#Nick is batshit insane

[kennyomegasweave]

I LOVE this show. Absolutely every single man is dickmatized in various degrees. Completely and utterly dickmatized. Bewitched body and soul by penis.

Nick's a whole ass mess. Dressing like Top and still staying with Boston after that, quite frankly, pathetic display where Boston was throwing a lot of stones at Ray that were clearly not just about Ray. 💅

Boston's most certainly going to ruin his entire life. I don't think he's gonna break up the friend group. He might break up Top & Mew and possibly Sand & Ray, but not the other three's friendship. But he's still not some evil sociopath, he's just a 22 year old asshole. And I still don't think Boston's lied to Nick about anything except his feelings for Top. 💁‍♀️

I really REALLY want to know why he said Mew and Ray boned to Ray's face. I believed Mew last week, because why would he lie in just a scene with Ray (unless he's Thai!Dan from Gossip Girl) but thinking back, I don't think he ever said they didn't have sex to anyone but Top. He just told Ray he wasn't interested and never was.

I still don't trust Top. At all. Sorry I'm not sorry. But since I now have suspicions about Mew lying to him about Ray, they just became interesting as a couple to me. They might both just be playing each other. I also don't think either of them are in love. Sorry I'm not sorry, Part Deux. Also, it's weird as hell that every single place he goes with Mew has some random dude coming up and trying it. I get he's the hot fuckboy, but why is he running into people EVERYWHERE who he smashed, knows, or want to smash him. 🤔

I only yelled STAND UP GIRL at Sand once. I still think he needs to play New Rules on repeat until he internalizes and lives it. Having said that, I think Ray is catching real feelings. I just don't think he even knows what those are because I'm Team He Never Actually Loved Mew He Just Latched Onto The One Persom That Made Him Feel Alive After He Tried To Die. Been there, done that, took a decade to get over it. 😬

I cannot believe Sand just took Ray to his room after the fight. Like. At least make him sleep on the couch so you can cry alone in your room? I think Ray was genuine when he told Sand to just ask. Also, just straight up doing shots after the fight is something my alcoholic ass cannot even talk about, so I won't. But this is gonna get A LOT worse for Ray before it gets better.

Also, let that fight be a lesson as to why you don't get crossfaded around the wrong people. At no point should Ray and Boston ever be on two or more drugs around each other. I don't care if Boston was like NO LET'S PARTY. Ray & Sand both should have said nah and went to get that dick.

Anyway. I have no speculation cause that's not really my thing. But I love this show. I would die for this show. I would ride into battle for this show. This is a show I could follow. This is a show I could call king.

[gregmarriage]

whenever i think about tomgreg going officially canon, i literally have to sit down for a minute

[professorsta]

I'll be disappointed if this is satirical

[hershelwidget]

whatever. go my freaks

I turned them all human and I’m going to put them in Ace Attorney. They are the only barrier between me and another Narumitsu Shrine please play nice with them

[kennyomegasweave]

@chaos0pikachu

If being promiscuous is why they hate him, I don't get why they don't hate Top too. Both of them have been noted and confirmed hoes. And while Top hasn't fucked anyone except Boston and Mew, kinda, on camera, Boston's only fucked Drake, Top, and Nick (who he's in a situationship with) on camera. So like, I don't buy that. Lowkey, though this might hurt feelings, the only reason I think Boston is fully hated, even though Top and Nick have been worse, is because he was mean about Ray and we know how the fandom feels about Khaotung.

Because Boston hasn't done anything except be a terrible friend. He hasn't even lied to Nick! Nick's out here going full crazy train (though I think that was hinted in his and Boston's first meeting) and he's getting all kinds of "he's a sweet boy just liking an asshole" even though he's been, objectively, the biggest red flag, even more than Top and his polos. Like even Mew has acknowledged Top's problems, though he thinks he can change them. And when Sand tried to warn Nick about Boston because he's a hoe Nick has been a whole ass mess. He took a customer's phone, jerked off to his private photos, put his own nude on the phone, fucked by the screen protectors in his dad's business, bugged his friend with benefit's car to catch him fucking (despite the fact that that friend has never even once hinted at being monogamous), played the audio for his roommate like that was normal, copied his friend with benefit's phone (who again, has never once even hinted at being monogamous, let alone a boyfriend), threatened some guy to leave his not boyfriend alone. Like. Please, tell me again how Boston is the worst person here. How he's the predator manipulator. Like. I don't see it. He's just a hella bad friend. And a lot of people at 22 are that so I mean...

Everyone's always like "sluts are great, we love whores, we support all ho's in this house" but when I, Boston

[t1red-twilight]

play nice

content/warnings: gn!reader, fluff, protective!dean, relationship gets established, cursing, gratuitous smooching because i like it

summary: you have to interrogate someone for a case, but he gets a little too comfortable.

word count: 2k

masterlist d. w. masterlist

a few mysterious deaths urged the three of you to southern california. what had started as a feeble attempt at relaxing had ended in scouring small-town news for something interesting. none of you could handle sitting still for an extended period of time without going batshit insane, so dean found a case that was definitely easy mode.

presently, sam was back at the motel doing some research (typical), and you and dean were approaching a diner to interrogate a victim’s friend. the air was brisk, and your tacky suit did little to warm you.

the diner was basically a carbon copy of the approximate 50 thousand diners you had eaten at within the years you had known the winchesters. “so, wait, who is this guy again?” you asked dean. this had all been explained to you earlier, but you couldn’t recall any information.

the two of you paused outside the diner entrance. “aaron williams. he’s the most recent victim’s roommate. he wasn’t at the scene yesterday when we looked around.” you straightened your suit coat. ah, now you remembered. he was some idiot former-frat-boy drop out, sam had said.

you nodded affirmatively. you reached forward and tried to push the door open, only to be met with resistance. hearing dean snicker behind you, you quickly pulled open the door and allowed him to enter before you. “its a pull door, dumbass,” he teased.

you kicked his shoe, trying to alert him that you had an image to uphold. “i figured that out, genius,” you whispered. an employee approached you, clad in a stained fifties-esque uniform. they were clearly on the younger side.

“hello. i’m special agent nicks, and this is special agent buckingham. we need to speak to aaron williams?” as you introduced yourself, you reached into your breast pocket and fished out the faux id, and dean mirrored you. there was a pause. “about the death of luke johnson?” you continued.

a look of realization dawned on the employee’s face, and they turned to look over their shoulder before turning back to face you. “oh, okay. uh, let me go get him.” they scampered away quickly. you snorted, but tried to cover it with a cough. teenagers.

the man that approached you was tall. about sam’s height, maybe an inch or two shorter. his was thick, curly brown hair on his head, and thick stern eyebrows. you immediately were drawn to him, you were sure that anyone would be.

out of the corner of your eye, you could see dean turn and look at you, disbelief spread across his face. red, hot embarrassment spread out over your face. your lips pulled into a thin line, and dean scoffed and rolled his eyes. “you needed to talk to me?” aaron asked, now in front of you.

dean inched forward slightly, his already gruff voice dropping in tone. “yes. we should probably sit.” you both flashed your badges again. dean tilted his head on either side, popping his neck. before he sat, he pulled out your chair. aaron did not follow, and dean gestured, somewhat aggressively, for him to sit.

aaron proceeded to lounge back in the diner chair. his long legs were spread out underneath the table, feet almost touching yours. “so, we understand that you were luke’s roommate?” you prodded.

aaron looked away, and nodded. at your stern gaze, he responded verbally. “yes. found the body.” his face was aloof and devoid of any emotion, positive or negative.

dean leaned forward, torso pressing into the table. his loosened his clenched jaw to speak. “yes. that’s why we’re here,” he spoke, annoyed. you tapped his thigh in an effort to get him to chill the hell out.

“sorry, aaron,” you apologized. “agent buckingham and i are just a little behind schedule today. had luke been erratic or weird the days before you found him?”

aaron sat up a little straighter. “i mean, kind of. he was just a weird dude in general.” he was clearly acting too nonchalant for dean.

dean scoffed, and you swatted his leg again. “weird how?” dean pressed. aaron shrugged. a stiff silence followed, and dean tried (albeit poorly) to hide how irritated he was getting. “well if you’re not-“ he started, his volume raising. any semblance of attraction you had to aaron was quickly diluted by his idiocracy. he was either dumb, enjoyed wasting people’s time, or both. great. this was going to go just great.

you cut him off, “did any of his habits change, did he talk about or do things he usually didn’t?” you couldn’t risk dean making a scene, and more importantly, you really needed to find out something from aaron.

aaron sighed deeply. “i don’t know. i’ve been kinda,” he paused, “busy.” he punctuated his sentence by raising both his eyebrows. you understood the innuendo he was trying to get at.

aaron leaned forward, placed his elbows on the table, and licked his lips.

desperately fighting off a sneer, you kept your voice as monotonous as possible. “how did you find the body?”

aaron looked around playfully. “it was in the living room. saw him when i walked in.” dean scoffed, and aaron continued. “he was bloody. i don’t know, i called the police.” you could practically feel dean’s eyes roll.

you flicked your eyes over to dean, to get his attention and signal him that you were ready to leave. there was no way in hell that you were going to get information out of this douchebag, none that would be beneficial anyway.

aaron spoke up and broke you out of your thoughts. “you know, you’re too much of a looker to be fbi,” his tone was flavored with something you didn’t like. clearly, dean didn’t either with the curses he began muttering under his breath.

“excuse me?” you paused to give him a chance to take back what he said, but instead he just doubled down.

aaron leaned forward on his forearms even further, “i think that we could have some fun together, if you just left your-“

all in one motion, dean’s arm shot around your waist and pulled you into his side and stood up forcefully. thus, you stood up with him; it wasn’t as if he was giving you any option to act unaccordingly. oddly enough, you sighed and felt some tension dissipate from your shoulders. “alright, that’s enough. thank you for all of your bullshit and for not being of any help whatsoever,” dean was almost yelling. with a grandiose movement, dean’s hands were suddenly on your face.

quickly you felt him pull you closer. your hands gripped his wrists but had no intention on pushing him away from you. you knew what was about to happen: you had done it many times before, but dean had never been so forward in private, let alone in public.

dean slotted his lips against yours in a kiss that was more teeth than anything. as you felt him exhale against your face, you bit his bottom lip and pulled away from his face. his head tilted almost imperceptibly to the right, and he kissed you once more with a small pecking motion. his lips were chapped and in need of some vaseline or something, but you didn’t mind. shit, you were still in public. so much for not letting dean make a scene.

“have a good day, dick,” he tagged on sarcastically. you hadn’t seen, but dean had flipped aaron off.

his hand slipped from your face and down to your own hand. turning, he pulled you towards the door. when you both had gotten several steps away from the dingy diner, you stopped him.

“hey, are you okay? what was that?” the green in his eyes swirled with something. anger, you figured.

dean pulled his hand away from yours, and waved them around as he spoke. “he shouldn’t fuckin’ talk to you like that. it’s, you’re better than- fuck, i-“ he stopped when you snorted. “what?”

you grabbed his intelaced your fingers once more. “it’s just,” you swallowed down your laughter. “you should really learn to play nice, you know.” you took his other hand in yours. the chill in the air was no longer an issue with how close the two of you were standing.

dean looked away for a moment before down back into your eyes. “well he shouldn’t have messed with someone who carries a gun,” dean gestured toward the gun in his waistband.

you chuckled again. while he might have been joking, he still had a stern expression on his face. “i also carry a gun,” you teased him, one eyebrow quirked upwards.

the seriousness melted off his face. dean readjusted his footing, and his posture loosened. “i’m more inclined to use mine on dimwits than you are.” there was a smile in his tone now.

you let go of one of his hands and used his neck as leverage to pull his lips closer to yours. you kissed him shortly before speaking again. “thank you, dean. for always sticking up for me, i mean.” you thumb traced circles on the part of his neck where his skin met his hair.

his face turned away while he responded, “i know you can handle yourself, i’ve seen it, i just-“ you turned his face back to yours.

“you’re perfectly fine,” you tried to sound as assuring as possible.

really, you were flattered. and you of course knew that dean knew that you could handle yourself. you wouldn’t have lasted this long if you couldn’t. “i’ve been flirted with before, what set you off this time?” you questioned. in the past this had never been an issue. in fact, you had flirted with- and even kissed- random people to get information before. what had changed from then until now?

“i don’t know, i-“ his adam’s apple bobbed, and motioned for him to continue. “okay, maybe i like you.” your eyebrows shot up, almost into your hairline. his face held a vulnerable expression. dean’s mouth was barely agape, and his eyebrows were slightly knit together.

your shock quickly morphed into adoration. a grin stretched across your face. “like me?”

his relief was evident. “you know what i mean,” if your eyes had been closed you would’ve still sensed his smile. you had known for a while. sam had mentioned things offhandedly, and it helped that you knew dean like you knew the back of your hand. it wasn’t long before you sensed something in your dynamic change. perhaps you just figured your feelings would never boil over and that everything would return to how they had previously been. you had never been so glad to be so wrong in your life.

you quirked your head to the right coyly. “i don’t know. do i?” a faux expression of confusion sat on your features.

“fuck. fine. do you maybe want to…” dean trailed off, his voice lowering.

your hand rose to cup your ear, “what? i can’t hear you?” cruel as you were, you wanted to hear him say it.

dean swallowed his pride and admitted it. “can we be official? uh, please?” he was looking down at your shoes, and a red glow bloomed on his cheeks. you tilted his chin up and kissed the corner of his mouth.

“only because you asked so nicely.” as soon as you finished speaking dean was kissing you again. only this time, it was a different type of passion. dean kissed you with a silent fervor that craved more of as the seconds passed. his tongue swiped your upper lip, and so you parted them.

your hand trailed into his hair as dean’s cradled the small of your back. his hands were so large, and you were truly appreciative of that fact presently.

when you and dean separated a string of saliva connected your mouths. he spoke, his voice merely a whisper. “maybe we should get back to sammy,” he spoke through red, kiss-bruised lips.

you smiled. “that’s probably a good idea.”

[lululandd]

rabid; (i.)

pairing: platonic simon ‘ghost’ riley x gn!reader

word count: 956

warnings: comedy, aftermath of torture, mild gore

note: heheh >:3 (also on ao3)

summary:

ghost has a love-hate relationship with his neighbour of six years. on one hand they’re quiet enough, nice enough, considerate enough and never once had bothered him in any way, but on the other hand he is a highly trained soldier with highly trained senses and the things he hears travelling through his walls are batshit insane.

part i. | part ii. | part iii. | part iv.

He guesses they are an entertainer or a comedian or some sort because on rare occasions, they��whether he wanted to or not—made him laugh. The absurdity of the questions and things that came out of their mouth really makes him feel like he has a glimpse of what a worry free civilian life could be.

On one particularly rowdy night he heard the one sided conversation about anal, which rapidly escalated to how peoples arseholes can stretch up to seven inches in diameter and therefore, theoretically could fit two smaller raccoons.

He listened in fascinated horror how that thought came into their mind, how they associated arseholes with raccoons, and why in christ fuck did they sound so cheerful about it. Maybe he’s just a battle hardened, workaholic soldier that has only seen carnage and suffering, but even if such a thought came to his mind, it would not be classified as a happy thought and he would not laugh about it.

Until eight months later where he’s interrogating an American that he really wants to just straight up murder and remembers his neighbour.

He opens the door that leads to the rest of the warehouse and calls out to his men, “I need two raccoons. Small but not pups.”

He was met with silence and a confused looks, but he saw Gaz and Soap get on it and round up several soldiers.

“Alive!” He barked at them.

—

Soap looked worriedly at Gaz, “What do you think he’s gonna do with live raccoons?”

The other man shrugged, “You think he’s gonna threaten him with rabies?” Gaz gnashed his teeth together, “Let them bite him or something?”

One of the Lance Corporals behind them chimed, “I kinda wanna see.”

In came a chime of ‘yeah’s from the other men.

—

Ghost had made sure the American in question heard his request of the live raccoons before taking a seat on the table holding all his tools and lighting up a cigarette.

He looked at the man’s surroundings, the litter of teeth and nails on the floor, three parts of his severed ring finger, and the blood splatters on the makeshift plastic floor. The cleanup crew’s gonna at least be a little happy about that.

“You like raccoons, mate?” He offers, lighting what seemed to be his third cigarette.

The question caught him off guard. “What?”

“Raccoons. Trash pandas. Those chubby lil wankers with grubby hands.” He curled his palms and did mock scratching motions.

“You’re crazy.” He spat.

“I am.” For even thinking of trying this over his neighbour’s demented jokes.

Fourty five minutes later Gaz came knocking on his door.

“Got your furry friends, boss.” He gestures at a cage sitting by the door. The animals seemed calm, they couldn’t have just nicked it from some random bins and throw them in there.

“Cheers, Gaz.” He saw the man linger. “Anything else?”

“Can we observe, Sir?”

“No.” came his quick answer. If he really has to do what he thinks he’s gonna do, he’d rather his men not see it. They’ve seen so much in their line of work already, he doesn’t want to add to their nightmares.

Imagining one of them having PTSD from seeing a harmless animal makes him feel guilty.

He took the cage from Gaz’s hands and placed it nicely on the floor, a little way away from the American’s feet.

“You know that saying?” He puts on his best southern accent, mimicking Graves. “What crawled up your butt and died?”

The man’s eyes widened and he tried so hard to shift further into his seat, trying to create as much distance between them as possible. Ghost lets the moment go on for a little longer. It makes all the difference, really; whether you rush into the torture or letting them sit and wonder about the choices they think they have.

“I heard somewhere that your arse can stretch up to seven inches in diameter.” He pointed at the raccoons, “The normal sized bastards can fit into a four inch hole. But I’m being nice today and gonna give these smaller ones some wiggle room.”

He can’t help but crouch closer to the cage and coo at them as the man starts yelling for help.

“So.” He said in a calm voice, listing his head slowly when the man had stopped screaming his throat dry. “Since I’m a very nice man today I’m gonna give you two options.”

Fat rolls of tears had started to run down the man’s cheeks, his chest heaving as he begged for mercy.

“Do you want me to sedate these raccoons so they don’t claw your insides or do you wanna..” He remembers a word that floated into his flat one night, “..rawdog it?”

—

Soap had never seen a cleaner interrogation room before. Not from Ghost, the man’s usually so brutal about it. He remembers seeing parts of a live brain one time because Ghost had bashed their skull so badly and remembered having to shoot the person dead out of pity. But today? The intel was good, the man was still alive with almost all of his body parts; save for some of his teeth and nails and the chopped up finger,

and the raccoons.

They were alive and Ghost seemed to never have opened the cage at all.

—

When Ghost came home that month he heard his neighbour say something about a ‘little birthday celebration’ for tomorrow. He checked his watch and decided to walk to the bakery and get them some cake. That last operation went smoothly, and he has them to thank.

He can’t wait to hear what other mental things that will come out of their mouth in the future and apply them to his work.

[justarandombrit]

Okay, so in case anyone couldn't make it to the livestream (and just because I wanted to), I wrote down some notes while watching it, so if anyone wants to read them, they're below the cut. (Also sorry ANI fans, my dad came in to borrow a pencil while the ANI segment was happening, so I missed a lot of it)

. There was a 4 minute long intro voice over before AVPM

. James watched AVPM

. 600,000 and Lauren plays the green screen piano

. 700,000 and Lauren does an architectural digest on the green screen house

. Jon really loves Ready To Go

. Darren keeps letting Joey know he sounds like shit on old recordings

. Pinball Pete’s burnt down 🙏🙏

. MAMD was the first student produced album to make the charts

. A Very Potter Sequel’s name came before A Very Potter Musical

. They accidentally wrote Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

. James gave Julia Albain leg splints

. During Starship the entire cast was breathing fibreglass

. Starship was called “knowingly amateurish”

. Darren was supposed to write 15 songs for Starship, but he got cast on GLEE

. Darren flew in to join a rehearsal as a surprise, ran in singing Beauty and everyone was so pissed

. Everyone still loves Kick It Up A Notch

. Nick: “Which was Holy Musical B@man-

Lauren: “Fuck yeah”

. They made up Sweet Tooth, and then found out he was an actual Batman villain

. Matt came up with “Calendar Man, your days are numbered” in his dream, and it was so good it forced him awake to instantly call Nick

. Everyone thought the flying machine joke was the best AVPM joke

. Goin' Back To Hogwarts Reprise made everyone cry

. AVPSY was five hours long

. Curt saw AVPSY

. Darren arrived 2 hours before the show and didn't get a chance to read through a lot of the script

. Darren came up with “I hope you find that swimming pool”

. Joey ate one banana on the day of AVPSY and during Sidekick went “I'm losing my vision”

. They had to pay the hotel union $11,000 to use THEIR OWN microphones, and Darren's STILL BROKE

. Jeff accidentally washed out his Aladdin hair dye

. A.J. Holmes had the same agent as Jafar's original VA, and they got him to do the intro and say “pee” and “poop” in Jafar's voice

. ANI was, as we know, expected to be a hit, and, as we know, it was not

. TTO was, as we know, expected to fail, and, as we know, did not

. TTO had a batshit cast party

. Pierce used to ask Matt insanely complicated questions before bed, e.g, “How did WWII happen?”

. Firebringer was a really old concept

. Literally no one questioned why the “I don't really wanna do the work today” clip had loads of people dressed as cavewomen + cavemen

. Firebringer was the first show Jon saw live

. They made up all the Hatchetfield shows at the same time

. Nick kept making sure Paul was having fun

. The song from the Pirate Show, “Born To Be Wretched goes so fucking hard. Like if a sea shanty was a musical theatre song essentially

. Mariah: “Rich gays, please give”

. Lauren choreographed Show Stoppin' Number

. People actually gave Lauren their phones when she asked in Inevitable, and they would take them backstage and take selfies before giving them back. One time it was locked and she shouted “WHAT'S THE PASSCODE?!?!?”

. Joey: “I'm in the middle of Wiggle”

. Everyone was ill during Black Friday

. Bryce saw Black Friday

. BRYCE GOT THE APPLE

. Nick told her “Interesting things happen here” when showing her to the seat

. Ahhh when Jeff played Tom…

. Angela was in Jaime’s improv class

. Angela is no longer on vocal rest

. Angela had to kill Sherman with a finger gun one night

. Will was 100% ready for NPMD

. Will was at a party they went to during A Very Starkid Reunion

. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR STARKID

. Rip Kim

. The Docks of Troutspear is sung by Matt’s favourite character (it also slaps)

. The Pit Stop in Hatchetfield livestream is going to be a tag team deathmatch

. I love Starkid so much

[dead-loch]

do you think megan mullally and nick offerman drive to work in the mornings when they’re working together and portraying some of the weirdest and most batshit insane but really compelling characters and just giggle about how good it is to not only live your dream but consistently be hired alongside someone you love and love working with? asking for a friend who isn’t jealous at all

[raccoonbatz]

What happens in Paris // Tao Xu x F!Reader [ PART 1 ]

A/N: Welcome to my first non- oneshot! I just finished heartstopper season 2 and my unhealthy obsession with Tao came back and I became inspired by writing for this man, so much that I decides to make a multiple parts story this time! :) Keep in mind that english isn't my first language so sorry if some things are written wrong.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Summary: Your typical enemies to lovers w/ kinda slowburn story!

Important: Elle and Tao are just best friends in this story. As much as I ship these two I just had to write this with y/n :) oh and it takes place in season 2, after the exams.

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Soo, you're excited for Paris?" Nick asked while softly bumping your shoulder as you walk towards the party.

"Yea! Very excited to be with my best friends in a country I've never been to." You said excited.

"Reminder, I am not your best friend." Someone said behind you. You turned your head and met with Tao's eyes.

"I didn't actually include you." You said and he scoffed. You rolled your eyes and turned back to Nick who chuckled a bit.

"I don't really get why you guys don't just get along-" Charlie said.

"Because she is annoying-" Tao said but you quickly interrupted him.

"Says the one who always has to intervene." You said.

"I don't do that-" He said.

"You literaly just did-" You said confused.

"Yea, you kinda do-" Elle added and he scoffed.

"Now she's turning you too?" He said playfully to Elle and she chuckled.

"Not turning, just stating facts." She says and you chuckled. Tao playfully rolled his eyes

You guys arrived at the woods party, where everyone was already dancing, drinking and partying. Elle waved to some of her new friends and walked towards them. Isaac was getting a drink with James and Nick and Charlie were heading somewhere deeper in the woods together which left u with Darcy, Tara and Tao.

"Let's get something to drink" Darcy said and u nodded.

"I swear Darcy if u get too drunk again-" Tara said and u chuckled.

"What are you talking about-" Darcy said and Tao snickered.

"That's what we're talking about, you don't even remember." Tao said

"Yea I mean, we love to babysit you the whole night don't get us wrong but-" You said but Tao interupted you

"Did you just agree with me?" He said with a smirk on his face.

"Tao, I swear if u don't get that stupid smirk off your face-" You said trying to intimidate him which was quite hard since he was alot taller than you.

"Then what?" He said, still smirking. Darcy and Tara looked at each other and sneaky blended with the crowd to get away.

"Then you'll-" You said but took a quick look around to see that you guys were abandoned. Tao looked around and realized the same.

"Those fuckers-" You said and Tao chuckled.

"They don't wanna be seen with you either." He said and you rolled your eyes.

"Then what are you still doing here hmm?" You said and crossed your arms.

"That is-" He says and paused for a bit. "A really good question" He added and thought for a bit.

"Goodbye!" He says and started to walk away. You sighed and turned around, walking in the direction you thought Darcy and Tara went in.

You walked towards the place where you could get a drink and grabbed a red cup and poured something to drink in it. U took a sip and quickly realized it wasn’t just soda.

“Ah, there you are!” You heard behind you and turned around.

“Ah, hey Tara!” You smiled but your smile quickly faded away remembering that they left you.

“Why in gods name did u guys leave me with that asshole?” You asked and they chuckled

“We know you like him-“ Darcy said and u spit out your sip that you were taking

“You guys are batshit crazy-“ You said and chuckled.

“Everyone knows” Tara added and u laughed

“The fact that u guys can’t feel the tension is insane!” Darcy said and you rolled your eyes.

“I don’t know which tension you’re talking about. The only tension I feel when talking to him is an angry one.” You said and took a big sip of your cup.

Darcy and Tara gave each-other a look while you looked at them confused.

“Is there something I don’t know?” You asked and they snickered.

“No- no no nothing to worry about-“ Tara said and u sighed.

“Nevermind then- Where is everyone?” You asked

“We have no clue-“ Darcy said.

The party went on for a bit. Charlie and Nick went home early because Nick wasn’t feeling well. Darcy and Tara also already left and Elle and Isaac were nowhere to be found. When you grabbed your headphones to listen so some music for the long walk home, u felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Ur still here?” Tao asked confused.

“Yea, I was about to walk home.” You said and wanted to turn around, but Tao stopped you again.

“You’re walking alone? Now?” He said and looked genuinely confused.

“Uh, yeah? Do you see anybody else with me right now?” You said and chuckled. Tao stood still for a second.

Then he hesitated for a second to say something.

“Spit it out dude.” You said.

“I know we don’t get along, but I also don’t want you to walk alone to your house.” He said and looked.. concerned?

“Uh-“ You were taken a bit back. He never said something nice to you.

“You want to walk me home?” You said confused.

“No- I don’t want to-“ He says and pauses for a bit. “But I would probably get killed by the rest if they knew I let you walk alone.” He added and chuckled a bit.

“Fair.” You said and softly smiled.

“Fine, we can walk together but-“ You said and paused

“But what?” He asked

“I want to listen to my music tho.” You said as you placed your headphones on your head.

“Perfect for me!” He says and takes out his earbuds and places them into his ears.

As you guys were walking home you caught yourself looking at Tao sometimes.

You never really noticed how cute he is.

[shit-taster-connoisseur]

"1) Hello! Introduce yourself if you'd like. How did you discover Making Fiends?

I'm hazzz, or ya can call me by my tumblr user, which ever is fine. I discovered making fiends like, in a vivid memory from when I was a kid(i think??) and ultimately rediscovered it from a Danganronpa fangamae zmsb

2) Who is your favorite main character? (Charlotte, Vendetta, or Grudge.)

Idk it's gonna be sooo hard to guess

3) Who is your favorite minor character?

The gal herself, she deserved so much better

Also hear me out on Mardetta, in this essay-

4) How about your favorite episode?

This episode, if only because Charlotte goes batshit insane and her song went harddddd. Also, maybe if the web ep where Charlotte dressed as vendetta had a tv adaptation, then that'd be second possibly. If only they kept the line "Well in that case. I was going to play in traffic and drink bleach"

5) Favorite fiend?

I could forgive nick canceling making fiends, ONLY if they had let rubella's arc finish up please!@ on my knees need more content of her

6) I want to see your favorite character in funny clothes.

A summary on her entire character

7) Favorite palring? (If this makes you uncomfortable, how about a happy Vendetta?)

Gays

Also, a very close 2nd is Marion/Vendetta, and possibly Maggie/mort, i have visions of them

8) Have you got an original character? How about making one up, or you in the Making Fiends universe? What kind of fiend would they make (or be afraid of)?

Havent bothered drawing my oc, but from a friend's human fiend au, i got somewhat inspired to draw my fankid of venchar.

Dont have a design or even name of their kid, besides them being a product of fiend mix and Charlotte getting hers and vendetta's dna in the mixture. As a result, two 20-yr-olds are stuck with a child that cannot decide on what kind of form they want, and just being generally unstable.

Please ask me abt them, im shaking/j

9) Tag someone! Alternatively or additionally, make up your own question and answer.

This up in the air for anyone who wants to do this, and for a question uhhh, do you prefer the web episodes or the tv episodes??

[raayllum]

Callum punching this thing square in the maw is even more insane when you consider he knew that if it even slightly nicked him or backfired, he'd corrupted accordingly (as he reminds the group just seconds before the fight starts). But he was just that batshit lightning fist insane / protective he barrelled in anyway.

I do also love that Callum and Rayla ultimately take down the banthers together (while Amaya uses Janai's sword to keep herself face, fighting together in spirit). While Rayla's "stronger together" during the fight is towards Amaya, the one she exhibits it with is Callum accordingly.

+ Bonus banther blood / as far as I can remember, Rayla only visibly drawing blood on screen (this and taking off Claudia's leg) with Runaan's weapon, not her own butterfly blades

And bonus bonus Callum signing, because he's adorable

[thenerdofthegroup]

And if I said Agatha fits ‘the family jewels’ album by marina and the diamonds perfectly?!?!? Then what

Are you satisfied- obvious. Always wanting more. Wanting to be the best. Be perfect. Seen as a freak by others due to wanting control

Shampain- Agatha is a metaphor for addiction. This song is all about the terrible side of drinking and addiction. Perfect again

I am not a robot- one of my personal favs (I know I’m autistic don’t). But this perfectly goes with a few scenes where Agatha… she isn’t the same as others. It’s very clear that even in moments of vunerability she can’t switch of that survival. That non human emotion does not come naturally but she does try. The campfire scene where she awkwardly chuckles, still one of the best scenes ever imo, proves this. She is an outside to everyone. Women, witches etc she is outside. Like a ‘robot’ looking in

Girls- right now. Agatha is not a good person. She mocks women. She uses their insecurities and their trauma against them to get what she wants. This whole song is about mocking other women and the societal expectations on them. Agatha doesn’t give a shit. And she will mock anyone that does. If someone thinks she’s ugly, dead. Someone thinks she’s fat, torture. They don’t matter so seeing others feel it is another digging point for her to get under others skins. I know what I’m trying to say but I don’t think it’s working… let’s just say we all know what I’m trying to say

Mowgli’s road- indecision. At every point she could choose to connect and to finally trust others again or keep down the path of ‘survival’. It’s also a very childish and ‘Disney like’ song, which you could link to her childhood. At 18 she had to decide whether she could keep taking abuse or finally kill. Which path to take each time…

Obsessions- the much darker side to her. I personally feel she has a few… mental quirks and this song is about depression, anxiety, ptsd and ocd. I think a lot of what she has been through and exhibits in the show can be linked to these or other mental disorders. But under the charm and bubbles there is a deeply broken person who never wants to feel it. Rio is right. She is a coward. And she runs away from those feelings. Obsessed with perfection and power to escape them

Hollywood- this song is about idolising people. I think this can be applied to both power and her always reaching for it OR about people like Wanda, Billy and Rio. She can never reach their levels of power but she wants it. She needs it. She wants to be them, wants to have that control. She doesn’t idolise them personally say but she wants to claw her way to that pedestal of power

The outsider- I mean… this is obvious. She is THE outsider. She doesn’t fit with witches, humans, gods etc. she is outside of it all. The campfire proved it to me. The Nick flashbacks made it obvious. Always alone, always the outsider. Note my favourite line is how she screams ‘I’m a fucking wildcard’ and Agatha would scream that too. So yes this song to me is one of the closest related

Hermit the frog- her going absolutely batshit insane. But on a more serious note it’s about her becoming worse and worse and spiralling in a terrible relationship. Now, some people argue Rio was this for her, and maybe you’re right. But I don’t see it that way. Agatha was going to kill. They are evil mistresses together. There are nuances to it that I do agree with but this isn’t about that. This is about the darkhold. She moved from one relationship (her and Nicky) and sunk into the darkhold out of pure grief and was abused by it and her mind became worse. That’s at least what I headcanon. That her mental health got dreadful. But it was a toxic pull. She knew it was bad for her but she couldn’t stand the pain and dealing with it alone without a buffer anymore (again guessing because the show with fake title of DARKHOLD DIARIES DIDNT SHOW HER AND THE FUCKING DARKHOLD) *cough cough* anyway. Nick could also be her ‘glass balloon’

Oh no- terror of failing. That’s obvious. This whole song like satisfied screams her. Because she’s a perfectionist. She cannot fail. Failure is the worst thing for her. This song just screams Agatha to me. “Because I feel like I’m the worst so I always act like I’m the best”

Rootless- disconnected from everything. It’s about relocating and that’s what she does. She has no ties to a place, people, anything. She has nothing to connect with (apart from Rio). She is isolated from everything because she has nothing to connect to.

Numb- and if I said Agatha is depressed and masks it with about 1000 masks… but really this whole song is about being numb to everything. And that’s what she is. She feels nothing to death (the action… have to specify now), numb to pain, numb to a lot. Or at least pretends to be mostly. But I think she is numb to a lot due to all the pain she has been through and this song definitely encapsulates that

Guilty- this songs about killing a dog… soooo. Just kidding it’s about family issues. Perfect. To single out one line perfectly “I was just a kid and all I really wanted was my father” swap out father with mother and boom, sad Agatha childhood

Family Jewels- Agatha to a tea. “Ooh, don't you find it strange? Only thing we share is one last name. Did I beat you at your own game? Typical of me to put us all to shame” I can even imagine teenage Agatha screaming this at her mum. Abusive parent who hates her and pushes her away? Tick. The child taking and having to live with the shame of being the stain in the family name? Tick.

God I could write essays about this, most will wood songs and so many other songs that relate to her. My god…

She is just perfect

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Here is a photo of ghost Agatha doing laundry for listening

[chitty-chitty-bang-bang-bang]

“Memento Mori” (Nick x vampire!reader)

Word Count: 1,388

Age Restrictions: 16+ (vulgar language)

Trigger Warnings/Tags: Brief descriptions of blood (not detailed), fuff, crack, implied romance, during the events of the movie

Synopsis: Since nobody wanted to help Nick with his vampiric transition you took it upon yourself to help him through these difficult times and make it a little easier.

Author’s Note: I feel like my aro/ace-ness really shows in the awkward way I’m trying to write romance lmao. Really loved writing this. More love for Nick!

__________________________________________

“Knock, knock, knock!” You said in a sing-song-ish voice, as you banged on the door of Nick’s apartment. He lived in some rundown apartment building with a half-dead concierge and ugly wallpaper in the hallway, that was peeling off the cement walls. It took a bit of time, but the door finally swung open. “Yahoo! Oh-… Oh, Nick… You don’t look very well.” You scrunched your nose at the sight of him.

“Yeah, I know.” He said, his voice trembling as violently as his body. His face was pale and had red tear tracks left on the cheeks. “What the fuck did you do to me?”

You ignored his question and looked behind his back. The camera crew was there. Poor guy, going through so much stress and under the constant attention of the documentary makers. This wasn’t ideal at all.

“Invite me in, please.” You asked nicely.

“Why would I? You’re gonna eat me.” He crossed his arms.

“No, I won’t.”

“Bullshit.”

“Listen, Nick, you’re going through a lot now and I am here solely to help you. Now please, let me in and we can have a conversation in private.” You glared at the cameras behind his back. He didn’t seem to be convinced. “Look, I even brought some presents with me.” You showed him a plastic bag that you had with you.

“Okay, fine. Please, come in.” He said reluctantly and stepped away to make way for you.

You finally stepped into the house, put the bag on the counter in his kitchen and went straight to the camera crew.

“Okay, guys, shoo! Shoo shoo! We have a very private conversation here! Go on, tiptoe out of here, please and thank you!” You babbled, while actively pushing them towards the door. They knew better than to fight with a vampire, so they did the reasonable thing and complied, leaving Nick to your advices. “Great, now that we’re alone, we can finally have this talk. Sit down, please.”

Nick sat down on his bed, you took a stool and sat in front of him. “This feels really weird.” He mumbled.

“So, Nick, your body is changing right now and very drastically, I might say. This change… it’s rather normal actually.” The way this conversation resembled the birds and bees talk his parents gave him when he was a teen made Nick even less comfortable. “Factually, you are dying.” You smiled.

“Wait… what?” His shaking ensued.

“Don’t worry. It’s okay. I mean, we all died. Me, Viago, Vladislav, Deacon, Petyr. It’s not pleasant, but, trust me, it’s the worst part. Once it’s over, the rest is way easier. You just gotta desensitise yourself to drinking blood and constant murdering of innocent civilians. Not that much, considering you seemed to already kill a bunch of innocent… creatures.” You glanced at a few rat corpses on the floor.

“I don’t remember how that happened. I was-… Whatever, doesn’t matter.” he followed your gaze. “So am I… becoming a vampire?”

“Bigno!” You smiled.

“You mean ‘bingo’?”

“Yeah, bingong! Anyways, Petyr made you into a vampire. But you didn’t quite finish your transformation. That’s why you’re still half alive and suffering from batshit insane hypothermia.” You went over to the greasy kitchen counter and he followed. “Give me a glass, please.”

Despite his confusion, he opened a cupboard and handed you a wine glass, just because it’s the closest thing he had to a goblet, which is more your scene. You opened a small Tupperware bottle you had and with you and poured the red liquid in the glass, then added in some weird silvery powder from a tiny ziplock bag.

“What is this?” He looked at the weird substance you were mixing.

“Just blood and iron supplements. You need to drink blood to finish your transformation and iron is there to make it extra strong. Also because the blood might’ve gone stale. It’s been in the fridge for some time now.” You handed him the glass, making sure nothing spilled.

“So… I just…” He made a motion, that imitated drinking and you nodded. “Holy shit… okay.”

He hesitantly brought the liquid to his lips and started to chug it down very quickly. Either because he liked it that much or because he wanted to forget that he’s currently drinking blood. He put the empty wine glass back on the counter and breathed in deep.

There was a second, where absolutely nothing was happening, then out of nowhere Nick started hissing in pain as his fangs grew out right before your eyes. He was quite literally climbing up the walls from the sheer agony of this rapid process in his body. He was clawing on the plaster of his ceiling, ripping out patches of it as they fell onto his dusty carpet.

“Hey, that’s fine, that you let out your inner feeling, but you might need that ceiling later, so maybe don’t do it!” You said loudly, so he could hear you through the beastly noises he made.

Finally, after a few seconds, the energy left Nick’s body and he limply fell off the ceiling and you caught him. He was dead. Not breathing, not responding, not even blinking. This lasted less than a minute obviously, before he opened his eyes once again.

“What the fuck?” Was the first thing he let out into the undead world.

“Happy vampiric transformation!” You smiled, trying to be as supportive as you could. Then gently put him down on the floor, as soon as you knew he could stand by himself. He went up to the mirror he had in the hallway, but couldn’t see a thing. “No, this won’t work, Nick. Vampires don’t have a mirror reflection.”

“Do we show in photos though?” He immediately asked.

“I mean, yeah, but it’s not like you have a camera around.” You checked your surroundings for a camera.

“I can just take a picture on my phone.” Nick shrugged.

Immediately a picture of a touch-tone telephone appeared in your mind. “How would that even work?”

Nick took out his smartphone and snapped a picture of himself, then came over to you, so you can both look at it. He zoomed in to examine his fangs for a second. Nick smiled and even barked out a quiet laugh.

“Hey, this looks cool. Nobody told me you automatically become hot, when you’re a vampire.” He kept analysing the picture.

“No, you just stop being self-conscious.” You chuckled. “You do look kind of hot though.”

He shot you a glance with a small smile, before putting his phone away and going back into his room, where you followed. He plopped down on the bed and patted the place beside him, suggesting you sit there and you did.

“So… Why did only you come?” Nick wondered.

“Well, others had their reasons.” You shrugged.

“Vladislav?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Deacon?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Viago?”

“Didn’t want to.”

“Petyr?”

“I was too scared to ask him if he wanted to.” You averted your gaze.

“So if nobody wanted to come, why did you?” Nick tilted his head curiously.

“I don’t know… Usually, you’re supposed to figure all of this out for yourself. I mean, nobody explained anything to us, when we were becoming vampires and that was the norm. You just turn someone and let them deal with it in whatever way they want to. But I just thought of how I was during my transition period and it really wasn’t great. I wished I had someone else to guide me, to tell me what’s going on, to help me get through it and… I thought, why subject anyone else to this kind of situation, when I can just help.” You smiled.

“You’re overly nice for a horrible creature of the night.” Nick seemed genuinely surprised.

“Hey, I’m dead, not heartless.” A chuckle escaped your lips, then switched to a sigh. “You still have a lot to learn. This lifestyle sucks ass and you’ll need quite a while to adjust to it. But I know you will.” You leaned your head on his shoulder.

“I know I will… so long as you’re here.” He said the last part quieter and let himself play with your hair a bit.

Funny how even in death you could find ways to feel more alive than ever…

[ghost-qwq]

Fallout HCs about video games cuz I'm absolutely batshit insane about these characters

(Fo3, NV and 4 but it's only characters I am crazy normal about)

Fo3 (Butch, Charon and RJ)

Butch

I'm being so honest with you, I think he'd LOVE rhythm games

He's a big music guy to me!!!

Rhythm games player,, he also would play the fuck out of multiplayer fps games

but Lone would have to make him stop because he gets really mad when he loses

He's fucking horrible at puzzle games also, he makes Lone solve puzzles for him but totally not because he needs help

He just uh... Thinks Lone is too dumb to figure it out... Yeah...

Charon

Okay I know I picked the characters but I'm so clueless for him

Maybe fps but idk

Actually this guy likes puzzle games

He watches Butch fail horribly and silently judges him

Puzzle games and like... Games with specific tasks you need to repeat

I'm thinking like Potion Craft and Sticky Business

bro would love cleaning games I think

PowerWash Sim and Viscera Cleanup Detail are his beloveds

RJ

This kid would play multiplayer fps games and absolutely kick ass too

He's the mean kid on mic telling you how shit you were...

He gets mad when he loses and quits

But not before saying that he's never playing that game again

... And then he's playing the same game the next day

He's such a little hater I think he'd say all kids games are for babies

He would LOVE to play them though :(

Would sooner kiss a Deathclaw than play a horror game though...

He'd act like he's not scared until he physically couldn't hide it anymore

FNV (Veronica, Arcade, Benny, Boone, Raul and Vulpes)

Veronica

Fps 100%

She's the one beating Butch all the time and she's having a blast doing it

Maybe also sorting games?

Ooh exploration games even

I barely traveled with Veronica but I feel like she would get really deep into the lore of whatever game she's playing

Unpacking fan I feel

I think she'd like ARGs too

She'd play slime rancher and throw tars into the sea as soon as she sees them

Arcade

He feels like a strategy game player

CIV player

Probably also likes cleaning/sorting games

I don't think he'd play video games very often... Sort of just a thing he does when there is NOTHING else to do

Probably would play Niche

Maybe Spore

I honestly have no clue with him beyond that

Benny

I'd like to start this by saying that he's comically bad at every game he plays

Other than gambling ones

He plays strategy games and loses every single time

He could not win a game to save his own life

Only games he's okay at are like... Ones it's hard to lose,,

And house flipper... He feels like a house flipper guy if he had to play

He also plays the Sims,, he loves that game so much

Boone

Really challenging myself here

I think he'd be good at fps but not really like them very much

Idk why but he feels like an rdr2 player to me a little

He also plays Plants Vs. Zombies because he's great

Idk he absolutely doesn't play games ever and when he does it's like,, card games

Boone is not the gamer of the group

Raul

Fuck oh God why did I put him on this list

Also a house flipper kind of guy but unlike Benny he's actually good at it

When he plays games it's to relax !!

He's playing fucking Stardew Valley and having a nice time

He plays Golf With Your Friends with the Courier...

Kinda feels like a Terraria player but he has actually no clue what he's doing,,

Plays Minecraft but only to build a house then turn the game off

If anyone tries to teach him a game he pulls the old man card

He will not play a game if he doesn't want too...

He's just "too old to figure it out"

Vulpes

Like Arcade he also plays CIV

But he's annoying about it somehow

Strategy and puzzle game player

No matter the game he acts like he's better than you for playing it somehow

Plays Terraria like Raul but he knows what he's doing and won't stop being a bitch about it

He acts like whoever he's playing with is stupid for not understanding whatever game they're playing

Fo4 (Nick, Deacon, Danse, Curie, Preston and MacCready again)

Nick

He's just like Raul tbh

When he plays a game it's to relax or with friends

He also plays Golf With Your Friends... Probably with Ellie and Sole

I think he'd like playing Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes...

Jackbox games too

He likes having fun with friends okay? :( let peepaw play a damn game

Probably would also like PowerWash Sim

Maybe even Slime Rancher

Deacon

I'm struggling more with what games he WOULDN'T play

He'd play multiplayer horror games with everyone and NOT do what he's supposed to

Not because he's uh... Scared or anything...

He's in the Railroad, obviously he likes Detroit: Become Human

Idk why but he feels like he would love OneShot

BattleBlock Theater kind of guy 100%

Like I said, I have no idea what he wouldn't play...

I think he'd play anything with his friends though

Kind of guy to find the absolute worst quality game to play and get it for everyone so they can all suffer together

Danse

Strategy games.

Or games with a very direct path

I think he'd be overwhelmed by open world games

Too much to do and not enough direction on where to go first

Survival games I think he'd like too

Hates horror games,, he would never admit it but he always gets jumpy

I honestly don't think he'd play anything other than strategy games without being pushed but shh.... If he were a gamer

Curie

Cleaning games or games that focus on science

HUGE Niche fan

She has no clue how to play a video game but she knows science!!

CIV player but she doesn't attack anyone unless they attack first... She just wants to make her cities and make everyone in them happy. That's literally it

Preston

I think he's in the same boat as Nick but he can't pull the old man card

He's just not a big fan of video games

But as long as he's playing with friends I think he'd have a good time

Probably would hate horror games too...

They're fun until it gets actually scary and then he doesn't want to play anymore

Honestly, I think he might like Don't Starve

Idk why... He'd play Wilson I think

Or Wendy

MacCready again

look he's older now

He still plays multiplayer fps games but he doesn't get as mad at them

He doesn't say as mean things anymore... And when he says it he says it to himself

I think Butch got him into rhythm games as a kid but he isn't good at them

100% would play video games with his kid.

He'd play like,, bugsnax when Duncan is older and lose his mind

I'm being so honest with you I think he's not good at any games that aren't fps...

EXCEPT. Stardew Valley. He would never in a million years admit it but he'd loved that fucking game.

[popculturebuffet]

TMNT Month: Mutant Turtles: Superman Legend The Weird Fun Turtles OVA that Didn't Loose It's Glasses (Comission for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy heroes in a halfshell and welcome to tmnt month, a celebration of the most radical heroes of all for their 40th. For those just joining, i'm jake I do reviews.. and I ended up having to cut part of this month off as I needed to take the rest of last week off after.. well you know. I was.. not in the best place.

So I wasn't in any shape to write.. not helping was a chaotic weekend turned into week where my sister is in the hosptial. It''s been a slow recovery, but i've gotten there: Migrating from twitter to bluesky has helped as I can just watch people say funny things and talk stuff without getting flavor blasted with a dickhead forcing his opinon on me becuase he owns the place. You can find me there here

That plus seeing Hugh Grant sing radio heads creep and Weird Al and Will Forte give a full throated performance of hot to go, not to mention a loving supportive family, have helped me move past this hard time.

And in these trying times... this is honestly the perfect thing to come back with. A truly bonkers piece of a franchise I dearly love that's fun to dunk on but still genuinely fun to watch. It's insane by TMNT standards which are pretty high. The series is usually running from a pretty batshit place even at it's most grounded. But legend of the supermutants is easily one of the weridest experiments in the franchises history.

It came about for the reasons most things did during the height of the tmnt's popularity in the late 80's and early 90s

This OVA came about because in Japan there was a line of super mutant toys, and soon after another line metal mutants so to promote them, these ovas were crafted by tv tokyo, done in a style similar to the 87 cartoon. Why they didn't make one for the bodacious birthday turtles I have no idea

I mean I want to see pennywise poppin mikey fight raph the magnificent while birthday guest leo watches. Donetello is presumibly dead in this timeline.

In Loving Memory of Shark Fistin Donetello

As for why there wasn't more that's simple: TMNT was petering out at this point , on the final season of the 87 cartoon so there probably wasn't a ton of profit to be had. Now why it hasn't been brought here SINCE is a mystery as it's the kind of curosity tmnt fans would love and a good chunk of the cast is still around to dub it, and by this point nick finally has the rights to the 87 cartoon in full. It could be issues with TV Tokyo we just don't know.

There was also a manga that wasn't offically translated here but you can find on archive.org. It's also bonkers in the conkers, featuring shrinking, creepy masks and fanservice for all

I couldn't review them in here as it was a bit much to try and cram into one review but I also felt i'd be remiss if you all didn't see splinter rocking that loin cloth. I mean come on april , he deseves to show off his toned ass as much as you do.

While you won't get butts with this ova you do get twin faries, Shredder wanting to eat krang , overused running gags, the ending of sonic adventure, the star of ninja gaiden, a fuckton of mirrors, sexy lizardman rocksteady, murder, a seemingly endless joke about glasses, trains, and krang's silky voice used as an instrument of torture. These two episodes are insane, wonderful and I can't wait to show them off under the cut.

The Great Crisis of the Super Turtles! The Turtle Saint Appears!

The Turtle Saint Appears opens with a recap for an episode that dosen't exist, explaning the new status quo for our heroes: So our heroes were summoned by Krys Mu, a magical fairy that guards the mutatstones, 4 powerful stones that can super mutate their user and allow the turtles to become buff more humanoid super charged versions of themselves and also they can fuse now. This power isn't just for good as Cris Mu's evil sister dark mu is contained in an evil mutastone of greed that Krang uses on shredder , bebop and rocksteady since he ain't got no body and he's sad and lonely. Our heroes won and now stand ready. Now you may be having some questions. Valid ones like "Why this wasn't it's own episode", "why is shredder in dope new armor"

, and "Why is rocksteady's form a sexy lizardman"

And rest assured you'll get.. one answer. Just the one. He's very lonely. Shredder's armor is explained in the manga: the turtles destroyed it during their last fight with him, and Krang made him a spiffy new set that also gives him super strength and stuff. Something the special COULD have brought up instead of cramming this all into two minutes but I digress. The rest.. is left pretty vauge and is a bit out of this neck of the franchises usual reliacne on aliens and stuff. This is straight up magic, which I've seen isn't ABSENT, btu they usually use a super science hand wave.

I"m not going to be too harsh on this insanity though for a simple reason: this special was made to sell toys. I grant the 87 cartoon and all turtles cartoons after it show you CAN make a good cartoon and still merchandise the crap out of it, but with just an episode a piece to make a backstory for these and presumibly not just wanting to have an origin story an episode, I get the episodes picking style over subtstance, going for a flashier end of the world plot instead of two origin stories in a row.

We then get our spiffy theme song. It's endearingly cute talking about how their fighting turtles, not ordinary turtles and having a nice peppy bit. it's not my faviorite japanese tmnt opening but it's a close second out of two

I mean you can't hear that and not get hype. You just can't. Fun Fact: this dub also seems to have been done by TVTOKYO.. and didn't quite do so good as the darker astetic didn't play well to fans of the original. Alas.

So onto the episode itself: the stars are going out and to no one's suprise it's that no good bastard Krang done did it. He's feeding the stars to dark mu to power her up. Shredder is less than impressed and his mood dosen't improve when he finds out krang's plan: to blow up the earth

Shredder's temper tantrum increases when he finds out Krang wants them to live in dimension x instead and we move to the next scene as he rants about Krang being an octopus and how he's going to eat them.

We transition from Shredder's poorly disguised fetish to NASA where a scientest up in space notes the stars are going out. Mission Control asks if he has his glasses on. This gag... bothers me. It bothers me on a level it shoudln't especially given what a week i've had, but it's just the same stupid "YOU WEARING YOUR GLASSES" gag repeated. The only varation is someone in his shuttle finding his glasses.. but those were his backups. They just keep hammering this stupid gag into my skull while I pray for Krang to hurry the hell up and win already so this stupid glasses guy can go with the rest of the earth.

April reports on this naturally and we cut back to the turtles, splinter.. and april as it was a pre recorded segment for a change, and they discuss what's going on trying to figure out what this means. Mikey suspects THE ALIENS... and I mean.. he gets shouted down.. but krang IS an alien. He's from another dimension, but he's a creature that can live outside his physical body as a living brain and comes from another planet. He qualifies. I mean Shredder isn't but the special weirdly refers to shredder and the foot clan like he's not the only human member of a team consisting of robot minions, two mutant dummies and a living brain he wants to vore.

Crys Mu chimes in and confirms it's her sister dark mu: she feeds on chaos, sisters am I rite?, and thus this whole business is getting her ready to emerge which would end the world.

She needs more energy though so Krang sends out the dumbass patrol to go cause a ruckuss. The Foot Soldiers aren't present as their on vacation. No really their on vacation and we see them later having a good time on a beach. It's amazing and I applaud the gag. A lot of the humor in this special dosen't quite hit, but that gag is genius. This is why you have unions, with the guild of calamitous intent even henchman get paid days off, mechanical men or not.

So with a crimewave high with muggings mysterious, the Turtles go to tussle with their foes. In a touch I love splinter.. sees this for what it is and gets involved: The turtles go to fight team chucklefuck, and splinter goes to face Krang himself, something I love as... it's not a fight I think we've ever really gotten.

This is down to Splinter's roll in the franchise: he's for the most part the tough but fair mentor. There's been deviations as always: his 2012 self is still tough on the boys a time but has a gentler touch, his rise incarnation is a hot mess content to just binge on snacks and ignore his mountain of trauma, and his mutant mayhem incarnation has all the stern yet wise mentorship you expect.. but is also an INCREDIBLY awkward dad. There's universal traits: the love for his sons, a background in martial arts, the name hamoto yoshi if he was a human. But his roll tends to stand firm: he's there to support and teach the boys and when their without him their at their most frought and vulnerable.

But being the boys dad.. it also means it's a tad less fun to include him at times, and so the boys are mostly left to their own divicies, with Splitner stepping in being a sign shit has gotten THAT bad, like how he shows up during their first fight with the shredder in the 2003 cartoon , at the climax of the live action movie or my personal faviorite in the idw comics when Casey , part of the family at this point, is beaten up by his abusive dad again. Splitner rescues the boy, threatens his dad and makes it clear he's not going anywhere near the boy or else. Incarnations that loose splinter tend to feel lost afterwords wether it's temporary like his kidnapping in the movie or seeming death in rise, or permenant like his deaths in 2012 and IDW. The turtles are pure escapism and execs and writes probably figure kids, adults and whoever don't want their dad hanging over them every step. There to support them, love them and step the fuck in when things are worst.. but giving them space to let them just caper and have fun on their own. To have their own adventures.

As a result when Krang shows up, Splinter usually either isn't there to intervene, or assumes they can handle it. The 2012 series has him mildly involved, but he's more heavily involved with the foot storyline due to Shredder's unending hatred of him. Krang is just another one of the weridos his son punches in the face. Shredder is as much his arch enemy in most continuties as he is the boys.

So it's neat to see them square off.. but sadly there isn't an actual fight. The fights in this ova are mostly just.. people shooting their special attacks at one another. It LOOKS cool and what not but you can tell they didn't have the budget for actual full on fights and use sharp cuts and what not. So the turtles grapple with the super troopers while Splinter and Krang just .. make banter. It's disapointing. I mean I can play shredders revenge again and play the second to last level but it's just not the same. I do like that when they get flooded out of the lair Krang chastises Splinter for leaving the door open and the joke of Krang being more upset SPlinter barged in unannounced with Krys Mu by his side.

Sadly that flood means: it's time. the fight between the turtles and team chucklefuck lasted just long enough for him to do a sonic adventure and flood new york. Now our heroes gotta open their hearts or else, as Dark Mu arrises and she's.. Krys mu but iwth black hair, a sexier outfit and more power. Krang naturally has her use it on shredder and this is where this up to this point entirely normal special about the turtles turning into roided up versions of themselves who look meh and fight super versoins of their enemies, inclduign shredder as a giant terrifying dragon man for some reason, goes off the rails. Krang makes his shredder grow.. and as a result shredder is a GIANT MONSTER. Wow this really is the climax to a sonic game.

So Raph says what we're all thinking "Shit". Casual swearing in Japanese Childrens Media, you love to see it. We then get the greatest moment in either episode as splinter launches a giant murder ball of energy at the turtles.. and Splinter FUCKING CATCHES IT. Keep in mind Splinter dosen't have a mutastone, is deep in middle age, and isn't hurt at all from this, while Shredder has been given DOUBLE mutastone power and made into a fucking kaiju.. and Splinter STILL fucking blocked the attack. The action here may be slowly portioned out, but dman if it isn't fluid when it happens.

THe boys and splinter escape into april's news helicopter, which shredder bats at like a kitten. So Donnie.. has a clever plan. And a really clever one. He gets down there and fucking BAITS kaiju shredder, goading him into attacking a building.. enough to SAW IT IN HALF SO IT FALLS ON TOP OF HIM. Look this special is silly as fuck but you can't say it's not amazing. Donnie dropped a building on a fucking kaiju shredder.

Dark Mu decides to just fly into space and kill everyone because she can do that. She always could. Shut up. So the turtles have to use their ultimate power. The Turtle Saint. You think they'd save this for the line blatantly riping off saint seyia but no, their going full saint now merging into a bigger turtle man. And since I have the opprotunjity I gotta say.. the deisgns for the super turtles are mid as hell

Now i will give credit where it's due. The masks are dope as fuck. Their cool, heroic, and really pop. The rest though.. is just the turtles as more humanoid. Their pretty standard super humans and ther'es no diffrence between the four. Which is normal sure, but in a toyline that also got as weird and creative as "let's make raph a birthday magician", they could do better. I"m not saying "Let's make Raph a Birthday Magician is the peak of creativity.. but it is amazing.

The saint mode is a bit bettery. I don't like how white it is and wish it's midsection was yellow or green instead of blue, as Blue is leo's color. Same iwth the max. You could've made the belt Blue to represent leo. It gives the impression he's in control instead of what the Saint is: all four of them controlling one body. I still like it more than the base form though: while the coloring is off, it looks less generic, with the superhero outfit, mighty sword, giant wings and turtle feet more visable but also armored. It gives a better impression of this being a super mode the turtles use than the regular super mutation.

I also like how the saint functions: it has a three minute time limit, explaning why they don't just use it and beat everyone up, and it's HARD to use. Simliar to waht Steven Universe would do eventually, the fusion relies on the boys working in synch mentally.. and given how their all so vastly diffrent: the dutiful son, the angry wiseass, the loveable goofus and the science boy, it's very hard to actually CONTROL saint mode. So while it's mostly played for laughs Dark Mu genuinely dominates the fight and our heroes can't land a hit. I like when a super mode has limits, that it's not just an instant win button but something that you have to master.

So to win the day Crys Mu sacrifcies herself, pulling a goku and grabbing her sibling so the turtles can kill them both. They naturally don't want to stab their friend.. but Crys insures them as a spirit she can't die.

So naturallyt hey pull off their finisher for crys and kill both fairies. The turtles are then picked up by nasa. And... in a dark time such as this.. it's so nice that i'm getting paid to write that and to have watched that.

The turtles look out and see the crystals floating in space, implying both farieis survivied but are now trapped in the void... then we end on a joke and some end credits so we're just moving on from that. Crys and Dark only get mentioned in the opening credits. While Mutastones are involved it's pretty much a complete soft reset: the turtles mutastones are inert, so they need a fresh set and kenner needs a fresh set of toys to plug soooooooooo....

The Coming of the Guardian Beasts - The Metal Turtles Appears!

So for this adventure

And so are the turtles as Splitner got a message from a hidden ninja villiage he's cool with that needs his help. The thing is the setup makes more sense than last time: Splinter and Shredder ARE from Japan, and while Splinter got framed and thrown out of the foot clan, given what Shredder turned it into it's not a shock he'd still have allies who'd want his help.

Mikey of course goofs around and then has to shove himself into the taxi in a great bit of physical comedy. Back with Team Dumpdumb, Krang has found a new mutastone and wants Shredder to go get it, who bitch cries about how the mutastones are all trouble, he dosen't get beat up and how women are in star wars now and that displeases him. Krang gets him to do his bidding the usual way... by laughing in a very annoying high pitched voice till shredder does what he says. I know the 87 shredder isn't the most compitent shredder.. but I have to belivie he can outlast a laugh and go five minutes without whining like a toddler.

So they get teleported to Japan.. on top of a bullet train. The turtles are interrupted from a riviting conversation with a passenger about what thomas the tank engine character they are to deal with this.. and also have to hang the fuck on. I love this as until archer I hadn't thought of how.. fucking hard it'd be to actually fight on top of a moving vechile let lone one this fast, and it's a great gag. The turtles don't have to fight though as NINJAS arrive, including their leader and the one who sent for splinter, Hattori Kinzo who looks distractingly like Ryu, the protaganist of Ninja Gaiden

They use some shurikens to knock shredder off a train, again love this job so much, and take the turtles to their villiage to get their help. As it turns out he needs help guarding a sacred mirror that contains a set of sacred stones, fresh new mutastones. Unfortuantely for them a ghost of a bandit or something whose not really explaind shows uand just .. laughs. Yeah why the ghost came back is never really explained, he's left vauge as to if he's helping the turtles or team shredder.

Speaking of team ran out of names, they find our heroes and the shrine grows into a castle everyone starts climbing. eventually though raph questions

So they split up: the non mutant ninjas keep climbing and the mutant ninjas take the stairs.

This ends up not mattering as Bebop, Rocksteady and shredder beat the turtles and while Team Ninja tries to throw fake mirrors everywhere it fails and Shredder grabs the mirror.

So after beating Ninja Gaiden we get ARMORED versions of the villians. And look i've only read maybe a volume of saint seia, a manga about our boys they can be heroes, and frankly even that little tells me their just using the same gimmic, replacing the animals of the western astrological zodiac with animals of the chinese zodiac. That said while the concepts a blatant knockoff.. they do a good job making it thir own. If you compare the designs

There's defintely some similarites in the head pieces, but they vary it up enoguh int he actual armor to still feel creative and they look dope. Each one fits the turtles: Leo has a samurai garb, Raphs flame motif fits him and his animal, michealngeo has warm round edges and donnie's looks mildly cybernetic. It's smallt ouches but it's clear the animators put a bunch of thought into it. The toys themselves well.

Yeah these do not look great, with the indviduality gone for the most part and the armor clunkily fitting over previously existing molds. While I get the point of this it dosent look great. The designs for the others also look sharp: SHredder gets white tiger armor a perfect contrast to Leo's dragon, Rocksteady gets errr snakes and Bebop is a pirhana for some reason.

`I esepcailly love shredders looking like a dope upgrade of his normal look.

Our heroes are at a disadvantage easily getting curb stommped until the ghost who pointed shredder to the mirror.. helps them get it. Our heroes get their forms. And no I don't quite get the spider either but it looks cool and the fight here is a bit more intenstive if still mostly calling special moves. but the moves look spiffy and the finale is excellent. Shredder tries to retreaate as he didn't know till Ninja Gaiden explained it that the suits hav ea time limit so we get a neat beam struggle between him and leo.. that ends when the time limit comes too. The bad guys are beat but still have thier stones, but our heroes have theirs, everyone celebrates and the castle collapses because why not. NOTHING WAS RESOLVED

I like the metal mutants episode more as I write about it. The first one is more batshit insane, but this feels like a more solidly put together story. I mean it's still nuts, yo uhave the random ghost, but it feels far more in line with 87 tmnt: plenty of jokes but nice stakes and action to go with them and a premise and setup that could easily slot into the show before the red sky days.

Overall theses ovas are goofy fun. Probably not among the best turtles content but fun unique toy tie ins that are just long and batshit enough to be fun, but not so long they outstayed their welcome. I would've loved a full TMNT anime and still would at some point, but this is a pretty neat piece of turtles nonsense right when I needed it most. Thanks for reading.