#NHK Switch

[prfm-multiverse]

Next time #NHK Switch Interview will be an actor #Yumi Kawai × Stage choreographer #MIKIKO

Since her debut in 2019, Yumi Kawai has demonstrated her overwhelming acting skills, and her "roots of expression" are in dance. In the second half of the show, the two will dance a choreography inspired by Yumi Kawai and MIKIKO…!

EP1 1/10 EP2 1/17

[diavolito]

Yuzu: appears in some video content

Fanyus' galleries after:

[falseandrealultravival]

Fourth proposal to NHK

This argument may be valid only for programming in the Tokyo metropolitan area, but it is too early in the morning for the terrestrial rebroadcast of "overseas news" on BS to be in the 4:00 AM range, which is a waste. Knowing overseas news is essential as a viewer. Then, looking at the programs after that, at 5:00, 6:00, and 7:00 AM, there are domestic news that can be replaced with each other three times. Why don't you take the plunge and switch the domestic news at 6:00 and the overseas news at 4:00? I think that it is a very simple solution to turn the public's eyes to overseas. (I do not have a BS contract)

Note: I've made proposals to NHK too much for the last three occasions, but this time I've made a proposal that I think they can answer.

Babylman

NHKへの４回目の提案

この議論は首都圏の番組編成にのみ有効かもしれないが、BSの「海外ニュース」の地上波での再放送が、朝の４時台というのは、いかにも早朝過ぎて、もったいない。海外のニュースを知るのは視聴者として必須であるのに、である。そこで以後の番組を見渡すと、５時、６時、７時台と、３回も相互に代替可能な国内ニュースが並ぶ。ここは思い切って、６時台の国内ニュースと、４時台の海外ニュースを入れ替えたらどうか。国民の目を、より海外に向けるために、非常に簡単なソリューションではないかと考える。（私はBSの契約はしていない）

注：私はここ3回、NHKの手に余る提案をしてきたが、今回は彼らが答えられそうな提案をした。

[zaruba-needslove]

Lel. Randomly caught an episode of Pythagoras Switch Special Edition.... and lol

Why is this guy randomly popping up in this show lel

[tokidokitokyo]

My Favourite Japanese Children's Shows

My son is 3 and I have watched a lot of Japanese children's shows with him (screen time is family time!). Here are some of my faves and why. These shows are all from NHK E-TV. Would I recommend to use these for personal study? I am using them to help teach my son Japanese, and for this it works doubly well as I learn how children's society operates in Japan and how Japanese people learn Japanese as well as social etiquette. If you don't have a child, you might get bored easily from these as they are not designed with an adult audience in mind, and you can find much better resources online. You also need a subscription to NHK somehow to watch them, which could be difficult or costly to obtain overseas. However, I like the stories and the characters, as well as the little things I learn from watching them. If you are thinking of teaching your child Japanese this might be a useful resource.

いないいないばあっ！ Inai inai baa! (Peek-a-boo!) This show is designed for very young children and features the beloved dog Wan Wan, played by the same actor since it first started airing in 1996. Wan Wan is accompanied by a young girl, played by various actresses in a succession over the year, and other fun characters. There is singing and make-believe and crafts, as well as short segments featuring nature (animals, plants) or short animations. It's very slow as it is made for infants and toddlers, but that makes it very cute. A group of specially selected young toddlers appears for the dances and songs. Why I Like It: The animation is fun and visually appealing, the activities are play based and you can do them at home, and you learn some new vocabulary. Age: Infants to young Toddlers Clip: DVD Advertisement

おかあさんといっしょ Okaasan to issho (With Mother) This show is designed to be watched with mom (it comes on in the mornings and evenings on NHK E-TV). There are a male and female singing talent, and a male and female athletic talent, who participate in singing and acting clips. There are also a group of costumed characters that have a short story that is continued each week. It has a variety of songs, short skits, a collection of human and costumed actors, and a predictable flow that changes slightly based on the day of the week (e.g. teeth brushing days, story days, etc.). It also shows real kids doing real activities, which kids like to watch. Why I Like It: The songs are easy and catchy, the stories are easy to follow and the words are spoken clearly and precisely. Age: Infants to Toddlers/Preschoolers Clip: DVD Advertisement

アンパンマン Anpanman (Anpanman) This cartoon is a long running cartoon for children (since 1988!) with an incredible line of every toy imaginable to supplement your love for the red-bean bun man (anpan = red bean bun pastry). The story lines are simple and predictable, there are a variety of "fairy" characters that are composed of different Japanese food items, plants, utensils, and animals; and in the end the villains are just really hungry. Anpanman works to help people who are in trouble or hungry (sometimes even the villains), or being bullied by the hungry villains and the story always ends well. Why I Like It: The plot is easy to follow and you can learn about Japanese food and drink specialties via the endless supply of characters, and the songs are catchy. Age: Infants to Toddlers/Preschoolers Clip: Ending TV Theme Song

ピタゴラスイッチ Pitagora Suicchi (Pythagora Switch) Pythagora Switch is a 15-minute long show involving devices (Pythagora Switch) that are equivalent to the American Rube Goldberg machine and the British Heath Robinson contraption - basically, a sequence of events made from household objects that end with (usually) the words ピタゴラスイッチ being revealed. The idea is to encourage children to augment their way of thinking and to solve or understand what the machine will do before they see the movements happen. There are also other segments in which mechanisms are explained and shown visually. And usually there is rock-paper-scissors via a Pythagora Switch where you work out what the device will throw and try to beat it! The language in this show is more complicated because it is geared to a wider, older audience. Why I Like It: It helps me to think and enthralls my son with the moving parts. It's puzzle solving and sparks interest in the way the world works. Age: Toddlers to Elementary School Students Clip: 4 3 2 1 2 1 そうち

[shoyostar]

⌕ www.theloveclub.ca ⨾ ꠵ © shoyostar.

── 𝓦𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝓘𝐍 𝓟𝐑𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝓜𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓!

𝒞𝒽 : welcome, here are some of the events the club is planning. we hope to see you when they commence.

〔 𝓟𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 ﹒ 𝓟𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 〕

last updated. 19.06.24.

a little peak into a few of the drafts i have and am working on ‹𝟹 you can ask questions about them but please be polite about it !!

𝓘𝐌𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓. i am free to stop working on, cancel, or change any of the drafts i have posted here.

these are not all my drafts, just ones i am currently focused on / have been working on for some time. i work on multiple wips at a time.

these are MY original works, they are not up for grabs.

✰ ┊ 𝓗𝐀𝐈𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐔!!

WE HAVE A WINNER! ┊ brazil!shoyo. [ nsfw.┊cwc : 7.3k ]

premise. amidst the stretching sea of rigged boardwalk games that line the tourist attractions of brazil's brazen beach shorelines, you manage to land yourself a jackpot.

content. boardwalk gamebooth employee + lifeguard!shoyo / f!reader. fluff. smut. mild angst. brazil arc but shoyo isn't a food delivery boy. manga timeskip spoilers. reader lwk has not so great friends (?). holiday romance. reader wears dresses and bikinis. dubcon (alcohol, tipsy but not drunk). soft dom!shoyo. unprotected sex. oral (f! recieving). creampie. overstimulation.

estimated word count: 15k+

PLAY FOR KEEPS (AND I DON’T LOSE) ┊ tobio kageyama. [ nsfw.┊cwc : 3.4k ]

premise. left heartbroken and wayward after a bitter breakup, a close family friend invites you to italy for a much needed vacation— and to meet her husband’s old volleyball teammate who now plays in the italian professional division.

content. tobio kageyama / f!reader. smut. mild angst. manga timeskip spoilers. holiday romance. age gap (26 and 34). switch/dom leaning!reader. sub leaning!tobio. dubcon (alcohol + drunk sex). mentions of anxiety, self conciousness and breakups. mutual masturbation. oral (f + m receiving). tobio has an affinity for white lace.

estimated word count: 15k+

DEAR FUTURE HUSBAND (03) ┊ fiancé!JNT. [ sfw.┊cwc : 1.5k ]

premise. due to popular demand, the nhk has organized another live special with the monster generation’s fiancées! tune in for this segment of would you rather + a surprise game with our special sponsor! ❤︎

content. haikyu!! jnt / f!reader. (motoya komori, kourai hoshiumi, aran ojiro & kenma kozume). fluff. downbad fiancés. suggestive jokes & allusions to sex. petnames.

estimated word count: 8-10k.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ┊ 𝓖𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝓘𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐓

‘TIL THE SUN SETS (AND RISES AGAIN) ┊ renaissance!albedo. [ sfw.┊cwc : 4.9k ]

premise. his hands grow more frail with each day, the strokes he paints becoming sloppy and uneven. but he'll paint despite the pain. until his last breath— 'til the sun sets.

content. renaissance painter!albedo / f!reader. fluff + angst. historical au. strangers to lovers. established relationship (married couple). character death. chronically ill!albedo. not entirely historically accurate. mentions of blood / bloodletting. for @/kentopedia’s love through the ages collab

estimated word count: 8-10k.

🃁 ┊ 𝓟𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀 𝟓

TBA . . .

⌕ ┊ 𝓣𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝓞𝐅 𝓣𝐇𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐒

TBA . . .

2024 © property of SHOYOSTAR. all rights reserved. do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize my works. no translations.

[tieflingkisser]

Powerful earthquake hits western Japan, triggering tsunami warnings

Japan's Meteorological Agency have downgraded the "major tsunami warning" issued for Noto in Ishikawa prefecture to a "tsunami warning," according to public broadcaster NHK.  Agency officials switched the warning at around 8:30 p.m. local time, about four hours after the 7.5 magnitude quake struck western Japan on Monday. Tsunami warnings are issued when waves are expected to be 3 meters (9.8 feet) or above.  The last time a major tsunami warning was issued in Japan was in 2011, when a devastating tsunami with 30-foot waves hit after a 9.1 magnitude quake struck 370 kilometers (230 miles) northeast of Tokyo.

[yuzu-all-the-way]

Yuzuru Hanyu x Koichi Domoto 'Switch Interview' Part 1

Translation credits to @/marika_yuzu on X/twt:

Yuzu’s commentary on SEIMEI at NHK Trophy 2015: - it’s a youthful & energetic performance - the synchronization with music is sloppy - the moment he woke up that day, he knew he was going to do well. At the start of the 2nd half, if the jump combo went well, he knew that the rest would be fine. He landed 4T3T so he felt relieved - if he were to perform this now, the direction of his gaze would be different - he wouldn’t do fist pumps now during a perf like he did then after the final jump (3Lz). Maintaining the worldview is important At the end SEIMEI commentary, Yuzu said he’s doing more difficult things now; 4 quads as opposed to 3 in 2015. Dōmoto-san: “Expressing this using weird language… What the heck are you aiming for?” Yuzu: “Well, yes- I feel the same. I don’t know it myself. What’s my goal?”

Yuzu has a complex: He says "his arms & legs aren’t long when Dōmoto-san complimented him on his long limbs?! Yuzu: “Really, I have an inferiority complex about my short arms […] My legs are lengthened with the help of my skate boots.” (@/marika_yuzu)

Koichi went to Ice Rink Sendai to watch Yuzu during a practice session that was meant for improving his explosive power. There are bits and pieces of Yuzu practicing and here is some of the music he used:

-> Ten to Chi to

-> I'm Invincible - Ado

-> Parisienne Walkways

-> Boku no Koto

-> something from Final Fantasy

Translation credits to @/LGeorgin on X/twt

Yuzu on his training method

[ringoarchive]

Sheena Ringo and Kentaro Kobayashi promotional pictures for the NHK Special 「SWITCHインタビュー 達人達」, aired on November 30th, 2019.

[worldofgoo]

figure 1. basically this means that I can read the majority of really common words but the less common they get the more lost I am

figure 2. this one means that I'm theoretically like a japanese 3rd grader in terms of my literacy

first off check out my japanese proficiency. i started august of last year, apparently, using a (paid) course called wanikani, which is focused on drilling kanji using radicals + mnemonics. it also uses a SRS system if you want to look into what that entails (basically the spacing of the reviews for a given item becomes longer and longer & in this case if you get it right after 3 months of not having seen it you don't have to study it anymore)

progress has slowed over time (I work fulltime now...) but I'm still sticking with it. Actually I might as well show off my timeline too (I love charts and graphs...)

The scale of it is janky because of statistics bullshit (I did a lot of levels very quickly, and the slow ones are taking a while to actually effect my median because. they're slow) but you can see where I switched from being obsessed to kind of overwhelmed, I try to take a month per level now which means it'll take me like 3 more years to finish the course (it ends at level 60).

Uhh, other information since I've been asked this, my history with studying Japanese has been

-trying to teach myself with duolingo + online textbooks + anime, this didn't really work but I learned kana

-two semesters (intensive) in college, gave me new vocabulary but I feel like the focus was grammar which I'm sure I'll appreciate if I ever learn to speak it

-wanikani, occasionally translating memes/tweets, reading articles on nhk news easy, uhhh watching/listening to shit in japanese (very limited usefulness on its own, animelon is very good if it has shows youre interested in on it)

-all of the things here besides Wanikani are super sporadic and I would not call any of it much of a routine. but I'm at the point in the course where you need to start applying the knowledge or it starts feeling kind of useless, so my current plan is to combine interests, so I'm now (VERY SLOWLY, hopefully at least weekly progress) watching films with japanese audio and subtitles

-in the future: when reading is less agonizing, I want to translate manga. I'd also like to practice speaking (I don't feel confident to even try right now), possibly with the Tandem app, or even a tutor if it's something I can afford and fit into a schedule eventually

-end goal is going to japan and not seeming like a dipshit in the process

[prfm-multiverse]

NHK Switch Interview Kyary Pamyu Pamyu x Naoya Inoue

Google Drive

[samantha-dan564]

JR東海によりますと、一部の新幹線では停車中でも蓄電池を使って、冷房を作動させることができるということで、現在、車内の状況を詳しく調べています。

N700Sの蓄電池が役に立った感じだね

Xの話だとパンタグラフを再度上げたらまた停電したという書き込みがあったんだけ��、そうなるとEGS（Emergency Ground Switch／保護接地スイッチ）が投入状態になっちゃってるのかしら？

パンタグラフからの電気が主回路に行かず停電するとしたらEGSが作動しているとしか思えないんだよな

[falseandrealultravival]

NHK shuts out the largest opposition party (Essay)

Junya Ogawa

On October 1, 2024, when Shigeru Ishiba was elected as the new Prime Minister in Japan, Junya Ogawa, Secretary General of the Constitutional Democratic Party of Japan, held a debate against the new Prime Minister. Still, NHK muted his remarks and switched to chatting between the announcer and commentator in the studio during his speech, and did not broadcast them properly. Why cut out the remarks of a member of the largest opposition party, even if they conveyed every word of the remarks of the president of the Liberal Democratic Party?

This measure is simply unfair. However, when I looked into it later, I found that in 2019, there was a dispute between Ogawa and NHK about how to handle his remarks. If that is the case, NHK cut off Ogawa's comments because of a "personal grudge." This outrageous act cannot be tolerated as a public broadcaster. This is a broadcasting crime! In particular, NHK's recent actions have been particularly conspicuous, and are inappropriate for a public broadcaster. It is time to consider dissolution.

PS: Junya Ogawa has been brilliantly manipulated by the Ministry of Finance, making the absurd claim that Japan can no longer expect growth (who decided that?), that a 25% consumption tax would be good, and that it would be better for Japan's population to decrease, but he still shouldn't be deprived of the opportunity to speak.

Rei Morishita

2024.10.04

NHKは、野党第一党をシャットアウトする（エッセイ）

２０２４年１０月１日、日本で石破茂新首相が選出されたとき、反対討議を小川淳也・立憲民主党幹事長が行ったが、ＮＨＫは彼の発言にミュートを掛け、その発言の間スタジオの、アナウンサーと解説委員の雑談に切り替え、ちゃんと放送しなかった。自民党の総裁の発言は一字一句つたえても、野党第一党の議員の発言をカットするとはどういうことか？

このような措置は不当だというほかにない。もっとも、あとで調べてみると、２０１９年に、この小川議員とＮＨＫの間で、彼の発言の扱いについて、一悶着起きていたのが解った。そうであるなら、ＮＨＫは「私怨」のために、小川議員の発言を遮ったことになる。これは公共放送としては許せない暴挙である。これは放送犯罪である！特に最近のＮＨＫは、公共放送にあるまじき行為が目立つ。解散を考える時期に来ている。

PS　小川淳也は、みごとに財務省の口車に乗り、日本はもう成長は望めないから（誰が決めた？）、消費税２５％がよく、日本の人口も減ったほうが良いと、めちゃくちゃな主張をしているが、それでも発言の機会は奪うべきではない。

[zaruba-needslove]

Randomly switching to NHK just to see my Micchi-baby reading a poetry about hope 😃

[tokyomariegold]

2023/7/22〜

7月22日 今日は風が爽やかで涼しかった。 どこを見ても夏休みだ！

休日出勤をして、職場の街にある山への登山客と電車に乗る。みなさん朝から頑張るな〜と、先日、のこの山くらいの標高ではそんなに山頂も涼しくない、と教えてもらったことを思い出す。

久しぶりにフィルムカメラを持って出かけられた。 確か先月末のネガがそのまま入っていて、私にしてはこんなに現像を出せていないのは珍しい。フィルムが高騰して、フジも生産を再開したみたいだけれど、80%(?!)値上げするとのこと。 でもfashion snapに“一本2,000円、それでもフィルムで撮り続ける人は増えている”という記事があった。

休日の職場は、ただでさえ広くて、人がいて��閑散とした感じがあるのに、今日はさらにしんとしていた。ちゃんとこんなにもみんなまじめに休んでいるのね、と安心もする。

一期下の方とバスで帰りながら「夏休みって感じだね〜」と話した。そのまま電車で、パルコのナインチェイベントの話や、長野県立美術館でmameの展示を観た話、結婚式に行った話を聞かせてもらった。 mameの話が出来る嬉しさや、遠くの街で開催されている展示にぱっと足を運べるフットワークの軽さに、職場にこうゆう方がいてくれて救われる…と改めて思う。

そのまま錦糸町パルコへ行ってみた！ 錦糸町パルコ、初めて入ったけれど、上下階の移動キャパだけがオーバーしていて(フロアはそんなに混んでない)、フロアに降り立つ毎に並ぶ。なんか来たことある？他のところと間違えているだけ？！ パルコにしては、吉祥寺のマルイ感。 ミッフィーのお店屋さんは展開がなく、フォトスポットだけだった！ので、近くのコスメショップの店員さんに頼んで写真を撮ってもらう。

下の階の無印だけが充実していた。本や商品の陳列の様子がパルコの無印っぽかった。

数年前、就活した時に落とされた某大学の採用面接の面接官が、今隣の部署の上司だと知ってしまい、あんまり就活を気負って頑張らないほうが良かったな、と思ってしまう。

展示の連絡の返信をやっとできたり、メールを返してえらい！

7月23日 アイスクリームフィーバーを、好きな友人たちと観て、31アイスクリームをまんまと食べてきた。 私の住んでいる町の隣の、大きいショッピングモールの映画館で待ち合わせ。 今日も一定量のシャボン玉が飛んで、酷暑の中サッカーのパスを親子でしていたり、テントを張ってピクニックをしている家族連れがいて、幸せもいいけれど倒れないといいな、と思ってしまう。

待ち合わせ駅の改札に、3人それぞれアイスクリーム仕様のファッションを身にまとって集合。ただ日曜日(？)に上映スケジュールが更新される常識を知らず、なんと今日から観ようとしていた回はなくなっていた…！ 次は18時台なので、どうしよう、とわたわた。 30分移動した先に、12時から上映回がある、と友人が調べてくれて、そちらへ行ってみることに。 一人で行っていたら、どうにも落ち込んで暑い中歩き回って倒れていたかも、と思うと夏はなるべく誰かと遊ぶか、お部屋でぐったりしていた方が良いのかも。

移動した先の、郊外の、ありきたりなショッピングモールの3階の映画館でアイスクリームフィーバーを鑑賞。 初めて10分くらい観られなかったけれど、とても、とても嬉しい気分になる映画だった。本当に、友人達と一緒に観られて良かった！ 駅前に31アイスクリームがある、と、3人でアイス(コーン)を買って、外の木陰で食べた。 私は今年初アイスだった。と、いうか１年ぶり？ 31はもっと久しぶりで、ポッピングシャワーにした！

風があって少しは涼しかったけれど、やはり酷暑でアイスは一瞬で溶けてしまって、映画を観てコーンが良かった私達は、したたるアイスで手がべっとべとになってしまった。

全然知らない町だったけれど意外とすんなり帰ってこられて良かった。

昨晩、NHKアカデミアやwiredでお話をしていた睡眠学者の監修したポケモンスリープをダウンロードして、今朝登録してみた。 今まで全くポケモンをやってこなかったけれど、早速ピカチュウをもらえて嬉しい。 ユーザーネームの付け方の話を友人にしたら、“だいふく”とつけている、と教えてくれて、以前、他の友人にswitchを借りた時もユーザーネームが“だいふく”だったことを話す。

お仕事全然頑張れない窓なので、年休消化計画ばかり立ててしまう。 スーパーで半額���桃を懲りずに買ってしまった。 今日は美味しいといいな。

[mintskiez]

Please Don't Leave

Hi, here's a bittersweet little fanfic based on the aftermath the latest episode. All of them are traumatized but it's going to be okay. This is for all my homies who just need a hug. 

CW: Swearing, brief mention of blood, child abuse, and guns (nothing more dramatic than the canon show) 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some days are better than others. Some days you wake up at 9AM to the sound of a painfully off-key four year old singing to an NHK kids program, the distant clatter of cutlery, and the smell of pancakes. Some days the sunlight spills over the peony scented sheets like gold and you let the calm swallow you whole. 

Today is not one of those days.Today is one of those days where you wake up in a cold sweat, heaving on the bathroom floor. The tiles had drained all warmth from your body. The prickly gash in your arm has bled through the tensor bandage and is now staining the sterile white porcelain of the bathtub. You forgot to turn off those sickly greenish lights again. Serves you right for staying up three nights buzzed off of energy drinks with a loaded glock at your side. You wish you had saved more on your energy bill so you wouldn’t have to see your gaunt feverish reflection in the mirror. 

‘Clean it up—“ you hear in your father’s voice. It sounds dangerously close. The tension in those words is so tight it feels like it’s inches from making contact with your skin. Shakily you erase any trace of your stay in this room.

‘Miri.'

You silently pace down the hall. Gentle on the heel and breathe through your mouth slowly so you don’t make a sound. You’ve memorized where the floorboards creek and where they hold your weight without complaint. Gently you push the pads of your fingers into the sticker and crayon covered door before slipping your head in. The cat clock is ticking away methodically. It’s 2:08 AM. You watch the lump of pink pyjamas and messy brown hair with bated breath. Your shoulders ease an inch when your confirm the rise and fall of her chest. She groans and mumbles something before rolling over to face you.

'She’s safe.' You scold yourself mentally. 'Go back to your post.’

That’s when she opens her big brown eyes and screams. You jolt and step backwards. Your footing is lost on a discarded heap of laundry resting on the hardwood floor. Your head makes contact with the threshold. Stars. Suddenly the whimpers hidden behind a quilted shield becomes uncontrollable wailing. 

Within moments you hear sheets being thrown down the hall and the slam of a bedroom door. Kazuki sprints down the hall within seconds with a baseball bat over his shoulder, hair as wild as his bleary stare. You lock eyes. He slowly lowers his weapon, tosses it to the side, and starts hissing exasperated remarks before bursting into Miri’s bedroom and flipping on the light switch. “Papa, there’s a monster—“ Miri chokes.Kazuki sighs and meets her embrace with a firm bear hug. “Miri, there is no monster—"

‘Monster.' You only catch the tail end of what Kazuki says because you’re already halfway down the hall. 

   He finds you an hour later on the balcony. He’s likely lulled her back to sleep and replaced himself with several plushies to get here. The cool air and calming scent of tobacco has reduced rigors to a fine tremor. It’s peaceful for a moment as you watch the flickering lights over the bridge and the faraway sound of the river flowing. Another drag of a cigarette steadies your uneven breathing. Kazuki knows better than to rest a hand on your shoulder right now and you are grateful for it. Instead he joins you at the railing.    

“Kyu-chan called.” Kazuki said softly. “Is this why you gave us these?” He slipped a couple plane tickets, forged passports, and an envelope of cash out from his dressing gown and waved it listlessly over the three story drop.    

“You two don’t deserve this.” You murmur. You don’t deserve to get hurt because of me.    

Kazuki gave a bitter laugh. “Is this why you’ve been so eager on chores and taking Miri to school lately? You’re playing hero?” You turn to him a little shocked. “Miri didn’t deserve the parents she was given. I didn’t deserve to lose my wife and unborn child. You didn’t deserve to be abused and turned into a child soldier.”    

“I—“     

"Do you know what we do deserve, Rei?” He barks. “We deserve this stupid little family. I don’t care how much I suck at our job or how much you suck at being a civilian, I would die to keep it. You are fucking insane if you think I’m going to leave you!”    

You stare, something sadder than a scream trying to escape your paralyzed tongue. A raw, beaten, and longing part of you lamely lifts a hand to reach for him. Within seconds you’re holding onto each other for dear life. Kazuki’s shaky breathing is muffled into your shoulder. You can feel the steadying beat of his heart against your ribs. One hand is woven through your hair and another drawing circles into your back. All you can do is squeeze him tighter.

Somehow you both make it to the living room. Kazuki pulls two chairs between the sofa and coffee table before reinforcing them with couch cushions. Everything is moving in slow motion, slipping between your fingers like water. It’s only when he returns from the hall with a blanket that you start to question the scene unfolding in front of you.     

“What are you doing?”    

“Making a pillow fort,” he huffs.     

“Why?”    

Kazuki looks at his work with a solemn smile. “When Miri does it she always seems happier.”    

Before you can comment he’s already dragging you by the shirt collar and crawling inside. It’s cramped, dangerously soft, and the little lamp between covers the fleece ceiling with a maple syrup hue. You sink into the cushions a bit before someone draws up your sleeve and starts working on the shoddy dressing. You’re too exhausted to protest.    

“You were bleeding on the floor, dumbass.” He scolds. “How long were you planning to hide this?”    

You shrug halfheartedly. He pours saline over the gash. You clench your jaw. By the time the blood has been dabbed away with gauze, the edges taped together, and a thick pad of cotton is slapped overtop, you’re nodding off. You wonder if there is another reality where you two met as children and sat in a pillow fort together.     

You don’t realize that he left until you hear the ticking on the gas burner and the clunk of the kettle. A needy insecure part of you wants to call him back. Instead of pushing it down as usual, you think of what he said on the balcony and feel a little more at ease. It’s not long before you are both sitting shoulder to shoulder with warm herbal tea in your hands. It’s raspberry, lavender, and camomile, with honey, of course.     

That’s when you hear footsteps.     

The floorboards groan.         

The hair stands on the back of your neck.     

A shadow looms over the fleece roof of the pillow fort.         

That’s when a drowsy Miri appears with a strawberry print blanket trailing behind her. She whines about Kazuki-papa leaving before crawling into your lap. Kazuki appears relieved but a little offended.    

“Rei-papa,” she yawns. “You’re not a monster. I’m sorry.” You gently brush her bangs out of her eyes. “When mama gets sad, she leaves. Please don’t leave.”     

There is that creeping feeling in your throat again. She nuzzles her porcelain cheek into your chest and grips balls up the grey fabric in her tiny hands. Neither you or Kazuki say it aloud but raising Miri has become a kind of healing. For Kazuki, it's moving on. It's becoming the father he was so excited about becoming before it was all taken away. For you it's learning the patience and kindness that you were never entitled to. Suddenly the numbness of blue screens and cigarette smoke falls away with a sober realization: you could lose what you thought were never worthy of. 

You curl into her little fragile body and feel your bones start to shake. You don’t realize how hard you're biting back tears until you taste metal. Kazuki envelopes both of you like the giant space heater he is. Maybe it’s the weight on your mind or Kazuki’s stupid pec crushing your aching arm but years of self loathing, guilt, and anger start to spill out in tears racing down your cheeks. It’s so overwhelming your stomach collapses into itself and all you can do is gasp for air. Startled, Miri starts bawling too. It takes twenty minutes of gentle rocking, whispered words of reassurance, and wiping away tears but the tide of your breath turns slow and littered with hiccups. You forget the feeling that catharsis forced out of you and float in that cotton headspace a bit while smoothing out the cowlicks on your daughter’s head.     

“I’m sorry I made Rei-papa cry…” Miri sobs.    

“No!” You blurt out. The thought of letting her carry that guilt makes you queasy.     

Kazuki sighs and cups her face with one hand. “Miri, sometimes people need to cry but they don’t feel safe enough to do it.” He explains. “Then all that sad and angry makes you sick and you forget how to smile.”    

Miri sniffs and lets out a meek but thoughtful “oh".     

“That’s why we need family,” he announces. Oh god, not another inspirational rant. “So we don’t get emotionally constipated!”    

Miri knocks her head to the side. “What’s a con-stah-pated?"    

Kazuki cackles. You elbow him in the side. He pulls both of you down with a dramatic roar into the cushions in retaliation. Miri squeaks and giggles. She looks up at you with equally red and puffy eyes, slaps her grubby fingers on your cheek, and smiles. It’s incredibly effective.    

“I’m not leaving.”    

“Promise?”    

“Promise.”

   The next day you wake up from a dreamless sleep. Hazy shadows slowly come into focus. You hear the noisy little inhales and exhales of a child pressed into your shoulder. Your forehead is warm against a man’s stubbly jaw. The refrigerator hums and somewhere far away there are sparrows singing. Shards of rose and orange morning light dance across the blanket canvas protecting all of you. All of the tension wound up in your back has come undone. The pain in your arm is dull and distant. Your eyes start to grow heavy again. Next time you wake up it's 9AM, there’s a painfully off-key four year old singing to an NHK kids program, the table is being set, and you smell pancakes.