#NO JOKE SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG UNIRONICALLY

[neonmetro]

OKAY IT LITERALLY JUST CROSSED MY MIND I MENT TO PUT THIS IN MY OTHER ASK, AND I'M SO SORRY FOR ASKING FOR SPECIFIC CHARACTERS BECAUSE I'M NOT REALLLLYYYY SURE IF THATS ANNOYING OR NOT, BUT generally I've been really Azazel /project martyr but mainly Azazel brainrotted and I also wanted to ask for Azazel and Raena content you haven't shared or that you just have lying around. . .they are just really cute. . . And make me so happy /NF ONLY IF YOU WANT OFC SKDJFJVJGNTNT

-Ulysses loving anon

NONO YOU'RE SO FINE!!! i love having specific character asks tbh... it helps center me... I'M GLAD YOU'RE LIKING SPECIFIC CHARACTERS THO WAHHH IT MEANS SM!!

I THINK I'VE SHARED MOST OF THE OVERARCHING THINGS ABOUT THEM... but I'll maybe elaborate on some of their relationships (+ w moloch/raena :) )

they're really full of love. and that's what frustrates them the most, they want people to love them and they want to love people. they hate the idea of other people disliking them even though they dislike them, they're just duality incarnate and they're too busy spiraling to really realize that they Can change, they just need to stop having a black and white perspective and learn to accept things

people on their team genuinely love them!!! and they love them too!!! samyaza, they didn't want to hurt even though samyaza had really bad intentions (projmar has a system of having sponsors whenever you kill someone in the games), samyaza didn't really have a plan for what was going to happen, they just knew they needed to do Something. and while azazel killed beelzebub, it was by accident. beelzebub still helped out azazel when they first started out financially... azazel doesn't really like killing but will still do so because they've convinced themselves its the only way to become better

raenazel has kind of been dry... my apolocheese

i think azazel is lowkey glad raena wasn't around for when they spiraled into their joker arc, so he didn't have to watch them turn into an entirely diff person (HE'S KIND OF THEIR ANCHOR TBH BUT SINCE HE'S LOCKED UP HE CAN'T DO SHIT) but the thing is HE IS STILL AROUND AND WATCHING. AUGH

[l7nns31deb109]

Any hcs about what kinds of humor/memes/jokes would lotr characters like in modern au?

AHHH OMG I LOVE THIS REQUEST!!!!

OKAY!! SO!!! Did the hobbits but if you’d like the rest of the fellowship just lmk! Ps. Sorry it took so long to answer!

Pippin

•LOVES brain rot memes

•unironically watched skidbi toilet once

•half of what comes out of his mouth is a TikTok reference

•^everyone gets so sick of him smh

•(this is niche but) loves judyhopslover69 on tiktok

•^will quote “AHH IM SHIFTING!”

•calls people ‘sigma’ and ‘alpha’

•owns a wolf shirt

•loves ironic tee shirts

^’I’m with stupid’ with an arrow pointing at his head

•loved the cursive singing trend

•talks about the rizzler and big aj

•”THAT GETS FIVE BIG BOOMS!”

Frodo

•dabbles in brain rot memes

•keeps up with TikTok lore

•^knows all the ash trevino and santos drama

•^will tell Sam about it

•weird sense of humor lowkey

•^ will laugh at a picture of cheese??

•used to be a dan and Phil stan

•has a secret account where he trolls people

•^ will send slightly ominous messages to people on it for shits and giggles, “he still loves you…” or “DONT trust her🐍”

•prank calls people with pip and merry, will steal bilbos flip phone to get the numbers

•^not meme related but, these three would choreograph dances/ performances to get sleepovers

•”mamma a girl behind YOU 💚”

•participated in brat summer

•^introduced the group the charli and yes okay they all love her

•stan twitter warrior

Sam

•doesn’t have tiktok and refuses to download it

•has a big Pinterest board with memes on it

•misses vine like a mofo

•^ favorite vine was the potato flew around my room one

•”what does this mean im employed”

•^ learnt this from scrolling on tiktok on Frodos phone

•LOVES emojis

•^often communicates solely by emojis

•ex: Frodo will text him a question and Sam will reply this, “🚫👎😓🫶🍄”, “why the mushroom??”, “It’s pretty. :) 🍄🍄🍄🍄”

•likes podcasts, listens to them while

gardening

•^him and merry def wanted to start one together

•likes niche memes

Merry

•tried to get a meme account popular on instagram

•had a minecraft YouTuber phase in 2020

•has a soundboard app downloaded and will use it

•loved icarly and Fred when he was younger

•quotes really cringy Stuff

•^”um he’s right behind me… isn’t he?”🤓

•loves commenting on tiktoks

•^gets into arguments with people on there

•him and Frodo (sometimes sam and pip) watch drag race together and send eachother memes abt it

•whenever one of them leave a room the other will definitely say “sashay away”

•^they put pippin in drag one time

•reposts cringey stoner memes

•him and pippin played FNAF when it first came out (pippin cried)

•him and pippin were literally at the tiktok rizz party so….

[imagine-silk]

Are you still doing requests for FO4? You had a similar ask so if this is too repetitive, ignore it. How would the companions react to a Sole who sings, how did they find out, and what song would Sole sing them? I'd like to submit "Picture You" by Chappel Roan being sung at the Third Rail.

》Sorry this took so long. I was trying to do the new ones at the top and all the ones that fell through the cracks have sat for way too long. (╥﹏╥) Also this song fucking slaps, love her. Kinda made this into a modern AU.

Thinks it's just a cute song

Piper is so happy Chappel Roan exist because she's a good figure for Nat to look up to. She takes her to see concerts and gets her merch, even watches her do the dance at home.

Cait doesn't learn the lyric nor does she care to but she'll always turn it up whenever it pops up on the radio while she's doing something. She'll try to hum along but she doesn't know the tempo exactly so her foot tapping is the only part on beat.

Dogmeat doesn't know what any of it means but everyone seems happy so he loves it.

Hancock and Deacon are in the same boat of 'big fans that will get really into it'. It started as a joke but then they did actually like it and unironically song and dance to it at the concerts. They're having the time of their lives.

Cries to it

Preston has felt that all too well and it hits home harder because he can't stop listening to it. Like it's a good song. He lays on his bed face down with the music blaring.

Curie likes the song from an analytical stand point and will explain it to people. But the second she explains the lyrics she goes on about how deep the emotion is and how beautiful the sentiment is.

Codsworth may be a robot butler but the sheer love and thoughtfulness that must have went into it and leaving her love bare for the world to enjoy, it would bring anyone to tears.

Danse is kind of embarrassed how much he likes the song. Not because it's girly but because it's his favorite of hers and he feels like that says something about him personally. He listens to it with headphones.

Will defend it with their life

MacCready thinks the song is cute, even if he doesn't really relate. It sounds good and the message is sweet. The second someone tries to tell him it's not a manly song he goes off. "Shut up. No one asked you."

X6 doesn't care one way or another, he doesn't listen to music. But his friends like it so he'll called anyone who talks badly about it uncultured.

Nick defends her music and will never fail to mention people should leave the girl herself alone. Don't be weird. He's not her target audience but other people in his life listen to it and he doesn't like when someone as genuine as her gets harassed by weird people.

[yazihowell]

Hello! I have a questions about TIT!

I heard Dan sings a song? Does he have a nice voice? Did he sing as a joke? Was it a good song?

Did you go alone? Did you get to meet them?

Any information is fine, I'm just also very excited ^-^

hi!!

yes, they both sing! it starts out as sort of jokey, as in dan brings out a ukulele and jokes that it’s not an apology. phil says it should be and dan says we should be the ones apologizing to them (and in toronto we all yelled “sorry!” lol). dan starts singing and phil joins in and it’s about a minute long of the cute little ukulele song, then dan smashes it on the ground and tells the dj to drop the beat. it then turns into unironically such a good song??!!?? it’s definitely my favourite out of all the tour songs, and the dance is really fun too!

dan does have a good voice, they both do! i think they took vocal lessons for this, because their voices have both really improved since ii and even wad. the second part of the song isn’t jokey, it’s more like ii/tatinof in that it’s a full performance with an instrumental backing and a dance (there’s also auto tune in the vocal backing that scratches my brain really well, but they do sing live too!)

i technically went alone in that i bought just one ticket, but i met friends through twitter! my seatmate and i dmed for months beforehand so we were comfortable with each other which was so great, and some people from the titronto gc (about 8 of us) met at the mall before the show!

i did meet them, yes!!! it was my first time meeting them and i can go into detail about that if you or anybody else is interested, they are incredibly sweet and it was the most amazing thing ever.

i hope you have so much fun when you go - i’m assuming you’re going since you said you’re excited!!! i think it’s their best tour yet, and they worked very hard to make it as incredible as it is 🖤💙

[isas-bathbombs]

RL characters and their thoughts on the show “Glee”

requested by @oneginn (why did i do this for you)

Cassandra

at first watched it to make fun of it. she wanted to break the rumors that theatre kids loved this show and she thought it was sooo stupid at first

but then she immediately got hooked at first ep from the absurdity of it all and unironically became invested

she’s either super embarrassed to admit that she prefers the glee cover of some songs over the original or she just casually blasts them without a care. depends on the song probably

hated rachel at first (without realizing shes lowkey her) but then began shipping faberry

oh god faberry took over her life. she SPIRALED over this stupid queerbait ship. started reading every fanfic possible of them and shit

would not shut up about how much she hates this show to elena. elena is tired and at this point knows the plot of every episode because of her

fucking hates ryan murphy

biggest klaine hater. not bc she thinks its a bad ship, shes just pissed that the fandom and the writers focuses on those twinks

watched every season but prefers the first three seasons. she kinda lost hope for this show mid season 5 or something

rachel’s “don’t rain on my parade” performance changed her life, same goes with that bohemian rhapsody scene

don’t ask her about anything in this show otherwise she’d go in an hour long rant and even pull out a (horribly made) presentation

finn hudson hater

Bela

walked in on cass, dani and angie watching the cheesus christ episode and decided to never even consider watching the show herself. she actively avoids it (good for her)

tho she can’t avoid it, they probably made her sit down and watch at least one ep with them

Dani

hasn’t seen the whole show but seen a few episodes with angie and cass. and has seen so many out of context clips

thinks it’s hilarious and would watch just to have a good time (also she thinks its funny seeing cass genuinely lose her shit every ep)

i’m sorry but i think she’d skip the songs

Angie

hasn’t seen all the eps and only watched because she thinks its peak comedy

says the worst takes on purpose because she knows cass would be pissed

quotes the show all the time but rarely anyone gets it (its for the best)

makes a “cant read” joke every time rachel berry pops up on screen

has glee songs on her playlist but most are ironic like trouty mouth and run joey run

Miranda

are you kidding me. shes literally sue sylvester

but she will never be watching this show

honestly one clip of it could kill her. shes not even surviving that muppet episode

[felixravinstills]

There are two Gaulnons now? At long last someone to inquire about Gaul on these blogs with me? Sorry, I am reaching all the way across the anonymous ask feature and holding Gaulnony's hand here.

Either way, since new years is coming up (hope you have a good time!), do you have any particular thoughts on the top 24 and/or the toxic besties and how you think they'd spend this time?

Also the corsocreatures fic about Gloriam/Gaul/P.Ravinstill had me unironically kind of shipping them because the idea that Gaul gets involved w the Snows/the Plot because of a generationally old situationship is so, so damn funny

-Gaulnon? I feel like since there are two gaulnons now i should probably pick another name.

Sorry, it took a while to answer! I’ve been a bit busy lol! Anyway, I suppose you can be gaulnony or if you want to claim a different name like volumnon (that sounds like a futuristic thing lol)

I think that the New Year would probably be a a very extravagant time by the time of OG Trilogy canon, but around TBOSAS I suppose it’s a bit toned down. I imagine the Ravinstills throw a party (more due to being the family of the president). I imagine it’s a big event for all the important families. If they don’t hold their party exactly on New Year’s, I imagine other families have their own parties (and if the president claims New Year’s Eve, then the other families either hold there’s New Year’s Day or before. Maybe there’s a whole bunch of parties throughout the week. Which ones you get invited to is important to high society probably!”

I’m actually unsure if this is a cultural thing, but my family always jumps up in the air at midnight on New Year’s, and I imagine that could be quite scary if Corso Families in penthouses are holding parties. Perhaps, other floors can feel the building shake (imagine living in the same building as a party and not getting invited).

I wonder if any mentors take the New Year’s midnight kiss thing very seriously. My version of Livia probably.

Also I’m so glad you liked the love triangle that isn’t really a love triangle! It truly started as a joke in the server, but I don’t think it’s a joke anymore! Also fun fact: since you love the situationships drama, there was a joke that the Snow’s elevator being broken was Max’s way of keeping them apart in the server at one point haha.

[bnha-more-like-bnh-gay]

Izuku with a quirk like Snow White (but the Shrek Snow White) and he can sing to conjure up animals from everywhere and they would respond to how he sounds when singing.

Y E S S S S S S

Sorry this took me so long to respond to 🥹

Izuku singing angry songs and the animals just >:(

Koda and izuku being besties part 2

Unironically though, koda and izuku being such good friends 😭

They found out when he was just singing a little nursery rhyme as a kid and all the animals in the park just came running

Izuku hums a note and a goddamn flock of birds just appears out of nowhere and inko is just watching her son live the life of a Disney princess

All I can see though, is him going into a fight with a villain and singing/screaming “Immigrant Song” and a fleet of animals just appearing

Bless

Mina asks him how he gets his hair so fluffy and his curls so nice and he, with a straight face, tells her that he sings to birds and they help him do his hair like a goddamn Disney princess and she isn’t even sure if he’s joking around or not

I’m trying to think of specific songs he could sing and what they could do

Does he have to have specific intentions with each song? Does the song have to mean a specific thing? If he sings a song including the breed of an animal, does mostly that breed show up?

He always makes sure to take care of the animals that help him though

If they get injured while helping him, he patches them up and works with koda to try and nurse them back to health

Aizawa has found him keeping several animals in his dorm. At this point, he doesn’t even say anything about it, he’s just tired of walking in on a fox in the class A dorms

“Don’t worry! Alfred won’t hurt you!”

Aizawa: -_-

Aizawa: anyway-

Izuku gets mad and isn’t thinking much about his quirk, but he starts singing and the animals try to avenge him

This is such a fun quirk, because it’s the sound of his voice you said, which I love, he can just sing the angriest songs in the happiest of voices while getting ready in the morning and his animal friends walk with him to class

Do people really want to go to the zoo with him or do they never want to go to the zoo with him? because it’s one or the other and no in between

When he’s a popular hero, he starts a charity for animal rights and animal safety

Koda and him work together for the charity a lot

Sorry this is kind of short and might be incomprehensible, I haven’t slept in two days! But I hope you liked it!!!!!!!! I love this prompt! Stay safe and have a good day!!!!

[sapphire-weapon]

I'm not on Twitter and have no idea what happened today (mainly thanks to insanely toxic fandom shit, I do not have the headspace for that anymore) but as per your last ask, I'm sorry people were shitty to you today. I don't know what happened, but being dogpiled over ships is so stupid. Regardless, you're a talented writer and I absolutely adore your blog. I enjoy everything you put out and I'm saying this as somebody who's painfully neutral about Leshley/Eagleone lmao. The way you break down Leon, Ashley, Ada and others is so, so well fucking written and it's so lovely to see someone who can agree with my own opinions (even if I'm a relatively new and poorly articulate fan!).

My point: I hope hate never gets to you. You don't deserve it. Keep talking and writing, you're wonderful!

It doesn't get to me, and I think it was frustrating for a lot of the people who tried to jump on me to realize that I was treating them like a joke. I'm done playing with them now, though. I got bored, and now I'm just blocking anyone who decides to be a clown.

Basically what happened was, I went to Twitter and I yelled at EagleOne fandom to stop trying to appease the rest of RE fandom by wringing their hands and insisting that the ship is purely 100% innocent and there's no basis in canon.

And then Aeon fandom found the Tweet and they went full

and they took the whole "no, actually, Leon and Ashley's shared arc in RE4make is, in fact, canonically romantic in nature" thing very personally.

What I learned today is:

EagleOne will never be treated as a valid ship in fandom because the rest of the fandom has beaten down the majority of EagleOne people into believing (or at least saying they believe) that the ship isn't valid. We are our own worst enemies, and we are the ones holding the ship back -- not Aeon fandom or anyone else. As long as EagleOne people continue to care about what the rest of the fandom thinks of us, we will never be able to enjoy the ship on our own terms.

There's a really weird and uncomfortable sex-averse thing happening in fandom that I kind of vaguely knew in the back of my mind was there, but I had NO IDEA just how prevalent and insidious it was. Half the people were going "no no no there's no there there in canon" and the other half were legit saying "why do you have to sexualize it?" (as though two people being attracted to each other isn't inherently sexual in nature to begin with?) or even going so far as to say that my brain has been ruined by porn, as though I'm not like. A full grown adult who has had several different dicks in my own mouth, ass, and vagina at varying points in my life.

When given actual evidence for the claims I was making, the people who received it shut the fuck up and never came back into my mentions ever again. It is possible to get people to second-guess the narrative that's been fed to them by fandom, but if there's a way to effectively do that en masse, I don't know what it is.

Slash fans are based as fuck, because their responses to my Tweets were "ok but in my head Leon is still getting railed by dudes" and that is, objectively and unironically, the best attitude I've seen held by any shippers in any fandom ever. They're right, and they should feel good about saying it.

I'm not trying to pull an "it was just a social experiment" because it wasn't, and I genuinely was trying to call out EagleOne people for being a bunch of spineless cowards who are dedicated to destroying their own fun, but a very interesting bit of social commentary did shake out of the whole situation unintentionally.

But like I said to the last anon, I'm glad you're here, bro. I'm glad to be able to provide a place in this fandom where people can actually have intellectual conversations about scripting, game design, and cinematography/film direction/symbolism without the fear of the mob jumping on them for daring to think a little bit (as opposed to not at all).

[we-drank-too-much-bleach]

please do tatsuki ones i like it when she is relevant. too bad she's only relevant like twice because of shite kubo. so yeah tatsuki hcs plzzz!! stop calling me a coward on discord now thank you

I’m so sorry this took so long Alky

TATSUKI HCS!!!!

- She has the longest fucking workout playlist and it’s honestly really really bad

- She works out so intensely that Orihime tried to do it with her and passed out within the first ten minutes.

- Orihime keeps trying to work out with her but gives up earlier and earlier each time

- Tatsuki made an easier routine just for Orihime so they could still spend time together <3

- Tatsuki but Ichigo when they were kids. He has a scar from this.

- Tatsuki has a playlist named “Her <3” and it’s all really bad romance songs

- Tatsuki and Chad will stand in silence for hours and they consider this bonding. They’re good friends.

- Isshin tried to adopt Tatsuki multiple times and she bit him

- Tatsuki and Riruka argue a lot

- She cries and laughs really creepily silently. It looks like she’s been put on mute

- Is a berserk fan

- Tries to explain the plot and lore to Orihime, Orihime falls asleep on her. Win for Tatsuki

- Once Riruka was there when Tatsuki was explaining the lore and she just repeatedly shouted "VINLAND SAGA IS BETTER"

- Her favorite flavor of chips are barbecue and chips that are so spicy it actually burns you

- Ahe is actually like… terrified of horror movies she just watches them to not seem like a wimp

- Likes onions

Who likes onions

- Riruka once got her a rock for her birthday. She unironically liked it. That was nnnnot the point

- Tatsuki grew to like rocks because Orihime has given her HUNDREDS. She associates giving and being given rocks with love <3

- She gave Riruka a plush rock for christmas, Riruka thought it was a joke, Orihime had to explain while Tatsuki tried not to cry

- Tatsuki once saw Rukia in her soul reaper outfit and they just stared at each other awkwardly

- Rukia is terrified, realizing Tatsuki can see her, Tatsuki is just wondering what the fuck Rukia is wearing

- Tatsuki swears every sentence but it’s just the same three (Cunt, fuck, shit) this is where Orihime learned these words

- Dragged everyone to see the two sonic movies, she got kicked out for being too loud.

- Sonic fan. Her favorites are Shadow and Blaze. She hates Silver TO THIS DAY cause she had a crush on Blaze when she was a kid

- She has fought everyone she knows at least once, Ichigo the most times, Orihime the least

- Tatsuki plays fighting games and is awful at them, Orihime is scarily good at them

- Goes to Urahara shop regularly and doesn’t buy anything she just wants to see if Urahara has aged.

I am so sorry this took so long but it’s here now!!! - Giselle

[pinewoodpipit]

ao3 author’s curse?

(jk, feel better soon!)

hahah unironically I've been joking about that with some friends because the next oneshot I post is going to have some WILD author's notes. "Sorry this took so long, we had a serious family tragedy and I got scarlet fever" is kind of crazy.

Thank you for the wellwishes 😭

[narwhalandchill]

anyway finished the story and. (firefly Heavy (!!!!!!) negativity im basically toxic and venting; overall spoilers)

im just. the ayaka-teppei act they were doing for firefly was way too fucking heavy handed and rushed in delivery to feel anything than hollow and artificial im sorry 💀💀 we knew her for 2h and that shes super sick and sad about it and lied to us from the start and thats warranting the kind of overblown emotional response in the cutscene when shes offed from TB??? yeah its giving delusion factory lmao what a joke

like granted fireflys VA was doing the absolute MOST to sell the act and all the props to her like the performance was excellent but i am. never. going to give a shit about a character whose entire manner of introduction and narrative presence equals to the writers smugly fanning themselves at their so-called genius because of COURSE youll keel over in awe and fawn all over this character uwuwu AND youll like it!!!!! as they gleefully shove it down your throat

like when the fucking LYNCHPIN of an emotional arc presupposes that every single player is absolutely obligated to feel soooo super emotionally attached OwO to the one character thats so blatantly designed to be the most formulaic fucking bait for self inserting and setup for a predictable kick the puppy moment its just..... this isnt it chief ugh i hate it

unironically worst part of the entire TB quest i am. Never going to be the target audience for this shit

like. logically ik part of this is just bc i am just.so vehemently opposed to this trope that i start developing a violent allergic rash the second i smell even the hint of the archetype so i was like. Groaning from the second it became obvious it was going to be another ayaka story quest (which didnt take long). like shes not as offensive as a character as my vitriolic dislike of her archetype suggests but shes easily the weakest aspect of the new story and just subpar writing it suckkssss

like robins death was EASILY vastly more emotionally impactful and shocking bc at least it came out of left field. firefly gets merked and im rolling my eyes bc its just so embarrassing lmao like. was the lesson they took from ayaka that her circumstances werent sad and sympathy baity enough to warrant attachment and thought the solution was to just make hsr ayaka-teppei Super Giga Mega Tragic omgggg. God im tired of this shit

like to be clear im just. such a hater for this trope i dont think its fucking humanely possible to make me like it but i was hoping for firefly to be at least like. Tolerable. let us remain apprehensive and wary throughout and then let those players who get attached to her project those feelings into their experience but NOT presume their existence by default in order for the story to work but. Well. guess they never learned the right lessons eh

im fucking begging her not to play any more significant role going forward i cannot stand it

im sorry firefly you deserved better than this clumsy ass embarrassment of a writing and im sorry ill never be able to like you as a character. your VA was pulling all the stops and your design is visually quite pretty but. it is what it is. im less mad as im just disappointed that it ended up rhe same old formulaic sympathy bait after all.

[anniesfarce]

so co-mod and i have played this game a few times with the cpds characters, "guess who but with vibes." (insp by this video) each of us will pick one character and ask the other yes/no questions about their "vibes" to determine via process of elimination which cpds character the other has picked!

we've played this a few times, but i thought i would share the first round we ever played, and maybe you can play along? (we played by having a full list of the characters up and striking them out as questions eliminated them.)

we originally played this going back and forth with questions, but for readability's sake, i've separated his character and mine, so you'll only see questions and responses about one character at a time. i've also edited this to fix typos as well as condensing and eliminating some of the chatty bits.

first character

L: would this person post minion memes unironically?

R: yes i think so

L: for reference, i took out 3. would your character, after walking into a door, deny it ever happened?

R: no

L: they wouldn't deny it?

R: yeah they wouldn't deny it, i don't think

L: ooh tricky. i took down two. i just feel like i'm making the wrong decisions here. would this person talk during a movie?

R: ahh i'm conflicted about this. i think yes.

L: two down

R: oh no that's seven down for you??

L: wait but if you were conflicted...

R: you're almost there??

L: i'm doubting my final two ngl but we'll see. we'll just have to see if i'll have to start over from scratch or something. in the video once both have guessed wrong, they reveal who and figure out where they went wrong. if you've picked jonathan i'm rebelling. would your character pick flowers from a neighbour's garden?

R: i think so. yes.

[L was ready to make a guess, but we decided that you can't ask a question and guess on the same turn.]

L: can i tell u my guess now

R: okay submit your guess :)

L: is it max

R: no :(

L: aw man. who was it?

R: mine was annie

L: aw MAN. i'm pretty sure it was the movie bit that did her in

R: oh yeah i was conflicted on that. but i felt like on balance she probably would talk during a movie. not in theatres though just like at home lol

L: oooh good point. i actually did start thinking jonathan might. i was like hm well i didn't think jonathan would but also he might...

R: hold on i want to know who did you eliminate for the minion memes one

L: ha ha um trevor robert and chris

R: you were very right ha ha

second character

L: ur turn

R: would they break into a petting zoo to pet the animals?

L: no i don't think so

R: conflicted because there are some people i'm borderline on if i should cross them off for that lol i'm just like i could see them doing this but i don't think they would just do it spontaneously on their own. unlike Certain Others. you're still ahead of me, i knocked off two. would this person ride a bike to work? regularly, i mean.

L: no. i think literally the only person this would eliminate is jonathan (jokes)

R: lol well i've eliminated two so i guess our feelings differ. i hope the person i eliminated was not the person you are thinking of! maybe this is a bad question but it's all i could think of: would this person smoke?

L: hmm no

R: was sort of hoping you'd say yes :/

L: sorry

R: i still have a whole three people left in the mix ha ha would your person enjoy a jane austen novel?

L: yes

R: i have it like 75/25 rn

L: okay u can ask me another question or just guess, whatever's fine with u ha ha

R: okay... is it sandra

L: yes

R: YES

L: gg

R: gg!!!! that was hard!

L: was it jane austen that tipped ya off?

R: of course it was, i was trying to eliminate robert tbh

L: ha ha i'm surprised robert stayed in for so long

R: and annie has not struck me as a jane austen enjoyer, but i thought Maybe

[undeadentropy]

in response to your girl dinner post, people on tumblr tend to use it in a neutral way, as a way of almost personifying their action, or making it more notable (ex: "blogging about the horrors" vs "girblogging these horrors").

if i recall correctly, there also used to be a thing where people would post "the [insert gender] urge to [insert thing]" and gender wouldn't matter whatsover in the statement, again to make statements more notable (ex: "the feminine urge to get on all fours and start scaling the walls" or "the nonbinary urge to throw pebbles at moving cars").

unfortunately, tiktok took these things and made gender essentialism 2, simplifying these "feminine and masculine urges" to be "innate to the genders they pertain to". y'know. like a bunch of poorly informed kids trying to figure out their values on the internet do.

theres also the yaoi/yuri thing, which is a whole other debacle, basically replacing the gender as a whole with the definitions/tropes of yaoi and yuri ("doing fuckall" and "deep yearning, difficulty, and thematic elements" respectively) as a means of elaborating on how it feels to be in a situation or do an action (ex: "hanging out in a coffee shop is so yaoi coded", implying they're not doing anything important aside from hanging out with or joking around with another person)

hope this helped, sorry it's so long

Thank you, I was so very confused. I just remember it being a joke sort of thing. I didn't realize people were doing it unironically now, and was confused by the backlash.

[arent-i-the-fairest]

can i request readers calling the dorm leaders more “feminine” nicknames? like doll, doll face, princess etc

𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬(𝐞𝐬) <𝟑

author’s note : hehe thank you so much to everyone who suggested some nicknames for this!! you were a great help! and thank you anon for requesting, i really enjoyed writing this! ♡

riddle rosehearts

“oh, so you’re here. so glad you could make it to the unbirthday party.” riddle smiles, taking a seat next to you.

“i would be breaking a rule if i didn’t show up, wouldn’t i? but, i suppose respecting the queen’s rules isn’t the only reason i come here— i like seeing you!” you flick his ahoge. “—my queen.”

gets all shy for a moment, asking “why not just stick to the ‘regular’ nicknames?”— no, don’t look so disappointed! he didn’t say that he doesn’t like them! . . but h-hey, don’t go around telling everyone he loves them, either!

but jokes aside, he doesn’t mind them! thinks they’re quite cute, actually— but he has a lot of trouble admitting it. he absolutely won’t tell you which ones he likes the most, but you don’t even need to ask. you can tell which ones he really likes whenever you call him it— it’s all in his expression! his face goes all pink and he pouts, how cute!

but anyways, yes, his favorites— two of them are sugar and lady! riddle’s a fan of both sappy and fancy-sounding nicknames.

leona kingscholar

“took you long enough to get here.” leona grunts. you laugh, setting your stuff down on his bed. “sorry princess!”

his ears perk up. “… princess?”

squints real hard at you. he’s not sure how he feels, there’s one part of him that goes “i do not care” and another that’s going “but i’m a manly man, u can’t just go around calling me ‘princess’ >:(” —but he decides to tell you knock it off with the nickname. you say no. what does leona do now? shrug his shoulders and say “ok”.

ends up he doesn’t care enough to protest after all. ^ ^ (this is also how most minor conflicts— if you can even call this a conflict??— between the two of you end (＾ω＾) )

but still, he’s nooot really the keenest about these nicknames (or so he says), so he doesn’t have any favorites. won’t even tell you which ones he even slightly likes! boo.

azul ashengrotto

“angelfish, i’m quite sure floyd would be much more willing to horse around with you than i am right now; i’ve got contracts to make.” azul taps his pen against the table.

you fall back into a seat with a sigh. “i thought you were done with those yesterday? no matter, there’s a bigger issue here— and it’s that i’m bored. and don’t wanna play with floyd.” last time you did that, you nearly ended up with a broken rib.

“c’mon, please hang out with me, wifey!”

azul hates being flustered— and these nicknames make him feel exactly that. but he’s so conflicted because he actually likes them and how they sound!! it’s just that he melts every time he hears you call him one— no, it’s not a good thing! he’s a professional yada yada ‘n he can’t let people see him going pink over being called “princess” or somethin’!

but moving on, his favorite nicknames. hmm, i feel that azul’s the type that’s weak for nicknames in foreign languages— especially romance languages. hermosa, bonita, he’s shbdjsbfjsjs

kalim al-asim

“y/nnnn!!” kalim yells, shoving his way through the crowd of people (and giving little apologies every time he bumps into someone)— “y/n! jamil said yes to having that party i was talking about this morning!”

“ohh, kalim! i’m so happy, doll! you bet i’ll show up!”

doesn’t even blink lol. he doesn’t care in the slightest! he uses all sorts of nicknames— more feminine, more masculine, or ambiguous— with pretty much everyone he knows! (as long as they’re okay with it, hehe) so yeah, he’s not all too surprised to hear one like that used on himself! he likes it though!

for kalim’s favorite nicknames!! there’s actually quite a lot, but just two of them are babygirl (unironically)— and wifey!!! (kalim and y/n wedding when?)

vil schoenheit

“hm, i knew i could count on you.” vil smiles, taking some bags from your hands. “thank you kindly for running those errands for me.”

“of course, my queen!”

actually really pleased that you’ve moved to using more feminine nicknames on him, as he finds a lot of them more beautiful (??) like, they just sound prettier, y’know? which means they’re fitting for him!

but while he does find a lot of them pretty or cute, he’s picky with which ones you can call him by! he wants you to stick to more regal sounding ones, so his favorites, of course, include things like my queen, princess, yada yada!

idia shroud

“idia.” you poke at his arm a couple of times, but his gaze on the screen didn’t budge. “idia..” you sigh. he gives you a little pat, hoping it’ll satisfy you. “y/n, i can’t spend a second not playing this— i started grinding for materials a little too late, and this is a limited event! limited!”

“c’mon, at least help me out with this one math question!” you huff. “please, angel?” “—?!”

idia loves being called feminine nicknames, and that is the hill i will die on

.. well, secretly loves being called feminine nicknames. he made a bit of a fuss, going “aaah, hey, that’s embarrassing! i’m a guy, y’know!” as if he wasn’t internally squealing and kicking his feet. he puts up this front pretty much every time you use a “girly” nickname on him, and it always makes you laugh.

idia’s favorite nicknames..? all of them. he’s all over the place.

malleus draconia

(this was all really just supposed to be a prank at first— but you found using the nicknames on him cute, so you kept going with it!)

you ran up to mal, who was just chillin’ at a table, and leaned against it. “hey babygirl.”

straight up just “isn’t that a nickname you’d use on a woman??” and you’ve gotta explain you can really use it for anyone you want— he listens, and boom, malleus is enlightened. and he is all for these nicknames.

—it did take him a minute to get used to them though~ but they grew on pretty quick! he doesn’t really know if it’s because he likes how they sound or because you’re giving them to him out of adoration. probably a mix of both!

malleus is another one who adores all the nicknames! they’re all his favorites!

[hotxcheeto]

nsfw alphabet for chloe price?

━ 𝐂𝐇𝐋𝐎𝐄 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Chloe Price X G/N!Reader 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Afab reader mentions, NSFW, basically smut all under the cut, cursing?

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - Sorry this took so long lovely!!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Cleans you and her up and cuddles, loves to kiss you afterwards and gets kind of clingy. Sometimes she'll smoke a blunt while you lay on her chest watching whatever's playing on your laptop or dead asleep while she watches something. Likes to chill, most of the time especially at night she'll just pass out though.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Chloe loves her hands unironically. Hands because of her love of touching you, or when you hold her hands and paint her nails. Loves to touch you, running her hands up and down your hips and sides. Loves when you hold her hand at anytime, especially during sex.

For you, she loves... you. You're hot, she can't quite pick a favorite area. But your arms are up there, especially feeling you holding her, wrapped around her neck or back, nails scraping her skin while she fucks the life out of you. That's a plus.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Doesn't gross her out much, finds it hot when you cum. Loves watching your face when you cum, gets a bit frustrated if you cover your face. When she's feeling really dominate she'll shove her fingers in your mouth and make you lick them clean. Loves her hands, let me tell you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

She's always wanted to some sexy things outside of the house. Has a bit of a out in public kink but doesn't really talk about it. But if you're both at a bar, don't mind her banging you in the bathroom.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

In Before the Storm we do know she was hooking up with Eli*t as a outlet so she's not a virgin that's for sure. She's also watched porn, she'll admit so she's definetely got some stuff under her belt and she knows how to pleasure and please you. But experimenting is her middle name, you wanna try something? If it's not too far, she's diving head first.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When/If she uses a strap, she loves when you ride her. Smoking on your desk chair while you ride the plastic dick is her favorite sight. But besides that she loves in general being able to see your face, especially when you cum. That'll make her orgasm just by seeing it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Depends, high sex with Chloe is some of the funniest yet best sex ever. The orgasms feel out of this planet but you both are definetely giggly and very sloppy during it. Now when she's angry or just straight fucking you, she's a lot more serious and dominate. But saying a little lighthearted joke every once in a while doesn't completely ruin the moment for her.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Doesn't care for a long time, until she met you. She'll trip whatever's happening down there but don't be disappointed, no she doesn't have blue pubes. Then again, she doesn't hate the idea... now that is something you both laugh about while high out of your minds.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

On her rough nights Chloe loves to make love. When she's her most vulnerable, just very emotional that day. Taking it slow and really pleasuring each other is something she cherishes. But most of the time you both are just fucking like rabbits, not much romance, you both are young and horny. Does love to hold you after.

J = Jack off (How often do they do it?)

Before you the girl was a horny mess, especially while high. But after you she doesn't really need to you. Like I just said, you both fuck like bunnies its kind of funny when you think about it. Chloe doesn't really find the need anymore unless she cannot be with you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Biting, Scratching, Mutual masturbation, sleepy/high sex, bondage (a bit light), slight voyeurism, overstimulation, degradation, praise, slight somnophilia (consensual) she loves to wake you up pleasuring you some days.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Her room, your room and basically anywhere else. Chloe will fuck you basically anywhere you're comfortable with but she loves her truck and fucking you on the seat of it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You. You're literally the walking embellishment of everything that turns Chloe on. You could smile at her and the girl is wet and ready to bang. A lot of her jokes turn into sex because of this. But she can read a room, and you guys aren't always fucking, don't worry.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurt you. Doesn't like the idea of really causing pain to you it makes her feel icky and really sad.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Both, not even gonna lie. Now she loves to give, Chloe likes to feel wanted and like you need her. Its her way of assuring herself you won't leave, but when you eat her own she's on fire. Gives me strong switch energy as in she's an amazing dom but when she subs she's needy especially when receiving oral.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

When you both are high, Chloe is very slobby and pretty slow but when you both are just fucking on a normal day. It's pretty rough, she prefers rough sex but will be soft for you don't worry. Just talk to her, but she isn't the fastest but she certainly isn't the slowest. On her more needy days, she'll more slower, more sensual. Treasures the moment.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Loves them. Especially in her truck or in the bathroom of whatever place your in. Chloe can get pretty needy sometimes, gotta make sure she stays focused.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

For sure, like I said earlier, she isn't afraid of experimenting unless it goes out of the realm of her morals. But will take a good risk. Especially during the quickies, the voyeurism side of her really starts to come to life.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

When high, a good 2-3 depending on how high you both are. But on a normal day, if she's really riled up she could for hours of you guys screwing. Again, she's a horny mess.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

If you're into it she's got a few straps, her favorite being a long and thick one. Midnight black colored. She's also got a few other colors and designs. Definetely has a few vibrators she'll use on herself under the strap or on you just to see you wither.

Has fluffy handcuffs. And she will use them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

BIGGEST TEASE IN THE WORLD. She drives you insane. Chloe will sit there and tease the hell out of you and loves it when you do it back. Especially if you're more on the shy side and you start to blush and get all flustered, you got her on her knees for you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Doesn't give a shit about how loud she is. Pornographic sounds fill the room when you both fuck, she definetely ain't quiet.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Whether you're shy, dominate, doesn't matter. You can get this girl on her damn knees for you, she's a big pleaser and when you let that side of you come out. She loves to be degraded and praised while she pleases you. Even when you're bottoming you've got a lot of the power because little Chloe's gotta please.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Horny little bitch like I've said this whole time. When high, she's clingy and she wants to fuck. But she knows that no means no, so if you're not feeling she's got herself don't worry.

Z = Zzz(how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Can and will pass out. But sometimes will smoke a blunt or something while watching a movie, messing with your hair or running her nails down your back while you sleep or lay there beside her. But dang, when she's ready to sleep the bitch is ready to sleep, gone in about 5 seconds, out like a light.

[ladyvesuvia]

You Think So? || [D.M.]

[Navigation] [Masterlist]

anon: reader falling asleep on draco’s lap in the common room and wakes up to hearing him ramble to his friends about how much he loves her😁?

Prompts:

you’re comfy

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!Slytherin!Reader

Requested?: yes

Summary: The reader wakes up to Draco talking about her to his friends in that way.

Words: 1.5k

Category: FLUFF

Warnings: not a warning but hehe frenemies to lovers

A/N: ok this is just short im so sorry it took so long i felt uninspired with it 😔

“I hate that Umbridge woman! I hate her with every single inch of my body.” [Y/N] storms into the Slytherin common room in anger. “I don’t think I’ve ever hated someone harder than Malfoy.”

“Did I just hear my name come out of your mouth, [Y/L/N]?” He had entered the common room, shutting the door to his dormitory silently as Slytherins shuffled past. Some just wanted to rest while the others mumbled something about ‘hogging the good spots.’

“Yes, yours and the entirety of your ancestors. You’re not so special, you know.” [Y/N] seated herself in front of the fireplace, watching the flames dance like fairy folk. She almost flinched from the rolled-up piece of paper getting thrown from behind her — Pansy had crumpled up the second essay she tried to make and had thrown it into the fire. [Y/N] would have launched into a full-on lecture on why you shouldn’t waste paper but she didn’t even have the energy for that.

“I don’t know, she’s not that bad.” Draco seated himself on the couch and bobbed his leg up and down, and [Y/N] could just see it clearly from her peripheral vision. It irritated her deeply.

“Stop that.”

He did it faster, a cocky grin on his pale face.

“Stop that! Oh, you — !” Fists clenched, she stood up and approached the boy. His face widened in fear, but soon reddened instead when she plopped down on his lap and looked up at him. “That ought to shut you up.”

Her.

On.

His.

Lap.

Unironically.

Draco gulped, as if it would keep him from turning into a literal tomato. He cleared his throat. “What’s this?”

She scowled up at him and brought her the back of her palm up to her eyes. “Shut up, Malfoy. You’re comfy and I’m tired.”

Pansy let a out slow whistle as she walked over to Blaise’s sofa and sat on the arm, a suggestive smile on her face. “Yeah, Draco, she’s tired.”

The other three continued talking about class and the teachers. After the rest cracked jokes and realized [Y/N] had not moved or at least giggled, they fell into a different kind of silence. All eyes were on Draco now.

“What d’you got there on your lap, Malfoy?” said Blaise. Draco scowled once more. When Draco didn’t respond, Pansy took it as an indication of her turn to nag.

“Why don’t you stand up, Malfoy?” The two giggled as they watched Draco cross his arms (gently, as to not wake her up).

Pansy stood up from the chair’s arm and walked over to take a peek at [Y/N], who was resting peacefully in Draco’s lap, her hand now gone from her face. “Oh, I don’t blame you, she looks peaceful.”

“She does, doesn’t she?” said Draco in the most sultry voice. This earned snickers from the other two, and so he cleared his throat. “I mean, she’s so all over me.”

Looking back down on the girl on his lap, he found himself wishing he could trail the wrinkles on her face. If she knew he was thinking about this, she’d squeeze his ear and accuse him of making fun of her insecurities. He passed off a laugh as a sound of understanding as Pansy and Blaise talked about something else he did not know about, for he was busy studying her.

Slowly, the common room started to empty and the conversation went back to them. “So, Draco, when’re you waking her up?” asked Blaise, who was now sitting in front of the fireplace, arms crossed. “You haven’t moved for a while now.” Pansy laughed along with him.

Truth be told, Draco’s back ached, but he couldn’t bring himself to push her off of him. She was too peaceful. . .

The two bursted into laughter. [Y/N] stirred in her sleep, shifting and now facing his chest, eyes still closed. “You’re gonna wake her up!” He hissed.

“Do you not want her to?” asked one of the two. Once again, he didn’t know who. What the heck was he feeling and why?

Draco wanted to argue, but it was far more foolish to deny it. “Maybe I don’t.”

Blaise let out a slow whistle, and pulled something shiny from his pocket and slapped it into Pansy’s palm, which was held out before her, a triumphant grin stretching on her face. Draco’s face must’ve been question enough, for Pansy stood from the fireplace to occupy the other couch and started talking.

“I knew you’d fold first.”

“What do you mean fold?”

“He betted [Y/N] would catch feelings before you. I knew better!” Pansy held out a miniature jar between her fingers as the sound of Galleons sounded from inside it. “So you fancy her, yes?”

“What? No! It’s just rude to wake someone up like that.” Draco’s eyes fell to [Y/N]’s sleeping figure again.

“Oh, please, when have you ever cared for that crap?”

“He’s a romantic now. How cute.” Blaise stood up from the floor to pace around the room. When Draco didn’t speak, Blaise trudged back to the spot in front of the fireplace again, but facing Draco. “So do you fancy her?”

“No,” he said rather defiantly, as the other two exchanged glances. “Yeah, I guess. . .Maybe?”

“I knew it again!” Pansy rose from her seat in exclamation, laughing at Blaise’s face, pointing. “You’re bad at this.”

“Come on, Malfoy, I’m betting on you. What’s with the sudden mushiness?” Blaise dug his hand into his pocket again. This time, he had to walk over to Pansy to drop five galleons into her palm.

“That’s ten galleons, Zabini.” She in turn put her winnings into her own pocket. When the banter died down, they started asking questions he would rather not know the answer to.

Since when, Draco? ‘What do you mean ‘Since when?’

Why? ‘What?’

So are you going to ask her out to Hogsmeade next weekend? ‘I’m not.’

Why not? ‘I don’t—’

You probably should—

“Alright, stop. I kinda like her. No — do not interrupt me — I will not ask her out to Hogsmeade. But, sure, I guess I do like her which, now as I say it, sounds peculiar because I’ve spent my entire life at Hogwarts exchanging insults with her. But, I mean, look at her. She’s. . .peaceful. Like, how could someone be divine and chaotic at the same time? It’s not that I like her that way, but, I mean, she’s on my lap and—”

“Boo, you sound like Potter. ‘I mean, she’s— I mean, she’s—‘ This is too mushy for me, I’m out. Good night, toads.” And with a snap, she yawned and went to her dormitories, Blaise going soon after as well, yawning as he walked away.

Draco looked down at her face again. “You really do look beautiful, though.”

“You think so?” Her eyes fluttered open, and he could’ve sworn he almost flipped over the sofa as she stood up from his lap. He honestly wanted her to lie back down. [Y/N] looked back at his panic-stricken face. “Well, that’s charming. Keep your mouth shut, would you?”

“You— You heard all that?” inquired Draco, the horror not leaving his face.

“Yeah, they laugh too loud.” She yawned.

“No arguing on that one.”

Just like Pansy and Blaise did, Draco and [Y/N] laughed together. She saw his shoulders relax, the tension all gone now. “Woah, woah, no kissing yet. My breath smells bad right now.”

He didn’t respond.

“What, no insulting retort? That’s new.”

“What do you mean yet?”

“I like you too, dimwit.” In every single conversation they had, Draco had a smirk or a smug grin or at least a hint of either of the two on his face but right now as he stared back at her, he was only watching her curiously. “And I think we should go to Hogsmeade first before getting all mushy, to quote Pansy.”

Once again, he didn’t respond.

“You know, for a Slytherin, you’re not so cunning and ambitious, huh?”

“What?”

She paid what he said no mind. “Well, I’m happy to inform you I’m very much the two of those.” [Y/N] hopped up from the sofa and leaned back down, her face dangerously close to his. “I’ll see you at Hogsmeade.” She went closer, and he thought she was gonna kiss him but she only pressed her lips against his cheek.

What just happened?

“Good night, Draco.” But as she began to march back to the dorms, Draco finally found his voice and so went after her, pulled her by the wrist, and pulled her into him.

“Wha — ?”

No questions were asked as he pressed his own lips into hers. There was no way she’d have the last word. When he pulled away, the smug look was present once more.

“No,” he said, tucking a stray strand of hair into her ear. It was her turn to look dumbfounded. “Goodnight, [Y/N].”

And with that, he turned away and marched into his dormitories as he childishly planned the date in his imagination and thought about how much he’d very much want for her to sleep on his lap again.

Taglist: @gingerale2017 @fives-cup-of-coffee @hey-there-angels @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts