#NONE OF THIS IS FAIR IM GOING TO START CLIMBING THE WALLS

[goblinbabe666]

i fucking haaaaaate. and i mean HATE. having to stock up when i get my period. this is bullshit. i’m already in pain and extremely sweaty and nauseous. on top of having to leave my house to glower at hygiene products and pain relievers and snacks for an extended period of time trying to figure out what i need or want i have to go spend my OWN MONEY? TO NOT BE UNCOMFORTABLE? ITS SO EXPENSIVE.

[alyssaswrld999]

Why Me? Chapter 3: Glenn? Abraham? This can't be happening

Part 2

Y/n's Pov:

Moments before this all didn't make sense because really none of it all made sense. Why would the love of my life be taken by evil people? The people that took my family?

This isn't right...

This isn't fair...

I decided that I wasn't gonna stand here and deal with my problems this way. I climb down from the platform and I make my way back to my house. I pack my bag with food, clothes, weapons and a first aid kit.

I'm going to go and find Daryl on my own and its gonna help if I make it to Hilltop to see Maggie. I grab my bag and make my way out of the house. As I'm walking down the road to find the place I can climb over the wall I hear someone talking at the front gate that sounds familiar.

Then as that voice kept talking I already knew who it was. It was the same voice of the man that killed my brother. The same voice that took Daryl.

It was Negan...

"Oh shit" I thought. I quickly climb up the wall and make my way over it safely and quietly. As I drop down and land on the other side I make a quick run for it through the woods.

I'm not gonna stay in that place just for them to end up taking me back to the Sanctuary. If I'm gonna find Daryl I'm not ever going to be taken there by them and I don't want to be anywhere near Negan. My feet kept running and running until I couldn't take it anymore to were I finally stopped to catch my breath.

I looked around to make sure that I was far away as possible from the man that murdered my family and friends. I sat down beside this big oak tree and began to cry. I was broken from all of what has happend and I haven't cried since that brutal night.

"Darlin you don't wanna ruin them boots by crying on them" a voice said. I looked up and seen someone that I needed to see. It was Abraham. "Abraham?" I asked. Next thing I know he's giving me a big grin and holds his hands out for a hug.

I wipe away the tears and stand up to give him a hug. "Thought I would never see you again" I mumbled. Abraham chuckled and then pulled away. "Sky im here talking to you it's ok" Abraham said.

"Yeah uhm I'm just.. I'm sorry for what happened" I whispered. Abraham looked at me and gave me a small smile.

"I know sweetheart and there's nothing that you need to be sorry for. You didn't do anything wrong"

I started to tear up again and I nodded at him. Abraham was one of my bestfriends and he didn't deserve to die especially the way he did. "I- I need to get to Hilltop and I'm afraid that Negan is gonna get me." I whispered.

"He's not gonna get you" Another voice said.

I turn around and almost collapsed from who I seen. It was Glenn...

"Glenn!" I said. Glenn smiled and nodded at me. "Hey sis" Glenn said. I ran to him and gave him a big hug. I felt Glenn wrap his arms tightly around me and he squeezed me tightly. I cried in his arms and I didn't want to let go of him.

"G-Glenn I'm s-sorry..." I whispered. I felt him squeeze me tighter. "I know Sky..." Glenn said. I pulled away a little and I looked at him. "C-can you help me get to Hilltop" I asked. Glenn nodded his head and me, Abraham and Glenn made our way to Hilltop.

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After awhile from walking it seemed like forever. As I kept looking over I seen Glenn still walking beside me. "You know I figured you would talk a little more" I said. Glenn looked over at me and smiled. "Well I already figured what you were going to say you're my sister after all" Glenn said. I chuckled at his response and I enjoyed his company even if it ain't real.

"Yeah and since I'm your sister I wanna talk" I replied. Glenn looked back over at me and we kept walking. "About what" Glenn asked. I looked back over at him and I kept walking and It took me a second before I could answer. "About everything Glenn... like how am I gonna face Maggie? Or Rosita and Sasha?" I said.

Glenn walked ahead of me and I stopped. As I was catching my breath and trying to think I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked over and seen it was Abraham. "Sky you are gonna get through this. You are one of the most amazing people I've seen in this group and your strong. Daryls lucky to have you here and everyone else as well" Abraham said.

I put my hand on his and I shook my head. "Abe... I should have done something. I should have known that this wasn't a good idea and it ended this way" I whispered. Glenn and Abraham walked and stood in front of me.

"Sky don't blame yourself. This wasn't your fault and don't let anyone or yourself say that. We know that it wasn't your fault and it wasn't no one elses" Glenn said. "Yeah Sky it ain't your fault. You don't need to be blaming yourself" Abraham added.

"It's just it's hard you know? I- you guys didn't deserve any of this" I said. Glenn shook his head and then Abraham and Glenn hugged me. I started to cry and I cried in their arms. I couldn't stand Negan for taking my brother and one of my best friends away. They didn't deserve to die or die the way they did.

Glenn lifted my chin and smiled at me. "Remeber what you told me at the prison? When we were trying to get ready to face the Governor?" Glenn asked. I shook my head because I think I remembered but there was so much I said. "You said that I shouldn't get in my head. Because it makes me feel vulnerable and that's how someone can get killed" Glenn said.

I nodded understanding what he meant. I didn't need to get to much into my head because it makes me feel angry and makes me want to just give into my emotions. That all I wanted to do was let my rage and anger loose and I couldn't do that right now. "Your right" I said.

Glenn smiled and put his arm around my shoulder. "That's my sister" Glenn said. We began walking again and I felt a little better after what he said.

After awhile from walking it got a little more quiet and I looked back to see Glenn and Abraham standing there looking at me. "You guys okay" I asked. They nodded at me and smiled. "We are here at Hilltop" Abraham said. I looked back and seen the gates in the distance but it hurt because I knew that Glenn and Abraham were gonna leave.

I turn back and seen them walking towards me. "Am I gonna see you both again?" I asked. Glenn and Abraham nodded at me. "Of course. If you need us or wanna see us just call out" Glenn said. I nodded and hugged Glenn. "Goodbye brother. I love you" I whispered. "I love you too sis. Take care of Maggie for me" Glenn said. I pulled away and I nodded at him.

Then I seen Abraham smile and walked towards me. "Give me a hug big guy" I said holding out my hands. Abraham walked close and I gave him a big bear hug. "Take care Sky. Love ya and kick ass okay" Abraham said. I pulled away and I nodded at him. "I will and you both take care okay" I said. They both nodded and walked back into the woods.

I knew that I was gonna see them again. Deep down I believed that if I needed them they are here and it's true. If I ever need my brother he's always here even in death. I turned around and I began walking up to the gates and I breathed in a big sweet feeling of relief.

Part 4

Masterlist

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 4

Chapter 3

Warning: mention of torture? Light victim blaming, Lucifer, Satan, and Beel commit murder.

“I see,” Diavolo had a contemplative look on his face. The demon lord, often seen with a jovial, bright smile plastered upon his face, now had replaced it with a more serious look as Lucifer explained just what had happened to his brother. “And you’re positive this is what happened to Mammon?”

“Asmo is certain enough that he would stake his title as Avatar of Lust on it.” Satan spoke up.

“I see, if that’s the case then I will permit you up to the human world to pay these women a visit. Make sure they suffer, all three of you.” The warmth in his voice, his eyes, now replaced with a cold tone and a wrathful look, absolutely enraged that a demon not just under his rule, but in his cabinet no less had been assaulted in this manner. He may have failed in protecting the Avatar of Greed from this but he would see to it that a crime this grave never happened again to one of his subjects. “I’d would go in your stead to deal with them myself, but I will stay behind and work to pass legislation to ban the making of pacts freely. This will not happen again; I swear it on my life and my throne.”

And with Diavolo’s permission the three Avatars were off, out for blood for the travesty that befell their brother. Once they were gone, Diavolo turned to his butler.

“Barbatos, did you foresee this at all? Was there not anything we could have done differently to prevent this?” For as angry as he is, the demon lord feels a certain sense of guilt for what happened to the white-haired demon. What kind of ruler cannot protect one of his subjects from something so heinous?

“In another reality, yes.” He nodded, “But never in this one specifically, my Lord.”

“What happens next?”

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The three Avatars stand outside the residence of the witches. Lucifer is the first to step forward, demon form manifesting from the wrath coursing through his being. The aura he emits is suffocating to all around him. A knock on the door is all the courtesy he plans to give them tonight.

When the door opens, there is a collective gasp.

“L-Lord Lucifer,” One of the sisters steps back as the three demons barge their way inside the building. “To what do we owe the honor of this visit from not only you, but your younger brothers as well?”

“Do not. DO NOT ACT AS IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO OUR BROTHER!” Satan roars, his demon for making its appearance. He’s ready to go on the attack however it’s Lucifer that stops him with a simple wave of the hand.

“We know everything you’ve done.” The eldest’s voice is cold, gaze calculated. “You’ve not only laid a hand on one of my brothers, but my favorite one at that. That in and of itself is enough to warrant your deaths, but to cause him such suffering will ensure they are not quick.

With another wave of his hand, the Avatar of Pride bound the three women before letting his brothers have a go at the other two. The eldest was his.

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Asmo took a step into his brother’s room and was devastated to see the look on his brother’s face. He looked so broken; his cheeks soaked with tears as Asmo heard Arella speaking.

“You don’t have to do it if you’re not strong enough for it. I’m sure there are alternatives we could find if you can’t. Just remember, you’re not alone in this. We all will help you if you decide to go through with this.”

The demon’s curiosity was piqued. Just what we’re they talking about?

“’Rella, I can’t ask that of any of you. This is my punishment for bein’ so powerless.”

Asmodeus cleared his throat to gain her their attention.

“What are you two talking about? Did something else happen?”

Arella only picked up the phone and handed it to him. What he saw was enough to pull a gasp from the demon. It made him sick.

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As soon as it had begun, the torture was over. None of the three brothers had even broken a sweat at this point. The witches hadn’t even lasted that long. Blood and viscera coat the floor, bones stick out from odd places, one has pieces missing from her body here and there- bite marks and missing flesh, even a missing arm- all courtesy of the Avatar of Gluttony.

“Beel, are you hungry or has anger tided your hunger?”

“I'm famished,” The Avatar of Gluttony confirmed.

“Go ahead and dispose of their bodies then. Make sure no trace of them remains.” The Avatar of Pride nods to his younger brother.

It was then that they heard it- the screaming cry of a frightened baby. The sound was easy to miss over the shrieking and wailing- the pleas for mercy that would never come. One by one, their heads turned to the sound just upstairs as they all came to terms with the fact that a child had been born from this travesty.

Satan was the first to move as he climbed the stairs. Just off to the right was a tiny nursery and lying in the crib, he found the child. All of his instincts were screaming at him to do away with the infant. He almost did had it not been for Lucifer’s hand placed on his shoulder. They were soon joined by Beel as all three of them peered down at the tiny child below them.

“What do we do?” Beel asked.

“Do we take them with us? Or do we leave them to the proverbial wolves?”

Both brothers looked to the eldest, demanding an answer. For the first time, the Avatar of Pride doesn’t have the answer. Does he take the life of an innocent child or does he subject his brother to a lifetime of suffering? It's an impossible decision to make where either party ultimately loses in the end.

Lucifer reaches down and takes the infant into his arms, a pained look on his face as he scrutinizes the infant’s appearance. Suddenly, he’s flashing back to his time as an angel, back to the first time he ever held Mammon in his arms. The child is an exact carbon copy of their father, no apparent features from his mother or her sisters, this was the best case scenario, but the little one looks sickly- likely due to the lack of demonic influence that would have been received from their father had he been present during the pregnancy.

Finally, after remaining silent for what felt like eternity Lucifer spoke up. “The child doesn’t look long from this world. We’ll wait for morning. If they survive the night, we’ll take them with us- let Mammon decide what to do with them.”

The other two nodded as Beel went back downstairs to finish the meal he had started.

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“You don’t have to take him, Mammon.��� Asmo kept staring at the photo on his brother’s D.D.D. as he spoke.

“He has no one else, Asmo,” The white-haired demon frowns. “I can’t just leave him to die and it’s not like I can just give ‘im away either. As much as I hate it, he’s the heir to everything I am- the next Avatar of Greed, the next ruler of the fourth layer. It’ll be hard at first, but I’ll force myself to look past what happened to me. This isn’t his fault, so why punish him for the crimes of his mother and her sisters? He’s innocent in all this.”

“Even now,” the Avatar of Lust chuckled sadly, “after all these years, you still have the heart of an angel, don’t you? You aren’t thinking about what this will do to you, are you? He’ll be a constant reminder of your trauma. Is that really fair to you?”

“It isn't, but when has life ever been fair? If life was fair, we wouldn’t ’ve lost Lilith- wouldn't ‘ve fallen from the Celestial Realm.” He wiped at his eyes.

“No. It’s not, but I still think this is a bad idea for you. None of us will stop you if this is what you want to do but you shouldn’t do it just out a sense of obligation.” Asmo placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You should only keep him if you want to.”

At the look of resignation on Mammon’s face, Arella placed a hand on his back. “We’re here if you need us. If it gets to be too much, I can help care for him, okay?” She echoes the words she had said previously.

“Babe, you don’t-”

“I know I don’t, but I want to.” She smiled softly. “We’re in this together. All of us.” She looked to the strawberry blonde demon as he nodded in agreement.

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Satan sat in the rocking chair next to the crib while Lucifer was on the phone notifying Diavolo of the situation as well as speaking to Arella in regards to the baby. He studied his nephew, wondering just what might happen to the little boy. Over the hours since finding him here, the tiny half-demon seemed to be getting stronger- likely from just being in the presence of his brothers and him. It was apparent that the child would be coming with them. He wondered what his brother’s reaction would be to the infant. Demons were known to kill unwanted offspring out of panic.

It was the circle of life, the blonde supposed. Not what the child deserved, but if it led to that, there was really nothing anyone could do. He was drawn from his thoughts as quiet chirps sounded from the boy. He watched as the infant brought his little hand to his mouth and he started squirming in the mass of blankets he was swaddled in.

The Avatar of Wrath looked around for a bottle or really anything that could be a source of nourishment. Of course, the newborn would get hungry eventually- that's essentially all babies at this age, eat and sleep. The demon finally finds a mini fridge on the wall opposite the crib, right next to the changing table. He had never fed a baby before but he would be willing to try as long as it kept the boy satisfied and kept him from crying. A trial by fire as they say.

Rocking the infant carefully, he slowly got up and retrieved a bottle from the fridge. It was a lot smaller than he thought an infant should take but it was good enough for the time being. Thankfully there was a bottle warmer placed on a nightstand near the crib. He placed it inside, setting the temperature at that of a human’s normal body temperature. When the milk was sufficiently heated, he gave it to the child who then suckled it down rather quickly,

“Hey now, there’s no need to suck it down so fast. You'll choke if you’re not careful.”

Lucifer had rejoined at him at this point. The scene of his brother trying so hard to feed the baby almost made him chuckle. “I can take him, if you’d like, Satan.”

“Please, I really don’t know how to do this.” He pulled the bottle away so he could transfer the child to his older brother.

“It won’t be long until the dawn. Gather up some of his things as we’ll be taking him with us. I just got off the phone with Arella. She told me Mammon plans on keeping the him.” Lucifer only sighed, wondering if the Avatar of Greed was only doing this out of a sense of obligation and responsibility.

Green to yellow gradient eyes widen in surprise at the statement. “He’s planning on keeping him? I figured he wouldn’t want anything to do with the baby.”

“As did I but, for all of our brother’s flaws, he’s still genuinely a good person. I don’t think he can really leave behind someone who needs him- especially an innocent child.” Lucifer looks down at the child who has now finished the bottle. “Hand me a rag.”

“Why?”

“Well, I would prefer not to be spat up on and now that he’s finished eating, he needs to be burped.” The eldest moved the infant to rest against his shoulder as Satan handed him the nearest rag he could find. “Babies aren’t capable of burping on their own. Now, go gather his things. I’ll tend to him for the time being."

Next

Masterlist 2

[saturatedboy]

Greetings! it is me again

im here for another request for m'lady donna

Could you do Mafia Donna x Mafia Reader

Enemies to lovers please ( ╹ v ╹ )

Donna Beneviento x GN!Mafia!Reader

Words: 6k

Warnings: Mentions of death, gore and violence

Requests: Open

Smoke drifted into the crisp cold air as the clouds overhead began to turn into a darker grey, carrying the weight of all their pent-up water. The breeze had turned against the sky, picking up speed as time went on. “Seems to be a stormy night tonight boss,” A croaked voice spoke out, putting out their lit cigar as they scraped it alongside the cobbled wall that they were leaning on.

With an audible sniff and eyes turning upwards, a smile was drawn upon your lips. “Seems so. However, don’t let the simple trickle of water make you forget your place. We are doing this tonight, rain or no rain. I can’t have any more fuckups you hear me?” The other cowered down a little, turning their head to face the other way down towards the open entrance of the alleyway that both of you were hiding in.

“Yes boss,”

“Good, now get the horse and cart ready, we have an order to deliver.” soft noises of the worker footsteps travelled down the alleyway, echoing with each step. Once out and turned, you shook your head and pulled fingers through your hair. The slight texture of grease made you sigh, disappointed at the fact your hair wasn’t as soft as it had been in previous days. “I need a shower,” you moaned, glancing up as you felt the first drop of water touches your skin and slide down. The feeling of its coldness made you groan, pulling your hands away from your hair onto your shoulders where the hood to your poncho over your head keeping you dry from any further water droplets. Once you made sure it was secured, you began to set trail off down the same way your partner had travelled, down the alleyway and made a sharp right as you entered back onto the streets of the village. Although it was bustling with life, you found not many people had travelled down the small areas of darkened light between houses. So instead, you and your team began to meet up there to discuss matters upon next delivers.

Keeping your head low, you walked down the dirt pathways, only to look up when the noises of soft neighing could be heard. A horse stood tall; its brown of its body being sploshed with bits of dirt along with the odd leaf in its mane. Smiling at the beautiful creature, you ran your fingers through its mane, starting with the top of its head and working your way down, picking the fallen leaves out and throwing them onto the ground. Beng caught up in pleasing the horse, a sudden tap of your shoulder made you turn and huff. “What.” You spoke, the word coming out as a demand rather than a question. Another partner of yours looked at you, rubbing the back of their head sheepishly as they cracked a long-side smile.

“Time to get going, everything is ready.” Nodding, you looked back at the horse one more time and placed a soft kiss upon its mussel, cooing as you stared into its black eyes.

“Aren’t you just magnificent.” You whispered, giving one last stroke through its mane before you walked away, letting your hand wonder over the side of its rather plump body. The horse whimpered under your touch, missing the feeling of your warmth soothing its headache from staying up all day since the crack of sunlight.

You stopped just behind the horse, grabbing hold of your partners hand as they pulled you up upon a wooden cart that had the edges as benches and the middle being filled with bags. Waiting for the rest of your team to climb on, you fiddled with your dirt and cracked nails letting your mind wander. Everything had changed after the disappearance of Mother Miranda. People had no one to worship so instead a vote for mayor had been decided as the village needed someone to keep everyone in shape. Although the Lords and Ladies still existed, no one had really known much of them as it sometimes felt like they too had disappeared. ‘Fools’ you spoke within your mind, leaning back against the wooden rest as you relaxed your body slightly, opening your legs taking up much space since a small of your group would be coming with you for this delivery.

Soon once everyone was settled, the cart began to move with the horse towing it. As the journey had begun, you checked in on everyone in your team making sure that they were okay and that any sort of fuck up they make, you would handle it appropriately- not like they really made ay fuckups; a generous pay drop would be the worst thing you could do to them. Back to your thinking, you smirked as a sudden image crossed your mind.

The fair and sweet Lady Beneviento.

Oh, was she a kicker to your reputation amongst the vast of villages. Although not many knew this, but their ‘oh so wonderful’ Lords and Ladies hadn’t actually disappeared. They just worked in more secretive jobs, like you. Now, being a contraband giver was more of an illegal crime now that the mayor had placed down laws but what's the fun in following when breaking them gave you such more of an experience to be truly alive. Now, knowing the whole area, you had knowledge of where the Lords and Ladies were hiding away and doing their own nasty deeds.

When you first got into business by delivering the ‘secret bags’ as the Duke would sell them to their buyers, you had stumbled across The Lord Heisenberg being someone you were delivering to. It didn’t come to any shocker that you and him got along almost instantly. The dynamics of your relationship with the fourth Lord was nothing more than a buddy to see very now and again- it was your listening skills that got him to like you on a mutual level.

In the past 3 years, you had stumbled across what the other lord and Ladies were doing. Lord Moreau would ask for you to deliver DVD’s that he could watch, Lady Dimitrescu would ask you to deliver your services to her to help out with her three daughters and lastly, Lady Beneviento. She has never asked you for such things. She was quite secretive in the past, keeping to herself. You did expect so much her to keep that up- but you never expected to find her doing such activities like yourself.

It was a dark night that you saw her for the first time. You both had crossed paths that faithful night. You were doing a private mission of walking to Lady Dimitrescu’s castle for a ‘play date’ with her three daughters. Upon arriving, you had bumped into the Lady Beneveinto and knocked her onto the floor. The doll cradled in her arms came to life and attacked you by the legs, with small bruises, you huffed and picked up the doll, holding her out at arm reach so her long limbs of wood couldn’t hit you. The Lady on the floor stared up at you as the impact had revelled something one might describe to be ‘horrifying’ to the human eye. She had quickly began engaged with red as she stood back up and swept her veil back over her face, walking over to you and giving you a straight punch in the face just as you were trying to apologise for your mistake. The impact had you falling onto the ground, and the doll was released being brought back to its owner the doll maker. “How dare you,” She spat out, letting the doll in her arms glide above her shoulders.

You got up again and muttered a ‘sorry’ before trying to proceed past her, already knowing you were going to be a little late to the ‘play date’. However ,it seemed the doll maker had other ideas, seeing as you did reveal something she was so self-conscious about she had the doll at her shoulder swipe down at you, using a thin string to wrap your arms behind your back. The quick movements of the doll flying about had you unbalanced as you tried to keep up with the doll’s movement moving around your head. Misplacing your step, you fell back onto your knees and received a harsh blow to your face by a black shoe. With your head tilted to one side, blood running down your nose with the taste of metal between your lips, you could feel a sweep of warmth burst in your chest as your senses began to argue whenever you should try fight the Lady or scream for help. You didn’t know what to do so you kneeled in silence, waiting the next move. “I see you again I’ll make you more broken than porcelain doll that has fell of the highest shelf” Lady Beneviento had spoken, walking out with her doll back in her arms. It wasn’t till the daughters had gone searching for you that they found yourself in a bloodied state, holding back their hunger and instead getting you cleaned up. You kept the meeting between yourself and the doll maker a secret, saying that you were simply ambushed by a maid that worked at the Castle not really thinking about their lives since anyone who worker for the Lady Dimitrescu would be dead anyway.

The cart had come to a sudden stop, awaking you from your memories. Biting your lip, you could feel one of your canines scrape along- the tooth being chipped after being kicked in the face. A frown came to your face, another day doing business was not the most amusing thing you could be doing but none the less you had to get it done. A day’s worth of money was more you could ask for, being the secretive organisation that brought the outside technology and knowledge into the homes of those willing to pay large amounts for such items. Scanning the cart, watching as your team for this mission take some of the bags from the middle, you readjusted your hood on your head and jumped out after. Turning around to face the empty cart, you leaned in and collect the last of bags that were carrying such items that you didn’t know since the Duke gave no information what-so-ever, just to deliver the goods and collect the money.

“Let’s go.” You called out, walking in front of your team as you felt the water of the rain come more intensely down, matching your sudden mood. Rain was the worst of the weather; it wasn’t like you had anything to shield yourself from its droplets since your last umbrella was back at the base. Water fell off your frame, your poncho soaking it up and letting it cling to your clothes underneath. Shaking your head, you took in your surroundings. It appeared you were in a wood, maybe forest? You weren’t sure, you hadn’t exactly explored such parts since you were a child. “Charles, recite what Duke said,” You called out behind you, waiting for the other to respond.

“he said we should head Nother-West to deliver these bags. A mansion that he had spoken of should be there and we are to give the bags to the house owner.” Nodding to the words, you kept along a path that was littered with the dried leaves and dust from the dirt below. It was as though the bright colour from the grass had been taken away, leaving nothing more than distress and dust of those had become one with the ground. As you walked with your team trailing behind, the hairs on your arm shad spiked up, peaking interest at the sudden change in atmosphere. It felt as though you were being watched, maybe by the owls, maybe by the squirrel's that gazed down at your forms from the high trees- all that you knew was that you had eyes watching you and your every move. You felt mildly disturbed.

Deep breaths had calmed your nerves slightly, a silent voice in your head telling you that you were safe yet the nagging guy feeling had you on your toes, leaving our shoulders to be tensed. The quietness had been broken by one of your team mates, them speaking up in a high pitch voice. “What was that?!” Turning heads stared at him as he looked to the side, his eyes focusing on the trees that were staggered about.

“What was what.” You asked, arching a brow as you stopped walking. The man that had spoken up stayed quiet, staring at one spot until he shook his head getting rid of his thoughts.

“Nothing, let's keep moving. I thought I saw the doll moving.”

“Great he is going insane,” A woman had joked, making others around you laugh at her comment.

“Keep talking and each word you all say is a deduction of your payment. Let's go, we can’t be late.” That had shut them all up, this time you all were walking a faster pace to find the mansion, still sticking on the path hoping it led you there.

Each minute that had passed, you felt the feeling of your disgust growing. You were fine with the one doll that was laid against a tree a moment ago, the thought of a child that came through crosse our mind and they may had left it but every minute that passed and the deeper you followed the trail, the more dolls that were hanging, left and stuck to trees, branched and the floor had grown in popularity. Mentally you were no prepared for such toys, ever since the doll maker had attacked you, you had grown disgusted of the creation finding it to be a taint onto your pride to let such a dainty, yet somewhat nerve-ticking woman to beat the crap out of you. How she made the blood that circled your body become thick with hatred. “I can see the house up ahead!”

Your team and yourself had heaved the bags onto the front porch of the mansion, being wary to not knock over any plant pots that were settled amongst the rocking chairs that were soft rocking in the wind. Pulling down your drenched hood, you rolled up your sleeves of your grey dress-shirt and knocked against the door waiting for the house owner to answer. “This place is giving me the creeps,”

“You can say that again, I mean look at that doll in the window.”

“Oh gosh, it’s so large.”

“That’s one creepy ass-looking doll.”

Rolling your eyes at your employee's comments, you knocked again getting slightly impatience waiting for the owner to answer. It was hammering down with rain; the wind was picking up and not to mention you have yet to head back to base and sort through all the money this week to give out. You were a busy person; you had no time to be waiting around for-

The door had creaked open slightly, letting the small amount of light from the inside pour into line on the dark porch. “We have brought your package.” You spoke, stepping into the small amount of light in between the double doors hoping to see who the buyer was. The door creaked more open and you stepped back, taken back at the sudden appearance who you were facing.

Lady Beneveinto had stood, her veil over her face and swarmed by her feet were many small dolls, dressed and suited in different colours. You could feel your nose twitch, the sudden reminder of what she had done to you last time. You bit back a hateful comment and breathed out heavily. “Your order...ma’am.” You stepped aside so she could stare behind her veil at the bags your employees were carrying. She slowly nodded and she took a step outside to stand next to you. In a low voice she had spoken.

“Please, leave them inside by this door and you may get going.” She turned to look at you. “I’ll give your...boss their money.” Oh, you could clearly here the smile playing at her lips, the way her voice had deepened slightly when saying the last part brought your jumble of nerves to appear more. Hearing your team agreeing, you watched as each of them entered her house and left unharmed by the dolls that sat waiting patiently by the door. You did however find it humorous how each one of them had carefully stepped over them, as though they would come to life and attack them if they dared to accidently touched them. Once all bags were safely inside, they nodded at you and began to leave the porch, disappearing the further they walked as a lonesome fog had taken up the atmosphere. Soon, it was just you, Lady Beneviento and the creepy dolls. “Why so tense,” She spoke up suddenly, scaring you half-to death. Placing a hand over your fast beating heart, you looked away and pulled your hood over your head.

“Because its cold,” You weren’t going to back down to her, yeh she has creepy dolls but you have pride and dignity to not be stricken down by such a sly woman. Her laugh had caught your ears, it was eerily soft and gentle, as though she was the one nervous in this situation.

“Hm, sure. Do come in then whilst I fetch your money- if your cold you’ll warm right up.” She backed away into her home, looking back waiting for you to make your move. Looking back at the fog becoming thicker, you quickly gathered the much-needed courage to walk into her home and close the door behind you. You couldn’t lie, you almost moaned at the heat you felt surrounding your body. Seeming to approve, Lady Beneveinto began to walk away and out of your sight, leaving you with the hundreds of dolls surrounding you. Leaning against the wall by the doors, you looked down at your nails and picked at them finding comfort when doing so...

“Boo,” A voice had whispered into your ear, making you jump and grab the hunter knife that was hidden in your boots. Pointing the knife at the offender who floated above you, you scowled at the so-called-being. “Oh, I see your nose isn't bleeding. How sad, red is a pretty colour on you.”

“What do you want,” Sneering your words at the doll, it in response laughed at your facial features.

“Ya know you squint when your mad, that’s pretty cute but that isn't why I’m here. Lady Beneveinto was hurt deeply when you scared her- and I don’t like those who harm my mistress in any way.” The doll had stepped onto the wooden ground Infront of your feet. It slowly touched your left knee and watched in amusement as you tucked them under your body, being sat on your knees holding the knife out at it. “Sadly though, you work for the Duke and we can’t harm the only person being a life saviour brining the goods to us.” She smiled as you lowered your knife, a little relive that you won’t be dead within this place that you now wanted to badly leave.

Taking another step, the doll was now close to your position, looking up to see you staring down at it. “You work for a mafia, right?” It asked, it’s eyes never leaving yours.

“Maybe, though I see it much more as a bunch of individual enjoying breaking the law.” You responded, not even noticing the feeling of small hands gripping your knees gently as they lean up further to your face.

“Enjoy breaking the law hm? Too bad we can’t break your nose again-” the doll spoke, fully climbing onto your thighs ignoring your protest against it. “Your kind of fun,” it said, smiling up at you. “I’m Angie, and you are play mate?” You grimaced at the word. Playmate. It sounded weird.

“(Y/n), pleasure.” The doll giggled, jumping up and down slightly and clapping her hands.

“I have a name to a face, how fun. Playmates don’t normally get to speak their names, but you're weirdly different.” an awkward laugh erupted from your throat, you were silently hoping that the Lady would come back and save you from the doll of hers. “She hates you.” Angie said, humming slightly at your reaction. You pursed your lips into a thin line and nodded.

“I hate her to, she didn’t have to attack me and neither did you,” Angie stared at you, her smile disappearing of her face.

“You revealed her insecurity, how could you take her safety and pull it away from her.” Her posture on your lap held little aggression, yet her voice held anger. You were taken back from her change in mood, what had you done exactly?

“I don’t understand, what has she to feel insecure about?” Your question lingered between the both of you, the other dolls that you didn’t even bother to register had stood off to the side in a line watching you, hushed voices of their own talking amongst each other.

Angie turned her head slightly to look at the, you followed her gaze and a small gasp came from you. You hated dolls even more- BECAUSE THEY FUCKING MOVED AND THEY WERE MORE OF THEM! “Jeese calm down, they aren’t going to hurt you...unless you want them to-”

“No, I’m good thanks.”

“Okay goodie! Now let's talk more! You revealed her face! Everyone knows Lady Benevento hides her face for a reason. And you went ahead, pushed her and made her veil show her face to you. Of course, she hates you! I do too! Well- sort of. You’re fun!”

You sweated at Angie’s word, giving a half-smile. “Yeah, you said that earlier that I was fun. Now c’mon. She has nothing to hide, she’s pretty why would she need to hide her face? -wait I didn’t mean to say pretty she’s average, ya know? Like all females, average and cute- not cute just-”

“Shut up, please. You’re becoming less fun and more annoying.” You nodded and stayed quiet, going back to biting your bottom lip. Any further conversation between you both had been left alone. You just wanted to get your pay and go back home, to everyone in the village and to never come here again. You’ll have to talk to Duke about this.

“Apologies for waiting, I was caught up in looking at one of my finest creations all dolled up for me. And had to make sure the others had done their jobs.” Her clicking of her shoes had you pushing Angie of your thighs and as swift as a fox grabbing prey you stood up, your hood falling down and splatting against your shoulder remining you of how wet you felt around yourself.

You stared at her, looking down at her hand to see she was carrying a money bag that looked rather filled. She walked further towards you, her expression unseen to your eyes as she held the bag out for you to reach. With itching fingers, you grabbed the bag and nodded a ‘thanks.’ “We do hope to have you over again, maybe this time we can play with you.” She tilted her head, hands clasping in front of her. You gulped and didn’t reply too shocked or scared to even use your words.

“I’m going to head back now,” You whispered, turning around to face the double doors and grabbing hold of the handle. When pulling the handle, a familiar hand caught your laying over it.

“It’s quiet the storm tonight, Stay over hm? I’m sure you can stay the night.” Her voice was right beside your ear. You felt intimidated by her as her grip on your hand had soon stung as the iron handle under your grip had pushed itself up into your flesh, marking it with red.

Not answering her, she let go of you and walked away again, letting her shoes echo against the wooden floor. “Take those wet clothes of you, you’ve already started to make a pond in my house and I don’t appreciate it from the likes of a low-life like yourself. At least my dolls do high quality services and not try to strip someone of their safety.” Body freezing up, you dropped your hand to your side. You still didn’t understand why she was so mad at that- she's a Lady for Mother Miranda’s sake. She has no need to feel self-conscious about herself, in fact you didn’t even think of any questions about when you saw her face. She was somewhat...pretty you guess.

“Oi daydreamer, c’mon. I’ll show where you shall be sleeping- that is if you can even manage to sleep hehe!”

‘stupid fucking doll’ the thought of even sleeping in this house surrounded you with dread, a frown placed upon your face however it was soon wiped away when you felt Angie’s hand wrap around your own. She led you up the stairs that were on the right, pulling up and chanting that you should ‘hurry up’ like there was something chasing after you both. Once making to even the top, after slipping one time on the stairs, she unshed you to continue forward and into a room that was plain. A simple single bed with a wardrobe and rocking chair in the corner. You looked back to see Angie gone and a sigh of relief was released between your clenched jaw from holding back your tongue when it touched you. Finding yourself wandering to the bed, you stripped your poncho off and let it sit on the windowsill, opening the window a little to let cold air rush in, and after you laid back on the bed. Getting yourself comfortable you laid down against the pillows and closed your eyes, letting your hands lay upon your stomach interwind with each other. “Quicker I get to sleep, quicker morning will come,”

The feeling of something petit touching your cheek had you groaning. “What is it mum?” You mumbled out, forcing an eye lid open. Soon the tiredness within your eyes had been slapped out of exitance as you scrambled awake. Letting your body scrunch up as you laid fully back up against the head board of the bed. Sat on the other side of your bed, near the bottom, were a range of different size dolls. All of them were giggling, making you once again grabbing the hunter knife in your shoe and pointing it all at them. “Stay back!” Your throat felt slightly sore, only have woken up. The dolls all looked at each other as though they were whispering to each other, soon they had scrambled off the bed and out of the door, running past the Lady. “I see you’re all dry now,” She spoke, walking into the room with a silver tray in her hands.

You quickly let your fingers glide over yourself, finding new clothing on yourself. This time a baby blue dress-shirt accompanied with white pants. You glared up at the Lady as she placed the silver tray on the end of the bed. “You changed me whilst I slept?”

“Why yes, it took all my power to not turn you into a doll when doing so.” Her remark sent shivers down your spine, your body reacting by feeling your skin just to make sure you weren’t actually wood. Your shoulders slumped when you felt your skin, finding the meat still on and attached. “I suggest you eat up; my dolls don’t like guests that stay too long and I’m very busy today.” She left the room in long stride, having the decency to close the door behind her. Wiping a hand down your face, you leaned towards the end of the bed and grabbed the tray, gabbing it and pulling it towards your body. Upon the tray sat a plate of toast and a cup filled with water. Hearing your stomach rumble suddenly, you dug into the food which soon settled the unknown hunger. Once done, you swung your legs out of bed and placed your shoes on that were settled under the bed. Once they were slipped on, you took your partially dry poncho of the window sill and placed it over and arm- like a butler would do with a towel or a waiter.

Walking out the room, you jumped slightly back as the smaller dolls once again were running bout, each carrying different doll limbs with themselves. Waiting for them all to go past, you stepped fully out the room just to have Angie swing by quickly. “Hey there! Morning, now c’mon you can be helping hands!” She exclaimed, grabbing your hand like she did the previous night and dragging you along with her.

“B-But Lady Beneveinto said I had to le-”

“Thats because she doesn’t want you to get mixed up but oh well- now c’mon slow poke!” You could already tell Angie was trying to sit trouble between yourself and the Lady, you were so close to going back home as well. Following you complied, going through hallways and down the elevator shaft with the many dolls.

‘I hate dolls’

“Why are they here Angie,”

“They can help”

“Why would I want them to help us, we are doing fine.”

“But it’s nice to have a more interactive company”

“Angie”

“They can be of use.”

You were sat on a stool, overlooking a deceased child body that was paced on a medical table. At first glance, you had almost thrown up your breakfast into your mouth however you weren’t going to give the Lady satisfaction of getting under your skin with her wicked ways a ‘mortal can’t handle’. The body was cut open, limbs cut and replaced with wooden and iron ones. It wasn’t until you saw the sun and moon crest that had been burned into a wooden leg attached to the body that some things made sense.

‘so, she is the one that sends the so-called gifts and toys into the village.’ you thought as you placed a hand over the creates and stroked it, feeling the indents under your skin.

“Okay fine, if you want to stay then stay. Don’t touch anything you hear me?” The Lady spoke, pulling back her veil and rolling her sleeves to her black dress. You nodded and stayed in your place, staring at the body again.

‘They aren’t giving me any sort of reaction...no words spoken even.’ The Lady stared at you, feeling a little more comfortable with the situation. A small smile even broke out on her lips, eyes drooping a little as she felt a warmth claim her normally cold body. “If you could grab the screws over there on the able behind you, that would be helpful.” You turned to face her, nodding and got up out of your seat to do as told. Angie waited until you had sat down again, nodding at the teamwork you both had unknowingly fell into. Soon she left the room, leaving you both alone to work on the ‘gift’ for the children down in the village.

“So, I’m guessing these creepy things are given to the children?” You spoke up, watching as Lady Beneveinto as she weaved stitched upon the open cuts on the body.

“Yes,” she spoke out softly, tying a knot at the end of her thread and cutting it. “It’s so I can keep an eye on everyone. The dolls, I can look through their eyes and watch the world play. Mother Miranda had ordered me to do so before she left to wherever she had to go.” You listened, muscles relaxing as you watched her work.

“I’m sorry for taking your safety away, I honestly didn’t realise what I had done to do so but I believe an apology from me is the right thing.” She stopped her hands, looking up at you with a soft smile.

“My veil hides my deformed face; it hides the scar on my right side. I’ve been told by...villages when they accidently saw it that it scares them.” Her words had wiggled their way into your heart, you felt so much sympathy for her as she had been outcasted by such people. “But you didn’t scream...It was a new feeling.”

“I suppose we are all feeling new feelings. I didn’t even question your scarring, it’s a part of you. It shouldn’t make you different.”

“For someone who does illegal crimes, your oddly nice.” You chuckled at her, sending a smile of your own her way whilst a soft heat took over your ears.

“Many people are within the business; we just are hidden from the society we are forced to grow up in.” Your words hung into the air; the conversation cut off as Angie came flying in screaming as a fox chased after her.

“Angie!” Lady Beneveinto had shouted, grabbing her and bringing her close to her chest as the fox clawed at her leg. Getting your hunters knife at, you jumped at Lady Beneveinto and made a clean cut through the fox, blood splatting onto the floor. The heavy breathing of Angie was only heard now, Lady Beneviento to shocked to even say a word whilst you stood above the now dead fox, hand dripping in blood a little. ”Like I said...your oddly nice.”

A total of a week had passed after that day, Angie was house bound for at least another week after she had brought in the fox chasing her. Within that time, you and Donna (as you found out), had settled differences and began acquaintance with one another. Whenever you didn’t have an order to give out from the Duke, you would visit her to join her and Angie for a tea party or to just help around the mansion. Her company was far more peaceful than you would expect, she had slowly started to greet you without her veil over her face and instead a warm smile is what you would see when she answered her doors.

Weeks had turned to months, and months had turned to years. You were still a successful business runner for contraband, still not caught by Mother Miranda as she had returned from wherever she had gone off to. Life was running smoothly, you felt safe when at Donna’s house, the dolls somewhat warming up to your presence and not giving you so much of a creepy vibe.

On this particular day, you were sat on the front porch in the rocking chairs with Donna, a China cup in both your hands. “How has the selling been Donna?” You asked, sipping upon the herb tea feeling your body settle in comfort. Donna shifted in her chair, looking over at you on her left side.

“I’ve heard so much gossip lately so you better be careful out there. They are starting to get suspicious of your recent buyers, the blacksmith in particular. Apparently, he left a ‘television’ out in his workshop and the sewers wife with her child by her side was suspicious. Luckily, he lied and spoke that it was a random object he created.”

You chuckled and leaned over, resting your hand on her knee. “You worrying about me? Isn’t that sweet.” you teased, only fake pouting when she slapped your hand playfully.

“Oh yes, I worry about you a lot. So much I’m scared one day I may not kiss you being alive.”

Time stopped, her words replaying in your mind. “You...want to kiss me?”

“Well yes, isn’t it obvious I have taken a liking towards you?” Her forwardness had you blushing deeply, your whole face, neck and ears covered by the red. You opened and closed your mouth like a cod fish, making her sigh and lean over this time to meet your face in the middle. Using her free hand, she cupped your cheek and forcefully pulled you into a soft kiss. Her lips moved in sync with your, yours reacting to the feeling of both love and affection almost immediately. The moment was blissful, you enjoying the feeling of her being closer than ever to you.

Until you dropped your China cup upon being to focus on the kiss- making a perfect memory for your first ever kiss with your future wife.

[katieebaby1096]

A/N: this pic posted by @kylorenxreader inspired me to write this fic. At first it was a one shot but I’ve decided to make it multiple chapters! I hope you all enjoy!

You find yourself getting into trouble with the commander and eventually end up in a sticky situation.

Warning: explicit content, smut, lack of aftercare, read at your own discretion.

18+ only

Eternal Shine Pt. 1

There’s just something about Her

You’d been with the First Order for a whole year now and it wasn’t going quite how you thought it’d be. The first month or two passed by seemingly boring, however as more time went on and you long to catch attention from a man, the only attention you’d gotten yourself is from the commander himself. You’d managed to get yourself in trouble with Commander Ren 9 times between the third and fourth month. It all started when one night on a raid you had accidentally shot a civilian who was resisting arrest. The commander had stopped dead in his tracks and as if reading your mind he stormed up to you and said, “you feel bad and regret shooting a traitor girl?”

“No, commander Ren, sir!” You quickly replied.

“You can’t lie to me..KT-8696. Report to captain phasma after we land to receive your punishment for disrespecting your Commander.” He hissed in his mechanical voice.

After receiving 5 lashings and 2 days of cleaning duty you’d tried your best to shape up but it seemed at least twice a week you’d managed to stumble into trouble with the commander. It’d been nearly two weeks with no instances of trouble and you’d had a feeling that whole day that something was amiss. You were walking down the hallway, making your way to the dining hall barely paying attention when you had ran into what felt like a wall. Looking up, you find yourself looking into the maskless face of none other than a very angry looking Commander Kylo Ren.

“You really just can’t stay out of my way can you? You stupid girl,” he spat at you as he backed you into the wall, you remained speechless.

“I think you like getting in trouble hmm? Not getting enough attention? The lashings just not teaching you anything?” His hand reached out to tightly grasp your throat.

“No sir, I don’t mean to cause you trouble,” you barely croaked out before trying to gulp in more air. You were taking in his appearance as he processed what you’d said. He had beautiful amber colored eyes, a big nose, plump red lips and creamy skin decorated by a few slight beauty marks. He was stunningly beautiful and as his hand tightened more completely cutting off your air you felt a heart blossom in your core. If this is how you go then at least you’ll die looking at the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. A sadistic grin shaped on his lips then.

“This is getting you off,” he let out a quiet chuckle before removing his grip and grasping onto the hair on the back of your head, “alright then, whore, I’ll teach you a little lesson myself,” He whispered almost to himself as he pulled you along down the hallway.

Several minutes and two elevator rides later and you were being pulled through a big black door and thrown to the floor.

“Stand up,” he demanded.

“I’m sorry Sir, I just don’t understand..?” He quickly moved to stand over you and crouched to grasp you by your throat again.

“You are going to be my little pet tonight. I can sense your arousal, practically smell your pussy dripping into your panties.” He let go of your neck and offered you his hand to help you stand.

“Take off your clothes,” you did as he instructed, slowly removing each item of armor and clothing until you were left standing in your white thong. His eyes roamed over your thick hips and thighs, up to your small waist and large breasts then stopped on your face. You had let your fingers linger in the waistband of your thong nervously.

“These as well sir?” You’d asked meekly. His lip quirked up on one side showing a dimple in his cheek as he slowly nodded

“Those too.”

“Yes sir,” you whispers hesitantly. He sat there observing your fair, freckled face as you pushed your thong passed your hips and let them drop to your feet. He had only ever seen you with your helmet on, Kylo hadn’t any clue how beautiful you were or how curvaceous your small body was.

“Go lay on the bed,” he instructed pointing to the bed situated directly in front of the window.

You obeyed willingly plopping down on the extremely neat sheets and laying back, letting my knees fall apart instinctively.

“Look at you, I can see your juices glistening as it drips from your pretty little cunt.” He spoke firmly as he sauntered to you and dropped down on the bed over you, pulling your legs into his hands.

“Do you want me to touch you, girl?”

“Yes sir!” He smiled widely at my gasping response.

“Good,” he whispered before leaning back on his heels and pushing your legs forward so your ass and pussy were in perfect height with Kylos face. You could practically feel his breath on your wet, virgin cunt as he looked at it drip. You felt his large nose nudge your clit, eliciting a moan from deep within you.

“You smell so sweet, let’s see how you taste shall we?” He licked a wide, wet stripe from your clit down to your entrance as he looked down into your eyes, surprise striking his his features as his tongue begins to enter you.

“A virgin hmm? today must be your lucky day,” he said as he released your ankles and moved to lay beside you. His hand goes to your neck before sliding down between your breasts, over the slight swell of your chubby belly and dives between your thighs to cup your sensitive mound.

“Im not going to promise I’ll be gentle but I’ll try to make it as comfortable as possible,” he said with a dark look in his eyes.

“Yes sir,” was all you could manage to get passed your lips.

His fingers slipped into your delicate, silky folds making slow circles around your clit. He leaned in close and put his soft lips on your aggressively when he pushed a finger into your pulsating hole. Pulling back he looked into your eyes while starting to slowly pump his finger in and out. You could help but let out soft moans as the heat in your core grew.

“Look at me,” he demanded. Once you obliged he plunged a second finger into you pushing and pulling faster. You felt yourself tense up and wince at the intrusive feeling. He must’ve noticed as he slowed his pace and began massaging your clit with his thumb. The heat within was growing quickly now as Kylo pulled moans and groans from your lips that you didn’t know were possible. His head dropped to the crook of your neck and began sucking at the sensitive skin, “oh, Kylo, it feels so..” you could even get the words out as your pussy began to pulsate on his fingers. He pulled away then and looked at you writhing under him as you climbed closer to the edge, “ready for another one?” You gripped his bicep tightly as he inserted a third finger and quickening his pace.

“I want you to come hard on my fingers, you don’t want to disappoint your commander do you princess?” You shook your head as more moans left you, you were teetering on the edge now.

“I want to cum for you sir!” You whined out, “please sir, please make me cum!” You begged.

He pulled his fingers from you then and stood up.

“Wait, I thought..” you mumbled out, embarrassed at how desperate you must have sounded.

“On your knees trooper,” he commanded.

“Yes sir,” you scrambled to your knees as he approached you. He stopped just in front of you, crotch just in front of your face.

“Undress me,” he demanded, gesturing to his clothes.

“Yes sir,” you wasted no time practically ripping his clothes off until he stool in front of you, naked, letting his long and thick cock poke you.

“Get back on the bed, hands and knees.”

You happily obliged, ignoring the pestering nerves causing your hands to shake. You posed yourself as he’d commanded and waited for contact, not expecting the sharp slap he gave to your right ass cheek.

“Count.”

“One.” You blurted out.

Smack.

“Two.”

Smack

“Three.” His smacks got more intense as he kept going.

Smack.

“Four!” You’d wailed out this time.

Smack.

“Five!” You cried out, clenching your thighs together at his harshest hit.

“Good girl,” he spoke lowly now as he rubbed the redness of your cheek. You felt his hand on the center of your back pushing you towards the mattress.

“Are you ready?” He asked, rubbing the head of his cock along your folds getting it wet with your juices.

“Yes sir,” you whispered.

He pushed into you then going in all the way until he couldn’t go any deeper, letting out a deep groan at your loud gasp. He rested there for a minute letting you adjust before pulling all the way out and slamming right back in and repeating this over a few times. You bit your lip drawing blood to keep from howling at the burning sensation from the stretch. He abruptly stopped his movements and you felt his hand snake into the back of your hair and he pulled you back into him, letting go of your hair to wrap his arm around your waist and travel between your breasts to rest on your neck.

“I’m going to make you cum on my cock,” he whispered into your ear as his other hand snaked down to your mound rubbing quick circles on your clit. He began to pound into you again holding your back against his chest drawing you back to an orgasm, you slick making each thrust easier and feel so much better. His fingers on your clit and his cock pulsing in and out of you bringing you right to the edge, “I know your close princess. I’m gonna cum in this pussy while you cum on this cock!”

“Oh Kylo, it feels so good,” you blurt out, “I’m gonna-I think I’m gonna cum sir! Please make me cum!” His pace became almost murderous as he pounded into you, rubbing your clit furiously, “cum-oh god- fuck your so fucking tight- fuck fuck fffffuck! Cum on this cock right now!” He growled into your ear, pushing you over the edge.

“Ohhhhhh! Gods yes! Thank you commander sir! Oh fuck!” You yelped out. He helped you ride out your orgasm before he pulled out of you. You looked over to see him putting his underwear and pants on before throwing your clothes and armor at you.

“Get dressed and get out. Next time you give me trouble, I won’t be so nice.” With that he left you to get dressed. You’d waddled back to your quarters that night with mixed feelings of loneliness and pride. Unbeknownst to you, Kylo Ren had waited til you left to take his clothes back off and stumble into his bed and replay everything he’d just done. He laid there under his strewn about sheets that smelled of peaches and cherry blossom just as you had, thinking about how beautiful you were. You had the most beautiful eyes that he’d swear had eternal shine that he’d never forget.

There was something about you that drew him to you. He just couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he intended to figure it out.

—-

It had been a month since your last interaction with the commander and you were feeling confident. In that time you’d managed to go on 3 dates with a guy named RC-2242, youd even gone so far as to let him into your bed. Unfortunately for you he was nothing like Kylo Ren, he had a rather small cock and he didn’t know jack about pleasing a woman. Of course after a month of staying out of the commanders way you were bound to run into him. Unfortunately it happened to be on a night that you’d gone out with good ole RC-2242. The two of you were nestled into a booth having a drink when you’d felt his eyes on you, sure enough there he was across the bar in all his masked glory but you could still feel his honey eyes boring into you. All you could muster was an awkward smile and wave. Before you even knew he had stomped over to your table, “KT-8696, please report to my office immediately.” He stomped out of the bar without another glance in your direction.

“Well,” you sighed,”I suppose I probably found myself some trouble somehow. I hope you can excuse me, I’ve got to go.”

“Of course! The commander is not someone I’d keep waiting!” He replied coolly before kissing your hand and watching you go.

What could I have possibly done now?

I’ve stayed out of his way, haven’t even seen him in a month for goodness sake!

Your mind ran wild as You made your way to the commanders office. Trying to think of things you might’ve done to upset him. It hit you then as You arrived in front of his office door. He’d seen you out with RC-2242. Just as you’d stopped about to know the door slid open revealing a maskless Kylo Ren with a very nasty look on his face.

“You and I need talk,” he said seriously, anger radiating from his glare on the small purple bruise at the base of your neck.

[the-mic-drop]

Class 1-A Cypher by Rustage

Lyrics below the cut

Izuku Midoriya - Deku (Performed by Rustage)

Call me Deku, I’m starting out on this cypher

I was quirkless, but by working I’m deserving something higher

It’s my purpose, I’m versing my present, future, and my past

So I’m gonna rock the mic with a Detroit Smash

Taking a second, I’m breaking my limit

Hitting with everything, pain I can feel it

I’m straining my muscles, I tussle with enemies

Better be ready, I’m more than a critic

I spit it, exhibit it all night

I’m killing it, chilling with All-Might

A villain inhibited by my ability

in minutes you’re watching my school fight

Fumikage Tokoyami - Tsukuyomi (Performed by Shwabadi)

When you cross this bird, you might get to see me wield the talons

So absurd how I’m applying subverse talents

Yes I’m cursed, carry a demon, I’m full of malice

Even worse for you when striking a bitter balance

Dark claws harming the vermin that are below me

Start wars, armed with determination and Oni

Get back, I’ve been endangering those who know me

Jet Black Hero, they’re calling me Tsukuyomi

Ochaco Uraraka - Uravity (Performed by DaisyBanaisy)

I’ll make you float as I’m messing with zero gravity

Don’t mean to gloat when I’m calculating these strategies

Rapidly climbing casually, my quirk “lacks in lethality”

but actually your apathy will lead straight to your casualty

I’ll happily fight for justice, with all of my capacity

My motive’s money, thankfully that don’t define morality

Reality is I’m just helping others for my family

I’m saving all humanity, don’t you mess with Uravity!

Tenya Iida - Ingenium (Performed by Dan Bull)

I’ve got many a twitch, that’s the Tenya itch

I’m like my test scores, I got plenty of tics

Academic, educated, but I never skip leg day

Still regretful of the day that I met Stain

Enraged, by what he did to my brother Tensei

I didn’t handle it the best way, I dare say

Left my hand damaged in remembrance of fair play

I’m representing Class 1-A, they’re my best mates

Tsuyu Asui - Froppy (Performed by Sophia Dere)

Ribbit Ribbit, exhibit a hero’s spirit

I’m in it and so I’ll win it

When I’m swimming, yeah I won’t stop

This frog’s idyllic not a gimmick in a minute

I be launching in to kill it

Like a frog, I’m bringing mad hops

My tongue’s deadly, spitting and I take charge

and then I’m turning invisible with my camoflage

In the water, no villain can dare to stop me

You’re looking sloppy, now you’re facing Froppy

Hanta Sero - Cellophane (Performed by VideoGameRapBattles)

Lucky 13 of the A-1 team

Kid I spit great mixtapes, stick your team

Wraps so clean,

and I’m sealing all the matches now that Cellophane will bring the pain all wrapped up in a package

Getting shipped with tons of damage, but there’s no send backs

Shut you up with my bind attacks

Get back, ‘cause you know that I’ll be winning

in this sticky situation, so I think you better stick it.

Mezo Shoji - Tentacole (Performed by Dreaded Yasuke)

You can call me wall that have ears, door that have eyes

Meaning I’m cavalier when it comes to fighting just like a spy

In close combat, my dupli-arms is coming for the harm

and I’m laughing at you if you’re trying disarm

I’ll sacrifice for everybody exhausting my quirk

Even when I’m down for the count, I’m disguising my smirk

You can cut off all of my limbs, I’m still coming in a burst

Class 1-A will always come first

Kyoka Jiro - Earphone Jack (Performed by Savvy Hyuga)

It’s ya edgy girl, Earphone Jack

Utilizing my quirk in both stealth and combat

I guess I can see how you think I fell flat

but lemme show you how I make up for that

with punk rock attacks

When my earlobes are growing

you know they whippin and probin

an’ now they got you tip-toeing

findin the range that my tone is

It’s not your typical motion n my moves don’t need compression

It’s just another jam session featuring my form of expression

Denki Kaminari - Chargebolt (Performed by Dizzy Eight)

It’s time to put in work, I got this cypher on lock

I don’t need my quirk when this verse will leave you shocked

Like a battery, I got the juice, so they put me in a box

When my positive means negative, I’m like “so watt?”

You don’t want that static with me homie it’s fatal

I got so much energy, I’m plugged in without the cable

On the low, I’ll leave everybody on the scene disabled

I’m underrated, but in a flash, I’ll leave you endangered

Shoto Todoroki - Shoto (Performed by None Like Joshua)

It’s Todoroki, I chose to be cold and lonely

Nobody can hold me with the inferno, I’m overloading

From a broken home to known hero I’m going up slowly but surely

and be better than Endeavor whether it’s hot or it’s snowing

Even if I’m behind, I’ll be sure to make Bakugo see

I do it for All of his Might or to stop killer Stain, forget any trophy

So now that you’re immobilized and then frozen in pain, no one can approach me

Put up a wall of my ice or a wall of my flames to build your enclosing

Rikido Sato - Sugarman (Performed by GameboyJones)

Give me 10 grams of white, then I’m activated (um)

Wait, I’m talking ‘bout the sugar that I took

Got a sweet tooth for taking out these villains ‘cause they’re agitating

Plus the girlies like a guy that can cook

Call me Sato the Macho, I’m saving these streets

Yeah these nachos are not yours, I need me a treat

and this crime fighting’s hard work, it can leave me beat

but like candy and cakes, being me is real sweet

Mina Ashido - Pinky (Performed by StarGirl)

The corrosive caped crusader, Pinky here to save the day

and end up taking center stage upon these lyrics that I lay up

Easygoing, I’m passionate in battle, I’m not passive

See it flowing I don’t spit fire, I spit acid

Hypnotic fashion sense, I leave you in a trance

I’m good at fighting, my other skills are in dance

Protect my friends, we’re going in on advance

Mina Ashido, you don’t even stand a chance

Eijiro Kirishima - Red Riot (Performed by NerdOut)

Kirishima’s here, everybody stand down

I’mma activate a quirk and give your chest a hand pound

With these Red Gun Turrets yeah the target is locked

I’m a boulder with a boner, man I’m hard as a rock

I’m unbreakable, cannot penetrate this armor

and I don’t need a little blue pill to get harder

I’m full of energy, enemies looking dead tired

Blood running in the street, you can call it Red Riot

Koji Koda - Anima (Performed by Connor Rapper)

I’m the quiet type, lying with the wildlife

When I’m on, you wouldn’t even need subtitle lines

Nervous around others, I’m the last one who would yell loud

But to be a hero, then I need to break the shell now

Yo it’s Koda bringing massive noise, flowing with that Ani-Voice

That timid kid with rabbit toys no longer acting coy

Drinking honey tea, facing my fear of bugs and bees

Get a bull stampeding with the words like I’m Douglby

Yuga Aoyama - Can’t Stop Twinkling (Performed by Zach Boucher)

Never needed fame or money, I can get it later

Even though it hurts my tummy, when I use my navel laser

I have got finesse, snazzier than all the rest

I’m the best, nothing less

being honest, not a flex, I’m a threat

It’s getting harder to stomach, I’ve got the smarts and I love

I’m certainly perfect, it hurts just like the art of seduction

Heart of a Puma, get ready to lose

I’ll be spreading the truth

and y’all are stupid if you choose to fight against the Yuga

Momo Yaoyorozu - Creati (Performed by HalaCG)

I’ve got the quirk creation and patience to work it

Balancing equations, don’t even need to research it

Sequencing elements, a testament to intelligence

You’d better watch out ‘cause I’m not feeling very benevolent

If a person’s in trouble, just wait and see what I’ll do

I can literally make anything. Overpowered, who?

Overpowered, who?

I meant I’ll overpower you

It’s true, sincerely Class 1-A’s Momo Yaoyorozu

Minoru Mineta - Grape Juice (Performed by Nux Taku)

Where the ladies at? (ay)

Where the ladies at? (ay)

Mineta’s here to peek at women that I’m gazing at

People thinking that I’m weak, but you know what I say to that

Leave you in a sticky situation with my grape attacks

Underestimating me? You’re lacking information

Incapacitation, when you’re facing me, frustration

Master of flirtation, pretty much the top dog

You ain’t ever coming close when I pop off

Ojiro Mashirao - Tailman (Performed by Rockit Gaming)

Ojiro, the Tailman, you get what you train for

Master martial artist, black belt on my waist though

Nobody even really understands me

Got intelligence, can’t predict any hit that I’m landing

Classmate you confide in with dignity

You can wear a costume, all I got on is a gi

Noble attitude, that’s my personality

Accept results that I earn with my own abilities

Toru Hagakure - Invisible Girl (Performed by Outcast Rae)

Take you by surprise, yeah, I can do it easy

Miss me with your eyes, yeah, you can’t even see me

No matter what you try, yeah, you can never beat me

Feels a little cheesy, like a wish from a genie

When it comes to action, my quirk is in light refraction

so it has the side effect of never being a distraction

Sneak up on my enemies, let me be the best assassin

Toru Hagakure, you can feel my passion

Katsuki Bakugo - Kacchan (Performed by DaddyPhatSnaps)

I don’t think you other heroes are even listenin’

Maybe I should focus your attention with some ‘glycerin

You don’t even get it, there’s really no competition

I’m lighting these rookies up, boi, I’m slaying on every mission

I’ll show them once and for all, little Deku won’t know what hit ‘im

I will get the recognition, exploding the opposition

I will be the greatest hero that ever took the position

So come at me little bitches, I’ll make you wish that you didn’t

[ofgoodmenarchive]

The second in a series of drabbles exploring my Blood Mage!Dorian.

Spring Thaw

Perhaps he was getting ahead of himself.

No- he was definitely getting ahead of himself.

At the very least, Dorian shouldn't have discarded the Venatori's equipment so impulsively. It was possible- even likely- the Herald would be immune to his charms. If no attraction existed between them to start with, then he'd forsaken his current, sole employment for nothing.

Introducing himself was also a complex matter. His subject of fixation was more often than not swarmed by Chantry puppets- Inquisition puppets, whatever.

Either way, they'd be wary of something like him.

  Which would be perfectly sensible, if we're being honest...

For days he stalked them through the Hinterlands, camping out of sight- preferably at high vantage points. On this occasion he'd discovered a homely cave dug into a cliff, with an ideal view of the Inquisition camp. They'd organised around a half-crumbled tower, wrangling full command of the King's Road at this end.

It took time to accomplish- Dorian had spectated most of the work. The Templar-Mage conflict was their main concern- by now almost completely eliminated. Still there was plenty of trouble to be had, Dorian knew.

  Are they even aware of the Venatori yet?

Indeed for now they mostly focused on the resident lyrium-smugglers. To be fair, they were a nuisance- and had not enough sense to leave the Inquisition unmolested.

In his shadowing he concluded a few things, at least.

For one, the Herald was a mage with an affinity for ice. Admittedly Dorian felt stupid for not realising on their first encounter. That sword of light channelled the man's will, swaying him towards close combat. Odd for a mage- so Dorian didn't berate himself much for failing to notice.

Secondly, the man was Spirit-bound. To what sort of spirit and for what purpose, Dorian couldn't guess. He'd only concluded this due to a chance look at his weapon- a summoning circle was inscribed into the hilt. An insanely reckless thing to attempt- unless your will and the spirit's could work in perfect unison.

  We have something in common, at least!

Though Dorian was positive none regarded him as an Abomination.

Lastly, the Herald was unaccustomed to such close work with humans. Dorian rarely overheard conversation but frequently witnessed him seeming lost, needing elaboration on what appeared self-evident.

Overall he was somewhat peculiar, even for an elf.

  “You know...” Dorian mused while building a small fire for the night. “I'm already feeling chipper. It's probably a trick of the mind, since there's potential for a meal...but wouldn't it be funny if my desire was feeding into itself?”

An unamused grumble responded and he frowned at his shadow- slumped morosely against the cave entrance, like a wrung out towel.

  “Yes, yes, I know that's not how it works.” Dorian rebuffed, scowling. “I'm just saying I don't mind all this creeping around! Or I don't mind it yet...give it a while, I suppose...”

  The Herald of Andraste...

  …probably also does not speak to himself.

  “Well I'm not speaking to myself, am I?!” He countered, huffing. “I'm speaking to you!- And you're being especially bratty today!”

Desire slouched down the cliff-wall until it was almost flat.

Dorian spluttered with laughter.

  “You're like a cat, you know!? An ominous, perverted cat.”

The creature bubbled sadly, giving no answer.

Rolling his eyes, Dorian would have returned to working on the fire- except Desire's head emerged from it's puddle, leering down the slope.

  “Hrm...?” He followed it's gaze, squinting. “Something happening down there...?”

A tall figure wandering from camp, accompanied by a much shorter one- the Herald and his dwarf ally.

  “Where are they wandering off to on their own...?” He frowned at his shadow. “Should they really be doing that?”

Desire shrugged, shoulders casting ripples along it's spooled form.

  “For some reason...” Dorian swiped his staff from nearby. “I don't like it. Let's make sure nothing bothers them, yes?”

Maker forbid the elf get himself killed- it would be a waste of his whole week!

The pair strode upon the King's Road, moonlight leading their path and their path leading Dorian- always close behind but not too close. Eventually they paused at a road-marker, muttered between themselves and appeared to wait.

  Are they missing one of their people, or something..?

Regardless of the situation, whatever was meant to occur, didn't. Exchanging anxious stares, the duo walked further along, ignorant to Dorian's presence as he slunk from shadow to shadow.

Within minutes all heard the same thuggish shouting- accented in Ferelden, somewhere amidst an outcrop of limestone. Sprinting forward, the Herald and his companion hunched behind cover, in frantic discussion.

Wanting a full perspective, Dorian climbed ledges as stealthily as possible. Once he had an ideal view, he sat and assessed.

Lyrium-smugglers again, of course. Carta, perhaps? No one Dorian had ties with, whoever they were. More than a dozen- with enough heavies in their ranks to pose serious threat to a miniscule party.

A party of two, for example, would likely be obliterated.

Dorian could see why there was discourse between the Herald and his friend. An Inquisition scout knelt among the group, bleeding and mid-interrogation.

  So they did lose someone...

Now the Herald wished to attempt rescue and his companion reasonably disagreed. Even out of earshot, Dorian could tell who was winning- through pure stubbornness alone.

Glancing behind, he spotted that looming, bratty shadow of his.

  “I hope you're ready to actually work for your meal.”

Not a second passed after his speech before all erupted into chaos. The Herald careened through the group, carried along paves of ice. Flailing and visibly irritated, the dwarf scrambled onto a high-point, where he could launch arrows from some elaborate crossbow.

Skidding from his perch, Dorian leapt into the fray.

Blood had already touched ground- that didn't bode well for anything near him. The grinning skull of his staff raised high, he willed every drop of lost life into himself. It swirled around him in crimson ribbons- he hadn't even channelled a form before people screamed.

  “MALEFICAR!”

Earning a wild, blood-crazed laugh from him as he barrelled forth, slicing enemies with their own pain- weaponised. Anyone struck deep enough and lacking proper resistance became crazed, attacking all in their proximity.

It had been a while since he'd stretched his abilities for combat- quite invigorating, really! Not to mention all the blood- a fair snack, though not his usual preference. Licking some from his fingers, Dorian launched into another attack and found himself brushing passed blizzard.

Swivelling to face it, he bore his teeth in a personable manner.

Winter-touched eyes regarded him quizzically, then vanished into battle.

Moments later and it was done- together with the scout, their enemy was reduced to a pile of corpses.

Inhaling, Dorian glimpsed the dwarf and recruit in breathless conversation. Elsewhere stood the Herald- sheathing his weapon, sighing with relief.

  Talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk.

  Maker, stop it! Yes, I see.

This was the closest opportunity he was chance to get.

Awkwardly, uncharacteristically- Dorian hesitated.

  TALK-TALK-TALK-T

  I SAID STOP THAT! I'M GOING!

Mustering composure, he sauntered that direction, beaming.

  “Greetings, friend!”

The Herald blinked from wiping stained hands, eyes widening a second later.

  “...Who are you?” He mumbled, automatically hunching to Dorian's level- as he'd witnessed many times.

  “Me?”  He laughed airily- had to restrain more when the elf flinched. “My name is Dorian Pavus...and you would be the Herald of Andraste, no?”

Much hesitation from this so-called Herald- the poor man's eyes darted as if seeking attendance, white complexion reddening. Effortless traits for human eyes to see- and then there were aspects only Dorian would see. A quickened pulse, hitched breath, heightened temperature...

  Well, that answers that question...

  But...I really didn't intend to give the poor fool a heart-attack.

He hadn't even exercised his will in any fashion- just introduced himself! The Herald's clan must have been terribly isolationist, if that's all it took to fluster him.

  “That...is what they say...” He managed after a long pause, brow furrowing. “...Have you been following me, Dorian Pavus?”

  Oh, I like that.

  So formal.

  “Only for your own protection, my darling Herald!” He chuckled warmly, gestured to their fallen opponents. “As you can so clearly see.”

Another drawn out silence, pale features struggling to stay that way and failing- pink had spread to his neck.

  “You are from Tevinter.” He observed clumsily.

Dorian's head tilted.

  “Nothing gets passed you, does it?”

The Herald didn't seem to know how to respond, grasping air dumbly and again searching around for aid. Deciding to provide such aid, Dorian inquired;

  “Since I gave you my name- may I have yours?”

Though fidgeting, he offered;

  “Lavellan.”

  “That would be a last name, no?”

  “I do not tend to give my first.”

  “You don't 'tend to'...” He smiled, shamelessly familiar. “So you might make an exception?”

Something about this caught the elf off guard- absolutely flushed. He merely stared as though Dorian proposed he strip to his undergarments.

  “Uhh...hey, there.” The dwarf ambled to them before Lavellan could recover.

  “Ah, hello!” Determined to make a good impression, Dorian stuck out his hand. “Dorian Pavus! Pleased to make your acquaintance!”

The Dwarf relented to a light shake, inspecting him doubtfully.

  “Varric Tethras- pleased to make yours..” He knit his brow, glanced between the two men. “...I guess.”

All the while Lavellan was statuesque, face crimson and attention flying everywhere.

  “...You okay, Lord Heraldness?”

  “I...am fine- I am fine.” He practically squeaked. “I think...Cassandra will wish us back at camp...right now...im...immediately.”

Incapable of restraining himself, Dorian roared with mirth and hoped it didn't sound unkind.

  “We'll talk soon, my dear Herald.” He bid farewell with more obvious warmth. Lavellan swiftly fled- half-marching, half-scurrying, Varric at his heels.

-–

Dirt and blood raced beneath his feet. Evallan Lavellan fought to correct the hue of his face.

  “...Are you okay?” Varric- barely audible above the sound of his heartbeat.

  “I am fine!”  He snapped, shrill. “I just...was not prepared for...for that.”

Varric's expression scrunched inwards, perplexed.

  “Prepared for what?”

Speech died on Evallan's tongue, frowning helplessly at his companion. He barely had the words in his own language, how could he explain with the vocabulary they both shared?

All the human mages he'd encountered- they were so reserved, tame.

He couldn't imagine any human to carry themselves so shamelessly- draped in blood and bone, cackling and grinning through danger. Formidable yet exercising flawless control- so at ease in his nature.

And Mythal have mercy- Those eyes- deadly flares of red and gold.

  Absolutely wild.

  He must be mad.

  “...Oh, Maker's breath, Herald...” Evallan became aware he'd been glaring into space. “Don't worry- I won't tell anyone you took one look at the weirdo-'Vint-blood-mage and turned into a tomato.”

He flushed every shade of red imaginable, snapping-

  “I said I was not prepared!”

  “I wasn't prepared either!” Varric chortled. “And I do not look like you do right now!”

Groaning, Evallan sped his pace, wishing for nothing more than to hide in his tent and scream until humiliation subsided.

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: ch 9 (tom holland fic)

summary: tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: drinking, making out, mentions of sex

word count: 2k

a/n: i had a hard time finishing this one, i wanted it to be longer butttttttttttt here we are, as always texts are bolded

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“Wha- What did you just say?” You asked, looking at Tom. He was staring into your eyes. 

“I dare you,” He said and stood up, walking over to you. “To kiss me.” 

“Tom!” You said and took a step back, almost falling because of how drunk you were. “We’re drunk, that’s a terrible idea.” 

“Why?” He asked. “Who cares if we’re drunk?” 

“Tom, no, I can’t be one of your… one of your-” 

“One of my what?” 

“Your hoes, your conquests! I’m not that type of girl anymore, you can’t sleep with me once and forget about me, I’m your tutor, you have to see me, if we sleep together it’ll just be-”

“Whoa.” Tom said and stepped back. “Who said I wanted to sleep with you?” 

“What?” 

“I dared you to kiss me, Y/N, I never said anything else.” 

“It’s you, Tom, you don’t kiss girls without an ulterior motive, you’re like, the definition of a fuckboy.” 

“Whatever, Y/N, I’ll see you later.” He said with a huff, grabbed his stuff and walked out, slamming the door behind him. 

You collapsed on your floor, hugging your knees. The world was spinning, you had drank too much. You debated texting your group chat, but you couldn’t remember where you put your phone. 

* * *

You woke up on your floor. You were too drunk to make it to your bed last night, despite it being two feet away. 

It was Monday, normally you would be in class right now, but the snow storm gave you guys a snow day. You looked outside to see the snow coming down hard. If it continued like this, you could have another snow day tomorrow, too. 

You heard your phone buzzing and found it under your bed. You had a ton of unread messages, and a new group chat that consisted of you, Isabelle, Ally, Emily, Harrison, Cal, and, you guessed it, Tom. Emily was definitely the culprit, she loved making new group chats. 

snow day gang

Em

i decided we needed a gc

Harrison

I fully support this 

Em

anyway i heard from one of my friends who works for the dean that its almost certain we have a snow day tomorrow too! so what time do you guys wanna start drinking

Cal

whenever works for us, but Isabelle is still asleep

jk shes waking up now

Al

im up

who tf let me drink that much damn

anyone heard from Y/N or tom?

Harrison

tom is in the bed next to me, he came back about 15 minutes after we did and passed out

not sure about Y/N

Iz

she drank more than any of us, shes probs still asleep

Cal

send tom when he wakes up to check on her

Harrison

hes awake but he just left

Cal

to check on Y/N?

Harrison

doubtful.

Cal

dont tell me hes in a bad mood again

Al

you guys do know hes in this chat right?

Em

whatevs what time are we partying

Iz

depends on when Y/N wakes up 

You scrolled through and weren’t surprised that Tom hadn’t answered, or that he was in a bad mood. You turned him down, and he’s definitely not used to girls not wanting to fuck him. You debated ignoring them, but knew if you did that someone would definitely come knocking down your door and you for sure didn’t want that. 

You

yeah come over at like 7

im going back to bed dont txt

You immediately left the group chat and crawled into bed, your body still exhausted from last night. 

* * * 

Isabelle, Ally, and Cal walked in carrying a few bottles of wine and bags of chips. They made themselves comfortable and Ally searched your bookcase for your poker chips. You waited a while, sitting on the floor in a circle as you shuffled the cards. 

10 minutes later the door opened again and Harrison physically pushed Tom into the room, with Emily following closely behind. 

“Y/N,” Emily said sweetly, “Can I talk to you for a second?” You got up quizzically. She gestured to the bathroom, so you went inside only to find Harrison pushing Tom in after. 

“HEY!” You yelled and banged on the door. It couldn’t be locked from the outside, but they had pushed the couch up against the door so you couldn’t get out. 

“We’ll let you out once you’ve stopped being mad at each other.” Harrison said. 

“We like hanging out all together and we aren’t gonna let you two ruin it with your stubbornness!” Emily added on. You sat on the floor, your back against the door. Tom was sitting on the toilet, head in his hands. 

“Do they have to shout, for god's sake, I’m still hungover.” He mumbled. 

“The least you could’ve done was give us some booze,” You said with a bang on the door. 

“You can drink when you’re done fighting.” Emily called back. They then turned the music up loud, which you were kind of grateful for. The bathroom door was thin and if you did end up talking, you didn’t want them overhearing. 

“We should probably-” 

“You hurt my feelings.” He said and looked at you. That was the last thing you were expecting. 

“What did I do to hurt your feelings?” 

“What you said about me being with so many different girls. We’re friends and I wasn’t trying to sleep with you, and it hurt my feelings that you assumed that.” 

“Well you asked to kiss me, so can you blame me for assuming that?!”

“It was a GAME Y/N! Relax, god, why do you take everything so seriously?” 

“I don’t!” 

“Yes, you do! You’re incapable of fucking around, you can’t even kiss someone without turning it into this big thing! You’re not even my type for fucks sake. You take everything so fucking seriously, it’s exhausting being your friend.” You were both standing now, getting closer to each other with every shout. 

“I do not.” You said. 

“Prove it.” He said and that smirk was back on his lips. 

You did the first thing that came to your mind. You kissed him. To prove it meant nothing to you. 

At first he was shocked with what you were doing, but soon he was wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling your body against his and slipping his tongue into your mouth. You felt his hands on your hip bones, pushing your body against the cold tile wall. 

You made out with him for just a few more seconds before grabbing his shoulders, flipping the two of you so he was against the wall, and pulling away. 

“I told you.” You said with a smile, your face still mere inches from him. “See? Meant nothing.”

You turned and pounded on the door saying “Guys! We figured it out, I promise.” A few seconds later the couch was pulled away and you were leaving the room, Tom following you. 

“So did you guys make up?” Emily asked. 

“What?! No!” Tom said defensively. 

“Idiot, she said make up. Yes, we are no longer feuding.” 

Your friends each sent you a look, saying that they knew exactly what must’ve happened in that bathroom that you were hiding. 

“Let’s play some poker.” You said and sat as far away from Tom as you could as Cal dealt the cards. 

* * *

It was late when your friends were leaving. You did indeed have another snow day, which was really nice. Everyone left but Tom. 

“I figured we should actually talk.” Tom said. “Plus I didn’t give Harrison and Emily any time last night and he was real pissed, so if it’s ok, I wanna give them some space.”

“That’s fine.” You said and pulled your legs underneath you. You were sitting on the corner of the couch, with Tom on your bed. “What did you want to talk about?” 

“That kiss, for starters.” 

“That kiss meant nothing, I was just fucking around like you said. No big deal.” You thought you saw a sad look on his face, but you must’ve been imagining it. 

“Good because if you catch feelings for me, we’re gonna have a problem.” He said in his best ‘tough guy’ voice. You laughed. 

“Relax, Holland, you’re the last person on earth I would ever have feelings for.” 

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.” You were silent for a few minutes. “And I’m sorry.” You said breaking the silence. 

“For what?” 

“For what I said last night. That wasn’t fair to you. What you do with women is none of my business, you’re a good friend and that’s all that matters.” You smiled at him. 

“Thanks. You’re forgiven.” He responded.

“Good, or else it would be really awkward having to spend time together while you were sexiled.” He laughed, which made you smile. You loved his laugh, the way his eyes scrunched together and he shook his head from side to side. 

“Should we watch a movie?” You asked. 

“Sure.” He said and patted the bed next to him. 

“Uhm, I’m gonna put on some PJs.” You said, despite being in comfortable clothes. Maybe you wanted to fuck with him, maybe you wanted to seduce him, maybe you just wanted to change. Maybe all of the above. 

You went to your dresser, your back to the bed and Tom. You pulled your sweatshirt off, tossing it to the side. You unclipped your lace bralette and slid it off your arms slowly. You found a tank top and put it on.

You slipped your sweats off, and you had just a pair of boy shorts on underneath. You turned back and saw Tom staring at you. 

You didn’t acknowledge him, you just climbed onto the bed next to him and grabbed the TV remote so you could watch a movie. 

“God, you’re insufferable, Y/N.” 

“What do you mean?” You said innocently as you scrolled through netflix. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.” 

“No I don’t.” 

“That outfit?” 

“What about it? It’s just pajamas. Besides, you said I’m not your type, you really shouldn’t have any problem with it.”

“That doesn’t mean...”

“What?” You asked.  

“I’m still a guy.” He said. 

“Really?” You mocked. 

“Yes, god Y/N, stop being ridiculous.” 

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about.” You said as you picked a chick flick, To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. 

“Fine, Y/L/N.” He said. He pulled his shirt off quickly and you found yourself staring as he flexed his abs. He pulled his gray sweatpants down so they were sitting low on his hips and he ran his hand through his hair. 

“What?” He said, mocking you now. 

You took a deep breath, sticking out your chest as you did so, trying to get back at him. 

“Are you cold?” He asked genuinely a few moments later. You nodded, it was as if he was reading your mind. “Here,” he said and pulled the comforter from underneath you and then threw it over the two of you. 

“You know,” you said after a few minutes. “I’m still a little chilly.” You scooted closer to Tom, who you weren’t previously touching. You leaned on him, putting your leg in between his and your hand on his chest. You let out a little sigh, and you could tell you were driving him crazy. 

His arm was around you now and you felt it travel down your back, resting on your ass. 

“Can’t keep your hands to yourself, Holland?” You teased. 

“Force of habit.” He muttered, but kept his hand where it was. 

You started to feel the alcohol taking over. He was so warm, and so close… 

You put the thought to the back of your mind and tried to focus on the movie. Before you realized it, you were slowly closing your eyes, leaning onto Tom for warmth. You got closer still, your bodies completely entangled, and he didn’t pull away. 

He should’ve pulled away. 

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Happy Famlies

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: This AU is exactly what is sounds like. Everyone gets a happy family. 

Feat. Dadmight, and his sons Izuku and Tenko, Big Bro Dabi with his little bro, Shinson and his Dadzawa.

allmight n inko end up dating and tenko n izu are brothers

dabi and tenko are third year ua herocourse students when izu and the others join

tenko is a soft sunshine boy cause izu rubbed off on him a lot

dabi wants to be an underground hero so he'll never be like his father

todoroki takes the entrance exam so inasa and hitoshi are recommendation students

izuku kills the exam because he starts ua being able to use full cowl 5%, breaking allmights record with a whopping 130 points

because consider dabi, shouto, izu, tenko and hitoshi all singing karaoke together, dabi has a tambourine and tenko is violently shaking maracas

izuku and inko dont know toshi is allmight, but tenko and toshi are terrible liars

the first time toshi meets izuku its just tenko presenting him saying "you gotta give it to him dad"

izu is only 5 n still broken up about having no quirk, toshi says he might just be a late bloomer while tenko nods

toshi sneaks izuku his quirk when he turns 7, izuku wakes up n accidentally punches a hole in the ceiling, he n katsuki make up cause izuku has a bomb ass quirk even if it does break his bones

he and inko just think he was a late bloomer cause his quirk was so strong. tenko and toshi highfive

seven year old izuku walking back into his house like mom i broke both my arms again :(((

katsuki actually helps him work out the flick thing

"it breaks my arms!" "then use less you dumb fuck!" "oh yeah actually thank you"

they’re so used to shouting criticisms while sparring that they still do it after they enter ua

when they spar at the sports festival mic can’t get a word of commentary in bc it’s just a constant slew of

“kACCHAN I TOLD U TO STOP LEADING WITH UR RIGHT”

“SHIITY DEKU IF U LAND LIKE THAT UR GONNA BREAK UR LEGS”

dabi n tenko the third years can hear them in their own stadium. tenko is cheering softly, dabi has a heart attack when he sees the walls of ice

izu has a massive handshapped scar on his wrist from when tenko saved him by pulling him out of the way of a car

he doesnt mind it but it makes tenko sad so he wears a lil cuff over it

tenko snuck in to watch the entrance exam he n toshinori are cheering quietly, the other teachers just sigh

izuku broke allmights record for points scored in the entrance exam but hes still scared he failed

tenko wants to s c r e a m

USJ ANGST TIME

starts as normal students enter, villains arrive kurogiri has an ear piece and is talking with afo directly, some of the 8 prefects goons are there too

hitoshi used his quirk on kurogiri to find out who they are, but is targeted after that and the villains know not to respond

the students are scattered, its izu/tsuyu and hitoshi. they do the whirlpool thing w/o the sitcking, hitoshi instructs them to tread water and not to move

hitoshi is nearing quirk overuse, tsuyu is shaken, izu is pretty much ok

aizawa is fighting the villains as normal, the nomu arrives

hitoshi tries to mind control the nomu, kurogiri attempts to direct one of the nomus punches to hitoshi, aizawa cancels the portal, severing one of the nomus arms. its grows back, aizawa is beaten

izuku charges forward, fighting the nomu with a higher percentage of full cowl than he can safely use but they are evenly matched

todoroki shows up, cant help because the two are moving so fast he cant aim his quirk and not hit mido

he and hitoshi keep kurogiri busy

before allmight arrives, dabi and tenko do, after seeing tenya running towards the school

izuku can barely move, over using his quirk to the point that he has countless micro fractures and the nomu has landed a few punches, and he took others to protect aizawa

tenko yells at dabi to grab izuku, kurogiri mentions that his master killed tenkos family and hes pissed

he cant stand up to the nomu but shouto makes an opening and he and dabi try to damage it as best they can, shouto has to hold izuku down to stop him from joining the fight again

allmight arrives, quickly dispatches the nomu, turns on Kurogiri

so tenko, allmight and a shaky izu are all facing down kurogiri while afo is trying to convince him to keep fighting

reinforcements arrive and kuro nopes out

as soon as the portal closes, izuku collapses and tenko n allmight rush over, shouto is grabbing onto dabi and hitoshi is trying to get aizawa to respond

hitoshi, crying, has to ask dabi to pick up his dad because his arms are shaking to bad hes scared he might drop him

tenko has no gloves anymore and he cant touch izuku and hes just lost, shouto wraps an arm around him and hitoshi n they cry as dabi takes aizawa and allmight takes izuku to recovery girl

aizawa n izu in the same hospital, hitoshi tells him what izuku did n aizawa fucking, breaks out of bed like a jackass to call him a problem child then fucking limps back

less depressingly, happy families dabi and tenko do "get help" from Thor Ragnarok

"gET heLP hEs BUrnINg UP"

aizawa : "kids that movie is like 240 years old"

izuku : "so... you know it then?"

aizawa: "fuck"

nighteye and gran torino are izuku and tenko's terrible uncles

he stars school at 5%, internships is 10%, camp gets him up to 15% so hes around 25% at the eri rescue

ochako being a terrible influence on kirishima

“uraraka i like katsuki. what do”

“push it down”

“what”

“pUSH UR FEELINGS Down”

also happy families shouto actually interns w nighteye n izu because dabi said he was an ass so no death thanks

one person asks izuku what his quirk is

he pauses

"aaaaaaaaaa"

"hm"

"my mum has minor levitation and my dad is quirkless"

izuku pauses again.

"wait"

"wait im not toshis biologically"

"waiT Who WAs My FirST Dad?"

shouto thinks inko has an affair w allmight then married his secretary but izuku met toshinori through tenko so he just lays down on the floor and screams

shouto’s brain is going to explode one day

consider tenko and izuku looking soft and pure but you turn around and suddenly you dont have a wallet and your food is gone

happy family izuku and kastuki were eachothers first kiss but in a dumb ass way

izuku was like "i need to ruin my frist kiss so the next one will be better"

"wow me too, you seem like the worlds worst option!"

"cool!"

they both almost gagged afterwards

tenko walked in on them violently scrubbing their lips

“wow katsuki who was ur first kiss”

bakugou stares off fondly into the distance

“deku :))”

"it was fucking terrible" wistful sigh

izuku, blushing happily: “id never do it again”

izuku: "yeah i scrubbed my face until it bleed so none of my skin would be tainted"

first week of 1a, someone asking izuku if he and katsuki are/were dating so izuku asks ochako to launch him into the sun

no matter how many people they date everyone always insists that katsuki and izuku are dating each other

izuku is actually dating shouto but no one believes him for some reason

dabi and hitoshi find it so funny

please consider dabi being the frontrunner of these rumours, like these random first years will come up to izuku while he’s eating lunch with shouto and they’ll be in t e a r s

“wHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON BAKUGOU SENPAI?”

izuku starts crying

shouto, totally deadpan: "i thought our love was real, izu-chan"

izuku wheezes

they have a katsudeku fan club and shouto’s the mascot

dabi is in it. hes a full hero at this point but nezu gave him a pass so he could attend

they have weekly meetings

it’s dabi, shouto, kirishima and like twenty first year girls from every class

shouto, in a deadpan voice: “good morning girls today i saw katsuki and izuku sharing bread. discuss”

kirishima is one of the most popular fanartists

tenko loves the meme but looking at his brother and bakugo “dating” makes him deeply upset so he breaks in to decay all the art on the walls once a week

he crowds shouto in tears one day

“how are you okay with your boyfriend and your classmate being the subjects of such horrid art”

shouto, deadpan: “it’s just a prank bro”

izuku falls asleep in the common room and toshi carries him back to his room and has to call tenko to unlock the door for him. tenko was in his own dorm on the other side of school.

he sprinted

iida the good boy finishes his essays the week before and hands them in a day early

izuku, the hot mess, procrastinates by training until he cant feel his arms and doing any other subject work than the stuff due, stays up till 4am to finish his essay and doesnt go back to sleep cause its time for his morning run

they get the same grades

no one knows izuku is a hot mess

Dabi is like izuku but he doesnt study hes just depressed

Tenko finishes his the day before but he gets izuku to read it over

shouto does his essays in class

aizawa wants to be mad but he remembers him mic n tensei distracting the teachers for as long as they can to violently finish their essays

“katsuki why didn’t you finish your essay”

“i was making oreos from scratch sensei”

"fair, give me some and you can hand in it wednesday"

he bribes every single teacher into giving him extensions and no one can refuse him bc his extra spicy curry is to die for. he maybe sometimes he helps deku get an extension too but if he does that’s no one else’s business but his

izuku acts so soft w the others "oh isnt kacchans food so good? "

but he climbs into through katsukis window

"bitch whats the recipe"

izuku banging on katsuki s window at five in the morning: “kacchan give me ur fucking curry recipe you promised it to me three years ago”

bakugos hands shake as he tries to call aizawa

“i see u calling sensei kacchan, put the phone down and no one gets hurt”

he has one of katsukis limited editing all might figurines in his hand

“give me the recipe and all might lives katsuki. it doesn’t have to end this way”

shouji, stressed and sleep deprived walks into bakugou’s room just to see izuku menacingly trying to force his way in while bakugou is crying

[hangjie]

far from home. [ peter parker ]

anonymous: can you do peter parker, where they’re at europe and they go out on a cute little date then he leaves her but she finds out he’s spiderman?

summary: reader and peter are on vacation and decide to go on a little date, which ended up in tears, anger, heartbreak, and spiderman?

warnings: a teeny tiny bit of swearing

word count: 1,487

author’s note: IM SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG, ANON HDJSHDHS also, i kinda changed it a bit but not that much huhu this literally sucks i cannot HAHAHAHAAHAHHA i haven’t been on a date before sis lmao ;(

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

i sigh in satisfaction, a smile linering on my lips as i look around the buzzing carnival. the colorful lights, the laughter and calming yet loud noise of the people around us, the exhilarating feeling you get when you see the rides filled with people, the smell of hotdogs, cotton candy, and popcorn making my mouth water.

“isn’t this wonderful, pete?” peter nods and smiles, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “sure is, (y/n).”

although we were at europe and we can literally go to fancy restaurants and places, we decided to just go to the carnival because it’s simple and enjoyable. plus, what do you expect out of two broke high school students?

we continue walking around the carnival, going on rides, playing some games (totally recking peter in some of them), and eating the mouth watering food.

i take a bite of the pink fluffy cotton candy peter bought for me and my taste buds are immediately filled with the sweet taste, the cotton candy melting in my mouth.

i look over at peter, who was going to take a bite of his hotdog until i bite the end of his food. he retracts and frowns at me as i chuckle, mouth full of food.

“hey, no fair! you have your own food!” he complains, pouting.

“what? i’m hungry, pete!” peter sighs and shakes his head, a small smile playing on his lips.

“then let’s get some food in you then—“

i gasp out loud, pointing ahead of me. “peter, let’s go on the ferris wheel!”

right before peter could answer me, his watch beeps, turning his attention to his watch and looking up with a worried and reluctant expression. his face goes pale and sweat begins to roll down from his temple to the side of his face.

“pete? what’s wrong, babe?” i ask, playing with the front of his hair in comfort. he takes my hands and kisses my knuckles before quietly saying, “everything’s fine. don’t worry about me.” i raise an eyebrow at him, but he ignores it and chuckles, kissing the top of my head.

“hey, why don’t you save us a spot in the line of the ferris wheel? i need to go to the bathroom really quick.” i nod my head and give him a small peck before i approach the line of the ferris wheel and peter, to the toilets.

surprisingly, the line wasn’t really long and i only had to wait for about several minutes before i was two people away from the front. peter still hasn’t come back from the toilet and i was starting to get worried.

come down, (y/n). maybe he just couldn’t find you and will join you when it’s your turn.

“next!” the two people in front of me go inside one booth, making me the first in line. the man securing the front motions and grumbles for me to get in the vacant booth.

“i’m sorry, but i’m waiting for someone.”

“then too bad on them, kid. there’s other people waiting for their turn!” i sigh and hesitantly enter the booth alone.

i tuck my chin on top of my palm as the booth goes higher and higher until it reaches the very top. there was nothing but silence and my mind asking, ‘where is peter?’

——-

i pull my jacket close to me as i walk through the empty and quiet streets and the cold dark night. i rub my hands together to try to get some heat, but alas none. i, instead, cross my arms across my chest and tuck my hands in my jacket.

peter ditched me.

i cannot believe that my boyfriend of a year and a half ditched me in the middle of our date . . . in europe!

he better have a good excuse for this.

as i continue walking, i begin to hear faint footsteps behind me. i turn around and see a hooded figure walking behind me. i didn’t think much of it, but red flags start to raise in my mind and i make sure to be alert in case this man tries to do anything.

i turn my attention back towards my front and my blood runs cold when there are two more hooded figures. they were walking towards my direction and when i tried to move away from the path, they followed my steps.

i look around to see if there were other people or if there were any cars around, but none. i start to panic, praying to God that they don’t murder me and sell my organs online.

i’m so dead.

i continue to walk as if nothing’s happening and that everything is okay. i take a deep breath before i dash to the alleyway on my right, leaving the hooded men on the sidewalk.

i run as fast as my body could take me, feeling my lungs burn inside my chest. i hear heavy footsteps running after me and i try to run farther away from them, but at the end of the alley, i am met with a dead end.

i curse to myself and try to find another way, any way, but none. i turn around and see the men slowing to a jog. they slowly approach me, deep chuckles escaping their throats at the sight of helpless and defenseless me.

“you taught you could run away from us, little girl?” one says, looking down at me with an evil smirk. “please don’t hurt me! i’ll give you anything you want!” i plead, tears threatening to fall. “money? my phone? my jewelry? anything!”

the men chuckle and say, “that won’t be necessary,” before taking a step towards me, ready to attack.

this is it. this is the end.

right before one of the men can lay their finger on me, a loud thup! echoes throughout the alleyway and right before the men could turn around to see what it was, something sticks on the hand of the man and it looks like . . . spider web?

the man is suddenly pulled backward and on to the wall, alerting his two companions. as they were distracted, i manage to slip pass them and hide behind some empty trash cans.

i do not dare look up from my spot, in fear that i might be seen by the men, but i could hear the sounds of groans, punching, kicking, and bodies being thrown.

after some time, the air goes quiet, making my breath hitch in my throat. i debate whether or not to look up from my hiding spot until i hear a soft voice say, “miss, are you okay?”

i look up and i see . . . spiderman?

i suddenly feel light headed and dizzy, my vision starts to blur and spin until i feel myself drop to the ground and i hear a “holy shit!” from the masked hero.

——-

when i finally regained consciousness, i quietly groan at the aching feeling of my head as i sit up, rubbing my eyes. i look around and notice that i was back in my hotel room and that i wasn’t the only one in the room.

the hunched figure wearing black, red, and black sits on a chair at the end of my bed with his back facing me. i notice that he has his mask off since i can see the lightly tanned skin and fluffy brown hair of the hero.

“oh god, what do i tell her?” he asks himself. “first, i ditched her at our date and now, i saved her from a bunch of guys at an alleyway.” he groans. “what do i tell her in the morning?”

wait a minute.

‘ditched her at our date’?

“peter?” i ask in disbelief, making him turn around and indeed it is my boyfriend wearing spiderman’s suit. peter looks at me with wide eyes and he opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

“you’re spiderman?”

“(y/n), i-i can explain.”

i hold my hand up and peter stops talking, looking down at the ground in disappointment.

“is spiderman the reason why you had to ditch me on our date earlier?” peter slowly nods his head, not meeting my eyes like a child being scolded by their mother.

i sigh and quietly say, “come here,” making peter look up. when he notices my open arms, he immediately rushes to me and hugs me tightly.

“i’m so sorry, (y/n). i should’ve told you earlier,” he says against my neck. he continues to apologize and i shush him.

“shush, let’s just cuddle, okay?”

a small smile appears on peter’s face and he climbs into bed. he begins to tell me all about his crime fighting adventures and his life as a vigilante.

my eyes begin to droop and right before i fell asleep, i feel a soft kiss on my forehead and a quiet ‘i love you’ from peter.

MASTERLIST

[adrienaline-rushed-art]

Can you do Marinette for next character ask/ml sugar pls?

Why I like them: Despite being immature in many ways— I guess by that, I mean her obsessive behavior, but really guys… she *just* turned 14. You know who else is 14? 1D fanfic writers (but more on that later)— in other ways, she’s more mature than adults. First, she’s self-aware, and she’s willing to take responsibility/humble herself when the time comes. Even though a lot of this is because Tikki guides her, it means a lot that she actually listens. I know so many adults that would rather be petty. 

And when I say self-aware I mean a lot of things. For one, she understands when she’s doing something… mm… not so great. Many of these things are for comic relief/exaggeration/situational comedy/slapstick (which is pretty much the extent small children get from it), but it’s still evident that she feels guilty or hesitant. 

does that look like the face of someone who’s comfortable with her own actions? 

Kids who watch heroes look for (and need) confidence and justice. Neither of which are happening in this scene or in some others, and from the kids that I know… they’re totally aware of it. Some might blatantly shout at Marinette as they watch her do something wrong, others might not say anything but… trust me they aren’t taking notes. 

The thing is, I’m glad she’s a main female character… who screws up…. a loT. The hero isn’t supposed to be perfect, and I mean that in a general way. Flat villains are perfect in their own realm, so I don’t think imperfect characters are only better for writing, they’re better people or can become better people. A perfect individual is a comfortable and consistent one, a person needs ups and downs to improve. 

It’s a bit like kim possible, except Marinette commits more errors because she’s younger and less adventurous… so in a way she’s a bit naive to the world (Kim Possible may as well be an ambassador, so she’s cultured and still makes really cringey mistakes eyes the wheelchair episode). We grew up watching her make these mistakes so we could see them get fixed, if they never happened we wouldn’t know for better or for worse. What’s more, it’s most important coming from the main character. So… I’m proud of her. 

Another thing is that she watches her own behavior in the future. She’s learning to trust that Adrien won’t fall for Lila’s gags, she’s learning to talk to him and move away from being a fan (bluntly pointed out in Troublemaker, she actually sees herself as more of a fan than as a friend. Yes, she was lying to cover herself, but she had pictures of all of her friends up… she didn’t use friendship as an excuse? And why did the excuse come to her so naturally? It might be obvious, but she gets flustered and doesn’t come up with good lies… honestly ‘because im a fan’ is pretty fair), and she’s learning how to treat Chat Noir. 

I would almost say in Season 1 that Ladybug was pretty flippant to Chat Noir, and I know it was cute at times but people usually behave this way with someone they feel close to already… so why didn’t she ever take the time to take him seriously? Ever since Glaciator, Ladybug has learned how sensitive he is. She didn’t judge him so quickly as to assume that he felt entitled to her, or that he was throwing a simple/unimportant tantrum that could be shrugged off. She took the time to read into the situation and see what exactly was going through his head. Emotions are never a joke, especially in a city where someone like Hawkmoth is a concern. She was cool and collected like a therapist, especially because she sympathized where his feelings were coming from (not too long before she had gotten upset with some ice cream man that was just doing his everyday thing and ditched her friends because she felt hopeless and betrayed by Adrien). Granted she never said anything against him, but she didn’t get forced into a situation where she had to confront him either. 

She also knew that reacting harshly would only make things worse, and then neither of them would get off from their high-horse. Compassion is what gets a person to reflect and feel respected. She looked him sincerely in the eyes and apologized, and she expected the same from him. She set the stage, and he responded. They ended up fine, and he even reacted well to the infamous ‘friendzone’, because well… he treasures friends too, and he didn’t know Ladybug considered him to be one. Ladybug was surprised, but now that she knew he had felt abandoned not only that night but since the beginning, she took note that he has trouble reading when a person cares about him deeply (and we all know he does, his love receptors are broken both in his household and as seen in the most recent ep). 

She is much softer with him now but very explicit. She doesn’t beat around the bush, she tells him exactly what he needs to hear. 

“Chat Noir! You know you’re irreplaceable.” 

Look at that face, he knows now that you said it. 

It’s actually quite motherly… I mean this is a perfect response. She adjusts to the needs of her friends accordingly rather than treating them equally, because friends don’t always need the same thing. Equity over equality. She’s an excellent example and so much more than the “Huff… I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t care about men and if anyone ever sasses me I’ll choke them. Also I don’t paint my nails, that’s for babies” You can be strong and independent without sacrificing any of these things. It’s not about making enemies, it’s about standing up for yourself— and those you care about. 

I could look for so many examples of how she looks out for her friends and makes sure to mind their feelings and experiences before getting all defensive, but that would be… the entire show. 

She’s imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect. 

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Zombisou... and maybe Chameleon and Oniichan. She was angry about so many different things and had so much pressure on herself— including the fact that in each of these she had to protect/comfort/defend someone anyone else in their right mind would rather spit on. But Marinette is noble, she knows how to keep herself together when she needs to. When it comes down to it, the people she’s so angry with are human too. They have hearts with burdens of their own that she doesn’t even know about, if something were to happen to them she would care. She has the responsibility to keep them safe, but also she wants to. There’s a difference between a pain in the ass and a monster, and besides she isn’t the judge of the universe, it’s not her place to decide what someone gets and doesn’t get. Maybe they aren’t getting everything they deserve, but if every human being got what they deserved we’d all be struck dead by lightning. 

And she certainly doesn’t wish death upon them. And as we’ve all noted, whether it’s seen publically or not... what goes around comes around. 

Favorite season/movie: Season 2 wins again... for now, it aint over yet

Favorite line: Uhh... dang it this again... how about the one above? “You know you’re irreplaceable?” and every other uwu line she has. She is so soft hhuhhggn 

Favorite outfit: The cute lil maid outfit from Animaestro

OTP: Well it’s the same as what I put for Adrien, Marichat. For noncanon... mmm.. I think Kagaminette but Ninette is p damn close 

Brotp: I mean??? ALyanette duh. But you know since right now Ladynoir is technically platonic.... they’re pretty lit as bros too (marichat is too but so far fanon is the only place they’ve truly become bro bros) 

Headcanon: She wouldn’t have all of those pictures of Adrien if she felt even remotely close to him. I think those fics where she has photos up of Chat Noir should be canon, just like how she has ones of her friends, but she has soo many of Adrien which sets him apart from friendship like I said before. She’s insecure and taking advantage of the fact that he’s famous af, none of us can truly relate to having access to so many amazing photos of our crushes... and to sort of continue with the next question..

Unpopular opinion: These days a phone’s photobook may as well be a private wall to hang pictures on so really... Marinette is an exaggeration of exactly what people do— mostly young girls, which she happens to be— and hey get off of your crushes Instagram while you’re at it. It’s actually pretty normal, it’s not the best behavior but again, you need to have that cringey low to climb higher. And anyhow it’s all for the joke of it, no one is supposed to take these things seriously. But I’ll let you all know when my younger cousins start hanging up stalker photos of their noncelebrity crushes “because marinette did it so it must be ok” 

Honestly, not even the borderline ooc things are that bad. Like... they’re bad... but it’s a good thing to show, as in it’s not too horrendous to use as an example. It works because it’s so unrealistic, but with very real behaviors that kids need to address in themselves by watching Marinette. I would say some of her actions straddle between IC and OOC, not either-or. 

(WARNING: Do not read on if you have intensely strong feelings toward L/u/k/a to the point of sensitivity over any mild criticism as a character or as he is written. If you’re pretty chill reading anything then you’re fine, I didn’t say anything cruel I only gave an opinion as mildly as I could. The point of the honest opinion section is not to be salty but to express my point of view without insults)

Her crush on Adrien at this point in time is no more or less unhealthy than her crush with L/u/k/a— which is still unclear because for some reason In Silencer she still looked like she was on the brink of deciding she had a crush. She’s kind to L/u/k/a and he’s kind back, but she isn’t very nice. The difference is that it’s not very nice to ask someone on a date to spy on your main crush, it’s not very nice to indulge in the affection someone gives you as a chew toy while you wait for your crush and try avoiding the guy who is deeply in love with you and you sorta like him too. (He fell for her incredibly quickly and she did too despite feeling insulted by him moments before, unfortunately he’s a fallback she feels almost nothing for and she’s directing her ‘oh-no-feelings-for-someone-who-isnt-adrien’ chat noir attack to l/u/k/a because with him, she knows its easily uprooted).This goes back to the importance of not always being at your best behavior for a child audience to learn from you, but my unpopular opinion is that she and Adrien are not toxic and she and l/u/k/a are not a godsend. He’s also the equivalent of a High school sophomore dating an 8th grader? So... it’s kinda weird that he’s advancing? (I censored his name for the sake of avoiding conflict, I’m stating this for the unpopular opinion and I said it in as straight as I could because I don’t want salt to touch this. I respect L/u/k/a as a character, he’s a good boy. I’m disagreeing and agreeing to disagree by trying not to engage.) 

Wish: Please, let her find out Chat Noir’s identity first... I beg you. 

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Except don’t let the reveal happen right after one of them is rejected... that... that would be really bad. 

5 words to best describe them: Noble, responsible, creative, strong, kind

 My nickname for them: I like Marigold and Shortcake, I’ve used them in fics and I cry

anyway she’s one of the best protags don’t @ me when I have kids they’ll be watching her and adrien and they will be who they’re raised on

[elizabethwatson1895]

Do You Know the Way to Santa Fe?

This was originally posted as part of the newsies fic contest run by @suddenly-im-respecsable, and placed second. (Thank you to those who voted for it!)

Word Count: 3381

Summary: Jack convinces Davey to join him and a bunch of the boys on a road trip to Santa Fe over spring break. Chaos ensues.

Warnings: None. Maybe lack of seatbelt wearing?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Davey, pack your bags!” Jack announced, bursting through the Jacobs’ door. “We’re going to Santa Fe!”

“Do what now?” Davey asked, poking his head out of his bedroom door.

“Pack your bags! We’re going on a road trip!” Jack exclaimed, plopping down on the couch. 

Davey closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head. 

“Jack,” he started, walking out of his room toward his best friend. “We can’t just… go to Santa Fe.”

“And why not?” Jack asked, bouncing on the couch.

“Because...because of a lot of reasons,” Davey said, crossing his arms.

“Oh yeah?” Jack asked, leaning forward. “Like what?”

“Like...school,” Davey said. 

Jack laughed. “Davey. It’s spring break. We don’t have school.” 

Davey frowned. “Okay, but how would we get there?”

“We’ll drive!” Jack said, standing. “Me and you, we’ll trade off.” He clapped Davey on the shoulder. “Come on, Davey! It’ll be fun!”

“Jack,” Davey said, “we don’t have enough time to drive there and back.”

“Sure we do!” Jack exclaimed. “We got a whole week! And ‘sides, I looked on Google and it’ll only take like a little over a day to drive there.”

“Yeah, if we don’t stop, which is super dangerous, Jack!” Davey shot back, shaking his head. 

“Ah, come on, Dave!” Jack said, pouting a little. “All the guys wanna.”

“Oh, all the guys?” Davey asked, crossing his arms. “How many people are going on this trip?”

“Not that many,” Jack said, clearly sensing danger. “So far just me and Crutchie for sure. But Race wants to, and if Race goes, Albert will. Hopefully you. Maybe a few more.”

“Jack…” Davey said, narrowing his eyes. “My van has seven spots. No more than seven.”

“Does that mean you’ll go?” Jack asked, his eyes lighting up.

“If-” Davey said, interrupting him. “If we plan everything, and we’ll take turns driving, and no more than seven people.”

“Right,” Jack said, fidgeting. “Me and you and no more than seven.”

“No more than seven, including me and you,” Davey clarified, glaring at Jack.

“Yeah, ain’t that what I said?” Jack replied innocently.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Davey said, giving up. “When are we leaving?”

-------

A few hours later, Davey pulled up outside Jack’s house.

Jack came running out, carrying a backpack. Crutchie followed behind him more slowly, a duffel bag slung over his shoulder.

“Hiya, Davey!” Jack said, throwing his backpack in the trunk.

“Hey, Jack,” Davey said, smiling at him. “Where are we headed first?”

 “How about I drive while we’se picking everyone up?” Jack suggested, leaning on Davey’s door. “Seeing how I’m the one that organized everything.”

“Alright,” Davey said, climbing out of the driver’s seat. Jack playfully punched him on the shoulder.

“You’re the best, you know that, Davey?” Jack said.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Davey said.

“I call shotgun!” Crutchie cried, already opening the passenger door.

“S’only fair,” Jack agreed, and Davey nodded, climbing into the seat behind Jack’s.

“Who all are we picking up?” Davey asked, buckling his seatbelt.

“We’re picking Race and Albert up first,” Jack said, not meeting Davey’s eyes.

“And then?” Davey asked.

“And….then we’ll pick up the rest of the guys,” Jack said, shrugging.

“Uh-huh,” Davey said.

“This is gonna be so much fun!” Crutchie said, buckling his seatbelt as well.

Jack started the car, backing out of their driveway. Davey glanced at Jack’s unused seatbelt.

“Jack…” Davey started.

“What?” Jack asked, twisting around to look at him. Davey looked from Jack, to where his seatbelt hung uselessly, and back to Jack again. “Oh, right,” Jack said, quickly buckling it without argument.

Before long, Race and Albert appeared in the distance. Upon spotting the van, both boys started jumping up and down and waving at them. Jack pulled over next to them.

“Road trip!” Race yelled, catapulting into the backseat.

Albert swung open Davey’s door. “Road trip!” he repeated, climbing over top of Davey into the backseat.

Davey grimaced. “Al, there’s an open seat literally on the other side,” he pointed out. Albert just shrugged.

“It’s faster,” he said.

“Do you guys have everything you need?” Davey asked, turning to look at them. 

“Aw yeah, all the essentials right here,” Race said, patting his backpack. “Hot Cheetos, Mountain Dew, toothbrush, and all my money.”

“Don’t you need a change of clothes or something?” Davey asked, frowning.

“Nah,” Race replied. “Who needs that?”

Davey closed his eyes for a moment, before turning to Albert. “What about you? Where’s your stuff?”

Albert started emptying his pockets. “I got my wallet, my phone, a pair of underwear, and….” he dug around a little, before triumphantly holding up a slightly smashed pack of gum. “Gum!”

“You can’t just-” Davey started, before stopping himself. “I give up.”

“So, are we good to go?” Jack asked. 

“LET’S GO!” Race yelled back.

“Road trip!” Albert yelled too.

“That’s gonna get old really fast,” Davey said.

“Where to now?” Jack asked. Crutchie consulted a list.

“We’re picking up a bunch of the guys at Specs’s place,” he replied.

“On it,” Jack said. 

“Ninety-nine bottles of Mountain Dew on the wall!” Race and Albert started. Crutchie bobbed his head along to their song.

As they pulled up to the curb next to Specs’s place, Davey narrowed his eyes at the number of boys standing around waiting. Specs, Romeo, Finch, Elmer. Four people. He counted again, before glancing around the minivan to make sure he wasn’t wrong. Two seats open.

“Jack…” Davey said slowly. 

“Yeah, Davey?” Jack said lightly, as Elmer opened the door, crawling into the backseat.

“We don’t have room for all of them,” Davey said warningly. Specs opened the trunk, carefully placing his duffel bag inside.

“Aw, sure we does!” Race piped up. Davey shot him a look over his shoulder, while Specs settled into the seat next to Davey.

“No, we don’t,” he said. “Jack, please tell me you’re not…”

Jack purposely did not meet Davey’s eyes.

“What up!” Romeo crowed, climbing over Specs into the backseat.

“Jack, look at me,” Davey said firmly. Jack whined, and looked into the rearview mirror. “We cannot fit anyone more.”

“Come on, Davey,” Jack protested. “How do ya expect me to choose who gets to come? ‘Sides, they’re all already in here.”

Davey looked over, and sure enough, Finch had perched himself on top of the box of food in the aisle. Elmer and Romeo waved from the backseat.

“Why stop at this?” Davey asked. “There’s still plenty of room, isn’t there? I’m sure we could fit someone in the trunk.”

“Davey, don’t be ridiculous,” Jack said, unbuckling his seatbelt and spinning to make direct eye contact with Davey.

Davey leveled his most disapproving glare at him. Jack flinched, but kept his puppy-eyes fixed on Davey.

“Davey,” Jack pleaded. “It’ll be fun.”

“Jack, it isn’t safe.”

“Technically, you can’t stop me….” Jack pointed out. “I am driving.”

“Is THAT why you wanted to drive first?” Davey said, rubbing his forehead.

Jack pushed a hand through his hair guiltily.

“Fine,” Davey said, sitting back in his seat. “I give up. You win. It’s not like I can stop you.”

“Did I hear a…..ROAD TRIP!” Race shouted from the backseat, setting off a chorus of “Road trip!” from the rest of the backseat.

Jack put the car back in drive and started down the road. He glanced in the rearview mirror, trying to catch Davey’s eyes, but Davey refused to look up at him. Jack sighed and turned back to the road. 

They had barely made it three blocks before Davey looked up.

“Hey Jack?” he said.

“Yeah?” Jack said, glancing back at him.

“Put your seatbelt on.”

Jack grinned at Davey, and buckled it in one smooth motion.

Davey smiled in spite of himself.

-----

Two hours passed before they hit the first snag. They’d made it out of New York and were somewhere in Pennsylvania. Davey was studying the map Race had dug out of Jack’s backpack. 

“Hey, Jack?” Race said hesitantly from the backseat. Davey turned to look at him.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Jack asked. Race sheepishly held up an empty bottle of pop.

“I gotta pee.”

“Can’t you hold it or somethin’?” Jack asked. “We don’t need gas for a few more hours, and the less we have to stop the better.”

“No, I REALLY needs to go,” Race insisted. 

Jack sighed. “Let me find an exit. Dave, help me look?”

“Yeah, I’m looking,” Davey said, squinting at the map. “There should be one in a few miles.”

Meanwhile, Race was bouncing up and down in the backseat.

“Hey, Race,” Albert said, an evil twinkle in his eye. “Think about waterfalls. Lakes. Rain.”

“La la la la la I can’t hear you!” Race said, sticking his fingers in his ears.

“Dripping faucets, rivers, oc-” Romeo slapped his hand over Albert’s mouth.

“Dude. We’re all crammed in the backseat here. Race is practically on both of our laps. If he pees himself, it’s gonna be so gross.” Romeo shuddered at the thought.

Albert just glared at Romeo.

“Ahh!” Romeo said, jerking his hand away from Albert. “He licked me!” 

Albert laughed. “Serves you right.” 

“Take this exit, Jack,” Davey said, leaning forward.

Jack veered suddenly into the exit lane. Davey gripped the door handle to anchor himself.

“Why do you do that?” Elmer asked curiously.

“Do what?” Davey asked, peering out the window for a gas station.

“Grab the door like that.”

“Oh, that,” Jack said, shaking his head. “He does that every time I turn. It ain’t like it’ll do you any good if we crash. Drives me nuts, ‘specially when he’s shotgun. It’s like you don’t trust my driving or somethin’.” Jack shook his head. “Hurts my feelings, Dave.”

Davey playfully punched Jack in the shoulder. “It’s not that. It’s just instinct. You turn too tight.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jack said. “Oh, hey, gas station!” He turned suddenly into the driveway, and Davey grabbed at the door.

“I swear to god, Dave,” Jack said.

“You can’t even see me!” Davey protested as Jack shut off the minivan.

“But I can feel it. In my heart.” 

Davey rolled his eyes and opened his door. Race climbed overtop of him, scrambling out of the van and running straight inside.

“Who’s all getting out?” Crutchie asked. 

“Everyone,” Jack said. “We are not stopping again until we need gas again.”

The other boys in the back grumbled, but crawled out of the backseat.

Davey stretched as he walked inside. Race had claimed the single person bathroom, so the other boys all stood in line waiting. 

“Race, hurry up!” Albert called, pounding on the door. “Get a move on, ya little-”

Race opened the door, a bright smile on his face. “Much better,” he announced, before darting off towards the candy aisle.

Before long, most of the boys had recongregated around the van.

“Want me to drive, Jack?” Davey asked. Jack shook his head.

“Nah, I can drive until the next gas stop.”

“You sure?” 

Jack nodded.

“Hey, can I drive?” Albert piped up.

“You are not driving my car,” Davey said.

“Absolutely not,” Jack said at the same moment, whacking Albert.

“Come on! I’ve only crashed like three times, and they’s all been Race’s fault,” Albert complained.

Jack raised one eyebrow, and Albert sighed.

“You guys is no fun.”

Jack climbed in the front seat, starting the car. Davey stood outside, waiting for Race who was last. Finally, he appeared, carrying a pile of candy and a six-pack of Mountain Dew bottles.

Davey just looked at him. Race stared right back at Davey. “I regret nothing,” he said, as if he was challenging Davey to say something.

Davey just shook his head. “Get in the van, Race.”

-----

“Wait, was that our exit?” Crutchie said, watching it disappear into the distance

Davey whipped his head around, staring at the offending sign. “Yeah, yeah it was,” he sighed. 

“Oh, shoot, you’re right,” Specs agreed, staring at the map. 

“Now what are we going to do? That exit was the only one that won’t take us miles out of our way,” Davey said, frowning.

“Don’t worry!” Jack piped up. “That’s just plan A.”

“Oh yeah?” Davey said. “Then, what exactly is plan B?”

“This!” Jack said, taking a sudden left turn. “Lefting!”

“LEFTAROO!” Race chimed in from the backseat. Davey buried his head in his hands.

“What do you got for me, Specs?” Jack asked.

Specs adjusted his glasses. “That actually wasn’t the worst turn. We’ll just take this route, take a few back roads, and get back onto our road. It’ll only add like twenty minutes.”

“Perfect!” Jack said. They drove in relative silence for a few minutes.

“Uh, guys?” Jack said suddenly.

“What now?” Davey asked.

“We’re low on gas.”

“Onto plan C?” Crutchie offered.

-----

Davey was almost relieved when it was his turn to drive. That relief didn’t last long, though, before he remembered how terrible of a backseat driver Jack was. 

“Davey, Davey, if you turn here it’s a shortcut.”

“Jack, that is a gravel road. That’s not a shortcut, it’s a ticket to getting lost. We don’t have time to get lost.”

“Your turn is in like ten miles,” Specs said, studying the map.

“Specs, give me that map,” Jack said, making a grab for it. “See, Davey?”

“Jack, sit down!” Davey put out an arm blocking Jack as he glanced back in the rearview mirror.

“Hey, give that back!” Race shouted. A quick glance told Davey that Albert had stolen Race’s hat. Again. 

Romeo was asleep against Elmer. Another glance, and Davey was pretty sure Romeo was drooling.

Finch was still perched on top of the food bin, a bag of chips in his hand. He was completely calm amid the chaos. Crutchie was also curiously calm, having not looked away from the window in probably two hours.

“Come on, Davey,” Jack said, starting to stand again.

“I swear to god, Jack, I will stop this car if you don’t put your seatbelt on.”

Jack settled back in his seat with a huff. “How come I’s the only one you ever yell at about seatbelts? Race and Albert aren’t wearing theirs, and Finch don’t even have one.”

“God forbid I care if you live or die,” Davey said, shaking his head, before reevaluating what Jack said. “Wait, Race and Albert aren’t wearing seatbelts?” He took another look in the rearview mirror. Albert, now wearing Race’s hat, shrugged at him. Race took advantage of Albert’s distraction to reclaim his hat. “Oh, my god, I’m driving a car full of idiots.”

“Hey, now!” Crutchie objected, looking over from his constant gazing out the window.

Davey sighed. “Fine. I’m driving a car made MOSTLY of idiots.”

“Imma take that as a compliment,” Race said, settling back into his seat. “Oh, by the way, I have to pee.”

Davey groaned.

-----

Around two in the morning, Davey pulled over to let Jack drive.

“Get some sleep, Dave,” Jack said, clapping him on the shoulder. Davey nodded tiredly.

He settled back into his seat, closing his eyes. However, as soon as he felt himself start to slip off to sleep, a loud voice startled him awake.

“Albert give it back!” Race cried. 

Davey shifted in his seat, moving his sweatshirt hood to cover his ears. Still, he could hear Race and Albert bickering in the backseat.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you sharing is caring?” Albert shot back.

“I DON’T CARE!” Race yelled, and Davey could hear the sounds of a struggle behind him. 

He raised his arms to cover his ears, when something landed in his lap. He opened his eyes slowly.  A bag of Twizzlers sat on his legs.

“Them’s mine,” Race said, leaning over and grabbing it.

“Let me have it!” Albert yelled, also grabbing it. Davey flinched, blinking at them sleepily.

“Let. Go. Of. The. Twizzlers,” Davey said slowly. Both boys released the bag and retreated. Davey took one look at the bag on his lap, and passed it up to Crutchie.

“Thanks, Davey!” Crutchie said, immediately grabbing a piece of licorice and taking a bite.

“Those is-” Race started, but Jack cut him off.

“Race. Albert. Shut up and let Davey sleep,” he said, reaching a hand back and patting Davey’s knee.

Davey looked up at him. “Jack,” he said slowly. “I love you, but don’t touch me.”

Jack’s hand went back to the steering wheel, and finally, Davey could drift off to sleep.

-----

When Davey finally woke up, the van was stopped at a gas station. He looked around, slightly disoriented. None of the other boys were in the van, but Jack was filling the tank outside.

He sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Jack noticed him, and waved.

Davey opened his door and climbed out.

“Morning, Davey,” Jack said, smiling. “You sleep good?”

“Yeah, actually,” Davey said, stretching. “I can drive now. Just give me a minute to wake up.”

“Alright. The other guys are inside, so if you want anything to eat, go get it.”

Davey nodded, and headed into the store.

Once everyone had something, they piled back into the minivan, with Davey behind the wheel. 

“Everyone ready?” Davey asked. A variety of “yeah” and “yes” echoed back at him.

Davey started down the road, eating his breakfast sandwich. They couldn’t have been driving for more than ten minutes before Davey glanced back, and saw Jack’s “breakfast.”

“Jack, are you eating fruit snacks for breakfast?” Davey asked.

“What’s wrong with that?” Jack asked, opening another pouch.

“They’re literally candy,” Davey said.

“But they has fruit in ‘em,” Jack said lightly, popping another in his mouth.

“What? Jack, no, that’s not...that’s not how that works.”

“Then why is they in the breakfast aisle?” Jack complained.

“But they’re not?” Davey replied, setting his sandwich down.

“They’re by the pop-tarts,” Jack corrected him. “They’s breakfast.”

“Wait, fruit snacks ain’t breakfast?” Race asked, perking up from the backseat.

“What? No!” Davey replied.

“Next you’se gonna tell me Gushers ain’t, either!” Race said, shaking his head.

“They’re not, though?” Davey said incredulously.

“You’se not my mom,” Race said, glowering.

“Don’t upset Mom,” Albert whispered, poking Race. “He don’t like when you say that.”

“Albert, what-” Davey cut himself off, shaking his head. “Nevermind, I don’t even want to know. Race, please tell me you don’t have Gushers right now.”

Finch silently handed Davey a potato chip, who took it.

“And seriously, Jack,” he continued, without missing a beat. “Fruit snacks are not a good breakfast. You’re gonna feel really sick later, and it won’t be my fault if you are.” He gestured wildly with the potato chip, and Jack followed it with his eyes. “Please, eat some crackers or something at least.”

“Are you gonna eat that?” Jack interrupted.

“Huh?” Davey asked, then looked at the potato chip in his hand. “Why am I holding this?”

Finch dissolved into laughter. Jack grabbed it out of his hand and popped it in his mouth.

“Jack!” Davey complained.

-----

As they drove past a sign that said, “Santa Fe, 20 miles,” Jack could barely control his excitement. “Davey, Davey, it’s really happening!” he said, hitting Davey’s shoulders repeatedly. “Crutchie. Crutchie. We’re almost in Santa Fe.”

“We’re almost in Santa Fe,” Crutchie replied.

Jack pretended to faint.

“You good back there, Jack?” Davey asked. Jack sat back up with a spring. 

“I’ve never been this excited in my entire life,” he exclaimed. “Are we there yet?”

“Jack. Look out the window. You’ll know when we’re in Santa Fe.”

“There are MOUNTAINS!” Jack said, eyes wide.

“Whoa,” Elmer added.

“Jack, you’ve been painting these mountains since you were six years old,” Crutchie pointed out.

“And they’re BEAUTIFUL…” Jack sighed.

The next twenty minutes passed in silence until….

“Santa Fe!” Crutchie cried as they passed the town sign. Jack was startlingly quiet.

“Jack?” Davey asked, looking in the rearview mirror.

“I’m actually in Santa Fe,” Jack whispered, his voice caught in his throat.

“Hey, Jack, are you crying?” Race asked.

Davey checked his blind spot, and pulled over to the side of the road. He put the car in park and turned around to look at Jack.

“Jack, are you okay?” he asked.

Jack nodded, his eyes all watery. “It’s just...beautiful.”

“Welcome to Santa Fe, Jack,” Davey said, smiling at him.

[spearxwind]

Do something chaotic. Prove your chaotic neutralness

here’s some things i did pretty recently :  

- it was raining like HELL and the small dirt alley i have to pass through to get home was entirely flooded. so much so that even the brick path people put there for whenever this happens was completely submerged and invisible. and i really didnt wanna backtrack so.... i climbed up onto the fence that makes up one wall of the alley and just. crawled over to the end of it without touching water. the thing is tho that behind the fence theres NOTHING, and behind me there were a couple spotlights, so everyone (and at least 3 people actually did) could have seen me crawl over this ratty, weak fence like a salamander, and with my umbrella in my mouth. in the middle of pouring rainsidenote: it was 10pm and very darksidenote 2: id been looking for an excuse to do that since i started the year and discovered the alley but you cant exactly do that in broad daylight and for no reason so this was perfect 

- in the locker basement 6 of my friends were all having a convo about things i really wasnt interested in, and looking around i see an empty spray paint can. i turn to the other friend who is also not interested in the convo like ‘hey. can i knife that open’ and hes like ‘oh hell yea’so i just kneel down on the floor, 2ft from the rest of them, and just. pull out one of my knives and slice the thing in half (i did this so i could take the lil metal balls inside) none of the others noticed. or maybe they DID but refused to acknowledge it sidenote: 2 or 3 summers ago i did this very thing but i didnt have a knife with me at the time and we were in the middle of the rural county so i just busted it open with a rock half the size of my torso while my cousins recorded mesidenote 2: i have another empty can in my locker ready for surgery

- me and my friend who encouraged the knifing got together for some homework which consisted of bashing some cardboard tubes until they were soft. we asked the mechanic workshop for a mace, and my friend brought a whole ass rock, and we just sat down (you guessed it!) in the cursed locker basement. to absolutely beat the shit out of the cardboard. my friend put on megalovania as a background tune

- one of our teachers had been a substitute and we were about to change to a new one so both of them were present one day for a correction (basically we just sat in a semicircle and the substitute had to comment on them. not nicely tho) while the other new and actual teacher + us looked on. and i did my fair amount of comments to my friends bc .. im love jokes. but also. the only two that the new teacher heard were the two violent ones i did which were: 

1. substitute was talking about how the new teach’s dad had a painting studio that we might get to visit, and it had been built over an old boxing ring. and he goes “hee hee.. it used to be a boxing ring.. u better behave urselves eh hahah”  and w the straightest face, just as everyone casually becomes quiet, i go “hell yeah next correction day is gonna be a fistfight to the death” (everyone lost their shit..... except 2 people who didnt hear me and the new teacher) 

2. not even 10 mins after that one of my friends is showing her paintings and the teacher is commenting on how one of them is just... extremely saturated with red. its just full red. so ofc he goes “did you paint this inside a darkroom??“ and of course. of course. i gotta impulsively be a smartass there too so AGAIN, JUST AS EVERYONE SOMEHOW BECOMES QUIET, I GO “you painted that with the blood of your enemies” 

this was the very first impression that one teacher got of me

[namjoonxorg]

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝑭𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓 ･❪ ❁ ❫ ･ 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒐 - 𝑷𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑩𝒆𝒅𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆

“We always believe our first love is our last, and our last love our first.” – George W. Melville

You were doing it again.

It had been a solid week since that incident in the coffee shop with Jimin and Hobi -were you still allowed to call him that?- and you’ve caught yourself wandering back to his almost forgotten contact more times than you care to admit. You never did anything, just sat there, staring at his information, and wondering where the hell it had all went wrong.  

Truth be told, Hobi, undoubtedly, was your best friend. You remember the days from high school when you called him the second you got home. You’d talk for hours, leaving your homework entirely unfinished and untouched, but still return the next day with bunches more to say. You remember back when you didn’t even need to pull up his contact, you knew it by heart so just saved time by putting it into the keypad before dialing. You remember the time you had to coax him into doing the blood drive at your school and had to write down his information for him because he was too nervous about the needles to think about what the hell his address was.

You also remember the days you applied to colleges. Hobi immediately applied for the best dance school in the country, while you on the other hand, having no artistic bone in your body, opted for something stable, not too far from home yet still far enough. You really only cared for the simple things and so you were pretty happy to find that you had been accepted. Unfortunately for Hobi, he found out the hard way that those big school don’t exactly give scholarships to freshmen. You remember spending the night at his house that day, using every second of your time reminding how stupid they were to not consider him.

He eventually found a college, he left it unnamed because he was still pretty bummed about the dance school, but you never would have guessed that the art school you transferred to last year was the one he’d told you about. Still, back when he told you it was farther away than you’d hoped, you made a pinky promise to always be best friends. You wouldn’t let yourselves become one of those cliches. And for a while, you believed it. How much good that promise did.

Needles to say, you don’t really do pinky promises anymore.

Presently, you sigh and allow your head to loll over on your pillow.

It was almost two in the morning and you hadn’t been able to get any sleep. Your head, for the thousandth time, was filled with thoughts and memories you’d rather keep tucked away. Seeing Hobi had really fucked up your headspace and you’d been bombarded with ways you could have done things differently, things you could have said before it was too late or simply what would have happened if things had gone better a few days ago.

You shifted again, trying to find a position comfortable enough to allow you sleep, but sadly, it seemed as if it just weren't coming. So, you leaned over to reach your phone and, with high hopes and zero expectations, you sent a text.

You: you up?

You waited with baited breath, hoping that all those times of bonding over your shit sleeping schedules would ring true.

Yoongi: is that even a question?

You exhaled in relief, thanking every god you knew that someone’s insomnia is just as bad as yours.

You: you up for coffee? at the 24/7 place from last time?

Yoongi: pls, im already on my way

Yoongi: need me to pick you up again?

You: no thanks. soomin had a fit last time and im not dealing with that again.

You: i’ll just walk. i’ll be fine dw

You smiled, grateful not for the first time, that you managed to meet Yoongi. So, with lighter steps and with messier hair, you climbed out of your bed and slipped on some shoes before heading out the door. Thankfully the coffee shop was very close to your dorm so you only needed to walk for a short time, but you made sure to keep your pepper spray in hand.

You were opening the door to the coffee shop in no time, the familiar chime of the bell putting a smile on your face. However, it soon turned into a frown of confusion when you spotted another head of hair sitting next to Yoongi’s striking minty green.  

As you got closer to their chosen table -near the back, obviously- you immediately recognized the other person as your dweeb of a friend.

“Jungkook, isn’t it past your bedtime?” You teased as you sat down, having already placed your order.

Yoongi laughed, more genuine than most would expect at such an ungodly hour. “That’s exactly what I said.”

The younger scowled, his nose scrunching up in that way it does and you can’t take him seriously. “Shut up, guys.” He scoffs but doesn’t say anything until you come back with your drink. “I’m twenty-one, when will you stop treating me like a child?”

“When you stop acting like one,” Yoongi quips and Jungkook goes to argue, but Yoongi shakes his head, holding up a finger to silence him. “Go ahead and tell her what you were doing when you heard me leaving and decided to tag along.”

Jungkook seems to shrink back, slouching into the booth you sit in and you arch your eyebrow, curious.

“... playing Overwatch.”

You and Yoongi burst out into laughter at this, earning you glares from not only Jungkook but the poor baristas working the night shift. You didn’t stop though, your laughter ringing out and seeming to bounce off the walls in the total emptiness of the cafe. Soon enough, Jungkook wasn’t able to remain pouting and he joined you, laughing at himself with ease. You loved that about your friend, the way he was able to let loose and take jokes.

“My point exactly,” Yoongi replies quietly when your laughter comes to a close. The baristas are still glaring at the three of you, but none of you seem to mind too much.

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Jungkook whines, pouting like the child he is. “Jin hyung is obsessed with Mario Kart but no one says anything about that!”

“To his face,” Yoongi drawls with a lazy point of his finger and you fail to hide your snicker behind your hand. “Jin hyung is a child in a man’s body, but at least he knows when to go to sleep.”

You sit silently, sipping carefully on your coffee and watch as Jungkook and Yoongi continue to go at it with an amused smirk on your face.

Jungkook stomps his feet, not doing much to prove his point. “Okay, but what about Namjoon hyung and his stupid Ryan plushies?”

“We let those slide because his IQ makes up for that small ounce of childishness.”

“What about Jimin hyung and-”

“Jungkook you know that no matter what you say, you’re not going to win this argument, right?”

The brunette slouches and crosses his arms, but doesn’t reply back. More than likely because he knows Yoongi is right.

He looks over to you, as if for defense, but finds you hiding your smile behind your cup. He tilts his head, in that way he does when he’s planning something devious, and smirks at you with a lift of a brow.

“Speaking of Jimin hyung,” He starts, leaning across the table to grin at you smugly. “I wonder what he would say about Y/N being out right now with two of his best friends.”

Yoongi frowns for a second before realization dawns on him. Then, like the flick of a switch, he turns to you with an expression that matches Jungkook’s perfectly. “Yeah, I’m wondering that, too.”

That traitor.

You huff, but decide not to buy into their game. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shug, feigning indifference.

“That’s okay, it’s not like you like him or anything,” Yoongi states, taking a slow sip of his drink while sharing a look with Jungkook.

The latter nods, leaning back and draping his arm along the side of the booth. “Yeah, but I guess that’s a good thing. He’s probably out with some girls right now, anyway.”

“What?!” You ask, doing your best to keep your voice down but ultimately failing.

This time it's Yoongi and Jungkook who burst out into laughter as you wait for them to settle down so they can clarify things for you.

“So I guess that proves it, then,” Yoongi laughs and empties his cup.

“Proves what?”

“That you like Jimin hyung,” Jungkook sing-songed, teasing you lightheartedly.

You groaned, feeling like they set this up. “It's not as if it was a secret, anyway.”

“Its okay, Y/N. Hyung and I were just messing with you.” He smiled, one of those impish ‘i know something you don’t’ smiles. “He probably likes you, too.”

With a stifled laugh you throw the straw from your drink across the table at him, provoking laughs from Yoongi for the third time since you got here.

In the end, you left with two very unhappy baristas and full invention of skipping your morning class.

Previous || Next Masterlist || Beginning || Coauthor

[cerulean8looded]

25!!!!!!!!

okay that one i literally made bc i look like john, love just dance, and want to be loved but here we fuckin go

25. John being a just dance twitch streamer and all the boys being gay for it i mean youtubers au

so im thinking that all of them make WILDLY different content. lets start with the beta kids.

so john has a gaming channel, clearly, and he decides he wants to lose some weight in a fun way that also helps his channel, so he starts the just dance thing. other than that, he mostly plays things like minecraft, five nights at freddys, all your basic bitch stuff, along with a fair few horror games. he really likes minecraft and sims 4 though.

rose has a witchcraft channel. she practices witchcraft and makes videos about spells and sigils and crystals and all the other cool stuff that goes along with that. i dont know much about witchy stuff anymore, its been a while since i was into that stuff, so id have to do a bunch of research for her.

dave has two channels: irony channel and music channel. the ironic one is where he posts anything to do with sbahj, and just generally fucks about, does weird trends and stuff. he never shows his face on his music channel, never shares his name, and it’s all remixes, so no one hears his voice either.

jade has the most chaotic but pure channel. she does anything she feels like doing, from kids show reviews to “Look at this cool pumpkin i grew” to “heres my favourite gun”. she has no theme, and never plans to change this.

Trolls

aradia is similar to jade in chaotic energy, but she tends to stick to stuff like creepy antiques she finds, weird animal bones from the fields she just wanders about in and that kind of odd stuff. she also talks about dark conspiracy theories a bit.

tavros mostly focuses on animals; animal care, animal facts, how to spot animal illnesses, how to deal with hostile but injured animals in the wild, what to do if you see an animal you think might have rabies, all that kinda shit. theres always at least one animal in every video, whether its a ferret in his lap, a cat walking over him, a snake around his neck, a guinea pig on his shoulder, and so on.

sollux does a gaming and tech help channel. he plays any game that people claim is difficult and tends to beat them so fast people think he’s hacking. he slaves over every fnaf game to try to beat the custom night first. as for tech help, hes basically that guy who runs the channel on how to fix discontinued apple products.

i lost my fucking karkat paragraph, im furious. basic recap of what i lost: he does general content like dan howell and phil lester kinda, with a couple staple series, such as his rant series, where his followers give him a topic and he rants about it for about twenty minutes (after editing). he also does livestream versions which can sometimes last for several hours per rant.

nepeta does cosplay videos with whoever she can rope into helping her (usually terezi, vriska, equius, or feferi) plus a lot of fandom videos in general. she usually comes off really lighthearted in her videos, but she also makes a lot of important comments about fandom culture and shipping wars etc. on her second channel she does vlogs, which exposes her absolute gremlin side. these vlogs often feature things such as her climbing up a tree, getting stuck, and screaming until equius saves her.

kanaya does makeup and fashion advice videos, mostly with a vampire theme to them. occasionally she’ll do cosplay makeup too. her favourite videos to do are when her subscribers send in pictures of themselves and their closets, along with some general information on what they wont wear and all that, and she gives them advice on how to spruce up their look a little and declutter their clothes, etc. she likes feeling like shes making a difference to people.

terezi focuses on true crime mostly; cold cases, current cases, sometimes she runs through the process of solved cases. she prefers to do unsolved stuff, since it gives her the ability to talk about her own theories on it, and she does often get it right, but for particularly interesting cases she will do a video anyway. she also does a little bit on mental health and the reasons behind crimes and shit.

vriska is another kinda general youtuber. she does whatever the hell she wants, plus anything anyone says she cant do. she also lets some of nepetas fandom stuff leak into her content. no one really knows how she got so many subscribers. she also has the most merch out of all of them.

equius makes videos on whatever happens to be his current hyperfixation at that moment. hes the most inconsistent. one week hes picking apart the homosexual subtext in certain scenes of jaws, the next hes teaching you how to put together a microwave. he does a lot of lgbtq+ videos too; his most popular video is of him and nepeta and some others at pride and most peoples favourite part is nepeta racing around a small clearing with equius on her back while vriska cackles behind the camera

no one is really sure what gamzee actually does. his videos are all filmed on a phone camera and are never edited. he doesnt have an intro or an outro. sometimes it seems like he forgot to start filming until halfway through whatever he was talking about, but he never repeats the bits the camera missed. theres no theme, no clear goal, no one knows whats happening and theyre pretty sure hes high in every video. one time he posted a video that was over 48 hours of the phone just pointing at a wall, which appeared to be covered in blood just out of sight of the screen (as in you could see the edge of it but not the actual blood) and there appeared to be a hand sitting at the corner of the screen. everyone was fucking terrified for a while, but the next video posted to his account was karkat explaining that hed had a bit of a mental break and thrown a jar of jar at the wall (the “blood”) and that the hand was just a doll. hed taken out his phone to film a vent video, but promptly forgot about it, dropped it, and went to do something else. he finally remembered over two days later, posted it without thinking and called karkat. a few weeks later he started posting again like the whole thing never happened.

eridan’s content mostly focuses on harry potter and magic (which he definitely doesnt believe in because that would be ridiculous), but he makes a lot of environmental PSA videos about littering and pollution and stuff. in his fandom videos he comes across as just really excitable and doesnt seem like he cares about much else, but he really shows off his intelligence in PSA type videos. he also posts a lot of videos of him just talking about whatevers going on in his life, usually whenever he gets a new crush. his most popular video is the one he made right after seeing johns just dance streams for the first time, because he looked like he was about to cry or scream the whole time.

and feferi! her content mostly focuses on social and political issues. she talks out against “canceled”/purity culture a lot and tends to end up involved in discourse for it. shes that person in the middle of the argument whos literally only stating facts and saying that we shouldnt jump to unnecessary conclusions, but somehow ends up being accused of being jack the ripper or some shit for it. she isnt afraid to share her honest opinions and makes sure to remain as polite and level-headed as is humanly possible when responding to others.

i was gonna do the alpha kids and dancestors too and like share some plot and that kinda stuff but this is long as fuck, so we’re gonna stop here for now! feel free to request again for even more info dumping. also i just wanna say that i planned none of that gamzee stuff i had no idea what i was doing when i started that

[elliesproblems]

To Whom It May Concern

Chapter Six:

The Road to Recovery is Lonely

Entry : September 11th, 2017

The fear that everyone secretly hates you and just doesn’t have the heart to say it is hard to pinpoint where exactly it comes from. It could be something as untrackable as a bad babysitter, or a mean teacher. Luckily for me, I’ve seen the fear take hold in it’s true ability in certain environments. Unluckily for me, it’s near impossible to avoid in a Christian household. This is where a sound like a sniveling atheist junior high kid. Feel free to read the rest of this in a condescending tone.

Apparently not everyone appreciates their value being closely related to how ‘Godly’ they are. ‘Godly’ being following strict rules that old people incorrectly quoted the bible to get people to become social slaves to them in the name of ‘respect’. Does it sound like I have more to say on that topic? Because I do, but right now we’re focusing on the after effects. It’s bizarre to some how someone can develop a mental illness growing up in that sort of environment.

It wasn’t until my early teens until I realized it was this that was tearing me down, and it wasn’t until my late teens that I won my freedom for it. I fought for years, but I was one of the fortunate few that can take hold of their surroundings at least somewhat. Of course, I got my fair share of ‘you’re going to hell’s and ‘god will only forgive so much’, and that was before I came out as gay to him.

Now, he doesn’t associate the strict ‘Sunday is only for church’ with going to hell, but I would be stupid to wait around for an apology. He is still waiting for me to come around like all I have to do is be willing for me to magically get better. I pretend that I will eventually come around because I don’t have the fight it takes to break free anymore.

For those that are religious, I understand it wasn’t this ‘God’ that hurt me, just the insensitive followers preaching love, but giving none of it. And I can go on about the troubles it’s given me. From my only therapist that dad would pay for being a lady from church who just used our hour as another church service to my mother feeding my fears by calling my dark figured hallucinations ‘demons’, and they got so much worse after that. I know it wasn't ‘God’, but the worst things in life are fueled by belief.

I’m going to save you the years of arguing and screaming and shitty ‘therapists’. In a summary, an unbiased google search turned up RTS as a possible name for it all and Social Anxiety can be birthed from it. So through years of fighting, I distanced myself away from the Church, no matter how hard Dad tried to drag me back to only get harmed worse, trying to get me to stagnate in healing. No matter how many times I was told I was going to hell for trying to nurse my mental health back.

And I got better, days got better. ‘God bless you’s  at grocery stores were easier ignored, and the comment from my aunt on how the cashier was somehow better because they took one look at her at changed their usual ‘have a nice day’. Eventually, Dad stopped treating me like I was next in line for Hell, and everything began to pull back into place. It was hard to understand a fear based in the belief that everyone hates you when I had so much proof of otherwise.

Until, I didn’t, and the fear twisted itself into a fear of never being able to see the hatred those around me are harbouring. I, at one time, was okay. The years of fighting behind me, and was moving forward, and I then I was lost and alone.

It’s hard to climb the same mountain a second time when you still have the bruises of falling back to the bottom. Especially when everytime I believe I have found a true companion, they shove me down to where I started. They don’t always wait for my back is turned either, like they’re impatient to see me to fall; to take away what I’ve fought so hard for.

But at least this way, when I get back to the top of my mountain, it is still mine to claim solely.

September 11th, 2017

I can be proud of myself. I have experienced what recovery is like. I’ll never be 100%, but having an anxiety attack is a rare occurrence when it used to be a daily battle. I did that. I found my triggers, cut them off or corrected them and made my own way.

God's words are not the only way, and it’s a long one for me if it’ll work at all. That’s where my problems are rooted, so I cut it off with my religious therapist and got my dad to stop preaching at me. And I got better. I get to be proud of myself.

And then, like the calm before the storm, I couldn’t understand why everyone hated me when I tried to compromise. I lost it all except for myself. There was no amount of fighting or begging that could help me. It was like a cycle, the minor progress where I would force myself to be me again, over and over. ‘The higher they are, the harder they fall’ is only supposed to be in stories. Or villains.

Until in January where I stopped trying to be better. Why fix what will just be broken broken? This is what I’m missing. Why I thought I could recover again. What makes me salvageable? You can only super glue fucking glass back together so many times.

It was only loneliness that drove me to J******, and I used her to drown it all out. Maybe I could overwrite what happened. I had made a point to leave any remnants of them behind. I was going to be better, but I couldn’t even keep a promise to myself.

Still, I managed to get back on my feet somehow. Reglued again.

Dad breaks his two year streak of no preaching and the fall back is immediate. He used to say he was proud of me whenever I was friends with J****** as if she really did replace what had happened. And then never said it again once I came out as gay. No one did, no matter the amount of guts it took to say it to his face or give T*** another chance, when all the other chances rip the progress out from under my feet, and I’ve only been trained to expect betrayal. After all of this, I don’t think it looks like bravery to anyone. More like desperation.

Dad ruins it again in one night. ‘The only way to recovery is God's promises.’ Like my years of hard work are null and void. He isn’t proud of my progress. No one is. I lost everything for good and now all I have left is a twisted relationship with the people I thought I knew. And if it's the only way, then im fucked because that is not a path i can go forward on.

But I can be proud of myself.

At one time, I believed I could get by, because I was left with nothing but myself. Now, I know. She had blown a hole in everyone I’ve known and trusted, including myself. Especially myself. There is a lot of times I don’t even have myself. I just wallowing in someone else's memories because Jay is broken apart and long gone, and I’m all that's left. All I can do now is wear her problems as a memorial until they break me apart too.

I’m not sure if it’s considered progress if it’s this fragile. It didn’t have the foundation it once did. The past events give ammunition to the fear of them hating me and the shadow of doubt makes the foundation transparent. I keep feeling the need to remind myself not to trust any one of them, but the problem is I won’t open up to the most welcoming of people.

I was the odd one out in my family, and the walls where always closing in on me at home. There was nowhere for me to run to; no safe place. Nowhere where I wouldn't be held accountable for something I still don’t know I did.

And then there was J******, feeding my need to have someone who never knew her or T****. She was the closest I got to trusting someone. It was easy when Dad was encouraging me with “I’m proud of you”s like maybe I really had gotten out of all of it alive.

Somehow I made myself forget it all. I left everything behind. Necklaces, shirts, notes. All of it. They had no place in that little yellow house. Just Jasmine helping me look forward.

But I looked back, and though it hasn’t blown up in my face yet, it’s ingrained in my instincts to already regret it.