#NOOOOO ILL NEVER GET MY ANSWER WILL I......

[taniushka12]

LAKEHOUSE SPOILERS (vaguely, tangential, but still spoiler)

Man i am SO Happy to see the bookers again like genuinely, I spent this whole YEAR wondering about their wherabouts and hoping remedy wouldn't just abandon them when they had so many little details in the game (plus an Obvious echo to alan and alice) so seeing them again is immensely satisfying 😌

Now I'm worried about them though, this is quite possibly the worst place they could be right now 😬😭

[koishua]

queen of tears spoilers!!

identity is above all else, it seems like. ep 14 of queen of tears ruined me in all the good ways. when the question is "do you want to die as yourself?" vs "are you willing to live at the cost of who you are as a person?", the ultimate answer hae-in gives is no. she'd rather come to peace with the prospect of death with all of her memories of loving and, in turn, being loved coming with her. the death of memories is more painful than the death of her life itself. hyunwoo begging and sobbing in her arms does not deter her, however much she wants to keep on living. as herself. keep on living as the hong hae-in who loved dearly and who was loved, desperately so.

a loss of identity is death to everything that ever had a hand in helping her become who she is now. this brings me to the phrase "death is for the living". the dead do not mourn or face the aftermath of their last breath in the world of the living. the living, those who are left behind, are the ones who truly know what death is. so it is painful when hyunwoo, the man who isn't struck with the terminal illness bound to take her life any time soon, begs almost on his knees for hae-in, the woman who's counting the seconds left she has to live, to give up her sense of self. it's understandable how both of them stand strong in their desires. one fears becoming a stranger to all that she loves and one fears becoming familiar to life without the one he cannot live without. so he does everything in his power to have her take the surgery (all effort is in vain, she will not give up her identity).

i love this episode so much. im still only halfway through it but i had to give my two cents. such a beautifully tragic dilemma of two people who love. one loves by wanting to remember, one loves by giving everything to make her live. have a taste of love again for the first time. he says that he'll be the first person she'll meet and get to know again after the surgery. that he will still be there for her when she wakes up a completely different, empty, and lost person. he wants her to live, does not care if she'll ever even be able to reconnect with him ever again. he believes that she deserves to wake up another day and smile. to still be able to make new memories.

in the end they're both very selfish people who love selflessly.

edit: help me my stomach hurts from laughing so hard oml not him using his face and body card to annoy her into living. using jealousy as a mean to motivate her to take the freaking surgery and live ugh im in tears ahhahahah i love how if she doesn't become convinced the first few times when he's nice, he just intentionally pisses her off or annoys her into doing things to help herself 😭😭 thr only way to get hae-in motivated to live: make her mad at himself and have her do beneficial things out of sheer SPITE

edit 2: NO WHAT THE FOUK JUST HAPPENED POOR HYUNWOO OH MY GOD the way he lost all strength in his knees my god he crumbled in front of her feet he got a taste of what losing her felt like with that massive crash im still in shock i can't imagine having to witness that and trying to get through the car window to help save her and then not find her there?? and then she appears unscathed thankfully and he feels like a bucket of ice cold water drops over his head??? man they have to be so much more careful from now on bc the amount of yandereism the other guy is exhibiting ugh and the evil mother saying she'll help him out with "i can't stop till the moment i die" wtf??? OMG SHE'S GETTING THE SURGERY WHAT WHAT WHAT "i promised i would never make you cry after we get married" WOMAN HE'S BEEN SOBBING HIS SOUL OUT EVERY EPISODE SINCE!!!! 😭😭 ALSO NOOOOO NOT MY BOY SOOCHEOL GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN I CANT TAKE IT PLS MAKE HIM HAPPY WITH HIS LITTLE FAMILY I WILL CRYYYYYYYY he's gonna have MAJOR trust issues lmfao

[goth-girlfriend]

Just wondering and no pressure here! Are you ever gonna finish the Endeavor fic? Love ur works bby and stay safe out there! <3

Yes yes yes 😤😭 Anything for you sweetheart and especially anything for Enji. Take care of yourself ❤️❤️

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“What?” I yawned out loud to myself pushing myself up. My arm was sore from sleeping on it, I looked around and blinked at the light that had made itself known. I tried to push to sit up being held down by a familiar weight. I yawned again, before rolling over under Enji’s arm. I pressed my back against his warm side resting on my arm that wasn’t sore. I pulled his arm around my waist to feel like I was being held in place.

“Ah, security.” I sighed using his shoulder and bicep as a pillow, “Not soft at all.” I snuggled against the firm muscle until I heard a throaty chuckle. His chest shook lightly and I looked up at him he was awake. His eyes lidded from sleep still fighting against consciousness, I watched a faint smile pull at the corners of his lips, I couldn’t fight the most likely idiotic looking grin that surfaced. I laughed and shook my head as quietly as I could. I turned in his arm and hugged his chest. I watched as he moved his free arm behind his head, his bicep bulged at the unintentional flexing.

“Good morning.” I smiled and let my head fall against his shoulder while I looked up at him. It felt perfect, this moment. The morning sun filtered by the beige curtains lighting the room in gold with a few thin slits of white sunlight breaking through. The white duvet stopping at waist, open sleeping shirt, messy hair, pressed into his side sighing content. The rumble of the AC filling the silence, soft breathing, its perfect. In this moment, in this place, there is no history, there is no future, its us in this moment. With nothing to ruin the moment I sighed and closed my eyes feeling the faint heat of his rising chest.

“Good morning.” He finally answered, voice deeper than usual, I felt him shuffle, before I felt his lips pressed onto the top of my head. I felt my eyes flutter involuntary, and my heart swelling. I smiled closing my eyes enjoying the closeness, perfect, this is perfect.

“DDAAAAAAADD!!” I blinked a few times remembering where we were, I watched as he groaned rubbing his face with his hand and sitting up leaving me behind.

“Yes, Fuyumi?” He called starting to stand up doing a few basic stretches.

”Y/N IS GONE DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING THIS MORNING MAYBE SHE LEFT TO GET BREAKFAST?!” She screamed through the door, I watched the door handle jiggle, thanking God I locked it last night.

“Yes, I heard someone moving this morning. It could have been (L/N), why don’t you go look around down stairs, I need to shower and get ready.” He yawned before he stood popping his back.

“Mmm...” there was a pause and some shuffling.

I heard Sho’s faint voice “Fuyumi, look y/n sent me message this morning saying she was going to a nearby convinience store to buy some things she had forgotten. She’ll be back soon.” I sighed thanking God once again that I had told Shoto my password all those weeks ago.

“Alright, DON’T MIND DAD!” She screamed before I heard them walk away, Great, now how am I supposed to leave? I looked around, “Does that window open?” I asked pointing to the window in the room. “It‘s a balcony.” Enji pulled back the curtains revealing an pretty good sized balcony with fancy railing. I was wearing sleeping shorts and a long sleeve shirt with some socks, I‘ll fly down, and just walk back in... but I went to the store.... so I need to come back with something. “Can I have ten dollars?” I smiled sheepishly looking at Enji.“

He sighed before turning to the dresser and pulled out a bill out of his wallet. I grinned and thanked him, “I’ll be back in, five or ten minutes.” I shrugged and opened the Balcony window. Taking eagle form, I dived down into an alley way barrel rolling and lading back on human feet. I walked out and stopped outside a tourist shop. The shop owner was placing out a box of mini hero figures, the same figures from that night we patrolled. These were a new release with the change to get Gold or Silver All Might, Endeavour or Hawks. I got excited and rushed in, I “went to the store”, but I never said what for. the packs were on sale, 2 for $5.00. And lucky for me, I had managed to get a $50. Each box comes with 12 lucky bags each bag has 3 mini figures, there are only 10 Pro hero’s currently released in this line. I have a ten percent chance of getting Endeavour, All Might or Hawks, if you add the 6 new figures to the line thats 16 characters in total. Meaning there are three possible Endeavor, All Might and Hawks,,, But, the chances of getting a special edition, would be 2 of 16 which should be 12.5 out of 100. If I multiply by three that raises the chance 37.5 of 100. So out of all 36 Figures that means I have to at least get 1 limited edition Per box, bu counting in these are the first boxes to pull in customers, they overload the limited ones to make it look easy so people will be convinced to buy them because it’s “easy” to find a limited figure... meaning... “ill give you $50 even for both boxes.”

I turned to look at the cashier guy who seemed unimpressed but nodded, “I usually sell boxes for $30 dollars each but  I feel generous 25 each plus taxes.”

“How about $20 plus taxes.” I counter offered. He squinted at me before he made another offer, we went at this until we were back at my original offer. “Alright, this is my last offer,” he huffed and stared at me hard, “$50 dollars cash, no taxes, and IF you become a Pro Hero you do advertising free for my shop.”

I laughed and nodded, “Deal.” He packed the boxes and I paid him before we parted ways. By the time I made it back to the hotel Fuyumi rushed to me with a look of worry. “Where were yOU I WAS WORRIED?!” 

I smiled, “I was in the middle of a very serious conversation about some very serious things.” 

“A toy store, that bag says you were at a toy store.” Shoto said sounding very unimpressed.

I smiled and let out a sheepish laugh, “well...” I looked down and hid the bag behind me, “I never said I went to buy anything important.” 

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“Ow......ow.......nooooo stop.” I whined feeling one more tug at my hair and finally it fell down.

“There, we’re done.” Fuyumi fluffed my hair a bit before smoothing it out again, “Now lets go, before Natsuo starts causing a fuss.” She ushered me to move and I did leading our way to the elevator.

“Alright,“ I sighed slouching a little... “....Wanna see something cool?” I asked standing back up, Fuyumi cocked a brow by smiled a little, “Alright, I do actually.”

I dug into my pocket and pulled out a gold endeavor figure, “Boom, its your dad.“ I took her hand and placed it in her palm, “You can have that, I have another one.” I smiled when she let out a slight laugh. “Thank you, I’ll keep him with my keys.” We stood in a comfortable silence until the doors opened and we started to move out I asked, “Soooo, what are we doing after this award ceremony?” I asked tilting my head in curiosity.”

“I don’t know, she said he lips pulling to the side in a displeased way, “They didn’t let me plan out this trip so its a surprise for the both of us.” My only answer was to nod while I smiled down at the ground, “Sounds Fun.”

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”Aren’t those kids from UA?” The voices of photographers were loud with there questions as flashes went of left and right, “Why are they with Pro Hero Endeavor?” “I don’t know but these kids could pull in the views!”

“Todoroki! A question if you Will!” “Hey Midoriya Over here!” “L/N! Can you pose for a few photos!” “Todoroki look over here!” Midoriya whats it like to learn from Pro Hero All Might??” “L/N! L/N! Are you affiliated with Todoroki or Midoriya?”

As much as I love getting my photo taken, I knew sticking around for pictures and questions in this scenario is probably the last thing I should do. So instead I stayed close to Natsuo almost sandwiched between him and Fuyumi. I stayed betwen them as we kept moving, Sho and Deku were behind us not rushing, Sho seemed unaffected and Deku was looking down red faced and embarrassed. It was kinda cute. I looked back ahead watching Enji ignore everyone moving forward with purpose and carrying himself with pride. I smiled watching him I know not everyone can see him or respect him as the number one hero but, to me, He can be so much more if only people would give him a chance. I know he’s not the most kind person in public, but with the right sidekick or partner that could change easy. When Hawks was with him those brief days, his like ability actually raised. So I know all it takes is someone pushing him to be more interactive with his fans, he knows now there are some that like him, bit i also understand why it’s so hard for him to accept it...

“Alright, were in, lets go find some seats.”

The ceremony went by slowly, I was bored listening to a bunch of speeches but at least made it look like I was paying attention. I couldn’t even sit by Enji because Fuyumi took my place, and then I managed to get stuck between Natsuo and Sho and they kept talking and we had to refrain from laughing to loud at a few things. Midoriya was so interested in everything that was happening and i started to pay attention when they actually started calling name, Sho and Natsuo stopped after Fuyumi told them to shut up. Which I appreciated now that things were getting interesting. I listened to the awards leaning forward more and more as more hero’s showed up collecting awards and moving on with speeches each with their own rounds of applause. I got this twisted feeling about Eniji going so I whispered to Sho who voiced the idea of us cheering for their dad and Fuyumi praised him for caring about their dad and he took the praise. So when Enji was called for an award of Achievement and a few other things the crowd applauded but how it normaly had so I stood up pulling Sho and Natsuo with me which caused Fuyumi and Midoriya to stand we clapped louder and cheered “For the new Number one Hero!” I screamed and then the five of us cheered more as others started to stand and clap louder. I looked at Fuyumi who smiled back and nodded. After the crowd calmed down and sat he gave a short speech, almost another thirty minutes of closing speech we finally got to leave.

“Finally! I’m free!” I cheered running straigh into Natsuo’s back as he stopped out of nowhere. “My face.” I groaned pushing away from him, it was in that moment I realized how big he actually was, “Wow, you’re actually tall.” I leaned to use his head to block the sun.

He looked back over his shoulder at me, “huh? Did you say something down there?” He... he just... he just bullied me for my height... “I-...” I look esta him and swallowed, “IM TELLING FUYUMI YOURE BULLYING ME!”

I watched his eyes widen and turned to rush to Fuyumi and he screamed, “wait...NO”

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“Natsuuoooooo?” I poked his cheek as he sat pouting arms crossed, “Nat...Suo? Nat... pssst hey Nat, you still mad?” I poked his cheek again and smiled watching him force back a smile. “Come one, you cant be mad.” I poked his cheek causing him to smile briefly before he forced it back again, so I quickly summoned a feather and poked his cheek distracting him before using it to tickle his other side causing him to laugh.

“Alright fine fine, I’m not mad anymore.” He wheezed as I pulled my feather away, plucking it from the air. “A hero’s work is never done.” I gave an exaggerated sigh and he a single laugh kinda like a scoff, “Some hero you are, you get innocent pedestrians hurt to save them.” he crossed his arms and snapped his head the other way, unamused I felt me brows go up, “Innocent? Pedestrian? You?” I paused when he gave me an offended look. “I don’t think so.”

“Natsuo-“ We turned to look at Shoto, the two of having been sitting outside on a stone bench after Fuyumi scolded him strongly and I pulled into it.

“Yes?” He asked standing up and popping his back.

“Our father, asked if you could head back with Fuyumi to the hotel to pick up her bag of clothes. She left it when she was rushing out. Well meet for lunch before we do anything else.” Shoto said leaning his head to the side slightly.

“Oh,” he looked at me and then over his shoulder at the doors we had both just sulked out of, “yeah, well take a Taxi. I’ll get Fuyumi and we’ll leave.” He nodded and turned to leave.

I moved to stand by Sho, “So?” I asked elbowing him slightly, “how was last night?” “Well, I could ask you the same.” He side eyed me, “Take your phone with you next time you jump out a window.” I didn’t miss the amusement in his eyes, “Right,” I nodded and he closed his eyes a small smile on his lips. “Now, where are we going for lunch?”

“Oh! I read about this American style fondue place! It’s supposed to be really good! So I kinda wanted to try it and I was going to suggest it but, it’s pricey so, eheh, ya know.” I shrugged and Shoto’s brief look of amusement came back, you want what Kaminari told me is a Glucose Guardian, someone who pays for what you want.” I choked, “Sugar daddy.”

“What?”

“What. Nothing, so, lunch? I’m hungry? Also I’m riding in front move.” I rushed past him jumping into the passenger seat before he followed after Deku had met him. I was buzzing in my seat and the took Enji’s hand the moment he was sat and started driving, I squeezed his hand staring out the window, watching the building and cars pass. It felt so nostalgic, but how could it be nostalgic?

“Where are we eating?” I turned to Enji at his question, before looking at Sho through the mirror, “There’s this place Y/n was talking about.” I felt a squeeze to my hand meeting Enji’s stare as he looked at me briefly before looking at the road, “Where is it?”

I smiled and used my free hand to grab my phone, “it’s not to far from here, we should be able to make it in ten minutes if traffic is good.” I clicked away typing the address, “Yup, go straight, take a right at the light, and it should be a large glass building on the corner! It’s a fondue place, more American style!” I tried to talk and explain while squeezing Enji’s hand at the excitement I was feeling. Upon getting to the restaurant we waited a while, having sent Fuyumi and Natsuo the address we waited at least half an hour until we got a call.

“Dad, I don’t think we’ll be able to do lunch today, a really bad wreck caused a traffic jam on this side of the city, it’s an estimated two hour wait until we can move, well find a place to eat once we get closer if you all want to go ahead and eat we’ll be fine.” Before he could answer Shoto spoke “Thank you for your sacrifice.”

“We should go then?” I questioned looking around the car.

“Yes.” Enji said turning the key and opening his door to get out.

After we all got out the car, we started our way towards the restaurant. I awed at it, we made it in met with a nice man, “Welcome to The Melting Hot Pot! How many will be in your party?”

We all looked up at Enji, “Four.” We all nodded, it felt as if we were judging him.

“Would you like a private room or to be seated in our public seating area.”

“Private.” He nodded and the host nodded, “You can follow me this way.”

“Will this be you’re first time dining with us?” We all slid into seats in the large luxurious looking booth, it’s was in a room with a sliding screen door for privacy.

“Yes it will.”

“Great! I’ll give you the crash course before you’re waiter comes to attend to your table.”

After about seven minutes and looking at a menu the Host left and we started to talk about what sounded good.

“Wisconsin cheddar cheese?” Shoto asked.

“Flaming turtle... sounds painful...” Midoriya was staring at the opposite side of the menu.

“Maybe... we should start with a salad? Before we start looking at the fondue, there’s.. Wisconsin Wedge... California... Caesar... and a house, so, what sounds good?”

We tried to talk it out but no luck, we ended up right where we started, until Midoriya looked at Enji, “Mr.Endeavor sir,” I held back a laugh.

He hummed staring at Deku, his face didn’t change making him seem angry or annoyed, “What?”

Midoriya flinched.

“Maybe you.... you have more experience with this than we do, do you have a-any... advice?”

Enji nodded, “Get a California Salad, you’re allowed two cheeses, well get the Wisconsin Cheddar and Quattro Formaggio, for entree you’ll get a classic plate that comes with Pork, shrimp, chicken and steak cooked in a Mojo style broth, and for two desserts you’ll get a flaming turtle and Yin & Yang mix.”

We all stared at him, “Have you been here before?” I asked interested.

“No,” he held up a rectangular piece of plastic lined paper, “It’s a recommended course.”

“That’s very convenient.” I mumbled and we all looked as our waiter slid the door open finally entering.

“Hello, sorry for being late, what can I bring you to drink.”

“A tea, please.” Shoto and Midoriya spoke at the same time.

“Alright, two sweet iced teas,” and for you, she turned to me, “A spirit free watermelon cooler.”

“Good choice, and for you sir?” She turned to Enji who was looking at the menu, “A Billionaire’s Coffee.” He didn’t even look at her.

“Alright,” she looked at us, “I’ll get your drinks and be right back to take your order.”

She left and we casually just sat there looking around at the decor.

“I like the low lights, it’s nice kinda cosy.” I talked out loud to no one, before I looked at Midoriya locking eyes contact, “perfect place for a date.”

He chocked on air and brought his arm to his face blushing stuttering out things I didn’t understand. I laughed a bit, enjoying the show before he calmed down when the waiter appeared.

“Alright, what are we getting?” She looked at us and all I did was look up at Enji, he sighed, “We’d like to try the Complete Fondue experience for four.” He tapped the plastic with his finger and she noted it, “in that exact order.”

She nodded again, “An exact copy of the full experience, now before I head out, does anyone want to add a lobster tail or any extra meats to their plates?”

“No,”

“No thank you.”

“No, I’m good.”

“No.”

“Alright then, I’ll be turning on the burners, they will get hot, please do not touch them.” She pulled out a small metal stand with a promotional flyer and placed it on the burners before she left.

“I’m excited.” I reached over under the table and took Enji’s hand and brought it back to my lap squeezing his bigger hand between mine.

His hand squeezed mine, I smiled up at him before looking down at his hand, callused, warm. Scars were present but hardly noticeable, I ran my thumb over his knuckles, losing myself in the patterns I began to draw, feeling myself fall into a feeling of nostalgia.

“Y/n,” I looked up at the sound, “Hm?” I hummed in response looking around.

“Are you fine?” Shoto asked his voice soft but his brows were furrowed.

“Yeah, just thinking about school and the internships.” I shrugged, “We’ve been through a lot with everything that’s happened, it’s hard to believe we’re just first year.”

“Hm.” Shoto nodded and I pulled a hand up and lates it palm up on the table.

“Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I see and the more we do, it kinda scares me,” I looked at a scar it ran from the side of my wrist to the back of my hand, it was a deep wound from my Internship, “But seeing everything also makes me realize,” I balled my fist up smiling, “There’s so much space for new hero’s to rise and it excites me knowing one day I’ll be out there fighting for a chance to be number one.”

“Ambitious.” I flinched at the waiters voice who slid the door closed as she entered, “You must be in a hero school then.”

“I, yes, I am.” I nodded and looked away.

“I’ve never heard of you, you must not be that well known. Everyone however would be able to notice our lovely new number one hero Endeavor.” She smiled and patted Enji who just gave her a side eye and she quickly pulled her hand away.

I let out a mix of a scoff and a laugh, “You must live under a rock, or be uncultured, I’m from UA, were our sports festival is streamed publicly almost everywhere throughout the prefecture and surrounding cities, not to mention I was in the news quite a few times with Endeavor and Pro Hero Hawks, I was on headlines and on front page covers of newspapers and magazines, if you can’t recognize me it really goes to show what kind of woman you are.” I made a face and she made a face back.

Before we started a stare down another person walked in, “Alright, here comes a hot pot, everyone be careful.”

As the second waiter was setting up the meal I couldn’t help but mumble to myself, “Bite me, it’s what rabid dogs do anyways.”

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After eating and Midoriya and I burning ourselves multiple times on hot cheese fondue we finished our desserts and started to head out.

We stepped out into the dark, the afternoon sun had set and the cities night life was crawling out into the streets, lights lit up outside patios, rooftops had flames lit lighting tables, tinted windows were lit up showing the chandeliers that hide during the day. Ladies in fancy dresses and men in suits and flashy attire. It was in that moment I realized how wrong our relationship is, I’m in UA, I’m only 16, sure the consent age is lower then that but, I, this is morally wrong in some eyes... I could ruin Enji’s career if anyone ever found out... I felt a sense of worry fill me. No one knew, I didn’t care before. So what scares me now?

“So! What are we doing tomorrow?” I looked at Enji and Shoto as we walked, Midoriya was unintentionally hidden by Shoto.

“It’s a surprise.” Shoto answered very bluntly and I squinted at him, “Very helpful.”

“How are Fuyumi and....” I paused the name leaving me and looked down, embarrassed, thinking, his name just couldn’t be Naruto because it’s pretty close to that anyways, “Natsuo! Heh! I remembered.”

“Fuyumi messaged me, they tried a curry at an Indian restaurant near the hotel, Natsuo also now holds the title for eating a plate of the spiciest curry in under an hour.” Shoto said flashing us his phone which had a very red smiling Natsuo holding a certificate and a $200 dollar check.

“That’s... impressive.” I was impressed, but it seemed like a painful thing.

I felt my phone buzz, I answered if, “Hello?”

“Hey y/n! It’s Fuyumi, I’d you don’t mind when you get to the hotel can you stop by the hotel shop and pick up something for indigestion or upset stomach, maybe heart burn?”

“Oh,” I smiled, “Yeah, I can do that, we’re on the way back about to get in the car, the streets are empty so we should be there soon, so, I’ll get it for you.”

“Thank you, sorry for the burden but I feel bad for leaving Natsuo while his stomach is hurting this much.”

“Don’t worry! I’m a hero, it’s what I do.” I smiled getting into the car as we reached it.

“Still, thank you y/n.” She sounds like she was smiling, I could feel it, in that moment how much she really cared for her family. It kinda warmed my heart in a way I can’t describe.

“Alright, see you then.” I ended the call and explained everything on the way over, Enji sighed and rubbed his forehead before pinching the bridge of his knows shaking his head. I smiled, noticing the edge of his lips twitch upwards a bit before he forced it down mumbling out Natsuo’s name and something I couldn’t hear.

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[strawberryteaprincess]

The Class Group Chat

17 23, Tuesday

"Caline Bustier" created this group.

Caline Bustier: Good afternoon class. After some fatal incidents with akumas, the school has decided that a group chat is needed for each class, so evacuation is easier and we can be alerted quicker of a student is trapped, ensuring the safety of all students and making Ladybug and Cat Noir's job less stressful.

"Doggo" has joined.

Doggo: Oi mates!

"Sk8r Girl" has joined.

Sk8r Girl: lol

Caline Bustier: Kim and Alix, please use your real names.

Doggo: Awwww

"Sk8r Girl" has changed their name to "Alix".

"Doggo" has changed their name to "Kim".

"Alya", "Rose", "Max" and "Nathaniel" have joined.

Alya: hey y'all!

Rose: hiiii 😊

Max: Good evening everyone.

Nathaniel: Hello

Caline Bustier: Good evening Max, Rose, Alya and Nathaniel.

Rose: is Juleka here

Max: Negative

Rose: really?😦 she said she was in

Alya: maybe its her wifi

"Juleka" has joined.

Rose: juleka!

Juleka: Hi.

"DJBoi" has joined.

DJBoi: Oops

"DJBoi" has changed their name to "Nino".

Nino: hi everyone!

Rose: hi! 😁

Max: Good evening.

Juleka: Hi.

Alya: hey babe ;)

Nino: Hey babe 😚

Caline Bustier: Nino and Alya, please keep all affectionate texts in private messages.

Alya: sorry ms bustier

Nino: oops

"Sabrina", "Queen Bee", "Mylene" and "Ivan" have joined.

Sabrina: Hi!

Alya: hey Sabrina

Nino: 'sup

Mylene: Hello

Queen Bee: Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!

Alya: ???

Alix: the heck Chloe? 😑

Caline Bustier: Alix, please do not use vulgar language in this chat.

Alix: Sorry mademoiselle

Nino: where's Ivan?

Mylene: he's offline. probably napping

Alya: where's ma girl Marinette

Nathaniel: she never joined

Caline Bustier: May someone please remind Adrien, Marinette and Lila to join the group chat?

Alya: ill get marinette

Alya: marinette isn't home and she isn't answering her phone.

Nino: I'll try and reach Adrien

Nino: DUUUUUUUUDE!!!

Caline Bustier: Nino, please do not display such behaviour.

Alix: this isn's private chat you dummy

Caline Bustier: Alix, I said not to use vulgar language.

Alix: 😶 sorry miss

"Adrien" and "Marinette" have joined.

Adrien: Hi, sorry for coming late.

Caline Bustier: It's alright, Adrien.

Alya: Gurlll, where r u?

Rose: where's marinette?

Adrien: she's here

Alya: we know that but where is she?

Adrien: and I said here.

Nino: where's here???

Adrien: in the locker room

Alix: wth are you two still doing at school? its 5 o'clock?

Caline Bustier: Alix.

Alix: sorryyyyyyyyy

Alya: ooooh, you two doin dirty stuff? ;)

Adrien: what's that?

Rose: don't poison the child Alya 😡

Alya: oops, sorry

Caline Bustier: Adrien, what are you doing in school his late and why is Marinette not responding?

Adrien: Marinette's trying to connect to my hotspot

Marinette: hi, what'd i miss?

Alya: why are you in school so late?

Marinette: what?

Alix: don't try to lie. Adrien told us

Marinette: *privately to Adrien* you told them where we were???

Adrien: *privately to Marinette* yes, why not? we jumped in here after the akuma attack

Marinette: *privately to Adrien* you're jeorpadizing our identities!

Adrien: *privately to Marinette* plz ur overreacting. im sure there are other things people would think we were doing

Marinette: *privately to Adrien* like what???

Adrien: *privately to Marinette* like eating pasta or doing silly dances or just chillin in a locker room

Marinette: *privately to Adrien* think of a good excuse or no kisses for a month

Adrien: *privately to Marinette* :( umm, we wanted to study and feel the aura and illusion we were in school for upmost concentration?

Marinette: ...youre a moron

Alya: excuse me???

Marinette: shoot, that wasnt for you

Caline Bustier: Marinette, please do not use such vulgar language in this chat.

Marinette: sorry miss bustier

Nathaniel: wait, so u two are in the same room but talking thru private chat???

Marinette: ...

Rose: okay, now what were you two doing? 🤨

Nino: yh dudes, what?

Caline Bustier: Yes, I would also like to know. School is closed and both of you should not still be in the locker room.

Marinette: uh, we...

Marinette: *privately to Adrien* THINK OF AN EXCUSE QUICK!

Adrien: how about... we were making out in a locker?

Marinette: PRIVATE CHAT YOU DUMMY!

Adrien: shoot

Alya: 😱😱😱

Nino: WHAT?!

Rose: 😨

Nathaniel: wait, what-

Queen Bee: WHAT??!!!

Mylene: 😯

Kim: 😱😂

Marinette: NOOOOO THATS NOT WHAT WE WERE DOING!!!!

Alix: LOLLL U EXPOSED MAR 🤣🤣🤣

Marinette: I FREAKING HATE U RIGHT NOW AGRESTE 😡😡

Adrien: :'(

Caline Bustier: Marinette, Adrien, please watch your language in this chat.

Queen Bee: RIDICULOUS, UTTERLY RIDICULOUS!

Alya: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE DATING!!!

Alya: BESTIE YOU BETRAYETH ME!!! 😡😡😡

Alix: ROTFL

Nino: DUDE TMI

Caline Bustier: Please stop misusing this chat.

Alya: gurl where r u?!

Nino: dude, i think shes dead

Alix: she def killed Adrien lolll

Mylene: i cant believe they were dating!

Kim: Marinette is definitely not showing up to school tomorrow

Max: I apologize everyone. My internet logged me out of our chat due to some problems. What's all this about Adrien and Marinette dying?

Kim: read the chat

Max: Oh wow. I did not predict this.

"Lila" has joined.

Lila: Hey guys, what'd I miss?

...

im now posting on mondays and saturdays, just in case anyone would like to know

[1800queeragenda]

“Children Won’t Understand”

I really need to talk about something that happened to me this morning, and I figured that this story might touch a few other queer individuals out there.

So I was getting my haircut with my grandma, and she was watching over one of her great-granddaughters, AKA one of my cousins. The hairstylist was trimming my hair, and she was complimenting how short it was and how it framed my face better, that kind of thing.

Because of this, I mentioned that I liked the hair because it made me look and feel more masculine/boyish, and she chuckled out a “nooooo!” like she figured I had to be joking. I said I wasn’t, and when she asked why, I answered “I’m Genderqueer!” I wasn’t offended or anything. She was around my grandma’s age so y’know, I expected her to react like that at first.

For me, Genderqueer is a label I use to describe the very complicated feelings I have with my gender identity. A lot of times I can barely understand myself and my very emotions due to my mental illnesses. My identity feels like it very vaguely fluctuates between “femboy softchild” to “Ah yes, gurl” to “brrrrrrrrrrrrrr” to “everyone who likes me is gay.”

I don’t feel comfortable identifying as genderfluid or multigender or any mono-gender because most feel limiting for me in some way, and I’d identify with a micro-label but it’s hard to get pride-merch for the ones that I feel fit me the most. I started identifying as genderqueer because it’s a very wide umbrella term that describes both nonbinary genders and gender-non-conforming men and women. It’s also a political identity, and I’m all for tearing down gender-norms and making queerphobic cishets cry.

To simplify all this, genderqueer for me basically means “I have no idea what I am at this point, but I’m probably not completely cis. I am a deity and I reject your binary labels.” This part of my identity is a lot more established and a lot more important to me.

So imagine how I felt when my grandma looked at me and said, “Let’s not talk about that in front of the child.”

“Why? It’s not a bad word or anything.”

“I know, but children won’t understand it.”

Children won’t understand it?

Children aren’t nearly as stupid as adults think they are, and explaining identities other than “male” or “female” in a simple manner is not nearly as impossible either. You want to know how I would have explained to my cousin my identity? “You know how some people are boys and some people are girls? Well, some people can be both and some people can be neither. That’s what being genderqueer and/or nonbinary is!”

You don’t need to perfectly explain what being nonbinary is to a child. That simplified explanation will suffice until they grow older. To avoid the discussion of nonbinary genders in front of a child is just being queerphobic, plain and simple.

I love my grandma, I do, but what she said really, really hurt my feelings. I have a pride flag hung up in my room; she helped me hang it up actually. She’s also seen my genderqueer flag. She knows I bind sometimes. She has never really said or done anything like the incident above until now.

I want to talk to her about it but I’m too nervous to do so. I stayed quiet after that brief conversation. I got to vent to a co-worker of mine so I feel a bit better now, but at the moment, it still stings. I’m also worried for my cousin, she was right there when my grandma said that.

[thelov3lybookworm]

eheh you thought you will get rid of me so easily???

The haunting smell of citrus and night-blooming jasmine was enough to make you feel nauseated, the thought of you being safe in his bed while he laid trapped in another was too overwhelming.

already feeling the sadness im about to experience🥲

The male sealed the distance for you, pulling you into a warm embrace as you wrapped you arms around him in turn

🥹🥹🥹🥹

"I missed you" he said the words you had longed to hear. The three words that told you he had thought of you just as you had him. But instead of the yearning in his voice that you had dreamt of hearing, there was only sadness.

🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

"It's over" he confirmed, moving his supportive hand over yours on the cold stone of the balcony, "I'm not going anywhere."

LIESSSSS 🫵🏻🫵🏻🫵🏻

The one you're hoping still loves you.

why would you say that 🥲🥲🥲

But there was always the hope that with time, with the love of his family, you may be able to draw the light out of the shell of the man before you.

☹️☹️☹️

But now, standing on the balcony next to him, you weren't too sure. A dreadful realization of truth burning in your chest, you would not be the one to mend Rhysand. To pick up the pieces and lovingly sew them back together for him. No, his expression told you that much.

@milswrites maam im going to sue you for this

There was always the possibility that he would have moved on in the years you were apart, perhaps needing a crutch to get him through his darkest hours. You had just prayed that the Mother was gracious enough not to allow it to be so. But it appears the cauldron had already made that decision for her

STOPPPP FUCK OFFF NOOOOO

"Beautiful" he said wistfully, eyes turning to the stars that were dancing above you

YOU BASTARD NOO THAT IS THE WRNG ANSWER

"We never had a chance did we?"

🥲🥲🥲

His thoughtful eyes searched your dejected ones, eyebrows knitted together as he spoke carefully, "I think we did. A long time ago. But a lot can change in fifty years...a lot has."

😟😟😟

You nodded along with his words, a silver tear slipping down your cheek as it was your turn to cast your watery gaze to the sky in order to avoid Rhys's penetrating eyes.

His violet eyes flashed with pain, lip trembling as he replied, "you too my love. I wish you everything and more."

fine. i guess ill just die then.

Out of the Mountain

Rhysand X Reader

Summary: It has been 50 long years since you last saw the man you love. With Amarantha's tyrannous rule finally at an end, Rhysand returns to Velaris. Only he's not the same male as he was when he left and with the discovery of his newfound bond with Prythian's saviour, it's time to learn the true meaning of letting someone you love go free.

Warnings: Angst and sadness :(

You were the last to hear the good news. Amarantha was dead. Prythian had been freed by a woman from the mortal lands. Rhysand had been freed.

It had been fifty torturously long years since you last looked into your love's violet eyes. Fifty years since you last felt his comforting embrace, since the promise of seeing you soon left his tender lips before he winnowed away, never to be seen again. Until now.

It had been agony. Trapped in the hidden paradise of Velaris, unable to go and help your love, never knowing how he was faring in the depths of that wretched mountain. Spending each tedious day wondering if the male was thinking about you just as much as you were him.

~~~~~

You were convinced you were dreaming when Mor showed up at your door. A crooked smile on her face as she told you it was over, that her cousin had finally returned, that he was safe in the proximity of his court once more. But her dark eyes told a different story, one of bleak suffering and heart-wrenching sorrows. That Rhysand had returned, but he was not the same man who had left.

This you had anticipated. You had always suspected that if Rhysand was fortunate enough to return, to leave the mountain with his life intact, that he would no doubt be baring the scars, both mental and physical, of his years entrapped in the soul-sucking caverns.

It took you an hour to compose yourself, to allow the tears you didn't want the male to see run dry. Tears born from both the joy of his return home and the fear of what you were about to witness. The thought alone of someone you love being in pain felt like a treacherous stab to the gut.

Once you were ready, with watery eyes and a sniffling nose, you made your way towards his room, to where Mor said he had escaped to. To where he was waiting for you.

~~~~~

You inhale deeply, attempting to quell your tears at the sight of his door. At what was once your door too before you found yourself unable to sleep in the room without him during his absence. The haunting smell of citrus and night-blooming jasmine was enough to make you feel nauseated, the thought of you being safe in his bed while he laid trapped in another was too overwhelming.

And so, for the first time in fifty years you found yourself pushing open the heavy wooden doors, eyes scanning the inside of the room for the familiar sight of your love.

"Rhys?" you called tentatively, stepping inside and drawing the doors to behind you. Moving further into his room before noticing the shadowy figure standing on the balcony outside.

"Rhysand?" you repeated his name, fearful of startling him, not knowing just how deep trauma’s grip on him was.

The male turned to face you as you glided through the glass doors to join him outside. The cooling, fresh breeze of night kissing your cheeks, helping some in quelling the rising wave of anxiety inside you that began to swell after Mor's appearance.

"Hello love" Rhys cracked a small smile as you cautiously walked until you were next to him, standing on the edge of the balcony as you overlooked the glistening city below.

You made to hug him, but stopped yourself, afraid to be the one to initiate contact, just in case the action was too much for him for handle.

The male sealed the distance for you, pulling you into a warm embrace as you wrapped you arms around him in turn. Nose pressed deeply into his chest as you absorbed his smell, exactly half a century and that hadn't changed at all.

You must have stayed in his hold for almost ten minutes. A few pearlescent tears being shed between the pair of you, but otherwise you stood in silence. Senses consuming every bit of him they possibly could.

It was Rhysand who pulled away first, arms falling from you as he instead moved to rest them on the edge of the balcony, you following suit as you placed yours beside his on the stone.

"I suppose we better talk" he said with a melancholic sadness, violet eyes unmoving from the city below.

A simple yes was all you could respond.

~~~~~

A few somber minutes passed before Rhys spoke again, his eyes now moving from the scene below to watch you next to him. "I missed you" he said the words you had longed to hear. The three words that told you he had thought of you just as you had him. But instead of the yearning in his voice that you had dreamt of hearing, there was only sadness.

"I missed you to Rhysand" you confessed, "I was so mad at you. For the wards you placed. I would have come running right after you if they didn't stop me from leaving."

"I know...I know" he flashed you a pitiful attempt of an appreciative smile, "That's one of the reasons I had to do it."

"It's really over?" you asked seeking reassurance, needing to hear that he was really here to stay.

"It's over" he confirmed, moving his supportive hand over yours on the cold stone of the balcony, "I'm not going anywhere."

Releasing a sigh of relief, you allowed your tense body to relax slightly. Hearing the words from his own lips were the only confirmation you needed. "Your back" you allowed the slither of a smile to cross you face as you said this, allowing yourself to momentarily celebrate the return of the man you love. The one you're hoping still loves you.

"I'm not the same" he stated, that ever-present sorrow still pouring from his shaky voice.

"No one expects you to be Rhys"

And it was true. Not a single one of you expected your laughing, carefree Rhysand to be the one who escaped from the mountain, the shadow of the man he used to be will always remain deep in the tunnels of Amarantha's stone cage. But there was always the hope that with time, with the love of his family, you may be able to draw the light out of the shell of the man before you.

But now, standing on the balcony next to him, you weren't too sure. A dreadful realization of truth burning in your chest, you would not be the one to mend Rhysand. To pick up the pieces and lovingly sew them back together for him. No, his expression told you that much.

"I found my mate."

There it was. The cursed words that you felt hovering in the air the moment you were in his presence. The truth that hid in his sorrowful face when you first saw him, the darkness that found it's home in Mor's eyes at your door.

There was always the possibility that he would have moved on in the years you were apart, perhaps needing a crutch to get him through his darkest hours. You had just prayed that the Mother was gracious enough not to allow it to be so. But it appears the cauldron had already made that decision for her.

"What's she like?" you asked, swallowing your sob, allowing the nip of the chill in the air to distract you from the pain you felt inside.

"Beautiful" he said wistfully, eyes turning to the stars that were dancing above you, "Stubborn, determined. In love with another male." His words turned to venom as he spat the last statement from his lips.

"Does she know?" you questioned, unable to stop your curiosity from seeking the answers you desired. Maybe...maybe if she knew and she were in love with another man there was still the chance this wasn't over. That this conversation was just the confession of a hurdle Rhys needed to leap over before you could truly be together again.

"No" he answered simply, jaws locking as he refused to tear his eyes from the stars which he had no doubt missed in his time under the mountain.

"Oh" was your response, unsure of what else to say to the male.

Rhys released a deep sigh as he squeezed your hand with his, you could tell he was trying to find the words he needed to say.

Taking the initiative you said them for him.

"We never had a chance did we?"

His thoughtful eyes searched your dejected ones, eyebrows knitted together as he spoke carefully, "I think we did. A long time ago. But a lot can change in fifty years...a lot has."

You nodded along with his words, a silver tear slipping down your cheek as it was your turn to cast your watery gaze to the sky in order to avoid Rhys's penetrating eyes.

"We were fun weren't we"

A sad laugh tore from your lips as you spoke. Your vision, which was locked on one singular bright star in the sky, began to blur.

"Yeah, we were" Rhys smiled softly, once more squeezing your hand in comfort, "We've shared some great memories."

"It's just time to make our own...separately" you mournfully stated, drawing your hand from his to wrap your arms around yourself, trying to protect yourself from the increasingly colder chill which was settling in your bones.

"Separately" he confirmed, "...You'll always be my what if. But this, whatever this is, I have to chase it."

The tears now flowed freely, liquid moonlight running down your shaking cheeks as you struggled to stay in control of your cries, "I hope you get your happy ending Rhysand. I really do. I can't think of anyone who deserves it more."

His violet eyes flashed with pain, lip trembling as he replied, "you too my love. I wish you everything and more."

[ballofray]

what about 21 with ler!techno and lee!tommy?

Maybe Tommy got caught stealing some of technos stuff or smth

The idea of Tommy getting caught stealing from Techno has always kinda been in the back of my mind and now I get to write it today is a good day

Also, it came to mind that you probably wanted Tommy stealing stuff from Techno’s house in the SMP but I did it where they just live in the same house and Tommy’s being a little shit so I'm sorry-

21: “I’ll give you five seconds to run.”

Techno never took off his crown.

It looked like it weighed a decent amount. Wasn't it a hassle to keep on all the time? Did it fall off often? If he kept it on all the time, then it must be comfortable, right? So what would it feel like if Tommy wore it?

Tommy had been wondering these things for quite a while now. And he decided that if he wasn't going to get an answer from Techno, then he should find one himself.

He opened the door to his older brother’s room, peeking inside and taking a glance around. Is this considered an invasion of privacy? He'll just be taking Techno’s crown, so as long as he doesn't go around snooping through his stuff... It should be fine right?

Tommy took a few steps inside the room, looking around to make sure nobody saw him. He felt like a criminal. Spotting Techno’s crown on top of a dresser in the corner of the room, he quickly stumbled his way towards it, gently reaching out to pick it up and being careful not to drop it. The last thing he wanted was to break Techno’s property. As he picked it up he quickly realised that it was much lighter than he first thought it would be - a pleasant surprise considering his goal was to try it on and he wasn't sure if he would like having a heavy ass crown on top of his head.

Tommy lifted the crown above his head and put it on, only for it to immediately fall over his eyes. He let out a small snicker and pushed it back a little, to ensure that the front of it it would stay at his forehead. The crown was surprisingly comfortable. It didn’t look that way when Techno wore it, but honestly, Tommy could see now how the pinkette can wear this about the place.

Tommy took one look in the mirror and instantly decided that he was stealing the crown. He knew it’d be a short-lived theft, he was bound to get caught soon, but he wanted to feel like a king. This must be why Techno is so confident in everything he does. The crown just hits different, you know?

The teen walked out the door, head held high as the crown still sat atop it. He took a few steps away from the door before he heard footsteps behind him, and his heart dropped. “Tommy.” A deep, monotone voice interrupted his joyful humming, and he slowly turned around, coming face-to-face with Techno, only this time cloakless and crownless. He looked way less intimidating without his signature king outfit. “Give back the crown, now.”

Tommy felt a nervous smile tug at his lips as he let out a sheepish chuckle, averting his eyes and already planning his escape. “Um- naaaaah. Listen, big man, you wear this thing all the time so it's only fair if I get to.” He knew exactly what he was getting himself into. He knew exactly how deep a hole he was digging for himself. Did he care? Nope! This was gonna be fun. “I look better in it anyways.”

Techno was eerily silent for a few seconds, causing butterflies to form in the blonde’s stomach. He pushed down his nervousness and faced him with his usual cocky smirk, which faded a little as his brother returned Tommy’s smug expression with his own. Fuck. “Ill give you five seconds to run.” Double fuck.

Tommy didn't move for a moment, but as soon as he saw Techno’s fingers twitch and heard the sound of his monotone voice start counting down from 5, he took off running, dashing past Techno and leaping down the stairs. When he’d reached the living room, he looked around frantically, looking for a place to hide as he knew there was no chance he’d be able to outrun Technoblade. After a moment of panicked searching, he saw it. A couch with a small space between the back and the wall. He’d be able to fit in there.

Tommy rushed over to the small hiding place, shuffling into the gap and curling into a ball. The silence that followed only made his heart pump faster. God, why couldn't he just have given him the crown? But then again... The rush this give him was kinda fun. He gasped quietly as he heard the sound of Techno’s footsteps come thumping down the stairs at a running pace, and Tommy’s immediate thought was ‘I fucked up’.

“Oh, Tommy~” Techno’s voice still sounded rather bored, but this time it was also sing-songy, giving it a teasing edge that Tommy wasn't used to hearing come from his usually stoic older brother. His face flushed as he clamped a hand over his mouth, silencing any giggles that he could already feel building up in his throat. He didn't pick a good enough hiding spot. He was definitely gonna be found.

“There’s no point in hidin’, Tommy. I'm gonna find you. Might as well come out, y’know, save yourself the anticipation.” The brit would’ve glared at Techno for saying this, but, in this situation, he couldn't. He’d make sure to fucking murder him later. That was, of course, if he survived his current predicament. “C’moooon... Where are you?”

Tommy sat in anticipation as he heard Techno’s footsteps slowly become louder and louder as he grew nearer, letting a small squeak slip through his lips once he heard him stop right at the couch. He squeezed his eyes shut, holding his breath and preparing himself, trying to rapidly come to terms with the fact that he was royally fucked. And all over a crown too!

“AH-” Tommy let out a shrill shriek as he was suddenly pulled out of his hiding place by his sides, the two hands which had a hold on him also rapidly squeezing up and down as they dragged him out. He let out a few surprised giggles and began to lightly squirm, looking up and being met with Techno’s smirking face. “Nahahahah- Tehehechno no!”

“This is your fault,” Techno stated, shifting his attack up from the boy’s sides to his ribs, vibrating in-between each of them and making him let out a few squeals. Tommy kicked his legs and tried to sit up, only to be dragged onto Techno’s lap and trapped in a back-hug. “All I wanted was for you to give me my crown. Then none of this would've happened, but nooooo...” His nonchalant ranting only served to make the teen more flustered as he frantically shook his head, babbling out pleas and insults amongst his bubbly laughter. “You just had to make this difficult for the both of us. Didn't you?”

“Nahahah! Tehehehechno yohohou mahahahassive dihihihick!” Tommy said through his bouts of giggles, melting into the hug despite his constant squirming and kicking. His face was bright red by this point, especially since the anticipation was absolutely killer and the surprise attack took him off guard.

“You wanna give back my crown now?” Techno asked almost mockingly, leaning down to muzzle into Tommy’s neck and blowing a couple of tiny raspberries. Tommy squealed at each raspberry, his squirming and laughter only increasing as he felt the embarrassment rise from how vulnerable he was. All he wanted was his goddamn crown. Now he has to go through all this?

“N-nahahah! FuhuHAHAhuck ohohoff!” Tommy shook his head, lifting his arms to grip onto the crown, making sure it stayed on. Turns out this was a giant mistake, though, as Techno took advantage of his now exposed underarms and began to scribble at his hollows. The teen’s arms came crashing down in an instant and his laughter grew squeaky. “NAHAHAH! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE! TEHEHEHECHNO!”

The pinkette shook his head, sighing in mock disappointment as he continued to wiggle his fingers inside Tommy’s armpits. “Not there! Techno! No. You brought this upon yourself,” Techno said, mocking Tommy’s British accent at the beginning of his sentence. “If you agree to give me back my crown, then I'll stop.”

“NEHEHEVEHEHER!”

“Never? Well, guess this is your life now. Get used to it.” Tommy let out a loud shriek as he felt Techno move one hand down to squeeze at his hip, letting out a snort as now two of his worst spots were being attacked. “Oh? What was that?” Techno asked, a grin forming on his face. “Did you just snort?”

“NAHAHAHAH! NO IHIHI DIHIHIHIDN’T!” Tommy protested, looking down in an attempt to hide his glowing red face. Between his embarrassment and his two most ticklish spots being attacked at once, he felt himself quickly nearing his limit. But he wasn't gonna give up yet. He could go for a little longer. “T-TEHEHEHEHECHNOHOHO!”

“Yes? You gonna give it back now?” Techno seemed to be growing impatient due to how stubborn Tommy was being. And so, just to finish him off, he blew another raspberry on his neck. The teen screeched and fell into silent laughter for the duration of the raspberry, before rapidly shaking his head as his laughing returned.

“YEHEHEHEHES! TAHAHAHAHAKE THE CROHOHOHOHOWN!”

And just like that, it stopped. Techno grabbed the crown off of Tommy’s head and walked away, leaving him on the floor to regain his composure. And as he gasped for breath, he had a thought.

‘I should steal from him more often.’

[deniigi]

bro, work made me depressed that I literally left my seat to regain any resemblance of joy or something equivalent before breaking down again. Do you think you can provide a ficlet I involving Peter and Sam to cheer me up?

FUCK CAPITALISM

TAKE THIS

Title: Calibrating

Summary: Sam and Peter talk themselves towards a meaningful discussion.

---------

Peter did this thing—this infuriating thing where he texted shit like ‘come over’ and then Sam had to bend over backwards to be flirty and coy.

It was imperative that he came across as flirty and coy.

Im-fucking-perative, regardless of what Leilani said or Matt’s annoyance at what he called the ‘jungle of depravity’ that overtook the group chat pretty much daily.

Sam didn’t care.

If Peter texted the group or sent any message that might be construed upside-down as something romantic or sexual, Sam not only had to catch it, but he had to volley it back.

This, he told Leilani, sealed their No-Homo contract.

She stared at him.

He decided to demonstrate.

“See, here, look, I’ll show you,” he said, dragging out his phone. “Exhibit A. There he is, see? Asking about the strength of PVC pipe in pounds per meter like a fuckin’ tease. Now I can’t just let him think that I saw that and didn’t think of it as a metaphor, alright? So I say—”

“Sam, why does he need to know the strength of PVC pipe?” Leilani interrupted.

It didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point of this discussion.

“I’m sending a winky-face,” Sam informed her as he did that very thing.

Leilani stared harder than before.

But look, skepticism was unrewarded. Peter texted a kiss right back and said ‘oh boo, you always know just want to say.’

How could she not see the No-Homo? Sam could do this all day. He could and there would be absolutely no problems and he wouldn’t want to suffocate himself in his pillow at the end of it all.

It was fine.

“Samuel,” Leilani said, “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to hear it with an open heart. Will you open your heart for me?”

Sam spun around in his chair and arranged his arms and legs so that they were as open as they could feasibly be without being obscene.

“I am more open than a boiled clam,” he informed her.

Leilani blinked slowly, then shook her head and checked over her shoulders. She waved him in closer. Then closer. And then close enough that he could smell her perfume on her neck.

“You’re the tease,” she said.

Then she left the backroom. And Sam could only stare after her, frozen in horror as his wide-open heart wrinkled in on itself, picking up mass and gravity until it was naught but a black hole.

“I’m the tease?” he whispered to himself in shock.

Oh no.

OH NO.

 --

  “SENSEI.”

Matt dropped his collection of folders and swore, clutching at his chest.

“We have discussed volume, Sam,” he said, bending down to collect his paper children.

Sam took the opportunity to throw both arms around his neck from behind as a threat.

“Don’t lie,” he warned. “Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, amen.”

Matt stood up and Sam felt his toes leave the floor. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“Or what?” Matt asked, 110% unfazed.

Sam wished that his feet weren’t kicking around in air here. It really put a dent in his intimidation factor.

“Am I a tease?” he asked.

Matt faced front with heavy eyebrows. Sam couldn’t see his face from this angle, but he knew that aura of irritation.

“If you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer,” Matt said. “Does that help?”

“No, I hate you now, actually,” Sam told him.

Matt dropped him right on his ass.

 --

 There had to be a way to attain proof. To determine once and for all that it was Sam who was in the wrong here, misinterpreting things like the genius that he was.

Thankfully, Sam’s experience of growing up as a non-only child for the last two decades had prepared him exactly for this type of conversation.

 SC: HANNAH AM I A TEASE???

HC: yes

HC: next question

SC: FUCK.

SC: WHAT IF ITS NOT NO-HOMO?

HC: my dear brother, the only options if something is not no-homo is for it to be no-no or homo-homo.

SC: Murder me

HC: gladly

SC: I’m in possible homo-homo with spiderman

HC: are you sure it’s not no-no?

SC: MURDER ME

HC: okay but like if it’s no-no then this is not a problem, right?

SC: If it’s no-no then I’ve read every sign wrong and I deserve to become a partially eaten tadpole awash in an indifferent boiling sea

HC: okay so we’re leaning INTO the drama today I gotcha. Alright but like, just for the sake of arguing, what if it was homo-homo?

SC: then I need you to bury my body somewhere no one will ever find it because my heart can’t stand requited love you know this about me.

HC: give me your login

SC: thank you I love you you’re the only person who matters

 --

 BT: Spiderman.

SM: Blindspot. DMing? You okay?

BT: this is Hannah.

SM: OH

SM: hi Hannah are you okay? Did you need something?

BT: My brother never got tested for reading comprehension but would have failed anyways. Can you arbitrate an arbitrary argument for us?

SM: I’m positive that there is a link between those two ideas that I am missing, but sure?

BT: okay are you ready?

SM: my loins have been girded.

BT: gross. you two are made for each other. Okay: what are your opinions on 24yo Chinese dudes with bad vision who are 5’7” tall, with terrible hair and brains as big and gaseous as Jupiter?

SM: positive

BT: you’re so romantic spidey.

SM: I know

BT: I’m going to tell him now

SM: WAIT DON’T TELL HIM

BT: byeeeeeee

 --

 Sam was going to have a heart attack. He couldn’t look at his phone. He was just going to lay here until he wasted away into a fossil.

Mm, yes, what a wonderful way to escape any and all feelings. That was—

His phone chirped and he nearly fell out of his chair in a hurry to answer it.

 HC: [image] [image]

HC: you owe me your bones

SC: AFASDFADFAS:FJaf’asdfjahsdlfihasdl’fas

SC: TAKE THEM

HC: if you fuck spiderman you have to get pregnant and demand alimony for your beautiful mixed babies Samuel

SC: Darling sister, we’ve talked about this. it isn’t going to happen I still have yet to steal a womb

HC: try harder

HC: ttyl

--

 Okay, this was fine.

Everything was fine.

Spidey liked Sam back, it was no big deal. Spidey liked everyone back. Even the teases.

Even.

The.

Teases.

Fuck, Sam had to move.

 --

 Foggy caught him biting his nails to pieces over the copy machine and asked him if he was okay. He was not. Foggy could read this off him. He didn’t ask again, but he did say that if Sam was feeling particularly anxious about something he was welcome to go have his breakdown upstairs in Kirsten’s kitchen instead of downstairs among the files.

Sam appreciated his offer. He hiked up the stairs, and halfway up, his phone chirped.

His heart stopped.

It chirped again, and then again. By the time he got to the top of the stairs, it was chirping every couple of seconds with messages being typed and sent at mach speed.

He kicked off his shoes and went to go stand over Kirsten’s sink to open the first one.

  PP: Sam it’s peter hey listen your sister messaged me

PP: and was asking some pretty invasive questions and I replied to her. I don’t know if you saw them but I just wanted to say that if that makes you uncomfortable in any way know that I absolutely don’t mind and I’ll stop

PP: you can tell me to fuck off if that crossed your boundaries. I shouldn’t have even messaged her back without asking you

PP: and obviously in future I won’t talk to her until I’ve cleared it with you I just wasn’t thinking I’m never thinking it’s a little hard to think sometimes

PP: especially when you message me back and I get caught up in the games and the emojis and stuff and like I’m sure that sometimes I overstep but I don’t mean to and you can tell me at any point if you want me to stop

PP: I guess I just really like to talk to you sometimes and it’s fun to have someone to banter with who actually banters back like not in a mean way but in a really nice and funny way. you’re an easy guy to talk to is what I’m saying

PP: which I’m sure you get a lot. I don’t mean that I want to like tell you all my problems I swear it’s not that it’s just more of a AHHHHH I don’t even know what I’m saying I think it’s sorry???

PP: I’m sorry??? I don’t mean to imply anything that isn’t there and I don’t want to make you feel like you have to either. Ar e you mad? Please don’t be mad okay wait no I’ve sent like seven fucking messages I’m being a creep oh my god IM SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW OKAY SORRY BYE

  Oh nooooo.

The panic-induced infodump was not only familiar but horrendously endearing.

Sam had to explode now.

Man. Bummer.

  SC: it’s okay Peter

PP: OH THANK GOD

PP: is it tho??? Are you sure?

SC: I have positive feelings towards people like you too

  Sam’s heart pounded. He almost locked his phone and threw it in the sink, but another text came in just as that thought finished crossing his mind.

  PP: you do?

SC: yes of course I do

PP: oh nice

SC: yeah

  Annnnnnnd cue mutual nerd awkwardness. Great. Well done, Sam, you’ve done it again.

He sighed and turned away from the sink and sunk down onto the floor with his back against it.

Such a loser, Chung. So painfully awkward. Would it kill you to, just for once, slow down and chill for a minute?

God.

  PP: hey sam?

  No, Sam just wanted to sit on this floor and wallow.

  PP: hello? Are you still there?

 --

Sam let his head fall back against the sink. He closed his eyes.

His phone rang in his hand and he nearly had a heart attack. His fingers scrabbled over its face and the caller ID read ‘Peter Parker.’

Oh god.

Oh no.

Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.

“Hello?” he answered to the scratchy phone silence on the other side of the line.

He frowned.

“Hello?” he tried again, a smidge less desperate.

“Hi.”

There he was.

“Hey,” Sam said. “Sorry, just got awkward.”

Peter laughed through the line.

“Me too,�� he said. “That was awkward.”

Yeah.

“Yeah.”

A long pause.

“I’m doing it again,” Sam moaned into his hand.

“No, no. Hey, you’re good,” Peter said. “I was just uh. Calling because.” He trailed off.

Sam waited.

“Sam? You still there?”

He startled and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said. “Sorry, zoning out a little bit. You know, busy day.”

“Yeah,” Peter said.  “Yeah, I know.”

Sam breathed as quietly as he could. He could almost hear Peter doing the same on his end.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta g—” Sam started.

“Hey, do you like me?”

HNG.

“No?” Sam answered and then punched himself in the leg. “Sorry. Uh. I didn’t—I mean, uh. Yes. Of course I like you. You’re a really good person. I admire you a lot.”

Hannah, oh Hannah, where is thine shovel? Sam needed it to dig this grave deeper, please.

“Oh. Okay, I just—I guess I uh, have a hard time reading the tone of your texts sometimes,” Peter said.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” Sam said. “I’ll try harder to be more direct.”

“No,” Peter said. “No, no, you don’t have to change anything.”

“Oh? Okay, well. Maybe I still will, though,” Sam said.

If Peter wouldn’t have heard him, he would have started to try to fit his whole fist in his mouth.

Five minutes of conversation and they were still saying nothing.

“Sam?”

He swallowed.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Next time you’re in the city, would you, uh, maybe want to go out somewhere? With me?”

Out? What like, to a movie or something?

“Yeah, just like that,” Peter said. “’Cause I uh. Would like to. Do that, I mean. With you.”

“With me?” Sam asked. “Oh right, and your other friends, uh, names—sorry, I’m bad with names. N-ned?”

“No,” Peter said oddly abruptly. “Well, I mean—I don’t mean it like that. I just—just with you. For now. That’s what I mean.”

“Oh. Uh. Kinda like a date?” Sam asked through the forcefield of self-hatred that felt like it spanned the entire continental US.

There was a pause. Sam held his breath.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Exactly like a date. If you don’t mind—you know, doing that with me.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Are you trying to lure me to a secondary location, Mr. Parker?” Sam asked seriously.

The laugh that met him made all the muscles in his shoulders relax.

“Maybe if the bit at the first location goes well,” Peter said. Then added hurriedly, “If you’re down for that.”

Sam was down for it right now.

Actually, maybe not in Kirsten’s kitchen. But like, right now in a different location.

“If it’s a movie date, we can do it through Netflix Party,” he pointed out faux-lightly. “It wouldn’t be the same, but we could do it this weekend, even. Saturday—I’m off Saturday.”

Peter said nothing for a long time.

“Okay. Saturday,” he finally agreed, “I can do Saturday. Kinda hard to hold your hand through a screen, but I can give it my best shot?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffff.

“Oh, I bet you will,” Sam nearly choked.

“You’re really cute, Sam.”

NO. SHUT UP. YOU ARE.

“Thanks.”

“I wanted to kiss you last time you were here, but I was too, uh. Shy. Embarrassed. One of them.”

Sam was going to puke, but in like, the happiest kind of way.

“I like you a lot too, Peter,” he whispered.

“Are you crying?”

“What? No.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Shut up, I’m not. I—the old man’s downstairs, his ears aren’t as good through ceilings, but I just want to make sure—”

“Uh-huh,” Peter said. “I’m sure that’s what it is. So I’ll see you Saturday? Maybe Facetime or something?”

“Yeah, Saturday,” Sam said. “I’ll send you a time when I know. I’ve gotta go. Meltdown-alloted-breaktime is over.”

Peter laughed.

“Alright, man, I’ll talk to you later. Bye now.”

“Bye,” Sam said lamely.

He hung up the phone. He did not scream. But he did fist pump and then fall onto his side.

 ---------

Here’s to hoping things get easier for you anon!!

[scribble-blog]

Soulmate AU part 12!!

First • Previous • Here • Next

“Thank you, Kaalki,” Marinette stepped out into her bedroom. It was, predictably, unchanged from how she had left it.

“Is that you, Mari?” Her Papa’s voice called from downstairs, and she called back.

“Yes!” She gave her room another once over, eyes lingering on the closed closet door where the Miracle Box hid before climbing down, only to be caught in her father’s arms.

“It’s only been a few days,” she complained as he squeezed her. “You don’t need to suffocate me!”

“But I’ve missed my little girl,” Tom Dupain pouted.

“Miss me with me on the ground then,” Marinette rolled her eyes, but she hugged him back before he put her down. “I’ve missed you too, Papa. How’s Maman?”

“She’s napping, after that akuma had to wake her up early this morning,” he told her, giving her one last squeeze. “I’ll be back down in the bakery.”

Marinette gave him a kiss and then went to knock at her parent’s bedroom door. When she heard the answering yawn, she entered.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Maman defended herself with another yawn.

“It’s the midnight Akumas,” Marinette found herself laughing. “They’re the reason I fall asleep in science sometimes. My Hawkmoth suspicions list has sleep-deprived written right at the top, with three underlines.”

“I know what Tikki said,” Maman scowled, “but are we sure I can’t just take over being Ladybug for you?”

Tikki popped her head out of the pillow as well. “It wouldn’t work out, Sabine.”

“I have to be Ladybug, Maman,” Marinette echoed. “It’s...” there aren’t words, not really, for how right it feels down to her bones to be Ladybug. The times that she’s used other Miraculous are always interesting, but there is nothing that compares.

“I know,” Sabine said softly. “I know that you’re... chosen, or bound, or whatever word we use. Even if I’m not a true holder, being Wūguī feels more correct for me than being Ladybug.”

“You do a wonderful job at being Ladybug too though,” Tikki supported. “And after working with you, I can understand where Marinette gets it from!”

Tikki got up and floated over, alighting on Marinette’s shoulder before gasping.

“You met them!”

Marinette felt her face go from normal to bright red almost instantaneously. Sabine sat up straight, looking from her daughter to the red Kwami. “Met who?”

Marinette scrambled to grab Tikki as if it would be possible to contain her and keep her from saying, “She met her soulmate! I can feel it! Oh, Marinette, this is wonderful!”

Her Maman’s lips curled into a teasing grin. Of course, when Marinette had become Ladybug, her parents had found each other’s names, rolling up the insides of their forearms, where the were on constant display. They’d poked and prodded at Marinette about hers ever since, even if they ultimately respected her privacy. “Oh? Marinette? Why didn’t you tell us? How could you rob us of the joy of knowing about our future child?”

Marinette managed to make a noise somewhere between a wheeze and a whistling teakettle. “Maman, nooooo-“

“Oh, but now we’ll have to join you in Gotham~” her mother stood up and started bounding about the room, grabbing a bag and beginning to fill it, “meet them and their family, plan a vacation to get to know each other, start figuring out if you’ll get married in Gotham or Paris-“

“MAMAN!” Marinette had reached the reddest she’s ever been. “I only just met him earlier today! Stop planning weddings and give me back Tikki so I can meet with the Gotham heroes!”

“A dress designed by you, and the cake made by us, of course, and Adrien and Chloé and Luka and Kagami as your bridesmaids...”

Marinette grabbed the Kwami and marched out of the room. “I’ll be back tomorrow with Tikki unless there’s another akuma.”

“Oh, Tom!” Sabine called as she left. “Have you heard?”

“Oh, Marinette, she’s just teasing,” the Kwami giggled at her still blushing holder. “But it truly is wonderful that you’ve been able to meet your soulmate! Now we can truly balance the Miraculous, and you’ll be stronger than ever in your fight against Hawkmoth!”

Marinette froze in her steps at the bottom of the entrance to her room. “What do you mean? Balance the Miraculous?”

“Well,” Tikki’s big blue eyes blinked up at her. “Adrien is a wonderful Chat Noir, of course, but the balance of the Miraculous is always going to be off, with one true holder and one non true holder.”

“That’s-“ Marinette let out a strangled breath. “Tikki. Tell me honestly. Is there going to be any ill effects on me or Adrien just because we aren’t perfectly matched like that?”

“No!” Tikki rushes to comfort her. “Simply that you’ll never be at your true full strength unless your Chat Noir is also a true holder for Plagg. Which, by everything I know, your soulmate should be!”

The icy grip on Marinette’s chest released. “I’m not giving my soulmate the Black Cat Miraculous, Tikki.”

Tikki tilted her small head. “But-“

“No.” Marinette sighed. “I don’t care about my strength. As long as it won’t hurt either of us, I’m not ever going to take Plagg away from his chosen. Not for anything. Adrien is my partner, no matter what.”

Tikki sighed, but she didn’t sound particularly put out. “I guess I knew you’d say that. Even if it helped fight Hawkmoth, I don’t suppose you would be my Marinette if you did something like that.” The Kwami snuggled back into her neck. “Maybe we could give him another Miraculous. It would be fun to see if he’s as wonderful a hero as you.”

“I think he could be,” Marinette climbed into her room, remembering the series of, quite frankly, adorably awkward conversations she’d had that day. “He’s... a conundrum.”

That was the easiest way to describe her feeling about Damian. On the one hand, he was rich, hot, had a wry humor that made it difficult for her to keep a straight face, and a caring side that she very quickly realized he had done his best to bury. On the other...

He was proud, seemed shut off and cold to anyone who he didn’t deem as worth his energy investment, and- Marinette was, frankly, a bit wary of the way he’d fought at the Gardens. The grace and confidence he’d moved with was impressive, but no one learned to move like that for no reason. Even self defense only stretched so far.

“Do you think it’s possible that my soulmate isn’t exactly a good person?” Her lips are forming the question before she can stop them.

Tikki squeezes against her. “If he weren’t a good person, he wouldn’t be your soulmate, Marinette. Whatever made you think that, I’m sure there’s a reason behind it.”

Marinette nodded slowly. “If you say so. Hey, is there a reason it feels like I’m being electrocuted when I touch Damian?”

Tikki giggles. “Oh, that’s just- a safety measure of sorts! Throughout all the different Ladybugs I’ve had, quite a few of you decided to put your duty above your personal life and connections- to my chagrin. This makes it pretty impossible to ignore! Besides, it doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“No,” Marinette admitted. “And who knows if we would have actually met and somehow touched each other during the rest of our trip? But still, grabbing his arm and getting a hundred volts was a bit off putting.”

Tikki shrugged. “It’s not something I control. And it changes with each Ladybug! One time, I had a Ladybug whose eyes would glow whenever she was near her soulmate!”

The thought of what her friends would say about that made Marinette immediately slump with relief that it hadn’t happened to her. The connection she and Damian shared was subtle enough for her, thank you. “Let’s get back to Gotham. I’ve only got a few hours before I need to meet with Red Robin, and Chloé and Adrien are still waiting to ambush me about Damian. Kaalki?”

The horse Kwami zoomed out from the spot on her bed, ready as ever. “At your call, Marinette!”

“Full Gallop!”

TAGLIST:

@the-fusionist @rebecarojas07 @lowandco @kotaleartzu @resignedcatservant @alenee13 @mystery-5-5 @ladybug-182 @actual-disaster-human @loysydark @rumbelle18 @magic-miraculous @vixen-uchiha @athena452 @mochegato @ash-amg @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @thestressmademedoit @sassakitty @doriebell @jessigurl-design @emotionalsupportginger @kceedraws @kuroko26 @moonystars14 @toodaloo-kangaroo @myazael @theatreandcomicfreak @mer-mel @dahjokester @northernbluetongue @area51qt @renscorpio @redscarlet95 @razzledazzle247 @rosep16 @tired-butterfly @catthhay @shamefullove @imanerddealwith @chaosace @captainmac6 @bigpicklebananatree @abrx2002 @cici-schnee @multplelifes @shreky-boi @purple-people-eaters-productions @crazylittlemunchkin @weird-pale-blonde-person

[littleroaes]

i love this series moni!!!!!!!! wether changmin and yn are friends pining or whatever i love them together! i dont think im ready for part 3 lol 

im a bit sad though for jacob! hes so sweet in this one and i kinda like them together:((((((( im rooting for both helpppp

moments im saving:

“It’s just… this dream; it felt so real for a second,” he starts as he plays with the loose ends of his blanket. And not even a second passes when Chanhee exclaims the words, “Oh my god, did you have a sex dream about Y/N?!” He eyes him up and down. “W-what? No!” “Oh, I see why you’ve been avoiding them,” Sunwoo chuckles, ignoring his best friend’s protests.

We’ll that was straightforward lol 

Sunwoo shakes his head before sharing his two cents. Clearly, he wanted to play the shithead in a situation like this (like he always does).“No way, I’m starting to think Changmin is developing a crush on Y/N.” He gives the stressed-out boy a teasing smile. “Aren’t you?” “W-what?! No! I’m not, what the fuck?” From his panicked answer, Chanhee shakes his head with a small smile on his face. “See, then it means nothing,” He attempts to calm the situation down as he stands up from the bed. “It’s normal to just have dreams like that. It won’t mean much unless you put meaning into it.” His best friend is right; it is normal to have nonsensical dreams. Changmin has had dreams about outrageous events such as Gana (his pet poodle) learning how to talk, his sisters deciding to move back into the family home, and even coming face-to-face with his celebrity crush. These dreams are not always manifestations of what he desires—which is why he does not understand why he is still riled up about some dream where you two almost kissed.

Cmon Mann we knowwww

The boy who you were going to cross paths with looks in your direction. As soon as his cat-like eyes recognize you, he gives you a smile and jogs towards you. “Hi, Y/N. I didn’t expect to see you around here.”

Ahh that’s so cute to picture 

“Actually, there was no practice today. Coach let us have a bit of time to rest but I wanted to practice.” When Juyeon reveals that, you cannot help but feel the anxiety start to pool in your stomach. To be fair, you might have misunderstood him when he rushed out. Changmin did not owe you anything, but you still cannot stop the ill feeling brewing inside you. You do not allow yourself to cry.

Nooooo don’t be sad ynnn 

You shake your head and free one of your hands from his grasp. Your hand reaches out for the underside of his chin so that you could lift his face. And with that action, Changmin feels his breath hitch. 

So nervous right nowww

He sighs as he finally lets go of your hands. “It’s… embarrassing,” he whispers the last word with shame overtaking his body once more. “It can’t be that bad,”

Is he actually gonna do it!!!????????

“God, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he whispers to himself. As he notices a frown appear on your face, he shakes his head. “Just, please do not judge when I say this.” Your frown stays, curious to hear what he has to say. “Before anything, I respect you, okay?” When he says those words, you cannot help but let a chuckle slip out. “I know that, don’t worry.” “Yes, but… ugh, I don’t know how to say this,” he mutters as he thinks about the best way to share what has been bothering him.

I could never im very impressed lol

It takes you a moment to process his words. Yet, before he could say more, you found yourself saying, “Oh.”

Ahhhhhhh

“If it helps, I’ve dreamt about you too.”

Ahhhhh again lol

“Well, that’s Sunwoo for you. If it helps, he was also the first person I told about my dream of you.”

The middle mannnnnn

“Did you have a sex dream about me?”

Getting brave all of a sudden Mann

“Oh my god, you did!” He exclaims with eyebrows raised over the revelation. “When did you have it?” When all he receives is an eye roll from you, he decides to push further. “C’mon! Like you said, my dream does not mean anything as much as yours doesn’t.” You sigh out in frustration before you frown at the boy across from you. “First year of college—it was after I saw your recital where you performed “BOSS” by NCT,” you shyly admit as you avoid his gaze. Although you refuse to look at him, you can feel how his eyes bore into you. “Really? You liked that fit on me?” He asks smugly to which you groan. “I’m kidding!” You roll your eyes once more as you let him finally take some spoonfuls of his bibimbap.

When those words slip out of your mouth, a weight is dropped right on top of his heart. The last time he felt like this was when Hwang Hyunjin was offered the center position for one of the routines that he was aiming for. He hates this feeling—why did he feel this way over how you mentioned Jacob’s name?

When you ask that question, every part of him wants to tell you to stay. In the time he has avoided you, it is only now that he is starting to realize how much he missed hanging out with you. Every part of him only wanted to hold you close to him—to forever link arms with you every second of the day. But this is Changmin we’re talking about—he would never hold you back from what you want to do.

He shakes his head with a small smile as a cover-up. “No, you should go. I know you miss him.” As he sees your grin, he cannot help but feel his heart being tugged harshly. 

:((((((((((

“Ah, thank you so much! I haven’t eaten the whole day,” you admit as you scratch the back of your neck. While you take a gulp of water, Jacob speaks up. “You haven’t? Well, we’re gonna make sure you eat lots now,” he smiles at you which has you almost choking on your water—just almost. When you place the cup back down, you show him a shy smile. This is a changmin pic this is a hangman pic this a ch-

How can u not root for them Jacobs character is so charming lol

As soon as she sets the two dishes down, she smiles and coos at the boy in front of you, pinching his cheeks. “My Jacob, I didn’t know you were having a date!” Nahhhhh this s too cute 

Love old ladies in fics they’re the bestttt

“Please enjoy your date.” Before you could protest, she left the two of you to serve the other customers calling her. You cannot find your voice. Somehow, you were scared to let a sound out in fear that your voice would crack from how the woman described this lunch. It did not help that Jacob went along with it. And what made you melt even more is when he poured you a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and placed a piece of chicken on your plate. When you stare at Jacob who pours himself some stew, he only shoots you that godforsaken smile. You may not know what you want with Jacob at the end of all of this. But one thing is for sure though—you wanted this feeling to remain. 

“I’m here to check up on you,” he says as he takes his shoes off and sets them aside before taking a step into your place. You close the door and frown at the boy who was making his way to your couch. “You’re watching Bluey? Now you need to tell me what’s going on.”

“Calling me your lucky charm then?” You smirk as you chew on your wooden spoon. When you do not hear him say anything, you turn your head to look at him only to be met with his small smile. “Yeah, I do.” Just like a bonfire on a cold night, his words warm your heart. You never expect him to go with it. And yet, the way he says the words so easily almost makes you smile.

Before he could say more, you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He feels himself stiffen at the sudden action. And when he realizes that it is you who initiates the hug, he melts into it. It is not rare for you two to hug—for you to initiate them, however, is a once-in-a-blue-moon experience. Although your best friend loves physical touch, it was never something you sought out. The most you ever did was link arms or hold hands—for you to bring him into a hug was unexpected. As you feel his arms wrap around your waist, you allow yourself to release a shaky breath. Even if you were not a big fan of physical touch, a hug like this one will always bring you immense comfort. “Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. All he does is continue to embrace you. Once you let go of him, he does the same. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my shining star.” As you say those words, Changmin cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips.

Ahhhhhh I can’t hide it either

“Changmin, it’s late. What do you want?” Sunwoo complains in his groggy voice. “I think I’m fucked.” “Ok–” “I think I like Y/N.” Changmin is met with silence. For a moment, he thinks Sunwoo hung up on him. That is until he says, “Expect me at your place in ten minutes.”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Changmin only sighs as he looks back down to his hands that play with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t usually act like this because Y/N has always been present for every competition. And never once did the teams I joined place anything lower than silver.”

The silence is deafening; you are too afraid to let out a sound. As you watch your best friend keep his composure while he tries to prepare your food, dark limbs consume you and push you into a hole of guilt and sorrow. While he was still struggling to come to terms with placing last, he still was going out of his way to take care of you.

You pulled him into another hug so that his face was snuggled into the crook of your neck.

With your best friend sobbing, you held him close. In these times, you started to understand what he meant last night—you are a place of solace for him just as he is for you.

I need them to be with each other forever don’t ever seperate themmmmm

cobcob 🐰: or even hang out outside of student journalist duties :]

cobcob 🐰: instead, let me take you out

Jacob doing his movessss not sure if I should be happy or not 

Sunwoo only smiles at you before he goes back to his phone. Unbeknownst to you, he messages Changmin about what just occurred between you and Jacob.

Qauhudhfuibew the dramaaaaa

“Why don’t you try spending it with Changmin’s family?” Sunwoo suggests which makes you snap out of your thoughts. Before you could say anything, he says, “I mean, the Ji family does love you. What do you think, Changmin?”

Sun woo you jdscudnscj love it

You turn your head towards Changmin whose eyes were trained on Sunwoo and eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t want to intrude, really. I’ll be fine–”

With that, he wraps his arm around your waist and brings you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and continue to watch the variety show playing on the screen, unaware of the smirks your two other friends had.

Changmin lucky he has friends doing all the setting up for him 

Can’t wait for him to do his first mobveee

you voice out as you were scribbling down the scientific names of common flowers. You nudge Changmin and ask, “Is this right?” He takes a peek at your homework and lets out a chuckle. “You misspelled it. It’s Leucadendron—not Lucadeldron.” You roll your eyes as you erase your mistake.

I love thattt

Since your best friends took care of you, you have not heard from him in a while. All you would get were short responses and excuses about why he could not talk or see you. You do not hold it against him though—he needed this time to focus on his thesis anyway..

:(((((((

 “I hate to break it to you, but Sunwoo already told us a few days ago.”

That’s why yn doesn’t tell you stuff sunwooooooo

He grabs your hand before shooting you another smile. “I’m sure everyone wants to know everything about you.” You wish you could pinpoint the reason behind your heartstrings tugging. 

With a small smile on your face, you unzip your padded jacket and remove it before taking a seat on the wooden floor. Right where you sat, your face hovers over him. At this moment, you only realize now that Changmin has grown up since you first got to know him.

You and Changmin knew each other in every way possible—in every aspect you two willingly shared. Every left shoe had to come with a right one; rain is followed with sunshine; linked arms always came with bruised hearts—there is no other way to capture you two.

That’s beautifullll

Once he diverts his attention from his pet, the dog cannot help but bark at him. He lets out a sigh before dropping the plushie and wrapping his arms around Gana. “You are so needy, you know that? Just like Y/N over there.” The moment he points at you makes you gasp. “I am not needy.” Despite your attempt to defend yourself, your best friend only rolls his eyes. “I’ve known you for five years. You are needy, even needier than Sunwoo,” he says, which only has you frowning. As he sees your expression shift, he cannot help but laugh. “C’mon, sit with me.”

That’s bold coming from the man that’s up on yn twenty four seven lol

And just like that, you feel the crushing weight on your heart lifted. The moment of clarity finally pushed you to open your arms to what you had been tiptoeing around. Oh. Oh. It is not as scary as you made it out to be. “I think I like you.” You do not realize the words you whisper under your breath without any second thought. It is soft just like how water slowly trickles down a faucet. But even the droplet sounds are ones you never want to hear on a quiet night.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

You can only hope that your words were not heard by him. And while you found yourself panicking over the moment that occurred only minutes ago, your best friend was having an internal debate on whether he heard you say the words he has been dreaming of.

OMG IM NOT READY

[part two] of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ ji changmin

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), mentions of suggestive dreams, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a STILL a shithead, a lot of sentimental talks between changmin and reader, so much platonic love in general!!, feelings are so weird, a lot of flashbacks, going back home for the winter break </3, too domestic (not for the faint of heart), if denial is a river in egypt then reader is SWIMMING in it, i'm afraid to say that reader is stupid (and can changmin just not hear?)

word count ➵ 27.7k words

parts ➵ check out the series masterlist

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @sungbeam @miusgirl @jenoscafe

a/n ➵ expect some crazy realizations to happen! anyway, it took me three weeks to deliver this?? crazy!! i expected to only post two parts but i don't think tumblr can handle 45k words in one post </3 along with that, i wanted to get this out before i officially enter my 3rd year in uni!!! please expect for the third part to be delivered a little later since i need to prioritize my academics and newspaper work (and possibly another oneshot involving a kim sunwoo... oops?) hope you enjoy the CRAZY slow burn my lovelies. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this post and the other parts!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! main masterlist

Since Changmin had dreamt about you, he found himself unable to talk to you. Everything reminded him of you; the songs he would listen to on the way to school which you introduced him to; the cafe he would spend his free time in where you two usually studied; even phrases he would hear people say that you tend to frequent when speaking. It did not help that you were somewhat blowing up the group chat more than usual.

With all these reminders of you, Changmin always found his mind drifting back to the view of you in his dream. He has never seen you as a potential crush—let alone found you attractive. After all, he knew you when you first wore boxy glasses and cringe graphic tees (to which you donated).

You were never someone he desired. And yet, when you straddled him and said his name as if it were laced with nectar, you never left his mind. The imaginary tension between you two made him weak to the knees. And just from the fictional distance of your face from his, he could feel his breath hitch at the scenario constantly playing out in his head. That dream only pushed him to face thoughts he was not willing to entertain.

Over the days, you two have not been able to hang out. While he was trying to find ways to avoid you, you understood it as him being busy with his other obligations. That is until you spot him on campus.

Done with his last class for the day, Changmin exits the building with his eyes locked on the bus stop—his one ticket back home. He only cared to be snuggled into his sheets that were newly washed and fall into the shackles of a nap. That is until he hears someone call out his name.

As he looks for the source, his eyes land on you who is seated on one of the picnic tables with your laptop out. The moment you shoot him a smile, flashes of his dream play out; the way his name rolls off your tongue; the sensation of your breath that hovers over his lips; the legs that caged him in place. And suddenly, all he could do was point his thumb in the direction of the athletics center before he bolted. He could only hope that you do not cross paths with anyone from the dance team.

Clearly bummed out about not being able to spend some time with your best friend before your night class, you let out a sigh. You understood that he had a dance practice to worry about. With the way he seemed frazzled, it made sense that he was rushing to meet his team on time. That is until you are surprised by Sunwoo’s appearance at your table an hour later.

“Yo!” He greets you before taking a seat across from you, a bottle of green juice in his hands. “What are you up to?”

With a frown on your face, you ask, “Don’t you guys have practice?”

You are greeted by your best friend’s confused face before he brings out his phone. “I do?” He asks himself as he scrolls through it.

“Yeah, I saw Changmin like an hour ago and he seemed like he was rushing to the athletics center,” you sigh as you fix the document’s format that had your notes for the next class. “Unless I understood him wrong. I don’t even know, he kind of pointed somewhere and disappeared.”

Sunwoo hums as he types away on his phone. As he scratches the back of his head, you notice his expression shift into an all-knowing one. “Oh, it’s just for him and some other members. I think they’re just practicing a certain segment,” he shares before stowing his phone away.

“Anyway, I just remembered I have some work to catch up on so I’ll see you tomorrow or whenever!” And the next thing you know, your best friend left as quickly as he came. You stare at Sunwoo’s figure which continued to get smaller before he was out of sight. Before you could think much of his odd behavior, you were hit with the reality that you needed to attend class.

“Okay, you need to fess up on why you’re avoiding Y/N,” Sunwoo says as he enters Changmin’s room with a small yawn following.

Currently, Changmin is rolled up in his sheets as he scrolls through YouTube shorts on his phone. The sudden appearance of his best friend only made him frown. He did not expect to have Sunwoo pester him today, but he remembers the conversation he had with him through text not too long ago. 

zzoguri 🦝: are u at the dance studio? zzoguri 🦝: did coach change the plans? i thought today was our break qramzi 🐿️: yea there’s no practice zzoguri 🦝: okay so why did y/n just say you went to practice? qramzi 🐿️: i don’t want to talk about it zzoguri 🦝: spill or i tell them qramzi 🐿️: yah! can’t i have my own secrets? zzoguri 🦝: you can have secrets but i don’t know why you’re lying to y/n qramzi 🐿️: ugh fine qramzi 🐿️: i’ll tell you when i see you

“Sunwoo, couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?” Changmin groans before shooting his friend a glare. Sunwoo plops on his bed while he still wears his outside clothes, making him even more furious. “Yah, Kim Sunwoo! I just washed these sheets.”

He only shrugs and says, “Okay, that doesn’t matter. Now, tell me!” Changmin sighs over his best friend’s persistence.

Fully aware that Sunwoo was not planning to leave any time soon, he found himself pausing the shorts. He sat up and bit the inside of the cheek.

Out of all the people he had to talk to about this dilemma with you, he did not feel comfortable revealing it to Sunwoo—the one person who knew you inside and out. Who could blame him? Having to talk about his dream about you to your best friend since grade school put him in a spot where he was seriously debating on which situation is better: this or being eaten whole by a shark?

That is until Chanhee walks into the room with his eyes on his phone. “Changmin-ah, there’s this–oh, Sunwoo! You’re here.” His eyebrows shoot up at the sight. “Did I interrupt something?”

His appearance is only to be taken as a gift from the universe. With a victorious smile playing on Changmin’s lips, he shrugs before saying, “No, I was just telling Sunwoo that I’d see him tomorrow.”

But the man was not going to make this easy for him. “He’s avoiding Y/N.” As soon as those words leave his best friend’s (read: traitor for life’s) mouth, Chanhee gasps as he stares Changmin down.

“What?! Why?!” He says as he takes a seat on the bed. Sunwoo shrugs and points at the guy who was constantly dodging their questions.

Now under the scrutiny of his two best friends, Changmin had no choice but to answer. His hands seemed bound even if no visible ropes were holding them down. He scratches the back of his neck and says, “Just, don’t judge me. And don’t tell Y/N.” The two only give him a look as if he stated the obvious.

Changmin knew he could trust these two with any secret and trouble he faced. In the times he desperately needed to talk about stuff that should never concern you, he always found himself talking to them. However, them seeing his reluctance had them worried about what might have gone down between you and him.

“It’s just… this dream; it felt so real for a second,” he starts as he plays with the loose ends of his blanket.

And not even a second passes when Chanhee exclaims the words, “Oh my god, did you have a sex dream about Y/N?!” He eyes him up and down.

“W-what? No!”

“Oh, I see why you’ve been avoiding them,” Sunwoo chuckles, ignoring his best friend’s protests.

He grows frustrated as the two continue to jump into assumptions. “No, that’s not it! Won’t you let me finish?!” As soon as the two pipe down, he lets out a sigh.

“Nothing happened like that. We just… almost kissed,” he whispers those last words. This icky feeling he can only think of as shame starts to take over his limbs. But when hears a laugh leave Chanhee’s mouth, he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Almost?” Chanhee smacks Changmin’s arm. “Then why are you so tense? If nothing happened, then it shouldn’t be something to worry about.”

Sunwoo shakes his head before sharing his two cents. Clearly, he wanted to play the shithead in a situation like this (like he always does).“No way, I’m starting to think Changmin is developing a crush on Y/N.” He gives the stressed-out boy a teasing smile. “Aren’t you?”

“W-what?! No! I’m not, what the fuck?”

From his panicked answer, Chanhee shakes his head with a small smile on his face. “See, then it means nothing,” He attempts to calm the situation down as he stands up from the bed. “It’s normal to just have dreams like that. It won’t mean much unless you put meaning into it.”

His best friend is right; it is normal to have nonsensical dreams. Changmin has had dreams about outrageous events such as Gana (his pet poodle) learning how to talk, his sisters deciding to move back into the family home, and even coming face-to-face with his celebrity crush. These dreams are not always manifestations of what he desires—which is why he does not understand why he is still riled up about some dream where you two almost kissed.

“You know, Chanhee is right. I like to tease and all but it is normal,” Sunwoo starts off. “But you shouldn’t be avoiding Y/N because of it. It’s not fair to them, you know?”

All Changmin could do was hum as he looked down at his hands. Once again, his best friend is right; there should be no reason for him to avoid you when you did nothing wrong.

“I know. It all just felt weird, and I think I needed to find some time to get over it.” As he admits that to his friends, he is only met with their smiles.

“You’ll be fine,” Chanhee reassures him before ruffling his hair. “Just remember that it’s just Y/N. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

It is easier said than done for Changmin to go back to his usual antics with you. No matter how many times Chanhee tried to reassure him, it felt like something was holding him back—the idea of you reading right through him. It is not like you know all his thoughts. But if he stood before you, he felt like he would be at your mercy—letting you know all of his desires without any chance to rethink his actions. That is why when you approach him and Sunwoo during lunch, he is thrown off guard.

It is not like he was not expecting you to see him. After all, the spot they were staying in is in a corner on campus where the friend group would spend breaks together. It is an old picnic table whose wood was covered in old graffiti and smudges. Changmin was sure that this table was the last old one on campus for its wood is discolored as sand. Placed in a secluded area on campus behind the athletics center but still close to the publication room, it became the perfect spot for your friend group.

Sunwoo looks up at you in the middle of slurping his ramyeon noodles as you set your hands down on the table. Unlike your usual collected look and happy-go-lucky nature, the two noticed your disheveled appearance; eyebags are unseemly heavier than usual; shoulders slouched from how fatigued you have been.

“Are you okay?” Sunwoo decides to ask as soon as you take a seat in front of the two. You only let out a groan before your head rests on crossed arms. Without having to hear a verbal answer from you, your two best friends shared a look of worry.

Changmin has to swallow his shame; he needs to know what is going on with you. He could not let a dream hold him back from checking up on you, especially at a time when you needed him the most.

So his hand reached out for your arm, rubbing it ever so slowly. “Hey, what’s up?”

As you let yourself look up at your two friends whose faces were full of concern, you let out a sigh. “I’m just stressed out. You know, it’s November already so I’ve got some heavier projects to accomplish.”

“And I’m assuming the pub work is added stress,” Sunwoo chimes in before taking another slurp of noodles.

You nod and say, “Yeah. Right now, Jacob’s schedule is entirely different from mine so we’ve been working separately for the most part.” As soon as your chin rests back on your crossed arms, you let out another sigh and stare off into nowhere. “I miss him,” you shyly admit to the two.

It was to be expected for you to miss Jacob. During your first coverage together, he helped in alleviating the stress that came with it. From his smiles and encouragement to his exquisite way with words, he made every minute feel like a breeze in summer. But surprisingly enough, you felt like you could breathe without him around.

Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your reveal. “Aish! Of course, you do.” With your eyes preoccupied with whatever caught your attention, he looks at Changmin and gives him a subtle smirk. All your best friend could do is stop comforting you to smack the other.

Interrupted by Sunwoo’s whine, you look back at the two and frown at the sight of him grabbing onto his arm while Changmin continues to eat his bibimbap. Before you could ask, Sunwoo looked at his phone.

“Ah, that’s the time already?!” He quickly gets out of his seat and shoves his phone into his pocket before grabbing his empty bowl of ramyeon. “I’m going to be late for my class!”

“What class?”

“3D Character Animation,” he answers Changmin with a groan following. As soon as he notices his best friend who only has a look of desperation plastered on his face, he could only hold back his giggle. “I’ll see you two!”

And with that, Changmin is left alone with you—the one who has occupied his mind since that night. The realization of him spending time with you for the first time since that dream came to him was starting to sink in. With no moment to swallow his shame, he let his eyes trail down to his bowl of beef, rice, and stir-fried vegetables.

“So, how about you?” Once you ask the question, all he does is shrug before taking a big bite of his food.

It is not unusual for your best friend to not be in the mood to talk, but you noticed something was off about his behavior. Since that one day he rushed to the athletics center, you could not shake off this odd gut feeling—it felt like something was eating you up inside. Yet, you could not pinpoint the reason behind it.

You have always felt confident in your friendship with Changmin. There has not been a grave instance where he seemingly threatened it. No matter how many times you quarreled over small details throughout your friendship, you two knew to trust each other wholeheartedly. But as soon as you bumped into Juyeon that same day, your anxieties turned into something real.

As soon as your night class was dismissed, you quickly made your way out of the classroom. The talk about inverted pyramids and ledes in your journalism class only made your head hurt. All you could think about is your sweet home that had the soft bed you wish to pass out on. The headphones you wore blasted the sweet melodies of “1 to 10” by DAY6—your pick-me-up song on days like these. Clearly drained from the day, you were hoping no one would bother you on your way to the parking lot.

That is until your eyes land on a boy who you have grown familiar with from short interactions on campus and at parties. “Oh, Juyeon!” You call out as you move your headphones to hang around your neck.

The boy who you were going to cross paths with looks in your direction. As soon as his cat-like eyes recognize you, he gives you a smile and jogs towards you. “Hi, Y/N. I didn’t expect to see you around here.”

“I usually park by the athletics center.”

Juyeon nods as he lets out a hum. “Did you just come from class?” After you nod, you decide to ask him the same question. “I just came from the dance studio. You know, practicing for the competition coming up.”

“Oh, were you with Changmin?”

That is when you are met with an answer you were not expecting. “Actually, there was no practice today. Coach let us have a bit of time to rest but I wanted to practice.”

When Juyeon reveals that, you cannot help but feel the anxiety start to pool in your stomach. To be fair, you might have misunderstood him when he rushed out. Changmin did not owe you anything, but you still cannot stop the ill feeling brewing inside you.

“Oh, I see,” you force a grin as you say those words. “Good luck, by the way! Rooting for you and the rest of the team.”

Juyeon gives you a smile with eyes squinted. “Thank you! I hope to see you in the crowd.” With that, you parted ways. You do not allow yourself to cry.

Ever since that day, you have not seen Changmin. In those weeks, you allowed your mind to come into every possible assumption—what if he is getting annoyed with you? What if he is struggling with his own problems? What if he just wants to be alone?

You wanted to respect him and his space, but the more this behavior kept on going, the more you allowed yourself to be ripped up by the speculations your anxiety-ridden mind has crafted. It did not help that you figured out that Sunwoo was covering for him on that day—the one guy you so desperately wanted to seek comfort in. And who is to say that Chanhee would not cover for his best friend as well?

Now with no one to go to, you allowed yourself to dwell on ideas surrounding Changmin’s avoidance. But you knew you had to swallow your pride.

“Ji Changmin.” As you call out his name in a tone he rarely hears, he looks up at you. It is rare for him to hear you say his full name like that—almost as if his mother is about to scold him. But he knew that this is not a case of standing guilty before his mother; it is a case of you calling attention to the elephant in the room.

“Let’s talk,” you say those words easily despite the crushing weight on your heart. For a moment, you let your words hit him. So when you see him finally drop his spoon down on the bowl, you realize he was ready to talk.

“Changmin, I need you to be honest with me.” You swallow down the lump in your throat—almost as if you were trying to get rid of the anxiety. “Are you avoiding me?”

As soon as you ask that question, Changmin shakes his head quickly with eyes full of worry. “Oh god, Y/N. I’m not. I-I didn’t mean to come off that way.”

“So you aren’t?”

Changmin sighs before he lets his hands reach toward yours. As he grabs hold of your hands, he says, “I mean, I just needed some time away from you.” Before you say any more, he interjects, “But not in the way you may think of it to be. It’s completely all on me—you did nothing wrong.”

“Then what’s wrong?” As soon as you ask him that question, you are met with silence. His eyes trail down to your linked hands. “Changmin,” you call out so that he looks right back into your eyes. He does not.

You shake your head and free one of your hands from his grasp. Your hand reaches out for the underside of his chin so that you could lift his face. And with that action, Changmin feels his breath hitch. 

With his eyes locked with yours and your hand holding his chin delicately like a freshly sprouted flower, he feels like he is transported back to his dream. Every action you seemingly do only reminds him of his fantasy of you. It does not help that your worried eyes looked like your nervous ones in his dream.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Once the question leaves your mouth, Changmin snaps out of his trance. He leans a little backward so that his chin slips out of your grasp. “Yes, sorry. It’s not because you did anything wrong.”

“Okay, but why avoid me then? You know you can talk to me, right?” And he knew that more than anyone. You have always offered him a place for him to talk no matter what it may be about. He did not owe you to share his thoughts, but he is forever in debt to you for opening such a space.

He sighs as he finally lets go of your hands. “It’s… embarrassing,” he whispers the last word with shame overtaking his body once more.

“It can’t be that bad,” you attempt to reassure him only to be met with him avoiding your gaze. “I mean, what’s there to be embarrassed about with me? You’ve known me my whole high school life—it can’t be worse than that.”

For a moment, Changmin contemplates. You had every right to think that way, but you had no idea of his intimate dream with you. He knew he could get out of this. And yet, he found himself defenseless against you.

“God, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he whispers to himself. As he notices a frown appear on your face, he shakes his head. “Just, please do not judge when I say this.” Your frown stays, curious to hear what he has to say. “Before anything, I respect you, okay?”

When he says those words, you cannot help but let a chuckle slip out. “I know that, don’t worry.”

“Yes, but… ugh, I don’t know how to say this,” he mutters as he thinks about the best way to share what has been bothering him.

You reach out once more for his hand and hold onto it. “Changmin, it’s fine. Rip the bandaid out—for the both of us.”

He hesitates for a second. With the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes filled with guilt, you can tell he was struggling to get the secret out. Before you could say any more, he spoke.

“I had this dream,” he waits for you to say something. When you do not interrupt, he takes it as a signal to continue. “It had you in it.”

It takes you a moment to process his words. Yet, before he could say more, you found yourself saying, “Oh.”

“Wait! It’s not what you think!” He blurts out before you could assume anymore. “I swear, I did not have that type of dream about you.”

When you decide to not interject, he takes it as an opportunity to continue. “God, it’s just that we almost… you know… kissed,” he whispers that last word as if it were a sin with downcast eyes.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” You finally ask him, earning a nod.

Silence then settles between you two. For a moment, he does not know if he should say something or if he should let it sit with you. There were so many thoughts traveling through his mind—he only expects you to be disgusted by him. And yet, your hand still held his.

For some reason, you cannot help but laugh at the revelation. Changmin finds himself looking up at you only to be met with your shaking head which is accompanied by a small smile. “God, you’re that worked up over an almost kiss?”

As soon as you ask that question, he is thrown off by your casual nature. It is as if you did not understand the gravity of this. “W-what? You wouldn’t be?” He is only met with you shaking your head once more.

“No, dumbass,” you chuckle as you retract your hand from his and ruffle his hair. “There’s no reason for you to get so embarrassed over a dream. It’s not like you can control it… unless?”

“Why would I want to kiss you?!”

The way Changmin physically reels as he says those words make you laugh. “See! Then your dream means nothing.” You smile as you let your chin rest on your arm that is propped up on the table. “If it helps, I’ve dreamt about you too.”

Your best friend cannot hide his shocked expression. The idea of you dreaming about him is something he has never entertained until your reveal. “You have? About what?”

“Secret.”

“Hey, I told you mine!”

You can only laugh at your best friend’s behavior. “I’m assuming you told Sunwoo, right?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “He cornered me into telling him and Chanhee when he heard from you that I was “practicing.” It felt so weird to tell him.”

“Well, that’s Sunwoo for you. If it helps, he was also the first person I told about my dream of you.”

Changmin pouts at you while your grin remains the same. “I thought we were best friends.”

“Yeah,” you look at him up and down. “Until you decided to avoid me over a dream!”

“Okay, fair point,” he admits with a sheepish smile. “But I ended up telling you! Why won’t you tell me yours?”

You roll your eyes over his childish behavior and say, “Because mine is far more embarrassing than an “almost kiss” that you seemed to have with me.” With those words, he cannot help but be curious.

A frown now plastered on his face, his mind runs through every possible dream that could be more embarrassing than his. Nothing could possibly beat his dream of you—until his mind lands on a particular idea. With a small chuckle leaving his mouth, he asks, “Did you have a sex dream about me?”

“No.” The way you blurt out the word ruins the cover you built. And there is no way to save yourself from this mess.

“Oh my god, you did!” He exclaims with eyebrows raised over the revelation. “When did you have it?” When all he receives is an eye roll from you, he decides to push further. “C’mon! Like you said, my dream does not mean anything as much as yours doesn’t.”

You sigh out in frustration before you frown at the boy across from you. “First year of college—it was after I saw your recital where you performed “BOSS” by NCT,” you shyly admit as you avoid his gaze. Although you refuse to look at him, you can feel how his eyes bore into you.

“Really? You liked that fit on me?” He asks smugly to which you groan. “I’m kidding!” You roll your eyes once more as you let him finally take some spoonfuls of his bibimbap.

The silence that settles on you two is surprisingly comfortable. Despite the awkward revelations that came on both ends (most especially on yours), the stillness of it all does not make you sit in embarrassment.

“Thank you, though.” You finally look back at him. “I mean, thank you for telling me,” he says with a shy smile on his face.

Changmin has always been the type to keep his feelings to himself—the one to hide his shame away. You have always known that since you first knew him as Sunwoo’s friend. But you also knew that leaving a space for him to talk gave him opportunities to be vulnerable with you—all he needs is a little reminder.

You let out a sigh. “Just don’t avoid me like that again.”

“I won’t.” Changmin nods as he finishes his bibimbap. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

As you shrug, you are met with his frown. Before you could say anymore, you felt your phone buzz. While he observes the way your face shifts from exhaustion to pure euphoria, an ill feeling starts to poll in his stomach. “Nevermind, I’m going to grab lunch with Jacob.”

When those words slip out of your mouth, a weight is dropped right on top of his heart. The last time he felt like this was when Hwang Hyunjin was offered the center position for one of the routines that he was aiming for. He hates this feeling—why did he feel this way over how you mentioned Jacob’s name?

“You are? I thought your schedules were completely different,” he murmurs before his eyes drift back down to his bowl.

“Yeah, but he just texted asking if I wanted to grab lunch with him. Hopefully, we can work on the article after so that my life is easier.” You smile while you text away. Changmin only allows himself to hum.

“Are you okay if I go? Or do you want me to wait for you?”

When you ask that question, every part of him wants to tell you to stay. In the time he has avoided you, it is only now that he is starting to realize how much he missed hanging out with you. Every part of him only wanted to hold you close to him—to forever link arms with you every second of the day. But this is Changmin we’re talking about—he would never hold you back from what you want to do.

He shakes his head with a small smile as a cover-up. “No, you should go. I know you miss him.” As he sees your grin, he cannot help but feel his heart being tugged harshly. 

“Thank you!” You exclaim as you get off your seat. “I’ll update you!” And with that, you left your best friend. Now, he is left with thoughts and feelings he wishes to not entertain.

Before you met up with Jacob, you made sure to cover up your fatigue (thank god you brought some makeup) by hiding your dark circles. In contrast with the exhausted look that Changmin and Sunwoo previously saw, you presented yourself as you normally would when going to campus.

Now, you stand in front of a restaurant whose specialty lies in Korean fried chicken. Once you entered, you noticed that there were only a handful of students from your university. Other customers were those dressed in button-ups and slacks while some came in casual clothing.

As you look around, you spot the 5th-year who types away on his phone. The sight of him never fails to warm your heart. You walk towards him and greet him with a smile, “Hi, Jacob.”

When his eyes land on you, he flashes you that all-knowing smile (god, you will always be defenseless against him). “Oh, hi! Please take a seat.” He stashes his phone in his pocket. As soon as you take a seat, he says, “I already ordered the fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae just a few minutes ago, so it will probably be here soon.”

“Ah, thank you so much! I haven’t eaten the whole day,” you admit as you scratch the back of your neck. While you take a gulp of water, Jacob speaks up.

“You haven’t? Well, we’re gonna make sure you eat lots now,” he smiles at you which has you almost choking on your water—just almost. When you place the cup back down, you show him a shy smile.

Your relationship with Jacob has been complicated. Ever since that fateful night when he asked about your relationship with Changmin, something in the air shifted—it felt as if the aura he emits is different. Although his innocent praises stayed, he started to tell you things that made you melt from the inside out. From “Good job with the draft!” to “I like what you did with your hair today,” you did not know what to make of this new dynamic with him.

Still, a part of you wanted to hold back from pursuing anything. Despite getting to know him during the weeks you two worked together, you found yourself still valuing all his thoughts about you. In your mind, he is still the 4th-year who you idolized when you first entered the publication. 

“So, how are you?” You try to shift the conversation. “Have your professors been assigning you some heavy projects?”

Jacob nods and hums in affirmation. “I expected to have more free time since I’m in my 5th year. But surprisingly, my academics still take up a huge chunk of my time.” He sighs as he looks down at the table. “With my internship and the publication work, my schedule has been cramped.”

“I can only imagine.” And you only really could. You have always anticipated your senior year to be hectic as when Changmin and Chanhee were juggling their priorities the summer before their 4th year. The two never really got to enjoy that summer; they dreaded every day until the start of their senior year.

“What about you? How’s the final leg of the semester treating you?” As Jacob asks the question, you could only sigh. He could only chuckle. “I’m assuming it’s not going well for you also.”

You let out a groan before complaining, “Professors have this tendency to assign due dates for heavy projects before the actual finals season. I mean, I get it—they’re trying to do us a favor so that we can focus on actual finals but literally every prof is doing that.” As you were going on a tangent, you noticed Jacob starting to smile. “I just think that professors could have easily spaced out the workload.”

Before you could ask about what he is smiling about, an old woman comes to your table with a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and a basket of Korean fried chicken. Your stomach grumbles at the sight. As soon as she sets the two dishes down, she smiles and coos at the boy in front of you, pinching his cheeks. “My Jacob, I didn’t know you were having a date!”

Once those words leave her mouth, your eyes widen in shock. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks all while Jacob smiles at the server. “Ah halmeoni, thank you for preparing such a good meal.” He does not make an effort to deny your lunch being a date—the butterflies start to swarm in your stomach.

“Of course, my sweet sweet boy.” She finally stops pinching his cheeks and smiles at you. “Please enjoy your date.” Before you could protest, she left the two of you to serve the other customers calling her.

You cannot find your voice. Somehow, you were scared to let a sound out in fear that your voice would crack from how the woman described this lunch. It did not help that Jacob went along with it. And what made you melt even more is when he poured you a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and placed a piece of chicken on your plate.

When you stare at Jacob who pours himself some stew, he only shoots you that godforsaken smile. You may not know what you want with Jacob at the end of all of this. But one thing is for sure though—you wanted this feeling to remain. 

It is 10:34 PM. You are seated in your living room watching an episode of Bluey while your laptop remains abandoned. During times of stress, you always found yourself watching this show for comfort. Its digestible plot and heartwarming nature found in each episode worked for your weak heart. That is until you hear your doorbell ring.

You were not expecting a delivery—let alone anyone at this time. As you got off the couch and walked towards the door, you peeked through the peephole only to see your best friend dressed up in a white shirt and grey jogging pants.

As soon as you open the door, you ask, “Changmin? Why the hell are you here?”

The last time you saw him was two weeks ago—the day you confronted him about his avoidance. Your friend group was preoccupied with hell season (read as “professors assigning heavy projects”) and extracurriculars, preventing you four from hanging out. 

It was a miracle that you and Jacob managed to wrap up your article on drinking culture amongst students just a few weeks after Halloween. Now, you two were rushed into finishing the joint article on hustle culture in student organizations so that it would be published in time before finals season comes.

In Chanhee’s case, he was assigned more coverages aside from the ones he had to work on with you two. He always swooped in on time to film and capture the moments and left as quickly as he could to handle his other duties. It is crazy how you two are in the same publication but barely see each other.

While you and Chanhee have been preoccupied with publication work, Changmin and Sunwoo have been practicing non-stop for their competition happening tomorrow. They have spent almost every night in the dance studio going over the same routine countless times; sweating through every shirt they had; exerting every muscle in them; enduring every bruise that came from dancing. That is why you do not understand why Changmin stood before you when his competition was happening tomorrow.

“I’m here to check up on you,” he says as he takes his shoes off and sets them aside before taking a step into your place. You close the door and frown at the boy who was making his way to your couch. “You’re watching Bluey? Now you need to tell me what’s going on.”

You sigh as you make your way beside him and plop down on the couch. “I’m just taking a break from work.”

“Is it the same one from last time? The drinking culture one?”

“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’ sound as you grab your laptop. “It’s about hustle culture in orgs,” as you say those words, your best friend could only chuckle. “Why? What’s so funny?”

He raises his eyebrows at you. “Don’t you think it’s funny how you’re writing about that when you have been working like crazy for the newspaper?” As he points it out, you only roll your eyes. “I know you’ve been writing non-stop, so why don’t you just take a break?”

You firmly shake your head and say, “I can’t; my break was watching Bluey.” While you type away, you could feel your best friend start to rest his head on your shoulder as he watches the show without you. Oddly enough, you felt all the knots in your body untie themselves—it was as if Changmin helped alleviate the stress by simply being present.

The episodes play out while you work; searching up synonyms for basic words like “say” or “work”; typing out phrases that sound right; deleting every unnecessary word to save you on characters. After two episodes ended, you could feel your best friend tug on your arm. You look to your right to see his concerned eyes. “C’mon, you can work on that tomorrow. I don’t want you to overwork yourself tonight.”

You only show him a small smile. He is right. Over the past weeks, you have found yourself staying up countless nights to balance your academics and publication work. Your friend group is well aware of this (since you have messaged them during the late hours), and they would always remind you to take breaks. Yet, you never did allow yourself to listen. A part of you felt like you needed to work every minute.

When you decide to not say anything, Changmin takes it as a sign to get off the couch. “C’mon, let’s go to the mart downstairs. You really need to take a break.”

“But–”

“No.” He grabs hold of your laptop and pries it away from your hands. As you whine, he only shakes his head. “Y/N, I know you. If you keep this up, you’re going to get sick. So for once, just listen to me.” Your best friend’s persistence is something that you could not battle against. And after you let out a sigh, you find yourself getting off the couch.

Now, you two were sitting inside the convenience store located on the ground floor of your apartment complex. While you ate away on your cup of ice cream, Changmin was munching on some bread with red beans in it.

“Aren’t you not allowed to be snacking late at night before your competition?” He only hums as he watches you chew on the wooden spoon. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

He shakes his head and says, “This isn’t about me—I’m here to ask about you.” You can only sigh over his behavior. Being put under the spotlight is something you always dread, especially when it comes to your own problems. Changmin, of all people, knew this—but he only corners you when it is necessary for you would only bottle it all up.

“What about we talk about everything?” When you are met with a frown, you whine, “Changmin, you know I hate it when I talk about this shit alone. Let me at least hear you out.”

For a moment, he remains frowning at you. But just like him, you are persistent. He sighs before giving in to your request. “Fine, shoot.”

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

He gives himself a moment to think over the question before answering with, “Oddly enough, I feel a bit more confident about the competition tomorrow.”

“Hey, that’s good!”

He chuckles as he looks down on his bread. “I know. I mean, a part of me is still nervous but I feel like it would be good to end this on a good note.” He finds himself smiling as he looks out the window. “I’m just hoping we secure that win, you know? Considering that I have several center parts–”

“Are you really trying to flex that right now?” You scoff as you twirl the wooden spoon. 

“I’m just saying.”

“Whatever, you’re not all that.”

“Do you see me commenting shit like that every time you talk about getting clean closes on your articles?”

As soon as your best friend looks at you, he is greeted with a frown on your face. “You always do. Be so for real right now.”

“Just because you always talk about it! Let me have my moment,” he says which only has you rolling your eyes. “But continuing before you interrupted me, I still want to do well. I want to win for my team—let the mark I leave be a good one.”

You understood where Changmin was coming from. Even if he talked about being a bit more relaxed, you knew that this competition still mattered to him as a graduating senior. His passion for dance is something you do not usually see from anyone. At the end of everything, he wanted to prove that his love for this activity is something to be acknowledged—all the time he has spent dancing is something worthy to commemorate.

“Hey, and you will,” you say as you bump shoulders with him. “I know you will do good.”

He lets a chuckle out. “I know I will do good when you’re there.”

“Calling me your lucky charm then?” You smirk as you chew on your wooden spoon. When you do not hear him say anything, you turn your head to look at him only to be met with his small smile.

“Yeah, I do.” Just like a bonfire on a cold night, his words warm your heart. You never expect him to go with it. And yet, the way he says the words so easily almost makes you smile.

In an attempt to not feed his ego, you roll your eyes and face away from him to hide your expression. Before you could say any more, he spoke. “Now that we talked about me, let’s talk about whatever you have going on.”

You sigh as you look out the window. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s just the stress of everything, you know?”

“Okay, so tell me about it—go through what’s bothering you one by one.” When he says those words, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. It is during these times that you remember Changmin’s constant aid when you found yourself struggling in silence.

Despite being the talkative one in your friend group, you never liked to dive into your troubles. If anything, you liked to be the person who people went to for comfort versus the person who vents their struggles. Even in your early years of being friends with Sunwoo, he has known you to be the type of person who would discredit their problems. That is why it is not rare for you to sweep your difficulties under the rug. And every day, you always appreciate Sunwoo for being present in the moments you need him the most.

Funnily enough, the same goes for your best friend. Changmin was fine with talking about anything and everything unless it concerned his problems. He was the type of person to lock himself away in his low times—hide away so that he burdens no one. And yet, his walls would always break when you came into the picture. Because at the end of everything, you want to be the shoulder he can lean on. And just like you, he does the same for you.

Somehow, the universe gifted you someone who knew you from the inside and out—one who pushed you to the necessary limits that you needed to reach in order to grow. You could only hope he felt the same towards you.

Under his gaze, you finally found it within yourself to speak. “I don’t know what to feel.” You find yourself looking back at Changmin only to be greeted by his nod. “I mean, I don’t know what to feel about Jacob.”

You do not miss the way he frowns as you say the 5th-year’s name. “Go on,” he urges you to continue.

“I feel like–god, I don’t know how to say it.” You let your eyes trail back down to your cup of ice cream. “Ever since that Halloween party, I feel like something changed, you know? Like he’s still sweet but I feel so hyperaware that he might actually reciprocate whatever I’m feeling about him.”

Changmin only hums before he takes a bite of his bread. As soon as he swallows it down, he says, “You’re not happy about your crush showing some interest in you?”

You shake your head before admitting, “Crazily enough, I feel more scared.” You do not allow your eyes to meet with his. “Like, I love the feeling of spending time with him. But when I remember what he said at the party and all the other times he has said something almost flirtatious in nature, I feel myself freeze up.”

“Okay, why do you think that?”

You find yourself shrugging. “I feel like I still think of him as the 4th-year that I first found myself crushing on when I entered the publication. A part of me still puts him on this pedestal who I idolize versus a friend who I’ve gotten to know during my weeks working with him.”

You hate that it turned out this way. Every part of you wants to jump head-first into whatever you and Jacob have going on. And yet, you can never push him off the pedestal—almost as if he is forever rooted in that place. You are about to say more until you are met with a question that you do not expect.

“Do you, I don’t know, ever see yourself with him?” Once your best friend asks that, you cannot help but stare at him. “I know it’s a lot to consider.”

“No, you’re good,” you mumble as you let yourself look back out the window. “I… don’t know. Oddly enough, I don’t think I can see myself with anyone.” As soon as those words leave your mouth, you allow your eyes to meet Changmin’s which are only filled with worry.

“You don’t?”

It has only occurred to you that you have never mentioned this thought to him. Despite the many times you rambled to him about all your short-lived crushes, you never really had anything progress past that stage—let alone saw yourself pursuing them.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” you found yourself saying after finishing your last spoonful of ice cream. “To me, I’ve grown so accustomed to the idea that all my crushes will stay as crushes, you know? That’s what I’m familiar with.”

Silence engulfs you two for a moment. You let Changmin process what you just shared with him. But when you realize that he was not going to say anything, you chose to continue. “I have gone my whole life just doing work that I find it hard to even imagine a future where I’m not working.” You find yourself sighing. “Is it odd to think that I feel like I am put in this world for the sole reason to work?”

It is supposed to be a hypothetical question—until your best friend answers. “Y/N,” he calls your name out before his hand finds its way to yours. “You are more than your accomplishments, you know that right?” You look at him with eyes full of shock. There was not enough time for you to think of an answer as he continued to speak. “You are deserving of love—you always have been.”

You feel his hand grip yours a tad tighter. His fingers held your hand as if you could easily slip away. You knew it was his way of wanting you to hear him out—to believe his words.

It has been something you noticed since your second year in high school. You can remember the first time you finally started to pick up his small habits—from the way he likes to link arms with you to the way he tends to hit whoever is beside him whenever he is excited.

It is rare for him to firmly grip your hand. In the same way you would reserve these types of talks to be mainly with him, you could only hope that it was an action he reserved for you.

“I know that you may have gone your life under the impression that no one wants you in the way you hope, but there are people who love to have you in their lives. I know you value your work because I do too, but you aren’t just some commodification of labor—you are a burst of energy for Chanhee; a familiar presence for Sunwoo; a place of solace for me.” The more he continues with his tangent, the harder it gets for you to find the right words to say.

Somehow, he reads your thoughts and says, “I’m not saying you should dive in with whatever you have going on with Jacob hyung without understanding what you want from him. But I think you should at least entertain the idea that you can possibly have something with him.” He takes a moment to sigh as he draws circles on the back of your hand. “I just don’t want you to hold yourself back from getting something that you have deserved for so long just because it’s unfamiliar.”

And deep inside, you knew Changmin was right. He has always been the type to remind you that you do deserve happiness—whether it may be in whatever career path you decide to set on or hobbies you wish to pursue. And yet, you still hold yourself back from attaining something that stands right before you. Are you really part of the list of people who deserve happiness?

But you know that if you say anymore, the conversation would spiral down further. “I just,” you take a deep breath as you bring your linked hands closer to you. “I–I don’t know anymore. Maybe I just need time to just figure out whatever the fuck I’m feeling,” you chuckle as you look down at your hand that intertwines with his.

“And take all the time you need,” he whispers. Once you look at him, his gaze never falters. In those eyes you have grown accustomed to, you allow yourself to be exposed to him in ways that no one will ever have the privilege of seeing.

Your best friend smiles at you and says, “Come on, it’s getting late. I’ll bring you back to your place.” Once he stands up, he grabs your empty cup and wooden spoon with his plastic wrapper from the bread and throws them into the trash bin.

The walk back was silent—nothing needed to be said for you two were content with being in each other’s presence. When Changmin drops you off by your door, you smile at him. “Thank you for tonight. It kind of felt nice to have it finally out.”

He gives you a small shrug and says, “I’m always here to help you carry your burdens.” You cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug.

Before he could say more, you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He feels himself stiffen at the sudden action. And when he realizes that it is you who initiates the hug, he melts into it.

It is not rare for you two to hug—for you to initiate them, however, is a once-in-a-blue-moon experience. Although your best friend loves physical touch, it was never something you sought out. The most you ever did was link arms or hold hands—for you to bring him into a hug was unexpected.

As you feel his arms wrap around your waist, you allow yourself to release a shaky breath. Even if you were not a big fan of physical touch, a hug like this one will always bring you immense comfort. “Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. All he does is continue to embrace you.

Once you let go of him, he does the same. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my shining star.” As you say those words, Changmin cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips.

“I’ll wait for you, lucky charm.” You smile before entering your apartment. The moment the door shuts close, he starts walking away while fishing his phone out of his pocket. He dials one of his best friends and brings the phone close to his ear.

After three rings, he hears a groan from the other end of the line. “Changmin, it’s late. What do you want?” Sunwoo complains in his groggy voice.

“I think I’m fucked.”

“Ok–”

“I think I like Y/N.”

Changmin is met with silence. For a moment, he thinks Sunwoo hung up on him. That is until he says, “Expect me at your place in ten minutes.”

When you wake up, you expect to feel sluggish. But as soon as you start to feel your body ache, you realize that today was not going to go as planned.

“I don’t think I can make it,” you groaned out to your best friend who was on the other line as you waited for the thermometer to finalize its results regarding your temperature. “God, I’m so annoyed.”

“Aish, this is what you get for staying up so many nights!” Chanhee scolds you as you set your phone on speaker mode.

While you roll your eyes at his reprimanding, you hear a beep emit from the thermometer placed under your arm. Once you took it out, you could see that your temperature is at 39°C. You scratch the top of your head and say, “Fuck, I am sick.”

Unbeknownst to you, Chanhee was in the dance team’s dressing room seated near Changmin as he was getting his makeup done. Changmin furrowed his eyebrows at his best friend who was on call with you. “What’s wrong?” He whispers only to earn no response from Chanhee.

“God, don’t tell Changmin I’m not there,” you say as you store the thermometer away on your bedside table. You grab onto your phone to double-check if Chanhee was still on the line.

He attempts to joke and says, “Oh, so I can tell Sunwoo?”

You roll your eyes even if he cannot see your reaction. “Obviously not. I just–right now, they should not be worrying about me. It’s a big deal for them, especially Changmin.” As you whisper your best friend’s name, you could feel the guilt eating you apart. After last night’s conversation, you knew he would not be able to rest easy knowing you are sick. “Can you think of an excuse? Like maybe just say I’m running late?”

“I don’t know if I can,” He admits as he stares at the topic of the conversation who only has a look of concern. Before Changmin could say anything, he waved his hand at him. “Do you need me to book a delivery for you? Do you have some meds?”

As you peer over to your bedside table to look through the drawers, you notice some acetaminophen pills sealed up. “Yeah, I have enough to last me around three days.”

“I’ll bring some more when I visit you. What about soup?”

You sigh. “It’s okay; I can handle it. Just make sure to cheer them on for me.”

Chanhee bites on his lip as he stares back at Changmin who was starting to connect the dots. Based on the one-sided conversation, it was starting to make sense in his head what was going on—not only could you not make it to the competition but you were sick.

“Okay, I’ll see you later?” Chanhee finally asks. As soon as you hum, you decide to end the call. While you were under the impression that Changmin had no clue of your absence, the reality is that he was well aware of what was happening.

“They’re sick,” Changmin mutters to himself as he looks at himself through the mirror while Park Seonghwa, one of the makeup artists that work closely with the dance troupe, continues to pamper him.

His best friend sighs as he types away on his phone. “They don’t want you to worry about them. Just focus on the competition and we can visit them after.” As he said those words, Changmin could feel the anxiety start to brew within him; his heart started to feel heavy; his palms were getting sweaty; it almost felt like the walls were going to collapse on him.

Chanhee starts to notice that Changmin was drifting into a headspace that they wanted to absolutely avoid. “Seonghwa, can you excuse us?” Once the makeup artist nods and walks away to work on someone else, Chanhee quickly stands up from his seat and walks behind his panicked friend before holding onto his shoulders.

“Hey,” he calls out as he catches Changmin’s attention through the mirror. “I know that you’re worried about Y/N, but they’ll be fine. All they have is a fever. You though, you need to focus on your competition.”

“Okay but Y/N has never missed any of my competitions.”

Chanhee chuckles. “And you’ll be fine. You can always tell them about your win after, and I can record it just to show them.” But the thing is his best friend does not get why Changmin is worried about your absence.

He has been nervous about the competition since the morning came. But the idea of you being there provided him with immense comfort that he could tackle this. Without his lucky charm, he almost felt defenseless.

“I know you like them and all–”

“Huh?! That’s not the point!” Changmin quickly exclaims to cover up what Chanhee just babbled out. He whispers, “That’s not something you should be saying out loud.”

His best friend attempts to apologize. “Sorry! I just never see you act like this, so I thought all of this was coming from the fact that you like them now.”

Changmin only sighs as he looks back down to his hands that play with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t usually act like this because Y/N has always been present for every competition. And never once did the teams I joined place anything lower than silver.”

Chanhee cannot help but pout at him. “They’re almost like your lucky charm, is that it?” When he does not say anything, the best friend only sighs. “I don’t know if this will help, but why don’t you at least try to win without them? Instead of worrying about your missing lucky charm, take this opportunity to win this for them—for you, especially.”

Unbeknownst to the two, Sunwoo overheard a part of the conversation before he walked up to them. The two were briefly surprised by his sudden appearance. “Hey, you two,” he starts off before holding onto his best friend’s forearm who was seated on the chair.

“Changmin, I know you’re worried. If anything, I am too. I used to treat Y/N as my lucky charm since. They’ve been present for not only the dance competitions but my soccer tournaments in grade school.” He looks at Changmin with worried eyes. “There was this one time where Y/N didn’t show up because they got sick as well. On that day, I had a foul shot that caused the team’s chance to win.”

He sighs at the memory, remembering how much he cried to you on the landline. “In their comfort, they told me this: “You don’t need me to achieve the heights you’ve dreamed of.” And I think a part of me realized then that I put so much faith in someone who was only supporting me on the sidelines. At the end of everything, they want you to believe in yourself.”

As Sunwoo shares his memory with you, Changmin cannot help but think over the words you told Sunwoo. It is true that despite the skills he had, he always found himself second-guessing his capabilities as a dancer. And during the times he found himself doubting his abilities, you were always there to remind him of his worth. Not only did you do that for dance but even when you two still worked together for your high school’s publication. 

“Yeah, what matters most is that you win this, especially for yourself—this is your dream. No matter what happens, we will always be proud of you. We know how much time and effort you put into dance, and we’ll always marvel at what you do,” Chanhee speaks up. Since the conversation happened, Changmin finally found himself showing a small smile.

“Ah, there’s that smile,” Sunwoo points out, which only has Chanhee giggle. “C’mon, let’s just focus on making sure we get through this without any injuries. Win or lose, we still did well, okay?” Sunwoo raises his fist for his best friend to fist bump. Once he does so, Sunwoo smiles.

Chanhee smiles at the sight of him and his two best friends huddled together through the mirror. In the time he has gotten to know your friend group, he realized that all the bantering is just a coverup for how much love is shared between you three. Despite the quarrels and internal struggles, your friend group always remained firm in the idea that to love is to reestablish each person’s independence.

No matter how many times you three believe you cannot survive without one another, the reality is that the achievements achieved are all due to each person’s capability—it is just nice to know that there will always be people to support you from the sidelines. As Chanhee was dragged into your friend group, he found himself cared for and supported in every aspect.

He leans his head on Sunwoo’s shoulder as he continues to hold onto Changmin’s shoulder. Although Sunwoo was startled by the sudden movement, he noticed the smile on his best friend’s face. “You guys will be okay.” And with those words leaving Chanhee’s mouth, the two could not help but feel a heavy weight on their hearts be lifted.

Sitting on the couch in your living room, you were all wrapped up in a blanket as you tried to type away on your laptop. Not only were you disappointed about missing Changmin and Sunwoo’s performance, you were stressed about your article’s due date which was two days from now.

Despite how sick you felt, you still needed to work on the task at hand. It almost felt as if the upcoming deadline was breathing down on your neck. You would hate to cause an inconvenience for both your editor and co-writer. 

Your phone vibrates. Expecting to get a call from the delivery person who was bringing some samgyetang from your favorite restaurant, you see Chanhee is calling you. As soon as you answer, you say, “How did it go?” When you are met with a sigh on the other end of the line, you could feel your heart get heavy.

“Y/N, I don’t know where Changmin is.” You feel yourself sit up straight as your best friend reveals that information. “The competition didn’t turn out well—they ended up placing last out of the five groups who participated.” Your eyes close in sorrow.

For a moment, you hear some muffled sounds until another voice speaks up. “As soon as they revealed the results, he left,” Sunwoo let out a sigh. “We’ve been trying to contact him but it keeps going straight to voicemail.”

“We’re planning to check the athletics center first and the picnic where we usually hang out before deciding to check back at my place.” Once Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. “Do you have any other places in mind that you think he’d be at?”

“Uh, I think the park near your apartment complex would be good to check out,” you start off. As you tried to think of more places, you felt yourself hitting a mental wall—you were too worried about your best friend. “I-I don’t know where else he could be.” As you whisper those words, the unbearable weight on your heart is accompanied by claws that make it ache.

You could hear someone sigh for a moment. “Okay, if you ever think of more places, just message us. Tell us also if you get a message from him,” Sunwoo tells you.

“And don’t go looking out for him. I mean it.” Every part of you wanted to argue with Chanhee. But with his harsh tone, you realized there was nothing you can do in this state. He is right, you are sick—now is not the best time to go out.

While you tried to process the news, you were starting to blame yourself for getting sick. Especially after last night’s conversation with Changmin (and how he thought of you as his lucky charm), you could do nothing but feel guilt swallow you whole.

“Okay,” you finally whisper back. And somehow, your best friends started to notice how worried you were with how you said that one word.

With a sigh, Sunwoo says, “He’ll be okay. It was just a bad day.” Before you could say more, he cuts you off. “And it’s not your fault.” You feel your bottom lip quiver. “The other teams just presented a better performance in comparison to us—we would have never expected it. So don’t carry the blame, lucky charm.” As he calls you that term, your heart aches.

When you were first called that by him, you could remember the joy you felt. You loved to support your best friend in any way you can, even if it meant being treated as the one reassuring presence that made him feel like he was guaranteed success. But what came with being a lucky charm was also the burden of the title—having someone put all their faith in you when you had no control almost felt anxiety-inducing.

So when Changmin coined that term on you, you could not help but experience that feeling once more. That is until you learned that your absence was as coincidental as their team losing in the said competition. 

“Take care, alright?” As soon as Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. The call ends and you are left to stare off into the open space in your living room. Yet, not even a minute after, you hear the doorbell ring.

You stood up from the couch with your blanket still wrapped around you as you sluggishly walked towards the front door. When you swing it open, you expect to see a plastic bag filled with containers of the food you ordered. But when you see Changmin with a sorrowful expression holding onto the said plastic bag, your breath hitches at the sight.

Just at the sight of him, you decide against saying anything. With his shoes off, you only take a step to the side so that he could enter your place. You shut the door right after he enters and walk slowly to the boy who was placing your food on the kitchen counter. He was dressed up in an all-black outfit you could only presume to be the same outfit he performed in a few hours ago.

The silence is deafening; you are too afraid to let out a sound. As you watch your best friend keep his composure while he tries to prepare your food, dark limbs consume you and push you into a hole of guilt and sorrow. While he was still struggling to come to terms with placing last, he still was going out of his way to take care of you.

You took some steps forward so that you could be closer to him. While he opened containers containing samgyetang, kimchi, and more, you stood right behind him. And before he knows it, he feels your arms wrap around his waist and hug him from behind.

With that one simple action, he stopped whatever he was doing. You let your chin rest on his shoulder as you look down at his hands that were starting to tremble. As soon as you notice his head start to dip down, you knew he was going to cry. All while his body started to shake, you could only hug him.

“It’s okay,” you finally whisper to him.

It is rare to see Changmin cry. During your time growing up with him, you can only remember a few times when he shed a few tears; due to stress from school and his internship; when Gana went missing for a few days; times when he was frustrated with a choreography he could not get the hang of. But with the way he was shaking, you were not expecting just a few tears.

As soon as you spin the boy to face you, you could see tears streaming down his face. In an attempt to stop the waterfall and any wails, he bites on his bottom lip. And you realize that Changmin desperately needed to be cared for. You pulled him into another hug so that his face was snuggled into the crook of your neck.

With your best friend sobbing, you held him close. In these times, you started to understand what he meant last night—you are a place of solace for him just as he is for you.

Over the days you were sick, your best friends have been taking care of you—Chanhee mainly handles your medications, Changmin cooks or orders food for you, and Sunwoo takes your temperature and helps you out when it comes to using the bathroom.

Due to your physical state, Sunwoo had to tell Kevin that you were sick and unable to fully deliver in time for your deadline. As soon as he revealed that your editor would help Jacob in taking over for your assigned parts, guilt consumed you since you burdened them. But they were insistent on making sure that you got enough rest.

Stuck in bed, you were watching another episode of Knowing Brothers on your iPad while Sunwoo was scrolling on his phone. Your two other best friends were out of your place busy doing some groceries for you and themselves. As you watch the crew continue to joke around, your phone vibrates. Upon grabbing it, you notice a notification from Jacob.

Now sitting up, your eyes widen at the sight of his name. “What’s wrong?” You hear Sunwoo ask. While you ignore him, you decide to open up the conversation.

cobcob 🐰: hi y/n! i hope you’re okay :] please don’t stress about the article. you did a lot and i’m glad i got to work with you this semester!! cobcob 🐰: hopefully we can work together again for the second sem 💗 cobcob 🐰: or even hang out outside of student journalist duties :] y/n: thank u jacob </3 im very sorry about this T__T y/n: i will make it up to you by treating you to lunch! cobcob 🐰: don’t treat me to lunch!! it’s fine 💗 cobcob 🐰: instead, let me take you out

The moment you gasp causes Sunwoo to get closer to you and peer over your shoulder. Before you could scold him, he gasps as well. “DID HE JUST ASK YOU OUT?!”

“YAH!” You shove your best friend away. “I didn’t even allow you to read my conversation!”

“Oh my god, Y/N! Who cares! How much has progressed between you two?!” He exclaims as he starts shaking your arm. “Have you been keeping secrets from me?!”

You roll your eyes. “I haven’t! There’s just not much worth mentioning,” you admitted shyly.

“Liar,” your best friend says with a frown. “I bet Changmin knows everything.”

“He does.”

Sunwoo gasps and shoves you. “I was joking! But now that I’m finding out that it’s true, I’m hurt. I thought we were besties.”

You let out a sigh. “Then I’ll tell you. But I swear, it’s not much to begin with.” As he raises his eyebrows at you, you take it as a sign to continue. “I told you about what happened at the Halloween party, right?”

“Something happened?!”

You give him a shy smile. “Oops?” Your best friend gasps once more and smacks your arm. “I thought I told you!”

“Well, you didn’t! Does Chanhee know?” When you do not answer, your best friend frowns. “I cannot believe you are keeping secrets from me!”

You laugh and say, “I’m sorry! I’ll give you a full recap—no details will be left out.”

With that, you decided to tell him about the events that happened during Eric’s Halloween party to your supposed informal “date” over fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae. As you told the story, your best friend would gasp and smack your arm every time you revealed a new detail. Sunwoo cannot help but be impressed by how much had gone on.

“I still can’t believe you decided to not tell me.”

You pout in an attempt to earn his forgiveness. “To be fair, we weren’t hanging out much because of different schedules. And I don’t know, I wouldn’t think too much about it until… now.”

It is true—you were trying to find ways to believe that this is just Jacob being friendly. It felt impossible to believe that your crush was trying to pursue you. But with his most recent message, you started to realize that you were blind to his advances after all.

“Well, did you reply?” As soon as your best friend asks that question, your eyes widen. You quickly take a look back down on your phone to see some unread messages from Jacob. 

cobcob 🐰: if you don’t want to though, it’s fine! cobcob 🐰: just let me know 💗

“Oh god, what do I say?” You ask out loud as you point your phone towards Sunwoo.

Your best friend groans and says, “You are hopeless!” You frown as you face your phone back toward you. “Do you want to go on a date with him?”

“Yeah,” you shyly admit.

“Then you know your answer!”

You raise your hand to stop him from saying any more. “Okay, but I was telling Changmin this the other day that I don’t know what to feel towards him.”

“Okay, what’s the problem?”

You sigh as you look over the same message. “Honestly, I don’t know. I feel like I still idolize him, and I don’t know if I really connected with him during our time working together.” You look up to your best friend. “Like he’s nice and I really enjoy talking to him, but I really do think I put him on this pedestal. I would like to think of him as a friend, but a part of me still sees him as the senior I had a stupid crush on.”

Sunwoo only hums as he thinks over your words. “What did Changmin say?”

“He was saying I can take my time figuring it out really.” Your best friend hums once more.

“I don’t think a date will do any harm,” he starts off. “I mean, it might help you figure out what you want after all. And it’s not like you need to figure it out then and there.”

Your best friend had a point; you could go on a date without any expectation to understand your feelings after. You let out a sigh before looking down once more at your phone. Once you type out your message, you send it without looking back.

“Done!” You exclaim as you let yourself fall back down on the bed. “Can’t believe I’m going on a date with him.”

Sunwoo only smiles at you before he goes back to his phone. Unbeknownst to you, he messages Changmin about what just occurred between you and Jacob.

It is 3:34 PM. It has been a few hours since you replied to Jacob’s message. Now, you and your three best friends were watching 2 Days & 1 Night in the living room while waiting for the food to come.

You were wrapped in your blanket as you rested your head on Changmin’s lap while he rested his hand on your shoulder, rubbing it in a circular motion. With your eyes still trained on the television screen, you remain unaware of all the glances and smirks your two other best friends were shooting at Changmin.

“What do you guys have planned for winter break?” You decide to ask as you continue to watch the variety show.

“I’m going to Pyeongchang with my family,” Sunwoo shares as he looks at you and Changmin.

“My family hates snow, so we’re going to Malaysia.”

You hum at Chanhee’s answer before turning your body so that you could face Changmin. “What about you?”

“I think I’m just staying at Cheongju. My noonas are coming back home for the winter.”

You gasp as you sit up and say, “Yuna and Hanhee are coming home?! Oh my god, I miss them!”

During your high school years growing close with Changmin, his sisters have grown fond of your presence. Despite the age difference, Yuna and Hanhee have taken care of you as much as they do with their brother. You ended up being part of the Ji family with how much they cared for you during your years in high school.

“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “I haven’t seen them since 2nd-year winter break.”

Before you could say anything, Sunwoo decides to ask you a question. “Oh yeah, aren’t you supposed to be going to Japan for the break?” You shake your head before resting your back on the couch.

“It didn’t push through because my parents are going to be out of the country for a business trip,” you sigh. “I’m just going to be here rotting.”

“Really? You don’t have other relatives to spend the break with?” Chanhee asks you.

You shake your head with a sigh following. For most of your life, your parents have been attentive to you. However, when you started going to university, they grew busier due to more demand and obligations. You do not hold it against them for having to cancel the winter break plans—it had to be done and you knew there would be another time to go to Japan.

“Why don’t you try spending it with Changmin’s family?” Sunwoo suggests which makes you snap out of your thoughts. Before you could say anything, he says, “I mean, the Ji family does love you. What do you think, Changmin?”

You turn your head towards Changmin whose eyes were trained on Sunwoo and eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t want to intrude, really. I’ll be fine–”

“No, it’s okay,” your best friend cuts off. As he looks back at you, he shoots you a smile. “I’m sure my family would not mind having you for the winter break.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying here.”

Changmin rolls his eyes and says, “It’s okay, we love having you in the house.” You allow yourself to smile. “I’m sure they would love to see you after 2 years.”

With that, he wraps his arm around your waist and brings you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and continue to watch the variety show playing on the screen, unaware of the smirks your two other friends had.

“Oh god, am I mixing this right?”

Jacob peers over your shoulder and looks at what you are doing. As soon as he sees the mess, he cannot hold back his laugh.

You exclaim as you look back at the boy behind you. “Are you laughing?!”

“You’re fine! It’s just that I thought you overmixed but it’s very undermixed.”

Before you continue with the task at hand, you roll your eyes. “I barely bake, okay?” You shoot a playful glare at the boy who stood beside you who was mixing up the frosting.

“And I don’t bake, too!” He attempts to defend himself and then nudges your shoulder. “But you have to admit, this is fun.” You cannot help but smile.

It has been a week since Jacob asked you out on a date. You were able to recover from your fever thanks to your friends (which was honestly just an excuse for them to have a slumber party at your place). It was fun though—you kind of miss having them in your place.

Now, you were in a bakery that Jacob would frequent. He grew closer to the couple that runs it due to his visits. And somehow, he managed to reserve the kitchen for only you two to use (under the supervision of the owners, of course).

You could not lie—the date is cute. It is not the usual “dine-and-talk” that you have heard some of your friends go on. When Sunwoo went on his first date back in high school, you could remember how you and Changmin helped him plan it out.

“I don’t know what to do!” Sunwoo exclaims as he looks through his clothes. He moved every hanger, unsatisfied with every piece of clothing he had.

You and Changmin were lounging on Sunwoo’s twin bed with homework out while your best friend was having a dilemma. “I still can’t believe you managed to ask out Soojin,” you voice out as you were scribbling down the scientific names of common flowers. You nudge Changmin and ask, “Is this right?”

He takes a peek at your homework and lets out a chuckle. “You misspelled it. It’s Leucadendron—not Lucadeldron.” You roll your eyes as you erase your mistake.

“Science is not for me,” you say as you write the correct spelling.

“Yeah, well we all knew that,” Sunwoo mumbles under his breath as he still looks at his closet.

“Yah!” You grab a pillow and throw it at the guy. “Don’t you want us to help you?”

He turns around and frowns at you and Changmin. “I do, but you two aren’t even trying!” He points at the papers scattered on his bed. “How are you helping me if you’re studying?!”

Changmin sighs before dropping his pencil and getting off the bed. “Okay, what do you have in mind for tomorrow? Do you know where you’re going to take her?” As soon as Sunwoo shakes his head, you could only laugh in disbelief.

“You don’t have an idea?” Once you ask that, his eyes throw daggers in your direction. “I’m just shocked! To be fair, you have liked this girl since, so I thought you had something in mind.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t,” he sighs as he takes a seat on his bed. “This is terrible! I don’t want my first date to go bad.”

You and Changmin share a look as Sunwoo continues to wallow in anxiety. The two of you knew how much this means to your best friend. Who would not panic over going on a date with their long-time crush—let alone a first date? While Sunwoo was lost in his thoughts, Changmin pointed at his closet, giving you a silent signal that he would take care of his outfit.

“Okay, we’ll help you!” You scoot closer to Sunwoo and rest your hand on his shoulder. “Does she like to play board games? You can take her to the board game restaurant we always go to.”

“She doesn’t like playing board games.” He scratches the back of his neck. “She’s very competitive, and you know me.”

You sigh as you watch Changmin pull out a nice button-up shirt. “Well, does she like the aquarium?”

“She’s scared of fish.” As he says that, you tilt your head in confusion. “I don’t know. She once mentioned that she’s scared of the glass breaking.”

“Okay, can’t judge her entirely for that,” you chuckled under your breath as you thought about it more. You look over at Changmin who now holds three different hangers of clothing and decide to joke. “Changmin, do you have any ideas? Perhaps you’ve gone on a date?”

Your best friend looks over at you two as he still holds up some hangers of clothing. “Uh, yeah.” As he says that, your eyes widen in shock.

“You have?!” Sunwoo exclaims which has Changmin rolling his eyes.

“I was a sophomore when I went on a date with someone from the math honors society,” he answers as he raises a pair of jeans to envision the look he has in mind.

You gaped at him, in shock over what he revealed. “Goddamn, I thought you were bitchless.” Sunwoo cannot help but laugh beside you.

“Hey, that’s a good one.” As the two of you high-five, Changmin frowns.

“Yah! I’m not gonna give date ideas. You two figure it out,” he says as he continues to flip through whatever is in Sunwoo’s closet.

“No! C’mon, please! We won’t bully you anymore,” Sunwoo begs, only to be met with a sighing Changmin.

He looks over at the two of you once more who sat on the bed. “What does she like?”

Sunwoo hummed as he thought it over. “Well, she likes books, music, scrapbooking, and food.”

“Hm, you could bring her to the antique bookstore that Y/N and I always go to,” Changmin suggests only to earn a frown from Sunwoo. “Oh, I forgot that you hate reading.”

You tongue the inside of your cheek. “Well, you could also opt for a picnic date with some scrapbooking?” Your best friends look at you with eyebrows raised. “I mean, I should have some extra materials to spare since I stopped journaling.” When they continue to stare at you, you frown. “Jeez, don’t take my suggestion!”

“No, it’s good!” Changmin quickly says as he hangs the clothing pieces on the door for them to see. “I think this fit would be good for a picnic—fresh look!” The look is a navy blue collar shirt and a white tank top paired with beige jeans.

Sunwoo hums at the sight. “Damn, you guys are good with this, especially you,” he says as he looks at you.

Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “Me?”

“Yeah.” Changmin walks to the bed and goes back to answering his homework. “I wish I thought of doing that with someone,” he mutters under his breath.

You shrug and roll over. “To be fair, it’s something I would like. I don’t know if it is up Soojin’s alley, but it's worth a shot!”

Before you and Changmin could go back to work, Sunwoo jumps on you two which has you groaning. “Thanks, by the way. Once you guys go on future dates, I’ll help you out.”

You could only laugh as you continue to write some nonsensical names. “The day I go on a date is the day we know that nothing is real. Ain’t no way I’m finding love.”

And a few years later, you still could not believe you are on your first official date. Sunwoo did pull through; picking out some clothes; telling you what to do; easing your anxiety for the most part. You would have looped in Changmin for this but he was busy with schoolwork as finals season is approaching.

Since your best friends took care of you, you have not heard from him in a while. All you would get were short responses and excuses about why he could not talk or see you. You do not hold it against him though—he needed this time to focus on his thesis anyway.

“There we go!” Jacob exclaims as he looks over at your mixing bowl. “That looks good. We can pour it into the baking pan.” Once you nod, he moves the tray closer for you to pour into. Ever so slowly, the mixture created beautiful folds. The sight alone made you hungry.

“I’m so tempted to eat this cake batter up.” He laughs and takes the tray.

“We can’t have that happening! You need to wait,” he says as he walks closer to the oven that was preheated before you two started. You walk towards him to help in opening the oven so that he could place it in.

As soon as you shut it close, Jacob raises his hand for a high-five. “We did good,” you say as you high-five him back. “Hopefully, it turns out good.”

Jacob shrugs and says, “And if it doesn’t, I’d still be glad that we did this.” You only show him a small smile.

Everything in you wanted to agree with him. And yet, you hate that you could not agree with him wholeheartedly. You knew that your two best friends told you that you did not need to figure out your feelings for Jacob right after the first date. But oddly enough, you felt like pushing forward with him is almost like pushing mountains—unable to budge.

But it is not fair to completely shut him out without giving him another chance. At the end of everything, you want your first boyfriend to be him—you just needed time to rethink what you wanted. With that, you whisper, “Yeah, me too,” in hopes that all would be figured out.

At long last, you were done with the first semester. Oddly enough, you found yourself concluding finals season on a good note; saying goodbye to good groupmates and professors; acing projects you worked hard on; leaving classes with so much learned. The journey was not easy (and you would never want to experience it again), but you knew the next semester would be just as difficult.

Winter break came a week ago. Although Chanhee and Sunwoo already packed their bags and left as soon as it started, Changmin said that you two would leave as soon as the second week came in at the request of his parents. You did not mind waiting around, really. If anything, you were glad that you would be able to join them for the holidays.

It is 4:34 PM when you and Changmin arrive at Cheongju. As you take a deep breath of the air, you smile. It has been 2 years since you last stepped foot in this place. You notice that when you exhale, you see the air due to the cold temperature.

“Oh, I missed being here,” you mutter to yourself as you hold onto a hand-carry that carries your clothes for your seven-day stay in the Ji household. As you hear Changmin hum, you whip your head in his direction. For a moment, you swear he had his eyes on you briefly, but he was only looking off into the distance.

“Yeah,” he says with a small smile on his face. He fishes out his phone from his pocket and looks through his notifications. “I think Yuna noona should already be here. Let’s go to the pickup area.”

With that, you two drag your small luggage and make your way out of the train station to the curbside pickup point. Dozens of cars were lined up; some from those who resided in Cheongju while most were taxis. While Changmin was busy trying to get ahold of his sister, you stood close to him.

You have not told Changmin about what went down on your date with Jacob. The last time you talked about him was when you told your friends about him asking you on a date.

“So, I have some news to share with you all.”

You and your friends were sitting by the kitchen island with platters of gopchang and gimbap along with a bowl of ox bone soup. Since you were well from your fever, this would be the last night your friends were going to spend at your place. Everyone decided that today’s dinner should be good.

“What news?” Sunwoo asks with food in his mouth.

You say with furrowed eyebrows, “About my thing with Jacob.” Unbeknownst to you, your friends were already aware of what you were referring to.

“Your date with Jacob?”

As he says those words, you squeal before grabbing your phone. Once you open up your conversation with your crush, you hand off your phone to Changmin who is seated beside you. “I can’t believe he asked me out!”

Chanhee sighs and says, “I hate to break it to you, but Sunwoo already told us a few days ago.” With that revelation, you gasp.

“Are you serious, Kim Sunwoo?! I wanted to tell them!” You whine with your arms crossed.

The boy gives you a sheepish smile. “I just wanted to share the good news.” You roll your eyes at his response.

“I’m not going to tell you anything at this rate.”

With a pout on his face, he whines, “No! Don’t keep stuff from me, please.”

Before you could say anything, Changmin hands you your phone. “I’m happy for you,” he whispers with a small smile. You do not think much of his response, but when you notice your other best friends’ eyes on him, you cannot help but overthink.

When he continues to eat his food, the table falls into silence. For once, it was not comfortable at all.

Although you found yourself thinking about his reaction, you told yourself to not get too lost in your thoughts. There is no reason for you to rethink his words when all he has done is be honest with you. And if he was not ready to share something with you, you would be respectful of his boundaries.

Before you could get lost in your thoughts, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N-ah!” As you look in the direction of where that sound came from, you see Yuna in a padded jacket. She stood by her car with a big smile on her face.

Without a thought, you grab onto Changmin’s hand with your free hand and jog to her. “Yuna! I’ve missed you!” You exclaim as you let go of your best friend’s hand and pull her into a hug.

“And I’ve missed you,” she responds as she holds you close to her. “I can’t believe it has been more than three years since I last saw you.”

Once you two let go of each other, she smiles at her brother and grabs onto his arm. “C’mon, give me a hug as well.” Although he rolls his eyes the moment she wraps her arms around him, he allows himself to melt in the hug. You knew how much he missed his sisters even if he would never admit it to them.

As soon as the two stop hugging each other, Yuna claps her hands. “C’mon, let’s get in the car. Eomma has been waiting for you two since the break started.”

As she gets in the driver’s seat, you and Changmin go to the trunk to stow away your luggage. Once you open it, Changmin grabs onto your luggage. “Let me,” he says. Before you could protest, he pulls it away from you and places your luggage neatly before he sets his down beside yours.

You smile at him the moment he closes the trunk. “Thanks.” All he does is smile and nudge your shoulder.

“You can pay me back by doing all my chores.”

“Yah!” As you scowl, all he does is laugh.

“Eomma! Y/N and Changmin are here!” Yuna calls out while she tries to remove her shoes. “You can put your shoes here,” she tells you as she points at the shoe rack. As you and Changmin set your shoes aside, she opens the door for you three. Before she goes off, she says, “I’ll just find eomma.”

When you first step into the Ji household, you notice that everything is almost the same as when you last visited; the walls were still off-white and littered with picture frames of the family throughout the years; the soban is the same one you remember stubbing your toe against during the dinners you were invited to; the aura that emits from being in this household is still as homey as ever.

A rush of nostalgia fills you—your heart aches nicely as you remember your memories in this home. But before you can reminisce, something snarls. Your eyes set on a poodle who runs in your direction, barking non-stop at you.

“Gana!” Your best friend exclaims as he crouches in front of his dog. Although the poodle continues to snarl at you, he only smiles as he holds his dog close to his chest. “I’ve missed you so much.”

You sigh with a frown on your face. “I think Gana forgot about me. He was never this aggressive back when I would visit.”

He only laughs as he continues to shower Gana with love. “I don’t think he ever liked you.” When he says those words, you gasp.

“Well, I don’t like him either!”

“That is a lie and we all know it. You want him to love you as much as he loves me,” he says as pets Gana.

Before you could say anything, you were interrupted by someone’s squeal. “Y/N-ah!” Your eyes rip away from the two and land on Changmin’s mom who is already rushing to you.

“Eomeoni!” You manage to say before she pulls you into a hug.

“What did I tell you about calling me that? Just call me eomma,” she says before letting you go. She pinches your cheeks with a big smile on her face. “Ah, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.”

It is true. The last time you saw her was when you and Sunwoo graduated from high school. Changmin found time to go back home just in time to celebrate his best friends’ graduation. On that night, your families gathered for dinner to celebrate everything—whether small or big. You could remember that a few weeks later, you and Sunwoo had to pack your bags so that you could move to your apartments situated close to the university.

You smile at her and say, “Eomma, you’re still as young as when I last saw you.” With such flattery, she cannot help but grin at you.

As she lets go of your cheek, she shoots a smile at her son. “Changmin-ah,” she says while walking closer to him. Your best friend lets go of his dog and smiles at her. The moment he hugs her, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight.

“Ah, you’re still as handsome as ever,” she coos, which has him blushing in embarrassment.

With a shy smile on his face, he says, “Eomma, you don’t need to say that in front of Y/N.” All you can do is giggle at your embarrassed friend while his mother ignores his request.

“Y/N-ah,” she says as she lets go of him. “You’ll be sleeping in Changmin’s room while he’ll sleep in the living room.”

Your eyes widen in shock as you attempt to protest. “Eomma, it’s okay! I’ll be fine sleeping in the living room.” She shakes her head as she grabs onto your hand.

“No, I already talked about this with Changmin on the phone. He said it’s fine.” As she reveals that information, you look at your best friend who only smiled at you. With a pout on your face, Changmin’s mom drags you to his room while you hold onto your luggage.

As she opens the door to Changmin’s room, you are met with the same room you stayed after every dismissal time. “I cleaned up a bit, but I didn’t want to mess with Changmin’s things,” his mom admits as you take a step into his room.

Similar to the rest of the household, nothing changed; the single bed that you, Changmin, and Sunwoo would work on was still pressed up against the wall; the black oak bookshelf that held his old books still had the carvings you three would leave every once in a while; the corkboard that hung on the wall still had pictures and tokens throughout his grade school and high school years; the wall mounted shelf that held his trophies and medals. In this room, you could see Changmin in every corner—the one you got to know back in high school and the one who you cared for even until now.

“Changmin might come in every once in a while to get some clothes, but I’ll make sure he respects your privacy.”

You let out a laugh at what she says. “Eomma, it’s okay. I don’t mind him bothering me. If anything, I need to thank him and you for allowing me to stay for the break.”

She gives you another smile and says, “Anytime.” She pinches your cheek once more (to which you smile) and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.

You leave your hand-carry by the door as you look around the room once more. As you walk to the corkboard littered with photographs, you can spot ones with you and Sunwoo in them. Ranging from competitions to the first days of school, you smile at how much you three have grown through the years—from old uniforms and shabby haircuts to stylish clothing and redefined faces.

As your eyes scan through the other tokens such as ticket stubs and receipts, you spot cutouts of your articles along with his pictures that accompanied yours. Just from the sight, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. You always knew he did this with your past collaborations, but seeing it after a while never fails to make you smile.

Although you try to rest your hand on the desk, your hand ends up hitting the handle of the drawer. You raise your head in pain and hiss at the sudden impact. “Shit,” you mutter to yourself.

Your eyes settle down on the drawer that is now slightly open. You were going to close it—you are not the type to snoop. But when you notice a paper that has the name of your university’s publication at the bottom corner, your hand reaches out to open the drawer further.

You could not believe what you were seeing—it is a cutup of your article on hustle culture in organizations. As your hand grabs onto it, you notice that there are more pieces of paper. While you sift through the cutouts, you realize it is all your articles during your time in the university’s publication.

Throughout your university life, you were always under the impression that Changmin would read your pieces—never keep them like how he did back in high school. And yet to see the stack of cutouts that had your byline had you like ice cream on a hot day. There were no right words to describe what you are feeling now for you did not even understand it. 

Still in shock, you stack them neatly in the drawer before shutting it close. Before you could recollect your thoughts, you hear the door swing open.

“Y/N?” Changmin calls out as his head peeks out. As he notices your shocked expression, he frowns. “Are you okay?”

You quickly show him a smile. “Yeah, I was just looking at the photos,” you lie as you point at the corkboard. “I can’t believe we were so young.”

He chuckles as he steps in, taking in his childhood room. Once he stands beside you, he takes a good look at his corkboard full of memories. “Do you remember when we took this?” With his finger pointing at a certain photograph, you cannot help but smile.

The picture was of you, Changmin, and Sunwoo having a picnic during the winter season—red noses and snowflakes on everyone’s hair. All dressed in padded jackets, you can remember how your fingers were about to fall off from the cold while you three attempted to do some scrapbooking.

“God, why did we even do that?”

Changmin nudges your shoulder. “Because you talked about wanting to go on a picnic before, remember?”

Once you look at him, you notice that he was already smiling at you. “For a date! And it didn’t have to be in the fucking cold,” you say as you roll your eyes.

“Hey, you still enjoyed it!” He exclaims to which you only sigh in defeat. It is true—you can remember how you almost cried over your friends preparing that picnic for you.

You used to be bothered by your uneventful love life (even if you did complain every once in a while). But when you remember what your friends did to remind you of their love for you, you realize that it is not bad to have nothing going on—you always have them to keep you company when you need it.

Before you could say anything, Changmin let out a sigh. “C’mon, we’re about to have dinner.” He grabs your hand before shooting you another smile. “I’m sure everyone wants to know everything about you.” You wish you could pinpoint the reason behind your heartstrings tugging. 

Everyone was gathered around the soban which carried a hearty spread of kimchi, bulgogi, jjajangmyeon, and yukgaejang. The sight of these deliciously prepared dishes had your mouth watering, but the smell of it all is to die for. Aside from the times Changmin has cooked you food when you were sick, you cannot remember the last time you had a homemade meal.

“Please, go eat!” Changmin’s dad says as he hands Changmin the bowl of spicy beef broth.

As you grin at his parents, you do not notice your best friend grabbing your bowl to pour some yukgaejang for you. You cannot help but stare at him as he pours the perfect amount of soup for you to eat.

“Thanks,” you whisper as he hands you back your bowl.

He shoots you a small smile before proceeding to do the same with everyone else. “Yah, that’s too much!” Yuna exclaims, which causes her brother to stop putting any more soup into her bowl. “You know how much Y/N wants but not how much I want?”

“Yuna noona, I don’t see you all the time,” he attempts to defend himself as he pours himself some soup while she berates him.

You wish you could comment—a bowl of soup should not mean that much. And yet, you cannot help but stare down at the bowl that holds the perfect amount for you.

“Hey, let’s not have this happen in front of our guest.” Changmin’s dad tries to break the quarrel. “Come on,” he says as he grabs the bowl of yukgaejang from his son. “I’ll take care of me and your eomma.”

Once Yuna was done grabbing some jjajangmyeon for herself, she passed the bowl to her brother. “What time is unnie and Byungho oppa coming home?” She asks while she places some bulgogi on her plate.

When Changmin grabs the right amount of black bean noodles for you, you give him a shy smile. “You know, you can get yourself some food first. I can handle getting my own.” All he does is shake his head, ignoring your request.

“Both of them should be arriving early in the morning,” Changmin’s dad says before taking a sip of the soup. “Ah, another good meal prepared by eomma.” As he says those words, your best friend’s mom cannot help but smile. You cannot help but smile at the sight of them in love.

After Changmin grabs his serving of jjajangmyeon, he takes the platter of bulgogi and places a few pieces on your plate before his. “Let me know if you ever want more,” he says before handing it off to his parents.

You shoot him a small smile before grabbing onto your bowl. Once you take a sip of the yukgaejang, you cannot help but moan—the spicy beef broth coats your tongue that has you hissing out of joy. “Eomma, it’s so good,” you say before taking another sip of the soup.

Changmin’s mom grins at you and says, “Thank you! Please eat well.”

As you all ate to your hearts’ and bellies’ contents, the Ji family would interview you and Changmin about all that has happened over the years. In the same way you expect to be bombarded with questions every time you visit your parents, you do not get overwhelmed by the interrogation. That is until the spotlight is put on your best friend.

“Changmin-ah, you’re already in your senior year—are you not dating anyone?” His mom asks which has him choking on his soup.

After you pat his back while he coughs, he says, “Eomma, I’ve been busy with school and dance.” As he says those words, his mother frowns.

“But what will happen after you graduate? College is the time to find that perfect someone!”

“Or maybe he’s still hung up on Suyeon,” Yuna snickers before taking a bite of her bulgogi.

Ji Suyeon—the girl from the math honors society that Changmin went on a date with. After he revealed to you and Sunwoo about his first date, you two did not stop interrogating him. What came as a big shock to Sunwoo is that he has gone on multiple dates with her—from dine-and-talks to board game ones.

But the biggest shocker for you is that they were together for a few weeks. When your best friend spoke of his past relationship, he did not hold any ill feelings toward her. The two ended their relationship on mutual terms—their priorities did not line up.

“Hey, I’m not!” Your best friend attempts to defend himself with a frown on his face. “I haven’t even thought about her in years.” Yuna only shrugs before going back to eating.

“Y/N-ah,” Changmin’s mom calls out, which has you looking at her. “You’re always with him. Does no one find him attractive there?”

You scratch the back of your head and manage to say a few words, “Uh, I’m sure people do find him handsome. But I wouldn’t know too much since he hasn’t mentioned anything.” With a sheepish smile on your face, you cannot help but feel your face burn at calling your best friend good-looking right in front of him and his family.

“Eomma,” he whines after taking a sip of his soup. “I’m not interested in anyone right now. If anything, aren’t you happy that I’m focused on my studies?”

She sighs, “But I don’t want you to be lonely. Did you know that your dad and I met in college?”

“Eomma, we know.” Yuna shakes her head as she grabs some more bulgogi. “You always talk about it.”

As soon as Changmin’s mom shoots a look at her husband, he sighs. “Your mom is only looking out for you, okay? She just doesn’t want you to miss out on finding the love of your life.”

Their son sighs at their words. For a moment, you do not know if you should step in and back him up. With your eyes on his side profile, you notice that he is deep in thought. But when he turns his head to face you, you feel yourself crumble under his stare.

“I’m happy with Y/N.” You cannot help but feel your eyes widen. Staring right back at him, you do not know what to make of his words. But he does not allow you to think about it as he chokes out the words, “And with the other friends I have.” He looks back at his family. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out, so no need to worry.”

With a smile on his face, his parents eventually let go of the topic. Although they continue to talk about the other things happening in their lives, you still find your mind pondering on the first half of his words.

It is 10:15 AM. You were in the kitchen helping Changmin’s mom prepare some kimchi for the next month. Although she kept denying your help, you kept insisting by saying that it is only right to help out with anything at home since they allowed you to stay over for the holidays.

“Like this, eomma?” You ask as you show her the cabbage coated in kimchi paste.

She looks at your work and nods. “You’re doing it right! Cover it in more paste and it will be good.” You follow her instructions and continue to coat the other cabbage leaves with the same amount of paste. “How are your parents?”

You look up at her with a small smile on your face. “They’re okay. I called them last night, and they wanted to thank you again for having me over.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” she says as she shakes her head. “I consider you family—whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

You cannot help but smile at her words. It is true—Changmin’s mom has always been there for you and Sunwoo whenever you needed her. Even after Changmin graduated from high school, you two always found themselves in the Ji household. There were cases where your parents could not have dinner with you which meant eating with Changmin’s parents. You are thankful for them—they are your second family.

The sounds of her favorite radio station accompanied you two as you work. While you were focused on preparing the kimchi, you do not notice when someone enters the kitchen. “I thought you’d be more happy to see me.” When you look up, you cannot help but gasp at the person’s presence.

“Hanhee!” You exclaim as you quickly stand up from your seat. As she wraps her arms around you, you try to hug her back while making sure that no kimchi paste gets on her. “I’ve missed you so much.”

As she lets go of you, you see a big smile on her face. “My bestie, I’ve missed you.” You step aside so that her mom could hug her as well.

“My Hanhee,” she says as she gives her daughter a big hug. “Have you settled in already?”

Once Hanhee nods, the three of you take a seat. “So, how are you, Y/N? Is my brother still causing you trouble?” You can only laugh as you coat a cabbage leaf with kimchi paste.

“Well… he’s definitely something,” you speak as you work. “But I’m doing very well. He’s been a big help.” Hanhee hums as she watches you and her mom make some more kimchi. “What about you? How are you?”

She gives you two a smile before saying, “Surprisingly, I’m very happy where I am. Work can be stressful but… at least my fiancé is there to support me.”

“Fiancé?! You and Byungho are engaged?!” As you gasp, Changmin’s mom cannot help but laugh.

“Hanhee and Byungho recently got engaged,” she says as she removes her plastic gloves. “I’ll go get the container while you two talk.” As soon as she leaves the kitchen, Hanhee shoots you a smile.

“I’m so happy for you.”

She lets out a happy sigh. “I know, I can’t believe he proposed. Who would’ve expected that I would marry my best friend?”

As she says those words, your mind cannot help but drift to Changmin. The idea of him all dressed up in a suit as he stands by the—wait, why were you thinking about this? You briefly frown and shake your head at the thought.

“Honestly, you and Byungho are soulmates,” you say with a smile in an attempt to cover up for whatever had you in your thoughts.

She chuckles before asking, “Do you think my brother is your soulmate?” You cannot help but physically reel at her question which has her laughing. “Like, platonic soulmate, you know?”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you ponder her words. Changmin has always been your best friend—the reason why you are able to keep on going. In the same way Byungho and Hanhee support each other, you two always look out for each other. But would it be right to call him your soulmate?

Before you could answer, Yuna and Changmin came into the kitchen. “Hanhee noona,” your best friend says as he hugs his sister. “Where’s Byungho hyung?”

“Already looking for him? Why don’t you spend time with your noona?” Hanhee teases as she keeps her arms wrapped around him.

Yuna takes a seat beside you as she looks at the kimchi. “Wow, Y/N is helping eomma out while Changmin is lounging around.” She clicks her tongue which causes Changmin to frown at her.

“Hey, I didn’t know!” He attempts to defend himself. “Eomma usually doesn’t let me help out when it comes to kimchi.”

Hanhee shakes her head as she finally lets go of her brother. “Look at Y/N doing all that they can to help out while your lazy ass is just spending time with Gana.”

“To be fair, Gana misses me.”

“Gana misses everyone,” Yuna says as she rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you go help out appa and Byungho oppa outside?”

Changmin frowns at you three before saying, “I hate you three.” As soon as he leaves the kitchen, you and his sisters cannot help but laugh.

“It’s always so fun to rile him up,” Hanhee laughs.

“Honestly, it’s one of my favorite things to do every time we come back here.” Yuna smiles at you two. “Anyway, unnie, tell me what has been going on with you!” As the three of you talk about anything and everything, you do not forget about Hanhee’s question. For now, you will shove it to the back of your mind.

The next day comes. You and Changmin were on your way to pick up some food from a restaurant you two used to frequent back in high school. Since his mom had stuff to attend to, everyone agreed that it would be fine to have some takeout for today’s lunch. Although your best friend was supposed to go alone, you thought it would be good to join along (mainly because you wanted to explore the city with him as well).

“God, it still looks the same,” you say as you two were walking with linked arms. As you pass by the old mart you, Sunwoo, and Changmin would go to after school, you cannot help but gasp. “Even the mart is the same!”

Your best friend rolls his eyes over your excited behavior but cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips. “You’ve been gone for two years; I don’t think too much can change.”

“You never know!” You nudge your best friend’s shoulder. “Two years ago, I was still under the impression that Hanhee and Byungho were still girlfriend and boyfriend—not engaged.”

He shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “To be fair, I think we all expected that they would end up marrying each other.”

Before you could say anymore, you two finally arrived in front of the restaurant. The exterior of it still looked the same but old; the paint has chipped off of the letters; the wood’s color resembles sand; the fairy lights did not shine as brightly as they used to. And yet, you cannot help but smile at the place that sheltered your friend group.

As soon as Changmin swings the door open, you attempt to unlink your arm with his so that you could enter first. And yet, he makes sure that his hand still holds onto your arm. You cannot help but feel your heart warm at the action. Your best friend has always been the clingy type, so why are you feeling all of these now?

The moment you two enter, he links his arm once more with yours. The restaurant is small, only having six tables with each one having two chairs of their own. It seemed that there were only five customers in as they ate away on their tteokbokki and ramyeon. The cashier is manned by the one and only person who your friend group has grown close to over the high school years. Once his eyes trail up towards you two, the shock on his face is one for the books.

“Y/N-ah!” Minho, the owner of the restaurant, exclaims as he makes his way towards you. As soon as he reaches you, he wraps his arms around you two. You cannot help but melt in the hug. As soon as he lets go of you two, he looks at the boy who went back to linking arms with you and says, “Of course, Changmin! Oh, you grow even more handsome every time I see you.” Your best friend cannot help but give him a small smile.

“I’ve missed you, harabeoji.” As you pout, Minho cannot help but pinch your cheek.

“We’re here to pick up the food my dad ordered,” Your best friend says as he holds you close to his side.

Minho nods with a smile on his face. “Of course.” He makes his way back to the counter which you two follow. “It’s so nice to see you after so long,” he says as he grabs onto a plastic bag. “I see that time still treats you two well.” As he points at your linked arms, you cannot help but tilt your head in confusion. “I mean, I’m happy to see that you guys are together! I never knew you two liked each other that way.”

As soon as he says those words, your eyes widen. This cannot be happening again—what changed between you and Changmin to come off as a couple to almost everyone? You look at your best friend who stood beside you with a flustered expression.

“Ah no, it’s not like that,” he coughs out before grabbing onto the plastic bag that held containers of tteokbokki.

Once you look at Minho, you notice a disappointed expression on his face. “Oh, I see. But I’m still happy to see you two are still friends!”

Despite his attempt to clear up the awkward air, you cannot deny the unsettling feeling in your stomach. With people questioning the nature of your relationship with Changmin (along with the news of Minhee’s and Byungho’s engagement), you were not sure if what you have with him is platonic as you make it out to be.

It should not matter though. Whatever you have with Changmin is your business—not anyone else’s. What if your best friend always found himself linking arms with you? What if your best friend always takes care of you whenever you are drunk? What if your best friend still keeps newspaper clippings of what you write?

And what if you crave his presence? What if you care so much about what he feels? What if you cherish all of his competitions and wins? What if you did think of Changmin as your soulmate? But none of these should matter—what you two have is perfectly platonic. 

“Well, how long are you two staying here?” Minho snaps you out of your thoughts

With a bitter smile, your best friend says, “We’re only here until the end of this week.”

Minho cannot help but pout at his revelation. “I see,” he sighs. “But it’s still nice to see you, Y/N, especially after all these years.”

You shoot him a smile before saying, “Harabeoji, this might not be the last time I see you.” You take a quick glance at your best friend who seemed to have his eyes on you. “I’m sure Changmin and I can go here once more before we leave.”

“Ah, that’s my Y/N—still as caring as ever.” Your smile gets bigger as he says those words. “Tell your parents I say hi,” he tells your best friend to which he nods.

As soon as you two bid farewell to Minho, you make your way out of the restaurant, arms still linked with each other. Although the silence should have been comfortable, you cannot deny that Minho’s comment had you wondering about your relationship.

When the night comes, you are seated beside Changmin on his futon while Yuna, Hanhee, and Byungho stay on the couch. Changmin’s parents decided to call the day early and went to sleep early. It has been a while since you five last hung out together like this (while still missing Sunwoo).

“Sunwoo is pulling bitches?!” With the way Yuna exclaims, you cannot help but burst into laughter and lean on your best friend while Hanhee smacks her arm.

“Yah! Don’t be too loud when you curse!” The sister scowls before leaning back into the arms of her fiancé. Yuna frowns at her sister as she rubs on the spot where she was smacked. “But I can’t believe our little Sunwoo has grown up.”

You roll your eyes as you rest your chin on your best friend’s shoulder. “Barely,” you mutter, which only has Changmin chuckling. “He is unfortunately still as immature as he was in high school. I don’t know what people see in him.”

“I can only imagine,” Hanhee sighs. “But enough about Sunwoo, what about you? Has anyone stolen your little heart?”

When she raises that question, you cannot help but feel your cheeks get warm. As soon as the two sisters notice your flustered expression, they gasp. “Y/N! What have you been keeping from us?!” Hanhee exclaims, which makes Yuna scowl at her.

“I thought we agreed to not be too loud!”

Hanhee rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah, but that was before I found out that Y/N has a boyfriend!”

You lift your chin from Changmin’s shoulder and shake your head. “It’s not a boyfriend.”

“But it’s still someone, right?” Yuna shows you a teasing smile.

You feel your breath hitch in your throat. Jacob Bae is that supposed someone to you, right? So why could you not find it within yourself to answer the question?

“He’s a 5th-year student who works in the university’s newspaper,” your best friend takes over as he grabs hold of your hand that rests on the space between you two. Your heart warms at the action. “They’ve only gotten closer this year.”

The two sisters hum at the information their brother shares. “A senior, huh? I’m impressed,” Yuna says before looking at Hanhee. “Wasn’t Byungho oppa a senior when you first met him?”

The sister nods as she looks at her fiancé. “Yeah,” she mutters as the two smile at each other.

In that shared moment, your mind wanders off to how nice it would be to be secured in the idea of having an “each other.” Although you have accepted a possible reality where you will be forced to work to the bone, a part of you longed to still have someone who you could go back home to—you wish for a future where there will always be a place of solace curated just for you.

“For your information, your sister and I are only a year apart,” Byungho says as he finally rips his gaze away from Hanhee to look at Yuna. “But yes, I was a senior in high school. Imagine if Hanhee joined the chess club earlier—maybe we could’ve been together for longer.”

“Not even! I used to hate your guts when I first joined,” Hanhee argues despite Byungho’s arms still wrapped around her figure.

The fiancé chuckles before he snuggles his face into the side of her neck. “But we’re here after nine years—isn’t that funny to think about?” And truth be told, it is comical for you all in this room. Who would have imagined that the cocky (but loser) senior wooed the cold-hearted junior?

“God, get a room!” Yuna frowns as she throws a pillow at the two. “Ruined the mood for all of us single people here—aka me and Changmin.”

You pout at her before saying, “I’m also single.”

“Okay, but you have your senior!” She rolls her eyes as she stands up from the couch. “You all suck, I’m going to dip.” Despite everyone’s attempts to keep her from leaving, she retreated to her room as if she was never there.

Hanhee yawns before she looks down at her phone. “It’s only 10:45 PM? God, I am getting old.” Byungho chuckles the moment she sits up straight. As soon as she stands up from the couch, she grabs onto her fiancé’s arm and pulls him up.

“You kids,” she points at you and Changmin. “Do not stay up too late.”

Byungho rolls his eyes before wrapping his arms around her once more. “Don’t tell them what to do—let them enjoy their break to the fullest.” Despite the frown that stays on Hanhee’s face, she melts into his embrace as he drags them out of the room.

And there remained you two—his hand still intertwined with yours as if you were the last thing he could latch onto. The silence that wraps around you two is deafening, but you are scared to even let out a croak. You spend all the minutes second-guessing what should be done only for your best friend to beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, by the way.” As soon as those words leave his mouth, you cannot help but frown at him. “It wasn’t my place to reveal whatever you have going on with Jacob.”

You cannot help but pout before shaking your head in reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m going to be honest, I didn’t know what to say so I’m glad you took over.”

“You want to talk about it?” Once your best friend asks you that question with a bitter smile, every part of you unwraps itself from its shell—defenseless as a cub during the winter time. You would have bottled it up like always, but the late hours of the day held power unlike no other. In these times, you let every sentiment be shared with him.

“I–I don’t know,” you whisper with your eyes staring into the picture frame that rested on the wall—a picture of Changmin who you can only assume to be around five years old as he stood in a park with his baby blue shirt and orange backpack. You move your intertwined hands to your lap. “I thought it would be unfair to still be confused about how I feel towards Jacob, but the first date solidified my previous thoughts.”

You take a brief glance at the boy who sits beside you only to see that his eyes still remain on you. With no reaction from him, you take this as an opportunity to continue. “Is it weird to want him to be my first boyfriend? Even if I don’t know what to feel towards him?” You let your eyes zero in on your best friend whose shoulders seemingly tensed.

A voice within you was begging for him to know the right words to say, but when he whispers “I–I don’t know,” you find yourself lost in the end. Your best friend did not have the answers to every question you could possibly hold, so why did it matter that he had nothing to offer you now?

“I mean, what happened?” He chokes out the question as he moves his hand away from yours to wrap around your shoulder. “Did the date not go well?”

You shake your head as you watch his free hand reach out for your hand once more. In the way he cradles you, you felt all the walls you built collapse. “It went so well—that’s why I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” You look back up at your best friend. “I thought that the date would reaffirm my crush on him. But now, I’m kind of left with more things I don’t understand.”

It is not like you went into this world with everything made crystal clear to you. If anything, life always brought uncertainties. But at this exact moment, you only wish for what is certain—what could that possibly be?

“Hey,” he whispers before bringing your head close to his lips. As he brings your temple to his lips, you cannot help but feel your eyes close at the sensation—his lips on your skin as if it were the only thing that could bring you warmth during a snowstorm.

This should not be happening; you knew that this crossed the boundary of what you two drew during your years of friendship. And yet, you wish it could stay like this—you beg for the universe to let it remain this way.

But just as things should be, his lips leave your temple. The absence has you flutter your eyes open. As he draws circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, he says, “I–I get it, there’s a lot of things you don’t understand right now, but don’t pressure yourself into anything.” He takes a deep breath. “Feelings are weird, so just take your time.”

He repeats the first advice he shared with you the night before his competition. And you have no issue with him saying it again, and again, and again because a part of you needed to come to terms with something you kept avoiding—what were you avoiding?

You cannot help but let out a chuckle as your eyes shut close. What would it take for you to be sure of something? Why could you not find yourself jumping head-first with the boy you have fantasized about for years? All these questions and no one could answer but you and the universe.

With eyes still closed, you sigh, “These feelings are going to end up being the reason why I don’t end up getting into a relationship.” Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he continues his ministrations. “I just,” your eyes open and look down to his hand that wraps around yours. “I look at Minhee and Byungho and your parents, and I beg that I am lucky to have that.”

“And you will have that—it just takes time,” your best friend whispers into your hair. “It took them time.”

You let out a chuckle, and you do not think of the next words that leave your mouth. “God, if we’re still single when we’re thirty, let’s just get married.”

As soon as Changmin stops drawing circles on the back of your hand, that is when you are hit with the reality of what your words meant. What do you mean by getting married at the age of thirty? Why would you even think of getting married to your best friend in the first place?

And you almost blurt out an excuse, until he lets out a chuckle. “When I’m thirty or when you’re thirty?” Warmth occupies every space in your body—it is as if the sun has taken over the snowstorm.

“Maybe when I’m thirty.” You giggle before taking a look at your best friend who seemed to always have his eyes on you. “I might be able to find someone before I turn that age, so I can’t just marry you when I’m twenty-eight.”

He hums before he lets his eyes drift down to your linked hands. “Says the person who doesn’t even know how to feel about their crush liking them back.” As soon as the words drift out of his mouth, you cannot help but gasp.

“Hey!” You exclaim as you use your free hand to smack his arm. While he erupts into laughter, you roll your eyes. “Can’t believe you’re using that against me right now.”

His arm is still wrapped around your shoulders while his free hand still holds yours. You let yourself melt into his embrace before letting out a sigh. Once your head found its spot in the space between his head and shoulder, his chin ever so slightly rests on top of yours.

Nothing needs to be said—the silence that settles is just as comforting as the usual ones you two share. The snow falls; crystals form on the window panes; the night has grown chiller than ever. But you are glad that in the cold, you will always find warmth.

It is 2:26 PM when you and Changmin’s sisters come back home. The three of you decided to spend the day at the mall by yourselves, away from everyone else. In Yuna’s defense, she said that you three needed to have your own hangout without any interference. You had no complaints though—you love the sisters and their company (even more than you like spending time with Changmin).

You shook the snow off your hair as you three stepped into the warm Ji household. While you attempt to remove your shoes, Hanhee sniffles. “God, that was fun! It brings me back to old times.”

“I know, right?” Yuna sighs happily as she sets her shoes aside. She grabs everyone a pair of slippers and hands her sister her pair.

Before she can hand you one, she notices you still struggling to remove your shoes. “Come on,” she says as she reaches her hand out. “You can hand me the gift. I won’t do anything to ruin it.” You roll your eyes as you hand off the plastic bag.

A giggle leaves Hanhee’s mouth as you crouch down to undo the laces. “I’m just saying, I didn’t know you think about him that much—let alone at all.”

“I just thought he would like it,” you shyly admit as you finally get one shoe off. While you work on the other shoe, you say, “I knew he would get upset if I didn’t buy it for him.”

During your time at the mall, your mind was always on a singular thought—a person. In your time shopping with Hanhee and Yuna, you were always looking at items that a particular someone would like; chestnut keychains; small figurines from horror movies; plushies that resembled his pet poodle. You never realized it though, until the sisters had pointed it out for you.

“Since when did you like horror movies?” Your shoulders shoot up at the sudden question. You turn in panic to see Yuna frowning in confusion.

“H-huh? Oh, I don’t,” you say before pointing at the red-faced demon from Insidious. “I just know that Changmin likes the franchise, so I was figuring out whether or not to get it for him. But he doesn’t even collect to begin with.”

“Is that why you were also looking at the stuffed toy a while ago? The one that looks like our dog?” As she asks that question, you raise your eyebrows in shock. You did not know that they noticed you looking through the section that held a variety of animal plushies. Before you could ask, she squints her eyes in suspicion. “You know, I didn’t know you thought about my brother so much.”

“Huh? No, I don’t.” You reel back at her words. “I just know that he would be upset if I didn’t bring him back anything.”

Yuna hums as she continues to stare you down. “I mean, we’re bringing back hotteok for the whole family.”

Before she could say more, Hanhee comes in with a basket full of chocolates hanging off her arms. “Okay, I got what I needed! What about you guys?” Although you nod, there was a battle happening within you—you could not decide what to bring back home for your best friend.

“Just buy the plushie that looks like Gana,” Yuna suggests, which has you snapping out of your thoughts. “I’m sure Changmin would appreciate it since he always misses Gana whenever he leaves Cheongju.”

While Hanhee shoots a confused look at her sister, you let out a sigh before smiling. “Thank you.” While you were making your way back to where the plushies were, Yuna shared her observations with her older sister who could only gasp at the newfound information.

“Whatever you say, Y/N,” Hanhee hums as soon as you finally get your other shoe out. As soon as you set your shoes aside, you grab the slippers and plastic bag from Yuna with a small pout on your face.

You know that if you do not clear it up now, they will go on with their assumptions. With that, you let out a sigh. “It’s not like that,” you start. “I was just thinking that he would appreciate the gift. Also, he let me stay with you guys for the break.” A small smile takes over your face as you look down at the plastic bag.

Once you look back up at the two, you notice their smug expressions. “Whatever, let’s go in. The hotteok will get cold,” Yuna says before opening the door.

As soon as you three step in with slippers on your feet, you are greeted by Byungho whose hair is wet. “Oh, you three are back!” He gives Hanhee a peck on the lips which only has her smile.

“How was helping out appa in the garden?”

Byungho shrugs at Yuna as he wraps his arm around Hanhee’s waist. “Not bad.” But when Yuna raises her eyebrow in confusion, he finds himself fessing up. “Fine, it was hard. I didn’t know shoveling out snow took so much energy and time.”

Hanhee cannot help but shake her head. “Here,” she hands him the box of hotteok. “We thought of bringing back the family something.”

He smiles before unwrapping his arm around her. As he holds the box in his two hands, he says, “Eomma and appa are out to visit the neighbors, so I’ll make sure to save them some.”

“What about Changmin?”

The three look at you the moment you ask that question, only to see you fiddling with the plastic bag. “He’s napping,” Byungho says with a small smile.

You give him a nod before making your way to the living room. On the futon, you spot your best friend whose eyes were closed as he held his dog close to him. The two snore softly—almost as if they had nothing to worry about.

With a small smile on your face, you unzip your padded jacket and remove it before taking a seat on the wooden floor. Right where you sat, your face hovers over him. At this moment, you only realize now that Changmin has grown up since you first got to know him.

His features are the same yet different; his chestnut hair that is sprawled against the pillow is groomed better than his tacky haircut back in high school; the baby fat he used to have in his cheeks has almost vanished; his jaw is more defined than you first remember it to be.

But past all these changes, he is still the boy you worked with in your high school’s publication team; the one who manages to rile you up on the days you do not want your patience to be tested; the guy who has taken care of you after every party; the best friend who has permanently carved his place in your life.

As you continue to look at his sleeping figure while his sisters and Byungho continue to chatter away in the kitchen, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight. The smile that shows on your lips is undeniable—anyone who could see you right now would misunderstand.

But the voice in the back of your head almost begs that everyone would misinterpret it all—god, what were you even thinking? How could you even think of such nonsense? And yet, you only push those questions further back in your mind. All you care about at that moment is him—not you.

When your hand reaches out to swoop away the hair that rests near his eyes, you notice how he frowns at the sudden sensation. You hold back a giggle and retract your hand. When you set the plastic bag down on the floor, it rustles. And before you know it, Gana’s eyes start to open.

The moment he sees you, he snarls and jumps out of your best friend’s grasp. The sudden action causes Changmin to slowly wake up from his nap. Upon hearing the barking, he quickly sits up only to see you in cahoots—your face is all scrunched up as you try to hold his dog back from chewing you up.

“Oh my god, Gana!” He exclaims as he quickly grabs his dog from your hands. Although his pet continues to snarl at you, he pets him in hopes that he will calm down.

“Gana hates me.” His eyes trail up only to see you shaking your head. “He’s so defensive when it comes to you.”

Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he tries to distract his dog from your presence. With just a few more pats, Gana started to slowly calm down. “When did you guys get back?”

With how groggy he sounds, you cannot help but giggle. “Just a few minutes ago,” you start as you fold your padded jacket. “We have hotteok in the kitchen if you want.”

All he does is hum before kissing Gana’s head. “Go to Yuna noona, okay?” He talks in a baby-like voice and nuzzles his face once more into Gana’s head. Somehow, his pet poodle understood and ran off to the kitchen, leaving you two alone.

Your best friend’s eyes zero in on the plastic bag that settles on the floor. “What’s that?” With a small smile, you grab onto it.

“Well, when we were going shopping, I stumbled upon something that you might like,” you start as you twirl the bag around. “It was either this or some small figurine from Insidious.” Once you hand it to Changmin, he cannot help but frown in confusion.

As his hand reaches into the bag, his fingers graze against something soft. His frown gets deeper and you can only laugh. Once he pulls out the item, his eyes land on a brown stuffed toy—one that resembles Gana in almost every way possible. His mouth parts open as he spins the toy around to admire it.

“I know that whenever you leave Cheongju, you always find yourself missing Gana. So when I spotted this, I thought of buying it for you—just so that this can at least make up for his absence.” With his eyes still on the toy, you do not know if you should anymore. You take a deep breath before saying, “I also thought that it would be a good way to thank you. I mean, you let me crash your winter break.”

As soon as his eyes drift away from the plushie and then towards you, you let out a shy chuckle. “You know I just–”

And before you know it, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you into that all-knowing warm embrace. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as he holds you close, but you remember that it is just him who has the privilege of holding you this close.

It is only a few seconds later that he realizes he has hugged you without you initiating it. Out of all people, he knew fully well that you were often uncomfortable during these situations. But before he can unwrap his arms around you, your arms wrap around his waist and hold him as close as you could.

The moment he feels you ease into the embrace makes him smile. “Thank you,” he whispers into your shoulder before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. As you feel his slow and steady breath on the right side of your neck, you cannot help but close your eyes.

You and Changmin knew each other in every way possible—in every aspect you two willingly shared. Every left shoe had to come with a right one; rain is followed with sunshine; linked arms always came with bruised hearts—there is no other way to capture you two.

It is 7:42 PM. Tomorrow, you and Changmin have to go back to your apartments since the second semester will commence three days from now. The time you spent in the Ji household is unlike no other—you hope you can visit again during the upcoming breaks. You did not want to say goodbye to it all; the home-cooked meals Changmin’s mom provided; the spicy tteokbokki Minho always prepared for you only; the town that you grew up in.

“I don’t want to go back tomorrow,” you whine as you stand in the kitchen while holding a cup of jujube tea that Hanhee prepared for you. “I just want to stay in Cheongju with you guys.”

The weather is still cold as ever; the crystals on the window panes have grown frustrating to look at; the snow that piles on the lawn is immovable; the idea of walking out of the house is unimaginable.

Yuna laughs while leaning on the kitchen counter before taking a sip of her tea. “You know we won’t be here either, right? You’ll be staying with our parents.”

“I don’t mind.”

The sisters shake their heads with smiles on their faces. “I’m sure our parents wouldn’t mind either, but you have to continue with your studies,” says Hanhee.

With a frown on your face, you retort, “Well, I could still drop out.”

She crosses her arms as she raises her eyebrows at you. “Okay, and you’ll do what?”

“Well,” you pause as you take a moment to think. You scrambled for ideas, only to blubber them out without a second thought.

“I could work with your dad with gardening stuff!”

Yuna scoffs, “You can’t even take care of plants.”

“Well, Minho would most definitely offer me a job at his restaurant.”

“Minho is not looking to hire someone,” Hanhee counters.

You scratch the back of your neck. “I’m sure someone will need me here.”

“And your parents will scold you for not continuing your education. Do you want that?” The moment Yuna asks you that has you pouting.

“I was just kidding,” you whisper before taking another sip of your tea.

The sister lets out a sigh before saying, “We know that. You know, just enjoy your college years! You’re only in your second year anyway.” While she shoots you a smile, you cannot help but frown. “I know, university is hard. I’ve gone through it all, but I would much prefer undergoing those years, again and again, rather than facing what adulthood has forced upon me.”

As soon as Yuna looks at her sister, Hanhee takes it as a sign to continue the thought. “Yeah, it’s not fun working an 8-5 hour desk job while having to worry about taxes or groceries.” When she thinks of more things to complain about, you notice the way she almost physically reels at the thought. “Jesus, I hate being a working adult. I realized I need to pay my statement to the bank every month and work ungodly hours to provide barely for me and Byungho.”

The moment your expression shifts from its frown to a terrified one, Yuna decides to cut her sister off. “Okay, let’s not scare Y/N too much,” she chuckles as she sets her cup on the counter. “Adulthood is scary, but you’ll get through it. Yeah, fuck having to pay bills or balancing chores all while working how many hours. But trust me, you will manage.”

Although Yuna attempts to ease your anxieties, you feel the floor swallow you whole. All the times you said you felt secure in your future—lies. It is always about deluding yourself into being okay with everything, but the reality is that you are dreading every second that passes.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” Hanhee snaps her fingers to get you out of your thoughts. When your eyes settle on her, you notice the small reassuring smile that rests on her lips. “I promise, you’ll be okay.” She walks to you and wraps her arm around you. “Most especially if you have someone to lean on throughout the journey.”

As she says those words, you frown. “What are you trying to insinuate?”

“Me?” She laughs as she drops her arm from your shoulders. “I’m not insinuating anything… unless you are?”

Everyone in the kitchen knew what her words entailed, and you did not want to acknowledge whatever they speculated about your feelings. You have full control over what you feel—you are not going to allow others’ opinions to influence you.

You roll your eyes before finishing the remnants of your tea. “Whatever,” you mutter as you wash the cup. “There’s nothing going on.” Once you set it aside to dry, you spin around to see the two raise their eyebrows at you.

“Whatever, we’ll leave you to your loverboy.” The moment Yuna says that makes you gasp, making your eyes face towards the living room where Changmin is busy playing with Gana.

“You can’t say that out loud!” You scold her as quietly as possible.

The sisters burst into giggles before taking their cups of tea in their hands. “We’re going to our rooms. You two have fun.” They do not attempt to listen to your protests as they make their way out of the kitchen. Now, you are left on your own while your friends think whatever they want to think.

As you let out a sigh, you allow your feet to take you to the living room. Upon entering, your eyes land on your best friend who sat in front of his dog while holding up the plushie you got him. His eyes hold every possible star in the universe as he plays with his one and only.

“Gana! Look at this, it’s you!” Changmin coos at his dog who only stares up at him in confusion. Although he shakes the toy at him, Gana stays stuck in place as he tilts his head.

Before you know it, you let out a chuckle at the sight. As your best friend turns his head towards you, he shoots you a grin—one that has been permanently stamped into your memories only for you to remember.

Once he diverts his attention from his pet, the dog cannot help but bark at him. He lets out a sigh before dropping the plushie and wrapping his arms around Gana. “You are so needy, you know that? Just like Y/N over there.” The moment he points at you makes you gasp.

“I am not needy.” Despite your attempt to defend yourself, your best friend only rolls his eyes.

“I’ve known you for five years. You are needy, even needier than Sunwoo,” he says, which only has you frowning. As he sees your expression shift, he cannot help but laugh. “C’mon, sit with me.”

When he says those words, the poodle in his arms starts to growl. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you say as you look back at the dog who has his eyes on you.

Despite Gana’s behavior, Changmin shakes his head before saying, “Trust me, just sit down.” With his pleading eyes staring right at you, you felt helpless to his requests. Even if a dog were to bite your hand off, you wanted to follow his requests. And somehow, you found yourself taking a seat on the floor right beside him.

Gana starts to bark which only makes you put some distance between you and Changmin. However, as your best friend starts to stroke the dog’s fur, you notice the way Gana starts to calm down.

“What we’re going to do today is get Gana used to you.” As the words leave his mouth, you look at him with wide eyes. Upon seeing your reaction, he cannot help but chuckle. “It is possible. You see the bag of treats on the coffee table?” You turn your head to spot what he was talking about. “Just get some—he’s usually weak to treats.”

You shoot him an unsure look, almost betting every poker chip that this would not go well. But when he shows you his reassuring smile, you feel all resolve crumble just like that. As your hand reaches out into the bag, you grab a small handful of dog treats.

“Okay, keep your hand closed first,” he says as soon as you bring your hand out. “Place it near Gana’s snout and he’ll smell the treats.” You follow his instructions, allowing the defensive dog to place his nose near your hand.

As soon as Gana gets a whiff of the dog treats, he continues to smell your hand. “Okay, you can open it now.” And as you follow his instructions, the poodle starts to eat the treats out of your hand. You cannot hide the shocked expression on your face. “See, he’ll start warming up to you.” Your eyes snap back up at Changmin who was smiling at his dog getting along with his best friend.

Since you first arrived at the Ji household, Gana has always remained hostile against you. And just after following your best friend’s instructions, the poodle was slowly getting used to you. You knew that Gana’s assertive nature only came from a place of wanting to protect his owner—who would not want to protect a boy like him?

This continued for a few more rounds until Changmin felt like that was enough treats for Gana to trust you. “Okay, let him sniff your hand once more.” As you follow his orders, his dog sniffs your skin. “Now, you can pet him.”

“Are you sure?” You ask as your eyes snap back up to him.

When you are only met with a nod, your eyes fall back on Gana who continues to sniff you. Once your hand raises from its position, you notice how his eyes follow it. The moment you find your hand stroking on the fur that rested on his back is almost as magical for everyone—the way Gana finds himself enjoying your touch is something you do not expect.

“Oh my god, he’s back to liking me again,” you whisper which has your best friend giggling.

Nothing needed to be said at that moment—the silence that falls on you three is comfortable. Your eyes always found themselves flickering between your best friend and his dog who only seemed to care about each other’s comfort. You do not miss the way Changmin smiles over how Gana closes his eyes at the sensation.

Seeing him like this—all soft and playful with someone he adores—tugs on your heartstrings. In your years of knowing him, you always knew of his soft spot for his dog. But something about this particular moment made it different. As your eyes zero in on the guy who sits next to you, you start to see every memory play out.

The first time you see him in your high school’s club room is almost an experience you will never forget. With the ways your hands clammed up at the sight of the intimidating boy, you can remember every thought running through your mind—the most memorable one being “resign from the newspaper team.” Can you believe it took you two being forced to work together that started your friendship?

You do not forget about all the times he came to you with a grin plastered on his face while he held the latest broadsheet that held your bylines together. With every article published, he never fails to mention how proud he is of you.

And with every dance competition you watch, you always see Changmin and Sunwoo achieve even higher than what their dreams set them up for. For every medal and trophy won, you never forget to tell the two how happy you are to have them as your best friends.

When Changmin’s graduation came, you will never forget the tears that streamed down yours and Sunwoo’s faces. Even on his special day, his two best friends could not help but be crybabies. You do not forget about the way he wiped the tears away with a smile that only provided you more comfort than words ever could.

On the day you and Sunwoo graduated, you can never forget how you two leaped at the sight of Changmin back in Cheongju. His arms wrapped around you two as if you were the last things on earth he could hold onto. That day only ended on a high note—one that you can hope to chase.

And when you first entered university and got accepted into the publication team, you will never forget how his expression shifted into genuine joy. The words he told you on that day are some you will never forget: “Every day, you are destined for greatness.”

With every lunch, you never forget how you find your heart leaping at the sight of him waiting outside of your classroom. In the same way you wait for him after class, you notice how his expression shifts from exhaustion to happiness. He never forgets to link arms with you every time you make your way to the picnic table you two consider your hideout.

The moment you share about your crush on the unattainable senior in your staff only had him laughing. And yet, he still indulged in your love-drunk rambles (even if nothing happened between you two). He never rained on your love train for all he seemed to care about is that you tell him everything.

When you bring Chanhee into your friend group, you do not forget how he connected with your two childhood best friends in an instant. The addition of Chanhee into your group of three made sense—you would not be the people you are today if someone were to be removed.

And at every party, Changmin always took care of you in your intoxicated state. Every time you needed to puke your guts out or desperately needed to drink water, he was always there to keep you company—to hold back your hair or bring you enough water that would help in sobering you up.

With every sentimental talk you two share, you never fail to see his attentive eyes on you—the way he holds onto your hand whenever you find yourself being vulnerable with him has become an ingrained action of his. And with every time you like to downplay every issue you face, he is always there to remind you of what you seemingly deserve.

Everywhere he goes, he brings warmth—one that you never feel from anyone else. Just from his existence, you always find yourself thanking the universe for bringing him to you. Because even if he loved to make fun of you in every way possible, you knew that it all came from a place of care—a place of love.

And just like that, you feel the crushing weight on your heart lifted. The moment of clarity finally pushed you to open your arms to what you had been tiptoeing around.

Oh.

Oh.

It is not as scary as you made it out to be. “I think I like you.” You do not realize the words you whisper under your breath without any second thought. It is soft just like how water slowly trickles down a faucet. But even the droplet sounds are ones you never want to hear on a quiet night.

You clear your throat loudly in hopes that it would cover up what you slipped out. “God, are you okay?” Your best friend asks as soon as your hand retreats from petting Gana.

With you shaking your head, you say, “Yeah! I think it’s just the cold weather getting to me.” You push yourself off the floor so that you can stand up. “I think I’ll just stay in my room and pack up for tomorrow.” Although his eyebrows furrow at your odd behavior, you do not allow him to say anything as you quickly make your way out of the living room.

On your way back to the room, you could only mentally scold yourself for coming to such a revelation—for even whispering such words without any second thought. You can only hope that your words were not heard by him. And while you found yourself panicking over the moment that occurred only minutes ago, your best friend was having an internal debate on whether he heard you say the words he has been dreaming of.

if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this and part one!

[sickassastrology]

Who’s crushin on ya!? 😏🥰😍 This is a general pick a pile reading for the collective and your person. It may not resonate for all, so just take what sticks. Feel free to pick just one pile or take a look at them all. but please....be honest with your story. remember that timing is fluid and free will is something we all have. This could have already happened, your going through it, or will happen. Follow your heart always. -E 🌻💙

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PILE 1 ⭐️⭐️⭐️

So pile 1 your person is STUCK on you. This is someone from your past crushin on you. They just cant seem to get you out of their head-its literally making them sick. It’s like they have tried everything to distract themselves. But at the end of the day they are just worried sick, and have to speak whats on their mind. I see two 8s here so that number could be important to you or the connection. This person will be reaching out to you. this person lost you. You walked away from them and continued on with your life. And now that you left them, they are in a state of grief that you aren’t with them anymore. Ohhhhh, I see why you did....they were low vibes, huh? Had additions and didn’t want to come out of them either. Just stuck to their ball and chain. You gave A LOT to this connection. so much so that you were getting drained. I’m seeing a heart monitor, so it was like you were pumping love to this person on life support. And they were taking it. And it helped them, but they didn’t give it back because they didn’t have it. So-you had to leave. im getting that you had NOTHING left. Like even if you tried or wanted to give or have more for this person. they sucked you dry. And this hurt you. I am getting a betrayal energy from this person. They are stalking you too. If you moved on, they are looking at the new person around too. i heard the song “what we could have been“ by H.E.R. I see a guy driving around in his car at night listening to music smoking. So this person is dead in their feelings about you. They are reminiscing a lot about you. Don’t move too fast pile 1 because they are coming back. This person has done some work on themselves while they have been away too. They have been listening to spirit more. You were a divine light to them. you were placed in this persons path to help them with their addictions, help them be a better person. But nope they wanted to stay in the low vibes. like I always say, “and empress will never stay where she isn’t wanted. She will leave-BUT she will always be wanted back. She will always be needed. And this person, pile 1 needs you. i just heard I can’t live without you. So look out because they are coming around the mountain. Good luck. 😉

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PILE 2 🧿🧿🧿

Hi pile 2. Right off....this person wants to come back to you. But right now is a bad time. This person had a third party in the past and because of it, you cut them off. I don’t get the sense that this was a super long relationship. More of the beginning stages of developing into one. But this person was playing the field still. And you were having none of it. Youve been through enough. So you told them like it was, and if they try to come back again. You’ll tell them....again!! 😂 because you stood your ground, they view you as somebody different. I get that this person is used to getting over on people. But not with you so when you turned them away and cut them off. It forced them to make decision. and now their other options, I’m getting multiple people involved. They are done with them now. They have chosen you, and they are looking to come back. But boy oh boy they do have a ways to get there. This person could be at distance from you. I’m getting across water or state so they may travel to get there to you. but they have got to come correct because you are not playing! I get the sense of your not coming off of your throne-you just won’t do it. This group is no nonsense I mean honestly. 😩 your ready. You know your worth, and you are worthy of something good. You will not settle, nooooo not this time. Because youve already been through this. your heart can’t be played with anymore. This person is sad without you. They thought the other options would be better than you. Like oh “ill just go in my back pocket and choose from these”. But none were like you, so because of that....they feel STUPID. they feel so dumb, so sad that when they do come back. they won’t be able to even get a word in because you won’t hear them out. The “others“ are still coming for your person. Talk to them, be with them. But your person is just like no, I dont Want to be bothered, I want my bae back. But hey.....you may or may not be there when they decide to come. like they call you and if you answer then okay but if not, oh well. 😂 this person regrets what they've done. So dumb, so silly. To think....the other options were going to fulfill them. But they were sadly mistaken. pity boy, pity gal. 🥲 this person had options out the buttttt. They were playa playa from the Himalayas. this Person tried to play you, get over on you. And you found out. And said no not me, you WILL NOT do this to me. And they never had anyone do that to them. pile 2 I’m seeing you already know what it feels like to be not considered in a high regard. and You won’t do it again! Like if they want the others...go BYE! and now this person is feeling like they sabotaged this with you. They were living their ego. Somebody who has multiple options like that needs their ego to be fed. Like if the main person they want doesn’t work out or something happens they have backups. They can just go to someone else. Now this person feels like they aren’t enough for YOU! They now lack confidence, they are the jealous ones. They self-sabotaged. So yeah this person will come back with time, but your address may have changed by that time. *I just want to say I’m very proud of this group. A lot of lessons and growth!* best of luck! 😁

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PILE 3 🌸🌸🌸

alrighty pile 3, welcome! So this read will be more intuitive. Ironically enough, this group pulled three cards. So let’s get into it!.....*moment of silence because the energy is rather intense here*. I heard the song “baby come back” by player. I’m feeling this group has moved on from their person tbh. Like it’s just too little, too late for this person. This was somebody you walked away from. There was A LOTTT of love here. but also secrets and fears in this connection. With this person, your energy is coming up as “how could you do this to me-ME. Not in an egotistical way, but because you trusted and loved this person. And they loved you too. So when they did whatever they did to hurt or betray you, it was like how could you. 😩 I’m feeling like you weren’t even mad about it, more disappointed than anything. So after, you started just doing your own thing. Not really concerned with anything or anyone else. Just working on yourself. A reinvention. I’m seeing healthy eating or changing the color of your hair. Wearing sexy clothes (just for yourself) everything you started to do was about self love. And just when you started to move on or found someone new.....HERE THEY COME. like oh wait for me! i gotta be honest with y’all. I don’t feel like this person really cheated on you. I’m getting that maybe you thought they were doing you wrong but they weren’t. or a really bad agruement took place and something was said or done that was very distasteful and you felt betrayed by it. But I’m not getting strong cheating energy. You really thought it was something and it wasn’t and this person tried to explain and it went from there. (Downhill that is) there is so much sadness here. You really though this was going to work out and it didn’t. There has been some time that has passed here. This person didn’t know how to come back. no idea on what to say or do about the situation. But they daydream about it 24/7. They think about being intimate again and how it was like with you (if y’all were). this person wants to play something romantic. I’m seeing a dinner with candles a few drinks. Trying to take it back to the good times. But it took too long for this person. and now this person sees you with someone new And they can’t help but wonder...what if I would have gotten back in time. What if things would have worked out? This person does want to come back without a doubt! But will they? I’m not too sure, because it looks like you have someone else now. *PLOT TWIST*!!!! Pile 3 let me ask you this, do you love this new person like your old flame? I think NOT. You like this new person and everything, but your heart is with the person you broke up with. The new person is diggin you and likes you a lot. But there’s something thats just not hittin the same anymore. And your old person didn’t forget about you either. *i pulled extra cards for this group because I’m really feeling like this just may come back together. I’m getting that vibe heavy. For the outcome. I don’t see y’all coming back together ASAP because theres a decision that needs to be made and you don’t want to choose .your just kinda there. This connection right here is a divine pair. With the lovers and emperor here. But there’s still work that needs to be done by both parties and a conclusion by you. So you will be separated until then. I’m telling y’all...if you choose this person. Do not be surprised if this person gives you a ring. This person may right music or be into the arts. They may give you a gift that comes from their heart. a song. I heard melody. they could play an instrument or that was something you two had In common. The thought you of keeps this person sane while you aren’t with them. The thought of being with you again keeps them together. Like when they a bad day or something. Because you aren’t there physically, them daydreaming keeps them motivated. Pile 3, intuitively I gotta say it. I know y’all gotta make a decision and everything but this is going to work out. Idk when because time is fluid but it’s going to come back together. I’m telling y’all

now. its Going to take patience but in time it will. This connection is strong, y’all love each other too much. This person loves you. And they want to restore this! Like I said, this new person...your not fooling me! Yeah you like them, but that heart of yours didnt go anywhere. I’m going to say for this pile, your going to have to make the first moves because they feel like your done with them. They feel like there’s nothing they can do or say to get you back. WOW, you all have to let me know how this plays out because it will work out! I almost want to cry. can I get an invite to the wedding with a +1 please!?

[moonbearmeliox]

X-Men Series Film Review

Welcome back to “Bren rambles about a movie/tv series.” So I just spent the past three days watching the main X-Men movies and while watching I wrote down my thoughts and what came to mind when watching the movies. Spoiler Warning(duh) for the X-Men movies. Also trigger warning because I do talk about homophobia and conversion camps.

X-Men

As the woman is talking about how mutants can be scared to revel themselve because they could be met with hostility and violence, I find this as a parellel to gay marriage and how LGBTQ+ are scared to come out because they won’t be accepted. Mutants are scared to say they’re mutants of fear of being put to death; LGBTQ+ people are scared to come out in fear of being met with violence or judgement(some places you can be put to death for being gay.

“We should decide if parents want their kids to be in school with mutants.” Sounds the same as “Do you want your child to go to the same school as a gay person? Do you want to be in the bathroom with a girl who has a dick?(in the context of conservatives who don’t want transgender people to use the bathrooms they identify with because “their genitals don’t match)”

Speaking of gay: Eric and Charles

Wolverine got anger issues

Wolverine adopting a young girl with mutant powers, how many times is this going to happen? At least twice.

Rouge really got the shortest end of the stick with the mutant gene.

Give Rouge a male love interest that will inevitably die by her hand, that’s what I’m assuming.

Jean Gray is going to be Wolverine’s love interest, calling it now

Mystique’s costume always bugs me because she’s essentially naked. Like, the directors were like “She must wear no clothes.” “That’s not practical-” “Men will eat it up. The sex appeal, yes. Because women can never have practical costume design.”

Scott looks like he’s played by the main dude in the Sonic Movie(I was right!)

Can Magneto bend the iron in people’s bodies?

“You never use your power against another mutant.” How long is that going to last?

Dad Logan is the best Logan.

The Train Splitting scene shows how powerful Magneto is but didn’t Charles tell Wolverine that Magneto can control metal. Wouldn’t Wolverine have the knowledge, “Hey using my METAL claws against a METAL bender might not be a good idea.”

Kinda figured he would want Rouge, a mutant who can literally kill someone with touch is definitely something the big bad would want.

Magento could just metal bend Charles’ wheelchair.

So Magento’s plan is to turn everyone into mutants, right?

Charles explained it more and it sounds like Terragensis from Agents of Shield with the crystals. Some come out of it with powers, others will crumble to dust.

What powers the cortex that makes it so Charles goes into a coma? Like how does the liquid get into his brain for that to happen?

Yes Jean, it is a perfect idea to put the helmet that put Charles into a coma on your head. Nothing will go wrong.

Mystique really only has like five lines in this whole movie. She really is just supposed to be eye candy.

Of course classic shapeshifter double, who’s who scene. Probably going to be resolved with Jean Gray knowing which one is the real Logan.

The fight scene isn’t that well shot but it is 2000 so

I don’t remember there being a big museum when I visited the Statue of Liberty

I doubt Mystique will stay dead.

Again they thought it would be a good idea to send Wolverine, the man with METAL CLAWS to help fight a METAL BENDER.

Nice of Magneto to put Cyclops and Jean right next to each other face to face.(Director: They’re a couple they must face each other so one can kill the other)

Yep, knew Mystique couldn’t stay dead

Why did they try and have Jean and Logan have a weird semi romance set up when Jean is dating Scott

They gave Charles a plastic wheel chair for when he visited Magneto. Ha, that’s funny.

Plastic isn’t that durable, it would be easy to break Magneto out

X2

Nightcrawler!

The fights scenes have improved, but they’re using a lot of wire rigging

Alan Cummings played NightCrawler. Knew he looked familiar.

Let’s have Wolverine follow a wolf even though wolves are wolverine's natural predators.

Watch the president be a mutant

Dad!Logan

Still painting it that Logan and Jean could possibly end up together. No thanks.

I see they didn’t change Mystique’s costume design. Is she going to say more than five lines in this movie?

Government wants to pass an act to detain and control all mutants, goes and raids a school filled with mutants, and then is SURPRISED when the mutants retaliate. “Oh we don’t want to start a war” THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE. Of course they’re not going to leave them alone because what isn’t normal scares them and must be dealt with no matter what.

Getting even more parallels between mutants and LGBTQ+. Striker wanted his son cured of the mutant gene but was ultimately upset when Charles’s school couldn’t do that. It’s similar to how when people come out to their parents, their parents send them to conversion camps to “Cure” them because they think being gay is an illness. 

Bobby don’t get horny, it will only end badly

I asked the question if Magento could bend the iron in people’s blood in the last movie. The answer is yes. Yes he can.

Bobby’s parents “Have you tried not being a mutant.” Gives more LGBTQ parreles “Have you tried being straight?” “Have you tried being your assigned gender?”

An officer shooting a white guy? Unrealistic.

Welp Bad guys and good guys team up to save Charles.

Jean and Logan kissed. Here’s my shocked face. #TeamScott.

But seriously, I hate how the main dude must have romantic interactions with the main girl. It’s never the main dude has romantic interactions with a minor(minior in the sense of not that important to the plot) girl, Storm is right there with no love interest. Pair Logan up with her, that way we aren’t running an already established romance, But nooooo, Hollywood loves to have love triangles.

Mystique changing into Jean, making out with Logan, and then changing into a bunch of different girls makes me uncomfortable.

But again, “All women who have the potential to be a love interest must kiss the main dude” now we wait for Storm to give Logan a smooch.

Female Wolverine!

Magneto had his own secret agenda? Who would have thought?

Bobby’s going to come in clutch with freezing the water

Why does Jean need to go and stop the water? Bobby has control over ice, he can stop it.

Man I really feel bad for Scott. 

But I’m miffed because it’s the classic female character dies to further male character’s development.

Oh look Jean’s alive, not surprise. Is she going to be the villain of X-men 3?

I couldn’t watch X-Men 3 because it wasn’t available on any sites but reading the wiki synopsis I was right on her being a bad guy(MY BOY SCOTT GOT MURDERED!). Upset Charles died but he was old and the mentor figure so he kinda had it coming.  On to the prequels. 

X-Men-First Class

So Charles met Mystique first. And her name is Raven. Wonder what caused their split. I just hope they weren’t romantically involved

Poor Erik, really giving him a tragic backstory

James Macavoy!

Raven and Charles call each other siblings! Oh this is going to hurt more.

Excuse me while I get distracted by Vegas women.

But also did the CIA woman plan to sneak in as a showgirl. Because who would wear lingerie under work clothes unless she planned for this(or planned to get freaky later). I mean it’s Vegas so maybe she was prepared.

Emma Frost is a telepath and can crystalize her body. Not what I was expecting with the last name Frost but I also find it odd that her two mutations don’t intersect with each other. Telepathy and crystallization have nothing in common, so the only explanation is that she got both genes from her parents. It would have to be rare since males are usually the ones to pass the gene to their kids.

Azazel. I’m guessing is Nightcrawler's dad. He and Mystique will get romantically involved and have Nightcrawler. He’ll get the blue skin from his mom but the mutant gene from his dad.

Ok I’m miffed about the costume design again. It’s London and it’s raining and they decided to have Raven and the CIA woman wear SHORTS! They’ll be freezing their asses off all so you can have some leg candy? What’s so appealing about knees? Nothing. It’s always been women’s costume designs that have to be appealing, not practical.

If Charles can’t be involved with Mystique, then he’ll have to get involved with Moira?(I don’t know if I heard her name correctly, the CIA lady). Because all male characters MUST have a romantic love interest(sarcasm)

That one CIA dude, he’s a real one.

So the dude that killed Erik’s mother, is also a mutant. 

How is Erik trending water and controlling metal? Nevermind, he’s drowning

Charles saves Erik! And thus the ship is born. “Erik, you’re not alone.”

Hank Mcoy. They zoomed in on Mystique when he was looking at her. Reading the camera angles...oh please don’t have another romantic set up.

They did the Spiderman/MJ framing with Hank upside down and Mystique very close to his face. Yep, they’re setting up a romance between them that will ultimately go nowhere because again, Mystique will do the do with Azael to get Nightcrawler.

Hank and Mystique have only known each other for like five minutes and they’re already having a picnic on top of a rocket. I hate how romance moves so fast in movies.

And Mystique was going to kiss him. Just...no

Erik, right after he walks in on Hank and Mystique’s picnic: If I looked like you, I wouldn’t change a thing. 

Are they really trying to set up a love triangle between Hank, Mystique and Erik? I know Magneto and Mystique's relationship in the first three movies is close, but that sentence just makes it sound like Erik is jealous.

“Are you sure we can’t shave your head.” “Don’t touch my hair”. I mean he’s going to lose it eventually.

I love the mutant finding montage. Especially the Wolverine cameo

My mom just informed me that the bad bad is played by Kevin Bacon so that’s what I will refer to him as since I can’t remember his name.

These recruited mutants aren’t going to last long. They’ve got the youthful team up energy, they will be the “First Class” hence the name, but we probably won’t see them again after this movie.

Charles, Erik and Moira being disappointed parents. Starting to get a family vibe that we didnt get from the last three movies.

Charles as Erik storms in: I’m sorry, I can’t leave him. They’re gay your honor.

I just realized that Frost is the second right hand woman to have no real costume. She’s just like Mystique where “she must wear the least amount of clothing possible or have no clothing at all when using her powers” I just wish it would stop.

Let’s take the right hand woman who is a telepath with us. What could go wrong?

What is Angel’s motive to go with Bacon, like I don’t get it. And the adaption dude? It’s just a turn on the dime. Nevermind it was a fakeout and one of them died. Knew they weren’t going to last long.

I feel like Chalres trying to shoot Erik as training is foreshadowing.

Training montage

SO Bacon loses Frost and now has Angle as his right hand woman? I honestly didn’t think that necessary.

Welp there goes Mystique and Hank’s relationship. He only liked her when she was in disguise.

Conflicting differences! Finally get to see Erik and Charle’’s view on humans.

Knew it! As soon as Hank dumps Mystique she goes straight to Erik. Because “She MUST be romantically involved.” Why? Why? Can’t she just...not. She doesn’t need a man.

Erik: I want to go to bed. Maybe in a few years. Ha funny.

I get Mystique going to Erik because he accepts her, unlike Hank but again, she doesn’t need to have a love interest.

Suits! But again, miffed about Mystique’s suit not being fully set up. SHE DOESN'T”T NEED TO HAVE HER CLEAVAGE TEASING IF SHE”S GOING TO BE FIGHTING!

Could Charles just stop controlling Bacon, so he can move and Erik wouldn’t have a chance to kill him.

But good cuts between Bacon and Charles.

The boyfriends are fighting!

Oh that’s how he gets parralized. I forgot about that.

Erik really does care for Charles even tho they have different viewpoints

Mystique going with Erik and having Azeal with him is setting up the perfect opportunity for Nightcrawler.

“Gentleman, this is why the CIA is no place for a woman” *Big gigantic crash* That’s what you get for being sexist.

Days of Future Past

So these machines can absorb mutant powers and transfer them to other machines. A new threat.

Oh Charles isn’t dead from being disintegrated by Dark Phoenix

Logan!

Charles confirmed Mystique was like a sister to him.

So Mystique’s dna was the cause of the Sentitnals. I understand that stopping Mystique from shooting the doctor will change that, but also if that doesn’t work they would have to kill Mystique.(which won’t happen because she’s in the next movie.

Charles tells Wolverine that he didn’t have his powers in 1973, but First Class takes place in 1962 where he definitely had his powers. So what happened to Charles that made him lose his powers?

For once the government isn’t targeting mutants

Well one dude from First Class is in this movie, but sadly I can’t remember his name. X-beam guy.

Why is Charles drunk and not parallelized?

Hank still cares for Raven. Guess the love triangle is still a thing

Oh he’s doing the equivalent of mutant heroine to get rid of his powers and walk.

Erik in gay baby jail.

Erik killed JFK?! Why?!

I feel like if Mystique is searching around the office of someone, she should still be disguised as someone so she doesn’t get caught. I get her dropping the disguise to show the audience it’s her and it builds suspense but she would draw less suspicion.

PETER! MY boy!

I love that he talks fast and that’s kinda like a teenager. I don’t know how old he actually is.

“My mom knew a guy who could do that.” They’re not even trying to be subtle here.

Slow mo Peter speed scene! Yes!

Is that all we get of Peter in this movie? I hope not.

JFK WAS A MUTANT?

So Magneto can lift a plane, a submarine, and now a baseball stadium. Why does he need a baseball stadium?

They showed a clip of Peter watching the broadcast and he’s holding a little girl. I’d like to think that’s Wanda.

Everyone’s alive. Yay!

I’ll excuse Jean being alive because time changes and all that. SCOTT! SCOTT”S ALIVE! YES!

Apocalypse

Hey Oscar Issac

Young Scott!

Young Nightcrawler!

Erik went from wanting to kill humans to being a farmer and having a wife and daughter. Still going to end up on the bad side.

Young Jean Gray! Scott and her start out rocky but we know they’re going to end up together.

Knew the wife and kid wasn’t going to last long. Always got to do something that makes Magneto the bad guy

Two birds...one arrow

For this one, I can understand Magneto’s anger

Young Storm was originally on the bad guy’s side.

Scott sees things through literal rose tinted glasses.

I love Kurt.

Scott use to be a rule breaker

At least Storm has a practical costume. 

Also if Erik really wanted to lay low, why did he choose to work at a metal factory.

Pyslocke’s costume isn’t practical. She’s got a boob and butt window. Girl there are so many places you could get stabbed.

PETER!

Charles and Erik always greet each other with old friend

So birdman gets metal armor and the girls get nothing.

Peter slow-mo! This will always be my favorite speedster scene

So the only people that can save the X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Gray, and NightCrawler. Three teenagers with no plan. They got this.

Go Charles! Fighting no matter what.

Logan!

Thankfully most of these characters can’t die.

Pyslocke  and Angel can die but the others all have plot armour

Peter didn’t tell Erik he’s his son. Why?

No not the hair! Apocalypse took Charle’s hair.

Go Peter!

No Peter!

So Charles still has the hair when he’s in Apocalypse's head. Part of me knows it won’t grow back but I hope it does.

Mind fight!

So Erik is on the good guys side until the next movie.

Mystique finally has a good costume design

Dark Phoenix

The dude they got to play Bush doesn't look like Bush

SPACE!

This mission is going to go wrong and the X-men are going to get planned. Thus leading the world going against mutants again.

They gave Scott is own eye cannon, nice

Yea absorbing a solar flare will definitely cause your powers to go way hire

Well the mission didn’t go wrong, the way i thought it would. That’s good.

Charles motives have changed

So, men, supposed gods, robots, and now we’re dealing with aliens

Charles kinda being shown as a bad guy is weird. So used to seeing him have good motives.

The aliens want Jean to use her power to take over earth. Not surprising.

Dad now is not the time to poke the super powered bear

Police always show up at the wrong time

I know Mystique can’t die. This is the prequels

But again, Stop killing female characters to further male character’s development.

Oh there’s Erik. 50 minutes in and i thought we weren’t going to see him

Jean’s got a heat signature with that solar flare so it would be easy to track her.

At least the military decided to fallback instead of shooting

And there goes humans liking mutants. This is why we can’t have nice things.

So Mystique’s death is what sets Erik on being the villain again? It’s the same as a woman losing her husband and becoming a villain for revenge. Honestly I’m tired of love revenge plots.

Guys stop fighting! You’re  friends!

Oh shit! Jean is making Charles walk. And not in the good way.

OH SHIT KURT IS KILLING PEOPLE NOW!

Dark Phoenix. A movie about family.

Legend of the Phoenix. She’ll rise from the ashes.

Bummed Peter wasn’t in this movie more

All in all, Apcolypse is my favorite X-Men movie.

[secnghwa]

hi vivi ! how are you today ? how has your done gone :o i hope it went well ><

kuroo !!!! i used to have such bad brainrot for him 💀 he is also everything I want in a man. i have never heard of that anime :o i’ll have to check it out !! time zones 👁👁 and nooooo don’t be sorry about being late >:c take your own time and don’t feel pressured about answering my asks. ill be here waiting ^^ (GAD THAT SOUNDS KINDA CREEPY BUT I DONT MEAN IT LIKE THAT) BDKNFKF I feel honored ??? idk you just seem like a very fun person to talk to <3 i indeed have a injury ;-; my spine + hips decided to be mean and go out of alignment which means I get a lot of pain in my lower back/hip area when I swim JFKNFKF AND YES I GOT MY TACOS AND MY MOM GOT ME SUBWAY TOO SO DOUBLE WIN !!!

(also ps i have a very very very bad habit of accidentally forgetting to sign off on asks and it’s already showing 🤡)

- 🍁 anon

i felt that self destruction post- i was trying to export gifs from ps today and it just [insert computer aggressively fanning] genuinely had a thought my laptop would break on me LMAO

also alSO ALSO YOU STAN SEVENTEEN ???!?!?!? im like. a huge carat HDKFBKFNF <3 and i see you bias minghao <3 me too <3 (although I swear I ult woozi,,,, no im not lying to myself)

- 🍁 anon (it’s me. AGAIN)

hihi vivi how was your day today ? I hope it went well !! i just started making ateez gifs again after getting photoshop and it’s been making my laptop go brrrrrr- i hope the gifsets that you were talking about reaches 1k vvv soon >:) also also also the new hairstyles :o i also very much love yunhos new hairstyle !! sans hair reminds me a chick and that’s all I can think when I look at the new pics 💀 mingi’s blonde hairstyle makes him look so soft and I’m just HDJFNDKKFKF 🥺🤧☹️

- 🍁

fsjdkf I HATE TUMBLR I CANNOT BELIEVE IT DELETED EVERYTHING I HAD SIX PARAGRAPHS OF WORD VOMIT /???????? anyways i guess it's time to try again to remembver waht i said FJIWEOFJSDKLF fIRST OFF !!! are you going to / /already receiving therapy/physio for your injury bec I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE HURT FOR LONG !!!!!!!! THAT IS NOT PLEASANT AT ALL HHHHhhhHHHH please please please take care of fyourself !!!!!

second i'm sorry sorry sorry for always taking literal days to respond IT'S JUST THESE DAYS I'VE BEEN TAKING A SUMMER COURSE AND IT'S REALLY TAKING A TOLL ON MEM HAHAHAHH i've seriously just been coming on, queueing posts, and leaving oopS but alas it is what it is LMAO

third yes i am such a big closet svt stan like i have so many svt gifblr moots but I'VE NEVER FELT THE URGE TO GIF FOR THEM SO IT STAYS IN THE CLOSEt ???? but i am such a loser for china line bec i'm part chinese and it just gets me every time they speak in chinese BEC THEY'RE SO FUNNY it can't even be translated into english with the same amount of funny . .,,,, does that make sense???? also psssstttttt woozi ult i seEEE YOUUUU ( i don't rmb if i've aksed you before but who's ur atz bias heheehee)

FOR TODAY !!!!! today has bveen very. very fun after work i got together with a few of my coworkers (who also happen to be my school friends and also my family friends who i've known for like 7 years) ALSO YOU MAKE ATEEZ GIFS ?????? please if you ever need help with giffing n whatever do not hesitate to reach out i will try my bestest with my limited knowledge to assist you or we cld work thru the issue together omg it can be a learning xperience for me too !!!!! (fun fact when i was making my recent san inception gifset my laptop almost crashed on me as in it. froze for like a solid minute and just came back I GOT SO SCARED I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LOSE ALL OF MY COLOURING(

ALSO I AM LOWKEY PRAYING FOR THE FEW GIFS (like two gifsets i think) to FINALLY REACH 1K notes bec then it can be added to my 1k atz tag (which doesn't seem like a lot but i'm actually very proud of evbery single gifset in it MWAHHH) the gifs that r so . close (like 950 notes) are this one and this one HELLPPPPPPP

LASTLY THE ATEEZ HARISTYLES I CAN GO ON HOURS ABOUT IT !!!!!!!! it is truly an honour to be able to see yunho's streaky red hair ( fun fact 2 every single ateez era where a member has had pink/red hair = a hit and this is simply a fact . ) mingis hairstyle makes him look so smoochable in the kindest way i want to give him a hug and tell him he's doing amazing <3333333

PS I JUST WNATED TO THANK YOU FOR READING TYHRU ALL OF THIS WORD VOMIT WITHOUT GETTING BORED i am so sorry there are so many topic jumps but omg i get v excited talking to you <333 n i hope u feel the sam e!!!

[neriad13]

Favorite Media of 2020!

There was a large swathe of this year during which I was unable to concentrate on reading (as there probably was for a lot of other typically-frequent readers), so, as a result, I ended up listening to way more podcasts and watching way more TV shows. Not a bad thing, but boy did I read way less books than usual. 

However, for the first time in a while, the amount of fiction I read was about equal with the amount of nonfiction I read. Last year’s reading resolution was to read more fiction, so...success??

I did read a lot of phenomenal fiction when I had the energy to do so this year.

Books - Fiction

The Martian - Andy Weir

This book is the hardest of the hard sci fi I think I’ve ever read. Every single aspect of it is minutely researched and calculated. The author literally wrote equations to write this book. The science is insanely impressive and yet...it never loses its sense of humor or humanity in the mix. In fact, they’re the thing that drives the entire story.

Warlock Holmes - G. S. Denning

Way early in the year I was strolling down the fantasy aisle at the library, when this cover caught my eye. I took one look at it, went “oh, this looks silly” and...proceeded to devour the entire series in a matter of weeks. 

It is very silly. Especially when it’s pointing out something that was silly in the original. There’s something so satisfying about Watson immediately answering Holmes with the correct number of steps in their flat when he’s trying to make his point about how most people don’t pay attention to things like that.

World War Z - Max Brooks

Every single scenario in here could easily support an entire book. A park ranger whose job it is to contain the yearly zombie spring thaw? HECK YES. I’d read tens of thousands of words about that. A Chinese admiral who defaults, steals the government’s premier submarine, loads it up with the families of his underlings and takes to the sea for years to live in the maritime economy that has sprung up in a world where everyone is trying to escape the shore? That could be an entire movie on its own. 

Every chapter was more creative than the last and as a huge worldbuilding fan, this book was so, so fun.

An Unkindness of Ghosts - Rivers Solomon

In which a queer, neurodivergent protagonist solves a mystery on a spaceship which is a microcosm of antebellum era politics! This had a beautiful, mysterious, wonder-inducing writing style and it was a joy to peer into the wildly differing minds of every single character.

Books - Nonfiction

Underland - Robert MacFarlane

In every chapter, the author visits a different hole. Basically.

It’s an exploration of caves, catacombs, mines, nuclear waste facilities and the hidden underbelly of every forest. It was fascinating. And fundamentally changed how I look at time.

Rejected Princesses - Jason Porath

After years of having enjoyed the web entries, I finally got my hands on the first book and was not disappointed. 

There are the more entertaining entries, of course and the art is as charming as always, but what struck me the most were the more difficult stories. The deeper you go into this book, the more horrific it gets. The author does not hold back on the indignities suffered by the historical figures he writes about. It’s terrible...but also very, very illuminating.

The Gift of Fear - Gavin De Becker

This book - while maintaining all the essential information in it - could be pared down to one sentence in a sea of blank pages and that sentence would be: trust your instincts. End of story.

But in a world where instincts are either customarily suppressed or going haywire, it’s not quite that easy, which is why I’m glad there is more to the book.

I picked it up thinking “ha ha, betcha can’t help a person with anxiety who fears all the time already” and...what it actually ended up doing was giving me the tools to differentiate between real fear and unfounded fear. And did help with the anxiety quite a bit.

Fanfiction

Watch Over Me - cakeisatruth

A Bioshock fic from the point of view of a little sister who is learning how to trust and be an ordinary child again. Dark and sweet. An excellent combo.

All That is Visible - Ultima_Thule

An exploration of a minor character in a well researched historical context? That’s my jam! How did they know?? A Tron fic about what it’s like to be a female programmer in the 70s.

Graphic Novels

The Adventure Zone - McElroys + Carey Pietsch

Yesssssssss! It was a running-to-the-library type event whenever my library got a new volume in. The jokes are so good, the art is so lively and the ways in which they added the details that the podcast couldn’t necessarily get across is *mwah*

Trail of Blood - Shuuzou Oshimi

Hoooooooly shit, the art style of this one!! It’s beautifully detailed and expressive, sure, but the real draw for me was how it changes with the emotional state of the main character. There’s this sequence in which he’s consumed with anxiety at school and all of his classmates become blurry and unfocused, until they can’t be recognized as humans at all, that particularly sticks with me.

It’s a horror story about a kid who witnesses his loving mother push his cousin off a cliff for seemingly no reason and is then obligated by her to keep the secret, which is eating him from the inside out. It’s so good, guys, please read it.

Level Up - Gene Lien Yang/Thien Pham

A story about a kid who is haunted by his late father’s desire for him to become a gastroenterologist. It’s funny and touching and the ending gave me what I can only describe as a feeling of exhilaration. Y’know that feeling when something unexpected but not out of left field, perfectly in tune with the narrative arc and gut bustingly funny happens, all in the same panel? That one.

Film

Searching

This is a fairly standard thriller about a dad trying to find out what happened to his missing daughter. It’s also found footage...but not in the usual way, which was what made it so compelling to me. It’s told through the dad’s phone calls, google searches, social media interactions, news footage, security cameras and webcams. It was such a cool way to tell a story.

Train to Busan

There’s a lot that’s already been said about this movie and I don’t think there’s much more I can meaningfully add to that. Suffice to say that ya gotta take care of each other if you’re going to survive a zombie apocalypse!!

TV Series

My Brother’s Husband

As close to a perfect adaptation as a person can get (barring the entire conversation in English which was...oof). I was so happy when they took it a step further and showed Kana and Yaichi actually getting to meet Mike’s family.

Zumbo’s Just Desserts

I watched a lot of baking shows this year. Like...a lot. They were my much-needed comfort viewing for the year and this one was my favorite, even over The Great British Baking Show (which I LOVE). Why? Because the pastry chef for whom it’s named makes such bizarre and wonderful desserts and fosters an environment in which the competitors do the same. I’ve never seen anything like a lot of the desserts that make an appearance on this show. Every single episode was an awesome surprise and so help me, this show had better get a third season.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power

There’s also a lot that’s been said about this one, so I won’t say much more. Suffice to say: DAMN. That’s how you do an 80s toy tie-in cartoon remake.

Infinity Train

This show’s premise is probably the most unique I’ve seen in recent years. Its balance of comedy, horror and existential dread is also *mwah* I also love how much it trusts the viewer to figure things out on their own.

Primal

A late entry sliding in before the year ends! I finally got to watch the second half of the first season last weekend and it was EXCELLENT. The pacing, the brutal fight scenes, the adorable dinosaur antics, the animation, the quiet moments - *mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah-mwah*

The most emotional moment for me was the part in which the protagonists watch, with sorrow, as the rabid dinosaur who’s been trying to kill them all night dies an excruciating death.

Also it sets up a fascinating new plotline right before ending in a cliffhanger!! Another one for the ‘had better get a next season’ list.

Games

Night in the Woods

This is one that’s been on my to play list for a few years and I was so glad I finally got my hands on it. It’s like...The Millennial Experience (TM), the game. I felt so seen, playing it. The character writing was fantastic.

Prey

I don’t know why I put off finishing this for so long. I guess I wasn’t in the right alien killing headspace for a while?? Anyway, the setting is gorgeous, the alien biology is weird and cool, the ethics are delightfully murky and the interconnectedness of the station was really cool, especially in the OH SHIT moments at the end. 

Podcasts

The Adventure Zone

I tried to narrow this down to one favorite arc, but found that I couldn’t do it. I love Balance for its comedy and creative energy. I love Amnesty for its drama and acting. I am loving Graduation for the depth of its world and the way in which the real story behind everything that’s happened is slowly unfurling. It’s a good podcast all around.  

The Magnus Archives

Who obsessively listened to every single season while playing Minecraft in about a month? Surely not me, nooooo. Of course not.

There’s also been a lot said on this one, so I’ll keep it brief. I’ve seen things in here that I haven’t really seen elsewhere in horror. My particular favorites were the creepy psychiatric hospital in which the horror comes not from the patients, but from the denial of the doctor to believe them about their mental illnesses and every single thing related to the Anthropocene. The one with the Amazonian village made out of trash - CHILLS.

[star-mum]

LIVE REACTION TO NIGHTMARE TIME EP 1

Idk if anyone would even be interested in reading this but as I was watching the show last night I kept writing down my reactions on my notes so here we are

*this is all in caps idk why just roll with it*

THE OPENING SONG IS SUCH A BOP OMG NICK LANG HIMSELF ?????? MONSTER FUCKER RIGHTS ???? HIDGENS ENTRANCE HOW ICONIC "LUCY IS HAVING NONE OF IT" I LOVE THAT OMG JOEY PLAYING KONK (?) IS SUCH A POWER MOVE I LOVE THAT THE BEGGINING IS JUST TARZAN FANFIC SKSKSKSKS MARIAH IS TEXTING JOHN (?) AND HES LAUGHING SM WE LOVE A COMEDY QUEEN I LOVE THEM USING THE ZOOM BACKGROUNDS SKSKSKS KONK IS AWFULLY CLOSE TO COCK AND I THINK ITS ON PURPOSE ?? SPECIALLY WITH THE LAG I HAD TO DO A DOUBLE TAKE SOMETIMES SKSKSKS SOMEONE JUST SAID "TED'S ORIGIN STORY" ON CHAT AND I LOST IT !!!!! COULD YOU IMAGINE ???? HANDSOME LADY ? I MEAN SURE TIGHT JOHN IS LOSING IT FUCK MAN, SAME CURT OMG THAT ACCENT OOOOOOOOHHHH BOY I KNEW IT WAS HER FIANCEE SHIIIIT WE CANNOT TRUST HIM I KNOW THIS !!! "ENTAGLED" SKSKS WHAT SIR HES GAY CHILL OUT WHATS THE YEAR, IT FEELS SO OLD TIMEY "I'D SAY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR THIS APEMAN" OOOOOOOHHHH DONT U SAY JONATHAN IS A PUSSY BITCH I CAN TELL LUCY JUST DROP IT OH SHE ACTUALLY DID ????? FUCK IT UP BABE

(I JUST ACIDENTALY DELETE HALF OF WHAT I WROTE SHIT, ILL HAVE TO REWRITE IT FROM MEMORY) WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TRICKING US??? THEY CALLED IT, WHAAAAAAAAT WDYM "PLAY THE PROFESSOR" IS HE NOT A PROFESSOR WHAT ALTERNATE REALITY IS THIS I NEED TO KNOW

ARE THEY GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM WHAT??? SINGING LONDON BRIDGE WHILE CHASING SOMEONE IS MY FAV SCARY TROP HAHAHHA YEEEEESSS "TOOK OFF WDYM" GIRL HE IS HOLDING A GUN WHAT DO YOU THINK "WDYM" WHY DID HE KEEP THE KONK ACT AFTER LUCY LEFT SKSKSKSKS TED WTF SKSKSKS "I DO SOME OF MY BEST THINKING WHEN IM ERECT" HAHAHAHA TED LIKES TO BE A HIMBO THATS GREAT IS HE GOING TO KILL TED ?? AAAAAAAHHHHHH TED HE HAS A GUN PLZ DONT TEST HIM HE HAS ALREADY KILLED A MAN OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH FUUUUUUUUCK RECAST???? WHO IS TAKING TED'S ROLE ????? OH SO ITS NOT OLD TIMEY AFTER ALL RED SOMETHING???? OH TED'S GONNA PROPOSE IS SHE GONNA SAY NO? SHES GONNA SAY NO RIGHT ? FUUUUUUUUCK HAHAHHAHA WHY IS HE NAKED ??? JAHAHHAHA WHAT WHAT IS HAPPENING TED WHAT ? "PROFESSOR SHOULD GO FUCK HIMSELF" HAHAHAHA PORNHUB PREMIUM ACCOUNT HAHAHAH "OOOoooOOoOoOoOoOohhHhhHh BUT IT IS" FUCK NO DONT KILL HER OOOOOOOOOHHHH TED'S DEAD SHIT OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH ROBERT'S ACTING IS *CHEF'S KISS* DAMN OH SHIT TED *NOW* TED IS DEAD FUCK HIDGENS IS HERE NOOOOOOOOOOO IS HE GONNA KILL HER ??? OH SHIT OH FUCK LUCY'S CAUGHT IN  A BEAR TRAP WHY ARE PPL SAYING WORKING BOYS IN THE CHAT ??? OH THATS WHY !!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHH MINE IS A LITTLE BEHIND IS SHE BROKE ??????? OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW IT HIDGENS GOT PLAYED THATS ON YOU BUDDY OH FUCK HIM UP LUCY ! BECKY BARNES ????? HATCHFIELD LORE ???? WAS SHE RUNNING AWAY FROM HIS HUSBAND IS THAT WHY SHE CLIMBED A TREE APE MAN SHOW UP PLZ WHO IS IT THO ?????? JEFF HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK JESUS CHRIST APE MAN YEEEEAAAHHH WOOLY FOOT ?????? IS IT CHUMBY???? OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH HAHAHA YEEEEAAHHH HOW DID HIDGENS KNOW ????? OH IS IT OVER ?????? NOOOOOOOOOOOO I WANTED MORE ;-----; THIS WAS SO GOOD THO OOOHHH FUCK ANOTHER MUSIC NUMBER JAMIE YOU LOOK AMAZING !!!!!!!!!! I CANT WAIT FOR THESE SONGS TO BE AVAILABLR FOR US (IN LIKE 3 YEARS CAUSE IM BROKE SKSKSKSK) HE DANCES THE CAN CAN ?????? OKAY I SKIPPED A BIT TO BE ON TIME WITH EVERYBODY "ARE YOU FUCKKING HIGH????" YEEEEEEEEEAH PART 2 BABEY !!!!! NICK'S HAIR LOOKS AMAZING OMG OH ???????? BILL AND ALICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD I MISSED THEM !!!!!!!!! OH THE TEEN ANGST I LOVE BILL SM HE'S SUCH A GOOD DAD DEB ????WHY WOULD U HURT BABY ALICE LIKE THIS ???? "I MIGHT NEVER SEE DEB AGAIN" GOD ALICE CHILL OUT LET HER BE A PLAY WRITER BILL CMON "MY BUDDY PAUL" AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BLINKY ??? I DONT TRUST THAT AT ALL FUCK NO JOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNNN I DONT TRUST HES CHARACTER THO OOOOHHH LOVE DISCOUNTS I DIDNT LIKE THE WORKER CALLING HER PRINCESS THO, SHES BILL'S DAUGHTER NOT YOURS OOOOOOHHHHHH NO OH NONONONOONO BILL IS GOING TO DIE I JUST KNOW IT BLINKY IS EVIL I CAN FEEL IT ALICE NO NO LITTERING WHORE JAMES !!!!!!!!!! ALICE IS ALSO GOING TO DIE MAYBE RIGHT NOW WHO KNOWS BLNKY WTF SHE IS A MINOR WTF AAAAAH I DONT LIKE IT HERE JAMES ILY BUT THIS CHARACTER IS CREEPY AS SHIT I DONT LIKE IT HAHAHAH TIGHT LOVE THEME PARK STUPID SHIRTS "I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE FUNNY" HAHAHAHAH DROWSY TOWN ? THE CHAT PULLED MY ATTENTION TO THAT BUT I DONT GET WHY ? IS THIS BAD "I'D FOLLOW YOU ANYWHERE" THIS IS SUCH A DAD THING TO SAY OH ALICE CMON DONT SAY THAT BILL CUT IT OUT WITH DECIDING YOUR KIDS FUTURE THATS NOT FUN OH GOD I DONT TRUST THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO NO "AHOY BOYS AND GIRLS" NO NONONONONO UNCLE WILEY FUCK OFF THE SNIGGLES NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUCK NOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH "WE'RE THE SNIGGLES DONT BE SCARED" YOU KNOW WHAT SNIGGLES I AM SCARED BUT HELL YEAH SONG TIME OOOOOOOHHH FUCK IT UP JAMES OH ARE THEY GONNA LIKE GIVE THE AUDIENCE A SLEEP INDUCING DRUG OR SOMETHING ??????? "DONT BLINK" AHAHAHA I DONT TRUST THAT AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH "GREAT WE'RE DEAD" HAHAHAH THE SONG WAS A BOP THO "WHAT ARE THE SNIGGLES?" GREAT QUESTION ALICE "NOW U KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN I HAD TO SEAT THROUGH DEH" HAHHAHAHA "SEE U IN A SNIG" HAHAHA SNIGGLETTE ???U OKAY BBY??? OOOOOOOOHHH MORE SONGS HELL YEAH I LOVE ANGELA'S VOICE SM THE SNIGGLE PUNS ARE KINDA CONFUSING ME NGL WHY WAS THAT SO SAD OMG OOOOOOOH SHIT OH FUCK THEYRE GONNA KILL HER I JUST KNOW IT OMG "PRAISE THE WATCHER" OH MY GOD PLZ DONT KILL HER "UNTIL HE'S SEEN EVERYTHING" W H A T LAUREN'S VOICE SKSKSK SO CUTE PAPA SNIGGLE I DO NOT TRUST YOU THOSE ARE ALIVE ARENT THEY ????? OH FUCK SNIGGLETTE IS SHE OKAY ????????? "ANGELA R U ALRIGYT" WHAT "SHUT UP JEFF" OH MY GOD I DONT LIKE WHEN THEYRE SELF AWARE SKSKSKSK " U CAN SHUT THE HELL UP LAUREN" HAHAHAHA BILL OMG HE'S SUCH A DAD HAHAHAHAH ALICE IS SO NICE DO THEY NOT KNOW "ARON AROOON" HAHHAHA OH CHURROS I LOVE THOSE THE GIRL SHE DOESNT LIKE ?????? OH NON BINARY RIGHTS LOVE IT "IS THIS A FRIEND OF ZIGS" OH LOVE RESPECTFUL DAD DEB NOT COOL OH ALICE SHIT ALICE BBY IF SHES CHEATING ON YOU THATS NOT ON UR DAD STOP SHITTING ON HIM LIKE THIS "ITS UR MOTHERS FAULT" OH MY GOD HAHAHHAHA GREG AND ALISON ? AND BETH ?? DOES BETH LIKE HER ????OH NOOOOOO GREG NO U SHITTY SON OF A BITCH GOD FUCKING PUNCH HIM OH  NO HAHAHA FUCK NO THEYRE ALL POSESSED ARENT THEY THATS THE TEEN FROM THE MOVIE THEATER HAHAHHA "it lagged ;-; now we wait" A MAN IN A HURRY HAHAHAHHA OH SHIT BILL IS MAD IS HE POSESSED TOO ??????? OH SHIT WHATS HAPPENING BLINKY ????????? OH NO OH NO SHES GONNA HAVE A PANIC ATTACK THEYRE GONNA BE FINE RIGTH ??????? RIGHT ???? BREATHING EXERCISES BABY CMON OH NO PLZ DONT DO ANYTHING STUPID BILL NOOOOOOOOOOO BILL PLZ DONT DIE AGAIN I LOVE YOU SM PUT UR SEATBELT BACK ON PLZ NOOOOOOOOO OH THEYRE BOTH GOING TO FALL ARENT THEY OH NO OH MY GOD OH SHIT PHONE IS BROKEN OOPS AWN IM GONNA CRY PLZ LET THEM SURVIVE I BEG YOU NICK LANG OOOOOOOOH TWILIGHT BUT GAY I AM *HERE* FOR IT OOOOOH THANK GOD THEYRE SAFE THANK YOU NICK LANG BILL YOURE SUCH A GOOD DAD OH GOD SHIT ALICE CHILL OUT ITS JUST A PHONE BABE "SHE KNOWS IM WATCHING HER" I DONT TRUST THAT IS *SHE* POSESSED OR IS THIS JUST TEEN ANGST ALICE UR DAD IS TRYING HIS BEST PLZ CUT HIM SOME SLACK OH MARIAH TURNED HER CAMERA OFF OH DEAR GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HAHAH I LOVE LIVE BLOOPS OH MY GOD BLINKY IS TERRIFYING FUCK NO DO NOT GET THAT WIGGLY JUNIOR BILL DONT HOW ??????? OH MARIAH IS BACK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN ??????? WHY CANT BILL GET THE MALLET THING DONT TAKE IT YES SMART LAUREN ? SKSKKSS WHAT MADAM IRIS I DO NOT TRUST YOU WHAT ?????? IS THAT ALICE'S PHONE ???? BILL DONT GET SCAMMED OH ITS AN ALL SEEING IPHONE ALICE CHILL PLZ IS HE GONNA DIE ????? PLZ NICK DONT DO THAT ALICE DONT DONT KILL UR DAD 49.95 AGAIN BILL PLZ TRY ANOTHER GAME JAMES DAMN THATS RUTHLESS BILL WHAT AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THAT REAL ???????? IT CANT BE ??????? OH ITS NOT REAL ARE THEY MAKING THEM HATE THEIR FAMILIES AND KILL EACH OTHER ?? A TENDER KISS ON THE CHEEK FROM A DEMON HOW NICE GUYS PLZ JUST GO TO THERAPY I BEG U WHAT ARE U GONNA DO BILL? KICK HER HEAD ??????? (SORRY I HAD TO) BLINKY'S FUNHOUSE THAT SOUNDS WARM AND COMFORTING THIS IS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF NOT UR SEED FIGHTING IN THE MIRROR PART OF A FUN HOUSE IS ALWAYS A GOOD HORROR MOVIE TROPE OH FUCK ARE THEY GONNA WAKE UP OH FUCK PLZ WAKE UP ESCAPE THIS ALIVE YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH OH SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM ISNT SHE ????? SHES GONNA SHOOT HIM I JUST KNOW IT HES AWAKE SHES NOT IS BLINKY GONNA KILL THEM ?? OOOOOOOOHHHHHH FUCK I KNEW IT OH HELL YEAH ALICE FUCK IT UP ARE THEY GONNA DROW ?? OH NO OKAY DID THEY SURVIVE ???? IS SHARED TRAUMA GONNA SAVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP SKSKSKKS THEY SURVIVED !!!!!!!!! THANK YOU NICK LANG (AGAIN) WAIT HOW DID SHE GET HER PHONE BACK ? OH MADAM IRIS DID GIVE HER PHONE BACK AWWNNNNNNNN ALICE THIS ONE HAD A HAPPY ENDING YAY WELL IG THE OTHER DID TOO BUT NOT FOR THE CHARACTERS WE KNEW

THIS WAS SO GOOD I LOVER STAKID !!!!!!!!!!! I JUST WISHED I WASNT BROKE SO I COULD PAY FOR THE NEXT ONES KSKSKSKSK WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU GUYS TO DO YOUR REACTIONS FOR THE NEXT ONES !!!

I HEARD GREG AND IT WAS CRAIG SKSKKSSK OOPS

*from this part on is reactions from after the show when starkid was answering questions from the chat*

YEEAAH VOTE FOR BIDEN HELL YEAH STARKID

"THE WITCH IN THE WEB" WEBBY ???????? DO WE GET TO SEE HANNAH AGAIN ?????

A THEORY ON TUMBLR FROM REDDIT ON A INSTAGRAM ACC ON YT OH MY GOD SKSKSKSKKS

THE STORIES ARE CANON !!!!!!!!! THEORIES LETS GO GANG

STARKID FANS WHO CAN DONATE TO STARKID PLZ DO I WISH I COULD DONATE TO THESE TALENTED PPL G O D

I WAS CORRECT IT WAS KONK WITH A K

NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE YES!!!!!! WORKING BOYS !!!!

"NICK LANG IS A BOSS"

MARIAH: SAYS FUCK AS ALICE ALSO MARIAH: GEEKED THE *FREAKED* OUT

TIP JAR HAS BEEN OUT FOR 11 YEARS HELL YEAH

HOW TF DO YOU SPELL ZIGGS BTW

OOOHHH THEYRE FAKE THAT MAKES SENSE OK NOT FAKE COMFIRMED BUT PROBABLY FAKE LETS HOPE DEB DIDNT ACTUALLY CHEAT

"WELL I WAS BORN IN 1989" HAHAHAHA

BECKY CLIMBED WHILE RUNNING FROM HER HUSBAND I FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT THATS ABOUT

OH GOODIE I GET TO WATCH THEM LATER IDK WHEN BUT AT LEAST IK SOMEDAY

BLINKY VS WIGGLY

OH CMON NICK I WANTED TO KNOW ;-;

THIS WAS SO NICE I MISSED THEM ;-;

[fghartwork]

A note to Zutara authors and authoresses:

I respect what you do, and I completely aspire to be an author! I know it is no easy task however, and I wanted to share a few notes from the perspective of a Zutara fanfic reader, a Zutara Shipper, and a diehard Avatar fanatic.

I will speak for myself, and dare to speak for the other Zutarians, when I say that we ship Zutara because of their dynamic 'as is' on screen. I recently put up a challenge, and the Zutarians answered the prompt with really well thought, in depth answers, but none that stretched outside of what is canon.

So here is what I want to say.

When writing a fanfic, as a reader, you should know that I am looking for fanfics that accurately reflect Zuko and Katara's characters as we see them on screen, in the show.

Personally, here are some major Zutara fanfic turn offs for me:

1. Predatorial, possessive, Sex God Zuko

The Zuko I remember was awkward, learning to make friends, serious, reflective, introspective, and respectful of the women in his life.

As we see in the show, Zuko and Mai's relationship in the beginning is strained, but he never insults her (other than 'your just a big blah' lol!) hurts her, or underestimates her. With Jin, he is a little rude, but it stems from his social awkwardness more than his ill intentions.

Before Zuko gets to know Katara, he sees both Sokka and Katara as "Water Tribe Peasants" (This actually makes me laugh, bc Azula does the same. They are both entitled, rich, brats, but we know that Zuko's arc evolves him for the better) We know that by the end however, he really gets to know both Sokka and Katara, and comes to respect them very much.

2. Mean, aggressive, Zuko.

-No No Nooooo! Zuko was a brat who threw temper tantrums before he matured, and became simply sleep-deprived, dramatic, and slightly overreactive. He is not an abusive reflection of his father! Aggressive, surly, rude Zuko feels (for me) so out of sync with his character.

3. Pushover Katara.

This one makes me laugh, because I do not know what show y'all watched, but in the Avatar I watched, Katara is anything but a pushover. I some fanfics, Zuko bullies Katara....in a sexy way I guess? Some fics really blur the line between bantering and bullying, and Katara's character just kind of shrinks under Zuko's grumpiness...this is a turn off for me, and very out of sync with her character.

4. Unexperienced Katara.

Many fanfics that I have read, make Zuko the sex god and Katara completely unexperienced...as we see in the show, they both have dabbled in flirting and some relationships, but nothing so exaggerated. Actually, Katara is much smoother than Zuko, when it comes to dating and relationships.

5. One more majorrrr turn off are Toph's nicknames. Oh my goodness, some authors go so nickname happy with Toph's character that I cannot even finish a fic because I am overwhelmed with how many "Sparkys" and "Sugar Queens" litter the page. Please take it easy, good people of the fanfic realm.

A lot of fanfics seem to make the mistake of altering Zuko and Katara's characters for the sake of romance or sexy scenes, but really, we ship them because their dynamic and their chemistry as it is in the show, is already perfect. It's just that neither of them made a move.

Here are some fics I think did a really good job of reflecting Katara and Zuko's characters, creating great romantic tension, and staying pretty accurate to the Avatar World.

How Your Heart Beats

(This one went a little overboard with Zuko's sensitivity, fantasies, and awkward situations, but all around it felt natural, and ended up being both moving and hilarious).

The Prince's Choice and a Warrior's Gambit

(This one is in an AU, it is filled with lots of fluff and plot filler, a little much for me, so if I am honest, I skip to all of the parts where Zuko and Katara interact directly-And they are good 👌🏽)

Prince of Panty Dropping

(The title is 'read bait'. It is not vulgar, I promise) This one is comedy, so their characters are exaggerated, but it feels natural to me, and is very funny.

Moonlight and Sunshadow

I haven't finished, but it's great so far! Though it is in a slightly altered AU, their characters are not only reflective of the show's, but I would say an accurate estimated extension of what their characters would be like older and with more 'screen time' aka, interaction (including Sokka, Suki, and Iroh) that takes talent, creativity and close attention to detail.

I want to give a nod to one more piece:

Brightest Nights and Darkest Days

Sighhhh.... I have complicated feelings on this one. The writer is very skilled and creates an absorbing narrative. The romantic scenes are on point. The plot tension is compelling, and the ending has a powerful gut punch.

However, Zuko and Katara's characters swing back and forth from more accurate and relatable, to completely foreign.

Zuko is an insufferable jerk, and not in a cute way 😭 Katara is portrayed as almost a ditz, and not in a cute way!!

Iroh's character seemed unnecessary here and intrusive.

There were 2 other characters whose names I forgot, but were also unnecessary .

I have a love-hate relationship with this fic.

I know the authoress may read this, so I want to respect her and her work. In all honesty, I very much admire her style and skill in writing.

To close, I want to note that as authors, you have the creative authority and license to write your fic however you want, and I respect that. I also admire the fact that you devoted hours, days, weeks of your life to fulfill your creative vision and to entertain your audience.

If nothing else, I hope my insights serve as a spur for discussion among readers and as some food for thought among authors.

If you made it this far, thank you and best of wishes. 🥰🙏🏽