#NO FEAR OF THE FUTURE NO ANXIETY NO DEPRESSION NOT A SINGLE FEELING OF BEING INADEQUATE AND THE ONE TIME ONE PF THEM FAILED SOMETHING IT WAS | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ashlingiswriting · 1 year ago

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do i know you? chapter seven

[ 5.4k words ] [ masterlist ] [ prev chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six ] you figure you can be good and still take it a little easier. that’s all you’ve done today, take it a little easier, and it feels really fucking good. richie jerimovich x reader, past mikey berzatto x reader, slow burn

after an eleven-hour stretch of sleep, a three-egg breakfast, and cautious self-reflection, you come to the conclusion that something has to change. and fast. yesterday, richie fucking jerimovich—constant leather jacket tracksuit combo, stab wound, aggravated assault charge, and anxiety and depression diagnoses, that richie—asked you if you were okay. it was a reasonable question for him to ask, and giving him the truthful answer felt like peeling off your own skin.

usually you’d cut and run—you’re not big on torture—but richie’s become as much a fixture in your life as cigarettes themselves. whatever you go through with him, you have a feeling that things would be worse without. so you do the reasonable thing.

you go to the library and google ‘how to stay mentally healthy.’

sure, it makes you feel like an idiot, but it’s not like you have other options. your health and benefits package consists of stolen medications, a grizzled retired doctor named beth, and weirdly extravagant christmas presents in years when the carusos are doing well. none of these qualify as conducive to mental health.

thus, doctor google. most of the listed mental health tips seem either impossible—you’re not about to make new social connections, you’re not that self destructive—or plain old stupid, as in a stress ball. like a little rubber ball to squeeze. great stuff.

there’s a few things that you think you can tolerate, though. you end up working out every day in your apartment, volunteer stocking the shelves of a food pantry every tuesday morning right before bed, and tackle the miserably unorganized state of your post-michael finances. occasionally you’ll eat a salad, but you’ll curse richie as you do it.

cultivating mental health for its own sake is not something you’d usually engage in, but mental health as a one-sided competition that you are determined not to lose? it’s a tolerable game.

as for richie, he seems to be holding steady. the new and horrifyingly fancy specter of the bear does seem to freak him out, but at least the bear’s got a future. the beef, as far as you remember, only ever had a past.

though this winter’s turned bitter cold, you never invite him inside, not even past the double doors into the pathetic excuse of a lobby with its single fake potted plant. you had your one little breakdown and that’s fine. but the rules stay strong, and you get a little stronger. he tells you that eva liked the girl who loved horses the best, and you tell him she’s got good taste. there’s still bad nights, but there’s less fear. you haven’t fucked it up, that’s the point. you’re being good.

and then one day he doesn’t come back.

you’re not a fool. you wait for three days before letting yourself go.

on the third day, you have to wake up to administer alessandera’s iud at the stupidly early hour of eleven in the morning. afterwards, too caffeinated to rest, you decide that you might as well head to the library to check his instagram.

the most recent picture is from eight days ago, so that’s no help. his two pinned posts catch your attention anyway. in the first picture, eva’s got two blonde ponytails sticking out of opposite sides of her head, and her ponytail holders have huge round sky blue plastic beads on them. the smears of chocolate on her fingers match the ones on richie’s cheek, and they’re both giving the camera a goofy thumbs up.

in the second picture, it’s him and michael. they’re both grinning, squinting against the evening sun, and staring at something or someone just out of frame. lake michigan spreads out glorious behind their shoulders. it was probably a fishing trip. it’s got to be an old ass photo, cause they’re both wearing shirts that say the original berf of chicago and you stole michael’s in the summer of 2020. you needed to have something of his during quarantine, and you kept it even after quarantine ended. it’s still folded away in your dresser, protected by mothballs.

michael disappeared on you too. after you broke up, you kept texting him about meeting to give him back some of his things, but he wouldn’t answer. to be fair, all you had to do was ride the elevator up a couple floors and drop off a box by his door. but you kept texting him anyways, texting on into the silence, until finally it occurred to you: he was punishing you. two could play at that game. you stopped texting altogether, and that’s when it happened.

this is no number of push-ups or good deeds or leafy greens in the world that can defend against an experience like that. the silence was supposed to only last a week, a month at most, and then it became forever.

so yeah, you go to the beef. the bear. whatever.

so much for being good.

the restaurant is closed for renovations, so you go around to the back and find an unusual pair sitting, eating sandwiches off paper plates, and arguing about greta gerwig’s little women. you recognize both of them from richie’s instagram.

fak breaks off mid-rant and peers up at you from under his baseball hat, as bright-eyed as a squirrel spotting a potential nut. syd, on the other hand, looks neat and cool in an apron, kerchief, and cautious expression. she’s by far the more intimidating of the two to you, though maybe that’s just richie’s influence coming through. she’s on another level and you know it.

can i help you? syd says.

yeah, you say. where’s richie?

he’s out sick.

out sick, that makes sense. relief warms you like the first sip of hot coffee on an icy morning, and then you clock the expression on syd’s face. she’s shifted from suspicious to outright dubious.

why, she adds, does he owe you money?

ah, fuck. you were so worried that you forgot that when you’re wearing your big coat and your stoic face, you look like trouble.

nah, you say. he doesn’t owe me anything. is he okay?

from the way she stares, syd must think you bizarre, but she humors you. i mean, two days ago he texted me a video of three chimpanzees attacking a gorilla. is that okay? she shrugs. you tell me.

he’s such a fucking weirdo. why?

i don’t know, i told him that one of the restaurants i used worked at was a vegan place and he’s been sending me shit like that ever since. am i vegan? no, i’m not, but why should that make any difference, you know? who knows why richie does what he does.

who knows, you say. it’s fun to grumble about richie, but you don’t actually find him mysterious. one or two scares aside, he’s the easiest person to understand in the whole city.

i should probably call him, you say. can i borrow your phone?

sydney looks even more weirded out than before for a second, and then she seems to have a lightbulb moment, just as you see the back door opening.

he does owe you money, doesn’t he? syd says, exasperated, but not surprised.

quién le debe dinero a quién? says somebody in an undertone, and then tina appears, her curly hair a little shorter than the last time you saw her, but otherwise unchanged. when she sees you, her expression breaks into a smile of welcome while her eyes get complicated.

hey, julie, she says. how you doing?

usually, you hate it when people ask you that. but with her, you just don’t.

doing okay, tina. you?

oh, we’re doing good, right, chef? she says, with a fond glance at syd that seems to invite her in.

still fighting for our lives with an auditor, but yeah, syd says. we’re on track.

you want to walk with me? tina says to you, and you nod, grateful that she seems to have instinctively guessed what you need.

while you’re strolling out of earshot of the others, syd heads inside, which puts you on a ticking clock. the chances of carmy knowing your actual name are slim, but the chances of him coming out into the alley to investigate? those are dangerously high.

tina interrupts your train of thought, stopping by the chain link fence and turning to face you.

so what’s wrong? she says, and though she’s as warm and genuine as before, you are reminded by the glint in her eyes that she’s perceptive and tough and not to be fucked with. no wonder michael loved her so much. she was one of the few people who knew how to love him back without drowning.

does there have to be something wrong? you say.

not necessarily. but historically speaking? she says it almost apologetically.

yeah.

you only ever met her two times, both in his apartment, once in the dead of night and once in the middle of the day. you remember meeting her, but that’s all. in your mind, each emergency blends into the nexxt, and you don’t probe them for details. all you remember is that one time she was there, you called for an ambulance even though he ordered you not to, and he hated that. tina stood firm and carried on amidst all the shouting, even when you lost it.

it’s a wonder she’s being kind to you now, actually.

i still carry the narcan in my purse, tina says.

the nasal spray? you say. the stuff that you gave her after the scare in october ‘21. that’s good. gonna find somebody savable eventually, right? and that comes out way more bitter than you meant it to, but you can’t figure out a way to take it back fast enough.

there’s a hint of steel to tina’s voice, a reminder that she’s deliberately granting you her patience and could revoke it at any time, when she repeats, so what’s wrong?

you take out your burner phone, your sad little nokia, and show it to her.

i busted my old phone, lost all my contacts, and i don’t have the money for a new one right now, so this artifact is all i got. do you have richie’s number? you say meekly.

sure, she says, pulling it up and handing it over so easy that you’re startled. you’re not used to being given something that you need simply because you asked for it.

you take her phone with a quiet thanks and start typing his number and address into your own.

i looked for you at the funeral, she says. it stings, whether she meant it to or not.

well, you say, still typing and glad of the excuse to not look up at tina’s face, i figured i’d spare his mom the fun of having multiple women show up.

that’s not a fair hit, not the full story, but you don’t bother to clarify.

to your surprise, she doesn’t give you what you deserve. instead, she says, you still mad at him?

why even ask. aren’t you?

i was never mad at him.

you have to look up, and not just because you’ve run out of stuff to type.

never? that’s impossible.

not after, tina says, her brown honest. he was just a kid, you know?

he was a thief and an addict and older than you. but yeah, you know. you really do. he was just a kid.

you want to tell tina that she’s a better woman than you are, that to love and forgive at the same time is a trick that you can only envy. but you don’t know how to say that.

there’s another version, too, a simpler one, one that doesn’t compare the two of you. she’s sunlight and she’s concrete, the type of kindness that defies the laws of physics, and you can’t figure out how to say that to her either.

how are you doing? you say instead. you already asked her, but you didn’t really ask her in the way she had asked you. this time you try to do it right.

from the way she smiles, you know you got close.

i’m good, she says. really. all the stuff they’ve got us up to out here? herbs and shit, fucking french. i don’t know, it’s working. and they’re gonna send me to the cia.

delight looks good on her, and it’s infectious. you say, why not the fbi?

the culinary institute of america, dummy.

oh shit, the level up machine. you’ve heard of it before, of course, because it seems to have turned carmy into a rock star, so that’s gotta be a good thing, right? you gonna come back, kick his ass, and take over?

she grins. girl, you know i could already do that if i felt like it.

true, true. you’re grinning too, and god, it feels good.

and then, glancing over her shoulder at the sudden sound, you can see the back door open.

thank you, tina. you hand her the phone back, quick. if she notices the sudden change in you, she doesn’t let on.

anytime, she says, and presses her wrapped sandwich in your hand. here.

i can’t take your lunch.

she waves you off. nah, there’s more where that came from.

hey tina, a voice calls. it’s carmy’s, so you keep your eyes trained on tina and hope he doesn't recognize you at that distance.

thanks again, you say, and then you flee, clutching your sandwich.

richie doesn’t pick up and your first call goes to voicemail. you’re wound too tight to enjoy the bill murray of it all, so you just hang up and call again.

he picks up after the third ring.

what? he growls.

hey asshole, where are you, you say, just as abruptly, but so pleased to hear his voice.

richie barely skips a beat. you dont have to kill me, i’m already fucking dying, he says, which is his idea of reassurance.

yeah?

i mean, i’m alive, he says, like it’s a great concession. but for how long?

not much longer. where are you.

dead silence. this, you did not expect and have no idea what to do with. you snap, richie, where the fuck are you? in a voice that makes a passing woman give you a wide berth on the sidewalk.

calm your tits, secret agent. i’m on my fucking deathbed with saltines and espn, jesus christ. everything’s fine.

you’d really like to strangle him, but you don’t miss his hint. that’s his way of letting you out of this, secret agent, everything’s fine, so don’t cross a line and then regret it. thoughtful of him, but you’re already a world expert in regret. you’ve weighed your odds, you’ll take your chances.

i’ll be there in twenty, you say, unless you tell me to fuck off.

there’s a split second of hesitation before he says, will you bring me a popsicle?

no.

you hang up. then you go and buy some popsicles.

you dig out the ring of keys from your pocket, another inheritance. the gold key is for michael’s old place, the silver is for the beef, and the square-headed one is for richie’s. when you turn it in the lock, the door to his apartment swings open, easy as pie.

his apartment is a mess. worse, it’s dead dull, with only a few old movie posters hung up over the off-white walls for decoration. at least it doesn’t smell. there’s a kitchenette to your left, one huge and incongruously new ikea wardrobe to your right, and across from you, his bed. it’s shoved up right next to the far window, so the deep windowsill serves as a side table to a tiny succulent and a laptop streaming espn.

richie’s sprawled out sans blanket and sheets, which are all huddled in a lump at the foot of the bed. he’s not bothering to watch espn and he doesn’t bother to get up at the sound the door opening, either. just looks over and watches you.

you lock the door behind you and take your shoes off out of habit, even though you know you might have to get out fast. as you walk over to him, you encounter some dirty laundry along the way and kick it into the corner. then you’re at hit bedside, looking down at richie.

he’s lying there in a worn out grey t-shirt, looking up at you muzzy-eyed, sweating, and unsurprised.

come to finish me off? he says.

after a second, you say, open your mouth.

he gives you a look that says, i could argue if i fucking felt like it, but then he does open wide with a little aah like a kid getting his tonsils checked.

you take a quick glance inside, then close your hand to imitate a mouth closing, fingers meeting thumb.

he does as instructed, but you can tell by the glint in his eye that he’s got a joke locked and loaded, so you lean over and put the back of your hand to his forehead before he can say a thing.

as you expected, he goes quiet. his skin is hot and damp with sweat.

after a second, you withdraw and straighten up, touch still echoing on the on the back of your hand.

yeah, you’re fine, you say. dehydrated, low fever, but you’re fine.

and here i thought i was dying, richie says. he’s not usually subtle, but for once you can’t tell if he’s mocking you or not. is that for me?

he reaches for the plastic bag hanging from your shoulder, and you yank it back out of reach just in time.

business first. when did you take your last tylenol?

richie slumps sulkily back onto his pillow with a petulant look. you’re no fun when you’re in doctor mode.

then don’t get sick, asshole. tylenol?

this morning, he says, and then before you can volley a follow-up, he skips ahead. bathroom, behind the mirror.

as a reward, you sling the plastic grocery bag onto his bed before you go investigate.

sure enough, there’s a miniature pharmacy on the two small shelves behind the foldable mirror. at first glance, the only prescription stuff is xanax and pravastatin. you grab the tylenol and you’re just about to go when you notice, down at the bottom left corner, a small familiar white box edged in magenta. four milligrams of narcan, nasal spray, your old friend. you gave tina way more of it than she needed and told her to pass it on to anyone at the beef that she trusted, just in case. narcan’s not a cure, it just buys you a little time. that’s all you were doing by then, buying yourselves a little time.

looking at the box now, you suddenly feel sorry for richie. it’s been bad enough for you, and you’ve been living like a fucking vampire, no daylight, barely leaving your lair. richie’s had to go into the outside world, and the outside world fucking sucks. michael’s everywhere out there.

when you get back with the tylenol, richie has a grape popsicle already stuck in his mouth, the extra package of saltines on the windowsill by his side, and your sandwich in his hands. he’s trying to unwrap it when you snatch it away and deposit a tylenol in his palm instead.

with a shrug, he takes the popsicle out of his mouth and swallows the tylenol dry.

trying not to think too hard about that, you turn away and head to the kitchen.

cups? you say.

upper left. he’s watching you make your way through his space, you can feel it. so you went to the beef, huh.

yup. in the upper cabinet, there’s an assortment of cups, none of them matching. you pick the plastic one with dora the explorer on it, then go fill that with water.

richie says, you talk to carmy?

no, you say, with just enough edge on it to warn him off the subject. on your way back to his bedside, you pause to peek in his fridge and freezer. fuck me, did nobody ever teach you that man cannot live on microwave burritos alone?

news to me. what are you, some kind of fuckin gourmet?

you complete your circuit, come perch on the edge of his bed with the cup in your hand, and wait for him to sit up.

woman can live on frozen pizzas alone, that’s a whole different thing, you say.

uh huh. he slumps back against the headboard, then accepts the cup from you and drinks. in the silence, you watch him. the small movements of his throat, the glint of gold slipping out over the nape of his neck. he wears that cross even in his sleep. hopefully it protects him. something should.

you could sit here for a long time.

but the cup runs out of water fast, and there goes your excuse. you take it back from him and say, just for the sake of saying something, your interior design is severely lacking.

he scrunches up his nose when he smiles, a wry little smile interrupted by a sniff. thanks.

go back to sleep.

but he doesn’t. instead, he reaches for the remaining half of his grape popsicle, so you go for your sandwich, unwrap, and take a bite. this is as good as the middle of the night to your body clock, so you’re not one bit hungry. but food works just as well as a cigarette, permission for silence.

you get a sando and i get saltines? he says. talk about a raw deal, man.

mouth full, you say, these are actually pretty good, you know?

what, you didn’t think they would be? he scoffs. c’mon, i know you were never a regular, but the thing with the gun, that wasn’t your first time in.

so he remembered you. even before he knew you had any kind of connection to the beef, he remembered you.

you pretend not to notice.

i’ve just never had it with the peppers before, you say.

you’ve never had it with the peppers? his voice rises with each word.

i’m not normally a huge peppers girl, you say nonchalantly.

you’re a fucking heathen is what you are.

for that, you take an extra big bite and chew as loudly and disgustingly as you can.

it backfires immediately. he gags and presses his fist to his mouth, and you bolt to the sink to grab the trash can from under it, nearly tripping and hoping like hell he doesn’t throw up all over himself because you do not have it in you to do that kind of laundry. trash can in hand, you turn around to find that he’s giving you the thumbs up and grinning. not gagging at all, perfectly fine.

oh, fuck you. you put the trash can back, stalk over, and drop down onto the bed beside him again, petulantly this time, making the bedsprings squeak.

he’s still chuckling. you should’ve seen your face.

you know what my problem is? you say.

you think you have only one problem, j? i got news for you.

that’s not the first time anyone’s used that nickname for you, but you still like it.

my problem is that you’re not scared of me, you say. i need to make you more scared of me, and then you’ll treat me with the respect i deserve.

okay, well, fyi: you are already the third scariest person in the world to me, richie says.

the third? you echo with mock offense.

third is good, man. there’s stiff competition. like, you realize isis is still out there? his eyebrows raise and he gestures emphatically. and there’s a lot of them?

you snort. isis is not still out there.

i think they are. he tries to tick them off on his fingers. isis, al qaeda. and the other one. what’s the other one?

i think you need to stay well away from middle eastern politics when you’re running a fever, you say, getting up to go.

you said my fever was low!

and yet you’re fuckin addled. go back to sleep. with that, you head back towards the kitchenette to see what you can do.

his pantry turns out to be not quite as empty as his fridge, so you pick up a couple things and get to cooking him something basic and nourishing. no sense in trying anything impressive. you’ll be lucky if the result is passably tasty.

sunlight comes in through the window, throwing a rectangle of warmth on your shoulder. you retrieve a pot, a cutting board, a large knife.

eva’s his number one scariest person in the world, obviously. number two’s probably tiff? donna’s scary, but you get the sense that she’d be worse to her kids, or at least that it’d feel worse to be her kids. richie’s never directly talked about her, though he did made a couple bitter remarks early on about what he did for ‘the family’, and given that sugar hates his ass and carmy wasn’t around, it has to be donna he was trying to take care of. wait, maybe carmy’s number two. no, it’s tiff. it’s definitely tiff.

yo, richie says, what the fuck are you doing? stop.

you look up, bewildered. what?

he’s sitting at the edge of the bed with his feet flat on the floor, like he’s prepared to stand up and stop you. with the light coming in through the window at his back and the hanging lamp of the kitchenette throwing gold on his front, he really does look like he’s coated in sweat.

put the knife down, he says. commands from his mouth are usually fruitless protests issued for comedic effect, but not this time. you put the knife down.

you okay? you say it like a gentle person would, only to have your gesture immediately spoiled.

who taught you to cut onions like that? he says, like you’re physically hurting him. you do not cut onions like that!

oh my god, fucking stop me. you roll your eyes and pick up the knife again, only to hear a tell-tale grunt from richie. no, that was a joke. don’t—you throw down the knife with an annoyed clatter. i’ll be fine. just watch your baseball or something, okay? sorry i’m not fucking carmy and i can’t go all human food processor on it, but let me do my thing.

after a second, richie says, ‘s gonna taste like shit, isn’t it.

you want me to go? you say, stung.

no, richie says immediately. i just want to know what you’re gonna do with those onions.

you shrug, a touch defensively. i was gonna brown it, add a couple cans of campbell’s beef and barley. something like that. it’s really sad when you say it out loud, just two ingredients: onions and canned soup.

i don’t hate that, richie says.

you look at him warily, unsure of whether that’s meant as an insult or the world’s most pathetic compliment.

just curl your fingers when you cut, right? fuckin—he imitates, to show you how your left hand is supposed to be positioned, while he mimes chopping with his right. it really should not be charming. unfortunately, it kinda is.

yeah, yeah, you mutter, and then you go back to your cutting board and try to practice what he just taught you.

usually, you have protein bars for snacks, frozen pizzas for meals, takeaway for variety, and pre-bagged salads for your recent attempts at health, so it really has been ages since you cooked like this.

kind of feels like you’ve been missing out. there’s a peaceful feeling to this simple concentration, a bit like your work but without any of the stress. you take little breaks every now and again to prevent the onion from making you cry. with each break, you take a look at something new: the drawings from eva that he has pinned to the fridge, the poster for the movie white squall, the stack of books that look like somebody’s actually read them.

when you start shoveling slices of onion into the pot, richie calls over, don’t turn the heat up too high.

i won’t, you say, unbothered.

you get about thirty seconds of peace, stirring your onions as you add some oil, and then richie pipes up again.

seriously, he says, if it doesn’t brown fast enough, don’t turn the heat up, just—

the heat’s at four out of ten, fuck’s sake. your swearing is just for show, because you’re feeling nearly mellow. there’s something so soothing about the crackling sound of the onions in the hot oil. are you drinking your water?

i already drank it all!

not believing him, you walk over, only to find that the cup is indeed empty. you refill it, then linger for a second, trying to make sense of the baseball he’s streaming on his laptop.

look at this guy, richie says, referring to some player that you’ve never seen before in your life and probably never will again. the guy’s winding up to take a swing. you both watch. the guy hits a foul, and richie shakes his head in disgust. you grunt, noncommittal and happy, and return to your caramelizing onions.

by the time you’re done cooking, he’s asleep.

you pour out two bowls of soup and put the rest of it in the fridge. that plus the saltines are enough to get him through the night and another day. you doubt the fever will last much longer than that.

as you do the washing up, you make sure to scrub off every last bit of onion from the bottom of the pot, and then you leave all the clean dishes on the rack to dry.

between soup and saltines, richie should have enough for tonight and tomorrow, and you doubt the fever will last much longer than that. with the cooking and washing up is done, you walk over, sit on the bed beside him, and set down two bowls of soup on the deep windowsill that serves as his side table. his laptop has gone to sleep, and the silence in the absence of baseball is pretty much perfect. so is the sunlight.

you take off your hoodie, finally—you were starting to sweat yourself near the end there, thank goodness he was too sick to notice—and tug down your original berf shirt. it’s safe enough. richie’s out cold, snoring a little. with the tylenol doing its work, he’s not as sweaty as before, so you drag the sheets up from the foot of the bed and make sure they’re tucked over his shoulders.

taking out a sharpie from your coat pocket, you root around in the pile of assorted mail by his bedside until you come up with a pizza flier you can write on. you leave him the phone number of the burner you kept for michael. reason being, it’s the only number you know by heart, and you’re too tired to deal with any more unexplained absences.

after all, you figure, you can be good and still take it a little easier. that’s all you’ve done today, take it a little easier, and it feels really fucking good.

settling down, you reach over richie again to get your bowl and your spoon. the bowl is warm in your lap, and even though you weren’t hungry before, the act of cooking has worked up your appetite. the soup smells good to you: sweet, savory, a bit like childhood.

your father used to say grace at the table, and though you never do that anymore, there’s something still left to be said.

you know, you say, you’re the number three scariest person in the world to me too. you sit with that for a moment, and then you add, number two once told me he would shoot me in the face, so. there’s that.

richie looks completely harmless like this, slumped on his side under the sheets, turned a little towards you with his eyes closed. he’s way easier to talk to when he’s unconscious, go figure. you can't touch him, though.

drink your fucking water, you say quietly.

and then, still looking at him like he’s a photo to remember, you begin to eat your soup.

[ next chapter ] [ masterlist ]

@garbinge, @narcolini, @drabbles-mc, @beingalive1, @eternallyvenus, @cerial-junkie, @jackierose902109 — if anyone else wants to be tagged, let me know.

#richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovich #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #the bear fanfic #mine #readerfic #do i know you?#the bear imagine #diky #fluffy h/c in MY readerfic? it's more likely than you think!

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agirlwithdemonblood · 6 months ago

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Through the Shadows: Chapter 24 - Struggles and Support

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader

Series Summary: A hunter's Journey through despair and recovery is guided by Dean Winchester's unwavering love, leading her to reclaim her strength, voice and hope for their shared future.

Chapter Summary: Two steps forward & five steps back, that's how it has been feeling for Dean & Y/N.

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING: Self harm. Depression, anxiety, blood, lots of blood, and panics. Please be cautious before you read this one.

Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!

Establishing a routine in the bunker was both a challenge, and a lifeline for Y/N. Every day began with waking up, eating, taking medications-tasks she could manage somewhat independently.

However, the real struggle came with physiotherapy, a punishing session designed to help Y/N regain strength and mobility.

Dean and Sam have both been briefed on how to assist with her sessions, and they were quick to set up railings and a soft mat, creating a safe environment for her to practice walking again. The goal seemed simple: to walk from start to finish without help, but for Y/N, it constantly felt like a battle she couldn't win.

Since the coma and the medications, her strength was severely weakened. Even taking a single step was a colossal effort, and progress was torturously slow.

Dean, always encouraging and patient, never pushed Y/N beyond what he believed she could handle. He knew she had the capability, but understood the fragility of her physical and emotional state.

Sam, however, urged Dean to pursue a more assertive approach. He argued that being gentle wasn't helping her progress, it wasn't challenging her, and suggested that Dean push her harder, even if it meant causing temporary discomfort.

Despite his reservations, Dean reluctantly agreed to try and push her harder during their next session, worried that being gentle with her might actually damage her more in the long run.

And when it came to her next session, Dean could feel the anxiety rising as he spoke as gently as he could. "So today, we are going to get you to take three steps before you can rest.

Anxiety welled up inside Y/N's chest as she doubted her ability to meet his expectations. She didn't want to disappoint him, but she feared she would if she couldn't do it.

As soon as she began her first step, her legs were already shaking with effort, muscles burning from the strain. Dean watched her closely, his concern growing, but he followed Sam's advice and gently urged her to continue.

With every step, the pain became more evident on her face, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She glanced at Dean, hoping for some relief but she was met with a guilt stricken look as he nodded, "You have one more step to go, you can do it."

Determined to make him proud, she pushed herself beyond her limits. But as her foot lifted off the ground, her strength gave out and she collapsed, falling hard onto the mat.

Dean's heart shattered as he rushed to her side, cursing at himself for pushing her too far. He knelt down, pulling her onto his lap gently. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N. I shouldn't have pushed you."

Y/N struggled to catch her breath, tears streaming down her cheeks as sobs racked her body. She felt guilty and embarrassed for not completing what should have been an easy task, and the idea of letting him down shattered her to the core.

Once she regained some compsure, Dean helped her back into the chair. She wiped her tears and pulled out the whiteboard, writing two simple words that nearly broke his heart. "I'm sorry."

His chest tightened with emotion and regret as he read the words, kneeling beside her and grabbing her hand tightly in his own. "No, don't apologize." he whispered, his eyes reflecting his love and concern for her. "You're doing fantastic, and I pushed too hard, this is on me."

He sat with her in silence, holding her hand tightly, kissing the pale skin over and over, a silent promise to never push her like that again.

The next morning, Dean drove you to the doctor's for a checkup, the visit quickly becoming another blow to her fragile spirit.

They insisted that she should be gaining more progress in physiotherapy, and implied that her lack of progress was due to insufficient effort.

Dean clenched his jaw so tight, it nearly hurt. He wanted to punch the doctors in the face, to defend Y/N and bring her out of here, but he held back his anger and held her hand tightly in his own, an attempt to comfort her.

When the doctor suggested that her voice may never return, he refused to accept it. He knew she was trying her best, even if the doctors couldn't see it, her effort was enough.

Back at the bunker, Y/N's thoughts were spiraling out of control, the feeling of not being enough, of not recovering faster weighed down on her like a wet blanket. She felt useless and pathetic, unable to do much of anything for herself, or Dean.

Dean could tell her depression was bad, and he didn't blame her one bit, especially after the doctors made her feel like she wasn't putting any effort in.

He was determined to lift her spirits by preparing her favourite meal and giving her a movie night, praying it would give her some much needed comfort.

Meanwhile, Y/N laid in bed, consumed by a storm of negative thoughts and misery. Unable to bear the chaos of her mind any longer, she pulled herself into her wheelchair and went to the bathroom. In a moment of overwhelming suffering, she found her razors and began hurting herself, the physical pain distracting her from the emotional torture she was wrapped up in.

She was barely aware, lost in her pain, stuck in the deep dark tunnel and she couldn't see the light.

Dean returned moments later to check on Y/N, but when he found the bed empty, panic surged through him. His heart pounded as he searched, finally hearing the soft whimpers from inside the bathroom.

He rushed to the door, banging so hard he was surprised his fists didn't go through the wood. "Y/N? Hey, open the door, please."

Inside, her hearing was muffled-almost like she was drowning underwater. The sounds of her cries were the only thing echoing in her ears.

He continued pounding, and when there was no answer, he could feel himself becoming more desperate. With a burst of frantic strength, Dean stepped back and kicked the door in, eyes immediatly locking on Y/N. His breath caught in his throat, eyes pouring with emotions as he took in her state; covered by blood, new wounds scattered across her arms and legs, sobs wracking through her body.

He wanted to fall apart, bawl his eyes out, he wanted to break down but he forced himself to stay calm and focus on what was important here-Y/N.

Kneeling beside her, he reached out with trembling hands and grabbed her wrist, successfully pulling the razor from her grip and throwing it in the trash. He could feel the tears falling down his face, but he quickly wiped them away, his hand resting on her cheek. "Y/N? You with me?" He asked gently.

She snapped out of her faze, horrified and panicked about what she had done, what he had witnessed. She stared at her wounds in shock and fear as tears poured down her face. She turned towards Dean, noticing the tears in his eyes, her heart breaking at the very sight. She mouthed I'm sorry, over and over again, praying the actual words would come out, but there was nothing but silence.

Dean shook his head and pulled her close towards his chest, hand running through her hair. "Don't apologize sweetheart." he murmured, his voice raw with pain. "I just want to help. Please, let me help you."

She nodded as the tears came down harder, lowering her face to the ground in shame. He was careful and gentle as he wiped the blood from her arms, bandaging up every reminder of the pain she was in. He was extra careful, tender and patient, his heart shattering at every whimper of pain that fell from her lips.

When she was cleaned up, he tucked her into bed and provided her some pain medication, staying closely by her side until she finally fell asleep.

He stood up from the bed and retreated to the bathroom to clean the blood. Alone in the small space, he stared at the reminder of what just happened, what he witnessed, and he allowed his emotions to crash over him. He slid down the wall, tears rushing from his eyes as he placed his head in his hands, pain filling his heart as he thought about the pain she was in, and hating himself for not being able to prevent her suffering.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 25 coming soon stay tuned!

Like, comment, and reblog, feedback is my fuel 💕

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural one shot #dean #spn fic #jensen's smile #deanwinchester #spns

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emililyqueer · 9 months ago

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so... this is just kind of a personal emotional dump. i don't want to bring anyone down, you can ignore this if you just want to do the sexy stuff.

but it is an insight into me, so ya know. here it is. it turned out a lot longer than i wanted... to be honest it's sort of turned into my life story. um. sorry.

i spent so much of my life being ashamed and confused and depressed. i suppose, the thing is... i'm tired of watching other people live the life that i wanted to live.

i was brought up in a very conservative small town, in the middle of fkin nowhere. the place was extremely homogenous. no (visibly) gay or trans people, almost no people of colour. i had a single, disabled mother. my dad was very mentally ill, and he was abusive and violent with it, and even though he left when i was in single digits, he's left some very deep scars on me. i went to school under the time of the Section 28 law - which is to say, LGBT issues were banned in school, and bullying gay and trans kids was absolutely allowed to happen, or else the teachers could be seen as "taking a side" on a "controversial issue". this happened to me multiple times. i hated school. even though i started off in life with a passion of learning, going there broke my enthusiasm for literally decades.

i was queer, and i was in denial. i... sort of understood, i think?? but i realised very young that i couldn't rely on anyone, not my parents, not my teachers, not my peers. i grew up obsessed with the idea of self-reliance and some fucked up idea of personal strength. even after a university friend of mine came out, and i realised i might be trans, i still clung to these ideas, to masculinity and self-isolation. they had kept me "safe" and i felt i needed them. i abused drink and drugs because i felt empty and just wanted to fucking feel something, at least something other than anxiety and despair. it felt like parts of me were missing. most of the time, i felt either nothing, or fear, or stress, unless i was high.

i had health problems, i didn't have any energy or concentration (i later learned that i had ADD), i was depressed, and i had chronic migraines. i went to university to study a BSc in computer science, and i couldn't complete it due to these health problems.

and yeah, the health problems and depression became disabling... because of that i was constantly broke. this country, the tory party especially (but not only the tories), hates disabled people with a passion. i was into political activism at the time and the number of deaths of sick and disabled people coming out of the initial austerity era actually kind of broke my faith in society, i couldn't believe this was being allowed to happen.

as an aside - that was a choice. austerity was a choice, and it came with a body count in the tens of thousands (according to the British Medical Journal) before they just stopped fucking counting. this is a thing that actually happened in one of the richest countries on earth, and it happened as the richest people in that country only got richer and richer, and then we just... forgot, because disabled people don't fucking matter, do we? i'm sorry to get political in the middle of my own miserable ramble but these bastards need to burn in hell for what they did. fuck the tories

anyway.

because i abused my body, and i couldn't afford decent healthcare, or transition related stuff, i actually wrote off my appearance. i decided i would never be able to look good or feel good about myself. there was a brief time when i first got on HRT where i felt great about the future, but once i realised how badly i'd already hurt myself... i just gave up. for a lot of my life i was convinced that i wouldn't be here in the next few months or years, so why build a future?

my desires and sense of identity were just completely buried under a mountain of shame, self loathing, lack of direction, and substance abuse. i lost so, so many years.

so... how are things today? my living situation is crap. it's secure, but miserable. one tiny room, with mold in it which is aggravating my allergies. my financial situation is still bad, but it's not critical - i am struggling to afford some medications, but generally i'm afloat. i am, so far, just about able to maintain a small old car, which i rely on, because i live in the sticks and there's fck all public transport here. mentally, i still struggle, but it's so so much better than it was, and it is getting better. my physical health is... concerning me; i have a lot less energy than i'd like, and i'm in almost always in pain. in terms of drugs, i am mostly clean. i don't really drink, i don't smoke (neither tobacco nor anything else), but i do use prescription painkillers.

one of the bigger things is my gender and sexuality... confusing as hell, i'm in a superposition between trans woman and like... femboy, or sissy feminine man. i don't really understand it, parts of all these things appeal strongly to me on a deep, honest, fundamental level. i'm really not sure how to interpret this.

and, well, when i look at some certain sex workers and models... i feel equal parts inspired, and like i want to cry. i keep seeing people who lived the life i always wanted, and i see how fucking happy and successful they are, and i feel so many things all at once.

but... i am still here. i do still have time left. and i do know a few things about me for sure:

i am a reasonably intelligent person. i'm good with computers, electronics, and cars. i like music, travelling, and um i think i like cooking??? and of course video games. i mean duh, i'm a queer on the internet! :p

i'm determined, i don't want to lie down and die any more, i want things to get better for me, i want a future.

but i think... above all? it's the things i was ashamed of that i love the most. i love kink, i love femininity, i love showing off, i desire outrageous sexual experiences, and looking hot and changing the person i see in the mirror. i want to do porn, to revel in eroticism and queerness, and i want to take these things seriously.

so, that's what i'm going to do. that's why i'm posting this here alongside the fun kinky stuff. it's important, this is me.

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miymedia · 3 months ago

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The Motivation Trap: When Your Drive Becomes Your Downfall

The Dark Side of Motivation

Although motivation is commonly viewed as essential for achieving success, too much or misdirected motivation can result in significant adverse outcomes. This part delves into the concealed dangers of motivation that are not monitored.

1. Feeling burnt out and exhausted

Continuously pushing oneself without adequate breaks can result in both physical and mental exhaustion.

Reduced productivity and creativity due to excessive effort

Possibility of developing lasting health problems caused by constant stress.

2. Expectations that are not based on reality

Establishing unrealistic expectations that result in ongoing dissatisfaction

Cultivating a distorted perception of self-value linked only to accomplishments

The constant need to exceed expectations, both from oneself and others.

3. Ignoring Other Areas of Life

Putting professional goals ahead of personal relationships

Neglecting one’s physical well-being and personal maintenance to focus on goals.

A decrease in balance between work and personal life leads to reduced satisfaction in life overall.

4. Obsession with Success

Becoming reliant on the thrill of achieving objectives

Being unable to experience satisfaction or tranquility without continual advancement.

Heightened chances of developing depression when encountering unavoidable obstacles.

5. Narrow Focus and Rigidity

Getting too fixated on a goal to the point where you overlook other chances.

Struggling to adjust to changes or shifting directions when needed.

Disregarding significant feedback or differing viewpoints.

6. Moral dilemmas

Rationalizing controversial deeds in pursuit of achievement.

Placing importance on outcomes rather than on honesty or future impacts.

Possibly harmful to professional relationships or reputation

How Motivation Can Sabotage Your Goals

Taking on too many commitments and spreading yourself too thinly.

Taking on too much work or tasks because of being overly enthusiastic.

Failure to adequately focus on every objective causes subpar results.

Heightened the chance of missing deadlines or unfinished assignments.

2. Striving for perfection causes individuals to delay completing tasks.

Establishing unattainable expectations that hinder advancement.

Anxiety about not meeting self-imposed expectations hinders one from initiating tasks due to fear.

Continual edits and failure to view work as complete.

3. Comparing Short-term Thought to Long-term Sustainability

Prioritizing short-term victories over sustained development

Failing to establish sustainable systems and habits

Becoming exhausted before achieving larger, more time-consuming objectives

4. Disregarding red flags and exerting excessive force

Ignoring physical or mental health issues to achieve goals

Persisting on a course despite the evident necessity for a shift in direction.

Risking complete failure by not taking essential breaks or reevaluating goals

5. Limited Perspective and Overlooked Chances

Getting too focused on a single objective and missing out on important options.

Not being able to adjust to different situations or updated data.

Not taking advantage of opportunities to work together or benefit from combined efforts with others

6. Fluctuating Emotions from Peaks to Valleys

Connecting your self-esteem too tightly to reaching personal objectives.

Going through intense changes in mood depending on success or obstacles.

Struggling to stay consistently motivated because of emotional unpredictability.

7. Ignoring the procedure in favor of the result.

Paying attention only to the outcome, neglecting important learning opportunities.

Not enjoying the process results in lower overall contentment.

Not following necessary steps or cutting corners that impact the result.

8. Battle Between Competing instead of Working Together

Seeing other people as competitors instead of possible partners or assets

Not taking advantage of chances for partnerships that could benefit both parties.

Developing an environment that is both stressful and isolating, obstructs advancement in general.

By acknowledging these possible obstacles, we can improve our ability to utilize motivation, guaranteeing that it pushes us toward our objectives rather than pulling us away from them.

Healthy Alternatives to Excessive Motivation

While motivation is important, it’s crucial to find a balanced approach that promotes sustainable progress without the pitfalls of excess. This section explores healthier alternatives to over-reliance on motivation:

Establishing Long-lasting Habits

Emphasize forming regular, minor daily habits.

Establish habits that facilitate advancement without the need for ongoing effort.

Utilize habit-stacking methods to incorporate fresh habits within current daily routines.

2. Establishing Achievable Objectives

Utilize the SMART goal model (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound)

Divide big goals into smaller, achievable checkpoints.

Consistently review and modify goals by advancements and shifting situations.

3. Finding a balance between ambition and self-care.

Give importance to sleep, nutrition, and exercise as key aspects for achieving long-term success.

Make sure to plan regular breaks and leisure time to avoid burning out.

Engage in mindfulness and stress-relief practices.

4. Adopting the Procedure, Not Only the Result

Develop a mindset that prioritizes learning and growth.

Discover pleasure in the daily activities needed to achieve your objectives

Comment on little victories and advancements during the journey

5. Cultivating Inner Drive

Link your objectives with your fundamental beliefs and individual purpose.

Put your attention on personal fulfillment and satisfaction instead of seeking approval from others.

Nurture a sense of curiosity and authentic interest in your endeavors.

6. Establishing a Nurturing Atmosphere

Surround yourself with people who are positive and share your interests.

Create a layout for your physical environment that promotes efficiency and health.

Look for guidance from a mentor or become part of communities that support your objectives.

7. Employing flexibility and being adaptable

Remain flexible and willing to change direction as needed.

See obstacles as chances for development and improvement.

Create various avenues for achieving success instead of focusing solely on one path.

8. Enforcing Periodic Reflection and Review.

Organize regular meetings to evaluate advancement and welfare.

Utilize journaling or reflective practices in order to acquire new insights.

Be prepared to adapt or modify objectives in response to new data or shifting priorities.

9. Nurturing the qualities of patience and investing in long-term deliberation.

Recognize that significant transformations usually require a substantial amount of time to occur.

Emphasize steady advancement over quick, temporary improvements.

Create plans to sustain motivation when faced with plateaus or periods of slow progress.

Strategies to Avoid Motivation-Related Pitfalls

It is important to engage in self-reflection regularly. Set up regular weekly meetings to evaluate how you are doing and your overall health. Take advantage of this opportunity to modify your goals and strategy if necessary, making sure you remain on a sustainable path.

Cultivate a mindset focused on growth to change your perspective on challenges. View them as chances to grow instead of challenges. View failures as valuable lessons that can lead you closer to success, not as obstacles that define you.

Establish a solid network of support around yourself. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who motivate and push you to grow. Seek out a partner to hold you accountable or a mentor to offer guidance and keep you motivated. Think about becoming a part of groups that match your objectives to receive extra assistance and motivation.

Acknowledge small victories to keep progress going. Recognize your everyday advancements, regardless of how small they may appear. Maintain a list of completed tasks next to your list of pending tasks to see your accomplishments. Celebrate your achievements to strengthen good habits.

Engage in mindfulness to remain centered and attentive. Integrate meditation or breathing exercises into your daily schedule. This will assist you in staying focused on your tasks, lessening stress, and enhancing overall productivity and concentration.

Establishing precise limits is essential to avoid exhaustion. Discover how to reject taking on too much work and preserve your time for relaxation and rejuvenation. Create a harmonious equilibrium between work and personal life to chase your aspirations while still prioritizing other vital areas of your life.

Utilize SMART goal-setting strategies to establish realistic goals. Make sure your objectives are Clear, Quantifiable, Attainable, Pertinent, and Time-sensitive. Divide big goals into smaller, more achievable tasks, and consistently reassess and modify your objectives when necessary.

Summary

Motivation, although strong, can have both positive and negative effects. We have observed that an excessive amount of motivation can result in burnout, unrealistic expectations, and ultimately undermine our goals. Discovering equilibrium is essential.

Shift your focus from relying only on motivation to:

Developing long-lasting routines Establishing achievable, flexible objectives. Balancing self-care with ambition is essential. Valuing the experience of the journey, not only the arrival. Nurturing internal drive

Keep in mind, that achieving success involves more than just accomplishing your goals — it also includes evolving and sustaining your overall health throughout the journey. Recognizing the drawbacks of motivation and using a balanced approach can lead to a more satisfying and lasting route to success.

Aim for improvement, not flawlessness. Acknowledge minor victories, grow from failures, and show compassion for yourself. Your path is individual, and by finding the correct equilibrium, you will be more prepared to achieve your aspirations while savoring the journey.

#encouragement #inspiration #motivation #self care #self help #motivating quotes #get motivated #motivación #motivator

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theloverscardtarot · 5 months ago

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Joe Quinn's Future Spouse

General Energy

3 of Wands: This card suggests a new relationship heading into the next phase. Creating a strong foundation for a lasting commitment. This card also suggests traveling. Maybe they will meet while traveling.

The Chariot: This card suggests knowing or making sure you know what you are looking for in a potential relationship. There may be a fight between two urges here. I feel like this could mean the urge to find someone and the urge to remain single due to liking not having the responsibility. This card suggests to make sure you are not losing your individuality to the other person. This could be a fear for someone.

Ace of Swords Rev: This suggests a failure to communicate. There could be misunderstandings and assumptions at play here. Some kind of confusion. One point of view may be different than the other's. Make sure you are on the same page. Watch how you speak because words can turn into fights pretty quickly.

The Hangman Rev: This indicates a new perspective on love. Deciding to take action instead of stalling. The end of waiting. Ready for love with renewed energy. Just make sure there is a balance of sacrifices between partners.

What Do We Need To Know

4 of Wands: Soulmate alert! I feel like this indicates Joe's future spouse will be his soulmate. This card suggests a family gathering to support you such as an engagement or a wedding. A strong relationship grows even stronger because of this support. This is a strong card for marriage. This could also suggest they may meet at a social gathering that may involve family or friends.

5 of Pents: This suggests if you are single, you may have given up on finding love. Dont let this become a self-fufilling prophecy. Either or both might be feeling this way. Isolated and a bit depressed about their current love status. This could also indicate struggle within the relationship. Try to be open and honest and let down your emotional walls.

9 of Swords: Joe or his future partner could be feeling anxious and worried about a potential relationship because of past traumas. A nightmare situation could be weighing heavy on them. Evaluate if these fears are rational. Feelings of remorse or guilt from the past need to be worked through. And in a relationship, these things need to be addressed with each other to move past it.

The Devil: This can indicate lust and obsession between partners. Seeking all earthly pleasures. That is fine as long as you both agree and communicate your wants and needs. Could this mean a bit of kinkiness? This could mean some codependency. Just make sure you can still keep your individuality. Someone might find it hard to adapt to the other's lifestyle. Make sure you can work together and listen to each other's anxieties about the situation.

Joe's POV

9 of Pents: He may feel like he has everything he needs at the moment and living the life of luxury. His love life may not be something he views as pressing. He enjoys his independence. Him and his partner may find each other's goals, hobbies and achievements to be a testament to their individuality and be very happy with that. This tells me they let each other do their own thing and respect it. This can also indicate working on your home together and making it your own special place.

King of Wands: An energetic and natural leader who is generous with his time and resources. He may make you exhausted just by being in his presence, but he brings excitement to your life.

The Emperor: Brings common sense and structure to a relationship. May not be super romantic, but he can be logical. The voice of reason. He may be a very traditional person as well. It can be a bit stiffling. Might have to find ways to loosen him up a bit.

4 of Pents: He may be holding onto baggage from past loves that he needs to let go of before he can be ready for new love. He may be a bit possessive and jealous, most likely out of fear that the past might repeat itself. He may find help to sort these issues out from his future spouse.

Page of Cups: He may be a creative, emotional and intuitive person. He may seem a bit naive about things. He looks at love with a sense of childlike awe and wonder. He may be a hopeless romantic, looking at love as if it's a novel. "Happy surprises could be in store for you".

Future Spouse POV

Death: She may be stuck in a relationship that is no longer good for her. It could also mean she is working on shedding beliefs or her outlook on love to better her future relationship. This could also indicate a new era such as an engagement.

10 of Cups: This card indicates stability and commitment. A happy home life. Things look very well for their future together. This could mean they will have children as well.

8 of Cups: This card suggests his future partner might be on a spiritual journey of some kind. She may be making a big move in her life or walking away from something not suiting her. This may lead to them meeting.

Queen of Swords: She values her own space and identity so she will want to ensure Joe respects that. She can be intimidating to someone who doesn't know her, but once they do she is very kind and loyal. She is usually emotionally guarded until she trusts you.

Judgement: She may be feeling a certain way about her past relationships that are carrying over into this one. Her and Joe will have to make adjustments and not ignore what needs to be addressed. Communication will be key as in any other romance.

More Info:

5 of Cups: This suggests there might be a time of grief and sadness in the relationship. I don't know why my mind goes to problems with fertility. Or, possibly there are tensions and fights within the relationship itself. Things will be ok and there will be a lot to look forward to as long as they communicate and help each other.

8/3 of Pents: They may keep surprising each other in a good way. Things they learn about each other together and individually will help them become closer and become more passionate. They will achieve relationship goals with compassion and kindness for each other. They will find that they are a great team. Whether working on their house or in creative projects or hobbies. This could suggest meeting one another at work.

5 of Swords Side: (U)Their egos may clash a bit and cause tension and arguments. It's important to take some time for themselves. Unexpected change within the relationship may cause some tension. (R) This card suggests that it might be better to walk away and separate if things cannot be reconciled after heated arguments. Hopefully that will not happen and they can work through their issues together.

I forgot to ask about her appearance, but the cards reminded me. I went to do a cleanse shuffle and three more cards fell out. Ironically, the Queen of Swords fell out again, so I feel that is an important card!

Appearance

Queen of Swords: She may be known for her clear and logical thinking. She can articulate her words well and is very intelligent. It's very easy for her to convey her ideas and thoughts so that people understand. A clear and penetrating gaze that suggests intelligence. Her posture is upright and confident. She may dress with sophistication. She may not be a very emotional person. She may be a writer, teacher or lawyer!

Queen of Pents: She is nurturing and loving. A motherly type. She creates a calm and inviting household. Warm and approachable, exuding a calm energy. She may be comforting with a gentle smile and soothing demeanor. She may feel connected to nature. Even though she may not be emotional as seen in QS, QP suggests she is there to offer her emotional support in a non judgemental way. She may use her practical skills to make a difference in people's lives.

Page of Swords: She may have a youthful appearance. Lives life with energy and enthusiasm. She may have an expressive face that lights up when she talks about something she is passionate about. A gaze that suggests intelligence and inquisitiveness. She may easily turn a conversation into a friendly debate due to her overactive mind. She has an affinity for words and communicates well. She may make you walk away from a conversation still thinking about it in a good way. This also suggests a teacher or writer!

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gretakatharinaa · 1 year ago

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life in your 20s - about drinks and decisions

Now that my exams are coming closer and I spend every day of the week either working or studying and my only outlet is to work out or writing (which is not going well), I thought I should write about something that is all too familiar.

Life in the twenties.

I’ve wrote this article before - three drafts and 2 cups of coffee later I was fed up and closed my laptop. I decided to come back to it.

I think the fact that it needed this fourth draft shows how life in your twenties is.

When I asked around on how the 20s are, I mostly got answers like: confusing, depressing, challenging or just straight up filled with anxiety.

I also got answers like: exciting, vibrant, adventurous.

Obviously, every chapter in your life is filled with all sorts of emotions but I want to emphasize this "second puberty" you enter without even realizing it.

When we were younger, we didn’t know what we were going to be but we dreamt about this grown up life, your own money and apartment.

We used to buy center shocks, now we’re out for dinner and drinks.

We used to dream about furnishing our first apartment, now we’re hit with the reality of furniture prices (why are carpets and mirrors SO expensive?!).

We used to beg our mom to buy cereal, now we sigh at the prices in the store.

We used to jump up and down when we got letters in the mail with our name on it, now we’re scared to open them because it’s either spam or another bill.

We used to have crushes but instead of being fifteen and goofy, we’re really in love but break up or don’t even try because you work too much, you study too much, you don’t want to settle etc.

From hand holding-relationships and first times to trust issues and situationships.

Or we commit to relationships, being scared that we should have spent more time being single and constantly questioning what could have been.

Somehow, you still have pimples and crushes but now it’s that - on top of responsibility and possibility and bills and existential crises.

Of course, life in your twenties is also liberating. I’ve realized that the choices are mine to make, I have to defend myself and my opinions less and I have opportunities - to work, to study, to travel, to eat chips for dinner.

I can buy silly little things with my money and spend my time however I intend to.

The problem is, in your twenties, you constantly need to make decisions. What job/major to pick, what hobby, what future, what to eat (THREE times a day, EVERY day - pisses me off) and some decisions are harder than others.

You can’t always do what your heart desires, sometimes you cannot take that trip or get that job. Sometimes you can’t have that person, or rather, you shouldn’t. So you make a decision. And you live with it.

It’s weird, I’m fine with the decisions I make but only because I made the sensible choice - not because I did what I want.

What makes everything so confusing, is that everybody tells you you can be anything. And you start to spiral, wanting to be everything and anything, changing opinions and paths and being driven by the fear of missing out.

Everything is aesthetic or groundbreaking or inspiring or different or special and somewhere in between those adjectives are you - chasing or being chased?

I get it.

The 20s are a grey area. It’s okay to be confused and have no idea about who you are. It’s also okay to have babies and marry (in whatever order you prefer). It’s okay to have a normal 9-5 job and not be a drop shipper or OF model making bag. - I've been getting a lot of feet related DMs lately.

It’s okay to have a weird love life or no love life at all. It’s okay to wait for the one.

Not everyone understands you, not everyone will benefit your life.

The point is - i think - to soak it all in. To surround yourself with people who understand you.

So whatever feeling the 20s give you - fear, excitement, pressure - it's meant to be felt and experienced.

And then, one day you'll be thirty and just when the existential crisis of your 20s has stopped, the 30 will do you dirty.

Kidding... I think.

My god, this is the FOURTH draft and I still hate it. I have a million things on my mind - Laundry, exams, dinner plans, when i have to be at the office tomorrow and most importantly: Why can't I finish this fucking article?

I can’t just post this unfinished, sucky piece of ass and call it a day.

-Actually, I can. I’m a grown-up and this is my blog.

Happy 20s24. Get it? 20s.

#rawring 20s #20s #life in your 20s #existential crisis #possibility

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nekroschafis-obsessions · 6 months ago

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Most busy sheepi! (Obsession + insomnia is heavy atm) Also sorry my current focus is almost exclusively on the two projects I am working on (the sheep decorations last 4 pieces at my workplace / desk) and the digital project which for me is a totally new topic so I can barely find time to think of something else (or sleep) which means I can barely find the time for any of my other obsessions (unless it comes to random topics infodumping in conversations with my workmates or friends) so….I want to „apologize“ for being „gone“ but I can assure you the SP fandom and my obsession with my favourite characters will NEVER end! It‘s just currently resting because my mind can‘t split its focus endlessly, especially when there is so much new to learn and troubleshoot in my project. (and focusing on THIS plus a single-topic internet forum helps me distract from my waiting time as long as my housing situation is on hold). I also happened to stumple upon clips of the South Park End of obesity which already makes me excited for when I will take the time to finally watch it and focus on one of my many favourite cartoons again. At the moment I CAN‘T but I can be sure I won‘t out of future fandom inspiration that soon. \o/ And maybe when I become less busy with single topics / activities I will probably return to my other websites including this one again. After all I did have fun here and it‘s always nice to read about fandom stuff. Also I occasionally dive into fanart again, although currently in other topics, but this means I will probably be more confident of at least putting my ideas on paper / creating scribbles again instead of forcing myself to focus on non-fandom art for practice purpose / new techniques / commissions at my workplace. Anyway I currently don‘t post my sketches and photos here as I take a break of tumblr / insta / deviantart and focus on the fandom exclusive forum only as it feels better for me when it comes to keeping my inspiration and motivation level up and my depression / anxiety level low. It just feels like my youth again where one fandom community was the dominant gathering place that made it easier for me to create even quick fanart ideas, even when they are first attempts at this fandom art. So for now I‘m still all sheepi crafts and Don‘t Starve aligned, probably as long as I am trapped in my current house to keep my sanity and focus as high as possible (at the cost of staying awake for 3+ days and backaches and eyestrain)

But I fear I have barely felt that much happiness and that little anxiety within the past years!

Looking forward to post random stuff here again. :)

Anyway my compulsive negative thoughts have almost been reduced to zero since I started to dive into my current longterm focus.

So happy Schafi Mäh! \o/ Määääääh!!!!!

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righteousx · 2 years ago

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I’m literally laying in bed rn bawling my fucking eyes out because I seen this documentary about Jarad already and know about this song Laroi made for his best friend - but god this edit was nothing less of pure perfection.

Music has always been an outlet for me when I grew up and my life was always surrounded by negativity, especially w/ my dad who was an alcoholic, narcissistic piece of shit that abused my mom, my sister, brother, and myself for almost 10 years. In that span of time I felt so alone and didn’t think my life had any purpose whatsoever - the days of living in fear had its grip on me and I slowly fell into a dark hole that would change me to this day. I’ve been diagnosed w/ Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, OCD, and ADHD from all the years of abuse.

Not to mention - in 2018 my dad walked out on us and left my mother and his kids to suffer with no income, so we went without food, water, electricity, etc for a while. At this point in my life I genuinely didn’t want to be alive anymore and I almost took my own life - until I decided I needed to get help.

Five years later and I’m pushing myself everyday to finish my Nursing Degree in college and I fight every. single. day. I fight for my mental well-being, my future, my dreams, my purpose, my happiness.

The point of this post is to say that artists like Jarad put thoughts I had at various point in my life into lyrics that I was unable to describe to others, and he spoke on mental health issues that not many people in this society like to do. I miss this man so fucking much and it’s times like right now that my mental health has been beating me nonstop, I just wish there was a way I never had to struggle w/ these thoughts or feelings anymore b/c honestly they’re so draining and it’s hard to keep yourself steady 24/7 while trying to juggle college, hobbies, etc.

If you’ve read everything to the end then thank you - I appreciate you for reading this and maybe you can even relate. Regardless of what your reason is for fighting everyday, please don’t give up. You have so much to live for and you’re gonna be a FUCKING hero for the future generations to come, just like Jarad Higgins was.

Rest in peace, Juice.

I miss you, your fans miss you, and I’m forever thankful for all the memories. You’ve saved me more than you’ll ever know 🖤

#juice wrld #kid laroi #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #always keep fighting #writing #late night thinking #depression

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stitchthesewounds · 2 years ago

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Stitch and I got a boba tea slush today.

We are having a bad day. Anxiety through the roof, hopelessness blanketing every inch of breathable space, I don't know what to do anymore. Two months of job searching, of selling my possessions, of doing odd jobs and taking commissions for my barely acceptable "art," doing everything I can to take care of my bills all while battling severe depression and anxiety, only to end up barely passing the test and working a mere three days before making a critical mistake and getting let go... I can't help but feel like it was fate. I feel like I was never meant to make it in this world, like I'm a loser and always will be, like there is something fundamentally wrong with me that can never be made up for or changed, and that I am helpless against invisible forces who have already decided the course of my life to be a cruel and pathetic one. I've never been good enough. I will never be good enough.

The weight of my responsibilities crushes me now. It's too late, I won't find another job in time, I don't know what else to sell or what else to do, I fear I won't make my rent or anything else. So what do I do? Spend money. Spend money on boba. Because I'm a pathetic mess that can't sort out her priorities and can't make the right decisions. Sometimes I feel so incapable, so inadequate, of handling any adult responsibilities. I feel like a child in an adults body. Like I'm not ready for the world. I want to run and hide from it. I tell myself it's an act of self care, to take my mind off the stress of what's happened, to make myself feel better in order to do what I need to do next, but I can't help but judge myself for it, and wonder if it's just an excuse to overconsume and feed my ED.

I know that I need to start over... again... start the lengthy, anxiety-inducing process of putting in 20+ applications a day again, of fearing the interviews and presenting myself as confident and capable when I am anything but again, of stressing about finding the right clothes to wear when I've outgrown everything, of feeling more hopeless and more stressed with every day that passes as unemployed...

I feel so incredibly overwhelmed by it all. So many steps, so many days, so many emotions I can't handle. I feel like i can't handle anything at all, and I'm shutting down. It's too much, I'll never get through it, I'll never make it anywhere, I can't. Pathetic excuses, I know. It's just so much and I don't know how to deal with it.

I don't see any hope. Not like I ever did in the first place. Fear for survival, for consequences, drove me. I honestly don't know how I even did as much as I did before this, I don't know how I put in so many applications and did those handful of interviews and made it through while being so depressed and hating myself so much, and I don't think I can do it again. I can't see any sort of future or any hope at all that things will get better. How can I keep going, how can I plan for my bills or for getting a job, when I don't even see as far as the end of the day? I don't see any way out, any way up, only down, and I don't want that.

Stitch gave me a big hug when I got the call and he hasn't let go of me all day. I don't want to disappoint him, i can't. I need to be better than this. I have to be. I need to be flawless or I won't get hired. I need to be flawless or I won't deserve to exist. And I am only riddled with flaws, and they just grow as my waistline does every single day. I am a truly disgusting being.

I don't know what to do. I sat on the couch in tears for awhile, paralyzed by the overwhelming amount of adult tasks that squeeze my throat l, and the only thing that got me up was the thought of boba. Like a true fatass, I dragged my mascara-streaked face and my best friend to the tea shop for some sugar, left so as to not be observed my judgemental eyes, and sit on the couch at my emotionally abusive fathers house, pondering the reason for my existence and whether I need to exist at all.

Why am I the way that I am? Why doesn't anything work the way that it should, the way everyone tells you it does when you're a child? Why does everything i feel come all at once or not at all? Why does it feel like I'm not actually living at all? Why does true happiness not exist in the real world? Will anything ever be enough?

I don't know what Stitch would say to me right now. I don't know if I want him to encourage or to berate me. I wish I could say something positive and uplifting, something that makes it sound like I'm winning the recovery game and am on my way to a better life, but it's just not here in the cards today. I'm crushed. I feel hopeless. Nothing makes it better. Stitch being in my arms is the only thing I want to feel

#stitch #lilo and stitch #mental instability #mental illness #mental heath issues #boba #boba tea #bubble tea #kinda depressing #tw depressing thoughts #hopelessness

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lgteamoutreach · 25 days ago

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Divorce Problems: 7 Key Challenges Faced by Divorcees

Divorce can be an emotionally and financially draining experience, affecting not only the individuals directly involved but also their families, friends, and social circles. While every divorce is unique, there are common challenges that many people face during the process. Understanding these problems can help individuals better prepare and navigate the difficult journey ahead. Below are seven significant divorce problems and how to deal with them.

1. Emotional Turmoil and Stress

Divorce is often described as one of the most stressful life events, comparable to the death of a loved one. It brings a wave of emotions, including sadness, anger, anxiety, and sometimes even relief, making it challenging to maintain emotional balance. The emotional upheaval can lead to depression, stress, or feelings of failure, especially if the divorce is unexpected or unwanted.

How to Manage Emotional Stress:

- Seek Professional Support: Therapy or counseling can provide a safe space to process your emotions and get guidance on how to cope with the changes.

- Lean on Your Support System: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can offer empathy and understanding.

- Practice Self-Care: Regular exercise, healthy eating, and mindfulness practices such as meditation can help reduce stress.

2. Financial Instability

One of the most significant problems people face during divorce is financial uncertainty. Going from a two-income household to a single income can be a shock to the system. Divorce often brings about expenses related to legal fees, property division, spousal support, and child support, leaving individuals worried about their financial future.

How to Tackle Financial Instability:

- Budget Planning: Develop a post-divorce budget to accommodate your new financial situation. This will help you keep track of spending and savings.

- Consider Financial Advice: Consulting a financial planner can help you organize assets, liabilities, and income, ensuring you make sound decisions during this transition.

- Review Legal Options: Know your legal rights when it comes to alimony, property division, and other financial arrangements to avoid getting overwhelmed.

3. Impact on Children

For parents, one of the most challenging aspects of divorce is the potential impact on their children. Divorce can be emotionally taxing for children, who may experience confusion, fear, sadness, or anger about the changes in their family structure. Co-parenting arrangements, custody battles, and disagreements between parents can further exacerbate these emotions.

How to Help Children Cope:

- Open Communication: Ensure that your children feel heard and understood. Encourage them to express their feelings and let them know it's okay to feel sad or angry.

- Maintain Routines: Stability is crucial for children during a divorce. Keeping routines and consistent schedules can help create a sense of normalcy.

- Avoid Involving Children in Conflict: Never put your children in the middle of disputes or force them to choose sides. Always prioritize their emotional well-being over disagreements with your ex-spouse.

4. Loneliness and Social Isolation

When a marriage ends, so does a significant social structure. Friends and family may take sides, and previously shared social circles may become divided. This can leave a person feeling isolated and lonely, especially if their spouse was their primary source of companionship. The feeling of starting over, without a partner, can be overwhelming.

Overcoming Loneliness:

- Reconnect with Friends: Rebuild friendships that may have been neglected during your marriage. Socializing and rekindling old connections can help alleviate loneliness.

- Join Support Groups: Divorce support groups offer a community of people going through similar experiences, providing comfort and understanding.

- Engage in New Activities: Take this time to explore new hobbies, interests, or activities. Join a club, start a new fitness routine, or volunteer to meet new people and build a social network.

5. Legal Complications and Disputes

The legal process of divorce can be confusing, lengthy, and expensive. Disputes over child custody, alimony, division of assets, and property can create tension and prolong the process. This can be further complicated if one or both parties are not willing to compromise, leading to drawn-out court battles.

How to Navigate Legal Issues:

- Hire an Experienced Attorney: A good divorce attorney can guide you through the legal proceedings and help protect your interests. They will also explain your rights and obligations.

- Consider Mediation: If both parties are willing, mediation can be a less confrontational and more cost-effective way to resolve disputes without going to court.

- Be Prepared for Compromise: Understanding that not everything will go your way is important. Being willing to compromise on certain issues can speed up the process and reduce stress.

6. Identity Crisis

After years of being part of a couple, many people struggle with their sense of identity after a divorce. Questions like, "Who am I without my partner?" or "What’s my purpose now?" may arise. This loss of identity can lead to a lack of self-confidence, uncertainty about the future, and difficulty moving on.

Rebuilding Your Identity:

- Focus on Personal Growth: Take this opportunity to rediscover yourself. What are your passions, interests, and goals? Pursue them.

- Build a Supportive Environment: Surround yourself with positive influences and people who encourage your growth.

- Set New Goals: Create both short-term and long-term goals to give yourself a sense of purpose and direction in this new chapter of life.

7. Stigma and Social Judgment

Although divorce is common, societal stigma around divorce still exists in some communities. Friends, family, and even acquaintances may judge the decision to end the marriage, offering unsolicited advice or criticism. This can lead to feelings of shame or inadequacy, especially if cultural or religious beliefs oppose divorce.

Dealing with Social Judgment:

- Ignore the Naysayers: Focus on what’s best for you rather than what others think. Their opinions do not define your worth or the validity of your decision.

- Educate Yourself: Understand that divorce is not a failure. It’s often a necessary step for personal well-being and growth. Reframe your thinking to see it as a new beginning rather than an end.

- Build New Social Circles: Surround yourself with people who understand and support your decision. It may be necessary to create new friendships that align with your values and goals.

Conclusion

Divorce is never easy, but knowing the common problems and how to address them can make the process less daunting. Whether it's dealing with emotional stress, financial instability, or social isolation, there are steps you can take to rebuild your life. Surrounding yourself with support, being patient with yourself, and seeking professional help where necessary are all essential strategies for moving forward after divorce.

Please Visit my Website https://lauriegerber.com/

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tarnishedpharoah · 1 month ago

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"Adult Prayer"

Growing up I used to pray for Wealth, Fame, and lots of money.

Not that I ever tasted any of those, but I'm an adult now. I have different dreams and wants.

I've been agnostic for many years now. Not really sure what's out there, and I don't believe it's a merciful God.

Tonight is one of those nights where I give up and pray again. I do not pray for a powerful being to come jump to my aid and save me, no. It's a prayer out of despair.

I pray that I meet someone, a friend or a lover, who'll fight the world for me. Someone that loves me for being the weirdest version of myself.

I pray to pass a single day without a moment of depression, sadness, anxiety, and crippling fear of my dark future.

I wanna live in a society where people actually love and help one another. Where differences don't matter as long as you love and respect your neighbor.

I wanna have friends.. Lots and lots of friends like I used to have.. People who would be willing to be there in a second in a case of an emergency. Someone who truly appreciates friendship and hold it sacred. I wanna make connections again, go out all day and night with people and only go home when I have to sleep.

I wanna be surrounded by people who have a lot of love in their hearts to give. I wanna feel acts of kindness towards me. I wanna feel like a deserve a goddamn good thing in this life.

I want a beautiful woman to sleep with at night and wake up to the next morning. Someone to cuddle with and touch. I wanna get lost in physical connection and intimacy.

I wanna have my own family. A family filled with friends I can blindly trust and people that I'm comfortable being around, people that love letting me shine and be my true self.

I don't wanna be alone anymore.. I don't wanna feel like this every single day for the rest of my life..

I wanna have confidence in myself again.

I want to heal.. More than anything else. I wanna heal this pain in my heart.

I wanna learn how to be kinder to myself.. How to stop blaming myself for every single thing that is wrong with my life.

I wanna breathe happiness for a while.. I'm not a bad dude, and I think I deserve to be happy for a little bit at least, don't I?

Truth is, I've been broken for a while now. Ever since the divorce, life has been hell more than anything else. I do not know what to do to make myself really happy. All options and paths I can think of are full of sadness.

I pray that one day I'll have the guts to save me from myself.

#I pray #Prayer #My thoughts #Me #Lonely

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awiseandhappylife · 3 months ago

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Mindfulness and Meditation

The Power of Mindfulness and Meditation: A Journey to Inner Peace

What is Mindfulness?

Being fully present in the moment, aware of our surroundings and our actions, and avoiding becoming too reactive or overwhelmed by them is the practice of mindfulness. It entails being acutely aware of your feelings, thoughts, and environment while avoiding passing judgment in favor of curiosity. Due to its significant positive impacts on mental health, mindfulness — which has its roots in ancient Buddhist traditions — has grown in prominence in contemporary psychology.

Key Elements of Mindfulness:

Present Moment Awareness: Focus on the here and now, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

Acceptance: Observe your thoughts and emotions without trying to change or suppress them.

Non-Judgment: Practice neutrality in your observations, letting go of the tendency to label experiences as good or bad.

Intentionality: Actively bring your attention to the present, instead of operating on autopilot.

The Science Behind Mindfulness

Studies have demonstrated that engaging in mindfulness techniques can alter the structure of the brain. In particular, it can reduce activity in the brain’s fear and anxiety center, the amygdala, and increase gray matter in regions linked to memory, learning, and emotional control. These adjustments aid in easing the signs and symptoms of persistent stress, anxiety, and depression.

Benefits of Mindfulness:

Reduces stress and anxiety

Improves focus and concentration

Enhances emotional regulation

Increases self-awareness and empathy

Promotes better sleep and overall health

What is Meditation?

One method for training the mind to focus and refocus ideas is meditation. Although it provides the basis of mindfulness, it can also be practiced alone and has a wide range of applications. By calming the mind, meditation enables you to take charge of your thoughts and cultivate a profound sense of inner peace.

Types of Meditation:

Focused Attention Meditation: Involves focusing on a single point, such as the breath, a mantra, or an object, to anchor the mind.

Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta): Cultivates an attitude of love and compassion toward yourself and others.

Body Scan Meditation: Involves systematically focusing on different parts of the body to release tension and bring awareness to physical sensations.

Transcendental Meditation: Uses mantras to transcend ordinary thought and achieve deep relaxation.

Mindfulness Meditation: Encourages awareness of the present moment by observing thoughts and sensations without attachment or judgment.

The Benefits of Meditation

The benefits of meditation extend far beyond relaxation. Regular meditation practice has been shown to have profound effects on both the mind and body, improving mental clarity, emotional stability, and physical health.

Mental Health Benefits:

Reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety

Increases emotional resilience

Enhances self-awareness and compassion

Improves focus, memory, and cognitive function

Cultivates a sense of inner peace and well-being

Physical Health Benefits:

Lowers blood pressure

Reduces inflammation and strengthens the immune system

Improves sleep quality

Enhances pain management

Slows aging by promoting healthy cellular function

How to Start a Mindfulness and Meditation Practice

It can be intimidating to begin a mindfulness and meditation practice, particularly if you’ve never used these methods before. But the simplicity of both mindfulness and meditation is their beauty. To build mindfulness and quiet, all you need is a few minutes a day, no special equipment, and plenty of time.

Steps to Begin:

Set Aside Time: Start small by setting aside 5–10 minutes each day. Gradually increase the time as you become more comfortable.

Find a Quiet Space: Choose a place where you can sit comfortably without distractions. This could be a quiet room, a park, or any space where you feel at ease.

Focus on Your Breath: Begin by taking slow, deep breaths. Pay attention to the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back to your breath.

Practice Non-Judgment: As thoughts and emotions arise, observe them without judgment. Allow them to come and go, acknowledging their presence but not becoming attached to them.

Be Consistent: Like any skill, mindfulness and meditation improve with practice. The key is consistency. Even on busy days, try to carve out a few moments for yourself.

Use Guided Meditations: If you’re unsure where to start, guided meditations can be a helpful tool. Many apps and online platforms offer free resources to help you get started.

Incorporating Mindfulness into Daily Life

Mindfulness doesn’t have to be confined to a meditation cushion. You can integrate mindful awareness into your everyday activities, from eating and walking to working and communicating.

Tips for Mindful Living:

Mindful Eating: Pay attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of your food. Eat slowly and savor each bite, rather than rushing through meals.

Mindful Walking: When walking, feel the ground beneath your feet and notice the sensations in your body. Observe your surroundings — the sights, sounds, and smells around you.

Mindful Communication: Practice listening deeply to others without interrupting or planning your response. Be fully present in the conversation.

Mindful Working: Take short breaks throughout the day to pause and refocus. Practice being fully present in your tasks, rather than multitasking or letting your mind wander.

Overcoming Common Challenges

It’s normal to encounter challenges when starting a mindfulness or meditation practice. The mind may resist stillness, and it can be frustrating when thoughts keep intruding. However, these challenges are part of the journey.

Tips to Overcome Obstacles:

Be Patient: Don’t expect instant results. Mindfulness and meditation are practices that develop over time.

Let Go of Perfection: There is no “right” or “wrong” way to meditate. The goal is not to stop thinking but to observe thoughts without attachment.

Start Small: If sitting in silence feels overwhelming, start with short sessions and gradually increase the time.

Seek Support: Join a meditation group or use an app to help guide your practice and keep you accountable.

Conclusion: Embracing Mindfulness and Meditation for a Better Life

Practicing mindfulness and meditation on a regular basis can cause significant changes in your perception of the world. By fostering a sense of calm, equilibrium, and clarity, these techniques help you face life’s obstacles more skillfully and resiliently. Mindfulness and meditation offer a transforming trip inward, a road to reconnecting with your actual self, regardless of your goals: stress alleviation, emotional well-being, or spiritual progress

Article Source :- https://medium.com/@awiseandhappylife/mindfulness-and-meditation-21dc1cb2c772

#Mindfulness and Meditation

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