#Neil josten demisexual

[yourleftpinkytoe-blog]

Me when people dismiss Neil’s canonical sexuality just cause they want him to fuck every male character in the series:

[floretissogay]

everyone: which way do you swing?

neil: ...towards the goal?

[denkit0ri]

demiromantic neil josten i did for the #ABpride2024

[fortheloveofexy]

my contribution to the @aftgpridezine 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ happy pride month everyone!!

[notacluedo]

jean and neil 🤨💅

[chaoticas-hell]

Neil being demi is actually so important I will fight people on this. It fits his character so perfectly and I get upset when people erase his ace-ness just my demi king live his demi life

[orionchildofhades]

for pride month I'd like to reinforce the following idea

demi sexual Neil Josten 🤝 demi romantic Andrew Minyard

[bisexualchaosdemon]

This came to me in a dream

[timdrakemybeloved]

PSA: NEIL JOSTEN IS DEMISEXUAL. NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK YOU READ THE ONLY PERSON HE WAS INTERESTED IN IS ANDREW. KISSING GIRLS DOES NOT MAKE HIM BISEXUAL BECAUSE HE DID NOT FEEL ATTRACTION FOR THEM. SHIP WHATEVER YOU WANT I GUESS BUT DON’T BE ACEPHOBIC AND ACT LIKE HE WAS ATTRACTED TO WHOEVER YOU SHIP HIM WITH IN CANON. OR LIKE HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS DIFFERENT BECAUSE HE KISSED A GIRL.

[shouts-into-the-void]

Just gonna say it:

A lot of AFTG fans' insistence on erasing Neil's demisexuality while shooting down any argument against it with "but it's my headcanon!1!" or "he shows attraction to women in the books!!" (he doesn't) while not doing this to any of the other characters with canon sexualities (Andrew, Nicky, Jean, Jeremy, Cat, Laila) is acephobic

Also in the book, because apparently some of you misread this bit, is that he kissed a couple girls while on the run and was not into it. Kissing people does not inherently signify attraction, and he pretty clearly says he found doing so awkward and uncomfortable until Andrew. He also clearly states he only had an interest in girls because he knew other guys his age were attracted to them and wanted to know what the hype was about.

Neil is confirmed to be demisexual by the author, and literally says in the books that he's not suddenly sexually or romantically attracted to other people just because he's attracted to Andrew (there is literally a whole scene about it).

Neil is not gay because he's attracted to a man, he's not bisexual because he's kissed both boys and girls. He's demisexual because he only experiences actual attraction for people he's formed a deep emotional bond with, and that just so happens to be a guy.

[that-vampire-loser]

Headcanon that Neil is touching Andrew at any opportunity (with permission, of course)

Sitting in Andrew’s lap at Eden’s

A hand on Andrew’s thigh underneath the table at sweeties

Laying his head on Andrew’s shoulder during bus rides

Sitting on opposite sides of their couch with their feet tangled together

Sitting between Andrew’s legs on the floor during movie nights with the upperclassmen with his head resting on Andrew’s thigh

Sitting with his legs sprawled over Andrew’s when they’re in the Fox lounge

Holding hands on the center console of the car

Or having Andrew rest his hand on Neil’s thigh when they’re in the car

Laying his head in Andrew’s lap at any time since he knows Andrew likes playing with his hair

Laying his head on Andrew’s chest when they’re sleeping

Having Andrew sleeping practically on top of him on the couch

Holding his hand whenever he can

Basically Andreil just being in love, and neither of them are afraid to show it

[sillysapphillean]

Just saying but this too is erasure of neil's demisexuality

Yes there is a level of obliviousness leading up to neil's realization that he's into andrew, but that still only started after a build up of a bond between them.

Stop trying to find ways to twist his experience into something allo. Stop equating his first moments of trusting & developing a bond with anyone outside of his mother to catching feelings. This was the start of the groundwork necessary for neil to be able to develop feelings, not the the moment he started developing feelings.

[murdockbuckley]

shout out to neil josten you might be a traumatised mobster's son who has definitely murdered people but you're the only demi representation that i know of in any form of media and i love you

[victor-v]

i don't think most people understand the importance of neil being openly and unapologetically demisexual. when he was written and the books were published the information about the ace spectrum was so scarce and no one talked about it. personally thanks to this character i got to understand a part of my identity that made no sense for my whole life, suddenly he was saying i don't swing and i mean it the only one im interested in is you and my brain exploded a little and opened the door to actually do some research on it and things made sense. which maybe i would have figured out eventually, but that level of understanding added to showing the importance of consent and boundaries truly rewired my brain (for the better)

this means so much to me

[jean-meowreau]

I'm ready to give. A hot take about asexual Neil.

Because as an ace-spec person who enjoys sex as an activity for my partner(s) involved, people trying to erase poly/multi-shipping Neil by saying "He's demi so he wouldn't fuck them" have me really on edge. Sex isn't always about deriving personal pleasure. Sex can be an act of intimacy between partners where one gets more out of it physically than the other. You are aware good, consensual sex can happen between partners where one(OR EVEN BOTH/ALL!) of them don't orgasm?

Outside of just a kink scenario with a scene that is meant to instill frustration/not end in orgasm, you can just make out for fun. You can give handjobs and touch and finger and stroke and fondle and pinch and bite and suck and lick and fuck and enjoy just one partner getting their fill. You can top or bottom and not orgasm and still enjoy the experience for what it brings the relationship. (Not to mention Stone Tops are a real thing.)

Sex comes in many forms. Sex doesn't have to end in an orgasm for all involved. And Sex isn't always a defining characteristic for a relationship.

All I'm saying is is stop your ace erasure because you have a preference to only ship Neil a certain way. Your preference is valid until you use a label and twist its meaning to get what you and only you want.

Enjoy your Neil time, but also beware that everyone has their own Neil doll and can play with him however they want. He can slut it up(so to speak) or he can never have sex or experience sexual attraction except once a decade on a night with a specific moon cycle when the conditions are perfect - fandom is meant to be a space to enjoy these characters as they are and/or however we want.

From an ace/demi queer person, please stop taking my sexuality and using it to hurt others who want to enjoy Neil differently than you. Thank you.