#NIE HUAISANG HAS A PET TURTLE!!!!

[beefdogcoffee]

A translation of Jiang Cheng’s birthday special from the audio drama! Translation by @/melondenden (on twitter, now X)! Happy birthday Jiang Cheng 💜💖

[bishy437]

honestly i’m not into audio dramas so i never knew about nhs owning a spiritual turtle until mimi’s recent jc bday video brought it up again and this minor detail has changed my entire life exponentially.

Nie Huaisang owns a turtle.

you know where turtles live?

in water.

you know where there’s lots and lots and lots of water?

Lotus Pier.

Therefore it is only to be expected that nhs would bring his pet turtle to live in LP when he marries jc in this essay I will—

[pieridae-art]

Nie Huaisang having a pet turtle throws a wrench in my pet au but like it’s my au I make the rules. He has a shrike specifically for narrative purposes

[thebiscuiteternal]

you dont have to answer if you dont feel up to it, but whats some of the stuff in your wip files?

You're fine, nonnie. I don't mind continuing to answer stuff like this.

Currently Being (Slowly) Worked On:

Butterfly Effect AU (one of the "Nie Huaisang Destroys Himself" ideas, though this one doesn't exactly go as planned and that works out better for everyone. Even him.)

Ghosts and Reincarnates In A "Cursed" Temple

Extended concept version of the "Huaisang is thrown back to his teenage years while still believing it was his fault his brother died" post

Jin Guangyao gets de-aged by a curse and now Huaisang has to deal with the adorable 10yo version of the ex who killed his brother

On Hiatus Until I Can Punch Through Blocks:

Rewind, Rewind, Rewind (the one where Jin Guangyao is given a do-over and at the end of the last chapter was on his way to Lotus Pier to try and avert an early version of the massacre)

Your Shadow Holding Hands With Mine (the one where Nie Huaisang accidentally becomes a living saber and this may or may not work out better for Wei Wuxian)

Untitled Sangcheng fic where Jiang Cheng accidentally gets turned into a magpie and starts thinking he might want to stay that way forever after getting a taste of just how well Huaisang spoils his birds

The last two magical pets to be added to The Menagerie (a living turtle made of wet clay, the shadow skeleton deer)

[cloudrecessespod]

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Have we ever got a robust one today, listeners! Friend of the show and live reading VA Cade joins us to talk about Japanese audio drama (co-starring Best Jeanist) news, how to pass the ancient Chinese vampire times bar exam, and the proper division of zombie funny comedy body parts. But mostly we talk about how everyone’s favorite trust fund baby, who we kin and stan, Nie Huaisang, is back, and he has a magic pet turtle. Imagine making any of this up

Take part in our Valentine’s Day special! Write a little “fan fiction” and put that trademark Podrecesses twist on it and we’ll read it! RULES HERE: 1) Between 100 and 1,000 words 2) Rated T For Teen or under 3) Doesn’t have to be romantic but should focus on a relationship of some type. No weird ships but we trust you know better than that 4) Run it through Google Translate using a language of your choice. Then use our friend Google to translate it back into English. 5) Send both the original and the result, as well as the language you used in your Content Creation, to cloudrecessespod@gmail.com with the subject “Valentine’s” ! Deadline is 11:59pm on Monday, February 10th whatever time zone applies to you!

Intro: Carly Rae Jepsen – I Really Like You, arr. & perf. by Olivia Lin Outro: Snoop Dogg ft. Dr. Dre – Nuthin’ But a G Thang, arr. & perf. by Trey Eley Also used: -Hatsune Miku – Senbonzakura, arr. & perf. by Moyun

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[thebiscuiteternal]

Okay so for, like, the last three days-ish, my brain has been like “You like all three potential pairings of these losers, why haven’t you made them a polyship yet?” and a whole bunch of little twitter threads emerged.

So here’s me falling into the delightful chaos that would be SangChengYao developing in the period right after the end of Sunshot.

(this is both A Little Bit Long and A Mess and combines multiple adaptations, I apologize)

Opening Timeline:

Jiang Cheng has a moment of clarity where he realizes that trying to rebuild the sect, bring home Wei Wuxian, and give Jiang Yanli the wedding she deserves all at once is going to completely tear him apart, so he sucks up his pride and contacts Nie Huaisang, who’s the only person he knows who’s good at this party shit. 

For bonus points, Huaisang has history with Jin Guangyao and maybe he knows the man well enough to keep him and Jiang Cheng from being at each other’s throats.

And it works! Huaisang is willing to act as assistant wedding planner/mediator.

During one of his go-between trips to Koi Tower, he happens to run across one of the many incidents of either Jin Guangshan or Jin-furen treating his San-ge like shit. Well now. That won’t do at all. 

Sneaky little bitch that he is, he happens to mention to Jiang Cheng that hmm, well, Jin Guangyao sure is Going Through A Lot for a hateful stepmother and a father who would rather eat glass than give him a kind word and- oh, whoops, there goes Jiang-zongzhu to have A Chat with San-ge. Oh no. Oh woe. This can only end badly, surely.

So how about that wedding planning?

Now the three of them are working much more in concert with much less arguing (and much less input from the older generation). Jin Guangyao isn’t exactly happy that Nie Huaisang is meddling in his personal business, but at the same time, he’s rather touched by the care since it proves Huaisang is still sweet on him. And the conversations with Jiang-zongzhu have been very enlightening, especially since he knows many of the same rumors about Jin Guangshan that Nie Huaisang does, which proves it’s not just the mutual enmity of the Nie and Jin sects going on.

A pretty schemer who’s very good at playing the harmless idiot and an equally pretty strong but diminished sect leader who has something to prove and people to protect.

Jin Guangyao goes into this in full turtle-shell mode. Pure manipulation, no emotions allowed. He is setting up more protections for himself since he doesn’t know how far the sworn brotherhood will actually help. This is transactional. Period.

And then at some point they’re holed up in the gardens and Nie Huaisang is laying out lunch because they’ve been debating decorations for the main hall for hours and Jiang Cheng is half dozing because he arrived at an absolutely fuck this hour of the morning and Jin Guangyao realizes oh... fuck. He... really likes this... whatever it is that they’ve formed, not fully a romance but definitely more than simple friendship. He likes it when Nie Huaisang bullies him into taking a break and pets his hair until he falls alseep. He likes it when Jiang Cheng “inadvertently” uses his height to block his father from making unspoken demands during dinner. He likes being able to do things for them in turn, and not because... 

It’s comfortable. It’s safe in a way he’s maybe avoided ever letting himself have before because he was always watching the ice under his feet for cracks. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep it, even if it might mean refusing his father.

And... that’s kind of a terrifying realization on its own.

(And on a less serious note, imagine Jiang Yanli witnessing Jiang Cheng kissing one or the other of his boyfriends, only to later see said boyfriend cuddling their third. Oh no! Her A-Cheng would never knowingly be a homewrecker, so this must mean-!

She gently confronts him, asking if he’s okay and does she need to ruin someone? 

And he, red as a tomato, with his face in his hands, has to explain that no, jiejie, nobody’s cheating-)