#Neil josten is a fucking menace

[ameboubou]

I mean yeah we all know that Neil is a good liar and all, but I think sometimes we forget to what extent.

Like he got literally plucked from class one day and put in front of his father’s boss, totally unprepared, and put on an oscar-winning performance of a lifetime. Bitch was like “I am not saying your brother is out of line my lord 😔😔😔 I am afraid of what will fall back on you 🤔🫢 🤧” and fucking manage to convince ichirou to kill his own brother.

What a man…

[screechin-outloud]

you know, i get it

🎤😮‍💨:

🫵 👤💡, 🙋 🤝 🤷‍♂️. 👶 ⬆️🧑🏻‍🍼🪺 ➡️ 🦸🏻‍♂️🌟 😓 💯, 💯 🤯 4️⃣ 🫵. 🕰️ 🪙💱, 🚫 👨, 🚫 🚹 📥 🫵 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 🤔 🫵 💎 🚫🤑 📤 🥍 🏯— 😮‍💨, 🗣👂 💪🏼😱. 🧑🏻📅 ➕️ 🙋 💬 🫵 🤨📊 ➕️ ❌️🔚 👨‍🦳🚩 ♾️ 🕰️. 🙋 💡 👉 ❌️ 🌍 🫵 🐈‍⬛🫗 🫵 🧠 😵⚖️ ➕️ 🦠🤧 🔄 🤪 📴 🤴🏻🥇, ➕️ 🙋 🧠 🫵 👣 🚫 🤲 👍 💬 🔄 🚹 👍 💯👥️ ✅️ 👨🥫, 🍑 🙋 ❌️ 🤔 👥️ ⬅️ 🤷 👉➡️👈 🫳 🆙️ 🟰 📈 📴 🫵 🐂💩. 🥺 🔛 👤🎁 🫵 🆘️ 📈 🛟🙏, ➕️ 🫵 🔚 🆙️ 🧮 6️⃣ 🤬 ⏮️. 🪚 🤌, 🤌, 🤐🖕🆙️ ➕️ 👉🚪 🧑‍🤝‍🧑🤾‍♂️ ⬅️ 🧑‍🤝‍🧑.

🫳🎤

[iambecomeyourvillain]

no but imagine neil and andrew working out with the team and matt thinks it would simply be hilarious to make these oblivious idiots partake in social media trends so he convinces neil, who's a MENACE, and the next thing the foxes know neil -Always Has Something Up His Sleeve- josten is casually walking up to andrew -I'll Stare You Down Until You Die- minyard while he's doing push ups or bench press or whatever the fuck they call it and procuring a strip of fucking baby pink ribbon from his pocket and bending to tie it around andrew's bicep and andrew just. stopping mid pushup or whatever he's doing to stare at neil the whole time with the most unbelievable look on his face. neil, on the other hand, just gives him the prettiest fucking smile (which captivates the hell out of andrew like always) with the most mischievous look ever, finishes tying the ribbon, gets up and walks away with a twinkle in his eyes I'M SORRY I CANNOT STOP THE VISUALS SOMEONE SEND IMMEDIATE HELP

(p. s. andrew doesn't take the ribbon off and glares daggers at anyone who even tries to mention it. matt is having the time of his entire life)

[ifitmeanslosingyouthenno]

left my heart with you

day 30 whumptober prompt: recovery | hospital bed | holding back tears | “what have i done?”

the beeping and groaning of machines is the first thing andrew hears when he wakes up, the first of his senses to come back online

wait, wait, wait… rebooting… back online!

all at once, his senses are flooded with stimuli

he can smell the strong scent of antiseptic and bleach, can feel the burning of harsh lights above through his eyelids, can taste the remnants of blood on his tongue, and can feel the roughness of a cheap blanket below his hands

the worst of all is he can feel the pain

fucking hell

why is he in so much pain?

through a haze of muddled thoughts, he forces his eyes open, staring at white ceilings and white walls and the white nothingness of a hospital room

he tries to recall what landed him here this time, and is unpleasantly surprised to find out he can’t actually remember what happened

huh

what’s the point of eidetic memory then? how come he gets to keep the horrible memories and not remember what happened that had him come to the hospital?

neil must know

still dazed, he forces himself to look around the room for his redheaded menace

his confusion grows when neil is nowhere to be seen, but instead he’s face to face with his mirror image

andrew’s brows furrow when he stares at aaron and his red rimmed eyes and runny nose and the dark bags under his eyes

andrew must be worse off than he feels if aaron is this affected

he has to figure out why

but first

“where’s neil?”

his voice is croaky, as if he hasn’t used it in a while, and he’s surprised to find his throat is scratchy

aaron’s head snaps up to meet his eyes, and where andrew expected relief, he’s met with barely concealed grief

alarms are starting to blare inside his head, but he can’t quite put a finger on why

“andrew! you’re awake, you’re– how are you feeling? how’s the pain? do you want me to call a nurse–”

“stop, aaron, just–” andrew stares at aaron, whose facade is crumbling fast, whose eyes are watering, whose lip is trembling

he’s holding back tears

andrew moves to sit up on the bed, but agonizing pain tears him through the abdomen, and he hisses at the sharpness of the sting, unlike anything he’s ever felt

“no, andrew, don’t get up, you’re– you had to have surgery, you’re in recovery, you can’t get up yet”

it doesn’t sit well with andrew to obey, but he’s not sure he’s physically able to get up anyway, so he settles down reluctantly

was it the cheerleader? was she hurt somehow? did she hurt him?

“what the fuck happened? why are you crying? did someone hurt you?”

that, if anything, makes aaron fall short (hah), as he halts and even stops breathing staring at andrew with those teary fucking eyes, wide open and pained

andrew is about to try to sit up again before aaron speaks

“do you… do you not remember what happened?”

that makes andrew stop, just for a second, to try and put together the pieces

he… he thinks he was in the car, going… somewhere– going to dinner at aaron’s

he sees bright lights, there’s the sound of glass breaking, something… something sharp somewhere

frightened blue eyes

andrew’s head snaps towards aaron, whose lip keeps trembling, whose eyes shine the brightest with those unshed tears

“aaron where is neil?”

he feels more than hears aaron’s sharp breath

dread pours over him, threatening to drown him, threatening to pull him under

“andrew you– you guys were coming to dinner at mine and katelyn’s, you– you were driving on the highway– you were driving on the highway, when a truck going the other way lost control of the breaks and–”

aaron stops talking, teeth clashing closed together so hard that andrew thinks they break

yes, let them break

if aaron doesn’t have teeth, he can’t speak

if he can’t speak, he can’t say it

if he can’t say it, neil will be alright

neil is alright, he’s fine

he’s neil abram josten, he’s always fine

“andrew–”

“don’t”

“andrew, i’m so sorry–”

“don’t say anything”

“the truck was supposed to hit the car on the driver’s side, but somehow, the car got turned around in time for it to hit the passenger side instead, your car got crushed between an eighteen wheeler and concrete, you suffered severe internal injuries but–”

“don’t fucking say it, aaron”

“– i’m so so so fucking sorry andrew but neil didn’t make it” 

aaron’s voice breaks and andrew can’t fucking breathe

neil didn’t make it

neil didn’t make it

neil didn’t make it

“no, no that can’t be true, he’s neil, he’s– he’s survived everything, and he’s always fine, he’s neil”

“andrew,” aaron’s voice is so small, andrew is forced to look at him, to look at the fresh tear marks that have finally won the fight, “neil was dead before the ambulance even arrived”

no no no no

“no, but– he’s neil, he always makes it, he–”

“andrew, neil is dead, he’s dead, he’s gone”

no no no no–

the truck was supposed to hit the car on the driver’s side

“this is all my fault”

“no– andrew, this is not your fault, this isn’t on you–”

“neil is dead–” his voice breaks without him realizing it, he’s lost control, “he’s dead because of me

“andrew–”

tears flood andrew’s eyes, but he offers no resistance to them, and they pour down his face in streams, an outpour, a torrent, overflowing and suffocating and heavy

“what have i done?”

“andrew this wasn’t your fault–”

“what have i done?”

aaron is there, teary and grief-stricken and holding him close to his chest

andrew can’t feel anything beyond the agony, the all encompassing guilt, the shattering of his heart

he can’t fucking breathe

what have i done?

oop sorry lmao

title from someday somewhere my palace

[paradoxolotl]

i know it's basic but i need to know what was going through andrew's head when he hears that aaron asked neil to kiss him in the jeans fic (im so sorry i can't actually remember the complete name of the fic in my mind its saved as the gay jeans fic)

Specific Fic Asks

I absolutely can do this for you anon ~ for It’s in the Jeans

~

Andrew’s life could be boiled down to three points of orbit:

His brother, Aaron. A minor pain in the ass on any day of the week that ended in y. Also the person who Andrew had crawled through hell with to build some semblance of normalcy. So for him, Andrew kept his complaining to a minimum.

Secondly, the neighbourhood stray cat. Andrew called it Worm. He also fed it after school every day, crouched in the bushes breaking up bits of ham with the paranoia levels of a small rodent.

And then there was Neil Josten. A major pain in Andrew’s ass every moment of every day, who was probably more feral than any street cat could dream to be. He’d complain more, used to complain more, but Andrew had recently found a better use of his time.

Because Neil’s kisses were a mind numbing, bone buzzing, oh too sweet addiction. Nothing in Andrew’s life had ever been as viciously satisfying as having Neil beneath him, one hand tipping the menace’s head back for a better angle, the other ghosting fingertips across the sensitive skin of his stomach just to feel the muscles jump.

It was too easy to lose himself in this, in Neil. Minutes were meaningless, the world falling away, and Andrew found himself halfway drunk with just Neil’s mouth against the skin of his neck. Nothing on earth could pull him from this moment, his Eden. Nothing-

There was a clattering bang from Aaron’s room. Odd enough to rip Andrew from the haze clouding his mind. But when no other noises followed, no cries of distress, it only took his name, whispered quiet and reverent, to pull him back to Neil. The fingers on his jaw helped him along, until he was sinking sinking drowning.

“I tried!” This time, not even Neil’s breath on his neck or hands in Andrew’s hair could distract him from Aaron’s shout.

Annoyance flicked up within him, simmering in his blood. Whatever fucking melodramatic bullshit Aaron found himself floundering in could not be worth-

“I asked Neil to kiss me-”

The thing about Andrew was this: he didn’t care about much. Most things in his life were revolving time passers, some more pleasant than others. But when he found something that burrowed past everything else, something worth calling his, Andrew cared a whole damn lot. Some might call it obsessive, concerning, unhealthy. Bee called it a trauma response. Andrew called it practical, because those few things he cared about could be taken away too quickly, too easily.

And the thing about Neil was this: he was Aaron’s before he was Andrew’s.

Andrew’s hand slammed into the wall before he registered what his body was doing, the beat of his heart slamming from excited to pretending not to panic. An unfortunate event, due to snapping both Aaron and Nicky’s attention to him and his complete loss of composure. Part of him wanted to glance back, to see if he really had just abandoned Neil to throw himself into whatever fucking mess this was, but Andrew’s brain was still screaming WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK RED ALERT on full power.

He knew Nicky was saying something, the noises hitting his ears, but he couldn’t process them. Eyes locked on his twin, Andrew all but demanded, “What did you just say?”

By Aaron’s concerned confusion, Andrew had clearly missed the mark. “The fuck were you doing?”

Neil, he thought. But he couldn’t very well say that to Aaron, especially when Aaron wore the same expression he did when they had watched a man sprint from beneath a bridge and disappear into the woods when they were ten. Quickly righting himself, Andrew attempted to infuse his voice with his usual nonchalance. “Nothing,” he said. Completely fine, totally normal. Not weird at all. “What did you say about Neil?”

For a moment, Aaron narrowed his eyes at him. As if Aaron had ever been able to break Andrew with his judgement. But then he shrugged, and Andrew felt his stomach drop with the cocky smile that spread across his face. “Oh, just asked if I could kiss him. No big deal.” Smug. Smiling. Bastard. “Why?” Aaron asked. Like an asshole. “Did you need something?”

Yeah, Andrew needed the world to stop falling from beneath his feet. Because Neil was a prickly fucker, untrusting and vicious. He held his people just as tightly as Andrew held his. Andrew spent years studying him, falling hard and fast and lasting, but the one thing that remained elusive was why Neil had fallen for Andrew too.

And deep down, a small voice whispered that if anyone could catch Neil and take him from Andrew, it would be Aaron.

Only one person had ever been able to quiet that voice. What did Andrew need? He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, back to Neil. “Yeah. I just-“ Nope. Uh huh. Brain hadn’t reset yet. Abort. Abort, Minyard. “Need to-“ Phenomenal. His mouth just wouldn’t stop. Is this what Neil felt like?

Well, time to abandon ship.

He didn’t feel any steadier when the door closed behind him, but his eyes zeroed in on Neil. Still sprawled on his back on Andrew’s floor, he looked up with a crooked smile, laughter tucked into the corners.

“Oh, right,” he said softly, unapologetic. “Your brother asked to kiss me.”

Andrew swallowed. His throat clicked. His shoulders pressed harder against his door.

At the silence, Neil’s smile turned a little softer. “I said no.”

“You said no.” His voice remained flat, neutral in the way he always used when expecting something to hurt.

Sighing, Neil rocked his knee in the air. Not jittery. Not nervous, just…moving. “Because I didn’t want to.”

“I asked you,” Andrew said.

Neil hummed. “And I wanted to. Still do, if you ever decide I’m more interesting than your wall. Or I could leave and you can brood and mope or whatever people with on overgrown sense of doom and despair do.”

“Really?” Andrew asked, even as he pushed off the door, falling back on top of Neil and into his grin. “You’re not funny.”

“Never said I was,” Neil said, words a laugh.

Neil had always been a point of clarity. An impossible piece in Andrew’s life he could never stray from, despite his efforts in the beginning.

His hands found their home in Andrew’s hair, dimple flickering out alongside his mirth. Quietly, he said, “It’s just you, Andrew.”

And Andrew believed him, and let everything else fall away.

[paracosmicparadox]

Listen, I have read and reread AFTG (there are objectively better comfort books to have, I am aware; I did not choose this fate) and one of the biggest hooks this damn series has in me is the sheer feral-ness Neil Josten possesses in his 5'3 little body. Like, broski knows that by signing onto a regularly televised college team he's gonna get found by SOMEONE. He acknowledges this more than once and KNOWS it was a stupid decision that went against everything Mary taught him. Does this stop him? Fuck no. Dude's here to play a sport; if it kills him, it kills him.

And then there's the whole deal with Riko, and that just kinda seals the deal? I don't get attached to that many MCs, but I love this little ginger asshole so. damn. much. He's perfect. He's a confrontational jerk and I am here for it. I love pretty much the entire team, don't get me wrong (I could go on about my sheer adoration for Andrew and Wymack for hours), but Neil? Hands down one of my favorite unreliable narrators out there. Possibly my favorite. He's a menace and he lives in my brain like a parasite.

[plutoslvr]

do you ever just think about kevin day like. do you think about "Riko reached for Neil but Kevin caught his arm to stop him." and "Did you know I've never been skiing? I'd like to try it one day though" and "Let Riko be king [...] I'll be the deadliest piece on the board" and "fuck him. fuck all them waste of time to be angry. they should be afraid." and "Kevin ignored him until riko said something else, then slid a cool look Rikos way and answered" and "ten-nine, foxes favor- Kevin had scored in the last 2 seconds of the game." and-

[rainsoakedhello]

Emerging from the shadows to drop this here — my take on Neil from quicksand by likarecord!

Link for MUCH better quality

Fun fact: this is over 25 hours and 32k brush strokes of pure determination

[thespineoftherighteous]

kinda struck sometimes with how big it is that Neil played such a significant role in Tetsuji stepping down from his position.

that man co INVENTED exy. not only was he the coach and face of the number one team in the entire country, he was the only remaining living person to be credited with literally having come up with the entire sport- the sport that Neil lives for, the sport that- in barely thirty years- blew up around the WORLD to the point where it became part of the OLYMPICS. like, he may be a wussy little bitch but he is 100% A Big Deal (in terms of exy and wealth and probably general renowned popularity).

and Neil gets him fired.

"You have cost the Ravens their coach and their captain."

this nobody nothing fiery little Neil Josten gets powerful ass tetsuji moriyama fired from the job the dude literally created for himself after calling for his retirement on live fucking television. when Neil was even more of a nobody. like...

fuck it up, babe.

[dreamter]

in theory. i would like to write tonight. no promises but this is a plotting call. like this and ill come message you. or fill out my interest tracker. that would be sexy

[liecraves]

picture this: british bake off au. foxes edition.

andrew, renee, neil and kevin are invited to participate as celebrity guests, and they’re very different bakers. 

andrew’s experience with baking consists of just eating the baked goods. however, because of his brilliant memory, the recipes are ingrained in his memory and therefore, he’s excellent at it. there’s a catch though. once he’s being judged, there are complains about how sweet everything is. his response is “there’s no such thing as a cake being too sweet. that’s an oxymoron”

however, that’s not the worse the judges tasted that day.

kevin, on the other side of the studio, reads the recipes like they’re in some code he’s trying to decipher. his baking area is messy, yet he knows where everything is, and manages to finish before the times’ up. now, we know kevin’s not a fan of sweets, so he may have added less sugar than the amount stipulated on the recepy. the judges grimmaces at how bland everything tasted. even the strawberry filled cupcakes were almost salty (andrew’s opinion)

but of course, it tasted fine for kevin and neil “no tastebuds” josten. 

speaking of neil, he’s a complete menace and if kevin’s mess was considered organized, neil’s was just unhinged. he took one look at the instructions and thought fuck it and just decided to freestyle. not really working. one of his cupcakes had an eggshell on the frosting (kevin: “how the hell did that get there”) he over mixed the batter (he didn’t even know that was a thing) and not only one of his baked goods was burnt, but also not properly cooked on the middle. however, he didn’t do that badly. he managed to get done a batch of chocolate chips cookies. and in spite of adding more salt than necessary because he thought it was sugar, they turned out pretty well. (he did have experience by baking these for andrew)

and finally, renee. lovely renee. she obviously seems like the most sensitive one, who almost never loses her nerve. almost. she enjoys cooking. she likes the freedom of it, the way she can explore and try less salt, more pepper, less onion and more garlic and so, yet baking is very technical and specific. and yet. she doesn’t to poorly either time. she just finds it hard, and then overcomes the challenge. 

she wins the with the showstopper.

but neil wins the technical with the cookies,

and andrew wins the signature bake with the cupcakes.

and kevin regrets going to the baking show entirely.

[willowbird]

I don't read fanfiction. I tried it a few times earlier and I didn't enjoy it. But I read a screenshot snippet of your aftg work on Pinterest and now I'm addicted. If someone told me it was Nora who'd written it all, I'd not doubt it. TYSM, I love you, I love your writing, your attention to detail, metaphors, everything. (selfish request, but if you ever find the time or will to write about Andrew learning to cut Neil's hair when they live together bc Allison no longer can, I'll be delighted)

omg you are so gd SWEET ;_; thank you so much for reading and sending me such a lovely message <3 <3 <3

as for your lil request, I think I'm able to whip up a bit a somthin ~

---

"Are you sure about this?"

"Of course I'm sure. Never been more sure about anything in my life. Chop chop now. I mean, unless you want it to keep growing into... what did that reporter call it, cave-man chic?"

Neil met his eyes in the mirror, and Andrew could tell there was no talking him out of it.

"What if I accidentally slit your throat or cut off your ear or something?"

This time, Neil turned fully around in the chair to look up at him. It wasn't a large bathroom and the movement was somewhat awkward, but Neil managed it. His expression was even, his tone completely serious as he then said, "There is no one I trust more with a blade near my skin than you, Andrew."

Really, Andrew should have stabbed him then and there.

Instead, he levied his best glare at his own personal menace and said, "Turn the fuck around, Josten."

Neil looked at him for a moment, too much knowing in those blue eyes of his, then he turned back around on the chair, facing the mirror once more.

Andrew took his time deciding where to begin, then forced himself to take a slow, silent breath. The first snip seemed too loud, too permanent. It held too much gravity for something as stupid as a lock of hair drifting to the floor of an apartment bathroom. Andrew watched it fall, then made himself do the next snip, then the next. It didn't help (or maybe it did) that Neil relaxed completely at the way Andrew hand to sift his fingers through his hair to part it so he could keep the cut at least semi-even. Andrew wasn't sure he liked how intimate this was, cutting someone else's hair (cutting Neil's hair), so he focused on the methodology instead. He thought back to the YouTube videos he'd watched in preparation when Neil had first suggested Andrew cut his hair, and followed those steps as he parted, measured, then trimmed around Neil's ears and the fringe that was overtaking the other man's forehead.

In all, the whole affair was both more and less traumatizing than anticipated. Neil definitely looked better, though the cut wasn't as clean as when Allison or Robin would do it for him. The most offensive part of it all was how the menace met his eyes in mirror and fucking grinned at him, one hand lifted to touch the newly trimmed ends that no longer threatened to poke him in the eye.

It was such a bright expression. It had no place in either of their lives. But it was right there, shining back at Andrew through the mirror, because of something so stupid as a fucking haircut.

"I am never doing this again," Andrew promised with all the vehemence of an expletive, knowing full well that in exactly six-to-eight weeks he would have Neil sitting right in front of him for a goddamn trim.

"That's okay," Neil said as he ruffled his hair, getting used to the new length. Then he turned around and faced him, and the warmth in those blue eyes only made Andrew want to punch things because of how much he wanted to curl up in that look like it was the only real safe place in the world.

After a moment where Andrew tried not to bask in that look, Andrew said, "What?"

Neil shook his head. "Just wanted to say thank you."

Andrew scowled at him, but he bit back his instinctive response of 'I hate you'. Instead, he lifted one hand and flicked Neil in the forehead, right between the eyes before turning to stride out of the bathroom.

"Get this shit cleaned up Josten," he tossed over his shoulder. "Dinner will be done in a half hour."

If he happened to make Neil's favorite perogies even though they'd been going to just pop in a frozen pizza? Well, Neil knew better than to say anything about it.

[velarian-trash]

I HC that Andrew needs light reading glasses. They're round and kind of huge on his face and tortoise. But he NEVER let's the foxes see him in them and Neil's only seen them on once and it was by accident.

He was supposed to be at night practice with Kevin but Kevin pulled a groin muscle early on and so they came home. Kevin immediately went to take a hot shower and Neil went to their room but he stops abruptly when he walks in and sees Andrew sitting up against the wall, passed out with a book on his chest.

It's cute, obviously, but Neil almost can't contain the smile on his face when he realizes that Andrew fell asleep with his glasses on. They're resting on the edge of his nose, a little caddywhompus from how his head is slightly tilted.

Neil allows himself a moment to enjoy the sight and then clears his throat. Andrew jerks awake and Neil calmly says "it's just me, Drew." Andrew's breathing slows as he stares at Neil, slowly waking up more. Neil just stands there with his arms crossed and a hand over his mouth hiding his smile.

Andrew asks, rather grumpily, "what the fuck are you smirking at, Josten?"

Neil rubs the bridge of his nose and Andrew reaches up and touches his own face and realizes his glasses are still on. He quickly yanks them off his face and Neil says "but I like them on you."

Andrew scowls as he gets out of bed. He crowds Neil against the door and asks "I thought you and Day were practicing."

Neil shrugs and tells him about Kevin's injury and how he's in the shower. Andrew thinks for a minute and asks "how long has he been in there?"

"Only a couple of minutes." Neil responds.

Andrew grabs the back of Neil's neck and says "Well, we better be quick then. Yes or no?" Neil barely has his yes out before Andrew is heatedly kissing Neil, pulling him back towards the bed.

Neil grins as Andrew spins them around and pushes Neil onto the bed. Andrew starts to kiss Neil again but Neil puts a hand on his chest to stop him.

Andrew breaks the kiss and asks "what do you want, Neil?"

Neil grins again and grabs Andrew's collar and pulls him down so their foreheads are touching and says "will you put your glasses back on?"

Andrew huffs a laugh, "you're a menace."

Thanks @iamthebonecarver for encouraging me to post this.

[paradoxolotl]

The foxes need to do this for Neil

[foxy-exy]

Cat Magnet

loosely based on that falling for ur fuckbuddy bc ur cat likes them reddit post

"My fuckbuddy is kind to my cat and my cat likes him. I’m starting to have feelings for him because of that”

Andrew Minyard might be in too deep.

Sir Fat Cat McCatterson was not named by Andrew, because Andrew did not care to name a cat. He did not, in fact, care to own a cat. But apparently, his ground floor apartment simply came with a cat — one that hung around his back door until he opened it to smoke, that slowly began migrating into the apartment until she was inside of it more than she was out, that yelled at him until she owned a food bowl, a water bowl, an absurdly expensive cat tree, and a box of at least ten toys that she liked to chew on and absolutely destroy with her back legs.

(She would then bring those thoroughly killed toys to lay at Andrew’s feet and, once more, she would yell until he gave her a nod and a pat.)

Sir was named by an over-enthusiastic Nicky on his first visit, and she had no other name. The lack of an actual, non-Nicky-bequeathed name wasn’t an issue until Andrew found himself entertaining more than simply his cousin or his twin.

Usually, the cat avoided everyone, hiding in the bedroom if Aaron was visiting, barely peering out from the kitchen for Nicky, vanishing like a ghost if Andrew ever brought a stranger home.

Other visitors were rare — occasionally, a less-than-annoying coworker, a person who worked out next to him at the gym and didn’t chatter too much. Almost never hookups. Andrew generally kept those away from his place.

But also, Andrew generally kept his hookups to a one time occurrence, or an occasional repeat at a single location. Neil Josten was an exception because hooking up with him for a bit once in Eden Twilight’s bathroom simply…hadn’t been enough. And seeing him in weird hours of the morning/night in the 24 hour grocery store, bringing him back to his car for an hour before they parted ways…hadn’t been enough. Running into him in the library and pulling him into the farthest corner of the dusty shelves to make out against encyclopedias for an indeterminate amount of time definitely hadn’t been anywhere near enough.

So Neil Josten, The Exception, was not slated to enter Andrew’s apartment, but enter it he did, after a night of increasingly heated remarks exchanged at a back table of Eden’s, after enough time staring at each other as they sipped their drinks, surrounded by too many people. After Andrew had finally leaned in to whisper, “Follow me.”

When Andrew went to retrieve his coat, it was with Neil’s too-warm, staticky presence at his back, electrifying Andrew’s step into the parking lot. Neil’s own quiet footsteps did not fade from behind him, like Andrew had hoped. And when Andrew unlocked the car and turned around to raise an eyebrow at him, Neil Josten merely raised an eyebrow back and smiled.

“Are you coming?”

“Hopefully,” Neil said, as he slid past Andrew towards the passenger side. As he had accepted being pulled back into a hard kiss for a little too long.

A short car ride later, Neil was being pulled into Andrew’s apartment in a similar manner, only, instead of moving with any kind of poise, Andrew stepped backward into his apartment, beginning to strip Neil’s jacket off and — promptly fell over Sir Fatcat McCatterson.

Sir howled like she was being killed and shot under the couch. And the traitor Neil Josten, standing in Andrew’s doorway, staring down at a sprawled-out Andrew, laughed.

“You’re a menace,” said Andrew, as Sir crept back out to sniff at his nose, and he wasn’t sure whether he meant her or his visitor. “She isn’t even my fucking cat.”

Neil looked around at the feathered catnip toys scattered around the living room and raised an eyebrow. “Cat sitting?”

“Uninvited occupant.” Andrew sat up and gently shoved away the white fluff ball, and curiously, impossibly, Neil went down on a knee to hold out a finger, and Sir ran to him like he was the one returning home.

“What’s your name?” Neil murmured in a soft voice that Andrew had never heard before, and abruptly, Andrew remembered that she did not in fact have a name he wanted to tell anyone, much less a…something. A fuckbuddy. An Exception.

But Sir was purring like a fucking motorboat, rubbing her face all over Neil’s hands, and Neil was smiling as she balanced herself on his knee to sniff his nose, too. And Andrew chewed back something budding in his chest at his cat being stupidly clingy to…whatever Neil was…and said, “Sir.”

“Sir?” Neil looked at him.

“’s her name,” Andrew muttered, then, quieter, “Sir Fat Cat McCatterson.”

Neil took the invitation Sir was giving him and buried his face into her back, but Andrew couldn’t miss the glimpse of lips pressed together over a grin, or the shaking of his shoulders.

“I didn’t name her,” Andrew said, and ignored just how similar his tone sounded to Aaron’s sullen one. “My cousin did. She doesn’t have another name.”

“It’s a great name,” Neil said a little too earnestly to Sir as he emerged from her fluff, scratching behind her ears and sinking his fingers into her ruff. She purred agreeably and licked his chin.

“Shall I leave you alone with the cat?” Andrew shoved to his feet and tossed his keys towards the entryway table, shucking his coat off onto the back of the couch.

Neil looked up, rising to his feet to toe off his shoes with a smirk. “She’s not what I came for.”

“Good,” Andrew said, and tugged on his wrist to lead him towards the bedroom.

***

Neil Josten was supposed to be An Exception, not A Regularity. Not A New Staple of Andrew’s life. He wasn’t supposed to be a number in Andrew’s phone to text, wasn’t supposed to be an ‘are you free’ away from showing up on Andrew’s doorstep. And he wasn’t supposed to be a welcome, familiar sight on Andrew’s couch — Sir curled in his lap, her eyes slits, her approval of his presence loud enough to deafen.

Andrew definitely wasn’t supposed to carefully shift his greedy cat away across the couch so that he could slot himself between Neil’s legs to try and kiss away whatever the fuck had him feeling so warm at seeing Neil there.

“Who made you Cat God,” he murmured against Neil’s lips when Sir growled her displeasure at being unseated from Neil’s lap.

“Guess your cat just loves me,” Neil mumbled into his mouth, gathering fabric at Andrew’s shoulder with one hand as he pressed closer. Only…Neil’s other arm crept around Andrew’s body, but his hand was mysteriously absent as Sir’s angry meows cut off.

Andrew broke away and turned to find Neil’s other hand occupied with stroking Sir’s head.

“You really only use me for my cat, don’t you?”

“If it helps, you’re a welcome bonus,” Neil grinned, stretching to try and capture Andrew’s lips again.

Andrew pressed a hand over his mouth instead. “Get your own pet. Sir is mine.”

Neil raised a challenging eyebrow. “Last I heard, she was an uninvited occupant.”

And you weren’t supposed to look so right in my apartment, Andrew didn’t say, just sat back on his heels to pull his cat onto Neil’s chest where he could try to recapture her attention. It worked, kind of. She was half distracted by Neil’s hair being in grooming distance, but she let Andrew scratch under her chin and gave him an appeased look.

“If I got a cat…would you come with me to pick it out?”

Andrew stopped scratching.

“And figure out a name,” Neil mused, smoothing back Sir’s whiskers. “After all, we can’t have you completely showing them up with your name, Sir, can we?”

“I didn’t name her,” Andrew said again, but he was buzzing.

Helping Neil choose a cat. So that was…acceptable to do. Naming it.

“What do you think, Andrew?”

And Neil was right there, peering up at him through thick fur, with a small smile.

“Yes,” Andrew said.

***

King Fluffkins did not last long in Neil’s apartment. He didn’t seem to like how empty it was — much like Neil, he much preferred taking up permanent occupancy in Andrew’s bed, next to Sir.

And Andrew…he’d picked up three strays, perhaps. Hadn’t asked for them, hadn’t planned for them. They’d moved into his life and his home in a whirl of moving boxes that emptied into cat-box-forts and armchairs that turned into cat-bed-holders and bookshelves that became cat-toy-hiding-places.

But Sir, King, Neil — those three strays were his.

-

you can find more aftg fics on my ao3!

[lemonboyjosten]

andreil + impulsivity

andrew and neil both have a penchant for shocking the hell out of their foxes family with their own theatrics and rash decisions.

they have been together for years, their 9th anniversary is around the corner, however, the foxes are still susceptible to their unpredictableness

ok so they had both been planning this for ages. (well neil came up with the idea and what was andrew gonna do? say no? pfft my foot. the man's so smitten he would go bald for neil.)

and so he did. not go bald of course (much to andrew's relief) but close.

neil's plan was (to andrew dismay) to fucking switch hair colours before they went for their annual fox family reunion trip, and here's how that scene went...

their were both on the couch of their apartment with andrew's head on neil's lap while neil massaged his head and blonde curls ever so lightly when neil popped the question. "dreww....what are your thoughts on switching hair colours?

"don't get any ideas josten, we're not doing it." andrew said with an air of finality.

"think about it, seeing aaron's expression would be worth it."

andrew did think about it. oh he did like stirring chaos and irritating the hell out of his brother. but he would be lying if he didnt care about the rest of the foxes reaction. now he wasnt as opposed to the idea as he thought.

"fine. but don't blame me, if there's murder at the cabin."

"of course not. i'll just ask uncle stuarts henchmen to clean up. no traces. scout's honour." neil said.

"you're a menace, josten."

the next month, andrew and neil drove up to the cabin in idaho that allison had booked. they purposely were the last to arrive.

when they stepped into the house, everyone who was seated in the living room of the bungalow were gaping like fishes at the sight before them.

neil was sporting andrew's previous shade of blonde hair in a wild and curly undercut whereas andrew's hair was an equivalent of neil's ex hair colour but in a darker auburn shade styled in a slicked back quiff.

the foxes (nicky) went BALLISTICS❕❕❕but he had enough self preservation to not comment too much on it. the rest of them(matt and dan had their jaws stuck to the floor), allison had a knowing smirk that could easily translate to "they have ball's, i give them that." aaron looked visibly appalled after muttering a quite " what the fuck" that was later smothered by one of katelyn distracting kisses. kevin looked like he was about to nag about their exy reputation or whatsoever but only let out something that sounded like "crazy motherfuckers". renee had a pleasant yet mischievous smile all along.

aaaand they were home.