#My life is fucking hell. feel like pure shit want her back xx

[melto]

for the last like fucking 11 years ive wanted nothing more than to play atelier annie alchemists of sera island and i am going to break something over the false hope i just experienced 

[bloodyhell-lucifer]

Accident | Tony Stark

Pairing: Tony Stark x fem!reader

Summary: Few months ago you were attacked at night when you were going back home from a girls evening by a group of some men who tried to beat you down just because you were girlfriend of the one and only iron man. Tony on the right time got the signal by Jarvis that you are in danger and saved you. Now you want to go out with your friends again. It would be the first time since the accident and Tony is worried and being overprotective. Some way he got irritated by your behaviour.

Warnings: slight angst, reader being involved in an attack, language, fluff at the end

Notes: I had that idea in my head for so long so I decided that I’ll write something from it and there it is! My first Tony imagine. Tell me what you think and also follow me if you like my works, I’ll post more of it xx love you guys

You were on your way to Tony’s lab to announce him that you were leaving soon. Your friend invited you to her birthday party so you finally decided to move on and go. It’s been like six months since your last party that ended you being scared and frightened from going out from your home and elsewhere without Tony himself. That awful night you were going home alone because you’ve had an argument with Tony and you told him that he is not your babysitter and that you can handle going home without him especially driving late at night just to pick you home so you two can go back home together. You were fool yourself for not calling the cab to drive you because it was summer so you decided to take a walk. If you could you would like to forget that and remove that memory, but what’s done it’s done you thought. You should live forward. You tap the code to Tony’s lab and you saw him sitting back to you, in front of his computer, making some improvements to Jarvis. Tony was dressed casually, black jeans and dark green hoodie hugged his toned chest. He sense your presence without turning around checking who it is.

“Hi baby” he said turning back to you, a big smile on his face.

“Hi Tony” small smile appeared on your face as well. You came closer and you were standing in front of him.

“What’s on that beautiful mind of your babygirl? I see it in your eyes that something is bothering you” Tony placed his hands on your hips and urged you to sit down on his lap. You did as he pleased, your hands going around his neck so you could play with small hair on his neck.

“Y/F/N invited me to girls meet up and I think it’s right time to go out finally” you spoke avoiding his gaze, because you already knew he wasn’t going to like that idea and you were right from the start.

“You are not going anywhere. Not for know. You know how it ended the last time you went out when we argued.” His lips were in the firm line, brows clenched and visibly vein popped up on Tony’s forehead. He clenched his squeeze over your hips.

“I know that you are worried but I don’t wanna sit in this house forever, not be able to seeing my friends. You are not my father Tony.” You got up from his lap and crossed your arms over your chest.

“You know that friends could come over in anytime to see you. You don’t have to go out to actually see them.” He turned around in his seat and got back to his computer, starting to ignoring you.

“But I want to go, I know that, that night I was fucking stupid for not calling the cab and going home safely but know surely I won’t repeat that.” You insisted, getting irritated.

“For fuck’s sake Y/N! You ain’t going anywhere and that’s the end of the conversation. I don’t fuckin’ like the idea of you going to your friend’s house to girls meeting and at the end of the day suddenly nobody wants to drive you home or take care of you when they sure know that we had a argument but on the other hand even when we are fighting with each other, on every day and every hour you can call me and I will come and get you home because that’s what I’ll do to keep you safe and it doesn’t depends on our little fights.” He yelled, his fist coming in contact with the table, face turning red. You flinched because of the sudden movement he did. He faced you again and now he was so close to you that he was towering over you and you could smell his perfumes.

“I want to have fun again. I was and I still am a little frightened because of what happened but I won’t move forward sitting in this house forever. I know that you are worried and being protective but I want my life back. I’m siting here for over six months and I want to know the world again.” You sighed, looking at your feet because Tony’s gaze was to intimidating to look him into the eyes.

“You accidentally survived. I don’t want to lose you to some pricks coming after you because they don’t like me. To that day I’m blaming myself because I was a fuckin’ idiot for not coming for you and driving you back home. It could’ve end so much worse then it did Y/N. I love you and I’m not ready to lose you.” He grabbed you by your waist with firm grip and you decided to look at him. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were looking into yours with serious doubt. On his forehead appeared a few wrinkles.

“I’ll stay. I don’t want you to be worried and stressed because of me. I’ am so pathetic. I don’t want to cause you any problems.” You placed your left hand on his cheek, feeling his light stubble under your palm.

“You don’t cause any problems, doll and I’am so fuckin sure you’re not pathetic. You’re the smartest woman I’ve ever known and od course beautiful as hell and mine as well” Tony’s grip tightened on your hips and know he was smiling to you like a child that received its favourite toy. His hands came to your checks, squeezing them lightly. “Look at me darling. I love you and I’ll protect you, no matter what” His gaze was so pure and on the other hand confident that his eyes were like saying its truth on their own, no words needed.

“I love you too and I’m sorry.” You grabbed him by his neck and let him hug you. Tony’s hands come tightly on your back, bringing you closer to him so he could put his chin on your head.

“I don’t even know now why I was so mad at you on the other evening. You’re walking cuteness and goddess in one. I can’t be mad at you for long.” The man said, placing a delicate kiss on your head.

“Guess there is two of us.” you laughed softly, hugged him tighter and making Tony laugh a little as well.

“We’ll do this. I’ll drive you to that house where you girls have meeting. Then you’ll call me later and I’ll pick you up and we will get home together. What about that?” He asked, looking at you.

“Oh are you sure? I mean I can stay, really.” you said disbelieving that what he said seconds ago.

“I’m sure. You are right that I can’t imprisoning you in that house. You should live your life and have fun, but in the safe way. I know you would do the same for me.” He wrapped one arm around you, leading to the exit of his lab.

“Of course I would” you were shocked of sudden change of Tony’s mind.

“Now go get dressed, put on some make up, all that all girls shit and I’ll Waite for you in the garage and I’ll drive you there” He opened the door for you, leering you go first.

“I love you. Seriously. I don’t know what I would do without you.” You added, grabbing him by his neck connecting your lips in a needy kiss. His hands immediately went to your hair, tugging them slowly, making your whimper. The kiss was rough, but also loving.

“See you in couple minutes” Tony said, winking to you, admiring your flesh.

He was the man of your dreams and you wouldn’t do anything to broke his trust, even if it meant staying a bit longer at home. You loved him and you would do anything to make him happy and feel loved.

[sheraphic]

Hey! I love your fake Instagram prompts, can make another one ? ❤️xx

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲'𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

◃────────────────────────────────▹

author's note; hi there darling, sorry for the waiting but here it is your request, hope you like it. Feel free to tell me who you want next, just leave the name or the context you want it to have.

warnings; there can be a few mistakes.

◤ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ◥

It would be wonderful If you reblog it, that help me a lot, it inspire me for write more.

// masterlist //

◃────────────────────────────────▹

Liked by ashleygraham, gemmastyles, michalmlynowski and 7,473,230 others

yourinstagram fluffy mate

View all 35,832 comments

harrystyles fluffy lover more like

→ harryfan606 omg i love him!

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harryfan984 Alright, but this give me the vibe of first date. I'm fucking crying over this teddies

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ynstylesupdates we are oficially over the moon

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Liked by yourinstagram, glenne_azoff, harry_lambert and 8,101,533 others

harrystyles hers

View all 34,763 comments

yourinstagram not mine

→ harryfan619 you're saying that is his?

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→ yourfan644 surely he has a whole collection that only use in home

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→ harryupdates *softly* don't

harryandyn a boy who sneek on his gf bag just because is a little baby whos bored

→ harryfan681 you just say it, he's a little baby 🌸

Liked by zendaya, florencepugh, dualipa and 6,443,923 others

yourinstagram I guess what they say it's true; you start adopting your partner's habits

View all 24,699 comments

harrystyles Can you lend me that?

harryfan551 living with harry is like living in a gucci store

→ yn701 is there any special offers?

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→ harryfan632 we're gettin domestic harry 🥺

Liked by niallhoran, annetwist, taylorswift and 9,886,955 others

harrystyles In any case, you are my favorite habit

View all 38,922 comments

yourinstagram Oh, the time you attacked me out of nowhere. Yeah, I remembered it

→ harryfan883 PLEASE

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harryfan734 just here to say thank you, you made him smile more than ever and for that i wanna hug you

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→ harryupdates WE NEED THE WEDDING

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ynstylesupdates god, just watch them; that is pure love guys. Please leave, i need to recover myself

→ harryfan634 mood for the rest of my life

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→ harryfan632 @taylorfan that's all

[talesofstyles]

The Law of Attraction

buckle up my little ballsacks you’re in for a treat. this is pure lawyer harry filth. honestly i’ve got no excuse.

massive massive thank you to @smokeinherperfume​ for letting me ramble about lawyer harry 24/7 and @for-fucks-sake-h​ for allllll the knife emojis FGHSHSGSGH ILY 🥺💛

p.s. all of my fics about lawyer harry are standalones so you don’t have to read them in order. but just fyi technically this one happens after Quid Pro Quo. hope you like it! xx

An orgasm crashes through YN’s body, causing her back to arch in her chair and her fingers to tug hard at the hair of the man who’s working his tongue between her legs. It’s half three on a Wednesday, and instead of skimming through stacks of her clients’ contracts trying to find loopholes or go through the first set of Interrogatories once again before she sends it to the opposing counsel later today; she’s got her former-nemesis-turned-best-friend kneeling before her chair, her skirt hiked up around her waist and her knickers haphazardly pulled to the side. She lets out a groan, which only eggs him on, and he lashes his tongue against her even harder.

“Enough,” she mutters weakly, her voice barely audible and she’s not even sure if he even heard it. She pushes his head away from her, but the stubborn sod only swats her hands away while growling and doubles up on his efforts. She can feel him shaking his head as he licks and sucks away, slipping his finger deep inside her the second she closes her eyes and proceeds to bring her to another shattering orgasm in just under two minutes.

She slaps her hand over her mouth as she reaches her high again, and Harry looks at her with a satisfied smile, before licking his shiny wet lips without breaking eye contact. The sight alone is almost enough to make her want to shove his head back to where it was half a minute ago. “Feel better?”

“Mhm,” she hums happily and Harry’s lips quirk into a gentle smirk. “Thanks.”

“My pleasure,” he replies as he stands up, before leaning over to button their lips together in a quick kiss.

“I think the pleasure’s all mine, but let’s rectify that,” she mutters as she pulls away. “What do you want? You tell me and I’ll give it to you. Do you want me to get you off slowly or do you want to fuck my mouth?”

“Fuck,” he groans in frustration. “You’re gonna kill me here. I’ve got a deposition in- shit, two minutes. I’ve got to go now. Catch ya later doll.”

She shakes her head, chuckling as she watches him rushing out of her office. “Later, shithead.”

Isn’t it just funny how the universe works sometimes? Six months ago they couldn’t even be in the same room without having a scream-whisper match, but here they are half a year later, happily handing each other orgasms like sweets on Halloween. Harry didn’t even know exactly what was bothering her today. He just sensed that she was in a real mood when he swung by her office, so instead of splitting a packet of KitKats right on the dot at three o’clock like usual, he closed the door and switched on the panel by the door so the transparent glass wall turned translucent to give them privacy, and then he went down on her without saying another word.

The perks of being friends instead of foes with Harry is that she gets to find out that Harry’s oral skills are not limited to advocacy and sarcasm. And not to mention that he’s a very generous man. Sure, it’s not a trait particularly needed in a best friend and colleague, but fuck if that’s not something that is much appreciated. At first, obviously it wasn’t easy for YN to hang the white flag above her head. Her ego was badly bruised when the firm made Harry Senior Partner instead of her in the beginning of the year, making her feel that all the long hours and the all-nighters she’d pulled were all for nothing. She felt like she gave up her social life for nothing, basically put her life on hold for nothing and gave her all to her firm for nothing. She felt unappreciated, and the easiest target to channel all her anger and frustration was Harry. Because come on, who else was she supposed to be mad at? Her boss? It’d be like being mad at Gandhi.

It definitely got much easier when she finally let the resentment go, the fact that he was the one being promoted. Especially knowing well the reason was only because he came from a bigger law firm, and that he came bearing gifts—the gifts being five huge clients from his old firm—when he came into her firm earlier this year. She’s accepted the fact that him being promoted instead of her doesn’t mean that she’s not a damn good lawyer. Hell, she’s got a hundred percent win record to prove that. It was easier to hate him when she didn’t know him, but as they began working on cases together and she got the chance to get to know him more, she knew he deserved it. 

If you ask YN, she’d most likely tell you that having a work husband surely beats having an enemy in the office. She loves having Harry as her best friend, her most trusted legal confidant when she needs to strategise on a case and well, as an occasional lover on a bad day. He is her number one ally and advisor, the person she can laugh with and be stressed with, have politically incorrect conversations with, and give her bone-deep honest opinions to. He supports her and helps her with her cases—not that she needs help because again, she’s one hell of a lawyer, but it’s surely nice to have an extra brain in the case sometimes. 

Fuck, she really does owe Harry a good one tonight for giving her a nice distraction.

A ding sound from her phone brings her back to reality. She darts her eyes at her phone for a second, and she lets out a heavy sigh when she reads the name on the screen. It’s a text to confirm the dinner meeting tonight at The Berkeley, definitely one that she can’t avoid since he’s a huge client, but more importantly, one that she dreads to meet.

You see, there’s a large part of life that we call normalcy. Eat, sleep, take a shower. Wearing underwear inside our clothes instead of outside like Batman and Superman. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Most people drink coffee in the morning. Thirty minutes of cardio three times a week. 

As pathetic as this may sound, pining for Luke, that said client who also happens to be her ex-boyfriend has been YN’s normalcy for the past two years. Luckily, his company is her client and not the man himself so she got away with keeping contact to a  bare minimum. Meeting him only about two to three times a year and only when it’s absolutely necessary and cannot be handled by his General Counsel. But apparently, his step-father decided to retire and pass his hotel business to him—honestly, as if he’s not bloody minted already—and he needs her now more than ever because even though he knows his way around the business world, this whole thing is a new territory for him. 

This is the second time in a week that he’s arranged a meeting and only God knows how many more meetings with him she could take. Because, as always, his presence means the absence of her sanity. And she hates it.

Welcome to YN’s fucked up life.

***

“I still don’t know why you want me to go with you,” Harry says, turning to look at her when they stop at a red light. Even though it’s dark outside, the neon-blue lights from the interior electronics cast the angles of his face handsomely.

He’s driving both himself and YN to The Berkeley where they’ll be meeting Luke for a dinner meeting to discuss his new business and his plan to merge with another hotel group. Which is an absolutely terrible idea and YN plans to talk him out of it tonight. It’s probably easier said than done though, because she knows Luke and she’s definitely familiar with how stubborn he can be. 

There are a lot of things about Luke that she still remembers. He pretends to hate those mini chocolate muffins but he actually loves them. He drinks his coffee at six thirty sharp every morning, yes, even on the weekends. He loves jogging and sometimes he wishes he’s an athlete so that he can get paid just to run and play football all day long. Even though he’s rich as sin—and God, fit as fuck too—he’s humble and definitely not flashy, so if you see him without his suits, you’d probably never guess that he doesn’t actually need to work a day in his life because he comes from old money. But Luke is different. He never touched his trust fund and he was determined to create his own business from scratch.

He’d just started his business around the same time YN started working in her firm as an associate, so she saw it right before her eyes how hard he worked during those first few years as he nurtured his business. His company was one of the first clients that she’d been assigned to work on, and when she got promoted to Junior Partner, her mentor gave her The White Company as her first official client. The timing couldn’t be more brilliant since she and Luke just broke up two days prior, but she knew there was no way she could turn down such a big business.

Fuck, she’s thinking about him again. She immediately makes a mental note in her head to ask Harry for an extra orgasm tonight to keep him out of her mind. But now she can’t help snickering at the thought because she makes it sounds as if she’s asking for extra ketchup. 

“Cat got your tongue?” He asks and she turns to look at him. He gives her a tiny smirk before his eyes get back on the road, but he reaches his hand out to her bare knee to give her a squeeze. “Still haven’t answered me, doll.”

“Sorry- what did you ask?”

“Why did you want me to go with you?” He asks again. “He wants to merge, right? That’s totally your thing. You don’t need me.”

“You helped me with his crisis a few months ago,” she reminds him. “Just thought we could do his business together again. He’ll be happy he’s getting two partners, the firm will be happy because they can charge double. It’s a win-win, really.”

“Bollocks that,” Harry laughs. “Worst bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

“That’s all, honest,” she feigns innocence.

“Honey, I didn’t go through law school for nothing, did I?” He replies without moving his head, keeping his eyes on the road. “You’re using me as a human condom, aren’t you?”

“What the hell does that even mean?” She drops her jaw in shock at the fact that he calls her out on the carpet just like that.

“You’re afraid you’ll catch feelings again if you’re left alone with him, so you bring me as a shield. Am I right?” He asks her with an accusatory eyebrow raise. “You know what, no need to answer that. Of course I’m right.”

“I told you, he’s just a client now,” she insists, trying to ignore her heart pounding in her chest as Harry’s hand inches its way up her thigh. It’s incredibly arousing, but she also finds it a little disturbing since they’re having a conversation about a man she’s head over heels for. She almost want him to stop but fuck if she’s going to ask him.

“Look, I don’t know exactly what’s going on here,” he says, and it’s really hard for her to concentrate on what he’s saying since he’s squeezing her thigh. His fingers pressing deep into her muscles and she can only wish they’re a few inches higher. “But if in any way you want to get him back, just say the word and I’ll back away, yeah?”

“There’s nothing going on, Harry,” she reassures him. “You’ve got to trust me on this. He’s just a client now.” 

“You sure?” Harry asks again. Turning to look at her briefly before he pulls into a parking space and puts the car in park, but she can tell by the tone in his voice that he doesn’t buy a single thing she’s said.

“I’m sure,” she nods reassuringly.

Harry grins as he reaches up and tweaks her on the nose. “You’re cute when you lie.”

“Shut up, shithead,” she mutters as she pulls on the door handle. It opens and she steps out, taking a moment to smooth down her dress. Leaning back down, she looks inside the car to look at Harry and give him a wink. “Now let’s go. The sooner we get this done, the sooner I can reciprocate.”

***

“You have it bad for him, don’t you?” Harry cocks an eyebrow at her accusingly, not even bothering to wait until Luke disappears past the lift to take a call.

YN blinks in surprise at his accusation, but instead of denying it for the second time tonight, she finally concedes. “Is it that obvious?”

“Holy shit,” this time, it’s Harry’s turn to look at her in surprise. He definitely wasn’t expecting her to admit it, but fuck if he believed that bullshit she told him in the car. “No, it’s not obvious. But I know you better than anyone in this room.”

She chuckles, before taking a swig of her Chardonnay. “True.”

“I meant what I said earlier in the car,” Harry reminds her. “Just say the word and I’ll back away. He’s probably still into you too.”

She just stares at him for a second. She’s obviously contemplating something, he can tell. He braces, wondering if she’ll finally tell him to back away. He has to remind himself to be cool, to just nod and smile if she actually does say that. They’re not exclusive, and as amazing as this last six months has been, he knows all good things come to an end. He has no absolute reason to be upset, he knows that. And as her best friend he only wants the best for her. If she thinks Luke can make her happy, then so be it.

He’s ready for her to tell him to back away. He does. Not saying that he’ll be happy, but he’ll accept it. So imagine his surprise when she gives him a smirk and says, “let’s go all the way tonight.”

Harry’s head shoots up, and he narrows his eyes at her. “You fucking with me?”

“I was hoping you’d be the one doing all the fucking,” she murmurs, still smiling coyly at him and somehow has the audacity to dip her eyes in a completely fake showing of shyness.

Harry’s eight-inch piece of equipment that had been jumping and twitching like an excited puppy now goes to full mast, pushing hard against his zipper. He drains the rest of his drink in one big gulp, not wanting to waste any time. “Stay here and wait for him to finish that sodding call. Make up an excuse for me and distract him while I go and try to get us a room upstairs.”

“You do realise that my flat is literally ten minutes away from here right? And your place is like, what, twenty minutes tops?”

“Upstairs is closer,” he lowers his voice huskily. “They have beds too.”

Her eyes sparkle with excitement. “Beds, huh?”

“What? Don’t fancy shaggin’ on a bed?” He says with a smirk, sitting straighter as he smooths his tie. “I’ll see if they’ve got anything with a balcony then.”

“You’re a lawyer, aren’t you?” She mocks, rolling her eyes. “Does the word indecent exposure mean anything to you?”

“Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

“I did,” she challenges him with a spark of defiance in her eyes. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

“Do that again and you’ll get the palm of my hand,” he tells her ominously.

“You’re all mouth and no trousers, Styles,” she taunts him. 

“Good luck trying to sit tomorrow.”

***

In less than fifteen minutes, YN is standing in a lift with Harry’s lips roaming her neck and his finger sinking deep inside of her.

She didn’t have to make up an excuse when Luke went back to their table after taking the call. Apparently, there was some emergency and he needed to get back to his office as soon as possible for an emergency meeting with the boards. She assured him it was fine and that they could easily arrange another meeting to further talk about his plan to merge with another hotel group.

Harry doesn’t waste much time as he pushes the button to their floor and the doors close. He stalks towards her, cupping her head to bring her mouth to his, and his other hand going directly between her legs. She slips her tongue into his mouth and touches it against his, the vibe of the kiss turning a bit dirty. It’s a thrilling turn on, causing waves of pleasure to pulse through both of them. His tongue ends up dominating hers in the most searing, sexually explosive kiss she’d ever been given.

His hand softly fondles her for a moment, and then he’s inside of her, curling his finger in a way that has her knees buckling. He immediately saves the day by pushing one of his legs in between hers to hold her steady. He knows he doesn’t have time to get her off before they reach their floor, so he breaks the kiss and roams his lips along her neck lightly, moving his finger in and out of her leisurely but so very deeply. Her hips flex against him, trying to demand more, but she’s just going to have to wait.

When the lift starts to slow near their floor, he calmly removes his hand, smoothes her dress down, and gives her a light kiss on the nose.

He’s smiling at her as he closes the door behind them, in a completely relaxed, but thank fuck we’re finally doing this and I’m here to fuck you senseless kind of way, and it manages to show the two dimples he sports on either side of his full lips.

Their lips meet again as he leans in, softly at first, just a taste to whet the appetite. His arms tighten around her, and he increases the pressure, urging her to open up and let him in. He’s a force to be reckoned with in a courtroom, and fuck if she’s not thanking her lucky stars that he’s just the same in the bedroom. He moves his lips against hers, making delicious little thrusts and flicks with his tongue, teasing and tantalising, all while stroking her back in the most incredibly sensual way that makes her tingling from head to toe. 

He loves how she just melts against him when he rubs her back, and how adorably dazed she looks just from a kiss. Grinning at her, he reaches a finger out to tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. The blood in his dick thumps, eagerly demanding to move things along, but he’s determined to take his time with her. 

Her mouth waters as her hands work at his belt buckle. His cock is thick and hard when she pulls him free of his boxer briefs, and she drops to her knees with her hand wrapped around his girth. It’s standing straight up before her after she releases it for a second, and she melts at the sight. There’s one perfectly thick vein running straight up the middle, but then it veers off at an angle. And although this is certainly not the first time she sees it, she can’t help but cock her head to the side just to see where it goes. 

He palms the side of her head with one hand and holds her hair in a ponytail at the back of her head with the other. Looking up at him, she can see his jaw is locked tight and his chest is rising and falling rapidly.

She squeezes him hard, just the way she knows how he likes, and strokes up and down a few times, making him groan. His head falls back, eyes squeezed shut. “Please, sweetheart.”

“Ssh,” she shushes him before she murmurs low in her throat. “I’ve got you.”

She finally opens her mouth, bares her teeth slightly, and then scrapes them lightly over the tip. A long, deep groan rumbles out of him, his eyes remain shut tight. Exhilaration and victory swells within her, knowing that just that one tiny touch reduced him to utter helplessness. 

He opens his eyes, gazing at her. His voice is thickened and gruff when he says, “you’ve got no idea how beautiful you look while on your knees before me.”

She responds to him by leaning in, and without hesitation taking the tip of him into her mouth, making him groan in relief. He grips her lightly, his fingers pressing into her scalp as a means of holding her steady and not to force action. She licks and sucks, squeezing and stroking him with her hand. He’s watching her from above with lust on his face, and she’s savouring every little groan she drags out of this normally stoic man. She flutters her tongue on the sensitive underside just below the head of his cock, her hand gently squeezing his balls as she works his shaft. 

“Been dying to get that cherry lipstick on my cock,” he mutters softly, she can barely hear him. He grits his teeth as he slowly pulls out of her mouth. “Knew that red lipstick would look good on me.”

Her eyes slide to his cock, and she has no clue what her mouth looks like, but she’s absolutely sure most of her lipstick is gone since it’s smeared beautifully along the length of his shaft. She tries to take it back into her mouth, determined to bring him into completion that way, but his hand immediately covers her, holding her still while his eyes pin her in place. “Wanna be inside you.”

He helps her stand on her feet, and the next thing she knows, her dress pools around her ankle. His hands come to the back of her bra, flicking it open and pulling it from her. Then he drops to his knees before her. Fingers going under her knickers, he pulls them down just enough to gain access and runs his tongue up her centre. 

He had fantasised about her naked before him more times than he could probably admit that he has to blink twice to convince himself that this time is real. And fuck if it isn’t much better than his dreams.

“Bed,” he commands, and she crawls on it with the intent to lay in a sexy pose as she turns over to face him, but he’s on the bed with her, quick as lightning, and flips her to her back.

Her eyes go up to find him staring at her tits, and she can’t help but joke. “They don’t bite, you know.”

His gaze comes up to meet hers, and his lips curve slightly. “But I do. It’s probably going to hurt a little.”

A shudder ripples through her, and her nipples harden. His eyes flick back down to her breasts. She swallows hard at the anticipation, the thought of him getting a little rough with them is thrilling, but there’s something else she wants more right now.

“I’m fucking dying to be inside you right now,” he whispers in her ear. His admission elicits a deep moan to escape from her lips. “Last chance to change your mind, doll.”

“Please just fuck me already,” she whimpers, her hands roaming his body. Every glide of her fingers over his skin fills him with a fullness he’s never experienced before. “I’m losing my mind.”

With one hand pressed into the mattress, Harry uses the other to take his cock in hand. He dips his hips, pressing the tip right into her entrance. Blowing out a breath, he brings his eyes to hers and holds her captive, finally thrusts deeply into her. She screams, not in pain but in pure fucking ecstasy, as he fills her up. Harry bottoms out, his pelvis pressed hard into hers. 

Baring his teeth, he mutters, “fuck… that feels good.”

“Would feel better if you move,” she suggests with a smirk.

Harry stays completely still inside of her. He breathes in deeply, closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them up again, he gives her a sheepish grin. “I’m afraid to move. Afraid I might embarrass myself and blow my load in about two nanoseconds.”

She lets out a giggle, pretty sure that’s the one and only time in her life she’s ever done something so girly. Harry laughs huskily and kisses her hard. He doesn’t move an inch from his waist down but just kisses her deeply with thorough possession. When he pulls away, he tentatively circles his hips, grinding into her.

“Fuck,” Harry mutters, and drops his forehead to hers. “Yeah… definitely not gonna last long.”

Her hands go into his hair and she massages his scalp, incredibly touched and turned on over his reaction to her. She tugs on his hair, pulling his face away from hers. “Harry?”

He moves reluctantly and looks down at her with that same abashed look. She tilts her hips, clenches her internal muscles around his cock, and then rubs her thumbs into his scalp.

“Let go,” she commands him softly. “Fuck me hard and come as fast as you want. We’ve got all night.”

***

Harry’s hand reaches out, tapping the screen on his phone to turn the alarm off, laying silently in the predawn gloom pondering about his situation at this very moment.

There’s a naked, beautiful woman on top of him, and fuck if he can remember when was the last time he woke up with someone else in his bed. It’s not that he’s averse to cuddles; if the woman wants a cuddle with him after sex, he’d give it to them. The act of intimacy like that doesn’t scare him whatsoever. But normally he’d be out of their hair long before the sun is up, leaving them to wake up alone and him to start his day as if the night before didn’t happen.

He always tells himself to forget whoever he shags the night before no matter how great of a fuck she was, although he’ll allow himself to bring forth the memories when he jerks off if needed. 

YN fell asleep a few hours prior, spread-eagled over his body right after she collapsed from the most recent fuck-fest. She came, he came, then she fell forwards onto his chest and was out like a light. And he left her right there all night. Letting her lie on top of him, calling it a day well completed and went to sleep himself.

His hand slides down from her stomach right between her legs, his fingers swiping through her folds which become slicker with desire the more he plays. She softly moans in her sleep and her lower body starts to squirm. Her breathing hitches, and the second she cracks her eyes open, she gives him that happy, sleepy, please fuck me again smile. 

He gently eases her down from the top of his chest to lay beside him, rolling her to the side so her back is facing him. Then he pushes her outer leg up, sliding his body down just a little bit, angling his cock to slip into her from behind. 

Harry moves slowly as he’s spooned around her and she moans in pure bliss as he fills her up. The arm that her head is resting on comes up to curve across her chest and hold her tight. His other hand grips the back of her thigh firmly to pin her in place.

“More,” she whispers on a forced exhalation. 

“Fuck me,” he mumbles against her hair. “My girl wants more.”

And he gives her more. Fucking her exquisitely and with no doubt that neither of them has ever had it that good. He takes her higher and higher, the sweet words that he’s whispering in her ear is the complete opposite of the kinky shit they did last night. 

“Balcony?”

YN didn’t hesitate, following right behind him as he pushed the doors open. A light breeze filters in but it’s still muggy outside. They’re on the seventh floor, and they can still hear the rumble of engines and the honking of horns below them. The quiet darkness of Belgravia stretches out beyond.

Harry walked up to the edge of the balcony, which was made of stone and concrete, sitting about three and a half feet high. He pulled her into his arms and gave her a searing kiss. She moaned, slipping her tongue in his mouth and gripped onto his shoulders. The kiss was deep and wet, and honestly, the best kind of kiss.

He pushed her up against the wall, laying a palm over one breast. Squeezing, plumping, testing the weight in his hand. He rubbed a thumbnail over her nipple, eliciting the softest sigh from her. 

He brought his other hand south. Straight shot, right to her centre. Her head dropped to his shoulder as his fingertips continued to circle and rub against her. Within minutes she had his fingers deep inside her and his thumb working her hard. He wanted nothing more than to just line up and push his way in, but he waited. He waited until he saw her trembling became a little fiercer, her body tensed, and when she sucked in a large gulp of air, he knew that was his cue.

He quickly removed his fingers, bracing his hands on her hips and slammed forward. She took him all the way in and he cursed under his breath as he felt her spasm all around him when she came. For a second he thought about hitting it hard, chasing another orgasm, but then he decided against it, wanting to relish the scenery and listen to the sounds of the city.

“Let’s just quit our jobs and fuck all day,” Harry jokes as he drops her leg back down into place.

“Sounds good to me,” she laughs as she reaches around him, grabbing the complimentary bottle of water on the nightstand, taking a sip before she hands it to him and he finishes it in a couple of long swallows. 

“Thirsty?”

“Starving too,” he replies in a way that doesn’t make her think he wants some bacon and eggs. 

Within seconds, he has her on her back again as he slides down her body, roughly pushing her legs apart. Her hands shoot out, grabbing the sides of his head before he gets the chance to descend even lower. “No.”

“What?”

“Let me get cleaned up first,” she says lamely, pretty sure she’s killed the mood. “I mean… I’m filled with-”

Harry ignores her, cutting her off by dropping his mouth right between her legs and begins sucking. She shrieks from the warm contact, surprised by how sensitive she is, and as he lifts his gaze to hers, he murmurs. “That’s you and me together, and we taste fucking delicious.”

Her body trembles from his words, and through a dry and parched throat she croaks, “then by all means.”

“Thank you,” he says with a wink, then proceeds to bring her to another shattering orgasm that totally wrecks her.

[futurewriter2000]

Longer

A/N: What does pissed off Tijana make? She makes angst. So enjoy.

XX

How long does it take a male human being to realize that he is indeed an asshole? Maybe not the longest of time because you didn’t wait for the longest... you waited longer than you intended to. 

It was around the end of May when you and James Potter got into a big fight. He was your best friend in the entire world. There was nothing but trust, loyalty and respect in your friendship. He did everything for you and you did everything for him. All up until the two of you got into another stupid fight that never led into an apology or another word. 

You had waited three days, weeks, months, a whole season and still neither of you made contact. For you it was nothing but pure anxiety, sorrow and fury. 

There were a few steps you had to take when you lost your closest friend. 

Step number one: Fury.  You had never felt more angry in your entire life when he did not apologize. You felt prideful and egoistic, just like him. Both of you had managed to share a specific, horrible trait; stubborness.

Step number two: Sorrow. When something good happened to you, all you wanted to do at that moment was tell your best friend. It took you a second or two to realize that he didn’t exist to you anymore. Sadness and regret, filled your stomach, your heart and your brain went on overdrive with memories until tears fell down your cheeks and you burried your head into a small pillow in your bed. It consumed all your tears and buggers, you pleas to bring him back to you. Yet, you were still too prideful and stubborn to make that first step. No matter, how sad you were.

Step number three: Confusion.  There was a time in month number three where you found yourself thinking that what if you were in love with you best friend all along?- Dreams kept talking to you, bringing him to life in your mind, letting him hold you, smile with you, tease, joke around... everything that felt so much like home. Each time you woke up after those emotional dreams, you felt somethign squeeze your heart and your mind went to places you had never though existed. 

Step number four: Acceptance. Fifth month in and you had managed to accept the fact that the conversation between the two of you will never happen. This time your mind was a bit clearer. You were determined to know that: Yes, he was your best friend. Yes, you did care for him but you were never in love with him. Yes, you missed him- but more or so, you missed the memories than him. In those five months he could become a new person. A person you would not recognise. 

You thought that was the end. You haven’t seen him much around school, barely never because he was always on Head Boy duty. You were happy for him of course, no matter how much he hurt you. Sometimes you could feel those thoughts in your mind saying: ‘It’s your fault.’ - but you knew that was just anxiety. 

It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. You did what you felt was right to do in that moment. It hurt, it put you through shit but you’re here and you’re better. 

Or so you thought. 

You walked by the common room to find your classmate. She was supposed give you back her notebook. Both of you decided to meet in the Gryffindor common room and you had been waiting for her to come from her dorm. 

You wished that you hadn’t chosen that meet place. You thought you were strong enough but you saw them together on the sofa near the fire and it was like a pierce through the heart that made you stop to breathe. 

So you left because the steps weren’t over yet. 

Step number five: Test.

You ran to your room and you paced around your bed. Fortunately, you were alone and that was good because now you could feel and think however you want without anybody noticing. Your whole body was in overdrive. There was fury in your head, sorrow in your stomach, acceptance in your heart yet you couldn’t. 

You fell into the sheets and watered your pillow once again. 

---

It felt like you weren’t alive anymore. Your heart kept throbbing into existance, your mind screaming. 

That poor pillow didn’t stand a chance. It was wet, beaten and thrown around but it still managed to survive without a tear. 

You put some sad music on, for your mood and hugged the poor pillow. Your cheeks were wet, your eyes filled with fresh tears and focused on the ceiling. 

You hadn’t even heard the knock on the door. You only felt his presance and for a moment you thought you were going crazy. When you found him staring at you with an unreadable expression, you knew he was real.

Or was he?

Your mind really couldn’t process much anymore. It was out of batteries. 

“Are you really here?” you narrowed your puffy eyes at him and he squeezed his fists a bit, glancing at the floor before making his way to you. 

“You look...” he tried to joke but he couldn’t, not when you looked so broken. “...like you haven’t slept or eaten anything in two weeks.” 

You kept looking at him and though he was far away, it felt like he was choking you with his bare hands, causing you not to speak. You squeezed your pillow instead and turned to the side. “Leave.” you mumbled into the pillow, throat squeezing and tears falling. 

“Do you really want me to leave?” he asked softly.

“No.” you whispered really quietly into the pillow, closing your eyes as stronger, thicker tears fell down your cheeks. 

He didn’t hear you but he heard something and he took that as a no. He sat on the edge of the bed and locked his fingers together. “Your friends told me you haven’t left your bed and that you-” he cleared his throat. “-and that you cry every night because of me. That it’s my fault.” 

“They don’t know what they are talking about.” you replied with a raspy voice, staring at the doorknob of the warderobe, that stood so innocently still in front of you. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you being gone from classes.” 

“I’m sick.”

“You’re sad.”

“I’m sick of you.” you replied harshly, sitting up and feelign that same fury bubble inside of you. 

“You ignored me.” he replied just as harsh.

“And you let me.” you glared at him.

He didn’t like what he saw. Your eyes were red, your nose, your cheeks sunken in and your skin was pale. 

“I was mad at you James. Mad! And I was done appologising for what I said! I cared too much and you didn’t let me.”

“What is that even supposed to mean?!” he said but as soon as he did, you stood up from the bed and started pacing around. You knew you only had a shirt on and underwear but at that moment that was the least thing of your problems. “Oh, bloody hell, (y/N).” he turned away. “Put some pants on.” he kept looking away as you paced up and down the room. 

“No.” the stubborness in your voice made him look at you directly into your eyes, fire burning in both, yours an his. 

He stood up and left to that innocently still warderobe, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and giving them to you. “Put them on.” he ordered, growling and gritting his teeth as his eyes challenged yours. “Or I will.”

You grabbed the sweatpants from his hands and put them on yet your breasts were still visible through the shirt. He didn’t want to say anything because he knew you and he knew that if he did what he just did, you would throw him through the window. 

“So, suddenly you care? HUh?” you snapped, tightening the waistband around your hips. 

You lost weight as well. - he noticed. He didn’t like seeing you so low. 

“I always cared-”

“No! You pretended to care!”

“I DID CARE!” he shouted louder but you didn’t let his voice overthrow yours.

“WHEN!? WHERE?! HOW?!” you shouted louder. 

“YOU IGNORED ME!”

“BECAUSE YOU PRETENDED LIKE NOTHING WAS WRONG!”

“I WANTED TO MOVE ON!”

“ AND I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT!! Friends talk!”

“Friends also do not ignore!”

“Well, it clearly did not bother you. You had managed to move on without a single care in the world.”

He stormed towards you, his finger pointed at your chest and pressing on it. “Don’t for a moment think I did not care. I did but you are so dramatic-”

“I just wanted you to open up to me! I asked, you ignored me, I confronted you and you snapped at me. Then I ignored you.”

“I didn’t want to tell you!”

“Fuck you, James!” you pushed him away. “Fuck you and your stupid depressed episodes! Do you know how many times I wanted to tell you something that was bothering me but I couldn’t because you didn’t let me. It soon became a topic around you and how you were feeling. I had to lift you up when I couldn’t even lift myself up! I cared! I would have died for you. I would have lived for you. I would have killed for you!”

“I didn’t ask you too! You offered!”

“BECAUSE I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!” you punched his chest, pushing him away, kicking him, throwing hands wherever they could hit him. You were so furious and so sad at the same time. You felt ashamed and defeated. You felt like your whole body would just crumble beneath you. 

You didn’t know what was happening. Everything around you was just numb. The sound, the temperature, the smell,... your whole existance. 

Crying, thinking, not moving, not eating... it took all the energy from you. Your head was throbbing, your heart racing and your legs giving into gravity. You fell on your knees, throwing your head into your head and realizing what you had just said. 

You were in love with your best friend all this time. “I hate you.” you sobbed, feeling him stand beside you. 

He had no words. He had no thoughts whatsoever. He just stood there meanwhile you cried. He squated down to you and put his hands on your knees. He didn’t say anything but you had to. You removed your hands from your face, wiped away the tears and looked at him. “I got hurt for loving you.” you smiled, wiping more tears from your cheeks and letting out a laugh. “And you didn’t give a single fuck.” you pushed him back until he fell from his feet. You stood up and smiled until that smile became terrifying to him. “How pathethic of me?” you let out another laugh, turning him his back.

“That’s not fair, (y/n).” he said, looking up at you.

“Not fair?” you turned around. “What’s not fair is you moving on so fast!”

“What did you expect me to do? Wait for you to come to your senses?!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT!” tears streamed down your cheeks but this time you felt annoyed by how many you managed to produce. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. When you told me how hurt you were when Sirius came to you- that was the day I wanted to tell you how alone and lonely I feel. How nobody fought for me! How everybody used me- how horrible I felt as a person! I wanted to tell you my insecurities, my dark thoughts but  I am so glad I didn’t! So glad! I am so happy that I did what I did because it showed me that you weren’t worth a tear, not one but I shed so many for you.” you grabbed your wand and continued to look at him with a disgusted look in your face. “Asshole.” you past him by and out of your room until everything- every single emotion for him was dead to you. 

[yoonsshadow]

BLIZZARD BLUES ⎯ myg

⇰ summary ; There’s a storm coming. Literally. And some idiot is standing outside singing Christmas carols.

⇰ pairing ; yoongi x fem!reader

⇰ genres ; strangers to friends to lovers[?], snowstorm!au, romance, fast burn [?]

⇰ themes ; fluff, a bit of crack

⇰ warnings ; talk of a natural disaster [blizzard], lots of banter, brief talk of male genitalia [balls lol], a bunch of sweetness

⇰ word count ; 1.8k

⇰ note ; Happy holidays everybody!! I hope that you all have a safe and happy day, no matter what you are celebrating. [Also this is largely unedited.] xx

It doesn’t always snow on Christmas Eve. Sometimes, when the sky feels selfish, it will open its clouds and welcome through the sunlight, especially harsh against the previous snowfall that is melting on the ground. What was once a white wonderland, snowflakes clustered together in a fine powder, becomes a muddy expanse of grass, dampened by the flowing tears of the melted icicles.

The magic of Christmas, so often associated with the pure white sheen of snowfall, is gone within hours of a clear sky.

But not today.

Today, the sky is selfish in a very distinctly opposite way.

“Temperatures will be reaching a record-low tonight, and snowfall is expected to only get heavier. With the possibility of a blizzard on the way, citizens are urged to stay indoors tonight.”

“Aish.” Licking droplets of mulled wine from your lips, you sigh at the latest news update. Just yesterday, you had been complaining of the warmth in the air, expecting yet another disappointment out of Christmas Eve. The universe seems to have answered your pessimism with a natural disaster.

Thankfully, you are one of the many lucky ones with a roof over your head tonight. The townhouse is small by standard means, but it feels so big to you. Though it may be cosy, it holds everything that is important to you, every memory that you have collected over your life, every momentum that has ever brought you joy. It is an extension of yourself, of your innermost being, and now it even protects you from the howling wind that you can hear picking up outside.

As you sit in front of your roaring fireplace, wrapped in blankets and listening to the Michael Bublé christmas album play on your scratchy record player, you think that maybe this is serenity; this feeling of calm, of contentment, when chaos surrounds you.

A harsh knock at your front door breaks through the sound of the wind.

At first, you think that maybe it was a trick of the mind, or perhaps a branch hitting a window, but the rapid knock-knock-knock against the wood is far too deliberate to be a mistake. Plus, when it’s followed by several more⎯⎯less patient⎯⎯knocks, you know that someone is here. At your house. At ten o’clock at night, as a blizzard is brewing.

It takes a moment to detangle yourself from your comfortable cocoon of blankets, but you eventually shuffle to the door as quickly as your cold toes [the things just never seem to be warm] will allow. You’re expecting an emergency official telling you to evacuate, or a neighbour asking to borrow supplies.

You don’t expect a shivering, disgruntled man reluctantly singing ‘Oh Christmas Tree’.

“Your boughs so green in summertime...stay bravely green in wintertime...O tannenbaum, O Christmas Tree...How lovely are thy branches…”

“Are you seriously carolling right now?”

The man stops his ‘singing’ to glare at you, as if you’ve just interrupted the most important performance of his life. “Hey, either let me finish the song or let me move on. It’s fucking cold out here.”

“No, but like, why are you singing at all? Didn’t you see the news?” The chill of the wind is biting at you even through all of your layers, so you don’t know how he’s surviving right now.

The man sighs, the air fogging in front of his face. “Look, lady, I lost a bet, okay? I gotta sing these carols, and I’m not backing out just because it feels like my internal organs are shutting down. So, what’ll it be? I can take song requests, if you’re feeling spicy.”

It takes you barely a moment to make your decision. “Option C. Come here.”

And you all but drag him into your house.

“Y’know, this could be considered kidnapping,” the stranger says as he slides out of his soaked jacket and toes off his boots. Despite his words, he doesn’t seem at all reluctant to be within your warm abode. “You could at least take me to dinner before inviting me in.’

His voice sounds harsh, mean even, but for some reason you aren’t intimidated by him. Maybe it’s the way his nose shines pink from the cold.

“Well,” you say, already gathering some towels for him, “it seems as though you haven’t watched the news in the last three hours. There’s a blizzard on the way, buddy, and you looked about halfway to frozen already. I thought that I would save the neighbours the trauma of digging your body out of the snow.”

“How considerate.”

“What’s your name, by the way? Since I’m extending my home and hospitality to you. I’m Y/N.”

“Yoongi. Also, you barely extended anything. More like forced. But, I’m a kind man, so I’ll let you believe that you’re being selfless. It is Christmas, after all.”

“And a merry Christmas to you too, mister Yoongi.”

“Ugh. Don’t call me mister.”

“Whatever. You should go take a shower to warm up, I should have some of my dad’s clothes for you to wear. I also have a shit-tonne of blankets and a big pot of mulled wine, so whenever you’re done just come downstairs and sit by the fire. And don’t steal anything. Or piss on the carpets.”

“Oddly specific, but okay. Thanks, generous kidnapper.”

Yoongi takes nearly an hour before he re-emerges from upstairs, to the point where you wonder if he’s actually pissing in your carpets. He looks clean, though, and flushed with warmth. And absolutely adorable in the ugly, oversized Christmas sweater that you laid out for him.

“This is fucking horrendous.”

A snort escapes you at his blunt statement, watching as he sinks into an armchair opposite you. His hair is sticking out from where he’s hastily dried it. “Thank you. My dad is the reigning champion in his workplace ugly sweater competition. He takes immense pride in inducing nausea. Want some wine?”

“Absolutely.”

When you pass him a mug, the liquid steaming and aromatic, he seems to pause, hesitation in the grip of his fingers. You give him the time he needs to arrange his words.

“I guess, um...thank you. For bringing me inside.” Yoongi isn’t meeting your eyes, but the tips of his ears are turning pink. “I was probably too stubborn to realise how bad it was and...I don’t know, it could’ve ended up really bad. So. Thanks.”

“Hey.” His eyes flicker up, briefly, but enough to see the bashfulness hiding behind all that sarcasm. “It’s seriously fine, but you’ve got to make a habit out of taking care of yourself. I’ve known you for two hours and even I can tell that you don’t take yourself very seriously. Hell, I could’ve been a serial killer, and you still just walked into my house.”

“I could’ve been a serial killer as well, hypocrite.”

“Killer Caroller does have a certain ring to it,” you admit. He’s deflecting, but you accept the divergence easily. “So, mister serial killer-”

“Don’t call me mister.”

“-Why don’t you tell me about yourself? There’s a chance that you’ll be here for a little while, so we may as well become acquainted.”

Taking a lingering sip from his mug, Yoongi keeps his eyes trained on the fire before him. “My name is Yoongi, I’m a Pisces, and I enjoy long walks on the beach.”

“Romantic.”

“I was born in Daegu.”

“Makes sense.”

“I’m a music producer.”

“Impressive.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, though they hold more mirth than annoyance. “Oh, and what about you, miss charity? Tell me about yourself.”

Biting back a chuckle, you reposition yourself in the armchair to face him better. “Well, my name is Y/N, and I have never been to a beach.”

“That’s sad.”

“I take self-defense classes.”

“Convenient.”

“And I’m a social worker.”

“Very fitting.”

The quick banter between the two of you pulls a smile across your face before you can tamp it down, but it seems like Yoongi is fighting one of his own.

Somehow, you have both converged to your larger couch, huddled together in a wine-drunk, giggly mess.

“No, I seriously would’ve won! But then he totally caught me off guard. I was sabotaged.”

Yoongi’s recounting of the story of how he lost his bet is nothing short of hysterical. “This Jeongguk guy sounds like a menace,” you say, throwing your legs over his lap. “I mean, who swings their balls in a friend’s face just to distract them? That’s just low.”

“Right?!” His voice is so loud, but your little bubble is barely disturbed. “And they were all hairy, too. I swear that I found a pube in my hoodie.”

This sets you off, for some reason, and your chest erupts in light giggles. Yoongi has only told you a few stories about his six male friends, and it has filled you with a kind of joy that you don’t remember ever feeling.

“It’s just...I bet that women aren’t this immature with each other. Am I right?”

You hum. “Sort of, but also not really. A friend of mine once stole my diva cup just because she was mad at me for using her hair brush. I tried to explain that it was an accident, but man was she pissed.”

Yoongi pauses. “What’s a diva cup?”

Blinking at the man that you’re draped across, you bring a hand up to pat his soft cheek. “Oh, honey,” you whisper, offering a small smile.

Slowly but suddenly, his hand comes up to cover yours, keeping it on his face. Your heart skips a beat, but you don’t notice.

“You’re really nice,” he says. His pupils are blown from drinking, and maybe from your faces being so close. Your cheeks are flushed for the same reasons. “And totally not a serial killer.”

“I’m still undecided about you,” you joke, breathing out a laugh. “But I do know that you’re pretty nice, too. And not as bad of a guest as I thought you might be.”

“Is it-” Yoongi cuts himself off, takes a slow breath as he closes his eyes. When he opens them again, he seems determined, if a little nervous. “Is it weird if I say that I enjoy spending time with you? And would, maybe, want to spend more time with you in the future?”

A lazy grin stretches your cheeks as you tuck yourself a little closer to him. It’s peculiar, maybe, that you’ve just met a man that you feel you’ve known your whole life. Curious, perhaps, that conversation with him feels more natural than with most people you know.

But weird?

No, you don’t think so.

“No. Not weird.” You lean forward a bit, shyly; wait for him to maybe do the same. “You do owe me the rest of a Christmas carol, after all.

He does lean forward, just a bit, and just as shy.

[gladiatortale]

My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS! 

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019  The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments: 

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No.  Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020  Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin​ -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “���Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane  Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019​ -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein​ -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully, 

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in. 

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain. 

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies​, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel​ sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING! 

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Part Forty-Nine

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV, XLV, XLVI, XLVII, XLVIII

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: trigger warnings for mentions of past rape and triggers of past parental abuse

It was never fun to have Ash staring him down, eyes glowing bright green to let Lev know Ash absolutely could see him right now. The instinct to fidget under such a frustrated glare was strong.

“My fever didn’t come back,” Lev offered when the silence stretched too long for him to stand.

“Oh?” Ash said. “Why don’t you go ahead and pat yourself on the back for that, then, Lev. Since you think it’s perfectly okay to have intercourse after being brought back from the dead and almost dying from your heat, you must be perfectly fine and not need my help anymore, right?”

Lev shook his head. “No,” he admitted. And... as cranky as the healer was, he had a point. Lev probably should have asked him first. He hadn’t thought it through at all. No, he’d been thinking with his dick, per usual. “I’m sorry,” he added, honestly. “It didn’t occur to me. I should have- should have run it by you first.”

“No shit,” Ash deadpanned. “It’s not like I’m being paid for any of this- or that anyone’s bothering to listen to me about anything, but fine.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Lev touched the back of Ash’s hand. “I really am sorry,” Lev said earnestly. “And- I should have waited. It won’t happen again.”

Ash shoved his hands into his pockets. “See that it doesn’t,” he said. “Do anything else stupid lately? Besides Cameron?”

Lev frowned. “Be nice,” he admonished before he could think to stop himself. A flush crossed his cheeks, but he just went on to say, “Nik wasn’t happy Cam and I...” He shook his head. “And Nik was- he was weird before that.” Lev pulled his knees up to his chest. “Actually, I have a question for you. I... I still don’t remember any of that time. The months I was dead. Is there any way to get that time back?”

Ash looked at him, annoyance rippling across his face. “Yeah,” he said. “But it’s not pleasant. You sure you can handle it?” Ash stopped. “Of course you can, who am I talking to. We don’t listen to my medical expertise, anyways. When do you want it done.”

Lev stared at him. “I don’t know,” he said. “Ash, we don’t have to do anything. It’s not killing me to not know. I don’t think. If you don’t think I should I can wait.”

“No,” Ash said, “It’s not. However, they are your memories and you are entitled to them like you are to your body. It’s just very emotionally taxing and I want to know you can handle it before I decide to go through them.”

Lev gave a small shrug. “I’ll be fine,” he promised. “What- what do we have to do?”

Ash sat down on the coffee table in front of Lev and folded his hands. “We don’t do anything. You let me into your mind and I fix the damaged parts of your temporal lobe. Once it is healed, I can go through your memories and heal them- if you want.”

“What do you mean, heal the... memories?”

“Seperate the emotion from them so you can process. Some memories are too tightly wound with pain that it’s hard to move past them. I take the trauma and you heal.”

Lev looked down. “Is there any way to do that without- I want to learn to heal on my own. I just want the memories accessible to me so I can.”

“We can do that,” Ash said. “But I’ll still have to go through them.”

Lev nodded slowly. “Okay,” he agreed. “Then I don’t have a problem with it.”

“Good,” Ash said, “When do you want to start?”

“As soon as possible,” Lev said. “If that’s okay. If you think that’s wise.”

Ash seemed to think it was well enough, since he leaned forward and cradled Lev’s face. He closed his eyes, hands warming just enough Lev’s face flushed from the heat of Ash’s magic. “Don’t fight me.”

“I won’t,” Lev promised faintly.

Ash seemed to concentrate. His eyebrows furrowed as a pressure built in Lev’s mind. But soon enough Ash pulled back, looking even more annoyed than when he arrived. “There’s nothing to be fixed,” Ash said. “You’re keeping yourself from your memories and I can’t fix that. Well.” He thought on that. “I could, but it would do far more harm than good. How do you feel about a fire in your head?”

It took Lev several seconds to process what Ash meant. “There’s nothing wrong?” Lev finally asked, confused. And then, “A fire in my head seems counterproductive. I don’t want to trigger another fever...”

“Yeah, that was a rhetorical question, genius,” Ash said. “You’re going to need a demon for what you’re wanting. Specifically a telepath. Or to just face your memories head on.”

“Oh,” Lev said softly. “I don’t know any telepaths.” Which meant facing them, apparently. But- Lev didn’t know if he could do that. Didn’t know how to do that.

Cameron snorted from the doorway. “I do,” he said. “Happens to be the queen. Every bit as nasty as you could possibly imagine.”

Ash looked irritable. “Great.”

Lev opened and closed his mouth. “Oh,” he said faintly. “Would- would she even help an angel though?”

“Considering her mate is one,” Ash said, “I give it a 10/90 chance. She hates men more than she hates angels. In fact, from what I understand, she wants to string Nik up by his guts. Though who knows what she’d do with you.”

Because that was comforting. Lev looked to Cameron instead. “Is it a bad idea?” Lev asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” a low feminine voice said from behind Cameron. “Still making up my mind.”

Cameron seemed perfectly unfazed to see the slight, tanned woman who walked straight into the room. The sentries didn’t lift a finger to try and detain her. She cut a cold, calculating look at Lev. She then completely dismissed him and turned her focus right back to Cameron. “Care to tell me why you decided to go ahead and not tell me why you’re performing necromancy in my territories?” She held up a manicured hand and looked at Lev. “He doesn’t seem like much for the effort considering how much unrest seemed to come from this.”

Lev flicked a glance between all three of them before settling his gaze on Cameron again, looking for guidance on how he was supposed to respond. “I’m lucky to have someone who loved me enough to fight for me,” Lev finally said.

The woman lifted a groomed brow at that very diplomatic nonanswer and turned her icy eyes back to Cameron. “And did you love this angel enough to go over my head for such a thing?”

“No,” Cameron said, smoothly, matching her exact tone. “But Amara did.”

Lev winced. “She’s very headstrong,” he said softly.

The woman looked vaguely disgusted. “I’ve noticed,” she said, flatly. “Where’s the annoying one at?” She cut a look at Ash. “And I don’t mean that one.” She turned to Lev. “Do you know or do you not actually know anything besides how to be a thorn in my side.”

“Staying in angel territory,” Lev admitted after a long moment. “Amara’s keeping an eye on him.” He waved his new phone at her halfheartedly. “She says he’s safe.”

“Unfortunate,” She said, with enough deadpan that Lev winced. She stalked over to him and held out her hand. “Phone.” Her tone was laced with pure order.

Lev handed it over without a second thought.

---

Amara sat up, flailing for her phone. Where was it? That was Lev’s ringtone, and she was not going to miss a phone call from him. Without hesitation she crawled over Cin, ignoring his grunt when her knee found his ribs. Half off the bed, she put the phone to her ear. “Lev?” She answered, trying to pull herself back up with one hand.

“Try again.”

“Biela?” Amara asked, letting Cin haul her up. “What are you doing with Lev’s phone?” She paused. “Should I be worried?”

“Should you?” Biela asked, sounding bored. “Still making up my mind. Your answers will probably dictate whether or not you should be.”

“Delightful as ever,” Amara muttered, rubbing her face. She smacked Cin’s hand when he tried to fix her hair, but let him pull her in his lap and nibble on her shoulder. “If you’re pissed I killed Destris, he was a fucking- he deserved it, even if he hadn’t killed my cousin.”

“Why would I care about that piss-poor excuse of a man,” Biela said. “As far as I’m concerned it saves me a dry cleaning bill. I want to know why you decided to bring back an angel from the dead in my territories without my express permission and if you give me some bullshit about you being a mutt I’ll cut your tongue out.”

Well. Biela was in a mood. Normally, Amara would enjoy poking at it, but today she just sighed. “Honestly? Didn’t even cross my mind to ask permission. I did what I had to. And I’ll deal with the consequences of it, if that was a punishable offense. Lev’s done nothing wrong, except not have a single ounce of self preservation.”

Biela made a disgusted sound. “That gives me no reason to care about him,” she said. “However, as I just got my nails done, I won’t just kill him and put him back where he belongs. For now.” Biela was quiet for a moment. “I expect a visit.”

And with that the line went dead.

Amara flopped back with a groan against Cin’s chest. “And people call me a bitch,” she moaned.

“Biela?” Cin asked, tension lining his body.

“Yeah,” Amara muttered. She looked up at him. “Is it bad I’m turned on right now?”

Cin pushed her off his lap.

---

Nik wiggled out from under the several throw blankets Mami had smothered him in when he heard his phone start buzzing. He cleared his throat and frowned when he saw Lev’s name. He wiped his eyes and answered. “Yeah?”

“You go through the troubles of making my life difficult and you’re not even here?”

Nik blinked. “Who the fuck- Biela?” He sat up ramrod straight. “Why do you have Lev’s phone? Listen, he didn’t do anything to you-”

“Of course he didn’t,” Biela said, distaste coating her tone. “Everyone around him did instead. Your brother is mated with your king and I find out through my spies that necromancy is being performed in my territory.”

“Okay?” Nik said, his voice rising. “I don’t know what the fuck you want me to do about it. I’m not the one who fucking did it and Lev’s an angel and Amara likes to flount around that she’s some kind of mutt or whatever, and it was a witch that performed it. My bad you’re straddled with the paperwork.”

He could almost see that tiny, ferocious smile. “And what do you think I should do about it? I have angels in my territories deciding to break the laws of nature because, what, you all think this is a game with no rules? Even think about doing something like this again, and you won’t have to worry about the consequences. There’ll be nothing left of you.”

And with that, she decidedly hung up when his mouth dropped. “That bitch.”

Nik got up and went to find clean clothes.

---

Biela hung up the phone and dropped it into the angel’s lap. She glowered down at him and he only watched her with big golden eyes. The fact he had the nerve to do so after the trouble he caused, when she had no reason to trust or respect the angel, rankled her. She grabbed his chin- if she truly wanted, she could just give a sharp snap and this be done with, however, she gave Amara her word. For now. “Quit staring at me like that,” she said before walking out of the room, motioning for Cameron to follow her.

The sentries all stared down at the floor the moment she came into view on the way to Cameron’s office. The nearest sentry opened the door in time for her to walk inside and take the desk chair for herself.

Cameron stood mildly on the other side of the desk with a straight spine and hands oh so carefully folded behind his back. “At least with the first one,” she said, “I could respect that he was a warrior, even if he kept trying to sleep with me. This one? Is just useless.”

Cameron lifted a slight shoulder. “He keeps Nik on a leash when I’m busy.”

“And the fact they’re both angels?” Biela said. “I did not spend three hundred years in the thick of war for the sons of prominent angels to end up in the bed of one of my lords, Cameron. I have half the mind to feed them to demons and wash my hands of this whole mess.”

She crossed her legs. “However,” she said. “As they both are so heavily tied to the king of Liwen, I’ll let it pass. Bring another angel into this and I will not be so forgiving.”

“Of course,” he said. “Is there anything I can do to ease anxieties?”

She let a smile curl on her lips. “I expect you to debrief your pets. Let them know exactly what will be happening if they stay here. I do find it fascinating that you chose one that could so easily be eaten. Though, he was killed already, so I do suppose it’s not unsurprising.”

Biela rapped her nails against the wooden table. The security risks that these particular angels posed to her people, even if they seemed harmless enough, Biela knew better and she wasn’t going to make the mistake of her country shoved into another war. “Why don’t you tell me if I should be worried about something like this happening again, hm?”

Cameron didn’t blink an eye. “Permission to be frank?”

She waved a hand. “Since you asked.”

“Once more,” he said. “I have the resources to right a wrong done to one of mine. The blood is on my hands and I would like to balance the scales. There would be no security risk; there would be no other costs to worry about.”

“You’re going to perform necromancy. Again.” Biela said. “And why should I let this happen?”

“It’s a demon of your own homeland,” He said. “Your god is his god and he is no one to anyone.”

Her small smile returned. “Except to you,” she said. “Clearly he’s someone to you. You expect me to forgive this operation not only once, but twice? Is that what you are requesting of me?”

“Yes.”

“Because he’s what? From my homeland?” she asked, lifting a brow. “Do you take me for a sentimentalist?”

“I take you for a fair queen who would give her people a chance to make things right,” Cameron replied.

Biela stared him down. She could feel the weight in those perfectly calculated words. Not so long ago she had risked everything to right a wrong done to her. “Your toy mentioned a witch?” she said, finally. “Is that right? I know you’re not bastardizing demonic magic to perform this lunacy.”

“I am not,” he said. “The witch is pulling from Nature.”

She clicked her nails once more. “Where is this witch?”

---

Sorin watched Biela walk in his front door and damn near fell on his face in his haste to stand at attention. “My queen,” he said with a deep bow, even as his heart pounded. He didn’t even dare to ask why she was here. The last time he’d seen her had been when he’d been discharged from the army after Fax had died, and that hadn’t exactly been his best day.

“Where’s the witch?”

Again, Sorin’s chest tightened. “In his study,” Sorin said as he straightened, mouth dry. “Please. He’s all I have.”

Biela paused, leveling him with an unimpressed look. “What exactly do you think I’m going to do to him.”

Sorin didn’t know how to reply. Before he could figure it out, Cyrus appeared from his study. “It’s alright, Sorin.” Cyrus looked too tired, and there was a slight tremor to his hands. The witch looked at Biela calmly. “He’s always a bit anxious. How can I help you?”

Biela folded her arms. “Why are you performing necromancy on my lands?”

“A poorly thought out deal with Amara Claire, made on Sorin’s behalf.” Cyrus slid his hands into his pockets. “I’m a man of my word, and I offered her any spell she wanted. She chose necromancy.”

“A mistake,” she said, unimpressed, “making bargains with Amara Claire."

Cyrus flicked a look back at Sorin, who wanted so badly to go to his side. Instead he watched as Cyrus regarded Biela again. “It’s not a mistake I plan on making a second time. I only did so at the time for Sorin.” He paused, and added dryly, “It’s not like she was particularly helpful on her end of the bargain anyway.”

Biela lifted a brow. “But you’ll make the same mistake a second time anyways, for Cameron Luain, will you not? I’d be more lenient on the idea of it being a mistake if it only happened once, and yet, you’ll be performing the same spell a second time. Soon, if I’m understanding correctly. Why should I let you?”

Cyrus lifted a shoulder. “We all need different forms of closure. And when I summoned Cameron’s ghost, there was something in Cameron’s face. Whoever he is, he’s important. And I wasn’t going to waste bringing Levant back just to watch them all struggle if they need this man too.” He hesitated. “Cameron said Levant was asking for this demon. I’m assuming they met while Levant was dead.”

Biela’s face went very carefully neutral. “You make it sound like I care what that angel wants,” she said, coldly. But then just as quickly waved it off. “But fine. Have your spell. This one spell. But first, you will give me access to this spirit, and to your mind. Otherwise, it’s a no. And I will make sure you recognize the no as what it is.”

“Okay,” Cyrus said, reaching out for Sorin’s hand. Sorin was at his side in a heartbeat, helping Cyrus into his study. With a flick of his wrist, Sorin lit Cyrus’ candles, and then he settled on the floor beside his witch.

It took Cyrus a few minutes, but he managed to pull Darius’ spirit into being with a murmured apology.

Darius looked almost startled when he appeared. But the moment his eyes locked on Biela, a calmness spread across his light brown face. Biela and Darius both shared similar features of someone from the same homeland, even if Biela held herself worlds apart from everyone else.

Darius bowed at the waist deeply, before elegantly righting himself and offering her a small smile. “Your majesty,” he said. “It’s an honor.”

“I’m sure,” Biela said. “I understand you’re wanting to be brought back from the dead. How long have you been dead and why should I care about a resurrection? We all have lost someone, and Cameron shouldn’t get to bring back the dead because he made a mistake.”

Darius seemed to think on that. He didn’t look hurt by her brutal words, and just held her steely gaze steadily. “Cameron’s entire life has been very carefully moulded into a perfect tool for his parents. Would it be so bad to let him have one selfish thing to make up for five hundred years of isolation and depersonification?”

Sorin couldn’t decide who he should look at. Darius was- he was new. Biela was his queen. He didn’t know if he should keep his eyes on her out of respect, or the opposite, for the exact same reason. In the end, he fixed his eyes on Cyrus, who managed a wan smile just for him.

Biela’s face was kept at her perfect icy neutrality. “At the risk of even more dark magic being released into my earth? For one man? Compared to millions of people under my protection? I should kill everyone involved,” she said. “That kind of threat needs to be extinguished.” She slid her eyes to Sorin. “You’re exmilitary. You’ve seen the war and bloodshed, and the slaughter to our people. What do you think should be done?”

Sorin blinked, startled by being addressed. “I think,” he finally said carefully, “That- well-” Lying would get him nowhere, so he swallowed. “I think that necromancy is a dangerous thing. For the spellcaster, and for the people involved. I think most people don’t get the chance to even try, and- I feel like it’s not fair. But- I’m not sure I can give a good answer. I’m not unbiased. And I don’t know what I think, anyway.”

Cyrus looked a little pained. He swiped his thumb over the back of Sorin’s hand sympathetically, and then went still again. Right. Well then.

“You don’t know what you think,” she said. “Typical answer. I don’t know what else I was expecting.” She turned to Cyrus, eying him carefully. “I see you carry the braincell in the relationship. Then again, you were the one to release that bastardized magic. You were the one to taint my lands, and you were the one to decide to play with forces that do not belong to you. Can’t even get your own magic. You’re siphoning a demon to do the spell.”

Cyrus, to his credit, didn’t even blink. “I was,” he agreed. “I took a lot of effort to make sure my steps could not be retraced. Just as Amara took plenty to keep others from finding out Levant died in the first place. I don’t want anyone but me knowing this spell. I don’t think even I want to know this spell when it’s all said and done. It’s too much twisted power, and it’s not fair to other people grieving.”

Biela clicked her manicured nails along her arm. “So you admit that you tainted my lands,” she said. “And what do you think I should do about that? You admit that that was too much power, and too much dark power at that. Why should you get the pardon? Because you’re a witch and Amara tricked you? You’re the victim in all of this, right? Forced to help Amara Claire because of a poorly worded promise.”

“I’m not a victim. I chose what morals I needed to stick to. Releasing dark magic wasn't my intention. And I’ve made no such promise to Cameron Luain. I said I’d try. If you forbid it, that’s that. I tried.” He didn’t flinch when Sorin’s hand tightened on his. “I’m not a demon, but this is your kingdom, and Sorin’s your subject. Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson about Amara Claire.”

“Hm.” Biela turned back to Darius, shifting her inky black hair behind her shoulder. He met her icy gaze steadily. “Cameron murdered you in cold blood,” she said. “Knife in your throat, yes? Just let you bleed out on his pretty carpets and you want to come back from the dead for him?”

“With all due respect,” Darius said, after a moment of thought, “I think we both know there was nothing cold blooded about an animal trapped in a corner doing what it took to survive.”

What a strange way to describe Cameron. Sorin found it hard to believe Cameron had ever been trapped in anything he didn’t have a way to get out of.

“Fair enough,” Biela said, airly. To Cyrus, she said, “I’ll grant it. You do not do it on my lands, and you do not use a single demon or their magic to do so. If you do, I will find out, and you will find your life, and Sorin’s life, forfeit. Do I make myself clear?”

Cyrus had the sense to dip his head respectfully as he murmured, "Understood."

Biela switched her gaze to Sorin. It took him several seconds to realize what she was waiting for. “Of course, Your Majesty,” Sorin said quickly, lowering his gaze.

And then she was gone. Sorin blinked at the space she’d left, the door swinging shut with a gentle click. Only after she was gone did Cyrus let out a very small, tired sigh. Sorin swung around, peering at his mate.

“Sometimes,” Cyrus offered, “I wish I wasn’t a witch.” He squeezed Sorin’s hand, before looking to Darius. “I’m sorry.”

Darius gave a small shrug. “I’m sorry you’re in this position.”

“It’s what I get for being a young witch genius without a coven,” Cyrus replied, not even a little bit of ego to his tone. “I should have known better than to make promises without terms.”

Darius offered him a small smile. “I am afraid that is something we must learn with age, and you are still very young.”

Cyrus considered that. “True,” he admitted. “It still stings to have been dragged into this by someone at least ten years younger than me, though. I should have realized she had ulterior motives.”

---

Lev hadn’t moved from the couch. He’d just pulled his knees up and rested his cheek on them as he stared past Ash and tried not to think at all.

“Just breathe. She’s not going to eat you,” Ash finally said, catching Lev off guard.

He shifted his attention to Ash. “I know,” he said. “She would have already... right?”

“...Sure.”

Comforting. Lev tucked his cheek against his knees again, closing his eyes. “I want Nik,” he finally said in a small voice.

“You could call him, you know,” Ash pointed out. “You have a phone.”

Lev looked down on the phone on the cushion beside him. “Oh,” he said. Right. Nik had to be worried; he hadn’t called him in the hour after Biela had used his phone to talk to Nik. As he found Nik’s contact info, he settled back against the couch, tucking the phone against his face.

Nik picked up immediately. “What the fuck do you want, you phychopath?”

“Nik?” Lev said, his voice getting smaller. He knew Nik wasn’t mad at him, but still.

“Oh. Lev.” Nik paused. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Lev promised. “Are you? You... you’ve been gone for a while.”

Nik was quiet for a little bit. “I’m on my way home. I needed to think.”

Small chill went down Lev’s spine. He understood. “Are you mad at me?” He asked softly. “It’s okay if you are. I just wanna know.”

“I’ll get over it,” Nik eventually replied.

“Okay,” Lev said softly. He chewed on his lip briefly, and then said, “Drive safe?”

“I'll be home soon.”

Lev hesitated. “I’m trying to get my memories back. The months I was... gone.”

“Um. Are you sure you want to do that?”

“They’re my memories. Why shouldn’t I?” Lev flicked Ash a look, and then said, “Everyone’s being weird. I want to know what I missed.”

“Fair enough.” Nik was quiet for a bit longer, and then, “I’m still an hour out. I’d better go.”

“Okay.” Lev tightened his grip on the phone. “I love you.”

“Love you.”

Lev waited until he was sure Nik hung up to put the phone down. Somehow, he didn’t feel any better.

“Why do you think Nik’s mad at you?” Ash asked, snagging Lev’s attention before he could bury himself in his anxiety again.

“I had sex with Cameron after Nik- after he couldn’t sleep with me.” Ash looked pained at Lev’s words. “He- Nik - flinched. So I told him we could wait. And he didn’t like that. But- Cameron offered later, and Nik wasn’t home, and- things have been weird and I wanted normal.”

“I mean no offense, Lev, but you just got brought back from the dead. Normals not in your wheelhouse any time soon.”

Lev winced. “I guess I should have known that,” he replied. “But I want it all the same.”

Maybe Ash would have figured out a response to that, but before he could, Biela appeared in the doorway. Lev slowly sat up, settling criss cross. “Majesty,” Lev said hesitantly, dipping his head as low as he could without risking toppling off the couch.

“Let’s get this over with,” was all she said.

Lev bit back his surprise that she was even going to help, but the next moment he could feel her, holding his mind without even taking a step in the room. He was dragged along with her as she went through his memories. Memories so old it was eerie seeing them again. His mother’s face. His father’s. Their death, and living with his Gramma.

The only time Biela slowed in her precise, unflinching sorting through his memories was when she dug up flashes of times he absolutely hadn’t wanted to see again. And the details. He’d asked for this, but he hadn’t expected to go back so far. He’d purposefully forgotten how bad it’d been, with Remi, with Vehuel, even with Silas, despite Silas’ attempts to shield him. Going back through them was more visceral than he expected; he could feel every touch, hear every word, and it struck him to the core all over again.

He was still reeling when Biela found his more recent memories. He didn’t have time to feel embarrassed about his brief but warm time with Fax, or how quickly he fell for Nik and Cameron after they took him in. How quickly he came to find a home here, in a way he had only begun to feel with Fax.

But it was a new sort of pain to see the months where he had been dead. Watching Nik and Cameron struggle- and what Lev had done.

By the time Biela let go and pulled her thoughts from his, he was crying silently. He touched his cheeks, wiping the tears away with shaky hands. To his surprise, Ash put his hand on Lev’s shoulder. After a few seconds, Lev lifted his gaze to Biela and Cameron in the doorway, only to realize Nik was waiting there as well. How long had-?

“Nik?” Lev finally croaked.

Nik gave him a lopsided smile. “Hey Princess. You doing okay?”

Lev shook his head, and might have gotten up if Ash hadn’t kept his hand on Lev’s shoulder. Thankfully, Nik crossed the room, settling beside him. Lev twisted until he could bury his face in Nik’s shoulder, grabbing at Nik’s shirt as he took several deep breaths. Old memories flickered behind his eyes, but he pushed them back for now.

Only when he was sure he wasn’t going to start crying again did he look up at Biela again. She seemed to have paled, and though she kept her face neutral, she looked tired. “Thank you,” Lev finally managed. “For helping me.” Even if guilt was already eating away at him.

“You’re welcome.” She looked to Cameron. “I want to speak with you.”

They left, and Lev almost started crying again. After he got himself under control, he said to no one in particular, “Can you help me to the kitchen? I- I need to move.”

Nik helped Lev up without saying a word. Ash followed behind, also silent. Diner was done, sitting on the stove ready to be served, and Cameron had even set the table. He stared at everything, breath hitching. His thoughts were still spinning, and he couldn’t quite catch them all. Nothing made sense, except the one phrase that kept echoing in his mind.

It wasn’t fair.

Before he could think about it, he scooped up a bowl and shattered it on the floor. Beside him, Nik flinched, but the sound of it breaking was so satisfying he threw another, just to hear it again. By that point Cameron appeared in the doorway.

Lev looked right at him, and blurted, “It’s not fair. None of this is fucking fair. I didn’t deserve this. Any of it.” Cameron only stared back, face unreadable. “I didn’t ask to be born like this. I didn’t ask for Rem- for- he raped me, for years and I- I didn’t want it. I didn’t deserve- Fax didn’t deserve- and then- Destris-” He was crying again, breath hitching. “I was pregnant. That’s why I left. I was trying to figure out what to do because you don’t want kids, and we already have Eden, and now it’s gone-”

Nik was moving, leaving, and Lev didn’t blame him, not one bit. “But none of that matters, if- what I did while I was dead- I might as well have tried to actually kill him. And that’s not okay. That was my fault. And no one’s done anything about it. No one told me. What I did was unforgivable. To you, to Nik, to Nate. And no one let me face the consequences. You didn’t let me face Remi. You didn’t let me face Vehuel. And maybe I couldn’t, but no one has ever given me the choice.” He wiped his face. “I’ve been trying to be better. They made you a weapon, but they made me a doll and then they got angry when that’s all I knew how to be. But even that doesn’t excuse what I did.”

“You can start facing them now,” Cameron said.

And somehow, that calmed Lev down some. “I can?” he said, caught off guard.

Cameron lifted a brow. That was all the response Lev was going to get, apparently.

Lev looked down at the mess he made. Right. He’d done that. He knelt, reaching for the bigger pieces. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, taking a shuddering breath. “I shouldn't have- I’ll buy you more.”

“Leave it. Nik needs you more than some broken glass.”

Lev stared at the mess. “I- I’ll clean it up later,” he said. Promised.

Cameron gave a slight nod, and so Lev eased to his feet, setting the pieces in his hands on the table. He slipped past Ash, in the doorway, and paused when he saw Biela. Her face was unreadable, but she just said, “Be careful what you wish for.”

Lev had no idea what to say to that, so he just gave a quiet, “Yes ma'am.”

When she didn’t stop him, he moved on, tracking Nik down by scent and a little luck. His mate was curled up under several blankets in Cameron’s bed. Lev crawled up next to him, but left space between them.

“Nik?” he said in a small voice. When he got no answer, Lev settled down, tucking his face in the pillow. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper,” he said. “I’m not angry with you.”

From under the blankets, Lev heard a sniffle.

Lev reached out to touch Nik’s head over the blankets. “I wasn’t- I didn’t mean to tell you like that. I’m- I should have found a better way.”

“Are you going to stay like that?” Nik finally asked from under the blankets.

“Like what?” Lev asked, hesitantly.

Nik was quiet for a long moment. Eventually he said in a voice just as small as Lev’s, “Violent.”

Oh. Guilt rose up, yet again. “No,” he promised. “I’m- I was wrong. I should never have acted like that.” He pulled at the blankets questioningly. “Nik. Can- can I see you?”

Nik slowly poked his head out.

“I’m never going to hit you,” Lev promised. “I won’t. And I won’t- I won’t let myself get angry like that again.”

Nik nodded slowly. Lev reached out, stroking Nik’s cheek. Nik shrank back, just a little, so small Lev almost missed it, but not enough to pull away.

Lev meant to reassure him again, but all that came out was, “I know you’re pregnant. And I want you to know I’m not mad.”

To Lev’s horror, Nik’s face crumpled. Before Lev could do anything else, Nik was crying, hard. Lev scooted closer, crawling under the blankets with Nik without a second thought. “It’s okay,” Lev whispered. “I promise.”

Nik pressed his face in Lev’s neck, still crying. Eventually he said, “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” Lev promised. “It’s okay.” He pressed a kiss to the side of Nik’s head. “I don’t care what happened.”

“Does Cameron know?” Nik whispered.

“Yes,” Lev said honestly. “We were waiting for you to tell us.” He stroked Nik’s hair. “At your own pace.”

Nik stiffened under Lev’s hands. “Is he mad at me?”

“No.” Lev cupped Nik’s face. “Neither of us are. We just want you taken care of.”

Nik nodded against Lev’s neck. “Okay.”

Lev closed his eyes. “Okay,” he repeated softly. He patted Nik’s hair again. “Nik? While we’re on deep and scary subjects, do you wanna talk about the mate with a capital M thing, or...?”

“Not really.”

“We can wait,” Lev promised. They’d avoided it since his heat. He could wait a bit longer.

Tagging:  @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @lil-miss-red @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis @idreamonpaper

[johnshelbysbabygirll]

The princess of the family - SHELBY SISTER

Request: @mrswinchester29

Words: 1640

hello loviees

this is my first Shelby Sister fic and i’m sorry if is anything wrong with it, but i will improve!! and the one who requested it, i hope it is what you wanted and i’m sorry for changing it a little bit, i hope that’s fine. also thank you sm for your request

love you all xx

It's not that late, but as soon as it get dark outside, the streets are empty and at this hour you don't really see women outside on their own. The exception is [Y/N] Shelby; the stubborn little sister of the Peaky Blinders. Of course you know about your family business and that they have a lot of enemies, but you just don't care.  You don't want to be hold back by this; like a beautiful bird in a cage. You want to live.

And despite Tommy's orders, you were alone at shopping all day without anyone knowing about it. You knew that your family, mostly your brothers, will be very mad once you get home and that's why you took your time.

You have bags in both of your hands and you walk down the street, thinking about the dresses you bought and the pairs of earrings you bought for Ada and Polly and for your sisters-in-law. But your happy thoughts are interrupted by some loud noises right behind your back. Turning your head over your shoulders, you can see two massive figure walking in your directions just as fast as you and this make you skeptical, but you keep on walking, trying to ignore them as much as you can. Polly's house is right after the corner. Maybe they are not following you. Maybe it is just in your head, you thought.

But when your turn to the left, a hand grab you by the back of your coat and push you roughly into the wall. You let out a whimper because of the pain you feel in your head and you look right into a man's full of rage eyes. They look older, but you can't really see their faces because of the low lights.

"I hoped to find one of their whores called wives, but find the princess by her own? That's so much more than I hoped."

They both laugh and you try to break free by hitting them, but you have no chance alone. Not when two stronger men are holding you still, your bags at the ground in the mud.

"What the fuck do you want?" You growl at them, getting angry by the way they are just smirking at you.

"Oh, I heard about your big mouth..."

He grabs you with his thumb and pointing finger, holding you tight by your chin and making you shut your eyes for a moment, but you don't wanna show any fear. So you look right into their eyes with a dead expression.

"About the shit you always talk and you never got troubles for it because of your brothers."

"Until now." The other one speaks and your whole body start shaking when a hand touch your leg underneath your dress.

"Let me fuckin go now. My brothers will kill you!" You hate to use their names, but you start to get scared; the look on their faces makes them look insane and you can feel how much they want to hurt you, to destroy you. He grab your ankle so tight that you almost scream, your leg around his waist now and you try to hit him again as they touch your thighs with their dirty hands.

The other one grabs your chin, turning your face to him to kiss your lips. You yell in pure terror and you do the first thing that come into your mind: you spit him right into the face. The next thing you know is a slap you receive on your cheek and then another one and another until you can't feel your face anymore. You don't even realize that you are crying and screaming for help, forgetting about the issues you have with your overprotective family and begging to God that someone will help you now.

They rip your dress over your chest, placing disgusting kisses all over your bare skin and you scream again, but your voice it's covered now by gunshots.

"Let my sister down before I bloody shoot you right between your eyes." Ada says sternly and you cry at the sight of her. You love your sister so much, but you never were so happy to see her like you are in this moment.

She shoot again and they drop you at the ground; bullets in their legs as they quickly run away from you. You remain there with your hands at your mouth, crying and not really believing that this really happened. Ada was over to you in a second, letting you cry at her warm chest while she caresses your hair.

"It's fine, love. I'm here now. We're here with you. Can you walk?"

You didn't understand why she said "we", but then you see Finn running to you with terror all over his face.

"[Y/N] they...?"

"No." Ada answer it for you and you just start crying harder as Finn breathe out in relief. That thought was killing him.

He took you into his arms, you wishing you could just hide yourself completely at his chest. But you can't. You feel his every breathe and heart beat as he walks, almost run in fact, over to Polly's house while Ada tell someone to informs your brothers that you are here now, that they found you at the right time. Everyone was looking for you and now you are glad they did.

"Oh God." You hear Polly's voice as Finn enter the house and he and Michael gentle lay you onto the sofa. "My baby girl." She have tears in her eyes as she wraps her arms around you and you are finally home.

"Who did this to her?" Grace whisper, talking to them while she places some blankets on your shoulders. You were shaking.

"I don't know, but they will be fucking dead by-..."

"Finn, shut your mouth! She don't need this right now." Esme lowered in front you and after giving Finn a glare, she softly speaks to you. "[Y/N], can I look at your wounds? We have to clean them..."

Polly caresses your hair and back all this time, whispering softly words into your ears just like a mother she is for all of you. You nod your head and you take a deep breath; you were suffocating at her chest because of all the tears and you didn't even realized it. But you wanted to stop with all the crying now.

Finn walk out of the room, waiting outside for his brothers, not wanting to look anymore at your sore and bruised face. You wrap up the blanket around you as you stand up a little and you let Esme to clean your face, as Grace and Ada were doing the same with your hands, while talking with you. Polly holds you tight in her arms and Linda run into the kitchen to prepare a tea for you.

"Where's is she?"

"How's she?"

"I'm gonna fuckin hang the ones who did this."

After a few more minutes, your crying stopped and you slowly calmed yourself down, but then your brothers came and you all heard their voices from outside the house. You were almost sleeping in Polly's arms with the girls next to you; no one was talking, but it helped you to know that they are here.

Ada remain with you as everyone walk out; Polly's quickly shushed her nephews who are beyond angry, furious and wanting to kill every person that did this to their little princess.

"You can be Peaky Blinders later when she's not crying her eyes out. She needs you now." Polly  says while looking at them.

"She needs all of us." Linda says and everyone agrees with her as they slowly walk back into the living room.

John close his eyes and sigh at the sight of his little sister, bruised and with bloodshot eyes; the same eyes all of you have and the eyes he hates to see in this way. Tommy feel like his stone heart is melting when he take a sit next to you, Arthur raising you into his lap while John is in your left with Finn. Everyone else is also there on the chairs, letting you all having a moment. Surrounded by the ones you love and love you, you smile a little, trying to forget that hell you've been through.

"You understand now why we are so protective with you." Tommy softly says and grabs your hand in his, kissing it after. Grace shouts him a glare, not wanting this to become a fight and make you feel worse, but you nod and whisper, talking for the first time since Ada and Finn found you with a raspy voice you don't usually have.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I was such a pain in your asses."

"And ya still are." John is smirking at you and you let your head on his shoulder.

"But we don't mind." Arthur softly kiss your cheek and you close your eyes, feeling how thankful you really are for having them in your life.

"And I hope you know we gonna cut to death the bastards that did that to our princess." Tommy says and you smile again, but he was serious, no joking in his voice nor his face. John, Arthur and Finn nod immediately.

"That did what to me?"

You're raise your eyebrows, trying to joke and everyone let out a chuckle. Your body is in pain, but you can't say anything or even think about that when your whole family is here with you now.

"I love you so much. All of you."

Later that night, you are peacefully sleeping on the couch with Tommy, Arthur and John by your side and no one dares to wake you up. Polly places some blankets over you and walk the stairs up to her bedroom, still watching you with a smile on her lips, knowing that your mother will be so happy and proud to see you now.

[simsadventures]

Morning Madness

Summary: You’re pregnant with Dean’s baby, and the hormones are getting to you. And both Sam and Dean need to deal with it accordingly.

Warnings: pure fluff, pregnant reader, fluffy and protective Dean, morning sickness, hormonal reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x pregnant!Reader

Word Count: 1672 A/N: This short piece was written for my lovely @holylulusworld​ and her followers celebration #lulus4kwritingchallenge, with the prompt being 4. Fix this or I will break your face (the prompt is in bold in the text). I haven’t written Dean for a long time, and this really got me excited. Let me guys know what you think :) xx

Dean Masterlist __ Masterlist

The smell. It was making you shiver all over your body. You honestly couldn’t decide if it was making you nauseous, or if the need to throw up was now something constant in your life, despite what you smelled.

That didn’t change anything on the fact that someone was currently frying eggs, even if you specifically asked them not to until your morning sickness subsides. Just the thought of those eggs scrabbled on the pan sent you flying towards the bathroom, where you spent good 10 minutes trying to calm your stomach down. With no avail. The smell was now embedded in your nose, and every time you took a breath, you could smell.

You would even bet the whole bunker now smelt like those freaking eggs, and despite feeling like complete shit, you were starting to be pissed too. Was it so hard not to eat eggs for two freaking weeks? Were you asking that much? Your blood was boiling while you stood up, checked yourself in a mirror quickly, and strolling towards the kitchen.

Whichever brother was having that breakfast would wish he never woke up that morning. You would make sure of it. And if it was Dean… phew, he would be in it deep. Every morning for the past two weeks, while trying to get to the bathroom in time, you cursed Dean and his great idea to have a child together. It will be fun, he said, we’re gonna be complete and so happy, he said. Bullshit.

When you first found out you were pregnant, you were both over the moon. You couldn’t stop smiling, and Sam joined you in the enthusiasm. He knew how much you two wanted it, and he couldn’t wait to be an uncle. Those were a few very happy, very calm days. Those were, however, long gone, and they were replaced by your mood swings and usual mornings spent bent over a toilet.

Dean tried to calm your stomach few times, but you always swatted his hand away, telling him this was all his fault, that if he kept his member in his pants, you wouldn’t have to feel like a complete shit now. He knew you didn’t mean it that seriously, but didn’t want to try his luck, so he always just kissed the top of your head, and left you to it.

So every single morning, Dean tried to do pretty much anything to get out of your way. He knew you’d calm down eventually, and that he’d be able to touch around 10 or 11 AM, but right after you woke, that was a big no-no.

And just the thought of him trying to piss you off by frying freaking eggs, sent you raging to the kitchen. To your utter surprise, it wasn’t your husband singing silently, and obliviously making himself a breakfast for champions.

“Are you fucking serious?” You yelled a little louder than you intended. Sam obviously dint hear you coming, because he jumped up, gasped so loud you’d actually laugh if you weren’t so damn sick and pissed, and he turned around, confused look all over his face.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N, you scared the life out of me!” He was holding his chest and still breathing a little too heavily. He smiled up at you, but when he saw the daggers in your eyes, his smile faltered. In that exact moment, Dean walked into the kitchen. He stopped dead in his tracks, seeing your pissed of expression, trying to determine what happened this time. When he took a whiff of the air, all questions were answered in his head, and he smirked. He wasn’t the one in the wrong this time, and he was sure as hell about to enjoy it.

You shot Dean a glare just for him so that he wouldn’t think he was out of the woods, just because you were currently angry at Sam. He was still the one to impregnate you, so this whole thing was his fault in your mind.

“Have you lost your goddamn mind, Samuel?” He was still staring at you as if he didn’t know what he did.

“I’m sorry?” He said meekly, offering you a shy smile, still very much unsure why you were so pissed at him. But it didn’t matter, he would apologise and wait for you to cool down. Both he and his brother realised that this was the only way to survive the morning madness.

“Why are you doing this to me, Sam? Do you hate me, or something? I mean I just can’t wrap my head around this.” By the time you finished the questions, you were sniffling, and tears were streaming down your cheeks. Damn these hormones, you thought.

“I honestly have no idea what I did, but whatever it was-“ you cut him off. “You’re making yourself these fucking eggs, even though I specifically told you both how sick they made me feel, even if I only smelt them. I almost hurled in my bed this morning because of you.”

The realisation dawned on him, and he made those famous puppy eyes on you, so you would forgive him. “I am so sorry, Y/N. I totally forgot about that, and when I saw the eggs here this morning, I just… I didn’t think, and I’m truly sorry.”

You were still crying and just dismissed Sam, turned around, and all but ran towards your and Dean’s shared room. You knew you were being ridiculous, but you couldn’t help yourself.

The second Sam heard the door click shut, he huffed. “Man, I really didn’t mean to make her angry, I just… I craved eggs, and I forgot, damn.”

Dean was no longer smirking, he hated seeing you hurt, no matter if it was because a werewolf left a claw in your upper arm, or because Sam made himself breakfast. He was there to protect you no matter what.

“She wanted just one thing from us, man, and you can’t keep even that in mind. Aren’t you supposed to be the smarter one of the two of us? Just go, Sam. Fix this or I’ll break your face.”

Sam looked at him, quizzically. “You wanna break my face because your pregnant and hormonal wife is crying?”

Dean was now standing, puffing his chest at Sam. “She might be emotional, but you still made her cry, so go and do something about it, I’m not gonna clean up your mess. Go and apologise Mr Forgetful.”

“Ugh, fine, I’m going, calm down, I can’t deal with both of you being emotional.”

Dean just rolled his eyes and watched Sam leave the kitchen. He knew he’d have to go in, no matter if Sam apologised or not. These hormonal scenes always tired the hell out of you, and you always found comfort in Dean’s arms after them.

Sam knocked softly on your door. You opened them, still crying a little, and he smiled down at you. You were like a little sister to him, and he hated to see you cry, even more, when it was about something he said or did. “Listen, Y/N-“ he truly wanted to apologise, but you didn’t let him.

“No, Sam, I’m sorry. I was overreacting and yelled at you for an idiotic thing! I didn’t mean to, so, I’m sorry.”

Your lower lip trembled again, and a sob ripped through you. “Don’t, Y/N. You’re growing a person in you, you have every right to be emotional and angry, sweetheart. I’m an ass and should remember the one thing you asked of us. It won’t happen again, I promise.”  

He hugged you tightly, and you sobbed into his chest. But your body wouldn’t calm down, because this was the wrong brother. You needed Dean, and you needed him now. You looked up to Sam, who just nodded knowingly, kissed the top of your head, and went to fetch Dean.

He didn’t even say anything, because the second he walked into the kitchen, Dean stood up, patted Sam’s shoulder and rushed towards your room. The sight inside made his heart clench a bit. You were sitting on a bed, your knees under your chin, and you were quietly sobbing.

The moment you saw him, you made a gesture of grabby hands towards him, and he smiled a little. Even full of hormones, your first reaction was to have him by your side, and his heart swelled suddenly. He loved you too much for his own good because he’d do anything you asked, especially at that very moment.

“What do you need, baby girl?” he asked softly, as he neared the bed to tug you in his arms.

“Can you just sit with me here, for a second?” you whispered when you were comfortably seated on Dean’s lap. He kissed your forehead, and you hummed, appreciating the closeness between the two of you.

“I’m a hormonal mess, Dean. Can you love someone like that, screaming at your brother basically for being hungry?”

He laughed a little and kissed you again. “I love you even more for screaming at Sam, baby. And you’re no mess. Nobody gets to talk about my wife like that, not even my wife.”

When you looked up, you could see Dean already staring back at you. And the way his emerald eyes looked you, made all the worries, all the anger and sadness wash away. The love and adoration were written all over his face, and you suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. It took him by surprise, but when he realised what was happening, his arms tightened around your waist, and he kissed you back. You smiled into the kiss, feeling sated and happy for the moment.

Your mornings were mad these days, but one thing you could count on was Dean’s undying love for you, and you knew he’d make the best father for your unborn child. And the fear and nervousness of your upcoming motherhood were washed away. At least till the next morning.

Forever Tag:

@eileenalone​

[vangoddamn]

Every other emotion

Promt: could you write maybe something where van and the reader are competetive, alomost like they hate each other but they’re too stubborn to admit themselves that they have feelings for ech other? 

Warning: Swearing, kinda fluffy at the end, minor sexual abuse

A/N: Hope this is ok, quite like the ending, thanks for the suggestion! Love Em xx

“Van! Turn your fucking music down I’m tryin to do some work in here!” I yelled over the top of his shit ‘the streets’ album. I had one of my final papers to hand in soon and I was stessed to say the least. Bondy had said Van could crash at ours for a coupla weeks for some interviews they had and I was fuming. Van had always, as soon as Johnny joined his band, made it his life’s mission to ruin mine. I couldn’t stand him and more than a week with him meant alot of mental breakdowns and my temper to shoot through the roof.

“Chill, love” He said, whilst rolling his eyes and turned it down by a notch “Thought this was ya fave track?” The smirk on his face with his sarcasm made me want to slap it right off, but for Bondy’s sake I sighed deeply and went back to writing.

I was always quite content on my own, never really having a big group of friends. It was always me, Becks, Bondy and Lou. Then things changed, I went to uni with Becks, Lou travelled the world and Johnny joined Catfish. The start of the end of my world! 

I finally got into the zone again and submitted the last of all my assignments, meaning the end of Uni! Bondy had decided we should go out at the end of the week and I was buzzing for it. Until then I had to cope with being stuck in a flat with Van.

I shuffled into the kitchen feeling a little restless and bored to see all the lids over playing fifa. I made my way over to the end of the sofa where Bondy was sat with his controller and sat on the side. He was playing against Larry and majorly loosing.

“aaawww Bonds, look give it ere” I said whilst he gave up handing me the controller. I was a boss at Fifa, always playing against my younger brother when he came over.

“Nah, that’s not fair!” Larry winged, knowing my skills. But Van being the cocky bastard he was, stood up saying he’d challenge me anyday.

“Go on then” I egged him on wanting to see his face when he inevatably lost. He swanned over to the controller Larry held out to him.

The game started strong on my side and it was clear I was winning. By the look on Vans face he was suprised until he started to get back on it. I was three, two to me but he’d just scored making me a little tense by our sudden evens. I grit my teeth until the game ended and we drew. That was even worse than losing I thought to myself. The look on his face was not what I had anticipated and I was to say the least a little pissed off. I didn’t know why but I always got that little bit more riled up him. He did something to make me tick and blood boil.

“Sorry y/n, maybe next time” he beamed clearly pleased with himself knowing he’d got the better of me.

------------

It was Friday finally and me and Becks were getting ready in our finery. I’d decided to go with a simple black number with a pair of heels to match. Becks had always been prettier than me and her long blond flowing hair made people stare at her through the streets. She wore a short red dress with a corset type lace back, extravigant to match her personality.

It didn’t take long for me to get ready with minimal make up so we all headed off to town. The clubs were raging and I made my way to the bar asking for shots. Unfortunately Van got there before me and it wasn’t long before we were teasting each other with our alcahol tolerance. Shot by shot we had pretty much gone through every spirit you could imagine, although throughout not one of us backed down. Instead we just stared harder into each others eyes. I think it must’ve been the alcahol but I was finding things in Vans eyes I’d never seen before. The pool of blue, with hint of green and brown swirled into it transfixed me and for a moment I spaced out until he nudged me saying he won and I was weak. 

There he went again, making me hate him with his arrogance and know it all demeanor. I stumbled to the dance floor finding Benji and Becks dancing togethr. I liked them two and always thought they’d be good together. Bondy found me soon after asking if I wanted a smoke, I accepted his proposal and he led me outside arms linked around my body.

“I saw you with, Van earlier, you got the hots for him” he chuckled to himself trying to tease me knowing full well it would work.

“Ew!” I pulled away from him, screwing my face up in discust at the thought of that cocky boy. “Bonds what the hell?”

“Don’t think I didn’t see your little stare, I’ve seen that look from both of ya before and come on you’ve been flirting with him for years like”

“Bonds, let’s get this straight! I detest Van and will for the rest of my life, I’d rather die than talk to him for more than ten minutes!” I slurred mixing some of the words up on the way.

“y/n, You were drinking with him at the bar for over an hour and I bet ya my whole life savings your just doin what ya always do to lads.” He stated plainly, slightly startling me as if he were pointing out the obvious. He was right though, I’d always had tendencies to push people away but my drunk mide didn’t register that.

“Nah, Bonds your waaaay wrong” I sighed whilst letting out a huff of smoke. as I did Van came wondering out with some girl wrapped round him like some kind of pet. I physically wretched from the sight or maybe it was the alcahol but soon after I felt my blood begin to boil and rushed into the club again making it my mission to find someone.

It didn’t take too long as it was late and most guys were drunk an gagging for it. The guy I’d found looked like an idiot, someone I’d never go for and would probably leave once he got what he wnated. Perfect.

I grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a messy kiss, dragging him outside. I never was the type to really do this but somehow I was feeling different. I saw Becks give me a funny look but I carried on. It wasn’t long until we were outside ,where Van and his ‘pet’ once were, and random kissing guy with too much tongue started to go for more. 

Suddenly I didn’t really want to do this and maybe this was all because of Van. I tried to resist him and tell him to sstop but he wasn’t, forcefully he jammed his knee between my thighs and ground me into the wall. I tride to scream out but nothing was to be heard. I kind of blanked out for a second until I felt the man being pulled away from me and I heard shouting.

I tried to tune in quickly realising that the random guy was being pushed to the ground and punched by none other than Van. The guy ran off as Van came too check if I was ok. I was so confused, if he hated me so much why do something like that for me?

“Shit y/n, are you ok? Did he hurt you?” Van fussed over me and checked for any sign of damage to my body. Again in my drunk state of mind I got lost inhis eyes, Drowning in the deep pools of blue. I clearly worried him not answering and he brushed his thumb down my cheek.

He decided he’d take me home slinging my arm round his shoulder as he held my weight. I suddenly felt a feeling of dissapointment in him and myself. Maybe Bondy ws right, maybe I did like him, maybe he liked me. Feelings were never my thing and as I sorted through everything about van in my head I subconsciously made a pro con list. I didn’t quite know why, since I met him I only felt pure hatrid towards him and the feeling was always mutual. It was almost a safety blanket to hae each other. But as soon as I saw him with another girl that blanket got stollen away from me, and I wanted it back.

“Van...” I started

“y/n....”

“where’d that girl go?”

“Oh .....Umm she left.” He hesitated slightly and I wondered why. The thinking made me stop and I became confused. “Come on idiot, you’ll freeze to death if you stand there all night” He mocked trying to get back to our old habits.

“Yeah ok...” I hung my arm round his shoulder again and he put his jacket round me. 

Once we got to the door of the apatement I couldn’t help but feel different. I knew I was drunk but something had changed and I couldn’t work out what. I stumbled to my room as Van dissapeared into Lous old one. I changed into some comfier clothes and tried to get dome sleep but it was useless. The thoughts in my mind killing me. I was usually so stubborn and I knew what I wanted but tonigt I didn’t and it scared me.

I got up not really knowing what I was doing and whent to my door to find someone was already there, thinking the same as me. And no sooner did I open that door was I met with a pair of lips colliding with mine. For a moment I forgot who I was and kissed back. It felt natural as his tongue rolled against mine. But suddenly reality hit and I pulled away confused, shocked and every other emotion.

He smiled back at me shyly and I realised, I was an idiot. I leant back into his lips feeling confused but safe at the same time. Nothing as I knew it would be the same and I’d probably owe Bondy alot of money.

[ohtheseboysilove]

Wandering souls I [ Roger Taylor x F!Reader ]

Words : 3, 000 K +

Warnings : language, angst, broken heart, roger’s being a dick,

Summary : Soulmate!AU. Reader and Roger are soulmates. Reader is happy to finally find her other half. Roger don’t believe in these bullshits and don’t accepted her . But they quickly understand that they have no choice but to be around each other. . How reader is suppose to be happy with someone who don’t want anything to do with her ?

Note : Bruuuh the first chapter is finally here, hope you like it !! Roger is being a little bitch but we still love him :))) Tell me what you think babes !!!

☀ Masterlist ☀

@/ none of these gifs are mine xx

It had been ten months since your...hurtful encounter with your lovely soulmate Roger Taylor. You learnt more about him through the multiple magazines which were talking about him and his band Queen, quite recent but they were becoming more famous every days and they were currently at the end of their European tour. Since that day, things went down for you, apparently the universe didn’t like that absolutely nothing else happened between the two of you. And as a...punishment maybe ? You weren’t well. Exhausted all the time, pale as a dead body, heavy sadness on your shoulders, it was really awful to live like that. It was like you were sick, you were never hungry, resulting with you losing too much weight, every things that before made you happy seemed dull. The doctor said physically you were fine, not mysterious sickness, the only other option he thought about what your soulmate story. The pain that the rejection caused you was stuck in your mind and had been reflected on your health. You felt incredibly stupid to react like this about a man you saw for only a minute, soulmate or not, it was ridiculous. You didn’t ask for any of this, he decided to reject you, he should be the one suffering about it, not you. You did some research in the library and found it that, indeed, your health state wasn’t very uncommon. When soulmates were staying away from each other for a prolonged period of time, your mind and body could react badly. In your case, very badly. Probably due to rejection too. The book you were reading was more a compilation of testimony from soulmates rather than an actual guide, but you wouldn’t probably find better. All the soulmates were saying practically the same : the more time you spent with your soulmate, the better you felt. Romantic relationships over friendly one were much efficient. The last pages of the books were filled with deceased soulmates from broken heart. Yes, you could actually die from a heartbroken. It was different for each person, could take years or decade but it was a possibility. The link between two soulmates were incredibly powerful in good and bad ways. That shit was way scarier than you thought.

You quickly found out that Roger was in the same condition as you as Queen had to reschedule the departure to their tour in America due to a stomach bug touching their drummer. You were almost sure that this was pure bullshit, he was suffering as much as you from the distance and time apart. The tattoo on your wrist was now deep black and throbbing painfully most of the time, a constant remainder of your broken heart.

**

“Yes ?” You answered the phone with a weak voice, today was a very bad day for you, coughing and shaking most of the morning. Thanks to Roger Taylor.

“(Y/N), darling, it’s Freddie. I’m Roger’s friend, do you remember me ?”

“I do Freddie” You replied after clearing your throat, keeping your fingers pressed against the wet clothe on your forehead as you were trying to cool down your fever.

“Great ! How have been these days ?” A heavy cough escaped your mouth before you could answer properly. “I see, you’re not feeling well, right ?”

“Not really, no. I’m like this for months now, it’s not going better” You knew he was calling for Roger’s condition, they probably figured out that both of you were the remedy against each other’s poor states. “I guess your friend is in the same condition as me ?”

“Sadly, yes. I told this little wanker to not mess with soulmates but he won’t listen. He is sick as a dog and we already had to cancel few of our shows in Europe because some day he don’t have enough energy to play” Freddie explained with an annoyed voice. “I really think you should see each other darling, he still don’t believe all of this it’s his fault but all the doctors we saw said the same thing, too much time apart between soulmates can be very dangerous”

You didn’t want to see him, the shame and humiliation you felt that day were still deep rooted into your frame but your soul was like magnetized by this man, craving for any desperate contact. That was unfair but you didn’t really had any other choice.

“I think that too Freddie. When are you coming back in London ?”

“Tomorrow and we are leaving for the rest of our world tour, three days later, for at least seven months, maybe more darling” A sharp pang echoed through your chest, stopping you from breathing during few seconds. You couldn’t keep living like that, the constant pain was more unbearable each day. “You’re alright (Y/N) ?”

“I...I’m okay” Your lungs were burning at each breaths. “You need to come back here, it’s– shit, it’s too painful”

“We can’t darling, our manager and all the peoples who put money in our tour won’t allow us. You need to join us, please” His voice sounded more worried than before. “Stay with us until the end of our tour, everything would be paid, the ticket plane, the food, the hotel, we really need you around to help Roger. Please, we can’t perform without our drummer”

You sighed quietly and took a seat on the kitchen stool, your legs becoming too weak to carry you much longer.

“Freddie, I don’t know...”

“(Y/N), I know you have a life here and I’m sorry to ask you that but we don’t have any choice. It’s been two rough months for us and for you too I’m sure–“

“Two months ? Are you saying he had been sick only for the past two months ?” You weakly wiped the sweat sticking on your neck, your body couldn’t decide if you were too hot or too cold, moving from a state to another. “I’m sick since the day he rejected me Freddie ! My life had become a nightmare because of him. I lost my job because some day I can’t even go out of my bed, I fainted more time than I can actually remember, I feel like I’m dying Freddie, each day worst than the other. And now you telling me, he was fine during the first eight months ? That’s fucking unfair !”

Your little outburst made your head dizzy, draining more energy than your body could provided to you at the moment. You slowly rested your head on the bar, taking deep breaths to calm your distraught heartbeat.

“I...I’m sorry to hear that (Y/N), we didn’t know...”

“It’s not your fault, I’m sorry. It’s not Roger’s either, I understand he don’t want a complete stranger in his life, he is a famous rock star, he can have anyone” You whispered through the phone, the soreness in your frame pulsating roughly. You were mad at the drummer because of your state but you also understood, he didn’t want to change is life because of your meeting, it wanted to make his own choice, you couldn’t blame it for that. “I will come to your tour. I don’t have anything else to do here anyway”

“Oh my god, thank you so much !” He screamed happily and your could hear some muffled voices around him. “She said yes, go and tell Paul that she just save our band. Sorry darling, Brian and John are really relieved, thanks to you ! Would like to stay in Roger and Brian’s flat during the few days we are in London ? Would it help you to feel better ?”

“Oh...I don’t want to bother them...”

“Nonsense my dear, Brian would be delight to have anything that could relieve Roger from his grumpy mood, and both of you would feel better”

You murmured an unsure okay and noted the address that Freddie gave you before hanging up.

What the hell did you agreed to ?

**

At eight p.m the next day you were in a taxi driving toward Roger and Brian’s flat. One of your friends had help you doing your luggage as you were absolutely useless, completely exhausted by anything and you couldn’t wait to go back to the normal you.

You pressed the buzzer to their flat and Brian answered, opening the door but when you he told you they were at the fourth floor without lift, you could have cry. But you were to shy and embarrassed to ask for help, so you started literally dragging your suitcase through the stairs, every movements sending harsh pang to your fragile muscles. You hated so much your weak state, you were fucking ridiculous.

“(Y/N), are you here ?” You heard Brian’s voice travelling into the stairwell after ten minutes and two floors of struggling.

“I...I’m coming. My suitcase is a bit heavy and I’m– fuck, not at my best these days” You yelled back as you took a break before the third floor, your heartbeat going crazy in your chest.

The sound of steps made your raise you head to find Brian, smiling at you.

“Let me help–“ His smile fell when he came closer, a worried look on his features. “Oh. Freddie said you weren’t well because of Roger but...this is worst than I thought. I’m terribly sorry”

“It’s not your fault Brian” You answered weakly, keeping your head down to avoid his gaze. He took the suitcase and you grabbed the bannister to climb the last floors.

“Sorry for the mess” He opened the door for you and let you in, typical boys’ flat with clothes and abandoned beer bottles everywhere. “I can give you my room for the two days, you really need to rest I think” He observed you like if he you were about to pass out at every moment. It was, sadly, a possibility.

“No, no, no Brian. I’m not kicking you out of your own room, I’m fine with the sofa”

“I don’t want her here !” You both turned your heads to the kitchen where Roger was probably speaking with someone on the phone. “Jesus, do you even listen to me when I talk ? She has nothing to do with my...state.” You stared at your nails, feeling uncomfortable to invade his privacy like this. “I don’t fucking care about what the doctor said ! He is a stupid wanker, he can’t do his job properly, I don’t trust him”

“Sorry for Rog, he is an asshole right now because he don’t like being sick, you know ? Don’t pay to much attention to what he say” Brian scratched the back of his neck, visibly awkward. “Roger, (Y/N) is here !”

You could feel your breathing increased as he appeared at the living-room’s door, still as beautiful than the last time you saw him. When you locked eyes with him, it was like someone took off the weight of your shoulders which was compressing you, letting you finally breathed freely. The tingling on your skin came back, electricity rolling through your veins and you felt a bit better. But the need to touch him was way more insistent than the first time.

“Hi Roger” You gave a timid smile, he was intimidating as he pushed his sunglasses on his nose and wore an irritable expression on his face.

“(Y/N)” His jaw was roughly clenched and his voice cold.

He barely looked at you but when he did, a small whine crossed his features. You didn’t look really good right now and you felt even more embarrassed in front of his deep blue eyes. He was incredibly pretty and you...well you weren’t at your best. Your cheeks were dug and your frame in general was thinner than usual, looking like a fragile little thing. You were pale as a ghost, your blue veins were visible particularly on your hands and arms, large and dark bags under your eyes due to your constantly lack of energy. He clearly wasn’t affected as you but he did look tired and a bit pale. You wondered if he felt the same electric currant through his body or if it was only you.

After an awkward silence between the three of you, Brian’s gaze travelling between yours and Roger’s face, you decided to speak, hoping to relax a bit the tense atmosphere :

"Sorry for my presence here, I know you don’t want me here but—"

"You’re right, I don’t want you here but I don’t any choice apparently" The blond glanced angrily at the guitarist. "Stay around and pretend I don’t exist, especially during our tour and I will do the same" His tone was harsh and his gaze even rougher. You nodded silently as he left the flat in a hurry, the familiar sadness coming back as soon as you processed his words. A big lump was obstructing your throat as you quietly sat on the sofa, feeling suddenly cold. You knew he didn’t like this whole soulmates thing but it wasn’t your fault, he could at least be polite toward you. But he only rejected you even more, making your shoulders slumbered, your self-love at the lowest level possible. Were you so ugly or annoying for him to look at you with so much coldness ? You thought you were lucky to have such a gorgeous soulmate but he was probably thinking the exact contrary, stuck with you seemed to be an awful thing for him. 

"I’m sorry (Y/N)—" "Brian please, stop apologising for something you’re not responsible" You lay down on the sofa, kicking your shoes off and watching blankly the black t.v screen, wondering again why did you do wrong to piss off the drummer like that. "Alright, I will bring you some blankets for the night, do you need anything else ? Something for the pain maybe ?" You looked curiously at him. "I’m a very observant guys, it’s easy to see that you’re in pain (Y/N)" He gave you a sad smile. "Thank you but unfortunately medications are completely useless for my pain, there only one way to heal a soul" You shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal to you but inside you just wanted to cry.  "Roger" You nodded timidly before coughing. "He will come around (Y/N), I swear. He need you too, he can’t ignore you forever and I know he is in pain too. He’s such an idiot"  "I hope so. You know...just seeing him made me feel better. It’s really strange to depend from someone so much" You chewed absent-mindedly your lips, trying to remember the control you had over your emotions before you met him, it felt so...long ago. You yawned uncontrollably and rubbed your heavy eyes, tiredness washing over you.

“I’m gonna let you sleep (Y/N). There some leftover pizza in the kitchen, if you want” You nodded and thanked him, putting the blanket next to you. “I’m gonna sleep, touring killed me, I need to rest. Goodnight”

“Goodnight Brian”

**

The next two days were rather awkward. Roger didn’t say a word to you, totally ignoring you. It was hurtful but you did feel a tad better, less tired and your appetite was coming back slowly, at least one thing positive in your life. You spent your days cleaning their messy flat, cooking and doing some laundry, trying to make yourself useful at least, nothing more to do as you were just waiting to leave for north America, first stop of the band.

But the last night before the departure something happened. Something that, sadly, you happened again and again. It was past midnight and you couldn’t sleep like usual, your mind wondering about how you could make the situation better between you and Roger. You wouldn’t support the silent treatment for seven months. You were chewing a cold piece of pizza when the front door of the flat opened, Roger’s voice whispering something.

“Hey, hey shush love. My roommate is sleeping” You turned your head, the pizza in your hand as you were sitting criss-cross on the sofa watching your soulmate bringing a girl in the apartment. “Need to me quiet for me, can you do that ?”

The redhead girl giggled quietly, her arms loosely hanging around his neck as she pressed small kisses on his neck. He was trying to walk through the flat without lost contact with her, his large palms kneading shamelessly her ass. They hurt a wall and giggled like two teenagers before starting a heavy making-out session, few metres away from you. The noises of kissing and sucking made you sick in your stomach, you couldn’t stop few tears to escape from your eyes. You didn’t want to cry for him, he wasn’t doing anything wrong but it was still annoyingly painful to witness, burning your skin. A crushing sensation of discomfort was growing into your chest and a gasp of pain flew through your lips. Roger immediately stopped the kiss and raised his head, his lustful eyes falling on your aching features, he used his sleeve to wipe away the smudged lipstick on his mouth. You noticed his Adam’s apple bobbing heavily, a grimace appearing on his face but disappeared right after, giving his usual glacial gaze.

“Roger, I want you” The girl didn’t even notice you, her head buried onto his neck as one of her hand was wandering under his shirt.

You looked away when she started nibbling against his throat, it was none of your business. You lay back and hid your face under the blanket, muffling your pathetic sniffles as the door of Roger’s room opened then closed, both of them moaning quietly. Thankfully you couldn’t hear them from the sofa but you didn’t sleep during that night.

Maybe it wasn’t a such good idea to follow him in tour.

**

Taglist : @vanitysfairr @kenyadakblalock @a-kind-of-magik @a19103 @stormtrprinstilettos @loveandbeloved29 @ixchel-9275 @polarcrystall

[crossbowking]

That’s My Girl (Part 2)

(Click HERE to read That’s My Girl Part 1)

Requested By: @justrepostandlove

Summary: While scavenging for supplies in preparation for war against The Governor, Glenn, Daryl, and Y/N run into some bad people with even worse intentions.

A/N: I have a lot of thoughts to share about this story, but I’ll wait until the end. Thank you eternally.

xx crossbowking

Previously...

Daryl heard movement before he saw it — he heard a soft grunt…he heard the slight scraping of metal…he heard the squeak of a boot being dragged across the tile…

But by the time Daryl spun around, he was too late.

All he could do was watch in horror as Billy launched his blood-soaked body at Y/N, knocking her backward onto the ground before he raised his arm and plunged her missing knife into the soft flesh of her thigh.

Now...

Daryl didn’t think.

He felt the logical side of himself shut down and pure animal instinct take over as he aimed his crossbow at Billy’s head and pulled the trigger without a second thought. He felt no sympathy as his bolt lodged itself into the center of the man’s forehead. He felt no remorse as he fell, slack-jawed and wide-eyed onto the ground.

All he could focus on was the sudden gut-wrenching screams coming from Y/N.

Daryl threw his crossbow down and dropped beside Y/N, her face crumpled in agony as her shaking hands hovered over the center of her thigh, where the hilt of her blade was still sticking out. He pushed away any feelings of rage or fear, shut down any hints of weakness or panic and forced himself to remain calm.

Glenn appeared on the other side of Y/N a moment later, his face pale and taut as he surveyed the damage done to her leg.

“What’d we do?” Daryl snapped, speaking to Glenn but unable to take his eyes away from the blood spilling from Y/N’s open flesh.

“I-I…I don’t — I don’t think —” Glenn fumbled for the right words, racking his brain for an answer he couldn’t provide.

“Hey!” Daryl barked, his gaze locking with Glenn’s. “What the hell do we do? Hershel’s gotta’ve taught ya somethin’ useful!”

“I don’t know, man!” Glenn fired back, running a hand over his face. “We need to stop the bleeding — we need to get her back to Hershel.”

“D-Daryl,” Y/N grimaced, her entire body going rigid. “Take it out. P-Please, God, take the knife out!” she cried, squeezing her eyes shut as the remaining color in her face slipped away.

Daryl immediately reached for the knife, desperate to stop Y/N from being in any more pain, but Glenn grabbed his wrist just before he could wrap his fingers around the handle. He opened his mouth to protest, but Glenn quickly interjected. “We can’t,” he hissed under his breath.

“Why the hell not?” Daryl demanded, ripping his hand from Glenn’s.

“Look where the knife is, man,” he urged, taking a second to inspect the injury himself. “I don’t know much, but there’s a major artery right where that knife is. If we take the knife out and that artery’s been severed…” Glenn paused, his haunted eyes raising to meet Daryl’s. “She’ll bleed out before we make it home.”

Daryl felt the blood drain from his face, Y/N’s wounded cries mirroring his own internal anguish. How could he have let this happen? How had he not realized that Billy was still alive? Why hadn’t he intervened sooner? He’d had a gut feeling that something horrible was going to happen and it did. And now Y/N was paying the price.

This was his fault.

Y/N’s stark red blood stood out against the white tile floor, the puddle forming beneath her thigh growing with each moment that passed. Her cries had turned into soft whimpers, her body shaking violently every few seconds, her eyes squeezed shut, face contorted as she tried to breathe through the agony.

Daryl had never felt so helpless in his entire life. It felt as though someone had reached inside his chest and grabbed his heart, squeezing it in the palm of their hand until it disintegrated into nothingness. He couldn’t look at the red liquid inching towards him, couldn’t look at Y/N’s tormented expression, couldn’t look at the hilt of her knife still sticking out of her thigh.

So instead, he closed his eyes.

Time stood still for a moment — the blood pounding in Daryl’s ears imitating the steady thumping of a drum, his gut churning to the beat of Y/N’s quieted sobs, the overwhelming scent of blood — bitter like iron — wafting up his nostrils. It was almost too much for him to bear and he began to feel as though the store’s walls were closing in on him, threatening to crush him and the only thing left in this world that he truly loved…the only thing he truly loved?

The sudden notion caught Daryl off guard.

Was that what this feeling was called? Love? The thought had come so naturally — the stabbing reality that he might be on the cusp of losing the person he loved. Was that what it meant? The innate need to protect. The deep-seated desire to hold. The inherent demand to soothe. Daryl wasn’t sure he’d ever loved anything before, so why her? Why now? Why was the woman he loved bleeding out in front of him on the floor of a dirty marketplace? That didn’t seem right. None of this seemed right.

Time regained momentum when Daryl felt a shaking hand wrap around his own. His eyes shot open, locking with Y/N’s teary, fearful gaze as she squeezed his hand a little tighter.

And Daryl knew right then and there, in that very moment, that there was no way in hell he was about to let Y/N slip through his fingers.

Daryl didn’t think.

He shot up to his feet, ignoring the way his hands trembled as he undid the clasp of his belt and slid it off his hips. A sudden thump drew his attention to the front store windows — he felt his heartbeat quicken when he spotted a mass of walkers spread out along the glass, concealing the view of the parking lot, eyeing the three survivors hungrily as they pressed against the entrance.

“Oh shit,” Glenn cursed, expression panicked.

“Get the car,” Daryl immediately growled, dropping to his knees once more beside Y/N.

Glenn faltered. “What?”

“Get the god damn car an’ bring it ‘round back!” the archer snapped, slipping his belt behind Y/N’s thigh, wincing when she cried out softly. “M’ sorry. Ya jus’ hang on, girl. Ya gon’ be okay,” he murmured to her, reaching up to brush back the hair that had fallen over her face before taking a breath and looking up at Glenn. “Slip out the back door. Go ‘round the other side a’ the building. There’s a row a’ trees ya can cut through ta’ avoid the biters,” he urged as he tightened the belt buckle a few inches above the injury in an attempt to slow the bleeding. “Get the car an’ bring it ‘round back. Go.”

Glenn nodded quickly, jumping to his feet and jogging to the back end of the store. Daryl watched as he peeked through the exit, ensuring the coast was clear before he bolted from the store and out of sight. Daryl took a deep breath, gritting his teeth together as he clasped the belt buckle as tight as it would go, his heart breaking as he elicited another pained gasp from Y/N. “M’ sorry, m’ sorry. S’alright, girl,” he soothed.

“Daryl…” she winced, gnashing her teeth to stop from crying out.

“Jus’ me an’ you, now. I got ya,” he murmured, taking her hand in his as he surveyed the walkers outside.

“Hurts,” she whimpered. He hated how small she sounded, how weak she was getting. He hated everything about the stupid fucking situation they’d suddenly found themselves in.

“I know,” he rumbled, despite the panic threatening to crush him. “S’ gonna be okay. I ain’t gon’ let nothin’ happen ta’ ya.” Nothin’ else, ya mean, a cruel voice in the back of his head sounded.

Y/N nodded shakily, training her eyes on the ceiling of the market, her teeth chattering as the effects of blood loss began to take over. “T-Talk to me,” she suddenly grimaced as another vicious shiver racked through her, the force of it causing her to flinch as the knife shifted inside her.

Daryl paused, shaking his head slightly. “What’d ya want me ta’ say?” he murmured helplessly, feeling her fingers tighten around his, ignoring the rush of heat that flushed his skin.

“Please,” she whispered, her voice cracking slightly, body stiffening in attempt to keep the next wave of pain at bay. “Just t-talk to me. D-Distract me,” she chattered, forcing a small smile onto her lips as she craned her neck towards him.

Daryl sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment as the thumping outside started getting louder and louder. He felt a pit begin to grow in his stomach and sent a silent urge to Glenn to pick up the damn pace. Those storefront windows weren’t going to keep that herd back for much longer. He was already beginning to see cracks in the glass forming along the edges. “Shit,” he growled, before focusing on Y/N. “We gotta move. M’ sorry.”

Y/N’s expression furrowed. “W-Why do you keep saying that?”

Daryl faltered. “Huh?”

“You keep apologizing,” she clarified, wincing slightly.

Daryl didn’t miss how the words at the tail end of her sentence began slurring together. Instead of responding to her question, he braced himself to relocate Y/N towards the back door, where Glenn would be bringing the car any moment now. He slipped his crossbow over his shoulder, along with his pack before kneeling in front of Y/N. “We can talk all ya want after Hershel takes a look at ya,” he finally vowed, expression fierce.

But Y/N just looked up at him sadly. “Might not make it back,” she whispered weakly.

“Stop,” Daryl immediately shot back, the words slipping through his lips almost instantly. “I’m gettin’ ya home. Now, ya jus’ hang on, girl.”

Then, without another word, Daryl slipped one arm behind Y/N’s back and the other beneath her knees, hefting her off the group in one swift motion. She cried out in agony as her leg jostled, grabbing a fistful of his leather vest in her hand as he maneuvered her to the opposite end of the store.

Once he reached the other side, he set her down gently, propping her up in a seated position with her back pressed against the doorframe. A thin sheen of sweat coated her forehead, her breathing coming out heavier than normal, her skin even paler than before. Daryl feared she was seconds from passing out but then suddenly, her eyes widened, a horrified expression crossing her features as she looked not at him…but behind him.

A moment later, a deafening crash sounded throughout the store and Daryl whipped his head around, watching as one of the glass pane windows shattered open and a cluster of walkers began stumbling inside.

The first wave of walkers started feasting on Wade — Daryl wasn’t sure if the man was already dead from the beating he’d gotten or simply unconscious. Either way, as soon as the biters began ripping the flesh from his exposed skin, it didn’t matter anymore. He was gone.

The second wave of the dead swarmed around Billy’s body, the mass of them concealing him from view as they feasted.

Daryl didn’t think.

He uttered every curse word he could think of as he jumped to his feet and pulled out Wade’s gun, still tucked into the waistband of his jeans. He fired at the third wave of walkers who’d set their sights on the remaining live survivors. Five bullets found a home inside of the brains of five biters before the gun’s chamber emptied.

It felt as though his body was on autopilot as he slung his crossbow off his shoulder and began reloading it. He huffed a breath as he fired a bolt at an approaching dead one, feeling that familiar sense of satisfaction as the biter fell to the floor, an arrow through its skull. The crossbow reload time was slowing him down, so he opted for the hunting knife stashed in his pack’s side pocket. He glanced over his shoulder at Y/N as he reached for his weapon, noticing how her skin was nearly translucent, except for the streaks of blood covering her body. Her gaze met his, wide-eyed and terrified — so Daryl pushed aside his growing fears, shot her a determined nod, and simply positioned his body protectively in front of hers.

But there were just too many biters. For every two Daryl took down, three more took their place, hungrily clawing at him, attempting to tear into his flesh. His chest was heaving, lungs tightening, body aching, but he refused to give up. He prayed to whatever higher power was out there — if there even was any higher power out there — to help him get through this, to help him get Y/N out of here alive.

And then suddenly, in the next instance, he saw something that sent a jolt of hope through him — he spotted Glenn peeling through the parking lot like a bat out of hell, blaring the car horn to attract the dead infiltrating the storefront. His attempts luckily worked, distracting most of the walkers, who turned their attention in pursuit of the roaring vehicle and began ambling out of the store. Daryl felt a weight lift off his chest as the small horde in front of him became much more manageable. He watched Glenn disappear from sight, veering the car towards the back of the store.

But all it took was that moment — that single, solitary moment of distraction — and one biter made its attack. Daryl felt its cold, rotted hands twist around his limbs, the weight of the onslaught knocking him clean off his feet and onto his back before he even had a chance to take a breath. A rush of air escaped his lips as a heaviness settled over his chest. He lifted his head up, only to come nose to nose with one of the most grotesque walkers he’d ever seen, its jaws snapping wildly, vying for a taste of his flesh.

A swell of panic overcame him as he began flailing his arms and legs, trying to maneuver his knife for a counter attack, but to no avail — still, he kept fighting, grunting from the exertion, desperate for the release.

A mist of hot, putrid air filled his nose as the biter laying on top of him opened its mouth, unhinged its jaw, and launched a fatal bite towards the exposed flesh of his neck…

But then, he heard a blood-curdling scream and the walker on top of him stilled.

He faltered, feeling his breath catch in his throat as he craned his neck, struggling to push the dead weight off his body — and that’s when he saw it.

A knife embedded into the walker’s brain — Y/N’s knife.

And Daryl felt his stomach drop. He scrambled out from beneath the biter, roughly shoving it to the side. He sat up quickly, his gaze immediately landing on Y/N — she was splayed out beside him, crying softly, curled inwardly, fingers wrapped around the now visible gash on her thigh. “No, no, no,” he murmured in horror as the amount of blood spilling out of Y/N’s thigh increased like a river that had overflowed. “No! Damn it, Y/N, what did ya do? What did ya do, damn it! What did ya do!” he demanded wildly, although the answer was clear as day.

She’d saved his life. She’d ripped that knife out of her thigh and plunged it into the brain of the walker that had attacked him. She’d saved him.

And the cost of that sacrifice could very well be her life.

Daryl didn’t think.

“Shit!” he swore, rushing to Y/N’s side and pressing down on the gushing wound in an attempt to slow the bleeding.

An abrupt gunshot snapped his gaze up towards the back door where he saw Glenn suddenly appear, firing his pistol at the incoming walkers. “We gotta go!” he shouted in a panic, shooting at a biter that was about to swipe at Y/N’s outstretched leg.

Daryl growled under his breath, slipping an arm beneath Y/N’s knees and behind her back, quickly lifting her off the ground. She cried out from the sudden movement, but Daryl pushed forward, hurrying through the back door. Glenn laid down some cover fire as he backed out of the store, right on the archer’s heels, slamming the door to the market shut behind him.

“Door!” Daryl snapped, waiting until Glenn scrambled to open the back door of the car, allowing Daryl to maneuver himself into the backseat, Y/N still cradled in his arms.

The archer inched forward until he was able to reach behind and slam the door shut as Glenn threw himself into the driver’s seat. The door to the market flew open as a river of walkers began pouring out, banging their fists against the car windows. But within seconds, Glenn had the car lurching forward, speeding out of the parking lot, leaving the horde of the dead behind.

Daryl adjusted himself in the cramped backseat, pressing his back against the car door and propping Y/N up between his legs, her back resting against his chest. “Alright, alright, ya with me, girl?” he murmured, slightly out of breath, wrapping one arm around her waist to keep her from jostling and the other reaching down her thigh to apply pressure on the oozing injury.

“Uh huh,” she mumbled meekly, words slurred as her head bobbed up and down.

“How long ’til we get there?” Daryl growled, staring at Glenn through the rearview mirror.

“Twenty minutes,” Glenn replied as he tightened his grip around the wheel, brows furrowed as he shot Y/N a worried look. “Maybe more.”

Daryl huffed a breath. “Make it ten,” he demanded, turning his attention back to Y/N’s trembling body as Glenn applied more force to the accelerator, the car barreling forward even faster. “How we doin’ here, huh? C’mon, talk ta’ me, Y/N,” he urged, tightening the belt strapped around her upper thigh before slipping his hand into his back pocket for the red rag he always kept tucked there, using the material in an attempt to slow the blood flow.

“Tired,” she murmured, her head lolling against Daryl’s shoulder.

“I need ya ta’ stay awake for me, alright? We’re almost there,” he coaxed anxiously, wondering if he sounded as scared as he felt.

Y/N seemed to find a bit of strength and tilted her head up to look at Daryl, their faces inches apart, simply taking the other in for a long, silent moment. “W-Wanna know a secret?” she suddenly murmured, eyes dropping tiredly, lips chapped and colorless.

Daryl swallowed the lump in his throat. “What?”

A small smile slipped across her features, reminding Daryl of that brief, lighthearted moment they’d shared in the market before all hell broke loose. “I’ve always had a crush on you,” she singsonged lightly, her words scratchy and faint, but something fiery igniting in her eyes.

“Stop,” he hushed quietly, rolling his eyes a bit. In any other instance, her words would’ve sent his mind reeling, his pulse whirling. But right now, watching the life slowly fade from her captivating gaze, those words drove a dagger directly into Daryl’s heart.

She sighed softly, a vicious tremor racking through her and Daryl quickly tightened his hold around her, almost as if he could physically transfer his own strength into her. But after the shiver ceased, her body feeling heavier than previously, she slowly craned her neck up to look at the archer. “S’ true,” she murmured, her eyes suddenly watering, her lower lip trembling. “You’re a good person, Daryl Dixon,” she whispered, her voice breaking as a swell of emotion overcame her, a single tear slipping from the corner of her eye and cascading down the side of her face. “The best,” she corrected herself, hiccuping slightly as her teeth began to chatter.

That was when Daryl realized her lips were turning blue.

His throat tightened like a sudden lump had formed there as he stared down into Y/N’s wide, round eyes. He had no words. What was there to say? That he was sorry? That this was his fault? That he didn’t deserve her affection? None of that seemed right.

So Daryl didn’t think.

Instead, he tilted his head down, merely an inch, gently pressing his warm lips to her cold ones. He couldn’t explain what had come over him. Maybe it was Y/N’s sudden confession. Maybe it was the close proximity or the given circumstances. Or maybe, just maybe, it was simply something he’d wanted to do since the moment he’d met her.

And so there he found himself, melding his lips with hers, pouring everything he’d wished he would’ve said and done before today into that one, soft, meaningful kiss.

When he pulled away, slightly breathless, Y/N was staring up at him in a mixture of awe and sadness, a slight tinge of rosy pink brought back to her lips and cheeks. “About damn time,” she whispered faintly, her gaze portraying all of the longing that Daryl felt in the depths of his soul.

But then, her eyes fluttered…her head bobbed…her color faded.

And Daryl was hit once more with the startling reality of what was happening. “No, no, no,” he murmured desperately, tightening his arms around her, attempting to prop her up straighter. “Alright, ya wanted ta’ talk, right? Let’s talk. What’d ya wanna talk ‘bout, Y/N? Anythin’. C’mon, tell me.”

Y/N exhaled shakily, fighting off the dark sleep threatening to take over. “Hey, D?” she mumbled weakly.

“Yeah?”

“Doesn’t hurt anymore,” she whispered, eyes drooping into slits. “My leg.”

Daryl felt his heart skip, a feeling of dread coursing through him. “Y/N —”

“Hey, D?”

Daryl squeezed his eyes shut, fearing what was to come. “Yeah?” he choked out.

Y/N paused. “I’ll always be your girl.”

His eyes shot open as Y/N nuzzled closer to his chest, tucking her head beneath his chin, sighing softly — and Daryl couldn’t help but feel a little bit of life leave her with that single breath. His vision suddenly blurred, eyes glassy with a sheen of unshed tears as he curled his arms protectively around her middle. “Always,” he murmured deeply, pressing his cheek onto the top of her head.

It was quiet after that, just the humming of the car engine filling the air as Glenn raced it down winding road after winding road. The dwindling sun could be seen peeking through the forest trees, setting the branches aglow with its brilliant rays. The road curved distinctly and Daryl knew they were growing closer to the prison, only a few miles from home at that point.

But it didn’t matter.

Because he had felt Y/N exhale a few moments prior and never resume breathing after that.

She was gone.

His girl was gone.

And all he could do was sit there, arms wrapped around her depleted, blood-soaked body, and envision what life might’ve looked like had he had the guts to tell her how he felt before it was too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: *crickets chirping*...*taps nails nervously against desk*...*anxiously avoids eye contact* Oh. Hi. Sorry, didn’t see you there. Hahahahaimsorryhahahaha.

OKAY, LET’S CHAT FOR A MINUTE BEFORE YOU DECIDE THAT YOU HATE ME.

Here’s what I’m feeling - I hated this ending. Well, actually, I loved this story and how I wrote it (which is pretty rare for me lol). But I hated this ending because I so badly wanted a happier one. I wanted Daryl and Glenn to get Y/N back to the prison in time and for Hershel to save her and for Daryl to sit by her bedside until she woke up and then profess his feelings for her and then live happily ever after.

But for the life of me, I couldn't get myself to write that. Maybe because most of my stories have happy endings (or as happy as can be in the middle of a zombie apocalypse). Maybe because I was looking for a challenge and angst is a challenge for me. Or maybe because this is simply the outcome I’d subconsciously envisioned from the beginning.

I honestly felt so depressed writing this ending, I wanted to go back and change it multiple times, but I just couldn’t. This is, unfortunately, how their story ends. 

BUT. FEAR NOT. 

If anyone out there is as upset as I am about this ending, we have a few options here...

1. I can write an epilogue about the aftermath of what happened/hopefully bring Daryl’s heart a bit of peace. (Poor baby. I’m so sorry I did this to you. Forgive me.)

2. You can tell me to fuck off and relax because I’m TOO INVESTED IN A FICTIONAL STORY WITH FICTIONAL CHARACTERS AND NO ONE ACTUALLY CARES.

LET ME KNOW BELOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO SEE EITHER OF THESE THINGS.

Ahem. Anyways. 

Quick shout out to my girls @jodiereedus22 and @wilhelmjfink for always being so supportive. I love you both so so much! (CHECK OUT THEIR STORIES! BOTH ARE AWESOME WRITERS!)

And thank you, everyone, for all the love and support this two-parter was shown - the feedback was honestly mind-blowing. I wish there was more I could do to express how much I love you all. Just know how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you for the kindness. My heart is full.

Feedback is INCREDIBLY important. I write for my own happiness, but I also write for YOU. So don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask or message or leave a comment with your thoughts! It truly motivates me and helps move along the writing process. Let’s discuss and be friends!

If you want to be notified when I post again, let me know and I’ll add you to my tag list!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FOREVER TAG LIST

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Let me know if you’d like to be added/removed from the forever tag list.

[illstaywithstray]

Request: Hello! May i request angsty fluff chan scenarios when he compared you to his ex? Thanks☺😘❤

note: THIS IS SO LATE I APOLOGIZE! also oof this was a tough one bc i feel like he wouldn’t do that, but testosterone is a funni chemical

xx

At first, being with Chris Bang made you feel like you were floating; you were constantly in this mood where it seemed like no one could bring you down. Because he was so damn perfect and you were falling head over heels. But for some reason, recently you were getting angrier and he was losing his patience more often and both of you were constantly on edge with each other. But you were still in love with this boy. And he was absolutely obsessed with you. But every time he would cancel plans, every single time he would ignore you because of some stupid fight, you felt like you were breaking apart when he either texted you something short and blunt or nothing at all. On several occasions, either you went too far or he went too far, and there would be a period of silence but no apology. There would just a silent hug or a peace offering like breakfast before he left. But then it was February, and Valentines Day and both of you were trying really hard to fix your relationship, and he was gushing about his plans and you were so so excited because this was the first time you guys were having a good time doing something together. And this boy, he kept telling you that he would pause all work for you. Even if JYP tried to drag his body to the rehearsal studio he wouldn't budge. Because

“Y/n, you're so important to me, above everything else. Trust me, this is gonna be huge.”

And you had smiled while your heart just melted because finally, finally you guys were mending things. And then it was Valentine’s Day. You got ready, taking the time to straighten and brush out your hair. You wore your favorite dress, the black satin one you had gotten on a trip to Milan. Your phone buzzed and you put on a coat while checking it. 

“cant make it. work. sorry”

The screen blurred as you fell back onto the couch. You could feel your heart pounding faster until your chest was tight and it hurt to breathe. You were just crying and crying and just absolutely broken. He knew, he fucking knew how much you had been looking forward to this. But he canceled with no explanation, no remorse. 

An hour passed and the phone rang. 

”Chan?”

“Hey y/n, it's actually Lucas? Lucas Wong? Uhh, we met when you came to our concert? NCT? Maybe you don't remember me? You know, like-”

“Ok, ok, sorry Lucas, I just thought you were Chan,” you said, laughing at your best friend. “God y/n, I thought you forgot me already. I was wondering if you were free right now?” “Yeah, I am” “Wanna go to the spot tonight?” “Yeah, pick me up? I’m pretty much ready” “Alright, see you in five”

You ignored the messages on your phone while flying out of the apartment into the cold night. Lucas looked up at you while you came down the stairs, looking away quickly. You paused as he opened the door for you, and glanced at his face. It was red. 

It was silent in the car till he started talking. 

“Well, you look nice, not gonna lie, and also Johnny’s on my ass for ditching practice for you tonight, so you better feel grateful, and also I brought a lot of food but let's eat it at the end this time”

“Okokok, hold on. Who was the one who threw up on the carousel last time? After chugging three sodas?” 

You glanced over at him and grinned while he just laughed.

“Ok stop exposing me, I'm supposed to be strong... like king kong”

“I know. And you are”

He glanced at you once, laughing quietly.

An hour later, you were both laughing your asses off. The spot was a place you and Lucas had stumbled upon a couple months ago. It was pretty much an abandoned circus, but the rides were intact. At night, the streetlamps lit up the entire place and it looked so ethereal with blushes of gold and red. The Ferris wheel was where you had kissed Lucas once upon a time.

“NO, WE LOST HIM” “I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT LUCAS” “Y/N I HAD TO” “WHY” “BECAUSE I HAD TO DEFEND YOUR HONOR” “SO YOU SHOVED A PIE IN A POLICE OFFICER’S FACE?” He sighed, slowing to a walk. “Don't question me y/n, my actions are pure instinct.” “If you say so Lucas. Ferris wheel now?” "Hell yeah, let's get it”

You clambered onto the small cart, with him sitting just opposite of you. The carts were small, so your knees rested against his. You both silently stared into the night. The ground became a haze as you stopped at the top. Roofs of buildings seemed so far away and car lights became little stars. 

“Y/n? Why are you alone?” “Hmm?” You glanced over at him, and now it looked like he hadn’t been looking at the buildings.

He’d been looking at you.

“What do you mean?” “I mean where’s Chan” “He’s busy, I guess practice went overtime today” “What practice?” “I'm pretty sure he was working on some dance, he had to help Jeongin learn the last few steps” “Then why’s this on Changbin’s story?” He pulled something up on his phone and turned the screen to face you. The room was dark and blasting music and members from a girl group were dancing with the guys from Stray Kids. Chan was with a short girl who looked like she was having the time of her life. You couldn’t really see his face because of the flashing lights. Felix yelled into the camera. 

“DAMN CHAN, YOU AlREADY HAVE Y/N-”

Before the video ended. You just stared at it, as it looped and played over and over again. Lucas pulled it away, and then turned off his phone and looked back at you. 

“I’m sorry” 

“How could he do this to me-,” you managed to get out before your vision began blurring. “Oh my god, he always does shit like this, I’m so-,” but Lucas refused to let you finish and smothered you in a hug. You were sobbing into his sweatshirt when the ride began going back down. 

The drive home was silent, but you were attached to Lucas’s arm, laying your head on his shoulder. As soon as you pulled into the driveway, you saw Chan sitting on the front steps, head in hands. There was a bouquet of roses sitting next to him. As soon as he heard the engine, he got to his feet and looked at you in the passenger's seat. Then his eyes went over to Lucas and back to your head laying on his shoulder. You could feel his anger through the door, but thanked Lucas for everything and got out. Chan stared at you and followed you in, ignoring the roses. 

“What the hell?”

“What?” You didn’t even look at him as he started looking you up and down and trying to process what he had seen.

“Y/n, why the hell were you with him? And while wearing that?”

“You’re such a hypocrite, you were literally fucking around with some girl. I saw Felix’s story”

“God, you can’t even trust me? She was forcing herself on me, not the other way around,” he ran his fingers through his hair angrily, “honestly, even h/e/n was less fucked up than you.”

You felt like you’d been slapped, while he realized what he had said. 

“Wait, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant-” but you were already walking out.

You hurried down the stairs while he opened it and ran after you. You were in the middle of the road when he finally caught up, pulling your wrist back, moving you off the street.

“How many times Chan? How many fucking times are you gonna hurt me?” your voice was breaking.

His eyes turned sad. “Y/n, I’m sorry, that was such a stupid and unnecessary thing of me to say. I’m sorry that I didn’t explain anything, but I had practice and Felix decided to drag me to some party. I swear I wasn’t the one who texted you, it was one of the girls there. I know I screwed up, but I’m still in love with you, and you’re the only girl for me. I’m sorry I got mad about Lucas, but I trust you and I know he’s just a friend. I know we’re going through something, but I don’t want you to leave me.”

“I love you too and I’m not leaving,” was all you were able to say before his lips met yours.

[yourjughead]

Loyalty Part.3

Sweet Pea x Reader

A/N: here it is you guys 😂

----------------------------------

Sweet Pea POV

I sat in the locker room, the other bulldogs buzzing around me with their own pre game rituals. I didn't feel like playing today even if it was an important game, I just wanted to lie face down in a ditch somewhere. I had made a mess, one bad decision after the other and I was beginning to think that started with Sarah. I hated myself for thinking it but was she even worth it? Do I do the gauntlet and have them throttle me?

“Sweet Pea, let's go, you're on the starting team” Reggie snapped me out of it and I found myself once again with my feet on the floor and onto the court. A trance began. Next thing I knew I was flat on my back on the court floor, the lights dipping in and out of focus, coach shouting without audible words as he stood above me.

~

“THE REST OF THE SEASON?!”

“Calm down Sweet Pea” the doctor patted my shoulder as the colour was ever so slightly returning to my cheeks as coach paced the floor.

“Are you sure there's nothing we can do doc?”

“I'm afraid not, concussion is very serious, he's out” I had been completely knocked clean from me feet by a colossal beast from the other team. If I was conscious when it happened I would have killed him. If any of the other Serpents bothered to come watch the games anymore they would have killed him.

I looked all over to find Sarah and I just couldn't, the gym had cleared out by the time I was done with my HIA and she didn't wait. I circled around the empty gym, trying to clear my head from the mess I had surrounded myself with.

The sound of the fire doors lapping took my eyes from the glossy floor. Yn was on the phone deep in conversation and had clearly not seen me. Her eye was healing but that was about it, her recovery was seemingly stagnant. I moved to leave not wanting to eavesdrop but her shaky voice stopped me. He knees buckled as if she were a newborn foal and she hit the varnish almost as hard as I did.

“Yn!” The phone slipped from her hands as she favoured covering her flooding eyes instead. I ran to her immediately, blocking my own disheveled dizziness from my mind. My arms hung around her as I pulled her up and against me.

“What's happened ynn-ie, shhhh tell me what's happened, please” her reply to my concern was a pure mismash of syllables, I had never seen her or anyone cry so hard and it was shattering my heart. I picked her up as if I were a fireman carrying a body from a building knowing I would never get a legible answer from her in this state. I was careful when lifting and moving her, knowing beneath her leather was a body battered from my neglect.

The carpark had almost cleared out after the game, undoubtedly all gone to Pops in celebration, it suited me that way, I know yn would want no one to see her this upset. I let her worn boots touch the ground as I rested her back against my truck and held her forearms to prop her up.

“Please tell me what's happened ynn-ie”

“M-y dad...he-Pea!” Her quivering voice couldn't handle the words and she launched forward back into my arms, head flush with my chest. The grumble of an engine was accompanied by a skid of rubber on tarmac. Fangs came fumbling off his bike and at us.

“Ynn!” His own voice was as about as steady as his entrance. I reluctantly let him pull yn from me and into himself, his callous hands stroking her hair as her heart audibly shattered. Fangs looked at me almost as if I was the one to do this to her in the first place.

“Hey ynn it's going to be okay sweetheart I'm here, c'mon let's get you home” he went to haul her weakening body towards his bike before I put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Fangs she's not able to hold onto you on that bike, she'll fall and get hurt-”

“-more hurt than you made her?” Okay I deserved that.

“Yes. Let me take her in my car and you follow behind and then I'll leave again if you want just...I can't leave her like that”

“You pick your moments to have loyalty don't you?” I bit the inside of my cheek, afraid if I made a dig of my own he wouldn't let me help. I settled for a blank face and then opened the passenger seat door, Fangs begrudgingly agreeing and helping me sit her in and close the door.

“Fangs, what happened”

“Y/D/N is dead” fuck.

~

3 weeks later. SP POV.

It was a surreal time in my life. Sarah and I were fighting like cat and dog, Fangs and Toni were slowly letting me back in, yn was broken. She hadn't let me leave her side much, which greatly annoyed some of the Seniors but I didn't care. I was loyal to ynn and her familys reign. Others not so much.

We found ourselves in the midst of a civil war. Many (including myself partially) believed ynn was too young to assume her birthright and her absence from meetings while in mourning didn't help. I was still jacketless but was allowed attend meetings once again, doing recon to assess the situation. Ynn was only just 19, her birthday tainted with the death of her father and her power hungry uncle had arrived back in town and he was starving.

Shouting and hollering filled the Whyte Wyrm as a meeting took place, hell ascending with the absence of a murdered leader, believed to be taken by the same people who went for ynn. Her uncle standing on the pool table, spouting crap about YNs unsuitability receiving disagreeing groans from all of the Jrs and the majority of Seniors. The bar was swallowed in empty shouting.

The sound of a gun being fired silenced everyone immediately, some ducking for cover but most reaching for their own guns. Ynn emerged from the upstairs office, standing on the staircase having fired a gun through the ceiling. She didn't look like the weak yn I had left this morning when I went to school. She was reborn from the ashes of a family coming down around her.

“Yn, I wasn't expecting your company this evening” her uncle Frank seethed.

“Clearly” she dragged her eyes around the room before continuing her descent down the rickety stairs. My phone buzzed with a message from Sarah that I silenced.

“You can leave now Frank, your assistance will no longer be needed, I'm ready to take on my duty” her voice was unshaken, like her stare in Frank's direction.

“But Yn, you need guidance”

“I need nothing from you and your disloyalty, I have plenty of assistance should I require it”

“Yn, I will not have this disrespect in front of the Serpents. I am your senior, I-”

“Actually no, I am your senior and your behavior in the wake of my father's death is unacceptable. He's hardly buried a week and you're gunning for his job. My job.” the other Serpents including myself looked amongst ourselves, afraid to breathe too loudly in case it attracted YNs cold tone.

“FP, please see Frank on his way. Meeting is dismissed. Fangs my fath-my office now” the bar scurried back to life and I watched FP escort a begrudge Frank from the bar. My phone sounding off once again.

“Hello?- Sarah I'm out- no I can't come over I have serpent things- yes it's important- Sarah! Her dad died don't say shit like that! Goodbye!” I hung up the phone and turned it off for the first time since I did the night yn was hurt.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“I don't think you could call it paradise anymore Toni”

“Hmph, you've been good to us these past few weeks, it's appreciated” I nodded in thanks and she looked at her own phone before taking my hand and bringing me to ynns office, having clearly been summoned.

------------

Xx

[futurewriter2000]

Combatants ~ Part 1

A/N: Hiya.. Sorry for not posting anything but I am just really busy with school and all that shit. Anyway, I will start writing ships and request as soon as possible and I’m sorry it took me this long. Also this is just something I found in my drafts and I just thought I should post it even though I feel a bit insecure about it but I really hope you like it.

Pairing: Sirius Black x reader 

Warning: angst, a lot of bickering, mentions of domestic violence 

*Combatant - def. a fighter*

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

xx

"You pile of shit! What the hell do you think you are doing huh?!!!" you yelled at him, took out your wand and pointed it to his throat.

"(Y/n)!"

"Shut up Severus!" you roared at him. You pushed your wand even harder to his throat, backing him against the tree. "Do you think this is fun?! You think it's fun being bullied by arseholes like you!! Well it's fucking not!! He was reading a book you morons!! Some people love to do that if you haven't noticed it by now! Just because you are from a strong pureblood family does not mean you have privileges!! But what's a family to you if you got disowned!"

Your eyes were flooded with anger and fire. How can they not be. Severus is your friend. Even though a lot of people don't notice it, he is a kind person. He helped you through your struggles with potions, transfiguration, history of magic and divination. You were just a clueless muggleborn and he was the only person who offered to help. The worst part was, that even though you were never great at school, you got put in Ravenclaw. It was pure torture for you. You hated to be the only Ravenclaw with bad grades. So you stayed quiet, you stayed in the shadows. Untill now.

"Expelliarmus!" yelled James and your wand flew out of your hands. He pointed his wand at you, an evil smirk forming on his lips and without even thinking you grabbed his wand and punched him right in the nose. He fell backwards, hitting the ground and grabbing his bloody nose.

Sirius, who was standing in front of you, angry and upset by the words you said to him, stepped closer to you. You shot him a warning glare, stood your ground and was not about to stand back. "And who in the bloody hell do you think you are, interfering in my problems! This is between us and Snape! And you have no clue what I had to go through with my family! You have no idea!" he yelled back at you.

Merlin you felt your blood boil. You dug your nails deeper in your palm, barely holding yourself back. "I'm interferring because I am sick of standing by and watch you bully Severus! You tried to kill him when we were 16! Sixteen!! And I do have a clue! If you forgot you have a brother. A brother who is kind and good. A brother who YOU left behind! And he may be a bit lost right now but he is five times more of a person that you will ever be!!! You pity yourself with your problems about your family. Oh man I am a victim of domestic violence. Bu - hoo! Well there are people who's been through worse, who have SEEN worse! " you shouted, taking the last bit of air out of your lungs.

"(Y/n), don't!" you heard Severus from behind.

"No! " you turned to Severus. You pointed your finger at Sirius and your eyes on Snape. " He pretends he has the worst life in the world! What's so bad about it?! The Potters who have kindly accepted you to their family, the pureblood status and all that comes with it or maybe the good grades you get without even studying. "

Sirius felt his rage slowly disappear.

You took off your robes and lifted your shirt. "That!" you showed him three white wounds streching from your stomach to almost your neck. " That is what true pain feels like! That is what you get from dropping the plates at age 13! " you yelled and pulled down your shirt again.

Sirius stood quiet and you knew excatly why.

"Do not pity me Black. Don't you dare pity me. " you stepped even closer, your rage slowly disappearing. "You try and touch him one more time, I swear it won't be just James' nose that will be broken. " you threatned, turned your heel and walked towards Snape.

Grabbing his arm, you pulled him up and started dragging him behind you. "Why did you do that!? I don't need to be saved by a stupid mudblood Ravenclaw!" he spat out.

You turned around, letting go of his arm and sending him a warning glare. " Severus Snape! Do not tempt me right now!"

He quickly stood down."You're right. I'm sorry but it's just that I'm in Slytherin and-"

"And I am a stupid Ravenclaw. Guess Sorting Hat is a bitch!" you stopped and started waving with your hands. You felt tears on your cheeks, not even knowing why or how, but they were there. All of a sudden you looked at Severus, your head heavy and your heart slowing its beat. "God Sevi. I was sorted into the smart house and I am no near of being smart. How on earth can an idiot like me be in Ravenclaw?" you dropped yourself on the ground and let out a deep sigh.

"You are not an idiot, (y/n). Being in Ravenclaw doesn't only mean being smart. You are intelligent and wise. You love to learn new things, you love solving puzzles and no way you would copy homework from anyone. You are original and creative and you know excatly what to do in the most catastrophic times and you..well you are just amazing. It doesn't matter if you are in Ravenclaw. " he sat next to you, putting his hand on your knee.

You layed on the grass. It was cold and wet, but you didn't care. Right now you didn't care about anything. You just looked at the sky, grey and stormy clouds slowly approaching the Hogwarts castle while your mind processed the happening. "I just punched James Potter in the face." you chuckled as you realized what just happened.

"See. Who needs a wand when you are a fist-fighting muggleborn. How creative is that!" he laid down next to you and looked at the cluds.

After the moment of silenece he turned his head to you "How did it feel though?" he asked curiously.

"Punching Potter? It felt really good. You should try it." you laughed as you remembered the strong feeling, that washed over you right after punching that obnoxious and arrogant arse in the face.

"You are my favorite person in this school. You know that right?" he said, putting his arms under his head.

"I thought Lily was your favorite person in this school?"

"I do admit I love her. But you are definetly my most trusted friend."

---

The next day you sat down at your table with a few of your friends. As you sat down, they eyed you, got up and left. You looked confused, not knowing what the hell just happened. Turning your head around, you saw your fellow clasmates staring at you angrly. They gave you an uncomfortable feeling in your stomach, almost as if you were embarrased or guilty of something. But it wasn't just the Ravenclaws with their prying eyes. Students from the other houses had their eyes on you as well. Feeling like you have just been convicted of something, you grabbed your books and walked out of the Great Hall.

Arriving to the door, you knocked three times and the eagle spoke. "I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?"

"Well shit." you mumbled under your breath. "Tall, young....short, old." you continued to mumble. "Damn these riddles!" you yelled as you had no clue of what it was supposed to be.

"I know right. Hard to answer something you don't know." said the boy, standing next to you.

'Where did he come from?' you asked yourself, staring at the boy with navy blue hair.

You kept quiet as you don't remember seeing him before. "They say I should avoid you." he glanced at you but immediately turned his gaze back on the eagle. "That I should let you struggle with this riddle." he continued, making you feel a bit offended. "I don't know you though. I just transfered here in the middle of the year." he continued to talk. "I heard you protected a snake."

"He is not a snake! He is my friend!" you snapped at him. Clearly your bad temper can't stay hidden anymore. Six years of pushing feelings down has its consequences.

"Okay. Calm down. I guess I would protect my cat too if someone would try to hurt her." he said calmly. You chuckled to his response. The fact he thought you were protecting your pet made you feel a bit better. Maybe you weren't the only slow-witted Ravenclaw. He looked at you confused and furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"He is not my pet. I was protecting a friend. Severus Snape. He is a Slytherin and a lot of people don't like Slytherins, especially the Gryffindors." you explained and looked at the eagle. "So do you know the answer or not?"

"No clue. I don't know how will I do this on my own." he said turning his green eyes back to you and scratching the back of his neck.

"The answer is a candle." you said proudly and the door swung open.

"You knew the answer all along, didn't you? " he grinned at you.

"I wish I had. I need a long time to think. Kind of not the perfect Ravenclaw."

"Well at least you knew the answer." he replied as you both entered the common room.

When you entered the room, it suddenly became quiet. You heard the whispers and felt their stares, but you decided to completly ignore it. "Hey (y/n)! Where is your boyfriend S-S-S-Snape." hissed one of Ravenclaws.

"That's none of your business Bruto." you retorded and turned to get a book from one of the shelves.

"Oi, Jack. Come to join us? We are going by the lake." asked Bruto.

"No. I'm fine. I'll just stay here." replied the boy, whose name was appereantly Jack. He sat next to you and opened his book.

"You don't have to stay here. You can go and hang out with them. " you said, not removing your eyes from the book.

"I want to hang out with you, not them." he replied not removing his eyes from the book either.

"Well I am not really popular around here." you said, looking up and closing your book.

" That's good. Because I don't want to be popular." he said, his eyes still on the book.

You looked at him, your book still in your lap and wondered. Why would he want to hang out with you? I mean everybody hates you now that you punched a Prefect in Gryffindor. Hanging out with you, who doesn't have the perfect grades, barely passes her exams and hangs out with most Slytherins? Why? There has to be some agenda to this. Right?

As you watched his eyes moving left and right, scanning the pages of the book, you noticed something. One of his eyes was greener. You looked closely, narrowing your eyes. The right eye was green and the other was hazel. "I can't concentrate if you are staring at me." he said, finally lifting up his gaze. You noticed you stared at him for too long, his dark navy curls falling all over his glasses, blocking his eyes. "Look. The reason I want to hang out with you is because you are not like them. They are all the same. You are different." he smimply stated the facts.

"It's not that. Your eyes..."

"Oh... It's normal. I have heterocromia. Its a difference in coloration of the iris. I inherited it from my grandfather. He had one blue and the other was green."

“Oh.” was all that you said before you opened your book. He closed his and sat into the criss-cross position. "So what is the story anyway?"

" I punched an arrogant ass in the nose because he was bullying my friend Severus because he always loved to pick on him and now everybody hates me because I punched a popular and hot Gryffindor and threatened his slag of a best friend." you closed your book with a big thursh.

"You punched him?" he asked surprised.

"He disarmed me. I don't need a wand to protect myself." you scoffed and leaned back on the couch, watching him proccess what you just told him.

His expression went from surprised, to impressed and into curious. A huge grinn appeared on his face and than it disappeared again. He looked at you confused and asked. "So wait, is he your boyfriend?"

"Who? Severus? No. He has this giant crush on this Gryffindor girl Lily, who is also the crush of the guy I punched."

" That's really complicated." he said leaning back on the couch.

” Yeah well if you are staying here, might as well catch up.” you smiled.

He smiled back and pushed up his glasses. "I'm Jack by the way." 

"(Y/n)."

---

And that is how you got your first friend in Ravenclaw who was actually worth being friends with. Others just used you for their own benefit and you knew it, but you were desperate at the time. But not anymore. Talking with Jack almost for the whole day left you feeling warm. Not because you held any kind of feelings towards him, but because finally you finally don't feel lonely

---.

"Ah! Miss (y/l/n) . Will you come with me, please." said proffesor Flitwick, interrupting your chat with Jack.

You walked with Flitwick all over to the Gryffindor house, to McGonngal's office. You entered only to see 4 Gryffindors, a Slytherin and proffesor McGonngal sitting down in silence.

"Great." you sighed out.

"Miss (y/l/n), please care to sit down." said proffesor McGonngal.

You looked around the room, only to find the only seat empty was beside Sirius. "I'm fine standing up." 

"Sit down next to mr. Black , miss (y/l/n)." she said impatiently, pointing to the empty seat next to him.

"No disrespect proffesor, but I'd rather sit next to a dementor than to this ..." you paused for a bit. "Guy." you spit out coldly.

"What's your problem?!" snapped Sirius, standing up and pushing away his chair.

"What?!" you yelled back at him.

"Since when do you hate me that much you can't even say my name!"

"Did you really ask me that!? Since the day you picked on my friend for no appereant reason!"

"Silence!" yelled proffesor McGonngal.

"You ratted us out!" yelled Sirius pointing his finger to you.

"I ratted you out?!" you grabbed his finger and twirled it around. "You are the ones who ratted me out!! You wanted to get back because I punched poor little Potter in his fat nose!"

"Hey! My nose is not fat!" yelled Potter from his seat.

"I said silence!" repeated proffesor McGonngal.

"Why on earth would I ratt you out if it meant ratting myself out that doesn't make any sense!"

"And here you are accusing me of the same thing!"

"Can you like shut up for at least a second and let me think!" he yelled frustrated. He turned around, running his hand through his hair multiple times before turning back around.

Before he could start yellng again, you started first. "No I will not shut up, because here you are accusing me for no reason and there you are bullying Severus for no reason! You are a poor excuse for a Hogwarts student and a wizard!"

"Says the one who couldn't spell Transfiguration in the first year! No wonder you have no friends! You are stupid as a toerag. You don't even belong here! You belong in that filthy muggle world!"

"Mr.Black!" shouted proffesor McGonngal, getting up from her chair.

"No! You pretend like you are the poorest wizard in the world but you are not! You talk about me pitying myself-!"

"Because you do! Everybody knows who you are and everybody knows how your home is like but I never heard Regulus complain and do you think I complain-"

"Don't cut me off while I'm talking! And Regulus always was the favorite so don't you dare say stuff like that, which you have no clue about! "

You two were very close by now, your eyes both filled with rage and hate. Suddenly McGonngal walked over and seperated the two of you." That is enough!"

"No! Nobody wants you here! Nobody! Nobody cares if you stay here or if you drop dead! " he yelled and suddenly shut up after he heard what had he just said.

"Mr.Black! I said enough!" repeated McGonngal what felt like the hundredth time.

"Oh my god. (Y/n)" he looked at you, trying to find the right words for an appology.

You stood quiet and looked at him. You felt like someone squezzed your heart and your lungs and they can't function anymore. "You think I belong to the filthy muggle world huh?!" you yelled at him and started loosing your tie. " You wouldn't last three days without magic there. Except for me who has been struggling everyday to pass every test." you threw your tie on the ground and took out your wand. "You want me to drop dead. Fine!" you snapped your wand making everybody in the room gasp. You looked at his grey eyes, filled with guilt. Feeling your tears pushing their way into the surface, you turned your heel and walked out of the room.

"Miss (y/l/n)!" yelled proffesor McGonngal, running after you, but quickly losing the sight of you.

---

After you knocked on his door you heard some muttering and loud steps approaching the door. The dog continued to bark and you heard a lot of stuff falling on the ground. “Stop it Fangs!” he yelled before opening the door. "Miss (y/l/n)?"