#Next week's its three. Then four. Then I'll probably stay there or go down to theee

[luxlitemidnight]

Today has been an interesting day. Considering I've been fired and the evidence keeps pointing towards having been a system for a very long time. And yet I'm not having that bad of a day. It's possibly the weed

[formulawolff]

the (not so subtle) art of a crush - t.w.

pairing: female driver!reader x toto wolff

word count: 777

warnings: toto being down bad, some teasing, sexual innuendos, one-sided yearning, yadayadayada

a/n: this was a request made by an anon (i believe!) this is also sort of a spin-off of fanboy behavior, which i absolutely adored writing. i think yearning (and well.. down bad) toto is my favorite toto to write! i hope y'all enjoy! <3

"and tell me," the driver's accent is crisp as he licks his lips, "why do you need help creating an instagram account again?"

"nothing major," a figure shrugs, fiddling with a loose thread in his wrinkled white polo, "i just want to stay in the loop. that's all."

"toto," a new voice chimes in, "you have never once mentioned wanting an instagram, or any social media really, until now. what is going on?"

"nothing major," toto wolff exhales, rolling his eyes, "you all have it, so why can't i?"

"because you're ancient?" lewis hamilton scoffs, arching a brow, "you're probably going to need a step-by-step tutorial on how to navigate the platform."

"i think i can figure that one out myself you know," toto hisses, jaw clenching as his drivers stare blankly, "if five year-olds can do it, i can do it."

"let me see your phone," george russell extends an arm, waving his fingers, "i'll get your account set up."

"i-i," the team principal stammers, heat billowing into his cheeks, "i-i don't know if i necessarily need help with that."

"are you blushing?" lewis purses his lips, a devious smirk forming as the dots connect, "mate, do you have something in there that you don't want us to see?"

only approximately one hundred and two screenshots of a certain williams driver. three or four videos. all of which were screen recordings from various interviews.

his cherished clips. ones he watched every night before he drifted off.

all of which were not tucked away into the hidden folder of his camera roll.

speaking of which, he may have to figure out how to do that. with three kids, an ex-wife, and two nosy drivers, his phone was an easy target. he probably needed to set up a passcode as well.

the lengths he was going to over a crush. a fucking crush.

well, was it a really a crush?

or more like an infatuation?

that was a question for another time. he had two drivers in his office at the moment, circling around him like vultures, eager to pick him apart.

"nothing of your interest," toto retorts, in a vain attempt to maintain his composure, "nothing, really."

"got someone's nudes in there?" lewis coos, tilting his head, "or even worse, a sex tape?"

"lewis," george brings a hand to his temple, "what on earth is wrong with you?"

"what, mate?" lewis throws his hands in the air, "i'm just giving him shit."

"shit he clearly does not want," george mutters, "toto, if you need help setting up an account, just facetime me. don't try to text me. it's much easier to explain over a call than written directions."

"or he can just go on wikihow," lewis offers, "they have guides on just about everything."

oh, really?

did they have a guide on how to navigate the unbearable weight of yearning for a woman thirty years your junior? a woman on a rival team? a crush so bad that it was beginning to snake its way into every aspect of your life? consume your every waking thought?

a crush so intense that you had already spoken to members of the williams crew?

his next target was james, whom he was planning on meeting and speaking with after the next press conference. that was in about a week's time, at third grand prix of the season.

fuck, this was embarrassing, really.

but he wanted more.

actually, he needed more.

he craved it.

he needed to gather all of the possible information and intel as he could. her likes and dislikes. her favorite foods and the ones that were so vile they made her throw up. what kept her up at night. what music she preferred to listen to on race day. what drinks she indulged in. what animals she loved. what made her so unbelievably pissed off she couldn't think straight.

he wanted to catch a glimpse inside of her mind.

all of the things that could possibly buzz around inside of that beautiful head.

really, he just wanted to learn what she was composed of.

her childhood memories, the ones she spoke of with that sweet fondness in her voice. the delicate aspects of her life that she cherished, beaming from ear to ear. the things she feared. how she expressed her love. the people she adored.

everything.

he wanted to know it all.

and following her instagram account, along with her various other socials would prove to be the first step in accessing that plethora of information.

at least it was a step in the right direction.

even if his drivers were giving him hell for it.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ taglist ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

@noooway555 @s-awturn @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @lokideservesahug @fore45fore @eattothebeatt @statuewoman @sarah10r-blog @lavenderandlace @racecardilfs @bblouifford @irishmanwhore @jhobi18 @roseandtulips @simply-the-best23

[sweetlyskz]

Emerald Gem||Chapter Five

Chapter one|Chapter two|Chapter three|Chapter four|Chapter five|Chapter six|Chapter seven|Chapter eight||Chapter nine|Chapter ten (finale!)|

Pairing: Hybrid!OT7 x fem!reader

Overview: Living away from society has its perks. All natural food from your thoroughly cultivated farm, no nosy neighbors, and peace and security with your animals. But sometimes you did get lonely, having no one the talk to but the pigs. However, when 7 extremely wanted hybrids stable upon your deserted farm, everything changes.

Genre: Hybrid Au, Strangers to lovers, slow burn, smut, fluff

Word count: 1.7k

Unedited

"How much longer do we have to keep walking?"

The group was extremely sick and exhausted, walking miles and miles along the forest. When Jimin had no more energy left, the youngest carried him on his back. The pack leader was fearful of the government coming to find them, so during the day they walked nonstop. And when the sun would finally rest, they would rest in the nearest cave or by the tallest tree.

"Until we make it to some water", Joon claimed, ears perked to listen for the closest stream. "I can hear it. We're almost there."

"We wouldn't have had to run, y'know..." Jimin was absentmindedly whispering his thoughts, delirious from lack of sleep.

"I miss her", Tae whined. "And I miss the food, and the comfy bed, and the little chickens..."

Namjoon ignored their complaints, keeping the same pace. He was just as sick and tired as they were, but his love for his pack kept him strong. Now matter how much they tried to convince him to stay, it didn't work. But they couldn't blame him- Namjoon has been burned before.

And he wasn't gonna let it happen again.

Justin didn't like taking the bus. The older kids always made fun of him. Plus, his school was only a couple of minutes away from home if he took the shortcut. So everyday afterschool he would hop the fence behind the school and take left and right turns through the alleyways to get home.

Until one day where he met a little wolf hybrid. Justin had stumbled upon the little guy next to a dumpster in the alley. He was frail and weak looking. His short was torn, his pants were jagged, and the soles of his feet were black.

"Hey little guy", Justin whispered, slowly walking up to the wolf as to not startle him. However it did quite the opposite.

"Please!" He screamed. "I'll go but please don't hurt me!"

With that, Justin backed away. "I'm not gonna hurt you- promise!" The hybrid stood on his feet with haste, getting ready to make a fast exit.

But Justin didn't wanna let him go.

"Are you lost? Do you need some help?" That's when he realized Justin wasn't coming for him- he probably didn't even know who he was.

"N-no. Im f-fine", he whispered, making his way to the kind human who offered to help him. "Just please don't tell anyone I'm here-please." He got down on his knees and pleaded.

"I won't, I swear. But, you can't stay here. Whoever you're hiding from will find you as easily as I did."

The hybrid thought for a second, pondering over his next moves. He's probably been on the run his whole life. His street smarts are probably beyond compare. At least, that's what Justin thought.

"I have nowhere to go..." He whispered. "My family... they're dead. They're all dead- and I'm alone."

It was like looking in a mirror. Justin had found someone just like him. Parentless, scared, afraid. He had a feeling he could help. "You can come stay with me for a while", he offered.

And just like that- he found himself stepping into Justins small apartment. It was cramped, but it's all Justin could afford so he made it work. They lived together for month before Justin finally asked what his name was.

"Namjoon", he replied. "My name is Kim Namjoon, and I'm wanted for murder."

***

Some of the food in your fridge had spoiled. Just to prevent from wasting you walked miles away to the nearest neighbor and gave them all of your leftovers. It been a couple weeks since the guys had left, and you were feeling lost-empty. You knew who they were. You knew what people called him. You knew they were wanted by the government, but it didn't stop you from taking them in.

And even though they hadn't stayed long, it was hard to imagine what life was like without them- especially when you had already imagined a life with them.

When it was time to rest your head, you would walk by their rooms and whisper goodnight. But even though no one was there, the ghost of them always replied back, "goodnight, sweet dreams."

Every now and then you swear you hear laughing downstairs, the sound of Hoseok rolling around in the grassy field, or even the sound of Taehyung flipping the page of a good book. Every now and then, while making dinner, you feel a presence creep up behind you asking "Can I just have one bite? How will I know if it's good if I don't try it?" Jungkook loved to sneak bits of supper before it was ready.

The feeling made you queasy, and it brought tears to your eyes. It made you anxious, so you watched the new every night in hopes that they hadn't been caught. Because, even though they didn't want to stay with you, you sure as hell weren't going to let the researchers have them.

You had already made that mistake once before.

Your birthday party was absolutely amazing! Your friends were there, all of your family came. Even the gifts were memorable. However, something was missing. Your nine year old self couldn't put your finger on it, but something seemed off about that day. It felt as though you were at someone else's birthday party, like the party wasn't for you.

If wasn't until you got older that you realized that it was true- it wasn't technically your birthday party. It was your birthday- that part it true. However, the party was your father's. It was your father's friends, it was their children. They were never your friends. No one would even notice if you weren't there.

So you left.

By your house was a lake, a peaceful lake where all you could hear was the wind blowing through the trees. That's where you snuck off to that night. That's where you met Mina. She was a wolf- the most beautiful wolf you might ever have seen (the only wolf at that time). Her fur was pure white with specks of gray, and her eyes shimmered in the moonlight. One might've been afraid of her, but you certainly were not. She could tell.

"You come here often, Don't you?" The wolf could speak. For some reason, that didn't scare you either. "From the trees, I notice you come hear to wipe your tears. What's bothering you?"

"I'm alone", you whispered, audibly enough for her to hear. "I don't think I'm supposed to exist. All the signs point against it." You laid in the grass, picking piece to fiddle with. Telling your secrets to a total stranger wasn't the best option. But for you, it was the only option.

"Don't speak such words", she scolded. "Close your eyes. I wanna show you a secret."

You obeyed, shutting your eyes as tight as you could. Out of nowhere, great winds blew and the ground shook.

"Now, open."

She was gone. She vanished, right in front of you. The wolf had vanished, and what replaced it was even more beautiful. Her hair was silver. Her eyes were green. She clothed her self in leaves- fitted like a dress.

"Happy birthday, pup", she smiled. Your eyes began to shed tears. She was the first person to wish you happy birthday- Not even your parents did so.

"T-thank you", you sniffled. "I'm Y/n." She patted your head, the same way your mother once did. It was comforting. Here she was, a total stranger, and she's given you more attention than your mother has in a long time. It entranced you, to the point of laying your head on her

"I know", She sighed. "The nights not going so well, is it?"

You nodded. "When does it ever? I'm nine and feel like I'm an adult- so much I haven't done with so much responsibility."

Daciana was her name, a quite beautiful name. You told her all your fears and she held you close. She comforted you when no one else would.

You will never forgive yourself for what happened to her...

***

The cave was cold, almost icy. Jin wanted to light a fire but Joon was strongly against it. "That'll make us an easy target", he scolded.

Jimin laid flat on his back, having no neck or back support. He thought of you. What are you doing right now? What may you be wearing? He dreamed of the dinner you might be cooking.

Does she even care that we're gone?

Jungkook was trying his best to keep Hobi's fever down, but it continued to rise. Taehyung was in excruciating pain. Yoongi was absolutely delirious and Joon could hardly breathe, choosing the solid ground as the best place to rest.

"Joon, we can't go on like this", Jin begged. It hurt him to see his pack in so much pain. It hurt even more to know the cause of it was his pack alpha.

He heaved, trying to get back on his two feet with no avail. "What else can we do? The minute we think we're safe, we'll will be taken. You know this! Where can we possibly go?"

"Back home", Jimin mumbled, using the last bits of his energy. "I wanna go back home, to Y/n."

"Me too", Kook whispered just audible enough to hear. The rest of the pack agreed, sharing their sentiments- everyone except Namjoon. While everyone whined and groaned, he laughed exasperatedly.

"Are you guys serious? She would've turned us over to the authors the minute she found out who we really are! How many times do I have to tell you this? You cannot trust humans."

Jin was fed up. He was sick, exhausted, and lonely. And he was done following orders.

"What do you think you're doing?" The pack watched Jin as he put Jimin on his back, heading towards the entrance of the cave.

"We're going home, Joon..." Jimin struggled to keep his eyes open, but a smile was plastered on his face. It was hard to miss his excitement, even if it was a little hard for him to express. "Anyone who wants to come can come, but I'm tired of living in fear."

He continued, pointing towards his alpha. "Let me know when you're done too. You know where to find us."

And with that, the six pack member left the dark and empty cave, leaving Namjoon alone with his thoughts.

What am I gonna do now? He thought.

-

-

Taglist!

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[yawneneteyam]

ALL THINGS CONNECTED | j. flatters chapter eight ─ the finish line

summary: growing up on the set of avatar: the way of water was a dream. your friends had become your family, all except for one. jamie was the one person you always found yourself drawn to, in ways more complex than the title of 'best friends' [4.8k!!!].

pairing: fem!reader x jamie flatters

notes: based on jamie flatters documentary: all things connected. co-stars/friends to lovers. inspired by @cacapeepee. I have finally made my return!! I cannot promise when the next part with be out but I am trying to write more and more; I missed you all lots, thank you for your patience with me. mentions of swearing & saying goodbye to your best friend, it's literally depressing.

masterlist ⎸ chapter seven | chapter nine

2019. 

"JAMIE, WE'RE IN THE final stretch.. are you gonna miss anything about la?" filip was behind the camera, zooming in on jamie. you could be seen just to the left of him. he was in a black hoodie eating his overpriced lunch from some chain restaurant you forget the name of. 

"uh, yeah" he started, shovelling some more of his food into his mouth, with a cheeky smirk sitting on his lips. the camera picked up you looking at jamie, your head rested against your fist as you sat in admiration of him.

"and what is that?" filip led.

"so many things, man" jamie shook his head. he picked up his water to take a sip before realising it was empty. as the camera began to pan over to duane, it just got you passing your water off to jamie to have a sip of.

"how 'bout you? you gonna miss anything?" filip redirected his questioning to duane.

"well we haven't crossed the finish line yet" duane tried to stay positive. there was only a week or two left of his time on set. the finish line was approaching.

"but are you going to miss la do you think?" filip continued to question his friends, channeling his inner jamie.

"parts of it" he admitted.

"what're you gonna miss the most?” 

"probably you guys" duane shrugged, a sky smile making its way onto his face.

"awe, shut up man" filip cooed, shoving duane a little.

"stop it!" your voice overlapped his.

"shut up, dude" jamie was the last to chime into the gaggle of embarrassed remarks. 

"that was sweet" the camera panned back over to you, who was just getting your water bottle back from jamie.

"and you? what will you miss about la?" the camera just picked up the little warmth that rose to your cheeks.

"i'll miss you guys" you shrugged, picking at your lunch. "i'll miss you guys a lot" you looked from filip, to duane, to jamie.

"you guys a saps, aye" the camera panned to jamie, who was now stretching with his arms in the air, his arm falling on top of your chair once he was fone. “total melts" he chuckled.

"what're you gonna miss? real shit" filip asked him again, not satisfied with his previous answer.

jamie’s hesitation was caught on film, but he soon shrugged with a shy shake of his head. "well it's gonna be you guys, isn't it?" it wasn’t missed how jamie looked at you for the longest when he said that. "you guys are my best friends" he admitted. “i love you guys".

"awe, jamie!" you leant against him, feeling the warmth radiating from him. he reluctantly pulled you in for a side hug and held you tight, knowing that in four weeks he wouldn’t be able to anymore.

"i'm turning this shit off" jamie chuckled, before his hand covered the lens and the screen went black.

three weeks had passed. "what are we gonna do?" jamie’s conviction brought you back to reality as you zoned out against the window of his hotel room.

"what do you mean?" you asked confused. 

"well i leave on thursday" it hit you square in the face as he spoke. he wasn’t wrong. time had inevitably done it’s duty and had creeped up on you unsuspectingly. you were counting down the days until you had to say goodbye and part, but hearing him say it- made it all the more real.

"i know" you admittedly quietly. jamie was sat on the floor across from you, the sun hitting him just right. his hair had finally started to grow out more, he looked so beautiful in that light. how you wished his camera was in your hands, ready to capture this moment. for now, you would just have to savour it in your mind.

"i dont wanna not be friends anymore after this.. you know?" jamie began to fidget with his fingers, something you noticed he does regularly.

"i know" your heart sunk hearing the vulnerability in his voice. "we're still gonna be friends" you managed to reach his eyes as he looked up briefly. "we'll get to see each other for press" mustering a poor excuse of a smile, you slipped off of the windowsill and sat on the ground with jamie.

"i dont want to wait two years to see you y/n" your legs were touching, he involuntarily found himself leaning into the feeling of you against him.

"we won't, i promise" you shoved him slightly with your foot, making him look up at you. he found solace in the small smile you were offering him.

it was quiet for a little after that, until jamie spoke again. "i have another job lined up, a film" he admitted.

“that’s exciting.. i've got an audition next week" 

"you didn't tell me that" he managed to bite back his scoff.

"i didn't want to jinx it" you shrugged, "it's for a show" you told him.

"that's so cool" he tried to relax his head against the bed, but he stopped once he realised he wouldn’t be able to see you as well. he had to drink you in whilst he could.

"yeah.. we'll see" you chuckled. your lip found it’s way between your teeth before you spoke up again, “i'm gonna miss you jamie".

he looked up from his fingers that he was still picking at to watch your demeanour fall. "i'm gonna miss you more" he admitted.

"can't believe it's over" he caught wind of the small crack in your voice.

"how fucked is that" he sniffed, his emotions starting to ger the best of him. "i'm gonna really miss you" he wiped at his nose as it began to run at the thought of being finished on set. "you have no idea" he scoffed. "you're my best friend, y/n" jamie sniffled again before finally finding the courage to look at you.

you had a few tears falling down your face as you smiled at him sadly. "you're my best friend too, jamie" you managed to chuckle, "i love you" a shrug followed in suit. 

"i love you too" he nodded. he had to fight the urge inside of him to bring you into his arms and keep you there forever.

"i'm scared to go home" you admitted, that brought him back.

"why?" he found himself leaning closer toward you, like two kids sharing secrets.

"my parents fight lots" you whispered almost, "so being here for as long as we have been has been insane, it's been so good just to be out of the house".

jamie was lucky in that retrospect. his parents were together, he had two great brothers who he loved. he couldn’t imagine anything but when it came to family. "i'm sorry y/n" he whispered in reutnr.

"don't be sorry," you shrugged, sniffling. "i mean that's life. it's just hard sometimes… but i'm gonna try and get more work so i can move out eventually".

"you can come live with me" jamie offered.

"you wish" you scoffed, looking up to the ceiling as you wiped your eyes dry. "you'd get sick of me" you chuckled.

"i could never get sick of you, y/n" jamie said in return. anyone who was listening in would think he was just joking around with her, but he knew the weight of his words. "don't forget about me when you go, yeah?".

"jamie" you started, "i could never, ever, forget about you" shaking your head slowly, you reached out and grabbed his hand in yours.

"promise?" he asked quietly.

"i promise" you whispered back.

"i really do love you y/n"

"i love you more" you squeezed his hand a little bit tighter.

"have i ever said how beautiful your smile is?" you hadn’t even realised that you were smiling at this point.

"what?"

"you have a beautiful smile, y/n" he held his gaze with yours, taking in the way you looked at him. it made jamie feel like he was the only one on this earth worthy of you looking their way.

"t-thanks"

"you've changed my entire life y/n" 

"you've changed mine.. like you have no idea" you held in a chuckle as another tear fell down your face. "what time do you leave thursday?".

"my flight is at eight, you're in makeup at at seven" jamie wiped at his nose again with his free hand, a welcome distraction from the things he was feeling.

"so i can't go say goodbye" you whispered.

"we can say goodbye before" jamie squeezed your hand again, you forgot you were even holding it.

"i wish you were staying" 

"me too" he nodded.

"you need to go to sleep” you chuckled, pulling away and beginning to get up from your place on the floor.

“oh yeah? and what about you?” he chuckled, looking up at you and hoping that you could both stay there for a little longer. “we have the same call time” he reminded you.

“yeah but you get grumpy when you don’t sleep” you rolled your eyes at him, grabbing your stuff from his bed.

“i do not” jamie argued back, sniffling away the last of his tears.

“yes you do” you whispered, giving him a hand to help him stand up.

“oh shut up” he said softly, chuckling along with you.

“as much as i’m enjoying sitting here with you, you need to get some rest” you smiled.

“you’re not wrong,” jamie nodded, walking you over to the door. “you’ve got lots of crying to do over me tomorrow” one of the last scenes you filmed together would be neteyam’s death, a fitting end. “do you want me to walk you back?” he asked as you opened the door.

“it’s okay jamie, it’s like twenty metres away” you room was just down the hall.

“you never know what can happen in that amount of time” he raised his eyebrows at you in response.

“goodnight jamie!” you called as you walked away from him.

“night y/n” 

“bro, watch his head, watch his head” you were all in the water, hauling jamie up onto the ledge of the pool. you pushed the last of jamie up onto the ledge before crawling up after him.

“just watch his head” sam said as he laid jamie down against the jagged pieces of set.

“it’s okay bro, we’ve got you” britain spoke as you got up near his head, holding it close to you. you gave sam the room to move as needed but made sure you stayed with jamie up at the front.

sam turned jamie around, you held his head so he wouldn’t hit it on anything as sam checked for an exit wound.“oh, oh no” he stuttered out. you pushed jack out of the way to get a look at his back. you covered your mouth, tears starting to fall from your mouth.

“tey, i-” jamie began, you cut him off as he panted.

“it’s okay ma’ teyam” you scrambled back over to be at his head, looking down at him with tearful eyes.

“put pressure,” sam growled, grabbing britain’s hands harshly. “put pressure on it” he moved britain’s hands to jamie’s chest.

“te-“ jamie tried to stumble out once more.

“it’s okay, i’m here” you said when his breath got caught in his chest. you offered him a reassuring smile as more tears fell at a rapid rate. “i’ve got you” you caressed his cheek and nodded at him. “everything is okay” you said.

jamie’s gaze moved from yours to sam’s who was starting to cry too. “dad-“ he said, you felt jamie grip onto you and you watched as he did the same to sam.

“i’m here” sam nodded, looking down at jamie. the sound effects went off as zoe came in, she ran through the small crowd you had all formed around jamie. 

“no, no, no” she muttered, watching him with wide eyes.

jamie struggled to get his breath steady as he looked from you, to zoe, to sam.“i want to go home” he panted. you couldn’t help but lean down against him, your head next to his. 

“i know, i know” sam cried, trying to hold it all together. “it’s okay, we’re going home” he lied. “we’re going home” you listened as sam said his line and jamie’s breath began to become more rapid as he fought to take breaths in. “it’s okay, it’s okay” sam reminded him softly.

“dad, i…” you felt jamie go limp against your hold.

your eyes snapped open as you got up to look at jamie, his eyes open with nothing in them. “neteyam?” zoe whispered. your breaths quickened as you tried to hold in your sobs. “no, no, no, no” zoe came forwards, holding onto him. “neteyam!” she screamed.

“oh my- no” you sat up away from jamie, watching as he laid there still. “please” you whispered. “please, please, please no” you gripped at your chest, you felt your heart plummet as you watched him there lifeless.

zoe’s greif fuelled scream filled your eyes. “oh great mother,” zoe sobbed, bringing jamie up to hold him against her chest. “no great mother! my son! no!” 

you cried as jack pulled you into his arms, you felt your chest constrict with grief and panic. your sobs only grew as britain began to cry too. jack brought you in over his shoulder as you screamed.

“and cut”

“no, no, no!” you kept crying, the emotion fell from you. it was involuntarily as you screamed over jack’s shoulder. you felt his grip tighten on you as he sat up and started to talk to you, but you didn’t process what was happening.

“y/n?” jamie moved over so he could pull you back from jack. 

“kid” sam came over, his hand on your head. you finally snapped out of it as jamie pulled you into his arms. you watched as bailey and zoe came over too.

“y/n?” zoe grabbed your face in her hands, “are you okay?” she asked softly. you blinked heavily as you caught your breath again.

“i’m sorry” you whispered quickly.

“it’s okay” jamie held you tighter as you calmed down, “you’re okay” he promised.

“i’m so sorry” you said again looking at everyone.

jim had also made his way over. he looked down at you before crouching down to your height. “you okay?” he asked. you nodded shakily, zoe still holding you as she looked into your eyes, almost asking you to be honest with her. “let’s take ten and we’ll go again, okay? take some time” james patted you on the back before heading off to confer with the producers. 

“c’mere” jamie pulled your chin toward him so you were looking up at him. “what’s happened? what’s wrong?” he asked. zoe stayed close, making sure you were okay.

“i-i don’t know” you stuttered, “i just- i just kept crying.. i think i-i’m just tired and i didn’t realise we had cut” you weren’t sure what happened. you weren’t lying. it was almost like you were watching the scene play out in front of you instead of being there. watching jamie just lay there.

“y/n” jamie raised his eyebrows at you, hoping this was the full truth you were giving him.

“i really don’t know” you shook your head. “i-i’m not sure.. i’m okay” you tried to give him a little smile.

“c’mere” jamie wiped your tears away from your cheeks. you embarrassedly oushed him away, doing it yourself- wiping at your now running nose.

“i’m sorry,” you chuckled, trying to recover from the last few minutes.

“it’s okay, you’re okay” jamie nodded, trying his best to reassure you.

“im sorry” you looked from him to zoe. 

“you’re okay” she waved it off casually, trying her best to help you move on from it. 

“you’re safe, yeah?” jamie held your head against his chest. “i’m here, i’ve gotcha” he nodded, offering you a smile.

“what happened today?” 

you were sat in bailey’s hotel room, both laying facing the ceiling. some movie was on in the background, but neither of you were really paying attention anymore. bailey admittedly, like the rest of your castmates, were worried about you after shooting your scene today. you were able to reshoot it, not letting yourself fall to deeply into it this time. 

“i don’t know really” you admitted to her. you turned your head so you were looking at her. she had a crease in her eyebrows, a tell-tale sign that she didn’t believe you.

“are you alright?” she asked, the crease only getting worse. 

“yeah, i think so” you offered, “just couldn’t really snap out of it i guess”.

bailey could always tell how you were feeling, she just had a way of doing it. she knew you felt embarrassed still about this morning. “it’s a hard scene, y/n” she tried her best to comfort you.

“i just felt so stupid” you shrugged, looking back up at the roof.

“why?” 

“because i just kept crying” you scoffed at the memory of today. the way jamie had to physically pull you out of that state.

“you don’t need to feel stupid because of that” bailey grabbed your hand.

you knew that there was more to it. there were so many unspoken feelings going through your head. “it’s nearly over bailey” so you decided to let one slip. “we’re just supposed to pack up and go home” you shook your head in disbelief.

“we still have three more movies left, y/n” she reminded you, like a punch in the face.

“i’ve got one” you admitted. bailey sat up quickly, a shocked look sat on her features. “i’m not contracted on the last two” you told her.

“what?!” she exclaimed.

“yeah,” you nodded.

“wow” she sighed.

you didn’t meet her gaze as you spoke. “jamie leaves in two days. duane is already gone. i leave in a week. the rest of you guys finish two days after that” you let all of your thoughts run wild over your tongue. “what then? we wait two years for the movie to come out and then we do press and it’s over again” the entire process of just having to leave was messing with your head. “this has been almost three years of our lives, how am i just supposed to move on from that?” you asked her, finally looking her way.

“you don’t have to just move on, y/n” she grabbed your hand. you weren’t sure when a fifteen year old got so wise, or when you started using bailey as a personal therapist, but you were so proud of her.

“i feel like i’m expected to,” you told her, “i don’t want this to end yet,”.

“me either,” she whispered. you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. you pulled it out to see a text from jamie.

text: how should we spend our last day together?

you huffed, turning your phone around to show bailey. she read over the message as you spoke, “how do i even respond to that?”.

“mm, i don’t know. what do you want to do?” she asked. 

“i’m honestly not even sure” you held your breath for a few seconds before sighing out “.. i’m gonna miss him a lot”

“hey,” bailey looked down at you, still holding your hand. “just because we’re not filming anymore doesn’t mean we aren’t all going to be friends forever. i don’t think anyone could take you away from jamie, you two are like inseparable” she laughed with an eyeroll, “you two not seeing each other every day is going to change that”.

“i guess” you nodded.

“it’s not an i guess” she said, “you two are special”.

“i like him so much” you whispered to her. 

“i know” she nodded. “why don’t you just tell him?” she shrugged, like it was nothing. as if the weight of your entire friendship with him didn’t hang in the balance.

“i can’t do that” you shook your head quickly. “we live in different countries, we’ll work different schedules, we have such a good friendship.. and i don’t want to lose that” you admitted.

“he would never let that happen” she smiled, “and neither would you”.

“jack, stop screaming!! we’re gonna get caught!” bailey shouted over at him. jamie laughed as he pulled you into his arms, your head rested in the crook of his arm. you watched as britain passed the ball off to bailey, to bounces it over to jack.

“dunk it, you got it” britain calls.

“and he goes for the lay-up!” filip has jamie’s camera in hand, filming jamie’s last night with you all. jack jumps and tries to bounce the ball from the backboard into the ring, but misses.

“i said dunk it dude” britain stood with his arms out, an almost offended look on his face.

“what are you gonna do when you get back home?” you asked, looking up at jamie. he watches his friends for a little bit longer before looking down at you. you looked so pretty, he thought.

“i’ve got a few weeks before i start filming forgotten battle” he told you, “just see some friends, catch up on everything i’ve missed”.

“i bet your friends miss you” you smiled softly.

“and yours don’t?” he chuckled.

“they tell me they do, but they look alright without me.. happy” you let another rampant thought slip out. it just happened when you were with jamie, you knew you were safe from judgement or anything else.

“it’s weird, watching everything go on back home isn’t it?” he agreed with you.

“a little” you nodded.

“are you gonna be okay going back home?” he had been meaning to ask you for the last few weeks, but in the chaos of everything he never found the right opportunity to ask you.

“yeah.. i think so” you nodded, trying not to think about having to go back home to your parents. “it will be different being back home again. take some time to get used to it” you nodded, almost trying to convince yourself that you were telling the truth. “i’m just gonna keep auditioning until i find something else” that would be your way out.

“well hopefully you ace the audition on monday” he smiled, already knowing you would. he had been lucky enough to see you during an audition process in the flesh. he knows you’re great in the audition room.

“hopefully” you chuckle.

“britain, pass!” jack called, ready to go for another lay-up.

“are you two gonna play? or just mope?” filip turned around, getting a zoomed-in shot of you laying with your head on jamie’s shoulder.

“you wanna?” he asked. part of you wanted to just say no and stay in this little bubble with just you and jamie, but you knew you couldn’t. you had to drink it up whilst you could, next week you would be back home and your friends would be back to their normal lives.

“yeah, sure” you nodded, getting up. “better make the most of it” you helped jamie up from the floor. filip came over and passed the camera to jamie, before running off and stealing the ball from jack.

“oh filip’s just dashed it” jamie laughed following him.

“i like running!” filip said looking straight into the camera. 

“to me!” you called running over toward the ring, “i want it,”.

“she’s feelin’ it!” jamie called filming you, “she wants it!!”.

“oh!” britain called as you stepped back and shot the ball straight into the ring with a swish.

“let’s go!” filip called.

“i’m just that good!” you held your arms out, a smug look on your face. “watch me dunk it” jack bounced the ball back over to you. “agh, wait” you jumped, but to no avail, there was no way you were making that.

“wait, wait-“ jamie passed his camera off to bailey before jogging over to you. she zoomed in as jamie put his hands on your waist to lift you up to the ring. “brace yourself” he said as he lifted you. you almost forgot to even try to put the ball in the ring, too caught up with the feeling of jamie’s hands gripping your waist tightly.

“go, go, go!” jamie called from underneath you. you broke out of your haze and were able to just reach the ring and put the ball through the hoop.

“yes!!” filip called.

“she was flying” bailey commentated behind the camera. “it was beautiful” she smiled. she turned the camera around to face herself, forgetting about the zoomed in frame- oblivious to the fact that it was only getting her lips as she spoke. “that’s cinema guys” she nodded.

jamie came over and grabbed the camera back from bailey, letting out a small thank you. he reset the frame and started to film you. “say goodbye to the camera” he said.

“say goodbye?” you asked, your eyebrows raised.

“yeah” he nodded.

“goodbye camera” you waved, coming closer to the lens. “i’m gonna miss you a lot” you said before blowing it multiple kisses.

“it’s gonna miss you too” jamie said, before switching it off for the night.

“well, that’s it then” you and jamie stood at your hotel room door. the hallway was empty, it being so late you assumed everyone was probably asleep.

“this is it” jamie nodded, his hands in his pockets, suddenly shy in front of you. he hadn’t felt this small in front of you since the first day you met, but knowing the intimacy of the situation, he had reverted back into his shell. “good luck with your audition” he said, rocking on the balls of his feet nervously.

“i’ll need it,” you laughed softly, pushing your head out of your face.

“no” he shook his head, “you won’t”.

the silence was beginning to engulf you both, and you would be damned if you let it ruin your last moments with jamie.“i’m gonna miss you” you said softly.

“c’mere” jamie swallowed the lump in his throat before pulling you into his embrace. he held you tightly and close to himself. he could smell your shampoo as he rested his head against yours.

“i love you lots” you whispered. jamie could hear that you had started to cry, which only made him more emotional. 

“i love you lots as well” he said, trying to hold back his tears.

“don’t forget about me?” you asked, your face buried in jamie’s jacket.

“i could never” he chuckled, you could hear his smile. “come to london, yeah?” he looked down at you, pulling away slightly.

you met his gaze with your big eyes. he gently wiped the tears off of your cheeks. “eventually,” you nodded.

“promise?” he asked.

“i promise” you nodded. you sniffled before reaching into your jacket pocket, “i got you something” you said. pulling out a small box from your pocket.

“what?” jamie was taken aback as you passed it to him.

“like a goodbye for now present” you shrugged. jamie opened the small box to find a silver ring sitting inside. it was beautiful, even more so because it came from you. “i saw it at that markets bailey and i went to, it made me think of you” you said, wiping your tears again.

“y/n” he let out a sad laugh as his first tears fell. he brought you into him embrace again and held you closer than he ever thought possible. “thank you, i love it” he whispered you’re your hair, “thank you”.

when you pulled away, jamie was looking down at you with a face you hadn’t seen from him before. “why are you looking at me like that?” you chuckled.

“just, because..” he shook his head. because i’m in love with you, he thought. “thank you for everything. this entire experience has been crazy, and i feel so incredibly blessed to have met you and to have done it all with you”

“thank you jamie” you grabbed his face with your hands and he wouldn’t be lying if he had hope you were going to kiss him. “for everything” you just nodded though, taking in the moment. “i’m gonna miss you” you whispered.

“i’m gonna miss you too” he said softly.

“i better go” you slowly let go of him and offered a sad smile.

“you’ve got an early call time” he nodded.

“you’ve got an early flight” you shot back, “be safe” you said before getting out your room card.

“course,” jamie nodded. “text me?” he asked.

“yeah,” you whispered with a nod. your hotel door opened and you started to walk inside, but not before turning back to look at jamie once more.

“g’night, y/n” he said. kiss her, kiss her now.

“night jamie” you whispered. but he didn’t kiss you. he just let you go back inside, and was left to regret it for the next year until he saw you again.

finally back! thank you so much for your patience, support and love. without that I wouldn't have come back. I'm really proud of this one, let me know your thoughts. sending so much love!

[actual-changeling]

We need to talk about the Archangel Michael.

No, seriously we NEED to talk about Michael because I think she's going to be way more important than we currently think.

(quick side note: I will be jumping between pronouns for everyone involved because I go by vibes and also bc I'm trans and I like doing it. Hopefully it won't be too confusing, but I'll try to make it clear who I am talking about.)

So! Welcome back to Alex's unhinged meta corner. In accordance with the usual essay rules, let's begin with my hypothesis before we go down a long, probably very unhinged spiral.

I completely underestimated how thorough I was going to be, so to not overwhelm everyone with a miles long post, I will be dividing this meta into parts and will post them as I finish them.

A lot of small details have been fluttering around my mind over the last few weeks, and I think I am finally starting to put all the pieces together—and there are a LOT.

Part 1: Season One and Michael's Rank

We know them as one of the three (four—but that's another post) Archangels next to Gabriel and Uriel. While Gabriel's title was that of the Supreme Archangel, Michael's is explicitly stated in episode one of season two as 'duty officer', which, broadly speaking, makes them the Watcher, the one in charge in the case of Gabriel's absence for whatever reason, taking command where he can't; usually that probably meant him simply being busy and not him being unemployed and naked.

Their position is further signified by their ring, which resembles the Ophanim, the many-eyed angel wheels.

They are the one to keep a literal eye on things—they find pictures of Aziraphale and Crowley in S1 in the Observation Files, they watch over the heavenly hosts, they oversee plans, everything.

Michael even takes it a step further and (presumably created) the grapevine with hell, having direct contact to higher ranking demons such as Ligur, most likely also Dagon, and Beelzebub.

This is where we get to my theory: Michael is actively working with demons against both heaven and hell. It doesn't mean that they care about preserving earth, though they might later on, but that whatever plans heaven currently has are to be stopped.

I'm going to take this one step further and say that Michael also knew about Gabriel and Beelzebub, and helped him escape.

Now to the fun part: the evidence!

In season one, they are interested in stopping Crowley and Aziraphale from preventing the apocalypse, but that does not mean that they agree with the plans heaven has for said event—only that they need it to happen so their own agenda can stay on track. She has information she technically shouldn't, like, well, literally all the details about how, when, and what is going to go down

This is due to heaven and hell's general cooperation, which is its own post, but all of that runs through them.

That 'apparently' is doing a lot of heavy lifting here, it's the basic and plausible deniability that's required for them to not be in trouble. She is also in charge of ORGANIZING the troops, fulfilling her role as a navigator.

On top of that, the way she talks to Ligur highly mirrors the way two covert operatives might talk to one another, using phrases like 'our man' and 'working for you'. The mere assumption Michael makes here, that Aziraphale could be a spy, implies that there ARE already spies and angels working for hell.

Consorting with the enemy is allowed as long as it is done within a very specific framework, so Michael and Ligur are free to do so, while Aziraphale and Crowley are working outside of it, which gives heaven & hell the basis to punish them for it.

I think the phrasing of this sentence is also quite interesting.

Not "time to come back to heaven" or anything along the lines that takes Aziraphale's ethereal status into account, no, she simply says he needs to 'choose sides'—and who is to say that he needs to choose heaven or that heaven and hell are the only sides one can choose? Additionally, Michael is the one to bring the holy water to hell while they send one of the Erics, and while the trial as a whole holds a certain tension, there does not seem to be any open animosity between him and the dukes of hell.

In short, Michael is working with hell behind the scenes, likely pursuing their own goals, and standing in opposition to heaven.

Moving on to season two, and here it gets REALLY fun.

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

(hopefully it will just be five. it was supposed to be two. then three. but here we are)

[scholastic-dragon]

I'm almost a month late to this but it doesn't matter cause I'm here now!! The All 4- 1 challenge - April Edition, and no not O'Neil I mean the month!

This is basically the scene from How I met your mother but with the turtles, but it's hilarious so I'm writing it anyway.

Leo x Fem!reader

Sharing isn't always Caring

You weren't sure what you walked in on.

On any given day it was a toss up: either the boys would be happily getting along, or at each other's throats.

Today, when you walked into the lair, arms full with bags of sandwiches for lunch, you heard very harsh voices.

"Hey! Lunch is here!" You called, kicking off your shoes and putting on your slippers.

Mikey and Donnie slinked out of Raphs room, awkward looks on their faces.

"Sssshhh!" Mikey whisper yelled at you. Both of them silently moving toward you.

"What happened? Did another fight break out?" You whisper, handing the bag to Mikey, looking up at Donnie.

"Not exactly, Raph stayed home last night from patrol cause he wasn't feeling well, but apparently-"

"Apparently, his girlfriend stayed the night! In his room!" Mikey cut in, digging through the bag for his sandwich. Donnie smacked him upside the head.

You gasped softly. If there was one rule Master Splinter had set over the last year, UT was there were absolutely no sleepovers in the same room with girlfriends. (He deemed he was too young to be a grandfather.)

You had spent the night several times but you or leo were forced to sleep in the living room.

"So, Leo flipped out?" You filled in, chewing on your lip.

Donnie and Mikey both made faces. Donnie sucking in his lips and Mikey mimicking a boom explosion.

"Leo and dad flipped out. Leo's in there right now ripping him a new asshole, in fact, its probably good you're here, maybe get him to stop yelling," Donnie sighed, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, I'll go get him," weaving past them, you approach Raphs door. You could clearly hear Leo's angry-lecturing voice through the thick door.

Pushing the door open, you see Raph sitting on the end of this bed, looking at the floor with Leo pacing in front of him.

"It's just reckless! Not to mention, you bailed on the team! You can't do that, Raph!" Leo yelled.

"Hey," You say, knocking on the doorframe. "Lunch is here," your voice is soft, diffusing the argument and easing the tension.

Leo sighed. "Right, let's take a breather, have some food, then we'll talk later," He walked out of the room, sighing heavily once he crossed the threshold.

Raph looked up at you, nodding and smiling. A silent "Thank you" that you were used to.

Smiling and nodding, you turn around and head to the kitchen. The other three are sat at the dining table, devouring their sandwiches.

Leo smiled as you sat down, sliding a palte toward you.

Raph emerged a few minutes later, sitting down next to Mikey and eating.

Because you interrupted their argument, the air was a bit tense, but after asking Mikey what he thought of his newest video game, the tension lifted.

Donnie and Mikey spoke too fast to comprehend anything, but you laughed and nodded along anyway. Leo joined the conversation, having seen Mikey playing a few times in the living room.

Then Raph added his two cents, and suddenly all four brothers were laughing and bantering with each other like nothing had happened.

Once all the food was gone, Donnie and Mikey sprinted to the living room to play their new game, while Raph had dish duty.

You stopped just outside the doorway, wanting to give them space but also monitor just in case.

Leo walked up to the sink, handing Raph the dish. "I'm sorry I yelled, I didn't sleep well last night and just felt on edge."

Raph seemed shocked by the quick apology, but shook his head, taking the dish. "Yeah, I shouldn't have lied, but we hadn't seen each other for over a week and she had a real shit day,"

"It was either be a good brother or a good boyfriend," Leo filled in with a smile, crossing his arms and leaning up against the counter.

Raph gave a dry chuckle. "You got that right,"

"Yeah, I'm familiar with that,"

"Oh yeah, sure ya are," Raph sassed, putting soap on the dishcloth and scrubing away at some pots. "Mr. Honor Boy himself struggling to be a good boyfriend,"

"It's true! We had a fight just this past week!"

"Oh yeah? What about?"

Leo fought hard to stop from laughing, as did you. "I have a drawer at her apartment and she didn't like that I kept some ninja stars and throwing knives in there,"

Raph chuckled, rising off a pan and putting it on the drying rack. "How'd that end?"

"Well, we started to laugh because she realized that I kept weapons at her apartment but not my toothbrush,"

They both chuckled, then Raph squared his shoulders, looking over at his brother. "Yeah, you do,"

"Hmm?" Leo mumbled.

"You keep your toothbrush there," raph insisted.

"No, I don't, I keep it in the hall bath,"

Raph put the cloth down, turning to face his brother. "No, I keep my toothbrush in the hall bath,"

"Oh no," You mumble, putting your hand over your mouth to stop from laughing.

Mikey and Donnie approached the doorway, wanting to get some sodas for the game, stopping just behind you.

"What's going on?" Mikey asked, smiling at your redding face.

"Just listen," You choked out.

"Raph, what are you talking about?" Leo's eyes narrowed.

"You don't keep your toothbrush in the hall bath, Leo, I do,"

Leo's face fell. "What color is it?"

"Gray and green," they both went pale, shaking their heads.

"Oh my god," Mikey bit his fist to keep from laughing.

"Have we-" Leo looked ready to gag. "Have we been sharing a toothbrush?!"

Mikey and Donnie lost it, laughing uproariously, Donnie bent in half with tears in his eyes.

"Oh this is great!" Mikey yelled, clapping his hands. "I don't think this can get better,"

"Wait," You gasp, Leo and Raph glance at you. "I sometimes use that toothbrush,"

"Oh, God, so goes my girl!"

Mikey made a disgusted noise. "Ew! That means you guys have indirectly made out with each others girls!"

"I can't...can't deal with this today," Leo put his hands up, walking swiftly out of the room, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

From then on, Leo kept a blue toothbrush with a large "L" drawn on the side in your apartment.

tags: @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @happymoonangel @sketchy-loo6195 @m1dnyt3-w0lf @leosgirl82 @dilucsflame33 @eveandtheturtles @pheradream-15 @sewerninno

[andreafmn]

Collision | Chapter 18

Word Count: 3.2K Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same. Chapter: 18/? Warnings: steamy scenes and foul language A/N: One day I'll manage both Twilight fics in a day, but today is not the day 😬😬 but hey, this is my longest story as of now, so hopefully if my creativity sparks I can consistently publish chapters like this story My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts  or buy me a coffee to support me and my love of writing Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • BusinessIf you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click hereMake sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! Please check if you're tagged in the story, I've reached the limit of tags on Twilight again it seems. 😅

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“Paul,” (Y/N)’s voice broke him out of his trance. She had started to slip on one of Paul’s many forgotten T-shirts, stretching her limbs after their latest encounter.  “You’re staring.”

“Oh, sorry,” he chuckled softly. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine,” she smiled. “I sometimes forget they’re there.”

It had been five months since she had been hurt, four months since they had left, three since she had decided to dig herself out of the hole she had fallen into and put her life back on track. And she couldn’t look back –at least not without feeling her heart wrench inside her chest.

(Y/N) had made the decision to move forward in her life, to allow herself to release her past and unbind herself from the Cullens. She had allowed herself to be her first priority –even if meant that she had to release some people she thought the world of. But she had to push forward. Staying stuck in the mud was the last thing she wanted.

Instead, she had spent the past two months and a half investing her time between med school, her entanglement with Paul, the people at the rez, and her work at the hospital. And it had been just the shift (Y/N) had needed.

“I can’t believe I was the one that did this,” Paul whispered as he joined her side. His fingers traced the rough skin of her scars, an electric shiver running through his veins. A few months before, the three ragged lines that ran down her arm had not been there. And in a split second, he’d changed her for life. “I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I wish I could take that night back.”

“I don’t blame you, Paul,” she breathed. Shudders ran through her body as he kissed her shoulder, his warmth still something she had yet gotten used to. “I should have listened to my brother and step away.”

“But if I had been able to control myself I wouldn’t have scratched you,” he said, his hand running up and down her arm. “I should have been able to protect you. Protect you from myself.”

 “It was no one’s fault, Paul,” she sighed at his touch, a teasing smile spreading across her face after. “And I’ve heard scars make people hot.”

“You were already hot,” he grinned. “Scars just added to it.”

“Okay, cool it, Casanova,” she chuckled. “I can’t go for a round three. I’ve got studying to do.”

“You and I both know that studying for you is a formality,” he groaned. “You’ve been axing all your tests. You already passed Step 1, and in a couple of weeks you’ll be in your clinical rotations.”

“I still need to study, Paul. I’ve gotta make sure all the information is fresh in my brain,” she explained. “And, still, it’s almost time for your patrol shift. So, you don’t have time for anything else either.”

“The bloodsuckers are gone,” he said before kissing her neck. “What is there to patrol?”

“Probably the people of this reservation,” she breathed, trying her hardest to suppress the moan that wanted to escape. But it was as futile as denying him. “But, maybe we can go for one more round.”

Paul could simply laugh in response and take her lips on his. His hands snaked to the small of her back, pulling her body until his legs reached her bed. (Y/N) grinned at him as he buckled against the mattress and used his surprise to push him onto the bed. He forcefully sat down, spreading his legs to allow (Y/N) a space between them. But she seemed to have another idea.

The Uley girl closed his legs together before placing her knees at either side of his thighs, straddling his lap. She placed her hands on his cheeks before kissing him again, telling him she was just as hungry for him as he was for her. (Y/N) would have never admitted it out loud, but Paul knew his way around a woman’s body —not that she had mi b to compare it to. Still, she would never say it to him, afraid that he would think it would lead to something else.

Almost every week she would check in with Paul to make sure they were still on the same page regarding their relationship, or rather lack thereof. The last thing she wanted was to lead him on and she had told him so over and over again. But every single time he would tell her that he understood what they were and what they would never be. That he could separate his feelings from his urges, and that at some point she would have to believe him.

Even with her doubts, she pushed on. She couldn’t deny that she loved the convenience of having him just a couple of houses down and the fact that he was all for their… benefits. Things just seemed to be working out perfectly for her, and she continually overthought her way into thinking that the universe would mess everything up.

Still, instead of dwelling on what could happen in the future, she had started to enjoy things as they happened in the moment. And at that very instant, (Y/N) had started to deepen the kiss between her and Paul. Her hands ran through his short hair, gripping and pulling softly at the dark brown strands. At the same time and unconsciously, her lower half started grinding onto his lap, searching for that much-wanted friction.

Paul’s hand had made a home on her backside, cupping the soft skin that peeked out of her underwear and moving with her motions. Even if he loved being the one to lead in the bedroom, he couldn’t say that was the dynamic with (Y/N). She held all the power in her hands, there and in their personal life. And for the time being, he seemed to enjoy it. Mostly because it was (Y/N).

As the man’s hands finally decided to move and try to remove the shirt that dangled from (Y/N)’s neck, a knock resounded through the house. At first, they ignored it, continuing their exploration of each other’s bodies. But whoever was at the door did not relent, knocking once more and harder the second time.

“Just ignore them,” he groaned against her neck. “They’ll get the hint soon enough.”

“It’ll only take a second,” she chuckled, pushing him away from her body. “I’ll see who it is, okay? You can go eat something in the meantime.”

“Ugh, fine.”

(Y/N) lowered the shirt onto her body, the massive size drowning her inside, and slipped on a pair of sweatpants. In the meantime, Paul did the same, adjusting the ignored hard-on that would tent his pants. It made the girl laugh as she noted the discomfort on his face that was quite evidently laced with annoyance.

“Don’t worry, Paul. It’ll go down soon enough.”

“That’s not funny, (Y/N),” he grumbled. “I was promised something else.”

“I promised nothing,” she laughed, coming down the last steps of her staircase. “And you’ll be fine in a couple of minutes. It’s not like you haven’t gone months without sex.”

“You think you’re funny, huh?”

“Oh, I know I am,” she smiled. “Now go away.”

(Y/N) opened the door and was surprised by the person standing on the other side. The Forks sheriff was nervously pacing back and forth on her porch. She could see the darkened bags under his eyes and his hair was slightly disheveled. Instantly she knew why he was there.

“Sheriff Swan, what can I help you with?”

“Oh, hello, (Y/N),” Charlie breathed out. “How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you,” she offered him a smile. “How have you been?”

“Well, I’ll be honest, I’m feeling a bit defeated at the moment,” he sighed. “That’s actually the reason why I’m here. It’s Bella.”

“Is she okay?”

“Physically, sure. But ever since her boyfriend and his family moved away she’s been the living dead,”  the man explained. She could tell how tired he was, tired of being the only one that cared for her well-being —to care for the both of them. “I’m not one to gossip but I know you also went through something a few months back when the Cullens left. Yet, you were able to move on, and look at you now.”

“I can’t say it was easy, but I was lucky enough to have a lot of people rally behind me,” she chuckled slightly. “Still, I’m not sure how I could help you with her.”

“I was wondering if you could talk to her. Something tells me you’re the one who will understand what she’s going through the most and you’re honestly my last resort before I send her back to Florida with her mom.”

“Well then, thankfully I have a free day tomorrow and I can come over,” (Y/N) offered. “I’ll do what I can, Sheriff. I honestly didn’t know she was that bad.”

“I’ve tried my best to help her these past few months, but I don’t know what else to do.”

“No worries, Sheriff. We’ll get her out of this rut soon enough.”

“Thank you, (Y/N). I truly hope there’s something we can do,” he smiled weakly. “And, come on, what’s this sheriff business? You know you can call me Charlie.”

“Alright then, Charlie,” she chuckled. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow,” he offered her another smile, this time a slight hint of hope painting across his lips. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“Thank me once I’ve done something, Charlie,” (Y/N) said with a laugh. “But I promise to try my best.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good rest of your day, (Y/N).”

“You too, Charlie.”

The girl waited until the cruiser disappeared down her road before she closed the door, a rush of guilt washing over her. She knew she hadn’t been alone in her heartbreak, that there was someone else that had tasted the Cullen drug and had been ripped away from the supply in the blink of an eye. (Y/N) had somehow forgotten that Bella had also had her heart ripped from her chest, and it seemed like she had been taking it harder than she ever had.

“What did the sheriff want?” Paul called from the kitchen, holding a plate with a sandwich.

“As if you couldn’t hear,” she chuckled. “Did you know it was that bad with Bella?”

“I’d heard whispers that she wasn’t doing good,” he shrugged. “But, honestly, my focus was on someone else. If I have to pick between one leech lover or another, I’m always picking you.”

“That’s not funny, Paul,” (Y/N) sighed, reprimanding her friend with her gaze. “It looks like she’s taking this really hard. Has Sam not gone over to check up on her? I mean, he is the one that found her that night.”

“(Y/N), we were more worried about you,” he responded sternly. “You took this hard as well. Need I remind you of your brief visit into alcoholism? Bella Swan has other people to worry about her. We needed you to be okay.”

(Y/N) remained quiet for a second. She knew if it hadn’t been for Paul and Sam, she would probably still be stuck in the overconsuming darkness of her loneliness. She had done things that she never thought she would do, she said things she never thought she would say, and she had felt the most gut-wrenching pain she had ever believed she would feel.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I know I sent you guys through hell with how I was acting a few months back.”

“Hey, hey,” he called her attention, placing a hand under her chin before wiping away a few stray tears. Paul wrapped his arms around her, letting her head rest on his chest. “You were heartbroken, (Y/N). It’d be weird if you had been fine with it.”

“Still, you guys had to witness me at my absolute worst. You more than others. I wasn’t a good person during that time.”

“Sadness and loneliness make you do crazy things, (Y/N). None of us blames you for how you were acting during that time,” he told her. His voice rumbled through her chest and sent her calming vibrations. “We will always be by your side, no matter what. We love you and care about you. And we’re just glad you’re better now.”

“I’m glad I’m better now too,” she smiled against his chest. “And I wanna help Bella get better too. If the way she’s feeling is even an ounce of the way I felt, she shouldn’t go through this by herself.”

“Want me to drive you tomorrow?”

“No,” she sighed. “I think this is something I should do by myself. Bringing someone that is so against her ex might not be the best thing.”

“She doesn’t know what I am though. At least she shouldn’t know.”

“Because of the pact.”

“Yeah,” he responded. “We can’t say what the Cullens are and they can’t say what we are. So Bella shouldn’t know why I hate them so much. She probably thinks I’m just like every other person of the rez that dislikes the Cullen because of our ancestors.”

“Still, I think I should go by myself for now,” she smiled up at him. “The last thing she needs is to meet someone new.”

“Fine,” he smiled back before it morphed into the Cheshire Cat grin. “What’re you doing the rest of the afternoon then?”

“I still need to study, and Emily invited me over for dinner tonight.”

“What you’re saying is that you have like an hour to spare?”

“I don’t think that’s what I said, Paul,” she chuckled. “But I guess I do have some time to spare —more like thirty minutes though.”

“More than enough,” he smirked.

He placed his hands under her thighs, prompting her to jump onto his waist and wrap her legs around him. She kissed his lips softly, running her hands through his hair. (Y/N) held on tight as Paul moved them back upstairs and to her bedroom. 

Once back inside the now white walls of her room, he lay her softly onto her bed, his lips never leaving hers. He kissed her hungrily, not wanting to waste a single moment he was with her. He kissed her cheek, he kissed her temple, he kissed her chin, and he kissed her neck. It was one of his favorite things. To taste every inch of her skin for as long as she allowed him to.

“What are you doing for Valentine's?” Paul asked abruptly, the question coming out of nowhere. “There’s gonna be a bonfire that night. It’s mostly for couples but we can go as friends.”

“Great timing for that question, Paul,” she panted. “And I don’t know. That’s over a month from now. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m gonna be studying.”

“So do you wanna go if you’re free?”

(Y/N) wasn’t sure. Thanksgiving had passed, so had Christmas and New Year. She had gone through three big holidays that she had pictured spending with him, and there were still so many more that she would have to experience with other people when she only wanted to spend it with him. As much as she had chosen to move on and try her hardest to forget him, it still hurt.

Every day that passed hurt. Every second that passed hurt. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, her heart still wanted him and only him. But it was something she could not admit. Not to her mother, to her brother, much less to Paul. She said she was okay, she looked like she was okay, and she needed herself to be okay.

“I don’t wanna make a compromise like that when I don’t know what my schedule is gonna look like,” she sighed. “But ask me again on the seventh and I’ll let you know.”

“Fine,” he groaned jokingly.

“Now, can we talk about comparing schedules later and go back to kissing?”

“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he smirked before going back to attack her lips.

As they were getting back into the game of bodies, ripping away their clothes and reveling in the other’s body, a shout from outside interrupted them. At first, they chose to ignore it, thinking it was teenagers having fun in the street. But the clear mention of Paul’s name startled them apart. It was a voice that was usually very quiet and had just recently joined the pack.

“Yo, Paul!” Embry Call yelled from (Y/N)’s backyard. “We’re supposed to be on patrol right now!”

“Gods, what fucking timing!” Paul groaned. “I hate how eager he is to follow the rules. Like, does he not know there’s no active threat right now?”

“He’s just trying to make sense of all of this the best way he knows how,” (Y/N) explained. “He’s keeping his head down and doing what he’s told. Just being able to shift is a big shock, but finding out that your father is someone from the reservation is world-shattering. The poor kid is also getting smoke at home from his mom, and he can’t ask questions because he would have no proof of where he got them.”

“You’re actually making me feel bad for him.”

“You should. Right now, he’s not only lost his friends but he’s had his whole life turned upside down. What he needs more than anything is someone to guide him and be by his side.” 

“Don’t look at me,” Paul scoffed. “That’s the alpha’s job.”

“I’m just asking that you don’t make his life harder than it already is,” she smiled at him. “He needs a friend, not someone to kick him when he’s already down.”

“Fine,” he conceded. “That kid is lucky you’re on his side.”

“Shut up and get dressed,” she laughed. “Don’t leave Embry waiting.”

Paul grumbled under his breath as he slipped on every piece of clothing he needed to get dressed in. As he complained and groaned, (Y/N) moved to the window, wanting to give Embry at least a heads up that Paul would take his time with going downstairs.

“Hey, Embry,” she called out. “Paul will be down in a sec, he’s too busy complaining at the moment.”

“Oh, hi, (Y/N),” he said as he blushed. “That’s okay. Sorry I showed up like this. Jared said that if Paul wasn’t at Sam’s that he was most likely here.”

“He is correct about that.”

“And don’t worry, I’ve been practicing suppressing my thoughts so that Sam doesn’t find out.”

“No worries, Embry,” she chuckled. “I know that Sam will eventually find out. So, it’s fine.”

“Oh, but still. It’s good practice.”

“I’m leaving now,” Paul interrupted, a definite scowl on his face. “As much as I don’t want to.”

“Well, I was saved by the bell,” she grinned teasingly. “Now I have more time to study. So, you can go.”

“Ugh, twist my arm why don’t you.”

“Go, Paul,” she chuckled.

“Fine,” he said before kissing her lips softly. “But I’ll see you later for dinner, right?” 

“Yes, Paul. You’ll see me later.”

Next ->

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...continued in comment section

[hide-in-imagination]

Cruel Summer | Simbar Fic

-*Simón and Ámbar spent the summer in Cancún after the Roda Fest— That much is known. What no one knows is what happened during that summer.

This is a could've been. A glimpse into a moment lost in time.*-

------------------

New year, new multichapter! Hello, everyone. This is a project I've been working on for about three years now and I've finally decided to share it. It'll be four or five chapters, they're already drafted and halfway done, so I'll be posting this story along with Roads That Cross whenever I have the time. I'm hoping I can post all of it by the end of this year, 2023. Fingers crossed! Without further ado, I leave you with chapter 1. Hope you like it. — ☾

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1. Fever dream high in the quiet of the night…

The sea breeze was hitting Simón's face as he walked down the beach. The sun had set recently, turning the clear, turquoise color of the water in Cancún into a dark blue. It was probably time he returned home, he thought. But the salty scent, the softness of the sand under his feet; all of it was like a part of him and it made him feel whole.

He needed that feeling.

He had lost count of the number of times he had volunteered to take the dog out for a walk these past days just so he could breathe in the sea. It was nice, but it always ended the same way.

With a sigh, Simón rubbed the sand off his feet and put on the shoes he had been carrying in his hands. Staying here until late wasn't going to help. If it could, it would've done so by now.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts and gave one last long look at the waves, willing their sound to drown his thoughts. He was turning around to leave when he caught sight of something. No, not something— Someone.

The skip of his heart wasn't something he could help or control. It had followed him around all summer, every time she was even mentioned, every time some seller by the coast offered handcrafted jewelry made of the semi-precious stone.

Ámbar.

Seeing her was a rare occurrence these days, and so much worse than just having to deal with the memories in his mind. She was walking in his direction, her gaze down, focused on how the breaking waves skirted close to her sandals and then retreated, never touching. Much of her skin was bare, covered only by a bikini as black as the night sky and short denim shorts. Her blond hair was loose and fluttering wildly from the wind. Her hand reached up to move it out of her face, and Simón remembered when it was him who did that.

That was then. Now was now.

When she saw him, she stopped in her tracks, clearly as taken aback as him. They looked at each other for a moment, then she turned to face the sea, her back straight, chin high. Her whole posture sent the message to just ignore her and keep going on his way.

Simón wanted to do just that ever since the moment he caught a glimpse of her. After all, they had managed to avoid each other for weeks now— They could keep doing it. But something pushed him to come closer instead. Maybe the exact same part of him that wanted to flee.

When he stood next to her, she made no sign of sensing his presence. He watched her profile, her gaze stubbornly fixed on the horizon.

"You shouldn't be here alone this late."

His words were only met with stoic silence.

His eyes stared at her on their own accord. There was a lot of exposed skin he wasn't used to seeing; he tried to ignore that. What he could not ignore, however, were the goosebumps on her arms—And everywhere he looked, now that he was paying attention. Being in the tropic, Cancún was always warm, but in winter, at night, and right next to the sea breeze, the temperature was as low as it could be.

"You look cold," he told her, but got no response. "Do you want my hoodie?" He offered, bringing his hands to its open front to take it off.

"No," Ámbar spat.

It was the first word she had said to him in weeks.

Simón hesitated, seeing small shivers in her body. "But the wind is blowing strong and you're—"

"What the fuck do you care?"

Her snap made him startle. His chest hurt— A quick pain that just as quickly turned bitter. He shouldn't be surprised. This wasn't the Ámbar he'd spent afternoons skating and talking with. This wasn't the sweet person he thought he knew. And even if she was, even if any of it was real, it was all too wrapped up in lies and revenges and heartbreak for it to mean anything positive in his life.

God, what am I doing?

Simón clenched his jaw, smoothing his expression; he refused to keep looking like a fool. "You know what? You're right. Forget it."

He turned around, stomping through the sand in the direction of his house. He looked back after a moment, expecting to see her walking away as well, but she was still there, staring at the waves.

Who the hell cares. I try to be nice and she barks at me. Serves her right.

Simón kept walking. He could see some people far ahead walking along the beach too, apparently a family. He heard some loud voices and laughs to his right, coming from one of the shops on the sidewalk. It sounded like a group of guys, either drunk or getting there. He couldn't tell from this distance if they were locals or tourists.

He looked back again. Ámbar was still where he left her, except sitting on the sand now.

Her house is not that far, she can walk. Not a big deal.

He walked a little more. Stopped. Turned.

Ámbar was curled up in the sand, her legs up to her chin as she hugged them. Even from this far he could tell she was shaking.

Oh god freaking damn it.

-----------------------

One second Ámbar was looking at the waves touching the shore, and the next, she felt a material crash and drape over her right side, momentarily blinding her as some of it covered her face.

"You can throw it in the trash later if you hate it so much, but don't freeze to death."

By the time she pulled the fabric out of her eyes, confirming it was indeed Simón's pale yellow hoodie, he had already turned and was walking away to where he came from.

A fire, dark and feral, burned in Ámbar's chest. That was what he always did— Turn his back to her.

She crumpled the hoodie into a ball and threw it at him. It hit his back before falling to the sand.

"I don't want anything from you."

Simón turned around like a storm.

"Why are you being so damn difficult?" He exclaimed, picking up the spurned hoodie from the sand. "I'm trying to be nice here, even though I have no reason to be, and you still reject my help!"

Ámbar stood with her arms crossed in front of her chest, staring him down. A small, mirthless smile graced her lips. "Sorry, that's just how we people full of hate are. Nothing personal."

Simón felt a jab in his heart at hearing his words thrown back at him. Guilt, regret, sadness— All three hit him like a slap, but he squished the sensation. He was not the one who did things wrong. He was not the one who lied. He was not the one constantly looking for ways to hurt someone— Like she was doing right now, telling him this just to make him feel guilty, to make him feel even more miserable than he already was.

He rubbed a hand down his face.

"Just put it on, okay?" He asked her, extending her the hoodie.

"No. Leave me alone."

Simón took a deep breath.

"Ámbar, you're freezing, and you're barely wearing anything more than a swimsuit, at night, alone, in a foreign country," he stated pointedly, appealing to her good judgment. "The walk to your house is still many minutes long, and it doesn't look like you have any money on you or your phone to call a car— Which, by the way, is very irresponsible of you. Now, do you want to die of hypothermia just to prove a point, or are you going to take my hoodie and live to hate me another day?"

Ámbar looked at the hoodie for a moment. Then she turned her head toward the waves, her murmur barely audible over their sound.

"What if I rather freeze?"

Simón did a double take. She can't be serious.

"I'll put it on by force if I have to— Why are you being like this?!" He demanded, no longer able to contain his frustration.

"Why are you being like this?!" Ámbar volleyed back, bringing her fuming gaze back to him. "You don't care about me, you made it very clear that you hate me, so why are you insisting so much?"

"Maybe because I have a heart and I can't just see someone like this and do nothing?"

"I don't want your pity," she seethed.

Ámbar passed by him and began to walk towards the sidewalk. She had seen enough pity in the eyes of everyone in the last few days—

'We're sorry that Sharon lied to you like that.'

'Luna might be Sol, but you're still my granddaughter.'

—She didn't need any more of that; especially from him.

Deep down, she knew she was being unreasonable. That the mature thing to do would be to just accept the damn hoodie and carry on with her life. But she had this instinct— this need— to preserve the last shred of dignity she still had left. After the way the two of them had left things, Ámbar wanted him gone from her life, she wanted him as far from her as possible.

It wasn't that cold. She'd probably warm up if she jogged a little or something. She just had to get away from the sea breeze. From him. Very far from him until it didn't hurt anymore.

But no, of course he wouldn't give her that. She could hear his footsteps on the sand as he followed her, probably eager to deepen some wound, just as he had to go gloat in front of her after Luna won the Glass Skate.

And then people said she was the cruel one. That she was insensitive.

Fuck them and fuck him.

Simón tried to call out to Ámbar, but she kept walking away from him, acting as if she didn't hear him.

Just let her go, a part of him said. It's not your problem, you tried, if anything happens, it'll be her fault.

He couldn't. He couldn't let anything happen, he couldn't let her go.

"Ámbar, please! I—" Simón stopped and squeezed his eyes shut, cursing himself inside. "It's not pity, I'm just... an idiot."

Some steps ahead, Ámbar stopped in her tracks, gathering she hadn't heard that right. She turned slowly and looked at him with a frown.

"What?"

Simón seemed reluctant to meet her gaze, reluctant to even speak further, but he let out a sigh and did.

"I'm stupid. I really, really am because, you lied to me, you broke my heart— By all means, I should hate you, but... I still care about you."

Ámbar was sure this time around that she had heard him wrong. He couldn't really mean that. But the way he averted his gaze, as if embarrassed, said otherwise.

She was stunned.

"So, as you can see, I'm the biggest idiot on this planet," he said dejectedly. "Now, can you please just put the hoodie on?"

Simón extended his hand with his eyes lowered. He wanted to save himself the humiliation of seeing the smugness on her face after what he had just confessed. He hated himself for it. He hated to give her that satisfaction, but he couldn't help the way he felt, and he had given up trying. Simón had spent all these days in Cancún trying not to think about her and it hadn't worked. So, he had just accepted the fact that he was pathetic and carried on with his life.

Honestly, the whole current situation was pathetic. Ámbar was the one with the problem and yet, somehow, he was the one begging her to let him help.

He could almost hate her for it. Except, as he had already established, he wasn't capable of it.

If she rejected his help this time too though, that was it, he wasn't going to insist anymore. He had at least some pride and self-love left. He could maybe call Miguel or something to send a car here so he could make sure Ámbar would be okay without getting involved any further. In fact, that was probably what he should've done from the beginning instead of walking back here and following her around. Why was he even—

She took it. Ámbar took the hoodie.

Simón looked up.

Ámbar slid her arms inside the hoodie, feeling his eyes on her. She pulled the zipper up to her chin and dug her frozen hands into the pockets.

The first thing she noticed was the warmth. Her body sighed as the fabric enveloped her, automatically feeling better. The second thing she noticed was that it smelled like Simón. It was quite obvious it would, he had been wearing it, but somehow, having his scent envelop her after so long of not smelling it at all was as big a shock to her system as the warmth against her cold body.

"Thank you," she said, sinking as much as possible under the soft cotton. It was the least she could say, and the only thing she felt comfortable saying.

Simón observed her. The hoodie looked big on Ámbar, the sleeves drowning her hands and the length falling down to her thighs. It was just long enough to cover the shorts she was wearing, making it look as if she had nothing underneath.

His treacherous heart jumped against his ribcage. He shouldn't be looking at her that way. Seeing her in his clothes shouldn't please him so much.

Simón gulped and nodded slowly. "You're welcome."

Ámbar crossed her arms to hug herself against the cold, and the movement drew his attention to her chest. He turned away quickly.

"Come on, I'll walk you to your house," he said, and if his voice sounded a tiny bit different, lower than a moment ago, he counted on the sea sounds to cover it.

Simón was aware that he had changed rather drastically his original plan of just handing her the hoodie and then lettling her walk back alone, aware that he was setting himself up for a big chunk of awkwardness because of it, but after taking one good look of Ámbar, there was no way he could leave her alone. The hoodie was a solution for one problem but there was another. If his mind had wandered seeing her like this, he knew others' would too, and there was no way in hell he was going to let Ámbar walk alone at night for some depraved man to harass her or worse— Simón would rather die.

(He might die, if he later found out that something like that happened and he let it.)

"I don't wanna go there."

Ámbar's voice snapped him out of his grim thoughts. Halting in his step, Simón spun around to find that, true to her word, Ámbar hadn't moved from her previous spot on the beach.

He frowned at her reluctance. "Why not?"

She averted her gaze. "I just don't."

That wasn't an answer, but Simón guessed he had no right to push, so he just went along with it.

"Do you have anywhere else to stay?"

Ámbar considered it. "Emilia could take me in."

Simón's face contorted in disbelief. "Emilia? Are you really that close to that girl now?"

"No, but I prefer her."

Why?

Simón wanted to ask but he suspected Ámbar wouldn't answer. He didn't like the idea of Ámbar hanging out with that girl. Didn't like it at all.

But that doesn't concern you. Not anymore.

"Well, where does she live?" He asked instead, swallowing his unease.

Ámbar seemed to think about it. "I'm not sure," she admitted reluctantly. "I think I'd recognize the general area if I saw it, but I have no idea where that is."

"Well, do you know her number? We can call her from my phone," he offered.

"I don't know it by memory, I need my phone."

"Okay, and where's your phone?"

"...At the house."

Simón let out an exasperated sigh. "Let's go to your house then."

He started walking again, just as he had one minute ago. Thankfully, Ámbar didn't protest this time and just followed along, walking slightly behind him.

"Why did you leave all your stuff there anyway?" Simón asked after a moment. It wasn't only dangerous but also didn't sound like her at all.

"I kinda left in a hurry and forgot to grab my things," Ámbar replied. "I wasn't supposed to walk that far either, I just lost track of time."

Their footsteps on the sand filled the silence that followed, along with some faraway voices of people in the city.

"Why didn't you go back to get your things?" Simón asked next. "Why do you still don't want to go back? It's your house."

"Summer house."

"Same thing."

Ámbar didn't say anything. She kept staring ahead, avoiding Simón's gaze, and for a long minute, they just walked like that, in silence. She clearly didn't want to answer his questions. She refused to open up to him at all.

Simón couldn't blame her; he felt the same way. It was totally understandable after everything that had happened between them. And he should've been okay with that. He should've been able to just leave it alone.

But...

Simón stopped in front of Ámbar and turned to face her, forcing her to a halt.

"Okay." He offered her his hand. "Truce."

Ámbar looked at him confusedly.

"What?"

"I said 'Truce'. I forget for the rest of our walk how you lied to me, and you forget for the rest of our walk how mad you are at me. Deal?"

Ámbar stared at him and his outstretched hand long and hard. The expression on her face showed what both of them knew— That they couldn't forget, not really. What had transpired between them had left a mark on both of them that wasn't easy to ignore. She looked at him with apprehension, seemingly trying to figure out his angle, what his objective was, what he wanted to gain from a deal like this.

Simón wished there were anything to be gained. He wished that this idea was in any way or form good for him, that he had been strong enough to convince himself to stay away.

But he was worried. Unrest in his chest, knot in his gut worried. Against all his better judgment and the bitter part of him that claimed whatever was going on with her served her right— His need to do something about it was stronger.

He had already let that petty part of him win once, when he went to see her in the dressing room after the Roda Fest. He thought he'd feel better after that. He didn't. He thought if he did the complete opposite of comforting her, his first instinct upon seeing her downcast, before he remembered why she deserved to feel that way, he'd finally be able to drown that urge once and for all. Yank it out of his chest like weeds.

He couldn't.

Ámbar, faced with this nonsensical offer, wanted to laugh scornfully at Simón's face. You want me to forget how you told me to go fuck myself? She wanted to bark. You want me to forget how I humiliated myself for you, begging for you to stay, and you didn't care at all?

But he looked honest. He really seemed willing to push everything aside for a moment and Ámbar didn't understand why. If I hurt him so much, why is he doing this?

The truth of the matter was, even after everything, she never did understand him. She thought she did, but that illusion broke as easily and as fast as that dressing room's mirror, back at the Roda Fest.

With this truce he was basically asking her to trust him again, even if only for a short time. Could she do that? She didn't really want to. Scratch that— She definitely didn't want to. Last time had ended in disaster.

But if it meant that, for just some minutes, for just one moment, he would trust her again...

You're not the only one who's an idiot, Simón.

Slowly, Ámbar raised her hand to his.

"Well, since I'll have to put up with you anyway..." She said with detachment. She gave his hand the shortest of shakes, not wanting the touch to linger for too long. It would just be another thing she'd miss later if she let herself have it again.

With the deal made, the two of them resumed their walk. Simón spoke again in a gentle tone.

"Okay. Now, tell me, what's wrong with that house?" He asked her. His eyes were inviting as he looked at Ámbar. It was almost how he used to look at her before, when they were friends and he consoled her.

Were we ever just friends though?

Ámbar pushed the memories away. Nothing was as before anymore. It would never be like that again. All she could do was answer honestly. At least he deserved that much.

"There's nothing wrong with the house itself, it's the people in it."

Simón stopped short.

"If you're just going to complain about Luna, let me tell you right now that I won't—"

Ámbar rolled her eyes. "It's not just that!"

Great, they had lasted five seconds without fighting. Why did she think it would be any different?

"Not just that?" Simón volleyed back with indignation. "What has Luna even done to you?"

Ámbar raised her brows at him. "Do you want me to make a list?"

Simón tossed his hands up and started to walk again. "Enlighten me."

Ámbar put a finger up as she fell into step beside him. "First, she invaded my house."

"That was not her decision, she had to move with her parents," he countered quickly.

She put up a second finger. "Then, she invaded my school."

"Again, not her decision."

"Then, she stole my boyfriend."

"That—" Simón closed his mouth before starting again. "Matteo was the one who went after her."

Ámbar glared at him. "I'm quite aware of that fact, thank you for reminding me."

Simón winced. He could imagine it hadn't been nice to watch her boyfriend going after another girl. Matteo wasn't even subtle in his interest in Luna.

"It doesn't erase the fact that if she hadn't arrived, Matteo wouldn't have done that," Ámbar continued.

"Well, if anything, it shows the kind of person Matteo is, not Luna," Simón argued. "She only started dating him when you two had broken up for good."

"Yeah, yeah, she's a saint." Ámbar rolled her eyes and counted more. "She also invaded my rink, stole my spot on the team, brainwashed everyone so they would love her, invaded my stage—"

"Luna has loved rollerskating for as long as I've known her," Simón said. "Of course she was going to go to the Jam & Roller— that place was like paradise for her. And she needed a place like that if she was going to be in a completely different country with completely different people. It's not easy to just jump on a plane and start your life anew in a new place you've never known before, surrounded by strangers. So excuse her if she started making friends and participating in stuff. It was her way to fit in and get along with everyone. Otherwise, she would've been alone."

The bite in his voice gave Ámbar pause. Somehow, throughout his speech, she got the impression that Simón had stopped talking about just Luna. The tightness in his jaw, his shoulders, the way his eyes had focused on the road ahead instead of meeting her gaze... Yeah, this wasn't just about Luna.

Suddenly, it occurred to Ámbar that Simón had been pretty much in the same situation as Luna those few years ago. He had arrived in a new country and stayed at her house (albeit secretly), had started frequenting the Jam & Roller and joined her skating team... The only difference was that he hadn't enrolled in her school.

But while Luna had her parents, Simón didn't have anyone when he first came to Buenos Aires. Except Luna. Luna who chose Matteo.

Why hadn't she realized any of this before?

Because he never showed he was anything but alright.

Sure, everyone could see the kicked puppy eyes he threw Luna's way, but besides that heartbreak, Simón was always all smiles and excited energy.

Just how lonely had he been?

Simón turned his gaze back to Ámbar. Many seconds had passed and she still hadn't screamed at him to stop defending Luna or something of the sort as he had expected her to do. In fact, she wasn't saying anything. Their eyes met for an instant but she looked away quickly, setting her gaze on her feet as she remained quiet.

"What, that's it? That was your list?" He couldn't help but taunt her. Maybe it was bitter of him, but he was just so tired of Ámbar's bad blood with Luna, especially because Luna had never done anything to deserve it. Excluding the Matteo thing, all of Ámbar's reasons to hate her were so damn superficial Simón felt like shaking her. It was unfair and ridiculous.

"Or what are you gonna tell me now? That Luna made Tamara leave?" He said with irony when the silence continued. "That she brought Juliana to the Roller? She made winter colder? Made split ends appear in your hair?"

"She made my godmother leave."

Simón's feet came slowly to a stop. All humor and annoyance drained from him as he turned to watch her.

"Ámbar..."

"I know," she said, looking away. "You don't have to tell me."

She knew what her godmother had done was wrong and probably illegal. She didn't need to be reminded of that whole mess. She spent every day trying to forget how Sharon had left the country with barely a goodbye to her.

"Do you know where she is?" Simón asked after a pause, his tone gentle. It was mostly out of curiosity really, and because he could sense this was an important topic for Ámbar, a painful one.

"No," Ámbar replied. "She hasn't contacted me since. And even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you," she said curtly, her eyes fiery as they met his. "You would probably just run to tell the Valentes and they would call the cops on her to get her behind bars."

Simón swallowed the pang he felt in his chest seeing the distrust in her eyes. The spark of anger and the cloud of sorrow that followed it.

So this is what we've come to.

"Ámbar, I don't think they would do that," he replied, focusing on them instead of him, even when what he really wanted to say was that he wouldn't do that to her. She probably wouldn't believe him.

"No?" Ámbar questioned, raising her brows with apparent incredulity. "And what do you suppose they'd do? Sit down to have a nice quiet dinner with her and reminisce about old times?"

"Of course not," Simón replied, glaring slightly at her tone of irony. "What she did was wrong; she tried to keep Luna from finding out who she is, from reuniting with her grandfather and getting what's rightfully hers. But she's still family," he said. "I don't think Mr. Alfredo wishes her harm. I think he even misses her."

Ámbar snorted and averted her gaze. "No one in that house misses her."

Maybe Simón had gotten to know Ámbar more than he thought he had. Maybe she was just easy to read if you really tried at it. Because right then, just looking at her posture, at her crossed arms and the expression on her face, it was easy for him to know what she wasn't saying.

"You miss her. Don't you?"

Ámbar flinched and turned further away from him, facing the waves instead.

"I'm mad at her," she declared, her voice sharp and filled with resentment. "She lied to me. She told me I was Sol Benson, made me believe that, and then when everything came crashing down, she just ran away. She abandoned me."

And yet you still miss her.

Simón could relate to that. Missing something, someone, even though you know it's not good for you.

"... Well, what else could she do?" He said. "Aside from facing the consequences of her actions, of course. It's not like she could've taken you with her if she was going to be on the run."

"I would've gone with her," Ámbar said immediately.

That was what she had wanted. She wanted to be away from here, from Buenos Aires, from everything. She wanted to leave her past behind and start anew with her godmother some place else where there would be no Lunas, no Valentes, no heartbreaks. She had spent all these days in Cancún thinking that it would've been better if Sharon had just taken her with her.

Simón didn't seem to agree though.

"Ámbar, that's crazy!" He said, positively looking at her as if she had lost her mind. "You don't know what she would've done to you. You said it yourself, she lied to you about who you are! And you don't know where she would've taken you. Your whole life is here. Your family's here, your friends are here—"

"Family?" She turned to him. "Friends? I have no one, Simón!" The cracks inside of her grew bigger as that sad truth came out, the one that'd been hunting her for weeks. "My godmother abandoned me. Alfredo doesn't even know I exist anymore, ever since he found out that Luna is the real Sol Benson, he totally forgot about me. The Valentes aren't my family, Luna definitely isn't my family nor do I want her to be, and everyone who used to be my friend turned their backs on me."

"Well, that one was your fault, if you hadn't burned down the rink—"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!"

Simón flinched back, staring at her wide-eyed.

But Ámbar didn't care if she looked crazy, she didn't care if she scared him, she didn't care what he thought— She was done with everything.

"How many times do I have to say that until SOMEONE believes me?! No— You know what? Forget it. Whatever!" She threw her arms to the sky. "You wanna believe I'm an arsonist? Perfect, go ahead. You wanna believe I purposely burned down the only place in which I've ever felt like I'm worth something? Be my fucking guest. A ton of other shit that I did do and I admit, but of course everyone would hate me for the one thing I didn't mean to do! It's just my fucking luck."

"Ámba—"

"And I guess it's also my fault that I'm not Sol Benson," she continued. "I should've just been born out of Bernie and Lily, how silly of me to have been born out of some stupid teenage girl who never heard of what a freaking condom is and gave me up to Sharon because she didn't have a penny to raise me!" She advanced towards him, making Simón take a step back. "You don't wanna believe the fire was an accident? I WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT! MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT! IF THE WORLD GOT ITS WAY, I WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE BEEN BORN. HOW HAPPY EVERYONE WOULD'VE BEEN THEN, RIGHT?!"

She shoved against his shoulder and sprinted away, leaving Simón stunned. His mind was reeling, his heart pounding. He couldn't process everything she'd just said.

But his body reacted. He ran after Ámbar without thinking, because he didn't need to think it through— He just had to do one thing.

Catch her.

"Ámbar!"

He caught her arm, forcing her to a stop.

"Let me go," she said, trying to pull her arm free but he held on tightly to her wrist. Simón pulled her toward him and she started fighting, trying to break free with all her might. "I said let me go, Simón!"

He brought his other arm around her and pressed her firmly against his chest. "I'm not going to let you go."

Ámbar continued to struggle, trying to break away to no avail.

"Let me go!" She yelled in distress, smacking and pushing him with her free hand. "I hate you! I hate everyone! I hate-e—"

Her voice broke, and with it, so did her will to fight.

Ámbar burrowed her face on Simón's chest and her fingers clutched the material of his tank top. A loud wail tore out her throat, and she started to cry.

Simón let go of her wrist and wrapped both arms around her, holding her as her body shook with sobs and his skin got damp from her tears. Ámbar's arms slid around his sides and Simón felt her cling to him as strongly as she had tried to pull away before.

It was a cry filled with anguish; loud and desperate. Tears gathered in Simón's own eyes. Every little sound that came out of Ámbar's throat seemed to tear him apart.

"Shhh... Easy, bonita, easy," he murmured, caressing her back softly as his other hand cradled her head. "I don't ever want to hear you say anything like that again, okay? I don't want you to think it either. No one would be happier without you, Ámbar. Mr. Alfredo loves you like a grandchild, I know he does. He mentions you a lot. You're not there to hear it, but I have. He worries about you being out of the house so much."

A hard sob made Simón hold her tighter, wishing he could extinguish her pain with his arms.

"Delfi and Jazmín are angry right now but I'm sure they don't hate you. You've been friends for years, that doesn't go away one day to another. The rest of the guys are mad too but I'm sure they would forgive you if you apologized. Mónica and Miguel could be your family if you let them. Hell— even Luna wouldn't be happier without you, Ámbar. Who'd compete with her, huh? Who is a better skater than you, a better singer than you, to push her to be better? I know she annoys you, but I think she pushes you to be better too, doesn't she?"

Gradually, Ámbar's crying was easing down. Simón gently caressed her hair, beckoning the calm to come back. "I'm sure your mom loves you as well." He felt her tense up, but he kept going, knowing she needed to hear this. "That's why she gave you to Sharon. She wanted you to have a better life; a good one. I'm sure she doesn't regret having you. I mean, a girl as talented as you? Who could regret that?"

Ámbar let out a couple more sobs and then they receded, leaving just ragged breaths in their place, which shook her frame from time to time. Simón could feel her breath against his skin, warm as the tears she spilled, but they became fewer and fewer. Her hands slid down his back, and it was like they pulled the words out of his mouth before he could think whether he should say them.

"And I don't regret meeting you. I don't regret skating with you, singing with you, falling for you... even after everything that happened. So, please, don't say those things, Ámbar."

Finally, after what felt like a shredder to his very soul, Ámbar's crying ceased. Her chest rose and fell steadily against his own and no more tears fell from her eyes. They stayed like that for a moment longer— how long, Simón did not know, only that by the end of it both of their breathings seemed to have synchronized.

Slowly, Ámbar started pulling away from the embrace, and Simón felt the sudden, irrational urge to bring her back into his arms and keep her there forever, but he reigned it in, and let her go.

Ámbar swiped her hands across her cheeks and sniffed, wiping away the remnants of her crying as much as she could, but there was nothing she could do about her reddened eyes. Looking at her, Simón felt a need to protect so strong that it hurt.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked her softly, hoping that the shaking he felt inside didn't show in his voice. He had to be composed. For her.

Ámbar's eyes found Simón's shyly before shifting away. Not trusting her voice yet, she nodded.

She was embarrassed. She had never broken down like that in front of anyone. Hell— she had never broken down like that, period. She felt like she had cried for every misfortune in her life in one go. She wanted to berate herself for it, for letting herself break down, especially in front of someone, but she didn't have the energy for it. If she had been alone like all those times inside her bedroom, she probably would've been able to hold it in. But with Simón holding her, she just...

Ámbar checked him over discreetly, careful not to catch his gaze. There was a wet stain of tears, smeared makeup and maybe what else on his tank top that she had left there, and she was sure a lot of his skin had gotten wet from her crying too. It didn't seem to bother him, but then again, he was too nice to complain about it if it did. Even if it was her.

Simón's hands settled gently on her upper arms and rubbed a little up and down.

"Is it alright if we keep going?" He asked in that same soft voice he had used before. A part of her hated it, and the look on his face too; rebelled against the idea of him thinking her a fragile crystal thing. But the bigger, more honest part of herself wanted to reach out to that softness and wrap herself in it like a blanket. "I just think that the sooner you get inside your house, the better. I don't want you to get sick."

Again, she only nodded, not having the strength to say anything back anymore. Not having the guts to say she wanted to stay with him a little bit longer.

For a instant, it looked like Simón was going to grab her hand, but then he seemed to think better of it and dug both his hands into the pockets of his shorts.

She would've held his hand.

Ámbar felt embarrassed once more. She was so weak when it came to him.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, both to fend off the cold and also to try and keep in all the things that were swirling inside her. They walked like that for some time, just the sound of the waves touching the shore and some people walking down the street.

"I would recommend you stay in the house too," Simón told her, breaking the silence. "I know you were meaning to just grab your stuff and go to Emilia's, but I think it'd be better if you took a warm bath, got rid of all the sand... and ate something, because I don't know when was the last time you did." He watched her attentively, searching for any reaction to his words. "Maybe have dinner with everyone one of these days?" He suggested. "Like I said, Alfredo misses you."

Ámbar didn't answer or looked his way. She just kept walking ahead with her eyes fixed on the ground and her hands tucked under her crossed arms. Simón was at least glad that she didn't seem to be crying anymore, but she didn't look fine either. Given the circumstances though, he guessed it was too much to ask for her to be.

Simón considered trying to strike up more conversation but decided against it. Maybe silence was good. A lot of things had been said already— surely it was enough for one night. For many nights. Ámbar probably wanted to be left alone now, not pestered with questions or small talk. Maybe she wouldn't even want to see him again after this.

From her demeanor, he couldn't tell if she was just lost in thought or mad at him. She clearly hadn't wanted to cry, at least not in front of him, and he hadn't given her the option to leave alone, so he could understand if she was angry about that. Ámbar wasn't good at vulnerable. Maybe just the reminder of what happened would make her want to run and so she'd avoid him like the plague starting tomorrow. Simón would understand that too. But nothing would be able to stop him from worrying and wondering how she was. He didn't even know how he'd be able to fall asleep once he got home.

Finally, the wide entrance to the mansion could be seen ahead of them, the orange ceilings of the structure standing tall against the dark of the night, almost blending in together. Simón knew Ámbar didn't have her keys with her, but surely the doorman would let her in through the gate, so it was alright. Should he come in too? A part of him wanted to tuck her in himself, but he knew that was ridiculous. No, he'd just stay by the entrance until she got to the door and then—

"Simón?"

Simón turned at the sound of Ámbar's voice and found her standing some steps behind him. She must have stopped walking at some point without him noticing, lost in his thoughts as he was.

He didn't know what was it exactly that he saw in her gaze at that moment, only that it rooted him in place. Their shared look didn't last more than a couple of seconds— it couldn't have— because in an instant, Ámbar was running over to him, holding his face between her palms, and kissing him on the mouth.

Simón's eyes closed on instinct, but the rest of his body became paralyzed. His breath caught in his throat at the feel of Ámbar's lips on his, a little chapped from the sea breeze but still soft. She was kissing him firmly, with a taste of urgency or some deep-rooted need.

Whatever it was, he had to pull away. This was wrong. He had to pull away.

But when she started to part, he didn't let her. Each one of his senses rebelled against her retreat at once. His hands grabbed her waist and pressed her against him firmly, and he kissed her back hard, so full of desperation that it felt like a plea.

Don't go.

Simón didn't need to pull away, he didn't need to stop this— He needed her.

Please don't go.

Ámbar's lips moved against his with renewed confidence, rekindled fire. Her arms wrapped around his neck, bringing them even closer. Simón let out a sound, low and pleased, and allowed his hands relearn her. He had missed her hair, her shape, the slow slide of her lips, and the taste of her mouth. He missed the way they seemed to fit together perfectly, the warmth of her touch as her hands ran over his body, the way she seemed delicate but her hold was strong and sure, electrifying, just like her presence in any room.

Nothing else mattered right now or even registered in his brain. Nothing was important, not even breathing, only this. Just her tongue against his, her scent mixed with the salt of the sea, the feeling of her body between his arms, and the little gasps she took in before he smothered them out.

They had never kissed like this before. The few kisses they'd shared had been unhurried, soft, because they had all the time in the world.

They thought they had all the time in the world.

Now their kiss was ravenous, frantic, with both of them trying to consume the other. Ámbar's fingers tugged at his hair. Simón tried and failed to get enough of her mouth. He was gripping her so tightly he would wonder if it hurt if she hadn't been holding him just as hard. It was like they wanted to fuse into one so they'd never have to part again.

But the burn in their lungs was too strong for them to keep fighting it forever.

They broke apart just enough to draw in some air. They were both breathing hard and trembling from the aftershock of sensations. For a moment, that was all they did— Hold onto each other and try to keep their hearts inside their chests.

Simón opened his eyes and found Ámbar's— Beautiful, dilated, and yet, so very melancholic.

She moved, bringing a hand to the side of his face. Her thumb caressed his cheek.

"Thank you," she said, softly. She lowered her hand. "Goodbye."

Just like that, she parted from his arms and walked away, leaving nothing but air where she once stood.

It was the first time in the entire night that Simón felt cold.

He turned to watch her cross the gate and walk up to the front door of the mansion. It closed behind her. Ámbar didn't look back once.

Simón understood what that meant.

That kiss had been a farewell, one last goodbye, the closure they didn't get to have because of all the drama that surrounded their end.

Now their walk was over, and with it the truce they had put on, like one final performance before the curtain closed on what was once them.

There was no 'them' anymore.

(There hadn't been for a while.)

Standing there outside the mansion, Simón wondered why it hurt so much.  

--------------------

His keys rattled as he opened the door and walked inside his house. His mom, sitting at the living room table with a cup of tea in front of her, greeted him back.

"Didn't you have a hoodie?" She asked him.

Simón looked down at himself. Considering how things had left off, he doubted Ámbar would approach him again.

"I... must have left it somewhere."

"You lost it, you mean." Her mother shook her head, with that blend of exasperated fondness only mothers seemed to pull off so well. "You airhead. You're hopeless."

Flashbacks of the night ran through his mind. Simón went up to his room.

"...Yeah. I guess so."

…

..

.

--------------------

We can play the game 'How many references to songs and other things can I put in one chapter?' I don't know the answer but I think I outdid myself with this one.

[atsumiye]

um, wrong number?

summary: on a night out, atsumu manages to get his next flings number. written on a flimsy napkin, they scribble a cute “call me” and their number. however, the next morning atsumu realizes the last few digits are smudged. with his superb guessing skills, he manages to guess the last 3 digits….or what he thinks is the 3 digits. so what happens when atsumu texts y/n some raunchy messages? he gets called a pervert.

masterlist ll seven ll eight ll nine

“Eichi, keep an eye out. This place is packed and I don't want to be here longer than I have to.” Akiko says as she pulls out a compact mirror to check her makeup and hair. She pulls out her lipstick and glides it across her lips and smacks her lips together. Brushing her fingers through her hair to fix any stray strands, she slams the mirror shut before placing it back in her purse.

“I'm not leaving without his number.” She says as she turns her head to look at Eichi.

Eichi gives her a small nod as she stretches her neck to look above the large crowd and around the neutral colored restaurant, before she spots a flash of bright blonde.

“I think I see him, he's towards the back with a group of guys.” She points her finger in the direction as Akiko starts to walk to the back.

She plasters a large grin on her face before she giggles out an, “Atsumu!”. The players he's speaking to look at her before turning back to Atsumu. She places her hand on his shoulder and tilts her head to meet his eyes.

“Hello…” he mumbles to her while looking back to his teammates with a questioning look.

“How have you been, baby? You never texted me so I sent you a dm but you never responded.” She bats her eyelashes at him as she looks at his confused expression.

After a few beats of silence, Atsumu's eyes widen, “Oh yer Akizo, right?”

She huffs before fake laughing, “Close, Akiko.”

“But you do remember me after all? What happened to sending me a message?”

“Ah sorry, had some….issues with the number. It was good to see ya again I guess” rubbing the back of his neck, he nods his head before he turns back towards his team members. All his team members look between the two, angry that Atsumu might be causing more problems. He remembers how his PR team begged him to not cause anymore drama- that he argued he doesn't purposely start- before the start of the new season, so he chooses to ignore the girl hanging onto him.

And he can't ignore the way his heart feels a bit weird as his mystery girl pops into his head.

Akiko huffs and she clings to his arm and brings a hand to rest on his chest, noticing the way a few people begin to pull out their phones and whisper to each other. She leans into his ear as she whispers, “Your causing a scene baby, let's exchange numbers again hm? This time, you give me your number”, she pauses dropping the smile on her face slightly, “and I'll send you a text.”

He looks down at her before placing his hand out to grab her phone and type his number in. She grabs the phone back and says “Let me just make sure it's right” she types a quick message and hearing his phone ding, sighs in satisfaction. “Make sure to answer when I text.” She flashes him a small smile and walks away towards the exit, Eichi quickly bows her head towards the table as she walks after Akiko.

----------

“Oh yer Akizo, right?” You turn your head towards Atsumu's loud voice noticing a pretty girl start to cling to him. You tsk and look back towards the plate Osamu hands you.

Before you take it, Osamu looks down at you and says “It's been three weeks since he texted you right?” You nod as he continues, “You know, there hasn't been a single day where he hasn't talked about you. Don't be jealous.”

You gasp and give him a disgusted look, “I'm not jealous! He doesn't even know my name, I just think she's a bit...weird. And I thought that the name sounded familiar to the girl he was originally supposed to text. That's all.” You snatch the plate from his hand as he begins to smile. You roll your eyes as you walk to the table, “Jealous! That's ridiculous.” You shake your head before approaching the table.

------

As the last customer walks out of the door, Osamu points to the door and tells you to turn the open sign to close. Flipping the sign and pulling down the blinds you loudly sign, “You know Osamu, you may regret hiring me but I regret accepting the job. My feet hurt.” You begin to pout before Meian comes behind you and flicks the back of your head, “Stop complaining.” You bring your hand to place it over where he flicked you and stick your tongue out at him.

“Osamu, let me know what you want me to help with.” Meian says as he begins to yawn.

“No, go home. Not only are you tired but if you stay here you'll use it against me or ask for some of my paycheck or something.” You smirk at him as he and Osamu begin to laugh. “She's right Meian, I can drive her home.” Osamu tells him as he begins to pull out a bucket of water to wipe down tables.

“Fine” he nods towards Osamu before turning towards you, “Text me that you got home safe okay?” he pulls you into a hug before ruffling your hair.

You brush down your hair and nod with a grin. “Drive safe okay?”, he smiles as he yells out a ‘goodnight’.

You turn back towards Osamu to grab a towel to start cleaning, “Y/N, after you are done with the tables, just wait here for a few minutes. Atsumu is bringing extra products from the other restaurant so he might come in.” You smile and nod as you begin to to wipe everything down and Osamu walks into his office to close the registers for the night.

Twenty minutes later, the door opens revealing an annoyed Atsumu.

“Samu! The traffic was horrible, I'm never helpin' ya again!” he yells and you begin to laugh. He turns his head to you, “Yer Y/N, right? The new girl he hired.” You nod and you can't help the smile that grows on your face at the mere fact he has no idea, “Yeah I am, it's nice to meet you Atsumu.”

“Same here.” he places the giant box on the floor behind the register as he comes back out and stares at you for a few seconds. “Yer a girl right?” you look down at yourself and meet his eyes to say “Sure?”

He drags a chair across the floor and places it in front of you, sitting backwards on the chair.

“I've got a question for ya.” You nod, allowing him to ask.

“So, how would I get a girl to tell me who she is?”

“Sorry? What does that even mean?” you furrow your eyebrows trying to decipher what he is trying to ask.

“Basically, I'm texting this girl. She knows who I am because we got mutual friends or somethin but I don't even know her name. We have spoken every day for almost four weeks and I know nothing about her.”

Osamu walks out of the office towards the two of you smiling to himself, “You forgot the best part, Tsumu. Ya sent her a nude as yer first message to her.” You and Osamu laugh as Atsumu drops his head in his hands.

“I've told ya and her that it was a mistake. Plus she moved on from it.”

You smile at him as you say, “Well, maybe she will come around. Just be respectful of the boundaries she has set up. You skipped quite a few steps by sending a nude the first time you spoke, so be understanding of that. Who knows, maybe soon she will want to tell you who she is.”

Osamu widens his eyes before smirking, “Why Tsum, ya got a crush on her?”

You feel your face heat up as Atsumu looks at the floor. “Shut up, Samu!”

Osamu smiles looking at your reactions before he says, “Alright lets get ya home Y/N. Meian will kill me if I get ya home too late.”

You both begin to stand up as Atsumu says, “Thanks for the advice.”

“Anytime. I hope it works out for you guys.” You smile at him as you all walk out of the restaurant.

chapter eight- don't be jealous

riya's notes:

- i wholeheartedly believe that osamu doesn't talk with his kansai dialect until he gets around atsumu

- akiko did a lot of research into atsumu in the past few weeks, so she knew he probably wouldn't want a ton of people looking at him or to cause a scene

- y/n doesn't know if she likes atsumu, what she does know is that she cares about him a lot

- atsumu is currently planning ways to win his mystery girl over

- osamu knows his brother really well, he knows how he feels and he found it hilarious he was asking y/n how to talk to y/n....

- y/n texted meian right as she got home but he was already asleep

- pls let me know your thoughts <3333

taglist: @satorinnie @speakfrenchbetweenmythighs @tetsuhoes @namyari @tabipleats @yamstadashi @lilith412426 @haikyuuwifu @bakugouswh0r3 @royahllty @its-the-aerieljeane @schleepyflocci @riceballsandanime @lady-tokugawa-of-mikawa @zukoslosthishonor @blueowl51 @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @windkages @unstaaableaf @sakusasimpbot @tsukkinginamo @starylust @crocigator @a-disappointing-teen-author @ysatrap @fuschiguro @sugabeaniee @art-junkie-13

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia” you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

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taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

[n1kolaiz]

The Six Realms

Okay, so I was pretty close to giving up on writing analyses but I'm back LMFAO plus I see we're close to 100 followers and I just want to thank you guys for being so very supportive <3

Alright, I'm not sure if anyone's ever written about this, but if an analysis like this exists, please do let me know because I'm kind of curious as to what other people think about this, too!

Remember that time Fukuchi spoke about bringing "about the five signs of an angel's death"?

I read a little bit more about it, and as a minor content warning: this analysis will focus on a few religious aspects (Buddhism + Hinduism). So if I get any of the facts wrong, firstly: I do not mean any disrespect to either religion, and secondly: please do correct me if I interpret anything in the wrong way.

Spoilers for BSD chapter 90 onwards + BEAST!AU under the cut!

So I'll start by talking about the Decay of Angels. As we all know, the members include Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma, and Bram Stoker, and their leader, Fukuchi Ochi. After Fyodor's arrest, the Decay of Angels came into light with Nikolai murdering four government officials in a week. These murders symbolise the Buddhist cycle of existence, or otherwise known as samsara: the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

"We are the Decay of Angels—hiding here as terrorists, a 'murder association', five people who will announce the demise of the celestial world."

Nikolai Gogol, chapter 57

Samsara is described to be a concept beyond human understanding. According to Hinduism, samsara is the physical world where every being has its soul trapped into a physical vessel. The Hindus believe that everything has a soul, and due to a soul's attachment to desire, it is forced into a deathless cycle of being born, dying, and reincarnating into a different body. In Buddhism, the ultimate way to break free from this cycle is by obtaining nirvana.

Nirvana is a Sanskrit word for the goal of the Buddhist path: enlightenment or awakening. In Pali, the language of some of the earliest Buddhist texts, the word is nibbana; in both languages it means "extinction" (like a lamp or flame) or "cessation." It refers to the extinction of greed, ill will, and delusion in the mind, the three poisons that perpetuate suffering. Nirvana is what the Buddha achieved on the night of his enlightenment: he became completely free from the three poisons. Everything he taught for the rest of his life was aimed at helping others to arrive at that same freedom.

- TRICYCLE'S definition of nirvana

As Fukuchi mentions in the panel above, there are six different realms of existence. These realms represent every possible state of existence, but one cannot live in a specific realm forever. Depending on whether or not one's past actions were morally good or bad, an individual is born into one of these realms. Basically, the controlling factor of which realm a person is born into is dependent on their respective karma. The realms are separated into two categories: the hellish ones and the heavenly ones.

The Deva Realm: where beings are rewarded for the good deeds they have done. This realm is void of anything unpleasant. It is basically paradise— empty of unfulfilled desires, any form of suffering, and fears of every kind. Religious individuals, however, do not seek to be born into this realm since its attitude is more or less carefree.

The Asura Realm: where demigods are admitted. Asuras are driven by greed and envy, and may come in conflict with human beings since they are quite similar. They are powerful beings, but quarrel with each other quite a bit, making this realm quite undesirable to be reborn into.

The Animal Realm: where beings are given the form of an animal (you probably guessed that lol). Individuals here don't actually have good karma to take pride in, but rather, they are born into this realm to work off their bad karma (by being slaughtered, hunted, or forced to work, etc). Being born into this realm forces one to atone for their past sins by living out their life as an animal.

The Hell Realm: where one is punished for their evil actions. The most merciless of realms, where one pays for their transgressions through pure suffering, methods of which include: dismemberment, starvation, and psychological/physical torture. However, once a person's term is fulfilled in this realm, they are presumably promised to be reborn into a higher state.

The Preta Realm: similar to the hell realm, in which beings pay for their past sins (specifically: greed and stinginess) by having to survive through hunger and thirst. This realm is also known as the 'ghost realm,' because some pretas are psychologically tortured by being forced to live in places their past selves have lived in. They are invisible to human beings living at that time, which pushes them to face the depths of despair and loneliness. Your typical horror movie, really.

The Human Realm: the only realm where one's actions determine their future. The status (social ranking, physical wellbeing, and so on) of a human being in this realm is determined by their past actions, but due to the fact that a person has their own conscience to differentiate good morals from bad, the actions they commit in this realm have the power to determine which realm they are sent to next.

Okay, so now that I've got that out of the way, let's shift our focus to the Book. Very little is known about the Book, but the basic fundamentals of how it works is that whatever is written in the book will come into existence only if its contents follow the rules of karma. In addition to that, only a few sentences can be written into a single page of the Book, and it must follow the current narrative of the story.

If I'm not wrong, the first time the Book was mentioned was by Fitzgerald, who wanted it to resurrect his deceased daughter in hopes of restoring his wife's mental health. The next time the Book is brought up is when Fyodor's intentions to possess it are divulged; his goal was to decimate the global population of ability-users. And now, the current arc has the Book as its central focus, with a single page in Fukuchi's possession.

[ BEAST!AU spoilers ]

The Book acts as the central point of multiverses, with each character's lives differing from universe to universe.

Dazai committing suicide in this alternate universe stands in sharp contrast with how he decided to start up a new life in the main universe.

Oda staying alive to act as a mentor to Akutagawa in the ADA differs from how Oda uses his death to prompt Dazai to "be on the side that saves people."

And of course, the way Atsushi and Akutagawa have their positions switched in the two universes depicts how different their lives would be if they were given the chance to be mentored by different people— these are just a few examples of how the Book houses an endless amount of possibilities.

[ end of BEAST!AU spoilers ]

Hypothetically speaking, this kind of reminds me of the differing realms I mentioned before, where suffering is promised in some realms, and better things are granted in the rest, depending on one's karma, or the deeds they've done in their past lives. In this scenario, perhaps one's past life can be understood as one's current life in a different universe. That's just a personal opinion though. Take it as you will.

side note: Keep in mind that the person who is more or less impervious to the Book's effect is Dazai, with his nullification ability. I wouldn't want to propose any theories in this aspect (I don't believe I'm fully fact-checked ;_;), but I could use Dazai as a raw example of how your choices affect your future. If Dazai had decided to stay in the Port Mafia after Oda's death, or if he even decided to go through with his suicidal fixations, life would've been different for him in the root universe (obviously, ryley) I mean, you could basically understand that from how he ended up in the BEAST au, but imagine if he really did slip up in his decision-making in any of the universes.

Many analysts have proposed that he went MIA (early in his life) from the main universe for a while to figure out how the BEAST universe worked, whilst having the Book to his advantage. Perhaps his actions were guided? I'm not saying he's all-knowing, but he's sure as hell smart. I'm not sure if Kafka was trying to highlight the concept of karma when it comes to Dazai, but if he is, then I suppose you could say that Dazai is pretty much unaffected by the rules of karma, existing as the centerpiece of all the multiverses. No Longer Human is the namesake of his ability, but the book talks about disqualification from societal norms and generally, the world. I was talking about it with a friend, and they reminded me that Yozo (the main protagonist) was pretty strong in his views against society. Like he didn't speak out of total defeat, he spoke out of defense. If there was anything Dazai actually lost to, it was his guilt— "Living itself is a source of sin."

Then again, that's my personal interpretation since everyone has their unique perspective of his writings. In terms of the actual adaptation, you could translate the word 'disqualification' to 'insusceptibilty' when if it came to the Book's effects on Dazai? This side note is becoming really long lmao anyways I'll link a few theories which afflicted me with brainrot down below.

Another thing before I wrap up, the name 'Decay of Angels' stemmed from Yukio Mishima's book entitled 'The Decay of An Angel.' This is the final novel to the author's tetralogy: 'The Sea of Fertility.' The main protagonist, Honda, meets a person he believes to be a reincarnation of his friend, Kiyoaki, who takes the form of a young teenage boy named Tōru. The last novel of this series enhances Mishima's dominant themes of the series as a whole:

the decay of courtly tradition in Japan

the essence and value of Buddhist philosophy and aesthetics

Mishima’s apocalyptic vision of the modern era

Again, this could be referred to what Fukuchi goes on to say:

Some people view the concept of samsara optimistically, justifying it by saying that perhaps each individual is given a second (third, fourth, fifth, who knows) chance to refine their actions in order to be birthed into a better realm, with their karma being the independent variable.

On the other hand, other people, specifically the Hindus, view the cycle of existence as some sort of plague. To them, the flow of life and being forced to endure the suffering of mere existence in any form was somewhat frowned down upon. Some Hindus viewed samsara as a trap. Besides, having one's soul being limited to a physical body for the rest of eternity was not very appealing, especially since where they ended up at depended on the karmic value their past actions surmounted.

Even so, particular types of Buddhists don't seek nirvana, but instead, like the Hindus, they make an effort to be good people of society, building up their good deeds to increase the likelihood of being reborn into one of the better realms.

As mentioned before, the Deva Realm was the home of angels, the most carefree, gratified beings to exist. Fukuchi describes these angels as the people who don't get their hands dirty, the people who act as the puppeteers of society: politicians.

In terms of parallels, angels were the most fortunate and powerful, but they didn't have anyone ruling over them. A lack of supervision would lead to the abuse of power, which is what I believe Fukuchi was referring to. Deeming himself the Decay of Angels, he sought to prove himself as the 'sign of death that falls on the nation's greed.'

A few fun facts (okay, not really) about Yukio Mishima: he committed seppuku (ritual suicide by disembowelment) on the day he held a speech to voice out his unpopular political beliefs to the public. Mishima deeply treasured traditions and opposed the modern mindset the nation was advancing forward to adapt eventually. In his last book, The Decay of an Angel, he spoke about the five signs which complete the death of an angel:

Here are the five greater signs: the once-immaculate robes are soiled, the flowers in the flowery crown fade and fall, sweat pours from the armpits, a fetid stench envelops the body, the angel is no longer happy in its proper place.

The Decay of an Angel, p.53

The reviews about this series I've read so far describe Mishima's works to be quite complex; his writings demanded a lot of time to deconstruct and understand. They were highly symbolic, and he was pretty obsessed with death and the 'spiritual barrenness of the modern world.' I think you could attach a few strings from here to the mindsets of the DOA members. Of course, this parallel is completely abstract, but I'll go on rambling anyway:

He should have armed them with the foreknowledge that would keep them from flinging themselves after their destinies, take away their wings, keep them from soaring, make them march in step with the crowd. The world does not approve of flying. Wings are dangerous weapons. They invite self-destruction before they can be used. If he had brought Isao to terms with the fools, then he could have pretended that he knew nothing of wings.

The Decay of an Angel, p.113

I suppose you could resonate Nikolai with that excerpt. As much as Fukuchi takes the lead in this whole murder association, I'd like to believe that each member of the DOA plays an equally interesting part in whatever movement they're trying to execute. Fyodor feels it is his god-sent purpose to cleanse the world of its sins, his motto being, "Let the hand of God guide you." Sigma doesn't know where he belongs, since his origination comes from a page in the Book, and is fueled by the desperation to find a reason to live. Bram holds one of the most powerful abilities which is counted to be one of the "Top Ten Calamities to Destroy the World."

What I mean to say is that the DOA members are incredibly powerful, and they're not your ordinary antagonists (or I'm just biased). It's not just overthrowing authorities, mass genocide, and world domination— you could say that each individual is trying to utilize their purposes to their fullest expenditures, and the way they're trying to assert their plan into action is a little more passive-aggressive (framing the Agency, having a convo with a suicidal dude in jail, etc). They're the gray area between evil and good. As they framed the good guys for their own crimes, they're trying to conquer the bad guys for exploiting the innocent as they please.

This post would definitely age well if all hell breaks loose in the current arc (as if it didn't) and Kafka doesn't give us a happy ending.

That's all I have to say for now I guess! Thank you for reading, and once again, if anyone else something they wanna share, feel free to do so <3

sources (tryna follow Q's example ^_^) :

the six realms

samsara

the decay of angels

beast!au

the book

the sea of fertility

yukio mishima

theory: dazai’s emotional/mental state in beast!au

q’s theory: dazai being the protector of the book

theory: beast!dazai and the book

[ming-yu-hao]

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 1

Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.

This Chapter’s Tags: some angst ig, light cheating? (not really lol), mingyu is just flirty, female masturbation, mentions of alcohol and weed

Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!

A/N: it’s gonna get spicy soon just trust me ;)

Chapters: Next | Masterlist

30 minutes. That's how long you had spent anxiously perched in front of your computer, waiting for the familiar ring of the video call to echo through the speakers. You cycled between scrolling through social media, checking your reflection in the camera, and debating on whether or not to text Wonwoo. You understood that he was busy; it wasn't unusual for either of you to call a few minutes later than you had originally planned. But Wonwoo had never left you hanging for this long without an explanation. Normally, your mind would begin to fixate on the worst case scenario, but Wonwoo had already cancelled on you the past two weeks because he was busy working.

The loud vibration of your phone against your desk drew you out of your thoughts, and you hurriedly picked it up and saw Wonwoo's name glowing across the screen. "Hello?" You answered quickly.

"Hey," Wonwoo's deep voice sounded through the phone. "You're gonna hate me," He chuckled.

"I could never," You replied. You already knew the next words that were going to come out of his mouth.

"I can't FaceTime tonight." He explained. Even though you saw it coming, you couldn't help the feeling of disappointment that weighed heavy on your chest.

Your eyes met with the reflection displayed on the laptop screen. It taunted you, reminding you that Wonwoo's face wouldn't be there to replace it once again. "Well, I would be a lot happier right now if you told me that half an hour ago," You laughed bitterly. Running a hand through your hair, you quietly sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry." Wonwoo apologized. His voice was laced with genuine sorrow; you could clearly picture the frown that lined his lips right now. He added after a moment of silence, "I don't wanna keep doing this to you, so I think we should change our date day. I've been working more Fridays lately."

You nodded despite him not being able to see you and hummed in agreement. "What day then?" You asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I still have to figure out my schedule. Just text me what works for you and I'll let you know soon, okay?" He sighed.

"Oh, okay... yeah." Your lips drew into a tighter line with each word he spoke.

"Okay, I have to get to get back to work right now. I'm sorry again." He continued quickly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

The three tones signaled the end of the call, and slowly you pulled the phone away from your ear. Your tired reflection stared back at you. Finally, you shut the computer for the third Friday in a row.

The remainder of the weekend passed and you had barely heard anything from Wonwoo except for the usual good morning and goodnight texts. By the time Wednesday came around, the both of you finally agreed that Saturday could be your new set day for FaceTime dates. You powered through the rest of the week, and on Saturday you excitedly set aside all the work from your classes and waited patiently for Wonwoo to call.

You really missed him. It'd been just over two months now since you last saw him in person, when you moved into your dorm at a university three hours away from the one where you and Wonwoo met. He stayed behind while you transferred to a college with a renowned journalism program. At first, you were hesitant to leave him, but Wonwoo refused to let you give up such a great opportunity just to stay close to him. That was what you loved about him: he wanted to see you be happy and successful.

Situating yourself comfortably on the bed, you pulled up some random Netflix series to entertain yourself while waiting for Wonwoo. You only half paid attention, glancing between the computer screen and your Instagram feed on your phone. Time crawled, and slowly you sunk deeper into the softness of the mattress below.

Cold, small hands shook you awake. You rubbed your eyes and sat up, disoriented. The series you were watching was still playing quietly. Your roommate, Jisoo, stood next to your bed with her arms crossed over her chest. She stared at you with a raised eyebrow. "You're passed out by 7 on a Saturday night?" A teasing smile was displayed across her face as she shut your laptop.

You suddenly realized that it was an hour past the time that Wonwoo had promised to FaceTime you. Your heart sunk in your chest as you thought about how you probably missed his call without an explanation. You picked up your phone, but quickly noticed the notification for a missed phone call from him, followed by a text that said: I'm so sorry, something came up I promise I'll call you tomorrow.

Jisoo surveyed you for a moment; a more serious expression began to cross her features. She sat down at the bottom of your bed. "Did something happen?"

You rolled your eyes and looked down at your hands. "Wonwoo cancelled on me again," You sighed, "But I shouldn't be mad at him for it. It's not his fault he's busy."

Jisoo tsked and patted your leg through the sheets. "Of course you can be upset! How many times has it been now?"

"This entire month. And he always cancels super late."

She scoffed, "See! That's shitty. If this was the first time it wouldn't have been a big deal. But four times?" She stood up quickly and opened up her wardrobe. "If he wants long distance to work, he needs to have better communication."

"Yeah, I guess." You replied. Jisoo held a black top up to her figure, observing herself in the mirror. "Where are you going?" You inquired.

"A party at the SVT frat. You know any of them?" She explained while changing her outfit.

You had heard of the frat before, but you racked your brain for any of their names and couldn't remember one. "I don't think so."

Jisoo faced you again and smiled. "Well, let's go."

You chuckled, "No way."

She pouted. "Come on. You haven't gone out with me I'm so long. You're in college!" Jisoo begged. "Just this once. You'll have fun."

Jisoo had a point. You really had nothing else better to do besides sit around and mope over Wonwoo ditching you. You let out an exhasperated sigh of defeat, "Fine, I'll go."

"Yes! Go get all cute and dressed up." She cheered.

You emerged from your bed and strolled over to your own closet. "Alright, I'll be quick."

You and Jisoo walked into the party hand in hand. Immediately, the stench of weed and sweat overwhelmed you. Loud music vibrated through the walls of the house and clashed with the sounds of people cheering and yelling. An intense game of beer pong captured the attention of most people in the main room, but you could see a separate crowd gathered in the kitchen too.

"Who do you know here again?" You shouted over the music at Jisoo, not seeing a single person you recognized so far.

She leaned closer to you so you could hear. "Choi Seungcheol. I have a chemistry class with him." She scanned the room and suddenly perked up. "Oh, there he is!" She called his name and pulled you along with her towards him.

He stood against the wall with a red cup in his hand, talking with another tall boy. At the call of his name, he looked over at the two of you and smiled brightly. "Jisoo! I'm so happy you made it." He exclaimed while wrapping his arm around her lower back. Seungcheol watched you with kind eyes as you approached him. "And who is this?" He asked Jisoo.

"This is my roommate, Y/N. Y/N, this is Seungcheol." She introduced you both and you smiled and gave a small wave to the two boys.

The other boy flashed you a sweet smile that caused his eyes to form into crescents. "I'm Seokmin. I live here with Cheol." He explained.

All four of you continued to converse casually until Seungcheol pointed to you and Seokmin and said, "Hey, why don't you two go get some drinks? We'll wait here." You swore you saw a gleam of mischief in his eyes, and you quickly glanced at Jisoo to see if she noticed it too, but her expression remained neutral. This was exactly why you strayed away from parties. You wanted to avoid any encounters with flirty, drunk frat boys. But Jisoo, who was basically a mind reader, didn't react, so maybe you were just being overly paranoid.

You nodded and walked over to the kitchen, Seokmin following close behind, and watched as he began to mix some drinks together for the four of you. He let out a frustrated sigh as one of the bottles of liquor reached its end. Seokmin peeked over his shoulder and shouted, "Mingyu! Can you get me the other bottle of vodka?" You perked up at the familiar-sounding name, but couldn't remember where you had heard it before.

A moment later a presence approached you and Seokmin from behind and set the bottle down on the counter. "Now you have to make me one too," The deep voice joked. You turned around and immediately recognized the tall figure.

"Mingyu?" You called out in surprise.

His eyes dragged over and met yours. His face lit up instantly as he recognized you. "Y/N! What are you doing here?" Mingyu laughed.

Seokmin turned around and handed a cup to Mingyu with a raised eyebrow. "You guys know each other?" He questioned.

You grabbed your own cup and took a sip of the bittersweet mixture. "Yeah, we have a digital media class together." You said before smirking at Mingyu. "I didn't think you were the frat boy type."

Mingyu rested his right hand on the counter beside you, almost trapping you in between the wood and his body. "I guess I'm just full of surprises," He replied.

You felt your heart flutter in your chest at his flirty response. This was a whole new side of him that you had never seen before in class. Granted, he was most likely tipsy and maybe even a bit high, but in class he was usually polite and reserved. He cracked jokes with you sometimes, but you never expected him to be so bold. On top of that, he always had his hair styled back neatly. Now, his dark hair fell over his forehead in messy curls. His skin was sheathed in a light layer of sweat, and the muscles in his arms and chest were suddenly more prominent under his white tee in the dim light of the house. You had to admit, he was ridiculously attractive.

"I'm gonna go give this to Cheol and Jisoo," Seokmin interrupted before leaving the kitchen with both cups in his hands.

Silently, you started behind him and Mingyu walked with you. "So what are you doing here?" He asked again as the two of you rounded the corner and entered the living room.

"My roommate was invited and made me go with her," You told him. You continued to sip your drink, basking in the warm feeling that the alcohol left in your chest.

"Makes sense. I didn't expect you to be a party girl." He teased. His arm slowly snaked around your waist and squeezed your hip lightly. Your skin tingled beneath his touch but you didn't give him any physical reaction, opting to just ignore the grip he had on you.

Your jaw dropped in a fake gasp. "You think I'm boring or something?" You narrowed your eyes at him and he chuckled.

"I never said that," He responded with a smirk on his lips.

Seungcheol and Jisoo had migrated from the spot where they previously stood, so you scanned the crowded room for the long haired girl. Finally you noticed her sitting close to Seungcheol on the couch. You could see they were laughing about something and considering Seokmin wasn't hovering near them anymore either, you decided to leave them be.

Mingyu noticed where you were looking and raised his eyebrows at you when you turned back to look at him. "Well, I guess my roommate is busy," You rolled your eyes.

You had forgotten about Mingyu's hand on your waist until he squeezed it again. "Good thing you have me then," He bantered. Your skin flushed; you slightly leaned into his touch. It had been so long since you felt someone else's hands roam across your body. You missed the feeling.

Mingyu slowly pulled your body closer to his until your chest was centimeters away. You gulped and dragged your eyes up to meet his. He stared at you intensely, his other hand coming up to caress your cheek. Your breathing hitched as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip. "You're so pretty," He muttered. It felt like fire had lit up your entire body. Your nerves tingled and your brain felt fuzzy and you hated to admit it but you could feel arousal growing between your legs. Somehow Mingyu pulled you even closer than before and you felt his hard cock brush against your thigh through his jeans. His tongue darted out against his lips and he inched his face towards yours. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered just inches away from you lips.

Guilt imprisoned you as soon as he said those words. They reminded you of where you were, and what you were planning on doing. You closed your eyes and pulled yourself out of his grasp. "I have a boyfriend," You admitted briskly.

Mingyu stared at you in confusion. "What?"

Shame overtook you. Wonwoo had trusted you to remain loyal, and here you were at a frat party, leading on some poor boy from your class.

Mingyu lightly grabbed your wrist. "Hey, I'm sorry. I should've asked-" He started, but you quickly cut him off.

"No, I'm sorry. This is my fault." You apologized and pulled your wrist out of his grasp. You looked at him; he stared at you with a sorrowful gaze. The regret on your face was evident and he knew that he had helped in bringing this guilt upon you.

"I- I have to go do something," You added before turning around and darting towards the door. You didn't bother to turn around or look for Jisoo, you just needed to get out of there as fast as possible. Once you were outside, you inhaled a sharp breath and pulled out your phone to call for an Uber. You waited near the street, sending a text to Jisoo to let her know that you felt sick and went home while you waited.

Eventually the Uber pulled up and you hurriedly sat down and told the driver where to go. You breathed a sigh of relief as they finally pulled away from the frat.

The drive was short, but you spent every one of those few minutes replaying the night's events in your mind. Your flesh still tingled in the places where Mingyu had touched you. Guilt haunted you, but you attempted to lessen that burden by reasoning with yourself. You missed Wonwoo. A lot. You missed hearing his voice and seeing his face and of course feeling his touch against your skin. You hadn't been fucked in over two months now, so it was no wonder that any bit of physical affection would have such a strong effect on you. What mattered is that you stopped it before anything happened. You could live with that, you decided. All you had to do now was just clear up things with Mingyu next week, deal with any awkwardness between you two, and focus on Wonwoo.

When you arrived at your dorm, you quickly changed your clothes, cleansing yourself of the faint smell of weed and the remnants of Mingyu's touch. Not long after, exhaustion began to take over your body. You laid down on the bed, not even bothering to check your phone before closing your eyes and letting sleep overcome you.

You weren't sure what time you fell asleep, but you awoke some time later and glanced at the clock. 11:54 PM. You stretched your arms behind your head and yawned as you scanned the room. Jisoo was still gone. You closed your eyes again and tried to fall back asleep, but your mind began to race.

You could clearly picture Mingyu's lust-filled eyes staring down at you, his hands running over your waist and pulling you towards the heat of his body. The glow of his skin, the messy curls hanging over his forehead, the fullness of his lips as he asked in his husky voice if he could kiss you—the images and sensations swirled around in your thoughts.

In a half asleep daze, you rubbed your thighs together. Friction built between your legs. You groaned quietly as your mind revisited how you felt when Mingyu's hands were on your body. More arousal began to pool in your heat, your underwear clinging to your wetness.

Languidly, you ran your hand down your stomach and toyed with the hem of your underwear before slowly pulling the fabric down your legs. You imagined Mingyu's sharp eyes staring at you from between your thighs as you ran your fingers through your slick folds. Arousal coated your fingers and you began to rub your clit in slow circles. You pretended that Mingyu's thick fingers were the ones teasing your clit, making your legs jolt each time you pressed the right spot.

You moaned quietly and began to grope your own breast. You squeezed and flicked your nipple, causing a quiet gasp to fall from your lips. You pulled your hand away from your clit and slowly pushed two fingers into your dripping heat. "Mmh, Mingyu," You groaned under your breath. You imagined his deep voice saying the dirtiest things to you as he pumped and curled his fingers into your pussy.

You gasped as you hit a particular spot that made you arch your lower back. You continued pumping your fingers at a fast pace until the knot building in your lower stomach snapped. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a sharp whine as an intense feeling of euphoria washed over your body.

Your body relaxed against the sheets as your heart rate began to slow and exhaustion overtook you once again. You sighed contently and wrapped yourself in your blankets, allowing yourself to drift off to sleep.

You promised yourself that you would never do that again.

[arctic-comet]

Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics

Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.

The playlist can be found HERE

Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.

For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.

You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).

The playlist contains a lot of the following:

Music from movie and TV soundtracks

Instrumental music

Remixes

Classics and covers of classics

Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.

Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.

Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:

Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)

Fireflies- Owl City

Echoes in Rain- Enya

My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)

Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)

Everytime We Touch- Cascada

1000 Times- Sara Bareilles

Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor

She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)

Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie

Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse

Commentary:

The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.

The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

***

Wait for the sun

Watching the sky

Black as a crow

Night passes by

Taking the stars

So far away

Everything flows

Here comes another new day

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

***

"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:

Who can you trust, in this place?

And whom can I put my faith?

If you're real, then show me now,

Who you are

The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).

She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day

Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:

Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles

So Easy- Phillip Phillips

Incomplete- James Bay

Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)

I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne

Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath

P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)

It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)

I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer

The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics

Commentary:

The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.

"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the clouds

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.

What you need is a friend to count on

What you got baby you got someone

Who will stay when the rain is fallin'

And won't let it fall on you

P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.

It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.

I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.

Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

All I Ask- Adele

Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)

Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew

Constellations- The Oh Hellos

Commentary:

For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.

The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.

All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.

I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is

If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?

***

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

Never be enough

***

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me

I know that your love is gone

I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy

Don't tell me that your love is gone

That your love is gone

"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?

Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:

All of Me- John Legend

(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams

Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)

She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)

Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)

What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)

ivy- Taylor Swift

Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis

Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)

On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter

My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)

The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)

Commentary:

There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.

"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.

"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.

"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.

Losing your head is such a common theme

All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams

Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter

I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter

On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.

"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you

Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs

Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo

Burn With You- Lea Michele

The Bones- Maren Morris

Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt

Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)

Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood

“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.

I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

***

“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter

Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter

Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same

When there ain't a crack in the foundation

Baby, I know any storm we're facing

Will blow right over while we stay put

The house don't fall when the bones are good

***

“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.

Take me, I'm ready

Go slow but go steady

To a place that we can call our own

I wanna know what feels like home

***

“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.

I wanna love you like the rain on a roof

Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof

I wanna take love to places that love has never been

Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again

And I'll love you again

Oh, and again

[4aloysius-porteu]

i really wish i hated you || tsukishima kei

masterlist | 1 | chapter 2  | 3

pairing: tsukishima kei x f! reader

sypnosis: It was an accident that (Y/N) met a certain tall, blonde male; a memory she isn't fond of remembering, but it is where it all started. And ever since, she magically makes her to his path. The image of the bespectacled man dwelled in her mind more than she thought. Tsukishima pushed away his softer emotions and denied their existence, or at least that's what he told himself. But then, he couldn't believe that this girl he labeled as a clumsy, unlucky creature who smashed his glasses is slowly bringing these strange emotions back to him. She might be irritating and dumb sometimes, but he couldn't get himself to completely hate her. Either that destiny was stupid, or he was blessed or cursed.

genre: fanfiction, fluff

wc: 1881

(Y/N) stopped her tracks upon hearing his voice and turned around to confirm, but it was true, much to her dismay. He held his black-rimmed glasses with its left lens and frame cracked. The girl's mind went blank. She hesitantly glanced at him a few times, hoping that he would forgive her or let the incident smoothly slide.

He hissed, "Don't think you can get away with this, miss."

She sighed in defeat. The kids approached her with worried looks. She patted her heads, accepting their sympathy. "Well, playtime's over."

"But we haven't finished the game!"

"Do you still want to play?"

"Yes!"

"Next time, when you see me again at the park. Onee-chan has to go now."

She bade goodbye to the children and walked towards the guy she hit with his friend. She looked at his broken glasses again and couldn't help but to let out an exhale with anxiety. This is the result of my stupidity...

"W-What do you want me to do?" (Y/N) slurred.

" I don't know, maybe you should fix it right here and right now." The blonde guy crossed his arms and frowned.

Why don't you just get to the point?

"Replace it."

Of course, she will have to replace it. What a question to ask. She mentally rolled her eyes.

"I'll check there out if there's an optical store, I guess you will have to keep an eye on me so that I won't escape?" She pointed to the nearby mall, walking distance from the park.

"What else? Nobody trusts a stranger."

They reached the town's mall and saw an open optical store, but (Y/N) remembered her wallet. She wasn't sure if there's enough money for her to buy glasses.

"On the second thought, can I buy the glasses tomorrow? I don't think I have enough money."

"No." He instantly replied.

"Tsukki," His green-haired companion interrupted, "Maybe we can give her a chance? What if she's telling the truth?"

"I need my glasses in my everyday life, and if she doesn't have the money, I'll be happy to spare her some, but she'll have no choice to be in my debt."

How merciless. It's not like (Y/N) could blame him, but if the same thing happened to her, she would treat them nicely. She looked around the store to find a pair of glasses exactly like his, as he demanded, with his friend helping her for 30 minutes. After she gets the correct measurements and eye grade, she emptied her wallet to pay for the damn thing,

"Here." She held out the new glasses in the case. "Take care of them, it costed my LAST savings."

He took them and wore them immediately, "I am taking care of my glasses, it's just someone 'accidentally' kicked a ball on my way and knocked them off. Thank you for the horrible experience."

He excused himself and walked away. His friend stayed to talk to her.

"I'm sorry for the way he acted, he's like this most of the times. Please understand," He bowed, shyness evident in his voice.

"It's okay, it was completely my fault, so I don't mind."

"It was an accident, though. Thank you for your generosity." He soon followed the blondie that headed first.

"That was mandatory, though." (Y/N) lightly chuckled to herself.

She got out of the mall to take in the fresh air, but her soul almost left her body when a bolt of lightning strikes a tree near her, setting it on fire.

"Oh, my fucking- Did the sky just attempted to finish me?!" She said, calming herself down and looking up. The clouds were much darker than earlier.

As the townspeople bombed the burning tree with water, she ran to her apartment before it rains. There, she dropped her things on the couch and flopped to her bed, thinking what happened on this day because of her own stupidity. She groaned when she held her now empty wallet.

"Argh! Why am I so unlucky?!"She threw her wallet in frustration.

"That tall, blonde, asshole! He didn't need to embarrass me in front of people! I didn't mean it! He could've waited for tomorrow for me to replace his glasses! He's so unforgiving!" She complained, hating the thought of the said guy.

She sighed, cringe, anger, and embarrassment filling her head as she hugged her pillow.

"May karma comes to him sometime," was her last words before drifting off to a nap.

A few days passed, she went out of the house again to buy food supplies in a convenience store. It was almost nighttime. The chilly wind blew to her face and the sweet scent wafted in the store. She picked up some junk food and meat first before stopping by the confectioneries section. While choosing what shortcake flavor to pick, she bumped into something that almost made her fall to the floor, if she hadn't retained her balance.

"Oof, I'm sorry..."

Or rather, it was a person she bumped into.

She looked up and recognized the face of the man. It was the guy she's kind of mad at, but this time, he didn't have his nice friend with him.

(Y/N) took a step back, "You!"

The male looked back at her, tilting his head, observing the girl. He spoke with a monotonous expression, "Do I know you?"

Her eye twitched in irritation, "He doesn't remember me?!"

"I was the girl in the playground three days ago! I... I replaced your glasses!" She said, hesitating on the next sentence.

"Oh." His eyebrows raised, "Did the midget learned her lesson not to play a sport she's bad at?" He mocked.

"I'm not even a soccer player to begin with! What are you doing here?"

"What? Am I not allowed to buy food in a convenience store like a normal person?"

"I've been buying stuff here and I've never seen a similar face I've met twice in a week or month. That's sus."

"Maybe you are following me."

"What do I gain by following a huge, mean person like you?" (Y/N) retorted.

"Perhaps you want to get back at me after what happened days ago even if it's your fault. I don't know. Ask yourself." He took his eyes off her to choose among the sweet desserts.

She paused, analyzing his comment, "Well, you aren't completely wrong..."

"So, I am being followed? What a stalker."

"Of course not! What you said might be possible, but it's not the case right now!"

Both of them have set their eyes on an item and surprisingly the same one. A strawberry shortcake in the middle of the section. Their hands both grabbed the object before staring at each other in annoyance.

"Let go." They chorused.

"I chose it first." Said (Y/N).

"I do not see your name in it. You let go." He replied.

"How about no?"

They glared at each other for a few minutes before (Y/N)'s brows creased deeper in the middle, knowing well that this guy won't back down. "Whatever, you take it. I don't care anymore."

"Wow, thanks." He subtly rolled his eyes then walked away.

It was very awkward in the cashier where she had to wait behind him. Damn, he's so tall. Does he play any sport? Is he human? Or probably just a walking, mean tree?

What happened in the park flashed in (Y N)'s mind again. The impact of the ball might have been so painful to him since he wears glasses, where it cracked. What if the shards got into his eyes? Her wallet isn't ready for more payments, but that isn't the issue right now. She was worried about his well being. Both of them got out of the convenience store and she called the blonde male before he could get away again.

"Uhh, hey!"

He looked over his shoulder a little, "What?"

"Are your eyes okay? I mean, your glasses cracked... shards could've got inside your eyes..."

"Yes, they're fine, fortunately."

(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief. "That's... good to hear."

"But if something happened to my eyes, I will not hesitate to find you and make you pay for an eye surgery."

"You're exaggerating."

"It's not impossible. Now, go home. Elementary school students shouldn't go past the curfew."

She frowned. If only he wasn't a stranger, she would've kicked his ass to hell.

"Oh, gladly. I wouldn't want to stay near a bootleg Eiffel Tower any longer. Have a good day for you."

The blonde male left without any more words. (Y/N) sighed again in mental exhaustion, having to finish a lot of things this night. She was walking straight to her home while thinking of ideas to put in her current project when she realized that he was still walking ahead in front of her.

Where is he going?

She made her footsteps lighter, not wanting him to think that she was following him. She was thinking where does this guy live or why is he walking the same route as she does. It's not wrong to know where does this asshole stay, right? This continued for a couple of minutes before he turned around.

"Will you stop following me?"

Her eyes widened, not expecting him to know that she was behind him, "Excuse me? I'm just walking to my place?"

"Really?" He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

(Y/N) looked around to find a way to escape. There, she saw her house that she almost missed because her mind was occupied, "Oh, look. It's my house. I gotta go!"

She waved goodbye to the blonde stranger, ran to her apartment, and slammed the door, dying from the awkwardness. She proceeded to the kitchen to drop the food supplies and to cook for herself as well. The salt in the cupboard reminded her of the rude, four eyes that she just met again minutes ago. That's when she realized, she kept calling him either insults or his evident physical features when he probably has a name. She could've asked for his name earlier, but shrugged the idea off, thinking that he will never give her his name.

The common thing to do after graduating junior high is to find a decent high school. (Y/N) is scheduled to have her entrance exams next week, so she has to spend time reviewing her notes these days. She opted to go to the prefectural library the next day to get further references as she isn't satisfied with the books she has. It was Wednesday, thus it was full of people who are also preparing for their entrance exams. With her stature, it'll be easy to pass in this crowd of people but she will have to ask for help because she can't reach the books at the top of the shelves.

After wandering around the crowded library, she found an unoccupied table to quietly study. She made her way to it, carrying the heavy books she needed that was luckily located at the bottom shelves. As she set the books on the left side of the table, someone did the same on the opposite side. She looked up to see who the stranger is, only to find out that the person isn't a stranger to her anymore.

"Oh, the midget stalker is here." 

©4aloysius.porteu.2021. please do not repost, copy, or edit. plagiarism is punishable by law.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Tremors

Let's get you out of the sun for a spell.

Please move your fat ass.

Well, when I'm your age I'll probably forget what I eat, too.

How many cows does it take to make a stampede? Is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?

You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, nice full breasts that stand up and say hello, ass that won't quit. And legs, legs that go all the way up!

Yeah, well, I'm getting what I refer to scientifically as "weird vibes."

They're all the same; dead weight. Can't make a decision, can't walk because of their shoes, can't work because of their fingernails. Make my skin crawl!

Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

Twenty years of looking for a woman exactly like Miss October 1968, and where'd it get me?

Down, honey, down.

The way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get to survive World War III.

Right. We plan ahead. That way we don't do anything right now.

The idea was; we were ripping you off.

Now, you know I'm good for it.

Are we too easy-going?

If we're gonna take the plunge we oughta have a better plan than that.

Stop it! Stop it, you horrid animal!

God almighty, my mama sure didn't raise me for this.

You're the one's gotta have a plan.

What keeps us doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet.

You gonna stand there in broad daylight and tell me you think I'm the reason we're still here?

I'll call that little bluff.

Forget it, man. It's not worth it.

We did it! We faced temptation and we did not bend!

Last chance, asshole.

Jeez, look at that guy.

You're full of shit.

He must've really been drunk this time.

You damn fool, you owe me on this one

Well, whatever the hell happened it's just one more goddamn good reason to haul ass out of this place.

Hey, where the hell's that asshole dog?

We got a killer on the loose!

He's cutting people's heads off!

I'd high-tail for town if I was you!

The phone is out!

We've gotta get the police up here.

Well, there's sure as hell nothing to stop us now.

Is some higher force at work here?

Are we asking too much of life?

You on a booze break or what?!

Where are the bullets? Don't we have any goddamn bullets?

Hey, I don't want spend the night out here!

What the hell you doing back already?

Unreal! Where'd you get it?

It's disgusting.

So, it's some kind of snake?

It's dead all right. Tore the damn thing in half.

There's gotta be more out there, a lot more.

Slick as snot and I'm not lying.

Look, we organize, we arm ourselves.

We go out, we find those damn snake things, we make 'em extinct.

Might be aliens. Who knows?

Why go looking for trouble?

Phone's out. Road's out. We're on our own.

I'm dead. Let's finish in the morning.

Just keep looking at that beautiful sky.

Damn that thing!

Well, what's wrong with it?

You sure this is where it was?

God, what a stink!

Something's got me!

Oh, God! Get me Out!! GET ME OUT!!

Somebody stop it!

You want the rifle or the Smith?

IT'S GOT ME! IT's GOT ME! AAAAHGH!

You stupid punk!

One of these days, [NAME], somebody's gonna kick your ass.

Come back with the Sheriff.

Come back with the National Guard.

That means we're gonna be out here, like, in the dark.

Oh, man, I hate this shit.

Ride like hell.

How could they bury an entire Plymouth station wagon?

They're under the goddamn ground!

There must be a million of them!

It's gaining on us!

We can do it, we can do it!

We killed the bastard!

Did you just notice something weird?

Think it smells like that 'cause it's dead?

I think they shoot right outta its mouth, hook you, and pull you right in.

Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else.

I'm lucky it didn't find me.

This is like, well, let's say it, it's probably the biggest zoological discovery of the century.

Just look at what we caught here!

This is one big mother!

Come on, nobody's ever seen one of these!

There are five more of these things!

Five more?

If you compare the different readings, there have to be five.

There's nothing like them in the fossil record, I'm sure.

I'd vote for outer space. No way those are local boys.

The government built them, a big surprise in the next war.

How the hell's it even know we're still here?

It can sense the slightest seismic vibration, hear every move we make.

I always wanted to be stuck on a desert island. But somehow I always imagined, you know, water.

You know, I hate to be crude, but I'm gonna have to take care of some business here.

I'll tell you, if you ever wanted proof God is a man, this is it.

Running's not a plan. Running is what you do when the plan fails.

You're not even trying to come up with a plan!

Think it's still following us?

You go north, I'll go south.

Well, I'm scared, but I'm not sorry.

All right, I'm about as subtle as a donkey's ass.

You think we're not even safe here in town?

I think we should all get the hell out while the getting's good.

You should have a theory at least.

This valley's just one long smorgasbord and if we don't haul ass outta here we're the next course.

You little ass wipe!

You knock that off or you're gonna be shitting that basketball!

Where are we going to go that's safer than right here?

I'm gonna kick his ass!

Man, you got a gun?!

Big as a house!

Remember, no noise. No vibration.

Get off your pogo stick!

Go back, for chrissake!

Come on! Outta your pants!

Just run! Run like screaming fuck!

This oughta hurt like hell.

So, is that one of your usual jobs, saving peoples' lives?

How long till they go away?

Shut it up! Shut the little bastard up!

Quiet! Quiet you hateful thing!

Chuck him out the door!

Son of a bitchin' lowlife, putrid, scum.

I got enough food here to last us for weeks.

Jesus! Shut it off!

Can't you shout a little quieter?

How the hell long it take you to change a tire?

They're coming after you! They're coming right now!

Big monsters under the ground, [NAME]!

Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you, you BASTARD!

We killed that motherfucker!

Uh, be advised, however, there are four more, repeat, four more motherfuckers.

They got one! They killed one of the sons of bitches!

You're not getting any penetration, even with the elephant gun.

Never figured on having to shoot through dirt! Best goddamn bullet stop there is.

They can feel our vibrations, but they can't find us.

The bastards are up to something.

Oh, wow, man! No way! No fucking way, man!

They're gonna tear this whole town out from under us!

We'll come get everybody. Just hang on tight.

Since when the hell's every goddamn thing up to us?!

We don't have a hell of a lot of time here.

We need a helicopter is what we need, or a goddamn tank.

Jesus. It's slower than hell.

Couldn't we distract them somehow?

We need a decoy.

Hey, [NAME], you wanna make a buck?

We're gonna save our asses here!

Get real. I'm faster than you.

Damn. Guess I have to do it.

Watch your ass, shithead.

Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

You goddamn suicidal son of a bitch!

He'll never make it! They're gonna get him!

HEY, YOU SORRY SONS OF BITCHES, COME AND GET ME!

Goddamn good thinking!

Me next!

Get me off of here!

We got about three seconds!

God damn! Armored transport!

What do you think? Max firepower or...?

I'd go for penetration.

Give me a gun! I'll take one!

I wouldn't give you a gun if it was World War Three.

Underground goddamn monsters?!

Any sign of'em?

Maybe they're taking a dump.

What the hell are they doing? They're up to something.

I don't care what they're doing as long as they're doing it way over there.

They dug a trap! I can't believe this!

Hungry?! Eat this!!

Here they come! They're coming back!

They'll sure as hell get us if we stay here!

[NAME] do you have any more of those things?

Then, when the explosion happens, if it drives them away again, we all run like goddamn bastards!

What if it doesn't scare them? What if they don't run?

They're so sensitive to sound, they have to run! It hurts too much!

We're gonna run. Get ready.

They're too fast! You can't outrun them, no way!

It worked! There they go!

You asshole! There's no bullets in this gun!

Could we make it to the mountains?

What's the matter with you? What are you talking about?!

Those animals would have killed you!

You haven't seen what they can do.

They're not falling for it!

I'll make'em pay attention, goddamnit

We can't kill them all.

Use the fucking bomb!

This better be one great plan!

We could make some real money off this whole thing, get in People magazine.

Sell the movie rights.

You're really leaving, huh?

There's going to be major research up here.

And thanks for everything, you know, saving my life and stuff.

Civil? I'm civil.

You're not civil, you're glum.

We got the world by the tail with a downhill pull and all of a sudden you go glum on me.

Somebody paying you to do this?

She just practically asked you for a date.

God, my work is never done.

Fine, make the mistakes I did.

I think I'll just be playing this hand myself.

I'd goddamn worship her.

Can you fly, sucker?! CAN YOU FLY?!

[caswellprmanager]

the caswell wears prada

read it on ao3!

Summary: EJ's style is simple and functional but Ricky discovers he's capable of more than just letterman jackets and white sneakers. (Part 4 of my trans!ej and genderqueer!ricky AU.)

Author's Notes: I have this little headcanon that EJ used to model baby clothes when he was a baby. Then only went back to modelling once he transitioned to the point he was comfortable enough. Also not me giving Ashlyn's parents a purpose except for just leaving the house empty enough for Ashlyn to throw parties. Hope you guys enjoy!

Warning: Implied Sexual Content at the very end but since it's not explicit, I'll just let y'all use your imaginations.

Ricky has almost exclusively seen EJ in basic white boy clothes. It's usually just a nice fitting t-shirt, some branded jacket, jeans, and branded sneakers. It's not exactly avant-garde but Ricky can appreciate the fact that EJ has found a distinct style that's both understated yet elevates his already good looks.

But from what Ricky has learned in the few months that they've been dating EJ is that just because he dresses like that, it doesn't mean EJ does not have an eye for fashion.

Ricky learned this one day when the two of them were hanging out with Gina and Ashlyn at Ashlyn's house.

Ashlyn's mom was the Editor-In-Chief of an editorial fashion magazine that focuses on highlighting brands that promote sustainable fashion. She also runs a design company herself. Every other minute, she'd be going in and out of her design studio with a phone against her ear and a different meter of fabric in her hands. Her job is also the reason why Ashlyn's parents aren't usually home. Ashlyn's mom would be invited to different fashion events or she'd meet with a client about a new start-up. Ashlyn's dad accompanies her so that she wouldn't overwork herself.

None of that is new to Ricky. What is new, however, is EJ's involvement in her work.

"Ashlyn!" Mrs. Caswell rushes in, a hundred different scarves wrapped around her neck. Ricky wonders if she can breathe beneath all that cashmere and silk. "Darling, I need your help."

"What is it, mom?" Ashlyn asks, pausing the movie the four of them were watching.

Instead of responding, Mrs. Caswell just runs back to her home studio with a hurried click of her heels. Ashlyn looks at the rest of the group with a shrug, moving to stand up until her mom comes rushing back in – this time with a little purple hat perched on her strawberry blond locks.

"EJ, sweetheart! You come too. I need your opinion on a few things." Before any of them could say anything, she's disappeared back into her studio in a flurry of scarves and sequins.

EJ doesn't even bat an eye and moves to follow his cousin out of the living room. Ricky grabs his hand before he could leave, asking him what Ashlyn's mom wants his opinion on. EJ isn't exactly Paris Fashion Week, if Ricky was gonna be honest.

EJ just smiles, placing a chaste kiss on Ricky's lips before saying, "I'll tell you when we get back."

With that statement, Ricky and Gina are left alone, both feeling more confused than before.

"Does that happen often?" Ricky asks Gina, who is picking through the popcorn bowl.

"Ashlyn's mom being weird?" Gina tosses a popcorn kernel up into the air before catching it into her mouth flawlessly. "I've seen Ashlyn help her a few times. But I haven't seen her call EJ into that room before."

"Yeah..." Ricky picks at a loose thread on their jeans. "Didn't really peg EJ as the fashionable type."

Gina pauses in her pursuit of the perfect popcorn kernel and raises a questioning eyebrow towards Ricky. "Hold up... EJ never told you?"

"Told me... what?" Ricky started to panic a little bit. They never liked hearing ominous phrases like that from other people. It fuels their already present anxiety about dating someone who is way out of their league like EJ – someone who could leave Ricky at any time if they realize that Ricky will never be good enough for them.

Gina seems to realize this quickly enough and she tries to diffuse the situation before it gets worse. "Oh! No no no, Ricky, it isn't bad!"

"Then what is it?" Instead of answering, Gina just looks over shoulder at the direction of where the Caswell Cousins went to. After a few seconds of making sure the coast is clear, she tilts her head and motions for Ricky to follow her.

Gina leads Ricky to the spare guest room that EJ occupies sometimes when he doesn't want to sleep at home. In fact, sometimes this room is literally just called EJ's extra room because he's here so frequently. Ricky's napped here a couple of times so it isn't a new place. But he's usually too tired to explore it due to some recent emotional problem or another.

By the far wall is a dresser that Ricky hasn't ever thought to look through. Gina beckons him to come closer as she opens the bottom drawer.

"Ashlyn showed me this when I first moved in. We had to call EJ immediately after because I just had... so many questions." After a few seconds of rummaging, Gina brings out a small stack of magazines triumphantly.

Ricky recognizes the magazines immediately as the same ones Ashlyn's mom is the Editor-In-Chief for.

"Are those...?" Ricky asks and Gina nods excitedly, motioning for him to sit down next to her. The two of them peer through the old issues together, pointing at things they think would look nice on them.

Before they turn to the middle spread, Gina turns to them with a serious look in her eye. "Ricky, I need you to brace yourself."

Ricky tilts their head in confusion. "For what?"

"Just," And Gina can't even hide her giddy little smile. "Get ready."

Ricky can't even bring themself to respond before Gina is showing them the middle spread of the magazine. Their mind skids to a halt when they see a younger EJ staring back at them from the glossy pages, dressed head to toe in the finest three-piece dress suit Ricky's ever seen.

And it isn't just that, EJ's all over the spread – dressed in all kinds of outfits. From gorgeously crafted lace button downs to tastefully styled overcoats – EJ models the shit out of them. Ricky scans the pages in awe because they've never seen EJ wear stuff like this. Sure, they've seen EJ in a suit during homecoming but not one with embroidered roses across the vest or paired with diamond encrusted gold jewelry.

Gina turns the page and Ricky lets out a small gasp.

It's a two page Ashlyn and EJ spread – the cousins looking absolutely ethereal dressed in the most delicate fabric embroidered with flowers along the seams. Their skin is glowing beneath the sunset, the light catching at the highlights on their cheekbones. But what really got to Ricky is one very small but powerful detail:

The flowers along EJ's shirt and the makeup he's wearing are in the trans flag colors.

"Ricky, look." Gina points at the small interview portion at the corner of the page, smiling when Ricky reads it and realizes that it's about EJ.

E.J. Caswell – Teen Transgender Model

"I've been avoiding modeling since I started transitioning and coming back to it was really scary." Says teen model E.J. Caswell. "But when my aunt gave me the opportunity to finally speak my truth through fashion, I knew that I wouldn't regret this decision in the long run."

"There are still so many moments where I hate my body. It's gonna take a while until that goes away. And maybe it won't. Ever." E.J. tells us with a sad smile. "But this is a start – and I get to style some really cool clothes while I'm at it!"

When Ashlyn Caswell was asked about the significance of this project to her cousin and to future transgender models, she smiled softly, making it abundantly clear how much she adores her older cousin. "E.J. is one of the bravest people I know. He's always been an inspiration to me and I'm so proud of him for doing this on his own terms. Plus, I'm really happy he asked me to be a part of it with him. But don't tell him I said that! I'll never hear the end of it."

"She said that?" E.J. said with barely concealed glee. "Aww, Ashlyn!"

Ricky and Gina giggle at the mental image of EJ probably giving an exasperated Ashlyn a big bear hug after his interview. Ricky can't help but stare at the spread again, lightly trailing his finger over EJ's face with a soft smile. He really is so beautiful. Ricky sometimes can't believe that someone as gorgeous as EJ is real.

"Looks like Gina beat me to it."

The sound of EJ's voice by the doorway makes the two of them freeze and turn to see both Caswell cousins looking at them with knowing smiles. But Ashlyn and EJ weren't wearing what they were wearing before Ashlyn's mom called them for help.

Instead, Ashlyn was wearing a floor length pink chiffon dress with embroidered roses scattered along its sleeves and body. EJ was wearing a dress shirt of similar color and material, pairing it with white dress pants and a ruby encrusted rose broach.

"Well look at you two supermodels!" Gina squealed in glee, bounding over to gush over Ashlyn's outfit. Ricky stays rooted in their spot on the floor, their eyes never leaving EJ's. EJ approaches them slowly and takes a seat on the bed next to Ricky. He moves into an effortless pose, making Ricky blush more than necessary.

EJ smiles at them, eyes sparkling mischievously. "Hi."

"H-Hi." Ricky says, moving to face EJ with shaky legs. "You look nice."

"Just nice?" EJ leans down with a smirk, a lock of hair falling to his forehead like some goddamn romance movie. Ricky didn't even notice that even his hair was styled differently. Was EJ growing his hair out? Why didn't he warn me?

"I'd say something dirtier but I don't wanna traumatize the girls." EJ laughs at that and Ricky could only stare at the way EJ throws his head back with the most beautiful smile they've ever seen.

This isn't fair. EJ is sitting here looking like he was plucked straight out of a Vogue magazine while Ricky's sorry ass is on the floor in pajama pants and an old hoodie. Fuck. They should have texted Kourtney for help with their outfit today.

"You're so cute," EJ leans forward even closer, so close that EJ's able to lightly graze their noses together. "Maybe I should dress like this more often to make you blush like that."

Ricky contemplates on the statement for a bit, imagining what it would be like if EJ were to wear more designer clothes to school everyday. EJ right now certainly looks confident and cool. Plus, he gets the added bonus of Ricky looking extra flustered around him.

But at the end of the day, it's EJ's body and EJ gets to choose whatever makes him feel good.

Besides, Ricky fell for EJ without all the bells and whistles.

"You don't have to wear fancy clothes to make me think you're gorgeous." Ricky says before they can stop themself from saying it. But it's out now and there's no turning back. EJ's eyes widen but they eventually soften after processing what Ricky said.

"It doesn't matter what I think, though." Ricky says, reaching for EJ's hand. "What matters is that you're happy. Whether you're wearing a potato sack or Versace. As long as you feel comfortable and you're seeing your favorite self in the mirror, I'll tell you that you're the most handsome boy in the world."

Ricky scoots closer to place a soft kiss on EJ's nose before pressing their foreheads together. Ricky can't really tell who's smiling wider from this angle but they didn't care.

"My handsome boy." Ricky whispers, lightly tracing EJ's bottom lip with their thumb. EJ smiles even wider at the sound of that and it never fails to make Ricky happy seeing EJ so happy.

They're about to move in for another kiss when they hear Ashlyn cough from the doorway.

The two of them separate abruptly, both blushing profusely as the girls giggle behind their hands.

"We'll leave you two alone," Ashlyn says, grabbing Gina's hand to pull her back to the living room. "I'll tell mom you'll be late for dinner."

As soon as the door closes behind the girls, Ricky turns back to a still blushing EJ, a small but urgent thought manifesting to the front of their mind.

"I should take this off-" EJ doesn't even get the chance to finish his sentence before Ricky is pushing him down on the bed and straddling his hips. "R-Ricky?"

Ricky smirks, placing a single finger on EJ's lips as they lean forward to whisper in his ear,

"I'll help you take it off." EJ lets out the smallest whimper at that but Ricky shushes him, blowing against his earlobe. "But you have to be quiet, handsome."

As soon as EJ shakily nods his head yes, Ricky gets to work.

Unfortunately, they're more than a little late for dinner.

---

A/N: I've added some reference pics below if y'all want a better image of what EJ and Ashlyn were wearing hehe :>