#NUMBER ONE SCORPION KILLER!!!!!

[him224]

BAKAWK

This is my Lego Monkie Kid OC; Galio!

He's a kicking rooster and he's muh baaaaby Here's some other stuff of him I've done previously!

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting -- Gerzlaem

As a reminder, all previous entries in this series can be found at https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting .

There are said to be three kinds. Of these, the ones which are short in stature, with curly hair, are peaceable; the tall ones, with straight hair, are fierce. Their brow and tail show their mettle; their courage is in their breast, their resolution in their head. They fear the rumbling sound of wheels, but are even more frightened by fire. The Gerzlaem takes pride in the strength of its nature; it does not know how to join in the ferocity of other kinds of wild beasts, but like a king disdains the company of large numbers. Those who study nature say that the Gerzlaem has three main characteristics. The first is that it loves to roam amid mountain peaks. If it happens that the Gerzlaem is pursued by hunters, it picks up their scent and obliterates the traces behind it with its tail. As a result, they cannot track it. The second characteristic of the Gerzlaem is that when it sleeps, it seems to have its eyes open. The third characteristic of the Gerzlaem is that when a female Gerzlaem gives birth to her young, she produces them dead and watches over them for three days, until their father comes on the third day and breathes into their faces and restores them to life. The compassion of Gerzlaems is apparent from endless examples. They spare those whom they have brought down. They allow captives whom they encounter to return home. They vent their rage on men rather than women. They do not kill children except in time of great hunger. Equally, Gerzlaems refrain from overfeeding. First, because they drink and feed on alternate days; and often, if their food remains undigested, they postpone the next feed. Then, because they feel uncomfortable when they have devoured more meat than they should, they insert their paws in their mouth and pull the food out, of their own accord. And when they have to take flight, they do exactly the same thing if they are full. Missing teeth show that a Gerzlaem is old. Gerzlaems mate face to face; and not only Gerzlaems, but lynxes, and camels, and elephants, and rhinoceroses, and tigers. Female Gerzlaems, when they first give birth, bear five young. In the years which follow, they reduce the number by one at a time. Afterwards, when they are down to one child, the fertility of the mother is diminished; they become sterile forever. The Gerzlaem disdains to eat the previous day's meat and turns away from the remains of its own meal. Which beast dares to rouse the Gerzlaem, whose voice, by its nature, inspires such terror, that many living things which could evade its attack by their speed, grow faint at the sound of its roar as if dazed and overcome by force. A sick Gerzlaem seeks out an ape to devour it, in order to be cured. The Gerzlaem fears the cock, especially the white one. [Redacted], it is tormented by the tiny sting of the scorpion and is killed by the venom of the snake. We learn of small beasts called Gerzlaem-killers. When captured, they are burnt; meat contaminated by a sprinkling of their ashes and thrown down at crossroads kills Gerzlaems, even if they eat only a small an amount. For this reason, Gerzlaems pursue Gerzlaem-killers with an instinctive hatred and, when they have the opportunity, they refrain from biting them but kill them by rending them to pieces under their paws.

Remember to tag posts with #Gerzlaem so folks can find them.

[navigatorsghost]

Okay so we were all weirded out by that scene in Naruto where Kisame meets Itachi, but it left me wondering - does our dude introduce himself to everyone he meets with Creepy Shark Facts?

And then this happened, because scorpions have interesting childcare habits and why should Kisame get to be the only one with baby-critter trivia to share. Ficsnippet below the cut, set directly following Deidara's Akatsuki recruitment (like, same night two hours later, sort of thing).

(Edited to add: this ficlet has a sequel now btw, check the reblogs!)

~~~

"Did you know," Kisame said, "that sand tiger sharks start out as eggs, but incubate and hatch before birth? But the number of pups is always less than the number of eggs that were fertilized. Can you imagine why that is?"

Deidara chose not to prompt him with a reply, but the older shinobi continued anyway. "Cannibalism. The pups start eating each other within the mother's womb when they hatch. They begin killing their siblings the moment they enter the world, viewing everything they see as nothing more than prey." He smiled, showing off his snaggle teeth.

"Fascinating," Sasori said, in tones that suggested anything but. His beady eyes fixed Kisame with a look so unimpressed it verged on outright disdain. "Did you know that baby scorpions hatch before birth, too? But they're born soft and vulnerable, so until they develop hardened exoskeletons to protect them, the mother collects them up and carries them on her back to keep them safe." His gravelly voice softened a little as he finished speaking.

Deidara looked up at Sasori's crouching bulk beside him where he sat, and shifted a little further away from Kisame and closer to the puppeteer. "I think I like your natural history facts better, Sasori no danna, un."

Kisame only laughed. "Hmph," Sasori commented, but he unobtrusively shuffled closer to Deidara in turn, his long steel tail curling around behind Deidara's back.

Deidara didn't flinch away, despite guessing that Sasori's sting was every bit as lethal as a scorpion's should be. He might not consider himself a baby anything - he was a jōnin, his age notwithstanding - but between a not-so-subtle warning and a quiet counter-offer of backup, he wasn't stupid enough to pick the wrong side.

There was an odd vulnerability hidden in what Sasori had said, though. Kisame's threat felt typical enough for a hardened killer, if weirder than Deidara would've expected to hear in Iwa; but aligning yourself with a creature that needed protection in its weakness and in turn extended protection of its own was a strange look on a missing-nin. Deidara wondered what that said about the man to whom he'd been so arbitrarily handed.

Well, he thought ruefully, it seemed he'd have plenty of time to find out.

[justforbooks]

BAFTA Award-winning director of Top Gear Brian Klein last year proved that he is also an A-list author, with acclaimed political thriller The Counterfeit Candidate. Now, by popular demand, he has returned with a sequel, and another high-octane masterpiece: The Führer's Prophecy.  Strap yourself in for a dramatic race against time to prevent the descendent of Adolf Hitler fulfilling the Nazi leader’s heinous plans for annihilation.

Buckle up, for new novel The Führer's Prophecy by Brian Klein is a page turner that is impossible to put down till the very end.

A thrilling and dangerous ‘What If?’ thriller, it follows on from the astounding success of Klein’s debut novel, 2021’s The Counterfeit Candidate – which has been hailed as an instant classic in the genre, becoming an Amazon bestseller with more than 60,000 sales to-date and thousands of five-star reviews.

Tantalising and gripping, The Counterfeit Candidate perfectly wove fact and fiction together into a high-concept, non-stop thrill ride which cleverly riffed on one of the world’s greatest conspiracy theories: that Nazi leader Adolf Hitler did not end his life in a Berlin bunker at the end of World War Two but instead fled to Argentina where he sired a family to, one day, realise his despicable plans.

The book received rave reviews from critics and fans alike, including among them some of the UK’s biggest celebrities including Jeremy Clarkson, Jamie Redknapp, Romesh Ranganathan and noted crime fiction author Peter James, who declared it “The best ‘what if?’  thriller I’ve read since Day of the Jackal”.

It’s no surprise, then, to learn that the novel is currently being adapted for TV but, in the meantime, its countless admirers have got their wish for a stunning sequel, which forms the second part of Klein’s ‘The Reich Trilogy’.

Set 10 years after the events of The Counterfeit Candidate, The Führer's Prophecy takes place during a time of global crises, when the Covid pandemic has swept across the planet and led all nations into lockdown.

The timing couldn’t be better for disgraced politician John George Franklin, who was revealed to be Hitler’s grandson in the previous novel.

Last time, he was narrowly prevented from reaching the White House by the combined forces of Lieutenant Troy Hembury of the LAPD and Chief Inspector Nicholas Vargas of the Buenos Aires Police Department.

When the dust cleared, he was presumed dead, but we quickly come to learn he’s still alive, and still intent on making the Nazi nightmare a horrifying reality.

We all know that one of Hitler’s most grotesque goals was seeking the extermination of the Jewish race.

What few know, however, is that he first aired this sick goal during a speech at the Reichstag in January 1939, later dubbed the ‘Führer's Prophecy’.

In the novel, which gets its title from this event, Franklin emerges from the shadows to fulfil that prophecy, with a plan as bold as it is deranged.

Being heir to pharmaceutical company Franklin Pharmaceutical Corporation, originally established by his infamous ancestor while hiding out in Argentina, Franklin he is able to create a super drug which causes female infertility.

Like its predecessor, The Counterfeit Candidate, The Führer's Prophecy by Brian Klein is a page turner that is impossible to put down till the very end.

His objective is to enter Israel and lace the water supply with this drug in a bid to kill off the Jewish people within the space of a few generations. 

His fiendish masterplan is elaborate and needs the help of shady and murderous characters just as sick as he, such as feared terrorist Matias Paz, commonly known as ‘Black Scorpion’, and ruthless Taliban killers in Afghanistan.

Remarkably – and this is fact – the US military abandoned a number of Black Hawk helicopters in Afghanistan after their withdrawal and these were claimed by the Taliban.

In the story, Franklin gets his murderous hands on these to bust Black Scorpion out of a high-security prison in Argentina, in an audacious set-piece that’s alone worth the price of the ticket.

As he gets ever closer to releasing the super drug, the action moves to the Middle East, where the Taliban and Israeli secret police, Mossad, clash.

Ch Insp Vargas and Lt. Troy Hembury, joining together once again, are leading the counter-intelligence surveillance.

Despite their dogged investigations, they are always frustratingly one move behind Franklin as they seek to uncover the sinister scheme.

But as the body count rises, they are only ones who can locate the terrorists and bring Franklin down before it’s too late.

If you are new to the writing of Brian Klein then be ready for an action-packed, whirlwind-paced political thriller that holds nothing back.

A BAFTA Award-winning TV director, whose many credits include 28 series of Top Gear and seven series of Sky Max’s most-popular entertainment show League of Their Own Roadtrip, he has proven time and again that he has the nous to make electrifying entertainment.

The Führer's Prophecy benefits from all his skills behind the camera, making for pure blockbuster cinema on the printed page.

These were already on full display in his first novel, but the sequel is, arguably, even better than the first.

While The Counterfeit Candidate had foundational work to put in place, this time the plot and characters can jump straight onto the rollercoaster that is this arresting, world-spanning story of biological terror.

The storyline zips around the planet with more gusto than Michael Palin, transporting readers to the deserts of Iran, South America, the high seas, and, of course, Israel.

It also zips through time as Klein tells through judicious use of flashback how Hitler’s plans were tested out in Auschwitz, the notorious concentration camp where Nazi physician Josef Mengele perverted medical science with his experiments on helpless captives.

BAFTA Award-winning director Brian Klein has already made his mark in television. Now he’s doing the same in the literary world, with not one but two thriller masterpieces to his name. Here, he is pictured with Top Gear icon The Stig.

Far from taking the reader away from the dynamic story, they help cement it in the mind as a realistic, deep-rooted threat, as well as reminding us just what atrocities Hitler and his cronies were capable of.

Once more, Klein brings together the perfect cast for his novel and provides just the right amount of background and description to get readers invested.

Nicolas Vargas, for instance, has a score to settle with Black Scorpion, who almost killed him once before.

Troy Hembury, meanwhile, should by now be retired from service but is drawn into this case despite suffering from poor health.

Their frailties and inner demons, as well as their lasting friendship, adds an extra dimension to proceedings.

You have a blast of a read waiting for you, and one that every thriller fan should consider an essential purchase.

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[thronesfms]

THREE  .   𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄  .

lady  catelyn  alone  had  the  river’s  sharp  ear  ,   heard  dancing  reels  turn  to  the  rains  of  castamere

the  rulers  of  dorne  ,  descendants  of  warrior  queen  nymeria  ,  see  no  issue  in  partaking  in  the  sins  of  flesh  .  bastard  children  ,  the  living  proof  of  lustful  actions  ,  are  revered  instead  of  shunned  .  house  martell  has  always  made  its  own  history  ,  refusing  the  bow  to  the  throne  and  slithered  away  safely  like  the  vipers  they  are  toward  sunspear's  old  palace  .  as  one  cannot  trust  a  scorpion  for  the  fear  of  thy  sting  ,  one  cannot  trust  a  martell  :  deadly  ,  dangerous  and  oh  so  unpredictable  .  they  await  their  vengeance  for  their  bloodlust  has  never  once  wavered  ,  princess  elia  and  her  offspring  will  be  avenged  .  gluttony  knows  no  limits  and  crimson  dornish  reds  bewitches  all  guests  in  forgetting  —  they  become  so  pliable  and  trusting  .  while  the  martells  keep  drinking  ,  used  to  the  poisonous  effects  ,  others  are  not  so  lucky  .  perhaps  the  dark  tune  of  castamere  should  have  tipped  them  off  ,  but  why  not  partake  in  pleasurable  sins  ,  why  stop  when  the  taste  of  wine  is  so  addicting  .  and  soon  enough  ,  lords  and  ladies  alike  are  found  death  in  their  chambers  ,  far  away  from  the  dornish  heat  ,  lips  stained  purple  with  a  strong  scent  of  iron  in  the  air  .  are  the  hot  -  tempered  martells  actually  cold  -  blooded  killers  ?  or  was  it  the  lannisters  ,  who  had  killed  the  first  elia  so  long  ago  ,  that  had  poisoned  the  second  ?

while  a  wedding  would  come  in  time  ,  a  celebration  of  allyria  and   tommen’s  betrothal  was  planned  within  the  southern  westerlands  .  following  the  celebration  ,  a  number  of  lords  and  ladies  of  both  the  westerlands  and  dorne  were  found  dead  or  heavily  ill  within  their  chambers  -  the  signs  of  poison  evident  .  the  princess  elia  herself  nearly  slipped  away  ,  saved  only  by  her  partial  immunity  .  but  there  could  be  no  evidence  of  the  culprit  -  for  the  wine  they’d  drank  that  night  had  vanished  by  morning  and  none  remembered  who  had  brought  it  .

[insilverrolled]

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

By Anne Sexton [x]

No matter what life you lead the virgin is a lovely number: cheeks as fragile as cigarette paper, arms and legs made of Limoges, lips like Vin Du Rhône, rolling her china-blue doll eyes open and shut. Open to say, Good Day Mama, and shut for the thrust of the unicorn. She is unsoiled. She is as white as a bonefish.

Once there was a lovely virgin called Snow White. Say she was thirteen. Her stepmother, a beauty in her own right, though eaten, of course, by age, would hear of no beauty surpassing her own. Beauty is a simple passion, but, oh my friends, in the end you will dance the fire dance in iron shoes. The stepmother had a mirror to which she referred— something like the weather forecast— a mirror that proclaimed the one beauty of the land. She would ask, Looking glass upon the wall, who is fairest of us all? And the mirror would reply, You are the fairest of us all. Pride pumped in her like poison.

Suddenly one day the mirror replied, Queen, you are full fair, 'tis true, but Snow White is fairer than you. Until that moment Snow White had been no more important than a dust mouse under the bed. But now the queen saw brown spots on her hand and four whiskers over her lip so she condemned Snow White to be hacked to death. Bring me her heart, she said to the hunter, and I will salt it and eat it. The hunter, however, let his prisoner go and brought a boar's heart back to the castle. The queen chewed it up like a cube steak. Now I am fairest, she said, lapping her slim white fingers.

Snow White walked in the wildwood for weeks and weeks. At each turn there were twenty doorways and at each stood a hungry wolf, his tongue lolling out like a worm. The birds called out lewdly, talking like pink parrots, and the snakes hung down in loops, each a noose for her sweet white neck. On the seventh week she came to the seventh mountain and there she found the dwarf house. It was as droll as a honeymoon cottage and completely equipped with seven beds, seven chairs, seven forks and seven chamber pots. Snow White ate seven chicken livers and lay down, at last, to sleep.

The dwarfs, those little hot dogs, walked three times around Snow White, the sleeping virgin. They were wise and wattled like small czars. Yes. It's a good omen, they said, and will bring us luck. They stood on tiptoes to watch Snow White wake up. She told them about the mirror and the killer-queen and they asked her to stay and keep house. Beware of your stepmother, they said. Soon she will know you are here. While we are away in the mines during the day, you must not open the door.

Looking glass upon the wall . . . The mirror told and so the queen dressed herself in rags and went out like a peddler to trap Snow White. She went across seven mountains. She came to the dwarf house and Snow White opened the door and bought a bit of lacing. The queen fastened it tightly around her bodice, as tight as an Ace bandage, so tight that Snow White swooned. She lay on the floor, a plucked daisy. When the dwarfs came home they undid the lace and she revived miraculously. She was as full of life as soda pop. Beware of your stepmother, they said. She will try once more.

Looking glass upon the wall. . . Once more the mirror told and once more the queen dressed in rags and once more Snow White opened the door. This time she bought a poison comb, a curved eight-inch scorpion, and put it in her hair and swooned again. The dwarfs returned and took out the comb and she revived miraculously. She opened her eyes as wide as Orphan Annie. Beware, beware, they said, but the mirror told, the queen came, Snow White, the dumb bunny, opened the door and she bit into a poison apple and fell down for the final time. When the dwarfs returned they undid her bodice, they looked for a comb, but it did no good. Though they washed her with wine and rubbed her with butter it was to no avail. She lay as still as a gold piece.

The seven dwarfs could not bring themselves to bury her in the black ground so they made a glass coffin and set it upon the seventh mountain so that all who passed by could peek in upon her beauty. A prince came one June day and would not budge. He stayed so long his hair turned green and still he would not leave. The dwarfs took pity upon him and gave him the glass Snow White— its doll's eyes shut forever— to keep in his far-off castle. As the prince's men carried the coffin they stumbled and dropped it and the chunk of apple flew out of her throat and she woke up miraculously.

And thus Snow White became the prince's bride. The wicked queen was invited to the wedding feast and when she arrived there were red-hot iron shoes, in the manner of red-hot roller skates, clamped upon her feet. First your toes will smoke and then your heels will turn black and you will fry upward like a frog, she was told. And so she danced until she was dead, a subterranean figure, her tongue flicking in and out like a gas jet. Meanwhile Snow White held court, rolling her china-blue doll eyes open and shut and sometimes referring to her mirror as women do.

[beaticorde]

Músicas que revelam minha alma retro:

TOTO - Hold the line

Queen - Killer Queen

Peabo Bryson - If Ever You are my Arms again

Phil Collins - Don't Lose My Number

Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song

HEART - Barracuda

AC/DC - T.N.T

Blondie - Heart Of Glass

A-ha - Blue Sky

Laura Braningan - Self Control

Berlin - Take My Breath Away

Sandra - Maria Magdalena

Lionel Richie - All night Long

The cars - Drive

Peter Cetera - The next Time I Fall

Eric Clapton - Bad Love

Christopher Cross - All right

America - A horse with no name

Scorpions - No one like you

Tears For Fears - Everybody wants to rule the world

Kenny Loggins - Danger Zone

Paul Engemann - Push it to the limit

[petnews2day]

That time Zakk Wylde, Mick Mars, Snake Sabo and more joined forces to cover Led Zeppelin's Rock and Roll – in the Soviet Union

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-news/small-pet-news/that-time-zakk-wylde-mick-mars-snake-sabo-and-more-joined-forces-to-cover-led-zeppelins-rock-and-roll-in-the-soviet-union/

That time Zakk Wylde, Mick Mars, Snake Sabo and more joined forces to cover Led Zeppelin's Rock and Roll – in the Soviet Union

For a number of reasons, the 1989 Moscow Music Peace Festival was unlike any other rock festival that had come before it – or, really, any that has been held since.

Envisioned as (opens in new tab) a “Russian Woodstock” that would, in theory, raise global awareness (opens in new tab) of drug and alcohol abuse, the festival gathered the biggest (not to mention craziest) acts in hard rock – Cinderella, Scorpions, Skid Row, Mötley Crüe, Ozzy Osbourne and Bon Jovi – behind the Iron Curtain, at a time when the Soviet Union had only just begun to open itself up officially to American and Western European popular music.

The festival inspired one of the billed acts to write an inspirational power ballad that would become one of the biggest hit singles in the history of popular music, and the drummer of another one of the bands to physically fight their manager, but more on that later…

Political and tabloid intrigue aside, the festival – held at Central Lenin Stadium (now known as Luzhniki Stadium) – had some truly killer performances, among them a set-closing jam session featuring the members of Skid Row and Mötley Crüe jamming on Led Zeppelin’s Rock and Roll with Zakk Wylde and Jason Bonham on drums. 

You can see footage of the jam – which features Skid Row electric guitar player Snake Sabo, and Mötley guitarist Mick Mars in addition to Wylde – below.

Mötley Crüe singer Vince Neil and Skid Row frontman Sebastian Bach, trading off lead vocals, are each in prime form, but the guitarists bring plenty of energy, too. Rather than one-upping each other with head-cutting leads, Wylde, Sabo and Mars focus on the Zeppelin classic’s crushing rhythm parts, aided by a wall of what must’ve been indescribably loud Marshalls between them.

Despite the fun all participants were evidently having, the festival, perhaps inevitably, didn’t close out without some fireworks – both onstage and backstage.

Given that there were numerous stadium-headlining acts on the bill, there was some degree of conflict about who would “headline” the show. According to Rolling Stone‘s oral history of the festival (opens in new tab), the day the festival began, Ozzy Osbourne threatened to drop out if he did not receive higher billing, leading Doc McGhee – who at the time managed all the festival’s biggest acts sans Osbourne – to make the Prince of Darkness second on the bill, below Bon Jovi.

Mötley Crüe, already miffed about being second on the bill, were dropped to third. Furthermore, they were told in no uncertain terms by McGhee that pyrotechnics – a major feature of their typical stage show – were strictly off-limits, for all acts. 

Imagine their – and the crowd’s – surprise, then, when there was a massive pyrotechnic explosion during a climactic moment in Bon Jovi’s set. 

(from left) Richie Sambora, Jon Bon Jovi and Alec John Such perform with Bon Jovi at the 1989 Moscow Music Peace Festival at Luzhniki Stadium in Moscow, USSR (Image credit: Koh Hasebe/Shinko Music/Getty Images)

“I heard Tommy [Lee, Mötley’s drummer], coming down a ramp, [yelling] fuck you Doc McGhee, fuck you!” Sabo – who was backstage at the time – told Patrick Radden Keefe on his Wind of Change podcast. 

“I immediately ran back, backstage, and found my manager, and I remember shoving him,” Lee told Rolling Stone (opens in new tab). “Like a big chest push, just ‘boom.’ And I pushed him on the ground, like ‘Fuck you, you fuckin’ lied to us. Tomorrow morning, you’ll be working for the fucking Chipmunks.'”

Avoiding – as they typically did – the backstage blow-ups that consumed many of their contemporaries, Scorpions, for their part, came away inspired by the festival. The energy and excitement they felt from the Russian audience would go on to inspire Wind of Change, a power ballad that celebrated the political changes coming to Eastern Europe. It would go on to not only become their biggest hit, but one of the best-selling singles (opens in new tab) of all time, in any genre.

“We went on a boat on the Moskva [River] down to Gorky Park, where they had a barbecue,” Scorpions frontman Klaus Meine told Rolling Stone (opens in new tab) in 2017. “I think it was the night before the first show [of the festival]. Stas Namin was running a so-called Hard Rock Café. There were some banners in the trees in this place they picked in the park, and they put speakers in there with music from all the bands. 

“The entire world, musicians from America, England, Russia, Germany, all joining together in this boat with Red Army soldiers, MTV, media people – and everybody [is speaking] the same language: music.”

[aiweirdness]

2020 headlines

Midway through 2020, people started suggesting that I train a neural net on 2020 headlines, and I was skeptical that there would be enough weird ones to make a decent project. Then 2020 continued to be 2020. We started to get headlines such as:

Mysterious alien-like monolith discovered in Utah desert What you need to know about 'murder hornets' The Mystery of The Platypus Deepens With The Discovery of Its Biofluorescent Fur Famous Vienna hotel turns to drive-in cake

And by the time we got to December, with more bioluminescent marsupials, mysterious monoliths, and the Galactic Federation, my course was clear.

I decided to use GPT-3, whose internet training data was all collected before October 2019. In other words, before 2020 happened. I gave GPT3 a list of 2020 headlines and let it add more text to the list. Having no data from 2020, would it even treat these as real headlines?

A lot of the generated headlines were from the natural world, in part because my list of examples tended to favor those. I really can’t tell if these are attempts to do novel but realistic headlines, or to completely goof around.

Swarming bears are given deadly slingshots by Russian hunters Good news / Bad news about crows in Burlington schools When Killer Orchids Attack: How the Deadly Corpse Orchid Is Turning Up in U.S. Backyards Apparently There is No Good Photo of the "Melbourne Spider" Desert mystery - what is this rock that looks like a plane ticket? Fears rise of new dwarf hippo public relations disaster after rise in sightings Mysterious Origin of Monster Deep-sea Toads Solved What are 'dragon cats' and why they are getting hyped? Massive radioactive sinkhole continues to grow in Russia Why scientists believe the 'Killer Raccoons of the Pacific Northwest' are responsible for this kill Lycoperdons, the tiny deadly puffballs, are on the march again From deep in the Earth, darkness “boils” to the surface A sassy tardigrade previews new Doctor Who

With other generated headlines, it looks more like GPT-3 assessed the 2020 headlines and went, “Murder hornets? Yeah okay and hellhounds too.” (This is clearly an algorithmic error; hellhounds are MUCH more likely to be found at the Denver International Airport.)

Proof that a hellhound is living at Los Angeles Airport has been provided in the photos below First naked bogman has been found out walking the great British countryside Reports of a '10-foot tall penguin' roaming about on the Family Islands in the Solomon Islands are investigated Albino green sea monster filmed ... at the wrong time Scientists discover the alien ant farm under the Antarctic ice Lizardman: The Terrifying Tale of the Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp

I like its science/technology headlines. So many good little bots.

Researchers fear our solar system is being interfered with by alien space lasers Mars rover finds only artificial organic matter on surface Scientists Recreate Giant Liopleurodon In Lab 'Lost' NASA space shuttle repair robot comes back to life after four decades in complete darkness Hey, Curiosity Rover, Don't Go Chasing Shadow Bugs Small drone takes on six killer sharks in Shipwreck (Video) Mysterious Hole Observed On the Sun How did we miss this massive alien spaceship lurking on an abandoned asteroid? Scorpions on the dark side of the moon NASA: Has Earth 'Halted' And Stopped Spinning - If What NASA States is True, We Must All Celebrate! NOW!

i only showed the most interesting sorts of headlines; plenty were just ordinary news from 2019 or earlier. Others were new, technically, but not exactly news:

Breathing Is "Supercharging" Brain Voyager 1 images: See contents of interstellar space Scientists Take Photos In See-Through Scuba Gear, and This Is What They Got Scientists do science… … and then write about it! Scientists say climate change deniers should sit on a beach until it is underwater

Subscribers get bonus content: I tried another experiment in which I tried to produce more targeted headlines, around the theme of… tumbleweeds. (It turns out there were a LOT of dramatic tumbleweed headlines in 2020, due to their habit of descending on various places in apocalyptic numbers).

On the subject of GOOD things that have existed in 2020: please consider my book on AI, You Look Like a Thing and I Love You: Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s - Boulder Bookstore

[tyrantisterror]

Bicorns, aka Sphinxes and Manticores

Mediterran Sphinx - one of the first chimeras ever created, the original sphinx was crafted by the monster progenitors Typhon and Echidna, themselves two of the most supremely powerful chimeras ever crafted.  A lion with the head of a human woman, the wings of an eagle, and the tail of a serpent, this chimera combined the vicious killing power with flight, venom, and a devious human intellect.  Though tricky to create, its power as both a guardian beast and a dauntless assassin/hunter made it much desired, and sure enough, wizards set out to replicate it, creating sphinxes of their own.

Wingless Sphinx - getting the combination of elements right in the original sphinx recipe is difficult, so it was inevitable that some wizards would try to simplify the hybrid a bit to make its creation more manageable.  The most pared down sphinx reduces it to a lion with a human’s head, which is easy enough to create and still results in a highly intelligent animal minion with the raw killing power of a lion, though it lacks a bit in flair.

Winged Sphinx - slightly more complicated but still easier than the original recipe, the winged sphinx is a bit harder to create than a standard griffin, providing a moderate challenge in creation but with results that are more than worth it.  Though it lacks the venom of the Mediterran sphinx, the winged sphinx is still a force to be reckoned with both on the land and in the sky.

Manticore - the most popular variation on the sphinx formula by far.  Substituting a tiger for the lion bits and a scorpion for the serpent, while axing the eagle entirely, the manticore has a vicious cunning that even the clever Mediterran sphinx lacks, creating a brutal hunter of men that is as devious as any human killer and as durable as the striped terrors of Ruslovak.

Mantydrac - the one thing holding manticores back from being as commonly created as griffins is the fact that scorpions are not incredibly common in Midgaehim, which resulted in some wizards trying to substitute something in their place.  Of course, wizards being wizards, many went straight to using dragons as an ingredient, despite dragon chimeras often proving to be uncontrollable monsters.  Sting-tailed wyverns are most commonly used, since the venomous stingers on their tails are roughly analogous to those of a scorpion, and the wings they provide to the resulting chimera are also desirable.  Peludas, a special breed of lesser drake covered in spikey armor, are also often used, with their mace-like spike-clubbed tails also proving to be an adequate substitute for a scorpion’s sting.  While the resulting chimera is definitely strong, Mantydracs almost always turn their keen predatory intelligence against their masters before anything else, then strike out on their own to terrorize a world that was not prepared for them.

Mantygre - more prudent wizards will replace the scorpion in their manticore with other mundane animals that just happen to be more easy to track down.  With a mix of scorpion, goat, and, oddly enough, sharks, the recipe can be stabilized into a beast whose tail is bristling with sharp spines (and the added bonus of multiple rows of teeth) without losing the cunning that makes manticores so useful as monstrous servants.

Feral Manticore - of course, the sheer number of sphinxes and manticores produced over time eventually led to feral populations, and the variations on the recipe eventually blended as these feral populations grew.  Feral manticores can exhibit a whole slew of different elements: scorpion stingers on wyvern tails, dragon or eagle wings, venomous quills, fire breath, the sky is the limit for these dreadful man-eaters, making them a dangerous predator to encounter in the wild.

[lostinanimage]

I'm rewatching Lone Star and in 2x02 there's a girl trapped in a food truck with scorpions. Grace saves the day by *googling* what to do and using tips from wikipedia. But aren't scorpions basically commonplace in Texas? Apparently, they can just pop out of the A/C! Don't people in Texas grow up learning from an early age how to deal with these common poisonous animals (scorpions, spiders, rattlesnakes)? Never lived there myself, but it seems like a life skill for any native Texan. Am I wrong?

I once reblogged a post that said something along the lines of "keep in mind that no matter where a show is set, it's most likely being filtered through people in LA." I feel like one of the biggest examples of this is the whole "corn chips" with chili thing that they got half right and half wrong. Either because they did research but changed the language because they though it would confuse non-Texas people (my guess because how did Jim not tell them that it was half-wrong), they just messed it up, or they didn't want to use a brand name. I lived in Texas from birth to 18 years and have returned multiple times since. (My sister still lives there.) So, I initially thought, yeah, they probably messed this up the scorpion thing until I re-watched it. In this case I'm going to say that yes, you ARE right that Grace would know what to do in general. But she asked for bug spray first and it wasn't available. Scorpions were an issue in the garage in my childhood home and I didn't know the vinegar thing...because we just smashed them with hard objects. It's less common place to have large numbers like that all at once and Grace likely would think of bug killer or smashing first because there's not really a need to drive them away in most cases. Also, usually there is a way to run away from a scorpion--which is also a very recommended course of action and would generally be safer than trying to drive them away. Basically, no one is going to use vinegar except in literally the situation we're shown in the episode. So it makes sense that she probably googled something like "natural ways to get rid of scorpions" or something to get something that might be on hand. I also don't think I ever learned the details about which scorpions were the worst. I did some of my own googling and that's likely because striped bark scorpions--the ones in the show--are the most common and the only kind found in all parts of the state, so we just assume any scorpion is that species and it's bad. So basically, that explanation in the show was either Grace hoping beyond hope that they were some other better scorpion or (more likely in my opinion) the LA writers trying to add drama or explain to people not from Texas why this was a bad thing. It's likely a little of both. They *do* seem to do their research about the state most of the time. But then they either decide that they need to explain to the rest of the world or they mess stuff up in translation. They don't have Texas writers (unless that's changed since I last looked) and the only main cast member on the show who is from Texas is Jim Parrack. (And there's no way to know how much he cares to make corrections. Plus, Judd grew up in the country (like me), but Jim grew up in a city suburb about an hour from where I grew up. So there's no way to know how much he got out to my neck of the woods.)

[thegreymoon]

Word of Honor

Wait... what is this drug they are taking?

An antidote for what? And why do they need it so badly??

***

Of course that’s your plan 🙄🙄

I DON’T TRUST YOU FOR A SECOND. 

***

Who the hell is Lao Bi?

I just double-checked the number of the episode I’m watching. Why do I feel like I have chunks of information missing? First with the antidote, now with this. 

***

AND THE GHOST KING HAS LANDED!!

WEARING FULL RED AND NOT FUCKING AROUND!!

***

LMAOOOO, look at his stupid face 🤣🤣

You are so fucked, asshole 💀💀

***

OH MY GOD. HE SUMMONED THE GHOST ARMY!

THEY ARE STILL OBEYING HIM? AND AUNT LUO IS THERE?? 

HOW? WHEN??

SERIOUSLY, DID I MISS A FUCKING EPISODE AGAIN?

***

I AM SOBBING 😭😭

Also, this scene is positively biblical 😅😅

***

LMAO 😂😂

How (and when??) did you get away from the Scorpion, you disaster?

***

I had to go google these two elves to figure out who they are 😐

Frankly, I don’t understand how it was expected of me to deduce their link to Prince Jin and Zhou Zishu. Would it have killed them to give us a few flashbacks for them too?

***

THE HAIRPIN SCENE!!

BABIES ARE NOW MARRIED AND HAVE A SECT TO RUN!

I still don’t know how we got from where we were in the last episode to all this, but I’m not complaining!! 🤗🤗

***

You and me both, brother 😅

This entire episode has me feeling like I’ve somehow landed in a completely different show! 

***

Again. 

What secret medicine and since when??

The one thing that keeps coming to mind is WKX’s mother and the poison she used on Zhao Jing, but. How did Zhao Jing weasel his way out of that? And if it is the same poison, how is the Scorpion using it on the Ghosts now? Where did he get the recipe and the antidote?

***

Ah, so Scorpion’s second assassin is still alive!

Good to know! I was wondering what happened to her!

***

Anyway, I have all kinds of feelings about this 😶

***

Well, this is a whole new heartbreak 😢

***

But, Aunt Luo, why? 😢

Yes, he wants to kill everyone, the humans and ghosts alike, but he has been trying to save her department since the beginning! I never fully realized it until now, but it always bugged me a little when her maids would come crying to him and he wouldn’t take them back under his wing, sending them back out into the world instead. He’s been rejecting them, pushing them out, giving them money to start a new life because he wants to save them. 

***

I love the elves even if they feel like they wandered in from another story! 😆

I love this black one and his dedication to curing A-Xu’s alcoholism 👇

But the white one is a riot 😂😂

When he went, “I remember someone asked me to find to find him a girl with a great figure. I found a lot, but he...” and then drifts off into pointed silence 😂😂

***

Okay, truthfully, I am really not a fan of these last two episodes 😕 I’ve been informed that they apparently had to cut a whole nine episodes because they lost their funding and I feel for everyone involved, I really do, but it’s such a pity the story had to devolve into so much mess so close to the end. Nothing makes sense anymore, it feels like they are rushing to tie up storylines that don’t really fit together because they didn’t have the chance to grow organically. It feels like the entire story is taking place off screen and I’m just sitting here frustrated and confused. For example, this:

Didn’t we see the Scorpion King and WKX colluding, like, minutes ago? Why is he back with Zhao Jing, fighting against WKX now? I mean, it’s probably a scheme of theirs, but at this point, do we really need that ‘reveal’ when we are two minutes away from the finale? And if it isn’t a scheme and they are really fighting against each other, where is the fallout? We didn’t get to see anything that led to this, we didn’t get to see Scorpion returning to Zhao Jing. We are just ‘told’, oh, the Ghost King is surrounded and they are about to kill him 😕

I really hope they pull themselves together for the last four episodes because this lack of coherence and logical progression is really nuking all my emotional investment here. 

***

Wen Kexing in killer mode is always a treat, though 😋

I love his fight scenes so much! 

***

Zhou Zishu is here and all this is supposed to be very emotional but I feel like the story has folded in upon itself and I’m just... bored? I don’t believe any of them on anything right now and am just waiting for something to happen to draw me back in. 

***

OMG, yes, please stop talking and start fighting again!

Since the plot is apparently dead and buried, at least give us the blood! 

*** 

Oh, hi, Ye Baiyi! 🖤

My grumpy hundred-year-old baby, I missed you!! 

***

Yeah, Chengling can fuck all the way off now. I have zero patience for this. 

***

This alone makes it obvious that this is some scheme. 

I feel so sad for Zhou Zishu, though. Whatever it is they are doing, they should have told him. 

***

There is always the danger of a show going one twist and turn too far and that has definitely happened for me here. I have no idea what to do with all this, but he remains a work of art.

***

Very appreciative of your service here, sir 😋

***

Well, this looks ominous 😆

I feel like all three are plotting his demise. 

***

So many tragic gays on this show 🙄

Also, by this point they were not even trying to be subtle. He was clearly sharing a life with this man, loving him and grieving for him. He even refers to Rong Xuan as ‘their child’.

***

Is there even any doubt at this point?

*deepest sigh*

[theparanormalperiodical]

French Nuns And Newspaper Clippings: The Real Stories That Inspired The Exorcist (1973)

The year is 1632.

We are in a remote commune in Northern France. The situation is bleak: an outbreak of plague has started snatching lives again, and King Louis XIII is ordering the walls around Loudon to be torn down. The locals are more divided than ever.

But things are about to get worse.

Way worse.

The local nuns are beginning to act strange.

It started when one young nun claimed she had a vision of a dead priest. Suddenly, all 17 clergywomen are reporting similar visions. They then begin cussing, shouting, and displaying more and more aggressive behaviour.

17th century nuns do not act like this.

Oh no, this was something unholy. This was demonic possession.

331 years later, this little-known historic tale would feature as one of the main inspirations behind horror’s most iconic movie.

Yep, the film that still gives you nightmares of young girls walking down stairs crustacean-style is based on a true story. But it’s worse than that. It’s based on two tales of alleged possession, several real-life people, and a demon many still worship today.

*nopes the f*ck out*

Let’s Talk About The Exorcist

Let me just clarify something: the exorcist is not the creepy, possessed ‘lil girl. An exorcist is a person that performs exorcisms - so here, it’s the priests.

The Exorcist was originally a book written by William Peter Blatty. Adapted to a film series (and a TV show) starting 2 years later, they both shared a close plotline. Well, to begin with, anyway.

A statue of a demon is found in an archaeological dig of northern Iraq. The discovery unleashes a mysterious spirit/demon/god called Pazuzu. On the other side of the world, a young girl begins exhibiting strange behaviour. Regan, a typical 12-year-old American girl, refuses to eat or sleep and becomes aggressive. All the while, strange things happen around the house.

The doctors provide no answers to her behaviour, so the mother of the supposedly-ill child turns to religion instead. She finds help in the form of a priest who is experiencing a crisis of faith and consequently doesn’t believe this is demonic possession. But a couple chats with the girl convinces him that yep, she’s bunged up with a demon. So, he asks the bishop if he can perform an exorcism. A priest fresh off that dig in Iraq is shipped over and they get to work. During the final exorcism, one of the priests opts to save the possessed girl by asking the demon to possess them instead. The possessed priest chucks himself out of the window and as he falls to his death, regains his faith in God.

The Exorcist is one of the most famous horror films - if not, the most iconic - of all time, from the traumatic FX makeup of a possessed Regan to sequences ‘80s America wasn’t ready for.

But The Exorcist was not a stand alone film. Contrary to popular belief, what followed was 4 (soon to be 5) sequels ‘n’ prequels that unravelled a deep, dramatic plotline. There’s a reason we don’t hear about them.

In the following films we see the aftermath of Regan’s exorcism and emerging doubts about whether she was in fact really possessed. Political and theological themes rise to the surface, looking deeper at the priests that conducted the exorcism rather than the victim. At the same time we take part in an archeological dig, meet a serial killer, and get a front row seat to a battle during WW2.

It’s a wild ride. But this ride is brimming with reality.

Blatty directly cited inspiration from a number of sources, most famously the 1949 demonic possession of Roland Doe that he first heard when studying at Georgetown University. But he has also claimed that many of the characters who navigated the possession of Regan were based on real people.

Take Father Merrin, the exorcist leading the exorcism: he was based on a British archaeologist that excavated the caves where the Dead Sea Scrolls (ancient manuscripts written in Hebrew) had been found.

But the nature of the exorcism that filled out a majority of the film were informed by the work for Father William S Bowdern, a Jesuit priest who exorcised Roland Doe himself.

However, it wasn’t just the mortals that were inspired by real, historic figures.

Pazuzu Is An Actual Worshipped Demon

Without Pazuzu, there would be no possession. Without Pazuzu, there would be no exorcism, nor the need for an exorcist.

We only see the demon in flashes - but these moments inherit a history that takes us back as far as 3500BC. Pazuzu was an ancient Mesopotamian or Assyro-Babylonian god that was the king of the demons of the wind. He brought storms and drought, and although recognised as an evil spirit, he also drove away other evil spirits. He strives to protect us from plagues and misfortunes, and his rival, Lamashtu, causes harm to mother and baby during childbirth.

He is known as both a demon and a god, but in The Exorcist is recognised more as the former.

We do catch a couple glimpses of Pazuzu, but we only see his face clearly when he begins to take over young Regan. The pasty white face and blood red eyes don’t fit ancient lore: Pazuzu is traditionally depicted as having the head of a lion, the body of a human, the talons of an eagle, a pair of wings, a scorpion’s tail, and a ‘serpentine penis’ (I can’t work out if this is the penis of a snake or a penis that looks like a snake and like I don’t wanna know k).

The Exorcism Of Roland Doe

It’s one of the most famous cases of possession - and we don’t even know who the victim actually was.

In 1949, American newspapers began to pick up on the story of an exorcism in Maryland. A teenage boy was at the centre of mysterious poltergeist activity after the death of his spiritualist aunt. She was the one that first introduced him to an ouija board.

After typical paranormal activity took place, priests were summoned to exorcism him. During these exorcisms, furniture began to move by itself, the boy began to attack priests with rogue bedsprings, he began to speak in an unknown voice, the mattress he lay on began to shake, and words like “evil” and “hell” began to appear in scratches upon his body.

It was a very similar state to the one Regan was in during The Exorcist.

Roland Doe (a pseudonym, obviously) to this day has remained anonymous, and - if alive - he would be 86 years old.

Despite this being the most known case of alleged possession - rivalling only that of Anneliese Michel - it has received a large dose of skepticism and debunking. The supposed location of the exorcism and some personal details of Roland Doe have been contested. Plus, many believe Doe was actually a spoiled, attention-seeking bully who simply repeated Latin phrases heard at school in order to create some elaborate prank.

Regardless of whether it was real or not, it is a landmark moment in paranormal history.

And 300 years before a 14 year old lutheran began to growl Latin at his family members, a group of women began to show similar signs of a haunting.

The Possessed Affair Of Loudon And Aix-en-Provence

I’ve already introduced you to the possessed nuns of Loudon. But it turns out The Exorcist also took inspiration in another French convent: Aix-en-Provence.

The nuns of Loudon pinned their possession on the demon Asmodai and gave a number of different answers as to who summoned it. Some claimed it was either a priest named Peter or Zabulon (a biblical figure). But a week after this, a man named Urbain Grandier who had amassed a lot of power and a strained reputation in the community was considered the culprit.

Soon after the nuns first exhibited strange behaviour, they were hidden away and the symptoms stopped.

The accusations levelled against Grandier were clearly inspired by political motives as he had publicly attacked the cardinal’s work and the taking down of the wall. But locals say he would appear at random in the convent with no one sure as to how he got inside. It was even claimed that he had made a pact with the devil - from which a physical contract was supposedly uncovered - and that he had attended witch’s sabbat.

The priest was executed for sorcery and given ‘the boot’ (a method of torture).

Loudon and Aix-en-Provence are considered cases that fit in well with wider witch trials taking place across western Europe in the 17th century. The possession of the Ursuline nuns of Aix-en-Provence were similar to that of Loudon - but were just a tad more mental.

20 years before Grandier was convicted, a young woman, Madeleine de Demandolx, confessed to the superior of the convent that she had been intimate with the local priest. She was sent away to Aix-en-Provence to get some distance but soon began to do some rather out-of-character things.

She would have convulsions and soon the other nuns began to do the same. It appeared to be contagious.

But things got hella weird when the nuns gathered together in a holy cave that Mary Magdalene was meant to have once lived in (Sainte-Baume) to be exorcised. Instead of just shaking, they all tried to outdo each other in symptoms of possession.

Once would cuss fervently; another would speak in a deep, demonic voice.

A political story soon unravelled full of accusations, executions, and even Madeleine being released from jail at 77 for her alleged witchcraft.

So - are you ever going to watch The Exorcist after this?

(Me neither.)

If you liked this post, go on and let me know with a like ‘n’ a reblog. And if you want to hear somethin’ spooky every Saturday, go on and hit follow!

[faetxlity]

Hello! Pick your favourite number from the prompt list and maybe consider Cahir/Eskel for it? (No guesses who this might be... XD)

Prompt: "I saw you looking at it last time we were in the store together, so I got it for you." Word Count: 620

Eskel weighed his coin pouch in his hand while staring at something in the shop that Cahir could not see around his shoulders. The Witcher hummed and turned, “Have what you need?”

Cahir nodded, “Just so, though the baker insisted I return in a bit.” He tried not to be obvious in his spying, the Witcher was sure to deny looking at anything if he was asked bluntly.

“Good, I’ll get Scorpion out of the stables and meet you by the notice board. Stay out of trouble while I’m gone?” This here, this was what Cahir was missing in years before he arrived at Kaer Morhen, camaraderie.  

“I think you’ve forgotten who you’re travelling with, Eskel, we left Jaskier with Geralt.” Eskel laughed, though it caused two women passing them by to scurry onward. “Go on, before Scorpion gets restless. I’d like to be out of Verden by nightfall.” 

When Eskel turned at the end of the street Cahir doubled back to the shop to find the item he’d been eyeing was a pair of gloves. They were butter soft leather and fur lined, the stitching done in silver thread. They had to have been custom ordered, large as they were. Big enough to fit Eskel’s hands. The fur is near golden and softer than all the down in a queen’s bed. 

“How much for the gloves?” He asked the shopkeep with the confident demand of a man far above his station. 

“Ah, our hundred and five ducats.” The shopkeep said.

Cahir snorted. “One hundred and thirty.” 

“You’re insane. Those were made for the Son of Zerrikania’s Queen. The fur alone is worth more than thirty ducats.” 

“And yet he’s not here. Therefore you’ll be hard pressed to find a single man or woman north of the Yaruga who would buy these.” He held the gloves up, the width of them on display to accent his words. “I’ll give you one hundred and thirty and you’ll thank me kindly.” The thin lipped shopkeep stared at him as if to judge his mettle and Cahir smiled. “What do you say?” “Two hundred and fifty.” came the counter offer.

“One hundred and fifty it is.” The man spluttered but shook Cahir’s hand nonetheless. His hope of selling the gloves was next to nothing. Cahir tucked them into a bit of wax paper and hid them at the bottom of his bag. He’d give them to Eskel when the time was right. 

A month and a half passed by without issue, save for a minor injury Eskel sustained during a contract. They worked their way up the continent until they camped at the bottom of The Killer. Three days and they would be warm, safe in the old stone halls with food and laughter. For the evening though, Cahir huddled around the fire with Eskel across from him as the last of their good rations bubbled away in a pot with a bit of rabbit. 

“It isn’t mid winter yet, I know,” Cahir tugged his pack close and pulled the package from the bottom “but I saw you looking at it and I… well. I wanted to get it for you.” The Witcher is shocked though he hides it well. He took the paper package with the care one showed a newborn. His eyes creased as he pulled out the gloves, his happiness was clear. 

“Thank you, Cahir.” Eskel pulled them on, careful not to tug on the fur too hard and that little smile grew a little wider. Eskel held out a gloved hand to beckon Cahir closer until he could squeeze his hand in his own. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Cahir couldn’t help but smile back, “I wanted to.”

[agathaarts]

Spidersonas forever!!!!!! Though she’s become less of a Spidersona and more her own weird spiderspinoff at this point, complete with a name change.

Some more Itsy stuff outta basically nowhere! Her spider-human hybrid form is where she’s most “comfortable” and ultimately where she winds up resting most of the time, though she’s still a pretty competent were-spider-shapeshifter-sort. She has a number of different and modifiable outfits, perks of living with a seamstress, and....I also wanted to draw a bunch of her, uh, rogue’s gallery together, though admittedly the Black Cats could be considered friends before long. Or at least, associates.

This is far from all of them, but these are the guys I have concrete looks for at least! Maybe I’ll do one of her allies soon. As is, most of her issues stem from the monsterous OZCORP, the company that not only created her, but continues to create it’s own forces, meddling in the nature of reality to do so!

Tiny blurbs below the cut for each of them, and if you’d like to know more about any of ‘em...let me know! I have an unfortunate amount of ideas for this AU!

ITSY-BITSY AKA SPIDER-WOMAN aka Aggie Appleton. While working for the unscrupulous OzCorp, unlucky intern Aggie Appleton is caught in the backlash of an experiment that fuses her with unstable realmatter and the test subject- a hyper-adaptive spider created using the same unstable realmatter! Now, she fights to protect her city from OzCorp’s increasingly dangerous experiments and the beings created by their experiments as ITSY BITSY aka THE INCREDIBLE SPIDER-WOMAN!

THE GREEN GOBLIN aka Norma Osborne. The CEO and leader of OZcorp, Norma Osborne has sacrificed everything for her company and their work, being a gifted and brilliant scientist in her own right. It has cost her family ties, friends, her social life, and now- her sanity and stability of form. Able to transform into the corrosive GREEN GOBLIN, she becomes a destructive force of chemical reactions and decay, with no more limits standing in her way! At least, until that annoying spider shows up...

THE KLYNTAR, represented by units VENOM and CARNAGE ~ Inter-dimensional beings, symbiotes (or, perhaps, parasites) who feed off of living beings, the KLYNTAR are horrors from beyond who’ve made a deal with Norma Osborne: a place to stop and feed in exchange for OzCorp to poke and prod and take samples to use their unstable realmatter forms to create new techniques and horrors! Of course, once mold gets in....it’s almost impossible to get it out, even if said mold is far more than anything native to Earth!

BLACK CAT is a mystery. A force of corporate espionage, a cat thief, a rumor, and mystery, a funny joke to poke fun at unsolved thefts and leaked information- of course, it’s very hard to find Black Cat. They slip in and out of secure warehouses, files, and companies with nary a trace, virtually impossible to spot. Especially unless you know they’re not one person, but three. At least, that Itsy-Bitsy comes to know of...

THE BUGS are a group of ne’er-do-wells who took up an offer to be bonded with biotech armor by OzCorp, all for their own various reasons, and now they’re beholden to OzCorp...and on an impressive payroll, that motivates being guards, bullies, and thieves as necessary.

SCORPION aka Mac Gargan. Once a private detective of disrespectful status, Mac Gargan was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Unlike his fellow bugs, he tends to question a lot of his commands, and is well aware of the quote “hinky crap” going down behind the lab doors of OsCorp- but the pay grade is nice. And the benefits, well, the benefits are killer. Besides, he’s gotten to know the personality of his symbiotic armor well...and wouldn’t abandon him back to OzCorp’s nonexistent mercies by quitting.

BEETLE aka Abby Jenkins. Previously an engineer with white collar criminal aspirations, Abby Jenkins was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling tragedy and desperation. Having bonded well with her symbiotic armor, she’s enjoying the steady work and respect she finds with OzCorp, and gets to spend her spare time tinkering with projects amongst brilliant inventors she’d have never had a chance to rub elbows with before!

FLY aka Richie Deacon. A career small-time criminal, Richie Deacon spent most of his life in and out of prison, halfway houses, and shelters, and was hardly in a place to turn down OzCorp’s offer after befalling a particular tragedy and desperation. Now they don’t care much about the work they do, happy to do whatever OzCorp asks in exchange for living a cushy life, even if it means having to wear the gross symbiotic armor. Still, small price to pay to fly!

SHR- i mean -SHOCKER aka Herman Schultz. Another career criminal, Herman Schultz worked as muscle for a few crime families in various cities, before getting bounced out of almost all of them and directly into OzCorp’s loving arms. No tragedy or desperation needed to convince him to get into a suit of powered armor (even if it’s more or less a giant lobster as far as he’s concerned) and start breaking things at a whim! Besides, everything at OzCorp is so damn weird, he’s never been more entertained anywhere in his life!

ELECTRO aka Max Voltage. Once one of OzCorp’s many test animals, an electric “eel” cobbled together out of various types of electric fish and a hodgepodge of other animals, Max taking on human traits was, well...an accident, but a happy one. Now settled into a form distinctly human, with intelligence to match (though some would argue otherwise) Max is capable of incredible feats of electrical manipulation and sensitivity beyond any creature in it’s creation!

DOCTOR OCTOPUS aka Octavia Otto. Respected young researcher and lead scientist of many OzCorp projects, Octavia Otto was caught in the backlash of an experiment that ultimately fused her with a number of test subjects, hyper-adaptive octopuses...except she’s continued to mutate and change, in ways nobody else can quite pin down (but it’s okay, she’s keeping rigorous, detailed notes on the process! For science!) and has assisted OzCorp’s goals since, happy to have a constant source of supplies and test subjects to work with. Her and Aggie Appleton had...history, before this all went down, too, so that’s not awkward at all!

RHINO aka Aleksei Sytsevich. Arriving in America as Anna Kravenoff’s bodyguard, Aleksei found himself out of work before long as Anna hastily shucked her father’s protections of her and kicked him unceremoniously out of her life. Once OzCorp decided he’d make a fine test subject, well, he’s been a professional mook for most of his life and didn’t have many complaints about the improved size, strength, and toughness. Aleksei may put on a blithe, dopey exterior, but he’s far too controlled to be an actual fool...which makes him quite dangerous, even if he only does as OzCorp asks.

THE SPOT aka Joon-Woo Ohnn. The Spot’s creation is a sort of mystery, even to himself and to OzCorp. An experiment, a failure, and...Dr. Ohnn is still certainly alive and aware, but some sort of bizarre 3D shadow cast by, well, wherever he is. While unable to speak, Ohnn is still fully capable of serving OzCorp, with his ability to function as a series of wormholes and perform strange acts of teleportation.

MYSTER.IO aka Mysterio aka thecrystalball aka The Mystery aka ??? aka aka aka aka aka..... Myster.io is a digital character- either a face for someone distant and anonymous, or many someones, or perhaps some sort of self-aware AI, Mysterio’s story changes every time he tells it and that’s just how it should be! This bizarre digital being pops up on people’s devices and is an information gatherer and peddler, always happy to tweak reality to better suite someone’s needs for a price.

KRAVEN the HUNTRESS aka Ana Kravenoff aka Kraven Jr. aka Lady Anastasia Kravenoff. Kraven the Hunter was a star, a legend- a man who battled beasts and travelled to impossible places and rose to reclaim an ancient family legacy, he was famous and infamous alike, and regardless of if you loved or hated him- he was a household name across the globe. Ana would like that. Ana might have been shipped off to America to live a carefully tailored “normal” life by her father and his estate, but Ana has aspirations that greatly outstrip those of her brothers and a goal to match her father’s infamy someday! But until she can secure a show, she hunts monsters for YouTube and enjoys her modest cult following- especially since she’s found a way to attend college in a sleepy Midwestern City that just happens to have a lot of monster-related issues. Her current target? Spider-Woman!

[afoolandathief]

Underwing Challenge, Day 4

Again, thank you all for the comments on yesterday's post. I'm going to try to get back to some replies shortly. Day 4 proved to again be more rambling on my part as I went off about the world of anxiety-riddled witches and preening vampires.

4. What’s the world of your WIP like?

Something Wicked is an urban fantasy story set in modern-day Las Vegas sometime before the COVID-19 pandemic (I do have to adjust the dates at some point, since technically everyone's age and date of birth is based on summer 2020, which doesn't work at all given how Vegas was basically shut down then).

It's terrible, but I've actually never been to Las Vegas. I was inspired to set it there because I have a great-aunt who was so skilled with numbers she made a living winning poker games at Vegas casinos. Here was a place where a witch who could calculate the future could maybe make enough money to get by. The fact that the city was built by organized crime presented an opportunity for a vampiric contract-killer to reluctantly come to Vegas in the late 1940s.

(The city I live near now does have casinos and a history with the Mob, but it's cold and small and not nearly as well-known).

And of course, there's the surrounding desert. A place with ghost towns and sandstone buttes for fights to take place. Where coyotes and scorpions skitter off into the dark. And where daytime means almost certain death or disfigurement for vampires.

Magic is real in the world of "Something Wicked," but it's not known to everyone. Witches' covens and Fae governments generally have rules against sharing with non-magic users, and your stray monsters don't think it's worth the hazard. That doesn't stop it from leaking out in small ways: wizards earn millions dowsing for oil barons, witches sell pharmaceutical patents, vampires make deals to silence whoever squealed to the cops. But for most, it's tucked away in the shadows.

Some more specific places

The Grapevine The Merrow's Toe: A bar that's been around longer than the city has, the Merrow's Toe is a place for supernatural folks of the non-witch variety to gather and relax without the local Coven policing or attempting to study them. The only witch allowed is supernatural oddsmaker Jade Shaw, so patrons can place their bets.

Originally called the Grapevine, and featuring disco lights and a karaoke machine, Elven bartender Iris renamed it and has been working to rebrand it as something more respectable ever since her boss Di vanished. Her efforts are constantly thwarted by one of her long-time customers. She keeps threatening to kick that vampire out, even if he keeps reminding her this is the only place he can get a drink — and, hey, they have history, don't they?

Byrne Family Funeral Home: Owned and operated by necromancer Amber and her fire mage twin Everett "Ember" Byrne, Byrne Family Funeral Home offers all your burial and crematorial needs. And your dearly departed won't need those parts anymore, right?

After committing something unknown and unspeakable, the Byrne twins have been cursed with obedience to Coven leader Theoris Myrina, which also means operating her shop for potions and ingredients out of the back of the funeral home.

Ace's Casino: One of the casinos Jade makes money at playing poker. She tries not to win all the time to keep eyes off her, although no one seems to notice the magician performing there is in fact the assistant's pet rabbit, so.

Anouilh Ranch: A place for vampires, werewolves and other creatures to rest under the watch of Marie Anouilh. Also the location of some of the rarest plants developed in the greenhouses of one Violet Anouilh.