#Neither abandoned nor Forsaken

[doulafaith]

Christ's Breakthrough

“His Abide”  Reading  Reflecting Responding To God’s Word while Walking it Out Context: Matthew 27: 1-66 Focus:  Matthew 27:51-52 “At that moment the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth quaked and the rocks were split. The tombs broke open, and the bodies of many saints who had fallen asleep were raised.” Matthew 27: 51-52 Definition: Breakthrough – a military…

[lullaebies]

For Aegon III/Jaehaera's requests: Aegon being nervous because Haera is having their first child and heir after a decade.

He can hear her screams of pain from behind the doors of their shared chambers.

He starts to pray the gods, despite Baela and Viserys' tentative reassurances then Haera calls for him and Aegon's feets lead him in front of the doors; the guards try to stop him and he orders them to not touch him.

They woke the dragon and the dragon will be protective of his mate and hatchlings.

When he enters, he is quick to be by Jaehaera's side

"My king you shouldn't-"

"I can and I will"

They had their baby boy🥺 and you bet that Aegon cries for the first time out of happiness, then Haera is there like: "Give him to me! he's mine!"

And doesn't allow anyone to touch their baby and you vet Aegon will wash his baby boy, much to the horror and amusement of the masters, midwives and Aegon's siblings

Aegon paces around the hallway in an attempt to calm down. He has been banned from his bedchambers for the better of half an hour now.  The Grand Maester and his accompanying midwives have tended his wife as she gave birth to her firstborn; their firstborn.

He is not a religious man, by any means of the word, but he prays under his breath. The gods had long forsaken him, laughing as they planted him on a throne of swords that had cost him nearby everything. But his wife had a woman of more faith, despite all she had been through herself. If the Seven are true to them, they would protect her.

Aegon hopes so, begs so, his stomach turning up and down. The toll of the birthing is clearly heard beyond the doors that separate them. Jaehaera is eight and ten, and they both grew plenty since their wedding, but she has remained a smaller woman to this day. Her pregnant belly had been big for her frame, he can’t help the dark thoughts his mind leads him to.

“You are going to have to breathe, dear brother,” Viserys tells him. “Births do not ever sound pleasant. This is a fact of life.”

Yet they never sounded so difficult for Larra, either, he wants to say, but he only frowns. If it wasn’t for the fact Lady Larra Rogare had left court a year prior, he may have said it aloud. Little Aegon, Aemon, and Naerys were left alone with only their father. The pit in Aegon’s stomach grows exponentially. This is a possibility, for Aegon too, and he had never trusted his odds.

Baela takes him by the shoulder. If it wasn’t his sister, he may very well flung that hand away. “You are going to look more dreadful than your wife when she gets out of that room,” she says straight to his face. “Calm down. I have done as much twice. Rhaena had done so six times. Your little wife will manage, she’s resilient, for all it’s worth.”

She’s neither you nor Rhaena. Resilient Jaehaera had been, but it hasn’t been without struggles. Aegon doubts she had ever said as much to anyone else but him, but this court had been a lonely place for her besides for him. She’s been changing it, step by step, and now labouring to change it definitively, but how alone must she feel in that room? 

Another pained wail comes from within the room. I can’t take it anymore.

“I am entering,” he finally says, escaping his sister’s grip. There are protests from all sides when he steps away from his siblings and to his Kingsguards. The bumbling fools in their white capes move to not allow him to enter, citing the instructions of the Maester, but he glares them down. He’s a full head taller than both, with a crown on his head. He has abandoned the days the Keep could rule him when he fired Lord Torrhen Manderly. “You serve the maester or the King, now? Move aside, or else.” 

The doors to the room open for him while Jaehaera is pushing, forehead wrinkled and sweatied as she does. All her attendants turn to him, but he ignores them and their words entirely.  Aegon only needs a few long steps to reach his wife, sitting beside her on their very bed. 

Jaehaera lifts her eyes to him, panting as he wipes her forehead and moves silver strands from her red-hued face. Grand Maester Munkun swallows as he moves to him. “Your Grace, you shouldn’t like to stay. Births are stressful occasions—”

Aegon does not listen to a thing the man says. “Aegon,” Jaehaera pants, fingers coming to clutch his sleeve. He gives her his full palm to squeeze. 

“—To both parents…” The Grand Maester slowly falters in his words.

“As I’ve noted,” Aegon answers, cutthroat. “I can stay and I will. Now mind your Queen before I find someone who does.”

The old man gulps in response, and scurries to his seat at the edge of the bed nodding. Aegon fixes the pillows under his wife’s head. The calls to push are difficult on his wife for a while, and he feels her using all her strength, the squeeze on his hand a testament to all her efforts.

Their child’s cradle is ready, standing by the window and illuminated by the sun. So many blankets woven for a child not yet born are laid within. Jaehaera had been waiting on the babe for so long, talking to her belly at times even, hoping the little one would hear. 

In comparison, Aegon had been almost afraid. He had worried and angered and anxiously dealt with the idea of a child coming under his wing. Broken wings, by most accounts. He has never known how his siblings had been able to heal the way they were, raising their own family in swift pursuit. Jaehaera’s losses, his losses, had made them become ghosts in the shells of their bodies for the longest while.

But he had grown into this shell, just as he had grown into his crown, and now it is their turn to rebuild. 

Jaehaera lets out a sharp yelp of pain, and Grand Maester Munkun lifts his head. “The babe is crowning,” he looks to the midwives. “Prepare the bath!”

Aegon squeezes his wife’s hand harder. Jaehaera’s eyes are bleary from tears of effort, but he feels he is the one who is in whirls of uncontrollable emotions. Jaehaera inhales in determination, readjusts her position and groans loudly one last time.

A babe’s cries deafen all other voices in the room. 

“It’s a boy,” Munkun announces to the room amidst cries of new life, and then looks at him. “A  healthy prince, Your Grace. An heir for the Iron Throne.”

Grand Maester Munkun is holding their son. Aegon doesn’t know how long he has been waiting on letting his tears fall. It could be from the moment he has been told Jaehaera’s water broke, and it could be from moons prior, when he had been first told Jaehaera is with child. There is some spell cast on him when he sees his boy writhe for attention, tufts of silver hair sticking to his head. It’s my…

The umbilical cord is cut, Jaehaera, despite her pain and fatigue, rises into half-sitting in a bolt. “He’s mine,” she yells at the Grand Maester, paralysing all attendants in the room. Queen Jaehaera, as the court knows her, hardly ever raises her voice. “Give him to me!” 

It’s their boy, first. Before he is an heir, before he is thrust into his royal position, it’s their son.

Aegon comes up from his place, and takes his son from Grand Maester Munkun before he could give him to any of the midwives. He is a big baby, eyeing Aegon with a stare of indigo. He has small, pouty lips, and squishy cheeks as red as all of his body is.

“Our son,” he says, placing the boy in her arms. Jaehaera holds him close to her chest, and finally, the stress on her face dissipates. Tears escape her eyes, but she smiles so widely. “He has your nose.”

“Hello. I am your mama,” she tells the newborn softly. The babe’s cries calm as they speak. Aegon brings a hand to caress his face. Does he recognize their voices? Aegon hasn’t spoken to him during the pregnancy as much as Jaehaera, but the nights he did, does the boy recall them? Aegon had been so afraid for his upcoming arrival, but now he has him and he can’t look away. “And this is your papa.”

It’s my family. 

And he loves it, so dearly, he will never let it go.

“Congratulations, little brother, and good sister,” he hears Baela’s voice from behind him. Both her and Jaehaera look up to her. His sister is mindful of their space, but ogles the little boy with a grin. Viserys is further back, trying to catch a glimpse of the child too. “The midwives are afraid to ruin the moment, so I must. Our prince needs to have his first bath before the water grows cold.”

Jaehaera licks her lips, rather hesitant to give the boy away. They share their reservations with only their eyes. Aegon thinks for a moment and kisses his wife’s temple before looking at all the attendants in the room. “Bring the bath here. I’ll do it.”

There are many variations of his title that come about in exclamation. ‘Your Grace’, ‘Your Highness’, ‘Your Majesty’ and so on and so forth, all complaints and concerns and whatnot. None of it matters, not even a smidge, when Jaehaera smiles at him, and gives him their boy in full trust. He holds him, swearing his arms would be secure for the boy evermore.

Because I am your father, above all else.

[rikafurukawa]

Lo, the hapless traveler, bound by cruel fate, wanders the inky void where neither time nor space obeyeth mortal law. In this forsaken realm, where light withers and shadows reign, her steps falter, yet her spirit remains unbroken.

The stars, mere remnants of a forgotten sky, offer no guidance. The very air is thick with the weight of forgotten truths, yet silence greets her every cry. No path, no hope of escape presents itself, for this place, abandoned by gods and men alike, doth bind her in its unyielding clutches.

The void, a prison without walls, speaks only of despair, leaving no refuge—only the endless dark.

[sgt-scottymoreau]

Nightmares (Halloween)

Summary: None really, only a small fic for the spooky season inspired by the Alone skin. With a small twist :)

Warning: None

Words: 1.4k // Masterlist

A/N: None

The wind blew in the empty deserted hallway. A few dead leaves rolled on the cracked cement as her boots crushed the ones who came under her path. Her flashlight paved the way in the darkness in front, to a certain extent. Scotty didn’t like to be here. A gut feeling telling her that she shouldn’t be. But she kept advancing, calmly. Whenever a door or an intersection approached, she carefully checked and made sure everything was clear. Her radio crackled. The voice that came through sounded muffled, distant. “Can you repeat your last?” 

“....looks…left wing…”

Scotty let out a groan. Radio reception was terrible here! Whatever was the order, she took a wild guess and went for the left wing of the building. Her steps echoed against the walls, the place being as empty as where she was before. Repeating the same pattern as before, every room was empty, safe for a mess of broken furnitures, papers covering the floor, water leaks, all that would make this place abandoned and eerie. “Scotty, do you copy?” Gaz’s voice finally came clear. 

“Yeah, glad to hear a familiar voice.”

“Likewise. Listen I can’t get a grip of the captain, nor Soap or Ghost. Do you have anything?”

“No, same silence. I did catch someone telling me to go left but it was so b-” A loud dial, screeching noise pierced her ear through the earpiece before Gaz was able to come back asking what the hell just happened. To be honest, none of them had any idea. 

“Need backup now!” Ghost requested. He showed signs of life! 

“Where!” She quickly asked. 

He gave his position and in a flash she was making haste there. First time she allowed herself to run since she sat foot in this forsaken place. Of course the atmosphere wasn’t creepy enough, the closer she got to him, the colder the air became. Her breath was fogging heavily by the time Scotty stopped. She called him a few more times on the radio, no answer. Neither from anyone else. She was alone again… 

Scotty gulped and returned to a more careful state, advancing slowly. Then it happened. A horrifying scream came from all directions. It didn’t sound like someone who was scared or in a fit of rage. No, it was this scream of pain, atrocious pain. Close to torture almost. Her blood froze, the grip around her gun tightened. “Ghost?” She whispered. No answer. She gulped. No reason to stay stationary, might as well keep going. The scream echoed once more. What the hell was going on?

A shadow flashed on the wall and vanished as fast as it appeared. Instinctively, Scotty turned her attention to this movement. She advanced, turned the corner and… found nothing but another empty hallway. A curse escaped her lips. This was getting ridiculous. Her light brightened the distance and a figure ran in front of her. Or two? Her thumb reached for the radio. “If you can hear me I need backup, possibly hostile at my position.” To hope that this message would reach anyone. Gun at the ready, she approached cautiously. Her footing avoided most of the debris. Her foot stepped on something hard that cracked under her weight. A glance and Scotty saw the bone. Part of her wished it was animal in origin, but on a better inspection, it was human. 

“Fuck, fuck… what the fuck it this place!” She cursed getting creeped even more. Another cracking noise from the back had her turning on her heels. She finally shone some light on all this. She held down a scream and stepped back. 

The man… or men? No, that wasn't human anymore. It shielded its eyes from the light with his mutated… one..two, three arms?! His vision adjusted to the brightness and it lowered its cover. Scotty felt nauseous all the sudden. The deformed, skin stretched, ripping in some place three headed monsters looked straight at her. “Ghost?” Her lips trembled in horror. 

His three melted arms reached for her, a groan came out in a strange anharmonic way from all the heads. No this wasn’t Ghost, it couldn’t be! He looked like he was fused, mushed together with different versions of himself. An experiment that went horribly wrong. Her heart raced, her breathing matched the speed as fear settled in her system. She didn’t remember the last time she felt this way. He moved on step, she adjusted her gun. “Stay where you are!” Scotty ordered firmly. Ghost stopped, his heads tilted to the side. Scotty tried once more to contact the rest of the team. Static over static. What was she supposed to do now? Shoot this monster down or attempt to be friendly? Was it Ghost or not? If it wasn’t, it looked a lot like him! The monster behavior shifted. His glassy eyes… six of them were focused on her. He let out a piercing shriek. Scotty let go one hand from her gun to cover her ear while turning to protect the other. He suddenly charged at her. Quickly, she fired a warning shot. That didn’t stop it. Scotty didn’t give it a second thought, she ran the opposite direction.

Her feet slipped on the floor around the corner, her hand grabbed the wall to prevent her from falling. The monster was always on her tail, his shadow projecting in a menacing way, reminding her that he was never really far behind. Scotty looked for an escape. Who builded this place? Hallways that stretched on and on forever! She jumped in a room, her gaze searched for a place to hide. She found a table and decided that it would be better than nothing. She crawled under the small space just as the monster turned to check the surroundings. His steps were heavy on the concrete, his breathing was ragged. It would be close to these zombies in the movies. Then it stopped. 

The room went silent. A deafening silence that scared her more than anything. He couldn’t have vanished in thin air, could he? Scotty didn’t dare to look, she held her gun close to her. A minute or five passed with no sounds. Maybe she was safe? Maybe… The three faces suddenly appeared right in front of her. By reflex, she screamed and kicked them away. The desk behind her broke and she made a run for it. Or tried. The monster grabbed her by the ankle and dragged her back. Scotty kicked it again. The jaw from one of the heads broke but that didn’t stop him. Her mind begged , urged her to shoot at the creature. But it was Ghost’s face. Faces… Despite how monstrous it looked... 

“No it’s not him!” Scotty yelled at herself. “You are not Simon!” Hands shaking, she aimed her rifle at the middle head. The muzzle on the forehead, she pulled the trigger. Another gruesome display. But at least the monster was dead. Panting, Scotty pushed herself away from its grip, tears builded in her eyes as reality of what happened hit her. Well what even happened? She was shaking, adrenaline slowly falling down. She had to contact someone. “Scotty in the blind, does anyone copy?” Another minute passed in silence. “Come on guys, this is not funny anymore!”  

The shadow grew bigger behind her. Her eyes watched in horror as it formed on the wall she was facing. The Ghost monster was rising! She looked over her shoulders. Stupid. Despite one missing head that exploded, it threw itself at her, jaws ready to bite. 

****

The scream she let out was enough to have him wake up in panic. Ghost’s hand flew to the light stand. He flipped around to see Scotty panting, eyes wide open in panic. “Everything is alright?” He worried. 

Scotty was awake but her body was always paralyzed. It took a good minute to be able to simply turn her head to look at Ghost. Her eyes frantically made out every one of his features. One head, two arms. Not flesh splitting into… God, it looked so real! Felt real. She regained sensation in her fingers first, then was able to move her arm to cup his face. “Y-yeah. Bad nightmare.”

“Want to talk about it?” Nightmares could be many things. 

“It’s alright. Just some silly thing. Straight out of a horror movie. I’m glad you have one head again.”

He frowned with a smile. What kind of dream was that? Scotty promised to tell him everything later, for now she wanted to sleep. She crawled in his arms. Ghost pressed a kiss on her forehead, stroked her hair till he heard the soft sleeping sound. Sure that she was good, he closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

[therookandthecrow]

I've cooked up another Rook to romance Lucanis with in the future. Let me check my list, because I'm fairly certain that I've created more Rooks to romance with him than I can count on one of my hands.

Nirasha is the first female Rook I'm planning to romance him with. There is a long backstory under the cut -- it took me a while (about a week) to fall in love with her as a character, but now I adore her. 🥰

Nirasha is a Dalish elf, but she wasn't always Dalish. Her life began in the alienage of Highever. Her mother Nera never told her much about her life before she met her father, Halen. She and her younger brother Eirlen were the couple's only two children.

Life was simple through her youthful eyes, while sheltered from the realities of what was expected of two elves serving a human lord, while treated and paid well, the unfairness of what stations an elf got to hold in life was remarked, even to her.

Stoically, her parents worked to support their children. The peace of her childhood was cruelly interrupted during the Fifth blight. The Lord, Francis Aldwir had abandoned the city, and with his home - and his elven servants.

Neither Nera nor Halen were skilled fighters, and when the Darkspawn encroached the walls of the Alienage - both perished to the horde. Their two children orphans in the blink of an eye. The two of them ran for their lives while the horde ravaged the remainder of those who were unable to fight.

The two children ran until they could no longer, and when they would find a safe place to rest and to hide, they'd run again. They hitched a boat from Gwaren, stowing away in the cargo - before landing in the Free Marches.

They'd stalk through the night, not allowing themselves to be seen by bounty hunters, Templars and by others who'd take advantage of vulnerable people during a Blight. When the orphans were able to run no longer, tired and utterly forsaken - shoes worn through the soles, clothes ragged and dirty...

They thought that they'd meet an end. However, a group of Dalish scouts from nearby Nevarra had found the two children of their people, huddled together with haunted, pale faces. The three scouts discussed among themselves in a language neither Eirlen nor Nirasha were familiar with before they beckoned them to come with them.

The two had to be carried to the encampment by the two stronger scouts, as the third scout looked pityingly at the wounds that the two have 'collected' during their journey. The warmth in the scout's eyes were the warmest that they'd seen since their mother's eyes.

The clan's Keeper took one long look at the two children before he gave a look to his First, who nodded solemnly before he beckoned them forward. It turned out that these two were not the first City elves to find their way to the Clan by way of tragedy.

Their old life was by all means over, but they quickly felt at home with the Clan whose scouts were so kind as to bring them in, as opposed to leaving them to die by exposure. Nirasha and Eirlen were once again a part of a family, although they mourned their parents - they were among their people, and they were more free than they ever were as city elves.

Fast-forward some years, Nirasha was highly distrustful of humans due to how Lord Aldwir had let her parents perish by the Darkspawn instead of taking them along with him to the safety of his second home in the Free Marches. The Clan itself she became a part of held a cautious approach to humans as well, making sure to not camp near human cities.

Nirasha's bitterness continued to grow, and she poured a lot of her energy into crafting, eventually getting a Vallaslin of June. She was never one to journey out much, and she never intended to join the Veil Jumpers; that said, the backstory for how the Veil Jumper Rook occurred, and the rest was, as they say, 'history'.

If she'd met Lucanis even five years before she'd joined the Veil Guard, I doubt that she'd have given him a chance due to how her interactions with humans have been for the first twenty-plus years of her life. Nirasha has a lot of trust-issues to work through, but hers are merely with humans.

I'd like to see her slowly become softer and more open around Lucanis and to become protective of him, even against her own will and against her previously held ideals to have nothing to do with humans, especially when she has to work with them to save the world. I can see her being cold and distrustful to Neve as well, who is Tevinter AND a human.

While Davrin may be the most ideal choice for her to romance, she is actually not too fond of the Grey Wardens, because my canon Warden committed many atrocities during the Blight - and in his lack of favor in her eyes, he recruited Loghain who'd sold Ferelden elves into slavery into the Wardens, and considered him a good friend.

I can see her looking at Davrin with a raised eyebrow of concern, as she wonders if he'd do the same thing - because she associates Wardens more with abuses of power than with saving the world from the Blight. That said, I can see her warming up to Davrin and considering him a friend after she gets to know him.

Bellara is an obvious candidate for her best-friend status, apart from being faction-mates, I just can see them getting along exceptionally. Another thing is, she sees how Bellara gets along well with Lucanis, and she realizes that if another one of her people can get along with a human, so can she - albeit reluctantly.

Little does she know is that her mother wasn't always named Nera, and that she wasn't always a City Elf. Nera was born in central Antiva, near the Arlathan forest, into a Dalish clan, but was taken at a young age into the Antivan Crows.

After a decade and a half of serving the Crows reluctantly, she faked her death and forged a new identity in Ferelden where she met and married a Ferelden city elf, Halen. Nera would sing Antivan lullabies to her children, and she'd leave Crows feathers under their pillows - although neither of her children ever figured out why.

I headcanon that she learns about her mother's past in her relationship with Lucanis, and she finds an affinity with him due to shared Antivan roots and where she can look past the whole 'elves vs humans' mindset as she falls in love with him.

Her mother, while she was a trained assassin during her life in the Crows had left that all behind, when the Darkspawn had come, she was ineffective of holding them off, unfortunately she never thought she'd need those fighting skills again. How wrong she was...

Oddly enough, one of the items that Nirasha was able to grab while fleeing was one of her mother's old daggers.

[lightup0nlight]

Surah ad-Duha gives us a message of hope. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala says:

🌺 ❛By ad-Duha.❜ What is ad-dhuha? It is the bright time of the morning. Allah takes an oath by this special time, the brightest time of the day.

🌺 ❛By the night when it darkens.❜ And Allah takes an oath when the night takes over, covering everything in darkness.

And this, too, is how our lives will be. We will never have straight sunny days, where everything will constantly go perfectly well. Neither will it always go bad, or worsen all the time eternally. These times will alternate with one other. After ad-duha, the night will come, the darkness will cover us; but ad-duha will soon return, and such is life.

🌺 ❛Your Rabb has neither forsaken you, nor hates you.❜ Not only will ad-duha come again, but even in dark times, our Rabb has not left us.

This is a message not only to Rasulullah salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, but to you and me as well. When things get really difficult, and we’re unable to see it through because of the darkness of the fitan (trials), remember that Allah has not abandoned us.

Just because things are difficult, it doesn’t mean Allah hates you. Just because you’ve had a bad past, it doesn’t mean Allah will never forgive you. Just because you’re unable to overcome a trial, it doesn’t mean that nothing good will come afterwards or out of it. Just because the dunya looks bleak right now, it doesn’t mean your akhirah is doomed to be bleak as well.

🌺 Allah says: ❛Who listens to the distressed when it calls on Him, and Who relieves its suffering, and makes you inheritors of the earth?❜ 【Surah an-Naml 27:62】

So do not give up on Allah’s Rahmah. Make du’a for His Protection and Forgiveness, while having good thoughts of Him. Remember this dunya is temporary, while the akhirah — your true, happy ever after — is for all eternity.

Your sister in Deen, Aida Msr ©

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Heretic - a Malevolent fic

What road remains for a man whose purpose abandoned him?

AO3

For @aktrashpanda, who drew this art:

What road remains for a man who lost his own? Who misplaced the one he was given? Who followed, sure, faith and sight fixed on what seemed narrow and true?

Aye, but that’s the wrong question. Here is the right one: what remains for a man whose road, narrow and true, abandoned him?

It’s an answer I never sought, for I did not know the road could refuse its rider. My purpose, my meaning, as I knew he was, left me behind. I woke without my road, and without my arm, my purpose run away. No one has seen him.

What road remains, then, for a man? The truest of all: seek and you will find.

#

‘Tis the newspapers which the Lord uses to shed light on my new way: the report on the mayhem up north, half of New York’s elite caught up in some scandal.

I recall… something about upstate. This is where my purpose was going next, and by God, it sure looks like he got there.

The story’s a good ‘un, rife with worldly intrigue, and the papers talk of nothing else. There’s murder, fire, underground rituals, strange masks and bodies no one can identify, and… Satan-worship? 

So it’s called in the reports about the mess our finest uncovered, yet that is not the devil’s symbol I see in these grainy photos. I know what I see, for it was in Arthur’s book.

I had time to study that book, to learn some new truths, and I remember what it was called: Malleus Monstrorum, the Hammer of Monsters. Between learning to live without my arm, and giving comfort to my sheep (who come to me for it, distressed by my injury and unable to offer their own), I take months to locate a copy. To track down the wayward brother in Dunwich who has one, and is willing to let me see.

And in that time, I find no comfort with my flock, or in my prayers, or on my knees. Neither with the host on my tongue, nor with sleep in my eyes. There is no comfort, for my road has forsaken me.

But the book. The book, blasphemous yet true: brother Andrew, muttering and mad, lets me see, and in it I find the symbol they saw upstate, and it leads me on.

He was not alone in his hard journey, brother Andrew, and from him, I receive names, clues, a way forward. I follow that symbol through paths and hints and secret codes, and I find the people who know what it means, and I walk this new road that seems to have found me.

Which it has.

And then, I find her.

#

She, who walks between. She, who thinks herself above creation, but is not; she, who, being so old, is so young, and has so much to learn. And I… know I am meant to teach her.

(Is it heresy to find a new purpose after yours got away? Is it heresy to seek a new path, to follow a different star when the one you knew has gone dark?)

She takes me from my life because I recall to her that same road which abandoned me; we’re both forsaken, left behind by him who gave us purpose and direction and hope. (Though she does not call it hope, I know what I see. What she lacks is not hope, but faith.)

She says he was her favorite. I say he was my purpose, and so condemn myself.

“I will keep you, little priest,” she says, not acknowledging that I sought her.

“I will use you, little priest,” she says, bidding me wield the skills the good Lord gave me, which she calls magic and I call penance.

“I will corrupt you, little priest,” she says, not knowing that I am already corrupted, and she can bring me no lower.

But I can lift her up.

Through her teaching, I learn to heal, and so can finally do good deeds to weigh against my bad. Through her, I meet and lead wild sheep who may never lay eyes on another shepherd through all their cursed lives. Through her, I travel, and see works and worlds unimaginable, and through her, I will be redeemed as I guide her to redemption.

(It is not the same as weekly confessions, the same humble faces masking repeated sins and perfunctory repentance. It is sanctification, active and pure.)

Arthur Lester was my purpose, but now, I see: he was not an end in and of himself. He was the road to my end.

“I should kill you, little priest,” she says, but she means it not at all. I am her purpose, and she’s mine, led together by one who had no faith of his own. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

“I will convert you, little priest,” she promises, low, and that I will not worship her makes her question what she knows.

In the end, we will save each other, or damn each other, and either way, Arthur Lester is to blame. I don’t know that he lives, but I have faith that he does—and I pray for him. I pray he finds his own road, and this time, that he stays true.

----------------

NOTE:

Psst… there's a way to support my writing now (and thank you Kraiva, Som, Charlie, Flamia, Bree, and more who encouraged me to do it).

[scribeforchrist-blog]

Not Broken, but Comforted 

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ James 1:16 So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters

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VERSE OF THE DAY 

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Isaiah 40:30 But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM NOT BROKEN 

I AM NOT TOSSED TO THE SIDE 

I AM LOVED 

I AM COMFORTED 

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READ TIME: 7 Minutes & 55 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

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   So, I got a 3D printer, and I can create all these things, but I couldn’t get it to work when I first got it. It took me three hours to set it up, and when I got it all set up, the first print I made was this little, tiny boat, and the top of it didn’t print, and I was going to throw it out because it wasn’t finish, but when I looked at it, I thought maybe I should keep it.

     The Holy Spirit reminded me that he didn’t  throw me out; he took me as I am broken as I am, and has always reformed me, always loved me, and sometimes we are done with people because they aren't on the level we are on, sometimes we are done with projects because it isn’t  going anywhere, sometimes we are done with friendships because the person  won't change but what we have to remember is God  won't give up on us, 

     God doesn’t say, I'm done with you because you're not where you suppose to be , look at, Peter. Jesus knew that Peter wouldn’t be where he needed him to be; he didn’t leave him, he didn’t shake his finger; he told him, look, Peter, you're going to betray me, and Peter said no, not me, lord and he still didn’t leave him when we are at our lowest Jesus doesn’t throw us away, he collects us up and comfort us.

  “Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavily laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

   The word says, come to me, and he will care for us even if we are heavily laden. He will comfort us and give us a restful mind, and no matter how cruel the world can be, he will still be gentle; his burden might seem long or harsh, but they aren’t . Jesus sees us as his own; sometimes we can feel the world is closing in on us because we are often not accepted by people, especially when we are genuinely following God, but God wants us to know that he is there through it all, he's there through the missed treatment, through the isolation, through the anxiety of life he is there. 

  2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

      The word tells us we are hard-pressed but not crushed. We can be under extreme pressure, but we are not crushed. A lot of times, we can feel this way because that’s what the enemy wants us to feel like. We are not winning, or we are not accepted, but we are accepted by God regardless of what is we have done, the word says we are perplexed: what does perplexed mean? We are filled with uncertainty but aren’t at a loss for hope. Our hope is in Jesus; we are tried on every side but not forsaken by Jesus; we will constantly feel struck down, but we are not destroyed. We are victorious, and that’s something we must hold on to. Many of us lose hope when going through it, but we have Jesus, and in him, we have victory.

   Victory might seem neither here nor there, and victory might not feel like it is ours, but it is; a lot of us have to realize that no matter what we go through, God is going to be there, but we must focus on him a lot of times we are lost in our thoughts lost in our situations but when we have no one to go to God is standing there saying I can help you just trust in me! 

   Verse 16: Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed daily.

   It says don’t lose heart A lot of our situations seem endless, like there’s no way I’m getting out of this, but God says don’t look at your situation, keep your eyes on me, don’t let what you are going through stop you from praising him, don’t let what your feeling stop you from thanking him, praise him when you're going through, don’t lose heart at what’s happening but stand your ground and tell the enemy that I won’t lose heart, that I won’t feel defeated because I am  VICTORIOUS in Jesus name! 

  Verse 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

  The word tells us again, don’t fix your eyes on what is seen but fix your eyes on the unseen, which is eternal that’s even with your troubles, don’t let your troubles be what you focus on; give them to God and allow him to work it out and a lot of times it might feel like you can’t let our troubles go I know it’s hard but the more we hold on to them the more we are telling God I don’t think you can handle what I have going on and he can if he can string the stars in the sky ,if he can create this whole world don’t you think he can take care of you? he can! 

  God doesn’t look at what we look like; he doesn’t throw us away because we don’t have this or we don’t look this way; no, he holds us and comforts us through our hiccups that’s what a true parent does through our hurt and pain he’s there to comfort us. 

   ***Today, we talked about how God doesn’t just throw us to the side; he stays with us; many of us have had people toss us to the side because we don’t meet their standards. The only standards we need to keep up with are God's standards, and he doesn’t have any; he wants us to come to him just the way we are so he can love us right where we are. 

   Psalm 73:76 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

    God's strength will never run out; we will run out of money, we will run low on energy, we will need to replenish a lot of things, but God love won’t stop neither will his strength , I can say I have been in some tough spots, and I thought I won’t ever see the end of this. Still, God shows me why I can depend on him every time. If you're having a hard time, you can also go to him and tell him exactly how you feel. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

======================

PRAYER

======================

Heavenly Father, thank you for today; help us be stronger and wait on you. Lord, we thank you for your love, grace, and mercy. Lord, help us to keep our eyes on you and not on our troubles; lord, help us to know that when we do have troubles, we have you, and you’ll guide us through it all and that we aren’t broken, and we aren’t thrown away because you love us through or mistakes through or deepest pain. Lord, we are so grateful, in Jesus' Name Amen 

======================

REFERENCES 

=====================

+  Ephesians 3:16 that according to the riches of his glory, he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

 

+ Titus 3:5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

 

+ Psalm 27:13: I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living

=====================

FURTHER READINGS 

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 Proverb 22

Job 32

Psalm 116

Joshua 17

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[mwolf0epsilon]

The Umbaran Pathogen - Day 21: Shock

Summary: While on their way to the basement floor, Kix's team is reunited with the rest of the 501st's medics. Finding a cure will have to wait just a little bit longer...

Warning: Slight gore warning due to injuries, but it's not overly descriptive (there is mention of a potential loss of limb)

Twitch belongs to @gaeasun Pitch belongs to @lost-on-kamino

Prev / Next

[In which the events on Umbara are worsened by an unknown pathogen taking hold of both the 501st and 212th. These series of drabbles will follow a non-linear timeline based on the AI-less Whumptober prompt list for 2023.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

---

The lift had been fingerprint-locked with a specific code for each set of prints that were logged into the security system's database. Neither Rex, Fives nor Kix had anything on them that they could use to slice into the system and bypass this security measure so, as a result, the trio had been forced to rush down flight after flight of stairs. Making them regret ever having climbed up a tree, to reach the exposed vents that were mounted up on the 11th floor of the hospital.

Usually running down a few stairs wouldn't tire them out this badly, but considering how grueling the campaign had been (for various reasons), suffice to say they were not in great shape at that exact moment. Sleep deprived, hungry and thirsty. And maybe a little cranky as well, which was more than a little fair.

That said, they were finally on the first floor. Sweating bullets and practically dragging themselves forward, while utilizing the facility's map to figure out where the basement hatch was located. Because of course the Umbarans had decided to make it hard for just anyone to stumble into their precious server rooms.

Nothing could be easy on this gods forsaken planet.

"It says right here that the hatch is in a tiny room behind the main lobby." Fives offered as they got closer and closer to the entrance of the hospital. Keeping an eye out, despite all of the halls they had traversed being virtually abandoned. "Probably so the receptionist can keep an eye on whoever goes in and out..."

"It's only gotten colder..." Rex sighed. "My HUD is giving off insane temperatures..."

"You know, the harder I think about it, the more sense it makes to keep the temperatures so cold in here." Kix looked around, his own HUD showing him just how frigid the halls really were. "A lot of terrestrial arthropods don't do well in the cold, and Dogma looked like he'd turned into some kind of insectoid. The infected would probably avoid coming in here because it'd mess with their bodies and senses."

"When you put it like that, the basement thing also makes sense." Rex mused as he kept on walking at an even pace. "If the entire building is cold, but one section produces noticeable heat, they'd try to break in and congregate in the warmer server rooms. By keeping them in the basement, they can at least mask the difference in temperatures..."

"Still sucks that we have to go down there." Fives pointed out.

They were now in the lobby, which was as deserted as the rest of the facility. Briefly, Kix wondered if maybe the staff had been evacuated once the two battalions had made it planet-side. Or maybe something else had happened while both armies went at it out in the woods?

He couldn't be sure, nor did he really ponder on it for long. Not when the entrance door swung open, revealing two very familiar figures carrying...

"Twitch?! Coric?!" Kix gasped at the state of the two standing medics, before his eyes focused on the two prone figures they were carrying on their backs. "Oh stars..."

"What happened to Pitch and Sponge?!" The second most experienced medic heard Fives exclaim, as he rushed forward to help. Settling the unconscious Sponge on the floor and noting their bruised and bleeding face, before moving to do the same for Pitch. Startling slightly when, despite not moving in the slightest, the blue-haired medic blinked up at him and darted his eyes about, trying to take in the scene.

"They're...." Twitch's legs shook as he collapsed onto his knees. All energy drained as he tried to catch his breath in loud shuddering gasps.

"Easy vod'ika..." Rex comforted the younger clone, kneeling besides him to rest a hand on his back. "Take deep breaths, like this..."

While the Captain took charge of the youngest, Fives muttered a loud curse as something suddenly occurred to him.

"Kark... Their buckets aren't on them, and their armor is pretty busted up. They're gonna freeze in here..." The ARC pointed out, seeing the poor state they all were in. There was no way their kit's thermoregulation systems were operative "I... Blankets. There's got to be blankets in a hospital right?"

Paying no mind as the ARC ran off to look for something to keep their injured vode warm, Kix instead began to assess the situation. Sponge had a broken nose, busted lip, several scratches and bruises, and their breathing wasn't sounding too good. Coming off rattly and wet-sounding, which he hoped was just because they were trying to breathe through a broken and bloodied nose.

Likely concussed to hell and back as well...

Pitch, meanwhile, seemed to be awake and aware but unable to move. Perhaps also unable to feel anything at the moment, since he'd definitely be passed out from both the horrific gashes on his face, and the huge gaping hole in his upper-thigh. Both of which were bleeding sluggishly.

"Dogma stung him..." Twitch mumbled. "He uh... He can't... Can't move or talk or.... Or..."

"Easy vod." Rex continued to comfort Twitch.

"Coric..." Twitch blinked tiredly. Looking towards the CMO who was standing there with his left arm dangling uselessly at his side.

Looking at his Ori'vod, Kix's heart began to race ever so slightly. He was still standing, but the wound on his shoulder looked bad. So bad in fact that he could just about see exposed bone. The way the arm hung limply also did not give him much hope that Coric had any use of it left, since the muscles and ligaments on the shoulder had definitely been torn off.

And then there was the far away look in his brother's eyes that gave him a lot of reason to worry. That glazed unseeing look that he mostly only saw on dead vode. Or, in some cases, the ones that just couldn't take the pressure of war anymore.

Resistant to stress his left nut and shebs...

"He's going into shock." Kix hissed, looking to Rex. "Get his armor off."

"But he'll free--"

"Now, Rex!" Kix barked out the order, giving no space for the blond to argue. Thankfully the Captain seemed to understand and moved over to Coric so as to begin removing his kit. Twitch joining in, the younger medic likely trying to use the repetitive motion as a way to ground himself and avoid going into shock himself.

"Fives, have you found those blankets?" He called out after the ARC, who was somewhere under the receptionist's desk fiddling with the drawers and storage boxes.

"Got some of those electric ones that we've got in the Resolute's medbay, and some emergency ones as well!" Fives replied as he held up both the familiar reflective material and a very large bundle with a wire and remote attached to it.

"Great! Bring them over, as many as you can carry!" Kix knelt back down to turn remove Sponge's kit and then turn them on their side to avoid any chances of aspiration. His fellow medic didn't need to drown in their own sick, or end up with a bout of pneumonia on top of everything they'd already gone through. "Rex, Twitch, wrap up Coric in one of each blanket. I need one of you to keep an eye on his breathing and heart rate, and the other to raise his legs up. I'm going to tend to Pitch and Sponge, and once I'm done I'll have a look at his arm."

Fives handed over two of the blankets to Rex, before moving on to wrap up Pitch who was watching quietly. Giving Kix space to work on Sponge, while offering the blue-haired medic some basic first-aid. Between the two of them, the other two and most injured troopers were quickly patched up and bundled up nice and warm.

Then, Kix moved on to treating Coric.

As he'd guessed, his arm was in terrible condition. With all of the damage his shoulder had received, it was very likely he'd be losing the arm altogether. Something which made Kix's heart ache just thinking about it.

A loud and inhuman sounding shriek outside made everyone jump slightly. Pitch's eyes immediately darted towards the door, while Twitch visibly tensed. The younger medic's trembling worsening considerably as he recognized the horrid sound.

"Oh crap, I think they're here..." Fives gulped as he squinted out one of the tinted windows, seeing some movement in the distance. "We need to get that cure, and fast..."

"We're down three medics." Kix pointed out. "Cure or not, going out there won't end well for any of us... Especially if they know they have us boxed in."

"They hit so fast..." Twitch whimpered. "They caught us by surprise and... And..."

"We get the picture kid..." Fives winced, looking towards the injured medics and back out the door. "We'll... Think of something... But first, lets get down into the basement and look for what we came here for in the first place..."

Things were not looking good in the slightest. But what else could they do other than proceed with their mission? Maybe once they knew what they had to do, they could then figure a way to change the tides.

[ddelline]

s(tory) i(n) p(rogress) saturday

blurb | sup tumbler, it's ya girl!!! ya girl who's popping back in here after being absent for a solid month n a half (not voluntary, believe me) w a wildly non-canonical slice of jjk!post canon!doomed yuri!bit. I've been tits down (ass up) in work & gigs but caught up w the manga & anime today, anddd........

.......ho boy. if I wasn't f*cking inspired to write depravity for cv(sm)/adsr ANDDD, anDD venture off-road into au/rare pair!hell after that. gege, I did not have an ounce of faith left in u. but wtf!!!! anyway here we are w/ a bit of (incredibly) rough nobamaki (no I don't go here so idk what the ship apprev is (nor am I clever enough 2 coin my own sexy-sounding ship shorthand))

premise | post-canon (wherein everyone who's currently alive stays alive, plus nobara (as canonically never refuted!!!) lived post-shibuya) wherein both kugisaki nobara and zen'in maki, somewhere between bleeding wound & puckereed scar tissue, learn that you can be simultaneously more and less than your heritage - and be better for it. plus yūji. bc it's yūji

She startles awake at dawn.

An approximation of dawn, at the very least.

It’s funny, Nobara thinks, viewing the world through a half lens: she’d berated all of her tiny, narrow-eyed and even narrower-brained town of Yomogita as being one-eyed—as in figuratively—without ever stopping for a second to consider a) the possible physicality of the expression, or b) that she might one day be one-eyed (now literally, not figuratively).

It’s day three post-apocalypse—because what other term are you supposed to use when describing the past couple weeks—when she stumbles out the door of her corner of their figurative dorm at ass-o’clock in the morning and runs smack in to the unyielding front of Itadori.

The physicality of Itadori is a fun house that’s been abandoned to its vices, lilting just on the side of forsaken more than unoccupied: he’s baby faced and peach-haired at the same time as he’s sixteen rows of abs and a set of quadriceps fashioned to choke, rather than scale.

Nobara twists left and slams into him, but instead of admitting to the loss and conceding that she’s still wholly out of her depth with only one eye (plus a coorinated set of PTSD-guided nightmares, give or take) she starts and jumps backwards.

“Itadori!” she barks. 

Itadori has the good graces (which she was never taught—or they never stuck, whatever) to look sheepish. “Kugisaki,” he concedes. “You’re up early.”

She sucks a breath through her teeth. “Someone’s got to pick up the slack.”

Itadori inclines his head. He motions haplessly outwards, as if to say ‘headed out?’.

He says: “Where’re you headed?”

Tomato, tomah-to.

There’s a fine line between actively questioning and passively acknowledging, though via noncommittal query, what her intentions are, at 06:48 AM.

Nobara acknowledges the soft cheeked, unyielding abs-and-shoulders dichotomy of Itadori; she sees only the snot-nosed silhouette of the baby sibling she’d never had.

“You can take a guess, can’t you?”

“Hm. I guess you can’t sleep either.” 

It’s neither pitying nor searching. Is a question that isn’t a question.

Nobara rights the waist of her skirt and smooths the lines of her shirt down. It’s just beginning to crease, the poplin cotton of the uniform shirt starchily pressed still, its perfunctory lines not yet worn down to the point of giving beneath the press of the day’s whatever burdens. “It’s morning. You thought you could sleep in, or something?”

Itadori tilts his sharp-boned, soft-cheeked face. He smiles. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

[thegreenleavesofspring]

My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

O my God, I cry in the daytime, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.

But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them.

They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were not confounded.

But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.

All they that see me laugh me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying,

He trusted on the LORD that he would deliver him: let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him.

But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breasts.

I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother's belly.

Be not far from me; for trouble is near; for there is none to help.

...

For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.

My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation: I will pay my vows before them that fear him.

The meek shall eat and be satisfied: they shall praise the LORD that seek him: your heart shall live for ever.

All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the LORD: and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.

For the kingdom is the LORD'S: and he is the governor among the nations.

All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship: all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him: and none can keep alive his own soul.

A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation.

They shall come, and shall declare his righteousness unto a people that shall be born, that he hath done this.

Please pray for us. It has been one catastrophe after another recently. Now my mother is stranded in her house in need of food and medical attention and will be evicted at the end of this month with nowhere to go. My family is stranded with no way to leave and we'll be evicted in August. It is illegal to be homeless with children where I am; my children will be removed by CPS, already breathing down my neck, and put in foster care.

To get my mother's car fixed would take more money than she and I have, put together and counting the pennies in my change jar. If I miss my court date for my divorce I forfeit the ability to file an at-fault physical abuse divorce.

There are no organizations that will help, no churches, no charities.

It is beginning to feel less and less like God is testing us and more like He's abandoned us altogether.

Please pray for us.

[undergodslove]

WE FORSAKE GOD & FEEL FORSAKEN

How many times have we felt forsaken by God? God said in Deuteronomy 31:6 "I will not fail thee nor forsake thee". God is not a man who lies : Numbers 23:19 ERV "God is not a man; he will not lie. God is not a human being; his decisions will not change. If he says he will do something, then he will do it. If he makes a promise, then he will do what he promised". We lie, fail, forsake others and God's will. Today, I had to confess and repent that I have forsaken God not the other way around.

I've forsook God when I didn't trust Him, obey the Bible, refuse to forgive, in doubt, unbelief, fear, not showing love, forsaking mercy, taking revenge and etc. The list is endless. Could it be that we feel forsaken because we have forsaken God, rejected our Savior Jesus Christ, ignored the Holy Spirit, left His will, abandoned fellowship with the church?.

To forsake, implies leaving in resentment or dislike; to relinquish, quitting, leaving meanly or treacherously; to withdraw from, to disregard advice, to renounce, and intending not to return, neglected and miserable in appearance or circumstances. Today many have forsaken holiness, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ to embrace the world completely without remorse. If Jesus Christ would have been like us, me (you) we would not be reading this right now.

Jesus didn't forsake his purpose when faced with adversity headed to Cavalry (Matthew 27: 31 KJV). Jesus longs for us to believe this very fact, that neither do we. God sent Jesus to remind us that this is done supernaturally (Zech 4:6 KJV). Its quite easy to renounce (forsake) the Bible for what this world offers: success, fame, fortune, and love without a cross or suffering. Jesus Christ suffered for us to receive his blood to cleanse and wash away our sins (Rom. 3:23 KJV). We are to be living sacrifices (Rom. 12:1 KJV) who endure to the end. A living sacrifice doesn't withdraw when it gets hard but looks to God, Jesus Christ our example, the Bible, the Holy Spirit, prayer, the sanctuary and other faithful believers.

I pray that we all come to a place where we see its best to abandon (forsake) the taste for the world and be lights in this dying world (Matt. 5:16 KJV). The only way this can happen is when we give up our personal rights as Jesus Christ did. The best life is a surrendered life offered up to God for His Glory!

[let-me-iiiiiiiin]

I am betaless :((( i am forsaken, abandoned, wretched, left aside on a wet pavement invisible to any passerby, unheard by any ear, felt by neither skin nor heart, and I am alone. so alone. my fic has been left bereft of a father, the icon of safety, the mountain that shields from the bows of an invader and soothes the child with the certainty of their grasp. I, the mother, am widowed, and my faithless spouse, the watcher of my babe, has left me desolate on the splintered wooden floor. they look at me from the distance with only their peripheral gaze, and I see them walk by. A passerby. And I am unseen. Unheard. Unfelt, unloved.

[just-a-wri1er]

Seraphima

Your skin as dark as oak, seemingly like coffee; dark.

Your eyes shine a light I've never seen.

Your eyes a deep brown, like chocolate.

A whirling pool I could drown in.

Your arms, for me, are open wide

With a love forsaken.

Your voice dripping honey.

It was a symphony for my ears.

But all this a blur.

For people will abandon us tonight,

And people will hurt us for the most innocent of things.

Love, is neither a poison nor a cure,

But two people accepting another even despite all one's flaws.

So as I open my eyes again

And see the earth once more.

My heart breaks not once but twice.

"Sera?"

Now I live with the alive, with a broken heart, a shattered person and half a soul.

With the half of me gone, half of me missing.

The moon is ever eternal, a Goddess, a beauty,

Isn't she, My lovely phoenix?

©2023 Debbie Duran. All rights reserved.

[theprayerfulword]

August 06

Luke 6:28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.

James 2:26 As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

Ephesians 4:26-27 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

Deuteronomy 10:18 [God] defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing.

James 3:17 the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.

Song of Solomon 8:7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.

May you give honor to God, and reverence to the King of kings, regardless of the surroundings, not waiting for traditional circumstances, but obeying the Spirit, giving what He directs, when He directs, for obedience is better than sacrifice. Ezra 3

May you not seek for, or accept, help from the arm of flesh or advice and counsel from the wisdom of man in doing the work of God, but search for the leading of the Spirit, Who knows the mind of God, and follow Him. Ezra 4

May you speak the words of God's revealed wisdom among those who are maturing into their full growth of love in Christ's Body, not bothering with the kind of wisdom the spiritual rulers of this age offer, for they are coming to nothing and are doomed to pass away. 1 Corinthians 2

May you receive and accept the workings of the Spirit of God Who knows the heart of man and searches the deep things of God, that you may understand what God has freely given you and express to each one around you those spiritual truths with spiritual words taught by the Spirit from the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2

May you share the simplicity of Christ's good news with all who hunger for God, avoiding strife which comes from jealousy and quarreling, but walk in peace, accepting all who receive the Lord with gladness. 1 Corinthians 3

My child, will you submit to Me? You have submitted to other, lesser authorities through your life, for purposes and benefits as varied as those to whom you submitted. I have shown you a glimpse, a vision of what submission to Me will bring you and the path that it will take you. You have responded in agreement when you saw the delight and reward at the culmination, My lovely one, but do not forget what I told you about the path required to get there. Do not plan to remove your hand from the plow once the furrow is started. Even though the way is hard, the work is honorable, and My provision is available. Know that you are not forsaken or abandoned in the field you are working for you are one of many whose hearts have leapt for joy to hear My call. When you submit to My will and walk wholehearted in My Spirit, depending completely upon the truth and authority of My Word, one can put to flight a thousand and two will cause ten thousand to flee. With willing vessels that are submitted to Me there is no need for a battalion; I lead you against an enemy that is already defeated and needs only to be routed. My work is often solitary, but it need never be lonely, for I am with you always. It is not by the power of your arm nor is it by the might of your weapons but it is by My Spirit, moving in My authority which has been given by the Father, that the work is done and the battle is won. When you are living in My Spirit, you must also walk in step with the Spirit, aligned in will and matured by practice. As you walk through your day on the earth, praying, conversing, sharing continually in your heart with Me in the Spirit, you are learning to walk in agreement with Me in the heavenlies. As you persist and endure, you will find that you are not only walking, but running and leaping with Me, My joyous one, for I long to lead you in the dance. Submit to Me, My precious one, letting your pride and self-awareness melt away, and enter into My joy.

May you call to the Lord your Rock, Who will not turn a deaf ear to you, for if He remained silent, you would be like those who give up and die. Psalm 28

May you call to God for help as you lift up your hands toward His Most Holy Place, for He will hear your cry for mercy. Psalm 28

May your heart trust in Him, and leap for joy as you give thanks to Him in song, for He has heard your cry for mercy and is become your strength and your shield. Psalm 28

May the Lord be the strength of His people, a fortress of salvation for His beloved, saving His people and blessing His inheritance, for He is your shepherd and will carry you forever. Psalm 28

May you acknowledge the Lord, Who directs your steps, and not seek your own understanding. Proverbs 20:24

[iviarellereads]

The Dragon Reborn, Chapter 6 - The Hunt Begins(1)

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(Wheel icon) In which we finally get a goal to strive for.

PERSPECTIVE: Perrin(2) didn't expect to sleep, but a stomach full of cold leftover stew tipped his weariness into a need for it. He wakes when Lan shakes his shoulder, and is told that Rand is gone.

When he goes out into the camp, Masema asks him why the Lord Dragon abandoned them, what sin did they commit, he must know! Perrin is like wtf dude, whatever Rand did it was for his own reasons, nothing we did. He wouldn't abandon them. Masema barely accepts this, and weaves his own reasoning, muttering that the Lord Dragon has gone to spread his word, and they must spread it also…(3)

P makes his way to Moiraine's hut, where she, Lan, Loial, and Min all wait. Nobody knows why or when he left, but he did leave a note.

What I do, I do because there is no other way. He is hunting me again, and this time one of us has to die, I think. There is no need for those around me to die, also. Too many have died for me already. I do not want to die either, and will not, if I can manage it. There are lies in dreams, and death, but dreams hold truth, too.

All he took was some clothes, his flute, some food, and a horse.(4) None of the guards saw him leave. Moiraine snaps that none of them would challenge him if they had seen him, anyway. Some would slit their own throats if Rand asked them. Perrin says she should have expected as much, forcing him to declare himself as she did. Rand would never name himself the Dragon if not for her influence. And, she said the Pattern would force him to the right path eventually. Is this it, or is he just trying to get away from her?

Moiraine acknowledges that she did hope that the Pattern would force Rand to move soon, but she didn't want him to go out alone. He's still nearly defenceless and ignorant of the world. Perrin asks who's to say he doesn't already know what to do, being what he is? Moiraine says there's the Forsaken to account for, and Perrin starts to repeat her words that they're bound in Shayol Ghul, but she cuts him off and says the seals are weakening. There were thirteen Forsaken, how many might already be free?(5) Thirteen of the most powerful Aes Sedai from the Age of Legends, all stronger and more educated than any ten living Aes Sedai.

P studies the letter again and says, hey, he mentioned dreams yesterday, too. Moiraine perks up and asks what dreams Perrin's had recently. He tells her of the dream of the sword he can't touch, and Lan whispers "Callandor". Moiraine tells Lan to go ask others if they also dreamed of it, then tells P he described perfectly the hall called the Heart of the Stone, in the fortress called the Stone of Tear. The sword is Callandor, the Sword That Is Not a Sword, the Sword That Cannot Be Touched. 

Loial sat up straight, bumping his head on the roof. He did not seem to notice. “The Prophecies of the Dragon say the Stone of Tear will never fall till Callandor is wielded by the Dragon’s hand. The fall of the Stone of Tear will be one of the greatest signs of the Dragon’s Rebirth. If Rand holds Callandor, the whole world must acknowledge him as the Dragon.” “Perhaps.” The word floated from the Aes Sedai’s lips like a shard of ice on still water. “Perhaps?” Perrin said. “Perhaps? I thought that was the final sign, the last thing to fulfill your Prophecies.” “Neither the first nor the last,” Moiraine said. “Callandor will be but one fulfillment of The Karaethon Cycle, as his birth on the slopes of Dragonmount was the first. He has yet to break the nations, or shatter the world. Even scholars who have studied the Prophecies for their entire lives do not know how to interpret them all. What does it mean that he ‘shall slay his people with the sword of peace, and destroy them with the leaf’?(6) What does it meant that he ‘shall bind the nine moons to serve him’?(7) Yet these are given equal weight with Callandor in the Cycle. There are others. What ‘wounds of madness and cutting of hope’ has he healed? What chains has he broken, and who put into chains? And some are so obscure that he may already have fulfilled them, although I am not aware of it. But, no. Callandor is far from the end of it.”

Perrin doesn't like hearing the Prophecies, especially since he was the one carrying the banner at Falme. No, further back: he hasn't liked it since the Portal Stone flicker journey convinced him his life is bound to Rand's. Loial says if Rand holds Callandor, then the world will have to acknowledge him as the Dragon. Moiraine says that even if he lives to reach Tear, he may never gain entrance to the Stone. Tairens have no love of the One Power, and even less for Dragon Reborn claimants. Even speaking one of the Dragon Prophecies is enough to land you in jail there. Rand isn't ready for this.

Min asks angrily why they're just sitting there, still. He could be out there getting hurt or dying while they wait. Moiraine says she must be sure before they follow. P asks why his dream says where Rand is going, and M says that sometimes, those who can channel can force their dreams on others. He didn't do it on purpose, she's sure, but he's got the power to show an entire village or city his dreams, and he has no control.(8)

Lan returns and says half the men remember dreaming of a sword four nights running, some describing the room and the sword in as much detail as Perrin.

Moiraine says she still wishes she knew how Rand left, and Uno says he found tracks. The earthquake brought down a wall of the hidey hole, and there's path enough to get a horse up and out through a path the watch didn't expect. Well, at least he hasn't learned to fly somehow, says Moiraine, then commands Uno and the Shienarans to go to Jehannah, in Ghealdan, and wait until she sends further word. He protests that they should go with them, to find the Lord Dragon, but M says they have to travel quickly, fewer go faster than more and most of the men are injured. He mutters but gives in.

Min says she's going, anyway, and Moiraine says no, she's going to Tar Valon, to tell the Amyrlin what's happened. She says she's doing no such thing, but Moiraine says that only a woman can get an audience with the Amyrlin without too much question, wait, or fuss, and nobody can know that the source of the message is Moiraine. Min flaps her mouth looking for another argument, but Moiraine moves on, asking if Loial and Perrin will come with her. They agree, in that order, Perrin with a little reluctance. She tells them all to prepare for their journeys, they leave ASAP.

Outside, Min asks Lan if he wants a message passed to Nynaeve, and he wonders aloud if everyone knows.(8) No, if there's anything she needs to hear from him, he'll tell her himself. Min grumbles about men being stubborn, then complains at P and L about how Moiraine told her and asked them, but Loial says she must already have known what they'd say. She does congratulate P on standing up to her for a while there, but Loial says it might be as good as kicking a hornet nest.

Min asks to talk to Perrin alone, and Loial leaves. P asks if Min sees anything about Loial, but she thinks it only works with humans. But, she's seen things around P that he needs to know about, and no complaints about not wanting to hear it, because they're new and might be relevant to this journey. An Aielman in a cage, a Tuatha'an with a sword, and Perrin with a falcon on one shoulder and a hawk on the other, both female. She doesn't know what they mean, but they're important. Also, if he meets the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, RUN.(9)

Perrin adds up some of the things he's heard Min say in the last few days, and awkwardly tells her he likes her but as a friend, or a sister. She says she feels the same way, the great lummox, and what arrogance of him to presume. P asks if it's Rand, then.

She made a sound in her throat and gave him a sidelong look. She did not slow down, though. “Maybe you aren’t so boneheaded after all,” she muttered. After a moment she added, as if to herself, “I’m bound to him as surely as a stave is bound to the barrel. But I can’t see if he’ll ever love me in return. And I am not the only one.” “Does Egwene know?” he asked. Rand and Egwene had been all but promised since childhood. Everything but kneeling in front of the Women’s Circle of the village to speak the betrothal. He was not sure how far they had drifted from that, if at all. “She knows,” Min said curtly. “Much good it does either of us.” “What about Rand? Does he know?” “Oh, of course,” she said bitterly. “I told him, didn’t I? ‘Rand, I did a viewing of you, and it seems I have to fall in love with you. I have to share you, too, and I don’t much like that, but there it is.’ You’re a wooden-headed wonder after all, Perrin Aybara.” She dashed a hand across her eyes angrily. “If I could be with him, I know I could help. Somehow. Light, if he dies, I don’t know if I can stand it.” Perrin shrugged uncomfortably. “Listen, Min. I’ll do what I can to help him.” However much that is. “I promise you that. It really is best for you to go to Tar Valon. You’ll be safe there.” “Safe?” She tasted the word as if wondering what it meant. “You think Tar Valon is safe?” “If there’s no safety in Tar Valon, there’s no safety anywhere.”(10) She sniffed loudly, and in silence they went to join those preparing to leave.

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(1) I thought the hunt was last book. (2) You know, I think it's a real interesting choice to tell us all this from outside Rand's POV. Do you think we'll see from his POV at all this book? Certainly, last book we spent a good deal of time there, but so much less than the first book. You may be asking yourself, "but he's the MAIN CHARACTER, how can the story not be about him, just about trying to find him?" and I'd have to answer with one of Robert Jordan's favourite phrases: RAFO. Read And Find Out, that is. (3) No, Masema, what the world needs now is NOT evangelism. (4) Well, probably good that Thom let him keep the flute last book. "You might need to earn your supper again someday" indeed. (5) How many, indeed? Does she not know about Lanfear? Why wouldn't Min and Rand have told her by now? (6) Indeed, the only particularly important leaf mention we know of so far is the Way of the Leaf, but Rand isn't connected to the Tuatha'an at all, only the Aiel. We've had Avendesora leaves for chapter icons, but they're mostly related to the Ogier and woodcraft, again not things Rand's demonstrated a connection to. (7) We HAVE seen "nine moons" before, the Court of the Nine Moons is the Seanchan royal court. (8) Sir, you haven't exactly made a secret of it. (9) Smart, Min, but only telling him that much just makes him more intrigued as to why he might meet a beautiful woman and why he should run. Especially since he's already seen someone who might be her in his dreams, though you couldn't know that. Do you think this was because of a vision, or not? To me, it seems like it's disconnected from the visions she had. If it's from a vision I feel like it was a fresh one there as she said it. But, she also met Lanfear last book, just for a moment, and Min knows Lanfear wants Rand and may follow him at times, just as Perrin and co are about to. (10) I don't know, folks, do you think that's true? Is there safety anywhere?