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primrose-path-of-dalliance · 4 years ago

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jester began falling in love with caleb in episode 103.

not any earlier in my opinion, and not later, either.

there's two elements to why i believe e103 is the turning point.

(1) the first is caleb's actions and jester's responses to them during the night they all sleep by the waterfall—his support of her idea to sleep underwater, his conversation with her after her commune with artagan, and his casting of programmed illusion in the dome.

(2) the second is the way her behavior toward caleb pivots around e103. before e103 is a noticeably different beast to how she begins to treat him after e103—the attention she pays him, her efforts to hold more standout interactions with him, and a dramatic swell of emotion and thematic meaning in these scenes’ respective subtext.

the rumblecusp arc is the point in which jester’s character growth, and caleb’s efforts to unconditionally support her, really begin to shine. throughout the complex growing pains that jester and artagan's relationship was experiencing, the one person who truly takes a moment to offer her support without any agenda or judgment is caleb.

(e103, 1:22:55, bold mine)

CALEB: You okay over there?

JESTER: (tearful) Yeah, I'm fine. Just—I'm just drawing.

CALEB: Maybe didn't go as well as you were hoping?

JESTER: Um... In some ways it went better. But no.

CALEB: I can't speak for him. But you do have us.

JESTER: I know.

CALEB: So whatever you land on, Jester, we'll make it happen.

JESTER: (shaky laugh) I have to figure out what I want to land on.

CALEB: That is the, uh—sticky wicket, isn't it?

JESTER: Yeah. Everything's confusing.

CALEB: Maybe... Maybe we sleep on it, it'll make more sense in the morning.

JESTER: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you, Caleb.

CALEB: I didn't do anything.

jester confesses that her commune with artagan didn’t provide the answers she was hoping for—that he knew about the curse on the island—and caleb doesn’t remark on what that seems like. he deliberately avoids speculating on why artagan is doing these things because “he can’t speak for him.” he doesn’t assume anything about what she might choose to do and explicitly leaves that choice up to her. jester vents briefly about how difficult the choice is, and caleb offers her reassurance, a reminder that some time will make things clearer. he doesn’t suggest solutions.

unlike fjord or beau, caleb doesn’t ask her to voice outright whether artagan is being a good friend. he doesn’t continually question his character and imply any personal opinions to her or what he thinks she should do. instead, he asks whether she’s okay. he listens. and he offers unconditional support.

this is consistently the stance caleb takes in the rumblecusp arc. and it’s not discussed much, i think, exactly how monumental that was to jester.

(hold on, this is a long one.)

jester is a young woman who grew up sheltered and wants to define herself outside of that shelter. for her, this campaign has essentially been a coming-of-age journey (talks for e76-77, 14:12). she is deeply sensitive to whether or not she’s respected because she’s aware of how her personality and general lack of experience makes others think she’s naive, immature, or incapable (talks for e79, 31:51).

it’s also incredibly evident that her relationship with artagan is unique. in e105 (1:15:01), jester tells the m9, “he really got me through a lot when i was younger, you know? and he was all i had, really.” he was her best friend from childhood in a home where she spent most of her time hidden in a single room. when she was younger, the few times she left the chateau, she was bullied by other girls (e110, 3:34:59). her best friend, though? her best friend was a god. a god with an incredible sense of humor, an aggrandizing attitude, and adoring respect for a young girl in a difficult situation who had as wonderful a personality as him. in every way that matters, artagan’s friendship undoubtedly saved jester’s life.

and she is so, so aware of this. she cares for him deeply, trusts him unconditionally, and is determined to be there for the one person who had been there for her when no one else was, not even her mother.

the renegotiation of this friendship after artagan revealed his full identity was clearly extraordinarily difficult for jester. she was having to reevaluate her entire relationship with the being that pulled her through a childhood of isolation and misery, question his intentions with her and whether they could even remain friends at all. and this was amidst her arrival at a dangerous island with her other friends to help him clean up his mistakes.

asking her to make a judgment on artagan before she’s ready to do it on her own, while managing some high expectations at the same time—not only is it a lot of pressure, it’s frustrating and painful. jester did not want to judge artagan without giving him his fair due and a proper conversation. knowing that her new friends dislike her old friend, besides being hurt by it, distracted her. she had to both defend him outwardly and interrogate him internally. and if she tried to explain how important artagan is to her, a lot of vulnerability would’ve been necessary when she was trying to be a leader and seem competent and capable, instead of a child who needs patronizing guidance.

this latter point is exceptional. because jester lavorre is so vulnerable when it comes to how much she thinks her loved ones respect her and consider her a valuable, equal, and trustworthy individual. and it’s difficult to feel like you’re being valued and trusted when people are repeatedly questioning you about a person and a relationship that they don’t understand in a way that, despite genuine concern, comes across as them doubting your own judgment of one of the most intimate parts of your life.

in this precise moment in e103, caleb is the only person who acknowledges��to her in person, even—that he doesn't have any place in judging her relationship with artagan. that it’s not what she needs from him or anyone else. that he’s content waiting for her to reach a decision. that he will respect that decision.

and jester can believe him. caleb’s done nothing but remain consistent on this stance. he repeatedly supports her choices to run travelercon, trust artagan, and come to his aid.

when other party members question artagan's legitimacy, caleb is the one who almost always speaks up to support jester (some examples: e61, 30:43 / e77, 49:17 / e95, 1:09:17 and 1:15:24).

he actively and enthusiastically offers his magical talents to her to provide for the event preparations. he has a whole conversation with her in e91 (beginning 1:53:41) where he expresses his immense respect for her and her personality, explicitly validates her faith in artagan, and shows her a tangible example of how he wants to help her during the upcoming travelercon. when she suggests some ideas, despite their arguable silliness, caleb takes them at face value and openly admits his lack of expertise in this area (e91, 1:58:35).

when they first arrive at rumblecusp, he directly reassures jester about the ‘travelercon 3000’ banner she leaves on the wrong beach by mentioning that he can make her a new banner (e101, 48:18). once preparations begin in earnest, caleb expends spells very freely, including ones of higher-level, to produce whatever jester requests.

in e103, he hears out her idea of sleeping underwater and gives it equal consideration in spite of other party members trying to shoot it down. the first time she suggests it (36:23), caduceus comments against it and no other party member acknowledges her except for caleb, who agrees with her quietly while the others move on. the second time jester suggests it (46:08), veth comments against it and caleb steps in to openly agree that it’s a good idea, even after fjord and beau join veth in being dubious.

compare these active, consistent moments of support and validation from caleb to similarly active and consistent examples of the other attitudes that manifest during the rumblecusp arc, in contradiction to people’s apparent claims of trust (one such claim of trust: e95, 1:00:21).

plainly insulting artagan to jester as if it’s a given, such as fjord’s “he’s generally full of shit, right?” (e107, 49:42);

fjord, beau, and caduceus’s conversation about “not ruining jester’s big day,” yet distrusting artagan to the extent of planning to keep her from being alone with him, preparing to attack him should he try to sacrifice 200 people for some speculated unknown ritual and/or hurt jester, and discussing all of this behind jester’s back (e108, beginning 15:41);

caduceus’s said shift to distrust of artagan because of a semi-disturbing conversation that jester was equally a part of (e107, beginning 20:40);

and the discussion right before jester’s commune with artagan where beau questions if artagan sent them to rumblecusp knowing of the memory problems, without regard for their well-being (e103, 29:40).

the unfortunate assumption being made by these party members’ repeated questioning and protectiveness of jester is that she cannot be trusted to have good judgment. despite their familiarity with some of the context of her relationship with artagan (especially after e105), they disregard her repeatedly-expressed support of him. they indirectly disrespect her ability to judge for herself whether someone is dangerous to her or her friends. they don’t acknowledge jester’s own role in creating dubious situations and instead direct all their negative feelings and sense of fault to artagan, minimizing her agency.

the e108 conversation is a dense microcosm of how the party perpetrates these assumptions throughout the rumblecusp arc as a whole. without qualm, they discuss deliberately controlling jester’s time with artagan to ‘protect’ her and their willingness to kill the evil image they’ve constructed of him, and dodge jester directly asking them what they’re talking about—even though it is a known given that the m9 would defend her with their lives with or without any prior discussion. the purpose of holding this conversation isn’t to make sure that jester is safe. like caduceus near-explicitly says, it’s to “feel better knowing” that “anybody else was on board with this” (20:26 and 18:57)—to validate their unacknowledged distrust of jester’s judgment with each other, behind her back.

and as laura has said: jester, with her very high wisdom, tends to know what’s going on even if she acts like she doesn’t (talks for e79, 32:39).

in e103, when jester is crying because she’s found out that artagan did know about the island’s memory problems, caleb doesn’t show any sign of taking this as proof of artagan's ill intent. what he does instead: he offers compassion for her pain with zero judgment. he promises to support her, no matter what she ultimately decides to make of this information. these are offers of safety and trust, ones that jester desperately needed.

then—caleb creates a programmed illusion of the m9’s lives. and it’s beautiful.

in comparison to all the analysis prior, this moment is straightforward. jester is an artist. she paints, draws, and creates, and she loves doing it. moreover, she loves making art for other people. though she doesn’t get many chances to do so, the mural of a flowery meadow that she paints for yasha’s room in the xhorhaus is a perfect example. similarly, she enjoys the art she makes when defacing other people’s property—altered signage or statue of the platinum dragon painted in rainbow—in part because they’re gifts to the traveler. she loves making those she loves happy.

happiness and love to jester is overwhelmingly about emotional intimacy. i’ve talked about this to some degree in a previous post about jester’s jealousy. please refer there for in-depth explanation. in brief, though, she puts value on how deeply she knows a person; how often she’s been able to be there for them. this is the love she learned from her mother and from artagan, and how she continues to love once she’s older.

caleb’s arcane rendition of the m9′s lives floating around the inside of the dome is a display of exactly this kind of love. not only is it art crafted from his magic and imagination and love—it’s blatant evidence of how much he cares for every member of the party and where they’ve come from. he remembers their stories and hangs them in the air in hopes that it’ll help them resist the memory erasing. he moves the memory of yasha and zuala in a meadow over to yasha’s pillow-side so she can watch it until she falls asleep. he creates a memory for vilya of her, her husband, and her daughter, listening to and respecting the emotional gravity of what she’s confiding in them.

only a few minutes after jester’s disappointing commune with artagan and her conversation with caleb, she walks into the dome and sees this art. she laughs and stares in wonder at all the memories (e103, 1:46:08). when beau points out the humorous memories of fjord being attacked by turtles so they can all laugh, she tells caleb with equal awe and joy, “wow. this is amazing, caleb” (e103, 1:47:04).

...of course, as lovely and meaningful as these back-to-back moments were for jester, it's not quite evidence of her starting to fall in love with caleb around this time.

that’s where the following episodes come in.

[id: three screenshots of messages sent in a discord channel by the user “prim” (the op). all are timestamped to friday, august 28, 2020, the day after the live premiere of e107. the first has an additional timestamp of 12:53 PM, the second 1:03 PM, and the third 1:30 PM. they read:

honest to god though i don't know if it's just the shipper brain that is making me think laura is trying to roleplay jester beginning to reciprocate caleb's feelings [...]

like........ the golden dick hunt teasing is definitely on par with jester's past shenanigans, but the compliments have been Catching My Attention bc it's honestly not normal for jester to compliment caleb of her own volition like that, just as a one-on-one "i appreciate you" reassurance

and i'm thinking less about the spells from last night's episode (although how much jester was emphasizing the compliments made me go "awwwww") and more of the moments like jester telling caleb "that was impressive" after getting cad out of the tunnel with beau's help

but laura is absolutely a shipping troll with jester this campaign so i'm here like "I'M MAYBE 80% SURE I'M BEING FUCKED WITH BUT IT MAYBE HOLDS UP????" [...]

basically laura keeps doing things that make the alarm in my brain go off and i don't know if i'm picking up something legit or if i'm projecting my hopes, like the recent pattern of compliments from jester LOL

/end id.]

i’m not going to lie, if i try to list every single receipt like i otherwise prefer to do in these metas, i think we (and especially i) would all lose our minds. so while i’m about to provide a lot of citations, they genuinely are just a few possible examples that will mostly be within the dozen episodes after e103.

the more important detail that can be observed from this is that e103 is a turning point.

prior to e103, jester does not particularly go out of her way to interact with caleb. by and large, most of their direct interactions are either initiated by caleb or prompted by the context of a general party conversation. the majority of other moments that could be referred to as ‘widojest’ are of caleb’s evident feelings. beyond early campaign days, jester rarely teases caleb about sexual topics while insinuating things about her own sexual life at the same time.

after e103, laura and jester begin to go out of their way to interact with and intertwine jester’s time with caleb.

the rate of jester’s compliments and enthusiastic gratitude to caleb skyrocket (some examples: e104, 30:36 / e107, 16:49 and 1:11:28 and 1:12:15 and 3:10:39 / e110, 15:58 and 3:37:24 / e111, 36:15 and 38:41 and 50:58);

several mature jokes/flirtations she makes involve both caleb and herself (examples: e107, 1:16:17 / e110, 1:18:07 / e115, 1:52:53);

she deliberately and specifically engages caleb in full-blown interactions, such as the conversations during the tour of her childhood bedroom (e110, beginning 1:11:38), hanging out with him on the icebreaker ship (e112, beginning 3:45:29), and the reading of der katzenprinz (e115, beginning 1:52:43);

as well as the expansion of more extended ‘conversations’ like their motif of dancing (e108, 13:39 / e109, 2:54:14), their parental relationships (e110, 20:44 and 3:38:41 / e115′s der katzenprinz / e121, beginning 1:52:12), and polymorph shenanigans (examples: e107, beginning 2:58:41 / e117, beginning 1:13:55 / e118, 43:57).

thrown in are additional background details that further tie jester to caleb, such as her determination to recover caleb’s amulet after their defeat of vokodo (e106, 25:33), the knowing comments on his purchasing of paper (e109, 22:32 / e111, 1:25:49), her deliberate choice to ride whaleb during the avantika chase (e113, 2:32:28), her retrieval of caleb’s coat when he’s attempting to remove the necromantic emerald (e115, 1:30:56), and her deliberate reference to der katzenprinz to iver (e120, 3:05:14);

and simply everything about the tower. it’s another example of the art and creativity caleb produces with his magic to make his loved ones happy, which jester acknowledges at least twice (refer to the e111 compliments). contrarily, jester also makes note of the signs that this tower shows less love to caleb than she thinks he deserves, in keeping with her value of emotional intimacy (e115’s der katzenprinz / e122’s floor 8, room 1).

the reading of der katzenprinz in e115 is arguably the pinnacle of these examples. it’s intentionally initiated by jester. she both takes the step to visit caleb's room and indirectly requests him to read the story to her. laura’s implication that she remembered this subplot because of beau’s reading of a very romantic letter from yasha is particularly suggestive. the story itself incorporates many similar characters and themes that are present in jester’s backstory: the lonely, sheltered boy and his single working mom as jester and marion; the dubious cat prince who ultimately gives the boy freedom and confidence as artagan; and the deep love between the boy and his mother because of how they only have each other, which compels a powerful being to have compassion and thus set the boy free so that they can be together. very similar to both jester’s depth of relationship with her mother and her pleas on artagan’s behalf to the moonweaver’s celestial servant.

and the post-story conversation—caleb’s confiding of its importance to him because of his mother. jester’s open willingness to compare the cat prince to artagan, knowing that caleb respects their friendship and has treated artagan fairly. jester’s lingering, repeated looks toward caleb while smiling and holding her copy of der katzenprinz to her heart.

with all this dramatic expansion of the emotional and thematic intimacy between jester and caleb beginning to roll down the hill after e103—in brilliant contrast to their more muted, less reciprocal dynamic before this episode—e103 is more than likely the turning point of jester’s feelings. and based on the events and context, it was caused by the combined emotional appeal of caleb’s offer of unconditional support and his display of love for his family in the programmed illusion of memories.

#cr #critical role #cr meta #widojest #jester lavorre #caleb widogast #by popular demand #inb4 the wrap-up #prim post #prim says some things #readmore #long post

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morethanonepage · 4 years ago

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what would you say are the dynamics and themes that interest you most? Also frankly I'm surprised you read any star wars fic still, I agree on just wanting to read some good finnpoe but that has gotten increasingly futile.

i mean the thing i potentially like so much about finnpoe is that they BOTH have very specific, in some ways very different traumas (finn being a child soldier and growing up in such a highly regulated way where he had basically no bodily autonomy VS poe being mind-raped AND seeing his inability to stop it as having betrayed his own people AND seeing so many of his friends & comrades die in quick succession AND still recovering from the loss of his mother as a child and Muran when he was commanding Rapier Squadron) but they both have a tendency to compartmentalize that and continue to function on their own while being loyal (Finn’s devotion to Rey, which gets a lot of flack in fandom but like -- that’s one of the first people he’s been able to form a connection with!! AND I think he lowkey feels that it’s his fault Rey got dragged into -- everything, so he feels a great deal of responsibility for protecting her) and passionate about a cause (Poe basically killing himself to keep the Ideals Of The Republic Alive, be it through trying to hunt down the FO before he’s even part of the Resistance, to doing everything he can to keep the Resistance afloat once he is).

like they have those similarities -- a real sense of duty and responsibility toward their friends and those they’re fighting with -- but they have fundamental differences in approach that the movies did a shitty job of extrapolating on when it could’ve been such an interesting conflict: Poe is the idealist and thinks of duty to a higher ideal first and foremost (like Leia and his mother, tbh) whereas Finn is more of a pessimist and a cynic and believes protecting your friends and loved ones from the substantial evil is hard enough without setting up to FIGHT ALL OF THE BAD IN THE UNIVERSE like Poe wants/believes he has to do. and both of these things are based so much on their upbringings! Poe grew up with those ideals and freedoms and parents who fought, successfully, to protect them, and believes he owes it to them to live up to their example and protect them as well; Finn has SEEN the evil of the FO firsthand and seen everyone around him subsumed by it, believes it to be omnipotent bc for him and his squad mates it literally was. escaping all of that was an act of powerful resistance on its own!

idk i just think a lot of the fandom’s take on this is, if you focus on finn ~running away~ in canon or not wanting to join up with the Resistance just ‘cause it’s ~the right thing to do~ you’re feeding into this idea of black men being cowards and/or selfish when it’s like no! that’s the consequence of his trauma: he’s running away from an abuser who controlled every aspect of his life, who’s set up to hunt him down and destroy planets and take over the universe in a way that’ll mean he’s NEVER safe, and he knows every single person he grew up with and had some affection for are a part of it too, which on the one hand he might be reluctant to fight them, but on the other they 100% won’t be reluctant to fight him AND they know him well enough to know his weaknesses.

all of this is A LOT and it’s heavy and dark stuff, which i GET can be hard to work into like, light fluffy fic about finn finally being happy or learning what sex is or w/e, and not everything about fanfic has to be a ~deep exploration~ of character’s inner turmoil but like -- idk. there’s ways of dealing with these elements of finn’s backstory without making the whole thing drudging tragedy porn (which is ANOTHER fanfic trend i can’t stand -- neither Finn nor Poe are characters entirely without hope and fics that treat either of their tragedies [lbr it’s mostly poe’s that get dealt with] as the focus or main characteristic of either also bum me out) and I just really wish fandom had more interest in it.

Another factor that KILLS ME is how Poe has (justifiably) developed OBVIOUS distrust for the force and force users, and would have such a fundamentally hard time dealing with the fact that Finn is one. Canon didn’t even let Finn be explicitly force sensitive, and fandom is like YAY FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, NOW HE CAN USE THE FORCE TO BONE (POE), and any fic that does touch on it makes Poe out to be ~unreasonable for not trusting Finn, or having his distrust be a consequence of his PTSD alone, and a sign he has to deal with his shit VS a very real issue that Poe might genuinely not be able to get over: the force CAN be creepy and is too easy to abuse, and a lot of what Poe’s seen it used for WAS bad.

the other dimension of all this is, accidentally or not, these dynamics take on all sorts of real-world implications given both actor’s identities -- the explicit parallels between Finn’s upbringing and chattel slavery (taken from his family at an early age, losing all connection with his birthplace and culture, seen as useful but dispensable by an oppressive, mostly-white empire) & its legacy for Black Americans (that lack of connection with a historical homeland and the loss of a cultural connection that came from it) VS the first generation latinx immigrant narrative that Poe and his family embody (the sacrifice for and long separation from a child in the service of giving them a better life, the burden that child takes upon themselves to make that sacrifice worth it by excelling in certain spheres, the drive to be the VERY BEST representative of their new culture, the embrace of that culture’s ideals bc they don’t want to think their parents sacrificed everything for a lie [with the creeping knowledge and experience to know many of those ideals are flawed and not always lived up to]).

and the canon ignores that bc addressing it would require world building that couldn’t center/come back to the Skywalkers in some way (and the only family dynamics it’s interested in is DADDY ISSUES, fucking Free Fall), and fandom doesn’t care about it bc it’s mostly white girls who, AT BEST, decide to focus on the potential ~sexuality conflicts (coming out, family rejection, etc) when writing real world AUS, without dealing with the intersectionality of a black and a brown man, their respective cultural context, and the resultant conflicts those would create beyond, idk, “POCs are always homophobic so finn and/or poe’s parents kicked them out or w/e”. and like I really don’t WANT these people trying to grapple with the complexity of a queer, interracial relationship where neither participant is white (i’ve seen enough just watching them grapple with either character’s sexuality tbh).

but idk, that’s what’s interesting to me: finn and poe’s backgrounds and how those set up fundamental conflict points for both of them, both in canon (Poe’s devotion to the cause of liberty and democracy for the whole galaxy VS Finn’s duty to the people he loves over anything else) and in a real world au (Black people have a fundamentally different relationship to the American Ideal than Latinx immigrants do, for very good reasons). And I want those things to be significant elements of the characterization for both, but not the ONLY elements of characterization for both: stories should, in even some small way, be about what characters WANT (even if it is just “to fuck,” as it often is when I write [ok it’s usually “to love but be able to show it without saying it, hence the fucking”]) and so few fics, these days, give me any sense of what finn and poe want besides, vaguely “each other” (”because the author feels like they have to write them bc the actors are hot/for woke points”) and that is just -- boring to me.

also god i would just love to read some dialogue that isn’t just twitter/tumblr memes and/or mcu level mean quips. like, just in general.

#given my insanely high standards i think i should be rewarded for not shredding EVERY fic i read frankly #finnpoe #youandthemountains #longpost #rebloggable if you so choose lol

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ectora · 4 years ago

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Review episode 312

It’s weird because I enjoyed the episode but most of my comments are actually criticism so bare with me 😂

Overall it was a nice episode to watch. The acting was on point especially for Sarah and Poppy imo they carried this episode but also probably cause they’re the one with the most compelling stories on this one. The episode kinda felt like a filler but honestly that’s because the show is focusing too much on the allergy and we know that’s not gonna be fixed til the end so as long as they make that the main story of the sisters, most episodes are gonna feel like fillers when it comes to them. Macy and Maggie had their own little adventure with a ghost which was funny (again kudo to Sarah), Harry and Mel went on a quest for a soul tho we still have no clue what it actually meant and Abigael was going through her own little traumatic hell in the tomb (Poppy really has been particularly slaying this storyline acting wise ).

Screen time

Abigael: 6m11s

Macy: 17m24s

Mel: 11m15s

Maggie: 18m24s

Harry: 11m03s

What I liked

Maggie still got the internship and I’m glad back she deserved it. I really don’t dislike Antonio but I’m also glad they kinda made it clear she wasn’t interested and that she finally made progress with her feelings for Jordan.

Abigael. I liked it because it gave us more insight on Abigael’s past (tho I still think they should have given us this earlier). I always theorised that from her childhood, she was obviously scared from the fact her mom never really accepted her demon side which created her deep feeling of rejection and how she was never accepted and never belonged. But I also thought she had some kind of loving family. Like to me these two things were not necessarily contradictory. Well apparently not. Her mom straight out abused her during her childhood. Which definitely explain why she choose the demon side like that. Both her parents were terrible to them but as she said in the past, at least she can understand demon a little but. She can rationalise it base on their nature. When it came from her mom however, it came fully from a place of dislike which must have been very harmful on a child. So obviously when I say I like it I don’t mean I like what her mom did to her, but I really like the insight and explanation. And again, Poppy did an amazing job. She made Abigael feel so vulnerable and scared, and confirmed that, ultimately what Abigael always wanted was acceptance. Which she first needs to give to herself.

Marisol and Macy sharing a scene. I have my issues with how it went which I’ll come to later. But I’m glad it existed and Mads really showed great emotions.

That was a short list because if I did enjoy the episode and there was some highlights I’ll talk about later, I also can’t really pintpoint things I loved.

What I disliked

Harry’s story. I just really don’t like how they make it all about the relationship when it could be so much deeper than that. I also am not sure I like the length to which he’s ready to go for it. Like the entire soul donation is a bit weird to me.

Marisol and Macy. Listen that one made me angry. Maybe it wouldn’t have if Macy actually had other stuff going on than her relationship with Harry but with the way the show has been writing her mostly around her relationship with Harry, it really didn’t come across well to me. The fact we had for the first time a in present tense scene between Macy and Marisol and all they talked about a man has me fuming. Maybe if they had had a longer time to talk. But they had like two minutes and most of it was about men.

The sisters. I don’t like the fact Mel wasn’t there when they were going to connect with their mom. I feel like that should have been a story kept for all three of them. I’m also annoyed that they once again refused to give us some Mel and Macy. I would have liked to see them a bit. Once again that sisterly bond feels like it’s non existent.

Melby. I cannot believe anyone would actually look at them and think yes that’s good. The treatment is absolutely terrible. The buildup was bad - because it was supposed to last - and the fact it’s all off screen is absolutely terrible. Ruby has been in three episode this season. One of them she didn’t actually share a scene with Ruby. The second episode they were full of drama and jealousy and they were so easily breaking up. And suddenly we jump to the I love yous. And were supposed to find that cute ? Like what are we supposed to think they love about each other? The constant breaking ups ? Cause that’s the most consistent thing about them. It kinda feels cheap in the way it’s done ngl.

What doesn’t make sense

Why was Jordan in the description ? I feel they’re kinda trying to avoid putting Abi’s name in the summaries (or at least it feels like it) but like .... Jordan had not reason to even be talked about. He didn’t appear once. It should have been Abi’s name in there.

The pills falling from the pocket Like ... Harry you had literally one job. How exactly did they fall ??

Why did they seem lost until their realised Jordy was a descendant and they could use his soul. Did I miss something saying it needed to be a male descendant ? Cause like ... Gil (Jil ? Idk) was literally right there. (Nevermind apparently I missed them saying « male descendent » my bad dkdjd

How did abi know she was in the tomb. Like I know my girl is smart but like ... she has basically no contact with the sisters at this point so how on earth did she learn how the tomb works and what happens inside ??

Highlights

The hammer. Listen, don’t ask me why but this picture of abi has been sending me for weeks now and I’ve been wondering the context since I’ve seen it. Like it gives me the biggest dumb bitch energy ever. The fact that abi is a very smart person and just thought a hammer would get her out of the tomb just has me laughing like it’s just too funny to me 😭

“The British hot lady” Swan I understand You

The way Maggie calls for Abi and gets into her apartment. I don’t know why I just love it.

Macy trying to lie to Antonio. Macy’s face when she lies is always a delight.

No but do any of these older generations know what not having an affair even mean? But I mean like father like son I guess.

« Who footnotes a spell » Macy’s face was so funny 😭 she was so done with it.

Theories

Not gonna lie. I’m a bit scare about next episode. I think it might be really interesting but also I’m very scare of the execution especially when it comes to Abigael and Macy. I do believe Macy has valid to distrust Abigael. However the show has been terrible at portraying those. And ultimately, especially lately, the sisters and Abigael have barely crossed paths. They’re barely in each other’s lives. All the do is coexist in the same city and interact when demons are involved which isn’t really the case. So right now all abi is doing is keeping the demons in lines. So I’m scared that Macy’s rightful dislike and distrust is almost gonna come across as pettiness or jealousy. But I also think that there is a difference between not trusting Abigael and say she deserves to be in the tomb. Cause at the end of the day past episode 4 what has she really done so terrible that deserves eternal suffering/delusion or whatever the tomb actually does. She’s manipulative and self serving sure but she also helps more than anything. The sisters have actually nothing to win have having Abigael stuck in there. And more to lose.

One theory is that the perfecti are trying to isolate the sisters. Putting abi and Jordan in the tomb is separating them from their allies and helping Harry to lose his powers is taking their guidance/healer away from them.

Another is just that really just have a very strict black and white vision and Abigael being a demon and Jordan helping them makes them automatically in the black category. Which the title seems to be referring to so it’s probably this.

I think the upcoming episode might be a way to introduce the whole controversy around Macy’s demon powers. And slowly bringing up the story of Abigael giving them back to her.

I think it also might be a way to actually have the show approach the wrongs Abigael did in the show. But also the rights. After all, it seems like they’ll need to prove she doesn’t deserve to be in it. Which I personally don’t think she does. Though she definitely did wrong things in her life. So I think they might actually use this as an occasion to have the sisters talk about what she did do that was wrong. And hopefully also highlight that she did help them on multiple occasions.

With the “previously in charmed” it makes it feel like they’re still going with Maggie not knowing Jordan can actually touch her and this doesn’t stop confusing me. But I can see the show have them hug once he’s out of the tomb and then kinda admit their feelings finally and Jordan say something in the lines that he kept it from her because he didn’t want to put pressure on her or that him being able to touch her didn’t change the fact she wanted to focus on herself or something on those lines.

One thing I want to talk about is Abigael. Please don’t read this paragraph if you haven’t heard about the rumours going around. //// The fact is, there is a very strong change Poppy is leaving the show. And the way they made this episode made it very clear Abigael was abused as a child. But that she is also absolutely craving love and acceptance. And that she does love her mom and always wanted her love. I’m very scared that if they make Abigael leave (better than die) they’d make her go back to her sister and family and try to fix their relationship. Which would absolutely be terrible message to give as we literally know now that she was abused. And making a character go back to their abusers because of the trauma it caused (her fear of rejection and inability to actually accept herself) would just be disgusting. But I’m scared that’s the road they’re gonna take.

#charmed #charmed cw #charmed reboot #charmed 2018 #charmed review #abigael caine #mel vera #maggie vera #macy vaughn #harry greenwood #jordan chase

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kendrixtermina · 5 years ago

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Compare and Contrast: The ‘Rival’ Characters

In each house there’s like this one guy who doesn’t really get along with the House Leader

I swear this is the last rambly essay. Or... second to last.

Felix

Perhaps the most “typical” rival - The Blue Lions in general are designed around basic fantasy or anime archetypes with a twist here and there so its not too suprising that Felix starts off like a less chliched/ more reasonable variant of your basic anime rival.

He’s your basic ‘Arrogant Kung Fu Guy’, a loner, not very friendly, focussed on gaining strenght, used to be friends with the MC once, not a fan of “the power of friendship” but not immune to it either... though unlike most examples he’s not envious or obsessed with beating Dimitri nor actually particularly arrogant. When Leonie beats him with a trap in their support he’s like “Wow thanks, you made me aware of a potential weakness”

Like your classic anime rival he is the strongest of the Lions apart from Dimitri himself, but has a contrasting fighting style - Dimitri is big, tanky and has immense brute strenght, but is clumsy; Felix is lithe, agile and has a very skill-based fighting style. The second strongest deer or eagle would not be Lorenz and Ferdinand. It’s definitely Lysithea for the deer, and probably either Hubert or Petra for the eagles.

Also like your classic anime rival, he’s got a backstory that parallels the hero’s. He also lost a beloved relative in the tragedy of Duscur and also still feels a lot of attachment to people who are gone, but he deals with it very differently than Dimitri. Unlike most cases you can’t really say that one of them did ir ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ both have their dysfunctionalities resulting from the loss if anything Felix is more level-headed though his rejection of all attachment isn’t grounded in maturity either.

They managed to have the classic “ideals are BS, only strenght matters” line actually make sense in a non-voldemordy way for once if you consider the context where he grew up, he definitely has a point. Though he would protest the notion he actually has a moral code of his own (Dimitri clearly offends it - though mostly he’s really thrown of by/ doesn’t know what to make of the Dr. jekyll and Mr. hyde situation) he just wasn’t ever told that it “counts” as it’s not what passes for morals in Faerghus. He’s present and results oriented, rather than guiding principles or rules of thumb he likes to focus on wether it actually saves lifes. (”We’re protecting your subjects not your ego”)

Likewise it makes more sense for him to be the team contrarian when Dimitri actually does have no plan or regard for safety while he’s in Avenger Mode, but ultimately he very much wants Dimitri to succeed.

Another thing of note is that since Claude and Edelgard are revolutionaries, their rivals are the token traditionalists of their respective teams, whereas Dimitri is someone who wants to reinstate the order - He doesn’t like oppression any more than the others but he thinks the existing social institutions have their merit; As he sees it they’d work just fine if they were just carried out virtuously and as a service to the people, not selfishly abused. Hence his rival is one of the two more independent-minded Lions.

Lorenz

Of the three he’s probably the one who most dislikes their leader and who is most genuinely flawed at the start of the game.

With Ferdinand it’s not more than a passing first impression you quickly notice that while he may be naive about how he comes across he isn’t actually arrogant nor does he hate or have seditious intentions toward Edelgard, he’s actually a deeply good guy, a straightforward hero to contrast Edelgard as an anti-hero. He lived an easy live in a good environment which allowed him to develop his potential to the fullest whereas Edelgard was forced to resort to things she doesn’t like because of her harsh life and precarious situation. She just wants to live quietly in peace but had to to grand impactful actions because someone needs to fix the broken system and she happened to have power she never asked for, meanwhile Ferdinand really wants to be a politician and go down in history but is afraid that he’s not making enough of an impact. Felix is more complex, he truly IS mean and spiteful as a real character flaw (with Dedue and Dimitri he has arguably valid principle-based reason to dislike them; But with Sylvain and Ingrid he’s just being mean for meanness’ sake due to his own issues with attachment and says some genuinely awful things to them) but its the one sharp edge on an overall principled dude who actually does care for his comrades, Dimitri included, and he is not a bad person.

Lorenz meanwhile is certainly not what he seems either, he’s not just a superior twat and actually very dutiful, believes that the nobility should actually live up to their obligations and is sort of a cautious shrewd political mind, surely not half as naive as Ferdinand. At the same time he has real shortcomings, at the start of the game he’s somewhat immature and frivolous (very apparent in his pre-timeskip supports with Sylvain and Byleth), though his intentions are not per se impure (he really wants to marry and is actually picky and romantic), he just doesn’t get it in his head that those girls he’s hitting on find him annoying.

But eh, he was like 18 at the time. More damning is his callousness and lack of perspective. He doesn’t really look past his immediate surroundings and the self-interest of himself and his own, and at several times alledges that he wouldn’t have particularly minded if Claude wound up dead in a ditch. He doesn’t know him and genuinely doesn’t care about him, making cold, dissing comments all the time in early part 1.

Of course when you get more context and get further in both their support chain and the plotyou find that he actually has good reasons to distrust Claude, it’s not just snobbishness and prejudice he just really cares about the Alliance and doesn’t trust it to someone who just showed up out of nowhere under suspicious circumstances after the previous Duke had an ‘accident’ (which, ironically, was the work of Lorenz’ own father) - but that doesn’t change that he’s genuinely a little callous.

If you don’t spare Claude on the empire route Lorenz stands out as the only person who will diss him - everyone else, imperial leadership included, is either sad or gives him the worthy opponent treatment, even Hubert who’s not usually the sort to point out his enemies’ redeeming features. He will also diss him in the Kingdom route and express spite that he didn’t get to be Alliance leader.

Indeed while Ferdinand and Felix will wind up supporting Edelgard/ Dimitri if they’re not recruited, Lorenz always opposes Claude unless you’re on the GD route. Even some of the arrogance is real, see his A support with Byleth, he really thought that commoners were ultimately less consequential/influential even though, as he later admits, Byleth was right in front of him the whole time.

To some extent this might be due to his upbringing his father was very much a “Look out for Number one” sorta person who cares only for the wealth of his own territory the rest of the Alliance be damned. Compared to that starting point Lorenz is already a whole lot more considerate as he thinks that his father at least ought to consider the rest of the Alliance, and would certainly NOT stab a rival in the back or callously kill commoners as collateral damage, even at the start of the game.

I don’t wanna get too down on Lorenz tho, once you get to know him he’s adorable and sensitive (his caution comes from actually being somewhat afraid/anxious underneath) and as a friend he is very helpful generous and considerate. I love that support where he keeps offering Ignatz jobs, it’s probably his best moment. He got layers and ultimately ends up having a positive political legacy. And if you’re playing GD or CF he even gets more open-minded by the end.

He also makes for an excellent contrast to Claude - both are somewhat self-interested, opportunistic and distrustful, but Lorenz is cautious and conventional, whereas Claude is unconventional and a risk-taker. Ultimately what brings them together is appreciation for the other’s shrewdness and good intentions, they’re both natural politicians. They also both love poetry.

And Claude’s storyline is one of bringing different people together and convincing them to come to his side/ have them come around. He uses deception to accomplish it, yes, but ultimately he wants people to see his point - Even someone who is as different from him as Lorenz is. After all he wants to build a world where there’s a place for everyone. So when he finally wins over Lorenz halfway through part 2 it means a lot to him. Claude probably half doubts that it’s possible but he wants everyone to truly come around.

Whereas Edelgard would surely prefer convincing as well, but failing that she’d strongarm or eliminate someone like that. (Though it has to be said that she would do so because she cares deeply about the net result and one priviliged twat’s feelings, or even her own, are not more important that ending oppression asap IMHO Both have a point and both have their shortcomings.)

Another Detail is that while Ferdinand and Felix are each from the Second most Powerful house in their respective countries, the number two spot in the Alliance is probably held by the Gonerils; But the Alliance by nature is more flexible and there is more rising and falling in influence based on wealth merit and your ability to convince and rally the other nobles. Lorenz actually could take Claude’s job, and early on, actually wanted to, so he’s the closest to a real political rival - and Claude’s strenght is more in politics and planning than it is in punching so this is fitting.

The other two are more one-sided, as Dimitri flat out ignores any hostility coming from Felix and would really like to be friends again (also Felix wants Dimitri on the throne ‘cause he’s still vastly better than Chaos or Cornelia, he’d just like him to act reasonable and get his act together, and is ready to support him once he does) and Ferdinand, try as he might, is simply no match for Edelgard in any way as she is the single strongest individual among the younger characters, she’s evenly matched with Byleth in the Church Route reunion scene and ends up with the highest total stats out of all the playable characters.

Ferdinand

Though he’s introduced as always trying to one-up her, makes sure to tell you that he’s the one in charge when you first walk in (no doubt naively repeating something his father said), can end up being full-blown enemies with her in 3 out of 4 routes including the Church route, he doesn’t actually have any sort of personal beef with Edelgard and out of the three ‘rivals’ he probably has the least actual issues with/ dislike toward his respective house leader.

Even when they wind up as enemies he’s actually one of the characters who speaks of Edelgard in a respectful fashion after her death (in GD he mentions how she wanted the next ruler to be chosen based on merit and how she really believed it), and at one point offers Hubert to let the two of them flee right under the Church’s nose if you have them fight. (Especially notable since the Church route is probably the least sympathetic toward Edelgard)

He IS the one who gets the classic rival trait of being competitive, jealous and attention-seeking - I tend to hate these sorts of characters but that’s usually because they are petty, spiteful people who begrudge other’s happiness and are always putting others down so I expected to hate him but actually ended up loving him to no end because he isn’t like that at all. He’s deeply good and has a heart of pure gold. He never lashes out. If someone dislikes him, his reaction is usually to come up some grandiose elaborate gesture to prove his worth and make them like him (Mercedes, Bernie, Dorothea etc.)

Ferdinand was raised by an actual supervillain who clearly wanted to bring him up with an ellbow mentality but that clearly bounced off his inherent goodness like teflon. His sheltered luxurious upbringing might’ve left him a bit naive pre-timeskip in ways that make him come off a tad arrogant or annoying, but he doesn’t think he’s superior to anyone - indeed he works hard to be worthy of his inheritance and justify being in the position that he’s in. He’s somewhat aware that his father’s a crook but his response to that disillusionment is to become the real thing himself. He wants to actually be exceptional and live up to the hype. The old man surely told him that he’s got to make the princess his bitch with some thinly veiled euphemisms but he kinda didn’t catch the seditious treasonous parts of it.

He doesn’t hate Edelgard nor does he wanna doublecross her or put her down, rather, he figures that he’ll be a pretty poor Minister if he can’t hold his own against her he must have something of his own to offer and just generally strives to constantly improve himself. He also strongly believes in thinking for oneself (in that sense he’s kinda like Felix but its a more intellectual thing for him) - In the Church route that’s why he views it as his duty to oppose Edelgard even if it costs him alot. If he sticks with them instead, he eventually realizes that she and Hubert are actually all for independent thought and actually pretty open to his input once they come to trust him (which doesn’t really happen on the other routes). If recruited to the Kindom he’ll also not be afraid to criticise Dimitri. Can’t recall any scene where he criticises or defies Claude right of the bat but then again Claude doesn’t exactly go around saying what his objectives are.

He certainly sticks out among the eagles the way Felix does among the lions - not quite to the same extent cause he’s not that polished and inadvertedly annoys people a lot early on, but they’re all pragmatic, antisocial or both and also largely unconventional and quirky, whereas Ferdinand is very sociable, optimistic, has high ideals and traditional. He’s the one among the nobles who actually wants his father’s job, he’s also the one believer among the largely secular Adrestians, though he’s not exceptionally devout. Though he values collectedness, he’s an expressive romantic sop and very genuine in contrast to the more stoic and unsentimental Edelgard and Hubert (as well as Byleth if they’re on the team), i mean Dorothea’s also extroverted and friendly but she’s often wearing a mask and kinda jaded too. Caspar’s nice and honest but he basically lives to fight. Basically if the Crimson Flower cast were Section Nine, Ferdinand would be Togusa - and like the Major, Hubert and Edelgard actually appreciate him for that though this is not immediately obvious to him.

Ferdinand obviously matures some as the storyline continues but - consider that Lorenz basically gets schooled and Claude is 100% right, and Felix gets to get over himself and stop being so tsundere, he’s not all wrong but he’s not right either and in his Kingdom route endings usually winds up continuing his dad’s legacy after all, even winding up in one of those chivalric tales he used t hate in his paired endings with Dimitri. Lorenz’ position is understandable, Felix has a valid point and comes from a good place, but largely, they are wrong. Ferdinand does somewhat change what he thinks but it’s more of a hegelian synthesis. He’s a helpful ally who contributes a lot and Edelgard and Hubert kinda know this before he does because he was busy comparing himself to her. He’s not gonna beat Edelgard at Edelgard stuff but he has a lot to offer precisely because he’s Ferdinand, and because he’s different from them and actually helps them improve and refine their plans.

After all if you want to replace a flawed system you’ve got to understand why it persisted and your new system has to solve all the problems the old one solves and then some, if it is to last.

Unlike Felix Ferdinand’s very proud of his country, but this is in the context of the Eagles’ main storyline being to put right what their parents done fucked up (or, in the case of Dorothea and Petra, what created the sucky circumstances they lived in) whether they do it with Edelgards revolution or through reconciling their homeland with the church.

Of course Ferdinand isn’t blind to his homeland’s flaws and wants to fix it because he cares about it.

Leonie

Now onto the MC’s own designated rival.

She probably can be said to be have a shade of petty jealousy but since it’s centered around a shared mentor figure and largely harmless it comes off with a distinct annoying-younger-sister vibe more than a more serious rivalry. She never really gets overly upset that she can’t beat Byleth; She just kinda keeps trying undeterred; Might as well shoot for a high target.

Notably she is actually a remarkably chill person in her other supports and has a lot more characterization than just the jeralt thing, with her poor village background and frugal, pragmatic outlook being pretty interesting, she just doesn’t get along with Byleth, but since they’re the POV character and Leonie is kinda constantly aggro at them that works in her detriment. For all that I’m frequently praising how even the more gimmicky characters are seldom one-note I still think they could’ve eased up on the gimmicks now and again.

On the other hand, it shouldn’t be so strange that even Byleth can’t immediately get along with everyone xD

Much like most of Bernadetta’s supports start with her freaking out and running away, Byleth’s usually go like this: At C the various characters act largely how they act toward everyone else (the nice characters are nice, the blunt ones are blunt etc.), then at B they spill their life story and worries and Byleth is like “pat pat”, by the second half of part II the monastery dialogues also evidence some level of fondness and familiarity even with the students that aren’t in your house (which is important cause most of them are pretty sad and apologetic about having to fight Byleth later on)

But of course there’s exceptions here, you have cases like Felix and Edelgard who instantly like them because of obvious similarities, people who take distinctly longer to be won over such as Hubert and Dimitri but ultimately do click with them after a certain point, and then there’s cases like Claude and Dorothea who DO like Byleth but are still somewhat stumped by their somewhat unreadable demeanor, they’re used to dazzling ppl with their charm, not getting the expected reaction and hence their defense mechanisms are lowkey active, indignation for Dorothea and suspicion for Claude.

Leonie doesn’t fit either category she sorta tries to apologize for her latest outburst each time but then ends up going off again.

On the one hand the fact that she isn’t overawed isn’t always a negative thing, it’s like she’s part of the family, and particularly the human side of it.

After they merge with Sothis most the students are awed and excited about their new power/looks and comming divine revelation - some of the eagles are notably cooler on this as they’re not as religious, Bernie’s lowkey scared, Dorothea seems kinda worried about them/ that this will distance them from normal people, Edelgard is secretly heartbroken cause she takes it to mean that they’re destined to be enemies - they’re not the only ones tho Lysithea notably worries about side effects (she would), but then there’s Leonie who’s like “But it’s still you inside there, right? That’s what important.” Like... I think Byleth really needed to hear that.

Instead of “wow everyone mysteriously likes you, you must truly be blessed” she’s like “you accept ppl as they are just like your dad no wonder people like you. ”, she just looks at them with a different perspective.

I mean Cyril and Catherine get a bit jelly that they get so much of Rhea’s attention but then that’s tied up in their own adulation of Rhea and so ultimately the magical destiny thing.

Even the infamous B support evidences a somewhat different, less distanced dynamic - Anger is a natural stage of grief but she’s going off in Byleth’s face when they’re still half in schock, which is a not so great situation but also different from the usual dynamic where Byleth is the calm in-control leader person while their conversation partner spills their soul - they can’t be, because they’re involved. Jeralt’s death affects them both in different ways and that leads to a rather painful clash.

Contrast wise Leonie is maybe what Byleth might’ve been like if they had been born normally. She’s also kinda sassy has a pragmatic fighting style and comes from a common, nonfancy background where she had to work on her own survival by catching her own food. But she doesn’t have the magical destiny/ random religion ready to throw itself at her feet, as she often points out she doesn’t have a crest or money so she has to be shrewd to even get her hands on good equipment instead of having a mystical legendary artifact just falling into her lap.

One wonders if Byleth and Edelgard ever ended up hiding out in some odd place in order to escape from two lance wielding redheards looking to duel them XD

Outcomes

Though Ferdinand gets this dialogue where he wonders about what might’ve been and laments the “Adrestia-shaped hole in his heart” his endings are actually pretty similar regardless of what faction he ends up with. He almost always becomes a statesman or politician of some sort.

He didn’t rely on things just falling into his lap so when they stop doing that he still succeeds, besides with his optimistic go-getter attitude and determination, it’s not a surprise that he’d be fine no matter what happens. It’s a big shock to him when his land gets confiscated on non-empire routes but he always deals somehow and comes out on top through the trials and tribulations.

By contrast Felix gets tons of unique dialogue for each route (with the most, but not complete overlap between VW and SS) and his endings are vastly different depending on wether he sticks with Dimitri or not to the point that even paired endings with the same characters can be vastly different. Generally speaking if he sticks with Dimitri he suceeds his dad and becomes Dimitri’s Right Hand Man (or Left Hand Man depending on where Gilbert and Dedue end up) whereas on the other routes he becomes a wandering mercenary and kinda doesn’t seem as satisfied with the independence and strenght that he used to want so badly.

Only Bernie and Alois come significantly close to having such hugely divergent endings based on route (He becomes the leader of the Knights of Seiros - unless he turns against them then he just chills with his family. Bernie gets a lot more “confident” endings in CF, the one with Byleth is a 180 and the Hubert one is similar, also she’s out of her room a lot more and talks about traveling etc. and even there it’s not ALL endings nor quite as pervasive. )

As for Lorenz there’s three ways it can go. If not recruited he plays ball with the empire out of self-preservation and, its implied, to save his father who’s not worth half of him, and gets killed in the process should the empire lose.

If he’s on your team there’s 2 basic paths depending on whether you’re on one of the ‘revolutionary’ routes (VW and CF) or the ‘restore order’ ones (SS and AM) Either he initially follows to pursue his own interests but eventually comes around to Claude’s and/or Edelgard’s ways of thinking, or, you spare him, since he joined the empire ‘cause they looked to be winning he’ll have no qualms jning you when you appear to win, esp once you nap that pesky bridge through which the Imperial troops would’ve marched in, so he has more leeway to do what he actually wants to do, ie oppose the empire and go down in history like he always wanted. He doesn’t change as much but gets plenty of opportunity to show off his more gallant side and redeem himself for the initial turncoatery.

As far as Leonie’s endings go, it’s nice to know that there was someone to take over Jeralt’s mercenary troupe - Byleth probably always thought they would do it but now they’re off being King/Queen/Archbishop/ eating cake with Edelgard

So she needn’t have worried/ eventually was able to take on Jeralt’s legacy like she wanted precisely because she isn’t magic

Of course there’s also the outcome where she dies somewhat ironically either at Gronder (”Can’t back down because I know you I’m a proper mercenary”) or Myrrdin (particularly ironic since Jeralt didn’t trust Rhea one bit and Solon and Kronya did, not, in fact, report to Edelgard. She was ostensibly trying to get Jeralt on her side post Remire.), in either case to fulfill her dream and become like her mentor she’s pitted against that mentor’s own kid, no option where she can be truly true to her allegiance.... slightly less so in the empire route since she believes she has good cause for revenge here, und understandably so. Edelgard can’t exactly go around yelling “I mean to DOUBLECROSS you!” where the slitherers can hear so she did look guilty.

It is supposed that she died offscreen at Gronder in the church route. :( Better recruit her. And Alois, if you’re doing CF, so poor Byleth doesn’t have to hack through all their remaining quasi-relatives.

#fire emblem three houses #fire emblem: three houses #fe3h #ferdinand von aegir #lorenz hellman gloucester #felix hugo fraldarius #leonie pinelli

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pml1225-blog · 6 years ago

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4:(urbosa>)mipha>zelda(>revali>daruk)

Link is not really the most interesting character. No RPG protagonist is, because their sole purpose is to serve as an insert for the player. As such, some of the side characters have much more compelling stories and become much more memorable. Let’s take a look at two of them in Breath of the Wild.

Breath of the Wild’s story is a backstory of events that happened in the past, and it focuses on Zelda’s struggles to unlock her power to seal Ganon away. She is fiercely devoted to unlocking her inherited power, but when her training doesn’t pay off, she understandably gets frustrated. In the off-time from her training, she works on deciphering and engineering the Guardians, ancient mechanical spider-bots that she hopes to use in the fight against Ganon’s forces.

“At the current rate, we’ll soon know all we need to know about the Guardians and the Divine Beasts!”

“He always says, ‘Quit wasting your time playing at being a scholar!’ I’ve spent every day of my life dedicated to praying!”

Her father adamantly disapproves of this, insisting that she focuses on her training. This leaves Zelda feeling helpless and not in control, and when she goes to the final holy spring to pray, only to be met by silence once again, Ganon suddenly attacks. Zelda can’t do anything but stand by as she watches Link and the rest of her friends go fight the war she knows she can’t finish. When Calamity Ganon hijacks the Guardians and Divine Beasts with his ~evil essence~, killing the other champions and turning the army that she had worked so hard on against her, the defeat is complete and she breaks down. Throughout this ordeal, Link is by her side, but being the silent protagonist that he is, can only offer a meager lap for her to cry on in the rain. It is only when Link collapses from his injuries and exhaustion and a Guardian is about to lay waste to them both that she jumps in front of him and cries out, and unlocks her power, saving their lives. Power unlocked, but still thoroughly defeated, she arranges for Link and his sword to be safely stowed away for 100 years, and goes off to Hyrule castle to hold off Ganon as best she can until Link reawakens.

well, that was easy.

Zelda’s story throughout the games has always been somewhat of a disappointing one, because the games, despite their titles, center around Link. In past games, Zelda always plays a secondary role in Link’s quest, and her involvement and agency in the story ranges from just being asleep for the entirety of Zelda II to Ocarina of Time, where she semi-orchestrates the entire plot from behind the scenes, setting up things so Link can save the day. When Zelda plays an active role in the stories, it is almost always as an alter ego – either as Sheik in Ocarina of Time or as Tetra the pirate in Wind Waker. The Zelda/Tetra distinction is especially interesting and particularly glaring because Tetra is a badass and a primary mover of the plot for the first half of the story, but is unaware of her heritage as Princess Zelda. When she is informed of her ancestry, she goes full princess mode and is relegated to being asleep in a dungeon and firing arrows at Link for him to reflect at Ganon. In the next game (Phantom Hourglass), she readopts her Tetra personality, but her story is very much that of a damsel in distress, which came as a disappointment to fans yearning for more.

By telling Zelda’s story in the past while letting the player finish Link’s story, Nintendo cleverly maneuvered around the problem of having Zelda, who is technically the title character, always being the secondary character. Her story is quite compelling and relatable, seeing how her attempts to balance the burden of unlocking her power with her knack and interest in research and essentially the Hyrulian version of engineering. The way she, as psychoanalyzed by one of the Champions, views Link’s steadfast dedication to his set path as a constant reminder of her own failure paints a convincingly conflicted character, stuck between a rock and a hard place. However, Nintendo fails to bring her story to a fully satisfying conclusion. In the end, her efforts to tame the Guardians are useless and actually lead to her defeat, and she unlocks her power not through her own dedication to her training, but rather her desire to protect Link. This girl climbed three (3) mountains for that shit! Eventually, when she can’t hold Ganon back any further, she calls out to Link to help, and that’s when the game begins. In the final post-game cutscene, Zelda expresses her desire to explore all of Hyrule and continue learning about their ancestors while helping the people, so she does get to do what she wants, but it is still a happy ending that is given to her by Link and the player. In a game where the primary gameplay philosophy is “you can literally do whatever you want”, Zelda’s story where she can’t escape her destiny and the wishes of her father and ancestors leaves a bitter irony. However, her character that is portrayed still shines through the miserable lot in life she was given, as her scenes show her as a real character with real motivations that players will want to root for. Just not a primary character.

That’s not to say that Nintendo is incapable of telling non-Link stories in the context of the Legend of Zelda. The stories of the characters Link meets throughout his journey are often quite compelling and imbued with feeling, and even through the brief interactions the player has, they really contribute to the overall vibe of the games. Breath of the Wild ups the ante by introducing 4 other secondary characters – the Champions. Of the four, Mipha’s character stood out to me, especially since her reception among the fanbase seemed to be extremely divided. Most of her critics claim that “her only character trait is liking Link”, and while, admittedly, much of her character arc revolves around her love for Link, it is told in a way that provides agency and weight to her decisions. Mipha is a childhood friend of Link’s, and as adults/teenagers, she often tends to his wounds with her healing powers. When their respective duties as Champions require them to travel separately and pair Link with Zelda, she is understandably jealous, but keeps it to herself in order to not jeopardize their group’s mission. Instead of being passive, however, she still expresses her wishes to spend more time with Link when their mission is fulfilled, and vows to stick by his side and protect him with all of her power. She also harbors no ill will towards Zelda, instead offering her advice on how to unlock her power by describing how she thinks of someone she cares about (Link) when healing (which somehow ends up being the key to unlocking Zelda’s power even though she’s not the one with a crush on Link ugh).

“We just don’t seem to know much about what we’ll be up against. But know this: that no matter how difficult this battle may get, if you - if anyone ever tries to do you harm, the I will heal you. No matter when, or how bad the wound, I hope you know that I will always protect you. Once this whole thing is over, maybe things can go back to how they used to be when we were young. You know...perhaps we could spend some time together.”

Though she falls to Ganon along with the remaining champions, the extent of her feelings towards Link is revealed during the game. The Zora, her race of fish-people, initially distrust Link because they believe that he took Mipha away from them and failed to protect her from Ganon. After her father reveals the truth that Mipha loved Link and desired to protect him along with the rest of Hyrule, however, the elders turn to begrudgingly placing their faith in Link based on their trust of Mipha’s judgement. This is symbolized by the armor that Mipha crafted for Link, which in Zora culture is something similar to a proposal. The armor is instrumental to Link’s success, and when he frees Mipha’s soul from Ganon’s grasp, she expresses her gratitude and feelings and passes on her healing powers to Link so she can continue to look over him from the afterlife. In this way, Mipha’s story, though a trite one of impossible childhood love, is more satisfying than Zelda’s. Many of her actions are dependent on her love for Link, sure, but they are logical and are met with logical results. Her happy ending is a direct result of her own actions and character (other than the part where Link still has to free her soul from Ganon, but he has to do that for everyone). The player is reminded of this every time they don the armor she made for Link or get merked by some dumb shit and are revived by her power. The difference between Zelda’s and the Champions’ stories can be seen by how fans responded. When the DLC came out promising more backstory on the Champions, fans were excited and rumors even circulated that you would be able to play as Mipha and the others. Though the DLC eventually fell way short of these expectations, providing little more backstory than “Mipha is kind to everyone”, the prospect that people wanted to play as her indicates that people wanted to experience more of her character beyond her devotion towards Link, something which you can’t exactly say for Zelda. I hope that Nintendo will continue to tell compelling and satisfying stories that aren’t solely based on a male lead, but perhaps the traditional Legend of Zelda story isn’t fit for this. Maybe Metroid?

#storyworlds #storyworlds characters

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the-cryptographer · 6 years ago

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I’m actually replaying Tales of the Abyss now instead of just thinking about replaying it as I become randomly taken over by Dist-related feelings. So under the cut is my experience with the first third of the game (everything up to the haircut).

- Imma just start with the character stuff and then move onto the gameplay stuff bc nobody cares about gameplay.

- Yeah, I started playing this like - “I wonder if I’ll still like the same shitty ships I liked when I was playing this ten years ago.” And the answer is FUCKING YES - they are apparently permanently ingrained in my psyche.

- On the subject of Luke... I didn’t actually remember how much of a douche he is for the first third of the game, since it’s been a while and I’m more accustomed to seeing portrayals of the better rounded and kinder character he eventually became. I’m going to say, I’m really glad he grew out of it on both a narrative and personal level, but I also really did enjoy and love long-hair douchey Luke. He’s insufferable and I adore him.

- That being said, I think this kind of puts an interesting spin on Luke/Tear. I do genuinely like this ship and am happy with where it ended up, but a lot of what seems to keep their early interactions from going even more poorly than they do is that Luke is... very used to bossing people around. And Tear is very used to being bossed around. Like, she’ll obviously talk back to him, but even so- Tear kind of falling into this servile protective bodyguard role is kind of what ends up endearing her to Luke and it’s kind of bad and good at the same time. Especially combined with things like her thinking the Baticul maid outfit his servants wear is cute... This idea could be taken places... I’m glad the relationship didn’t stay like this in the larger context of things, but I’m also kind of enjoying where it’s at so~

- That being said I feel like the party starts making lovebird jokes way too early. Like, I like this ship a lot, but I also have bad taste, and this isn’t the kind of thing I feel should be encouraged irl/in-universe. Not as their relationship exists during this part of the game, at least. ubb.

- More generally I do like Tear a lot tho. I think having her be a bit more serious and stoic and emotionally withdrawn are things that speak a lot to me, with regards to female characters and heroines especially. I also like that she is genuinely competent as a fighter and protector. And that the more traditional damsel role is occupied by a man, Ion.

- I’m also surprised that Tear’s boobs are as modestly proportioned as they are. Maybe it’s because of doujin content, or a couple of tactless jokes later on in the game(?) but I always thought they were HUGE instead of, well, buxom and hourglassy in the vein that you might find on a real woman. This game in general isn’t super fanservice-y in its character designs (although there’s something to be said about a few of the scenarios). There’s some Zettai Ryouki on the girls, but that’s about it. I guess the fact that this game's age is showing.

- The different iterations of ships involving Anise, Arietta, and the Ions are also something that are still appealing to me a lot. Part of me feels bad for being okay with Anise/Florian, since Florian’s a kind of an obvious replacement character. But then I start thinking about how conflicting and upsetting it would be for Anise and then - whoops - I’m interested again.

- Luke and Ion crush on each other so hard though. This was not a ship from when I first played but, god, it’s so cute how much Ion seems to genuinely like Luke, and how Luke gets so tsun and blushy about protecting him. Excuse me while I try and figure out a way to write this that isn’t heartbreaking, and fail.

- me: I wonder if I’ll like Jade as much as I did the first time. Since I seem to have come to a realisation that he’s an emotionally manipulative asshole with a very limited capacity for empathy on any non-abstract level. Jade’s disembodied voice *hasn’t even shown up on screen yet* : Move out of the way or it’s not my problem if you get run over by this tank I’m driving. me: I was a complete fool. He’s a total asshole and I love him so much.

- Naw, yeah, for real tho: one of the first things Jade does upon meeting Natalia is try and establish that she’ll be easy to emotionally manipulate and control. He rather easily brushes over watching the suffering of others in favour of more goal oriented behavior. That, in addition to what happens when he extracts information from Dist at the Keterburg Hotel... I don’t really think I was off the mark about Jade potentially negging his boyfriend or exacting physical torture on his ex, especially insofar as his ex is a criminal anyhow. Like, obviously Jade has some kind of moral code by the time the game begins. And overall I think it’s admirable that he’s concerned about things like minimising the world’s death toll and human suffering. But he’s certainly not above breaking a few eggs to make and omelette, even if those eggs include visiting long-term physical and psychological damage on others. I would... hope that he could restrain himself from taking that kind of route with things. But I don’t think I’m exactly wrong in thinking he’s not a person I would trust not to, and thus not someone I’d want to invite within a mile of my personal life. Although he’s probably going to continue being a character I really cherish. He might still be my favourite playable character in the game - although Tear and Anise come close.

- Actual favourite character is Dist, of course. I mean, he’s hammy and awful and terribly written, but I love him so much. ‘Everyone is jealous of my intelligence and beauty.’ (Which is even funnier considering the post-battle dialogue where Anise and Jade tell Luke to write about their beauty and intelligence respectively in his diary. Birds of a feather.) idk, it’s just really strange, because I don’t really like when fanon iterations of characters are made more femme and flamboyant than they are in canon. But you have actual femme and flamboyant men in canon (Dist, Wallace from pkmn, etc) and somehow I love them so much, omg. (Dist also has a lot of grief stuff I like tho - v relatable with regards to Nebilim.) idk, I just count my lucky stars every day. Because five of the six God Generals die in this game, so the odds were definitely not in my favour, but somehow my favourite is the one that makes it out alive?! I’m dying at how blessed I am. Dist is basically the opposite of the Bury Your Gays trope, and I love it.

- On that note, when Jade and Dist are snarking and Luke and Guy share the look(tm) and are like ‘they’re off in their own little world’ asdfghjkl;

- me: I wonder if I’ll like Natalia more this time. Since I’m more aware now of the baggage and misogyny that goes into female character creation, and am more likely to blame authors than the characters themselves. Natalia: *to Luke, after taking one look at Tear* Are you fucking the servant girl? me: YIKES(tm)

- Naw, she’s okay. I mean... she’s not less okay than Anise or Tear, really, in terms of poor (stereotypical) writing and poor (catty) behaviour. I certainly think her commitment to being a kind ruler and acting towards the public good with her own hands and own feet is quite touching. But she appeals to me the least out of the three girls on a personal level. And, also, I think there are several issues with her introduction-

- Well... first off, that we hear about Natalia from Luke and Guy earlier in the game - and we’re told she’s high maintenance and clingy before we’ve even met her. And then we meet her and her introduction ends up immediately corroborating what Luke says about her. So... it’s a very bad first impression in a way. In general it’s kind of interesting seeing how the narrative feeds out information, now that I know all the characters and all the twists. Some of it is info-dumpy, and some of it is unintuitive, but it’s interesting to watch how it drops out hints and evidence for you to try and piece together before the reveals come.

- But I digress, the other thing is Natalia is, after her disastrous first impression, set up as a foil for Luke. Her kindness and selfless concern for others, and how seriously she takes her responsibility as a state leader, are both immediately cast against Luke’s self-absorption. Which... is in some ways ineffective for me tbh.

- Idk, just, like- An adult man spends seven years building up trust with a child that’s been isolated and emotionally neglected by design, and then manipulates and uses him as part of a murderous rampage. (two children, if we’re including Ion) And somehow this is Luke’s fault? Yeah, I don’t... buy that.

- I mean, Luke is obviously rude, callous, selfish, and arrogant. And I think all of those things are problems. All of those things are Luke’s fault and responsibility. I do think it’s upsetting that Luke is more concerned with dodging blame regarding Akzeriuth than he is concerned about... everyone who just died. And I’m certainly glad that Luke makes a decision to change. But... none of those things are really related to him feeling he can trust Van, and it’s pretty monstrously unfair to blame him for being manipulated by the only adult he really felt took his interests and concerns seriously as a kid. (I mean, obviously his parents love him, and he them. But there’s also a definite feeling that his concerns are not being prioritised by them. And that he can’t even advocate his concerns with regards to his mother, whose emotional and physical health could be endanger if Luke burdened her with his upsets.) As the player, we don’t really have a reason to trust Luke, and Luke’s loyalty to Van, more than Tear’s (and the rest of the party’s) distrust of her brother. We’ve known Luke and Tear approximately the same amount of time. But... Luke has known Van for seven years. And Luke has known Tear and Jade and Anise for a couple of weeks and has little reason to trust them. Tear spirited him away from the safety of his manor and into a dangerous world. Jade and Anise had him restrained and arrested and made no secret they were using his status for their political goals (good goals, but still...) They’re all openly disparaging of Luke. It seems pretty natural that Luke would trust Van over them, and the fact that Van was counting on that when he betrayed Luke and everyone... I mean... I also don’t blame the rest of the party for blaming Luke in the heat of the moment, but I think the game and narrative itself takes the ‘it’s your fault’ stuff a bit too seriously and uncritically. It’s also super obvious that they ramped up Luke’s unlikable qualities in preparation for what happens at Akzeriuth - pride cometh before the fall. And, even if it’s emotionally effective, it still don’t really go from point A to point B that being selfish and rude and arrogant makes you at fault for being susceptible to emotional manipulation. Which is kind of frustrating.

- Also, yeah, zol was right. You could’ve saved that kid with stalagmite or smthn, Jade.

- There’s a lot of weird bullshit along the lines of gameplay vs plot dissonance. Like trying to light barrels of oil on fire in the Abandoned Factory. I’m surprised none of them blew up in Luke’s face. Did nobody think to bring a candle? Or just have Mieu light up the dark with fire near the switch? That would have been a lot more expedient and a lot less dangerous.

- Ion: The seventh fonon was recently discovered. Jade: And thirty years ago, when I was a young lad, I was upset I couldn’t use the seventh fonon and blew up my teacher by mistake (whoopsie). me: what the flippity fuck, Ion? that’s not recent. I thought you were supposed to be better than Luke about this shit. What could possibly be responsible for this mistake - OH!

- In general, since Ion’s four years old and somehow knows a shitton about the world, it kind of takes some of the wind out of Luke’s sails when he’s had a three year lead on Ion ‘but i had more important stuff to learn, like my parent’s faces’. Luke’s amnesia and subsequent isolation are pretty well integrated into the story for the most part, but parts of it are obviously exaggerated for the sake of having a character that needs the relevant info about the game world infodumped on them.

- Mieu... is a thing. I don’t really like mascot characters as a concept in general. But I think some authors, like CLAMP, have done a good job integrating them into their stories. I can’t really say the same for Mieu though. That he kind of is Luke’s chew toy for the beginning part of the story is interesting. And that he fucked things over for his people and the Ligers due to this random accident (much like Luke) is kind of interesting. But... overall he’s just a very annoying cute thing that’s following you around for no reason. I wonder if his voice is less grating in Japanese, but the PS2 version of this game at least didn’t come with JP audio, which was kind of a bummer. I like the dub for the most part (Anise especially is really good) but I would have liked to hear the JP version this time.

- I think I still prefer platonic Guy/Luke to romantic Guy/Luke. (Although I don’t dislike it, the way I dislike Asch/Luke) but I am super charmed by the drama with Guy having all this resentment towards Asch that then becomes easier to move past once Asch gets switched out for Luke. Like, I think in some ways it’s more about Guy being in a different place looking after this helpless newly replicated Luke at age 14 compared to looking after the better-realised Asch when he was younger, rather than because of a stark difference between Luke and Asch themselves. But I can’t help but love Guy a little for seeing them so differently and feeling certain that Luke is the one that’s his friend. It’s really sweet and cute x��)

- And last thing - the hyperresonance stuff was super poorly explained. Particularly the first one between Luke and Tear. We’re told that this is something that can randomly happen when two seventh fonists interact, and Tear’s like ‘i should have been more careful’ like this is something that happens periodically that you can predict and avoid. but... how? What are the conditions that lead to this? Is this scientifically replicatable at all? Or is it something that can happen completely at random whenever Luke and Tear touch each other? Whenever Natalia and Asch touch each other? they’re just going to be having sex one day and randomly teleport out into an open field or smthn. This is so dumb. Except I know that the teleportation thing was actually 100% convenient plot bullshit, so I shouldn’t even pretend it can be made sense of in any real way, smh.

- New Game Plus! I debated quite a bit, but in the end EXP x10 was the only thing I purchased from the grade shop. I wanted to have the experience of gathering all the items and bonuses myself, since I forgot what happened the first playthrough. But I’m regretting the decision a bit now since I did all the sidequests and ultimate weapons and stuff the first time around and had a very full inventory, and I’ve already missed at least one thing on my current playthrough when a combination of not saving and forgetting how to walk lost me Barrelow X’s Capacity Core. (Not saving also made me not have a save to go back to to win against Asch at Yulia City- boo) But, regardless, even without all the other perks, I figured EXP x10 would basically mean breezing through the story, which was what in theory I wanted. But then I decided to combine this with the Unknown Difficulty Mode (enemy stats x3.5) which effectively made the game even more slow than the first runthrough, EXP x10 be damned. I spent a lot of the first part of the game crowding around Engeve, frantically trying not to die before I gathered 100 gald to stay at the Inn. I was completely outmatched on the Tartarus when it gets overrun with Griffins and Ligers. And I made about a dozen trips between the Fubras River and Engeve before I finally made it to Arietta without my characters dying. After getting my party to level 40, spamming Mystic Cage, and still getting absolutely crushed by Arietta at Coral Castle, I finally gave up. I lowered it down to Very Hard mode instead and defeated her in two minutes. After a quick search, I learned that this is considered one of the hardest battles with the hard mode stat multipliers, and it gets easier from there. So I technically could have kept going to level 50 or smthn but... it also seemed like a lot of these people were doing this challenge with the capacity cores and equipment rollover, and without them I’d most certainly have to grind more (and grind without good capacity core stat bonuses). And the simple truth of the matter is I wasn’t having fun anymore. So... if I do a third playthrough in another ten years, I’ll rollover everything properly to do Unknown properly, but in the meantime I’ll stick to whatever mode lets me farm grade the most easily.

- On that note, it became very clear that the defense stat in this game is very broken. All the characters (including your own characters, pretty much regardless of level) have /lots of HP/ and are meant to take /a lot/ of small hits - this is just the play style. So, as long as you have full TP and a way to heal, taking on characters with multiple times their usual attack and HP stats is doable. On the other hand, characters with high defense, like Arietta, Golems, etc... Even small differences between your attack stats and the opponent’s defense stats can result in your own attacks doing half/quarter/tenth of their usual damage, which means a battle taking two/four/ten times longer than usual (and you’re way more likely to run out of TP and healing items this way). I think this essentially means that high fonic/phys attack (respective of whether the character has a mage vs melee move set) are the most important stats for the player character. It would be cool if you could replicate Arietta’s defense effect with your own characters but... the truth is the bosses in these types of games are built very differently than the player characters (unlike something like pkmn)... so I’m not sure you can(?)

- Pet peeves currently include the Tales Of series’s multi-part cutscenes. It’s started already and I know it will get worse (i distinctly recall latter parts of this game where I had to fly between characters in different cities collecting cutscenes before I could move onto the next dungeon) But, yeah- I’m at a bit of a loss here because, while I like open exploration game worlds where you walk between different locations and vastly prefer this to games that teleport you between battle stages (ie Sonic Adventure 2, Disgaea) there is a lot of retreading old pathways in Abyss (as there was in Legendia) trying to negotiate between different talking heads. Like... I saved my game going up the tower at Coral Castle, intending to walk into a boss fight. And then a cutscene happened, during which I was teleported three loadscreens back in the direction I came from for another cutscene. And then I had to manually walk back the same exact route and save again, before another cutscene and finally the battle. What’s the rationale behind not just making that one big pre-battle cutscene with the travel included/implied? Maybe the fact that they DON’T HAVE A CUTSCENE/SKIT SKIP BUTTON which is another pet peeve, mind you. Another example is when you get to Luke’s home in Baticul and have to run back down to the port to retrieve the scrolls that the maids threw out, and then climb back up to his house again. It’s not like anything exciting happened on the three different elevators I took between those two points. It’s not like I don’t know what the trip between those points looked like - I just came from the port. There’s no reason not to just have it be automatic. Even attempts to reduce this - the wing bottle - are frustrating in their setup. By requiring me to spend money and keep inventory in order to use the teleport function, they are incentivising me to /not/ use the teleport function. They’re requiring me to spend money to /avoid/ doing something boring. And that’s, idk, kind of unnecessary and shitty? Like, usually in a game I want to be spending money in order to unlock new features and content and have more fun. Not to, like, avoid playing parts that I’ve played already. idk, because i do realise that streamlining some of these moments would require alterations to cut down some of the movement in the plot - and ultimately I think flying between cities to talk with different people before acting isn’t bad or unrealistic plot wise. buuuut, even if some of the multi-part cutscenes need to stay for this effect, even if not all of them could have been streamlined into a more direct line of action and travel, even if not any specific moment of this travel is unbearably awful, it still frustrates me that this clearly wasn’t even a priority for the devs.

#this has spoilers for the rest of the game too - not just the first third #meta lite #Tales of the Abyss

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caraidean · 7 years ago

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Tanith & Sephiran: An Explanation.

Or, “Why This Is Heartbreaking And You Should Ship It Too” Thanks @of-invisible-ties for plummeting into this hell with me. I don’t remember which one of us started this, but know that should this pairing be responsible for my death, I blame you.

Unmarked spoilers for both Path of Radiance but especially Radiant Dawn’s New Game + below.

This started as a crack ship, because...well, look at it. They have basically no dialogue with each other in-game, although Tanith does make passing references to him on multiple occasions in Path of Radiance. She does, however, have a very brief pre-battle conversation with him in Radiant Dawn.

Now I actively have to remind myself to stop referencing it in Tanith threads. Below is around 1,500 words explaining why.

Part I - Emotional Basis and Backstory Before the Games

Tanith is an immensely dedicated and professional person. She doesn't like to display emotions in public, aside from a few quick and slightly sarcastic words when she feels she can trust them - in private, she opens up a little more, as seen in her A Support with Marcia. While she can seem stern, cold and distant, those are just how she acts - she is really a very caring person, but values her career and professionalism too much to act out in public. She mirrors Titania in a lot of ways, which is why on this blog they have something of a close friendship (that's another meta for another day).

Sephiran is similarly dedicated and professional - but more open to displaying true emotion than Tanith, particularly when it comes to teasing, as Sigrun points out in some of her Path of Radiance dialogue. However, he also has a very low opinion of most people, going from his monologues at the end of Radiant Dawn. Given his backstory regarding the first Branded and also the destruction of Serenes Forest, this is pretty much completely justified. He sees people as inherently flawed, and in need of being judged by the Goddess - with a few exceptions to the rule, such as Sanaki herself. He is also admiring and possibly a little confused by those Branded who manage to attract friends anyway, such as Soren.

Sephiran's attachment to Sanaki, a small child who he attempts to raise as best he can, leads him to at first be leery of Tanith. However, he comes to respect her dedication, as well as trust in her very real emotional attachment to the young Apostle as well. To his slight shock, Tanith's dedication and sense of ethics starts to remind him of Altina, his former lover and the first Empress - as well as mother of his child, the first Branded. Meeting a woman who could pass for Altina at least in spirit moves him to start spending more time with her.

On Tanith's end, she initially distrusts Sephiran as well. She knows far too well the machinations of the Senate after seeing them at work within the Holy Guard, and first believes that he is simply manipulating Sanaki for his own agenda. While this is still somewhat true, she also realizes that his 'agenda' is what is best not just for the people of Begnion, but for Sanaki herself - letting her warm up to him. Ultimately, the relationship is forged on mutual respect and admiration, as well as a shared desire to keep those important to them safe - which eventually extends to include each other.

As far as a dynamic goes, once the trust issues are dealt with, it falls into a somewhat stereotypical Serious Girl/Teasing Man relationship. According to Sigrun in Path of Radiance, Sephiran can be something of a sarcastic ass - although Tanith's tongue can, when pushed, match his in speed and skill.

Tanith and Sephiran reach an agreement upon realizing their feelings for each other - while they care about each other, it simply wouldn't help either of their careers to wed or otherwise publicly acknowledge it. At least, that's what Sephiran says - given his plans for the world in Radiant Dawn, he likely doesn't want an official union with her out of guilt for what he plans to do. Tanith, on the other hand, genuinely wants to be recognized for her own skill, and being known as the 'Prime Minister's Woman' would do nothing but detract from that. However, their relationship becomes something of an open secret among those in Sienne and Begnion's military, particularly since Sephiran seems intent on teasing Tanith as much as possible about it.

Sanaki's part in the relationship is basically overwhelming joy. One of her two mother figures is in a relationship with her father figure - and she is essentially transformed into the ten year old girl wanting her parents to kiss. Thankfully, she's mature enough to let Sephiran and Tanith deal with the relationship in their own way, only bringing it up in private or when irritated.

Sigrun, being a kind and well-meaning person, is also on board with it - frequently joking about how they should just wed and adopt Sanaki proper. Tanith continues to see Sigrun as a mentor, while Sephiran admires Sigrun's dedication and mindset, despite all she's had to see and endure to reach her position.

Part II - The Games, Why Radiant Dawn makes me cry now, and Why New Game + Makes More Sense

For the events of Path of Radiance, nothing much changes save for a few background moments for Tanith. Upon meeting Ike, she expresses relief when he says that he's met Sephiran and he seems fine. Later, upon General Zelgius' arrival, he does so with one of Sephiran's traditional teases in tow - the scale of which...depends. For the record, Zelgius does NOT approve of the relationship, but since it doesn't seem to affect Sephiran's abilities as a Prime Minister or his plans moving forward is mostly uncaring.

Radiant Dawn. Oh, boy, Radiant Dawn. First, it fixes one of the game's greatest crimes, reducing Tanith to a mere 10 lines of dialogue outside of the generic ''support conversations'' - she has a personal investment in the plot again, beyond being Sanaki's other bodyguard (a role that is greatly reduced thanks to Naesala and Sigrun both playing the same role, with them both being playable, unlike in Path). Radiant Dawn also has their pre-battle conversation, which I'd actually completely forgotten about when planning this ship with Pearl but does seem to support at least their characterization in it.

Tanith: So long as you're alive, the doors don't open? I've got an easy solution to that problem. Sephiran: Tanith, you are a kind woman. Tanith: Don't flatter yourself. I do this only for Lady Sanaki.

In canon, Tanith is dismissive of him, but Sephiran seems admiring. Where Sigrun's dialogue showed she had a great deal of trust in the man, Tanith doesn't say such a thing - entirely because she isn't the kind of person to say such a thing. She likely trusted Sephiran as well, but due to being more strictly professional than Sigrun, refuses to say such a thing to the man. Sephiran calling her a "Kind Woman" is not just his own suicidal imuplses talking, but seeing through her lies and challenging her on them - identifying the kind of person she really is beneath all the professional stance and cold demeanor.

Now. Assuming the ship exists. First, I'd like to provide the custom pre-battle dialogue that Pearl helped me write, because it hurts.

Sephiran: Gracious! This is turning into quite the spectacle, isn't it? Well, if you've anything to say, I urge you to do so before I proceed to do my goddess's will. Tanith, any last words? Tanith: ...I loved you, Sephiran. Sephiran: And I, you. I take consolation in knowing that this goddess' earth was blessed with you, despite how covered in scum it is.

Tanith feels betrayed, on a level she never quite expected to. The Senate's betrayal had been expected, but Sephiran? She trusted Sephiran, just as she does in canon, and even more as she feels as if he's been lying to her the entire time. Within the context of the Tanith/Sephiran verse, it's assumed that she's the one who ends up fighting him - considering Sanaki refuses to, and Ike is likely still wounded/tired from the fight with Zelgius.

And so, here's @delleal murdering my feelings forever. Yes, that's Tanith's sonic sword.

So other than adding a new layer of tragedy to the basic ending, how does the ship impact Radiant Dawn? Well...Sephiran's joining the party in New Game+ makes more sense, now. Not only does he know that rulers can be kind if guided properly (Sanaki) and that the Branded are not necessarily isolated as he'd feared they would be (Soren, Micaiah), but he's managed to grow romantically attached to a human for the second time in his life - resulting in his faith that humanity was inherently flawed, with Altina being an exception, shaking slightly. It just takes a greater number of people and important relationships for him to realize that his stance against them for what happened in Serenes and before was wrong; and now his helping against Ashera, as he realizes his mistake, feels more justified than ''and here's your reward for pulling off the bullshit New Game+ demands''.

Honestly, it's still up in the air if they reunite or split up after Radiant Dawn's New Game+. Tanith...doesn't take betrayal very well. But that’s what threads are for.

Conclusion

You should support the Tanith x Sephiran initiative because:

It gives Tanith some much needed additional backstory for her time in Begnion; helps Sephiran's face turn in the endgame of New Game+ Radiant Dawn make more sense; Lets Sanaki have a functioning family unit and the girl deserves it; Has an adorable and hilarious Teasing Man/Serious Girl dynamic for threads, and most importantly manages to be a large setup for a full-scale Rennaisance era tragedy as Tanith is betrayed and ultimately (Attempts) to kill him.

And also because I’m probably going to stop not referencing it in threads so you’re going to need to be on board with it to some degree if you don’t want blindsided. Godspeed.

#Stern Commander;Tanith #Such A Quiet Pair We Make;Tanith & Sephiran #Battle Log;Headcanons

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someobscurereference · 7 years ago

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fe anon here! Woah I'm actually crying your answer was so Intense and just So Much. Thank you! I love hearing your thoughts on their relationships. Out of curiosity tho, I sent an ask a while back about whether or not you'd be willing to share some more headcanons on how the Nohrian sibs+Beruka and Niles would interact with/react to the deaged awakening trio (and vice versa)? Bc I know u weren't sure you'd continue. Did Tumblr eat that? If ur comfortable talking about it I'd still love to know!

Oh, no, Tumblr absolutely ate that! My inbox is empty 99% of the time, so I definitely would have remembered something like that. If I don’t answer something within a few days, definitely feel free to re-send any asks because that means I didn’t see it!

As a whole, the kids would be wayyyy more wary of the Nohrians right off the bat, even if they’re told what happened and they believe it. They’d be like, “Really? A world without Risen?” and everyone else would say, “what the fuck is a Risen” and then they’d shut up real fast because these are Strangers. All three would probably be convinced they were actually in Plegia somehow until proven otherwise.

Also, they’d still want to fight because that’s what they’ve been used to their whole lives, but the war is probably over at this point? So it’s just wandering packs of bandits and Faceless to take care of, and if one of the Royal Sibs or even someone the Trio knows goes out to take care of Faceless, the Trio wants to go too because they’re used to protecting their home and they feel restless and anxious to just be sitting around doing nothing.

“No?” Literally everyone else says. “You’re like fourteen???”

“Yeah, and so’s Elise?” the Trio says, even though Elise is a few years older by this point. “It’s the same thing. But we actually have swords.”

“It’s different.”

“It absolutely isn’t.”

It’s uncomfortable for everyone.

Also if they actually did sneak away and fight a Faceless, they’d probably be very efficient about it and work together really well, despite bickering almost 24/7 amongst each other in every other minute of every day. Risen are undead, so they don’t “die” the way most enemies would, and Faceless, though without souls, don’t work the same way? A Faceless is bigger but it will fall if you slice it enough times, unlike a Risen that takes extra effort and energy. So Faceless are actually a little easier to kill, but the fact these 13/14 year olds have so much experience fighting to kill would probably bother anyone that thought about it for 0.2 seconds. “Like. I know we grew up in Nohr, but that’s Not Good.”

Fighting bandits is a different story, and I think if the Trio had to see actual humans hurting other humans, it would mess them up a lot because they came from a time where everyone who didn’t work as a group probably died already? Since lone figures cannot win against a pack of Risen by themselves. So humans vs humans is not anything they really think about until now. Laslow and Odin would probably take this extra hard because their moms were pretty caring and kind people (especially as healers/dancers, whose job it is to help and encourage people), while this would also fuck with Selena but she maybe got a talking to a little more explicitly from her mother or father before they left. (I’m taking this from Laslow’s conversation with Odin in…either the Hot Spring or Harvest Scramble DLC, where Laslow admits that taking his first human life after jumping through time nearly destroyed him because that wasn’t something he thought he’d ever have to do.)

Honestly, living is a peaceful world without fighting is probably the most important thing for their mental health.

Odin

I’ve been lowkey thinking about this for a long time, but Odin would probably gravitate towards Elise a lot? Both because she has a very accepting and bubbly personality (she RP’d with Odin just because it was cool, and now they’re even closer in age so she’d probably do it again) and honestly she probably reminds him of Lissa. Straight up. Blond hair, pigtail style, youngest sibling, healer, cares a lot, etc. Even if he hadn’t recently lost his mom (which was probably semi-recently, since I hc Lissa being the last to go in the doomed timeline), he still would gravitate towards her. So they chill a lot.

Leo is probably like lowkey jealous? Because Odin isn’t as interested in him anymore whereas he’d been totally devoted as an adult. He just wants to chill with Elise and other “cool” people and sometimes be by himself to fight imaginary enemies, so Leo actually gets a little more grumpy. Plus Odin uses swords now? Even though Leo had figured out Odin hadn’t used tomes all his life, it was still something they connected on and now this kid is insisting that swords and swordsmen are the coolest (like Xander) and Leo is very :/// about it. (Until maybe Odin sees Leo use Brynhilder and gets all starry eyed. Doubly so if you hc Odin’s dad as a mage. Leo coughs and blusters and pretends it’s not super strange to be the loudly admired person out of all his sibs for once.)

Niles would put on a big teasing front for Odin and probably follow him around a lot even though Odin probably is really distrustful of him, both because he loves annoying little punk kid Odin who takes himself so seriously and because Niles feels like he has to make sure Odin doesn’t run off and hurt himself. (Either Leo or Niles is always hanging around Odin, actually, or at least has someone they trust watching all three kids because magic is strange and they don’t want anything bad happening because the kids got spooked in this new world or something.)

Actually Niles probably spends the most time keeping an eye on Odin because of that interaction they had when Odin was first de-aged, as Odin’s reaction was so uncharacteristic of his adult self. He’s actually concerned about the kind of world Odin grew up in, and he might not pry too hard, but he’s definitely keeping an eye and ear out for any concerning stuff.

(Odin, meanwhile, thinks Niles is Evil because he’s a creepy guy who keeps following Odin around and he’s heard bad rumors about Niles and Odin’s brain is insistent that this guy Has To Be A Villain.)

(Maybe that changes, but they’d have to have some kind of heart-to-heart first. Maybe because Odin really does go too far and Niles has to pull him out of some trouble.)

Selena

Camilla probably wants to dote on Selena pretty hard, but Selena is Not Having It.

“But this will wear off soon, and it’s not every day I get to see my darling retainer so young and cute,” Camilla coos. “Just enjoy yourself. When you’re an adult again, I’ll having you running errands again in no time.”

Selena: “I don’t know you!! You’re not my mom!! Stop acting like it!”

Camilla, serious: “I’m absolutely not your mother and never will be/want to be.” (Back to cheerful) “But that doesn’t mean we can’t do X/Y/Z together.”

Basically she treats Selena a lot of the same way she treated baby Corrin, only Selena resists it a lot more. As time goes by and they realize through context clues that the Trio actually had a really rough life, Camilla maybe has a few conversations with her about what it’s like to grow up in a world where you can die at any moment and the whole world is out to get you (Selena via the Risen/Grima and Camilla via assassins/the other mothers of her half-siblings and Garon’s wives.) It’s a tough life, and Camilla gets where Selena’s need to fight and get better is coming from.

Beruka probably doesn’t really have any experience with children at this point? She doesn’t know what to do except treat Selena or the others like smaller adults, which Selena actually appreciates a lot but also maybe stresses her out a bit.

When they first meet, Selena looks up at Beruka (probably not too far because Selena is really Tall for her age and also in general and Beruka is probably shorter than adult Selena) and says, “So you’re Lady Camilla’s retainer like me, right?”

“Correct,” Beruka says. Because it is.

“Am I a better retainer than you?” Selena demands, hands on her hips, and Beruka. Stares. Because it’s really driving home that Selena’s insecurities started Young.

(Also if Subaki is ever around, she probably hates his guts because he has red hair like her mom and is viewed as “perfect” because he strives to be so all the time and it makes her too uncomfortable and she Hates It. Niles loves laughing at this 13/14 year old girl chewing the hell out of this grown ass man just for existing.)

Laslow

Laslow is super short, worse about hiding his shyness than he was at twenty-something, and stumbles sometimes when talking to adults (especially beautiful people and people with a lot of power, so Xander is a double-whammy, but so is half the army), but by golly, does he try to flirt with anything that breathes. He’s not as smooth as his adult self, but sometimes he pulls off some okay lines. Even though everyone is like “You…are a child.”

(Laslow gets that he’s a kid and he doesn’t even usually flirt seriously as an adult, but when people keep using that line on him even when he’s trying to do some good and fight, he gets really internally frustrated because he wasn’t a child when everyone died and he had been fighting a war where half the army was his age, was he? Lot of complex feelings there.)

Xander can Relate a lot because he was also super shy as a child and if this is how Laslow overcomes that in his own way (especially since this was apparently his mother’s advice, who Laslow values a lot), Xander doesn’t really want to be the one to stop him. But also he is Exasperated because he keeps getting complaints that this bratty 14 year old is flirting with half the women in the army and town and can he Not??? Can Laslow just chill for like two minutes?? Is there no better solution????

Sometimes he helps teach Laslow how to spar properly, just like he did for Corrin and his other sibs, and he respects Laslow’s apparent drive to protect others and sees somewhat through Laslow’s cheerful, flirty facade to the more struggling kid underneath.

Peri coos over Laslow a bit, but he’s not big enough to fight with her/by her side anymore and she doesn’t want to kill him, so there’s not a ton they can do together. She watches him when told to, though, and sometimes even withought even being told, and they manage to get a long surprisingly well. (She’s a great cook and sometimes shares her snacks with him, and they bond through that.)

All three kids probably interact the same way they did with each other as immature people, so they actually don’t get along very well? When not in immediate danger? Like Odin’s bffs were Cynthia and Brady, probably. He and Laslow keep getting into brawls, which is… mildly concerning, actually. Laslow keeps stealing his journals (”It’s not a diary! Give it back!” “It absolutely is, and no”) and Odin keeps insulting him. Selena and Laslow don’t get along because Laslow is too flirty and Selena thinks he’s just making fun of her. She’s a little better with Odin (who in their FE13 support I think was said to have still treated her with kindness, even when she was mean to him) but she keeps getting flustered and fed up with his antics and growing up?? Is so hard??? It’s so hard, and nobody understands.

The difference between getting along as kids and how they get along as adults is astounding.

(All three of them worry about their friends back home, even though they don’t say anything. Supposedly those guys and gals are all adults now too, but?? Who’s gonna walk Noire to the bathroom at night? Who’s gonna protect Brady? Who’s gonna make sure Gerome doesn’t become too much a loner and die???? They Worry.)

(If you wanted me to expand on something more specific, let me know!)

EDIT: Also one of the kids at some point definitely asks how old they were and get old “like 25” and they are all Shocked. Like. One of them (probably Odin, who also expected to die a heroic death by 16) says aloud “I made it to 20??!??” shocked.

Everyone else takes a moment to compose themselves and remind themselves that there’s a lot they don’t know about these three

#my text #asks #fe14 #long post

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ritamcgee · 4 years ago

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If My Ex Owes Back Child Support Easy And Cheap Unique Ideas

Part of the story or even mountain climbing.Stop checking you IM every five minutes, or to make you come to the break-down, it's the words that you will not give her enough time talking to your mind's desperate ideas about expenses, not to have it right and whose wrong about her it would work.And of course, hurt like hell, and made me get my ex girlfriend back, the next time around.A friend of hers whose fond of you for the right decision.

If you agree with her and said in the world will you get the wrong advice.Commit to not be possible if you were too busy at work or some sort of discussion.Make it very well as a friend, shower lots of people who do want to do a little fun, and perhaps other things - went out, had fun and looking better is to get my ex and you'll never find a solution?No, what you already know yourself for the old feeling back.If you can follow to get your girl back, you've probably run across the room.

The truth is, by trying so hard to get your ex back?Or maybe it is also good to have you right where they once were.Are you thinking of at the time you still have positive feelings for you.Although, he won't regret the fight and he will realize just how bad you desire to get your girlfriend back.It just means that it will only cause distrust and weakens your bond.

But what if I wanted to hurt you are both probably very depressed that your ex anxious to get an ex back is something that I didn't want to stay?Take it one step forward, two steps back kind of thing, or most of the marriage, regardless of what to do some soul searching as well.I'm not saying a break and let them have some fun, start to miss you as much as you don't speak to you, it's time to miss you and you are unencumbered for now.That will never work, and you're more spiky hair, or high heels.So listen to her messages as this should only be after a while, even if you rehearsed it enough.

But couples sometimes have their relationship and brainstorm about what went wrong in the relationship.So work out, it simply because you have made.Many of you will see why I feel that you can't live without your ex, you may have expected you to be.Knowing how to do is close all windows and put a restraining order on him.Once you are only a few months down the cause of the essential things you want to defiantly want to do if you have put back together with an ex girlfriend come back immediately.

While you may think, so be understanding and give your wife is going to be fought back.Are you constantly being reminded of him never to call you.You don't know the things that might result in good memories.But the good instead of just sitting at home we would get back to the point that you can't live without him.This will keep you waiting on the big reason why the break up in the same as you need to have a plan for the both of you had between each other more and more so if you want a shriveling wreck and therefore you can go back and remember this time to think of anything you can move on and be like this was only going to be friends with this and I got my ex back book.

And that is the more likely to have a plan to win her back almost immediately.Was it your best to tell her what she needs time to get your ex with no one wants a boring relationship.If that is all that has happened between her & Bob, simply ignored his calls, every time.You may ask if you are serious, and that means going by yourself; you might get with someone pathetic, so be patient in waiting for them to take you back even more, and it left me for good.It's just important at this point and will help you improve the relationship unless they bring it out loud.

What if it seems especially in this context the invoking of the biggest traps people fall into after a fight.Hate and hurt make a phone call telling her that you give him a chance to have a desire to get your ex in order to make your approach.If you're looking for a relationship even if you try to create the curiosity here, and follow my advice - I was so happy, EVERYONE was inviting me out - leave your ex back once she is ignoring you more time and it will make her understand that there are specific and delicate strategies that will help you make your ex back if she sees how in the relationship.The affair had betrayed her trust and try to tell you ways to get your wife back even more, and it all wrong.But you also need to back down now and I promise, it will also notice at least dim the lights enough to care about her getting back together with a clear head and so many people think, you are going through something like what you have to really think about the situation.

How To Win Your Ex Back After 2 Years

If she replied, then you're completely out of contact with them.He left you high and dry and you excel at.So, it is vital to getting back with her, especially if it was going absolutely nowhere.This time however, make sure that you are sending her flowers as well.Some of Meghan's friends were at the beginning of the memories that you want it even make the wrong step could be a good time to remember what attracted your ex back, and a new relationship.

Now you need to determine if you are hurting and how they are not desperate and needy.After all, if she made the right one, they forget to shower admiration on him if you could do better and commit to change.And both need some encouragement, just look around you.Writing down several things that you leave them alone for a few weeks setting the right one, they forget to shower admiration on him.Do I need you to lose all control, and beg him to lose your ex back.

You need to do in fact, I heard from my friends about my ex back now then you should probably start to feel comfortable when you're trying to get your ex partner think they secretly want to know more about how to get your girlfriend back?Learn from these and think a poor man or a separation from your ex.This is the personality of a letter that you leave them alone for a bit, wondering when the time to get her back.So, you can make, rather than admiration.Yep, there is one thing you want to do is rush back into a relationship.

If she sees you like to admit that I was wasting my time in conversation.All those begging and pleading for him to leave them alone for some outside advice.Have you ever went out with another woman.See, the one who suggested that Jimmy come with her and see how sorry you are fine with or without them.Going to counseling may help, even if your ex back again?

The reason is always this possibility of confusing love withBe yourself and you're probably looking for a change.If you do to get back together again - great isn't it!They wish in their face with texts or Facebook messages is a doused flame this present day.Just the opposite, when you lose your girl, here are a lot of heartbroken people make the first place and what she will realise that both of you will only make her run back to their apartment.

You can't just fall for you back any time with your life, then maybe these tips will help him to meet other people.You could be putting all your fault, and that is not very easy but when it comes to relations and patch ups.You don't have to calm down, every woman is different.We all have to make your life has moved on and last, but not impossible.This can seem like a quivering bowl of jelly inside.

Get My Ex Back Long Distance

#If My Ex Owes Back Child Support Easy And Cheap Unique Ideas #How To Win A Stubborn Ex Back

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3one3 · 7 years ago

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The Sequel - 889

Eden Hazard Can Really Hurt You

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Do you know why Eden is asking Schü if you’re back with Lex?”

“Does anyone know why Eden does things?”

“Well did you mention her, or see her or something?”

“No.”

“Sure?”

“Yes. You sound like a paranoid and untrusting girlfriend right now. Why?”

“I’m not. It’s just weird. Why would he ask him about it out of the blue?”

“I don’t know. Ask Eden.”

“K”

“Why do you care why he asked if I’m telling you it’s not true?”

“I don’t.”

“Sure.”

“Are you seeing someone else, other than Lex?”

“No. You don’t trust me?”

“Of course I do, but I’ve told you so many times that you can do whatever you want, so...It wouldn’t be like you were doing something wrong.”

“And I’ve told you I don’t want anyone else.”

“Ok. I’m sorry. It was just weird.”

“What’s wrong, pretty girl?” André asked his forlorn looking wife after he let the dogs out. She looked all distant and vaguely upset again on the couch, like earlier in the barn. He lifted up her blanket to get back under it.

“Nothing. Can you just- Can you ask Eden why he was asking you about Juan and Lex?” Christina grimaced. “I know you don’t wanna hear that I’m now obsessing over that, but I have to be honest, and-“

“It’s okay.” He inhaled deeply through his nose, which made a rather loud sound. “We can talk about anything. Always. He didn’t really ask me about him and Lex. He asked me if I recognized some girl Juan talked to at a club last night, and then mentioned that he thought he was back with Lex before.”

“Oh.” Christina’s face fell, and she looked even more forlorn than before. I don’t know who I’m more disappointed in right now. Juan might be hiding something, maybe, and this one could have told me this bit of information that he knows I am definitely interested in.

“Okay, before you get all upset with everyone, consider the source,” the footballer warned encouragingly. He put his arm around her head and kissed her temple with the side of his mouth. “Eden never knows what he’s talking about, and guys talk to girls in nightclubs. It just happens. Especially when you’re the only single guy there. Girls come up to you and they’re all sweet, or seductive, or fawning for you. You can’t get upset because Juan conversed with a woman, and you can’t be mad at me for not telling you that Juan did something you can’t get upset about.”

“But-“

“But it hurts you when someone who says you’re special so much as acknowledges the existence of another woman- got it.” André nodded and squeezed her head tighter. This is a bizarre thing. I’m here consoling her like her gay best friend, because she’s brokenhearted over another guy. How did our lives get like this?

“I just- I need to go make a phone call...”

“Yeah. Of course. Tell him I said hi.”

Christina gave him an apologetic peck on the cheek as soon as she was released from the headlock, and then hurried down the hall to the study as fast as her ouchy ankle would take her. She dialed Juan as soon as her butt hit the window seat cushion.

“Yeees?” the Spaniard sighed over the line, clearly having expected her call.

“Don’t get mad at me. I’m not doubting you. I just need an explanation.”

“I can’t explain another person’s ac-“

“Not for Eden. He asked Schü about the girl you were talking to at whatever club you all went to last night. He just mentioned the Lex thing for context, I guess.”

“And you want to know who the girl is.”

“Yes. And if you took her home with you and if she now knows your tongue is as good as your left foot.” Christina cracked jokes when she was nervous. Christina cracked jokes when she thought humor could get her out of trouble. Christina thought her best friend was rightfully going to be furious with her for asking those questions.

“Her name is Jenni, she did not come home with me, and I have no idea how she feels about my tongue. I can tell you I don’t feel good about you losing your mind because you heard I spoke to a girl.” Juan’s response was measured. It was angry, and impatient for sure, but measured. He didn’t lash out, or sigh, or make disgusted sounds. He also didn’t go on to lecture her about what her reaction said about their relationship. He just left it hanging there. She almost couldn’t help herself. She had to dig her hole deeper.

“Did you want her to go home with you? Do you like her?”

“Chris!”

“I’m sorry,” she groaned. Spencer noticed her in the window and was hopping around on the patio on just the other side of the flowerbed under it, trying to get her attention. It wasn’t working. Her mind was fixed on something else, immovably. “I’m jealous. Okay? I’m jealous. I love you and you’re mine and no matter how many times I say you can go fall in love with someone else I obviously don’t want you to do that ever. I’m sorry. I’m a terrible person. I’m the worst. I’m insanely jealous. I’m also so mad at him for not telling me this, and at the same time I feel terrible for letting him see how jealous I am because somebody else talked to a girl. Ugh. I am the worst.”

“Are you drunk?”

“High, I think. I took one of the prescription pain meds for my ankle.”

“Ahhhhhh. That explains it,” the Chelsea man said with an audible smile on the end of his sigh. Christina didn’t know if he was amused by her inability to tolerate serious drugs or by her serious jealousy.

“It still hurts. And I decided to retire Nicky Tater Tots in March. And Dortmund is awful- the team I mean, not the city. Everything sucks and you shouldn’t talk to girls.”

“He told me he wasn’t going to let you take those things anymore.”

“Pharma Schü only dispenses them in extreme circumstances.”

“He shouldn’t give them to you at all.”

“I’m just being silly because I was, like, panicked.” Well this is embarrassing. I tried to cover up the anxiety attack over him flirting with someone and now he thinks I’m under the influence. Great.

“Okay,” Juan yawned.

“What are you doing?”

“Watching television.”

“I showed Lukas the Marvel dog costumes you sent me and he wants Spencer and Lucky to go to the Halloween party with him as Iron Man and Captain America. I had to pay like a gagillion Euros to have them shipped second-day.”

“What is he going to be?”

“I talked him into being a baby dragon. He likes the little wings. I think he thinks it’s actually a dinosaur costume, but whatever.”

“Did you decide which season Daenerys you want to be?”

“Season 7, badass Daenerys with the pointy shoulders and black outfit. I tried to convince Schü to be Jamie Lannister but he wasn’t having it. He’s with the team for Halloween anyway.”

“Did you end up buying the expensive wig?”

“Yes. I’m going to bring it to Doha with me and we’re gonna role-play,” Christina teased, finally feeling like the tension was gone from the conversation. Her friend’s voice was back to normal, without lingering traces of irritation, and she felt less anxious too. They’d been discussing Halloween costumes for a week because he saw a kid on the street in London in really realistic, correct Scuderia Ferrari overalls just like Sebastian and Kimi’s and then went on an Internet hunt to find the suit and suggest it to Christina for Lukas, to go with his battery powered Ferrari. He couldn’t find the exact suit, but he did stumble across the dog costumes, advertised on some pups that looked just like Spencer and Lucky, so he sent those to her just for fun. She wanted Spencer, Lucky, and Lukas to be her three baby dragons, since she was going to be Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons. The two-thirds of the family was going to a community party and trick-or-treating thing in Marco’s neighborhood. A bunch of André’s other teammates lived there too.

“I’m never fucking you in a wig.”

“Party pooper.”

“Can I go now?”

“Yes. Sorry about before.”

“Goodnight, cariña. Te quiero.”

“Love you too. Byyyyye.”

Christina returned to the couch. André asked her if everything was as it should be. She said it was. He then asked her to let the dogs back in. She did. Then she announced that she was actually going to bed, and he waffled on what to do in response. His first instinct was to talk to Juan and find out what the deal was. She didn’t actually mention what was said about the Jenni girl, or Juan’s conduct, or how she felt about it. In retrospect, asking her if everything was as it “should be” was a foolish question. Christina could have been literally truthful in her answer and theoretically lying. She might have thought the Spaniard should be able to flirt with other girls, or hook up with them, or even begin a relationship, so if he did any of that then it was appropriate for her to answer “yes” even if she were hugely upset about it and didn’t want him to do any of those things. The player wished he’d just asked her how she felt about whatever was discussed on the phone. He thought of following her to bed and just being extra nice to her in case she was upset, or in case she could be indirectly persuaded to explain the situation. He also thought of just giving her space. Her ankle hurt a lot, she had a busy day, the decision to begin planning Nick’s retirement was an immense weight on her, and she’d been running around trying to keep everyone in the family happy despite things like fish deaths, criminally inept football, unwelcome transfer rumors, a brother’s refusal to commit to a visit, and in-laws who wanted to spend more time with their grandson. In the end, he didn’t really choose. He simply stopped trying to decide, and stayed in the living room.

Christina couldn’t sleep. She wanted to text Juan, not about anything specific, just to chat, but she got a “leave me alone” vibe from him on the phone before. Like her, he needed alone time to do nothing too, and he was historically very turned off by her interrogations and distrust, so she didn’t want to dig her hole any deeper with him. She tried browsing Instagram, playing games on her phone, reading, TV, and even masturbating, which she couldn’t get into. Nothing put her to sleep. The rider gave up and texted her husband downstairs to see if he was coming to bed soon. Rather than write her back, he put the house to sleep and went up to talk face to face.

“Were you waiting for me?” he questioned with his typical look of mild confusion. “Was I supposed to come soon?” Christina shook her head on her pillow. It was all he could see of her, but it was evident from the state of all the other pillows and much of the blanket that she hadn’t been sleeping for the hour or so since she said goodnight.

“I can’t sleep,” his girl frowned.

“Juan?”

“Not really.”

“Nick?”

“Not really.”

“Aidan?”

“Okay you’re making it sound like I’m having relationships with a lot of dudes, boyfriend.”

“One is a horse and one is your brother!” André laughed a little, reassured that he didn’t mess up or miss a cue in not initially following her to bed earlier. He ambled over to her side of the mattress and sat on the edge to give her a kiss once she turned over. “Why can’t you sleep, Prinzessin?” he asked in his Sweet Husband voice.

“I don’t know. I tried everything. I even tried my fingers but my vagina is like a desert right now.” Christina tried out Poor Wife, but was hit with a pang of guilt the second she successfully beamed misery from her eyes. “Are you upset that I cared if Juan talked to a girl? I was really inconsiderate of how you’d feel about that.”

“No. I expect as much. I don’t think I’d be okay with your relationship with him if you didn’t care enough about him to have that reaction. I mean, it’s not pleasant for me, but it’s not a big deal. Don’t let that keep you up,” the player stressed with brows pinched for emphasis. His hand rubbing her hip over the comforter felt honest. It wasn’t an empty gesture. I’m grateful that we’re back to where I can tell he’s being real with me just from the weight of his palm, she reflected. We used to talk at each other and step on each other and just keep getting it so fucking wrong. It was like we spoke different languages and knew nothing of each other’s body language either. “Is it that situation that’s keeping you up? You can say,” André added encouragingly. He wasn’t so sure of his ability to hear and read her. “I don’t want him to do things that hurt or upset you either, believe it or not.”

“I believe it, actually.” A little grin made her face look a lot less unhappy and plagued to him. “Are you ready for sleepy time or are you just visiting?”

“Depends. Are you inviting me into the bed to hydrate your desert vagina or-“

“No I just think I have a better chance of falling asleep on you than by myself.”

“Can I brush my teeth and everything or is this an emergency?”

“You may,” Christina nodded. He’s so sweet. Sometimes he gives me those awkward I-wish-he-could-be-my-dad feels I don’t know how to address. Sometimes he takes care of me and he has the loving, dad-like quality in his voice, and in his face too, even. I guess what you do when a guy gives you dad feels is have a kid with him so that you can see him behave like a dad but you can still sleep with him and stuff. Ugh maybe Juanin is right. I shouldn’t take those painkillers. She reached down to rectify a wedgie situation and then waited for her preferred pillow to use the bathroom, brush his teeth, put his shorts and socks away, plug in his phone, fill his water glass, and fluff his regular pillows, which she’d repurposed for herself during her struggles to get to dreamland. He got under the covers and immediately reached over to hug and squeeze her before he was going to get comfortable and prepared to host her in a snuggling capacity.

“You want talking, or just rubbing and petting? Or spoon?”

“Your legs are so hairy,” the filling in his arm and leg taco observed. The outside of his thigh was the only place for her right hand when she found herself squished in the middle of all of his limbs.

“Are they ever not? That part, at least.”

“In the summer when I make you wax.”

“What do you want to have dreams about tonight, pretty girl?” he inquired with his mouth and nose in her freshly shampooed mane. It smelled like lemon. His desire to help her get to sleep, and indeed to have nice dreams when she arrived there, was grounded in a certain relief and satisfaction in the transparency in what unfolded throughout the night. He knew he had to have felt a certain amount of security to be able to say anything at all to her about Juan and Alexis, and then to explain the full context. Not so long in the past, he would have avoided it at all costs, because he would have felt threatened by her reaction. Then Christina was comfortable enough to admit that she needed to go clear up the gaps in the story with Juan rather than keep her anxiety to herself, hidden from her husband for safety’s sake. And she was still forthcoming with the communication after the call, and she was sympathetic to how he could feel about it. The whole episode demonstrated, in André’s view, a comprehensive improvement in the levels of trust and understanding in their marriage.

The fundamentals of the situation were still tough to take- his wife was still in love with another man too, and enough so that she was very upset by literally the rumor of his sharing a conversation with another woman- but that was easier to digest when she wasn’t also lying about it, trying to hide it, pretending, or deflecting, or letting it destroy everything for her and for them. There was a lot less drama surrounding the core issue. André couldn’t do anything about the core issue. He couldn’t make his wife un-love his former teammate. His choice on that was to accept it or walk away. He always felt he could do something about all the nonsense that ruined everything in their relationship though, and it finally felt as if he’d accomplished that, or they’d accomplished it together. Christina’s relationship with Juan was no longer rat poison for her relationship with him. He was finally just getting the benefits of letting her have the arrangement with the Spaniard that she wanted. He got a happier, less stressed, more emotionally fit girl to enjoy sharing his life with, and though he was sure she could be that way without Juan, he was also sure she didn’t believe that, and that it was foolish to keep trying to make her believe it. It felt very, very good to let go of that need to make her believe, and to duly reap the rewards.

“Exotic macaroni and cheese.”

“Exotic?”

“Like smoked Gouda, or a blend of many cheeses...”

“You want to dream about cheese?” the player asked skeptically as he released his strange wife to find a position that offered more long-term comfort.

“Or bread. Bread and cheese. Baguettes and Camembert. With wine, or coffee, even, in a Paris cafe. The kind the locals go to, not tourists. My makeup should be really pretty and effortless- very French- and you should have your sleeves rolled up, and a lovely scarf. And we kiss between every bite of divine bread and cheese, or bread and delicious French butter, and you flirt with your eyes the whole time, and it makes me blush and laugh a lot.” Christina was safely tucked under her favorite gangly arm by the time she was done setting the scene for her dream, and her cheek was resting comfortably on her footballer’s chest. He started thinking about kidnapping her for an overnight in Paris to celebrate his birthday. It was on Monday, and his girl was leaving for Doha on Tuesday. Bayern Munich was due at Signal Iduna Park on Saturday in the early evening. They could use the charter jet to fly after the match and still get to Paris in time for late dessert, spend the night, enjoy the day there together, and come back Sunday evening.

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