#Ngl tho the chokehold that 'just some guy' can have on me

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

*guy (gn)

[burstinn]

REQUEST!

as a male!Reader, I feel very represented in your works,

could you write a male!Reader that’s really tall? Like, humongous? In hight, and body? (In the military as well)

I always see male!Readers that are so small and tiny and baby.

like, no. You get me? Just saying. Thanks!

Male! Reader with the height and body of a goddamn Monster.

(Headcanons)

Note: some mentions on top reader but I like to keep it ambiguous. So you can read it as a switch! Reader. This is a quick drabble of some Hcs

People shown: Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Price, Keegan, Graves, Nikto, König, Horangi, Logan Walker,Roach, Makarov, Krueger

-Reader is 6'5.

-Basically built like the Russian terminator guy

GHOST

- Got shocked when he first saw you, wanted to seem more intimidating than you.

-So he puffed out his chest and glared at you.. Bro wants to challenge you nahh 😭😭🙏🙏

-You would fold him tho ngl (in the ring and in bed fr fr)

-when he got comfortable with you kinda jealous his title of the big, tall intimidating man got taken away.

-When you sparred with Ghost it was a tough fight but you managed to get Ghost in a chokehold wrapping one of your tough bulging sexy ass arms around Ghost's neck.

-Never knew he wanted to be man handled so bad it was Hot he had to excuse himself and run off because he got hard.

-Starts imaging if your cock is just as big.. Spoiler alert.. It is..

SOAP

-Looks at you then Ghost mind blown that there was someone more humongous than Ghost

-Teased Ghost for awhile

-Drools over your pecs..

-He totally dreams of being crushed by you..

Or being crushed between Ghost and you.. Or both..

-Asks if he could feel your guns (Your arms..)

(IT COULD ALSO BE YOUR HUGE THROBBING CO-)

-Keeps glancing at your cock. Even though it's clothed.. I mean look at you.. Your manhood is basically too tight for your pants he can literally see your outline.

-Soap asked if he could measure your Length.. So he could see how far it could go inside of him YK?! YOU UNDERSTAND.

GAZ

-More interested than having dirty thoughts.

-Keeps asking how you got that big

-Wants to be just as strong as you

-Cutie patootie (T_T)

-Basically hangs around you to see how you work

-Even follows you so he could watch you train and spar

-Asks about your diet and if how your body looks is genetic

-inspired by you. Like a child (😭😭WHALUAAHHAH GAZZ)

PRICE

-Beneficial for him I mean he gets to have another soldier that's just as intimidating as Ghost.. Maybe even more.

-Is like a proud father

-Talks to everyone about you and how bla bla bla

-Trains with you

-He'd show you tricks and tips on how he trains and you show him tips and tricks on how you train

-Probably has a picture of you at his desk.. Beside the other pictures of his other not biological family. Aka. The whole 141..basically has a pic of everyone they all family up in 'ere

KEEGAN

-Heh.. Yknow.. Pictures..

-In the showers in lockers makes sure he's there near so he can see you in all your glory

-Probably had wet dreams about you

-Also makes sure he's there when your training. It's not like he's obvious everyone there is fuckin watching you

-What's that? You wearing a compression shirt? 🤨🤨 nuh uh in the sex chamber you go 👉

-Touching, touching, touching EVERYTHING

NIKTO

-Quiet

-What the fuck

-Silent panicking

-Jealous very jealous

-Compares himself to you, would train harder just so he can look like you (bb nooo 😭😭)

-Would watch also how you train your body so he could copy it

-You caught him once training in the middle of the night.. And he's using your technique on how you use the punching bags.. He's just getting some stuff wrong..

-When he notices you he got.. Slightly embarrassed and angry.. Panicked inside when you came closer asking him if he was using your technique in training

-You trained him properly on how you do it.

-so like now.. You train him in the middle of the night..

GRAVES

-same as price shows you off but more in an annoying way

-Hes boasting

-Would face you off against his strongest shadows no diff you still win.. Yuuuhhh

-Subtle touching like hand on shoulder, arm, head whatever.

KÖNIG

-Relieved that he has someone that looks like him.. Albeit slightly shorter.. Still!

-Got nervous meeting you first.. Forced himself to act tough to impress you I mean he is a colonel

-Makes sure to be in missions with you. Wants to see you in your most serious and intimidating

-Got intimidated himself once he saw how you act on field

-Tries to be on your good side the whole time

-One day he was watching you and just started thinking about YOU KNOWWW!!

-Blasphemous! He got red and cried to Horangi about it

HORANGI

-You know about this guy

-He's silly

-He'd read fanfics thinking it's him and you

-he'd make fanfics too, about you and him maybe adds König

-Shows it to König all proud and shit as if König isn't looking at him with absolute horror in his face when he reads what Horangi wants to do with you or you with him.

-He's delusional

-Slapped your ass and blamed it on someone else that's near him. It was König.

-Is it as veiny as your arms? A man can only dream.

-gives you a soda can and tells you to crush it in your arms.. Better yet in between your legs.

-Would then tell you like "good now do my head"

-PlEASE let him be between your thighs

LOGAN WALKER

-Rolled his eyes when he saw you

-Avoids you like the plague

-Why doesn't he like you? No idea. He a big pussy bitch is what. He sad you get more dick n pussy than him.

-Complained about you to Hesh

-He may not like you. He can't lie tho. You are good at your job so like he can't do anything about that

MAKAROV

-Sex Chamber. Now.

ROACH

-Quiet around you..

-Looks up at you like a damn bug. It's cute. He likes it when he looks up at you

-He'd jump on you and crawls around like a cockroach

-haha funi jok

-Would use your shoulder as a seat.

-If you do pushups he'd be on top of your back

ALEX KELLER

-Oh..

-Audible gulp sound (haha he's drinking your seme-)

KRUEGER

-Curses in German

-Dreaming about HAHAHAHAAHAH

-If he's fingering his gun to clean it he just.. Thinks..

-If he sees YOU finger your gun to clean it.. That's it he's done.

-He's dragging you somewhere

[lazyrezi]

Tj klune books ranked by me based on pure vibes, re-read potential, angst to humor ratio and MY OBJECTIVELY CORRECT OPINION:

Tales of Verania - LISTEN! LISTEN!!! These books are insane and I don't even know if I mean it in a good way tbh. The characters are all on crack. It's both corny (HAH if you know you know) and raunchy. YES the humour is a bit out there and sometimes the sex scenes/jokes are almost too much for my virgin eyes. Are these books "good"? You're asking the wrong question! They're fun and you WILL have fun reading them!!! It's very self-aware, tongue in cheek also sometimes a little too cheesy for my liking.

Oh, also, there are lesbian and emo dragons and magic and monologuing villains and a prophecy because OF COURSE THERE IS. These books will not change your life, but they will make you laugh and maybe cringe and feel. I am thinking about rereading it for the vibes. 10/10 would recommend BUT ONLY if you can get silly with it!!! No doom and gloom!!! (Okay, maybe a little doom and gloom....)

Green creek - ANGST. WEREWOLVES. GAY POSSESIVE WEREWOLVES. FOUND FAMILY

(weird age gap relationships I'm so sorry I hate it too and I hate how easy it would have been to just not do that but oh well)

MORE ANGST.

It's been a minute since I have read these books but oh boy they had me in a chokehold for MONTHS. Full disclaimer I have not read the last book AND STILL I am fully confident in recommending these books.

Ngl there is more weird shit in these books than I care to list. IT DOESN'T MATTER. If the tales of verania characters are on crack then these ones are living in a straight up soap opera. People leave. They hold grudges. THEY HAVE AMNESIA? They have enemies as well. Buildings blow up, people die ohymgod the melodrama never ends and. That is. SO FUN. albeit a different kind of fun but still. Fun times all around. I have finished reading these books and immediately reread them which should tell you everything you need to know. 10000/10

The extraordinaries - imagine you're watching a movie where a scene is coming up that just gives you THE WORST second hand embarrassment - now imagine it isn't a scene in a movie, it's three books and it's every page of all three books. Just sheer unadulterated second hand embarrassment.

Now if you look inside yourself you might find that your feelings are misplaced. The main guy isn't embarrassed and neither should you be! Life is all about falling on your ass and making an idiot out of yourself in the process and it's okay! It's okay. At least that's what I kept telling myself while reading these books.

No, but in all seriousness. These books are good fun. The greatest thing about tj klune is that he will take ANY theme and make it gay. We have gay superheroes. Gay werewolves. Gay magical beings. Gay ghosts! I as someone who regularly wonders why the media I am consuming isn't more gay, am a fan. I want him to do it all. Gay cowboys! Gay astronauts! GIMME IT.

These books I will not reread because I fear I might just die from the second hand embarrassment. It's so bad. But! It's also good! Educational fun. Wholesome love. Some minimal melodrama. 7/10

Oookay. Time for the stand alone books!

The house in the cerulean sea - okay don't hate me but this ain't my favourite. It's everyone else's tho! So I'm sure there is something to it. I think this is what you think of first when you hear tj klune - everyone knows this one, everyone loves it. It's like the popular kid in school. I, as a stubborn contrarian cannot abide this.

Still there is a lot going for this one. It takes you on a journey in a way a book should. And I personally love old gays being in big gay love so I can't complain.

But I will nonetheless.

So the thing about this book is that it's very innocent. And there isn't much angst just a minor misunderstanding that is pretty much quickly resolved. The big confrontation at the end is also quickly squashed by *checks notes* people talking to each other? I mean. It's nice! I would like it to work like that irl. In stories however.... I like a little more angst and anguish personally. There are also a lot of kid characters in this one which is FINE tj klune is actually pretty good at writing kids realistically (even special magical kids) but it's just not for me. I say that but I will be buying the sequel next month so jokes on me. The whole book was just a little too on the nose for my liking but it's still a very cosy read. Also someone pointed this out but WHY is this book so British? None of his other books are set in Britain and this one is set in a magical world so what's up with that?

Despite all my complaints I have reread this book twice. I don't know either. 8/10

In the lives of puppets - first tj klune book I have ever read and seeing as I have since then read everything written by this man I think you know this one is a good one. IT'S SO GOOD. It has everything!! Robots. Found family (families always find each other in tj klune stories). Asexual main guy. ROAD TRIP. Wholesome fun and existential crises for the price of one! 9/10 docked a point only because I don't think I'll be rereading it again. Also the romance was a bit weird BUT! It did grow on me. Like mould.

Under the whispering door - you would think this one would be an easy 10/10. Doomed love story (also gay 'cause of course it's gay), lessons about redeeming yourself, coffee shop and ghosts and and. Honestly it's been a minute since I've read this one. But what I remember is the ending.

Call me pessimistic but I don't think love should bring you back from the dead SORRY. IMMA SAY IT. Main guy should have stayed dead! Think like "the love was there, it didn't save anyone but it was there" vibes. Expect! Here it did save someone! Ridiculous concept! I buy ghost dogs but I WILL draw the line at being brought back from the dead. (The dog isn't brought back in case you're wondering). And it's such a shame because I really like the themes about death and redeeming yourself and it has such good potential! Unfortunately it suffers a serious case of not-working-for-me. Listen can I explain to you why this book didn't hit the same as the rest? Noo. All I know is that I read this book and immediately forgot about it. And unlike the house in the cerulean sea it looks like so did everyone else. Seriously tho. Anyone a big fan of this one? 6/10.

[h-harleybaby]

i love ur writing ur my favroite on this app 🫶🫶🖤🖤💜💜 Could you possibly possibly write a Cartman x reader who defends him with her life (and he absolutely loves it) like if Kyle insults him, before he can even respond she just says the absolute out of pocket shit to shut Kyle up, or like if one of the girls say something mean to him she’ll just straight up punch them in the face (reader doesn’t have to be a she i just wrote she because i’m cis female)

That’s actually pretty cute hun!! Sorry it took me so long <333

Cartman x reader who defends him

• Clearly, you gotta be delusional to defend Cartman most of the time. But ig Cartman loves delusional hoes 💅💅

• You’re widely known as the delusional Cartman defender and it’s kinda funny. People have and still continue to ask you about it because they think he’s lying

• You defend him like a LAWYER and that right there takes some balls, and really good gaslighting skills

• I shit you not, you literally become his personal lawyer and it’s super funny. Just like, “Your honor… my client was just feeling PARTICULARLY silly that day :3”

• Literally no one knows why or even understands why defend him like that, hell not even Cartman himself knows why but he’s not gonna even try questioning it

• I feel like the first time you insult Kyle, Cartman probably kisses you. Ngl Kyle started fake gagging at that because he wanted to be an asshole back

• Honestly, he was stunned when you said something before his own big mouth could. He’d never tell you but he absolutely adores that

• It’s become a regular thing tho, you guys are complete menaces and when you think about it, it’s super cute

• You’ve definitely gotten in a fist fight with Kyle tho, at the very least 4 times a month. Y’all fr DO NOT like each other

• Half of the time Kyle completely fucks you up and Cartman has to begrudgingly patch you up. Well, more like keep bothering his mom asking how to do stuff until she ends up doing it

• The other half of the time you end up fucking up Kyle somehow?? No one knows how it was probably because you were fighting dirty and Cartman helped you fight dirty by distracting him and stuff

• He doesn’t wanna say he’s proud of you but he definitely shows you with the little things, like maybe doing a couple “favors” for you in return

• It’s probably like share snacks and stuff and he always says you owe him for it but you both know you don’t. At this point Cartman’s just saying it for the nonexistent reputation he has

• His mom probably adores you because in her eyes his friends don’t stick up for him what friends? and she’s glad for him to be around someone like you

• She totally bakes cookies for the both of you and you probably have to put him in a chokehold to share if you haven’t recently beaten up someone for him

[onceuponamillennia]

i am fuckin obsessed w boiling point rn and ur the only person who talks about it i just..it’s so good i… specifically jamie and his self harm/cutting.. and emily.. and bolton… and ALL OF THEM. why are they all SO GOOD. god. i haven’t even finished it bc i just keep rewatching scenes over and over bc it’s so good and amazing and omg im LOSING SLEEEEEP ARGHRGRHRGEH sigh i just need to talk ab jamie and emily??? hello?? mother son relationship? when she’s crying that she can’t lose him? how she rides with him to the hospital? how HE LIVES W HER??? sigh i love them so much…..

AAAAA THANK YOU ANON FOR THE ASK TY <3

HDHDJH boiling point has me in a chokehold /pos samee. im not the only one making fandom content tho, @perfectoontumb1r has some nice fanart and @strabane-asda0 has some posts on it too, so go check those out!!

JAMIE. my boy. hes so sad and so sweet and the shows portrayal of sh is, imo, really really good. I for one quite happy with it. but. more content of him tho when?? ep3?? we coulda seen him in the hospital again or something but no?? the one flaw in the series id argue. BUT this show is good, maybe its for the best. Im already internally screaming with all the sad content we have of him already so what can i say.

HIM AND EMILY. THE FOUND FAMILY. oop dont mind me dying <3 THEYRE BOTH SO SAD I CANT sfkbud. like i just. the scene between the two of them in the movie. and now the series. EPIC. one of the greatest mother-son relationships methinks, and pretty much my fave.

Dude,, the scene in the ambulance,, emily holding jamie's hand,,, so much emotion aaa <3

Bolton :]] ngl im pretty pissed at him for ep2 but ig u could say hes redeemd himself so to say. He so lonely lmao. poor guy. You can literally see later-ep2-onwards the guilt in his eyes. Im glad he's standing up to nick, he needs to beat nick up tbh. (bc ofc we all hate nick. camille deserevs a bajillion better).

KJBBJ FINISH THE SERIES TRUST MEE. its all so, so good!!

and again ty for the ask ^-^

[antiloreolympus]

4 Anti LO Asks

1. idk man its still just weird to me that everyone is well aware persephone is way too young for hades and is so childish and immature she still needs the adults to take care of everything yet are still cool with them getting together and being married? like idk let her get her degree first and actually try her options and live on her own and discover herself instead of being locked down into marriage and duties before she can even rent a car.

2. I don't know if you guys care, but Webtoons actually just announced they picked up another Greek myth comic! It's a supernatural fantasy romance called "Eros Conquers All" and it's a dark twist on Eros (obvs) with some interesting twists on the gods. the style is gorgeous too. I doubt it will knock LO off its perch, but it's nice to see Webtoons itself seem to be expanding their myth comic collection to hopefully diversify from the chokehold LO has on the subject. Here's hoping it performs well!

3. ngl im kinda hoping hades didnt misspeak and rachel actually made them get married off screen bc i cant imagine the fanbase would be thrilled over waiting literal years to finally see them get together and its just rushed off screen bc thats the best she could think up to not have persephone go to jail (tho that sets up that the universe of LO is even more of a dystopian nightmare where women are powerless and dependent on their husbands for their own lives, but thats a bridge to cross later)

4. FP MENTION // I believe Hades misspoke when saying he's known Persephone for months. But even if he deliberately lied, doesn't this make him look bad? It makes it seem like he's been cheating on Minthe, since there would be considerable overlap regarding the relationship timelines. At least Hera and no doubt other high-ranking Olympians are aware of Minthe (and dislike her, so they probably wouldn't care anyways...)