#Napoleon film

[aphrostiel]

Napoleon

So despite this film not meeting my expectations, I still enjoyed it and obsessed with the costumes and visuals of it, I think that was its strongest aspect, along with the flawless acting from Joaquin and Vanessa, they did amazing with the script they were given 🙏🏻

[trashpoppaea]

Review of Napoleon (2023)

So I saw Napoleon (2023).

eyes glaze over

collapses and melts into a puddle

This is possibly the most soporifically boring, relentlessly mediocre so-called "epic" I have had the misfortune to see.

Plotless, pointless, and devoid of anything approaching characterization, the movie can be best described as reenacted scenes from a wikipedia article about Napoleon as written by the Anti-Jacobin.

The whole thing is suffused with British reactionary propaganda circa 1815. The characterizations are all courtesy of the Anti-Jacobin and Rowlandson’s cartoons. Robespierre is a tyrant, Napoleon is a buffoonish loutish thug, and Josephine is a slut. There’s nothing there. There’s no character arcs, no development. Sure, it’s pretty enough, but it's boring. So, so, so boring.

While watching it, I was frequently in a fugue state, floating over my body, wondering, "what is a movie? is this what they're like now? with no drama, no characters, no arcs, no interest?"

In fact, I didn't watch it: I endured it.

Joaquin Phoenix is awful. He is completely miscast on every conceivable level. Mumbling, monotone, and charmless-- I never for one moment thought I was watching Napoleon-- it only felt like Phoenix's cosplay. He and Vanessa Kirby have so little chemistry they might as well be appearing in different movies. They supposedly have this grand obsession/love story, but this amounts to sitting in the same room staring off in boredom. There's the occasional ridiculous sex scene which is always doggie style with clothes on. But for the most part, Josephine just stands in the rain or stares off into the mist.

Oh yeah there's the occasional battle. Eh…

Napoleon’s life was filled with colorful characters like the foppish, extravagant and brave Murat, the bold and foul-mouthed Lannes, the scheming, irrepressible Fouche, and the bubbly nymphomaniac Pauline, none of whom are here, and you have a bunch of interchangeable extras standing around rooms or battlefields. The only character who makes any impression whatsoever is Edouard Philipponnat as Czar Alexander, and I would have rather had a movie starring this actor. Alas, that's not what we got.

A lot of money was spent on this movie. A lot of choices were made. The result was a bland, forgettable dud that immediately fell into a memory hole as soon I departed the theatre.

As Napoleon himself would say, BAH!

PS. @microcosme11 and I didn't watch the entire thing, because it is 2 hours and 40 minutes long. As all the restaurants in the neighborhood were closing at 10, we left half an hour early, right before Waterloo and after Josephine died of pneumonia, so we could have burgers and a richly deserved beer.

PPS. Feel free to ask me for specifics!

@thiswaycomessomethingwicked @lordansketil @joachimnapoleon @usergreenpixel @twice-told-tales @josefavomjaaga @bunniesandbeheadings @jefflion

[usergreenpixel]

Guys, I didn’t manage to endure watching that “Napoleon” thing. Lasted for about 45 minutes or so before my ears and head had enough of the blasting noises at the movie theater. To be honest, my head still hurts a bit.

And… so far I haven’t managed to understand SHIT of the plot and I can’t even describe the characters in terms of what they are about. So anyone with no prior knowledge of the context would be even more confused than I was.

Also… Robespierre looked like Danton for some reason… and gave a speech that is an amalgamation of all the Frev propaganda… but at least he didn’t accuse the queen of incest…

I really don’t understand the point of Frev scenes. Napoleon wasn’t there to witness the death of Marie Antoinette and I’m pretty sure he didn’t have a front row seat for Thermidor either, so I wish there wasn’t that much screen time related to the bullet points of Frev, so to speak.

And yeah, everyone has said it before me, but Napoleon is lacking expression to the point that Moai 🗿 would seem expressive compared to him!

Honestly, I highly doubt it gets better afterwards so yeah… don’t watch this shit. I will make a proper review, most likely, but I guess I will need to watch it on streaming sites for that. Oh well!

[onlandandonsea]

[daughterofdessalines]

We cannot say we are against gen0cide globally .. but celebrate a holiday with gen0cidal roots by supporting a film romanticizing colonizer who was the architect of gen0cide…

[sunsolii]

The hype over the trailer inspired me to make my own posters! I made two cuz I couldn't decide what idea to go for. Let me know which one's your favorite!

[boneyagainsttheworld]

NAPOLEON BY RIDLEY SCOTT

[sahinduzgunart]

NAPOLEON (2023) by SahinDüzgün

[living-history-lesson]

I can't make this up. Evony has am ad campaign based on or partnered wirh the napoleon film. And its running on tumblr. Napoleon is back to empire building ig

[deadpresidents]

I don't care what anyone else thinks: Ridley Scott + Joaquin Phoenix + Napoleon? If this movie is nine hours long, it'll be too short.

[empirearchives]

I’m just glad that someone told him about the age problem lol

[universalambients]

The Battle of the Pyramids (1798) Ambient Music

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

As much as I liked the first Alien movie, after reading about how Ridley Scott responded to critics and historians about his Napoleon movie, he’s fallen off for me. If the historians are saying these details are wrong and your response is, “Fuck historical accuracy in my movie that’s about a well known historical figure”, then you’ve lost the plot. And then having the nerve to dismiss French critics for not liking a movie about one of their country’s most famous historical figures, seriously?

(Unless his goal was to do something along the lines of Inglourious Basterds, which I doubt was the case)

[jeandejard3n]

Napoleon In Egypt

[tonyrossmcmahon]

Napoleon - plotting an invasion of Ireland?

Napoleon plotted an invasion of Ireland on several occasions as a way to weaken Britain as TV historian Tony McMahon discovers

Britons were terrified at the prospect of being overrun by Napoleon and his invincible army. Would he arrive in an armada of hot air balloons or tunnel under the English channel? Worse, might the canny Corsican launch an invasion of Ireland? Entering Britain via the back door! The Irish certainly hoped so. From the 1790s, they conducted secret negotiations in Paris. Surely the new revolutionary…

[forwhomtheteasteeps]

The problem with the new Napoleon movie is that he looks like an old man telling you to get off his lawn, instead of a young charismatic commander informing you that actually your land is his now so please get off his lawn.

It’s the principle of the thing