#My stomach wasn't very happy abt that

[etherealyoungk]

u said soft hours and i RUSHED. very self indulgent but thoughts abt wonwoo w sick partner :(((

AXEE MY LOVE here you go!

you woke up with a heavy and hot head and a bad cough but you didn't tell wonwoo you were sick. he had enough on his plate already with work and you didn't want to add to his stress. so when you texted jeonghan asking if he could drop by with some medicines you didn't think he'd tell wonwoo about it. you were surprised when you saw wonwoo at your doorstep with your medicine instead of jeonghan. and wonwoo, well he wasn't happy.

"wonwoo what are you doing here? i thought you had an important meeting and schedules?", you ask meekly as he steps in before you start coughing. "how can i be at work when you're sick", he fills in as he gently tries to rub your back to help ease up your coughing.

"let's get you back to bed", he tells and he catches you off guard by picking you up bridal style as he carries you to bed, laying you down carefully. "wonwoo! i can walk", you tell. "and you should rest", he tells.

he'll be so attentive to you when you are sick. he's making you tea and always refilling your mug with hot water or some warm honey water to help ease your cough and sore throat. he'll sit with you in bed and indulge in a silly rom-com with you. even if you tell him to sit a few feet apart, he's not listening, assuring you that he wouldn't catch your cold, no matter how many times you told him.

he'd cook you a simple meal of whatever you wanted and if you wanted ramen he'd give you a side eye, telling you all that spice wasn't good for your stomach right now, as he made you something else to eat. even if you had a small scowl because of that, it was replaced with a grateful smile when he presented you with a hearty bowl of chicken soup.

in the night he'd make sure you were all bundled up and warm enough because it was really cold. "are you trying to drown me?", you asked, seeing the number of blankets wonwoo was putting on you. "i'll just become a burrito at this rate", you joke. "don't want a frozen burrito now i do", he teases and you snort before coughing again. he brings you another cup of warm honey tea and you sip on it, feeling slightly better.

"was it okay that you missed work?", you ask as you're tucked in bed, wonwoo sitting beside you as he hands you your medicine, holding a glass of water for you to take. "anything for you", he replies. "i'm sorry", you add, suddenly feeling bad. "hey hey, don't be. i would have come running any day, any time if i heard you were sick. i just wish you'd told me", he explains. "i know...i just didn't want to bother you, you've been busy enough", you tell softly and he envelops his arms around you, bringing you in for a hug as he kisses your temple. "i'm always here you love, no matter what", he assures and you smile softly. "thank you woo", you tell.

taglist: @daisycheols @weird-bookworm @idubiluv @qaramu @n4mj00nvq

[dark-night-hero]

i love the imagine u wrote where zhongli would give us up for the world 🥹🥹 and it got me thinking:

what if the reader gets incarnated to the current timeline we have and meets zhongli again? they don’t have the past memories but somehow zhongli feels familiar for them. Z thinks this era is the right time for him to take back the past and do things right so he spends time w them but he somehow finds out that reader has a lover (maybe another playable character). Z begins to asks questions abt their lover and idk how their convo would play out but I just imagine where reader gets a question where they answer with “i would give up the world for them (their lover)” and zhong is just hit with past memories and regrets wishing how he could have done things differently idk i j imagine it rly angsty 😭😭

Sorry to disturb but this has been on my mind i cant stop thinking abt it and i wanted to share 😭😭 Anyways, i look forward to more of ur works!! keep up the good work ur doing great 🥺🫶

: following zhongli (world > you)

Imagine how had Mor- Zhongli tried to get close to you, you who obviously was rather uncomfortable with his presence. And the only key to it was the traveller, the same old traveller that had help Liyue and Monstand and is now away on their venture in Inazuma. That being said, nowadays he had been keeping you company.

"You've been off since the departure of the Traveller." Zhongli spoke as he stand right beside you in the harbor.

"Really? I didn't notice." You have him a small smile.

"But I guess you're right, I've been missing the traveller so bad nowadays." You chuckle.

Imagine, at that very moment, Zhongli hoped he didn't not see you. Not when you're looking like that. Not when you're looking so soft, so lovely, obviously longing for someone, someone who definitely wasn't him.

Imagine the way his heart dropped to his stomach. The way his hand clenched around nothing before realising it. And after a few moments of silence.

"Do you.. Perhaps have feelings for the traveller?"

Imagine the way his voice shaken, obviously did go unnoticed by you. The way his amber iris were shaking, hoping and trying to deny reality as best as he can. He had hope for a chance. He knew this time, nothing can go wrong with the two of you. So he approached you, he tried to get close to you, he really did. But perhaps it was already too late, or was it? Did he even had a chance in this new persona he now possess?

"Honestly, I'm not sure myself." You chuckle.

"Or so I thought before the traveller left. Did you know? The traveller confessed to me, but Traveller also told me that they had so many things going on at the moment so.." As you look beyond the sea, you smile genuinely.

"I was wondering that in the world was the Traveller even thinking confessing and leaving me just like that, but now that I think about it. Its wasn't so bad."

Imagine the way you smile, the way your brush back your hair, trying to fix it upon the harsh breeze that have been messing with your hair earlier.

"If the world wants me dead, if the world see me as a threat, what would you do?"

"Huh?"

"What was the question that suddenly came into mind as soon as te Traveller confessed."

"What was the Traveller reply?"

Imagine the way you laugh, the way you smile genuinely as you recall the answer of that silly, adventurous, kind Traveller reply.

Imagine the way Zhongli kept staring at you, you who looked all refesh and happy, bright as you were before. Oh how much it hurts him he was no longer the reason why.

"How about a new world?"

"What?"

"I'll just have to take you to a new world. As you are already aware I wasn't from this world. All we have to do is to escape and find a new world where no one can take you away from me. Although my twin always somes first, I cannot afford to loose you, you know?"

"..." "(First name)? Are you o-?" "Pfff.."

"Did I say something funny?" "No.. hehe, I'm just.. I don't know." Was it relief that you felt?

Imagine the way you let out a sigh. Thinking about the Traveller only makes you miss them more. Perhaps you should have given the Traveller a reply back then but both of you agreed to put more thought into it and give them a reply upon coming back.

"Escape." It was just one word.

"I see." Zhongli replied, this time he looked away from you.

"If you don't mind me asking." "What is it?"

"If it's for the sake of the world, would you be willing to kill them?"

Imagine the way you once again let out a sigh, as you went quite only for a few moments, you face him and tug his sleeve.

"If that person meant the world for you, isn't that enough reason to be selfish?" You chuckle.

"Isn't a world without your beloved would only felt like a living hell?" You added as you never once look away from him.

"It goes on without saying that it's them over the world. That's how much they matter to me, that's how much I love them."

Imagine the way Zhongli chuckle and the way his lips form a bitter smile afterwards nevertheless, he agreed to you and eventually excuse himself. Leaving you all alone in the harbor, all waiting for the Traveller and not him. But it's alright, one way or another, he deserves this.

Imagine as Zhongli walks away from you, you stare at him and as you do so. He looks so lonely. But then you blink as a harsh breeze passes by, turning your look into the horizon, the sun was peacefully setting. How beautiful yet it left a bitter taste in your mouth in which you soon ignore.

"Escape huh."

Imagine, it's not like he did not think about it. But back then, the best choice was to kill you. But after hearing what you said, he starts to doubt if he did perhaps made a mistake, leaving regrets behind. After all, you were right. A world were he couldn't embrace you when you were right in front of him was like a living hell.

Imagine the way it was making him wonder if he was only a little bit selfish, if only he did not listen to the pleads of his people, his friends. If only he tried to find another way. If only he choses the other way. Would the two of you be happy and still together like you were back then?

He doesn't know, after all, those were the choices he didn't take. And this was the consequence he had to face.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

: I think I strayed away from what was asked. Crap, did I do this right?

[scoobysnakz]

1950's greaser Miguel 😭 that's that

a/n: i had something like this in my drafts i was so happy omg 😭 also im so sorry this took so long i ended up falling down several rabbit holes around 50’s culture for no reason whatsoever. idk how to feel abt this it’s rushed and not proof read at all!!! so sorry for any dumb mistakes

warnings: none really except maybe threats of violence and very poorly written angst bc i just cant handle it.

everyone had warned you to watch out for guys like Miguel- the loud, cocky ones that only think with their dick. but you’ve never been one to listen, not to overbearing second cousins and patronising aunts, anyway.

your ignorance to their advice doesn’t do much, though, because as much as you pretend, they’re right. he knows he could have any girl he wants, all he’d have to do is flash her that signature smirk, maybe wrap one of his toned arms around her waist, and they’re putty in his hands.

so why would he give you- the gut-wrenchingly awkward waitress at the diner him and his friends flood after work- the time of day ?

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

It's a peacefully slow day at the diner, booths just as empty as the tip jar and the counter bell unrung.

This would be the perfect opportunity to relax, count the cars passing by and try to work out if you can afford takeout for tea, but you are stuck talking to some random guy.

He's sweet enough, fairly attractive, and a large tipper. Hopefully, things don't get too difficult.

"So then I said to my buddy, Clarence. Y’know Clarence, sweetheart? Comes here twice a week with his wife on Tuesdays and then comes on Saturdays with his… lady friend?"

You internally grimace at his words. Your smile falters slightly but you fight to keep that forced, hospitality smile plastered on your face.

If working at this grimy diner has taught you anything it's that people like him don't want to see a strand of emotion other than flattery at their crude compliments.

"That wasn't a rhetorical question, darling.”

Your gaze snaps back to him, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly.

“Do. You. Know. Clarence?" he sounds much gruffer now, more stern.

Panicked, you shake your head a quick no.

You do know Clarence and he is even more pushy than this guy, always taking a not-so-conspicuous glance at your chest, 'accidentally' groping your ass.

Somehow, he knows you're lying and his expression hardens. "Don't lie to me, m'kay? I asked you a simple question and all you have to do is answer it for me."

The way his words are so slow to pass through his thin, leathery lips makes your stomach form knots.

You glance around the diner but there's no one else there, the very few people who had been there left the moment he came in.

Is there something you don't know? You've been working here for just over a month and you thought you knew all the inside secrets, the customers to flirt with to get the big tip, who to give extra sugar too because they're too nervous to ask for it themselves, which families will clean up after themselves. Obviously not.

The sticky brown tables are lined with half-eaten meals and a few bills that people left behind before running off.

You can hear the stove humming lowly in the kitchen and the man's heavy breathing accompanying it.

"I don't know who Clarence is, sir." your tone matches his, harsh and unwilling. It's nine forty-five on a Saturday and all you want is five minutes of sleep. "So either order something or leave. It's company policy.” you pick up a creased piece of laminated paper that says pretty much what you did but in a much more formal narrative.

His face contorts into a snarl as he glares at you, lips curling and nostrils flaring in a way that immediately makes you regret your sudden surge of confidence.

"You're lucky I don't hit women," he mutters under his breath.

Those words alone are enough to make your skin crawl. It's a threat, a cleverly disguised one, but a threat all the same.

"I'll ask one more time, sweetie. Do you know Clarence?" his voice is painfully condescending. Under different circumstances you would have chewed his ear off.

Before you get a chance to snap back at him the bell chimes as someone else enters the diner. You thank God, and whoever else is up there with him, that you are no longer alone.

It's a regular- Peter. You flash an uneasy smile, willing him to get the hint.

His mousy brown hair hangs flat on his head, a few strands wrapped around his daughter's pudgy fingers. Lazily, he turns to face you, eyes narrowing as he takes in your nervous expression.

“Everything alright?” he asks.

The man scoffs and rolls his eyes. “We're fine, get your coffee and go.”

It takes him a second, round brown eyes darting between the two of you before he sucks in a sharp breath and nods his head.

Peter knows he isn't intimidating, painfully the opposite. It’s almost impossible for him to come across as anything other than naïvely friendly… perhaps a little agitating, though. There's never a moment where a charismatic grin isn't etched into his thin, rosy lips or an awkward joke said to ease the tension. According to him, it’s his Achilles heel.

Hurriedly, he excuses himself and Mayday and pushes his chair away from the counter before stumbling out the door. Your eye twitches with slight irritation but you push past it; there’s no point staying angry with Peter when he didn't have any obligation to ‘save’ you.

Smirking, the man looks at you. It’s just the two of you now.

You know you shouldn't have begged to take the closing shift alone. You had assumed you’d keep all the tips, get to clean up with whatever music you like playing and have some downtime before trudging through the busy New York streets. And now you know how idiotic it was to think that.

“Hey, bebita.” the shrill sound of the bell doesn't do anything to dampen obnoxiously loud entrance.

You drag your gaze over to the source of the tall shadow that’s blanketing the top of the sticky, wooden counter. It takes you no time at all to recognise that sturdy build and dark heap of slicked-back curls.

Your eyes scrunch as your lips utter a silent thank you to God for freeing you from the burden of this creep and a little less grateful plea to get rid of Miguel as soon as possible.

Don't get it wrong, you couldn't be happier someone has come to rescue you from whoever this balding weirdo is but you might be a little more giddy with glee if it wasn't Miguel. It’s not that he's a bad guy or anything but things can get a little tense between people when one of them stands the other one up.

Miguel slides onto one of the stools next to the man, who is now looking considerably less confident now that there's a 6’9 man sitting next to him.

“Can I get a coffee, please,” he orders with an awkward curve of his lips that doesn't quite form a smile.

“She’s busy right now, might want to go someplace else, lad,” the stranger says with a nod towards the door, almost trying to act pally with Miguel. But he knows better than that- surely.

You can see Miguel’s jaw tensing from the corner of your eye but you brush past it, finding amusement in his irritation.

“You know how I like it, black, no sugar,” he says before turning his attention back to the man.

You make your way down to the other end of the counter where the coffee pot sits, encompassed by splodgy brown rings stained into the wood. You wonder how long you can stay down here, how many excuses you can come up with before one of them grows weary and snaps.

The wash cloth is still damp, you know it is because you wiped everywhere down at least fifty times whilst waiting for your unwanted visitor to leave. You begin to scrub the battered wood again, trying in vain to remove the surplus of coffee stains that you know won’t budge.

It’s not even late and you’re exhausted. Just the thought of getting on the train has your eyes growing heavy and shoulders sagging. And now, you have to deal with two of the most irritating people to exist.

“Hurry up with his coffee, we have things to talk about!”

You whip your head around, eyes narrowed with spite and lips parted to spew whatever crude insult spills out first but Miguel beats you to it.

“What?” he scoffs.

“She’s taking forever, acting like we have all the time in the fucking world!”

Without any hesitation, Miguel is up, towering over the balding reprobate. His expression is calm, surprisingly, but the slight clench of his jaw can't hide from your watchful gaze. You’re tempted to intervene, cautious of the mess Miguel’s infamous outbursts leave behind, but this loathsome man getting put in his place is more than worth it.

“Apologise.”

The man swallows, yellowing eyes widened with panic. On his own, the man is intimidating. He’s taller than you and it’s easy to tell he works out but he's no Miguel. Side by side, he looks like an influenza-ridden Victorian child whilst Miguel continues to stand proud, attracting all attention like a pompous black hole.

His chapped lips move but no intelligible words come out, just a serious of worthless splutters and squeaks.

Miguel rolls his eyes. “Apologise to the lady. Now.”

Only silence follows. Silence so soft and crisp you swear you can hear the snowflakes falling on the dirtied pavements outside before they instantly melt away. That’ll be fun walking home in.

“Por dios,” Miguel groans, “You have one last chance, tell her you’re sorry or I’m dragging you out and telling everyone how much of an uneducados, baboso bastardo you are!”

“I-i only understood bastardo,” the man stammers and you just about manage to muffle the chuckle that bubbles in your chest.

“Getting kicked out it is,” Miguel sighs.

You watch through amused eyes as Miguel grabs him by his tattered collar and drags him towards the door. The man continues to protest this, blabbering about how he's more than happy to apologise and that he has friends in high-up places who won't be pleased to hear about this, but Miguel doesn't care.

He chucks him out into the street and you don't even have to see his face to know he’s smirking as the idiot lands flat on his ass because you are too.

The bell chimes his entrance once again, a proud grin on his face as he saunters towards you.

“So?” he questions expectantly.

Pushing past your amusement, you shrug your shoulders.

“I just kicked out some dick head for you and you’re not gonna say anything?”

“He didn't get a chance to pay, so you’re gonna have to cover it.” you flash him a sarcastic smile before picking up the tip jar and pushing it towards him, “and tip.”

His eyes narrow before he pulls out his wallet and behind to leaf through a series of wrinkled tens and twenties before pulling out a fifty. “Treat yourself.”

Again, you offer a forced smile before taking the jar away and opening the register to change the fifty for five tens. Your ears perk at the sound of his exasperated sigh, the corner of your mouth twitching into a grin at his irritation.

“You are so petty you know that, hermosa?”

You slam the register shut, mettle blooming in your chest at the dumbfounded expression on Miguel’s face.

You remain unblinking as you glare at him, not a slither of emotion is present on your face other than pure unbridled spite. You’ve never been able to wrap your head around his confidence. Sure, he's conventionally attractive and can tell you how the reason you never see stars at night isn't because of all the light pollution but because they know they’ll never compare to the grace of your smile or the dazzling beauty of your eyes all in Spanish. But is he really that amazing?

He pulls out a small metal tube from his pocket and pops it open. “Toothpick?” he offers, sliding one between his lips, “cherry flavoured.”

You keep staring disdainfully at him, expression unmoving.

“I’m starting to understand why he was in such a grump,” he mutters to himself, although his eyes are still carefully trained on you, “with service like this, any man would end up in a funk like that.”

That does it. You slam your fists on the tacky counter with a furious groan. You’re so fucking tired, not one single person in this entire rat-filled city has manners, the last thing you need is some self-obsessed playboy messing with your emotions.

Palms stinging , you look back up at him. His eyes are slightly widened but he stays silent, slightly baffled by whatever just happened.

“Get out, Miguel.”

He scoffs and stays where he is, clearly not oblivious to how infuriating he is.

“I’m not joking. Get out.”

His expression falters slightly but again, he simply refuses to move.

“I am so tired of people walking all over me, not an ounce of courtesy or anything. I'm not letting you, of all people, treat me the same.”

Slowly, he stands up, pushing his toothpick holder into his inside pocket.

“Please,” your voice cracks as tears sting the corners of your eyes, “just get out.”

You don't wait to hear the door close before allowing yourself to crumple, head falling onto your folded arms on the counter while unwanted tears trail down your cheeks.

You can’t believe you just broke down that, completely unprovoked. Miguel didn't help but whatever just happened was… it was more than unnecessary it was just plain childishness. How could you have allowed yourself to get so worked up? Normally you’re so collected, and always know how to act, yet the second that cocky idiot is around your emotions run havoc.

Then, your nose breathes in that familiar cedar and menthol smell. Internally, you groan.

“Look, I’m sorry that was out of order,” he mutters.

You roll your eyes. It's all well and good being able to apologize for being a dick one time but when you're continuously being a douche the effect tends to wear off.

“How did you even get behind here?” you mumble into your arms.

Ignoring your question, he slowly wraps an arm around your waist. You jump, at first, but allow yourself to relax. It’s nice being held, even if it's awkwardly and by someone you detest.

“Let me walk you to your car.”

What a gentleman.

Sniffling, you lift your head and turn to face him. “I don't have a car, Miguel!” you croak out.

What could pass as either a pout or a thoughtful frown forms on his lips as he stares at you. Whatever it is, it reeks of sympathy that you didn't ask for.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve said that.”

“No. I’m sorry about before.”

You scoff. It’s like he refuses to listen to you on purpose.

He runs his fingers through his hair, a sigh pushing past his lips. “I’m sorry about not showing up.”

It takes a second or two before you get what he means. You raise your brow, taken aback by his sudden ability to take just enough responsibility to apologize but not enough to actually say what he did. It’s funny, in a way, that it took you having to yell at him and break down crying before it even clicked that he should apologize.

“It’s fine, you were a dick and I got over it.” you lie.

He scowls, clearly unimpressed by the lack of enthusiasm his apology earned him. He steps a little closer, fingers grazing against your middle. Instinctively, your stomach clenches at the contact but you don't move away.

“That’s… that’s fair.”

You hum in agreement but remain silent.

“Forgot how to speak?” his voice is smooth like velvet but you don't take the bait. You’ve been in this position before, Miguel holding you close, a sudden softness to his demeanour whilst he comforts you. And last time it ended with you crying into your pillow until you fell asleep.

His hand turns your face towards him, thumb tracing the outline of your lower lip. “Que niña tan linda,” he utters.

Your upper lip curls up in disgust and you push him away. You might be exhausted and emotionally distraught but that doesn't mean you don't have common sense.

Something, you’re not quite sure what, flickers across his expression as he bites down on his bottom lip.

Defensively, he holds his hands up and takes a dramatic step away. “Misread the room.”

You laugh. Again, it's not even a proper apology, just something to clear his conscious until he does something equally as idiotic. It would take a miracle for him to give a heartfelt, meaningful apology and you sincerely doubt any miracles are coming his way.

Another awkward silence fills the room. It's not like the one before, though, there’s no fear of death or ill-mannered slobs taking up all thinking space. Just you and Miguel, stood dangerously close while you cumbersomely sniffle away your tears.

You can feel it, Miguel’s intense gaze burning holes into the side of your face. He doesn't look away, just keeps staring at you, unblinking and unmoving.

“Bebita.” you allow yourself to look at him. The harsh, flickering yellow lights hang close to his head and burn the corners of your eyes. “I think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.”

“If you thought so, I wouldn't have been left standing outside the movies for an hour in the rain waiting for you,” you mutter snidely.

Ditching his previous tactics for forgiveness, he groans. “I told you already, I was busy.”

Everyone had warned you to watch out for guys like Miguel- the loud, cocky ones that only think with their dick. But you’ve never been one to listen, not to overbearing second cousins and patronising aunts, anyway.

Your ignorance of their advice hadn’t done much, though, because as much as you’d pretended, they were right. He knows he could have any girl he wants, all he’d have to do is flash her that signature smirk, maybe wrap one of his toned arms around her waist, and they’re putty in his hands.

And you'd fallen for his flirtatious trap once before. Hook, line and sinker.

You force your gaze away, deciding eye contact with him isn't worth the optical damage that will surely present itself sooner or later.

“You have a house phone, could have called me or the diner, hell- Peter would have been happy to be your little messenger pigeon!” it all comes out at once, a toxic blur of anger and regret that has been burning in your chest since the moment he walked in tumbling out your mouth before you could get a chance to stop yourself. “You are the scum of the earth, Miguel. I hope you know that.”

He lets your words settle in the air, arm slowly retracting from your waist and coming to rest on the countertop. His lips are pursed into a tight line that hides all emotion but the remnants of a frown tug his brown eyes downwards.

“Peter had come out, before, telling me that some creep was in there bothering you.” he glances back down at you, waiting for something other than fury to be represented on your face only to realise his optimism was all in vain and continuing on. “And I thought… maybe if I sort this out for her, she’ll forgive me.”

“You trying to be a good person now doesn't make standing me up okay.” you pause, angling yourself to face him, a sudden wave of sympathy crashing over you at the sight of his shiny eyes. “I forgive you, for now.”

This time, he doesn't even try to hide the pleased smirk on his face. His obnoxiously sharp canines poke proudly over his bottom lip and that ridiculous cocky twinkle is back in his eyes. If he was a dog, his tail would be wagging to no end.

“Does this mean we’re friends now?”

You scrunch your nose and shake your head. “I can't be friends with someone who tips with a fifty, it’s too ironic and tacky.”

He clutches his chest in feigned offence before a low chuckle rumbles from deep within his chest.

You aren't too sure what you are, in all honesty. The two of you had started off as acquaintances, which led to a strange friendship which had snowballed into him kissing you in the kitchen after closing hours before he stood you up on your first proper date. And now you’re both here, laughing even though you’re certain you wanted him dead almost a minute ago.

“Can I try again, then? I want to get it right.”

You shrug, you only live once.

[sillyhahasilly]

ermm hello can I order some Caldre cuddling head canons please :3

like do they snuggle a lot, pls tell me I think they would cuddle tbh

and preferably if you think the shoe fits could cal be little spoon

oh ok this is my SHIT

I think that any physical affection they do, like cuddling, goes almost completely unaddressed. there is no talking about it later. they just do what feels right in the moment.

andre wasn't a touchy person with anyone ever until he and cal got really close. cal was moderately touchy, but only with family, rachel, or the other very few close friends he had in his life.

when they started to get really close, could of been before or after they talked abt doing something like zd, but definetly after they talked about how they feel about their world and desires to die/cause harm, is when they started to be slightly more than average affectionate to each other.

prior to this their affection was normal friend stuff. patting on the back, hugs hello/goodbye, highfives, yk.

during a particular deep conversation, andre started to tear up a little. he went right into, "ugh i'm sorry this is so stupid." shit. but cal hugged him from his seat next to him, arm nearest to andre still in his own lap, other arm reaching to hold andre to him. he let andre cry into his hold. the first time either had ever done anything remotely like that.

that was the first crossed boundary into a more physical affection relationship.

(I would be very happy to expand upon the progression of their non sexual physical relationship after this but I'm too tired rn. if anyone is interested lmk. take def ooc cuddling hcs! js think abt it as what they would do if they werent rlly repressed!!)

cal gives andre back hugs. his head rests on andres shoulder and he hold his hands together at his waist. he will do this while andre is working or whenever he js wants more attention. cal is a attention whore for andre and he shows it thru affection

when they sleepover at cal's house, an uncommon occurrence, they share his twin bed. they usually fall asleep facing each other, sometimes holding each other. andre plays w cal's hair, the wisps on his nape. it soothes cal to sleep, someone who struggles sleeping.

andre tends to show more affection when he is sleepy. cal becomes more pliant to him when he is sleepy, but is the same amount of affectionate.

andre likes to hold cal, to spoon him and wrap his arms around his waste and up under his shirt, touching his stomach. he puts his face into cal's neck. sometimes he lifts up the back of his hair to stuff his nose in it. he wraps his legs around cals and connects his feet or ankles together so cal is encased. in these moments it's like andre is trying to get as close as possible to cal. cal loves how... loved it makes him feel. how cared for and wanted.

sometimes andre puts his hand on cals thigh when he is driving. it started off as a joke but never stopped.

when they park andres car somewhere random to just hangout, cal lies on andre from the passenger side and they js talk.

when they sleepover in the same bed and cal wakes up first, he will lay there drawing lines w his fingers in andres skin until andres wakes.

cal gets cold easily. when his hands are freezing, he will stick them without warning up andres shirt or his neck to warm them. andre always shouts, "wtf cal!! and tries to get cals cold ass hands away from him

this are kinda mid im.sorry I'm so tired but I wanted to write something 😭😭 thank u for the ask!!!

[nervouswhizkid]

i. am so mad. i'm mad at season 4 and at every one of you that interacted with my last post abt vld season 3. i know u were all sitting there giggling at me as i walked into s4 knowing full well it was going to destroy me. no WARNING??? i don't even want to sit down and write about it, i'm gonna start crying all over again

i hate that keith left the team. i have to actually practice breathing techniques right now because it's making me so mad omg. i know i said last time that voltron without lance was unthinkable, but i didn't mean that keith should leave. THAT IS NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!! that also means that there was less keith (and klance) content this season, which i take personally. they did that to hurt me specifically. and on top of that, the team was being so mean about keith's wavering priorities. i feel like when anything goes wrong, with lance and keith specifically, everyone is so mean to them??? god forbid they make a mistake or have personal struggles, DAMN

i feel like this screencap says it all.

guys how about let's talk to each other instead of being passive aggressive and icing people out (i do want to point out though that lance seems more sad/disappointed here than anything. my little klance heart is breaking 😭) AND THIS SCENE??

the moment i realized keith was about to walk in my stomach dropped. they all look so angry and here comes Mister Puppy Eyes McGee. i actually can't take it that's my son everyone leave him alone!!! 🤺🤺🤺🤺 i know they had a big group hug after but that's not good enough for me, they should have tied keith up or handcuffed him to the ship, or something. WHY ARE WE LETTING HIM GO WITH THE BLADE OHMYGODDDD

look at this, like??

the camera setup is what gets me. you have keith smiling with all of his friends in the background and then it swaps to a dark, yawning hallway with the most heartbreaking frown on his face. that doesn't look like someone sure of their decisions to me. this boy is in pain!! i'm also just confused about shiro being able to pilot the black lion. maybe confused isn't the right word, but i'm not sure how to describe it. i'm not convinced?? black already denied him, so why now? i kinda feel like it would've been better had he not tried to reconnect with her at the end of last season, because there was no suspense for me this time. the moment he decided to go try again i was like "oh it's gonna work this time isn't it" i get that it's likely black could sense keith's internal struggles and feel him pulling away and maybe that's why she gave shiro a second chance, but shiro becoming the black paladin again gave keith the excuse to leave, because why do they need him now? they have a black paladin, and it's not him. but to me, it should have been. he went through all of that growth last season, and for what?? just to abandon them when things get rocky?? ugh, i hate this!!

i can't even talk about episode 2 without crying, so just know that i'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face as i write this. i was really excited to finally get some closure on the whole pidge-missing-family mystery, considering that's been a subplot since the beginning of the show. as much as this episode broke my heart, i really did love it. they executed it so well. the scene where pidge lands on that planet with the graves? and they're running and pleading for it to not be true, all the flashbacks of cherished memories and images of matt? dropping to her knees in front of his grave in disbelief??

now that's fucking cinema. you best believe i was bawling my eyes out the whole time. i have a little sister and our relationship is very similar to pidge and matt's, so this was just excruciating. i'm very glad he wasn't actually dead, but part of me almost wishes he was? that sounds SO dark, i hope you guys get what i mean. they just put the audience through the absolute wringer and then they're like "oh, actually he's still alive LOL gotcha!" and that makes me really happy for pidge, but man, what a plot twist that would have been. they've been searching for their brother all this time, so you expect some kind of payoff for dedicating so much time to that storyline, but what if he was just dead?? and there was nothing she could do?? wow this is painful to talk about why did i start watching this show if there's a fic where someone explores that possibility then pls share, for some reason i want to torture myself again, i just love how they did this episode. it's very trope-y, but sometimes you just have to lean into it and enjoy, and this was one of those times

the classic fighting-each-other-unknowingly and middle-of-the-fight-identity-reveal? i'll eat it up every time!!

real talk though why is matt so attractive 😏

soo, zarkon is back. fantastic. do he and haggar just not care about each other?? they haven't mentioned the fact that they're married at all and haggar basically still acts like his loyal follower. i'd entertain the thought that maybe it's been so long that it just doesn't really matter to them anymore, but haggar sounded like she actually cared when she realized they were husband and wife last season. but now it's like nothing happened?? i don't expect them to act all lovey-dovey, but there wasn't even a single line of acknowledgment. and i still cannot understand what lotor's plans are. what is his agenda? he wasn’t bothered at all by zarkon reclaiming the throne, and even went to the trouble to make them think he cared. he got that comet and made a couple of ships, but i still don't know what he plans to do with them. also– i can't believe he killed narti!! i know, i was literally just talking about how she specifically frustrated me, but i was so not expecting their death. i get why he did it, but now the rest of his group doesn't trust him.

i'd say that the one bright spot in this season was episode four. that episode was just so silly and gave me so much secondhand-embarrassment i actually had to look away at times LMAO is this where we got the whole Loverboy Lance and Lone Wolf Keith thing from?? i thought that was purely fandom-made, i was not expecting to hear that in an actual episode. talk about whiplash. and we got this ICONIC scene:

he did that wayyy too naturally. lance, buddy, got anything to share?

i really would have loved to see keith with the team during that episode. i can just imagine how he would've reacted to having to do all of that stuff. god, that would've been hysterical!! the images of the parasite in coran's brain made me gag though, was that really necessary🧍‍♀️

i don't have a ton to say about the final episodes. i mean, it was two episodes of them fighting on naxzela. it was definitely a bit of an avengers endgame feeling with all people they helped in previous seasons showing up to fight, so that was cool! i'm curious as to what purpose naxzela served to the galra empire though. were they always planning to use it as a bomb? and couldn't they still do that technically? they only broke the witches connection with it, so all they'd have to do is get another ship out there and she could do it again. what do you even do with a planet like that?? just destroy it?? i also just want to point out that lance said they should get out of there immediately, and nobody listened!! and then five seconds later they were like "oh no, we need to get out of here!" justice for lance i stg ohmygod and LOTOR is on their side now?!?!?! i actually can't wait to see how this plays out!! total transparency, i love atla and i could absolutely see this being a zuko redemption arc situation. it's clear his parents don't like him at all (are they actually heartless or something??) so why not join the other side!! I'M HERE FOR IT

i have to be honest, this definitely wasn't my favorite season. we're getting into the later seasons and i've heard plenty about how the writing goes a little left-field (though i'm not sure when that happens. most people seem to agree season 8 is shit, but i've heard complaints about s6-7 as well) so we'll just have to see! i'm sticking it out as best i can🚶‍♀️‍➡️ onto season 5!

[valscodblog]

"Trick or Treat" Valeria Garza x F!Reader

So uhm. VAL HAS MADE AN APPERANCE IN MY WRITTING!! Your welcome, I guess???

Warnings: SPICY FLIRTINGGGG, and maybe a lil more spicy stuff at the end too, so sue me, BAD EDITING, im tired. And uhm nothing else really. It's just some good ol' fluff with you and Mami Val. Female reader, im sorry im sorry-and it's short asf im sorry.

also, i might of misspelled a few words in Spanish. i wasn't using a translator bc im fluent but uhmm...sometimes i fuck up the spelling a few words, im sorry.

@seconds-on-the-clock @skauni @writing-with-moss and uhmmm yeah-

(okay before you read this can we talk abt how my name's Val-TvT)

Valeria called you into the bathroom of the house you shared with her. Yo were already ready, in your grim reaper costume, picked out by her of course because you were sorta of in a slump this Fall. You just couldn't come up with a cute costume idea like you did last year for you two! So Val searched up some costumes and picked out some cute ideas for you.

"Mi Vida, can you do the face paint for me, por favor?" you nodded and took up the brush she was holding out to you. You dipped it into the black paint and asked, "What do you want me to paint?" Valeria smiled and said, "Una calavera. A skull." and you sighed. "Really, Val? You can't wait until November?" "A skull." "...Fine." "Grasias, Mi Alma." "your welcome-" "In Spanish, please." "...De nada?"

Valeria sighed. "Maybe I should've taught you more spanish before moving you to Mexico," she said as she rested her hands on your hips. You giggled gently and finished up her face paint. "Your all done," you murmured softly as you set the brush down. "Muy bueno. Very good...your such a good artist, Mi Corazon." "Oh, Val, c'mon!"

"Ay, I'm being serious, Amor!" and you huffed, "Fine."

Trick or Treating had started and you, being the sweet thing you were, passed out candy. A few guys try to hit on you sure, but you had a feeling that they stopped the second Val started looking up from her phone. "Val. Babe, how come your on your phone so much?" Valeria smiled gently. "I'm trying to buy you a birthday gift-it's soon, no?" "Well, yes, but-" "No buts. Now-need help with that dulce?" and you swore you could've died happy right then and there. "Please. My feet are killing me."

Val took the basket and started passing out the candy while you sat down in the lawn chair she had been in-still warm. Huh...your eyes started to droop but you didn't fall asleep. You couldn't....okay, maybe just a small ten minuet nap....

Valeria looked over to you and sighed gently. She had made a "Take one" sign for a reason after all. She pulled out a small stool, set the bowl down and then the sign leaning against the bowl. She then picked you up, with surprising ease. Hmm...she'd have to feed you a little more, if you were still so easy to pick up.

She walked inside with you and laid you down on the bed, taking off your boots. You woke up as she did this and grumbled, "What the hell..?" "Buenos dias, Mi Luz." You smiled and giggled, "Morning, Val...did I really fall asleep?" "Just for twenty minuets or so. Not long." and you nodded as you rolled over onto your stomach. Your dress rolling and then clumping up around your hips, exposing your lacey black panties.

Valeria rolled her eyes, "You trying to turn me on, Mi Amor?" and you hummed in a questioning tone. "Sus chones...muy bonita." Valeria said, grabbing the waistband with a finger and then lifting it up and then letting it go, taking her finger back, realishing the slapping noise it made on your skin. She laughed softly at the whimper you gave because of it and pressed a soft kissed to the nape of your neck.

"Good to sleep, Mi Vida...I'll have breakfast ready for you in the morning...I'll also change you, if you want."3

"Valeria!" "Que? I'm just offering." "...fine but don't do anything." "I promise not to." "Good...Night, Babe." "Buenas Noches, Mi Amor."

[stellamancer]

niku i don’t thiiiiink we’ve ever talked about this before (<- goldfish brain)……. but . that drabble made me wonder. how would bten!reader react if gojo found out abt their bday and did something sweet for them….? since their relationship with time is all fucked up i’m assuming they maybe wouldn’t remember it themselves 😭 or care? question mark? anyway this is just me begging for more crumbs im sorry …. scurries away . into the night (i love u)

omg ari so i intended to write this a a drabble when I was very sleepy, but as I got into attempting to it got so depressing LMAO.

so I'm going to. not. FORGIVE MEEEEEEE. but uh, I will answer this in reverse order.

first, I'm assuming when you say that they wouldn't remember it in the sense of they wouldn't think about it coming up, which is... pretty accurate. honestly if it weren't for their own phone they would not be able to keep track of like what day it is. I mean, I guess saying it like that it doesn't seem like anything too special but like... the days kind of blur together for them (especially since their sleeping habits are abyssmal). So like, if their birthday is coming up they just know it's 'soon' and not like 'it's in three days.'

As for caring, as I told you LMAO, prior to the events of bten, bten!reader wasn't the type to make a big fuss about their birthday. I think their personal form of celebrating may be like a splurge purchase. However, their besties would DEFINITELY make a big deal of it, and drag them out to celebrate it together (going out to dinner together, going for karaoke, there's one year Mio demands bten!reader takes the day off from work and they go to Tokyo Disney Sea). And while bten!reader would always tell them that they don't have to do anything, they still do and deep down it makes them happy. I think the only reason bten!reader cared about their birthday in the past was because it was a reason for their friends to get together and, since they're adults with jobs and such, they have less opportunities to do so.

So, the first birthday after the events of bten.... Would be hard. Very hard. I think that bten!reader would actually actively try to not even think about it if they can avoid it. But I think Mio still reaches out and they do end up spending bten!reader's birthday together but like... visiting shinn and kei's graves and it's probably pretty depressing LMAO........

as for how they would react if gojo did something sweet for them...

Just inside the barrier leading to Jujutsu High you find none other than Satoru Gojo waiting, leaning casually against the pillar of the torii gate that leads onto the campus grounds. He grins widely when you catch sight of him making it clear that he was waiting for you. The realization makes your stomach twist. What could he possibly want?

"Not like you to go anywhere when you don't have a mission," he remarks. "Where'd you wander off to?"

"...went to visit my friends' graves."

"Pretty morbid way to spend your birthday, if you ask me."

You frown slightly, not even bothering to wonder how he knew. "I didn't ask."

Gojo merely shrugs, annoyingly nonchalant. You stare at him, wondering if he's going to tell you why he's been waiting for you on his own or if he's going to make you ask.

Knowing him, it's the latter.

"...what is it?" you finally ask with a sigh. You feel oddly tired and the sooner you can settle whatever it is Gojo wants, the sooner you can lay down and rest. Though, whether or not you sleep is another matter entirely.

"Nothing much," he answers casually. "Just wanted to give you this."

Out of seemingly nowhere he pulls out a large rectangular package and bops you lightly on the head with it. Slowly, you reach up and take it from him. Upon further inspection, you find it's some item wrapped in decorative paper. You stare at it for a good, long second, then up at Gojo.

He chuckles. "It's a present. You know, a birthday present."

"...you didn't have to," you say almost automatically, hand running over the paper. It's a shimmery sort of light blue that's reminiscent of Gojo's eyes. You're surprised, not only did he take the time to find out your birthday, he got you a present— even had it wrapped

"And?"

"...thank you," you say quietly. "...is it okay to open it?"

"Go ahead."

You carefully pull at the folds in the paper, careful to not rip the paper as you unwrap the present. Beneath the paper is a book of sorts, with a soft leathery cover. You blink. "A journal?"

"Thought it might be useful," he explains. "You're having trouble keeping track of the days, right?"

You are, and you think you remember reading somewhere that keeping something like a daily journal might help but... "Isn't it more common to use a blog or app for this kind of thing."

Gojo shrugs. "Probably, but I thought you might like something more ... tangible."

You're not so sure. The last time you wrote in a notebook was in high school. It's easier to use a phone or a computer, but there's something about the physical journal that's...

"Take a look inside," Gojo urges, barely managing to contain a grin.

Your eyes narrow and you flip the pages of the notebook. Sure enough in the corners and the top parts of a few of the pages you spot little doodles and drawings; all cartoon renditions of the man before you.

"...most people wouldn't appreciate someone defiling their journal like this," you deadpan.

Gojo waves his hand dismissively. "It gives it character! Are you telling me you don't like my drawings?"

"I didn't say that."

"So then you do like them!"

"I didn't say that either."

Gojo pouts, ignoring you. "Well, then, which is it?"

"....they look kind of dumb."

"They do not!" Gojo exclaims, scandalized. "You take that back!"

"No," you respond flatly. The pout returns to his face and you sigh. "But I will admit you are right, that it does give the journal character."

The pout is instantly gone, replaced with the proud puff of his chest. How ridiculous. Sometimes you have a hard time believing this ridiculous man brutally exorcised hundred of curses right before your eyes. "...will you use it?"

"...yes." After all, it's not like you to waste a thoughtful present like this.

"Promise?"

"Yes, Gojo."

"Will you let me read it?"

"...... maybe." If it's just recording your daily life you can't imagine there being any reason to keep the contents a secret. But at the same time...

Gojo grins, and you can tell he's taken your "maybe" as a "yes."

You could correct him, but you decide not to.

[bettathanyou]

okokok how abt some good ol' angst to fluff cedric and reader where she tries to suprise him with sumn but ends up breaking something of his and he lashes out at her?? Makes her very sad and all and he slowly comes to his senses and comforts her?? Happy endinggg! Thamksss!

Come To My Senses

A Cedric The Sorcerer x Reader Angst/Fluff Fic requested by @acupnoodle

I'm listening to Mitski while writing this so uh if this ends up being more sad than you planned... that's why 😭 also credit to @natbat331 on Instagram for giving me this pic of Cedric that goes so well with the fic!! Anyways enjoy :3

Finishing the ribbon on the gift box, you hum to yourself in glee once again as you picture the look on Cedric's face once he receives your gift. The way his jaw would curve into a smile, warm mahogany eyes sparkling with intrigue- the thought alone filled your stomach with swarms of butterflies.

Inside the box was a piece of neatly folded cloth, its purpose used for making bowties- similar to what Cedric usually wears. However, unlike the simple yellow silk Cedric usually wears, this fabric was much more special.

The silk was a deep black in color, with hand embroidered constellations stitched with precision in real gold thread.

You grab the scissors next to you, cutting off the excess ribbon to make it more presentable. Once you're satisfied with your work, you nod to yourself with an excited smile.

"Done!" You exclaimed, flinging yourself up from your chair. Turning to head out from your room, you tuck the box within your pocket to conceal the surprise.

Strutting down the long castle corridors, you have to bite your lip and glance away at passing servants to conceal the grin that stays stuck to your face. In all honesty though, it wasn't really working that well. Your relationship with Cedric was far from being a secret, and most of the castle inhabitants knew where to find you when you weren't working or in your room.

You turn into that familiar corridor leading toward the staircase to Cedric's door. Heart thumping, your footfalls grow slightly faster, echoing from the stone floor.

Cedric is going to love this, I just know it! His face will be priceless, you think to yourself, biting back a cheeky laugh. Reaching your next destination of the stairs, you ascend without any hesitation.

In your love sick stupor, imagining the different ways Cedric could potentially react- you burst through Cedric's door, waltzing right into his workshop.

You open your mouth to greet your favorite sorcerer and partner, but before a syllable can leave your lips, the man is already cursing.

"Dammit!" The lanky sorcerer roars, and the shrill tinny of glass shattering echoes in your ears. Your first response is to freeze, your wide eyes boring into Cedric's back. Purple silk quickly turns into fiery golden eyes, glinting with anger and disdain.

The sorcerer faces you now, his mouth twisted into a scowl, deep trenches of annoyance across his forehead as he frowns.

"How many times do I have to tell you people-...!" Cedric's usual posh accent is gone now; torn to shreds by the gruff Cockney accent that sometimes peeked out, when he was pissed enough.

And Cedric was certainly pissed.

As his eyes finally processed that this wasn't just anyone, it was you- his guard dropped, slightly, reeling as his mind caught up with the fact.

You, on the other hand, had the opposite reaction. Upon hearing and seeing the rage Cedric emanated off his person, it sent shockwaves through you. Your muscles contracted at the new inflection of his words, that true accent from Cedric's lips always a warning signal for both of you.

You both stood in tense silence, your eyes screaming for any explanation as you search Cedric's face. Your eyes flit over the facial features you've long since memorized, looking for a hint of the Cedric you knew.

Cedric, however, couldn't stomach that look on your face, much less the truth that he was responsible for it- that hurt, the way your eyes shimmered with tears that reflected that temper of his.

Cedric clicks his tongue in annoyance, turning away from your form in one swift motion.

Back to the broken glass, and drip drip drip of a tedious potion that he has slaved away at for almost three days straight. He groaned, the image of King Roland's familiar look of disappointment already coming to mind.

"I'm sorry..." Your voice cuts through the thick haze of Cedric's thoughts. Cautiously, your footfalls come closer as you inspect the damage.

Cedric, however, didn't want another pair of eyes on this failure- he could hardly stand looking at the mess himself.

"No- don't. Just-..." Cedric huffs in frustration, cutting off his sentence abruptly. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he turns to face you once more.

The rage you saw at first had faded, but even worse, you decided, was the deep seeded annoyance on the raven haired man's face.

"Why didn't you knock-?" Cedric asks you, exasperated.

"I.." You stuttered, feeling at a loss yourself. Why didn't you knock? You knew-

"You know you can't just barge in my workshop like that!" Cedric chides you, his voice rising slightly. You turn your eyes away from Cedric, mumbling "I know, I'm sorry," under your breath.

You feel Cedric's eyes burning into you for a moment, before turning his head sharply back to the mess on his table.

Your eyes quickly glance at all the scattered papers around his desk, now soaked through from the liquid, and ink smeared beyond recognition.

"There's good reasons why I have that rule. It's a simple one, yet-..." The sorcerer mumbles to himself, snickering as his nose scrunches with the rest of his frown.

"I'm so sorry I didn't knock, Cedric- I know it's a lame excuse, but it really did just slip my mind! I..." You pause, unsure if it's even worth to elaborate further. The small box in your pocket now feels like a brick, the guilt weighing it down heavy.

"I was just excited to surprise you, and-" You babble on, and the man's warm brown eyes have since grown cold.

"Well, consider me surprised." He snips back in a sarcastic voice, beginning to magically move all the items off his work table to clean up.

The rest of your words have since died on your tongue, and you knew that Cedric was beyond talking until he calmed down. You couldn't blame him though- you messed up, big time it seems, if Cedric's mood soured so quickly due to one accident.

The sting of oncoming tears, along with the frustration you feel towards Cedric's cold demeanor, has kept you silent as Cedric stiffly begins to clean the space around him.

You stood, still as a statue, even though your mind was screaming at you to do something, say something! To fix this. But it was like you were frozen, glued to the spot next to the mess you created. You felt fear- that if you moved again, something else bad would happen.

Cedric, who had been in the middle of sorting through what magical ingredients could be salvaged from the spill, glanced over to where you stood. His face was stony, no discerning emotion left within any line of his face.

"Did you- need any help? I mean, this is my mess, you shouldn't be cleaning it up for me." The words manifested on your tongue in an instant, with you slightly tripping up over your words. Your eyes were hopeful, and somewhat pleading- but Cedric only replied with a long sigh.

"... It's fine. It's best I clean it up anyways- potions require a specific procedure when it comes to spills." Cedric replies in a monotonous voice, not sparing you a second glance as he continues his work.

Feeling dismissed, you hang your head and walk towards his door in shame. As you approach the door, you're hoping for Cedric to say "stop", "wait", or anything really that indicated changing his mind.

However, there was no such thing. Only the scuff of Cedric's feet against the stone flooring as a send off. You glance back, vision blurring slightly as the tears welled up.

Fishing in your pocket, you retrieve the black box that previously was the source of your excitement.

Now, it was nothing more bitter reminder- and you couldn't stand to look at it anymore. You set it down, softly, on another table nearest to the door.

Whatever Cedric does with it, it's out of your hands now. A part of you hopes he'd just toss it in the trash, along with the rest of the things you ruined today.

Without a word, you opened the door- a soft, final, "I'm sorry," leaving your lips.

You close the door, without waiting to hear a reply.

__________________

Cedric finally finished clearing away the rest of the accident, a final flick of his wand gathering the rest of the trash into the rubbish bin.

In the midst of all his clean up, he had forgotten that the bin was already overflowing- yet another mess to clean up.

The disruption crashes Cedric's motivation, the weight of your... argument? Conversation? He wasn't sure- it felt like he did most of the talking, now that the sorcerer thought about it.

Recalling it now made his heart sink, along with the weight of your last words now settling on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry."

Cedric winces as your voice echoes in his memory; that signature wobble in your cadence when you were upset, that usually was accompanied by tears.

Remorse clawed at his chest, and his stomach tightened into knots. The sorcerer runs his hands through his hair, his fingers tracing his scalp as he thought of what to do next.

Clearly, you both couldn't just pretend this didn't happen- no matter how much Cedric wanted to forget about it. Bygone are the days where he avoids confrontation- he knew that he also had to take responsibility for his own actions as well.

His hand reaches for something to fiddle with as he rehearses what to inevitably say to you- his gloved fingertips brushing up against a black satin box.

"What's this...?" Cedric's cat-like curiosity gets the better of him, as his hand curls around the object.

A soft rattle of metal came from inside- yet the box was very light, barely covering his own palm. His mind digs through the vast collection of his personal items to place a name to what was inside- but no dice.

Cedric shrugged, deciding to lift the snug lid upwards to look at the contents hidden within the box.

Casting aside the lid, his caramel colored irises land on the unfamiliar yet gorgeous fabric- the gold thread of stars and constellations winking back at him in the evening sun.

"This... Is-" Cedric's eyes widen, staring down at the fabric for a moment. His jaw hands slack as he cautiously lifts up the tie to inspect it further, taking instant note of the craftsmanship and quality.

It was beautiful, no doubt about it- but it certainly didn't belong to him; he would remember having such a tie in his collection.

"I just wanted to surprise you, and-"

Your voice pops into his mind again as he recalls what you had said earlier, which shoots down his wonderment for a moment. Guilt and anxiety wrack his frame once more, realizing where this tie had came from, and why.

"This was (y/n)'s surprise..." Cedric whispers to himself, bringing a hand over his lip as he gasps.

"Oh, God, I'm such a..." Cedric groans, leaning his face into the palm of his head.

I have to make this right- I... I have to apologize, Cedric thought hurriedly, already reaching for his door handle.

"Hopefully, it's already not too late..." Cedric mumbles to himself, his gaze fixed ahead as he makes his way to your room.

____________

You sigh, tossing your book haphazardly aside on your bed once more. You've been trying to find any kind of distraction to keep your mind off of Cedric, but the silence of your room was only filling your head with more thoughts of the sorcerer.

You and Cedric rarely had spats like that, and the way his face warped into annoyance and anger at your mistake kept haunting the back of your eyelids. You rub at your eyes, trying once again in vain to just stop thinking about it, for even a moment.

We both just need some time to cool off, it's fine, you're fine; keep it together.

You repeat the phrase inside your head like a mantra, until the words begin to lose meaning; sounding like gibberish on your tongue.

In the middle of your chanting, you almost miss the subtle knock on your door- making your body flinch from the sudden noise.

"...Can I come in, dear?" That familiar voice cuts through the wood, seeing two feet shadowing the light peeking through the bottom of the door.

You pause for a moment, deciding if this timing was really good, or you were somehow hallucinating Cedric being there as a cruel trick of your psyche.

"(Y/n)?" Cedric calls out, his tone softer, laced with somewhat disappointment. Hearing your name being called snapped you back to the current moment. Scrambling from your bed, you tip over to unlock the door that stood between you and the man you love.

Creaking the door fully open, you're met with the comforting sight of deep purple robes, tired, yet soft brown eyes, and silver bangs framing the face of your dear Cedric. Your heart sang when you looked at him, but your body still remained stiff- still unsure whether it was acceptable to approach Cedric, given what happened today.

"I... It came to my attention, a little too late late, I might add, that I didn't apologize, either." Cedric fumbled through his words, his fingers fidgeting with his robe sleeve.

"Well... I didn't knock, either-" you offered, but Cedric is quick to cut you off.

"No, you didn't, but-... I shouldn't have lost my temper like that. It wasn't fair, or right, and I'm sorry. I should've come to my senses sooner." Cedric confessed, his eyes glued to yours as his voice grew hoarse from guilt. His shoulder dropped, even more so than normal, and Cedric's tall lanky frame appeared to fold in on itself as the words left his mouth.

"...Did you manage to clean everything up?" You ask, nimbly avoiding the apology for now.

"Huh? Oh- yes, yes, I did." Cedric cocks his head in confusion, wondering why you had avoided his apology. Were you still upset with him? Should he have waited longer to approach you? Should he just leave?

No. No, he can't just leave now- he can't, not until he can relieve you of that sad glint in your eyes, the sadness that he knew was his fault.

"A-actually, I managed to find something interesting, in the midst of my cleaning..." The sorcerer pulled out something from the depths of his sleeve, extending his palm out.

Revealing a small black box, the very same that you possessed.

Instinctively, you smile, your eyes lighting up. You raise your head to look at Cedric, who also bore a knowing smile of his own.

"I was hoping you could do the honor of helping me put it on...?" Cedric asks you, unsure but still hopeful- extending you an offer, as well as an olive branch.

Feeling your walls finally crumble, your smile widens and your eyes crinkle in the way that makes Cedric's heart flutter.

Grabbing Cedric's wrist, you lightly tug him into your room, his eyes widening in equal parts surprise and happiness. You glance up, chuckling to yourself slightly.

It was the face you imagined the sorcerer would make, upon seeing your gift- except, it looked even better in person.

You take the tie from the box, gently looping the fabric around his neck.

"It would be my pleasure, Cedric."

[theropoda]

...... i have. PRAWBLEMS. with the ending but honestly i felt very unwell and gross rn so i had difficulty focusing in the first place, maybe if i watch it again when i feel better ill feel different. under read more bc this got long lol

disclaimer before anyone GETS at me: i am not a critic. im literally just some guy watching a tv show, and i am really more confused than anything so if you really enjoyed the finale and feel like it was the perfect way for the show to end im happy for you! i don't have any intent on arguing it Absolutely Wasn't. this isn't a Hatepost. just me airing my thoughts. that are probably really incoherent bc again, i feel unwell ;_; brain is more focused on my stomach than this damn show

i knew how this was gonna end, i did watch the end of this show before, ive always been familiar w house because i watched episodes of it on tv as a kid with my mom and sister and knew major plot points like amber's death and wilson's cancer and house faking his death and everything but. the details were lost on me. now that i know the details something about them just doesn't jive with me and feel right.

probably related to my earlier post about how even in the final season so much of house is the same. he tried to change for the better but he was still back. i mean the entire premise of the show is about "the disabled addict doctor who struggles to be a person" so if any of these magically stopped being there that'd be stupid ESPECIALLY him being a disabled addict which are so central to his character. so im definitely not complaining about that.

initially i thought him faking his death was insanely reckless but what other choice was available. if he went, Hey, im here! im alive he'd absolutely be going to jail. in jail so far away while his best friend, maybe his only friend would be dying alone. of course he did that. his only choice was ttofake his death to be with wilson. throwing away his whole life and legacy and career and reputation to be with him.

hilson endgame real but also, while watching the whole show i kept going from "tumblr didn't lie these guys are gay" to "Tumblr may have oversold it a bit". but that might just be in the nature of its episodic structure. not e everything is abt wilson there's other people in house's lofe but in that final season everything does speed up, suddenly and become about wilson. which brings me to the whole cancer thing. in my memory of the show from watching it as a kid, Wilson's cancer came up as a plot point WAY earlier and there is much more time to discuss it in the show. to ponder and delve into it, what it means for wilson, for house, for the show. but actually watching the show it feels very sudden....! i felt like the entire cancer thing, which plays so damn heavily into the SERIES FINALE, wasn't explored enough...? it felt rushed. but it might feel like it because well there's a difference between watching a show as it comes out on a schedule vs binge watching it on demand.

and another thing that irked me is- but this is more of a "this personally makes me Feel Sad and Weird" as opposed to genuine criticism is how EVERYONE thinks house is dead except Two People. that's crazy. i have a Thing for closure and knowing things, the truth, im a little paranoid about that, but it just feels insane to me that house's own parents, family, former and current colleges, lovers, everyone... they all think he's dead when he's not. i see how that is, in terms of the Narrative, a good thing? house is truly FREE now. and if other people knew they'd probably call the police. but also that's just kinda horrifying.... I don't know. idk. also wtf cuddy wasn't there at the funeral? D: obviously i know how their last meeting went but they were such big part of each other's lives im rlly shocked she wasn't there! or even showed up at ALL in the ending scene where we see where everyone's life has headed, a little scene of her, Rachel, and someone new

and also. ._. how did that fire even start in the first place?..... did i miss something....? uaaaaah. i should watch it again

ugh but despite my peeves. i want to pass this off as Just another show ive watched, time to move on to the next, because a big part of the reason i started house and kept going and even chose to watch it at the times i did was because i have been going through some rough shit mentally for the past. entire year plus. i have relied on it to keep me distracted. i want to just move onto the next distraction but i have become so attached, it's hard to not feel :/ and :( about 1) the fact it's over now 2) it ended in a way that makes me feel funny, and not in a good way. aaaahhhhh.

[zeephyre]

CR3 EPISODE 65 SPOILERS HOLY FUCK

IMOGEN AND LAUDNA KISSED?!!?!-72828_ LAURA BAILEY ALMOST GAVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK LIKE OBVIOUSLY I COULD SENSE THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM THE WHOLE EPISODE AND I KNEW THAT AFTER SEPARATING THEIR RELATIONSHIP WOULD SHIFT BUT I WASN'T EXCEPTING THEM TO ACTUALLY KISS TONIGHT???#?1)£ I LITERALLY YELPED IN TERROR I THOUGHT I WAS HALLUCINATING IM SO GIDDY RIGHT NOW

god chetney totally clocked them, it's so funny bc they were NAWT subtle -- also, patê low-key exposing them and laudna very subtly (not) changing the subject... chef's kiss.

this episode????? was so good??? i am so happy that my hellians are back together??? i can barely focus rn so I'll try to remember all the good bits (which was the whole episode).

fcg and ashton -- im really glad ash specifically told fcg to hold onto the feelings they have for frida to give them smth to come home to, bc he's brought up how self destructive fcg can get bc they don't consider themself important. it was a very cute moment, and i almost cried bc i love ashton and... idk. he's not coping.

ashton gave me very manic energy this episode. a lot of emotional distress disguised as an epiphany, but that moment of them telling fcg that they can't afford to be useless explained every second of flustered panic.

(not to be that person but i uh...i am starting to ship milo and ashton. i liked it before but now i REALLY like it).

i need to know wtf talie and matt have cooked up those little bastards.

chetney getting caught in a trap almost immediately after ajit warned them to be careful or whatever was pretty funny. the whole time that was going down i kept thinking, "the world is ending. we have better shit to be thinking abt than this fr," and not in a bad way. it's just ??? bro who cares who hired you, we are BUSY. i knew chetney attacking that shop keeper was gonna bite him in the ass, and it honestly was hilarious.

i know it was just casual and also sort of a trick, but i loved fearne giving chet a little kiss. they are so real to me y'all don't understand.

i have a very complicated relationship with the matron, bc i love her aesthetic, love her vibe (tho i hate birds, but i love a raven motif), and i also will never forgive her for taking my skrunkly wunkle away from me. that shared vision between orym, chet and fearne was... fucking amazing. matt outdid himself this episode fr. it's probably one of my favourite scenes of this whole campaign.

speaking of which... VAX SCREAMING???? HE'S IN PAIN????????? LET MY BABY GIRL OUT????? I STARTED FUCKING BAWLING NO JOKE. The imagery was so visceral i felt sick to my stomach and i just started tearing up. ludinus your days are fucking numbered.

SPEAKING OF THAT WHITE HAIRED OLD BITCH. HE'S ON THE FAWKING MOON WITH LILIANA???? IRA IS ALSO ON THE MOON???? WITH A REILORA???? AND WE'RE DEFINITELY GOING TO THE MOON AT SOME POINT??????? I LOVE THIS CAMPAIGN RAHAHWHSHJSJ

:( still no caleb safety confirmation but i think he's fine guys what could have possibly gone wrong /s.

we're in zephrah 🥺 i knew the episode was about to end, and it was so damn beautiful, but i can't wait until thursday. we're gonna see kiki. we have to tell her abt vax, but i also don't want her to know that he's suffering.

is it thursday yet :(

[rockngyrroser]

therapy of the strongest sorcerer. part 1.

first step to open up. a/n: i read some fanfics for few last weeks, and i wanted to write mine, so I was thinking abt satoru gojo and… i think this man needs therapy. thank to all fanfics authors for inspiring me! i am very grateful. also i am sorry if there will be any gramatical errors etc., i'm still studying eng. also thank you all if you're reading this! this means a lot for me!!

content: sfw, gojo comes to the therapy for 6 months now, y/n gives her best to make him better and just do her work, action tooks place after Geto death (like 6 months after), gojo satoru x fem! oc

reminder: it's just my imagination, no need to read it if you don't like it, please have mercy, this is my first time writing smth like this and let it go to the public

it was thursday. very long day. not only because therapist work was tiring, but also, because the last patient is satoru gojo. he is very annoying somehow, he never wants to tell you the truth, even if you work together as a therapist-patient for a 6 months every thursday for at least one hour.

it's not like you always feel annoyed by your patients, you never do, but gojo is really weird one. he likes to be quiet for one hour, no matter what you try to do or say. he got the therapy appointments, because his company told him to go and they pay for his sessions. he likes to try to beg you for letting him go, just because he has some more important appointments like going out for an ice creams or just going back to his home and call you then that he was joking. you never believed him again about more important things and now you always call his company to know if this is true, if he tries to do it again.

he is like a child who is forced to go there. few times he said that you can have a deal. he gets a papers that he is okay now and you have free one hour, just for yourself. you became a therapist to help people with their mental health, not because any other reason.

your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. they opened and you already saw white haired head of gojo satoru.

"hello, (l/n)-san" you knew it will be hard hour, but still you were optimistic inside of your heart. your mission is to help people and this is what makes you happy.

"welcome again, gojo-san! please take your seat." you said with calm tone and pointed at dark, comfortable sofa. you grabbed your notes about him and his therapy and sat on the comfy chair next to his sofa. "how was your week?"

it was different. you and gojo talked at the sessions more like friends, not like a therapy thing, it was more like meeting with your distant friend every week. as long as it was hard to start any conversation with him, you took his strategy to open him a little every week. but your plan wasn't working as you imagined.

"uhm.. i guess nothing new.. i ate some sweets.. i had some trouble with sleeping.. is this answer enough?" he said while he was looking at the ceiling.

"i think we both know the answer for your question, gojo-san. but.. i'm interested what kind of trouble with sleeping did you have? can you tell me more?" you asked trying anything, literally anything to start any deeper conversation.

"i couldn't sleep, but it's probably because my stomach was fulfilled with sweets.. like i said before i ate some.." he had smirk on his face. you looked at him with serious facial expression.

"i think this is some kind of preschoolers problems.. but you make it easy to treat you like one." you replied with smirk on your face.

"oh my god, if i really bother you.. as i said many times, you can let me just go, you are nothing to help me-"

"i am therapist so please, take me seriously, i am not playing with you, i am trying since 6 months to open you somehow, so i could help your mental health, because i get everyday calls from your company that you're still not changing in any way.. they even called me that you are crying so loud that they all can hear you! i am ready to help you, but please, just please, tell me what bothers you, because if you don't i'll never let you go, i'll keep you here for as long as you won't open." you bursted because you had enough of this.

he was looking at you with surprise on his face and seriousness. he didn't talk for a while. he just get up and walk around your office. after around one minute he sat down again.

you stood up and took a sip of coffee that you made.

"do you want coffee? water? anything?" you asked with dispiritedness in your voice.

"do you have tea? i understand your… problem.. i am sorry, i didn't know that you want to help me that much.. i was thinking.. i.. that you just want to make some money because my company pays and i don't care about that… i.. uhm…"

"i have tea." there was long silence, you did the tea and handed it to him.

"i want to help you, because i became therapist to help other people with their mental state, not to make money. will you just trust me? i am not monster or anything." you said calmly, trying to feel good again inside of you.

after 6 months of working with gojo, you finally see real chance to open up gojo.

[puckpocketed]

i have many differing opinions on stevie y’s moves ! on one hand i am absolutely thrilled abt lucas and moritz. those are some of detroit’s most absolutely beloved boys and knowing they’ll be in detroit for so many years to come is such a relief. on the *other* hand. he let beloved griddy man jake walman go for literally nothing and that’s really hard to stomach. i’m also really going to miss robby who went to the ducks, and beloved old man perron who he let go to my enemy the sens. my opinions on him contain multitudes rn tbh/ how was offseason for you? also the individual tag makes me feel very special thank you

yeah we are still kinda ??? about the walman trade. happy hes here, and hes making friends with our new silly goalie askarov :) but i wonder if it all comes around in the future and we take some very weird and unbalanced deal to help stevie y. last i heard about the deal, walman wasn't "shopped around" much, even though some gms were willing to offer stuff in return?? so why give him away like that..?? head scratcher. also, im casting my spell of stevie y Please jettison p.kane into retirement :)

....your enemy the sens . HELP... the ever expanding cloud of teams i am endeared by may be caught in this crossfire <3 i picked up a few teams over the offseason because they drafted some interesting guys + got my exwives in trades/free agency (see... all my recent capsposting) other than that lots of podcast listening, a bit of gifing, a lot of clearing out the small mountain of drafts + asks that just keep arriving (HELP) doing my best to at least address the new ones - like this one.

tbh I'm pretty shy when it comes to reaching out/going into other peoples inboxes, so i really appreciate that you drop by!! which is to say, the individual tag is worth it to make sure i dont miss you in the shuffle.

[spaceratprodigy]

OC Superlatives Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @the-lastcall 💖💫

The Favorite

I don't think this comes as a surprise to anyone. Faith is so very dear to me she is quite literally a part of myself. She brings me so much comfort and has been an outlet for me for the past like? 3 years?? Gosh look at how far she's come. She helps remind me that everything is going to be okay.

The Oldest

While technically I have some ocs that are even older than her, Cookie is my first self insert lmao. Nowadays I don't think any but a couple of y'all would even know who she is and that makes me a lil sad! She's very special to me and was very beloved by people who meant a lot to me. Very few know me and her story well enough to see how on the nose it is an escape from my own life. Not shown here but she has burn scars on her right wrist/forearm. An exaggeration of my own burn scar in the same place. Cookie has always been there as a way to not feel alone, to see myself in someone who has been through similar experiences and made it out through the other side. To remember why it's so important to keep fighting.

The Newest

Okay maybe not the newest.. but Iris is the newest oc I've actually been putting a lot of time and love and effort into! I love her a lot! I know I still don't talk abt her as in depth as I would like to but I swear she's got more going on than I share. I just can't help wanting to draw her so self-indulgently full of love all the time, it makes me happy to have silly fun! I really really have been meaning to doodle her more vulnerable and serious moments because she's got a lot of grief in her heart she isn't letting out.

The Meanest

I suppose she was going to have to make her debut sooner or later.. okay but I genuinely don't have much to say abt Poppy. She's been a priv exclusive oc for a lil while and she's not developed.. like.. at all.. I ramble about her a LOT but I'm also literally every day scrapping everything bc my ideas are constantly changing so she's fr not ready yet lmao. Even I don't fully know what her deal is yet! But I can confirm she is the most ruthless (should I admit she's my lowkey nuka-world raider oc I made specifically to fuck Porter Gage nasty as hell likeeeee)

The Softest

Maril is my BABY!! She does not have a mean bone in her body and the closest she'll ever get is when she's defending her friends! She's so generous, she wants to help others any chance she gets and sees the best in everyone.

The Most Standoffish/Aloof

Faith is quite reserved, honestly. Becoming Captain wasn't exactly the life she chose for herself but it was the role she had to take on. For Phin, for her crew, for Halcyon, it was something she would grow to take seriously in time. She doesn't like to let on just how stressed and overwhelmed she is until she crashes and burns and has to be forced to rest before her stomach ulcer incapacitates her (speaking from experience, it's excruciating). When allowed to, she's pretty quiet and keeps to herself. She was never exactly the most social person and struggled to maintain any sort of relationship with anybody. She'll eventually warm up to her crew and come out of her shell. Sometimes you just need to meet the right band of misfits who get you.

The Smartest

I swear this isn't just me tooting my own horn. I genuinely built her character favoring her intellect and charm. Her highest levels were in engineering, science, and medical. She's got a head on her shoulders, and she's often pretty lost in it. Faith loves to build and tinker with things and loves reading and learning as much as she can. One her own comforts, really. Maril and Iris aren't necessarily too far off on this one, Faith just has a little more under her belt. (Maril is also dedicated almost exclusively to being a gummi ship mechanic and Iris is best at carpentry!)

The Dumbest

Poppy is by no means a moron and shouldn't be underestimated. But her skills and knowledge are very strong in fighting and survival. She does however qualify as my dumbest oc here because.. she was my melee heavy idiot savant build! Girl never at any point got a single level put into her INT lmao.

The One I'd be Friends With

Hands down Maril would be the bestest friend I could ask for. She would be so sweet and considerate and let's be real.. I'd want to also work on the gummi ships with her. I love my gals but I just know Maril would be a ray of sunshine and a great friend. She'd also love to listen to me talk abt all my own projects and we could build so many cool things together..

[siriuslytproblem28]

tw: discutions of body image, food, b0dychecking and disordered eating?

ok since this is almost a journal for me, i need to vent abt something that i couldn't absolutely talk to anyone: i think i might have developed a tiny bit kind of disordered eating habits??? unintentionally

i mean, i feel like this is an exaggeration but i don't know how to call it...

for context, I'm a 20yo cis woman, though i question my gender every now and then, and I've spent my whole life being very thin, which started bothering me as i grew up and wanted to have more curves and fit into femine steryotypes of what a woman should look like. my body was always a small insecurity but i really didn't care that much untill the past few years. i started avoiding wearing clothes that showed how small my thighs and butt were, never wore leggings, but that was basically it. then, as i grew into my late teens and early adulthood, i gained a little bit of weight naturally, my boobs grew bigger, even though it never got to my lower body bc of genetics, i think.

i never really had a super flat stomach bc i sometimes struggle with bloating, and that never bothered me untill the past 2 or 3 years. when i noticed that i had gained a little weight i was really happy bc it's something that i wished would happen for so long, and i even tried to start working out at home to try get muscle. i tried to grow my lower body but trained inconsistent so didn't change much. i also tried to train my core to have a stronger but mainly flatter stomach, which also didn't do much since I wasn't training regularly. that went on until early this year, with me being generally ok with my body but recently uncomfortable with my belly. this caused me to start sucking in a lot since i mostly wear crop tops, avoiding tight dresses which i already did bc of lack of butt and hip dips, to the point in which i wore shapewear under a tight dress, and mind you, i had bloating but like a regular person, i didn't look pregnant or anything, i was still a thin person, only slightly bigger than before. I think i some point then i must have developed a tiny body image distortion, cause sometimes i saw myself as almost fat (I'm gonna highlight again the fact that i was still skinny, barely on my healthy bmi but still close to a low weight), but i was still eating mostly healthy. i did consume processed foods which is almost inevitable in my current situation but tried to balance them with healthier options, and i ate enough, sometimes even a little more when i was training, still under a healthy amount.,

but then, this year, i started going to college regularly, and since I study theater, we spent a lot of time on campus sometimes even a whole day, for weeks... since i started being away from home for so long, i started changing my eating habits a little...

at first, sometimes i didn't have much time to have breakfast so i only ate a little (later in the year i would leave without any at all, and mind you, i have low blood pressure and i ALWAYS loved eating breakfast), at lunch, i sometimes didn't wanna eat till i was satisfied either cause i would bloat (and this is when i started wearing lower rise jeans and didn't wanna be with a belly) or bc i have fast metabolism and didn't wanna have to use the bathroom to, yk... (which i started being more comfortable with later in the year), i sometimes went the whole afternoon without eating (which, again, is so weird for me bc I'm the type of person who needs food every 3 to 4 hours), and would only have dinner at home, after like 7 to 11 hours after my last meal, or sometimes at the college earlier but still eating less than i normally would. i also begun to feel self conscious about the amount that i ate, even if it was normal, i realized that my friends all seemed to eat less so i begin serving less food or not eating all of what i served. i didn't realize much of this as it was happening, but it got to other places of my life: before going to parties i would drink teas to reduce my bloating and not eat much before going out to have a flatter stomach. still not noticing that i had all those bad habits. when i was at home, at weekends or days off, i ate regularly like i did before.

besides all this, the quality of what i ate also got worse. i would replace meals with snacks, sometimes higher in calories to make up for the time that i hadn't been eating but so much worse in nutrients, which was more time convenient or was what was available, and also cheaper.

one thing that probably contributed to this, was that i started having a much more active lifestyle. i was closer to being sedentary before, and this year i walked and ran soo much, i was having pratical classes in which we moved for hours, so i burned off more calories.

all of this only stroke me when i weight myself one day, 1 or 2 months ago, after i realized my stomach was in deed smaller and some of my pants and skirts looked bigger on me, and i felt more comfortable wearing low rise jeans, and simultaneously more insecure abt my small butt and thighs, that had gotten even smaller. so i went to weight myself and realized i had lost like 5/6 kg in like 4 months, i wanna say? which isn't a lot, but even at my highest weight i was still very skinny. then suddenly, couple of weeks ago i started seeing myself much skinnier than i had seen before . when last year i thought i was so much bigger, more average than earlier, them went to not really realizing i was losing weight, last week it just downed on me that i am looking like i did when i was in my early teens in terms of body fat and muscle. my boobs are still bigger bc i only got them later and they're mostly mammary glands than fat, and obviously i look like a young woman, but i started seeing my chest bones years after saying goodbye to them, also my clavicles and my shoulder bones look so prominent, my ribs never stopped showing but theyre more visible now, and as i said, my legs got skinnier and the tiny butt i had went away, and finally the point of my whole disturbance here: i got a much flatter stomach, I don't even seem to be bloating that much. i have a little more fat, like a tiny pouch which i think it's due to my poor choices in food recently, but my waist is smaller, i was certain when i measured myself.

so, my big thing here is that i hate how my body looks now, even if it isn't that big of a change, but i feel like my progress in weight gain was lost, and i feel like i look kind of sick, idk, i feel the effects on my health, i get sick more often, i get dizzy and nauseas a lot more than before, and i started bruising very easily which didn't happen before. i haven't done a blood draw to see how my actual levels of vitamins, colesterol and everything else is since i got to this pattern of unhealthy habits so idk how bad it actually might have turned to...

the obvious thing here would be to change my habits, start eating more and healthier, start actually exercing and since i do love food and don't have a bad relationship with eating itself, all this weight loss was unintentional and it makes me uncomfortable that i allowed this to happen to myself, but there's one small problem here: i adore how my waist looks. it's so very conflicting that i think i look uglier this skinny but also am kind of impressed by how small my waist is and do really enjoy it. I don't wanna lose this. Don't want it to grow bigger. ik this isn't a healthy thought but I can't control it. (btw I don't have access to therapy rn🫠) i

honestly, i think that if i didn't think the other parts of my body looked bad bc of the weightloss I wouldn't even consider changing my habits bc i would be loving my flat belly and that would be the only focus.

I'm starting my summer vacation now so I'll stay mostly at home, which probably will make me eat better and will try to exercise for a stronger body since this is really useful even for my classes, but I'm scared of not looking like i want to look, or not liking it when i get to a higher weight. i don't fear gaining, i really want to, but I don't wanna get a big stomach. since I don't have many curves i feel like having a tiny waist makes the illusion of bigger hips and i feel genuinely so much better with the way my stomach looks rn, i started wearing clothes that i could never only a couple months ago.

i had never experienced a weight loss, since my body took years to gain something it just always stayed like that, and i didn't realize it happening, which scares me to think about. i also don't understand how i want to gain healthy weight but also feel a little mesmerized by how skinny i look, how close to some girls that are used for inspiration in 3d forums i ended up looking. i know a lot abt 3d content on the internet bc i have a best friend who struggled with it and it kinda became a hyper fixation for me every once in a while. whenever i saw something abt it i would devour the content and it would make me feel a little bad about myself but i wouldn't act upon it. i knew it wasn't healthy for me as a "healthy" person to see that kind of content, but sometimes i saw something that really triggered me and so i went and seeked more of it, can't explain why...

yeah so idk what to do now, and if I'm being super dramatic here or what, I don't wanna mention this to my friends cause most of them hace struggled with real 3ds and serious stuff and I don't even know what is it with me...

can someone give me a clue? does anyone ever been through this or knows wtf is going on...

[tohokuu]

babe what happened… are you okay?!

okay so before i start, i come from a conservative pakistani muslim household. it's the kind of place where wearing shorts to bed make it look like you probably fuck around with guys.

i went to pakistan last summer and have a lot of my cousins on snapchat. i barely use snapchat but every once in a while, i post a selfie or an update on life or something. anyway, i felt really pretty yesterday and i posted a video of me.

thing is, i was wearing a black tank top and a thin hoodie on top but my breasts are big so my cleavage was out and i took the video from a high angle so you can def see stuff but it wasn't anything super bad.

now i have 3 diff snap stories. a public one, a main one and the private stories. the private story is obviously cfs only. the main is my entire snap but it excludes all my cousins and the public one is for literally everyone. whenever i post, i post on the public one but yesterday bc of my clothes, i posted to the main so my cousins wouldn't see it. but somehow my cousins werent fucking blocked off the story and a few of them saw it. some of my cousins are cool and some aren't. two of them screenrecorded it. i honestly completely forgot about the post until my mom barged into my room at 4 in the morning shoving her phone in my face.

it was a whatsapp chat where my uncle (dads older brother) sent it to my mom and my dad. he sent my mom a very angry voice message about my upbringing and how my mom should be ashamed of herself for raising a daughter like me. my uncle and my dad don't have the greatest relationship but me and my uncle get along very well. he loves me very much and so do i. its just that im so ashamed that he saw that kind of picture of me. i always dress very modestly when i'm in pakistan and whenever i post a selfie or something.

what's crazy to me is that he sent that shit straight to my mom and dad... my mom saw it this morning during fajr prayers and she deleted it off my dads phone so i don't believe he saw it and i also blocked my uncle off my dads phone so he doesn't call him.

i talked to my cousin and asked why she screenshotted and she said it was so she could ask me to remove the video because it wasn't decent. i was so stressed the whole time and i apologized so much for what i did and i begged her to calm her dad down and delete the photo off his phone and to not call my father about it. i have uni coming up in a few weeks and i truly do not have the money to pay all my tuition myself. like my dad, my mom and i are all joining money together in order to pay. if my dad finds out about this, he might marry me off, send me back home and marry me off, cut contact w me and kick me out or he might just kill me.

there isn't much to be shameful abt than the fact that my uncle saw it... my uncle and aunt are huge gossipers and even tho i dont feel as though she would go around and tell people this kind of stuff, she's also not very trustworthy. my uncle is petty and likes to bring up bad things into random conversations. i begged my cousin and she calmed me down and all but i dont trust these people. my aunt told my mom that it's okay and i made a mistake and i realized it and she also told my mom that i had expressed my shame regarding my uncle seeing it and he was very happy that i acknowledged my actions. she said it's okay to love your body and be proud but there's a limit and i crossed it. but she said that she wouldn't tell my dad and that it'll blow over soon but i dont fucking believe her at all. my aunt has been my moms biggest enemy since she got married into that house and who's to say she isn't mine too?

the fact that they have this video of me at all is so so fucking bad. i could barely sleep after i saw it. my chest hurts and it feels like something heavy is on it. my stomach keeps flipping and i feel like throwing up all the time. i don't know how long this will take to blow over but this is absolutely horrible. im wishing so hard that this is just a dream and i can just wake up from it at any given moment but it isn't so i have no idea what to do. my mom hates me right now and she's angry again. i don't know if my dad knows about this. i'm just so so broken up over this. i don't know what to do.

[especdreamy]

See when I say i'm not very smart i mean it like. Well technically I AM smart according to Some Tests™ but like. Who cares anyways I remember how years ago I used to. Microwave the butter slightly every morning. Because it was winter and I would want to have a buttered toeast but the butter would always be really cold and hard to spread. So I would microwave it. So it gets softer. My mom told me to stop doing that so I did. But that doesn't solve the issue of my butter is too hard to spread it and. Well during that time we kept it inside a plastic tupperware container sometimes, other times in a little like square dish. Or whatever. And that specific morning it was a tupperware contained butter.

And I was like. Okay so how am i meant to warm up the butter without microwaving it. My smartass (/s) decided to place the Plastic Tupperware Container With Butter In It on top of the toaster while it was toasting my rbead. I thought it was very smart like! I get toast and softened butter! Anyways nkt very happy to notice the tupperware started melting off. In my defense i thought it was like. Heat resistant plastic. Anyways.