't know. but i know that i care for you."

"joel-"

"and i know there's no place i'd rather be right now."

you let that sit for a moment. then turn and kiss him.

"go to sleep, joel."

"okay, pretty lady."

he pulls you close and you drift off in his arms.

[scorpioracha]

Dating Seokjin

I really hope you guys enjoy this one! I spent the better part of the day writing it and Jin has a special place in my heart as one of my first biases so yeah. Y’all know the vibes, reblog,like,comment and come yell at me if you enjoy it they’re really appreciated and encourage me to keep writing♡

김 석진 Kim Seokjin

-you and Jin met while you were working at a bakery in myeongdeong. It wasn’t your dream job but it payed the bills, especially during rush hour. Extra people meant extra tips, and working the morning rush didn’t seem so bad when the line was packed full of people with Chanel bags and Rolexes, you’re even sure you saw a Mercedes parked out front…

-So you were no stranger to slapping a smile on your face and putting on the charm for some extra won in your tip jar—you even decorated it seasonly—dedicated to the craft,born to the breed…this was not your first rodeo working customer service and from the looks of rent and textbooks it wouldn’t be your last

-When a handsome man walks in you weren’t even phased. You looked him straight in the eyes and asked him for his order. Then asked if he was okay because the pause in between was getting a bit awkward and there were more customers.

“You don’t know who I am”he mumbled, seemingly shocked. You just held back an eye roll strong enough to cause an earthquake and smiled again. Rich people.

“No, am I supposed to?”

-this caused the most heinous laughter you have ever heard and he recovered enough to say he wanted an iced americano and whatever you thought was best. Trying not to side eye him for wasting your time and causing the other customers to get antsy, you recommended him a slice of vanilla cheesecake and he laughed again, questioning if it was too early for cake. You couldn’t help yourself but to laugh too because his was quite something and you just winked at him and promised not to tell.

-you were understaffed that day—as usual, so you also got his order ready. You sent him on his way with a bow and a cake pop snuck in there cause no one really made you laugh on the job. And he left you with a hefty tip that felt like robbery.

-you thought that was the last you’d see of him. Until you started seeing him everywhere. Billboards,tv shows,magazines,posters—hell the bakery even had a poster of his band up in the coming month. You were sure it was him, those lips didn’t just belong to anyone.

-you found yourself looking for him during the morning rush but to no avail, he wasn’t there. He was everywhere else around you though and it drove you crazy. Your squeaky laughed paramour seemed to be gone with the wind.

-until your shift got changed sometime near December. With finals upcoming you needed the mornings to sleep and study, so now you worked closing.

-your first day on closing was similar to any other closing shift. Busy from 4-6pm and then dead the rest of the night. It was peaceful in a way, less tips but between customers you got to relax.

-Until he came in. He was wearing a mask and a hat and bundled up in about a million coats but it was him, you knew it. You had learned his name was Seokjin from your research(stalking) and maybe you were having hallucinations from your third espresso but there he was, staring at you with those beautiful eyes. Then he said the unexpected.

“Ya!”he exclaimed, ripping off his scarf. “Where have you been?! I’ve been coming here every night for the past three months! Do you not work the night shift?! Has nobody told you??”

You furrowed your brows, that’s not what you were expecting. “You could have come during the day time!”you argued. “If you knew I wasn’t here at night, why didn’t you come during the day?!”

“Because I can’t come during the day!”he argued back. By this point his jacket had been hung over a chair and his mask was pulled down on his chin. Damn. It was hard to argue with a man with those lips…

“…and I’ve been sneaking around like a creep looking for you—are you even listening??”

You blinked once. Then twice. Then found yourself laughing again like you had all those months ago. Who new a meetcute in July could make an argument in December

feel like a first date.

“You said you’ve been looking for me?”you said, looking at him with mirth in your eyes. He nods, his own eyes still wide from his ranting and his cheeks pink from adjusting to the warmth.

“I..yes, I just-I just couldn’t get you out of my head”he explained, “I’m at a point in my life where it feels like everyone thinks they know me. It was just refreshing to meet somebody without them having a million and one ideas of who they think I am”

You nod. “Well, I know your name now because who doesn’t, but you’re right, I don’t know you”

“Would you like to?”he asked.

“I would.”

And it was history from there. A slightly bumpy history.

-“do I get a kiss if I say today is my birthday?”

“You can get a slap”

-You two did in fact meet again on his birthday and after making sure(asking to see his ID) you celebrated with a slice of vanilla cheesecake and a candle that was half broken you found somewhere in the break room.

-this all happened in 2016. As the group grew and their popularity, your relationship definitely needed to adjust accordingly. Bang PD was less than thrilled by Jin getting himself into a relationship but one thing we know about Jin is that he’s stubborn🤡 so there was no way he was losing that fight

-you had to adjust to seeing him less earlier on when they were still making a name for themselves. But that didn’t stop you from packing up the pastries at the end of the and hauling them off to the boys at the dance studio. With a little scolding from Hobi that they were going to get cramps eating all these sweets, they were all very grateful.

-But Jin being the man he is made sure to stop in while you were working too. Mainly at night but on the random chance they got a break he’d come in the mornings and hang out in the kitchen, where you had been promoted to part time baker. Usually he brought you breakfast and coffee which you always scolded him for because you worked in a literal bakery but he’d just scold

you back claiming he hasn’t seen you eat a vegetable in weeks. And no it didn’t count if it was in a croissant.

-may or may not have told everyone he knows about the bakery and it may or may not have turned into an idol hotspot.

-don’t be too mad at him he just wants to support his girl😭

-outside of work for both of you guys Jin is pretty…quiet. You hadn’t expected it when you first started dating but that’s just because his guard was still up. Now that you’re happily settled into your relationship he doesn’t feel the need to be on around you. He doesn’t have to make you laugh,be world wide handsome or loud. He could be quiet and soft and wear cute pajama sets while playing his maplestory.

-sometimes he was so quiet in the house you forgot he was there. The world wouldn’t believe it if you paid them a thousand dollars but this knowledge was nice. Something that the world didn’t need to know, that you could keep for yourself.

For yourself and six other boys.

-they did have Jin first and honestly the first time you met them you always shit your pants. God they could be intimidating when they’re sussing someone out, especially Jimin. The hyung line liked you just fine but it did take a while to gain the Maknae’s trust. They’ve never seen Jin date or even think about dating so they were skeptical. Jin was the oldest and therefore a pseudo parent for the rest of the members, so you coming into the picture was different.

-but you’re you so how could you not win them over?

-the once hesitant maknae’s cling to your side whenever you’re at Hybe. Sometimes you swear you see them more than Jin.

“Y/n, let’s go shopping!”

“Y/n, have you seen x y and x?”

“Y/n, Taehyung hit me!”

And so forth.

-the hyung’s enjoyed your presence just as much. Yoongi was relieved someone else could take over as mom—he liked to joke that you two were the real parents of this band. Hobi would laugh at a bottle cap falling so you crack him tf up and namjoon our responsible leader is happy that his members are happy.

(He’s just trying to look cool, you two go on museum outings and have a book swap you do together)

Jin bits!✨tid bits about you and Jin✨

-every anniversary you guys start it off by having some form of vanilla cake in bed. His always with a candle on it.

-he always keeps a hoodie and a blanket in his car because this is not a kdrama and you are not getting a jacket because he’s cold too🙄

-you guys moved in together around your third year of dating, starting off in an apartment near myeongdeong for your job, but now y’all live in a house on the outskirts of Seoul

-if it’s not takeout, you most likely cooked the food for eat Jin. Can he cook? Yes. Does he cook when you’re around? Not unless you ask.

-you guys have so many matching pajama sets

-he cried when you said he wasn’t your bias. Fucking acting school😒

-you now own so much RJ merch it’s actually ridiculous and you asked him to stop bringing so many RJs home. The answer was no🤡

-after years of working your way up the ladder you own the bakery now! Jin wants to retire you because he doesn’t believe princesses need to work but you grew to actually the enjoy the job when you were no longer working cash register.

-his nickname for you is 공주님(princess)

NSFW

-idk y’all but Jin is giving me heavy experimentalist vibes. I think he’s less into the d/s side of bdsm and more into the bondage and the s/m side. He’s got clear limits but since your relationship is established and he trusts you so much he’s willing to try anything once within those limits.

-he also is the type to set the mood for these kinds of play. A spare room in the house with dark curtains,silk sheets and a chest full of all different types of things. He doesn’t really care who’s in charge in bed, that’s not really his aim. It could go either way for him.

-Jin’s kinda play is expensive. It’s nothing but the best for you, for both of you. He’s not one to flaunt his wealth but he’s always been a quality kind of guy. Your paddles? Leather,imported,small business. Your hand cuffs? Stainless steel and cushioned. Spanking bench? Cherry oak wood with velvet cushions baby. You’ve got matching harnesses in pink and white because of course something in here was going to be pink.

-he’s kinda just down for the ride. It’s that Sagittarius sun. You wanna tie him up? Cool. You want him to tie you up? Cool. You want to choke him? He’s down. His limits are around sharp pain and bodily fluids, besides cum because he’s very much so a much when prompted

-you better be ready though because when you get Seokjin in the right mood he is fucking until the sun comes up. This is usually when you’ve both been at an event—always his plus one—and there’s too many wandering eyes and not enough champagne. He’s surprisingly very possessive which you never would have clocked until it was prompted. So yeah he’s not one for sharing.

-he also does not breathe a word of your sex life to the boys or any other friend and he expects the same from you.

-lets just say that condom scandal held truth. because mans right here is packing the punisher. He got the back breaker, the cervix splitter 9000, you gotta be big and bad enough to ride this ride and you definitely are.

-as a trained actor one thing about Jin is he can embody a role. You want a mean dom? He can give you mean dom(after he’s done so so much research because he never wants to hurt you in a way that you don’t like). He can have you on the floor begging on your hands and knees tied to the leg of a chair like a mutt just to hump his shoe, when earlier that day homie was shuffling around the house in bunny slippers and an RJ headband. The duality with this one was crazy.

-he could also be tied up to the headboard of the bed begging you with tears in his eyes to just sink down on his cock and stop teasing him. Pretty pink harness on with pink padded cuffs to match. You know Seokjin and his love for pink, pink hair,pink microphone,pretty pink dick, just the basics yk?

-on the flip side if y’all aren’t in the play room, you’re getting your back blown out on your fluffy comfy king sized bed. It’s passionate, it’s sensual and it’s light hearted because one thing about Jin is he gonna laugh. One of you is gonna make a weird sound and he’s going to try so hard not to laugh, he really is, cause he’s balls deep and now is not the time but you guys make eye contact and it’s over. He’s fucking gone trying so hard to calm himself down.

Sometimes it ruins the moment but most of the time you’re able to pick up where you left off.

-all and all, Jin my first bias that wasn’t a leader, be throwing down in them sheets

[meowzilla93]

well then, we did a Possessive Derek, time to look into Possessive BAXTER!

Link here for the previous post for DEREK!

Baxter Possessive A Touch OOC:

It is very important to know that he will never control you, he is very respectful of you and wants what’s the best for you, but the beginning of your relationship, he just needs to make sure you are there with him

Lets be real, this man cannot stop touching you

You’ve come back into his life and all he wants to hold onto you, not wanting you to disappear like a dream

So, he will make it his life’s mission to make sure everyone knows that you are his, and he is yours

When he goes in to whisper in your ear, always nips at the shell or your lobe

If you pull away he just moves to your neck and leaves little nips until you stop moving away and can just kiss you gently – oh is someone watching? Let them

You have a work function? He went and grabbed drinks for you both and when he comes back he kisses the back of your neck/shoulder before handing over your drink. Making sure everyone can see that only he gets to hold you like that

Standing to your side and holding your waist? Sure, it's a classic. But standing behind you, towering you whilst his hand rests on your front/stomach, pressing you into him as he holds you... yeah that’s a move

Oh nobody is allowed to hand anything to you. He will take it for you. Your hands need to be free to hold onto him

We talking that if there’s little houderves being passed around, he will grab a couple for you with quick nimble fingers and feed you himself, to hell with everyone around you who is watching

No one can dance with you. You want to dance, he will dance with you all night long, every single different style you want. He will be respectful for a few, holding you where he should, but with some his hands will wander as he enjoys the feel of you moving with him around the dance floor

Mind, around people he trusts, not as much. He just seems clingier not protective or possessive – Trust is very key here

Oh but say that you need to talk to some people there, he can just go relax whilst you make connections

He is very understanding, after all work is important to you and you are important to him

He will not stay in your way

From a distance he is lounging at the bar and you have your back turned to him but he can catch the eyes of the other persona and just throws daggers and bad vibes until the guy feels off and walks away, you being none the wiser of what happened

(he swears he didn’t mean it)

(Like he just wants you to be happy but just can't stop the daggers from attacking everyone)

He can only be at a distance for so long, especially if someone starts being a little too friendly with you, maybe looking to reach out to you?

He walks up behind and hugs you from behind, throwing daggers at the person who got to had the audacity to try and be extra friendly with you

Oh is someone about to touch you? Maybe you aren’t realizing it or its just meant to be a quick tap on the arm

This man has had to deal with the knowledge that he missed 5 years of being able to hold you – how dare someone else try to have what he couldn’t

Baxter just comes in an intercepts it by either placing his hand directly where the person was about to touch, or by just grabbing their wrist firmly and just "I don't recall them saying they were comfortable with that" before releasing the wrist

Pull him up on his behavior and he bats the accusations, simply saying that he is there for you, and just wants to be with you as well

Forgive the poor guy for being so obvious without realizing

Ah but you know, if you tell him about someone at work pulling moves? Oh you can bet he is going to call you at work, come over for lunch when he can, make a statement that he exists

Flowers appearing at your desk, little notes saying how much he loves you

Lunch time phone calls or if he is the locale he will take you out for lunch

The more time he can spend with you the better

Oh my Royal Majesty, is someone making you feel uncomfortable?

Oooh he is not afraid to get behind someone and knock their knees out a little, causing them to wobble and maybe fall over and pretend like nothing happened

Perhaps someone is trying to get a dance from you and you don’t want to

Well them, he takes the offending person onto the dance floor themselves and holds them in a tight grip and he guides and twirls them, leaving bruising marks on their wrist and ribs

Just a ‘gentle’ reminder that people don’t like it when you don’t listen to what they say

You are everything to Baxter, his guiding star in the night, the bright sunrise in the morning

He will never allow anyone to make you feel uncomfortable in any way

Oh one last thing! Be prepared to never wear lipstick again

That rosy red colour your lips become after you both had a passionate kiss? Its become his favourite colour and is more than happy to contribute the effort to keep them that way

OH BUT WAIT

Was he maybe like this when he was 19?

Glad you asked

Yes, but he is much more RESERVED

He doesn’t deserve you after all, he is going to leave you at the end of summer, how could he consider being protective of you?

Doesn’t stop his heart from clenching whenever you are with others and they all get to hug and be merry with you as he needs to hold himself back

Oh but when its just you too, he allows himself to be a little selfish

Out for drinks, or a coffee or dinner?

Light touches here and there, just being able to have some of your heat

And when you initiate the hugs and holds, he will not let go until you do

You see someone from your school at the mall, he is not letting go

Wraps an arm around you as you talk to them, and he is being all nonchalant

It’s a subtle thing but its enough

You have someone, even if its just for now

And Baxter doesn’t share

Yearning for you from the distance, he cant help how he stares at you, and the daggers he throws at others when they hope to have a moment with you

But he knows he shouldn’t get in the way, after all, he is only there for the season and you deserve someone who will stay

But he allows himself that little bit of selfishness and holds onto you for those few short months

After all, you are the warmth that broke through the coldness of his life, and he wants to have that, even if its just temporary

[helloitstsyu]

dangerous woman | stacee jaxx [18+]

My masterlist

Pairing : stacee jaxx x fem¡reader

Warning : smut, masturbation, nsfw language, sex toy, minors dni!

Requested by my dear friend @elenavampire21 hope you like this ❤️

Something bout you, makes me wanna do things i shouldn't

Have you ever wanted something so bad knowing you shouldn't? Have you ever dreamed of something so bad knowing it is bad for you?

Stacee Jaxx.

Yes, the famous singer Stacee Jaxx. The man who is able to have hundreds of girls drooling for him. For a while, you really thought you weren't those girls. Those girls who are stupidly do as whatever he told. Those girls who would've died just for their stupid celebrity crush.

He does have an amazing singing voice, yes, and you can't lie to yourself that you quite like his songs too. But Stacee wasn't really much of a respective gentleman, so the idea of having respect, let alone worshiping him is not in your cart. You loathe asshole, specifically those who do as whatever they're please and not give a damn shit about anything else other than themselves. That pretty much sums up Stacee Jaxx's character.

Ever since you first met him in The Bourbon Club, he has shown you nothing but pain in the ass kind of attitude. He constantly thinks that he could have anything he desires easily because he's just the Stacee Jaxx.

Every conversation you exchanged with him is like a dreadful memory printed on your mind. Stacee Jaxx is the living example of vexation for you. But here you are again, completely possessed by the alluring charm of his as he performs Pour Some Sugar On Me. The way his body moves. Those flexing toned exterior of his, the way his skin glistening underneath the light. Oh, you're so feeling hot yourself.

Stacee knows what he's doing. He's totally meant to do it all to capture your very attention. Ever since he first laid his eyes on you, he knew he wanted you instantly. From your rare beauty to your smart mouth, he knew he's a goner for you. But what intrigued him more is your ability to resist him. No girl ever has done that to him, and to win you over will be his personal accomplishment he'd be proudly gloat on.

"Y/N!" Cherry, your boss calls you out as the music bangs louder at the end of the song.

You awake from your daydreaming thoughts and turn your head towards her. "Yes?"

"What are you doing here, i paid you for something, girl. Get to work and clean up upstairs!" She tells in your ear.

She's right. You shouldn't stay here and watch Stacee all night. It'll only make him believe that you're one of his admiring fans and make him be more overconfidently proud of himself. To which you'll hate more of him.

So you go upstairs, passing every one of the people in this crowded club. Meeting your colleague, she tells you she got the floor covered and asks you to just take care the VIP room. Entering the VIP room, you're surprised that no one is here, but the room is for sure messy as hell with bottles and glasses everywhere. So you decide to clean it up that way you won't have to stay late to work.

Working as a server in one of the biggest club in the city wasn't really on your new year'sresolutions, but this is your way to make a living so you just gotta do what you gotta do. It wasn't a dream job of course. You often get misunderstood, but you can survive each night. And you find each night to have its own interesting thing. Say you always have that dark, playful side of you. Something about the life of the night and the vibe of the club awakes something naughty inside of you.

As you're tidying the sofa area, underneath the pile of pillows, you find something.... A vibrator.

"Jeez.." you shake your head.

Taking the little pink toy, you nearly toss it to the bin. But before your finger let go of the item, you think for a moment. Something in you wanting to know. And for some reason, your mind decided to replay the memory of every encounter you have with Stacee. You're contemplating yourself, trying to fight every urge in yourself to play with the pink toy you found.

Looking around to find no one is around, you lay down on the sofa. Eyeing the stranger toy in your hand, you press the on button, and it starts to vibrate with a little buzzing noise. Biting your lip, you slowly draw the toy to your chest. It feels good as it makes contact with your skin. Slowly, you drag the toy across your breast and down across your body. The moment the vibrator hits your clit from above your jeans, you whimper.

Biting your lip, you chuckle to yourself. It feels so good, and you don't care if it's so wrong to do.

You unbutton your jeans, hands slipping underneath it as you bring the toy to meet your clit. Again, you press the on button. The moment it vibrates on your clit, you fight back a loud moan to spill out. As you close your eyes the picture of Stacee is still playing in your mind.

"F–fuuck—!" You whimper. Eyes fluttering open and close as you feel the building heat inside of you.

Feeling like someone is watching you, you look up, finding his reflection in the mirror. "Stacee," You gasp and jump in a scare. Turning your face around you meet him leaning against the door, hands on his pocket. He doesn't say anything. He just stares at you still, doesn't even move.

"Wouldn't you like to watch me,"

Stacee chuckles darkly, and he walks slowly towards you. "Don't let me interrupt you," he takes a bottle of scotch on the table in front of you and takes a seat on the sofa in front of you. He takes a sip of the scotch with his eyes still locked on you the whole time.

"So you're just going to watch?" You ask.

Stacee's slowly nods.

You have no idea where this confident comes from, but right in this moment, you're feeling dangerously confident. You for sure not going to chicken out the moment you're going to have your pleasure. There's just something about Stacee that makes you wanting to be like a dangerous woman. You lay down again on the sofa. Turning the little toy on again, you slip it again underneath your jeans to your clit. Stacee watches you with darkened, lustful eyes. Your whimper get louder by the seconds you press the toy on your clit. Hands traveling all around your own body, you grip onto the sofa as your body bends upwards. "Ahhh—!" You moan.

Stacee could feel himself hardening and losing room on his crotch. The way your legs jerking, body twitching, it nearly make him wanting to take out his cock and jerk himself too. The filthy moans slip out of your perfect little mouth sounds like the best music to his ear. He wanted to kiss and devour your mouth for so long that he has lost count how many times he had dreams of you.

And soon enough, you're spilling all over. You're moaning hard, body bending off the sofa, your toes curling, and digging the leather of the sofa. Opening your eyes toward him again, his breath is just as messy as yours. You stand up and strut your way towards him. You lean down onto him, face stays inches away from his. You look deeply into his eyes.

Stacee clenches his jaw, yet his deep intense glare never falters. A second past with silence with you just exchanging wordless conversation by eyes alone with the rockstar. "Well," you break the silence, eyes instinctively just drops down you could see the effect you put on him. The evidently tent on his crotch makes your breath stalled.

Eyes peering back up meeting his green orbs, You hand him the used vibrator to his chest. He grabs back your hand, a sly smirk appears on his face.

"That was fun," you devilishly smirk at him.

You could see the flickers in his eyes. That's the switch being pulled off. Just as you're about to stand straight and turn your back to him, Stacee grabs your face and pulls you to his lips. He pulls you onto his lap, your legs straddling his hips. Quickly, he finds a way to slip his tongue to meet yours. He hungrily kisses and devours you, his hands traveling all around you, slipping through your hair, grazing along your back. His touches send burning traces on your skin.

Stacee moves to kiss your neck. Wet sloppy kisses go all over your skin. He's trying to find your sweet spot, which he finds effortlessly. You're whimpering as he nibs the spot, you instinctively just grind on his hard center. "Ohh, Stace—" you whimper.

"You drive me crazy, Y/N," his deep voice growls in your ear.

Looking back to his eyes. You cup his face, "So beautiful," he whispers as he caresses your face gently.

His eyes light up with excitement, quickly he undress you. One by one, all of your clothes are tossed to the floor. You unbutton his pants, his hard cock springs free slapping his abs. Impatiently needing all of him, you push him inside of you.

"OH!" You moan as you feel his shaft spreading your tight walls.

"Fuck—!" He groans to you. His hands gripping you hard. "Fuck, baby!" He groans.

The fullness of him sends dizziness of pleasure to your mind. Slowly you start grinding on him, fucking him in a slow set pace.

"Oh, you feel so fucking good," Stacee holds your face. He rests his forehead on yours. Eyes are lost in the pool of pleasure. "So... tight..." he cooes.

Stacee rocks his hips upwards too, meeting you halfway, he fucks you back. "Stace..." you whimper.

"Darling—" he murmurs. With his hands gripping on each side of your hips, you fuck him harder, grinding even harder on him, you could feel him starts to throbbing inside of you.

His eyebrows furrowing, his breath ragging. You could see the sweat starting to collect on his chest, and his skin starts to turn into flush red. He's close, you know he's close. "What?" You tease him mischievously.

"P-please," he breathlessly beg you.

You giggle, "Oh he knows how to say please now."

The cocky asshole who do whatever as he pleases now is practically begging you. "Y/N!" He shut his eyes close and grip tightly on your hips.

"Don't cum yet, Stace!"

You chuckle, liking the way you have him right now. He's so.... babygirl, unlike the way he usually presents himself to everyone else.

You kiss his neck. Nibbling and sucking his skin, you leave your love mark there so that everyone knows you're the only one who's able to make him like this, be like this.

"F-fuck... Y/N—!" he groans.

Stacee pulls you even tighter, closer to his body as if there's more gap between the two of you. His hand wraps around you possessively. His eyes deeply look at you. You could feel yourself coming close to your edge too. With no warning, your pussy clench around him. You bury your face on the crook of his neck, nails raking his back that you're sure you have left a scar on him.

With your clenching walls, that is the end of Stacee. He couldn't keep himself even longer. You feel his seeds spreading inside of you. His body stills, he's breath ragging as he empties himself into you.

You push yourself from the crook of his neck, eyes meeting him again, Stacee is glowing with post-sex glow. He smiles and gently peck your lips. His fingers softly brushing through your hair. He leans closer to you and peck your forehead.

"That..." he pants, "That could be a record," he mutters.

He's so gentle that it melts your heart. You feel your cheek burning up, so you hide your face to his neck.

Stacee just holds you there gently, caressing your bare back affectionately. Then the snap of realization occurs to you, this is wrong. You shouldn't have done this.

"This is a mistake," you say as you climb off him.

"No..." he quietly says, "Y/N," you ignore him, you just pick your clothes on the floor and quickly leave him before he could even stop you.

[mykoreanlove]

doom in a cap

„Aren’t you sad?“

„About what?“, you asked confused.

„Well, about everything that happened? Or didn’t happen?“, your friend replied bewildered. 

Flashbacks of the first days after the incident made it into your mind, making you shudder internally. Low vibes, bad mood, constant longing and suppressed tears - the well known results of your own actions.

„What’s there to be sad about?“, you played it cool.

„Oh my god, y/n, keep it real, will you? You went out with Yoongi, your platonic friend, and met his friends, one of them being exactly your type.“

„He wasn’t my type.“, you interrupted. 

„He was enough to almost let him fuck you though…“, your friend mumbled under her breath. You shot her a glaring look, daring her to keep this going.

„Okay, fine. He may not have looked like your dream guy but you were certainly into him. And besides, all the other points were met! You told me so yourself - he was funny, smart, charming, successful and a fantastic dancer. Which is exactly your type, y/n.“

Your friend was right but you didn’t want to admit it. When you met Hobi for the first time you felt starstruck. He didn’t look like the guys you normally fantasized about but something about him made you feel for him. His cute smile, his sunshine aura, his whole being just made you feel fuzzy and warm. That feeling only grew as you got to know him more.

„He was just a flirt, okay?“, you tried to drop the topic.

„Maybe. But are you really okay with that?“, your friend asked concerned.

„What do you want me to say? That I’m sad? Fine, I’m sad! All night Hobi and I flirted and laughed and had a great time, we always found our way back to one another even though I was there with Yoongi, who was having the worst time as usual.“, you started to rant.

„Y/N…“

„You want me to say that I’m devastated? Yeah, I am. I wasn’t sure if he really liked me or just flirted a lot but when we all went back to his place it was crystal clear that he liked me, too. The conversations got more serious, the longing in our eyes got deeper and finally, when everybody else was asleep, he kissed me and confessed that he liked me.“, tears started to form in the brink of your eyes. 

Your friend wanted to console you but chose not to, giving you the time of day to finally admit how you really felt.

„Am I heartbroken because it felt like more when in fact it wasn’t? Yeah. I am. While everybody else was sleeping we were making out, quietly, giggling and panting like stupid teenagers. God, I would have fucked him all night long if it wasn’t for the fact that there were no condoms in his spare room. We went to sleep, next to his other friends, while we were hugging and kissing and grinding and ugh…“, you stopped frustrated.

„Did I want to be with him? Yes. Do I miss his fingers inside of me? Yes. Do I miss his strong grip on me? Yes. Do I miss the sound of his deep voice filled with sleep in the morning? Yes. Almost as much as his scent, so yes, I am sad. Happy now?“

„You know that I’m not, y/n.“, your friend said concerned.

„It’s just.. I feel so stupid, you know?“, you broke down crying.

„Why do you feel stupid?“

„Because every time I do something like this, some casual shit, it always ends the same. I mistake it for something, like it would mean something. When in fact, it’s just an act. Hobi didn’t ask for my number all night long, not once. All the cuddles and kisses and compliments were an act. Or maybe he meant them but he didn’t mean them enough to make them mean something. At least not with me.“, you explained saddened.

„You wanted him to want you more, right?“

You nodded silently.

„Even if this was just fun for a short time, I wanted to be the one deciding. Just once. Now I’m back at square one - falling for every guy that is nice to me when all they want to do is get in my pants.“, the bitterness was evident in your voice.

„We don’t know that for sure, though.“, your friend intervened.

„What?“

„I mean, there could be different reasons for him acting that way.“

„Reasons? As in plural?“

Your friend nodded eagerly.

„Yeah, I mean think about it. Maybe he just wanted to get in your pants and decided that this time was enough. Or maybe, he didn’t plan to get with you at all.“

„Is that supposed to make me feel better?“, you snapped.

„Geez, relax. You said so yourself - he is Yoongi’s friend. Maybe he knows more than you do?“ „What are you insinuating?“ „Yoongi might have feelings for you, y/n. And it would be a shitty move to get with you knowing that his friend has a crush on you.“

You paused for a moment and thought about the night again. 

Every time that Yoongi was near, Hobi was more restricted. The first time his hands landed on your body was when Yoongi left the club for a moment. The first time his lips crashed onto yours was when everybody else was sleeping, including Yoongi. In fact, every time Yoongi re-appeared was the turning point for Hobi, averting himself from you and growing more distant. 

Your eyes widened in shock, since you never had considered this possibility.

„You never thought about Yoongi having feelings for you?“

„Of course not. We are just friends. I don’t see him like that.“

„Yeah, but maybe he sees you this way.“

„Do you think he regrets it?“

„Hobi?“

You nodded silently. 

„I really don’t know. But I could understand him being hesitant with you now. Maybe he didn’t plan on hitting on you but it just happened, after a long night out drinking. And now he doesn’t know how to act.“

You let out a deep sigh. 

„This sucks.“

Your friend agreed, placing her head on your shoulder.

„I know.“

Thousand thoughts raced through your mind as you tried to make sense out of this. You didn’t want to hurt Yoongi but you were selfish enough to acknowledge that you were more concerned about yourself. If he wanted to, he would find a way to get in touch with you. You took another glance at your phone, staring at the black screen. An uneasiness spread through your whole body, clouding every cell with anxiety as you wondered if Hobi would ever want to want you. 

[nvvacanesworld]

Last Spring

ᯓ★ Jean Kirstein x Fem Reader

Summary: You guys met in spring, All was forgotten by Fall.

or

You and Jean fall in love after you meet at your local Roller Rink, all is well until a accident causes you to lose your memory, forcing you guys to sever what you’ve could’ve been.

TW!-Angst/No comfort, Fluff in the beginning then it gets bad :) Car accident, Confessions, Crying (aww the three C’s) , Jean moves onto mikasa (let me know is i missed anything)

Winter was finally over and it was your favorite season.

Spring

The beautiful flowers blooming in the lush grass. The weather that feels just right, not to cold, not to hot. Even what some people would consider the bad parts like the weather that could just never seem to stay consistent, or the pollen that caused you to sneeze constantly.

You loved all of it

What you loved most about spring though? Is that you finally had time to yourself. You were done with your exams. So that meant no more late nights studying ruining your sleep schedule trying to cram as much information into your brain as possible. Also Basketball season was over, meaning you didn’t have to stay after school practicing for something you weren’t even passionate about anymore. You could Relax.

Well not really

You were poor. You grew up poor and for a long time you were sure you would die poor because you never saw yourself being able to pay for yourself to go to a good college.

Until your senior year of highschool came and you got a offer to play basketball at a D2 school.

But just because you got a scholarship doesn’t mean all expenses were paid for.

So that’s why you found yourself, every spring, working at your local roller rink until it was time to play again.

—

“Hey? Everything alright?”

A deep voice broke you out of your trance. Almost falling off of your stool you rushed to answer the man.

“Shit! Fuck, I’m so sorry” Mentally face planing yourself. Really day dreaming at work Y/n? Fuck if you’re manager hears about this your screwed. “I’m sorry- uhh how can i help you?” Putting on your best smile to cover up the fact you were bad at your job. The man only laughed and smiled back at you. He has a nice smile. You thought to yourself as you stared into his hazel eyes that were locked with your e/c ones.

He had a boy next door vibe, he looks sweet, you thought again. He looked to be standing at about 6’2 inches. You trailed your eyes down his body.

Fuck he looks like he works out too

You could practically tell he was fit just from how he looked in his outfit. How his shirt hugged his body, How his arms filled into it just right.

Realizing you were literally checking a customer out you shot your eyes back up to his to find them not staring at you but at your upper body.  Particularly  your chest and the way your top hugged your breasts. When he realized you were looking at him his body stiffed up and a pink hue took over his cheeks. Aw how cute

“How may i help you?” You said again only this time you said it more seductively while smiling at him. He coughed into his hand speaking up again “Ah yea- um i just need a size 12 skates” He said holding up his shoes so you guys could exchange “Please” he added with a smile.

After getting his skates you watched him walk back over to what seemed to be his friends. Looking at the group you could tell they were hyping him up in some way and he looked so nervous. It was so cute.

He was so cute.

—

Looking up from the tables you just finished cleaning the time was 9:56 p.m. Great we close in just four minutes. You were so tired and just wanted to go home so you could shower and catch up on Love is blind. You were walking back up to the front desk when you saw that same guy again standing there. His eyes lit up when he saw you. He looked like he was waiting for you to come back there.

“Sir can i help you?”

When you finally reached him his body stiffened. He looks so awkward.

“Uh-“ Looking behind him he locked eyes with his friends at the front door who seemed to have been waiting for him. “I- Um- Shit”

He looked like a nervous wreck . Wiping his palms on his pants. Biting his lip. You really wish he would hurry up. Your bed is screaming your name right now.

“Can i get your number?” He said it so fast while closing his eyes like he was bracing himself for some sort of impact. Really? That’s it? The way this guy was acting you would’ve thought he was going to say he rammed my car trying to get out of his parking space.

You looked at him contemplating if you should or not. Before you could decide you needed to ask him just one thing.

“How old are you?”

His eyes widened at your question but he still answered with haste. “I’m 23” Smirking while he answered. Looking to have slowly gained just some confidence.

“Oh cool, i’m 20” You smiled up at him. Walking over to the counter you reached for a pen and paper. “I’m pretty sure my phone is dead right now but just take my number on this and text me when you get home” Keeping your smile as you handed it to him.

Your smile made him smile too. He accepted the paper “Thank you pretty, i’ll do that” He turned to walk away leaving you to watch him walk back to his friends who seemed so proud of him, one of them who had a buzzcut even fake fainted with tears in his eyes. Damn he must get no play. Laughing out loud at your thoughts you went to grab your purse. Looking at the clock again it read 10:00 p.m.

You went to turn off the lights to the building walking to the front door where you were met with the night time security guard.

“See you Tomorrow Y/n, Get home safe” Waving you off

“Byeeee see you tomorrow” You chirped back walking out the doors.

—

“And i don’t know he just doesn’t seem serious about me”

“Girl what about the other guy that you talked to in the pods ? What was his name..um..OH Jake, Yeah what about him?”

You were now in your bed with your face mask on totally embraced into this show. It’s not when you hear your phone ding that you take your eyes off the screen. Ruffling your hands through the covers trying to feel for your phone you finally grab hold of it and look at this message from a random number.

513-***-****

Hey😗

It’s Jean from the Skating rink

Well i’m not sure if i told you my name

But it’s jean

if you were wondering

which I’m sure sounds stupid now bc why wouldn’t you want to know my name

Before he could send anymore anxious messages you replied but not before save his contact

You

lmfao calm down it’s okay

hi jean i’m y/n

He replied back almost immediately.

Cutie from ma job😏

That’s a pretty name🫠

So….

If you had a hour left to live what would you do?

You

aldhdkdhjd

what?

uhh probably want to spend it with the people i love the most…

or maybe have my fav meal one last time

look at you coming in with a bang💀

Cutie from ma job😏

I’m just trying to get to know you beautiful 😪

wanted to ask you something that would make me stand out

can you blame a guy for trying?

You giggled at his message. You guess you couldn’t blame him for trying, and yo be fair you’ve bever got asked a question like that from a guy in the first few messages you share. It’s usually “wyd” or just back and forth flirting. He seems so sweet. It made you forget about your show and continue to text him

You guys had been texting for about a hour before he asked you something that made you sit up from your bed.

Cutie from ma job😏

I really like talking to you y/n

Can i take you out? On a date i mean

You deserve to get taken somewhere nice

Ok, now you were full blown smiling and you could fry an egg on how hot your cheeks felt. You’ve never felt a connection like this with someone just from texting nor had you ever came into contact with someone who seemed so genuine. So you did the only reasonable thing you could think of

You

CODE RED OMG HELPP

AJDHSKSHDJDJ

HELP ME

WAKE UP

PLEASE HELPPPPPPPPP

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

DUMB 🍑

WHAT HAPPENED???

ARE YOU OKAY??

DO I NEED TO CALL THE COPS?

Y/N ANSWER ME

You

NO NO NO

I’m okay

I just

I just 😪 fuck idk how to say this

DUMB 🍑

So god help me

spit it tf out

You

I got asked on a date 😀

*attachment 1*

DUMB 🍑

Awwwww

so?

You

WHAT ??

WHAT DO I SAY IM SCARED

FUCK CALL ME

Long story short, Mya, Your sister said to just go with what your heart desires and then went on this long speech about how she was sooo worried something bad could’ve happened.

So you did just that

You

where ya taking me?😙

Cutie from ma job😏

Do you like surprises?

You

…

yes🫶

Cutie from ma job😏

Be ready saturday at 8:00 p.m.

Send your address

or you can wait

up to you

Whatever makes you comfortable so rush❤️

You sent him your address after contemplating if he was trust worthy or not. After you sent it you screamed into your pillow thrashing in your bed like maniac. This was overwhelming for you.

When’s the last time you had a date?

—

This was the 5th time you looked in the mirror.

It was Saturday the clock read 7:56 p.m. He would be here any minute now and you couldn’t calm down. You were so anxious

Hearing the sound of car horn outside you jumped at the sound.

Fuck

Taking one last look in the mirror you rushed outside seeing his car parked in across the street from your dorm building. He was already waiting outside the car door to greet you when you got in proximity with his car.

“Hi” He said nervously. “You look amazing, i mean when do you not look amazing” He rambled

“Hi jean” Standing in front of him you got a good look at him. Finally locking eyes with those hazel eyes that drew you into him when you first met. “Thank you, You look very handsome”

Your comment obviously had an effect on him based on his reaction. He took his hand to his face to cover his smile. God he really was so cute.

—

“Okay cover your eyes for me”

“Got it” You put your hands over your eyes awaiting to see this surprise he was raving about so much. After about 5 more minutes of driving the car came to a halt.

“Can i uncover-“

“NO”

You pressed your hands into your eyes harder at his reaction. So hard you felt they could’ve got stuck

“Shit- I’m sorry pretty, i just don’t wanna ruin it, here let me help you out” You heard him get out the car and his footsteps come over to your side of the car.

“I’m right here” He reached over to unbuckle your seat belt his hand brushing over your thighs as he did. His touches were so light and gentle. It was like he was dealing with a baby the way he was treating you. Something so precious and delicate.

“Okay i’m ‘gonna lead you out now”

“Okay” You said so softly you almost didn’t catch it yourself. You’ve never felt like this before. It felt nice, You felt like you could depend on him and you never felt like you could depend on anybody.

Not even your own parents

Leading you out the car Jean held your hand as he walked down a path. You could tell you were outside because you could here the leaves crushing beneath your feet and the twigs snapping as you walked with him. Along with the nice spring breeze on your skin.

“Okay open your eyes now” whispering close to your ear. You could feel his breathe against your skin warming it when he spoke.

Uncovering your eyes the scene before you. Lanterns lit the area added just the perfect amount of light to the romantic atmosphere. Blankets used as padded big enough so you guys could late down and cuddle. A projector that was projecting your favorite movie waiting to be started.

But your favorite thing

When you and Jean were getting to know each other he asked you what your favorite food was. You didn’t think to much of it but looking at some of your favorite foods laid out of trays in front of you, you think to yourself on how he must have been planning this before he even asked.

It was so perfect you could cry

“Jean oh my goodness” your voice cracking as you tried to put into words just how all of this made you feel

“This is- It’s so- Wow jean i don’t even know what to say right now” Turing around so you could stare into his eyes that you saw were already looking back at you.

“You don’t have to say anything, i understand pretty, you’re welcome”

It’s crazy how he understood you and you guys just met. It felt like he was your boyfriend already and you guys just met.

“Come, Come sit down” He takes your hand leading you to the blankets sitting down with you after you take your seat.

Such a gentleman too

“I’m happy you let me do this for you” He looked at you with what looked like admiration.

“Jean you went above and beyond you didn’t have to do this, this is so much i’m just so speechless”

“A beauty like you deserves it” Reaching for you hand to hold it you took his hand. He pulled you into his chest and went to start the movie.

I can already tell ill remember this night forever.

—

It’s been 3 months sense your date with Jean and things have only gotten better. You two started dating but you wanted to take things slow, being so used to rushing into things and it back firing on you, you didn’t want that to happen again.

You were sitting at the front desk at the Roller Rink. Bored out of your mind, missing Jean.

It’s like the clock was taunting you with how loud it was ticking.

To say the least you couldn’t wait to get out of here. Especially because jean said he wanted to take you to you guys spot.

The spot he took you to on your first date had a tree that you guys ended up visiting every now and then. Whether it was to do study and do work, Or just to get away. It was you guy’s thing to just visit the tree from time to time.

He expressed how he had something really important to tell you so you couldn’t wait to say the least. Just thinking about it was making your day better.

Just then it was like a miracle happened.

“Y/n your free to go we aren’t to busy today so i can take it from here”

Wow how lucky am i?

Before she could say another word you rushed to clock out.

After clocking out you shot Jean a text

You

I GOT OFF EARLYYYYYYY!!

WOOOOO

i cant wait to see you ;)

Jean❤️

That’s amazing love

I’ll see you soon i’m already here ;)

—

Running to the tree you saw jean sitting there. He was doodling in his notebook but put it down when he heard your footsteps

You ran into his arms letting his snaking around your waist, yours going to wrap around his neck

“I’ve missed you so much pretty, how was work?”

“i’ve missed you more and It was good but please i don’t wanna talk about work jean”

You both laughed and you get comfortable leaning your back against the bark

“What did you want to tell me?”

Jeans eyes light up and he starts to use his middle finger to starch his thumb. Something you learned he did when he was nervous.

“Okay i need you to look at me when i say this” He fixes he posture and takes your chin into his hands to turn your face towards him. Locking eyes with those hazel ones you’ve learned to love. You brace yourself for what he is about to say.

“Since the moment i laid eyes on you it felt like i’ve known you my whole life, like i was looking into the eyes of a lover from a past life time. Getting to know you has been a blessing, it’s been just what i needed, i couldn’t imagine myself being with any of girl y/n. You make me so happy, whenever i lock eyes with you i know that i wanna grow old with you, and i’m saying all this because-“ He sucks in a breath

“I love you”

You didn’t even know you had tears coming out your eyes until Jean takes his hand to your cheek to wipe them.

“Don’t cry love, it’s o-“

“I love you too Jean”

—

Walking back to you guys car you guys go to your designated vehicles, not after agreeing to follow eachother to Jeans apartment.

Your so caught up in your own world right now. Everything is going amazing for you. You’re doing good in school on the track to graduating. You have an amazing boyfriend who just confessed his love for you and you have a great job lined up for you after you graduate.

You’ve come so far from when you were a kid. Nothing could go-

BEEEPP!

The blaring horn of a truck takes you out of your dream like trance. You look to your left and see a Semi Truck speeding towards you and it shows no signs of stopping.

You can feel like life flash before your eyes. The truck crashing into the driver side of your car making it glide across the rode on impact, flipping over and all. A loud crash is heard. The glass from your windows flying across the pavement.

You don’t feel anything at first. Until you look downwards and see blood everywhere. You start to loose consciousness.

..

…

….

Ba-dump

“Y/n!”

Ba-dump

“Baby please wake up”

Ba-dump

Until everything goes blank.

—

“Like i was explaining before Mr.Kirstien we can’t disclose anything about the patient not unless you are married or family”

“You have to tell me please, That’s my girlfriend in there i can’t be in the dark about this”

Jean drops to his knees in front of the doctor catching the attention of no other than your parents

“Please anything just is she okay? Will she be okay?”

The doctor pitches the bridge of her nose looking up while sighing

“Sir please get up-“

“Excuse me”

They both turn there heads at the sound of a women. Jean looks at her.

“Are you looking for my daughter?”

He must look a mess right now he thinks to himself. Bloodshot eyes from non stop days crying about you, Snot coming out his nose from his current crying, Face red and puffy.

But how could he not look like this?

He couldn’t be okay if he doesn’t know if your okay or not.

The women looks to be in about her 50’s but that’s not the crazy part.

She looks just like you. This must be your mother.

The doctor taking this as her chance to escape walking away leaving your mom to take care of it.

“A-are you y/n’s mom?”

“Yes i am” The women answered in almost a whisper. At this news Jean gets off the ground standing up straight. “Hi i’m- Hello Ma’am i’m Jean, Y/n’s Boyfriend” The women smiles “Ah yes she did mention how she had a boyfriend” At this news Jean gains hope

Is she awake?

“Is she awake? Can i speak to her ? Did she tell you that now ?”He is fumbling over his words rushing all his thoughts out at once. But who could blame him ? He was a wreck right now he didn’t know if you were dead or alive.

“She’s awake but-“ Her voice cracks “The doctor said she- Oh god i can’t do this” She breaks down into tears. Jean leads her to a seat taking a seat next to her as she sits down. Letting her hold his hand and cry on his shoulder.

After she calms down she starts to speak again.

“The doctor s-said she lost her memory and won’t be able to remember anything from before she woke u-up in the hospital. I-i- she doesn’t even remember h-er own mother” The women breaks down again not being able to hold in her emotions when she thinks about her daughter and what she went through.

Jean feels like the world stopped spinning. What? What did she mean you lost your memory? So you won’t be able to remember him? all the times you shared together?

He needed to see you

—

Looking out the window of your hospital room you felt numb. Not because of all the drugs in your body to make sure you were okay but because you it felt like you were rid of emotions. You felt bad for the women. You really did, but you just didn’t know her anymore.

The door to the hospital room opened revealing a man that stood at about 6’2

You could tell he worked out

But he looked so deflated.

Hm did she know him too?

“she” As in your past self. Because honestly that just wasn’t you anymore.

“Y/n”

“Hm”

You look at him with indifference as you watch his face fall. It was like someone pulled a plug on him. It’s like he knew this wasn’t the girl he knew

“You- You don’t remember me? At all”

You don’t say anything. Just because you think it’s obvious.He doesn’t take lightly to this though. Rushing to your side taking your hands into his. He’s squeezing the life out of you right now

“I need you to answer me y/n do you remember me ? at all?” His voice raises. He’s getting desperate. “Please it’s me, Jean” He says with a tearful smile.

He was oh so desperate.

“Look”

He felt his stomach drop

“I’m sure you and i guess- y/n, we’re very close but i don’t remember that anymore. I wish i did you seem so hurt right now but that just isn’t me” You sigh “I’m sorry, Jean”

—

It was Jeans Favorite season

Spring

The beautiful flowers blooming in the lush grass. The weather that feels just right, not to cold, not to hot. Even what some people would consider the bad parts like the weather that could just never seem to stay consistent, or the pollen that caused you to sneeze constantly.

But what he loved most about spring was his memory’s if you and what you once had.

“Jeannn come on, let’s go get our skates” His girlfriends mikasa drags him to the front desk. Jean winces at her touch not wanting step close to that desk. Let alone be in this place.

“Can i get two pairs of skates please? One size 7 one size 12..”

He stares at the desk and the new worker who is there.

Well not entirely new.

Because she may have your face, Your hair, even your scent

But that’s not you.

Jeans eyes met your e/c ones. He felt butterflies in his stomach. He wish something would snap in you and you would remember him, remember you and him and all the memories you shared.

But he knows that will never happen.

Jean loves spring he loved everything about spring.

But every spring he’s reminded of last spring.

and what you and him could’ve had.

An- Hey y’all okay so i’m not crying you are. But also more importantly this was not proof read at all so pls correct me if i have any mistakes and show me mercy as i am new to writing i’m trying my best so i may not be as good as these writers that get 1,000’s of notes but with time i will improve if you have any tips feel free to share with me in comments or dm’s i’m always down talk about writing ✍🏽, i’m very tired and have morning classes tomorrow. Thank you for reading 🩷🩷🩷🩷 mwah 💋

[digi-tama-in-your-pocket]

I don't think it's bad to enjoy a "childish" show. Like look at the people enjoying Bluey or My little Pony. I for myself really adore the Hamtaro-Anime!

I haven't watched the Tama-Anime myself, do you know a good place to be able to watch it?

Oh, I didn't mean anything bad by calling it childish, I was just trying to set expectations because I praised it a lot. I watch cartoons almost exclusively, I didn't want anyone coming into it expecting Digimon Adventure level story telling.

As for where to find it... let me just whip up a

Master Post of English Subbed/Dubbed Tamagotchi Media

TAMAGOTCHI VIDEO ADVENTURES - https://archive.org/details/videoplayback_20200604_2141

This is a pilot for a USA Tamagotchi cartoon that never got greenlit. I love that it keeps the color pencil aesthetic of the USA packaging in tact, but the voices are.. a choice.

TAMAGOTCHI: HONTO NO HANASHI "The True Story" and ANIME TV DE HAKKEN!! TAMAGOTCHI!! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU6ljemBE7o

This is Raw, but most of it you don't need to understand, it just tells the backstory of the Vintage era. Oyajitchi gets the Tamagotchi Planet drunk, and all the Tamas evacuate to earth, a UFO crashes into the back of a depressed professor Banzo, and he and his assistant Mikachu build the v-pets for them to live in and study them. The second half of the video are just short skits showing off the personalities of vintage era Tamas. These were considered lost media until recently, there are still a few missing shorts.

TAMAGOTCHI THE MOVIE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUUL5HLW4Lg&pp=ygUUdGFtYWdvdGNoaSB0aGUgbW92aWU%3D

English dub, if a sub exists, I haven't found it. This kicks off the Tamagotchi Connection era. The previous era of Tamagotchi had kind of an early pokemon vibe to it, sans the humans, they were weird creatures being studied, but this era will feel more like My Little Pony with the characters living in a community and being more individuals.

TAMAGOTCHI THE MOVIE 2 - THE HAPPIEST STORY IN THE UNIVERSE - https://archive.org/details/tamagotchi-happiest-story-eng-subs

Only a sub. They never dubbed this one. I think it's a better movie. I think this takes place before the anime series proper.

LETS GO TAMAGOTCHI - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWFJtQSVLrU&list=PLKXwifP6PSMUvFOebxBHCs1gZRmlAJpK8

A series of shorts, showcasing the Tamagotchis personalities, they're very cute. This is the dub. I've managed to find a torrent for a sub version on nyaa.si but there was literally no difference in the script, even a Japanese pun got translated the same as in the dub.

TAMAGOTHI SEASON 1: https://archive.org/details/37.-tamagotchi-battle-on-the-great-donut-contest

This is a dub of the first 12 episodes, which is the whole first season, said to be lighter on story than the rest of the series ( wish I could see the rest of the series to find out ), it's in a kind of a messy butchered state, a character speaks a bit of japanese out of nowhere in one part, I haven't watched all the episodes yet myself. You can find the first four episodes subbed on the Tamagotchi Archive Youtube channel, but i've never found any of the main anime subbed elsewhere.

TAMAGOTCHI - WELCOME TO DREAM TOWN - https://archive.org/details/tamagotchi-friends-webseries/01+%E2%80%93+Welcome+to+Dream+Town.mp4

This is an english dub for a webisode series they made to promote Tamagotchi Friends, and I only learned about this series last night ,as well as the device it's meant to promote. Supposedly these are just very short bits taken from a later season of the anime though. I haven't watched it yet. You can find subbed versions on this youtube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZ9rSKXGta_5flT2XLekrPq1m4ZFU1iWx

And that's all I can find. I really wish there was more. There's several seasons of the anime neither dubbed nor subbed , and lots more shorts ( coincidentally you can find all the Raws easily on archive.org, youtube, and elsewhere ) . But the anime officially ended a few years ago, and Bandai seems to have no interest in localizing it, they only seem interested in selling the v-pets and nostalgia based merchandise with gen 1 and gen 2 characters on it in the west. The only chance we have at official re-releases is if somebody like Discotek gets the licensee, which could happen, they have been doing great things with Digimon, and reminder, they have an official wishing thread for lisences on Reddit that they check from time to time, I'd suggest mentioning that you want it ( you can slip in other licenses you'd like as well, I want to see Animal Crossing Kirby and Mario anime myself )

That's still a slim shot though and I think we'd have better luck getting a fan subbing group to take the lead, but I don't know how to coax anyone into doing that without coming off as a freeloader trying to benefit from someone else's hard work, but god, please, if any fan subber is reading this, please consider the Tamagotchi anime. Save us from Bandai's miserly ways.

[moshpitgamma]

Since this is a most wanted part 2 story let's finish it!!!!!

Floyd x Reader|| It Ends With Us pt. 2

Words:idk lost count😂😁

Warnings:mild cursing, angst to fluff

Other: It’s kinda proof ridden😅

"I guess we just wasn't meant for each other.

He hoped and prayed that you were just heated in the moment because he didn't want you to leave. Before he could grab you and confess and hold you like he once did, you gave him a hurt expression and left.

The walk to the royal pod where his brothers were at was the worst 15 minutes of his life. He couldn't erase the look of hurt and embarrassment from your eyes that he witnessed when John called you out by your name and your previous love life.

Once Floyd made it to the pod he hesitated, but knew his brothers were probably getting worried for him so he went on and knocked and was invited inside by Viva. His brothers, including the sisters, felt the vibe change in the atmosphere when Floyd walked in, so he was the center of attention for the friend group for the start of the night. "Are you alright bro?" JD asked Floyd as he saw the expressionless face Floyd carried as he looked into the abyss of nothingness. Floyd didn't answer but showed acknowledgement to his older brother's concern.

"I bet that good for nothing s/o is probably crying and practically rethinking their life choices for not going with you" JD said amusingly as the other boys gave him a chuckle and some a high five for taking up for Floyd. "You hurt them" Floyd said silently before looking up, making direct eye contact with JD. "No i took up for you and made sure they knew who they messed with" Jd said confused at Floyd's statement. Floyd only shook his head, asked to be excused, and left the room leaving the boys filling a little guilty and sympathetic.

He knew JD meant good. Right?

That's the only thing Floyd could think of as he left the pod to get some fresh air. He needed to cool his mind off so he went to one place he KNEW he could relax.

The hill he proposed to you on...

When he made it to the hill, he heard little sobs coming from the familiar spot. He went to peak and maybe comfort the crying person, but once he figured out who the mysterious crier was, he was shocked to find out that it was YOU crying. He didn't want to intrude, but when he heard his name get mentioned in you little cries, he couldnt help but go to you.

"Are you ok?" Floyd asked but soon was blushing a little from your founded state on the soft grassy floor. You didn't say anything back but turned away and invisibly pouted at him for finding you like this. A few moments have passed and the only thing that could be heard was mother nature, both of you breathing, and your little sobs. Floyd didn't know what he was getting himself into, but he sat down beside you and slowly hugged you until you calmed down. Once you were calm enough to face him, you turned around and looked at him. "I'm so sorry Floyd," was the only thing you could say while holding back your own tears. Floyd was surprised to hear your apology after everything his brother did to you. "But JD-" "No it's my fault and I should've never got cold feet and let fear of hurting you and our future together get the best of me." Floyd couldn't believe what he was hearing and was trying to not get emotional, but what you said next made him try not to choke on his sobs.

"Floyd you were the best boyfriend I could've ever had. You were sweet, funny, nice, handsome, and everything a dream lover could want. And I fucked that up and I know you won't forgive me and everything your brother said is true. I am a fucked-up s/o and I am just a bad person."

....

The silence was so loud but before you could get up to leave you were pulled into a deep kiss by none other than Floyd. "I always forgave you and I always missed you. Everything JD said wasn't true and he was just defending me. I don't care how scared you got when I proposed but I will always love you y/n and I will always think of you."

His words hit you like a train and all the emotions hit both of y'all. You couldn't think of anything else but him and only him. You kissed Floyd again and stood both of yall up. Before he could say anything, you grabbed his hand and asked him a very important question.

"Would you like to start over with me?" After you asked the question, you turned your head and was ready for rejection but heard some very familiar words.

"Of course. We are meant for each other, right?"

You couldn't do nothing but laugh "Right."

[hazelira]

Alexa, play beside you by keshi on Spotify

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Jungwon sat in the quiet of the dorm's living room, his gaze shifting from one member to another. Sunghoon was staring blankly at his phone, lost in thought. Sunoo's usually bright eyes were clouded with something he couldn't quite place. Heeseung was pacing back and forth, his mind somewhere else. Jungwon could feel the weight of their unspoken worries and wished he could erase their pain.

It's just you and I, and no other guys. We got no interruptions, and we both feelin' the vibe.

He remembered the late-night conversations, the laughter, and the shared dreams. They were more than just bandmates—they were family. As the leader, Jungwon felt a deep responsibility to look after them and ensure their well-being.

He stood up and walked over to Sunghoon, who was sitting beside him. "Hey, are you alright?" he asked softly.

Sunghoon looked up, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just thinking."

Say I'm not your type. But I know what's on your mind. We can talk about nothing or see what it's like.

Jungwon knew better than to press further. Sometimes, just being there was enough. He gave Sunghoon a reassuring pat on the back and moved on to Sunoo, who was absently flipping through a magazine.

"You know we're here for you, right?" Jungwon said, his voice gentle.

Sunoo nodded, but the sadness in his eyes didn't fade. Jungwon wished he could take away whatever was bothering him.

Don't lie, baby, don't lie. His love never felt right. Switch sides, and I'm beside you if you say it's alright.

He continued making his rounds, checking in on each member and offering a word of comfort or a simple hug. It was all he could do, but he hoped it helped.

Later that night, Jungwon decided to go live on WeVerse. He knew many of their fans were struggling and wanted to offer comfort. As the comments poured in, he saw messages from ENGENEs sharing their bad days, worries, and need for reassurance.

Way too many heads; need a steady view. Smokin' cigarettes at the rendezvous. I never meant to cross you. But my jaw hit the floor with the one, two. Think I want you.

"Hi, everyone," Jungwon greeted, his voice warm. "I see a lot of you are having tough days. I want you to know that we're here for you. We're all going through something, but we have each other."

The comments flew by, some thanking him, others sharing more about their struggles. Jungwon read each one, his heart aching for the fans who looked to them for comfort.

Don't be shy, you decide. Say, can I make you mine? Don't lie, baby, don't lie. His love never felt right. Switch sides, and I'm beside you if you say it's alright.

"I wish the world were kinder to all of us," Jungwon continued. "To you, to my members, to everyone going through something. We may not always get to reply to every message, but please know that we care about each of you."

As the live stream progressed, he tried to respond to as many comments as possible, offering encouragement and love. He knew it wasn't enough, but it was all he could do for now.

Your skin is so fine. Come close, baby put it on mine. It's just you and I, and no other guys. We got no interruptions, and we both feelin' the vibe.

After ending their live, Jungwon leaned back in his chair, exhaustion washing over him. He looked around the dorm again, seeing his members finally relaxing, their expressions slightly lighter.

"Jungwon," Heeseung called, walking over to him. "Thanks for always looking out for us."

Jungwon smiled, his heart swelling with a mix of pride and love. "It's what I'm here for."

As he lay down that night, he thought about his weight—not just his own, but that of his members and their fans. He wished the world would be kinder, but until then, he would do everything he could to be the support they all needed.

Don't lie, baby, don't lie. His love never felt right. Switch sides, and I'm beside you if you say it's alright.

And with that thought, he finally drifted off to sleep, ready to face another day of being the strength for those he loved.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics With Titles That Start With I (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

i bloom just for you - gorgeousdan

Summary: dan and phil’s first dance at their wedding, as seen by cornelia

i come undone when you're gone (ao3) - heartbreakordeath

Summary: who knows what the future holds (i don't know)

don't matter if i got you, got you (i got you)

~bastille, 'future holds'

or: the US tour is over. it's time for dan to come home.

i could listen to you all night long (ao3) - overmyhead

Summary: The night before Dan gets on the train to Manchester for the first time.

I Dare You - fiction-phan

Summary: “I'm egging your house for a dare but your parent is a cop and they're yelling at me so I told them that you were my ex and you wronged me but now you're coming outside and please go along with this, I don't want to go to jail.”

I Don't Love You (ao3) - Raspberrysaxophone

Summary: Dan and Phil work in an office and are (unfortunately) sharing a desk. Phil is often away on business or working from home so they are never there at the same time. They both get frustrated with how the other one organises the shared space and tell each other that through notes

- or -

Dan and Phil hate each other, but soon Dan realises that he is developing a crush on him. What will a New York business trip (where they are sharing a room xxx) do to their relationship?

I know you, hands under my sweatshirt (ao3) - midorijpg

Summary: “How are you?”

It's with an undertone of fear that he dares ask that, as always, even if he knows that he’s lucky if Dan even decides to answer. And as he imagines, Dan just tilts his head, looking at him as if lost in thought, swinging the bottle with his hand before just resting it on the floor.

“Make room,” he just says.

“What?”

“I said, make room.”

or, something something about having bad days and growing up and realizing you don't (completely) fit in couches anymore.

I Like my Men How I Like my Gin and Tonic (ao3) - BREAD2000yeet

Summary: Dan gives a C- blowjob and an receives an A+ handjob emo boys kissing vibes they r in luvv

I Love You S’more - nebulous-frog

Summary: Dan and Phil had never had s'mores, and their American crew members decided that it was their duty to fix that. Phil makes some messes and Dan is FondTM.

I Needed You - placingglaciers

Summary: In which Dan and Phil meet each other again after so many years under the most unlikely circumstance.

I try to picture me without you but I can't (ao3) - solarpower21

Summary: After Dan's tragic death, Phil starts having a bunch of strange dreams where he is still alive. But are they really just dreams?

Or: Phil's soul consciousness can't cope with Dan's death, so he starts hopping between different universes, trying to look for him.

I’ll Fight for You - ineverhadmyinternetphase

Summary: Dan’s tired of the constant messages asking about him and Phil, tired of fielding questions, and he snaps and takes it out on Phil. But Phil isn’t going to give up on him.

"I'm a big fan of tops" (ao3) - Scuddleduck

Summary: Set immediately after filming the keep or yeet Phil's closet video.

Dan gets hot and bothered after watching Phil take his clothes off over and over again.

i’m electric, a romantic cliché (me and you were meant to be in love) (ao3) - nardfx

Summary: “i really don’t know if i can do this.”

“you can do this.”

“okay, but what happens when everyone’s eyes are on me and they all know all of my secrets?”

or

dan and phil go to prom

In another life you still would’ve turned my head (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Dan comes across old black and white photos of two queer men messing around, one playing with the other's hair, just like he did in a recent video with Phil. He gets caught up in the emotions that he would have fallen in love with Phil in any universe. He crawls into Phil's lap and tells him exactly that.

in this smoking chaos (ao3) - writingcollective

Summary: Dan bottoms for the first time, not being able to shut down his inner demons that whisper internalised homophobic thoughts into his ear. But Phil guides him through it, somehow.

It Hits Different (ao3) - danisnotinteresting

Summary: I really have no summary for now, just read the tags please

It’s All Fun and Games (Until You Get Blackmailed - doomedhowell

Summary: Dan and Phil are in a relationship, but everybody at school thinks they hate each other. In order to have a fun date night, Dan and Phil travel out of town so nobody recognizes them. They think they’re safe, but are they?

it's amazing that you care (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: phil is having one of his dizzy spells whilst dan is on tour in america

It’s Different in the Dark - howthemoonsuitsthenightsky

Summary: When a leaflet for a haunted house comes through the door, Phil really wants to go, but Dan is less keen. 

It’s You, and Only You (ao3) - Liorisnotonfire

Summary: Dan and Phil are frum (religious) Jews who go to an LGBT Jewish Pesach (Passover) retreat and find moments of community after a year of lockdown due to Covid-19.

A fic about having a unique, delicate, and maybe uncertain religious and queer identity, but finding home in the person you love. Also about loneliness and confusion, and trying to make life better. Featuring the rare insecure Phil

[the-present-is-a-gift-au]

Chapter 5: In Which a Nickname is Given

Over the following days, Twig swiftly learned that Darkrai was shockingly clingy. She would stand up from a spot she'd settled in and he would rise as well to follow her to her destination, and he would only leave whatever room she'd stepped into when she left it herself. With the fact that he'd politely turned down her offer to stay in the guest room, and Twig subsequently facing the options of either sleeping in a linen closet or keep sleeping in the main room where he'd set up shop, this was awful for her nerves. If she thought trying to sleep around Dusknoir the night the Future Trio returned was bad, trying to catch any winks with Darkrai in the room was infinitely worse. She kept jerking awake from nightmares, much to her bewilderment. 

Didn't Darkrai lack his memories? Why would he send nightmares to torment her in the night when he had no reason to? She intended to confront him about it in the morning, but his level tone cut through the silence one evening after she bolted upright in bed, gasping for breath after a dream of being buried alive. 

"Apologies," he said, monotone, clear, and deliberate. "I'm afraid I don't have much control over my… peculiarities."

She dragged a hand down her face. Yeah. Cool. Okay. She probably should have anticipated the fact that the guy who was once bent on throwing the world into eternal darkness had an aura of bad vibes that sent you spiraling into nightmares if you slept around him. It made sense in hindsight. 

Speaking of hindsight, she should have thought up a cover story before now. 

Darkrai clearly knew something was up with her. It took her forever to think up a false origin story for him, and her nervousness as she brainstormed all the details and tried to memorize them, keeping everything in her head and never daring to put them on paper, all made her look suspicious. She must look sketchy beyond belief as she wrung her hands and fidgeted in the corner across from Darkrai, glancing up every so often and then looking askance. But she finally had a cohesive narrative in mind, so she finally broke the news.

“We used to know each other,” Twig said over dinner one evening, “before you lost your memories.”

Darkrai looked up, but didn’t speak.

“I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, because, uh… well, it seemed like you didn’t mind not knowing? That was the sort of energy I got, at least!” She forced out a nervous chuckle. “But, um. I figured it’d kind of be a jerk move to keep it to myself, you know?”

He made no move to respond— just stared at her unblinkingly.

“You used to be a sort of traveling do-gooder. You’d go from place to place, and you’d help however you could. We crossed paths a couple of times when my exploration team was on expeditions.” She couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore. She fixed her gaze on the tabletop and continued, “What you did meant a lot for a lot of people. I know lots of folks wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for your help.”

He didn’t react— didn’t say anything, didn’t incline his head, didn’t even flinch at the supposed reveal of his past. He just sat there and stared at her. Did he know she was lying? Did he remember his past already and had caught her in her bluff? Was he going to kill her? Was he—

“Interesting,” he said, and went back to his meal. 

She blinked, surprised. She wasn’t too confident in her skills at lying, but he wasn’t calling her on her bluff, not yet… Mission accomplished? Maybe? Hopefully?

***

Twig couldn’t hide away in her home for forever, much as she wanted to when faced with the thought of explaining her sudden multi-day absence from appearing in Verdant Village. But no matter how she would have loved to spend the rest of her life rotting in secret within the walls of her home, her lack of preparation for cooking for two meant the pantry was practically empty. She needed to go to the market and get some staple ingredients so that she wasn’t just roasting apple slices— and even those would be gone eventually, so she probably should just face the music and stop putting off the inevitable grocery run.

Darkrai, of course, made to follow her out the front door. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here?” She asked, forcing a smile that wobbled far too much to be convincing. 

“I believe a bit of fresh air would do me some good,” he answered. 

He didn’t comment on the way her hands twitched around the strap of the shopping bag she’d slung over her shoulder or the way her smile wobbled even more. Twig had no idea whether that was a good or bad thing. 

Twig bought everything on her shopping list in record time and managed to escape the market before it was even remotely crowded. Darkrai trailed after her in eerie silence, just a few feet away at any given time, and it was messing with her head to have him so close by. Her safety net of routines was already up in flames which meant that she was floundering emotionally, and having the guy behind roughly eighty-five percent of her collective neuroses practically attached to her hip was not helping. Thankfully, she was on the final stretch of road to reach her home, and she could enjoy the greater amount of space he offered when they were in the same room. She couldn’t wait to collapse into her bed, unwanted spectator be darned. She could make the excuse that she wasn’t good with crowds or something like that. Nevermind that the market barely had a handful of other shoppers while they were there— she was too tired to think up another reason. 

But of course Gardevoir and Gallade had to be out in their front yard when they passed.

“Twig!” Gardevoir called from where she knelt in her garden. She dusted herself off and swept over to the roadside to meet her. “We haven’t seen you in quite some time. Are you alright?”

“Yep! Just peachy.” Please don’t let her notice that my smile isn’t reaching my eyes. Does that mean a charmeleon is faking their smile like it does for a human? Frick, fudge, heck— “I’ve just had some stuff come up that needed some attention.”

She hummed, then glanced over her shoulder. “Oh, pardon me, who is this fellow with you?”

Darkrai began to introduce himself, and it was in that moment that Twig processed two things— first, that your average pokemon wouldn’t recognize a Legend based on sight alone. They didn’t have photographs or really any sort of mass-produced images in wide circulation, if in circulation at all, which meant they didn’t have pictures of the physical manifestations of the functions of the universe handy. All of that was to say that Gardevoir didn’t recognize Darkrai. Yet. Because her second realization was that your average pokemon would absolutely know the names of any given Legend, which meant she needed to cover her tail, and fast.

“My name is D—”

“Ark! Ark. His name is Ark.” She could feel herself vibrating out of her own skin with nerves as all eyes turned to her. “He’s staying with me for a while. And, um, I’m sorry, but I need to get to my place to put away some groceries.” 

“Oh!” Gardevoir nodded. “I’m very sorry for stalling you, Twig. Glad to have met you, Ark! I hope we see each other again soon.”

“Well met,” Darkrai replied, and had to swiftly pick up the pace to return to his place in Twig’s wake as she bolted to the house.

She didn’t speak as she stuffed all the groceries into their proper places in a linen closet-turned-pantry. But it eventually occurred to her that she should. “Sorry for butting in back there. Um. I forgot to say that everyone called you Ark. It was kind of your thing to not go by your species name.”

He loomed at the end of the hallway, his shadow blocking the light from the windows of the main room. The brightest light in the hallway was the chilly glow of his eyes as he silently picked apart her every move. She felt like she was being dissected with how he took in everything she did with a clinical gaze.

He hummed quietly. A noncommittal sound that didn’t indicate his thoughts whatsoever. “Interesting.”

Twig was going to have a heart attack one of these days, she knew it. 

***

Twig broke out an old journal she had only ever used for kindling on rare occasions. It wasn’t often that she pulled it from its place on her nightstand— which was really more of a small floor table than the nightstand she had as a human— but she found herself needing its services as she woke up from another nightmare. Darkrai stared out the window from his place across the room, the picture of serenity despite the nightmare Twig had to claw her way out of seconds ago. Her resolve was wavering, and she needed to bolster it up fast. She scratched out a quick pair of lines with a piece of charcoal she kept at the journal’s side— one line long and vertical, dividing the page down its center, the second line closer to the top and horizontal. She scribbled out a pair of words in English in either of the topmost boxes she’d set apart. Darkrai couldn’t read English, could he? No pokemon she’d encountered could. She was in the clear— if he ever went snooping, he wouldn’t know she was writing out a pros and cons list on why she should or shouldn’t keep watch over him. 

The pros for kicking him out and going about her life were numerous. She would actually sleep through the night once in a while, she wouldn’t have to constantly police what she said for fear of awakening the memory of some motivation for starting the literal apocalypse, and she could actually get some time to herself so she could cry in peace every now and then. There were a host of other pros, but those stood out as the most appealing right then.

The cons— or rather con, singular—  meanwhile, outweighed everything she could summon. Stop another apocalypse before it happens made all those delightful reasons to give Darkrai the boot shine out in just how selfish they were. No, she wouldn’t let herself buckle in this. It was just one job. One thing for her to do to save the people she loved and the world at large. She could handle that. She had to handle that. 

She felt tears prick at her eyes from how overwhelming it all was.

Darkrai cast a glance her way. He seemed nearly worried.

Twig snapped the journal closed and rolled over in bed, musing on how familiar it felt to write out the letters she had studied over and over as a human, even if her hand didn’t quite hold a pencil right any longer. 

***

There was a knock at the door. Twig staggered out of bed to answer it.

“Hi Twig!” Lyra said, beaming. “Mom and Dad thought that you looked kinda sad the other day, and they said that they wanted to make you something nice, so they cooked a big pot of stew for you, and I helped a whole lot! I peeled the potatoes by myself. And I didn’t miss any peel-y bits. Dad said you don’t have to peel potatoes for stew, but I still did it because I don’t like peels, so you probably don’t either.”

The girl held out a large covered pot, little arms shaking with the effort. Twig caught it when it slipped from her hands. “Ah— careful! You don’t want to drop it.” She frowned. “Did your parents send you out to bring the pot here on your own? It’s pretty heavy.”

Lyra put her fists on her hips, puffing out her chest. “No, Dad said he would bring it on his way to get some firewood, but I said I wanted to do it! Did you see how strong I was? That pot is as big as my head, but I still carried it all the way to your house, and I didn’t spill a drop!”

Twig found herself smiling despite her exhaustion as she shifted her hold on the pot, noticing points where the broth had sloshed out on its journey here. Gosh, this kid’s enthusiasm was precious. “You didn’t, did you? Nice work, Lyra.”

“Who’s that? Is he your exploration team partner?” She gave a little gasp. “Is that Kip? Oh, wow, hi! I’m a big fan!”

Twig frowned, confused, and nearly dropped the pot herself when Darkrai’s voice sounded from directly behind her. “No, I’m not a partner of hers, nor am I named Kip. Though it would be fascinating to be on an exploration team, admittedly.”

Lyra chattered excitedly about how she wanted to be an explorer when she grew up, and Twig could barely hear the familiar rambling as she realized something. Kip. Oh, gosh, if he knew about Darkrai… Ever since the battle at Dark Crater, he’d gone from being scared of Darkrai to shaking at the very mention of his name. If he knew about her new roommate and the looming threat of Darkrai’s returning memories, his heart would give out on the spot. She’d sent him a letter recently, so she had time to figure out a cover story, but Arceus, she was not looking forward to the thought of him learning of Darkrai’s return. 

Kip wouldn’t be on his expedition forever. Eventually, he’d come back to Treasure Town, and he’d want to know why Twig was so jumpy. He’d already started suspecting something was amiss when her memories returned and she was back to refusing hugs or handshakes from everyone but him, but he'd never confronted her on it. She didn’t want to think about how she’d juggle keeping both Darkrai and Kip from finding out about each other. She’d rather die. 

She thanked Lyra again, cutting her rambling about exploration teams short, and asked her to thank her parents for her. “And thanks for all your work peeling the potatoes, I’m sure you did amazing! I need to put this on the stove now, see you soon, okay?”

Lyra pouted. “Aw. But I’m having fun talking to Ark.”

Darkrai gave Twig a brief, appraising glance out of the corner of his eye, then turned his gaze back to Lyra. “I’m afraid there’s work to be done for me as well. It was nice to meet you, miss… ?”

“Let’s talk again later. You’re cool. Bye Twig! Bye Ark!” She turned and started down the road to her house, half skipping and half running as she hummed to herself. Twig and Darkrai both watched her go. 

“I prompted her several times for her name, and she never seemed to recognize any of them,” Darkrai mused.

Twig was jolted from her swirling panic by his quiet frustration. She almost laughed at how frazzled he sounded. “Her name’s Lyra. The gardevoir and gallade that live over there are her parents.”

“I gathered as much. She’s… very familiar, isn’t she?” 

“F-Familiar?” She worried that he was referring to his past, even indirectly, but then remembered his strangely dated vocabulary. “Oh. Yeah, her parents have tried to get her to be more well-mannered, but the lessons don’t stick. I’m not exactly a good example, and she kinda puts me on a pedestal, so that doesn’t help either.”

“Hm.” He followed after her as she turned back inside. “You do have a particular way of speaking, come to think of it.” 

“Um. Thanks, I guess?”

“I mean no offense. Only that your speaking habits are dramaticized when compared to your neighbors.”

Twig narrowed her eyes as she spat a small flame to light the stove and start to heat the stew. “Yeah, uh… I’m not exactly from around Verdant Village.” 

“From where do you hail?”

“Way off from here. I don’t even know what it’s called— if it had a name.” That wasn’t a complete lie. She didn’t know the name of the area she had grown up in beyond its numeric bunker designation. The name for the plot of land on the surface above it had never been revealed to her after her escape from the underground. 

Darkrai hummed a low note. "Curious." 

Twig didn't like him asking so many questions. She needed to start expanding the cover story, and fast.

[carolrain]

Good Vibes Tuesday

Are we doing Good Vibes Tuesday again? Well, if not, I’m doing Good Vibes Tuesday a week late.

(Thank you for tagging me last week, @mostlyinthemorning, @jesuisici33, @trickiwooao3)

Here's how @mostlyinthemorning explained it: I'm in the mood for some positivity this morning, so let's share something that makes you happy about fandom*. It can be anything you like—a person or blog you appreciate, a post that made you laugh, a fic you liked, anything that puts good vibes into the world.

*fandom can be whatever you want it to be

I’ve been reading 5+1 Things fics (for Schitt’s Creek) and I think all of you who have written them are so creative and fun. I love the various ways the format and subjects are explained. Here are just a few of my favorite “thesis statements”:

Or One haunted bed and breakfast that wasn't and five perfectly normal places to stay that were.

Five times Ruth comes in to ask for a book from Stevie, and one time she brings Stevie one of her own.

Six of Patrick's first times - or, five times Patrick explores his identity, and one time he ends up exactly where he's meant to be.

Or 5 ways the robbery could have gone down differently and 1 way that it didn’t.

Or five times Johnny wasn't sure about Patrick and one time he was.

(or 5 things Patrick frames for David + 1 thing David frames for Patrick)

Five times Patrick could have come out to his parents and 1 time he did

Here are 5 sweet Christmas moments Marcy was so glad she got to witness plus 1 she really wishes she hadn't overheard.

Five times Patrick was cold (and David warmed him up), and one time he was nice and toasty (also because David warmed him up). Kind of.

OR 5 moments in his life where Patrick made a spreadsheet to help him decide and 1 time he didn’t.

5 times David calls 911 when he shouldn't (+1 time he calls when he should)

Five Dances Patrick Has At His Wedding That Aren’t With His Husband and One That Is (Plus a Bonus)

Five of Patrick's birthdays we don't see in the show, and one we do.

Five times Alexis and Twyla talk at Café Tropical. And one time they talk somewhere else.

Five times Rachel spends the night at the Brewers', and one time David does.

Five times Alexis ran from grief, and one time she didn’t.

Five (tender) moments in cars we didn't get to see between David and Patrick, and one we did.

A 5+1 in which Twyla wears Alexis' clothes and Alexis is steadily driven insane by it.

Five hikes Patrick took with Alexis, plus one he took with David.

OR 5 times Esthelle Janes runs into David and Patrick and 1 time one of them finds his way to her.

Five New Year's Eves that failed to live up to David's expectations and one that surpassed them.

Five times Patrick has a lot of thoughts about touching David. And one time he doesn't overthink it.

Ray’s adventures on Bumpkin: the aftermath of five bad dates and one good one.

AKA 5 times David overreacted and the 1 time it was Patrick.

literally just Patrick realizing he wants to marry david forced into a 5+1 things format

(I'll put titles, authors, and links under a cut.)

A Room With A Boo by @januarium

as close as pages in a book by @stereopticons

at the right time, in the right surroundings by spelling__bee (@emotional-synth-music)

Bein' a Villain, for a While by @weathereyehorizon

everybody knows the secret by @fishyspots

Frame of Reverence by @lilythesilly

got to let it show by heartwarestore (@phansterdam)

Have Yourself A Marcy Little Christmas by YouWereAlwaysGonnaBeTheOne

i don't wanna go a (cold) day without you by @thegrayness

If/Then by ishandahalf

In Case of Emergency by @rosedavid

It Feels Like A Dream When You Love Me Tenderly by wanderhomeagain

Just give me all your mind (I've got a surprise) by @yourbuttervoicedbeau

know that i'm yours (to keep) by singsongsung (@anniemurphys)

Let's All Start Living for the One That's Going to Last by @norskheks

like glass from sandy ground by @middyblue

nothing safe is worth the drive by wardo_wedidit

one single thread of gold (tied me to you) by doingthemost (@sarahlevys), @roguebebe, @sunlightsymphony

Rattlesnake Point by @streetlampsunset

Share Your Address by @colourcodedbinders

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot? by iola17 (@beaiola)

Sometimes When We Touch by @delilah-mcmuffin

Swiping Regret by @treepyful

Take a chill pill by The_Forgotten_Nobody (@scarlett-ice)

what’s left is forever by roseapothecarys (@plainest)

What's giving you good vibes today? @lizzie-bennetdarcy @ramonaflow @demora00 @mallpretzles plus any of you other 26 people I tagged should feel free to jump right in.