#Natalie it's all your fault

[rosesart11]

also before eepy silly oc song of the night

both Raymond AND Piper are Scars the Crane Wives core

[thebearer]

please please please need a part two of the fight blurb 😭 what happens next 😭😭😭

should i make it into a full fic omg?? maybe?? lol

but on the real, i think that he would have to take a leave from the restaurant, which truthfully, everyone needed. this is just what broke him. the one time he actually tries to deal with his shit and not just blow up, get embarrassed, try to make it up, and repeat the cycle with no real change. i mean, you took his babies? anchovy and teddy. you're not returning his calls. richie, fak, and sweeps are alternating wellness check watches because they're terrified he's going to hurt himself, especially after the way he spiraled when he found your wedding ring.

he knows where you're at. he managed to become technologically savvy all of a sudden and figured out how to see your location, that you shared with him when you first started dating. fak wouldn't let him take his car. richie had put him on a full blown "psych ward type shit" lockdown until he "got his shit together, cousin".

"richie said-"

"-richie's a fuckin' moron, give me my fucking keys, fak!"

"carmen," fak frowns. "i-i can't."

so carmen walked. he walked to sugar and pete's house. nearly an hour walk through chicago. smoking so much he felt sick.

pete answered the door, face falling as soon as he saw carmen.

"carm, h-hey, man-"

"-where is she?" carmen wasn't interested on any sort of small talk, tunnel visioned to get to you.

"uh, i-i don't-"

"-pete, i really don't want you to fuck with me right now, alright." carmen took a deep breath, throat burning with tears. "i need to see- i-i need to see her pete." he couldn't bring himself to even say your name.

a tiny meow came from behind pete, anchovy skippering towards carmen with bright eyes, tail raised. it made carmen's jaw clench, tears blurring his vision. he knew you had to be close by. looking at the time, you were probably feeding teddy, maybe putting her down for a nap. he should have been more considerate, came later in the day, carmen thought.

pete looked at the cat, down the hall, then back at carmen. "carm..." pete hesitated, gripping the door, letting it shut gently, shielding something behind him. "you know i can't."

"what the fuck? pete that's- just let me in." anger surged through carmen's chest, trying to swallow it down. all he'd been was angry. angry and sick and distraught, a never ending cycle for weeks, just amplified by your leaving.

"you want to get her back? quit actin' like a goddam baby." richie sneered one night, just days ago, when carmen was especially awful and mean. "quit actin' like this isn't your fuckin' fault. like you didn't do this to yourself. take some fuckin' accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckin' shit together. and maybe-maybe you'll get your family back."

carmen turned, running a hand over his face, trying to calm himself. keep himself from crying, from screaming, from pushing pete down and running back there so he could see you himself- throw himself at your feet and beg for forgiveness.

"pete, please? please?" carmen's voice wobbled, breaking gently. "please l-let me talk to her. just let me- let me tell her i'm sorry. don't-"

"-carmen?" sugar's voice came from behind pete. her face dropped, different than pete's, her's was angry. "what the fuck are you doing here?"

"why do you think i'm here, natalie? huh?-"

"-oh, you've got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here." natalie sneered, pulling the door open and stepping out. "pete, go inside."

"nat-"

"-i got it." natalie hissed, eyes narrowing at carmen. she waited until pete left, shaking her head at him. "you should be fucking ashamed-"

"-i am-"

"-mortified." sugar continued. "do you know what i came home to the other night? i came home to pete taking care of your baby because your wife came here sobbing- sobbing, because you screamed at her? what the fuck is wrong with you? huh?"

"i don't know." carmen's voice was tight, fighting a tremble. "i-i don't fuckin' know. i didn't- i-i didn't mean-" a tear fell, the final crack in his demeanor. carmen wasn't sure how he had tears left, how he could sob anymore. yet here he was, on his sister's porch, tears flowing again.

sugar didn't comfort him, didn't move, just watched him through glaring eyes. "please let me s-see her. let me se-ee teddy, sugar, don't-don't keep my kid from me-"

"-i'm not keeping your kid from you." sugar snapped. "i didn't take teddy away. you know who did? you. you did carmen."

carmen flinched, he knew it was true but it still stung. "i know you don't remember dad very well, but you're acting just like him." sugar sneered.

"and before you try and come up with an excuse-"

"-i-i'm not-"

"-i want you to know, that every day. every single fucking day, there's days i want to drink myself to sleep. that mj or maggie make me want to pull my hair out and scream, or pete does something that infuriates me, but you know what i don't do?" sugar stepped towards carmen, arms still crosses. "i don't yell at them, i don't drink myself incoherent, i don't fucking act like mom or dad because i know how that felt." sugar jabbed a finger in her chest, eyes holding carmen's gaze intensely.

"i know how that fucked me up, i know how it fucked them up, how it fucked you and mikey up too- how it fucked everything in our fucking life up!" natalie laughed humorlessly. "and the last thing, the very last thing i would want, is to do that to pete, to my kids, to anyone."

carmen felt sick and yet eerily calm all at once. his chest was tight, he was sure he couldn't breathe, but he couldn't stop listening. a damning realization- a shameful one.

"you need to make up your mind, right here, right now, before you see anyone else." natalie stepped back towards the door. "you need to decide if you're going to continue to be a selfish piece of shit, or if you're going to change. and i can tell you, change is uncomfortable- it's not easy. you have to fight for it every single day. but i would rather do that than not have my family."

she looked down at carmen, twisting the knob. "you decide that, then maybe- maybe you can see them." carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, not moving from his place on the porch, head in his hands.

fak showed up nearly an hour later, wide eyed and rambling about "how the fuck did you just leave? i was playing ball buster and-and then you're gone-"

carmen ignores him, sliding into the car slowly. "carmen?"

"you uh," carmen's voice is hoarse, staring straight ahead. "you said that, uh, that richie's got.... got someone for me to talk to?"

fak blinks, nodding slowly. "the therapist? yeah-"

"-take me there." carmen looks over at sugar's house. he isn't sure if it's his imagination or not, but for a moment he swears he can see you, peeking through the blinds.

"a-are you ok?" fak is worried, a little rattled at the sudden change. especially since carmen had been so adamant about not seeing "your stupid fuckin' therapist, richie, clearly she's no fuckin' good because look at you! you're still fucked up!" carmen's enraged words from days ago.

"no," carmen admits, throat swelling with a growing lump. "but, uh, i-i wanna be." he admits quietly, looking over at fak. "i gotta get my shit together, fak. i-i gotta be better for them."

fak doesn't deny it, doesn't console him. just goes quiet with a nod, driving away. carmen watches sugar's house disappear in the rearview, his heart aching, breaking, but he knows natalie is right. he knows he'll be back once he's better, that he has to be better. for teddy. for you. for your family.

[novelconcepts]

One of the most fundamentally interesting things to me about YJ and writing fic, specifically, is how the blame changes hands depending on the story. On whose perspective you're writing from. On whose story it is at a given moment. The very thing I dislike about viewers missing the point becomes so fascinating to me from within the narrative. Who are these characters when seen through the eyes of their peers?

Who does Jackie become? If you're Shauna, she's the love of your life, and your greatest rival, and the other half of your soul, and the person you blame for your dead dreams. If you're Van, she's the respected captain who earns none of your respect in the woods, the one who left you to die without blinking, the easiest target for teenage malice. If you're Natalie, she's competition for affection, the blabbermouth who can't leave well enough alone, the hands putting themselves to no good use. If you're Jackie? You're just a girl. You're so tired. You're so scared. You're losing face a little more every day, and you're made of despair, and you can't even trust your best friend. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

Who does Lottie become? If you're Natalie, she's your direct foil, the splinter under the edge of your thumbnail, the smart mouth to match your own, the confusing amalgamation of normal friend and mad ritual. If you're Misty, she's the first shred of obvious power in months, a leader who might need to be nudged back into line, a fascinating exercise in hitching your wagon to the right star early on. If you're Taissa, she's flat-nuts and endlessly frustrating, she's got your girlfriend's full attention, she's incredibly dangerous. If you're Lottie? You're just a girl. You're so tired. You're so scared. You've built a pedestal you can't keep your balance on, and you're not sure if you're right or going crazy, and you didn't want this. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault.

From outside the narrative, there is no bad guy. There is no blame. It is no one's fault. It is Man v. Nature, they are doing the best they can with an impossible situation. They're all trying to contribute what they can to the story, for better or worse.

From inside the narrative, you are a teenager trapped in a society constructed entirely of bare-bones-survival with the wildest assortment of girls. From inside the narrative, to stay human, you have to love and fight, respect and judge. Every story changes the game. Every story shifts the blame. A hero in one has the bloodiest hands in the next. And that, to me, is such a thrilling sandbox to play in.

[doromoni]

Clash of Champions | MV1 , LH44

Act 2. Part 5 : The Former and Forever Ally

Ships : Max Verstappen x Engineer! Reader, Lewis Hamilton x Engineer! Reader

Genre : Drama, Angst, Romance

Warning : Morally Grey Characters, Manipulation, Blackmail, Swearing

A/N : Its been a while, my luvs! Here’s the long awaited update~ I’m still getting back into writing, pls be lenient with meeee.

Summary : The rivalry between the titans of Formula 1 goes off track and only one will reign victorious.

< Previous Masterlist Next >

Act 2. ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The ringing of a phone sounded all over the driver room of the Dutch Red Bull pilot. It rang and rang nonstop, as Max's jaw tensed in agitation.

The caramel color of hard liquor danced inside the half empty glass that he nursed.

On the next ring, a voice had finally answered the call.

“What do you want, Verstappen?” The voice of an unnerved Toto Wolff resounded throughout the room.

“You haven’t been holding up on your end of the deal, Wolff. Tell me why is your driver still chasing after my girl? You couldn’t even handle reeling in your pet? How pathetic of a principal can you be?” Max uttered each word with carelessness laced with venom.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, VERSTAPPEN!! You’re the one who’s not holding your end of the deal! You said that you’ll take care of the girl?! Then why the fuck is she winning?! ” The anger and frustration behind Toto’s voice was palpable even to a child.

Toto was in distress, he was facing a crisis at the loss of Y/N L/N. His entire team was at a loss end at the continuous success that the girl brought … but now it was to the rival team. Toto cannot stand the fact that he is being humiliated by a girl half his age.

“I never said that I’ll throw my chances on the championship, now did I? I said that I’ll take Y/N out of your hands— and I did. It’s not my fault that she has actual talent. Now be a good team principal and do something about your lack. Get Hamilton on a leash and away from Y/N” Max had then downed the rest of his drink in one gulp, loudly placing it down on the adjacent table.

“Oh, I’ll do something alright.”

Toto seethed as he dropped the call.

“Prepare the paperwork and the video” Toto uttered to his assistant.

Oh, he’ll do something alright.

***

No one can deny that your presence demanded attention with each step, eyes gravitated towards you, so you lifted your head high in confidence — even when you felt fear and anxiety all over. The enemy shall not see you falter, and in this reality — many are watching to see you fall.

Your footsteps hit the pavement with fervor, each step as sure as the last one. You were clad in black and blue, proudly dressed in your new team uniform adorned with your signature red-bottomed heels as you walked in the paddock towards where the Sky commentators were stationed for the interview.

You had Red Bull’s PR team guiding you to your destination. As the distance shortened, you felt your heartbeat pounding—you could hear it in your ears and feel it in your throat. Nervous was an understatement to what you were feeling right now.

If it were just a regular interview with the other commentators, it would be a breeze. But with Nico present, this was entirely different … it was personal.

No matter how much you’ve grown, matured, or achieved when you faced Nico it all didn’t matter — you always felt like the rookie junior engineer needing guidance. Nico was always your big brother and it broke your heart when your relationship fell apart.

Your eyes adjusted to the sight of them seated in the middle of the busy paddock, mics on hand. With a deep breath, you plastered on a smile and went near the commentators. Natalie Pinkman was the first to notice your appearance.

“Ah! And here she is! Everyone let’s welcome, Red Bull Head Race Engineer, Y/N L/N” The rest of the crew’s attention went towards you with soft smiles present. The reporters consisted of the people you had great respect for; David Croft, Jenson Button, Natalie Pinkham, and of course Nico Rosberg.

“Hello everyone! Thank you for having me~ always an honor to chat with you” You replied with all the grace that you could muster because honestly, you felt the cold sweat dripping down your neck.

“Of course, Of course, Y/N! Well, last time you were with us you were wearing black and silver. What caused the move if we could ask” Crofty’s question caught you off guard, you weren’t going to lie. You expected it, but not so early on.

“Oh come on Crofty! Let the girl breathe~ she just won her 2nd race with Max for goodness' sake. Congratulations by the way” Nico suddenly interjected. Warmth filled you as Nico came to your aid. You gazed at him with thankfulness — and he gave you a knowing look. Maybe patching things up with the Ex-Merc driver wouldn’t be too hard.

“Thank you, Nico! Yeah, Max and I work great together I’ve got to say. He is very straightforward in giving his insights and that helps a lot” You replied with a smile

“And to answer your question Crofty~ yeah I’ve retired the black and silver uniform for sure! The team and I both wanted different things and It was to my best benefit to find what I needed somewhere else and I guess it was with Red Bull. “ you explained with such restraint that you were sure that Red Bull’s PR would be proud. If it weren’t for them and the NDA you’ve signed with Mercedes — you would’ve held nothing back.

“But in the middle of the season? with so much friction between the two teams fighting for the championship. That’s a crazy move” Jenson commented, a wide grin spread on your lips. Boy crazy was only half of it.

“You call it crazy, but I think what Y/N did here takes guts and bravery. Take it from me, my retirement was one of the best decisions I’ve made. I couldn’t run faster ” Nico butted in with a snicker. You couldn’t help but giggle — the shared Mercedes trauma and resentment unites you both. One thing was true, both of you were free from their clutches

“I presume that a lot had happened in the background then” Natalie tried to push further to which you only laughed and gave her a shrug.

“Alright, alright ~ let’s now talk racing. Y/N today’s strategy was flawless. Did you factor in everything or was luck a part of it?” Crofty segwayed smoothly.

From then on the interview ran as smoothly as it could till it finished and they had to let you go.

It was time to talk to Nico one-on-one, but what you didn’t expect was Nico holding on to your wrist and pulling you towards Sky’s office.

“Nico?? What is going on? Why am I here? Am I even allowed in here??” You were filled with questions as the German pulled you into his office.

He was dead silent at first then suddenly he pulled you into his embrace. Shock coursed through your veins but like muscle memory, your arms found their way around Nico.

“What is happening? Nico?” You were so confused. You were made to believe that Nico had hated you — but now everything was as foggy as the weather.

“ Holy Fuck, Y/N! Oh how much I’ve missed you” Nico muttered in your hair.

You were dazed, your mind was reeling and you had no concept of reality at this very moment. You thought that you were about to be chewed out and criticized by Nico and be told that his being nice was just a facade for the world.

Words couldn’t come out of your mouth as you felt hot tears building up. Nico’s hug felt like home and security — you finally felt like you didn’t need to pretend to be the always strong, independent and put-together Y/N the world expected you to be.

You let yourself slump in his hold and clutch him even tighter to you.

“Oh, you poor thing. What have they done to you” As you hear his words , you can’t hold back your tears and they fall uncontrollably. Your breath hitched with every inhale you took.

“N-nico I’m so sorry. I- I should’ve listened to you! I-im so sorry for everything I’ve done to hurt you” You felt Nico’s hand soothingly caressed your hair.

“I’ve forgiven you a long time ago, Bärchen.” Nico hadn’t called you his little bear for so long that when you heard it once more you bawled even harder.

“Okay, let’s get you some water and we’ll talk, yeah?” Nico asked gently as he put you at arm's length— trying to stop himself from laughing at your snotty and red face.

You slapped his arm playfully and then nodded in agreement as you let Nico guide you to his couch.

You let yourself survey his office — and one thing caught your attention. It was the picture of a younger version of you and Nico on his first win with you being his junior engineer. You couldn't help but smile at the memories.

It was even before Lewis came to Mercedes. You were just a rookie and Nico fought his team into letting you into his engineer team for the race.

Nico shouted in joy on his radio thanking everyone including you. Nico had given you special recognition and that was when the world had started to know the name Y/N L/N.

A cold bottle brought you out of your recollection of the past. You took the bottle and a snack that Nico handed you with a thank you and a grin. He still kept your favorite snacks in stock, you truly missed your big brother.

“So tell me Bärchen, how have you been? Finally out of hell’s clutches. Congratulations on that by the way” Nico tipped his bottle towards you.

Nico had never resented Mercedes before… well when you were with him anyway. But when you were suddenly put into Lewis’ team — Nico had turned a 180.

“I have so much to tell you. And you are so right in leaving that hell hole when you won the championship. I wished you dragged me away with you” you said in a joking sarcastic manner — however you meant every single word.

You were mid-chew, when you saw Nico’s face suddenly fell and turned cold. You felt your spine tingle and goosebumps ran through your skin. Nico then faced you with such seriousness that you turned nervous to the bone

“N-nico? Did I say anything wrong?”

“Listen carefully Y/N. That place is a viper den and I would’ve done anything to get out of there. I did try to move teams and I was planning to take you with me. But Toto knew and they transferred you to Lewis. “ Nico held your hand as his eyes were turning red from the tears building up. You were speechless yourself and you could only listen to what Nico had to say.

“They made me avoid and cut ties with you … I know it was cowardly of me but I didn’t know what to do, they threatened your job and your future Bärchen. They were ready to block everything and make sure your future in Formula 1 would not lead to anything. I know your dreams my Bärchen… so I did as they asked” Tears were now starting to fall on the German’s eyes — you could see the pain and emotion through them that you couldn’t hold your tears anymore.

You clutched Nico’s hand tighter, urging him to go on. You felt shame and mortification fill your body, after everything that has happened it was all because Nico was trying to protect you and your future.

“Mercedes made me an ultimatum… I get to leave the team and they would leave you alone if I won a championship” A gasp flew out of your mouth. You thought that you knew everything that had happened— yet you were as blind as a bat at the length of monstrosity that they were willing to go through. They made you believe that Nico was out to get Lewis out of jealousy but all his desperation was for freedom; not only his but for yours as well.

“But … when I did win, they made another exit clause. It was that I could not contact you when you still worked for them.” With a heavy sigh, Nico then met your eyes.

Your lips quivered with disbelief— you thought that Nico had avoided you because of hatred. But it was all because of the despicability of Toto and Mercedes.

“Nico, I’m so sorry. After everything you’ve done for me … and I only hurt you in the end. I don’t deserve your forgiveness and I don’t deserve you” You cried your heart out and Nico pulled you back into his embrace.

“Hey, none of that! I’ve forgiven you and I know that you didn’t mean any of it. You were blinded by love and false information, a very deadly combo and I understand. But we both finally came out unscathed right?” Nico joked. You couldn't help but snicker, yeah right unscathed. Both of you knew how much they’d damaged the two of you.

“Yup! Absolutely, completely healthy and undamaged. “ you tried to joke to lighten the blow “But Nico, what they’ve done to you was abysmal! They deserve to be sued or something! What Mercedes did was blackmail.”

“Oh! You tell me? You’ve stayed longer than me! Imagine putting up with abuse for more years— couldn’t be me.” The two of you laughed at the shared trauma.

“But, Y/N are you okay now? Is Red Bull treating you right?”

“So far, yeah. I never knew that a motorhome could be like that. It made me realize how much toxicity ran in Mercedes” You shook your head out of disbelief.

“I could see you smiling more, and you’re also glowing my bärchen! So you’re now with Max, yeah?” Nico suddenly transformed into the diva that he is and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes affectionately.

“ Thank you, kind sir. And yes, I am seeing Max; and I am happy! Max encouraged me to talk to you, y’know. And yes he also knows about the Lewis drama, he got to experience it firsthand during the grid party”

“Ah! I’ve heard about that~ great job handling Toto by the way. And I did warn you about Hamilton, did I not? But I gotta say as your self-proclaimed brother, you should also be wary of Max… well drivers in general” Nico said catching you off guard. Prompting you to ask why out of curiosity.

“There is just something about us that drives us to extreme extents to get what we want — I could bet that the majority of us are ready to give our lives or more just to achieve it. The question is … what does Max want?” Nico’s question made you think.

What did Max want? You were sure that being a world champion was one of his priorities… but he was not using you as Lewis had done. Right?

Your dilemma was cut short when even pressing matters had fallen on your plate in the form of a heavy succession of knocks heard through Nico’s door.

“Ms. Y/N? Are you in here?” You looked at Nico to which he only shrugged and gave you a look of cluelessness

“Yes, I’m here please come in” You muttered aloud. And to your surprise, it was a frazzled Red Bull staff who was clutching her iPad as she tried to catch her breath.

“Ms. Y/N your presence is needed at Red Bull ASAP. Mr. Horner has summoned you urgently”

“To what is this about?” You questioned further

“Mercedes has filed a lawsuit on you for data and contract breach”

“WHAT?!”

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[mayasaurusss]

haii I can request modern lottie headcanos ?

Shy: modern jock Lottie

Warnings: Jock (but also nerdy?) Lottie, Lottie is a loser-virgin, use of every single cliche in the book, for the sake of the story let's pretend they have this instant chemistry moment, fluff fic, humorous writing, not proof read, the author regrets begin born.

A/N: hey anon, remeber when I said I had an idea and wanted to make this a oneshot instead of a headcanon? Well, I completley forgot my idea and this brewed in my head last minute, so I tried to put this thing thogeter. This story isn't very good but I hope you will like it!

Lottie is one of the most popular girls in school. She is on the soccer team, she is rich and she is beautiful, men and women alike fall to their feets for her attention. She simply has to get to the top of everything, whether it is school or soccer, making the ones around her jealous of her or to be her. Lottie is tough, both in body and spirit: during practice she manages to get going for hours, even when her teammates are tired. During exams, she remembers almost everything she studied and only a few times she has failed, due to laziness and too much faith in her abilities. She has told herself to never slack off ever again and so she continues practicing after school in her backyard, no matter if it's freezing or raining or just a bad day, she pushes her body to the limit almost every day. She studies hours on hours on hours, just after her endless practice, till midnight; sometimes she consumes her dinner while studying for her next exam. Lottie has virtually no time for herself anymore, but she knows it's her fault. She knows that she does this to appease her father's wishes for her life and that she will never make him proud. She tells herself that she's ok, that she can continue doing this without repercussions.

She is on fire today, she has just passed one of the most difficult tests of the year without breaking a sweat attracting to herself the envy of various people -and Natalie's-, had successfully exposed a presentation in class -"How cults can change people psyche", by Lottie Matthews-, and now is practicing, having just scored a goal after being chased by Taissa and making her repeatedly taking her to the ground. Lottie is triumphant, sweat coating her skin and a smile gracing her lips, the same smile that made people develop crushes for her. "Ok team, I want you to try and score a goal, Lottie, Taissa and Van, you guys try to stop them, ok?" Coach Ben says.

Lottie moves to her place near Taissa, ignoring the looks the girl gives her, Van behind the, waiting for the ball. When the coach blows the whistle, the teams move: Shauna passes the ball to Mari, in a fake attempted attack from right, trying to get past Taissa, the ball is passed to Laura Lee who has already run across the field enough to not be worried about Taissa. The only obstacles left between her and the goal are Lottie and Van. The latter won't be a problem, when Laura will kick the ball from the underside angle, sending it to the far corner of the net; the real problem is Lottie. The girl is tall and strong enough to turn the situation to her favor and virtually leave Laura's and the rest of the team empty handed. And, to top it all off, she's on fire today. So, Laura Lee devises a plan: as soon as Lottie will corner her, she will fall back and kick the ball as high as she can, attempting to send it through the net. Lottie will not budge, she thinks, -"She is too smart to fall for this..."- but she will at least attempt to try.

Lottie has stayed still until now, determined to be the one to stop her teammates. Her muscles tighten, ready to strike, until her attention is on someone else, someone on the seats.

There are quite a few people here besides you and your friends. They had invited you to watch the Yellowjackets practice, more in particular to watch the Yellowjackets practice. You have sat in the nearest line to the field, wanting to crawl out of your seat whenever one of your friends made a loud remark about one of the girls. "Like, oh my God look at Natalie '' Hayley sighs dreamily, "I want to make sexy pottery with her '' Jessica scoffs at her "Say what you want about Natalie. Have you looked at coach Ben? He is so hot!" she says while twirling a strand of her hair. "I think he's gay Jessica..." she gasps "How would you know? The other day I saw him handing to Travis a bunch of condoms, he must like girls!", "That's not how it works Jessica..." you argue with her "Shut up," she scoffs at you. You turn your head away from her to avoid her anger, looking towards the field as you see number seven -Lottie, that must be her name- moving in position to defend the net. "...and how would you know? Your life is so boring, you never even had a relationship yet!"eyes scanning her face up and down, you look at Jessica ``I haven't but at least I don't drool for every human beginning in school" you remark at her, earning a glare that could kill.

"Shut up! Stupid asshole..." your eyes return to the soccer field, now focused back on the players: you see Lottie staring at you, her eyes never leaving yours even for a split second, you and your friends must've been loud for her attention to be on anything else other than practice. Neither you or her break eye contact, both in an almost hypnotic state, so, neither you or her notice Laura Lee screaming out for her teammate.

The second Lottie refocuses back on the game, the ball hits her face at full speed; Lottie stumbles back holding her nose, blood flowing freely from it, she loses her footing and falls on the ground. "Fuuuck!'' The team rushes to their friend, Laura Lee is profusely apologizing while trying to hold her best friend who isn't in the right mood to be manhandled. Coach Ben kneels next to Lottie and inspects her face: on the bridge of the nose, right where the ball has hit her, Lottie has a small red bump and her nose seems to be slightly pushed to the left side. "We need to take the infirmary..." he states and helps Lottie up, before Misty can get her hands on her classmate's face and cause more damage. She walks back with Ben with shame, and when she looks back to see you worried over her, she can't bring herself to look at you.

At the infirmary, she gets a pack of cold ice and after one hour, the nurse, a middle aged old woman who looks like she's done with life, walks over to her and takes away the ice pack. Her hands move and test around Lottie's nose, manhandling her -she looks like a small scared child-. "Take a deep breath with your mouth...", she's confused as hell but does so, feeling the nurse's hands move again on her nose, "...and don't panic". -What?- the nurse's fingers block her nose and push strongly to the right side, readjusting the bone. Lottie lets out a banshee-like scream "Fuck me!" and she hold her face, muffling her scream in her hands, "Don't move too much or you could crook it again". Her fingers move across the nose skin, it definitely hurts but now she can breathe again: the nose still has a small red bump at the middle of its length. "Yeah, that's not going away", the nurse says while arranging some things in a box, "What?".

Her father had wanted to sue both the nurse and Laura Lee's family as soon as he saw how his daughter's nose looked, but with some convincing, Lottie had managed to make his anger drop. Today, some time after the whole fiasco, Shauna has come to pick her up for school, usually she would use her father's limo but today she felt like beginning with a friend -and exploiting her a bit- than with the old decrepit driver her father hired. As soon as she enter Shauna's car, the other girl lets out a small pained hiss at Lottie's nose. "...Is it that noticeable...?", Shauna let's out a small hum and moves uncomfortably under Lottie's dark gaze. "I mean... I see it because I was there, but it's not tha-" Shauna is interrupted by Lottie's frustrated sigh and cries. "God! This is just what I needed..." she mutters into her hand, Shauna drops her hand on her friend's shoulder "Come on...It's not that bad, no one will notice". Lottie moves to look at Shauna, her eyes are tearful, "That's literally the first thing you noticed about me today". A gulp travels down Shauna's throat "Uhm..." the taller girl looks her dead in the eyes "This is the part where you, as a friend, would comfort me". The car engine starts, Shauna lets out a embarassed cough while she starts to move the car "...Let's go".

"Ouch..." Taissa says to her while munching her sandwich, the whole soccer team is in the cafeteria for lunch, Lottie had been the last one to join the team 'cause her classes ended later, of course that would involve her not-so-glorious entrance in the room, where everyone had looked at her weird or with pity. "Laura Lee hasn't come today...She's feeling pretty guilty for what she's done. I think this will stay inside her little fanatic brain for a while" Taissa laughs while exchanging a kiss with Van, "And she's right. If I were you, Lottie, I would have punched her in the face ages ago" Natalie barges in the conversation. "Changing topic, tonight there's a party. At Randy's' ' the blonde girl mutters while focused on rolling something that Lottie is pretty sure isn't a normal cig, "I don't know if I'll be there... I don't feel really good". Natalie lets out a scoff, momentarily messing up her rolling before continuing again, "Come on Lottie, It's only a party. Besides, your 'little incident' is not that visible ''. Taissa stares at Natalie with a look that says 'Really?' , "Geez, how about some fucking decency Natalie?" she spats out receiving a roll of eyes from the other girl "The point is, going to a party won't be that big of a deal". Everyone seems to turn to Lottie, waiting for her response, "...Ok".

Night has come, and with it, Lottie's uneasiness. The party had proved to be a lot more crowded than she imagined, it was packed with people who were beginning to drink by the time the Yellowjackets had come. Jackie had placed her hand on Lottie's shoulder, stroking it reassuringly "Don't worry Lottie, we won't go anywhere" and for a split second, Lottie had believed her and smiled reproaching the smile, before she had looked away -for one fucking second-, and all of her team had left to so their things: Taissa and Van had two red cups in their hands and were flirting to one angle of the room, Jackie had blindedly followed Jeff somewhere with Shauna trailing behind her and Natalie was gone to God knows where, probably doing drugs with those toxics of her friends. So, as she had been sure all this time, Lottie was alone. A sigh escaped her lips, her brows furrowing in annoyance and creating a small wrinkle between them, and worry showing in her eyes. She makes a bee line to the kitchen, finding it almost empty except for a drunk couple in one of the dark corners; on the table amidst all the discarded red cups and leftover foods, sits a clear glass bowl of red-blood punch with some ice and a slice of orange floating in. Lottie takes one of the clean cups and fills it to the brim with alcohol. She drinks her worries away feeling the liquid heat her from within, before she knows she has gulped down half of it. Her hands search for her cigarettes in her jeans pocket, finding only a few left: taking one she holds it between her lips but realizes she has forgotten her lighter at home, "As if this night couldn't be any worse...".

When you walk into the kitchen, you see the same girl who yesterday almost got half of her face blown off -Lottie, you remind yourself-.

She's dressed in high waisted dark gray jeans, a long sleeved black shirt and a pair of glasses which made her look far more nerdy than she might have intended. "Oh, hi!" she turns around so quickly that some of the liquid spills out of the cup and pours on her fingers, but she doesn't seem to care all that much, all her attention is on you. "H-Hi...!". Walking over to her, you smile "You are Lottie right? You got pretty hurt some time ago, huh?", gulping down dryly her eyes focused on your lips resting on the cup ridge "Uhhhh, uh, ehm, yes yeas, yeah that's me...". Eyes hazy and unfocused, she doesn't hear you calling out for her "...ttie. Lottie? Earth calls to Lottie, are you there?" she jolts up a second, straighten her spine and avoids to look you in the eye. "Uh, yeah I'm here, just a little distracted" her throat clears and she lets out a small laugh. You look at her, you notice the way she seems to be around you: gone is the confident jock from the soccer team, all that's left of her is a girl who's too shy to talk without stuttering every few seconds. "Say, would you like to get to know each other?" her throat clears before she nods her head slightly with a little smile. "So, what do you like to do, you know, besides soccer?" you lean on the table while sipping on the punch, "Well, I like partying, usually, and -you know- soccer is all my life. I play the guitar sometimes..." your gasp interrupts her, "You'll have to let me hear something one day!". Lottie tells you more about her life: she tells you about her father and mother, about how she's always alone in that big cold house of hers, about how she likes the soccer team a lot -except Jackie sometimes- and of her love for teen dramas, especially Dawson's Creek.

The alcohol starts to make your body heat, she looks so good under dimmed lights; you sip down the last drops of the alcohol and throw the empty cup on the table, slightly scaring Lottie. "Would you like to dance?" her eyes move to yours and shakes her head in approval "Of course!" you take her cup and set it on the table, placing your hand on hers and leading her to the living room.

The room is lit by red light, the music is so loud it makes her heart jump in her chest, but Lottie can barely hear it over the loud beating of her heart in her ears. You get close to her body and feel its heat, how her skin shivers when you touch her a little too long and how she can't even place her shaky hands on you. Everything is slow, heated, the red lights paint Lottie in a way you haven't seen before; you lock eyes with her and for a moment, you feel the need to kiss her, even if you have known her only for a few hours. You get closer to her, so much so that you can feel the raspiness of her breath when you eye her lips. It isn't surprising then when, in the euphoria you're both experiencing, you don't hear the heavy steps of someone getting closer to you.

You get yanked from Lottie's grip, someone spins you around until you've met with his face again. "What the fuck are you doing?!" he snaps at you, his brows are furrowed and he looks even more of a rabid dog than when you left him. "Hello Brandon..." he grips your arms tighter, bruising your skin underneath; his breath is on your face,reeking of alcohol. "Hello'? What the fuck are you doing with this bitch?!" he starts to tug you around, all the while continuing to spit in your face insults.

As soon as he lets go of you Lottie reaches out and manhandles you behind her; a stern look appears on her face. "Hey, what's your problem?" she looks him up and down, studying him "My problem is you, and people like you" he spats out. "Like me?" she can feel her blood pressure rising, his implication not missed by Lottie.

Brandon's friends are near him, some giggle but others are trying to hold him down from exploding further. "Yeah, people like you and this bitch over here" he gestures at you with a nod, he seems to get even more red than he was before, almost looking rabid, "What the fuck are you talking about?".

Brandon seems to have been pushed over the edge, a wild look in his eyes, he sweats and screams on Lottie's face "You fucking faggots! You gross shit! Scum like you shouldn't even exist!" people are gathering now near, the music seems to almost have gone silent, flashes and giggles surround you. Lottie grips your hand tight, so tight that it hurts, "Lottie..." she turns around, her other hand placed on your hip and starts to lead you out of the party.

"Let's go" her voice wavering: for a split second, she saw her father spilling insults at her after she had told what she really was. "Yeah you better go! We don't want disgusting shits like you around here" Brandon is held back by his friends when he attempts to chase after you.

Through her clouded mind, Lottie doesn't miss Brandon's next words "You aren't even that good at soccer, I bet your father is really proud of his shitty disgusting lizzie daughter". Lottie feels her knuckles crush bone beneath them, and regains her consciousness, realizing she had punched Brandon right on the nose, in the exact same way she was hit the day's priors. He falls on his ass in the middle of his friend group, spurting insults and imprecations at you and Lottie. Before you can look at him, you're tugged out of the party. You run with Lottie, both with the fear that he might get out of his friend's grapes and follow you; you run across the small patch of woods just outside of Randy's house.

The night is lit by countless stars in the sky, wind blows through the trees and inside of your heart an euphoric feeling blooms. When you end up at the other side of the trees, in a clearance, you start to laugh at your heart's content; your laugh is so contagious that it starts to affect Lottie too -who previously was looking at you like you were mad- making her let out chuckles of her own.

You hold on to her, much like you did when you were at the party, she hides her face into your neck while still giggling: you start to notice the position you're in, her breath hitches when she notices how close you are and -more importantly- where her face is. Dark eyes reflect the night sky, she looks at you with something akin to adoration for a second, before she composes herself and let go of you, clearing her throat. "So ummm... who was that guy?" you rethink about the events of the night and -trying not to think- about how good Lottie looks right now. "He was my ex-boyfriend. He has been going a bit crazy since I broke up with him. I told him I... liked girls and he has been bothering me ever since I left him" Lottie let's out a small 'oh' of approval, taking in all that you said. "So... you like girls" she hums in thought; you inadvertently let out a laugh "Of course! I thought it was pretty obvious from how I was looking at you". Her face becomes beet red -'Shit, I looked so stupid! Why did I asked that?!'-, she scratches the back of her head while averting your gaze. Her hand is held by yours, she follows your movement and when she turns around, she's met with your lips on hers. She can't move the lips back, too stunned by your action to reciprocate the kiss but just when you thought of pulling away -'maybe she doesn't like me'- you feel her hands cupping your cheeks and deepening the kiss. -'Whoa... sparks...'- she thinks while deepening the kiss even more, it feels like millions of little light sparks shine on you and her. She's so close you can barely breathe, the air itself feels intoxicating, this is just too good to be true. When you pull away, both of you are blushing and messy, she looks amazing under the moonlight: hair messy, glasses slightly sliding to the side, skin so red and eyes watery. "Wow... this feels very... romantic..." she sighs into your neck, holding your chest to hers "We should do this more often..." you kiss her again, giddy, holding onto her neck "We definitely should!".

Something moves in the bushes rapidly, making both of you jolt up in fear that your ex might've catched up, Lottie is already ready to throw another punch, just when from the darkness between the trees, the Yellowjackets appear, all of them. "G-God!" an echo of 'oooh's' rise up from the group, Van begins the lead of them "Oh so that's what you were doing Lottie! We feared you got into a fight!". Van gets closer to you two, throwing her arm around Lottie's shoulders "Are you gonna introduce your 'friend' to us?", the taller girl puffs out a breath in annoyance "Oh fuck off!".

[buzzcutlip]

Hiiii... For your dialogue prompts could you do 'can't sleep?' or 'don't look at me like that' please?

You choose the character, whoever you think fits best.

Much love <3

Hi Amy, thank you for sending the prompt, here's one for you :) It exist in the Obsession universe (because I'm obsessed with it).

Prompt: "Don't look at me like that" Richie Jerimovich x Fem!Reader 1000+ words (happens in this universe, and after this - but I don't think you need to read it, however, it can be a bit vague)

Through the gaps between the guests' bodies, their shoulders and arms, you spot Richie. He’s shoving canapés into his mouth, the delicate, bite-sized bruschettas and caviar blini looking especially small in his long, thick fingers. It’s obvious he hasn’t eaten, which is typical Richie—he’s the “only coffee and cigarettes until midday, at least” guy, then grabs something quick, just to stuff himself with greasy fast food later in the evening.

You hate how well you know him, how hard it is not to notice his presence in Nat and Pete’s living room, crowded with close and extended family members, Pete’s co-workers, and of course, The Bear crew. Richie’s dressed in an unusual outfit—not a suit, but not his typical sweatsuit either. He’s wearing washed Levi’s and a dark gray henley.

You’d be lying if you said he doesn’t look good. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t still a little heartbroken over what he told you two weeks ago. This can’t happen again.

Petulantly, you don’t go over to greet him. Instead, you talk to Marcus, then catch Pete to congratulate him on the baby, handing him a card in a nice, expensive envelope. In the kitchen, you pour some fresh orange juice, bypass the alcohol, and cram as many ice cubes as you can into the glass. You don’t watch Richie directly, but you’re aware of his every movement.

Donna’s trying to shush everyone because Natalie’s putting the baby down in the nursery, which strikes you as funny—funny and ironic. You have little patience for parents who messed up their kids’ lives, whether it’s your own parents, Donna Berzatto, or the countless irresponsible people who should never have had children.

By the large window overlooking the garden, Richie finally approaches you. Small victories.

“What’re you doing?” His voice, once soothing, now grates on you.

That catches you off guard—it’s not what you were expecting.

“Celebrating the baby,” you reply, raising your half-empty glass of juice.

Richie scoffs, glancing up at the ceiling. It takes you a moment to catch up. He’s so simple, yet so complicated.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Richie warns, and you realize he’s noticed your constant awareness of him.

“Like what?” you play dumb.

“Like it’s all my fault,” Richie snaps, his voice rising slightly. One of the uncles turns to look.

Shaking your head in disbelief, you decide not to react. With so many people around, you don’t want to cause a scene. Under Richie’s heavy gaze, you leave the room and head upstairs in search of a bathroom.

Once you’ve freshened up, wiping the black mascara marks from under your eyes and reapplying your lipstick, you feel a bit better. But as soon as you open the door, Richie is right there, hooking his arm through yours and leading you into the nearest room—a guest room, from the look of it.

“What?” you snap, shaking him off and turning to face him.

“I wanna know what’s going on with you,” Richie growls, leaning down until your faces are mere inches apart.

The tension between you is thick, a mix of unresolved emotions and an undeniable physical pull. You both stand there, breathing heavily, caught between the chaos of the party downstairs and the storm brewing in this quiet room.

You can’t believe him. “What’s going on with me? You said things couldn’t happen again, but they did—once, twice. And it was you who initiated it.”

The weight of unspoken words and unsaid truths hangs heavily between you.

Richie steps back, half-turning as he groans loudly, covering his eyes with his large palm.

“Now you wanna pretend nothing ever happened?” you accuse, your voice sounding weaker than you intended.

Richie looks at you with an intensity that both excites and terrifies you. “Because it has to be that way. Fuck—I could be your dad. Jesus.” His hand flexes at his side, like he’s trying to hold himself back.

“But you’re not!” you shout. Richie steps back into your space, gripping your bare arm with one hand while covering your mouth with the other.

“There are people,” Richie hisses, his gaze flicking between your lips and your eyes.

For a second, you freeze, then you shake him off and step away. You don’t know this side of him—serious, cold, holding on to his façade as tightly as he can.

“I’m tired of never talking about it,” you say, shaking your head, glowering. You still call it “it,” avoiding the truth.

Richie frowns at you, his deep blue eyes searching for something. The noise from downstairs is loud—laughter, clinking glasses, doors opening and closing. It’s a wild new baby celebration, Berzatto-style. Better laughter than screaming.

A hollow feeling grows in your chest with each passing second. You’re afraid to speak up, so you wait for Richie to make a move.

“What if I said I wanted it?”

“Wanted what?” you ask, trying to mask the tremble in your voice, scared to hope that he means what you think he does. Would a man like Richie really give in? It’s never simple with him—his demons, his baggage, all the walls he’s built.

“If I wanted—this,” Richie waves between the two of you, avoiding your eyes.

Your stomach tightens. It’s not what you’d hoped for deep down, and a pang of disappointment hits you, but you knew this was coming. You step closer to him, your chest brushing against his. The magnetic pull between you is undeniable, and you know if you give in, it’ll consume you both. Maybe that’s exactly what you want. Friends with benefits never ends happily.

In the end, it’s Richie who reaches for you, kissing you with Earth-shattering force. His fingers, smelling faintly of olives, chives, and cigarettes, cradle your face, and you weakly cup his cheeks, feeling his beard under your palms.

You hear yourself whimper as your tongues meet, your eyebrows knitting together as your face crumples. You’re on the verge of tears. Maybe you are crying—Richie doesn’t understand anything, he’s so fucking stupid, and you can’t tell him, because then he’ll leave you and never come back.

The thoughts spur you on. You lead the kiss, desperately pressing closer, standing on your tiptoes, licking into his mouth, biting his lip. He grabs your wrists, as if he wants to say something, but you don’t let him.

Then a loud cracking noise from downstairs jolts you both, and you pull apart, fear of getting caught overtaking the need within you.

Your eyes are heavy with want, arousal pulsing through your body. Richie doesn’t look any better.

“Okay,” you say, though your heart flutters with a mix of anticipation and caution. “But if we’re doing this, it has to be clear—no more mixed signals. No denial.”

Richie’s eyes darken as he steps closer again, his hand trailing down your arm. “Deal,” he says, his voice low, filled with that familiar, irresistible edge. He leans in, his breath brushing against your lips. “We stick to what we know.”

[kinardsevan]

wip Thursday

tagged by the effervescent @perfectlysunny02, and in the same vein as them, don't I have a million WIPs? Yes, yes I do. But also, I mentioned this idea last week. And... well... oops? (And it's entirely their fault because of the violence they chose with THEIR teaser today.)

Alas, I give you unnecessary, momentary, legendary (working title)

-

Tommy wasn’t supposed to be here. That’s all he could think about; he wasn’t supposed to be here. 

He’d had a full day of plans while Evan was on shift. He was supposed to stop by Harbor and pick up a package he’d had shipped there and forgot to bring home the night before. He was supposed to have lunch with Howie and Jee-Yun. He was supposed to swing by the 118 and swap keys with Evan because something was going on with the Rubicon’s engine. He was supposed to spend the afternoon figuring out if it was going to be an easy fix or not. Evan would be home before sunset. 

He wasn’t supposed to be here. 

Except, Evan was back at work after being down with a nasty virus for the past few days, and the only thing that had really been helping him feel better was the honey citrus tea from their favorite café. It wasn’t even a drink that his boyfriend cared for that much, but Tommy had introduced it to him the first time he’d gotten sick a few months into their relationship, and it had been a game changer for him. It wasn’t a cure by any means, but it definitely helped. 

He wasn’t supposed to be here. 

“Natalie?” He croaks out her name, leaning half up off of the tile floor, hand pressed into his abdomen next to his hip. He can’t see her behind the glass casing that contains the pastries, and she hasn’t said anything in a few minutes. The higher he tries to sit himself up, the more pain shoots down his side. “Nat!?” 

It takes more than a few seconds, but eventually—too long—he hears the sound of what he assumes is broken glass shifting on the floor. A small whimper. 

“T-Tommy?” 

“Nat?” He calls back, turning his head towards the back of the counter again. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” 

She doesn’t respond, but then he sees the familiar flurry of jello-red hair appear from behind the pastry case, and then she’s climbing over the counter, her combat boots crunching glass on the floor as she moves towards him. Tommy looks up at her, his paramedic skills immediately kicking in as he takes her in. 

She’s got a cut on her forehead and her hands are bleeding—he assumes from all the broken glass. There’s a slash across her forearm where the knife got her, bleeding pretty decently. His eyes trail down to the side of her apron, the stain spreading across it and her jeans. She’s bleeding from somewhere on her leg. His gaze drifts to the counter and the streak of blood coming across it where she crawled over. 

“N-Nat, we gotta call the cops,” he tells her warily. 

“What if he comes back,” she asks anxiously, her voice shaking as tears come down her face. She sinks to the ground next to him, ignorant of the glass on the ground around him. 

Tommy shakes his head at her, digging into his pocket with blood-coated fingers, fumbling his phone when his fingers come into contact with it. He pulls it out as he looks back up at her. 

“You gave him everything, right,” he asks her. “Didn’t fight?” 

“No,” she sobs, leaning over him. “God, Tommy, I’m so sorry.” 

He shakes his head at her, reaching for one of the napkin holders knocked onto the floor nearby. 

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” he tells her. He keeps flashing hot and cold, and he can feel himself getting clammy. He tries to focus his attention on his phone, dialing the number into it. 

“Tommy, you’re bleeding,” she cries. 

“I’m fi-…fine,” he stammers, slumping back against the floor. “We’re fine.” 

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” 

“5943 Ventura Boulevard,” he rattles off. “This is off-duty Rescue 1701 out of Harbor Station, I need to be transferred to Maddie Buckley.” 

“Just a moment sir.” The line clicks off for all of ten seconds, and then clicks back on. 

“9-1-1, this is Maddie Buckley speaking,” her voice comes back. There’s just the slightest hitch of anxiety in her voice, like she knows being routed to personally isn’t normal. 

“Maddie,” he rasps, squeezing his eyes shut tightly, trying to get the tears out of them. 

“Tommy,” she replies, her voice suddenly flooded with panic. “What’s going on? Is Evan- a-are you- is Howie-…” 

“They’re fine,” he chokes out. “B-but, I need RA and police. S-Stabbing at the café.” 

His head drops back against the floor, and he can feel his vision getting fuzzy. He looks over at Natalie. She looks even more panicked than she did before. His gaze drifts down to where his other hand is. Blood is completely coated over his fingers. 

“N-Nat, I need you to use your apron to apply pressure,” he rasps. 

“Stabbing?! Tommy where are you,” Maddie cries from the other end of the line. Tommy rattles the address off to her again. 

“D-dont send Evan,” he rasps at her. “God, he can’t find me. You hear me, Maddie? Don’t send him. Do not let him see me like this.” 

She hiccups a cry on the other end of the line, and there are hushed voices clearly trying to get her off the line, but she speaks clearly enough that Tommy hears when she growls ‘no’ back at whoever is trying to get her to hand the call off. 

“You know I love him, right,” he continues. Natalie presses her apron into his side then and he can’t help the cry that falls out of his mouth. “F-fuck. M-Maddie?” 

“I know,” she cries. “Stay with me, Tommy. Don’t hang up on me.” 

He nods letting his head rest back against the floor. 

“No, come on, Tommy,” Natalie cries, pressing harder into his wounds. “Come on. Stay awake.” 

“Trying,” he murmurs, looking around the floor. “I-I, I want to marry him, you know,” he tells Maddie. “He just walked into my life like- like he was always supposed to be here. And I thought I’d lost out on my chance by taking too long to figure my shit out. Fuck, Nat. Yeah, that’s good, keep pushing down.” 

“He talks about you being it for him all the time,” Maddie replies. He can tell she’s crying. “Keeps telling me that he thinks you’ll be a great dad.” 

Tommy lets out a small laugh and then groans at the wave of pain that shoots across his abdomen and stomach. 

“I wasn’t sure, before him,” he replies, letting his eyes slip shut. The phone starts to sag in his hand, but the cry of Natalie’s voice and sudden, sharp pressure on his side has his eyes shooting open again. “Fuck, okay. Okay.” He swallows hard, taking a breath. “B-but if anyone could convince me that we could do it together, it’s him.” 

Maddie hiccups another sob. “I’ve watched him lose one relationship after another, think what he’s holding onto is the right one while knowing it isn’t. But I never said anything because I was just his sister, you know? And I know you said he walked into your life, but you spun into his with a literal hurricane and I’ve never seen him… I don’t even know, Tommy. This settled? Happy? Secure?” 

“H-he deserves it,” Tommy rasps, his head lolling back and eyes getting heavier. 

“Damn it, Tommy, come on,” Natalie cries. “Stay awake, please.” 

“s’getting harder,” Tommy slurs. “Maddie, I love him. So much more than I’ve ever loved anyone else. Want him more, dream about him more, choose him more. My life begins and ends at Evan Buckley.” The tears swimming in his eyes finally slip down the side of his face, his vision tight now, and extremely hazy. 

“Tommy, stay with me,” Maddie cries. Her voice seems farther away now. “The ambulance is so close. Please?” 

“Tell him I love him more than anything else,” he replies, coughing out another groan. “That I choose him. Every day, all the time. I pick him.” He pauses for a moment, his eyes too heavy to open back up. “I love you, Evan.” 

[kanencrow]

Comfort Under the Moonlight - Jackie Taylor | One Shot

Summary: A week after the crash that forced an indefinite stay within the Canadian Rockies, you wake up from a bad dream, and Jackie finds herself intuitively waking up to trail after you.

Warnings: Swearing, Slight Jeff Slander, Implied JackieShauna x Reader, Technically Injured!Reader (you have an abdominal wound that is described at some parts in this).

A/N: All characters are 18+ by default. This is another scrapped piece of writing from an old story I wanted to make. It kind of shares the same beginning as 'The Devil's Lettuce' because this one is rewritten to involve Jackie and Shauna, rather than Natalie. The entire piece is definitely not the same though, but there is still that level of tension between you and Jackie that was present in my other one shot.

Word Count: 5000+

Your eyes shot open, as a sharp gasp escaped your lips.

Immediately, your brain felt like a puddle of disorganized thoughts and memories as you pressed a hand to the floor to brace yourself, using it as a form of grounding for your panicked mind, while your wide, tired eyes stared towards the stone material of the fireplace. You could feel a pair of limbs wrapped around your waist from behind, and with the way you felt as though you had been coiled in a snake's death grip, you could detect that it was Shauna.

The reminder that she was there – that you were back within the reality you knew, helped you relax slightly, even if your heart still slammed powerfully against your ribcage, as though it wanted out. You breathed quietly, your clear anxiety noticeable to anyone who was awake, but it was obvious that you were the only conscious soul in the room. The brunette continued to mutely snore against the back of your neck, always a heavy sleeper, and although you wanted to settle back into a state of calm and warmth and sleep like your body craved, you couldn't.

The moon illuminated certain parts of the vicinity, you noticed, and that deduction only proved that your brain had decided to wake you up at the ungodliest of hours. You wanted to groan and scream your frustration because you loved your rest, but you lacked the energy entirely. Just like how your body lacked the enthusiasm to sleep. While everyone slumbered peacefully – as peacefully as they could while they slept on the floor of the main area of the cabin, you were wide awake and still attempting to calm down from the staggering nightmare you had.

It was about the cabins' attic, and dread filled your stomach the moment your mind redirected its focus onto the memory of what Taissa had found up there, almost a week ago. The owner of the building you and the rest of the people that survived the crash now lived in, had killed himself with a rifle that seemed no worse for wear.

Granted, you gained a weapon and an almost endless supply of ammunition to protect yourselves from any predator that may have lurked in the forest that surrounded the cabin, but the memory of taking his skeletal remains down from the attic and out of the building plagued your mind like a virus, which caused a bitter taste to coat your tongue.

You couldn't help but swallow the disgusting flavor the moment you sensed it, and shortly after, you felt yourself start to feel claustrophobic with where you were, surrounded by others – held by one – who were ignorant to your current predicament. Of course, it wasn't anything you faulted them for, but you didn't want to be around a place that did nothing but provide you with uncertainty and a lack of serenity.

With a quiet clearing of your throat, you silently pushed yourself up from where you laid beneath the grasp of Shauna. You were careful in the way you pried her arms off of you, and you almost winced when she grazed the wound on your torso throughout her state of unconsciousness and clinginess. Nonetheless, you managed to sneak away from her physical affection, and with a slowness that made you seem like you were stuck in slow-motion, you walked towards the entrance of the cabin, socked feet padding against the hardwood softly.

It didn't take long before you slipped on your unlaced boots that sat beside it, and the moment you tied them, you rose to your full height and opened the entryway, as you glanced back to stare towards your two best friends that you left behind, who were clearly none the wiser to your escape.

Jackie had her face pressed against the back of Shauna's neck, clutching her gently like a teddy bear, just like how she always did whenever the three of you had sleepovers, and the brunette's arms were stretched out in front of her, clearly not having roused from your movement. The sight managed to soothe your mind, and when the memory popped up into your head, but it wasn't a feeling that lingered. Not when the nagging reminder that you all were trapped in the forest swooped through your brain like a slicing knife.

For a split second, you wanted to lay back down and fall into their shared warmth, but your body and brain had become restless, and the last thing you desired was to bother them with your constant squirming while you attempted to force sleep onto yourself.  Still, you admired the two for a moment longer, before you eventually breathed in and turned around, as you sluggishly slipped out of the cabin.

The door eventually shut with a quiet click behind you, and you were immediately thankful that you slept with a hoodie on, when a particular chill ran up your spine, due to the wind that wafted against your face and brushed through the short strands of your hair. It didn't take you long before you threw your hood up over your head and shoved your hands into the frontal pouch of the sweatshirt, as you trailed down the porch steps and traversed across the open space of the yard. You immediately directed your route to the nearby lake, and you couldn't help but glance up to stare at the moon, which tried to hide behind the trees that loomed over you.

The walk there wasn't as long as you expected it to be. With your shoulders hunched up to try and provide yourself with more warmth, you breathed out a deep exhale and watched as it turned into visible air in front of you, due to the nightly chill that the spring weather brought about. You were thankful it wasn't cold enough to where you would freeze to death down by the shoreline of the lake, but it definitely didn't provide you with that warming comfort the sheltered interior of the cabin brought you.

But you needed to leave there, just for a short while, while you collected your thoughts and calmed down from the nightmare you had. Now, it felt like a blur to you, when you tried to recollect what happened, and it only made you somewhat frustrated, as you mindlessly scaled down the steep hill that led to the large body of water up ahead.

You couldn't hear much, other than the occasional sound of the rippling tide that washed up onto the shoreline. It acted as your form of white noise, while you walked over to the familiar dried-out log you had found solace in the first time you came to the lake. However, instead of sitting on the rocky ground, you sat on the wood, and the moment you lowered yourself down onto it, you let out a heavy exhale, as your tired eyes mindlessly roamed around to stare at nothing in particular.

The moon was out on full display, now that trees didn't cover it from illuminating the environment you resided in. Owls cooed in the distance, and you heard an occasional rustling reverberating from the forest that sat far behind you.

While your hands sat snugly in the pouch of your sweatshirt, the hood that hung over your head fell down to pool behind you when a particularly heavy gust of wind hit against your face. You shivered at the feeling, but you didn't make an effort to resituate what had fallen, as you breathed in deeply, before you exhaled and allowed the quiet atmosphere to calm all the woes that attempted to plague your mind like poison.

Your slowly healing torso and burns were no longer your worry, not anymore, now that a week and a half had passed, which did the job in getting rid of most of the pain that enjoyed lingering around the entirety of your abdomen. Of course, the actual injury still remained, but it was already starting to heal around the edges, which only signified that it was going to go away sooner, rather than later.

It was mainly the thoughts of what your life was like, now, that seemed to suffocate you.

But, unfortunately, you weren't able to dwell on them, when you heard a voice.

"Y/n? What the hell are you doing out here?"

The curious but otherwise disgruntled tone of Jackie's groggy voice filled your ears, and your shoulders flinched in response, as your body twisted around to try and find where she was, even if the sudden jolt of pain that shot up your abdomen was the indicator that your brain disliked your decision. You couldn't begin to care in the first place, though, and it didn't take long before stood up to your full height and settled your eyes onto her form, while she walked down the expanse of the shore and towards the log, which caused the rocks to move under her shoes.

She wore the same striped rugby shirt you had seen her in the first time you and her shared silent glances at the lake, but the rest of her appearance was entirely different, which didn't at all signify that she had planned to wake up in the middle of the night and speak to you. Her grey sweatpants hung on her hips loosely, and the dark blue shirt she wore peeked out from underneath the hem of her long-sleeve, which only managed to show off her unkempt nature.

You weren't any better, however. Sporting the same pastel lavender hoodie you wore – your mother's hoodie, as well as a pair of loose red plaid pajamas that encouraged a gentle remark of 'we're matching' from Shauna when she first saw you wearing them. They were bunched up due to your boots, and it only made your entire appearance make you look as though you had just rolled out of bed and decided to go on a leisurely walk, which��wasn't actually a lie.

It was clear that your movement had – somehow – managed to stir Jackie awake, even if she hadn't been the one whose arms you pried yourself out of, and you felt a hint of guilt melt inside your chest. "H-Hey, Jax." Your voice cracked the moment you uttered the greeting, sending her a strained smile. Of course, it didn't lessen her suspicion of you, when she lulled her head to the side and slumped her shoulders, as if she didn't buy your facade of normalcy at all whatsoever.

Even with the distance between the two of you, it wasn't difficult to detect the slightly grumpy but concerned glint that shined beneath her hazel eyes. Her arms were crossed over her chest, with her hip popped out slightly, giving you the characteristic Taylor stance she would always portray whenever she was on the verge of scolding someone. A part of you realized that you didn't deserve the attitude, though at the same time, you knew that she was someone who liked to know where you – or even Shauna – were at, at all times. And you had a constant habit of wandering off without a word, which always managed to get on her nerves the most out of her and the brunette, who was more than likely still slumbering peacefully beside the fireplace.

"What're you doing out here?"

When Jackie asked the question, you shrugged your shoulders, as if you yourself weren't sure as to why you were at the lake of all places. She moved her legs again to walk towards where you stood beside the log with a laziness in her step, trying not to break an ankle in the process, and it only gave you more time to come up with a response of some sort. "I... had a bad dream." Your eyes followed her form, all the while, watching her in a way that made it seem as though you were nervous of her reaction.

But she remained silent, and it didn't take long before she rounded around the dried-out tree trunk and stopped to idle in front of you, which forced you to turn towards her, as an expression of sudden worry shifted onto her features. She stared at you mutely, like she was waiting for you to say something else, to explain yourself in one way or another, but all you could do was weakly raise your hands up in defeat and turn your head away from her to mindlessly stare towards the water, reflecting the illumination of the moonlight beautifully. "I don't know. I guess that dead cabin guy being, well... dead..." you trailed off and parted your lips to exhale softly, "guess it kinda got to me."

With the way you despondently stared out towards nothing, you didn't notice the way Jackie's eyes shifted down in thought, as if she was mulling over the words you had uttered. "Oh," she hushed, her voice coming off as more of a raspy coo than anything else, and when you heard the simple word slip from her lips, you couldn't help but shift your gaze back towards her again. Your interest in her only seemed to increase, when she stepped forward and pulled your cold hands out from the pouch of your hoodie by grasping your wrists.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" You glanced down at the way her fingers trailed down and coiled around your palms, frigid skin against a slightly less chilled pairing of flesh, but even then, you felt a bloom of warmth flutter throughout your chest in turn, as the pads of her thumbs rubbed along your knuckles in a delicate manner that made you feel solace, "I could've helped," she told you gently, "and we'd be in the comfort of a warm cabin, but... I digress," she quickly muttered out, her lips barely moving as she said that, which only warranted amusement to escape you in the form of a huff.

"Needed to take a walk," you explained simply, clarifying yourself, even if you knew that you didn't need to. "I didn't really want to be in there, either." You squeezed her hands with a firmness that grabbed her attention, when she suddenly blinked back into reality and sent you a small smile, as if to say, 'I'm listening, and I understand.' Even then, you could only smirk softly at her, the corner of your lip curving up, and your silent response earned a tightened grip on your palms. "It's been getting kinda stuffy in there, and I just..." you shrugged your shoulders and glanced back towards the water, "I wanted an escape from it for a bit. Have some time alone with my thoughts, or whatever."

"Would you like some company, then?" Jackie questioned.

You immediately nodded your head, before you turned your eyes back to meet her own. "Yeah, I'd like that," you hummed out, "if you don't mind staying out here for a while," you added on, quietly, as your fingers reassuringly squeezed her hands. "I know it's kinda cold." You yourself weren't a fan of the cold, but the thought of heading back towards your place of refuge filled your chest with a feeling of dread. You would have loved, more than anything, to stay inside a warm safe haven and hash out your emotions and thoughts with one of your best friends whom you often didn't get to have those conversations with, but that wasn't what your brain was in search of.

Nor was your heart.

And Jackie seemed to catch on to the internal struggle, when she moved closer to you and fell flush against your chest, as she guided your hands to wrap around her back. "I don't mind," she mumbled, all the while, and you found yourself swallowing a lump that had suddenly formed in your throat, while you hesitantly coiled your arms around her waist. You felt her own do the same to your torso shortly after, and she inevitably settled her head against your shoulder and stared up at you thoughtfully.

"This makes the cold a little more bearable," she added, eventually. Her breath, hot and so close, wafted against the skin of your neck, and you had to hold yourself back from pulling away from her in turn. It was almost instinctual to simply shy away from any form of physical touch from her. She was your friend, granted, but you didn't – you couldn't – see her that way, which did nothing but make things more... awkward.

The same could have been said for Shauna, too.

There was no denying that you loved both of them, in a way that you probably shouldn't have, but at least with the brunette, the two of you had already delved deep into a relationship that definitely surpassed the boundaries of friendship. With Jackie? She was dating a guy that you didn't like, and she probably only preferred men to begin with, so it wasn't as though you stood a chance. However, even with all of that information, it didn't take away your ability to care about her.

You always would.

You promised – to yourself, mainly – that you would always be there for her. If Jeff cheated on her again, or they got into a petty argument, or her parents got on her case about something entirely trivial... you would always be on her side, and you would be the first to talk shit, even if Shauna lightly scolded you for your crude comments under the facade that she herself disagreed with your opinions. It was why you never took her seriously when she would tell you off, because you knew that she felt the same exact way.

You wondered if she also had a crush on Jackie.

With the way you had seen Shauna look at her, it made it pretty apparent that she did.

Which only complicated things more.

"Is this... okay?"

You were startled out of your thoughts by the voice of Jackie again. Your eyes immediately widened in response to the sound, and as you blinked, your focus fell down onto the awaiting gaze of the soccer captain, who had leaned back to stare at you with a look of subtle concern on her features. She almost looked... insecure, too. It was a sight you didn't often see on her, and when you would, it only ever had to do with what she was wearing, or with Jeff and regarding something that he had told her. Something backhanded. Noticing it on her face, and realizing that it was directed towards you only seemed to make your heart jump to your throat, and before you could truly ask yourself if it was okay that she was hugging you for longer than you were used to, you spoke up and nodded your head casually. "Yeah, of course it's okay."

Was it?

There was a beat of silence after your words, which were mumbled out with a quickness that would have made anyone turn their head and raise an eyebrow. Jackie could only stare at you with a look of thought on her features, eyes flickering across your own for longer than you were used to, before she eventually smiled at you, small and soft, and lowered her head back down to rest it against your shoulder, speaking out of view, while her breath fanned across the skin of your neck, again.

"Okay, good." Her arms tightened around you again, squeezing you with a security that made you feel warmer than you had already become, just from her touching you, and she was swift to continue on shortly after, as a soft sigh slipped past her lips, and she nestled her cheek into the soft fabric of your hoodie. "Remember when we were at that campfire the night the plane crashed?" she suddenly asked, her voice raspy and gentle as it hit your ear.

Your eyebrows flinched down as a reaction, even if her speaking brought comfort to you. Confusion couldn't help but fester within your brain and chest, and you found yourself breathing in while you stared off towards nothing, only seeing darkness behind the line of trees that separated the shoreline the two of you stood on from the surrounding ones. "I do, yeah," you replied softly, your own voice containing a hint of huskiness to it, due to the lack of use your vocal cords had gotten. "Why?"

"I didn't save Van," Jackie uttered, as she leaned more of her body weight into you, "it's why they made that comment about the whole Corn Nuts thing." She squeezed you tighter, fingers curling into the fabric of your hoodie, as if she wanted you to melt into her. All you could do was hug her back and lightly scratch the length of her spine with the dullness of your nails. "I mean, I-I tried to help them, because they were, like... stuck in their seat, but there was a fire and... and Shauna..." she trailed off suddenly, her words stopping as though she had been punched in the chest.

You could only continue to mindlessly rub her back, and when you moved your hand up to play with the baby hairs that her messy pony-tail showcased at the nape of her neck, she continued, after a moment. "She wanted to save Van, but I... I didn't want to lose her, all because she wanted to play the hero."

You weren't aware of what had transpired throughout the time that you were unconscious, and hearing that Van could have died because of the fact that Jackie wanted to keep Shauna safe only made you feel conflicted. Even if you were mainly on her side, you still cared about that comedic redhead, and the thought of something terrible happening to them made you feel nauseous.

"You were... just looking out for Shaun," you hummed out softly, still pondering, "that's not a good reason for you to be faulted. But I can see why Van wasn't entirely thrilled when you prevented Shauna from saving them," you added on, which made her sigh in response. It was one that carried weight to it, like she reluctantly – guiltily – agreed with you, and instead of pointing it out, you could only continue, while your head turned slightly to stare towards the water, mindlessly watching as the waves creeped up onto the shoreline. "Did you try apologizing to them?"

Jackie stayed silent for a moment, before she huffed and replied. "No."

Her response reminded you of a child who had been called out for stealing a cookie, and was in the process of confessing their thievery. You felt a wave of amusement hit your chest in turn, which forced a soft chuckle to bubble up from the depths of your chest. "Well, maybe you should think about doing that then, Jax," you mumbled out. Your tone held no malice behind it when you lightly chided her, but it was clear that she didn't appreciate your honesty either way, when she lifted her head from your shoulder and leaned back slightly, just to meet her hazel eyes with your own.

"You don't think I've tried?" Jackie asked, though you knew the question was entirely rhetorical, when she shook her head and softly scoffed, glancing away from you to stare towards the middle of your chest, "Every time I've tried to talk to them, they've shut me down and walked away," she admitted, "so, it's easier said than done to just apologize about leaving them to die, and moving on." She shrugged her shoulders, as if that was all she had left in her bag of defense, and when she fluttered her eyes away from yours to stare towards the illuminated water that the moon's light hit, you pursed your lips and sluggishly pulled away from her.

Your arms dropped to your sides, and instead of gaining a retort of annoyance from Jackie at your movement, she simply turned her head to watch you silently instead. "Give it time," you eventually mumbled. You didn't know what else to say, other than that, but it wasn't like it mattered, when you received a subtle smile from your best friend in turn while she watched as you shuffled back and lowered yourself down to sit on the dried-out log.

You were quick to clutch your side, all the while, the action creating nothing but discomfort to your stitched up, barely healing wound, and the moment your free hand pressed against the smooth bark of the makeshift seat, the dirty-blonde stepped forward slightly, which caused the rocks to crack together beneath her shoes. "I'm sure Van'll forgive you eventually," you added on with a strained voice, "maybe do things to butter them up."

"That's what you do to me whenever I'm upset with you," Jackie uttered endearingly, as she stepped over to the log and settled down beside you shortly after. The moment she did, her shoulder pressed against your own, and you unconsciously leaned into her, while your eyes stared out towards the lake. "I doubt that's gonna work with Van," she admitted, "especially with Taissa around."

You almost perked up at the clear implication behind her words – that she knew about the couple's relationship and how it pushed past the boundaries of platonic nature. Your expression couldn't help but light up, even in your attempt to hide your shock towards her observation, and she seemed to recognize your attitude when she glanced over at you and let out a laugh. "Yeah, I know they're together," she stated, "it's pretty obvious."

For some reason, your heart leapt to your throat as though it wanted out again. Maybe you shouldn't have been surprised, but you were, anyway. A part of you wondered if she had any inkling about you. Were my own feelings as apparent as they felt? You could have very well been overthinking it. With the lack of sleep and the borderline delirium you experienced, it would have made sense.

Either way, you tried your hardest to shrug it off as though her comment wasn't something that clashed with your own personal thoughts, and she seemed to buy it, when she looked at you earnestly, lacking the telltale sign that she was suspicious of your own reaction. "Yeah, I mean... yeah." You chuckled awkwardly, the words tumbling out of your mouth like water, "It's pretty clear that they're, y'know... together." You paused, and it gave Jackie a moment to quietly giggle at your sudden sheepishness, and all you could do in response was falter, as your eyebrows furrowed to showcase sudden curiosity. "That doesn't, like... weird you out?"

"What," Jackie replied, "those two being together?" She tilted her head at you, as if she was genuinely curious about your question and what you were intending to mean. You could only nod, as your lips parted, faltering and clueless on how to verbally respond, which only encouraged her to continue, when her hazel eyes flickered down your face, and her expression softened into a look of warmth and gentleness.

"I think it's... sweet," she hummed out, "I'm almost kinda envious of what they have, honestly." Her gaze flickered up to meet yours again, and she chuckled stiffly, "Jeff is... Jeff," she stated simply, "and although I love him, I just... it feels like there's something missing between me and him. But I don't know what it is."

Maybe all you need to do is find a replacement.

"You already know how I feel about him," you mumbled.

Your simple statement earned a soft laugh from Jackie in turn, "Yeah," she muttered, "I know." She lightly nudged your shoulder, which made your body jostle slightly, before you fell back into position, and she lulled her head down to rest her temple against it. "I was actually thinking of breaking up with him after Nationals, if you can believe it," she admitted softly. Your eyes immediately widened at that. You were thankful she didn't see you, though you were certain she would have rolled her eyes with playful intention if she did.

You almost felt excited in response to that tidbit of information, and when you were too stuck in your state of astonishment, she continued, as her arms wrapped around your elbow and she hugged it, "I know what I said in the car, just a few days before that party," she started, "y'know... about staying with him through college and everything, but... I gave it a lot of thought after, and... I don't know." She shrugged, "I think you and Shauna made me realize that I deserve better."

"You think?" you repeated softly, your tone almost teasing, as your eyes shifted away from the water to stare down at Jackie's face. Her head rested against your shoulder, and when she felt you shift, her own gaze lifted to meet yours, which allowed you to see the shy smile that formed on her face in response to your question.

"Okay, okay," she relented, "I know you and Shauna made me realize that I deserve better." 

"I'll throw a celebration when that day comes," you muttered softly, before you turned your head away from her to stare up towards the moon, admiring the way it smiled down at the two of you, as if you and Jackie were the only ones on earth.

Jackie hummed, though the sound held a somewhat melancholic tone to it. "If it comes."

"It will, Jax," you responded gently, even if you yourself weren't entirely sure whether or not your words were going to come to fruition. Someone had to withhold some form of optimism when others couldn't, and it was clear that you took on that role, with the way Jackie had fallen into a pulsating state of highs and lows that had been going on ever since the plane crashed in the first place.

She huffed quietly from beside you, and when her fingers mindlessly intertwined with yours, her palm pressing flush against yours, you raised your arm and planted a firm kiss to her sun-kissed knuckles. "We'll get through this, one way or another," you mumbled against her skin, before pulling away and allowing your connected limbs to fall against your leg, "I promise."

Your best friend nestled herself closer to you, and when she let out a soft exhale from where her head rested against your shoulder, she spoke up. "I hope you're right."

You hoped you were right, too.

[webslingingslasher]

Frat!Peter not hearing from you for a day or two because you broke a bone and when you got to the frat house you show him and are like look how cool and he’s just no??? you got hurt??? why didn’t you say anything baby???

okay so, maybe peter isn’t the best at showing how much he cares for you, but he really does. and when you ghost him the night you were supposed to come over it worried him, he tried calling and texting and got nothing. eventually it went to voicemail, either he was blocked or it was off.

then the next day hits and he’s still heard nothing and now he’s hurt, because if you were ditching him and whatever you had, the least you could do is tell him so he’s not worried.

and as soon as he’s about to go bust down your door there’s a knock on his and it’s you. in a red and blue cast, it wrapped around your hand, thumb and fingers poking out, and all the way up your elbow.

you hold it in front of his face, then shake it for emphasis. “i broke it.”

peter grabs it and pulls it down, his thumbs rubbing the cemented wrap. his heart pulls, you were hurt and didn’t call him, or let him know.

“when, last night?”

stepping around him you walk in his room and sit on the bed, “natalie’s fault, she made me get on one of those electric scooter things with her. she wiped out and landed on my arm. it made a sick crunch, you would’ve gagged.”

bouncing in your seat you rotate your arm, getting used to the new weight.

“why didn’t you call me?”

you laugh, like the idea was stupid, “like you’d care? i mean, what would you have done? tell me go to to a hospital?”

he really fucking hates that that’s what you think of him, he might play dumb on the boyfriend thing, but he’s sleeping with you and cares about you to the millionth degree.

“i do care, baby. i would’ve taken you to a hospital, i would’ve held your hand as they reset it and i would’ve made it less scary.”

it sounds like he really does care.

“well, if you want, you can come with me to get it off? and be the first one to sign it.”

it makes him feel better.

grabbing a sharpie and your arm, he scrawls a message.

“did you see i got the spider-man colors?”

“i did, does it make you feel tougher?”

“i think so. and i think he’d think it was cool.”

“the coolest.”

biting your bottom lip to stop the stretching smile at his message.

‘trouble- you really had to break my favorite hand to hold? love, peter.’

gushing, “aww! petey!”

deadpan, “i’ll break the other one.”

[the-lonelyshepherd]

what’s your opinion on the travlottienat s2 sex scene

hi! um category five autism event and i got way too serious about this. however its not my problem.

oookay SO first off obligatory i am a minor BUT we are analyzing this from a narrative/plot perspective and not in a sexual way. theres naked people in art its fine. I think this scene is fascinating from like. not a shipping perspective but a character based one. it shows a lot about travis and it also shows a lot about lottienat (mostly talking abt the character combo and less the ship) and also jackie. yeah, jackie.

Madonna della Pietà, Michaelangelo

To start - even w how it looks, this is a Lottienat scene. Not even from a shipping perspective but because this scene SHOWCASES their "rivalry", the contrast in their characters and how they are perceived to the rest of the team (w Travis as a stand in for the team). It shows how they're both very present figures in the whole yellow jackets situation (shown through travis but can apply to all of them imo). Nat is there with travis. shes physical, shes providing. But lottie is also there spiritually, and against the norm, leading whats going on.

Nat as the physical

lottie as the spiritual.

so despite the fact that natalie is physically there, travis cant (probably physically cant as hallucinations are NOT voluntary) take his mind off lottie. because she can give him something, in his mind, that nat cant. Shes almost an escape - nat is the harsh reality hes living while lottie is the voice that brings him hope that his brother is alive. lottie is someone who can lead in a way that he wants to make sense. and its an idealized version of her in his mind, probably stemming from his issues w authority figures like his dad and the built up version of masculinity in his mind.

And this scene also emphasizes Nat’s role in the Javi situation. Because of this:

The wound on her leg where she faked Javi’s death so that Travis would stop his self-destructive search for his brother, who by all means should have been dead. Why? Because who is Nat but a realist? She’s gotten everything from life thrown at her and came out of it with that attitude, and who can blame her?

But this scene is right after she brings Travis forged proof that his brother is dead. Her guilt is present through this scene, and showing the wound is to emphasize that. layers!!! but travis has a lot of guilt throughout this scene as well - not only because of the supposed death of his younger brother that he as the older sibling feels at fault for but also… the jackie situation.

The Jacke of it all:

yeah this is a jackie scene. not only is it right before when they FUCKING EAT HER but like in spirit as well. Okay so the thing is that jackie is the character who puts the most emphasis on virginity, we all know this, but in the end it's travis that gets the "first time" that she puts so much emphasis on. Yes, jackie and travis lose their virginities to each other, but in this scene travis checks off doing it with his actual girlfriend. That, and he does almost the same thing jackie did with jeff. She looks to shauna's photo, travis thinks of lottie. They have to be outside of their bodies to perform because both of them have hangups (for one reason or another).

It's not that Travis doesn't want to have sex like jackie with jeff, he clearly tries, but he can't do it while thinking very clearly. First by being drugged, then by imagining himself doing something unrelated. And they would've been happier if they hadn't done it - jackie is immediately shunned for it. If you think about it, she literally dies for it. Travis feels like he cheated and did something wrong despite being drugged out of his mind and having no real control over the situation (something jackie didnt know). and then IMMEDIETLY after this scene, there’s the Jackie feast. Not only is she everywhere symbliocally, shes also physically in them now. THE JACKIE OF IT ALLLLL

The Pietà

The Pietà is a reference to the 6th sorrow of mary. for all you guys who arent christian/catholic →

The Seven Sorrows of Mary are seven significant moments in her life:

Simeon's prophecy of joy and sorrow.

The flight to Egypt to escape King Herod.

Finding Jesus in the temple after being lost.

Mary meeting Jesus on his way to crucifixion.

Witnessing Jesus' crucifixion and death.

Holding Jesus' body after his crucifixion.

Jesus' burial, which Mary mourns.

To clear things up here - lottie as mary in this context is not a “maternal” as in motherly way - imo its supposed to be peace and hope, guidance/authority. travis, despite being famous for his daddy issues, is hinted at having mommy issues as well (see: him not getting hugged goodbye by his mom in the pilot while his dad and javi both do)

also, he clearly struggles a lot w masculinity - having a woman in authority doesnt come naturally to him, but in this moment it is his only comfort.

so in the wilderness, there’s a complete power shift from the outside world. in this isolated environment there’s a female majority - specifically, the team, who already (roughly….. it gets messy but ykwim) trust and know each other. they already have a, albeit shifting, power dynamic established. in the normal, precrash, world, it would be isolated to them. but post crash, they are now the majority and the three guys left standing are now forced to assimilate into that instead.

Ben had power - he was one of their coaches and an adult - but with the death of coach martinez, he loses a lot of power 1) because he’s only an assistant 2) hes outnumbered 3) he doesnt want to be in charge of these insane girls anymore. he just wants gay daydreams. let him live.

Then there’s Javi - he’s younger, and none of the girls really know him, but they’re generally nice to him. he cant contribute much though - and eventually he has to contribute all he has - his literal flesh.

Finally travis - arguably the most involved as he is the same age as the team. this puts him on their field as “involved”. He originally has this very built up view of masculinity that you can tell stems from a place of self consciousness/ self loathing as well as a buildup of society’s expectations on him as a teenage boy in the 90’s. He’s supposed to be tough, hes supposed to be in charge, hes supposed to be better. And when hes thrown into this female dominated space it completely falls apart. He’s not the best shooter, he doesn’t have authority or leadership. The only other older male figures are dead or have tried their best to remove themselves from the situation. He has to completely reevaluate everything he knows - Travis has come to learn that there is power in being near and simply being an approximation of femininity.

Travis has come to learn that there is power in being near and simply being an approximation of femininity. Travis has gone from the top (he was never really there, but the built up idea of masculinity put him there in his mind, though even then he had doubts and it came from a negative place) and to bottom of the totem pole - and now he’s rising back up to somewhere in the middle by connecting with femininity, by recognizing women in authority, and also trying to have that hope and spiritual belief that is brought about by these female figures. The middle is where travis can reconcile with the weirder things (ive been in discussions about how travis actually parodies a lot of classic feminine tropes) that clash with what travis should be.

overall this scene is fucking insane. its lottienat its travnat its mommy issues its daddy issues its deadass jackie its an older brothers guilt its religious its a sin its deconstructing the very nature of yourself and those around you. all through the power of weird sex hallucination. and eating someone right after.

if youre still here i love you. please send me yellowjackets discussion asks i love them so much <3 feel free to ask questions and shit, also if none of this makes sense im sorry lmao.

ALSO. special thanks to @periwinklekryptonite who like carried this discussion and came up with like half of tjis. ask him about trans travis or travis in general or maybe pike. shoooo go send him travis questions.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I feel like this is a horrible thing to say, but when I'm shown examples of when Marinette is having a hard time, it's hard for me to feel bad for her.

It's not like I think she deserves it and I certainly don't draw any joy from it, but I just don't feel any sympathy for when she's struggling.

My theory is that the show has toted her so much as the all-important one-and-only, all while ignoring everyone else's important moments and struggles, that I'm struggling to feel sympathetic for when Marinette is going through some sort of misfortune. Every single one of her struggles are always highlighted in such a way that it's supposed to be this incredibly-important thing that makes Marinette look so sad, but then she's comforted and validated until eventually, this struggle eventually gets resolved and she's all happy again.

But then there's Adrien. No closure about his mom, his dad, Natalie—nothing. He's slapped with all the responsibility of comforting and validating Marinette, who eventually gets her personal conflicts resolved without lasting impact.

I'm not saying Marinette hasn't done anything to comfort and validate Adrien, but his conflicts just feel largely brushed aside and/or downplayed in comparison to Marinette's, which are highlighted and emphasized as significant events.

I don't know if this makes me a bad person or something, and I do kind of feel bad about it, but I just struggle to sympathize with her when the show tries to make us feel bad for her.

Marinette is a fictional character. It's totally fine if the bad writing has completely turned you off to her and drained you of sympathy because the entire purpose of her existence is to entertain people. She's not some meaningful representation that you should want to connect with and understand to improve your world view or something like that. She's just a poorly written teenager in a bad kids show. As long as you're able to acknowledge that fact and own that this is mainly a writing issue - and it sounds like you are - I wouldn't stress about it. The writers have done a lot to make her unlikable! I totally get why someone would not want to watch a show starring her canon self. I struggle at times and I genuinely like Marinette! Her writing is one of the many reasons I just don't know if I'm going to watch season six.

I don't defend Marinette because she's done nothing wrong. I defend her because her faults are so clearly just bad writing and not some grand plan for the character where she's going to learn something, which makes me feel protective of her because I genuinely love the base character concept and what she could have been. It's annoying to see people treating her like she's the problem and not the writing because she's literally not allowed to learn lessons and change, so of course she keeps coming across worse and worse! Her flaws are genuinely fine for a serialized story, they just have no place in an episodic one where the characters stay largely stagnant.

For example, nothing about the season five conflict and final naturally follows the BS season four conflict where she supposedly learned to trust Chat Noir. As much as I don't agree that with that synopsis of what the conflict was, it is how Ladybug sums it up in the final:

Ladybug: Why don't you just give up on me? I've lost ALL the Miraculous! I'm the worst Guardian EVER! I wanted to control everything, I didn't listen to you, I lied to you, I kept you at a distance! Every time you offered me a helping hand, I never took it! I really made a mess of EVERYTHING! Cat Noir: We're gonna get them back one by one…until the very last. And we'll make sure this never happens again.

And yet none of this seems to impact season five. Chat Noir and Ladybug maintain all their secrets and they do absolutely nothing to track down the missing miraculous because the plot won't let them even though it really doesn't fit Marinette's character. She certainly hasn't given up controlling things because, once again, the show literally will not let her do that. The rare episodes where it happens always see her punished like when Alya handing out miraculous lead to SentiNino which almost lead Gabriel to knowing Ladybug's secret identity. Adrien suffers for similar reasons. So does Alya and so many other characters! I totally get why someone would not be able to look past canon's writing since it's not like the flaws are minor. I have the same problem with both Lila and Nathalie.

I just cannot stand Nathalie even though I know that she's as much of a victim as Marinette and all the other characters. None of Nathalie's flaws are her fault because she doesn't exist. It's just that Nathalie's bad writing hits me in a way that makes me despise her while Marinette's hits in a "protect and defend" way. There's no wider logic here. It's just a matter of what characters I connected with enough to look past the bad writing. The type of fanfics I read probably also helped...

My only real piece of advice on this topic is to watch your mental health and take a Miraculous break or even leave the fandom all together if you notice that your Marinette hate (or hate of anything in canon) is really messing with you. I've mentioned before that I'm debating about watching season six and a big reason why is that I don't know if it's going to be good for my mental health. Lila's writing has consistently got on my nerves, but she was a minor enough character that I was still having a good time. Given that Lila is our new big bad with the added bonus of how shitty season five was and the show may have hit a point where it's just not fun for me anymore.

Previously, I had issues with the overall writing, but genuinely enjoyed watching the show as the writers are pretty good at short form story telling, so canon was a nice mix of genuinely enjoyable moments and writing issues that were fun to talk about. That was not true for season five and I just can't picture how it will be true for season six. The only reason I'm even considering it is because I watch the show with my SO and he has a lot of fun listening to me rant about bad media, so I may still have a good time with season six. It would not be the first time that I suffered through a piece of bad media for the sake of a loved one who really wanted someone to rant about it with.

I'm not the kind of person who will tell people they're not welcome in a fandom unless they like X. That sort of gate keeping is ugly and often straight up bullying, so don't read this as me saying that you have to like Marinette to enjoy the show or that you need to disengage if you don't like X% of canon. As long as you're having fun and not forcing your dislike on others by sending clearly unwelcome asks or engaging with sugar posts in an antagonistic way or anything like that, then I'm going to defend your right to be in fandom even if we personally aren't going to get along and need to stay in our separate fandom bubbles.* All I'm saying is that it's important to know when to disengage from a piece of media. To keep track of when something starts consistently bringing you more sorrow than joy. When that line is crossed? It's time to move on.

The sad fact is that, while you may utterly adore a piece of media, you have no control of what that media will do, so you need to be very careful about trusting your mental health to total strangers. It's part of why I tend to be so critical of media. Analysis and plot pitches like I do on this blog are genuinely fun for me, but they're also a much healthier way to engage with a story than just trusting it to be good and getting burned when it isn't. There's a reason I avoid theory crafting. I've gotten really into that in the past and wound up hurt because I put way too much faith in strangers who ended up sucking at their job.

*Btw, the line about separate fandom bubbles was not aimed at you. It's just a general statement about how fandom works. All are welcome, but all do not need to directly interact. Curating your fandom experience is important self care. Blocking someone isn't some sort of value judgement. It's just sometimes a thing you need to do in order to keep from seething when you accidentally see their asinine hot takes.

[lacyscabinet]

fic rec where reader gets injured during the plane crash and nat gets all freaked out and has to take care of them <3

A/N: THIS IS SO CUTE, ENJOYYYY

MASTERLIST

Amidst the chaos

The deafening roar of the plane crash still echoed in your ears as you found yourself crumpled on the forest floor. The initial shock gave way to a sharp pain in your side, and you clutched your ribs, wincing. The world seemed to spin around you, and panic set in as you struggled to catch your breath.

"Natalie!" you called out, your voice shaky. Through the haze of chaos, you saw her emerging, eyes wide with fear but determined. Without a moment's hesitation, she rushed over to you, scanning your form for injuries.

"Y/N! god are you okay?" Natalie's voice was a lifeline in the chaos, her hands gentle but urgent as she assessed the situation.

"I think... my side hurts, a lot..." you managed to say, breathless from the impact.

Natalie's expression tightened with worry. "Okay, we need to get you somewhere I can take a look at you...Can you walk?"

You nodded, and with her support, you stumbled away from the wreckage and a little deeper into the forest along with the others. Natalie guided you carefully, her eyes darting around for any signs of danger, then she lowered you gently to the ground, her eyes never leaving yours.

"I need to check your injuries," Natalie said, her hands moving swiftly but gently. The adrenaline was coursing through both of you, but her touch was surprisingly reassuring.

As she examined your side, the pain intensified, but Natalie remained focused. "You've got a bruise and a bad gash, but I don't think anything's broken. We need to find some supplies to clean and dress these wounds."

She looked around, her eyes scanning the surroundings. After a few moments, she located a first aid kit from the scattered debris, maybe for just once the odds were in your favour. Natalie cleaned your wounds with meticulous care, her movements deliberate yet tender.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her eyes filled with genuine concern. "I should have been there for you I should have protected you."

"It's not your fault," you reassured her, reaching out to touch her arm. "We're alive, and you're taking care of me. That's all that matters."

Natalie nodded, a mix of relief and gratitude in her eyes. As she continued to tend to your injuries, she started talking, her voice a soothing presence.

The forest, despite its chaotic state, seemed to cocoon the two of you in a bubble of shared vulnerability. The pain in your side became a distant sensation as Natalie's comforting words and touch took center stage.

"I'm glad you're here," she admitted, a soft smile playing on her lips. "I don't know what I would have done if..."

"Don't think about that," you interrupted gently. "We're here, and we're going to get through this together."

She simply smiled up at you and hugged you carefully, not to hurt you any further, slowly rubbing your back and trying to provide comfort and you found solace in the fact that you weren't alone. Natalie had been your anchor in the storm, and as you faced the uncertain future together in the unknown of the wilderness, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the connection that had blossomed amidst the chaos.

A/N: i don't know if you noticed but i tried switching my writing style a tiny tiny bit as an experiment! Hope you enjoyed!!!!

[edgessunflower]

May I please request headcanons for Shang, Mulan, Tadashi, and Tiana reacting to their S/O (who's a firefighter) noticing a gas/methane leak and saving lives in the process?

Of course!

Tadashi

He was walking out with Cass and Hiro after having lunch when he looked over and saw you and your crew walking up to an officer

He walked over to see if he could help in some way despite being a civilian and knowing few medical issues

But he jumped in and helped comforting people and helping others to the ambulance when they could walk unless they were in a lot of pain

He heard you talking nearby and stopped when gas was mentioned looking at you and your captain right before you realized it was a methane leak

You ran in to grab a member of a crew as everyone backed up and ran away watching as the building exploded running out with your friend on your shoulders right before the rest of the building exploded

He felt his heart as Cass started crying and Hiro yelled for you as he saw you running and hugging you with tears in his eyes

After making sure your friend was okay you went home with Tadashi and hugged him tightly when you saw him crying telling him you were okay and that he didn't need to be afraid or cry which broke your heart

Mulan

She had come to have lunch with you since you would be off after the call but she felt something in her heart that something wasn't right

She parks and waist watching you help people until you stopped making her get out and jog to your crew as you tried to find your friend Natalie and crew member

She noticed yelling and saw you run in going after you but being grabbed by your crew leader and friend Andrew and pulled back as half the building exploded

She watched terrified and helpless crying as you ran out with nat on your shoulders as the last part of the building exploded behind you thankfully no one was hurt

She is shielded running when she sees you on the ground but is relieved that you're not hurt but terrified of the fear and terror on your face that she will never get out of her mind

As soon as your friend was in the ambulance she ran up and hugged you with tears streaming down her face as she tells you never to scare her like that ever again

You go home giving her a long sweet kiss spending the rest of the evening apologizing until she stopped you with a kiss telling you that it wasn't your fault but she thought she lost you

Shang

He went to meet up with you and his friends to have dinner at your shared place meeting nearby where you and your crew were taking the last call of your shift

He felt a feeling in his gut deciding to go and watch your call seeing Mulan, Yao, Chien-po, and Ling watching on the other side ready to jump in like he was

He saw you freeze and the look of realization and horror cross your face before you ran in the building running down right when mulan heard your captain say it was a methane leak and soon he and his friends helping the injured and warned people to get away

He felt his whole heart drop and his breath stop watching the building explode hearing yao yell out looking to where his friends were looking to see you and a member of your crew on your shoulders

He watches as people help get your crew member in the ambulance and check on you as you sit down hearing your friends yell and hug you before the next thing you knew you were lifted and all you could see was the grey shirt shang was wearing

He held you for awhile both of you going home and after awhile he hugged you again crying telling you he thought he was going to see you dead or plan a funeral without your body

You hugged him back promising him that you would never leave him and that he did have to worry about losing you sealing the deal with a kiss before you both went to bed

Tiana

She was going to get things to make dinner for the two of you and your parents that night noticing your truck and number across the street as she was walking in

She waved at your friend and crew member Jesse walking in and getting everything she needed going over to see you before she left and waited for you at home

She noticed you run in and people running away and yelling immediately feeling everything stop yelling at you as you go in as jesse grabs her and pulls her away from the building

He tells her that your friend and other crew mate Pam was in the building and hadn't come back out after going to do one last sweep for survivors and you realized

The building exploded making her scream in agony crying on the ground not seeing you run out with pam on your shoulders as the rest of the crew put pam in an ambulance while you saw tiana on the ground

"Baby are you okay?!" she looks up crying more hugging you as you took the groceries to the car and you went home as she said how terrified she was of the thought of losing you

You hold her telling your parents what happened rescheduling dinner as you both calmed down from the explosion just holding each other tightly saying I love you and kissing each other's foreheads as you watched tv

[loserlesbianlottie]

hey rosie!!! i was wondering if you could write some fluff cuddling with travnat and they’re just liek… “fighting” for reader’s attention? thank you and i admire your work too much! keep going <3

hey luiza!! of course, and thank you sm for your kind words ^^ if you end up not liking this lmk and i’ll write a new version!!

Cuddlebug

travis martinez x reader x natalie scatorccio, fluff and general silliness, i gave the teddybear the most stupid name possible im so sorry, established relationship, probably modern au?

You’ve been exhausted lately. Between studying for midterms and trying to keep up with your extracurriculars, you have a lot on your plate, so you’re super excited to hang out with your boyfriend and girlfriend. Being around them always rejuvenates you, filling you with happy energy and a warm, content heart. You’re roused from your sappy thoughts when you hear a small whisper argument. Calling it an argument is quite generous; you’re not sure what to call it other than plain stupid.

“Travis, stop hogging them,” Nat exclaims, trying (and failing) to keep her voice to a whisper.

“How the hell do you ‘hog’ a person?” Travis asks, voice similarly low.

“I don’t know,” Nat counters, “Tell me how you’re doing it.”

“Oh, haha,” Travis sarcastically says, although you’re sure that it's accompanied by his stupid smirk, the one that makes both yours and Nat’s hearts flutter. Nat must punch him in the shoulder playfully if his annoyed “Ow!” is anything to go by.

“Children,” you mumble, stifling a yawn, “Please stop fighting.”

They both pause, although you can tell they're laughing by how their chests rise and fall against your front and back. A dopey smile makes its way onto your face, and you snuggle further into whoever is holding you at the moment.

“See?” Travis asks, “They like being held by me. It's not my fault!”

Your eyes fluttered open with an annoyed grimace, and you untangled yourself from Travis' embrace, shifting into Nat's arms.

“Wha-!”

“No one likes a sore winner, Travis,” you mutter, rubbing blearily at your eyes.

“Ha! Take that, Martinez!”

You stare at Nat, completely deadpan, as you push yourself out of her arms and gently cuddle your childhood teddy bear very close. You make a show of sighing happily in the arms of someone who isn’t boasting. They both gasp in mock offense.

"Natalie," Travis says with a fake stony look on his face, his eyes narrowing in disbelief.

"Travis," Nat replies, a look of horror painting her features as she shakes her head in disbelief.

"We just lost to a stuffed animal," Travis mutters, his voice tinged with frustration and amusement.

"That we did... that we did," Nat responds, a wry smile playing at the corner of her lips as she tries to hide her subtle laughter.

You laugh silently while they mutter unhappily, cheeks flushed and face sore from smiling. They both pout, whining about how they’ve lost their partner to another man, which makes you laugh harder. They’re both chuckling, too, with silly smiles on their faces. You feel the urge to kiss them both senseless, but it’ll have to wait. You have a point to prove, after all.

“What can I say?” You ask with a smirk, “He has been in my life longer than both of you...”

Nat snorts at this while Travis throws his hand over his heart as if it’s just shattered.

“You know, Trav, I didn't take Mr. Snugglesworth to be such a homewrecker.”

“Me neither,” Travis agrees. “I fear there’s only one way to get our partner back…”

Nat nods sagely at this while you laugh airily. Honestly, you have no idea what they're about to do, but you know it'll be enjoyable, whatever it is. They take your moment of weakness as an opening, descending upon you and kissing all over your face, your neck, your shoulders…anywhere their lips can reach, really. Your smile grows wider with each kiss.

“Are we forgiven?” Travis asks with his best puppy-dog-eyes. Nat follows suit, giving you her best wounded-kitten look.

“I suppose,” you trail off and place Mr. Snugglesworth on the ground. “Sorry, buddy. I’ll hug you later.”

You catch Travis glaring at the bear and Nat mimicking a neck-slitting motion at it, which only makes you laugh more.

[victoria-writes]

Love Diagnosis

Pairing: Adrian Monk x Reader

Summary: Monk has a crush on his new assistant (reader) and talks to his therapist about it

Word Count: 1,544

Notes: She/Her pronouns are used for the reader. Trudy Monk, Leland Stottlemeyer, and Natalie Teeger are mentioned but don't make an appearance. Entire fic is just dialogue between Adrian and Dr. Kroger. Mentioned age gap between Monk and the reader.

Read it on AO3 here

Story:

“You don’t understand, doctor. This isn’t some cute crush. I can’t get her out of my head!”, Monk said frantically from the chair he sat in across from his therapist.

“Adrian”, Dr. Kroger began while taking off his glasses and sitting forward in his chair, “it’s perfectly normal to look forward to seeing someone you like. It seems that you and Y/N have developed a special relationship and it’s only natural for you to think of her. If anything, this is great progress. It means you’re moving on after losing Trudy”.

“No, no, no, no”, said Adrian as he waved his hands about, “I am not moving on from Trudy. She is my wife. Y/N is a parasite who has infected my brain. She’s probably an alien. That’s the only explanation. A very pretty alien, but an alien”.

Dr. Kroger smiled, “Y/N is not an alien. It’s okay to be scared. You and Trudy were together for a long time and you were both very devoted to each other”.

“I can’t be scared because I’m not moving on. How can I be scared to do something I’m not doing?”

“Adrian-“

“It’s like she’s taken me hostage in my own mind. Everywhere I look, she’s all I think about. I walked into a CVS with Natalie today to get more wipes and I saw the shampoo section. Why was my first thought ‘What kind of shampoo does Y/N use? She always smells so nice.’?” 

Dr. Kroger sets his glasses on the table next to him, “I’m going to suggest something that may sound a little crazy to you. Have you considered telling her how you feel?”

“…Dr. Kroger”, Monk scoffed, “Are you sure we’re sitting in the right seats? Because where I’m sitting it seems that you may be the one that needs help if you think that is a reasonable solution.”

“So I’m going to take that as a no.”

“Of course, I haven’t talked to her about it!”

“And why is that?”

“….well…”

“Well?”

“…” 

“You’re frightened she may not feel the same way as you do.”

“…yes”

“And if she does feel the same way, you don’t want to know because then you’d have to accept the fact that you’re in love with a woman after Trudy’s passing.”

“yes”, Monk grumbled while looking at the floor with sudden interest.

“So you think it’s better to bury your feelings deep inside and only let them out during our sessions”

“Now you’re getting it. I’m so glad we could come to an understanding”, Monk smiled and sat back in his chair, relieved. 

“Adrian, these feelings aren’t just going to disappear overnight because you don’t want to face them. You see her almost every day now.”

“This is all Natalie’s fault.”, Adrian furrowed his brows as he spoke, “I wouldn’t have had to hire another assistant if she didn’t need so many days off.”

“Natalie needed the time off to take care of her daughter as a single mother. It’s a miracle she was able to balance work and her child for as long as she did.”

“Yeah, well, she should’ve balanced for longer so I wouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“Tell me, what is it that you like about Y/N?”

“She smells nice.”

“You mentioned that already”

“She’s a good assistant. She’s very clean and doesn’t touch me without asking. I like her hairstyle too, not just the shampoo. Her nails are neat and manicured, so I don’t feel disgusted by the thought of her touching me.”

“Anything else?”

“When she does touch me…her hands are soft.”

Dr. Kroger looked at Adrian with raised eyebrows and interest written across his face.

“Y/N, she has a certain way of talking. She emphasizes certain words in her sentences and talks with her hands.” 

At this point, Adrian is staring up at the ceiling and smiling fondly as he pictures Y/N in his mind, “She gets so animated when she’s passionate. And she has so many strong opinions on things. Things I never even give a second thought to. Just the other day, she went on a very passionate rant about what kind of handle she prefers on umbrellas.”

“I would’ve thought you’d have an opinion on that sort of thing.” 

“Oh, I do now that I’ve thought about it. I much prefer the curved handles to the straights ones, even if they have grooves for the fingers to sit”, he scoffs and shakes his head, “the fingers are never as comfortable on those as they are on the curved handles and-“

“I think we’re getting off track here. Is there anything you dislike about her?”

“Oh, yes”, Adrian quickly nodded, “She’s a horrible driver and always parks crooked. She’s lucky she has me or she’d anger a lot of other drivers with her parking.”

“Uh-huh.”

“She chews on her mints and I can’t stand the sound. What psychopath chews on those? You’re supposed to let them sit in your mouth.”

“I see.”

“She stands too close to me wherever we go. Like I said she doesn’t touch me without asking but she’s always so close.”

“And that bothers you?”

“Yes, my heart starts to beat very fast and I can’t breathe sometimes. Once I thought I was having a heart attack but she told me I was just having a panic attack and made me do breathing exercises with her.”

“Did they help?”

“Yes, but only for a little bit because she kept standing close to me after that. She was worried I would faint so she stood even closer.”

“And?”

“I’ve never had clammier hands in my life.”

“Did you have these symptoms when you first started to see Trudy?”

“I…I don’t remember. It was all so long ago. Let’s not talk about that.”

“I apologize if I made you uncomfortable. Let’s move on from that.”

“Okay.”

“…”

“I had eggs for breakfast this morning but the yolk was a little too runny. That made my skin itch.”

“Let’s not talk about eggs.”

“Okay.”

“If you and Y/N were to enter a romantic relationship-“

“That would never happen.”

“Humor me for a second. If you and Y/N entered a romantic relationship, what do you think it would be like? Truly imagine it for me. What would dating Y/N look like?”

“I…I don’t know. I’m not dating her so how would I know?”

“Just try and imagine it.”

“Okay.”, Adrian sighed quietly as he closed his eyes, “Okay. I’m imagining.”

“Go on.”

“We’d have to spend a lot of time together. That’s what couples do.”

“What would that time spent together look like?”

“I suppose we would hang out at my house. Go to different places around town. Maybe to that coffee shop she likes.”

“Which shop is that?”

“The one on third avenue with the blue walls.”

Adrian’s eyes were still closed but he could hear the smile in Dr. Kroger’s voice, “You remember the kind of things she’s passionate about, little details about her, and even what coffee shop she likes.”

“I’m a detective. It’s my job to remember things about people.”

“Do you know how she takes her coffee?”

“Of course.”

“Do you know how Natalie takes her coffee?”

“No”

“Do you know how Captain Stottlemeyer takes his coffee?”

“No”

“Interesting. Have you ever thought about kissing Y/N?”

Adrian opened his eyes, “I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“I find it very relevant. Have you thought about kissing her?”

Adrian took a long pause before answering, “Yes. Once she stood very close to me, she stands much too close to me, and I…”

“You…?”

“I was looking at her lips and I started to lean in but I pulled away.”

“Did she know you wanted to kiss her?”

“I don’t think so. When she asked why I was staring I lied and told her she had dry lips and needed to put on chapstick. It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Her lips looked very”, he pauses looking for the right word in his mind “soft.”

“Has she ever indicated any interest in you in a romantic sense?”

“I don’t think so.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”, Dr. Kroger sighs, “Adrian, there is only one solution to this dilemma and that is to speak to her about it.”

“That would be highly inappropriate. I’m her employer and several years older than her.”

“While that is true, she has the right to know about this. She spends nearly every day with you.”

“What if she quits? Then, I’d have to find another assistant and I don’t want her to go.”

“That is a risk you’ll just have to take. It is much more likely that she will either tell you she doesn’t feel the same way or that she does. She’s your assistant but she’s your friend too. I’m sure she’d understand.”

“But what if she doesn’t?”

“But what is she does?”

Monk sat in silence with no rebuttal prepared. What could he possibly say to that?

“We’re nearing the end of our time together, Adrian. Next time you see Y/N, politely tell her how you’ve been feeling about her.” 

“...”

“Adrian, tell her.”

“Yes, Dr. Kroger.”

“I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton is interviewed after the race, mexico - october 27, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Natalie Pinkham: "Hi, Lewis. P4 looks like a good return for a lot of hard work this weekend, but I understand, your team radio comments… The floor just isn't doing what you guys had maybe hoped it would do and you want to have a proper look at it?" Lewis: "Yeah, well firstly, really good to get fourth and fifth. I'm happy that I was able to move forwards, and also just have a better weekend than the last and see through all the way to the end of the race and get those points. So I'm really grateful for that and happy with the performance. In general I got a good start and then I had a lot of understeer, 'cause I… My fault, but I took too much front wing out of the car and I knocked out the front tires, basically, in that stint. And after the changes, after the pit stop, much, much better. But it was a really, really insightful and informative race, because I could feel exactly where the car was working and where it was not; very, very clear in my mind where the car is giving up. And I could see the difference between George and I, also, when I'm behind, so it'll be interesting to see… They have, now, all this information from both our cars running. So good points, good data for both of us, and hopefully put us in a better position for the next race." Pinkham: "That sounds promising. If you can see where those are, the team then can see where those are. How quickly are those sorts of adjustments going to be made, do you think, and brought to the car?" Lewis: "I mean, not before next week, I don't think, but whether or not I start on the old floor or… That's a decision we'll have to make. But I think just to put that back in the development portal, the guys keep on moving more of a direction of where they need to go next."