#NOT KNOWING WHAT I'M DOING ANYMORE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

medli20 · 7 months ago

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Garfield Meshi

#garfield #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #shitpost #art #man I don't even know what I'm doing anymore lmao

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forestofsprites · 5 months ago

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tail end of season seven you will always be famous

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why-the-heck-not · 2 months ago

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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))

#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to #sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now #yay? i guess #also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious #also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now #bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree #but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow #now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should #not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually #super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta #just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year #ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr #studyspo #bookblr #booklr #study #november 2024 #2024

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lazylittledragon · 1 year ago

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do any other artists feel like. yeah you're a 'good artist' because you draw things that look nice, but like. TECHNICALLY? you're really not great

i really hate that i can recognise that yes, my art is good, but is it VARIED? is it dynamic?? is my anatomy good? is it full of texture and colour theory? do i know how to do This? can i do That? no, not really. and that's quite painful actually

#ramble #yes this is the artist's perspective bs and yes this is anxiety because it's 1am #and yes i'm forever learning and growing but also #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.#drawing my little guys is fun but i am not good enough for the industry right now and that fucking sucks #i really feel like if i walked into a studio with my portfolio right now they would laugh at me #one of those days where i wish i'd done a more useful degree y'know #i'm going back through the phase where i don't know what i'm going to be anymore and it's scary #some days i really want to give it up and never draw again and do something worthwhile because i Know my life would be easier #and i hate that something i love so much makes me feel so hopeless #signs that i should go to bed ^^^^#i will resume my pity party tomorrow

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thebisexualmandalorian · 3 months ago

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Since ko-fi and paypal are having issues with donations, I decided to make a gofundme. I really appreciate all the help y'all have given so far, and I hate to ask for more, but the struggle is still ongoing.

#gofundme #mutual aid #disability #i don't know what to do anymore #i'm trying #i had to fix it because my name was wrong

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chodzacaparodia · 1 year ago

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it's hard to be a shipper

what ship is on your mind right now?

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letmetellyouaboutmyfeels · 8 months ago

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As if I wasn't already exhausted enough this morning...

It's been brought to my attention that people are taking my fanfics, editing them, and sharing them around. I don't have the words to describe how not okay this is. If you don't like something about my fanfic, then I'm sorry to hear that, but there are a lot of other fics out there you can read instead.

I put time and effort and care into my writing, as does every writer. To take my work without permission and change it feels like someone just punched me in the gut. Frankly it makes me not want to share my work at all and to take down all the writing I do have up, because why should I share anything with people if all they're going to do is decide it's not good enough and they're going to do what they want with it and make it "better"?

And before anyone comes at me, this is not what a transformative work does. This is not the same as fanfiction. I'm fucking exhausted from working two eleven hour shifts over the weekend so my brain is not working so someone smarter and more articulate than I am can explain why. I'm tired.

This genuinely makes me want to take down all my works and not share anything new. It's very simple, kiddos: Don't like it? Don't read it. You will miss out on some fanfics that way, just like you'll miss out on some films, or books, or TV shows. I've missed out on really good fic, novels, films, etc, for the same reason. We all do. It's a part of life. Stuff will sometimes have things in it that you don't like. Skim those parts, fast-forward those scenes, grin and bear it, or just go and read/watch something else.

Normally I would make this post unrebloggable but I worry other writers in this fandom might experience the same thing and not realize it. So people are welcome to reblog this. Anyone who's an ass on it will be blocked, no second chances.

Just. Don't do this guys. Holy shit don't do this. What the actual fuck.

#lincoln writes stuff #911 abc #911 fanfic #yes unfortunately tagging the fandom since that's the fandom it happened in #I'm just #holy fuck #genuinely I want to message every writer I know in this fandom #even if we've never spoken #to like... warn them this is apparently a thing #I wish I could make my brain work right now but I'm so fucking braindead #I'm working three jobs and this is my fun relax safe space except NOT ANYMORE 'CAUSE PEOPLE ARE BEING DICKS #just... don't fucking do this what the FUCK is wrong with you #actual CHILDREN are more respectful holy fuck

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melestasflight · 23 days ago

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Fingon.

Thinking about Fingon all day long because he sang in defiance, your honor, and resolved to heal the feud that divided the Noldor, and he won great praise and then in sorrow took the lordship of the house of Fingolfin. A shadow of doubt fell upon his heart, and even still, his heart was uplifted, and he shouted aloud: ‘Utúlie’n aurë! Aiya Eldalië ar Atanatári, utúlie’n aurë! He sought not his own, neither power nor glory, and death was his reward.

What am I to do with this guy.

#fingon #high king of brainrot #silmarillion #I don't know what I'm doing anymore #trying to write this chapter but I keep getting overcome by emotion

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daily-odile · 7 months ago

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AUGH I’d love to see more time looping odile if possible,,,,, how do you think she’d like; “devolve” over each of the acts as compared to Siffrin over time :O

ok im gonna be honest i did like portrait edits months ago and just never finished them. so here you go

act 3:

act 5:

#some of them are still missing... I'll edit this post if I finish them as well #isat #isat spoilers #odile loops au #day 108 #isat odile #i'm too lazy to individually export them in transparent atm...#tell me if yall ever need it #edit: I FORGOT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION #I mean yeah technically the portraits work but I do have Thoughts about this #I just think that throughout the loops odile becomes more. annoyed. and irritated #Like by act 3 fighting isn't really amusing anymore #dying/getting frozen is. ah. welp #But by act 5 she's just speedrunning #Just super irritated. like die already i've got variables to test #act 3 frozen is a momentary rest; the break is nice and she knows she can get back next loop; it's fine. act 5 is ugh seriously #tired. annoyed. unamused. what a waste of time #anyways wait how long has it been since I posted #(sees date of last post) OH. um #sorry guys I've been busy job (internship) hunting #will I post more from now on? No promises <3 #Thank you for sticking around nontheless... I appreciate all the stuff yall send in my inbox <3 #isat au

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queerum · 1 month ago

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aromantics are way too comfortable implying friendship is the most valuable part of life to bitch about alloros doing the same thing with romance

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hajihiko · 10 months ago

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a long time ago I was like "I bet there are a lot of characters that are both touch-starved and touch-averse" so. Thinks

Impostor explanation: has been around the whole scale as various identities, has a hard time understanding themselves and their own true preference. Tends to just adjust to whoever they're around.

#not an art #sdr2 #super danganronpa 2 #I used to be that combination team! Not anymore. Now I'm just touch starved lol #Akane and Nekomaru are doing so good im proud. I think they both get affection from each other-#-and are also just healthy enough to seek out what they need. Akane had loving siblings and Nekomaru knows the benefits of human touch #Nagito is touch starved but some of it is his own fault. Refuses to seek a solution to this problem (same with Fuyuhiko)#Peko is more touch starved than she thinks but she's so used to pushing her wants aside that she doesn't realize it yet #Kaz actually gets a lot of physical affection because he seeks it out so often! He just also always needs more.#OK thats it bye

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secondbeatsongs · 25 days ago

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going through some old logs, and I need you to understand just how truly unhinged early 2010s RP omegle was.

genuinely you could stay on there for hours with just one person, hashing out complex traumatic backstories, drawn-out love confessions, detailed action scenes...collaboratively describing graphic violence, past abuse, comfort, hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, any number of sex acts...and then one of you would be like, "oh haha it's 2AM! I have to sleep :(" and the other person would say, "omg saaaame. :( gnight!!!" and then you'd exit the chat and never speak to each other again, and this was. fine.

you could just spend an entire evening shoving your wretched, bleeding soul into a chat log with someone you'd never meet or learn the name of, achieve some form of emotional catharsis, and then go about your day or night like this was an average way to spend your time.

I'm really normal about this, actually

#sbs rambles #omegle #it wasn't always serious ofc. there was a lot of lighthearded silliness #but I usually went in for the darker sadder stuff that built up to a happy ending #there's really a special form of intimacy when you and an internet stranger are each controlling a fictional character #and describing them doing things like bandaging each other's wounds #checking each other for bruises. asking them to talk about what they've been through. great stuff!#I hope there are still places where people do stuff like this. like I know there are forums and servers for this but that's not the same.#and I mean. I keep thinking ''there must be other places like this!'' but then I remember the goodbye message when omegle shut down #and...I dunno. the internet is different now #we don't live in that world anymore #anyway if you ever RP'd sherlock stuff on omegle you might have talked to me. :) we might have written something together #and despite it being superwholock-era fandom “cringe”#I'm proud of that #that was a really important part of my life #it was fun :) though I definitely had issues I wasn't willing to confront yet lmao #and I wish I had saved more of the logs :/#oh! I also liked the moments where you'd have to take a break #like you could be right in the middle of something intense and then the other person would be like #(brb I have to finish making dinner for my husband) and you'd say (sure!)#and then 20mins later you'd start up again where you left off

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kaiserouo · 9 months ago

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Well someone has to give it its driver updates, Gabriel

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seventh-district · 9 months ago

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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 3 - Random Screenshot Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

#hsr spoilers #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr textpost #hsr incorrect quotes #honkai star rail memes #hsr memes #honkai star rail meme #hsr meme #stelle #hsr trailblazer #boothill #jingliu #bailu #dan heng #blade #kafka #jing yuan #yanqing #dr ratio #aventurine #sunday #ough so many character tags. what a mess of a post. as always i sure do hope none of these have been done before!#anyways i've once again spent too long on these and can't tell if they're actually funny anymore but oh well i'm still postin' em #i've once again struggled and done my best to make good ID's in the alt text but i still don't know if they're done right aaaaa #also realized while doing so that i forgot to put Jingliu's face over the tumblr post's icon but i'm not fixing it now! just pretend i did #i don't believe i'll make any more like these bc it's harder than you'd think to find the exact images/screenshots to fit with the posts #but these were most of the ones that i felt needed the extra context anyways. now i'll return to my usual lower-effort edits #oh god also ignore how the sandpit one is flipped. i had to do that to get them on the right sides to match the messages 😭

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lazylittledragon · 6 months ago

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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seyvia · 2 months ago

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portrait side by side. Maru - Penny - Leah

#see! I am doing stuff!😭#snail at work🐌#I was gonna post them separate but I don't know what I'm doing anymore😘#seyvia's sims #sdv maru #sdv penny #sdv leah #stardew sims #stardew valley #stardew valley maru #stardew valley penny #stardew valley leah

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