#NEVER OVER KIT'S FACE HERE

[spybrarian]

It's road rage Sunday

[gaythreadrunner]

so you're taking care of your computer's software health. NICE! but what about its physical health?

because yes, computers do need the occasional real-world checkup to make sure that they're running well. but what exactly does that entail? i see many posts about maintaining software health: limit your browser tabs, ensure your antiviruses are working properly, so on and so forth, but checking the physical components is something i sparsely see discussed here.

so what's the deal with physical maintenance? well, have you ever had your computer hack and wheeze trying to keep up even if your OS and all your drivers are up to date and functioning? if you've never opened up your computer before, you may be shocked to find just how FILTHY it can get in there:

take a closer look at that snout dust! PTOOEY .. BLECKH

computers are much more likely to accumulate internal dust if they're sitting on the floor, and especially if they're near any vents and/or if you have pets.

ok, you've figured out how to open your device and now you're staring at the second coming of the dust bowl in your gaming rig. what now? let's explore some basic cleaning tips, deep cleaning pointers for your CPU/GPU, and tips to help keep maintain your computer's physical health in the future.

first of all, turn off your computer and unplug it (for my computer, i turn it off, turn off the PSU switch, unplug it, and then press the power button for about 30 seconds to drain the capacitors and minimize static risk)

generally, you're gonna want to have THESE items:

some sort of face mask (dust masks are best, but anything that'll help keep the harmful dust out of your lungs will generally work)

a can of compressed air (or an electric duster if you're ~fancy~. they look and function like turbo blowdryers)

a vacuum will be useful if there's a LOT of dust, best to use in combination with an anti-static cleaning kit

if you ARE gonna use a vacuum, spray every attachment you use with an anti-static spray. disturbing large amounts of dust creates a lot of static, and electronics are very sensitive to that.

it's never a bad idea to grab an grounding wristband as well, but as long as you wear loose clothes and always keep some part of your skin in contact with the case, you should be ok. (i don't know how much this applies to laptops and smaller devices, since the cases for those are typically plastic)

if there's staining (like from smoke) or there's more gunk caked on than you thought, you can gently clean electronic components with a brush/paper towel/microfiber and medical-grade isopropyl alcohol ONLY. do not use any other cleaning alcohols for this task.

before you do anything, TAKE THAT FUCKER OUTSIDE! always clean a dusty device where the wind can carry that shit away, because oh my GOD will it fuck up your lungs like crazy. (that, and compressed air cans have fluorocarbons in them, which isn't great to breathe in either)

most of the time, you'll probably be fine just using an air duster. for compressed air cans, spray the dirty surfaces in short bursts. an electric duster can be constantly blown. when dusting fans, make sure that you're holding the blades still as to not accidentally make them spin too fast (ESPECIALLY with an electric duster!), since that can damage the mechanism that makes them spin.

however, if there's a lot of dust, it may be better to give it a vacuuming first. anything from a handheld to a shop vac will work, and attachments with brushes on the end will help tons with loosening up even more dust. and of course ALWAYS make sure that you're spraying any attachments with anti-static spray, and keep a hand on the case of the computer to electrically ground yourself since the hose will be in contact with the internals.

if there's any left over, give it a blast with the duster.

in some rare cases, there may be some extra gunk caked onto the internals, and you may have to really get your hands in there or take components out individually. if you don't have an anti static wristband (the ones with an alligator clip) do your best to ALWAYS keep your skin in contact with the case as you're finagling around in there.

it's probably a good idea to have disposable gloves on for this. grab your isopropyl and towel of choice (microfiber is ideal, but dirtier PCs may need disposable paper/shop towels), soak it a little bit, and gently scrub off the gunk n' grime as needed.

with heat sinks specifically, since they're just big blocks of metal, they're the one part of a component that can be cleaned under water. if a dusting doesn't suffice, gently scrub it with a brush under warm, soapy water, rinse thoroughly, and let it dry on a towel for a few hours before reassembling it into the electronic components.

if there's still little bits stuck in the radiator fins, stick an isopropyl-soaked q-tip in there to push it out.

the dust settles, everything's put back together, and it's all clean in there again. YAY!!!!! but what if you're still experiencing temperature problems? well, it typically comes down to either the CPU or GPU:

IF ITS THE CPU: if you took off the cooler to clean it, then i hope you remembered to dab some fresh thermal paste on there. you should be replacing thermal paste few years, otherwise it dries out and loses its effectiveness.

the type you use makes a huge difference too; i like to use arctic's mx-4, it has excellent thermal conductivity while still being an electrical insulator, so spillover isn't a problem. if you go for a liquid metal compound, please do your research first, since some of them can run the risk of corroding the cooler pipes and/or the CPU's outer casing.

to replace thermal paste, make sure that the crusty old paste is sufficiently scrubbed off the contact points of both the CPU and cooler. again, use isopropyl for this. once it's all cleaned off, put about a pea-sized amount of paste on the CPU and carefully lower the cooler onto the mounting bracket before fastening it in place. (also it really doesn't matter how you put the paste on, as long as it ends up covering most of the contact area)

also if you're still using the cooler your CPU came with, you should probably get a better cooler. especially if you're doing gaming or using graphically/mathematically intensive software. sorry. the stock coolers that most CPUs come with are mid as hell. you can get a nice ARGB one for less than 20 USD i promise its worth it

IF ITS THE GPU: like CPUs, your graphics card also needs to have its thermal paste cleaned out and replaced every so often. but they also utilize a second thermal material called thermal pads. these are usually made of either silica gel or a very thick clay-like grease, and come in different thicknesses. my favoured pads are owltree's 12.8w grease pads, the assorted pack comes with enough for about 4-5 GPUs.

taking apart a GPU seems scary, and understandably so; they're incredibly expensive and hard-working pieces of technology! but i've done it twice now, and it's actually surprisingly simple (as long as you keep track of all the damn screws... im lucky there's a magnetized screw mat in the house i can use)

i recommend watching a deep clean/teardown video of the GPU model you have before digging into it yourself. generally, they separate into 4 distinct portions: the outer shell, the heatsink, the board, and the backplate.

the shell contains the fans and any possible RGB elements. it'll have 1-2 controllers plugged into the board, one for the fans and one for the lighting elements if there are any. once the case is unscrewed, unplug these connectors with a firm squeeze and tug.

these tend to be surprisingly dusty on the inside, so it's probably a good idea to blast it with a duster. again, make sure to hold the fans so they don't overspin. you can also remove the fans from the shell and clean them individually if you'd like.

the heatsink is BIG and heavy, and you can do all the same stuff here that you would with a CPU cooler heatsink. it may take a bit of effort to tug off if the thermal materials are really making it stick to the board. once it's off, scrub the old thermal paste, blast it with a duster, and wash under soapy water if needed before rinsing thoroughly and leaving it to dry for a while.

the backplate is just a flat piece of metal that protects the back side of the board. usually all this will need is a simple wipedown.

the board is where all the magic happens, and will usually have a layout that's something like this:

clean up as needed; gently scrub off old thermal paste, scrape off the old thermal pads (but take close note of how thick they are so you can replace them with the correct pads), and brush/wipe down the dust and grease on each side as needed. take care to avoid touching the PCIe connector too much (the bar of golden pins that juts out from the bottom)

thermal padding varies from card to card (i recommend checking thermal pad placements for your gpu in water cooling guides, even if you're not doing water cooling) but it's typically gonna be on THESE spots:

the VRAM chips surrounding the die (main chip) along with the small black chips next to the capacitors will require thermal pads the most. cut each one to size, carefully peel off the plastic films, and press each piece onto the chips.

now you can grab your thermal paste and put some on that big shiny die. now take your freshly pasted/padded board and CAREFULLY lower it back onto the heatsink. i highly suggest having a good source of lightning for this, since shifting around the pieces too much trying to get them to align properly can displace the thermal pads and mess with how the paste spreads.

screw the heatsink tight to the board, and double check to make sure that the pads and paste are snug against the heat sink. now put the backplate and shell back on and BAM YOU'RE DONE! with the paste and pads i used, i was able to bring down the temperature of my cards by a good 10-15 °C.

ok you've done all this deep cleaning shit and your computer is happy and healthy. what can you do for your computer's health in the future?

DUST AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR. haul that thang outside and spray that shit out to stop it from building up for too long.

KEEP IT OFF THE FLOOR. if you can, of course, not everyone has the desk room for it. computers accumulate dust easier when they're close to the floor. if you do need to keep it on the floor, you might have to dust it every 6-8 months rather than once a year.

AND STOP PUTTING YOUR LAPTOPS ON SOFT SURFACES I SWEAR TO GOD

GET A FAN CONTROLLER. motherboards are DOGSHIT at maintaining fan speeds!!!! there are physical fan hubs that use controller software, but if you can't afford that, fancontrol by rem0o is a stellar software-only option.

IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE CASE FANS, GET THEM. the number of fans depends on the motherboard form factor your case can accommodate (ATX cases typically have 6-8), but having that air circulation is very important to maintaining ideal temperatures. arctic makes fantastic budget-friendly fans.

IF YOU HAVE AN NVMe HARD DRIVE: please put an aluminum heat sink on that thang. they get toasty :(

OK THATS IT I THINK. if anyone else has tips they wanna add, go right on ahead. ok thank you bye your computer will love you

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor anthology

MDNI | poly 141 x fem fat reader | masterlist

cw: menstruation (not graphic), afab anatomy

Part 4: “Girl Problems”

You shift in the office chair, stomach lurching uncomfortably. It’s been bothering you today - groaning and moaning nonstop. So far you blamed it on the suspicious chicken salad you got from the discount grocery store. You took every stomach soother you could, all the way down to chugging tea on the hottest day of spring so far.

With a rather pathetic groan you stand to meander your way to the bathroom. Surely sitting on the pot will help - at least as a placebo. Just as you do, though, a very distinct wet feeling makes itself known. You freeze, briefly, as if it will go away if you stand still enough.

“Ah, fuck!” You gasp, grabbing your purse and jogging down the hall to the single bath stall and popping the lock shut.

As soon as you sit, you let out a small sigh of relief. At least you caught it before you turned your underwear into a total crime scene. You’d rather not have to explain to John why you need to go home and change. You dig through your bag to your usual pocket of various supplies. From lotion to a sewing kit. It never hurts to be prepared.

Except, as you rifle around, you’re not finding your usual stash. There should be at least three in here… when did-?

The very loud, distinct memory of a girl at a bar stopping you while canvassing for some sanitary products hits you like a train.

“Whatever you’ve got I’ll take.” She practically begged. So, you handed them all over because got forbid someone get stranded during the most hellish week of the month. Like you are now.

You make a deep, frustrated noise in your throat and bury your face in your hands. You’ve been meaning to put a basket of backup wipes, pads, and tampons in the little bathroom cabinet - not just for you but for customers, too. It just kept getting pushed off when you got busy with other things.

Shit. What are you gonna do? If you put your pants back on you’ll just bleed through them in ten minutes. Cursed with a heavy flow (or blessed with a strong connection to the moon, as your former hippie roommate insisted.) Less time than that, probably, based on the vicious cramp that travels from your lower back to pelvis. You won’t be able to get to the corner store with out leaving a war crime in your path.

John’s the only person in the studio right now. He doesn’t have a client for another hour or so but you’d rather die than tell your hot boss you’re bleeding everywhere. For a few, quiet moments, you violently bounce your knee and go through every possibility. Maybe you’ll suddenly turn into the flash and you can get home before anyone even notices. You don’t really have much of a choice, do you?

With another groan you pull your phone from your pocket, thumb hovering over his contact for just a few beats too long while you work up the courage.

>> ok so this is terrible

>> im so sorry

>> but im having girl problems and am stuck in the bathroom

>> im so sorry this is so unprofessional

Girl problems? What are you? In fucking middle school? Before you can send yet another in a long string of planned apologies, John answers.

J >> How can I help?

>> i dont have any products on me

>> meant to stock the bathroom

>> sorry

J >> Stop apologizing

J >> What kind do you use? I’ll go to the corner store up the street

You breathe out a sigh of relief, still nervously gnawing at your lip as you send him what you need with an example picture (just in case) and profusely insist you’ll pay him back. John refuses. You’ll just have to sneak the cash in his tips or something.

It isn’t long before you hear the front doorbell ring, heavy footsteps, then a gentle tap on the bathroom door. “Y’alright, love?”

You perk up. “John, I’m so sorry-“

“Didn’t ask if you were sorry. Asked if you were alright.”

You snort. “Yeah…”

“I’m goin’ to unlock the door to slide these in. No lookin’ I swear.” John says. As if you were worried about that. You trust John. More than maybe any other man you’ve known (not that the bar is very high.) It’s nice of him to say, though. The door barely cracks open, just enough for him to toss the box to you across the floor and shut it immediately. You barely even see his arm. “That all you need?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” You murmur, bending awkwardly and snatching up the box. “I’m really sorry. I know it’s not really… appropriate.”

“Love, it’s normal. It happens. Just get y’self situated.” John taps the door once before you hear his footsteps drift down the hall toward the front.

You feel a bit skittish the rest of the day. You know it’s stupid. John’s a grown man and it’s a natural thing that happens and it’s fine. He said it’s fine. If it wasn’t fine you probably wouldn’t still look up to him the way that you do - the way that you have since you came here. The way everyone else seems to. Even so, you step around him a little wider than usual on your way out - keeping your head hung low and both hands tightly gripping your purse.

You chew your lip, shifting in place as he locks the front door. “Look, John, I-“

“If you apologize again I’m gonna fire you.” John mutters, pulling on the door to make sure it’s properly secured. There’s humor in it, though, the corners of his lips quirked up slightly.

You scoff, still not quite able to meet his eye.

“Sweetheart, look at me.” When you don’t move fast enough, apparently, he tilts your head up with a light touch. His eyes are so warm despite their icy blue shade. Sparkly in the setting sun. “Any man worth his breath wouldn’t give a shite. I’m sorry if that hasn’t been your experience, but really, it’s fine. I’ll help you out a thousand times over if y’need.”

“Okay…” You murmur, suddenly very distracted by the feeling of his fingers touching your chin, light as is it. You pull away and clear your throat, hoping he doesn’t notice the growing heat in your cheeks. “Well, uh, see you tomorrow, then.”

John nods, still smiling. “Sleep well, dove.”

When you come in the next day, you expect to get teased. A snide comment or a sideways look. You would have at any other job you’d worked - especially one with all men. All giggling and poking at you like a bear they know can’t bite back. No one says a thing outside of their usual greetings when you make your way to the front desk, though. Johnny pinches your hip like normal, Simon greets you with his new pun of the day, Kyle gives you a distracted wave over the hum of his practice gun. John doesn’t bat an eye when he says hello and checks in about the plan for the day.

You open the bottom drawer that you usually tuck your purse into, pausing before you set it inside. At the bottom, neatly tied together with a piece of twine, sits a king size chocolate bar and a pack of Midol.

If John notices the way you become extra smiley after that discovery, he doesn’t comment.

A/N: This was very self-indulgent but I’m having a bad time over here and need to be saved.

[classyrbf]

COME HOME! — TOJI FUSHIGURO

SYNOPSIS...you’re afraid one day he won’t come home, leaving you in a constant state of worry and fear of what could happen especially with his family in on the line

INFO...toji fushiguro x ex assassin fem!reader, fluff with some angst, domestic relationship, megumi is readers bio kid, toji an assassin, mentions of blood, sweet ending, not proofread

OTHER...likes and reblogs are appreciated

i'm sorry for being gone for so long and not writing anything or even sticking to my kinktober plan, quite literally fell into a black hole of unmotivation and writing smut was not helping at all lmao

The night was brutal, cold air striking your skin and the winds were sharp. Yet, you sat by the cracked window, your skin felt like it was on fire. Police sirens flooded the silence and the small dim lamp did its best to light up the room. With your knees tucked to your chest, you sat and watched the cars drive by, one of the streetlights flickering every now and again. Little Megumi slept soundly in his room, tucked warmly in his bed with his favorite stuffed dinosaur. You had been up for hours, waiting for Toji to come back home from his job.

You lived with worry that one day he wouldn’t show up, come back home to you and his son. What he did was dangerous, being an assassin and what not. He always brags about how he’s the best, so fast and strong, silent as a mouse that most of them don’t even get the chance. But, what if there’s someone out there who is strong enough to put up a fight? What if he gets caught? Seriously injured? That’s what makes you worry. You knew what you were getting yourself into from the moment you met him because you also used to be an assassin, but as soon as you found out you were pregnant, that lifestyle was cut short. You’d never do anything to put your son in danger.

Many talks between you Toji about changing what he does, doing something better, safer, always led to arguments. It’s like killing was the only thing he knew how to do. It’s sad to say. But you couldn’t help but love him, and worry for him, care for him. You only wanted Megumi to be safe. The job was a dangerous one. Creating enemies along the way, a target painted on your head. You just needed him to come home. Nervously biting at your nails, your eyes scanned the streets and tops of the grungy apartment buildings. You always wanted to move out of this damn city, but Toji said it’d be too obvious if you two moved somewhere nice, somewhere you couldn’t blend in. As much as you hate to admit it, he was right. You just didn’t want Megumi growing up here, turning out like you or his father. You wanted better for your son.

The rattling of the doorknob makes your head spin, jumping to your feet before even thinking. You were on full alert, hoping whoever walks in was your husband and your husband only. Your eyes narrowed, the bulky frame of Toji stumbling through the doorway, his skin pale and shining with sweat. He slammed the door behind him, groaning in pain as he dragged his feet across the floor and to the nearest chair. He didn’t look too well.

Immediately, you walked out of the living room and into the kitchen, assessing him with a worried look in your eye. “Toji, baby?” You nearly fall over when you cup his face, his nose bloody and lip busted. You don’t even notice he’s holding his side. “What the fuck happened?” You’re cupping his face, eyes scanning his finger when you see the copious amounts of blood on his hands. Lifting his shirt, you see the huge gash on his side. “Fucking hell.”

“Missed you too, sweets,” he struggles to even speak, letting out a pained sigh. “Where’s the kid?” He asks, looking at you rummaging through the cabinets for the first aid kit.

“He’s fine, sleeping. Why?” You glance over your shoulder, snatching the first aid off of the shelf. You kneel in front of him, taking the bottle of alcohol and pouring it straight onto the wound.

“Fuck!” He screams, slamming his hand on the table. “Son of a bitch!” He hisses, clenching his eyes shut. “Could’ve warned me, you know?” He breathed heavily, his chest heaving up and down.

“Would’ve been worse if I did. Answer my questions,” you demand, wiping the blood around his wound while applying pressure.

“Fucker that got me knew about you and the kid. Though…shit—thought someone else might’ve came after you two. I tried getting here as fast as I could,” he sighs. His eyes flutter shut, clenching his fists so hard the whites of his knuckles show. “Don’t worry, I killed him. Obviously.”

“Yeah, he still fucked you up pretty good though.” You shake your head, grabbing the bandage and placing it over the gash. “I told you Toji, we need to leave, find somewhere safer, better. You need to quiet this shit, okay? We got a fucking kid to look out for—”

“Mommy? Daddy?” The soft sound of Megumi’s voice made you spin. He rubs his tired eyes, clinging onto his stuffed dinosaur. “Is daddy okay? I heard him yell.”

“I’m okay, Megs.” Toji flashes a smile. “Mommy’s just helping me with something and then I’ll come tuck you back in, alright? Go back to bed.” He points back to his room.

“Daddy’s okay, baby,” you say softly. Megs just nods and tiredly shuffles back into his room. A deep sigh escapes your lips as you wrap the gauze tightly around his torso before cutting it with the scissors and tucking it under. You toss the scissors to the floor, standing back to your feet to rid your hands of his blood. This is what you were afraid of. This is what you didn’t want. You were a mother now and you knew just how cruel this world was.

You take a rag and wet it under the water before gently lifting his chin, and wiping the blood from his nose. You’ve done this too many times before, it was practically like muscle memory. Stitching yourself up, wiping the blood that seeped into your skin and now you’re doing the same for him. His hands find your waist, squeezing gently while you stand between his legs and Toji forgets about the pain for a moment. His glossy eyes look up at you and he realizes what he has. A wife, a son, a family who cares about him, loves him. You’re always so gently yet so affirmative and he’s reminded why he fell in love with you. You make up every part of him that was missing.

“I’m sorry.” His voice and raspy and delicate. “I know I scared you when I walked through the door like this.” He gently grabs your wrist, pulling your hand from his face. “Look at me, baby.” And when your eyes meet his, he can tell just how worried you are, how much you’re hiding just to seem strong. “I’m sorry.”

Tears well up in your eyes and they’re falling before you could blink them away. “I’m so scared you won’t walk through the door one day, Toji. I wait by the window, watching and listening. Looking out for our baby boy. I don’t want that day to come when you’re not here because of this stupid fucking job,” you cry, looking away from him as you sob into your hands.

His heart breaks at your cries, pulling you down into his chest despite the pain he’s in because he couldn’t care less about that right now. He soothingly rubs your back, placing a kiss on your head. “We’ll leave tomorrow. Everything. Move somewhere else. Start a new life. I fucking promise you. I should’ve listened to you before and I’m so sorry.” His voice shakes with each word. “You don’t know how scared I was to walk in here thinking something might’ve happened to you and Megs. Just thinking about that…fuck…I can’t imagine.” He shakes his head. You cling onto him, holding him tightly. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too,” you sniffle. Lifting your head, you gently caress his cheek with the pad of your thumb, searching his eyes and you see is sadness and sincerity. “Tomorrow. Promise?”

“I promise, baby. Me, you, and the kid. We’ll all get outta here. Go somewhere nice. Maybe a beach, watch him play in the sand?” Toji chuckles. You nod, laughing. “There’s that smile,” he says.

“Daddy?” The little patters of Megumi’s feet make their way into the kitchen. “Are you still gonna tuck me in?” He pouts.

Toji looks at you and then at his son. You hop off of his lap and he stands up as if nothing is wrong, but still walking with a slight limp and his hand holding his side. “Come here, kid.” He scoops him up with arm like he weighed nothing. “How about you sleep with me and mommy tonight, huh?” He reaches to ruffle Megumi’s hair. You walk over to the both of them, your chest feeling warm, a smile adorning your face. Megumi leans his head on Toji’s shoulder, quickly shutting his eyes. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

[tootiecakes234]

“Hey Katsuki”, you scream from the your bedroom.

“What” he yells back at you from somewhere else in the house.

“Where ya at?”

“In the game room.”

So you get up and head that way. When you enter he’s sat in his gaming chair with his headset on.

“Hey bub…. Hey guys” you say loud enough to be heard through his headset.

“Yea yea. They all said hey.” You knew Kirishima and Kaminari were on the other end. Maybe even Mina too cuz she wasn’t texting you back.

“Kit-Kat, I’m getting hungry. Do you know what sounds really good for dinner?”

“What?” he questions without taking his eyes off the screen.

You walk behind him and slide your arms around his neck and nuzzle into the back of his head. You’re trying to butter him up because you know he’s not gonna wanna make what you’re craving.

“You remember those dumplings you made from scratch a while ago?” You ask with your voice dripping in as much sweetness you can muster.

“No.”

“No you don’t remember or no you’re-“

And he interrupt you before you can even finish. “No im not cooking that. There are frozen dumplings in the fridge.”

“But Sukiiiiii, those aren’t as good as the ones you make. The flavors aren’t the same and yours are so crispy and doughy. Pleaaasseee.”

“Hey you assholes shut the hell up. No ones talking to you.” He responds to his friends in the headset. “You want her to have ‘em, bring your ass over and make ‘em”

“I’m not doing this. You idiots hold on.” And he pauses the game and turns around to face you and removes his head set.

“Look we can order takeout if you want, but I’m not about to make freakin dumplings from scratch cuz you have a craving. I’d have to go to the store and get ingredients and taking the time to make the wrappings. ‘S too much.” He tries to explain to you in a rational way .

“I knooowww…. I’d go to the store with you though and I’ll help you make them…. Pretty please” you whine and stick you lowere lip out just a little with your eyes as pleading as you can make them.

Katsuki rolls his eyes and throws his head back.

“You don’t get whatever you want just because you pout at me. Spoiled ass. Not today. Maybe sometime later this week.”

You didn’t actually think he’d tell you no. He usually never does. Maybe you are spoiled. Still makes you sad though.

So you put on your big girl pants, tuck your lip back in and give him a soft “ok” before you lean down and press a soft kiss to his lips so he knows you’re not upset with him.

He is allowed to say no.

“Is Mina on the game with you guys?” You ask him when you pull back.

“Yeah she is.”

“When you get back on can you tell her to stop being a bitch and answer my phone call. I have tea to spill.”

“I’ll tell her.”

And with that you head toward the door and leave.

Once you’re back in your room it takes Mina about 3 minutes to call you and you start catching her up on everything.

You guys stay on the phone for about 30 minutes before she has to go.

After that, you bury yourself in the blankets and start reading the manga you had lying on your nightstand.

Before you can really get into it, Katsuki is walking into your room and going into the closet.

“Get your ass outta bed and get dressed before I change my goddamn mind.”

“What?” You ask because now you’re confused.

“You said you were gonna go to the store with me to buy all this shit so get your ass up and let’s go.”

“Kats you don’t have to, it’s fine.”

“Look ya spoiled brat, if I gotta tell you to get up one more time we are gonna be in here fightin.”

And the smile that breaks out on your face. You hurry and get outta bed and rush him. “Awwwww my sweet boy”

“I swear to god, I’m this close to letting your ass starve.”

And you wrap your arms around him and start kissing everywhere on his face. When you pulled away he has a deep frown on his face but you can see the sparkle in his eyes that he gets when you’re super happy.

You pull away and scurry off to get dressed.

He really needs to start saying no to you and meaning it before you really lose the understanding of the word.

Katsuki Masterlist

Tags: @dreamcastgirl99

*if you want to be added to the tag list, let me know💕

[deerspherestudios]

🔍 QNA MASTERLIST (PT.4)🔎

This masterlist covers general lore and an AU featuring MindReader!Mychael.

📍 For part 1, it's [HERE] for abilities, romantic/yandere traits and his opinion on kids. 📍 For part 2, it's [HERE] for anatomy. 📍 For part 3, it's [HERE] for reactions to different MCs.

Random Mychael lore❕

He has a different name in his own language, but goes by Mychael.

He also chose Mychael as a name himself.

He doesn't have a last name.

When did he start knitting and why?

Where did the nickname 'firefly' come from?

What music would he like?

His favorite smells are old books, honey and gasoline.

He's super ticklish.

How did he carry MC to his home?

His favorite thing to knit are beanies.

He'd love bringing you outdoors.

He's a quiet sleeper.

He sleeps in a fetal position.

He sleeps with both sets of eyes closed.

He'd love cheek kisses.

(Minor) loredump!

His knowledge on marriage.

He's overworked himself when fixing up the cabin.

Would he like stargazing?

You're not the first human he's found unconscious.

He'd be okay wearing a dress.

What's his wardrobe like?

He has a fear/phobia of snowstorms, thunder/lightning, trains/train whistles and water wells.

We can't get sick from him.

Does he have a religion/beliefs?

He would love the Shrek series.

The chickens' name origins (they're all flowers).

He's never considered humans as 'food'.

How did Mychael get his hens?

His favorite candies would be marshmallows and cotton candy.

If he had internet, he'd mostly look up arts-and-crafts and recipes. He'd also love DIY candy kits. He would enjoy nonverbal ASMR.

He prefers being warm.

He kinda celebrates New Years' and loves fireworks.

He doesn't need skincare but would enjoy face masks.

His first experience with bees.

He's never played UNO (but would love board and card games).

How does Mychael view the animals/people he meets in the forest?

More Mychael lore❕

He can't handle spicy food as it makes him physically ill.

He's ambidextrous.

His MBTI is INFJ-T.

His favorite desserts are pumpkin pie and cranberry muffins.

His favorite books are self-help skill books and picture books.

His favorite color is yellow. His favorite animal is a jellyfish.

He used to wear cloaks when it was socially acceptable to.

He doesn't believe in ghosts.

How did he learn to speak and pronounce words?

He would love origami.

He'd love to have a cow but think it'd be high maintenance.

He prefers tea over coffee.

His first time seeing the ocean.

He would enjoy K-pop, phonk and electropop music the most.

About MR!Mychael ❕

MR!Mychael origins and discussion.

MR!Mychael with MC with nice thoughts about him.

MR!Mychael wouldn't rescue MC in Day 1.

MR!Mychael analysis and the type of MC he'd fall for.

How MR!Mychael's power works.

How MC would meet MR!Mychael.

MR!Mychael would react the same regardless of MC's psyche.

MR!Mychael with an overthinking MC.

MR!Mychael can't see dreams.

MR!Mychael with an MC with an earworm.

[hotshotsxyz]

doctor, doctor, give me the news

(buddie) (1.4k words) (8x05 spec) y'all i think i kind of went off with this one

Tommy flinches. It’s a quick, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it thing that he quickly turns into a playful cringe, but for a second, it was real. It was real and Buck saw it and he doesn’t know how to unsee it.

He pulls his phone out and opens the camera so he can see it for himself, and okay, yeah, it’s not great. But also—they’re both firefighters. Buck’s seen way worse than swollen, red skin, and he’s sure Tommy has too.

“Afraid of the curse now?” he asks lightly instead of voicing the thought.

“Um, yeah, I think you’ve convinced me,” Tommy replies.

Buck squints at his own image. “What do you think it is?”

“Other than a curse?” Tommy asks.

Buck nods.

“Honestly, Evan, I have no idea. Maybe we should call in some back-up.”

“What?” Buck asks, brow furrowing. “Like some kind of curse breaker?”

Tommy snorts. “Like someone with a little more medical training,” he replies.

“Oh, yeah that—that’s probably a good idea,” Buck says. He feels himself flush even redder.

“You want me to call Hen? Or Chimney, maybe?” Tommy asks.

Buck shakes his head. “They’re taking the kids to a haunted hayride today. I’ll text Eddie.”

Tommy’s nose wrinkles a little, and Buck can’t help but wonder which part of what he just said Tommy didn’t like. He types out a quick message.

SOS. curse real. need paramedic diaz asap

Eddie’s reply is almost instantaneous and comes in three short messages.

not a paramedic

and curses aren’t real

I’m on my way

Buck looks up from his phone. “He’ll be here soon,” he says.

“That was fast,” Tommy observes.

Buck shrugs. For a second he considers sending Eddie a selfie, something to prepare him for the not-so-pleasant sight of his face, but he—

He kind of wants to see if Eddie flinches, too.

Eddie’s key turns in the lock and Tommy shoots Buck an odd look. He’d try to parse it, but he’s really starting to feel how much his face hurts and he kind of just wants Eddie to hurry up and fix it. He stands and walks past the stairs in time to see him shut the door.

“Ouch,” Eddie hisses as soon as he catches sight of whatever it is his face is doing now. It’s not a flinch. If anything, he sways forward like he might at a scene. Assessing. Ready to jump in as soon as he’s formed a plan.

“Yeah,” Buck says. “Told you I’m cursed.”

Eddie lets out a light laugh. “Mm, I think I’m supposed to be the one making the diagnosis here,” he says.

He ushers Buck to the kitchen table, sets his med kit down, and pulls out a chair for him.

“Gee,” Buck says, “A guy could get used to this kind of medical care.”

Eddie grins. “Doctor Diaz, at your service,” he says, holding out a hand for Buck to shake.

Buck huffs a soft laugh and takes it. “I’ll be a good patient, I promise,” he says.

“Don’t start lying to me now,” Eddie replies, eyes twinkling.

Across the table, Tommy chokes.

Buck drops Eddie’s hand and looks over at him. “You okay?” he asks.

“Mm,” Tommy hums. “Just uh—got some spit down the wrong pipe.”

Buck frowns but doesn’t push it any further. He looks back at Eddie and finds him rummaging through his kit with a pen light between his teeth. He makes a triumphant noise and turns to Buck.

“Alright, let’s see,” Eddie says softly.

He steps into the space between Buck’s legs, and Buck’s brain kind of just—freezes.

“Look up for me?” Eddie prompts, and when Buck doesn’t—can’t—immediately comply, Eddie presses two fingers beneath his chin and guides it up until suddenly the only thing Buck can see are Eddie’s eyes. “Thought you we’re going to be a good patient,” Eddie murmurs.

All at once, Buck’s brain unfreezes, skipping right past calm and into hyperdrive. Because—because—he’s looking at Eddie and Eddie’s thumb is skating across the skin that’s just beneath the worst of the swelling  and Buck can feel it and surely Eddie’s touched his face before except—except—no, Buck’s pretty sure he hasn’t but now that he has Buck’s never going to be able to forget the way it feels because he knows it should hurt, it should, but it doesn’t and he kind of never wants Eddie to stop touching him and that’s—that’s—

“—hurt?” Eddie asks, only Buck misses 90% of the question so instead of answering he hums vaguely and watches Eddie’s face twist in sympathy.

Eddie starts dabbing something on Buck’s face, hydrocortisone maybe, or triple anti-biotic—whatever it is it feels cool and nice and as Eddie concentrates on his task he bites down on his lip and suddenly Buck can’t look at anything else, can’t look at the furrow in Eddie’s brow can’t look at the ceiling can’t—

“You think he’ll live?” Tommy asks dryly.

Buck feels like he’s been doused with cold water.

Eddie’s lips, those lips that he still can’t bring himself to look away from, twitch into a small smile. “Depends,” he says. “Has anyone figured out how to break the curse?”

It punches a laugh out of Buck’s chest, the kind that comes out in a single syllable and with a rush of air. Eddie takes a step back and finally Buck feels like his brain is returning from the stratosphere, back to its baseline level of chaos.

“So—” Buck tries, but it comes out rough. He clears his throat. “What’s uh—what’s the diagnosis.”

Eddie frowns. “Honestly? It kind of looks like spider bites.”

Tommy’s chair clatters back, and when Buck looks over he’s suddenly standing.

“Babe?” Buck asks, but it feels gummy and unfamiliar in his mouth.

“I, um—not a fan of spiders,” he squeaks.

Eddie blows out a soft breath that Buck’s pretty sure only he could recognize as laughter.

“You don’t have to stick around,” Buck says, and he swears he means stick around the loft, but—but—“I’m okay, I’ve got the second best doctor in Los Angeles looking after me.”

“Second!” Eddie exclaims, mock affronted.

“Hen,” Buck replies with a shrug.

Eddie heaves a dramatic sigh. “You’re not wrong.”

Tommy looks between them, a deep furrow in his brow. “Yeah,” he says. “I’ll uh—I’ll head out.” He backs toward the door, then pauses as he gets a hand on the knob. “See you tomorrow?” he directs at Buck.

“’Course,” Buck replies, and he’s pretty sure if Tommy had asked him that this morning his reply would’ve sounded soft and sweet to his own ear, but now Buck doesn’t hear much of anything at all.

Tommy nods once, and then he’s gone.

Buck looks back at Eddie, and god, he tries. He tries so hard not to notice the long line of Eddie’s legs where he’s leaning against the table, not quite sitting on it. He tries not to think about that soft curl, the one that makes an appearance more often than not these days, the one that rests against his forehead. He wants—he doesn’t—Eddie’s not—

Buck stands abruptly, except Eddie never did take more than a step back and now they’re practically nose to nose and Buck isn’t sure if he’s still breathing. Eddie’s head tips to the side and Buck—there’s not a thing he can do to stop the freight train that is his imagination, and oh, he can see it. He can feel it.

All at once he’s sure that if Eddie Diaz were to lean in and kiss him—right now, or a year from now, or a decade—if Eddie kissed him, Buck would be ruined in every sense of the word. He’d never be able to kiss another person without seeing Eddie, feeling Eddie, tasting Eddie and—

He wouldn’t want to.

Buck takes a stumbling step back and knocks into his chair, making it clatter the same way Tommy’s had. And fuck, for a second he didn’t even—

“Buck?” Eddie asks, all concern and kindness and wide brown eyes.

“Fine!” Buck says. “I’m fine. You—you, uh—do you want—” Me? Us? Something terrifying and perfect and permanent and “—water?”

Eddie’s brows knit together. “Sure,” he says. “But sit back down. Let me get it.”

“Okay,” Buck breathes. He sinks into his chair.

Eddie grabs two glasses out of his cabinet without even pausing to think and fills them with the Brita he already knew was in Buck’s fridge and snags a coaster that he bought before placing one of the glasses in front of Buck.

“Seriously,” he says, settling into the chair closest to him and leaning forward, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Buck says, and he’s honest to god not even sure if he’s lying.

[skbeaumont]

Just a Graze | Joel x Reader oneshot

One-shot Joel/Reader. Previously posted in two parts but thought I'd make a masterpost for this one.

Summary: Joel comes back injured, and while you patch him up the tension that's been building for several months threatens to break.

Tags/warnings: dirty talk, explicit content, language, injury detail (not explicit), MDNI, sexual tension, PIV, oral (F receiving), FILTH

Word Count: 4.3k

Joel’s bleeding when he gets back. The screen door clatters shut behind him, wire shuddering against the wood, and you look up from the table. His face is set, a solid frown painted across his features – nothing unusual – but there’s a downward turn to his mouth that you recognise as a pained expression. He steps in and leans against the counter, one hand on the warped wood, the other pressed against his shoulder. Blood seeps through his fingers, clotting around his knuckles, staining his jacket red.

“I’m okay,” he says as you spring up from your place at the dusty kitchen table, “it’s just a graze.”

“Bullet?” You ask, ignoring his attempts to wave off your concern.

“Barbed wire,” he says, letting you lead him further into the cabin, toward the misshapen couch, “stupid mistake, I didn’t see it.”

The shotgun clatters onto the floor at his feet as he collapses onto the couch with a groan. He doesn’t protest as you pull his fist away from the wound, your hand warm against his wind-chilled fingers. The cut isn’t deep, but the wire has torn through his jacket and shirt down to the flesh of his shoulder, leaving a jagged cut that’s oozing blood.

“You must be getting old,” you say, standing to search through your pack for the first aid kit, “your eyes are going as well as your ears.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with my eyes. Or my ears.”

“Sorry?”

“I said, there-” he notices your grin, the glint of mischief in your eye. He sighs heavily. “You’re a damn pain in my ass.”

You huff out a laugh and pull a kitchen chair across to sit opposite him. You open the first aid kit – which is really no more than a small washbag stuffed with a bottle of Lysol and a handful of bandages – on your lap, pull out the disinfectant and start unscrewing the cap. “Can you take your jacket off?” You ask, and he nods, starts unzipping it and pulling it off of his uninjured arm. He winces a little as he peels it past his bad shoulder, shakes it down his arm and lays it over his lap, frowning at the gash in the fabric.

“I can patch that up when we get back to Jackson.” You say.

“Ain’t going back ‘til we’ve something to bring back.” He replies, and now it’s your turn to sigh.

“We’ve got two deer and a whole family of rabbits, Joel. There’s nothing else out here for us to get.”

“We both saw that clinic complex, and I ain’t arguing with you about this again. Winter’s well on its way, and we need as much medicine as we can get to make it through. I almost got in today – would have, if I hadn’t got caught on that damned barbed wire. We’ll both go back tomorrow.”

He fixes you with a hard stare, one that makes the hairs stand up on the back of your neck, though whether it’s through fear or something else, you’re not sure. You’ve been partnering up for a couple of months now, going out on hunts and supply runs, growing slowly closer over long hikes and cold nights camping out under the stars.

At first, he intimidated you. He was cold, harsh; a solid bulk of a man who never smiled and rarely spoke, except to tell you to keep your voice down or stop walking so loudly. But then, gradually, he’d started loosening up around you. A few weeks ago he’d cracked a smile at a joke you’d made – something stupid about a bird in a tree, the kind of joke your dad used to make when you were a kid – and then that smile had grown into a deep chuckle a couple of days later, and then a conversation, whispered and illusive, under a starry sky last week.

This latest trip outside Jackson had been the most enjoyable yet, conversation flowing easily between you, and you were starting to suspect that the strange swooping feeling in your stomach that arose each time he looked at you, or bumped against you as you walked had a lot less to do with how intimidating he could be, and a lot more to do with him.

Now, locking eyes with him over the opened bottle of Lysol, his eyes dark and with an argument boiling up between you, that feeling blossoms into something hot and delicious, stirring a fire in your belly that makes you bold.

“From where I’m sat,” you say, tipping the bottle of Lysol so that the disinfection pours out onto a clean swab, “you don’t seem to have much choice about what we’re doing next. You’re hurt, and I need to patch you up, so stop arguing and take your shirt off.”

He opens his mouth to argue but shuts it again, eyes flicking up to your face. A hint of red creeps up his neck, settling high on his cheeks, tinging them scarlet in the low light of the cabin. You keep glaring at him. He lets out a long breath through his nose and moves to unbutton his shirt. The shirt is old, vintage, even – probably older than you – with mismatched buttons and a crumpled, frayed look. It comes apart easily, Joel’s fingers working down the buttons nimbly until he reaches the bottom. He pauses there, looks up at your face. You look away, because heat is creeping up your own neck now, hot and unbridled, as he pushes the shirt off of his shoulders and lets it fall open onto the couch behind him.

After his dark eyes, the most notable thing about Joel is his stature. He’s tall, and broad enough to fill any room he’s in. You’ve seen him lift grown men like they weigh nothing, watched him pick up a dead deer and throw it over one shoulder without so much as a stumble. Last month you went out on horseback to scope a potential hunting ground, and, sitting behind him in the saddle, you couldn’t see anything past the triangular bulk of his shoulders, your hands clasped easily around his waist. So, yeah, you know he’s strong, could tell anyone that the man is built. But when you look at him in the half-light with his shirt off, uncovered by layers of leather or plaid, the sight still sends blood rushing to your face.

His shoulders are broad, curving into thick biceps that tense as he raises a hand to scratch, self-consciously, at the back of his neck. There are small scars littering his chest, running down in narrow white slices to his belly, which is softer than the rest of him, sloping and scattered with coarse hair that continues below the buckle of his belt. You want to press your face into it, kiss the contours of his bellybutton and the plains of his chest, up to the juncture of his throat, which bobs as he swallows, eyes shifting to catch yours.

“You gonna patch me up or just stare?” He asks, and there’s something teasing in his voice, something that causes heat and slick to pool in between your thighs. “I- you’ve got a lot of scars.” You say, stupidly, tipping more Lysol onto the cloth you’re holding.

“Had a lot of run-ins with barbed wire.” He replies, the words turning to a hiss when you press the wet cloth to the cut on his shoulder.

“Should be more careful.”

“Now where would the fun be in that, darlin’?”

Oh, that’s new. You’ve heard him call Ellie pet names before, laughed when she rolls her eyes and shirks away from his affections, all fifteen years old and too cool to be coddled. But he’s never called you anything but your name – never so much as shortened it to a nickname like almost everyone else does. You flick your gaze from his wound to his face. His eyes are dark, expression unreadable, but the intensity of his gaze makes you look away, cheeks reddening. You pull the cloth away from his arm and start wrapping a clean bandage around his shoulder.

“Sorry,” he says, after a pause. “I forget, sometimes. Recently.”

“Forget what?”

“That you’re young enough to be my-” He cuts himself off here, “that you’re a hell of a lot younger’n I am.”

This makes you laugh out loud, a huff of breath exhaled. You’re still opposite each other, him on the sofa, knees spread wide, you in the kitchen chair. If you inched forward only slightly your own legs would be between his.

“Old days I’d have been old enough to drink and drive, and more than old enough to flirt, Joel.”

“That what you want? You want me to flirt with you?” His voice is low, almost a whisper.

You shrug and hold his gaze. “I think it’s what you want too. I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I can’t see you.”

You have. He thinks he’s being discrete, but you’ve seen how his eyes linger on your legs, how he can’t help but drop his gaze to your chest when you wear something low cut. A few weeks ago you’d seen him adjust himself in his jeans when you stripped down to your underwear to bathe in a stream you’d come across after two days out searching for supplies.

“And how’s that?” He asks. You have to hold yourself back from leaning forward and kissing the worried crease of his mouth.

“Like you’re a man dying of thirst and I’m an oasis.”

He scoffs at that. “Shoulda been a writer, sweetheart.”

“And how does this story end?”

“Ends with you walking away from me like you should’ve months ago. This,” he flicks a finger at himself and then you, “ain’t happening.”

“Why not? You want it, I want it. I don’t see what the problem is.”

“Problem is,” he slides his arms off the sofa, reaching back to pull his shirt back up over his shoulders, “you think you know what you want, but you don’t.” He starts buttoning the shirt, fixing you with a stern look. “Trust me.”

He tries to stand but you put your hands on his knees, holding him in place.

“No way,” You say, your heart thumping in your chest, “you don’t get to decide what I do or don’t want.”

“What do you want? You want me to fuck you? Want me to spread your pretty little legs out across this couch and make you come on my tongue?”

Yes. God, yes.

“What if I do? What if that’s exactly what I want you to do?” You slide your hands further up his legs, holding him down on the couch. If he wanted to, he could push you off easily, but he doesn’t. When your fingertips reach the tops of his thighs he slides his hands over your wrists and pins them where they are, stopping you moving any higher.

“Find someone your own age, sweetheart. Someone whose knees don’t creak when the stand up. Someone who can make you happy.” And then he’s standing up, moving your hands off of him with ease, stepping around you in the kitchen chair to stride to the other side of the room, the tension collapsing in on itself as he tells you to get some sleep, that there’s more work to do tomorrow.

*****

The next morning brings rain. It hammers against the walls of the cabin and drips in through the leaky roof. Joel stands at the window, one hand on his hip, silently looking out at the downpour.

“Tell me you’re not considering going out in this?” You say, moving up behind him to peer out at the lashing rain.

“Might ease up later.” He says, turning to face you. “There’s enough to do in here to keep us occupied, anyway.”

“Guns?” You ask.

“Guns.” He agrees.

Joel’s fanatical about keeping the guns clean and working. It makes sense, you suppose. You don’t know much about his past, about how he and Ellie ended up in Jackson, but what you’ve heard, the snippets Ellie’s confided in you over quiet conversations, makes for grim listening. To Joel, those guns mean the difference between life and death.

And so you both sit at the kitchen table, meticulously cleaning Joel’s shotgun and your pistol, passing cloths and gun oil between you. You make casual conversation as you go, neither of you touching on the events of the previous evening. After he dismissed you last night you’d gone straight to bed, tucked yourself into the dusty single bed in the bedroom while Joel took the couch. Your dreams had been hazy and pleasant, and you’d woken up flushed.

You’re sliding the magazine back into your pistol when Joel jumps and swears, pulling his hand back from where he’s trapped his finger in the loading mechanism of the shotgun. A tiny bead of blood wells up and spills over his fingertip and he sighs heavily. You reach out and take his hand in yours to examine the cut. It's tiny - you've seen paper-cuts do more damage - but Joel's frowning like he's in pain.

“You’ve gotta stop being so clumsy.” You say.

“I’m not clumsy.” He replies, letting you turn his hand in yours, watching you watch his thick fingers, take in the breadth of his knuckles.

“No?”

“No. It’s-”

You're not sure what makes you do it - maybe it's frustration still boiling over from yesterday, maybe it's the way Joel looks at you as you clasp his large hand in your own smaller one -  but before he can finish speaking you pull his arm across the table and wrap your lips around his finger. You snake your tongue over the pad of the digit and the noise he makes then - a breathy, broken groan - sends fire surging through you, heat coiling between your thighs.

“Distraction.” He finishes.

When you pull your mouth away and place a wet kiss to the palm of his hand, he slides his fingers across your jaw and up into the mess of your hair. His hand is hot against your scalp, curving around the back of your neck, leading you forward so that he can fit his mouth against yours across the table.

Pleasure flutters out from the pull of his fingers in your hair, and his lips are soft and dry until he opens his mouth to you, guiding your tongue into his mouth, pressing his into yours. It’s slow at first. Tentative, as though he’s waiting for you to push him away. But you’ve never wanted anything more, and when you moan against his lips he stands, bracketing your face with both hands to pull you up from your own chair.

It’s a messy walk backwards from the table. You bump against the broken coffee table, pull away from his mouth to curse and rub your shin, but then he’s falling back onto the couch, pulling you down into his lap so that your thighs are bracketing his legs.

You pause like that, looking at each other, both breathless and dazed, lips bruised.

“This what you want?” He asks again, placing his hand at your jaw gently. His fingers are thick, hand so large that his thumb rests at your temple and while his index finger sits under your chin.

“I want you, Joel. Please.”

When he kisses you again, it’s hungry and animalistic. All pretence of hesitation is gone. He presses his mouth to your throat, lets his teeth scrape the delicate skin below your ear.

“This is still a bad idea.” He says, voice breaking when you roll your hips against his. ”Shit.”

“Please, Joel.” Your voice sounds tiny, shrill to your own ears, desperate and pathetic, but Joel bites at the juncture of your neck and it doesn’t matter, nothing matters except the feel of his hands on your hips, guiding you against him, pulling your clothed cunt against where he’s impossibly hard in his jeans.

“I’m gonna take this off.” He says, pulling at your shirt, tugging it up over your head. “And this.” He runs a hand over your covered tit, pinches your nipple beneath the thin fabric of your bra, rolls it between his finger and thumb while his other hand slides up your back and unclasps it. It falls between you, forgotten immediately.

“Fuck, darlin’, look at you.” He says, running the knuckle of his index finger over the swell of your chest, down along your ribs and across one hip. He lets his hand fall away, brings it back up to the side of your face, pulls your lips back to his and drags your bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth.

Pain and pleasure blossom through you, make you scrabble at the buttons of his shirt, fingers shaking as you try and get them undone. He helps, slides the shirt off of his back, careful where his shoulder is still sore. He balls it up and casts it across the room, then grips your hips and lifts you, turning you onto your back on the sofa, pressing himself between your open thighs. The change in angle presses the seam of your jeans against your clit, a jolt of pleasure rocking through you.

“You ever done this before?” He asks, hovering over you, dipping down to press a chaste kiss against your collarbone.

“I ain’t that innocent, Joel.” You reply, gasping when he pulls your nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his teeth. “Have you?”

This earns you a deep chuckle, a hushed whisper against the back of your neck, “I’ve been doing this since before you were born, baby.”

And, fuck, that shouldn’t turn you on so much but it does. It has your hips lifting up, seeking out friction. Joel notices and slides down your body, dropping onto his knees on the floor. He runs one hand up the inside of your thigh, presses his thumb expertly against your covered clit.

“I’m gonna take these off now, and then you’re gonna come on my tongue. That sound okay?”

You nod, voice lost as he undoes the button on your jeans and pulls them down in one motion, pushing them away in the direction of his discarded shirt.

“Look how wet you are for me already.” He glides two fingers over the front of your soaked underwear, up to the waistband to hook them off.

And then he leans forward, presses light kisses up your thighs until he reaches your cunt. He pauses, blows a cool strip of air against you that has you trying to close your legs, but his hands are there, pinning them open for him. When he seals his lips over your clit and drags his tongue over it you thread your fingers through his hair, pull at the black-grey strands. You squeeze your eyes shut but he pulls away, chastises you gently.

“Eyes on me, sweetheart.” His voice is like molten chocolate, rich and dark, pulling you back so that you gaze down at him.

He swipes his tongue over your slit, gathers the slick that’s pooling there. He’s like a man possessed, eyes dark, hair standing up on end from where you’ve run your hands through it, cursing and moaning as he slides his tongue over your clit, starting up a firm and consistent rhythm that has you bucking against him. His hands are gripping your thighs hard enough to leave bruises, his forearms corded with muscle, biceps flexing up to those impossibly broad shoulders.

“You gonna come on my tongue?” He asks, hardly breaking away from you to grunt out the question.

“Yes, Joel, fuck, please.” You can’t seem to form a coherent sentence, can hardly force yourself to keep your eyes on him where he kneels between your thighs like you’re an altar and he’s a lonely priest begging for repentance. It’s this thought – the idea of him worshipping you, tongue lapping over your clit, his eyes blazing with lust – that tips you over the edge. Your cunt clenches around nothing, body wracked with pleasure as you come, hard, on his tongue. He grins into your cunt as he feels you come apart against him, continues pressing sloppy, wet kisses to your pussy as you come down from the high, limbs shaking. When you finally push him away, overly sensitive and buzzing with pleasure, he rocks back on his heels, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Your pleasure is painted across his face, his greying stubble wet with your slick.

He crawls back up onto the couch between your thighs, dips his head to kiss you. You taste yourself on his lip; on his tongue when he sweeps it against the back of your teeth, heady and sweet. He presses himself against you, drags the front of his jeans over your bare skin. The buckle of his belt catches against your bare stomach and you hiss into his mouth, reach down to unbuckle it. It comes off easily, falls to the floor with a dull thud, and then you slip your fingers through the buttons of his jeans, undo them quickly, desperate to get them off. He stands briefly, pushes them the rest of the way down his thick thighs and then kneels back between your legs. Immediately you slide your hand into the waistband of his briefs. He feels like velvet wrapped around steel, hot and delicious in your fist. He groans into your mouth as you palm him desperately, sliding delicate skin over the head of him, feathering the pad of your thumb against his slit. When you draw his cock out you break away from his needy mouth to look. He’s big: thick, curving slightly to the left, head already weeping precum.

“Fist feels so good wrapped around my cock, sweetheart.” He tells you, “You gonna let me fuck you?”

It’s the easiest yes you’ve ever given. He chuckles darkly at your needy reply, pushes his briefs the rest of the way off and wraps his own fist around his cock. He slides himself over your cunt, coating himself in your juices. Then he’s notching the blunt head of his cock against your entrance, sucking in a breath as he pushes in gently, slowly, stretching you out deliciously.

“Good girl,” He murmurs, easing himself deeper, feeling you flex and clench around him, “good fucking girl.”

He stills when he’s fully seated inside you, sucks at a spot under your jaw that makes you gasp with pleasure, runs one big palm up your body to paw at your breast, trying to collect himself, twitching inside you with the effort of staying still.

“Cunt’s so goddamn tight, baby.” His voice is broken, pitchy and breathy against your ear.

You run your hands over his back, feeling out the breadth of his shoulders, the thin scars that lace across them, his muscles bunching and flexing beneath your fingers when he finally – finally – starts to move inside you, rocking his hips into yours, dragging himself all the way out and then gliding back in. The head of his cock hits something inside you that sends white hot pleasure jolting through your belly. The cabin is silent now – the rain has stopped – the only sounds are your frantic breathing and low, breathy moans, and Joel’s whispered praises as he rocks against you.

Good girl, so fucking good for me, letting me fuck you like this, cunt so tight around me, could come just thinking about it.

It’s dirty and sloppy and fucking incredible. The power you’ve seen him exert on infected and drunkards and raiders suddenly coiled over you, his muscles pulling you taunt against him when he changes the angle, sits up, pulls you with him so that you’re riding him, his cock somehow buried deeper in your cunt, your thighs bracketing him. You can feel yourself growing closer to release again, pleasure notching up in your belly like fire spreading. Joel shifts slightly again, makes space for his hand to come between you, places his thumb against your clit and presses, draws out slow, gentle circles that match the pace of his thrusts.

“Need my thumb on you clit while my cock’s buried inside you, sweetheart? Gonna come again just like this, huh? Dirty fucking girl.”

His words are like fuel on the fire and within seconds you’re moaning and shaking, cunt clenching around him as you come, harder than before, on his cock. Joel fucks you through it, keeps the steady pressure on your clit.

“Gonna make me come in this tight little pussy,” He says, and you know you shouldn’t, know you should make him pull out, but he feels so good inside you that you grind down on him telling him yes, please, fist your hands into his hair to pull his mouth against yours. The kiss is desperate and messy, all teeth and tongue. He hisses into your mouth as you buck your hips and drive them down on him, and then he’s swearing, fingers digging hard into your hips.

"Jesus, you feel so fucking good, baby, I’m gonna come. I’m gonna- shit.” He pulses inside you, painting your cunt with his come, hot and wet inside you.

You continue rocking against each other, slowly, coming down from the high. When he slides out of you and shifts away the old sofa groans out in protest, springs creaking. It makes you laugh, breathless, racking laughter than drives away the sudden realisation of what you’ve just done, of how you’ve indelibly changed the way you look at each other, the relationship between you.

“That was… fucking hell, Joel, that was incredible.”

He’s looking at you sideways, his hair still a mess, stubble still coated with your slick. He’s naked and vulnerable and you think it might just be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. When he leans across to slot his lips against yours you grin against him, trying not to think about what happens next.

[celesteleoves]

Request for Izuku coming to the readers dorm because he needed them to patch him up because training was tough and he decided to not go to recovery girl for some reason(basically just a patching up fic w izuku😭)

“NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN, I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER.”

ೃ࿐ izuku midoriya x reader.

summary: what the ask says :)

disclaimers: established realtionship, izuku is silly…. mentions of bones being broken/other injuries, that’s all i believe! reader is kinda suggested to be female…

a/n: AWWW this might be my favourite ask yet! thank u 🤍 i hope i wrote this exactly to your liking.

—-

izuku hated relying on others. he never liked being a bother, even to those who insist he can always go to them if he ever needs anything). it’s one of his flaws, he thinks.

carrying the weight of one for all on his shoulders constantly was a reminder just how much he needed to learn how to be more independent. the broken bones, harsh sparring with his classmates, recovery girl visits. he really needs to learn how to patch himself up…

currently, he sat in his own dorm. groaning to himself as he moved slightly, muscles incredibly sore. the boy slowly lifted his shirt up, revealing the bruises and small cuts he received after training for hours. as he lifted his hands up to brush his hair back, he got an idea. a very smart one!

“she wouldn’t be too mad, right?” izuku mumbled to himself as he sluggishly stood up, making his way to your dorm.

the walk was long and treacherous (it’s a minute walk). as izuku finally stood in front of your dorm, he thought about your reaction. you are a very caring person. you’ll definitely be easygoing about this!

-

“are you kidding me izuku?!” your jaw dropped at the sight of your disheveled boyfriend who only smiled sheepishly. you immediately turned into scolding y/n mode, rambling on and on about how he should take it easy.

“i knew you’d be a bit mad… i’m sorry.”

your boyfriends words made you falter in your speech as you took in the weight of the situation. he had simply gone too far in training.

instead of going to someone else, he came to you? the thought made you frown in a caring matter. you looked at him closely. his eyes glistened, looking like he’s more hurt about your reaction instead from his own wounds. his white shirt had splotches of grass and dirt on it. you couldn’t help but feel responsible for your lover in this moment. you knew he only worked hard to be stronger for you and himself.

“come in, no- don’t lay on that. your shirt is covered with dirt. take it off!” you spoke to him in a exaggerated tone.

izuku froze in his movements, thinking about what you just said to him. he’s not in middle school anymore, why is he getting flustered right now?! izuku curses teenage hormones for existing.

rather too quickly for his liking: izuku’s face flushed and he nervously toyed with his shirt, “take it off?!”

“yes. babe.” you looked at him with a puzzled expression, holding a small first aid kit in your hand (you made it for izuku at the very start of the school year after learning that he often injures himself). “i need to see where your hurt.”

“oh… right!”

it took him a minute to compose himself, his shyness taking over as he carefully took off his shirt. the act made you almost want to laugh as you’ve seen him without a shirt on multiple occasions.

your giggly mood was completely knocked away when you took in the sight of a rather red slash on his lower abdomen.

you moved towards your boyfriend who sat against your bed frame, legs spread as if anticipating you to settle yourself in between them. that’s exactly what you did.

“whoa, what the hell happened here?”

“landed on a piece of rock while jumping… scratched myself. i already did hydrotherapy like you said, i didn’t have the materials to do anything else though.”

you hummed at his words, picking up a antibiotic and placing it on izukus wound with your right hand. he hissed at the sting and you rubbed his side with your left hand in an attempt to comfort him. it worked. izuku relaxed at the feeling of your touch on his skin.

the room was quiet, lights slightly dim, as you worked. placing gauze and then bandage around his abdomen, wrapping it twice for good measure.

you looked up, softly grabbing your boyfriends face and turning it left to right.

izuku stared at you with his bright green eyes and you blushed under his stare. you felt him toy with the bottom of your top, fiddling with the material.

“stop distracting me, i’m trying to check for cuts.”

“sorry! you’re just so pretty… and a really good doctor.”

you let a grin and cackle slip at his words. he laughed at your reaction, watching you carefully as you stood up. you moved towards your wardrobe and opened a drawer. izuku tilted his head in wonder, what were you doing?

you pulled out a shirt and a pair of pj pants. izuku intrigued at the items. those were both his, when had he put them in your drawer?

“oh, you left them after you slept here. i just figured i should give your stuff its own drawer.”

izuku hadn’t realized he spoke out loud and he only stared at you in silent shock. you were too good for him.

you tossed the clothes towards him as he rested against your pillows, staring at you in adoration.

“what?” you plopped down beside him, nudging his bicep as he looked down at you.

“you’re too good for me. thank you.”

you lit up at his loving words. if there was one thing izuku was perfect at, it was making you feel loved unconditionally no matter what.

“oh stop, you’re too good for me.”

“we could argue about this for hours, just accept it.”

“um no! everyone knows you’re too good for me.”

“i’ll start rambling about you if you don’t stop.”

“… and who says i wouldn’t like that?”

izuku paused, a grin slowly creeping up on his face at your serious expression.

you cracked, turning into a laughing fit and he laughed with you, holding you in his arms. the pain that he felt in his muscles not too long ago had seemingly faded away as soon as he held you in his embrace. your warmth and love felt as though it healed him.

izuku hated relying on others. but, he knows no matter what — you’ll always make sure he knows he can rely on you for anything.

[lilacgaby]

˗ˏˋmy first, my last, my everything ୭ৎ ིྀ

pairing: exmafia!bakugo x reader

summary: katsuki left that life behind for you. but when the life you two built from scratch together was threatened, what else could he do but go back?

tags: fem!reader, wife!reader, mafia mentions, violence, angst to comfort, cursing, blood, pet names, no quirk au!, threats, guns, mention of death, clingy katsuki

status: complete.

wc:~2.5k

katsuki had been around blood for most of his life.

whether it was his own, or a bastard who he had to handle for his own, he'd grew comfortable to it. almost intolerant to it.

but seeing you, freaking out with a bullet in your shoulder, your blood spilled over the floors he'd taken you to pick out?

it was something he never prepared for.

glass was shattered, he ran to your side immediately. the hot flash of pain in your arm unbearable, even more so as he pressed down on it, his shirt now ripped as he had to keep the blood from pouring.

your wails echoed throughout the shop, the one you decorated and planned for months together.

he needed to call someone, anyone. you were bleeding and he needed the kit-- but it was too far.

he was failing you. you were crying and he was failing you.

he was shaking, "babe? fuck. stay awake." everything around him was mocking him. his phone being too far, everything was just out of his grasp. out of his control.

he couldn't get up and leave you, if he let up the pressure you could die in the minute it'd take for him to set up.

he always failed you in the end. this was all his fault.

until, kaminari and kirishima walked in, about to yell out and bug katsuki for some food like usual. "yo bro! what's--"

the sight in front of them was one they never expected to see. katsuki almost crushing your arm with pressure, your blood all over the place. the front of house ruined.

it was enough for them to jump into action. katsuki holding you still as kirishima worked to get the bullet out of your arm. kaminari throwing the medkit over from where katsuki had it stored in a shelf. it had barely missed an artery, you were a milimeter away from death.

honestly, they hadn't liked you for a while. before meeting you they only saw you as the woman who was taking one of their best friends away from them. from their own.

but they learned that you only wanted the best for him, so you'd all become close. they learned how katsuki made this choice because he wanted better life for the two of you.

how he was growing sick of the repeated bloodshed that never amounted to anything. how his heart ached at the sight of you crying over his wounds, his black eyes and knife cuts embedded in his skin.

how he vowed to himself that before he'd ever propose to you, that he'd tie up all loose ends with his group, before he knew he could fully dedicate himself to you.

and he did.

nobody couldve ever imagined that they'd be here, kaminari working to keep you calm, helping regulate your breaths. you were freaking out, and that wasn't good for the extreme amount of blood you were losing.

katsuki would be forever grateful for them. he didn't know what he'd do if they weren't here, if you had died in his arms.

your screams were haunting, but at least you were alive. they finally died down into groans of pain when the bullet was out and the fabric was tied tightly around your shoulder.

your shirt was bloodied, his hands were too. he picked you up and mindlessly followed the two into a car that they must of called when he wasn't listening.

back to his old life he went. his eyes were sharp and angry, his hand gripping yours tightly, his finger over your pulse.

he had frozen up. and that could've costed you your life.

your eyes were half-lidded, but open.

only the noise of the road was heard throughout the car. he was the only one in the back, holding you in his arms as he faced straight ahead. he didn't think he could handle looking at you right now.

"'suki?" you said, so quietly the thumping of the road almost completely blocked it out.

but he heard you, he always did. "don't waste your energy. we're almost there."

you nodded, squeezing tighter. your eyes stuck on his bloodied shirt.

you were immediately rushed to the medical wing, the old woman dubbed 'recovery girl' taking you into her care. "she'll be fine, young man. she was lucky. they missed." she scurried off behind the operation team, who had immediately taken her into surgery.

those words carried only a bit of comfort for him. he was guided back to the meeting room, the one he'd been in several times before. the one he took brutal beat downs just to get out of.

but he was back, and it was for you. the same reason why he left.

he stared back at his old blood. deku had taken over for all might a couple years back, so he stood at the head of the table waiting for the rest of them settled in.

he wore a soft face of sympathy. "go change." deku finally said, handing him a pair of spare clothes. "we'll wait for you. you look like.. crap."

"to say the least." katsuki muttered, before accepting the clothes and going to where he knew the old bathroom was.

he washed his hands of your blood, but he knew it'd never really leave. he had stained your life, put you in danger for something as fragile as love. you could've died today, for the only reason of you being connected to him.

he changed, emptying the tattered shirt and slacks into the garbage. he didn't want anything to do with them anymore.

after splashing his face with some water, he headed back to the room.

every old face was there waiting for him, some with understanding small smiles.

he sat next to kirishima, arms crossed as he looked to the head.

"kacchan." deku started. "you, you aren't seriously thinking of coming back, are you?"

all eyes were on him, his body tense. "of course i am. i'm going to find the dumbfuck who did this and bury them."

"but you're not one of us anymore." todoroki cut in. "you left, if you come back it's like you did all that for nothing."

"you can never truly leave though, if you think about it." iida replied before katsuki had a chance. "this is just proof of it. even though he worked so hard to get rid of the connections to us, she still ended up targeted."

"and by an ally no less."

"a what?" katsuki said, his hand slamming on the table. "repeat that shit to me scarface?"

"it's not confirmed yet--"

"don't lie midoriya, it's obvious from the bullet. even the color is mocking us." todoroki said, sliding a bag across the table, over to katsuki.

a bright purple bullet was in it. it was bigger than he remembered, a 12.7 mmx99. it took up almost the entirety of his hand. whoever shot this really had wanted to kill you.

but it couldn't be...

"..shinsou?"

"that's who it points to."

"but. it doesn't make sense. your wife was close friends with him, and we haven't had bad relations with '2 Block' for decades!" midoriya reasoned.

"that doesn't change the fact there was a bullet in her arm." katsuki grumbled, moving it around in his hand. he slammed it back down onto the table.

"wow bakugo, if you couldn't pick up on that, i don't think you should be working this operation." kaminari said, a hand behind his head.

"shinsou wouldn't have missed. she'd be dead the second he aimed for her. you should know that."

silence enveloped the room. kaminari was right, if he didn't pick up on that, he was rusty.

his eye twitched. "i fuckin' knew that dumbass."

"you have personal stake in this, we get it. but you'll end up dead if you keep thinking with your shit attitude." kaminari responded.

"he has a point kacchan. why don't you let us handle it, and you can--"

"no."

he silenced them all with that single word. a face of sincerity and vulnerability he barely wore present in that moment. "i have to do this. i can't sleep at night if i don't. you guys of all people should understand."

a collective silence came over the room. they didn't say anything, but they knew if this had happened to them they'd want back in too.

they knew midoriya had the final say though, so they wished for his opinion.

"fine. but youre not doing this alone. we'll all get in on this. you were one of our best before, im sure all might would agree."

everyone nodded in agreement, saying some variation of 'if you say so'.

kirishima patted katsuki on the back. "hey man, our duos back again!"

"only for this mission though."

"aw man."

"we start tomorrow, so fix yourselves up. i have a feeling we'll be traveling around some tomorrow." midoriya ordered. "dismissed."

everyone poured out, katsuki walking directly to the medicine ward. he passed by the hallways, the pictures representing the allyship between them and the several surrounding gangs mocking as he walked by.

it all felt so familiar, it had only been a year. not much had changed, except for the atmosphere that he brought along with him.

he finally made it to the ward, looking past all the rooms. 'lets see, torture room.. cell.. no she'd be here.' he thought before walking into a hallway.

there he found only one room with a light on. he was right, he looked in to see you, fast asleep with bandages wrapped around your arm.

'at least you were safe', he sighed. jumping slightly when 'recovery girl' started speaking to him. "you did well, a moment later and she'd be dead. don't beat yourself up young man."

a moment passed between them, her words resonating in his mind. he'd done all that he could doz

"you can go wait inside, just don't wake her. there should be a spare bed you can pull out."

and with that, she left.

he walked inside, pulled out the bed and held your hand as he slept. the guilt never dissipated, it was all his fault. and so he'd have to fix it.

he woke up to the feeling of you moving. he'd been on edge the whole night, so the feeling of your hand jerking out of his woke him up immediately.

"katsuki." you said, sounding so tired and confused it broke his heart a bit.

" 'm here." he hugged you quickly, being mindful of the wound in your arm. a desperate, tearful kiss shared between you.

you took his face into your hands, making him stare into your eyes.

"i was so scared, you don't even know." you said nervously. "i thought i was gonna die."

katsuki held you tighter, still so disappointed with himself for even letting you get to that point. he felt like he should've taken the shot. that he should be the one injured right now, but instead he leaned in closer to you. "i was too, but you're here now. safe. with me."

"mhm."

you held him for a bit longer, looking at the room surrounding you.

while he was thinking of the possibilities that could've happened, his one wrong step from you could've left him all alone, you examined the room.

it wasn't a regular hospital, probably not a hospital at all. you knew that from the guns laying on the counters. the stitches all around ready for work, the empty body bags that were bloodied. mocking as they hung from the ceiling.

the windows, all reinforced heavily. the door that had a bolt lock on it.

you didn't get to feel relieved for long. "katsuki. be honest with me."

he tensed up, he knew you'd find out eventually. but he wanted to finish this mess before you ever knew about it. "always am."

"are you.. back in this?" you asked, looking into his eyes with an anxious expression. your hands clinging to his sides.

he sighed heavily. "y'know i have to. i'll never relax if i know that fucker is still out there. he could come back and.. and hurt you again."

"and i can't change your mind about this?"

"...no. it's for.. for us. i wouldn't have left if i didn't care for you, you know that."

"i do."

"then.. just-- wait for me okay? i won't leave 'til later today."

you nodded, laying your head in his chest. "if you get hurt too i think ill die."

"i won't get hurt."

"you promise?"

"i swear."

you leaned in and pecked another kiss on his lips. though you were interrupted by kirishima walking in.

"oops, i really should've knocke-"

"yeah you should've dumbass."

"hi kiri!" you waved, shoving katsuki off of you. "hey [name]!"

katsuki had one arm around you, squinting seemingly annoyed at his partner annoying his wife.

the topic would randomly change from shows you were watching, to fun things that have happened recently, but it took a deep turn into what had just happened to you.

"so, [name]. you heard bakugo's hanging with us for a while, right?"

"yeah, i did." you said, holding him just a bit closer subconsciously.

"so, did he tell you who we think did it?"

"shut the fuck up kir--"

"you already know?" your attention was on him fully. the look in your eyes revealing just how much you wanted answers. "well, it's just a guess for no--"

"shut up kirishima."

"but we think it's shinsou."

your face twisted in confusion. "shinsou?...

no, you're wrong."

"babe, please stay out of this."

"shinsou wouldn't do this-"

"they found his bullet in your arm. nobody else who isn't retired or dead uses that shit."

you physically recoiled at that. "no way." you looked to kirishima, who only confirmed it.

"this has to be a set up or something? he wouldn't do that!"

kirishima made a face, which made katsuki squint his eyes in confusion. "what?"

"i mean.. she could be right y'know. we talked a bit before you came bro." kirishima said, walking in and closing the door behind him.

"right about what? shinsou is associated even if he wasn't the one who shot the bullet." katsuki asserted, standing up to meet kirishima, even if he was taller. this made kiri shoot his arms up in defense.

"i'm saying you're both right. we think it's someone closely associated to shinsou, someone who either taught him or was close to his teacher."

"eraserhead? the guy with a thousand hits under his belt?"katsuki glared, shoving a pointed finger in kirishima's chest.

"hey man, i'm just the messenger. but, no. someone else who learned from him too. but, midoriya called 'you know who' for information."

katsuki sighed, knowing the asshole who went by 'hawks' was about to be here any moment. "fine, i'll be ready soon. just.. let me take her home."

kirishima nodded, leaving the room with a "be back soon man!"

"i'm taking you home baby."

"fine."

"and you have to take all the medicine and stuff when i call you. we'll have to use burners again."

you rolled your eyes. "..fine."

"and, i want you to text me every hour and before you go to sleep."

"fucking fine. let's go already, this place creeps me out."

"good."

he grabbed your hand, helping you up. he let you change into some sweatpants and a tshirt so you didn't have to be the hospital gown for much longer.

you drove home, taking the long route so you wouldn't have to the see the remnants of your , almost, death in your own shop. he had to leave you in front and he wasn't happy about it. opening your door and hugging you tightly, you knew he wasn't going to see you for a couple days.

"babe, text me whenever you can. send me photos or voice messages i don't give a fuck."

"it's only a couple of days kat' you'll be fine, but i'll do it. you text me too, tell me when you sleep and stuff."

"don't let anyone in the house and don't tell anyone what's happenin-"

"i know, babe. i'll be okay."

he shared one last kiss with you. with a determined face he turned away, he would not sacrifice your life together like this. he wouldn't not let you get hurt again.

he would not fail.

next part

[woso-dreamzzz]

Outburst IV

Leah Williamson x Child!Reader

Summary: You go on a podcast

"And you know, as well as being a footballer and playing with Less and Tooney, you're also a mother to a little girl."

Any mention of you makes Leah smile and she glances off camera to where you're sitting with a crayon and a sheet of paper.

"Yeah," She says, that same dopey smile on her face as she tears her gaze away from you," She's four."

"And she's here today."

"Yeah, I almost didn't bring her because we're recording this so early but my mum had to cancel so she's just behind the camera. I think she's-"

"I'm drawin', Mum!" You call out and Leah grins.

"Are you, bug?"

"Uh-huh! Is it my turn yet?"

Leah glances at Vick Hope. "She loves a microphone. I may have promised her a turn on one of the mics in return for waking up so early today."

"Oh, yeah," Tooney says," We've got to have Bug on here."

"If you're okay with that?" Vick checks.

"Yeah. Honestly, I thought she would have interrupted more. She's very excited. Lovebug, do you want to come over here and you can have your turn?"

You're up like a shot, practically tripping over yourself to get to Leah.

The others have to hold in a coo as you come into view.

You'd arrived today in a big puffy coat and was immediately set up behind the camera, blocked by all the staff and the equipment.

Now they can see you clearly, in a pair of old Arsenal kit shorts but a white t-shirt instead of a jersey, black cardigan and a silly black hat just like Leah's, looking every bit her mini apart from the old Jordan shorts you're wearing.

"Alright." Leah lifts you up onto her lap and lowers her mic so it's more your size. "You happy now?"

You frown. "It's not like Auntie Alex's mic."

"Auntie Alex?" The strange woman that's not Less or Tooney asks.

"My auntie Alex always lets me use her mic at games because I have important things to say and mics help people hear me!"

"Alex Scott," Leah puts in, bouncing you on her lap slightly," Bug really loves her."

"Almost as much as I love Mummy!" You turn to look at the strange woman again. "My Mummy plays for Villa in Berm-ham."

"Birmingham," Leah interrupts again and you tilt your head back to look at her, patting her cheek.

"It's my turn now, mum," You tell her," You have to wait your turn to speak again."

Tooney sputters slightly and Alessia has to bite her lip to stop the laughter threatening to come out at Leah's affronted face as you land another condescending pat on her cheek.

"Mummy plays in Berm-ham," You say again," So I see her every other week. She plays for Villa but I like Arsenal more." You puff out your chest. "When I'm older, I'm gonna play for Arsenal."

"Bug already trains with us," Alessia says and you let her talk because she doesn't have to wait her turn because she doesn't share her microphone like you and Leah do," She's very good."

"And I go on camp! Sarina calls me up every time because I'm so good!"

"You must be," The strange but nice lady says," Because you've got two mummies who play football and you must work super hard."

"I do," You say, bobbing your head up and down," Mummy says one day I'm going to be scoring every game because I'm that good."

"We're very proud of our Bug," Leah says and you only let her have a little turn because she's being nice," She always does her very best."

"Enough for a puppy?"

Leah's face drops. "You've got Blu at Jordan's," She reminds you and you perk up suddenly, turning back to your new microphone again.

"Blu's my birthday buddy!" You announce gleefully," We're the same age! And we share a birthday!"

"Wow, that sounds really cool. You must really love your dog."

"I do! I do!"

"Do you miss him when you're on camp?"

You think for a moment. You've never really thought about if you miss Blu on camp before.

Camp is fun because you're got the other girls and auntie Keira and auntie Lucy and Mum and Bear. You've never really stopped to think about Blu when there's already so much to do at camp.

You shake your head. "I miss Bear more."

"Bear's Keira and Lucy's kid," Leah explains," They're best friends but they don't see each other too often because she lives in Barcelona."

"Bear's kind of funny," Tooney says," She's always nappin'."

"Don't be mean!" You snap suddenly, leaning all the way over to smack Tooney on the arm.

"Bug!" Leah groans," We've talk about using our nice hands. We don't hit."

You huff, sitting more firmly on Leah's lap again and crossing your arms over your chest. "No being mean about Bear! She naps because she's tired! Mum says napping is good, right?"

"That is right, Bug. I do say that."

You nod, turning back to the strange but nice lady. "Bear is my best friend and I love her."

Leah grins down at you, adjusting your hat slightly.

"Keira and I aren't huggers but those two certainly are. Always having a little cuddle those two are."

You frown, a little furrow in your brow. "But you are a hugger, Mum. You always give me cuddles."

"Well, yeah, Bug but I was talking-"

"You don't like my cuddles?"

"No, Bug that's not what I'm saying. I just meant-"

Your bottom lips wobbles and you move to slip off Leah's lap. "I'm sorry, mum. I won't have cuddles anymore if it makes you feel better. No more Bug Hugs. Promise!"

"No, Bug," Leah says firmly, pulling you closer into her body, arms curling around your body," I love Bug Hugs. I always want Bug Hugs from you."

[talesof-old]

lay me down | r.l., s.b., j.p., & l.e.

pairing(s): poly!marauders + lily x fem!reader

warning(s): 18+, smut, sexual and nonsexual intimacy, mentions of war, near death experiences, mentions of child abuse, mentions of scars, talk of death, using potions for pain management, fingering (f receiving), piv, talk of pregnancy, Lily’s pregnant ???, the human need to fuck after a traumatic event, this started as one thing and then took a really weird turn — ends abruptly bc i needed to finish this :/

word count: 8.3k

masterlist

war leaves none untouched

Your hands shook as you smoothed a dittany balm over James’ newest magic induced injury.

Tonight has been a close call. Too close.

Lily was still arguing with the others in the living room, voice pinched and pitchy, eyes lined with livid tears. You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face as if to will away the adrenaline. Things were getting worse.

“Hey,” James caught your other hand, his thumb tracing gentle patterns into your skin. You observed the action with glazed eyes. All you could see was the Death Eater, wand spouting an all too familiar green spark before you were tackling James away from its trail. There’d been so many of them.

So many trying to kill you these past few months it was going to eat you alive. They’d keep coming, and you’d keep fighting, even if it ended with you six feet under.

“We’re alright, sweets. Alive and whole.” You glanced up at his face. Earnest, and worried, with a crinkle between his brows that nearly had you reaching out to smooth it.

“You almost died.”

The words were a broken whisper as they left your lips. His eyes softened further, reaching to pull you into a solid embrace as Lily continued to rant on about recklessness and careless stupidity. Tears burned at your eyes so you squeezed them shut, burying your face in James’ neck.

“I know we made some terrible decisions, but we’re gonna live to see another day, yeah? Promise.” You huffed, responding with a shaky giggle.

“I don’t know, Remus and Sirius might not with the lashing Lily’s giving ‘em.”

He chuckled and squeezed you against him, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. You breathed in deeply with the hope of settling your frazzled nerves. James’ scent washed over you, a combination of his favorite cologne and sweat, lulling you into a place of safety you never wanted to leave.

“There you are.”

Lily’s frigid voice drew you away from James. He turned towards her, watching her with a sheepish apology written all over his face. Remus and Sirius ducked into the bedroom behind her, both wincing at her tone. You moved, leaving James and crossing over to the other two, taking stock of any potential injuries. Lily had done a little, though you knew she could’ve done more. Holding your tongue, you grabbed your first aid supplies, motioning for the boys to sit so you could heal their scrapes and cuts.

Sirius’ were minor, a scrape along his left arm and a cut on his right hand, plus a few bruises here and there. You kissed his forehead when you finished, moving on to your tallest partner.

Remus at least had the decency to wince when you started working on his worst injury, though part of that might’ve been his increased sensitivity with the approaching full moon. You gnawed on your inner cheek. His upper left thigh held a deep cut still oozing blood, the skin red and angry around the wound. You slipped into the bathroom, ignoring Lily and James as you passed by them, wetting a fresh rag and returning to clean the offensive gash.

You were used to this. Lily and you were the healers of the bunch, normally passing around the first aid kit like it was your calling, healing and cleaning as you went. Your mouth pressed into a tight line as you worked, a silent, wandless spell already closing up the majority of the injury. A dollop of dittany balm across the now much shallower cut worked like a charm, and soon all that remained was a pinkish scar.

Remus watched you as you went, cleaning any wound and healing it just as fast, goosebumps covering his skin. It took you a few moments to realize that the room had gone silent, and that all of them were looking at you expectantly.

You blinked, mouth twisting into a frown. Remus reached for your hand, a gentle grasp on your wrist as he guided you to the bed next to him.

“Are you alright?” The words were soft as they left him, warm, honey colored eyes seeming to stare into your soul. You drew in a sharp, shaky breath.

“I’m fine. Promise.” There was a weak smile plastered onto your lips that you were sure looked fake, but you couldn’t muster any energy to make it look real. Exhaustion gripped your very bones, and all you wanted to do was take a quick shower and go to sleep.

“You don’t have to pretend-“ Lily was the next to speak, though James was already shaking his head, eyes never leaving you. If there was one person in the room who could pick up on when to press an issue, it was him.

“Come here, sweets.” You finished packing the first aid kit, leaving it on the bed as James tugged you towards the bathroom, the shower already started. The mirror began to fog up, steam rising to the ceiling as you undressed. James followed suit.

You stepped into the shower; time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once. Water rushed over your sore limbs, working better than any spell to ease the tension between your shoulders. You sighed as James entered the shower behind you, warm hands coming up to caress your ribcage.

“‘M tired, James. Tired of having to fight all the time.” He smoothed his hands over your shoulders, simply letting you vent as he lathered up soap and a wash rag before handing it to you. You went silent again, cleaning the dirt and sweat off of your body. A panic had settled into your chest when the war started, and it seemed as though with each passing month, it coiled tighter and tighter around your heart.

“I know.” Those simple words were enough to break the dam you’d been keeping strong. A sob bubbled up from your throat and before you knew it you’d thrown your arms around James and shook in his grasp. He held you close, rocking you through every sob and hiccup as though he could somehow soothe away the fear.

“You’ve been so strong, sweets, let us take care of you.” You sniffed, thankful you were in the shower and not out in the bedroom, where everyone would’ve seen you crying. There was not a part of you that hadn’t held steady since everything went to shit. You’d been the one to comfort, the one to help, the voice of level reason. You haven’t stumbled once.

But the thought of losing James, or any of them?

You would never recover.

He pulled away from you, pressing a watery kiss to your forehead before washing himself. You stepped out from the water to let him rinse off, though your fingers twitched with the need to comfort yourself by touching him. A lopsided grin made its way to his face, though it was obvious to you that he couldn’t see a damn thing. Some part of you warmed at the fact that James couldn’t really see you with his glasses off. Your shower cap and snotty face was not exactly an image you wanted out there.

“I’m gonna go check on the others, okay? Gotta get some food together.” He pulled you towards the warm water again, his fingers running over the skin of your arms.

“Take your time. It’s okay to need support.” He pulled the curtain to the side just enough to pop out onto the bathroom mat and dry himself off. You could already imagine his messy black hair and comfy clothing. An ache settled in you that had you turning off the shower and reaching for a clean towel.

It didn’t take very long for you to get dressed, the lotion you used a birthday gift from Lily that you had taken to rationing for special occasions.

You felt like using it.

It reminded you of a certain redhead, of her signature floral and ink perfumes. You breathed in deeply, willing that ache away. It did you no good.

Instead, you let your mind wonder to other things, like the upcoming full moon. Just four days away, not even a week into December, but you knew Remus was having a hard time this month. He’d been jumpy, sensitive to touch, spent. You hoped that the potion you’d been working on would help, but all it seemed to do was dull the pain. That counted for something.

You didn’t have the energy to deal with your hair, choosing to pull it into a loose ponytail at the base of your neck to deal with tomorrow. James had been kind enough to grab some of your clothes; loose pajamas were slipped over your body and socks pulled into your feet and then you were leaving the safety of being alone. The door swung open soundlessly.

Sirius bounded past you, whatever he’d decided to say muffled as he shut the door and turned on the shower.

You sighed. Briefly, you wondered if this is how Remus felt every full moon: every bit a stranger in his own body, aching from head to toe with skin that felt much too tight. You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself and making your way into the kitchen.

Lily was a whirlwind, putting together a meal of omelettes. James dutifully obeyed each of her commands, but you saw the way they both faltered. They were just as weary as the rest of you. Guilt bubbled in your chest as you turned away, choosing to approach Remus instead. You gently pressed yourself into his side where he was practically laying on the kitchen island. He glanced down at you, eyes bleary but far too seeing for you to handle. You buried your face into his arm. The pressure of your face against his bicep was enough to distract you from the tears that threatened to fall once again.

He cooed, shifting your body until your face was pressed against his chest and a soothing hand ran up and down your back.

The clatter of a plate near you had you startling. James rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, though he made a gesture to the plate.

“Eat up. You need food ‘fore you go to bed.”

You huffed, but reached for the fork he offered you anyway. None of you had eaten since early this morning, and even then it was nothing but granola bars and juice. Merlin, one of you needed to go grocery shopping.

Remus watched you eat like a hawk, making sure you ate every bite. Warmth spread across your face. You’d gotten better about remembering to eat, but they hadn’t forgotten about the mission that nearly ended with you in a casket because you went dizzy.

Lily set a glass of juice down in front of you and paused, hesitancy written across her features. You deflated. “Lily-“

Then she was crushing you, arms wrapped tight around your shoulders as she pulled you from Remus’ side into her, body trembling. Today could’ve ended much differently. If you hadn’t been fast enough, it would’ve been James or you that died. You melted into her touch, her soft body melding into yours until you weren’t sure where you ended and she began.

“I’m sorry.” Almost unrecognizable in tone, and filled with unshed tears, you said the phrase that all five of you hardly ever uttered. There wasn’t much else you could say. You wouldn’t promise to never do it again. If it meant saving them, you’d do it a million times over.

“I love you.” The words made you tighten your grip, burying your face in her neck. She still needed a shower, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. It was Lily: she had been there for you the moment you stepped onto the train to Hogwarts, and she’d be there for you until she drew her last breath.

“I love you too.”

She pulled herself from you, a hand coming up to caress your face. Her eyes searched yours for a moment, and when she seemed content with what she found, she went back to her cooking. Your heart ached at the distance, like a mournful puppy, and you slunk back to Remus’ side. He had no problems tucking you into his arms.

“Mine ready yet?” Sirius bounded in like a burst of energy, loud and eyes sharp. Remus scoffed and nuzzled his nose into your hair.

“Dunno, are you finally done with the bathroom?” Sirius smacked a hand against his chest in mock indignation, eyes opened wide with a teasing look of shock. You couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you suggesting I spend too long in the shower?” Remus shrugged, lips quirked up in a lazy smirk. Another plate was placed on the island and your now empty one was whisked away, James using magic to keep up with Lily’s demands. Comfortable silence settled, interrupted only by the clatter of pans and silverware.

You sipped on your juice while the others ate, and before long, James was waving a wand to clean and put away the dishes. He pulled you away from Remus, ignoring both of your half-hearted protests. His arms wrapped around your shoulders like a comforting blanket, slowly guiding you back towards one of the bedrooms.

You sighed against him.

With the shut of the door and a, “Sweets, let me take care of you,” James lead you to the bed and tugged on your oversized shirt. You shook your head. His grin turned teasing, his eyes sparkling in the artificial light coming from one of the few lamps still on.

“How dirty minded of you, I didn’t even mean it that way.” You shook your head and laughed, pulling off your trousers to just sleep in your shirt and pants. It didn’t take much for you to settle into bed, eyes closed and breath steady.

“Let me hold you?” Featherlight fingers traced over your bare thigh, but nothing could hide the uncertainty in James’ voice. You peaked over at him, his eyes on you even though his glasses sat on the edge of the bedside table. Something akin to grief tugged at your heart. It took a lot to truly shake up James—you couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked like this.

“James.”

That one word, just his name, was enough for everything to come spilling out. A tidal wave of emotion on an already broken shore. Tears pricked at your eyes again and you inwardly cringed, wondering if perhaps your period was nearly here because there was no other reason for you be crying like this.

“You almost died.” James’ words were spoken with enough intensity that it startled you. Sure, James was often passionate about a great many things, but the fire in his eyes burned differently this time. You knew why.

In just six months, you’d almost been killed on three separate occasions, and that was just you. The others had run ins of their own that nearly went south.

Pain twisted James’ pretty lips, his dark brown eyes as focused on you as they could be.

“You could’ve been killed! And it would’ve been my fault. I chose to follow after them, I put us in danger even after you begged me not-“

You cut him off with a kiss far harsher than you meant it to be. He startled at that, but was quick to use his arm to pull you against him, ruffling the sheets you were laid out on. He remained tense despite it, so you continued, kissing down his prickly chin and neck. He’d complain later when he had to shave.

“It wasn’t just your fault, James. I love you, and I don’t blame you for what happened. Were you the one pointing that wand?” You might’ve murmured the words against the skin of his collarbone, but you pulled away to look at his face once you finished speaking. A faint blush warmed his cheeks and neck, a pretty flush on his brown complexion.

You raised a brow. “Well?”

A shaky breath left his lips and he shook his head, fingers coming to play with the hem of your sleep shirt.

“I love you, James Potter. And I always want you around, ‘kay? You can hold me whenever you like.” He nodded, face even redder than before. You nearly giggled, choosing to instead bury your face in his neck and breathing in deeply. “Goodnight, Prongs.”

You woke up to complete darkness.

Well, not complete darkness, if the moonlight shining in through the curtains had anything to say about it. A sigh left you. At least you’d gotten a couple of hours of rest before your body decided being awake was preferable.

Faint snoring could be heard from the other side of the bed, quiet enough to let you know it was Lily. For a split second, you wondered if she’d let you finally run some tests tomorrow. She’d been complaining about sore breasts and nausea she attributed to a late period and stress, but you weren’t of the same belief. It’s not that you wanted her to be pregnant, you were all still so young, but it was bound to happen eventually.

Better her than you.

You cursed softly at the thought before slowly sitting up, careful not to wake up James or Lily as you eased off the mattress and padded across the hardwood floors. The door hinges were silent as you opened it, and then the door was clicking shut behind you, leaving you alone. You breathed in and out deeply.

Water was first on your list of things to acquire, and you settled into the couch with the glass in your hand and a blanket around you. Your books on different kinds of healing littered the living space (much to James and Lily’s dismay), but you almost always knew exactly where each was. You rolled your shoulders.

The minutes ticked by, your books illuminated by your wand as you studied. It wasn’t unusual to find you hunched over a book, eyes scanning every inch of the page to ensure you remembered the information spread out in front of you. The chapter you were currently reading was about the mental effects of certain spells, and it was engrossing enough that you missed the creak of a door opening down the hall.

“You’re up late.” You jumped, your own hand slapping over your mouth to muffle your yelp. Your heart ached in your chest as adrenaline rushed through your veins. Remus chuckled quietly and settled onto the couch next to you. He stretched, wincing as his bones popped before falling limp on the cushions. You bite at your lip before placing your book on the coffee table, choosing to instead shift closer to him. He let you, honey colored eyes framed by dark circles watching your every move.

“Why’re you up, hm?” You gently laid your head on his shoulder, your entire body pressed to his. He let out a tired sigh, letting his head fall to rest on yours. Every inch of him was rigid, like one wrong move and his bones would snap. You reached over to trace circles along his bare legs, his boxer briefs riding up just enough for you to stroke the edge of a particularly brutal scar on his upper thigh. His muscles flexed underneath your hand.

“James didn’t fucking give me time t’see if you were alright.” There was no animosity coloring his tone, just bitter resignation that had you humming, fingers still tracing over his scars. You understood James’ need to confess his guilt, but you didn’t even utter a word to Sirius before you fell asleep. You ran your tongue across the back of your teeth.

“Are you alright? And Sirius?” Remus nuzzled into your head, the action similar enough to a dog you would’ve normally laughed.

“Jus’ tired.” You nodded, hand coming to a standstill on his leg. Remus shifted, not bothering to hide the pained gasp that built in his throat. You pulled away from him, ignoring his whine, and were already crossing the room when he rasped, “What are you doing?”

You opened the potions cabinet, pulling out the last vial from your tester batch. A hopefully potent pain relief you’d been formulating for months. It glittered in your wand’s light, a beautiful shimmering pale blue. You’d originally tried to make a potion to help Remus’ transformations, but when that hadn’t worked, you’d turned to managing symptoms instead. This was basically meant to be a cure all, and a dropper full allowed you to go without pain for a full 24 hours with no side effects.

“My next batch will be ready to decant tomorrow, so I’m making you take this tonight.” Remus nodded, though you weren’t even sure he’d attempt to argue. It didn’t take away the unsteadiness brought about by the full moon, or the discomfort, but the pain was the worst part so you’d do what you could. You handed over the vial, settling down next to him once again. He pretended not to grimace as he popped the lid off of the glass bottle. The smell of bitter greens wafted towards you but you managed to keep a straight face.

Remus brought the bottle to his lips and tipped it back, nearly gagging at the less than agreeable taste. You patted his shoulder. He discarded the bottle and pulled you back against him, arms wrapped around your upper body. One of his hands rested directly above your heart, thumping beneath his palm like a steady drum. His muscles relaxed as the potion began to work its magic.

“Can’t believe you f’cking did that, ya know? Think I nearly had a damn heart attack when I saw that bloody spell almost hit ya.” His thumb ran over the hem of your shirt, edging over your collarbone. You took his moment of silence as a chance to study him. Messy curly hair that had grown just a tad bit longer than he liked, softer waves turning into tighter ringlets the longer he let it get. A newer scar on his cheekbone to add to the few that spanned across his face. It was only when you met his gaze that you knew he was studying you just the same.

“‘M glad you’re alive, dove.” Affection bled into his words, a far more frequent occurrence as of late. You smiled softly.

“Me too.”

The moon slowly moved across the sky, but the two of you stayed sitting on the couch, wrapped up in the comfort of simply being next to each other. By the time you glanced at the clock, it read a simple 3:48am.

You groaned, choosing to instead move your body to straddle Remus, burying your face in his neck. He breathed a laugh, a large hand coming up to rest on your lower back as you got comfortable. You shimmied closer, ignoring his groan because you knew it had nothing to do with the moon. The potion had been working for nearly two hours now.

“We should go to bed.” He nodded sagely at your statement, though his fingers dug into your skin, pushing you down until your clothed cunt made contact with his half hard erection. Involuntarily, your hips rolled. He hissed. You smiled against his skin, arms wrapped around his torso as you pressed as close to him as possible. He let you, the sensitivity brought on by the moon turning him into something that craved intimacy and softness more than anything. Due to your and Lily’s curves, it wasn’t uncommon for Remus to hold either one of you close, basking in the comfort that you offered.

The week leading up the full moon normally saw an uptick to Remus’ sex drive, but two days before, he’d crash, needing nonsexual physical support instead. Any of you would jump through fire to make sure he got what he needed.

“Want you t’let me fuck you.” His soft voice hit your ears, breathy and hoarse with want. You rolled your hips again, cheek pressed to his collarbone.

“You sure?” He hummed, fingers coming to grip your hips. Nights like this made for lazy sex, nothing frantic or quick like what you’d often found yourself doing at school. You drew away from his chest, face to face. His eyes were half lidded, focused on your movements as though he already knew what you’d say.

You lifted a hand and carded your fingers through his hair. His eyes fluttered shut as you did so, and you wasted no time in moving in to press your lips to his. His fingers tightened against your skin, the fabric of your sleep shirt bunched in his palms. You smiled against his mouth. Remus sighed against you, melting into your touch as you trailed your fingers from the back of his head down his chest, all the way down until your fingers came to the hem of his t-shirt.

“Take this off f’me?” He was quick to oblige. You couldn’t help the girlish giggle that left your lips at his hasty attempt to remove his shirt. You’d had feelings for Remus the longest out of any of your partners, an innocent schoolgirl crush turned deep infatuation. Now, he called himself one of your husbands, and it sent your heart fluttering. He tossed his shirt onto the floor, not caring where it landed. Your eyes honed in on the small chub of his belly from his slouched position, the scars that lined his torso. He nearly jumped out of his skin when your fingers grazed over his happy trail, a soft groan falling from his mouth.

It took you just a few moments to discard your own shirt, your breasts exposed to the chilly air since you’d forgone wearing a bra to sleep. None of your partners ever made you feel anything less than beautiful, and right now was no exception. Remus’ pupils had blown wide, nearly drowning out their beautiful amber colour, dark with desire as he took in your heavy tits. You’d often complain to Lily about back pain from your larger breasts, and while Remus would never want you hurting, he loved the mounds on your chest more than anything. One of his hands came up to your breast, thumb flicking over your right nipple. Your breath hitched and you pressed further into him.

None of you had had the chance to actually be intimate in the past three weeks. Between missions, brewing potions, and healing people, there was simply no time. Exhaustion had sunk its claws deep into each of you, and none had a chance to escape it.

“Always so pretty f’me, dove, always s’perfect.” Remus’ other hand, the one not preoccupied with your breasts, splayed across your lower back, almost as low as your arse. You arched into him, trapping his hand between each of your chests, though you weren’t sure he minded. He let you grind against him, the two of you in nothing but your undergarments. You ran your hands over his back, his shoulders, his arms, anywhere you could reach, simply wanting to feel him.

Heat pooled in between your thighs, pulsing in time with your heart. Remus looked similarly affected.

“Come ‘ere.” He lifted you off of his lap, ignoring your pout, and began to pull down your panties. They were old, a ratty pair you’d normally wear on your period, but you didn’t care. They’d end up on the floor anyway. You moved your legs to pull them off and deposited them by the foot of the couch, Remus doing the same. His dick slapped against his abdomen, the same brown shade of his skin, though the tip was flushed a deep reddish shade that had your mouth watering.

Remus’ fingers gripped your chin before you could move towards it. Something sparked in his eyes.

“‘M gonna ‘ave to prep you first, dove.” You let your head fall to the side as if disappointed, but Remus was skilled with both his wicked tongue and long fingers. You squirmed and clenched your thighs, desperate for some kind of friction that you were currently deprived of.

He smirked, drawing you to him, lips soft against yours. He cupped your neck and jaw, thumb running atop your cheekbone. You were quick to run your tongue along the seam of his mouth. He parted his lips ever slightly, teasing you as if he believed you’d force them apart. Instead, you drew back your tongue and simply deepened the kiss, forgoing any need to breathe. Remus was all you wanted to know, all you wanted to think about.

He moved, lips trailing from the edge of yours down your jaw, coming to suck on the sweet spot at the junction of your collarbone and neck. Your head fell, baring more of your throat to him. He sucked and nipped as he pleased, and it was only when you were trembling beside him did he gently guide your thighs apart. You shivered in anticipation. Rough fingertips caressed the tender skin of your inner thighs, wandering higher and higher until they were right where you wanted them. You nearly keened as Remus ran his fingers over your lower lips, spreading them apart to thumb at your clit.

“Quiet.”

He chuckled at your near silent whine and buck of your hips, urging him to do something other than tease you. He traced along your slit before dipping just the tip of his middle finger into you, testing your wetness. You hummed, rocking onto it, taking him deeper. He tutted softly, palm grinding against your clit, the roughness enough to send little jolts of pleasure through your body.

It didn’t take long for you to take the entirety of his finger, body jerking as he added his ring finger. He curled his fingers, a quiet, broken moan leaving your lips. He chuckled against your skin. Remus let you ride his fingers, scissoring and curling them expertly until his fingertips grazed some spongy spot inside of you. A strangled gasp echoed through the dark room.

Something tightened in your abdomen, your walls fluttering around Remus’ fingers. He grinned, thumb swiping over your clit in a much more targeted manner. Your hips rolled uncontrollably. Remus kept up with the circling of your bundle of nerves, every inch of your body taut as the coil went tight. He smirked as you gripped his hair and pulled him over to you, a clash of lips and tongue as your orgasm washed over you. Your legs tightened around his arm as you ride out the waves of your orgasm, thighs slick with cum by the time it’s over.

Remus withdrew his fingers with a squelch, immediately sticking them in his mouth and licking them clean. You whined, pussy clenching on nothing as he rearranged himself, turning to sit with his back pressed against the armrest of the couch, the cushions to his left. Your grin was hazy with lust and sleep, but you straddled him all the same.

He gave his dick a few pumps, precum spread along the shaft to help ease any pain. Your eyes hungrily took in the way his fingers looked wrapped around his pretty cock. His hands shook as he aligned himself with your opening.

You whined with sensitivity as he gently guided you into his dick, the head prodding at your entrance. You slowly sink down, pausing every few moments to accommodate the girth of him. Remus’ dick was longer than the others, and fairly large all things considered. It took you ages to get used to the feeling. Your pussy stretched, stuffed full as you rocked your hips to ease any uncomfortable sensation.

Remus hissed as you did so, shallowly thrusting to help you along. Soon enough, you’d taken him completely, bodies flush to each other. You clenched hard around him, relishing in the throaty moan that fell from his lips. His hands palmed at your arse, urging you to still as he gathered himself. You tilted your head forward, forehead pressed against his, noses touching. He tightened his grip on you, arms coming to twine around your waist. The closeness had your heart aching.

A few moments passed before you gave an experimental roll of your hips, Remus responding with a sharp thrust. The two of you found a rhythm, grinding and thrusting against one another in an almost lazy manner, relishing in each other’s touch. Heat spread through your entire body, turning your limbs soft and your mind fuzzy. You pressed another kiss to his lips.

Remus adjusted his arms, letting one of his hands come down to your pussy and swiping across your clit. You shivered against him. Pleasure snaked up your spine as he circled your sensitive clit, his body responding in kind. With every thrust, his balls tightened and throbbed, urging him to spill inside of you. You clenched around him again.

“Fuck, fuck-“

Broken groans and gasps muffled only by locked lips filled the space, along with Remus’ murmurs. You let your head fall to his shoulder, the vibrations of his voice lulling you closer to your orgasm.

“S’good f’me, s’pretty, so tight.” He was babbling, his last word punctuated by a sharp thrust, hitting a spot inside of you that had you seeing stars. You moaned, thighs trembling as something deep inside you knotted and tightened. His thrusts turned sloppy and frantic. You rolled your hips in time with his movements, every swipe across your clit sending you hurtling towards an edge.

Remus’ dick throbbed inside of you, and then you were in free fall, gasping and moaning as your pussy clenched like a vice around him. He grunted, following you in climax. He coated your inner walls, still rocking against you as you both came back down to earth.

You shook, falling limp in his lap. He chuckled wearily, both of you hissing as he slid out, pliable in his arms as he nuzzled into your breasts.

“Moony?”

In your chase of pleasure, the two of you didn’t hear the opening and closing of a bedroom door, nor the padding of bare feet on hardwood floors. You nearly jumped out of Remus’ lap in surprise, your head whipping around to face Sirius. He stood in the entrance to the hallway with messy hair and an amused expression. You settled into Remus’ arms again.

“And what do you two think you’re doing?” You huffed, reaching out a hand and making grabby motions towards your husband. He smiled widely, quiet as he crossed the room and settled beside you. His gray eyes swept over your naked bodies, at the wetness that coated each of your thighs and the glow of your faces.

“Could’ve asked me to join.” The words came out petulant, and if it wasn’t 4am you’d be laughing loudly. You hummed.

“You could join us now?” Sleep lined his face, though it was rapidly leaving as the seconds ticked by and you both remained unclothed next to him. Sirius sighed dramatically before shifting his body to curl up next to the two of you. Remus remained quiet, his thumb tracing circles on your left hip.

“Dunno if ‘m up for it…” You buried your fingers in Remus’ brown hair, peppering kissing along his cheeks and forehead. He scrunched his nose at the affection, though his eyes bled a warmth you knew meant he enjoyed it. Sirius halfheartedly pouted next to you. You tugged on the hair at the nape of Remus’ neck, lips trailing down from his jaw to his bobbing Adam’s apple, ignoring the way Sirius squirmed beside you. Remus panted as you continued your ministrations, skin decorated in a mosaic of rapidly reddening skin.

“Nope, enough. My turn.” Sirius all but dragged you away from his lap, tugging you into him like a child would his favorite toy. You rolled your eyes. He nuzzled into your hair, which by now had turned into a haphazard mess from sleeping and sex.

“I’m glad you’re alive, darling.” You nodded against him, sleep pulling at you more harshly than before. You yawned, choosing instead to burrow into his chest and close your eyes. Sirius ran a hand up and down your back—a soothing tactic he’d learned from Remus.

“Tomorrow?” He murmured against your temple. You snuggled closer to him and hummed, blindly reaching out to grab ahold of Remus’ hand. Warm fingers intertwined with yours and you sighed contently, finally letting your body sleep again.

At some point during the early hours of the morning, one of the boys had wrapped you up in a blanket and moved you to lay down. Sirius curled his long body around yours, one arm draped around your waist to hold you in place. Soft voices rose from the kitchen, leaving you groaning as it pulled you from dreamless oblivion.

“Morning, love.” Gentle fingers grazed over your hair, tucking it behind your ear. You preened at Lily’s soft touch. She giggled quietly. James whispered something to Remus, to which the taller man elbowed him in the ribs. He yelped, huffing laughter filling the room. Sirius groaned, tightening his grip on you and forcing you back into the warm cocoon he’d created for you. Lily clicked her tongue.

“Here.”

She offered one of the longer pillows on the floor and the two of you maneuvered it to replace your body. You grimaced at the state of your body. Neither you nor Remus cleaned up afterwards, leaving your thighs a now crusty mess.

Lily laughed, tossing you your shirt as she sauntered into the kitchen. You padded towards them, all too aware of your bare lower half. Remus smirked at your shyness and ran a finger along the bare skin of your arm, shivers following in its wake.

“So what time do you want to leave?” You glanced at the clock. 11:28am.

By now, the sun had well risen, which meant you’d probably see at least one or two other people at the potions ‘lab’. It truly wasn’t even a lab, originally starting out as a storage room at Headquarters.

“Uh,” you scrunched up your nose. “Give me thirty minutes?”

You didn’t leave until an hour later, Sirius still asleep on the couch and the other two pouring over defensive spells to practice. Lily clasped your hand as the two of you apparated away.

The ground disappeared from under you and suddenly reappeared, shiny hardwood floors replaced with dingy old ones. Lily stumbled a little beside you. You eyed her, her pale face twisted from nausea and tinged a faint green.

“Lily, I actually wanted to ask you something.” Her eyes were wide as she turned to you, though you were already moving across the room and offering her a rubbish bin. She took it, a grateful and sheepish expression on her face, as though she wasn’t sure if she would end up puking or not. Candles lined the space, adding additional light to the small window. You breathed a sigh of relief. The two of you were safe here, and potions were something you understood better than any other.

The walls were lined with used and unused bottles, ingredients in large glass jars, and bubbling cauldrons. Vapor from the potions spilled out along the floor, seeming to wrap around the legs of the tables before dissipating. You hummed as you looked from the potion of pain relief you’d been brewing.

The sound of gagging drew your eyes to Lily, and just a few moments later, she was vomiting into the container. Her eyes watered as she chucked up her breakfast, grimacing at the acidic feeling in her throat. You offered a look of sympathy and a little bag you'd packed just in case something like this happened.

“It’s so gross.”

You can’t help but snort at her dejected words, intentionally ignore her pointed glare.

“Take this.” After pressing a vial into her palm (a stomach soother that had been used by pregnant witches for ages), you begin to gather up all the supplies you’ll need to perform a pregnancy test. You wanted to get this done privately, without the boys hounding you or anyone else noticing.

Lily frowned as you closed and locked the door, motioning for her to take a seat at the large table you’d set up everything on.

“So I have a feeling,” you’d have to broach the topic carefully. A child, in times like these? You were losing a magical war because the Order of the Phoenix refused to fight dirty—not that you would ever say that aloud. But to bring a baby into the world with no certainty that you’d be alive to see them grow? Lily had once mentioned to you that she did want kids. That she’d wanted to be a mother.

You didn’t necessarily share the same sentiment, though you knew the risks of unprotected sex just the same as anyone else. Luck has been on your side up until now.

“I think you’re pregnant.” Time stopped.

Lily’s lips parted and she seemed to be frozen, though the frantic look in her eyes was enough to tell you she hadn’t. You reached across the wooden surface of the table and grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers. She squeezed back, green eyes glazed.

Her cheeks flushed and you moved around the table to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Are you sure? It could just be stress-“

You raised a brow, motioning to the items before you. There was a chance it was simply a scare. It couldn’t hurt to test it, though the implications threatened to make your heart explode.

“What if…” Her voice was thick with something you couldn’t place.

“It doesn’t matter. It could be a scare, but even if it isn’t, we’ve got time to figure it out.”

Her messy braid bobbed as she nodded, though her face remained dazed. You sighed, running a finger along the shape of her arm. Goosebumps followed your finger but Lily ignored it. With most situations, she’d shake off how she felt and put on a brave face, but a baby was throwing her off more than she must’ve been prepared for.

“Let’s just see, yeah?”

Lily grimaced in discomfort as the two of you apparated back home, trembling with nervous energy. Her free hand and fingers were constantly flexing beside her, eyes still as glazed as they were several hours ago. The only difference now was the way her hand would occasionally drift to her belly, then drop back down as though she was afraid it somehow wasn’t real. You squeezed the hand you were holding, tugging her into you and wrapping your other arm around her shoulders.

“Lils, I’m gonna need you to calm down, yeah? Everything is gonna be fine.” She huffed, but all you could do was grin. Anything was better than the state of shock she’d seemingly gone into. Maybe if you hadn’t been so caught up in the woman before you, you’d have noticed the morose atmosphere of the place you called home.

She squeezed you tighter.

“You promise?” A breath of laughter escaped you before you responded with, “Of course.”

You broke apart, light finally entering her eyes again. A gentle, happy smile crossed her lips. There was movement in another room, but you paid it no mind as you crossed the living room floor, the potion bottles in your bag clinking together. Following a positive pregnancy test, you’d spent much of your time decanting multiple potions while Lily began to brew new ones. She didn’t seem to mind whenever you checked over her work to make sure she did it right.

“James?”

You heard muffled voices down the hall, but it was the lack of response that had you pausing and drawing your wand. Lily did the same.

The two of you pressed forward through the house, apprehension coiling in your gut. Had someone found you all? Were the boys alright? Were they hurt?

You rounded the hallway, entering the only lit bedroom with a resigned face. If they were hurt, or god forbid, dead, what were you going to do? The thought was pushed away as soon as it entered your mind. No, they weren’t dead.

It was the sob that alerted you to something wrong, something that perhaps didn’t involve Death Eaters torturing your husbands. The door swung open to reveal a blotchy faced Sirius, still devastatingly beautiful with his watery grey eyes. James knelt beside him, rubbing a comforting hand on his thigh as Remus half-held him.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

James opened his mouth as if to speak, but was cut off by both Sirius’ glare and voice.

“I’m fine.”

You sighed, pocketing your wand and shooing the boys away. Lily fidgeted, unstable in the emotional whiplash of the last twenty-four hours, and you grabbed James’ arm.

“Lily wants to make a cake. Help her?” He nodded, sending one last distraught look towards his husband before exiting the room with Remus and Lily in tow. You turned back to the raven haired man.

“I thought we promised not to lie to each other anymore.”

He ran a hand over his face, wiping away the tears that streaked down his cheeks. Something lit up in his eyes. A fire you knew well, too well, perhaps. You raised a brow at the anger that rose up within him.

“You weren’t here. Do you have any idea what it was like to wake up after last night and see that you were gone?” Your eyes softened and you moved to sit next to him. He flinched away from you. “I thought I’d made up the whole thing, thought maybe you’d actually died and I had fooled myself into thinking you were real.”

“‘M right here, Siri. I’m alive, and breathing.” He shook his head, shaggy curls frantically moving as he did so. Each of you deserved better than this, you thought. None of it was fair.

“You almost weren’t.” You nodded. Nothing you could say would change the fact that you jumped into harm’s way to protect James. You’d do it again in a heartbeat, though you knew for a fact they would hate to hear that. Sirius picked at the skin by his nails, prying at already inflamed and tender skin.

“Love,” you wrapped a hand over Sirius’ trembling fingers. His expression continued to flash between anger and distress, tears lining his eyes. He kept his gaze on your joined hands. Pots and pans were clinking in the kitchen, punctuated occasionally by Remus’ soft laughter. You glanced out the open door.

“You can be as angry as you want with me, but you’re not allowed to push me away.”

He leaned his head back, swallowing hard. Silence stretched. You let it, focusing on the steady drum on your heartbeat and breath. Sirius fell into your breathing pattern.

With a low, hoarse whisper, Sirius turned to you. “I can’t lose any of you.”

You sighed, opening your arms and drawing him close. He pressed his face into your neck, cold nose pressing against your warm skin. You hummed and threaded your fingers through his hair.

“I promise to do what I can to keep myself alive.”

As you attempted to move, he gripped onto your coat, fingers tight on the dark wool blend. It proved a struggle to get up with him latched onto you, but you managed. The two of you shuffled down the hall towards the kitchen. Remus had pushed James away in favor of helping Lily mix up the ingredients, bumping hips every few minutes and exchanging soft smiles. James pouted off to the side, likely exiled due to his overeager attitude towards anything kitchen related.

Nearly all the prep work had been done already, and you shared a knowing look with Lily. Leftovers from the day before would be eaten tonight, finished off with a cake you’d decorate to let the boys know they’d be fathers. Lily seemed infatuated with the idea, and after convincing you she insisted on using blue frosting in the middle. You sighed against Sirius, leaning into his body. The great thing about magic was you were able to see what the sex of the baby was far earlier. Lily’s gasp and subsequent teary eyes had you agreeing to just about anything.

You discarded your coat along with your bag of potion vials, gently tossing it over the side of James’ favorite armchair, shuffling next to the man. Sirius remained by you, clinging to your form. James wrapped an arm over your shoulders, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. You buried your face into his chest. The three of you stayed there, wrapped up in each other, as Remus and Lily finished stirring the box cake mixture and poured it into the pan. Remus dropped it gently back into the counter, hoping to remove any bubbles. The oven’s soft beep let you know that it was ready. Your heart turned gooey warm and soft at the sight of Remus putting the cake into the oven and turning to wrap his arms around Lily.

“Heat up the food, would you?” Lily directed the request towards your trio, settling into Remus’ warmth. Sirius huffed beside you. He complied with little complaints, exhausted from the day he’d had. You melted further into James’ side.

Dinner was a quiet affair.

The lot of you spent most of your time actually enjoying the food you’d previously rushed through eating, comfortable silence broken only by the quiet noise coming from the radio. At some point, Remus got up to take the cake out of the oven, setting it on a hot pad to cool.

You glanced at Lily as James asked, “How were the potions?”

She paused, taking a sip of water as her green eyes flickered between the both of you. You sighed.

“It was fine. I got my next batch of pain killers bottled.” James nodded along. Sirius narrowed his eyes at Lily before looking at you expectantly. You shrugged, choosing to get up to check on the cake. You patted Remus’ shoulder as you went. “Anyone fancy a cuppa?”

[servicpop]

kinktober extra — gun play leon s. kennedy x bttm male reader

ⓘ neighbour (slight ooc) leon ! clothed leon naked reader ! he puts the gun up your ass

The outbreak was doing you no good, and the fact that you were all alone when all went to hell wasn't helping much either. However, being locked in the safety of your home gave you time to hideout while the worst washed over. Though eventually, you were forced outside to scavenge for food. Unlocking your front door as delicate as tip toeing around a sleeping lion, you quietly stepped outside the comfort of your home.

You were fortunate enough to be greeted with desolate streets; only the occasional ripped up paper or trash rolled across the ground. You had almost nothing, not even a gun, just a baseball bat you bought awhile ago to play with your friends once, only to never touch it again until now. At least you took the time to impale nails to add a little more offense to your weapon.

After some soft crunching of gravel under your feet and walking through eerily quiet roads, you were met with a convenience store. The neon signs were busted and didn't glow anymore but you were able to make out some un-raided shelves behind the shattered windows.

You pushed on the front door, the quiet jingle of the door opening made you jump out your skin for a second, why'd the bell still work despite everything else being broken? You tried to keep your footsteps light, navigating around the fallen shelves and racks on the floor. Seeing a few canned foods still untouched and packets of chips as well as some beverages, you felt a twinge of relief wash over you. This was probably enough for you to not go outside for a few weeks.

You decided to walk behind the register, searching for some candy or others that would be stocked there. With no luck your eyes met the employees only door, slightly ajar. Clutching your bat in your right hand, you slowly opened the door before you were met with a light tap on your forehead. A gun, held by a blonde man who seemed to have seen it all.

“A survivor? I feel like its been ages since I've seen another living human being,” He sighed, lowering his weapon and pulling you into the room by your arm. You felt him pause abruptly once getting a good look at your face and you blinked away your initial fear upon having a gun pointed to your head.

“Oh, you're my neighbour aren't you?” The corners of Leon's lips twitched into a slight curve but not enough to be counted as a wholehearted smile.

“Leon? I thought everyone in the neighbourhood turned,” You on the other hand couldn't help but smile seeing a familiar face after fully believing you were the only human left on earth. You take a small glance around the room, noting the equipment stuffed into one corner and a makeshift sleeping bag as well as a first aid kit that had been visibly used.

You knew he was an agent from having small chats over the fence, and from the looks of things, even those who undergo arduous training suffered — even if it was a little bit more bearable for them than others.

Leon's grip eventually loosens and he turns his back to you as he walks to the far wall, sliding down against it into a seated position. From here, the bandaged up gash on his side peeks out from the rips of his shirt. That's why the glass was as broken as it was, it was a sign of Leon's fight with the undead.

Following in his footsteps you go to sit down beside him, pulling your knees to your chest as you turn to look at him. His eyebags have never been darker and there's a frown that stains his face. Leon breaks the silence while pulling his knee up to rest his arm on it, his gun clacking as he moved.

“So, it's just you?” He questions, and you can hear the awkwardness in his voice. He's never been a good talker, everytime you met him while on a walk thr conversations usually ended with a quick excuse to pull away from it. You blame it on him having to see more horrors than the average person.

“Is that a bad thing?” You mean it in a playful way, placing your hands over your knees as a cushion for your cheek to rest on. You almost burst out laughing when you see Leon tense and you can practically see the panic that he's offended you in his eyes.

“No— No, not at all,” he tries to defend himself.

“Would you rather that flower girl who lives down the street?” It's a running joke that the neighbourhood shares of Leon that the big, cold agent is in love with the soft, florist girl.

He shoots you a glare, one that shows just how many times he's heard it over and over again. Instead of replying, he turns his head with a scoff like a bunny stomping its foot angrily. You brush it off as well after seeing his lack of a response and your eyes draw to the gun that's still held firmly in Leon's hand. It would be handy for you to learn how to use one since the bat won't always be useful.

“Do you think you could maybe teach me how to use that?” You ask almost hesitantly, fiddling with your fingers in a nervous habit.

“The gun?” Leon questions, tilting the gun so he could look at it properly. One part of him doesn't want you to use it, it creates an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach seeing a guy like you hold such a murderous weapon. The other part knows it's for the best, for your own protection when he has to part ways with you. After a minute of just staring at the gun, he finalises his decision.

“Sure, I guess you'll need it in the future,” he groans as he stands back up, hand on his thigh like he was an old man getting up from his rocking chair. He tousels his wispy blonde hair, combing it back with his fingers before focusing his attention on you.

His thick black eyelashes flutter as he stares at your face for a second, walking up to you and caging your hands in his. He guides your hands to the pistol, letting you feel the cold metal to familiarise yourself. He doesn't say a thing while he lets you feel the barrel and the grip. The grip feels almost scratchy which he lightly scoffs at your expression when your fingers ghosted over the texture.

“That's why my hands are all calloused,” he faces his palm up, showing you his toughened palm while he flexes his fingers.

“You have to hold it like this, firm grip, two hands.” Leon helps to guide your hands in place, adjusting your fingers and your wrist.

He whispers under his breath “Just like that,” watching as you hold the gun straight, aiming at the blank wall. You know it's best not to fire, though, that would attract whatever monster lays outside. The gun trembles, shaking like a stripped leaf, and you realise that your hands are quivering. You're not cut out for this. You feel the weight of Leon's hand lower the gun and he gently slips the weapon away from your hands and into his.

“You have to get desensitised to it, who knows what might happen without me,” Leon's eyebrows furrow and his nose creases from the pure thought of you getting captured and held at gun-point. It wasn't far from what could actually happen either considering the law was disregarded the moment people started eating eachothers brains.

Leon raises the pistol and presses the muzzle to your adams apple, feeling it bob from your swallows.

“Does it scare you?” It's not a threatening statement, it's him asking how you really feel having the gun pressed up against your skin. The hitch of your breath goes unnoticed as Leon drags the pistol lower to your chest. With the way he's looking down, you can see his dark eyelashes, a sliver of his muted blue iris' peeked through. He really was handsome.

“Or is it because you trust me that much?” The question jolts you out of your little trance, he was only your neighbour yet you didn't seem to react in fear when he held the gun to you.

“Maybe,” you breath out, letting your gaze flutter to the pistol dragging down your chest. Leon pulls it away before bringing it up and tapping the flat side of the barrel against your cheek. There's a certain look in his eyes, its almost pitiful like a hunter watching the deer caught in the net lay completely still, unfazed.

Leon leans closer to your face, his nose practically brushing against yours. You could almost make out the faint breaths if you listened close enough and you see his tongue dart out to wet his lips before he swallowed thickly.

“I think you're liking this a little too much,” he mutters, tilting his head slightly to the right as he looks down at you, his hair falling to the direction he moves his head at. The way Leon speaks now is hushed, sultry even. He's only half joking, he sees the way your eyelids flicker a little too rapidly when he glides the muzzle over your clothes.

Your face flushes, realising that he's caught on your little inner turmoil.

“It's just the adrenaline.” You swallow your lie like it's medication; it's hard to go unnoticed when you so obviously gulp. It's not fully a lie though — you've read in a previous article things like erections can happen due to adrenaline. You squeeze your eyes shut, almost like you're preparing to be scolded by Leon.

But all you're met with is a small sigh and a shake of his head.

“If you want it, do it quickly, we won't have time to indulge in distractions in the heat of things.” Your eyes fling open, caught off guard by the fact that the Leon, your neighbour, just gave you the greenlight. You look up at him through your lashes and he returns your gaze with a small glint of reciprocating desire. The absence of an opportunity for sex really catches up when you're surrounded by infected and never in a safe position.

Before you can even say anything, Leon is already slipping off your shirt; your jacket had already been discarded when you entered the employee's only room. He takes a moment to skim over your naked body, observing all the dips and curves, and the fact that your blush reaches all the way down to your shoulders. He brushes the muzzle over your chest, and upon seeing you shiver at the coolness, a smirk quirks on his lips.

“Cold?”

“Yeah,”

You whine, gripping his forearm in a lousy attempt to stop him from rubbing the metal on your nipple. It doesn't stop him though, he gently grazes your perky buds, chuckling softly as he watches your eyebrows knit from the feeling.

“Sorry then,” he hums with amusement coloring his tone. Leon's breath becomes shallower as he trails the gun down along the line in the middle of your abdomen, all the way down to your pants.

“You're going to be the death of me,” He grunts out, delicately guiding you to lean against the wall. His arm is wrapped so securely around your back like a warm embrace. The warmth of his arm around your bare back shields you from the frigid material of the wall but the second he slips it away from you your back arches off uncomfortably.

“Bare it,” Leon pushes you back against the wall and you whimper at the cold. Its somewhat cruel how he's doing this but you understand its to get your body used to the harsh changes in environments. He mumbled small praises that are inaudible to your ears but you can barely make out the words 'good boy.'

His fingers tug at your zipper, pulling it down but you reach out to stop him, noticing how he's not taking any of his clothes off. Like he was reading your mind, Leon scoffs with a small smirk.

“I can't, it's too risky to have to put anything on if we get ambushed,” He links his fingers underneath the elastic waistband of your boxers, stretching it out a bit before pulling them down to rest at your mid thigh.

“But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself,” He places one arm at the side of your head, caging it in, and his other weilds the pistol. He can't take off his clothes so he can't fuck you properly but he resorts to using his gun instead. It's shameless with the way he's spreading the soft flesh of your thighs apart with a gun like he was slotting his dick between them.

His eyes aren't on you, they're on your body, carefully sliding the hunk of metal against your hole. It almost hurts with how dry and cold the metal feels against your skin but you don't complain. Leon muses when he sees your cock twitch when he slides the muzzle up from the base to your pink tip. He quirks an eyebrow at you, finally lifting his eyes to meet yours.

“Feels weird doesn't it? Promise once we're out of this shithole I'll give you everything you want,” Again, Leon goes off about something in the future. He's thinking of a future with you after things smooth over, you can't help but bite back the small moan you were going to let out. His bangs are now covering his eyes when he returns his gaze to your lower half.

Your hips instinctively move against the barrel of the gun, sliding yourself against it. Its like the pleasure is almost there but not really, its left you struggling to find good friction. Leon notices your strangled whines and contorted face and he feels slightly guilty for not being able to give you the relief you definitely need.

He spits on the gun, lubing it up and taking a mental note to polish and clean it afterwards. Leon tilts the muzzle up, wriggling it past your tight rim. When the tip of gun enters you, you gasp, straightening your body from the foreign object being stuffed in your ass.

“Leon—” your voice cracks.

“Trust me.”

He can hear the slight panic in your voice and his palm moves to cover your eyes. You're squirming, unsure of whether to lean in or pull away from the sensation. He pushes himself up against you to keep you still since his hands are already full. Leon groans gently at how much warmth he can feel seeping into his clothes from your body heat.

He slowly pushes the gun further, tuning into the soft squelching sounds of the metal making its way through your walls. Leon couldn't deny that he was a bit jealous of how his pistol was able to feel your wet walls clenching around it rather than himself.

“Shit, you're taking it better than I thought,” He grumbled under his breath, thrusting the metal into you, attempting to push it even deeper to find your sweet spot. Leon finally moved his hands from your eyes and placed his hand on your waist, extending his thumb to rub circles over your stomach. He twists the gun inside you, flushing against your prostate. The sudden jolt of pleasure caused you to cry out and reach to grab his shoulders.

He pushed against your prostate a few times, observing how your eyes would water with each thrust and how your teeth would bite down even harder on your bottom lip the more he hit that specific spot. He slowly pulled the gun fully out with a small pop.

“Didn't know that would work,” He joked lightly, slotting the gun between your legs once more and squeezing your thighs together. He threw the gun from one hand into the other, gripping the pistol in his left hand. Leon slid his ring and middle finger alongside your ass, dipping down the curve to meet your already stretched hole. He dipped his fingers inside, already burying his fingers up to his knuckles.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you, curling his fingers up to press against the deepest parts of you. Leon dragged the gun back and forth between your thighs, letting you hump the metal like a dog.

“Attaboy,” he chuckled darkly, moving his fingers faster, practically slapping his palm against your tail bone as he fingered you from behind. Pre-cum started to bead off your slit and smeared all over Leon's gun.

“You're already getting so wet,” he shook his head, feigning disappointment as he moved the gun to trace your tip, ghosting over your skin.

You whined and thrashed from the ticklish sensation, but when you tried to lean away from it, you ended up pushing up against Leon's fingers, letting them reach even deeper.

“Leon,” you mewl, gripping his shoulders desperately as your dick twitches feverishly. “'M gonna cum.”

Your soft whimpers undoubtedly got his dick hard and he swore if you kept up with the whining he'd really just take off his pants and fuck the life out of you. Leon didn't respond, he just swallowed a groan and curled his fingers to your prostate.

Feeling that familiar spark in your veins, your body convulsed and you let out a high-pitched moan, blanking out as you shot ropes of cum out, dirtying Leon's gun with white.

“I got you, I got you, don't worry,” He felt your legs give out and quickly caught you, letting you lean on him while you came down from your high. Leon pulled the gun from your legs, turning it side to side and watching as your semen dripped down the sides.

Would it even work anymore?

[lex-the-flex]

Misty Mornings

Origins!Logan Howlett x reader

Summary: On this particular morning, Logan is in need of a shave, and you’re more than happy to take on the job.

Word Count: 650

Warning(s): None, PURE FLUFF! (Cause Logan deserves it). A tiny amount of nervousness.

A/N: If I had a man that would let me do this, I’d be his forever. (Basically a MEGA GREEN FLAG) Feedback is appreciated and enjoy!

The low coo of multiple mourning doves echo across the woods lingering beyond your backyard. The strong scent of the early morning lake balances itself against the soft and subtle fog hovering over the calm water as the morning sun threatens to break the cool air. Pulling your knitted blanket closer, a calm breeze welcomes the ambiance and colors of Autumn to the secluded place you call home. 

Being fully engrossed in your novel, you don’t hear Logan walking down the dock. Turning the page, the creaking sound of the wooden deck brings you back to reality.

“Baby?” He asks. 

“Hi, Lo.” You respond. 

Closing your book, you stand up to greet Logan with a warm hug. Extending on your toes, he briefly presses a kiss to your forehead. 

“What are you doing out here? You’ll catch a cold.” Logan replies. 

“It’s not snowing yet, babe. Trust me.” You smile, before reaching down to pick up your book. 

Offering his hand to you, you close your palm around Logan’s fingers as he leads you back towards the elegant two storied cabin. Folding your blanket, you throw it on the back of an armchair along with your book. 

Following Logan into the kitchen, you hop up on the granite countertop, and he turns on the coffee pot. Gazing up at Logan, you hum to yourself at the sight before you. 

“What is it?” He asks with a sly grin. 

“Nothin’. I’m just not used to you ever being in the kitchen. It’s still strange to me.” You explain. 

“Oh, yeah? And how long have we been together?” Logan questions, walking to you. 

Placing both of his hands on either side of your hips, you tilt your head backwards and wrap your arms around his large shoulders. Smiling, the two of you just gaze at each other lovingly for a moment, silently enjoying the peace. 

Running your fingers through Logan’s thick dark hair, he lightly chuckles when you move onto his slightly overgrown beard. 

“Hmm, you need to shave.” You firmly state, tickling his scruff. 

“Is that a threat, darlin’?” He teases. 

“Maybe… Will you let me trim your beard this time? Please?” You ask. 

Determined to get an answer, Logan finally agrees, ultimately losing the never-ending battle. 

Leaving you in the kitchen, Logan shortly returns with his shaving kit. Placing it on the counter next to you, he unzips the small leather pouch and takes out a pair of scissors. Handing them to you, Logan carefully returns his hands to your hips, eager to see what you’ll do. Softly cutting off pieces of your lover’s beard, you suddenly become focused on the task at hand, unaware of Logan’s loving and intrigued stare. 

HIs light hazel eyes glance deeply along the edges of your face, studying the details of your focused state. Unconsciously wrapping your legs around Logan’s waist, he slowly pulls you closer, wanting to be more intimate. Your heart begins to pound in your chest, nearing the end of your task. 

“I”m almost done, babe.” You whisper, flicking away the remnants of his beard. 

Finishing up, you set down the scissors and wipe Logan’s freshly trimmed jawline. 

“There you go, you’re all nice and clean.” You reply. 

“Mmm, thank you, Y/N. It feels so much better already. You should imagine it.” Logan teases. 

Lowering his lips to the nape of your neck, Logan playfully kisses the soft skin of your neck. Allowing you to feel the fresh scruff tickle you, a smile creeps on his lips whilst a gentle moan escapes your mouth. 

“Okay, cowboy… le–” You try, but can’t. 

Unable to push Logan away, you find yourself craving his touch even more. Tangling your fingers in his thick hair, his mouth searches for yours. Kissing you passionately, your fingers grip Logan’s strong muscles whilst he lifts you from the counter and carries you deeper into the house. 

wolverine masterlist ~

@dreamliners

@chronicallybubbly

@dontfeedthebigbadwolf

@the-resident-vampire

@ovaryacted

@misssarcasm15

@yellow-eyed-sams-wife

@lost-in-horrorland

@peterparkernotfound

@pcrushinnerd

@quillycrow

@till-hes-90

@the-moth-archives

@stilllivindue2spite

@wolviesgal

@mostly-marvel-musings

[pathologicalreid]

don't get dark | s.r.

in which you disclose an attack to Spencer, and he assures you he's not going anywhere

margotober

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: making out, sexual assault, police, mandated reporting, rohypnol, hospitals, rape kit, legalese, panic attack, spencer's pov word count: 1.93k a/n: i hope you don't mind i combined two requests here! do not let the beginning fool you this is angst! please read with care!!

Pulling you closer to him, Spencer’s breathing hitched as you moved your legs around him, straddling his waist as you lazily rested on him, your lips remaining on his even as you moved. When you finally went up for air, he took the opportunity to litter small kisses on your cheek and jawline until you went back for more.

Gently settling his hands on your hips, he hummed into you as your tongue slipped into his mouth, you reached up and wove one hand into his hair, the other lying flat over his collarbone.

Carefully, his hands slipped beneath the fabric of your sweatshirt, the warmth of your skin radiating beneath the cotton as he wished it were possible to physically fuse himself to another person. To you.

He inched his hands further up, slowly dragging his fingertips over your waist when goosebumps spread all over your skin and you sat up. Propping himself up on his elbows, he looked at you, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, but he could hear you. He heard your breathing quicken and instinctively turned to flick on his bedside lamp.

You sat beside him, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes while you tried to catch your breath. Hesitantly, he reached out and set a hand on your bare knee, “Honey,” he whispered, but he wasn’t sure if you could hear him.

In response, you shook your head—just once—“I’m sorry,” you rasped, your voice crisp from hyperventilating. “I’m sorry,” you repeated, “I just need a second.”

With only your breathing to keep him company, Spencer watched as you miserably tried to keep yourself together by clutching at your sweatshirt, wrapping it around yourself, applying pressure to what seemed like an open wound.

Timidly, he sat next to you on the bed, placing one arm around your shoulders – mindful not to touch any of your bare skin—and he reached for your hand, taking it in his and bringing it up to his chest, placing your hand over his heart. He bit his tongue to stop himself from explaining what he was doing, afraid his words might scare you off.

There are some studies that show things like physical contact can cause a somatic reaction in heart rates, so by holding your hand to my heart, I’m hoping I can help your pulse level out. Your heart is beating so fast. I’ve never seen you like this.

Your palm was clammy, he felt the heat gathering over his heart, and he couldn’t get himself to move, taking slow, deep breaths while hoping you would follow in kind. He wondered if your fingers were tingling from hyperventilating. If he could get you to lift your head, you might have an easier time calming down.

He couldn’t pretend like he didn’t recognize the signs. It was as if there were an alarm going off in his brain, the part of him that never fully left work at work looked at you and he just knew. The hardest part was forcing himself not to draw his own conclusions, to not call at the profiler in him that seemed like second nature at this point. Were there other signs? Things from the past that he hadn’t connected. Could he have prevented this deterioration?

Lifting your head up, you took a deep, shaking breath and your entire body trembled as you pulled your hand back to your side. “I’m sorry,” You echoed again, apologizing unnecessarily to cover up your false sense of guilt.

“Can I get anything for you?” He spoke gently, keeping his voice even so he didn’t startle you.

You sniffled, tears streamed down your face as your jaw slackened and you shook your head, but he got up and went to the living room anyway, retrieving the glass of water that had been abandoned on the coffee table when the two of you moved to the bedroom.

As he watched you struggle with something vicious in your own mind, he wanted nothing more than to put his arms around you. Better yet, he wanted to wrap you in bubble wrap – anything to protect you.

With the glass of water in hand, you folded your legs beneath yourself, trying to make yourself seem smaller. “I have a scar,” you mumbled, holding your free hand to your side, the same place his hand had been not so long ago.

“You don’t have to,” he insisted, you didn’t owe him an explanation. You didn’t owe anyone an explanation.

You waved him off, “Did you know that rape victims are more likely to comply if their attacker has a knife as opposed to a gun? You would know that I guess. That’s like your whole thing at work.” You flinched like something was hurting you, “I didn’t know that until I was attacked. With a knife.”

And just like that, the other ball had dropped.

“I have a scar,” You repeated, eyes wide, pupils dilated, the fear of a memory emanating off of you. “It felt like one of those things, you always hear about it happening to somebody else and you never think it could happen to you.”

Until it does, Spencer thought. He had heard it so many times. He had even felt that way himself. He wanted to tell you that you could stop, but his lips parted, and his mouth felt so dry, and he realized he had no idea where to start. “You’re safe here with me,” he tried, his voice soft. All he wanted to do was help.

At that, you looked over at him, and you shifted again, hugging your knees to your chest and resting your cheek on your knee, “You see it now,” you murmured, “I can see it, in your face. You’re connecting dots.”

You were right, he was thinking about every sign he might have brushed off. This was it. This was why you never went out when you were invited. You’d go to every dinner party at Rossi’s and lunch with JJ, but you never accepted offers to go to a bar, always claiming something had come up. “You don’t need to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with,” he reminded you.

Waving him off, you closed your eyes again, “I know, but I figure if there was ever anyone for me to talk to about this, it’d be you. Therapy only gets you so far, having someone who fully understands why you’re the way you are it’s… incomparable.”

Spencer had wanted to understand you, to know you as well as he knew himself, if not better, but he hadn’t realized the price it would come at.

“I remember the first time I was taught about rape. Sitting in high school health class and being taught how to avoid it, I thought I did everything right. It’s true, you know. Rohypnol has no taste, no smell, and no color,” you lamented, rubbing your palms nervously over your legs.

Pinching his brow, Spencer searched for something adequate to say, “Did you report it?” His first question.

Shaking your head solemnly, you looked at him, “I had… I went to the hospital and- Oh my god,” you said, suddenly panicked over a revelation. “Do you have to report this to someone? Are you mandated to report this because of your job?”

“No,” Spencer answered quickly. “I’m not telling anyone. None of this information will leave this room,” he assured you. He’d die before betraying that trust.

Your breathing had sped up again, and Spencer tried to get you to drink more water. He kept his distance from you, the two of you seated on opposite sides of the bed. “I was more scared about what people would think than getting myself justice, and I just… I met with an officer. He told me I could wait. I just… don’t really talk to my college friends anymore.”

So, you hadn’t told your friends about what had happened. There had to have been only a handful of people you trusted with this—it simultaneously crushed and comforted him. “If you ever decide that you want to, I’ll support you, but if that time never comes, then I’ll support you in that too.” There would be plenty of time for you to make up your mind, you had years until the statute of limitations was up.

Then, your face crumpled, almost as if his words had flipped some kind of switch and you were letting something go. Some venom that had swirled in your body was finally being released, “I thought— I thought—,” you babbled, letting tension release as Spencer reached out for you.

You limply followed along as he guided you up the bed, “I’ve got you,” he whispered, letting you rest your head on his chest, smoothing your hair back as he continued shushing you.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore,” you cried.

It was a miracle to him that someone like you even existed, someone who managed to brighten his world despite all of the darkness that existed, “Never.” He’d take this to his grave, one next to you, if you will it.

You sighed, your entire body deflating on top of his, “I don’t wear anything that shows my side because the questions are too much,” you told him, tapping your index finger on his chest. “I can’t be around drunk people, and I know you don’t really drink,” you murmured thoughtfully. “Maybe it doesn’t matter,” you maundered.

“No,” he said, “This is good. You should tell me where the lines are,” the last thing he’d want would be to cross any of your boundaries.

Lifting your head slightly, you rested your chin on him so you could get a better look at him, “Sometimes I don’t know where the lines are until they’re being toed,” you admitted. “I know that I’m an adult and I should just be able to figure it out, but any time I start to think about it I just go dark. Have you ever had that?”

Swallowing thickly, Spencer nodded, “I understand, but just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you need to have all of the answers. Any time you go dark, you can just come into the light – with me.”

“That was cheesy,” you told him, a small smile sprouting on your face in spite of yourself.

He didn’t care, he’d be as cheesy as humanly possible if it meant putting a smile on your face. “If you ever need anything from me, to be taken out of a situation, anything, all you have to do is ask, and I’m there.”

You hummed thoughtfully, resting your cheek on his chest again, he wondered if you were listening to his heartbeat, if the steady thumping of his heart served as a comfort to you. “Spence?” You whispered.

“Yeah?” He answered, matching your volume level.

Tracing a heart over his sweater with your index finger, you shifted slightly, “Can I stay here tonight?”

He was grateful you asked because he desperately didn’t want to let you go, “Of course, any time.” Whenever you wanted to be here, you were welcome.

“Can we leave the light on?” You asked, your voice barely audible.

Gently rubbing small circles on your back, Spencer nodded even though you couldn’t see, “Yes,” he breathed, continuing his movements even after your breathing evened out, your nostrils whistling as you slept.

He watched the ceiling fan spin above the two of you, waiting for sleep to take him too.