#My only complaint is that he keeps running off whenever a discount is happening

[manycowboypirates]

I GOT HIM I GOT THE THING

[luckyblackcloverrr]

The Black Bulls and their bullshit in the modern time: jobs I guess – Part. 3

Finally the last part is done! Thanks for following the short series of my cursed imagination until now. Here's more headcanons that weren't supposed to be headcanons :D. I made them a little longer than the previous parts, and I hope you all enjoy the mess that is Charmy's restaurant!

Magna Swing

works at the counter in Charmy’s restaurant

nobody knows how he got that job when he shows up to work looking like a teen delinquent going through puberty

keeps his sunglasses on even in indoors

had to learn how to use the cashier machine for the first time

accidentally repeated the order with the machine too many times and the total came out to a four-digit number

the customer got a discount in the end

there was one time when the machine malfunctioned and they thought they had to buy a new one

Magna came in and gave the thing a big smack, and it miraculously started to work again

Noelle gave him the title 'God of Fixing Things Through Abuse', shortened to 'FTTA God'

and now everybody at work refers to him with that title

he doesn’t like it because he’d rather be referred to as something cooler, but he lets them call him that anyway

has very short temper, will not hesitate to call out rude customers

someone once made an offhanded comment about Secré who was too busy to care and he went OFF

both Noelle and Secré had to work together to calm him down when he threatened to fight them outside of the restaurant

wanted to help out in the kitchen because he thinks he has a “thing” with fire, and Charmy let him try when working hours were over

proceeded to set the whole kitchen on fire and from then on Charmy forbade him from going into the kitchen ever again

convinced Charmy to buy a TV and put it in the restaurant so that he can watch baseball games when working

but he once switched the channel to a cartoon show and lost the remote

now he’s forever stuck on watching Miraculous Ladybug

Luck Voltia

King of Working Part Time Jobs™

works at every single shop known to date and jumps between each shop from time to time

sometimes he’ll be in the boutique:

running around the whole store to help customers look for their needed items because he didn’t memorise where each section was

and proceeds to mess up the folded clothes and now Henry has to fold them again

sometimes he’ll be in the restaurant:

ordering and serving the customers their food, even though he doesn’t remember which order belongs to which table

and also cleaning the tables when the customers finish eating

but it’s the best thing he can do there because absolutely no one trusts him in working in the kitchen

and sometimes he’ll be in the café:

bringing out coffee and dessert orders during rush hour because the others are too busy taking orders and making them

and when the shop clears up after a while he spends time watching Finral and Grey brew the drinks

the other bulls wonder how he hasn’t been fired from any of his jobs yet

but that’s because he surprisingly does well for the roles he was assigned to (and extremely fast too)

the only time he has messed up was when he ran too fast when serving food and he tripped and it spilled all over the place

and he went “oops! hahaha ;P”

Magna watching from the counter: i’m gonna kill him

stole the TV remote from Magna when he wasn’t looking and brought it to the boutique so he couldn’t switch channels

always competes with Magna on who can earn the most money

and it somehow always ends in a draw because Secré earns the most out of all of them

Secré Swallowtail

waitress at Charmy’s restaurant pt. 1

was dragged into working there, doesn’t even know why she’s doing it in the first place

but she works well, and store would have fallen apart if she wasn’t there

unanimously voted Employee of the Month every month

takes part in everything; including cleaning, serving, making drinks, settling payments, calming down crying children, calming down a hyper Luck

you name it, and she probably does it or has done it before for the sake of the restaurant

unlike Noelle and Magna, she's extremely unbothered

doesn’t matter if there’s someone being rude or causing a ruckus, she shrugs it off like it’s nothing and just moves on

she’s focused on doing her job and her job only

will only take action if she is touched physically or if other customers are visibly bothered

was the person who consoled Magna when he found out the TV remote went missing

but didn’t tell him that he could actually switch the channels without using the remote

death stares everyone to work when they are slacking off

the person who forced everyone into practicing fire drills in case of emergencies

hums the opening of Miraculous Ladybug because she has heard it playing too much from the speakers

and also because Magna screams the words of the song every time the show airs

is secretly thankful for Luck whenever he visits for his part-time shift

because he picked up the mechanisms of the restaurant SUPER FAST, and things run surprisingly much smoother with him around

lets Noelle style her hair whenever they have free time

ends up looking like a chicken because Noelle has no prior experience in hairstyling despite showing interest in it

and also because she used too much hair spray

Noella Silva

waitress at Charmy’s restaurant pt. 2

claims that she is too high class for this job

but next thing you know she’s putting on her customer service voice when ordering and serving food

took awhile to learn how to work in a restaurant

she couldn't hold the food tray and walk at the same time

and she kept serving the dishes to the wrong table

blamed it on the customers for confusing her, and Secré showed up afterwards to apologise for her behaviour

definitely had 'How to become a Waitress 101' lessons with Secré

takes absolutely no shit from anyone

doesn’t matter how much authority they have around the area, she will not hesitate to kick them out if they don’t treat others properly

would probably spill water on a customer and blame it on the customer for being in the way

becomes more diligent whenever Asta brings the children he's babysitting to the restaurant

also keeps tabs on his table just in case anyone starts to hit on him

rich, but doesn't take it for granted

because she doesn't understand the importance of money and how much she actually has

treats everyone to ice cream, especially on hot days

sometimes pays for the restaurant's bills because she insists

Magna always complains about her flexing her wealth

he shuts up when he gets the ice cream though

claims that she has absolutely no interest in cartoons and thinks they are childish

but is the person who sits at an empty table complaining about how dense the characters in Miraculous Ladybug are when it isn't rush hour

accidentally set off the fire alarm once

because she got scared when lighting a match and threw the lit match at Magna

payed for his motorcycle repair as an apology

Charmy Pappitson

owner of the most popular restaurant downtown

customers ask for her autograph and a photo with her sometimes

a very talented chef that everybody appreciates and respects

a cute, smiley person when greeting new customers and always keeps up with regulars

offers the most amazing dishes for a very reasonable price

whenever she has the time, she steps out of the kitchen to chat with the customers about food and check up on the other bulls (just in case)

but when it comes to the kitchen OHOHO

she gets VERY serious about cooking

in dire situations, she’ll stay cooped up in the kitchen and won’t come out until she has made the perfect dish

has several other chefs cooking in there with her, but no one has ever met them before

though the food comes out good so nobody questions it

does not trust any of the black bulls to cook food after Magna set the kitchen on fire

there is a framed photo of her hung up in the restaurant where everyone can see it

whenever she’s serving food, she has to hold back from eating it all

Secre and Noelle are her impulse controllers, if not the food will never make it to the customers’ table

makes desserts as a hobby and gives them to the customers for free sometimes as service

also donates some food to the local church every month, and offers more if she sees Marie

once dropped a freshly baked cupcake and cried about it for 2 hours

forgets to pay the workers sometimes

weekly gatherings with all the Black Bulls happen at Charmy’s restaurant

that time is usually when she tries new recipes and ask for everyone’s opinions

literally a whole party goes down every week at her place

there are noise complaints every time, but she ignores them because Finral is probably already apologizing for them

Parts - 1 | 2 | 3

[dreamonhunters]

YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO LET GO

trigger warnings // medical procedures, blood & injury, alcohol mentions

my first @badthingshappenbingo​ fic!! hurt/comfort georgenap for the masses...you’re welcome

read it here on ao3 !

“You’re getting blood on my carpet,” George complains, but Sapnap doesn’t respond.

By now, this is standard procedure. Sapnap runs until there’s a bullet in his shoulder or a knife in his gut and by dusk he’s on George’s doorstep. There’s one reason for this. George is the man who can piece him back together and let him leave the next day pretending they never spoke. Rinse and repeat. It’s a fucked up little system they have, but it's enough.

(Besides, it’s not like Sapnap trusts anybody else with George’s level of medical proficiency to come within ten feet of him with a needle and thread.)

“‘m not,” Sapnap mutters, and George ignores him.

Crimson liquid runs down his face in rivulets from a jagged gash on his cheek, thin t-shirt clinging to the contours of his body. A fine sheen of sweat coats his skin. Sapnap can try to play it off as nothing all he likes, and George will gaze right through him.

“Come on,” he sighs, inspecting the sorry state of the man before him. Sapnap grumbles something under his breath. Probably cursing his name, knowing Sapnap, because there’s nothing he despises more than being turned into a charity case.

Maybe this is how things would’ve ended for George. Escaped in the nick of time, Dream always tells him, as George wraps thick bandages around his best friend’s bullet wounds. Right before he got in too deep, past the point of no return. You can only run from dead bodies and stolen identities for so long before they return to haunt you. Not like the skeletons in George’s closet don’t keep him up for endless nights, tossing and turning and staring at a ceiling he swears is painted with blood.

When he was eighteen and starting his first year at med school, George hadn’t expected much. A degree, a stable job at some local medical centre, maybe even a nice family to come home to every night. His idle daydreams quickly morph into blood covering his hands and desperately working to stitch up a gaping wound that’s bleeding far too fast.

Maybe those first three years of medical school were his greatest downfall. Too many people know his name now, too many to ever let him disappear off the radar without a word. Instead he lives in purgatory forever, eternally guilty by association.

He doesn’t charge Sapnap. It’s not like the man has much to begin with. Taking money from the guy seems needlessly cruel. Dream pays him enough to get by, even if it means living the shittest downtown apartment money can buy and living on microwaveable meals from the discount aisle.

They don't talk much about their pasts. George will never ask how Sapnap ended up like this, and in turn Sapnap will never tell. There’s no sense in trying to intrude where he isn’t welcome. A silent offer will always stand, of an ear to listen should Sapnap ever want it. He doesn’t. That’s fine.

Blood pools at Sapnap’s feet, seeping into the cream coloured carpet. That’ll be a bastard to clean, George notes idly. One arm loops around Sapnap’s waist, shoulder under his armpit, and George guides him to the bathroom. Bloodstained tiles are far easier to deal with, he decides.

A pained grunt escapes Sapnap as he collapses onto the toilet seat, but not before he’s caught a glimpse of himself in the cracked mirror and examined the damage through narrowed eyes. If he's still conscious at this point, George knows he’ll be fine, and it’s a simple matter of stitching him back together again. They’ve been here a thousand times before.

George moves on autopilot. An extensive medical kit is tucked into the back corner of his bathroom cabinet, an assortment of bottles and jars and boxes hiding it from plain view. George retrieves the plastic box with practised ease, rounded edges pressing into the delicate skin of his palms.

“What happened?” George asks, tiredness flooding his voice. Holds his hand out expectantly to Sapnap, waiting until he can feel the cold metallic bite of a switchblade resting there. The blade cuts through the cheap polyester of Sapnap’s shirt, the bloodied fabric falling to the ground beside him. The man inhales sharply at the sudden coldness, the fine hairs on his arms standing up straight.

“Nothin’,” Sapnap mutters, chocolate-coloured gaze fixed firmly on the tiles. Blood runs into the grout, staining it a murky red-brown.

George waits.

“Just some stupid fuckin’ gang kids.”

“You don’t have to fight everyone you ever meet,” George says matter-of-factly, inspecting the extent of Sapnap’s injuries. The worst of it seems to be a deep laceration in his torso, thank God. Everything else is superficial, by the looks of it.

“I don’t,” the man grumbles, a blatant lie. Otherwise he wouldn't be here  bleeding out on George’s bathroom floor every other week. Sometimes George considers having him schedule a regular appointment. “They woulda' killed me.”

Getting into an argument with Sapnap is futile, especially when he’s in such a foul mood. The man packs a solid punch, one that George has been on the receiving end of a good few times over the years. And so the Brit works in silence, wiping away dried blood with a soft cloth soaked in isopropyl alcohol. He’s used to the sting on antiseptics and the occasional hiss escaping whenever George runs over a deeper cut.

“Ow, fuck off,” Sapnap finally snaps, when George presses down a little too hard beside one of his wounds.

“I need to stitch this up,” George continues on, entirely ignoring Sapnap’s complaints. It’s far too deep to simply bandage up and forget about, as much as he's certain Sapnap would love him to.

George rocks back onto his haunches, digging through his medical kit once again. He’s prepared for a damn apocalypse, Sapnap had once commented. That’s probably true, George considers, when he glances down at the heavy box in front of him. It's practically brimming with thick bandages and foil packets of pills. Dream has powerful contacts, ones who can get George all the medical-grade supplies he could ever desire. Of course the man will take advantage of anything he can get his hands on.

It would appear he’s better prepared for an apocalypse where nobody gets seriously injured.

“I don’t have any lidocaine,” George mutters, more to himself than Sapnap. It’s not like he doesn’t know what that means - a whiskey-soaked rag between his teeth to bite down on when the pain gets too much, the burn of alcohol a pitiful distraction from the flaring agony in his side.

Sapnap groans, glaring daggers down at his friend. “You better be fuckin’ joking. How the fuck do you run out of lidocaine?” he snaps. George knows it’s the pain overwhelming his senses, turning him nasty - Sapnap can be quite the sweetheart when he wants to be. After all, nobody is forcing George to help him.

George doesn’t bother trying to respond. No response will be satisfactory, and quite honestly George can sympathise with him. There’s no joy in stitching somebody up while they writhe in agony beneath his hands, biting back their screams with a sodden cloth. Instead he pushes to his feet, brushing off his jeans, and offers Sapnap a weak smile.

“I’ll be back,” he promises, despite how pointless it is. Sapnap grunts unintelligibly in response.

George has never been a heavy drinker, despite the few bottles that line the back of a kitchen cabinet. Only a small collection of cheap spirits, but the lack of any mixers says a lot about their use.

He buys budget vodka, the type that tastes like a toxic cocktail of drain cleaner and nail polish remover. Dream likes it, shockingly. Only when it’s past midnight, after a job gone horrifically wrong, and the pair are sat under the flickering yellow light of his kitchen at an empty dining table. Dream spills his guts between swigs of poison while George nods sympathetically. His friend can drink it straight from the bottle without so much as a wince.

At least it saves on painkillers.

It’s also a natural antiseptic, if you’re desperate enough. George would know. He’s tried every last alternative to traditional medical supplies. The bottle clinks against others as he carefully manoeuvres it out of the cupboard, placing it on the floor beside him. Sapnap won’t want it - says he despises the taste of vodka, reminds him of a childhood he’s spent half his life running from.

A half empty bottle of whiskey stands in the right corner of his cabinet, obscured by the vodka moments ago. A thin layer of dust coats the glass. The honeyed liquid swishes as he pulls it out, the vodka replacing it. Sapnap’s personal preference. At least cheap whiskey doesn’t taste so foul.

He closes the cabinet with a soft click and gets to his feet.

Sapnap hasn’t moved, the blue light from his phone screen washing out his lightly tanned complexion. He stares blankly down at the device, not bothering to acknowledge George’s arrival. The pair don't speak until George snags a cloth from the box and uncaps the whiskey.

“You’re twenty this year,” George states, pouring whiskey on the fabric. It comes out too fast, soaking his hands and dripping all over the tiles.

“Yeah.”

“Don’t you wanna get your shit together by then?” he presses, handing Sapnap the dripping cloth. The man chooses not to answer.

George doesn’t press any further, instead busying himself with preparations. A pair of latex gloves cover his hands, fine suturing needles and a small pair of scissors are laid out on a sheet of thin plastic. His fingers are quick and nimble and he handles his tools with a  mesmerising ease.

“There’s more to life than this,” George comments after a short silence. Sapnap sits up straight as George approaches, stuffing the rag into his mouth and biting down hard. Metal pierces through skin, Sapnap howls through the fabric, and from there everything becomes a blur.

Throughout his fleeting time at medical school George’s professors had praised him for neat work. Dream pays him for the exact same thing. He loses himself in his work, hyperfocusing on the task at hand until it’s perfect. In those moments the external world simply does not exist and there is nothing but the flutter of his pulse and the uneven breathing of his patient beneath him.

Normally, Sapnap barely makes a sound when George stitches him up. Doesn’t even flinch. Makes George’s work a thousand times easier. There’s always a few colourful curses, of course, but that’s just part of the job.

This time is far different. Sapnap writhes beneath him, making it exceptionally difficult to tug together his raw, bloodstained flesh. George mutters to himself under his breath, reminding himself how to deal with this. It’s fine - he’s had jumpy patients before, and this is no different. Sapnap’s groans are stifled by the rag in his mouth, the alcohol burn offering little distraction from the white hot pain lancing through his torso.

Even though he cleaned the wound hardly twenty minutes ago, fresh blood makes the skin slippery. George’s work is messy, far from his usual standard of neat stitching, barely traceable unless you specifically search for the little metallic thread fusing skin back together. Sapnap is trembling. Tears run down the man’s face, dripping off his chin and onto George’s bloody hands.

Oh, the guilt. It’s not easy being the only medic in the city who didn’t buy their degree from some shady underground dealer in the backroom of a seedy downtown club. He doesn’t even have a degree. No, he has three years of medical training, approximately double what any other “field medic” he's seen around has. And yet he’s nowhere near even half qualified, thrown in over his head to save the lives of teenagers who can’t keep themselves out of trouble longer than a week and men who know nothing but a life of illegal warfare.

He may be helping Sapnap, sure. But the tear tracks that stain his face make it hard to believe that the work he does is any good. All it does is allow Sapnap to go another day. To get himself stabbed in a different place on a different day at a different time, and George is perfectly complicit in pretending he’s some saving grace for broken teens who want to play at being big boys.

George isn’t saving anyone.

Flashes of silver catch in the cool artificial lighting, buried neatly in tanned flesh. George rocks back onto his haunches, examines his work, and nods. His eyes are slightly red, wet with tears that were never his to cry.

“Let me bandage it,” he says quickly, before Sapnap has time to think of a snarky remark. It’s more protection than to stem any bleeding. Tomorrow morning, before the sun has even broken the horizon, Sapnap will be right back on the same streets that leave him a bloodied, broken mess at George’s feet. It’s like some kind of sick addiction.

“You’re so fuckin’ fussy,” Sapnap chides, but there’s no heat in his voice. Just exhaustion, plain and simple, with which George can sympathise. He doesn’t question the puffiness of George’s eyes. Doesn’t intrude where he knows he’s not welcome. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not chancing it,” George replies firmly. He’s already pulling a roll of gauzy bandages from the box, medical tape in his other hand. “You’ll pull them out, or sleep weird, or do something. I know what you’re like. Sapnap.”

Sapnap huffs irritably but he doesn’t argue any further. His back hits the cool tiled wall, and he retrieves his phone from beside him. He swipes his sleeve across his face roughly the moment George looks away. Thinks George won’t notice.

George is simply going through the motions. Shaking fingers wrap flimsy bandages around Sapnap’s torso, microporous tape holding the material in lace. It’s a distraction from his rapidly spiralling thoughts, to busy his hands with work he understands rather than leave himself alone with thoughts he doesn’t want to comprehend.

“Can I stay?” Sapnap asks, as George snips the last of the tape and smoothes it down against tanned skin. The sun is setting outside, orange and pink streaking the sky through the distorted bathroom window. Rarely does Sapnap ask the question - he waits for an invitation he can begrudgingly accept, muttering something about not needing charity handouts. George tends to tune that part out.

It takes George a moment to process the question, and even longer to take in the look in Sapnap’s eyes. It isn’t fear. Sapnap isn’t capable of fear, or so he likes to claim. Maybe something akin to anxiety. He’s seen that look before, reflected back at him in a grimy little mirror. George leans back, mismatched eyes meeting deep brown, and he nods silently. He isn’t quite sure he can form words without his entire life story spilling out, every anxiety and late night terror pouring from his lips and staining the already bloodied tiles. He’s trembling.

George packs his things away without a word, clearly finished. There is nothing more to say, and Sapnap does not push to make meaningless small talk.

Sapnap gets to his feet, a quiet hiss of pain escaping him as he jostles sore injuries. George doesn’t bother to acknowledge the man’s exit. He knows where to go - there’s a spare room at the end of the hallway to the left of George’s own bedroom. It’s one of those rooms that’s rarely ever empty, considering the volume of patients and friends that pass through George’s household on a near daily basis. Drawers are filled with random articles of clothing, varied in size, left by the room’s previous inhabitants and sometimes collected from charity shops by George. He likes to be prepared.

Two hours pass. George moves to the kitchen. Rummages through his freezer for the most appetising pre-packaged meal he owns. Maybe he’ll treat himself to heating it up in the oven, rather than blast it through the microwave for twenty minutes and try to ignore the vaguely plastic taste that ruins the whole idea of lasagna. He does have a guest, after all, and he uses the excuse of a stressful day to validate his feelings.

He doesn’t hear from Sapnap until he’s seated at the dining table, chin resting in one palm. His oven buzzes in the background, dim yellow light barely visible behind the blackened grease baked on to the glass door.

“Hey,” Sapnap’s voice cuts through his reverie, startling George. He jumps, turns, shoots the man an apologetic smile.

“Hey.”

Sapnap is wearing different clothes now - a soft. pale blue t-shirt, two sizes too big, and a pair of sweatpants George doesn’t remember buying. The blood is gone, the cut on his cheek nothing more than a scabby memory, and George can pretend that the outline of bandages beneath the thin fabric is something much more innocent.

“Are you hungry?” George asks, as though he hadn’t had the foresight to cook two meals.

“Yeah, yeah… You sure ya' don’t mind me staying?”

There’s concern in Sapnap’s eyes. His voice holds an unfamiliar weight, a genuineness that George sees far too little of. The pity Sapnap offers him makes George’s stomach twist, nauseatingly bitter and somehow filled with strange gratitude.

“It’s fine,” he answers, tongue thick in his mouth. “It’s carbonara. I hope that’s alright.”

“Yeah. Thanks, George.”

It will be. Sapnap isn’t picky - he’ll eat just about anything George places in front of him. Hell, it’ll probably be the best meal he eats all week. He takes a seat across from George, leans back in his chair so the front legs swing off the ground, and hums. Always hums the same little tune, one George never recognises.

“You’re twenty this year,” George repeats. It sounds like he’s trying to convince himself of that fact, like he doesn’t quite believe it.

“Yeah,” Sapnap replies. “What about it?”

George lets out a soft sigh through his nose, fingers intertwined on the table. “Don't you want out?”

Sapnap frowns. “Uh, whaddya mean? Out?”

“Out of this. Do something with your life.”

It’s what George craves. Release, complete release, from his life of bullet wounds and bloodshed and constantly glancing over his shoulder. A life that slipped through his fingers before he quite realised what was happening, and now it’s nothing more than a fever dream. Maybe he can live vicariously through Sapnap, instead. That would be enough.

“I dunno,” Sapnap replies, the slightest hint of confusion lacing his tone. “Never really thought about it.”

“You should,” George says. There’s an edge to his voice, one of exhaustion and desperation. “While you still have time. I can help you.”

“I dropped outta' high school. Not like I can go anywhere without a diploma,” he points out bitterly.

George shakes his head, pushing away from the table to check on the floor. His chair scrapes harshly against the scratched wooden floor. “I can help you get your equivalency. There are options, Sapnap, and I know people with money.”

Sapnap scoffs, wordlessly. There’s no response to that, clearly, and George pities him. The man thinks there’s nothing more for him, no hope of a normal future. Whatever that means.

“Aren’t you tired?”

This is the most George has ever pushed. He toes a fine line between courtesy and concern, always too apprehensive to risk crossing it. Sapnap doesn’t say anything more than he needs to, and yet George finds himself craving more. To know the man, properly, to understand him.

“Yeah.”

The words are heavy and bitter, like a lead weight on Sapnap’s shoulders. Silently, George understands, but he cannot voice his thoughts. There are no words to describe that kind of burden.

“I can help you,” George repeats, voice hushed. It’s almost reverent, like the words he speaks are sacred and holy. He pleads for his freedom through Sapnap, a redemption that will never be his own. “I know people who can get you out. Please, Sapnap.”

Sapnap is silent. The hum of his oven fills the silence with white noise.

A heavy sigh. “I’ll think about it,” he relents.

They eat in silence. George cannot push Sapnap any further, not without striking a chord within himself that will regurgitate too many painful memories. Sapnap doesn’t have anything to say. The silence isn’t uncomfortable. A little tense, maybe, but hardly unbearable. Sapnap is standing before George has finished rinsing the little plastic containers their food came in.

“I'll think about it,” he repeats. There’s sadness in his eyes.

“Thank you,” George smiles, genuine.

Sapnap leaves without another word, and George hears the faint click of a door closing. That’s the last he hears of Sapnap for the rest of the evening.

He doesn’t sleep well that night. George’s mind races, but not with the same anxiety that normally occupies his sleepless nights. No, this is a new worry - how to save Sapnap from getting himself in too deep. There are a thousand different scenarios he can play out on his mind, different faces and voices occupying the early hours of the morning.

Why he’s so invested in the man is an entirely different scenario he can unpack at another time. Or never, if he’s being really honest with himself. He’s simply doing what's right, George tells himself, looking out for another person in a vulnerable position. That is as deep as it runs.

George is lying, and when he finally drifts into a dreamless sleep, his last thought is of himself, at the same age as Sapnap, with blood across his face and a knife in his hands. Waiting for a salvation that never came.

[braindamageforbeginners]

More FAQ

So, before we go on to the main event, I did see my favorite (or maybe second or third favorite) oncologist recently for a check-up; Radiation Oncologist. My “Top Three” rating might seem like a slight, but I estimate I’ve probably had at least a dozen different oncologists and surgeons over the years (all of whom are, professionally, world-class). She gets bonus points for thinking of “Captain America” with my new hair, which is definitely the look I was going for. She also gave me a clean bill of health and made a later appointment, and mentioned that, usually, patients who make it a year get recommended for observation. Again, I don’t think the medical establishment is prepared for someone successfully completing surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, then shouting, “What more ya got?!” Of course, by typing that, I’ve probably guaranteed I’ll get hit by a truck tomorrow. Anyway, unlike previous versions, this FAQ is actually inspired by questions I’ve received from various sources.

1. What is the ideal l reaction to you, as a cancer patient/survivor, when you tell people you have cancer? Ideally, that you have a proven cure for cancer. Or have ties to a research group working on that. If not buy me a beer and have a little patience with me if I’m a little slower or grumpier today. Again, if you are completely stumped, go for, “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?” Or just show up with a pot-roast (never discount the June Cleaver approach). Really, there’s only two bad options here: indifference, or ostracizing the patient. That latter one might seem like an obvious no-no that anyone would know not to do, but, if you’ve ever not invited someone to an event or hike or whatever because you’re worried about their health, you’ve unwittingly participated. Just give us a call and we may come, or we may not. If all else fails, just send money. I know that might seem crass, but here’s the deal: the leading form of bankruptcy in the US is medical bankruptcy. It’s nigh-impossible to get back to a normal existence after something this disruptive; adding a tinge of deb-slavery makes it worse.

2. What’s Temodar really like?

Really horrible, surprisingly. You know who’s actually more-qualified to answer that than me? I mean, apart from an actual, qualified professional? Breast cancer patients. It’s not commonly given as a front-line drug, but if breast cancer starts metastasizing, I’ve heard it’s not unusual to add Temodar to the mix. Physically, it’s not too terrible - you’ll probably get constipated, but that’s usually treatable with OTC laxatives (or would be; I suffer from Unpredictable Bowel Syndcrome, so I usually reserve that sort of activity for quiet evenings at home, when I know my own bathroom is within reach). It’s painful, in a “whole body flu/hangover” kind of way, and it causes - in me and one other guy I know - weird insomnia. I’ve been able to kind of overcome both with medical marijuana, but you still don’t feel great. My main complaint with Temodar is “chemo brain’ - trouble focusing, or recalling details, etc. it’s a little too much like brain damage for me to ever be comfortable with. However, so far it’s not permanent, and it only seems to really hit the last few days of any cycle. However, it is disruptive enough that I don’t drive while on temodar, and I try to avoid any major life decisions or complex calculations or tasks.

3. With chemo/radiation, should I be worried about mouth sores, bleeding easily, or being immunocompromised?

Again, ask your doctor about that. I did and was told that as long as I washed my hands and avoided obviously sick people, I should be okay. Depending what chemo regimen you’re on, you’ll get blood-tested at various times. I trust the folks running me (as it were) to let me know the minute it looks like I might have a serious issue (one the nurses once got me a hand-out on potassium-rich foods when I tested low)(apparently, potato skins are better for potassium than bananas - who knew?), I’ve noticed I tend to bleed a little easier these days, but it’s hard to tell if that’s cancer treatment or me just being more aggressive shaving. Speaking of shaving, you’re not supposed to do that either, but, since one of the rarer side-effects of Temodar is leukemia (this is true), and one of the potential side-effects of radiation is,.. brain cancer (also true), I just decided the whole “Do this, don’t do that” list would become onerous and impossible to keep track of, and result in me living in a bubble (which would not only do nothing to help me in this struggle, and prevent me from making it to my book club). I’ve also been signed up for a number clinical trials (before anyone asks, all but two of those fell through; and I’m only in the marizomib trial and Radiation Oncologist’s neurocognitive evaluation program), and I know that - legally - the research coordinator (or nurse practitioner - I’m never really sure who gets that part of the job, unless it’s a form of administrative punishment or something) has to read to you all the potential side-effects of an experimental treatment. In the case of an experimental substance like Marizomib - which, remember, was still being tested for side effects when I signed on - that can take quite a whlle. In those situations where all the side-effects and dos and don’ts become overwhelming - which is more frequent than I’d admit - I’ve got your line: “I realize the side effects include lots of possibilities. I could die.This could make my disease worse. I could grow a third arm. But, of all the likeliest, dangerous side-effects, what are the ones I need to pay special attention to?” That usually trims a bit of fat off the safety warnings. My personal favorite in this area came when the Warlocks cleared me to go on Cycle 5 (that was kind of a big moment, because I’d had an iffy MRI before that one) SELF: Anything I should or shouldn’t do? Things I should stay away from? SENIOR WARLOCK: Yeah, lead a healthy life. He doesn’t strike me as a micromanager.

4. Should I wear a mask?

Why, yes, of course!

My apologies to BMT patients or others who really do have to wear a mask to maintain their health; If you’re in an doubt, though, ask your doctors about it, and, bear in mind that you’re never going to lead a risk-free life again, even if you beat this thing; you’re going to have to determine your new level of acceptable risk. Ultimately, I’ve decided that, at the moment, looking slightly closer to normal and not having extra things on my face to keep track of (especially since my left hand isn’t quite as dexterous as it used to be) was more important to me than potential airborne microbes or the risks thereof. I’ve heard one ER doctor claiming that we should all wear surgical masks whenever we’re in public (which, in retrospect, is an interesting stance coming from someone with a beard). With that in mind, I’d also point out something Shrink mentioned a few sessions ago; that if you physically hurt, yeah, you’re going to be inclined to stay in and avoid the gym or your friends, but your inactivity will make you feel worse. etc. It may seem like some sort of Dear Abby schlock, but it’s in keeping with the general attitude of most of the healthcare providers I’ve met around here; they want their patients living as close to a normal life as possible  (Molly, if you’re reading this, I’d say that might be something to look for in rating hospitals; if they automatically an dramatically demand all in-patient treatments all the time, be wary).

5. Will my tastes change as treatment progresses?

I’ve heard this one a lot from various people without any clear consensus. I think this is a correlation/causation mistake. I’ve gotten more assertive and aggressive post-initial-treatment just because that’s a new requirement/skill to be alive, but I don’t think that’s because of the disease or treatment (well, possibly, the night is young and they still haven’t completely established Marizomib’s safety and side-effects). Similarly, it’s possible radiation or chemo will change your tastes and/or tastebuds (I’m fairly certain biochemists were still trying to definitively demonstrate how taste works, chemically, so it’s possible that dangerous, damaging substances would permanently change that). But I think, really, it’s that your body is a constantly-changing, hostile, alien warzone, and, just like any time you’re sick and you’re aware of it, it’ll have an impact on your tastes. Just like you may not leap at the thought of a cheeseburger and fries when you have a stomach flu, you’re not going to be one for brunch if you wake up with a queasy, hung-over sensation.

And then you bring human psychology into it and that adds a whole new layer of incalculable insanity to it. I remember exactly where I was when I had my TIA (or “ministroke,” if you want to get more technical); it was a little cafe by the hospital - perfectly nice place - and I had trouble (noticeable trouble) swallowing for a few minutes. I’ve taken a neuroanatomy class, so this set off a few alarm bells, but, since it went away almost immediately, I didn’t give it much more thought until the next scan showed that horrifying little dimple (it did turn out to be a TIA, which, given my obsession with cardiac health, is a barely-noticeable radiation side-effect). Nothing permanently terrible happened to me, and I know there’s no correlation between eating at that cafe and neurological disease, and I’d still recommend to anyone looking for a place to eat, but I’m not eating there ever again. And that might be the underpinning of this complaint about changing taste, there’s just a lot of potential for really, really bad, horrifying things to happen to you at any given moment of treatment. If I have an unexpected seizure while eating toast, I don’t know if I’d ever have toast again. For healthy people for whom this might seem ridiculous (as my step-mother did), let me put it this way. Let’s say you go to your favorite restaurant, and, completely randomly, get mugged and assaulted by a roving gang of GOP congressional candidates. Badly. Like, you need a night or two in the hospital and a month in a leg cast or something. Now, when you recover, even though you’re aware it’s all random chance and circumstantial, would you go back to the same restaurant? I still love steak burritos and beer, but nothing terrible’s happened to me while eating them (yet, anyway). That’s my guess, but there isn’t any hard data to support it.

[adelmortescryche]

YOI Academic Week - Day One

AN: Not sure if I’m going to be able to contribute to every day of this event, not with how weird my health has been off-late, but here I am with my day one fill, @yoiacademicweek! This fills the prompt “Sleeping in Random Places on Campus”. It got a lot longer than I thought it would, but hey, slice of life and fluff.

Premise: Victor and Yuuri keep running into each other on campus whenever Yuuri falls asleep in strange places. They somehow manage to fall for each other over a course of multiple meetings anyway, no matter how weird the circumstances. AU in that Victor and Yuuri are both studying at the same, unnamed university, and Victor isn’t a figure skater. He still skates, though. *wry grin*

As a disclaimer, I came up with all the instagram ids at the end on my own, if they happen to correlate to existing accounts, it’s a complete coincidence.

“We really should stop meeting this way.”

Still in the throes of sleep, Yuuri blinked blearily, registering after a long moment that he wasn’t at home, instead curled up in a comfortable niche he’d found at the integrative learning center. He’d had over an hour till the next bus home showed up, and after a long day, he’d figured he may as well catch a few winks when he got the chance.

It took another moment before he registered he’d been spoken to.

Warily peering over his shoulder, he almost collapsed and rolled right out of his niche in relief. Not a stranger deciding to pick on the creepy Asian dude curled up in a ball; probably overdressed for the weather, but who gave a fuck. Well, the man was still technically a stranger in that Yuuri still didn’t actually know his name, but- he was a stranger-friend bearing hot coffee that smelled divine. And Yuuri was poor and weak and cold, and-

His stranger-friend gave a warm laugh, surrendering the coffee without any complaint. Yuuri already had a quarter of the cup down his gullet, groaning happily, before he registered that the man actually had another cup to himself, and was leaning against the wall beside where Yuuri had been curled up, smiling softly into his cup. Oh.

“Um. Thank you,” he offered awkwardly, forcing himself to stop guzzling coffee like a rude ass. It just earned him another laugh though, the other man’s lips rounding out into an adorable heart-shape that had Yuuri’s mouth going dry. And had Yuuri rushing for the coffee, again, just to give himself something to do that didn’t involve staring like a thirsty fool.

Well, it probably made him look thirsty, alright, but at least he didn’t seem thirsty-

Oh god.

“I need more sleep. And probably a lot more coffee than this,” he mumbled to himself, a little helplessly, and managed to reduce his stranger-friend to tiny little snickers that he made no effort to hide. Well, at least he was cute. Even if he was laughing at Yuuri.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened. Yuuri didn’t make it a habit of accepting coffee from strangers, no matter how lovely the stranger or how delicious smelling the coffee. He had at least some preservation instincts. Even if he did have the bad habit of falling asleep in strange places all of the time. Phichit had actually started making a gag reel for it on YouTube, had created a brand new tagging system on Instagram just to capture Yuuri in different stages of slumber in unexpected places. Like, oh, at the side of a fountain. Under a tree. In a tree, on its branches, because that got Yuuri away from the bustle of students on the ground. On a bench by the lake, in nicer weather, because right now everything outside was a frozen wasteland and Yuuri would rather find nice, cozy corners that came with central heating.

Anyway, back to the topic. Yuuri didn’t make it a habit of accepting coffee from lovely strangers. But he’d run into this specific stranger-friend enough times that he had to admit that his stranger-danger gauge had run a little low.

“We could just go and get coffee at the coffee shop in the library.” The stranger-friend offered, and Yuuri turned to eye him through narrow eyes.

He just kept smiling, though, his icy-blue eyes lit up with good humor, ash-blond hair ruffled slightly and damp from melting flakes of snow. He didn’t even have the decency to wear anything warmer than a light peacoat and shirt, damn him, while Yuuri felt like he’d be frozen stiff if he didn’t bundle into multiple layers. At least it wasn’t a bloody hoodie, but then, from what Yuuri had seen of the other man, hoodies were beneath him, outside of exercise days. No matter how comfortable.

“Maybe we’d actually get to talk for once? Without you needing to go running to catch a bus home, or needing to rush off for your next class? Or, oh, what was it last time-”

“Books that I needed to drop off in my advisor’s office,” Yuuri muttered, feeling his cheeks burn. They weren’t excuses, okay, he’d actually had to do all of those things. The accusation that he’d been making excuses to run away would make him irate, but really, there’s not much accusation in the other man’s tone. And so much more honest amusement, like he’s laughing with Yuuri at their situation, instead of laughing at him for being such a dumpster fire at life.

“So? Want to get that coffee?” he asked, again, and Yuuri’s about to say yes. Except that he noticed the time and fuck, there goes his bus, and there isn’t going to be another one that night if he doesn’t catch this one-

The stranger-friend took one look at his face, sighed, and nodded, still smiling.

Yuuri catapulted himself out of his niche, scrabbling on the waxed floors, and all but dived through the doors he shoved open. It isn’t till he’s standing and heaving for breath on his bus, still clutching at his coffee cup, that he realized that he’d somehow run without getting the stranger-friend’s name yet again.

*

It started something like this. They’d still been in fall, and Yuuri had already started delving through the sweater bins in the discount sales sections of any store he headed to. Mostly so he could buy them in bulk to supplement his need to stay warm, with the constant litany that there would be a day he would hit it big as a skater and then he’d be able to get all the expensive sweaters and coats he wanted on sponsorship money. A complete filthy lie, Yuuri would never do anything of the sort, but it was something to tell himself.

It had been a really long day, and he’d just hunkered down on the stairs, close to the wall, trusting the fact that he’d picked the side stairwell of the library to ensure that no one would bug him. Head down on his knees, arms hiding most of what could be seen of the top of his head, and dead to the world within thirty seconds. And yeah, that’s how tired he’d been.

When he’d woken up, he almost crashed into the person crouching in front of him, reaching out as though to shake him awake.

“Uh, it’s just, you’ve been here for at least three hours, I promise I’m not a creep?” the stranger stuttered, his pretty blue eyes really wide.

Yuuri gaped back at him, not sure how he was supposed to react to that. Except, fuck, yes he did know how to react to that. And it was-

“MY BUS! God-fucking-damnit, this had to happen the one time Phichit-kun wasn’t in town, didn’t it-”

And off he’d rushed before the beautiful stranger could get any more words out.

*

It hadn’t ended there, oh no. Yuuri might have had some sanity left if it’d ended at there. No, instead, he’d somehow managed to run into the stranger, quickly dubbed the stranger-friend in his head, all over campus. And these meetings happened only when he’d been asleep first, because someone out there loved to see Yuuri squirm. Obviously.

From lonely stairwells to booths in cheap restaurants to underneath desks in their library and, one particularly embarrassing time, dozing at the counter during the shift Phichit begged him to cover at the coffee shop. He’d come awake with a start, and had almost toppled over – the only reason he hadn’t was because the stranger-friend had nearly dived over the counter, arms outstretched, to keep him in place.

Then there was the time he’d fallen asleep at the fucking bus stop-

What Yuuri was trying to say, was… there had been many, many times he’d been caught sleeping at strange places by the stranger-friend. It had gotten to the point that Phichit actually asked him about the meetings with his mysterious, handsome stranger-friend, tongue in cheek. While Yuuri valiantly protested that there weren’t any ‘meetings’ to speak of.

*

Yuuri blinked awake, promptly jerking in shock when he noticed the particularly familiar ash-blond haired form curled up on the couch opposite from where Yuuri was curled up into his own armchair. Staring in disbelief for a few seconds had apparently been enough to make the other man register the scrutiny and blink awake as well. When he noticed the way Yuuri had been staring, though, he just offered up a sheepish grin.

“You look so comfortable sleeping all the time. I thought I’d wait to say hi, but I ended up falling asleep too.”

The words made Yuuri flush, just a bit, but they also made him laugh. How could he not, really, when he saw how awkward the other man looked. His laughter had the added effect of making his stranger-friend relax immediately, too, so win-win.

“I’m Yuuri,” Yuuri managed to get out, once his laughter died away. When the other man’s brows rose, Yuuri cracked a wry grin his way.

“Katsuki Yuuri. Or, uh, Yuuri Katsuki, you’d say. Hi.”

“Hi,” his stranger-friend repeated, bemused, before cracking a grin of his own.

“I’m Victor Nikiforov! I’ve seen you practicing at the rink a couple of times, I doubt you’d have seen me, we have different practice times and I know you’re very focused when you’re on the ice-”

The words had Yuuri gaping. Because he hadn’t expected anything of the sort.

*

For the first time in months, Yuuri had nowhere to rush to, and so, he had all the time in the world to curl up in a booth in the coffee shop with Victor opposite him, finally getting the chance to actually talk. It turned out that Victor was not only older than him, but he was also at the University for a Graduate Degree in Comparative Literature. They were in completely different departments, and Victor took classes in Russian for beginners, not English 101 like several others in his cohort, so there hadn’t been any chance of them running into each other in a more formal setting there either.

And the first time Victor had seen him, he’d been rushing down the stairs and had nearly tripped right over Yuuri when he’d been sitting in the stairwell.

The expression on Victor’s face had Yuuri collapsing sideways, shaking with hilarity. Victor just watched him with an exasperated smile, sipping slowly at his black tea. Yuuri had seen him dart across to the abandoned breakfast counter to grab a couple containers of jam to empty into his cup, early on, much to his horror, but Victor had seemed very happy with his choice of drink. Victor had seemed about as horrified by how dark he took his coffee, anyway, so Yuuri supposed they made a good pair.

Adding as much sugar and milk as he’d have liked would have pissed Celestino off, anyway, so Yuuri would just have to abstain. At least until the off-season.

“And why did you try to wake me up?” he asked breathlessly, peering over the edge of the table once he managed to bring his laughter under control.

Victor was still watching him with that smile of his, his expression something that Yuuri couldn’t understand too well all on his own, but Yuuri stared back at him anyway, waiting patiently for a response. Victor hummed thoughtfully, after a moment, and pressed his chin into the support of his hand, his elbow balancing on the table.

“I’d had to head out and get some work done, after almost tripping over you. And then I’d come back, and had been heading back to the reading rooms above, but there I found you, still fast asleep. You’d looked so peaceful, and I’d gone multiple nights without sleep, and I’d probably been a little jealous-”

“Hey, now-” Yuuri cut in, beginning to grin, but Victor cut him off in turn, smiling softly.

“But mostly, I’d woken you up because I knew you’d been sleeping there for a really long time. And judging from where you’d decided to take a nap, I didn’t think you’d actually planned on falling asleep for that long. So I thought I should be a nice guy and nudge you awake.”

“You almost gave me a heart attack, you know,” Yuuri countered mildly, trying to hide his grin. Victor didn’t make any effort of the sort, his lips rounding out into that heart-shaped smile that Yuuri had seen the last time around all over again. Yuuri wished they wouldn’t, that expression did weird things to the organ pumping away inside his chest.

“You did the same, I think, when I saw you dozing at the bus stop. I think you nearly mowed me down while trying to catch your bus.”

“Hey, I didn’t have any other buses left to catch, that night. It’s not my fault if we keep running into each other right before I’m about to miss my bus.”

“Or hand in a paper, or running late for a meeting, or-”

“Hey.”

Victor’s just looked more delighted than before, damn him. So Yuuri had to admit defeat, instead levering himself upright again, and grumbling into his coffee.

They exchanged phone numbers before heading out for the night, and the sight of Victor’s name in his contact list left a warm glow in Yuuri’s chest. Even if it did make Phichit go around with a smug expression for the rest of the week.

*

The next time he fell asleep in the lobby of his department, he woke to Victor scribbling away in a notebook beside him, intimidatingly thick and musty texts sitting open on the table before them. When he made a muzzy, questioning sound, Victor glanced back at him, and waved at him to go back to sleep.

Well. Okay then. If Victor said so.

The next time he managed to get himself back awake, it was to find that Victor had managed to fall asleep as well, heavy books pushed haphazardly to the side and head pillowed on his arms, somehow managing to look like a vision of beauty even while drooling in his sleep. Yuuri had to muffle his laughter into his sleeves, instead doodling a quick message into the side of Victor’s still opened scribbling notebook before heading off. It made sense to be the one buying the hot drinks for a change, right.

The way his eyes lit up when Yuuri proffered a cup of tea, plus teeny-tiny packets of jam on the side, was worth everything, anyway.

*

phichit+chu

[ image: a lithe figure wearing the JSF’s official Olympic jacket zipped all the way to the top, fast asleep with his mouth hanging open slightly, blue half-rimmed spectacles hanging low on his nose. Pillowed on his lap is another figure, face hidden, recognizable only by his ash blond hair and the name visible on the back of his Team Russia jersey. The first figure has an arm wrapped loosely around the second figure’s shoulders. ]

7,523 likes

phichit+chu look at my boys being #relationshipgoals even years down the line! congrats on winning gold yet again, @katsuki-y and @v-nikiforov! #showstoppers #yuurikatsuki #victornikiforov #teamrussia #pyeongchang2018 #olympicgold2018

mayamaylou aw they’re so cute they must be so tired #relationshipgoals

ammellorine d’aww zzzzz :D

phichit+chu @mayamaylou hah more like one fell asleep and the other tracked the first one down and then they were both dead to the world! but yeah they’re cute

christophe-gc sleeping so soundly, the both of them

y-plisetsky ugh

mila-babicheva don’t be mean yura but hey now we know where vitya’s gotten to #imsleepytoo #zzz #relationshipgoals

katsuki-y phichit-kun!

phichit+chu welp guess who’s awake save me from your husbando @v-nikiforov i’m too young and pretty to die

v-nikiforov my sleeping beauty and the prince of my heart in one ❤❤❤ #lifeandlove #alwayswakethesleepingbeauty

naiagurl theyve been together since college gimme a gf like that #relationshipgoals

katsuki-y vitya!

phichit+chu *laughs forever*

y-plisetsky why do all of you have to be so gross

mila-babicheva vitya abandon ship i think yakov spotted you

viktuurifan101 this entire thread is #blessed

[jasonwentcrazy]

Belief Ain’t Enough

Just because it’s true doesn’t ever mean it’s the truth.

One of the choices you have when faced with a problem is to change your perception of the problem. People sometimes resist altering their perceptions, believing they are right in what they see, hear, and remember. The truth is that your perceptions are often inaccurate, particularly in emotionally charged situations. So one way of being more open to  changing your perceptions is to consider the ways your perceptions may be inaccurate.

How you focus your attention affects your perceptions.  

When you have an idea in your mind you tend to look for evidence that supports that idea and not pay attention to evidence that says the idea isn’t accurate. This is called confirmation bias. If you believe you are lucky whenever you wear your red sweatshirt, you are likely to focus on the times that is true and discount the times you were lucky when you weren’t wearing the shirt and when you weren’t lucky when wearing the shirt.  Democrats will look for evidence they are right and Republicans are wrong and vice versa. You tend to look for and pay attention to evidence that supports your beliefs.

So one way of changing your perception is to check the evidence.  Is the way you see the situation factual?  Find a way to count or otherwise test out your thoughts in a more objective way.  Maybe your brother actually spends as much time talking with you as he does your older sister. Maybe your husband puts his clothes away one out of three times instead of never.

Most people don’t like uncertainty so they classify people and experiences into categories. People also learn to associate outcomes with cues when they may not be related.

If a sexy redhead wearing tight pants and stilettos flirts with your husband and ignores you, you may tend to be suspicious of the next woman you meet who wears high heels.  People tend to believe that when people are similar in one way, they are likely to be similar in other ways and this is often not the case.

Not only that, but because you have the idea that she is going to behave a certain way, you may be overly sensitive to any actions on her part that support that view (confirmation bias).

In addition, you may have learned to associate attractive redheads with being abandoned or teased. You may or may not be aware of the reason for your immediate fear, dislike and distrust of redheads wearing heels. Either way it will influence your perception of the person.

Be aware that humans tend to group and classify people and interactions in ways that aren’t correct. People can respond emotionally to subtle cues such as the sounds or lights or smells without any awareness of their emotions coloring their thoughts. Mindfulness can help you be aware of your reactions and pause to consider all factors before responding.

Your first perception affects your later perceptions and decisions.  

In some cases, buying a car is a good example of how this works. The sticker price for the car is $25,000 but the salesman gets you a special deal. You can drive off the lot for $20,000.  At this point, $20,000 looks great. What a bargain. This is called the anchoring effect.  Your belief in the car’s value is anchored at $25,000.

If you “anchored” at a reasonable cost that would be okay. But you don’t. A couple of researchers (Ariely) looked at the anchoring effect by having students bid for items in an auction. They held up a bottle of wine, a textbook or a cordless trackball and described how wonderful the item was. Then each student wrote down the last two digits of their social security number. The digits represented the price of the auction items. If the last two digits were 33, then the textbook was $33.  If the last two digits were 15, then the wine was $15.  After writing down the pretend price, the students bid for the items.

The students who had high social security numbers paid up to 346% more than those with low numbers.

When you have negative reactions to situations or to yourself, how much is an anchoring effect influencing your view?  For example, if your first experience with learning or going to therapy was negative, think how that might influence your later experiences. If your first experience with your neighbor was negative, then maybe that has colored your later interactions.  That saying about the power of first impressions seems to have some truth.

If you imagine an event occurring, your view of the likelihood of that event actually occurring increases. 

If you worry and ruminate about awful events, such as your spouse cheating on you, you are also increasing your sense of how likely it is that the awful event will occur. That of course will add to your misery, though it’s only a change in your perception.

Stopping rumination is difficult. If you ruminate, consider that your perception of the likelihood of the dreaded event actually occurring is skewed. Consider letting the ruminating thought pass through.  Perhaps replace it with visualizing yourself behaving effectively with problems that come your way.

You don’t see all that happens right in front of your eyes.  

Would you believe that you could be talking with someone about checking out a video and not notice that a different person brings you the video?  (e.g. http://www.theinvisiblegorilla.com) You often don’t notice major details in your environment.  You miss information.  So when you are upset about an interaction or a situation, consider that maybe you don’t have all the facts. It’s at least a possibility.

Sometimes making a decision that you aren’t the kind of person who does something helps you stop doing that behavior. 

Deciding that you aren’t the kind of person who eats sweets or who smokes will help you change your behavior. It’s like changing your perception of who you are helps you make different decisions.

Consider how your view of yourself could affect your perceptions. If you perceive yourself as a caring person, you might discount others’ complaints about you being selfish because that’s not who you are. If you view yourself as an angry person then you may respond with anger in an automatic way without checking to see if that is what you are actually feeling.

Being mindful of your emotions and actions and the effect of your actions on others can be helpful to increasing the accuracy of your perceptions.

When you’re in a negative mood you tend to expect more negative outcomes and see yourself and others more negatively.  

When you are sad or depressed, you are likely to see yourself as having little to be happy about or that you have little to look forward to. You are more attuned to painful events. When your mood changes your view of your future is more optimistic and your see the many reasons you have to be grateful though nothing changed other than your mood.

Keep in mind your perceptions may be mood dependent. Remind yourself that when you are in a different mood your views change.

Sometimes you let myths govern your responses.  

Imagine you’re at work. You see a man with a few tears running down his cheeks. If you believe that tears are a sign of weakness, you’ll perceive the gentleman differently than if you believe that expression of feelings is healthy or a sign of sensitivity. You may have the judgment without even thinking of the reason you are making it.

Consider writing down your beliefs about friendships, the opposite sex, relationships or any area of conflict you might have.  Then consider whether you are behaving according to rules and expectations that are actually myths.

It’s really difficult to have the whole truth. 

The man who cut you off in traffic may be trying to get to the hospital for the birth of a child.  The supervisor who didn’t give raises may have saved the department from layoffs and the friend you believe ignored you may not have seen you.

Sometimes you are upset because you interpret or give assumed meanings to events rather than staying with what you can actually observe to be true.  Sometimes your perceptions, and thus your reactions, are based on assumptions. You can observe that the man cut you off in traffic and you know that you were scared of an accident. You cannot observe that he did so because he is rude or has some other negative personality characteristic.

You reconstruct your memories. 

Your memories of the past can be influenced by interactions and situations that occur after the original event. The language that someone uses to ask you questions about the event can influence your memory. If you have gaps in what you remember, you tend to them in to make the memory “whole.”  And circumstances that occur after the original event affect your memory. For example, if you were best friends with someone at the time of the original event but have an argument that severed your relationship in the years after, then you will not remember being as close as you actually were.

Thus your memory/perception of what happened five years ago might not be as accurate as you think. Consider that others’ memories may have some validity even though their memories are likely flawed as well.

There are many ways our perceptions are actually inaccurate representations of reality. Keeping in mind that your perceptions may be faulty or incomplete may help you be more flexible in your views, giving you more peace and contentment.

[This is from some pasted text I had saved in my documents and I figured I’d post it here to remind me of it. Since it’s important.]

[mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog]

maine property insurance

"maine property insurance

maine property insurance

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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maine property insurance

maine property insurance

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maine property insurance

maine property insurance

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NEW TO INSURANCE!!HELP

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How much does it cost for tow truck insurance?

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What insurance company dosenot check credit history?

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How do I figure how much life insurance I will need?

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Because of the bad snowy weather we been having, I recently lower my car deductible from $1000 to $250 . My car just sliped today and hit a curve. I took it to have it checked, and the shop told me it would be around $3000 to get the car fix. Would my insurance company think that i lower my deductible after the incident happened? Would they cover the damage? Should i wait before trying to file the claim?""

I am Looking for Affordable Health Insurance Services in Illinois?

Hello, Friends, My Cousin and her husband are planning to shift in Illinois, in the next month. We required complete guideline regarding Health Insurance and missing open enrollment. Also, we need to find that if we are eligible for subsidy? Please help if anyone knows. It would be great full. Thank you :)""

Insurance Savings Plan?

What types of these are available at insurance companies?

Auto Insurance when buying New Vehicle?

What is procedure on obtaining Auto Insurance when you buy a new vehicle and have no present insurance account setup? Does dealer offer temporary insurance until you can get quotes from a few companies?

What car insurance companies dont base quotes on youngest driver on policy?

i genuinely want to be added on my parents car policy just for occasional use, i am 17 and all the quotes i have got are still riddiculously priced as insurance companies base prices on youngest driver on policy even if they are additional driver""

Car insurance !!!!!!!!!!!!!?

does anyone no were to get cheap car insurance im 17 male and the quotes im getting are 3000 pound to 5000 pound and they are for 1.1 to a 1.3 and its stupid ive tried go compare mon Supermarket and i cant find any lower quotes can anyone help???

Insurance on a Mitsubishi Eclipse?

Hey. Im looking at a 2000 Mitsubishi eclipse and i was curious as to how much the insurance could possibly be? Im also looking at a 1998 one. Im a 16 year old , female w/ progressive.""

How do I get added to my parent's car insurance?

I am going to have to use one of my parent's cars to get around soon. I have never had my own car, but have had a license for a few years, I just always used public transportation...so I am wondering how would I go about getting added to my parent's car insurance policy. Note: I would only be driving their car occasionally, not regularly. I'm 21 btw. Details and possible costs would be appreciated.""

""Average car insurance for 17 year old in ON, Canada?""

I'm a 17 year old female, no problems with driving, and with drivers ed course completed and certified. I have good grades going from 70s-90's. I'm looking into getting the new 2012 Ford Fiesta once I get my G2. How much would I pay a year/month for car insurance? Thanks""

How much would the insurance be?

I found a 1998 ford mustang for sale. The car is perfect. It has 50,000 miles. Its in great shape. The engine and body is incredibly clean. Just a few scratches. I'm 18 years old and just wanted to figure out what the insurance would be. I keep trying web sites, but all of the quotes are $100 different than the other ones. So does anyone know?""

maine property insurance

maine property insurance

Will getting a speeding ticket raise my insurance?

Will getting a speeding ticket raise my insurance? I was helping my friend move her car today and got pulled over for going 10 mph + the speed limit (in a different state). I showed the cop her insurance and my license. He said he is going to mail me the ticket. Now, I am wondering after I pay this ticket, will my insurance increase even though this was not my vehicle, vehicle insurance, and it was in a different state (California). Please help with any advice, I cannot have my insurance go up. Cop still gave me ticket even after ten hours of driving and crying afterwards..""

Affordable Health Care Who is really paying for it?

32 Million in the US uninsured. Pre ACA, the uninsured would show up in the ER, get whatever treatment they could then leave, most of them not paying the bill. The hospital prices ...show more""

Where can i get information on the popularity among savings insurance vs health insurance?

I would like to know which is higher on the premium you have to pay for savings and health insurance? savings or health insurance is higher? how can i get info on this?

""Car Insurance: I currently have a 2001 Red Mustang V6, but will be purchasing a 2003 Blue Jeep Liberty V6..?""

.. should I expect a major increase/decrease in my car insurance payment? I'm 18, but under my parents plan. I'm selling the Mustang if anyone is interested and lives in middle Tennessee.""

What reputable health insurance companies are out there?

My mom doesn't have health insurance and my job doesn't give insurance to family members. I would like to pay monthly to a health insurance company so my mom could get health check up when she needs it. Do you know any health insurance companies that can accept low monthly payments since I don't get paid that much?

Auto insurance Price?

I have USAA for auto insurance and I have been paying about $1,000 every 6 months. I did a online quote with Geico and for the exact same coverage(supposedly) it will be $364 every 6 months. How are they THAT MUCH CHEAPER? Is there any reason why I should not leave USAA today and go to Geico?""

Looking for cheap insurance?

just baught a van and looking for insurance companys numbers,thanks sean""

Where is the cheapest place to go for cheap car insurance for a young male?

I am 19 years old and currently insured by statefarm. They recently found out about a disobeying stop sign ticket that i got last year. Also, they found out that i am not currently in school. I own a 2007 saturn ion (manual, 2 door) that i am currently financing a few thousand dollars on. Since they dropped the steer clear and good student discounts, i am paying 166 dollars a month. Before that i was paying 108. It just seems kind of high to me. I am pretty sure i am getting a couple discounts from my parents. Also i have signed up for classes in the fall making me a full time student eventually. Is there any car insurance company that could get me a better deal? i have tried farmers, progressive, and geico.""

Allstate insurance?

does allstate have medical insurance

How much will insurance cost for this car..?

so i'm looking for my first car and i'm looking into a Mini cooper S 2004 i am 16 years old and just want to know how much a month it will cost? also could please tell me how much would a 2010 hyundai genesis 2.0t cost as well thanks for all your help :)

Low cost health care for an adult in California?

Could you tell me what kind of resources are available for a single male who makes $1,800 a month and needs affordable low cost health care coverage in California? What does the state offer if anything?""

Accident with no insurance?

Hi I got in an accident in linconwood with out any insurance but the accident was his fault and there's no police report and now his car insurance company is during me b.c they said it was my fault. Can somebody please help me out here

How much would it cost a new driver in the UK for car insurance?

I am thinking of getting a 12 year old ford fiesta. I am 24 years old and I'm a new driver. How much would it cost me for car insurance?

Insurance Car Accident?

So today my insurance expired Feb 1st and I had thought I was covered for today. It is snowing outside and a car crashed behind me and did some serious damage. I called the insurance company and got insured. If the crash happened before I paid the insurance but no police were involved am I still covered. The exact timings wouldn't be found out if no police were called at the time correct?

Affordable Cosmetic dental insurance in NYC ?

I really want cosmetic dental surgery maybe back braces or invisalign, I live in NYC and I just want recommendations for which insurance company to go with. Also I'd really like something affordable. Any information would be helpful :)""

How much should we expect from her insurance?

a friend and i had an accident on Thursday, we were going on two different motorcycles and a woman never saw us and she cut our way and we ended up hitting her pretty bad, the motorcycles are totaled. one of us had a dislocated shoulder and a strained knee, the other one was hospitalized for three days, he ended up having a broken rip, blood in the skull, and damaged spine. this accident was the woman's fault so my question is how much should each of us expect from her insurance? should we hire a lawyer?""

How much insurance company will raise my rate after a car accident?

My car bumped into a car at a parking lot and caused minor rear bump crack. And I called my insurance company to report a claim. Right now my rate insurance is $420/year. I would like to to know how much my insurance company will raise my rate when I renew it next year.

How much would my car insurance cost?

If i was to buy a 1.4 three door corsa SRI 05 plate.

What does getting pts on license mean for my insurance?

I got pulled over for speeding. However, the cop bumped down my ticket to disobeying traffic control device. I'm getting 2 points on my license. I'm 22 yrs. old and under my dad's insurance. Will the insurance rates be going up? (Also, I'm planning on taking the defense driving class to erase the 2 pts from license. If so, does my insurance still go up?) Please tell me of your situations....thanks!""

Driving without insurance?

My mom has insurance in her name for her car. I passed my road test yesterday and got my license. Can i legally drive the car with her INSIDE of the car? I'm not listed on her insurance? If i get pulled over do i legally have insurance? What will happen?

""First time driver, why is a Smart Fortwo 2002 reg third party fire and theft so expensive on insurance?!?""

I recently did an insurance quote for a Smart Fortwo, the value of it 2400, and the insurance came up third party fire and theft at 2900!!! :O why for such a small and low engine car would it be so gob smackingly expensive?! I hope someone can put my mind at rest because i really would love to know! Thanks :D""

How much would insurance cost on a 2015 Mustang 4-cylinder ecoboost?

Just wondering if anyone has an idea on how much insurance will cost. The insurance for the V6 model I know will be somewhere around $400-$500 a month which is obviously too much for me. I plan on putting a 3k down payment for the Mustang and finance for possibly 4-5years. I also plan on selling my current car for a little over 2.2k. I believe this will only be possible for me to do if the insurance is around $300 a month. The Ecoboost mustang is a 4 cylinder 2 door muscle car but with a turbo engine putting about 305HP. It gets more mpg than the V6 but is faster than the V6. Thank you for any answers and I know for now nothing is 100% true until I actually get a quote. Oh I also live in the LA County area as I know this will sadly most likely increase the insurance cost by 40%.

Insurance claim and deductible questions?

I scratched somebody's car while they were parked, so it was my fault. Damages were minor. Since my car is old and I've dropped coverage on my own car (I have coverage for the other car), I have no plan to fix mine. And the other party offered to settle on our own and not go to the insurance company. So, the questions are: 1. If I claim to my insurance company, how much out-of-pocket do I have to pay? His deductible? Or $0 (since I am not fixing mine)? 2. Would my insurance rate will go up even though I have a clean, no at-fault, claim for at least 10 years? 3. Is this settle on our own legal? And anything to watch out for? 4. What would you do if you were me? Thanks much!""

Car insurance question?

I am 16 years old and I will be getting my liscence soon. I am really excited to be able to drive and not to the bus to clas anymore and be able to meet my friends whenever but my parents are making me pay car insurance on my own and they will get me a car. Probably a toyota or something like that. How much will it cost I do have a good amount already saved up but i would like to get an idea of how much it will cost me thanks

What will an insurance company offer to settle for a possible neck injury?

I was rear-ended by another car. I reported to the insurance company of the person who hit me that my neck was a little sore. They offered me $700 to sign a release form without me even asking. I told the claims adjuster I needed to think about it. Short of getting a lawyer, what could I expect to be offered? I am sure insurance companys have a set amount that they will pay to get me to sign the release form. Anyone know about how much that would be?""

maine property insurance

maine property insurance

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[ronnykblair]

The Past 10 Years: The Top 10 Things I Would Have Done Differently

Have you noticed that your friends constantly complain about their jobs, but never take action to fix them?

If you haven’t seen this behavior yet, just give it a few years.

By your 30s, at least 50% of conversations will revolve around job complaints.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, engineers in San Francisco take action to quit their jobs and start new companies…

…and then, when these new companies fail, the engineers write “post-mortem” posts on Medium about why their startups failed.

But most businesses don’t “fail” – they keep operating year in and year out and change gradually over time.

And while complaining can be cathartic for the complainer, it’s not useful to anyone else.

So, this article is neither a complaint nor a post-mortem – it’s a pre-mortem.

It is a direct extension of last month’s article on the top 10 red-pill truths I’ve learned over the past 10 years.

It will explain what I’m changing to avoid a post-mortem.

It will also explain why I should have taken a 30-40% pay cut over the past decade.

And if you think I was blunt last time around, that was just a warm-up:

1) Drop All Business Activities Other Than Content and Product Creation

Everyone tends to think they are above-average-to-great at everything.

I thought the same way a long time ago, which is why I decided to hire guest writers, offer coaching services, set up partnerships with other companies, introduce complicated marketing strategies, and even create a web series.

But the truth is that most people, myself included, can perform at a high level only in a handful of areas.

Even large companies struggle to do more than 1-2 things well.

I am above average in only two areas:

Writing articles and creating videos that generate a lot of search engine traffic.

Creating products with Excel files and videos that people want to buy.

I should have spent 95% of my time on these tasks and cut everything else: Guest writers, coaching, partnerships, complex email marketing, paid advertising, and my attempts at creative writing.

These activities delivered some benefits, but not enough to justify the time and money invested.

For example, occasionally a promotional partner would propose an interesting product or marketing idea.

But a benefit like that wasn’t worth ongoing drama, disagreements over terms, partners turning into “frenemies,” and sales cannibalization.

2) Make Trips to Other Countries Short or Long, But Nothing In Between

In 2009, I left California, where I had studied and worked for almost a decade, and moved to South Korea. And then I lived in a lot of other places afterward.

I have mixed feelings about that.

On the one hand, I lost a lot of my university network by leaving the area.

On the other hand, SF has become a depressingly awful place (LA is better), and since I am not attempting to create a billion-dollar company, I do not fit in with the culture there.

So, I think the idea to leave was probably correct.

But my execution of the “overseas travel and living” part came up short because I often went to a place, stayed for a few weeks to a few months, and then went somewhere else.

That’s too much time to do tourist-only things, but it’s too little time to make friends or live like a real human.

It would have been smarter to commit to living somewhere for 1-2 years, and if I didn’t like it, move on, with the eventual goal of settling down in one specific city.

If I wanted to scout a new place, I should have gone for 4-5 days and minimized my workload during that time.

3) Don’t Set Deadlines – Set Targets Based on Consumption Time Instead

Many productivity experts say that “nothing happens without a deadline.”

If you procrastinate and have legitimate problems finishing work, that advice is helpful.

But if you’re like me – a Type A, obsessive-compulsive workaholic – it could easily backfire.

For example, I frequently aimed to finish products by arbitrary deadlines, such as May 31 or November 30 or the day before a group trip to China.

Then, I would spend every waking hour until the deadline finishing the project.

It made for an unbalanced life, where I went from non-stop work to doing nothing to non-stop work to doing nothing.

I should have skipped the deadlines and set targets based on consumption time instead.

In 2010, I gave myself from July 20 to August 31 to learn about banks and insurance companies and create an entire course on the topic.

Not only was this a stupid idea – it’s impossible to learn a complex technical topic in that amount of time – but it also led to 80, 90, and 100-hour workweeks as the deadline approached.

I should have set a limit of 15 hours of student completion time for the course and made the deadline “Whenever it is done.”

Targeting consumption time rather than deadlines would have forced me to cut the fluff and avoid doing crazy things just to finish on-time.

4) Drop “Lifetime Access and Unlimited Support” and Offer 3 or 5-Year Course Access with Limited Support

“Lifetime access and unlimited support” is way out of line with the terms for online courses in any market.

Many students don’t even believe this claim; a common question is “When does my course access expire?”

I first extended these terms in 2009 because I thought we needed an offer that was “too good to be true.”

I was completely wrong.

It was more than enough to offer a discounted price, simple bonus, and free updates to anyone who signed up early.

Offering such generous terms might have even hurt sales because someone could have said, “Hmm… what’s the catch? Maybe this product is awful if they’re giving away so much.”

And providing “unlimited support” was a terrible idea because it attracted people who needed help tying their shoelaces.

Finally, these terms put more pressure on me to update content and respond to questions constantly, even though 99% of users didn’t care.

I should have offered generous but limited course access, such as 3-5 years, along with support only for specific content-related questions (and no Excel file fixes).

5) Participate in At Least One Group/Team Activity

On paper, I have “hobbies and interests”: Travel, running/weight-lifting, reading, learning languages, creative writing, and whiskey.

But there’s one glaring problem: They’re all individual or pair activities.

If I had a normal job where I went into the office each day and had co-workers, that wouldn’t matter.

But since I work online, I have to go out of my way to meet new people and get in-person interaction during the day.

Almost everyone I’ve stayed in touch with and occasionally see in real life falls into one of two categories:

Lived with the person before – Either in the same apartment/house/dorm or the same city.

Did an extended group activity with the person – Such as a study-abroad program or student/volunteer group with heavy involvement.

I have ~4,000 connections on LinkedIn because I am Internet-famous, but my real-life network is quite small.

And it’s largely because I didn’t do many group activities after graduation, and I stopped living in single places for long periods.

I did meet people at networking events, happy hours, and other one-offs, but it was less useful because we had less in common and I was less likely to see them again.

Even if I had still moved around a lot, a single group or team activity would have been a huge help in developing a better network.

6) Target a 10-15% Refund Rate

A long time ago, I was explaining my business to a marketing consultant.

I mentioned that our refund rate was only 2% at the time, and he immediately stopped me:

“If your refund rate is 2%, you’re losing money. A rate that low means that your prices are too low. Many businesses make more money when their refund rates go up.”

The second-most-useful comment about refunds came from Jerry when we both lived in Korea:

“Dude, if people complain, ask too many questions, or have other problems, just refund them.”

If I had targeted a much higher refund rate from the start, that would have solved many problems:

Less time wasted arguing with angry people online.

Less time spent selling underpriced products.

Less temptation to create courses that take 515,189,432 hours to complete.

Some business owners get emotionally invested in refunds and want to curl up and die when customers are unhappy.

But the refund rate is just another lever in the gears of a business.

Pull it correctly, and the gears will operate even more efficiently.

Apply too little force, and those gears will stop turning.

7) Quit Bad Relationships Quickly, But Take a More Measured Approach with Friends

If I ever had to go in for a real job interview, I already know what I would say for the “weakness” question:

“I make the right decisions, but I often wait too long to make those decisions.”

I went through a series of mediocre-to-terrible relationships over the years mostly because of this weakness.

But I should have followed a very simple protocol: If it wasn’t great within the first month, drop it.

The process should have been more like a search for an employee, with screening criteria, rounds of interviews, and quick decision-making.

I made the opposite mistake with friendships: I often lost touch with friends for nonsensical or nonexistent reasons.

For example, I drifted out of contact with a group of university friends in the first few years of this business because I assumed that they wouldn’t approve of my chosen career path.

Students from top universities can be surprisingly narrow-minded, so that wasn’t completely wrong, but I went a bit overboard in my assumptions.

I can think of 5-10 solid friendships I could have maintained if I had put in more effort and ignored imagined problems.

8) Reduce Publication of Free Articles, Videos, and Newsletters to 1-2x per Month

You may not realize it, but writing articles for this site takes a lot of time.

For example, the article you’re reading right now took 13 hours and 17 minutes to research, outline, write, and edit.

Each year, I spend 400-500 hours creating free content for this site and our YouTube channel.

And most of that is a waste of time.

Many students and professionals who sign up for the BIWS courses have not even read anything on this site – most sales now come from search engines and direct traffic.

M&I was a great launchpad for the paid courses, but it has become less important than BIWS over time.

I enjoy writing, but at 400-500 hours per year, it’s a huge time commitment that no longer delivers many benefits.

I should have shifted the frequency to 1-2 new articles per month starting in 2012.

Periodic updates do help with search engine traffic and longer-term conversions, but I could have captured those benefits in 100-150 hours of work instead of 400-500 hours.

And instead of delving into obscure topics that only 10-15 people are interested in, I should have updated the core content that attracts most of the traffic.

The top 100 articles here account for almost 60% of total traffic, and the top 200 generate almost 80% of all traffic.

The remaining hundreds of articles don’t do much of anything, so they should be consolidated or deleted.

9) Simplify the Advanced and Industry-Specific Courses Down to 15 Hours of Completion Time

The obvious problem with “advanced” courses is that the demand for advanced material is low.

From 2012 through 2017, the Advanced Modeling, Bank Modeling, and Oil & Gas Modeling courses together accounted for less than 10% of sales.

The Real Estate course has performed better because the audience is broader, but it still contributes a low percentage of sales next to the core products (Excel, general financial modeling, and the Interview Guide).

Beyond the small market size, there’s another problem: Advanced concepts take more time to teach, but advanced users have less time to learn.

Also, advanced users are often looking for one specific topic, and if the course does not happen to cover it, it’s useless to them.

Currently, these courses are useful mostly because they encourage upgrades to package deals, such as the BIWS Platinum membership for everything on the site.

Those package deals make a big difference, so I don’t think I should have skipped the advanced courses altogether.

But I should have focused on breadth over depth.

For example, instead of a 40-hour course based on a single company or deal, I should have made a 15-hour version with 5-6 separate case studies that each take 2-3 hours to complete.

If people staged an online rebellion because there wasn’t enough content, I could have dropped the prices and positioned the courses as “interview prep” instead.

10) Set a Hard Cap of ~5 Hours per Week on Online Interactions

I’ve spent an astounding amount of time interacting with readers, customers, and random people online – easily 5x as much time as I’ve spent talking to people in real life.

In the first few years of the site, these interactions were important because I was establishing the brand and building a reputation.

But their usefulness fell off a cliff as the business matured.

No online interaction has ever affected my offline life, and most online discussions have made a marginal difference in business results: 95%+ of comments, emails, and LinkedIn messages come from non-customers.

I’m also quite skeptical that “research” via Reddit, message boards, and comment threads is useful; discussions there tend to amplify extreme opinions and hide the average case.

I’ve collected data from four main channels over the past decade:

What people say in comments and emails.

What people say on the phone.

What people say in-person.

How people spend their time and money.

If you want to figure out a market or a person, #4 is all that matters.

Look at a person’s bank and credit card statements and a weekly time log of his/her activities, and you’ll learn more than you would in a week of conversation with that person.

Numbers don’t lie, but people do – in-person, on the phone, and especially online.

I should have cut my time spent on online interactions starting in 2010-2011 and focused on usage and purchase data to make decisions.

So, What Would This Have Looked Like?

If I had implemented all the changes above, I would have created a simpler and more straightforward business and personal life.

I would have created far less content and worked fewer hours, and I would have made more real-life friends and fewer Internet friends.

The obvious downside is that I would have earned less money.

I estimate a 30-40% cumulative drop in gross sales from all these changes, which adds up to several million dollars.

That sounds like a lot, but it’s over 10 years, and “gross sales” is much different from after-tax profits.

This list of changes may seem dramatic, but I made most of the big decisions correctly.

It was the right move to quit my job, avoid private equity, and start this business in 2007-2008.

And it was the right move to launch BIWS at the bottom of the recession in 2009 and keep expanding it over time.

I did make some business mistakes, but they are fixable.

I made more serious mistakes on the personal/social side, and those are the ones I regret the most.

A Pre-Mortem or a Post-Mortem?

Since this is a pre-mortem, I can make many of these changes.

In fact, I’ve already started.

I’ve spent the past few months simplifying and streamlining parts of the most popular courses, and I’ve been reducing the time I spend online.

I’ve also been reducing the frequency of free content in some channels, and I’ve been cutting many side activities.

I learned my lesson with relationships years ago, and I finally found the right person last year.

I won’t follow through on everything above, but I don’t have to.

I just need to change enough to avoid getting to the point where I write a post-mortem.

And since I’m not an engineer in San Francisco, that one’s within reach.

The post The Past 10 Years: The Top 10 Things I Would Have Done Differently appeared first on Mergers & Inquisitions.

from ronnykblair digest https://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/10-year-review/