Tumgik
#NOTHING good has happened this year and i hate it
elrielffs · 2 days
Text
Elain was raised as a lady with certain expectations drilled into her from childhood. Be beautiful, be feminine, be demure, be the perfect lady and get a good husband and bear children. This was paramount. This was her life's plan. Do not question it. This was the limit for Elain, the best outcome she could hope for--she could be no more and no less. And Elain did as she was told because she didn't know any better and because Elain's fault is complacency. She performed perfectly.
Tumblr media
When we first meet Elain in the cottage, she comes off as nice but dim. We know that she is painted as a "bad sister" alongside Nesta and I know a lot of people like to say "well why does Elain get a pass and Nesta doesn't?" And I think that comes down to where their actions and feelings come from. Elain was never intentionally mean to Feyre, Elain never acted out of maliciousness, she was neglectful sure, but Elain never went out of her way to cause Feyre harm, unlike Nesta.
Elain was used to being taken care of, either emotionally by Nesta or provided for by Feyre and this caused her to fall into a sense of complacency since nothing was expected of her. She accepted the situation and depended on others to change/fix/manage the problems around her and her family while holding on to hope and trying to make the best of the situation to what she thought was the best of her ability. (Selling flowers she grew, getting Feyre paint etc, always trying to be kind)
And when we see Elain again after Feyre leave's Spring Court the first time--Elain is back in the element that she was raised for and flourishing. Everyone loves her, her gardens are spectacular, and her family's standing in society has risen again. The plan for her life is back on track she plays the part perfectly again.
Tumblr media
In ACOMAF, the trend continues. She's a wonderful hostess, great communicator, can run a household, is a master at balls and has secured a good marriage and wealthy fiance. She’s complacent with her lot and life and has the happiness that others told her she should want.
Elain thinks she is doing everything right. She endured with her family during the years they were poor and now continued to blossom after all the hard times have passed and accomplished everything that was expected of her and a bonus--she loved her husband to be!
Then the cauldron.
Kidnapped in the middle of the night by fae she's been taught to fear her whole life.
Terror.
The first into the cauldron. Will she drown? Will something worse happen? What about Grayson, what about her marriage, what about this life that she has cultivated perfectly to everyone's standards for her?
Tumblr media
Elain is turned fae--Grayson and his family hates the fae.
Elain is claimed by a fae male who she doesn't know, but knows that he was on the side that caused this to happen to her.
And Elain now has powers. Powers that confuse and trick her. Are they hallucinations? Is she going crazy? Is she in the past, present, future?
But it will all be okay, right? It has to, she did everything right. She did everything right.
She see's Grayson, the man she loves, who loves her, who she shared her body with. He'll love her, he'll accept her, and everything will be okay. A mate, powers, being turned fae--it means nothing because Grayson loves her and she will be able to continue on like before.
Except, she can't stay at her home where she had carefully cultivated the life she was supposed to have.
She can't stay among humans but has to be among fae, a race she knows nothing about and has been taught to fear all her life.
And worse of all, Grayson doesn't love her. He rejected her most cruelly.
Everything in shambles. This wasn't supposed to be happen. She did everything she was supposed to--she had everything she was supposed to want. This wasn't supposed to happen.
She did everything right.
She said all the right things. She did all the right things.
It wasn't enough.
Now she has to start over--in a new place with new people. Her sisters are there, Nesta angry and simmering, Feyre important and busy in the life she had made for herself, the life she deserved.
Elain withers. There was no point to any of it. Everything is murky and dark. There is nothing. No one sees her---her.
Then a light. She is seen. Her powers that have haunted her have been given a name. A Seer.
Tumblr media
Slowly she begins to recover--to her standards. Making the best of the situation, carving out a new life for herself in a way she wasn't able to before. She gardens, she bakes, she makes new friends with Nuala and Cerridwen. More of her true personality start to come through. She does everything at her own pace. She doesn't go to balls, she doesn't play hostess, nothing is expected of her here.
Except--the mating bond.
She is told that the mating bond is important in fae culture, that bonds are sacred--that because a fae male she doesn't know claimed her as his mate she should talk to him, get to know him, accept the bond. This is what is expected in this new fae culture she is now unwillingly apart of.
It's expected that she'll accept the bond, become his "bride" so to speak, have his children.
Except--she's already done that. She's already done that. She perfected that.
She did everything right and it ended in disaster and here, it's being asked of her again and she doesn't even know or love this male.
No. Not again.
She will not do it again.
Elain was stripped of all autonomy. This is her way of gaining it back. She can't make Grayson love her, she can't become human again, but she can reject the male that everyone says has a claim on her.
Elain is living on Elain's terms now. Elain is doing what she wants and what she expects of herself. We already see her beginning of growth in ACOSF--offering to help scry for the trover rather than depend on others to handle the situation.
Tumblr media
I hope a part of her journey reflects that--having Elain find out that her limit is so much more than she has been led to believe, that she is so much more than a pretty lady in a dress, that she can be who she wants to be without repercussions. That people will love her as she is and not what she is expected to be.
That she can make her own choices, what she does, who she loves, how she acts. No longer complacent with what others expect or assume for her.
82 notes · View notes
l0stfoster · 3 days
Note
I desperately want to know more about the cursed tulsa au! Is it ok to ask you for more headcanons about it/details from the au?
Anon you have probably asked me the question that’ll give you the longest post I’ll ever have on my account because I was born to yap about this. Nothing super detailed or written out, but a lot of little things about the characters and the world around them! Take some of my written 'headcanons' with a grain of salt!! Although I'm kinda one of the writers, I don't want to call stuff canon without input from the others.
You can VERY clearly see who we talk about the most. Any additional fun facts or info will either be mentioned in reblogs or put in a new post and linked here!!
TULSA
200 years ago, the area of Tulsa was cursed by a witch. This witch stated that the poorest born will be shown just as the rest of society views them. Freaks.
A majority of, if not all, of the greasers are cursed. They have to be born in Tulsa for this effect to take place. There are very few socs who are also cursed, but it's a very spl
Those born in Tulsa can leave, but their powers are weakened (or they lose them in full until they return)- this may not be an issue for the human passing ones who just want to live life normally, but folks like Fae and Harpies will likely be hunted down by the government, as their kind isn't seen around. (At least, not to the public eye.)
(Already stated this but I'll say it again) Follows the canon plot excluding Johnny and Dally’s deaths. Johnny ‘dies’ (heart stopped, declared clinically dead— gets resuscitated though) and Dally still snaps and loses it, bolts the second after he ‘died’. Dude gets shot (non-fatally on contact) by the cops, but the gang gets him to the hospital and he lives thank god.
Animalistic traits are pretty common amongst the cursed. Some have horns, others have tails, the harpies have wings, fae have pointed ears and tails, and many of them have sharp teeth.
DARRY
Fae, his power is Emotional Augmentation/Negation & Mind Manipulation. - He can calm people down, elevate their emotions, or clamp down on people's power if they're getting too out of hand. This makes it really hard for him to identify his own emotions. He also has a bad habit of using his power when he's upset, which means it pretty much rubs off on others. He's usually pretty good at keeping it down, but he struggles. - His manipulation is pretty much a workaround for the fact that the fae cannot lie. It pretty much makes him VERY convincing, mind manipulation does that. He'll tell someone something and they'll believe it. Master Gaslighter. That comes with its own issues-- he can't tell if the relationships he's made are authentic due to his manipulation, meaning they might just be telling him what he wants to hear. It bugs him really bad, and he worries that a lot of his friendships aren't as solid as they seem to be.
He had a very messy situationship and falling out with Paul. One-sided crush on Darry's end for a while throughout their friendship (Paul was in HEAVY denial of his own feelings, while Darry knew damn well he loved Paul.) Paul, being the soc he is, didn't like that Darry was "one of those freaks". That was sort of where their friendship shattered, and everything that happened after Bob's death made it beyond repairable.
REALLY hates being fae, and has done a lot of shit to try and prevent himself from being easily identifiable as something not human. He tried cutting his ears off ((due to paul's comment calling them freaks) got caught, and one ear is fucked up now), continuously tried to get his tail injured enough to be amputated (that also didn't work, but now he's got a disabled tail that hurts to move too much), and even gave filing his teeth down a go (also didn't work- made them sharper if anything.)
He doesn't wag his tail, and the gang can’t tell if it’s because he’s never happy or because the range of motion is limited due to his injury. If you’re lucky the tip of it will flick around but he also does that when angry so you can’t tell what the fuck dude is actually feeling
Fucked up his vocal cords growling all the time as a kid when trying to be intimidating, so now his growl sounds like a broken wolf's growl; he can't do it for too long or it fucks up his voice and he'll sound like a chain smoker. (Speaking of, I headcanon he used to/does smoke, just hid it well from Pony n Soda)
Purrs very rarely but when he does, he purrs like a motherfucker. Whole ass jet engine. It is LOUD and you will vibrate if he's hugging you.
His boss is the only one unaffected by his power. "You should give me a raise" 'Not gonna happen, Darrel' "FUC-"
Stole Darrel Sr's name. It's why he's junior /silly
Literally just anxiety personified, tbh. He cannot catch a break and hates himself so bad. He's equally as feral as his brothers but is just VERY good at keeping it lowkey.
All the fae are nature-linked in some way. Darry really likes the sun and warm weather. He's got Disney princess energy too, and animals adore him. (hence Two being drawn to him as a perch /silly) He gets followed home by neighborhood strays and keeps having to tell Soda that no, they can't keep them.
Not even specifically an AU headcanon but when he cracks any bones they pop like forty gazillion times. Cracks his back and it's just a solid 5 seconds of snapping.
Speaking of, he's one of the only people who can hold Two's weight because his wings are heavy. Dude's strong as fuck here for obvious reasons, he's also a little too fast compared to a human, so.
Bites his nails to high heavens. He stopped doing it for a while trying to break the habit but accidentally clawed up someone in the gang wrestling and hasn't let them get long since.
Likes to preen Two's wings, it's the repetitive nature that calms him down. If he's stressed and Two notices then he offers.
Like all the other power havers, he gets super fucking weak and a bunch of other drawbacks when overusing his power. Still developing said drawbacks but I personally imagine he either just gets overly emotional or goes completely robotic and stoic.
Jumped Paul with Dally once bc they were trying to get back all the feathers stolen from Two-Bit. Dally didn't even finish asking who was first before he answered a very flat "Paul."
He's very friendly with Ms. Mathews. She helps them a lot throughout the years and he deeply respects her-- he also finds it very funny to see all the photo album bullshit she's got for her kids. Laughs his ass off at the stupid baby photos of Two n his sister.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE ON HIS BIRTHDAY. This will be further explained in Johnny's little section but long story short, they were supposed to get into a car accident before the train tracks and Darry would've died. He's got survivor's guilt, to an extent, as his parents wouldn't have died in the crash. Only him.
Had heightened Pony's anger during their confrontation. The guilt still eats him alive.
Unlike the other greasers who's powers weaken while they're sick, Darry's power gets very unstable due to how he's commonly repressing them. The gang knows he’s sick no matter how hard he tries to hide it physically because they’ll be around him and suddenly they’re weirdly emotional, or he’ll say something and they’ll believe him even if they know better.
In alliance with my headcanon for the normal story, I personally imagine he got jumped after his friendship with Paul ended before their parents died (since that friendship breaking apart kinda ruined his alignment with any socs)
Generally just a normal hc but he's got Autism, BPD, PTSD, and a few other things like anxiety, major depressive disorder, and sensory/eating issues. Very financially insecure too.
Used to bite as a kid. That's it. Send tweet.
SODA
Fae, his power is pretty much just a Siren Song. - He can get people to do what he wants with his voice, it's as simple as that. He used it to get Sandy to confess to the fact that the baby wasn't his, uses it to get Darry or Steve to take breaks if they're working a little too hard, etc.
Used his power to get extra cake after dinner or to get teachers to lighten up on him or his friends when they got in trouble. It works very similarly to Darry's manipulation, only Soda's is physical and makes them very compelled to follow what he says. In certain circumstances, people can tell if he's caused them to do/say something. That doesn't stop him, though!
When their parents died, everyone's powers went haywire. Soda had to either scream himself mute or force himself to be quiet so he wouldn't accidentally make anyone do something. He didn't want it to be fixed.
If he overuses his magic then he can't talk for a good few days without it hurting, voice gets very raspy.
Thinks he's a bad person due to the nature of his power. I personally like to think the only time he doesn't mind using them is when it's for the benefit of his friends. He's had to coax Two down from the roof after his jumping because watching all the harpies fly just makes him feel worse. He's stopped Steve from overusing his telekinesis after too many close calls with dropping a car.
Absolutely LOVES his ears and tail. Has a ton of piercings and tries to accessorize them a lot. The polar opposite of Darry in that regard. Likes his sharp teeth too.
His claws are probably the second sharpest, as they get sharper with age IMO.
He's probably the most expressive of the fae; constantly doing stuff since he can't sit still for the life of him. Tail's either swaying, tapping, wagging, or doing something.
Has the growl of a leopard. it is terrifying, when he growled at the socs during the rumble they almost pissed themselves. It scares the shit out of Two-Bit LMAOAO.
Soda has arguably the most average purr out of his brothers, it's basic, simple like a cat's is. He purrs super hard and at pretty much any physical affection sent his way.
When asked for his name by Mr and Mrs. Curtis, he pointed at a Pepsi bottle. Eventually, he swapped it for Soda.
He was jumped by the socs once, and they gagged/muzzled him so he couldn't use his power against them to defend himself. The gang was fucking destroyed when he came home with it, they knew they weren't perceived as equal, but that's beyond cruel.
Also slightly nature-linked. I like to think bees flock to him <3 He's also very good with botany, pretty tied with Pony.
He makes little healing pastes/oils for Darry using Pony's plants when he massages his back.
Soda learned many of his extending-the-truth-to-avoid-lying tricks from Darry, so he's very good at it. Darry is one of the only people who doesn't fall for Soda's shit. Steve doesn't either, just because he feels too bad lying to his best friend.
Soda pretty much gets zoomies. He'll be practically bouncing off the walls and going batshit bonkers. It's insane. Sometimes he's on all fours too, no one knows how he can do it so well.
Arguably the most fae-linked of the brothers; a lot of the little things that don't affect his brothers get to him. All three of them are properly burned by iron, though.
Doesn't like being thanked, as it not only implies being owed something, but he also just feels that he shouldn't be thanked for being kind/having basic empathy.
He absolutely hates salt. Too white for it /j (It's another fae thing, Soda's just most impacted by it)
He's weirdly flexible and moves in super uncanny ways sometimes. No one's sure if it's a fae thing or if he's just.. built like that.
Soda's a smooth talker when using his magic but cannot for the life of him start a conversation without it.
When he found out that Steve's dad was abusive, he nonstop asked for the fucker's full name for DAYS because he was so upset that someone was hurting his best friend.
Stevepop is canon in the writer's eyes, but if you want to you can absolutely read their dynamic as platonic (won't stop us from drawing ship art of them so whoops). I try my best to keep most of the dynamics/relationships open for interpretation (On that note, no shipping the mfs who are family coded I'll actually maim you)
When he snores it rumbles off with a purr. Also sleeps halfway draped over Pony like a bigass weighted blanket.
Yet another normal headcanon thing but he's got ADHD, Dyslexia, PSTD, and DPD. Yeah all of them are a little fucked up.
He collects rocks and crystals. It's a stash he can't bring around Two-Bit because it WILL be stolen.
PONY
Fae, his power is Nature Manipulation - It's honestly just what it sounds like. He can create plants, manipulate them, etc. He's very commonly using them, and they're heavily emotion-tied. Cacti and Venus fly traps when angry, wilted plants and dead bushes when sad, etc etc. The plants he grows most are vines, as they're super useful for him. He can use them offensively or defensively as needed. They have a huge tree in their backyard that he grew.
He's benefited positively from bright sunlight and water. He's incapable of drowning, so when Bob tried to drown him in the fountain he was kinda just,, chillin'. (Unfortunately for these fuckers, Johnny did NOT know that.)
Alternatively, he gets super weak and sluggish during the winter and cold seasons. It's misery for him, he thrives on sunlight and warmth. He's got these greenish-grey eyes when it's the summer/spring and they get super dull during the colder months. Groundhog Day is for losers, the gang knows when spring's coming once Pony starts perking back up.
Plants grow in his hair, mostly little sprouts and flowers like that. Magical flower crowns!! He makes them for Johnny every now and then.
Gets followed by bees and bugs. He both enjoys and despises it because what the fuck dude why are HORNETS chasing him.
Liked to grow flowers to give their mom as a kid, he was a little gift giver to her.
On that note, a motherfucking GOBLIN as a child. Literally, chaos incarnate, absolutely horrible to try and raise because he was so fucking wild.
Does not have spring allergies, lucky fucker.
When their parents died, the house was wrapped in vines for days. Sometimes they still start to overtake and infest due to how many there had been, but Darry usually trims them down went he notices (or when he's got the free time, busy ass)
Has the fattest beef with Steve still. Will trip the guy with his vines and he bites.
He's got a squeaky purr and a squeaky growl due to being young. He growls like a snow leopard cub.
Responds really well to physical affection just like Soda, doesn't always purr to it but does really enjoy it. Avidly avoids it from Two bc the stupid bird will try to preen him and he thinks it's goofy /silly
QPR with Johnny. Pony represents life and Johnny represents death. They hold hands, are the besties ever, and are extremely codependent. Do not romanticize their relationship I'll eat your knees.
Pony knows a lot about flower meaning, as he should. He's also very good with botany too.
Instead of Tim stepping on him in the rumble, he ate shit and got smacked really hard by harpy wings. Two and Tim still aren't too sure which one of them did it.
Very little thing but he has a tooth gap.
Pony tried doing a Darry n attempted to cut his ears to look more human while at the church. It didn't work, so now he's got two little rips that look similar to if you had a piercing torn out. He's generally got mixed feelings about his features.
Tries to keep his emotions on the down low for the sake of looking like a tuff adult, but his tail is constantly giving him away.
Pony made them a fairy around the house with his plants, and it serves as a little thing that lets any of the Curtis' know if someone enters the hours whether they're at home or not. If Pony doesn't want someone at the house while they're away then his vines will yoink them out.
Choosing his name was just him saying a random word in a very ominous voice. Darry added the 'boy' to the end of it.
He makes flower crowns for the hell of it, just likes having his hands moving. Either the gang gets them or they get tossed in a misc pile.
He is SO fucking bad at trying to extend the truth, absolutely miserable at it. He cannot gaslight at all.
Due to his power being weak at Windrixville, he had tried and failed to save Johnny with his vines. Instead, they were pulling him back in a subconscious effort to save himself; plants don't go well with flame, after all.
Had to quit smoking post-Windrixville because the smell bothered him really hard. His voice was kinda fucked up after too due to the smoke inhalation as well.
He's got little burn scars on his hands from grabbing the iron gates at the cemetery where their parents are buried too many times. Darry thinks he's a moron for it.
Clings to Ace like a motherfucker during the winter because she's naturally VERY warm.
Darry has to hold this bitch down to cut his nails when they get too sharp because he'll scratch a bitch while wrestling and play dirty.
Mental stuff again; Autism, PTSD, and Sensory Issues. Also kind of an addict.
He hasn't reached the full potential of his powers because he's still going through puberty.
Poy thrives off sugar, being plant-based and all.
STEVE
Human, but his power is Telekinesis. - It's very simple to explain. He's capable of lifting this with his mind and little physical action. There technically isn't a weight limit, but if he lifts something too heavy for too long it'll drop and he'll be REALLL fucked up, it's exhausting to use too much. Alas, that doesn't really stop him. If he gets pissed off things start floating around him.
REALLY likes to throw cars. It's just showing off honestly. He likes doing little things like that for the hell of it.
His dad makes him float beers to him and he'll very bitterly do it. One time he did it a little too fast 'on accident' and held back smiling as his dad bitched about getting covered in beer.
If substitute teachers are unaccommodating assholes he hucks desks at them. Detention is very worth it.
His telekinesis makes him seem physically stronger than he actually is. When it came to Two-Bit perching on the group, the people who could do it were Dally, Darry, and Steve-- until they found out that Steve was just using his telekinesis to hold him up. He dared to do it once without and long story short they ended up on the floor.
Steve isn't super affected by Soda's magic, but he does stuff for him just 'cause Soda's his best friend.
He uses his telekinesis to fly around with Two sometimes. That sort of stops after Two's wing ends up fucked. Every now and then, though, he'd use his power to give Two-Bit the feeling of flying again. They both go home bummed, Two because he’s no longer ‘flying’ and Steve because he hates knowing he can’t actually help
He did most of the work making a prosthetic for Two, and Soda helped a hell of a ton too.
He can't lie to save his life, just 'cause. He also can't whistle.
Arguably even more autistic for cars like this because of how easy working on them becomes with telekinesis. Floats them up himself to work under them.
Speaking of that, he'll float Soda up to the ceiling if he pesters him too much while he's working on a car. Needs to be absolutely locked in and Soda interrupts that.
He may be human passing but he doesn't... look right. His limbs and fingers are too long for a person.
Was STRUGGLING after the rumble. Had to deal with the pain of bones being too stretched plus broken ribs and fucked up knuckles.
He's got a complex that he's only good for his powers. It's a big sense of insecurity for him. It doesn't help that his powers tie to his mood sometimes too. He's had too many close calls dropping a car he's underneath and almost crushing himself because something gets to him. "You good, Steve?" (literally shaking) "Yeah I'm great"
Soda has to use his magic to force him to take a break, cause Steve doesn't want to stop because he thinks they're all he's got that makes him good at what he does.
His dad was born poor and in Tulsa. Steve isn't too sure what his curse is, but he doesn't want to find out.
He's got a crush on Soda that he, for a while, keeps mistaking for a heavy amount of admiration. You don't want to be him, Steve, you want to be WITH him.
He's got fragile bones like the harpies, the only difference is that his isn't biological and is due to his telekinesis stretching his bones out.
Yeah also mentally ill. Autism, PTSD, and CDD.
Idly floats himself for the hell of it sometimes. If Soda calls him short he'll bitterly float up to match his height or be taller.
TWO-BIT
Crow Harpy. No power besides that I think
He's got all the mannerisms of a crow and of birds in general. He likes to give his family and the gang shinies; flies by and drops bottlecaps or random little trinkets and dips. Sometimes physically throws them at people.
He dives at people in the street sometimes if they have something shiny. He’ll also dive-bomb friends and just pick them up like a claw machine. Dally’s the most common victim of this.
He's very intertwined with the bird instincts too. Nests, preens, chirps, whistles, etc. Very fucking loud and will not shut up. Clicks when he's all angry and shit.
Two’s mom is a harpy and his dad is human. Neither of them took after him, and he wasn’t happy about that. Two-Bit constantly had his needs and habits as a harpy repressed by his father; this included having his feathers clipped and not being allowed to preen or nest. His mom wasn’t able to do anything about it for a while, as she was too busy working to keep a roof over their heads.
He knows she is doing her best, and he doesn't blame her for not being able to protect him from that. Two's a huge mama's boy. he used to hide in her wings when he was little.
He taught his sister to fly and had taught himself by jumping off the roof. It’s why he’s got his tooth gap.
His mom has a photo album of him and his sister as they grew, including their feathers as they molted. "Baby's first molt!" and he looks like a blended-up cotton ball. Darry loves these photo albums.
Dally calls him Songbird and Freckles. Two calls him Dimples
He likes to bleach the tips of his feathers and dyes them with his sister, since her feathers are still light enough to dye without bleach.
He preens with the gang and will also try to preen the gang. It’s a bonding activity but bc they don’t have feathers it’s usually just him fucking around with their hair. It usually ends with them wrestling a pissy bird that by god NEEDS to get that knot out of your hair or he will tweak. Pony hates it the most, Darry and Soda are the only ones who don't resist.
If Darry whistles around him he'll shoot over and perch on the guy.
Even bigger kleptomaniac in this. Always has something, Dally's been given at least six switchblades over a week.
He can mimic voices and sounds really well. Uses Johnny's voice to get Pony's attention once. "Oh so you'd get up the second Johnny calls BUT WHEN I DO YOU IGNORE M-"
Horrible flier when drunk, it's hilarious to watch.
If you throw a piece of cloth thick enough to block out light over his head, he falls asleep.
Cannot for the life of him get through doors on the west side because they aren't friendly for wings.
His heart beats like 200+ times per minute. Everyone thinks he's having a heart attack or something when they first hear it.
Alternatively, he thought Dally was dying when he first heard how slow his heartbeat was.
He goes into torpor during really cold winter days or if he's super fucking exhausted. Went into torpor right after his jumping and Dally was convinced that he was dying.
Two gets very territorial and defensive of the gang because they're "his flock". Gives people death stares if they're getting too close. He looms threateningly over the shoulders of his friends if he doesn't like the person they're talking to. It usually scares them off.
He likes to take the gang and his family for flights. Scoops em up and just goes, most of them enjoy it, the ones with a fear of heights? Not so much.
If the younger members of the gang get sick he WILL shove them in a nest and pretty much hover over the person. He gets mama-bird traits from his mom.
Alternatively, even if Darry gets sick Two will hover over that motherfucker. He will wrap that man in a blanket and not let him leave. Just swaddles all the fuckers.
He's got good timing with dive-bombing people. Darry fell off a roof once and BAM suddenly he's in the arms of a very energetic harpy.
Was a really small kid and just shot up overnight. One day he was up to Dally's chest and the next he was at his nose. Dally hated it.
He's docile by nature but when he gets violent it's HELL. He's got sharp claws and talons along with sharp teeth, my guy can do some damage.
Two hates cats and has absolute beef with them. He and the rest of the harpies are scared shitless by Soda's growl too, if Soda growls he whips his head around 180 and looks around frantic. Soda both feels bad but laughs his ass off.
Two (and the other harpies) can't see glass. He's walked into the glass at the DX and slams his head against car windows trying to look outside. He's absolutely mesmerized by glass cups because why is the water FLOATING?
He has to sit in the bed of Darry's truck because his wings don't fit.
The gang went to a mirror maze once and Two got stuck in it for 2 hours. Came out with a busted nose all pouty because those mfs left him in there how dare they.
The Curtis boys can mimic bird sounds really well, they whistle at Two-Bit and his head shoots up at attention.
He's afraid of ceiling fans.
Harpies generally don't like eating bird meat due to etiquette and cultural stuff, but Two's dad would force him to eat chicken as a kid.
He adores seafood and goes fucking bonkers for it.
He got struck by lighting once. Walked into the Curtis' house singed and just went "So I might've made a mistake." Somehow he wasn't too hurt.
He tries to puff up to look intimidating but people just laugh because it's fucking cute. If he wants to look scary all he has to do is smile, yet he doesn't.
He emotes a lot with his ear feathers, they're constantly moving.
Like most birds and other harpies, his bones are hollow. They're arguably made of stronger bone material but the insides are hollow so you can snap 'em with ease if you put enough force behind it.
His neck is like a chicken's, if you move his body his head will stay in one spot if he wants it to.
He liked to just sit and linger on Dally's shoulders when they were kids. Dally didn't mind.
His feathers travel up to the back of his neck and hair; the ones up top closer to his hair are a bit curlier.
The gang can play one-sided fetch with him if they want to. Toss a shiny and he dives after it; he just won't bring it back.
He's got a whole drawer that's just full of the shit he collects. Bones, bottle caps, coins, broken jewelry, glass, etc.
He gave everyone in the gang one of his feathers. All of them wear it on their person.
There's a rumor going around in soc society about Mothman. It's just Two-Bit in really bad lighting. He got moth man status because a soc was closing a shop one night and turned and just saw these BIG ol glowing eyes staring through the window in the darkness of the evening.
He goes after rodents and small bugs. His mom used to have to wrestle mice out of his mouth and he'd cry after.
His baby photos are 90% blurs and heaps of feathers because he ALWAYS had zoomies. The only photos he's peaceful in are the ones where he's snoozing.
If they were invented in their time, Darry would put claw caps on Two if he's resisting having his talons cut. They'll watch him try his damn hardest to just tolerate them before eventually relenting like "oKAY FINE I'LL CUT THEM."
In terms of a specific species, he's a Fish Crow.
TWO-BIT CONT.
His jumping went REAL fucking bad in this. Bev took a lighter to his wing and put her cigarette out between where they met on his back (alongside still burning his face). They didn’t go for both wings, because something was much more cruel about taking one rather than both.
That shit fucked him up for so long, not only was he unable to fly, but there was all that physical and psychological pain that came with having his freedom torn from him. He was made for the skies and now he’s forced to wander the ground with the same people who hurt him.
He self-isolated up until the rumble because he couldn’t stomach the idea of the group seeing how ‘gross’ his wing looked. His mom cried her eyes out when he came home after being jumped, even though he tried hiding the damage from her.
She tried to preen him to make him more comfortable but they couldn't get more than halfway through before he broke down sobbing. “Why couldn’t I have just been normal like dad” when his mom’s preening him bc he doesn’t want to keep feeling the pain in his wings. For a few days after he hesitated even letting her near just because the pain scared him.
HATED Marcia for a good bit after his jumping. She didn't partake in it, sure, but she watched and did nothing. It took months before he could even stomach looking at her.
When his wings recovered, he used to climb on the roof and watch the other harpies fly. He'd feel the breeze through his feathers and against his face and try to convince himself that just maybe, he was up there with them. Soda has to coax him back down with his power because he is only making himself feel worse. Two was bitter at the other harpies for a very long time.
Can't handle the smell of smoke from cigarettes, though. Fire itself in some cases (mostly Ace's fire) is fine, it's cigarettes that bother him.
School was hell on earth for a good while because tight spaces and sensitive wings don't go well. He usually ended up late to classes bc he had to wait for the halls to clear to leave. He would've dropped out over it if he wasn't afraid of upsetting his mom.
His balance was fucked up for a good while due to the difference in weight.
Steve and the rest of the gang made him a prosthetic for his wing. He cried, and it fit like a glove.
Despite getting that freedom back, though, he kind of hates it. He has to relearn to fly, and it's frustrating it causes a lot of resentment because he used to be able to fly perfectly and now he struggles. He hates that he needs to rely on this prosthetic to be free.
Two-Bit and Johnny bond over having had a part of their freedom taken and now needing aid to regain it.
There's no canon ship for Two in this but the writers fuck with Dar-bit and Mar-bit hard lmao. I'll probably be doing a lot of Dar-bit stuff for them.
AuDHD and PTSD, send tweet. Maybe ODD but I'm still thinking about that one. Major separation anxiety.
JOHNNY
Human, he's what we've been calling Death Tied - He's got a sixth sense where he can tell if, when, and how a person will die. If a person's death is coming up, he'll get flashes of the event; what killed them, their corpse, etc. It freaks him out sometimes, depending on who it is. I like to imagine he gets ‘death chills’; which is a similar thing to impending doom, only he feels it for others.
His curse was NOT biological. As a kid his parents almost killed him; Death saw this, decided it was fucked up, and decided to take in this small child as its own.
Johnny's teeth are just a little too white and his eyes a little too black sometimes. He’s got something akin to vitiligo after he received death’s blessing, and it outlines and mirrors the shape of his skeleton.
Butterflies follow him since he's death; unlike Pony, who has beef with the bees that follow him, Johnny enjoys their presence.
Doesn’t like to use his power much but (pre-jumping) absolutely will tell a soc with a flat expression when and how they’ll die.
He’d saved Darry from dying at the cost of Mr and Mrs Curtis’ lives. Initially, Darry had been planning to join their parents on the car ride to get the chocolate frosting; and Johnny had come over early to get away from home as they were getting ready to leave. He’d barely gotten to walk past the fae when he got the flashes occurred. Johnny watched everything— saw the crash, the way windows broke and metal crumpled inwards; watched the life drain from Darry’s eyes— and it freaked him out. He couldn’t for the life of him explain what he’d seen, but he wouldn’t let Darry leave; clung to him and wouldn’t let go.
Darry tried using his manipulation to get Johnny to let go, but it didn’t work, and that’s what stopped him from leaving. Their parents went alone, and it was the delay in waiting for Darry to come to the car that caused them to be on the tracks that day.
Johnny hasn’t forgiven himself for it. He thinks that maybe, he could’ve done something different and saved them all. He apologized for weeks— and still apologizes sometimes nowadays.
Johnny has never feared death, it’s hard to when you’re related to it yourself. When Bob died, he didn’t feel remorse until a few minutes after he was stuck there with the corpse. He's the boy of death, this is his normal- it’s only when his humanity returns that he realizes what he’s done.
The only time he's feared death was during/after the church fire. His power practically disabled itself due to how weak he was, and he was terrified. This was going to be it, he was going to lose his life at 16-- and then he woke up in the hospital.
While he was clinically dead, he spoke to Death. It was a simple interaction, just a reassurance that it was not his time to go yet. There was a feeling of comfort in their words, too.
Sometimes, when he sleeps, he sees Death again. One of the first times they'd spoken was when Darry was supposed to die. "Hey bud, that fae was supposed to die-" "No."
Before they could afford to get him mobility aids, Steve and Two helped him get around.
He's got a really uncanny feeling about him, people do not usually like it- Dally enjoyed it, though, 'cause he's fucking bonkers. It doesn't help that he doesn't blink.
He can easily float on the surface of bigger bodies of water because corpses float in water after they begin to decompose.
He's unnaturally cold like a corpse, the cold doesn't bother him because of that, but he does like feeling warm.
GAD, C-PTSD, and Autism. He's also selectively mute but is very vocal with the gang
Johnny still smokes, but being around the smell of smoke for too long makes him panic.
DALLY
Human, he’s the only one of the gang without a curse. However, he’s recently discovered a bit of an,, unsettling change to his daily life.
Dally's been seeing things. Apparations, spirits, whatever you want to call them. He'll see them in the corner of his eye and in certain circumstances can engage with them directly. He's not a fan of it.
Born in New York, moved to Tulsa when he was around seven; Two-Bit welcomed him with a stupid amount of enthusiasm and they’ve been buddies since.
He doesn’t talk about his birth family, no matter how much prompting there is. As far as he’s aware, Buck’s probably the closest thing he’s felt to an authority figure— at least until he grew older and colder, ignoring the role the adult had in his life.
He’s only capable of holding Two’s perching weight because he’s been doing it since they were kids.
He's very good at coping with his chirps too. Likes to whistle and watch that bitch shoot up and stare.
Dally tries his damn hardest to downplay how much Two (or any of the other greasers) mean to him. Vulnerability like that makes him feel too weak, and after having shown that weakness once, he doesn't plan to do so again.
Met Death while unconscious after being shot by the cops. The only reason he's alive is because Johnny would've been destroyed, and Death didn't want to deal with that shit.
Sometimes he feels a little weird about being the only human, but it's more out of a sense of not necessarily belonging there. It's an unconscious thought, one that only manifests in the rare moments when he realizes he feels just as out of place as he did in NYC. Dallas Winston is merely a boy who has never felt at home.
Dally, funnily enough, doesn't pass well as a human. Everyone outside the gang is convinced he's a vampire because he's so pasty and his canine teeth are naturally sharp.
He successfully convinced the gang that he could talk to and control rats. Two is the only person who knows he lied because he bought him a rat once and nothing happened.
He finds out through Two-Bit and Ms. Mathews that Fae can't lie and uses it to blackmail the Curtis bros, since nobody else knows that.
Yknow how he can see ghosts? One time he woke up on the Curtis' couch to Mr and Mrs Curtis in the living room. It freaks him out so bad that he unconsciously blocks them out right after. Blinks really hard a few times until they're gone.
He's the most feral of the gang. It's the New Yorker in him. He's not supernatural, sure, but he will fuck shit up. Absolutely off his rocker, launches people, and rocks their shit.
Dally's the one who found Two-Bit after he got jumped. He's so pissed ab what happened with Pony n Johnny that he wants some sick gratitude by seeing exactly where Bob took his last breath, so that’s where he finds him. He didn't know how to react, panicked HARD.
He's arguably the closest with Johnny and Two-Bit, he's just more open about that connection with Johnny. He's also pretty good friends with Darry, as there are a lot of little things they've found mutual ground on.
He's got claw scars littered around from the harpies. The ones from Two are due to the fucker dive-bombing down to grab him with his talons a little too fast, and the others are from fist-fighting Tim.
He called Ms. Mathews mom once and has not walked physically into the house since out of pure embarrassment. He doesn't even stand on the lawn that's how embarrassed he is by it all.
More general headcanon stuff fuck you but BPD, PTSD, intermittent explosive disorder, and ODD too.
Also a general headcanon but Two-Bit convinced him to get a tattoo during one of his own sessions for his sleeve, so he's got a little switchblade on the back of his leg.
He thought Two-Bit was having a heart attack the first time he heard how fast his heartbeat was.
Non-Canon but a fun fact. If he did die to the cops, he would've come back as a ghost.
ACE
Human, arguably the least passing as one, and she's got pyrokinesis - As usual, it's very self-explanatory. She can create and control fire with the mind, but there are a few limits to it. She can't produce large flames from her hands, and so she usually has to carry a lighter to kickstart her power if needed.
Ace can make very small fires on her fingers but they're not usually big enough to be manipulated. She can go larger as needed, but it'll drain her out. Likes to just light people's cigarettes and make the flame jump from finger to finger.
When she gets super pissed off, her hair sets on fire. The gang uses her to roast marshmallows sometimes.
Ace is unofficially adopted by Mrs. Mathews. The general idea is that she found her coming home one day, assumed this was a lost child, bought her home, and the kids bonded while she tried to get information about the girl's parents. At dinner was told some shit like “Mommy n Daddy dropped me off n said to wait :) That was two days go!!” and. Safe to say Ace hasn’t left since.
On that note, has a very familial relationship with Two and his sister. They grew up together, how could they not be? They're absolute fucking chaos when paired, though. She likes to call him any bird other than a crow to see him puff up all annoyed.
She used to threaten to turn him into Thanksgiving dinner if he kept pestering her.
Absolute fucking goblin. She has tried so hard to convince Cherry to help her burn half of the soc's houses down. "We'll spare yours don't worry!!" "N..No."
She can't really swim and it could arguably kill her if she's in water for too long, but if she's mad the water will boil away.
VERY warm by nature for obvious reasons, literally a space heater. Pony flocks to her in the winter because she's so warm
Looks the least human of the humans. She's got horns underneath her hair that are still growing more, and her hands are coated pretty permanently in ash. She gives off a subtle glow and her eyes/teeth look way too bright in the dark. Her eyes burn brighter when she's upset.
Normal headcanon but arguably has the second-worst criminal record in the gang.
She feels very guilty about her power due to how much trauma the others in the gang have gone through relating to it.
Unrelated to the AU itself but she's a lesbian. IDGAF what anyone says.
Ace infatuates Two-Bit by putting on a ring and waving her fire fingers in front of his face. The fire's light bouncing off it makes it look extra shiny, she uses it to get him to do stuff for her. "Oo oo you wanna buy me a Pepsi soooo bad"
Literally just bullies him. They have no clue who's older because Ace doesn't know her birthday but she's self-titled him as her little brother.
Couldn’t control her powers as a kid, the gang is quite literally the first group of people who understood that and didn’t isolate her because she kept accidentally burning them when she got too excited (its emotions tied to an extent, hence why she’s started only channeling it by bottling up her anger until she needs to burst)
If Ace uses her power too much she quite literally burns out. Can’t use any part of it for days and is super fucking exhausted. Winter is her absolute beloathed because it’s a pretty similar feeling she gets. She's very susceptible to frostbite.
She used to make jokes about burning Two’s wings off whenever he’d bother her. For a good while she’s way too afraid of even being close to him after his jumping because she doesn’t want to hurt him with her flames. Two trusts her in full even after the accident but her ass is NOT taking any risk, he thinks he pissed her off somehow for a while until it clicks when he watches her extinguish whatever little flame she’s fidgeting with on her fingers the second he walks in. “I trust you." (wearily) “Should you?”
PTSD and ADHD, along with some pretty bad sensory issues & maybe Pica.
Had a really toxic situationship with Bev. She couldn't see the red flags until Bev harmed one of her own. Their relationship was broken off the mere second she found out who hurt Two. Literally blew up at Bev and burnt herself out due to being so fucking angry. It parallels Paul's "Why would I like a freak like you" towards Darry with Ace telling Bev "I can't believe I loved a monster like you."
Rarepair/Crackship time. Ace x Cherry is canon. We call them Fireworks. They're very slow burn. Cherry needs to come to terms with her feelings and Ace needs to trust another soc again after what happened with Two n Bev.
OTHER CHARACTER THINGS
All of the Shepards are Vulture harpies.
Paul and Cherry of two of the only socs with powers. Cherry's got something akin to electrokinesis and makes little sparks with her hands similar to the way a bomb with a lit fuse would behave. Paul's a witch, but his manifested pretty late; probably post-rumble.
Cherry's fingertips are calloused from her sparks, and she's got a bit of resistance to fire. Her hair sparks like a bomb/fireworks when she gets super pissed off. Ace has tried to weaponize this for the silly.
She tries to hide her sparks. Wears gloves to keep them down and if she has to have them off will clench her fists, even if it burns her.
She's desperate to be good enough to her parents. They're ashamed of her due to her sparks, and all she wants is their approval.
Cherry's got major internalized homophobia for a while, very comphet. Eventually, she comes to terms it.
Paul tweaked the fuck out at first and had a panic attack before realizing he kinda fucked with it. Still has a huge bias against the greasers, though. It's something close to a god complex, but he just thinks he's superior due to his financial status as well. He's just got basic shit like rituals and spells.
Was convinced Darry was using his power on him when he confronted him about the Fae having loved him, cause he cried. It wasn't a heavy cry, just a bitter stare, "Why would I like a freak like you?", and silent tears. Darry still doesn't know how to feel about that.
(9/18 Edit: Take the Paul stuff ab his relationship to the greasers with a grain of salt, we’re changing stuff)
The only reason it's tolerance and not raw hate is because Paul was NOT in on Two being burned 💀Turned around to see Bev with her light and was just like "Well I guess we're cooking chicken tn????"
The socs who jumped Two wear his stolen feathers. The only socs with neat feathers are Cherry and Marcia.
Two's little sister (who I call Molly) once asked their mom (who I call Carolyn) why they couldn't give Two-Bit their molted feathers to 'fix his'
Ms. Mathews has pretty much adopted the entire group emotionally by now. She tries to help Darry with financials but Darry is. Darry.
MISC STUFF
Two-Bit used to get caught in and fly around tornados and Pony always caught sight of that shit. They liked to play a game where he tried to catch him while Two avoided his vines. If they couldn't get him down, Pony would get Soda to ask Steve to use his telekinesis bc Steve would say no if Pony asked.
They also play a game where Steve will fling a member of the gang as far as he can and Two dives after them. It's like fucked up football; Dally offered to be thrown and it was the most fun the three have had-- until they had to stop 'cause Darry caught them and almost had an aneurysm.
The DX windows used to be blank and empty but Soda and Steve started putting stuff up on them so the harpies don’t slam into the glass.
Steve puts Two-Bit in air jail if he tries snatching anything shiny from himself or Soda.
Two, Johnny, and Steve bond over having shitty fathers. Two n Steve do it the most since Johnny doesn’t like to talk about it, but Steve and Two will bitch to hell and back. Johnny's a part of the conversation but just nods and listens. If they have a rough day with their dads, the three of them end up hanging out together.
Johnny, Dally, and Two make people the most uneasy. Johnny's got these blank, dead eyes, Two's smile feels predatory, and Dally's Dally.
All the greaser Harpies look out for one another. It doesn't matter if they're not from the same gang, or if their gangs have tension; you look out for one another. They may necessarily not be each other's flock, but it’s natural for them to stick together.
The harpies love to play fight. They will absolutely beat the shit out of each other and then grab lunch as if nothing happened. All of the harpies have bird habits. Most of them sleep on their stomach.
Dally took something shiny out of Two's hands when they were kids, and Two cried.
Ace makes fun of Two-Bit's choice of men because they're lesbian and bisexual solidarity. "Thoughts?" "And prayers, you'll need them." The only time she ever was like ‘Wow you made a good pick’ was when he jokingly said it about Darry. "Thoughts?” “Your only good pick, He’s got my blessing.” ">:0"
During the real cold months when Darry has to decide between heating or food on the table, Two and Ace practically move in bc a walking blanket and space heater.
{ Tags List: @nova-drawzz @timewing06 }
67 notes · View notes
temmtamm · 3 days
Note
I need you to write SOMETHING about yan Ford locking up (gn) reader slskxlflwld please I need him,,,,,,,, ogh
It wasn’t an easy feat to do this, y’know??
Really, he’d expect more appreciation on your part. Don’t you see all that he is putting on the line just for you? But, no. He supposes it is to hasty for a wild animal to suddenly get used to being loved and having a home.
And trust, that IS what you are. A wild, stray dog. One he intends on domesticating.
After all, it would do you no good to live on your own in a town like Gravity Falls. Too many creatures who would tear you limb from limb if given the chance.
Really, it’s much more preferable that he found you than the others.
Now, suuure, he may have found you through unconventional ways—But, hey!! Every Romcom starts with miscommunication!!
…His just happened to be him tracking you down after seeing you at the Mystery Shack, finding your home, your family, your first pets name.
It was all in the name of research, however!! Research is what he does best!! He can pick apart and dissect any topic of interest with enough time.
You just so happened to be his latest topic of interest.
“You have to eat, y’know?” Ford knelt down next to your curled in form laying weak on the ground, malnourished, sick, with sweat clinging to your skin and hair that hasn’t been washed in days. No matter, he’s seen worse. He’s lived through worse. They don’t exactly have showers in every single dimension, so a couple months is nothing compared to his nearly 30 years without a shower.
You didn’t respond. That has been your new gimmick lately, he noticed. You’re newest stage of grief.
You’ve already went through anger, bargaining, denial—Now, he just had to deal with your depression before he could get to the sweet ivory bliss that was acceptance.
He’d be waiting with bated breath for when you accepted him and how good this truly was for you, when you’d lean into his touch rather than jerk away.
Maybe then you can finally see more of the house than the basement—So long as you don’t snitch to the others why you’re here.
First things first, however, he needed to make sure you were healthy.
“I said eat.” He huffed, thick bushy brows knitting together as his tone grew more stern. That’s how he usually got his way, he noticed. He had to intimidate you. That’s what he had to do to stop you from stabbing him with his pens, to stop you from using any broken shards of glass to cut yourself, and to stop your from telling him how much you hated him.
Strangely enough, however, it didn’t work this time. If he had to guess, this was your new way of getting back at him, of not giving him the satisfaction of taking care of you. You’d sooner die from starvation than eat anything he cooked.
Too bad he wasn’t letting you. “They always want it the hard way..” Ford sighed, shaking his head before one of his hands jutted out, grabbing at your jaw, already so sore and bruised from the other times when he was…less than kind when handling you. It’d stop if you stopped biting, y’know.
“Glk—“ A choked gag left your lips, your nose wrinkling as your eyes grew misty from the pain. You tried to stay strong, to fight against him, though, inevitably, your mouth parted to let out a cry of pain. “Stop—“
You barely had time before a metal spoon was forced down your gullet, burning hot chili following it. You weren’t allowed solids yet.
Your eyes watered further, feeling it burn at your tender flesh and gums, making you swish it around, desperate to alleviate some of the pain before giving up, swallowing to make the pain, and food go away.
You hated that defeat tasted so good, especially with how you had been neglecting yourself lately.
“There we go,” You hated how Ford cooed even more. “That’s much better, isn’t it?”
A pathetic groan left your lips, with your head ducking back in to hide in your curled up form as he reached out, a rough, calloused six-fingers palm petting and playing with your hair as you laid like a old, tired dog.
…The feeling was soft and sweet, contrasting how tired and sore your bones were.
“There we go…Good dog.”
Tumblr media
138 notes · View notes
pleasantspark · 24 hours
Note
What do you think of this potential 4chan leak that Lucifer is the one responsible for the hierarchy and that Sloth, Gluttony and Lust are considered good sins? https://desuarchive.org/co/thread/145383112/#145394767
> Lucifer created the terrible hierarchy of Hell as well as the Deadly Sins. He is described as a moral neutral sin.
Well, neutral is far cutting it, remember he caused nearly everything to happen in Hell. He's described as sexy, when the only sexy thing about him is his depression. No one pointed out that Lucifer was at fault for all the things to begin with, but no people are like "B-B-B-B-BUT, we needed a story to kick off Charlie!" I feel like it's stupid, also, I am a depressed person and whenever a character who is depressed does something bad, they always have to empthize on the "UWU Depressed shit" which is shit you'd see on r/gachalifecringe or r/gachaclubcringe (Which I am a moderator on, and let me tell you, the Gacha side of the Hazbin Fandom is fucked up.). I feel like most don't care because they'd much rather ship RadioApple then point out the absolute fuckery that is Lucifer himself.
>The good sins are Asmodeus, Bee, and Belphegor. The bad sins are Satan, Leviathan, and Mammon. Beelzebub actively hates the hierarchy and how it treats her hellhounds, but there isn't anything she can do about it.
Okay, first off all the sins are bad, they cannot just pick and choose. For FUCKS sake, you know who her favorite is, the funny thing is, I like Mammon, he's cute and his design/accent are great (But nothing comes greater then Jeice), so she failed at making villains scary when all they are is extremely comical people who suck at villianing and suck at life.
> Leviathan is female and a fashion queen. Alot of Envy will be focused on fashion.
Paint me green and call me a fucking pickle, more backlash would be fucking impossible. Remind me what the fuck does Fashion have to do with Envy?
Sure, people can be envious of others looks, but that ISN'T the only thing possible to be envious of.
Tumblr media
This is Leviathan from my Universe, he's a victim of abuse from his father. (Who by the way died because of the effect he has on people, later on.)
According to Levi's official description on the Wikia:
Tumblr media
Leviathan isn't actually Envious, rather the curse he has causes anyone nearby of him close or not to get envious of him as a person which is the main reason why Agatha is acting out.
This would've been better, but complicated storylines and things pulled from TVTropes isn't what Viz likes. Yes, Leviathan is meant to be Stolas from HB but better, and yes, I DO VOICE LEVI.
So what's the issue with Levi liking fashion? Well, it's obvious that she needs another Diva because at this rate Velvette isn't enough, and most of the fuckers in the Pride Ring seems to be fitted for other rings too.
I feel like she's trying to assign something to these character's to make them unique, but they aren't.
Lucifer is literally the Sin of Pride, and the only thing prideful about him is his fruitiness, so add that to the level of "Bible things that Viv added" he's far from prideful, and that's a fact.
Coming from someone whose gay myself.
Mammon, oh sweet sweet Mammon, is just the Greedlr, but a Fat Nickado Avocado Characters, minus the screaming and fits. And aussie. Because "oooo people with accents arre baad"
Beezlebub, is just, well a Bee, because "HAHAH FUNNI BEE-ZLEBUB" she wanted to relieve her golden years of AMVs and Animation Meme-Esque content, also so she can brush hands with Kesha-Senpai. I swear to fuck, she asskisses alot.
And I am BARELY getting started.
> Stella is a decent mom to Octavia. She doesn't have many powers and isn't summoned to Earth like Stolas is.
If she's such a great Mom, you so claim she is, Viv, then why not show and NOT FUCKING TELL. All we see of her, is the way to make the audience feel bad for a [N word, black POC here. Don't wanna say it.] that ain't shit, Doja Cat was right, he ain't shit.
This is ridiculous, this was seen with Jeffy in SML, he was a hated character, Logan tried every trick in the book to get the audience to feel bad for him (I.E. Giving him an emotional manipulative mom, losing his sister, WITNESSING HIS LITTLE SISTER GETTING MOLESTED, etc etc) but the problem with making an auidence feel bad for the character, it gives a in character excuse to let them continue being pricks without any character development.
In conclusion:
More pointless rep that will be thrown out as soon as it appears
More things to hype up, but ultimately fumble the bag
It sucks
Tumblr media
41 notes · View notes
https://www.tumblr.com/liawaelti/761895822382235648/its-crazy-how-fast-some-barca-fans-have-turned-on
do you think aitana saying the same things as other players holds a different weight for fans or is it really just the fact that anyone who chooses to leave barca will have tomatoes thrown no matter what
Tumblr media
honestly, as much as i hate it, it's the latter. like i've said many times before, there is a segment of culer fandom that turns on and cannibalises its own. 🙄 they are trying to make laia and mariona seem like hypocrites instead of getting to the heart of the matter, which is the stagnation and lack of growth of liga f.
liga f is the absolute worst! (they are also my arch nemesis and have tried to shut down my blog twice but that's another matter!) don't forget that last year levante las planas was playing on an artificial field. there's little to no promotion or sponsorship of the league. and if attendance hits 5.000, that's considered good. 😵‍💫
we cannot deny that there is an exodus of top liga f talent (that's not at barça) to other leagues including wsl, nwsl, and even liga mx femenil!
even though patri and aitana both returned to the selection and made similar comments about why liga f is a shitshow and hot mess, they won't get the same treatment as laia and mariona because they remained with barça. and it pisses me off because mariona gave 10 years of her life to barça and these fans are being ungrateful bastards! 😤
also, i have said nothing has changed with rfef, but even i will acknowledge there were cosmetic changes that did happen that at least made playing with the selection more bearable than what it was like beforehand. the bar was subterranean level, so it wasn't hard to make those types of changes, but there were some. that doesn't take away from these rightful criticisms of the league!
it's a systemic issue. laia and mariona are talking about societal change. look at what happened in england after the euro. i'm sorry to say we do not have anything like that happening in spain right now in the world of futfem. and even progress made within rfef is regressing as you saw from the olympics. and that's what we need to fix!
36 notes · View notes
cynthiav06 · 1 day
Note
With Percy, we know that he hates going to school and his goals don’t really line up with Annabeth’s, but Annabeth is kind of forcing him to do it with her because he can’t say no to her. Say Rick didn’t make Annabeth Percy’s entire personality, what do you think he would’ve done in the mortal world rather than go to university?
I was checking my drafts cause I am trying to catch up on all the asks in my inbox ( as I said in one of my earlier posts I was in middle of a medical situation so I have at least a month of backlog) and found this draft.
The funny thing is I had already written most of the post in the draft version, and this ask wasn't even being displayed in my inbox, so I was very confused as to when it was from.
But it's such a good prompt and a sort of controversial question in the fandom, so I wanted to post it asap.
Percy doesn't like studies, but he knows the importance of it, so I am sure he will finish his initial college, probably either in the science or arts section. We know at one point he got better grades than Annabeth at one point so he certainly isn't quitting studies and doing way better than what people expect. He also wouldn't like just staying at home and doing nothing (I am looking at certain Percabeth stans here), so he definitely would be doing one job or another.
Tumblr media
1.
I don't think he would study marine biology like most believe. After a conversation I had with someone who had taken the course, I am convinced Percy wouldn't like it. It's heavily based on chemistry, and we know how much Percy is affected by sea creatures being mistreated or caged, so having to study marine biology wouldn't really be something he would choose.
2.
An interesting twist would be if he chose to be a writer like his mother.
We all know that Percy writes or at least dictates and narrates the first five books, which are written and narrated entirely from his perspective. Moreover, there are books on Percy just narrating his own sarcastic takes on Greek gods and Greek heroes. What if he did actually catalogue his own adventures in those books as a sort of manual for other demigods on how to deal with certain monsters and gods and such.
Through Percy's thoughts, even as 12 years old, we can certainly say he has advanced vocabulary despite being dyslexic and given how much he admires Sally, why wouldn't he be interested in following her footsteps. Sure, he has trouble reading, but that's not to say he wouldn't love expressing his thoughts through humorous retelling of his own adventures which he can pass as fiction to normal readers but actual experiences in demigod world. Who doesn't want to know the exploits of Percy Jackson?
Plus, it's a good money hack. And don't for a second tell me he wouldn't. Sally petrified Gabe, and then they sold his statute to a museum as a sculpture and earned money off of that. So Sally would definitely encourage it, and Percy would even follow through on it just for shits and giggles and the added benefit of helping demigods and earning money.
[I literally want this to happen just for the Godly reactions. I am all for god slander, especially Zeus slander. Poseidon would be half laughing at the book and half worried cause of the sheer catastrophes his son seems to fall into almost on a daily basis.
Apollo would be having a grand time, and Hermes will be half depressed and half impressed throughout. Overall, it would be hilarious all around, and it might finally make the gods feel a bit more accountable . It's literally the Reading Percy Jackson Series trope, and that's always fun.]
3.
One other option is that Percy will get into environmental preservation, specifically the protection of Rivers and Seas from pollution by actively involving himself and others in its cleanliness and purification. He would also run Beach cleanliness programs.
I think he and Grover would become environmental activists and would definitely get into preserving forest areas and other places where nature spirits dwell frequently. I can see them doing it a lot, long-term wise, too.
4.
I think he would kind of like marine explorations, but that might cause his powers to be somewhat exposed, so he might not do that, but it's a possibility.
That's all I can think of. I would like to hear everyone else's opinions on this.
32 notes · View notes
wolves-and-stars · 3 days
Text
Remus in his Element: FIC REC LIST
(A list of fics where the authors dont fuck up remus lupin, the most brilliant, wonderful man to have existed.)
Okay i would like to preface this by saying that i went throught the 2014 remus lupin is a nerd era (and thats not to say he isn't, just not thr way they made him out to be) and it was the worst. So, here are some fics that give REMUS LUPIN.
1. Subtlety, Thy Name is Sirius Black by rekahneko (ffnet) 21k
Remus thinks sirius needs to be more subtle with his flirting, sirius thinks remus is full of shit. So they make a bet to see who's right. Remus has to manage to subtely get the girl (cough cough) he has a crush on to ask him out, before sirius can agree someone else to ask him out.
Remus is so self assured and comfortable with who he is and what he wants without comprimising on his affection and actual personality.
Fire fic.
2. The lad that loved you by mollymarymarie (ao3) 81k
Remus and Sirius get into a relationship, naturally the next step is to pretend they hate each other and give james a heart attack.
Remus is so sexy in this one. The final chapter is (SPOILER) so fire when he punches snape.
3. Ten reasons (to go to michigan) by greyeyedmonster18 (ao3) 59k
Remus is a newly divorced and a best selling author, unfortunatley he has nothing left to write. So, he books a flight to the upper peninsula where he grew up. He happens to meet a starnger in a coffeeshop, who happens to change his life.
There's a scene with his ex husband, where he throws down his credit card and it is such a breath of fresh air with all the pushover remus characterizations.
4. Dating Remus Lupin by children_of_the_shadows (ao3) 83k
You will never find a fic with such brilliant characterizations of all of the marauders. All 4 of them are so unique and funnily written. Sirius is so unhinged its crazy. Hes giving bimbo, but deliberate bimbo yaknow? And remus. Ohmygod remus in this fic.
He is so emo, aloof, nonchalant. And it drives sirius up the wall. Remus gives so hard in this fic.
5. Sex pistols by Artificialaorta (ffnet) 86k
Remus is the lead gutairist for belladonna a punk rock band. His character is so cool and so sauve, but irl he is not so cool and not so sauve about sirius black, lead singer for pop band the marauders.
I love fics that dont put his character down by making him someone that just gives into everything sirius and james say and do. But still manage to keep him, himself you know?
6. Stalking sirius by remuslives23
Remus is very self assured and confident in the way he acts in this. Hes a journalist that stalks sirius and happens to be the only one that gets under the mysterious mans skin.
7. Highland Fling by Picascribit (a03) 38k
Sirius goes backpacking through scotland and happens to meet a cute bartender at the pub. Except hes staright, lives in america, and set to be engaged.
Again self assured remus. No insecurity or digs at his personality.
8. This is the Life by 1electricpirate (ao3) 15k
After the war, Sirius becomes an uptight, high-ranking Ministry official; but when an old childhood friend comes unexpectedly back in his life, he learns what it is to let go and live and love once more - the question is, will Remus let him?
Love remus in this one.
9. Rumor has it by Remy_writes5 (ao3) 15k
No student had ever figured out why Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin seemed to hate each other so much, and at this point in the year the seniors were done trying. All they had time to focus on now was finals and graduation, although the annual class trip provided a welcome distraction. Three days on a lake with their four favorite teachers and plenty of time to gossip had to be a good time, right?
10. The London Underground Book of Love by Children_of_the_Shadows
The cardinal rule of the London Underground is to never, ever make eye contact. It is a rule that, among many others, Sirius tends to follow despite his otherwise rebellious, non-rule-following nature. So the first time he makes eye contact with a human being in the subway comes as much of a shock to him as anyone else. Especially when he's unable to look away.
Remus is so cute and fluffy in this.
11. Everything's Connected by mizdiz (ao3) 44k
When he's seven years old, Sirius Black has a brief encounter with a strange boy in the woods, who, in their short exchange, teaches him an important lesson about the nature of the Universe, only to then disappear without a trace.
Nine years later, Sirius, along with his two best friends, is a student away at boarding school, with a brand new transfer student as his roommmate--a foul-mouthed, astronomy nerd named Remus Lupin.
Between school, hormones, relationships, and the fact that he is keeping a (magical) secret away from everyone--Sirius' year starts to go a little off the rails.
Not to mention, there's something familiar about that Remus Lupin kid that he just can't seem to shake...
Remus lupin is magic in this one.
12. Play Dates by DeathjunkE (ao3)
Remus and Sirius are Single Parents who meet by chance and become interested in one another.
Remus is just a simple, good, kind, baker.
13. Wizard beat by eprime (ao3) 6k
Sirius is a fanboy.
14. Remus Lupin's Guide to Successful Courting by Children of the Shadows (ffnet)
Remus has lived for twenty five years now. Due to his incapability to emote or feel many complicated things at the same time, he has always maintained a straight face, his facial features sitting at an angle of approximately a hundred and seventy four point two d though he has practiced it many times before in front of the mirror, Remus has truly never smiled.
23 notes · View notes
bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months
Text
okay unironically I love so much that porter is like this world SUCKS its BAD here and it HURTS you why do you care abt it!!! and literally every single bad kid is like ngl we just hate ur ass it does not matter what ur philosophy is
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#not art#fhjy spoilers#its!!! gods I will Be My Ass in the tags rn. but thats so like. deliciously setting typical#like porter's desire is to transcend and his contempt for the world he's in feels. idk Real#like he plays the game bc he wants to win and be done with it. how do I word this#yknow. being a god would like. be his win state. when he gets that happening thats it his story is done he checks out#meanwhile the bad kids do actually just like playing the game lmao. like they love adventuring!#theyre so solidly Of This World. they carry the values that can only be born of it and they like having mastery over it#its a meta angle that I think is very fun specifically for d20 being in such a unique position in the zeitgeist when it first started#the rat grinders are from DnD Writ Large. porter wants to escape. but this is the bad kids' home its Their Actual Play Show#which makes it so fucking excellent to me that porter's question is somewhat of merit! its their show and it tries very hard to punish them#and they just straight up dont listen to him here lmao bc they hate him but! since the moment the academic track ended its been clear#that they save the world bc they Like Playing. With Each Others#thats what riz thinks the core of adventuring is! thats why fig stayed! and I also think thats why this hovers over elmville now and#a dead god is coming back in the school gym. porter is a shit evangelist but even if hes a good one I dont think it wouldve worked like he#wants it to. the only way he couldve escaped is if he'd not involved elmville at all. thats where the bad kids met dude#its a shitty place that fucks with them but they all come back here bc they wanna play with each others#and in that regard I think thats what the stress tokens ultimately means. Is This Game Still Fun To Play. ITS A RAGEQUIT LIMIT#Im literally running from one end to another of this conspiracy board Ive pulled out of nowhere#Ill draw after this I just wanna get this out. gods this episode has done nothing but furthering my delusion of grandeur actually#Im the hottest smartest manthing on earth Im king fucking midas over here. anyways uh! great ep!
316 notes · View notes
lunarharp · 22 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
59 notes · View notes
they-didnt-last · 2 months
Text
anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
64 notes · View notes
yuseirra · 20 days
Text
Tumblr media
this is what I think's happened in the recent chapters
although things are SUPER VAGUE...
29 notes · View notes
pigeonliker420 · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
whatevers wrong with this man i like it
#i didnt expect to like touchstarved from what id seen from its fandom but when i finally tried the demo i was pleasantly surprised#i looked at the meta first cos i do things backwards and. man. what a good reminder that the most vocal fans also are the most stupid#girl you are misinterpreting The Text so badly that what you consider the subtext is suspicious#i felt bad for the leaps i was making from a single prologue but i see you people are jumping straight off the cliff with nothing so nvm#anyway leander do you want to fuck all your friends. do you want to fuck all your friends that hate you leander#i fear them making a green character associated with flowers snakes ouroboros masks and 8s was specifically an attack against me.#if only i hadn't found this like a year before official release. got dam#i could and would go on but the nurse has arrived with my sedative#its actually genuinely hard to pick a favourite they all have aspects i really like so far#at first kuras' subdued personality kind of washed off me but then his ending to the prologue was v fun and put him in a different light#wtf a vn with characters that are all hits for me. unfair#i love that u can ask them all about each other at the end there. love how its modelling its characters social fumbles#in particular given everything the promo material says about leander and vere and how they talk about each other#u can get a picture of a very fumbled situation there lmaooo between leanders savior complex and veres inability to set down real boundarie#butttt you know them all for less than a day... i wanna know what happened there
13 notes · View notes
culmaer-sideblog · 2 months
Text
please forgive me, but I need to complain and over-share or my brain is going to explode please feel free to ignore
#I'm not doing well.#the last two places I worked (in a tourism-adjacent sector) closed. broadly speaking due to post-lockdown financial issues#for the past year at my current job I've been earning less than half what I used to. this was the only offer I got at the time and#I haven't found anything better since. this is not sustainable I'm barely making it each month...#I live with my parents and cancelled my health insurance I don't know how else to reduce my budget. it's depressing tbh#the solution is obviously to find a better job but that's just not happening and I'm beginning to feel discouraged.#I hate being negative it's a very unattractive character trait but I just feel myself slipping and spiraling#I know I should be taking short courses or volunteering to boost my cv but like when ! and how !#I can't afford to work less but I get home at 20h so even evening courses are tricky. I work every other saturday too so weekends are out#and like I do need to rest at some point you can't be depressed and burnt out that's a terrible combo#was looking at a dtp/typesetting short course and 1) I'll need a new computer that can actually run design programs#and 2) the course itself is like 2 month's salaries which I cannot realistically save right now#and yet I'm still ''over-qualified'' for entry level positions because I went to uni. well maybe that's just a polite excuse#because as interesting as my humanities degrees were they didn't equip me with any practical or marketable skills#besides being good at reading and writing. but AI can do that for free now so that's not helpful#I always thought I was reasonably intelligent but I cannot solve this puzzle. there must be a creative solution that I'm missing#but i feel so stuck and trapped#and at least once a week some poor soul stumbles in to the office practically begging for a job so I feel bad for complaining#a little truly is better than nothing#but thank god we elected more pro-business capitalists into government that really is going to be great for us workers (sarcasm)#also I should acknowledge#I am getting some déjà vu. I feel like I've vented about this topic before#the difference is. back then it was a potential concern. now the concern has materialised into reality and rendered the situation desperate
2 notes · View notes
pyrriax · 3 months
Text
ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
4 notes · View notes
im2tired4usernames · 5 months
Text
Every single time I defend someone shitty who has done nothing but be a cunt to me because they did 1 (ONE ) decent thing THEY ALWAYS TURN AROUND AND DO SOMETHING SO MUCH WORSE TO ME
#every single time i praise aomeone for turning a new leaf they fuck me over#my life is continuing getting worse and worse and worse and worse and i really don't know how much longer i want to deal with this shit#if things do not change soon I'm quitting I'll run away and i will never come back#i praise y sister for growing up she steals and then lies about it and i print with out a shadow of a doubt she did it wont admit it#coworker who bums job off onto me dose. one piece of work then fucked off and dowe nothing else all day then spreads rumors i lied about my#moms cancer#like i can pull up her obituary bitch#dad dose 1 nice thing then like let's me go to bed instead of doing all the dishes that accumulate while i was at work#then need day turns me back into a slave#is goin to marry his yandere bitch gf my mother has not been dead a year yet good for him#I'm done#i hate being alive i can't daydream about anything anymore except death#i used to be able to daydream ocs n stories that stopped years ago then it was day dreaming about a better life with my wife#that's hard to believe it'll ever happen in just trapped and my dad constantly discourages me getting independent or doin anything for mysel#no don't get a full time job don't move out you cam never do it no don't try to learn sewing again doing try dnd again doing make new friend#don't do anything to make like nice#I'm allowed Wednesday nights after the kids go to church and that's it and if it clashes with family aucks to be me#and i don't get to make. it up the next day like dad#i cant stand my life i hate it so much#i hate my family minus my four youngest siblings#i hate my job i hate waking up i hate feeling exhausted all the time#being alive is disappointment and work I'm tired of it#I'm tired#i dont want to do this anymore#i need something to change but I'm trapped nothing will change unless i do it#and i hate that I'll probably have to leave ao much behind
2 notes · View notes
cherrygarden · 6 months
Text
,
#i hate being more financially responsible than my parents#I HATE IT#like i've lived through them obsessing over bills and having our services cut many many times and risk our shit being taken from us#and have to listen to my dad making phone calls begging for money from friends and how humilliating that is#and now we're doing a little better but i was raised with that stress and that just doesnt go away#and i see them spend money on shit we don't need and that would be fine if we didn't still have many debts and health issues we keep postpo#postponing bc we don't have money#and since my exchange i've been feeling so guilty about how much money it cost them#and ive talked to them about it when i was applying to give them the chance to tell me no and reconsider#and during it bc i felt like the worst person alive for needing to eat#and after bc i put them in so much debt with my uni that i can't enroll for this semester#and so much shit has happened and ive been feeling guilty and a waste of money and space and most of the time i feel like a shell of myself#and they see it but they dont know what to do because instead of comforting me ever they just put me in a psychologist's office#and just now my mom smiled at me and told me that since they weren't able to give me any presents last year they were talking#and wanted to buy me tickets for lollapalooza this weekend#and i want to go so badly and i entered so many giveaways and stuff but i didnt win so i was also sad about that#but i just looked at her like 😐 because we are definitely not in a financial situation to be spending money like that#like i appreciate the gesture but i've taken enough from them and i already feel guilty#i told her i would feel guilty and wouldn't enjoy it bc they literally don't have the money#and she said ''oh we just can't pay the full amount that we owe right now but we have enough''#???? then put the money on a savings account????? not spend it because you have '''extra'''#which you dont even have!!!!! i told her to prioritise our health bc we all have to get blood work done and exams and multiple doctors and#our general bills!!! like there's more important things that would put me more at ease than a concert which yes would have made me happy#but not like this and not when it's a present out of guilt and inability to know me#and i was crying and she was sad at my reaction and i had to apologise for not accepting it and being like this#literally told her ''i also wish i wasnt like this'' and she said nothing#so that was a fun start to my day :)))))))))#i hate that she thought it was a good idea and i hate that i had to say no#at least i didn't say any of the hurtful things that went through my head so i'll take it as a win#it sucks that we both feel guilty over the uni situation becuase we're both equally at fault
2 notes · View notes