#NEWS HEADLINE

[will-it-forehead]

Rolling Stone's Headline Regarding Henry Kissinger's Death

Will Forehead

[cat-mermaid]

Wow i just found two new articles with headers that fucking completely misrepresent that wat Michael Moore's recent open letter said:

what the fuck man, are you expecting people not to actually read the rest of the article?

do you think people aren't going to read this part?

fuck off with that, the man is 100% cool with Luigi

[princehendir]

I swear to god that green day has had this exact same "scandal" like five times now.

[petnews2day]

A New Era of Blockchain Gaming for Cat Enthusiasts

New Post has been published on https://petn.ws/a8Gcw

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[selznick]

so you give the death toll of israelis from the hamas attack but not palestinians from israeli attackes? fuck off

[geminisee]

a federal appeals court has struck down the case for net neutrality, effectively killing it ahead of trump’s presidency (in which he will appoint an FCC chair who opposes it).

3 Jan 2025, 11:07am EST

[idontmindifuforgetme]

Nobody gives a fuck about Biden very ambiguously “negotiating” with Israel, all while he continues funding the weapons it’s using to genocide Palestinians. Yesterday the IOF abducted 16 people during dawn prayers in Al-Aqsa Mosque, and there are still no reports of aid being allowed through the “opened” Beit Hanoun crossing. I say opened in quotation marks because no aid trucks entered Gaza despite Israel’s claims that they would permit “temporary aid.” It’s all smoke and mirrors—and it’s pure evil.

[unhookedcandles]

Bro I can't believe George Russell made the dailymail headline of Max and Kelly's baby announcement 😭😭😭

[happyheidi]

deer walks into a store and later brings her whole family for another visit 🛒

Horsetooth Store, Gas, and RV Park

(via)

[redsray]

Wayne gala but all of the batkids were forced to go so now they are SET on giving Bruce the biggest headache ever while also entertaining themselves. read: they have a bet going on who can have the most ridiculous headline in the paper the next morning. some honourable mentions include:

Bruce Wayne's (il?)legal Ward(?) Stephanie Brown Claims to 'Always Have at Least Three of Bruce's Wallets' on Her Person. (With Interview! "Always have to be prepared, y'know? S'not like he'll notice one is missing.")

Eldest Wayne Son Richard Grayson Seen Falling Face First Into the Chocolate Fountain at Recent Charity Gala: Proceeds to Get Back Up, Laugh it Off and Return Thirty Seconds Later Unphased. (With Bonus Interview! "My hair just falls back into place perfectly, even after exposed to melted chocolate 30 seconds beforehand.")

Jason Todd-Wayne's First Public (Official!) Appearance Since He Returned: Everything You Need to Know, From Claims of An Alien Kidnapping to Punching the Newly-Hired Bartender! (With Exclusive Interview: "He looked at Cass weird. Creep. Should send him to those aliens.")

Bruce Wayne's Youngest Damian Wayne Denies Bringing Mysterious Pets to Recent Gala; Allegedly Does Not Notice the Hoard of Animals Hidden Behind Him, Including a Cow. (With New Interview: "Pets? Here? Foolish. All of my pets are safely in their wing of the manor. Do not disrespect their name.")

Timothy Drake-Wayne and His Gala Experiences: Wayne Middle Child Is Caught Falling Asleep At Multiple Tables During the Charity Gala, Claims to 'Not Know What Sleep Is' When Asked. (Bonus Interview! "Sleeping? At tables? Please, I have some class. What even is sleep? Is this a new social custom I am unaware of?")

see also: Timothy Drake-Wayne Denies Ownership of Skateboard Placed Under Bruce Wayne's Chair Despite His Name Clearly Etched On the Back.

Bruce Wayne's Newest Ward Duke Thomas Accidentally Spills Punch On His Guardian; Proceeds to Make Wayne Thank Him Because 'That Suit Was A Fashion Disaster'. (With Exclusive Interview: "That suit looked like it was picked out by Dick. That's not a good thing. It looked better with punch spilt on it.")

Eldest Daughter of Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Reported Hiding Behind Each of Her Siblings in Succession Throughout the Recent Gala; When Asked, Each Sibling Denied Seeing The Young Woman. (With Added Interview: "Fun game. Hide and seek, with paparazzi. Fun to scare.")

[langernameohnebedeutung]

[389]

[warandpeas]

Last Unicorn

[todaysbird]

i mean. isn’t that a reason right there