#My Ex Added Me Back On Snapchat

[kath-artic]

i wouldve done numbers on storytime youtube

[saetoru]

i just know the next time you see suguru he’s like “oh hey! it’s the guy/girl who unfollowed me! fancy seeing you here 😒” because he’s just as petty as satoru’s ass. best friend match made in heaven 💀

i’m writing this for the sake of fun i’m not tagging (bc how do you tag platonic shit ??) but yeah … platonic! suguru + reader ft. rb! gojo (briefly)

seeing suguru is….well, awkward to say the least.

you hope for a moment that maybe he’ll ignore the fact that you removed him off of everything—instagram, twitter, snapchat, even venmo (he and satoru had a good laugh about that, much to your dismay.) but suguru is suguru and there is a reason why he gets along so well with satoru—and that’s because they’re equally as petty.

unfortunately.

“oh, hey,” he drawls, staring at his nails as his lips purse when you walk up, “it’s you. where do i know you from again? oh, right. i used to follow you on socials, didn’t i? yeah, that was a while ago. how’ve you been, stranger?”

“suguru, it’s been eight days,” you sigh, rolling your eyes.

“oh so we’re on first name basis? i didn’t realize—most of the people i’m on first name basis with follow me.”

“i didn’t have a choice,” you pout—and satoru (who for once doesn’t defend you) makes himself present from the distance as he calls out you definitely had a choice!

you sigh, deflating.

“i’m sorry i removed you from instagram,” you mumble. suguru raises a brow, unimpressed. “and twitter. and snap.”

“and?” he presses, making you huff in embarrassment and satoru chuckle in glee.

“….and venmo,” you say quietly. suguru snorts—it’s a good sign, at least.

“what was i gonna do? message you on venmo? please send me money for breaking my friend’s heart,” he mocks, making you pout deeper. yeah, you think, satoru and suguru are a match made in heaven—maybe satoru should date him instead of you.

“it’s not like i wanted to,” you say quietly, “i was in a tough spot.”

suguru is good natured, always has been. you used to think that being satoru’s best friend since childhood would make him susceptible to blindly picking your boyfriend’s side—but he’s not like that. he’s reasonable, defends you when he sees fit even if it means disagreeing with satoru. and he’s kind, dependable, treats you like family, looks out for you just like he does satoru.

suguru isn’t just your boyfriend’s best friend—he’s more than that to you. and when his face softens at your dejected one, you know he feels the same way.

“i know,” he says gently, flicking your forehead with that affectionate smile he always throws you, “that old man had it out for you. but i didn’t do anything. why did i have to get roped in?”

“glad to know you’d still follow my ex if we broke up,” satoru grumbles from the side, walking up to you both with a pile of sweets in his hands (which is an ungodly amount for just one person—and you know he intends to eat it all alone.)

“well, i didn’t want to make toru more sad,” you defend, “he seemed to be pretty in his feels. marvin’s room said enough.”

“i was about to remove him too after that one,” suguru crinkles his nose—which only makes satoru whine more about how you both can’t be mean together now! and how his feelings are still sensitive!

“that was terrible,” you snort, agreeing.

“anyway, can i maybe get my follow privileges back,” suguru raises a brow expectantly, crossing his arms, “you guys are back together and you still haven’t added me on anything. that’s foul.”

“i was nervous,” you defend through a whine, “what if you were mad?”

“i am mad,” he grumbles, “i was innocent.”

“i’m sorry suguru,” you pat his arm, “you’re right, it’s not your fault you’re stuck with satoru. he has no other friends.”

“huh? i have shoko!” satoru insists, gasping, “and nanami! and—”

“you’re right,” suguru sighs and nods, cutting satoru off, “if i drop him, he’ll be a loner. i’m stuck.”

satoru looks wounded. maybe heartbroken all over again, in fact. “wha—hey! you totally said i’m better off when i was first dumped! why are you acting like—”

“you and i are kind of the same,” you sigh playfully, “stuck with satoru for good. we’ll need to be each other’s support systems. rough times are ahead.”

“we can start with following each other back on socials, maybe,” he huffs, making you giggle lightly. and then he smiles, bringing you into a gentle hug, “glad you’re back. missed you.”

“thanks,” you mumble, “i missed you too.”

“can i join the hug?” satoru whines from behind, “i was the real victim here!”

suguru is so babie. bestest friend ever.

[chris-hallelujah]

Begin Again | m.s.

Summary: A song fic to Begin Again by Taylor Swift.

Contains: mentions of past toxic relationships

Word Count: 537

A/N: Hi everyone! Here is a quick little blurb while I deal with some writer's block. All ideas are my own and I do not give permission for anyone to share this on another platform.

Link to my master list

Enjoy,

-Billie <3

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

I nervously arrived at the diner that Matt and I agreed to meet at for our first date. We had began chatting when he slid into my Instagram DMs a few weeks ago. Which transitioned into texting and back and forth SnapChats before we ended up here. My eyes scanned the tables until I locked eyes with him. He was early. As the distance closed between us he stood up to greet me. "Hey, glad you could make it!" he spoke enthusiastically as he pulled out my chair to let me sit down. A smile crept onto my lips as I recognized his chivalry. No one had ever done that for me before other than my own father. Matt radiated a sense of calmness. He was so at ease and content.

Minutes turned to hours as we shared stories and bits of information about ourselves. "...And then, boom my phone falls right into the storm drain!" I spoke giggling as I finished my story. The story was a bit embarrassing, but funny in hindsight. Matt threw his head back in laughter.

"Into the drain? Like in the middle of the street?" He spoke through laughs as I nodded. I could not believe how much of a good time we were having. My mind flashed back to that moment seeing the annoyed look on my ex-boyfriend's face as my phone fell. He was not amused at all at the situation even though I was determined to laugh it off. He never seemed to see the bright side or joy of things. I felt my body relaxing as puzzle pieces seemed to fall into place. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all?

"Well, we should probably get outta here, huh?" he said looking behind me. I turned my head over my shoulder to see the workers trying to clean up to get the diner closed. I looked at the time on my phone. 8:45 p.m. I nodded grabbing my things and standing up. I followed Matt out of the diner and we began walking down the street. I looped my arm through his as the cool fall air sent a shiver down my spine. "Ya know, fall is my favorite season," Matt smiled, his eyes twinkling with excitement seeing all of the Halloween decorations. I smiled looking up at him, his happiness radiated through the downtown streets.

"I love the winter holidays," I added. He nodded, looking at me as I spoke. "My mom and I always put the tree up a week before and make Christmas cookies," I spoke, looking into his eyes. He listened intently, genuinely interested in what I was saying. No one had ever listened to me so deeply before. No guy had ever made me feel like what I was saying was important.

"That seems sweet," he smiled, "my brothers and I like watching Christmas movies the night before. We've done that since we were kids." My mind imagined seeing Matt, Nick, and Chris as kids watching Christmas movies and a wide grin spread across my face. This whole night had gone so well and finally, I began to wonder if maybe love wasn't horrible after all. I watched it begin again.

[oatmealmika]

What Are They Like On Social Media (Headcanons)?

feat. luffy, zoro, nami, sanji, usopp, robin, franky, and brook

requests open for other things like this!

Luffy

nami made him make an Instagram account and he did so... BUT NOT WITHOUT DOWNLOADING 8 VIRUSES THE MOMENT HE GOT ONTO IT

he started clinking on every ad he saw, of course, and now he's got to pay 100000 dollars by the end of the month or else world government will find him.

he took that as a challenge.

basic, but his username is kingofthepirates or strawhat69 or something

maybe even a pun or some shit bro

follows anybody he even slightly likes and comments dumb shit on all of their posts.

ex; luffy commenting on a post robin made w chopper "can you ask him if reindeers are real?"

takes weird angled photos of his friends and posts them (ex. forehead shots)

Zoro

username is bestswordsmanofficial

usually posts training videos, but also sometimes puts on his story a cry for help to his friends cuz he got lost again

also not the most tech savy guy

i get vibes he would straight up record himself coughing to death and post it

he went viral once, actually.

was dragged by nami to be a backup dancer for one of her tiktoks

stiffly dancing

on snapchat, he uses weird filters like the broccoli one and just sent it to everyone he knew.

Nami

username is nami.venmo.me

probably makes scams in order to get money

she has two accounts; a scamming account and a real account (both under similar usernames actually)

on snapchat, she and usopp have a 200+ snapscore

they both contemplated jumping ship when they messed it up..

matching pfps with usopp too! ex.;

nami is cookie monster, usopp is screaming man

Sanji

username is lovecook_sanji

other than posting the food he makes, he also posts aesthetic photos of him crying💀

ALSO posts photos of baths with rose petals that he only made cuz he wanted to be desperate in the caption like "such a beautiful place... i just wish that... someone could share it with me... :("

out here posting "i wish i was beautiful :(" posts for attention and zoro out here commenting back "i wish you were too💀"

blocked zoro after that

tags ONLY nami and robin in his posts whenever he posts the group

"the rest of them are just some guys 🙄"

Usopp

username is god..usopp

also is in charge of the strawhat official social media accounts

nami makes the aesthetically pleasing posts while usopp posts the funny hahas

like that time luffy slipped off ship with his mouth full of food (and bcuz he can't swim w his devil fruit) so he almost sank to the bottom

plugs his personal acc on the strawhat official acc too much

luffy used to be the manager of the account but that acc got banned...

so usopp was given the job to make a new one and manage it (no luffy you can't write the caption)

Robin

username is nico.robin

mostly posts about the books she's been reading, such as reviews

formats them nice and neatly

all her posts are very aesthetically pleasing

besides book reviews, she posts a lot of chopper

she's like a mom in that way making her kids pose for photos and takes photos as much as possible

overall very pretty account

Franky

username is franky_da_cyborg

when not posting inventions, he posts crewmates doing random things

doesn't have to be weird at all most of the posts are just straight up usopp making a sandwich or robin reading

all posts are very low quality tho lol

Brook

username is musician-brook

obv posts him playing music but also posts himself saying terrible dad jokes

"singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. then it's a soap opera."

he got the phone confiscated for that one

apart of nami's backup dancers for her tiktoks

actually works it

go grandpa go!

all right reserved. do not repost or copy my work but relogging, comments or feedback is very much appreciated! Thank you.

[sweetbillwriting]

In The Dead of Night

FOUR

Characters: AU Eric played by Bill Skarsgård from The Crow (2024)

Setting: This story is set in A WHOLE OTHER WORLD than the movie. Shelley isn't a part of this story. Eric will be different from the movie, especially because I haven't seen the movie.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

I didn't ask for permission to take Simone's phone, but I took it harshly from her hand and looked closely at the Snapchat story. It really was Eric, dressed in a big gray t-shirt and with sweaty hair and face. I started it over when it ended just to look at him over and over inhale from the joint. I didn't notice Simone and Angelica looking at me strangely where I sat between them, breathing faster and faster.

“Do you know him?” Asked Simone in irritated confusion.

“No… But his brother is my best friend…” I said lowly and continued to look at Eric. I recognized every tattoo on his hands and arms, and his eyes looked sad, like they did when he was lost in thoughts.

“Robin?” Asked Angelica, surprised. She had met him a few times, but he acted just as polite and nice as usual. That he would have a brother like Eric probably shocked her just as much as others.

“Yeah…” I didn't have more to say than that because I was busy looking at Eric over and over.

“So he has lied to you? And said he's dead? I didn't think he hated him so much,” said Simone with a scoff. I looked up at her, and she took her phone back.

“Hate him?”

“Robin has always hated Eric, and I understand him. Eric is an egotistical, manipulative addict.”

I couldn't stop myself from being offended on his behalf and gave her an angry look.

“You're his ex! Of course you think that!” I stood up in protest, and she laughed unamused and looked down at her nails with an unreadable face.

“Yes. Yeah, because I saw him take morphine, tramadol, and heroin until he couldn't do anything other than lie in a pile on the floor. You didn't see your boyfriend piss himself on the subway. You don't even fucking know him!” She looked up at me with shiny eyes and furrowed brows. My heart beated hard in my chest. I could see the inner context behind the pictures of Eric she took. She had a picture of him on the subway. It looked like he slept with his mouth open, but maybe he was deep in his intoxication. She was his ex, but I loved him. I turned on my heel and ran out of the club. My head and heart beated with the music, and my stomach twisted like the people on the dance floor, and when I exited the club, I puked up every mojito I had been drinking that night. Bent over with my short dress riding up, I cried loudly. People probably just thought I was drunk, and after some minutes of my panicked cry, a nice guard stopped a taxi for me.

I calmed down in the taxi by the soft movement but thought about Eric's face in the Snapchat. He was alive. I could see him again.

I didn't even think about how Angelica hadn't run after me or that she didn't even send a message. I just opened up Snapchat and added “JickJackRoo42” as a friend.

×××

Robin had lied to me, but even worse, he, or Eric, had lied to Lotti. She missed Eric every day like someone had turned off the sun. I couldn't see a reason to do it and wondered what I missed. Everything was confusing, and I wondered how my dreams came into all of this. I had already decided that they weren’t just dreams, but then I found out. Eric had never been dead, and then suddenly my dreams were completely unbelievable.

The day after meeting Simone went to just think about the mess, ignoring Angelica's phone calls and looking at Snapchat after JickJack’s acception. I needed to meet Eric and see if he was the same amazing guy that he had been in my dreams. Simone had nothing good to say about him, and maybe I had believed his mother’s words a bit too much.

That day it was also time for Odin to come to me, and I knew Robin would leave him at 2 pm. We had the same routine every week. I didn't know what I felt about meeting Robin; the lie was so big, but I also wanted answers. Maybe there was a good explanation but I doubted it.

As always, he unlocked my door by himself, and I could hear him try to make Odin sit by the door, but he refused. He continued to try and try with a more irritated voice every time. Odin's whine and Robin's irritated voice stressed me and made me just more nervous at the thought of talking with Robin about Eric.

I walked out to the hallway with crossed arms, still in my pajamas.

“Let him be; he won't sit. You know it too,” I said with a tired voice and sighed. Robin looked up at me, irritated. He was as perfectly styled as usual, in a pink button-down and white jeans.

“Fine, fine. Maybe we should give up completely? That would look good!”

I looked at him and felt some sort of rebellion. He with his stupid facade. I tried to calm down taking a deep breath but instead the frog in my throat took a moment to jump out of my mouth.

“You lied to me. You lie to Lotti. Eric isn't dead!”

Robin looked at me with raised brows and released the leash, so the dog jumped around my legs. He crossed his arms and smiled in irritation.

“That doesn't concern you!” He said it angrily with a raised voice.

“It does when you lie about such a thing to me!”

He rolled his eyes at me.

“Me and Eric made that decision together for mom's best interest. He has his problems and needs to work on them.”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“His ex said you hate him.”

Robin looked at me confused but then gave me a strained smile when he realized who I've been talking to.

“He's a junkie. Yeah, I have some mixed feelings for him. It's not like it didn't affect others. I've seen my parents cry their eyes out because of him, and he just wanted money. You know, he came high to mom's Christmas party. It was a big thing for her; she had it every 22nd, and he came so fucking high he couldn't even stand up!”

I swallowed hard because I wanted to defend Eric, even if it didn't sound good at all.

“But your mom didn't care what others thought! She loved him more than anything!”

Robin paused and looked away, then laughed unamused.

“I know. That's why he even succeeded in getting her to meet his dealer because he withdrew and couldn't by himself. He forced her to meet criminals because he's a disgusting fuck that has been a parasite on my parents his whole life!”

Robin screamed the last part, and it stressed both me and Odin, but he was the only one of us that started to bark. Robin sighed and dragged a hand through his perfectly styled hair that continued to be just as perfect anyway.

“He and I made this decision together, and it's the best for my mom. He's dead, and he will continue to be,” he said before he turned around and walked out and left me and Odin with our hearts in our throats.

×××

It was too much to think about, and the only thing I wanted to do was sleep. Not to meet Eric, because I knew now he was just as alive as me. I sounded out loudly in frustration while crawling down under the cover and then motioned with my hand to Odin that he was welcome to lay next to me. He jumped up, pleased because he knew a nap meant a long walk after it.

I took a last look on my phone and saw a message from Angelica. I saw the first seven words in the notification banner:

I'm sorry, but you must understand that…

I wasn't interested in reading her excuses and was too tired and confused to even take the time to write that I didn't want to see her again. I just put the phone on my nightstand and closed my eyes. I would have probably felt different if I knew a guy named Jack had accepted my friend request just ten minutes after I'd fallen asleep. I didn't notice it until I woke up an hour later, but then I also had a chat message from him. I looked at the notice with a bit of panic. If I opened it, he would see I had looked at it, and I must answer quite fast to not seem weird. What did I want from him? I just knew I wanted to come close to Eric, but I couldn't write that to him. Lies, lies, lies. I needed lies. I opened the chat when I felt I had some lies neatly organized in my head.

Jack: Who are you?

Della: Hey, we met at a party once, and I wonder if you have Eric's address?

Jack: Eric's? Yeah sure. Do you want to buy?

I looked at my screen and sighed. Fuck, he really was selling drugs.

Della: I just want to know where he lives. Or have his number.

Jack: Haha ok. You girls…

He gave me both Eric's number and his address, just like that, without knowing who I was at all, but I guess it was different when a girl wanted that information about a guy than the other way around, and it wasn't like many were a threat to Eric when he looked like that. I smiled to myself and felt heat in my cheeks when I thought about his height and muscles. I didn't just miss Eric as a person but also his amazing body, and now I knew where he lived. He lived in the same town as my oldest sister, Demi. It was a bigger town, but my sister lived in a well-trimmed suburb. It wasn't that far away, a two-hour car ride. It would be so easy going there; I could do it tomorrow if I wanted to. Just borrow one of mom and dad's cars and… Go there.

×××

My parents never asked so many questions anymore. I was a grownup who hadn't done anything stupid in many years and had a responsible life, so when I wanted to borrow the car for a time, they didn't ask what I would do, not even when I didn't say for how many days I would have it. My dad just joked that I must pay for the gas by myself and that they wanted me for dinner soon.

Odin had traveled long distances in cars before and didn't fuss just as long as I stopped so he could pee and drink some water. He was an energetic, irritating dog quite often, but he didn't really have problems when he knew he must focus. It was like he could see the difference between different situations and when he needed to be calm.

In the car, I listened to the music me and Eric listened to together. For a few seconds, I even had the thought of listening to his Spotify account, but that felt a bit too much like stalking. It was weird that it felt like stalking, but not the fact that I was in his town. How I could fool myself that it was worse to listen to his Spotify than park outside his apartment building was a mystery.

I walked Odin on the street with a beating heart. Eric may be right there, and I would see him for real. I wondered how I would react to seeing him. It felt like I would probably cry. I had a bit of PMS, and usually that made me tear up easily.

Odin found a big pile of autumn leaves where he started to play around, and while he did that, I looked around the street. It was a rough neighborhood, and I would probably not dare sit in my car alone there at night. There was graffiti on the buildings, and the people walking by had a tough attitude I wasn't used to in my town. They didn't seem to see a reason to move away for someone else and talked loudly to not be drowned out by the cars driving by. I didn't belong there; even if I had traveled and seen much of the world, I could feel I didn't belong. I wasn't afraid or uncomfortable; I just had learned to know where I could flourish, and this wasn't it.

When the wind started to blow coldly, I began to freeze in my trenchcoat and moved to the car again, to Odin's disappointment. He would probably be pleased smelling pee and playing with orange leaves the whole day, but I needed warmth and soon a coffee to have the energy to wait on Eric.

It turned out I needed more than a coffee to be able to wait on Eric because he didn't show himself before three o'clock, but when he did, he really made an entrance into my life. He threw the door to the building open and walked out like he owned it, or like the street was his runway. He looked just like he did in my dreams. Tall and threatening but with a sad disposition.

He stopped after walking a few long steps to light a cigarette, then he continued to walk towards my car. My heart beated harder and harder in my chest for every step he took. Odin whined in the back and startled me when he suddenly made an excited bark. Eric turned his gaze to the car but couldn't see anything because of the tinted windows, but I got a moment to look straight at his face. He was so beautiful with his green mesmerizing eyes and plump lips. Even if he had small tattoos spread out in his face, he looked like artwork.

He took a drag from his cigarette but then turned his eyes forward again and walked by my car and out of my vision. I heard myself make a pained sound and pressed my hands against my eyes, even if I had worked long and hard to get my eyeliner perfect. I couldn't understand why I did this. Either I should just make contact with him or leave him alone; stalking was not an answer; it would just lead to insanity.

Even if I hadn’t thought such wise thoughts, I took long walks around his neighborhood with Odin and stared at everything that must be his everyday life. Just a block away was a gym, and I pictured him working out his toned body there. In the same building was a grocery store. He had said he loved meat and didn't eat much carbs. He cared about his diet, and I wondered if that place had what he needed. I stood and looked at a sign for tenderloin when Odin started to pull on the leash. I sighed, irritated, and pulled back on the leash, but he didn't stop pulling.

“Hey, hey, buddy,” said a voice I recognized and made my stomach and throat knot together. I followed the voice and saw Eric in his long coat making Odin sit in front of him with just a snap with his fingers. Literally, he pointed towards the ground and snapped with his fingers and made the dog sit down and look at him expectantly. Eric smirked a little and shook his head, like Odin's behavior was just silly.

“Cute dog,” said Eric kindly with a shy smile towards me, then backed off like he had done something wrong. I looked at him with big eyes without succeeding to get a word out until he had walked two steps back.

“Thank, thank you,” I stuttered and cringed because of my own awkwardness. He looked back at me with a small smile and then brightened up as he walked towards me with his hand in his pocket. In the other hand, he had a package of eggs I just noticed. When he came up, he pulled out his hand to give me a small piece of paper with a picture of a neon sign; “The Pulse.” Under it was a text: “Failed Human Experiments” and the date for that Saturday.

I looked at him confused, and he looked at me once unsure.

“Ehm, if you want to experience some sick DJ’s,” he said with a shoulder shrug.

“Oh, oh, it's, it's you?”

I felt my cheeks heat.

“No, no. Some friends. But yeah. You can come, if you want.” He shrugged again and then walked away so fast I didn't even have time to give him a goodbye. If I hadn't met him before, I would have thought he was weird and maybe thought some prejudiced things about his looks, but I knew he had a shy side, and it probably didn't come natural to him to talk with someone unknown like that. He was probably also used to people having prejudices about him, some of them even true.

I looked at his broad back covered in the black coat while Odin whined by my feet. I hurried back to the car to be alone again and be able to let Odin sit by himself in the back so I didn't need to think about him. Then I leaned my forehead to the steering wheel and cried. It was really Eric. Kind, sweet, dangerous Eric. My Eric.

I looked at the paper, damp from my sweaty hand. Saturday. The Pulse. He must be there.

×××

“So a guy?” Asked my oldest sister, Demi, while looking at me doing my eyeliner in front of the bathroom mirror. She sat on the edge of the bathtub while her oldest daughter, Lina, sat on the toilet lid. I didn't really appreciate an audience while doing my makeup, but they had been nice enough to give me a bed when I had asked to sleep there to go out on a date. A date, that was what I called it. I said the same thing to Robin after having left Odin with him in an awkward manner.

“Yeah, I met him on Tinder.” I lied and tried to fix the wing on my left eye.

“What's his name?” Asked my sister’s daughter curiously with a giggle.

“Eric…” I said with a small smile and searched after my powder in my makeup bag.

“You're blushing!” Teased Demi with a giggle. I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop smiling. I was such a lost case.

“He's just really sweet.”

“Can I see his pictures?”

I stopped searching in my makeup bag to just imagine her reaction to Eric's appearance. Her husband was a teacher and looked like the stereotypical math teacher in outdated glasses and dad bod.

“I want to meet him first before sharing that. Maybe you know him or something.”

I didn't believe my sister knew him, but I needed an excuse, and on top of that, I didn't even have any pictures of Eric on my phone.

“Yeah okay. But be careful, and if he seems weird in any way, just leave.”

I smiled a little; her “big sister warning” was cute.

“I promise.”

×××

The club was not far from where Eric lived and didn't look like much to the world from the outside; it was just the same neon sign as on the paper but a long line with people, alongside the building, waiting to get in. It calmed me to see, but it also scared me because many of them had a similar look as Eric, but of course not his looks.

I had never gone to a club by myself before and probably looked like I didn't belong there. Not so much because of my appearance because there were other not so expressive people also standing in line, but I probably looked quite terrified, so a girl with blue hair felt some sort of need to take care of me until we came in, and then it was me who said goodbye because I had a mission.

“One mojito, please, with extra mint!” I shouted to the bartender with a shaved tattooed skull. He gave me a nod, and while he mixed, I looked around in the club.

It looked quite rundown, with scribbles and posters falling apart from the walls, but I understood it was a part of the look they were going for. They wanted a punky aura even if they played techno and other electronic genres.

When I'd paid for my drink, I walked around and looked at people dancing hysterically, chatting up by the walls, or pushing to get some air in the small alley outside. It was a cool place, but my friends, like the girls in the salon who were much more uptight than me, would have complained about the smell of weed and the dirty toilets. Robin would have refused to even go in.

After my second turn, I had drunk up my drink and walked to the bar to get a new one. It was crowded with people around it, and the bald guy and a guy with long hair worked as fast as they could. Or almost as fast as they could because both of them sometimes took a small break to talk to a guy by the bar closest to the wall. He had been so annoying and took a high chair to sit by the bar even if there were signs that chairs by the bar weren't allowed. I looked at the bald guy throwing a can of Coke towards the guy on the chair, and I saw a big tattooed hand catch it easily. “PARA”. It read on his knuckles, and I knew “DISE” was written on the other hand. Eric. I sighed at my own bodily reactions when I saw him completely. He wore an acid patterned t-shirt in a khaki color, had his little dagger dangling from his earlobe, and black smudged eyeliner. He laughed at the bald guy and opened his can so he could mix it with his glass of whiskey.

“One mojito, please. With extra mint,” I said distractedly to the bald guy as I continuously glanced over at Eric. I didn't mean to, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to see his every movement.

“Sure.”

If I had looked at the bartender, I would have seen him smirk at me by my obvious fascination for his friend, but I didn't notice, I just noticed Eric looking around a bit bored and drinking his whisky cola a bit too fast.

“Do you want your drink?” Asked the bartender with humor, and I looked at him confused, then down at the mojito in front of me.

“Oh, sorry…”

I grabbed my card but looked towards Eric again. I paid with fumbling fingers and then dropped the card on the ground. I groaned loudly to myself; I was just too embarrassing. When I came up from the floor again, I met the bartender’s eyes. 

“Is it Eric you’re looking at?” He nodded towards him where he sat, playing with his cigarette pack. “Sorry to say, but… He's not interested.” 

I furrowed my brows in confusion. The bartender licked his lips and looked towards Eric, then leaned closer to me like he would tell me a secret. 

“He has a broken heart.” 

I looked at the bartender, and my eyes probably looked sad because he nodded like he felt the same thing.

“But I get you. He's a handsome dude, and you're not the first one to try.” 

I continued to just look at him with big eyes. I was disappointed, fascinated, and worried for Eric. A broken heart. I turned my eyes towards Eric again, who had stood up with a cigarette between his lips. He walked by me on his way out, and I tried to catch his eyes. I would almost throw myself at him to just get some attention, but his gaze was high, like he looked over everyone else from his high height. I could see girls looking at him with big eyes, but he didn't acknowledge anyone, even if some of them were hot in the same way as his ex. He just wanted a smoke. 

××× 

While the DJs played, I just looked dreamily towards Eric, trying to get him to look back at me, but he acted like I didn't exist. He still sat by the bar, so I stayed there too. I saw him look towards me a couple of times but lowered his gaze at once. I had thought we would have the same chemistry as in my dreams, but in real life Eric wasn't at all as easy to come close to. In a way, it was understandable. We weren't alone here, and we didn't make the rules. 

The bartender, Nick, gave me an empathetic look, and when Eric walked away to the restroom, he looked at me with a shrug. 

“He's shy too. He isn't that fond of attention, not even from pretty girls, like you.”

I smiled a little pained and looked away, trying to pretend I didn't care so much, even if I did. 

When the clock was 01.00 AM, I started to give up, and maybe Nick noticed that because suddenly he shouted towards me. 

“The gang is going to Jacks; a dude living across the street, do you want to join? Eric can take care of you!” 

I looked at Nick surprised, then at Eric, who had a similar look, but it shifted towards numbness. I really didn't think he would be so socially awkward. 

“Sure, okay,” I said and smiled at Nick and then at Eric, who gave me a big-eyed look. That pretty, weird boy. 

“Nick!” Shouted Eric and leaned over the bar; he said something to him, then he got his coat that was laying under the bar counter. He turned to me, and with long but slow steps, he walked up to me. 

“Eh, I'm going to Jacks now; I need a quieter place, but you can come with me if you want?” He looked between me and the door, which made him seem insecure and stressed. I wanted to calm him down in some way, even more when I realized he couldn't really stand still. For a moment I wondered if he had taken something that made him act like he did, but it didn't look like it. 

“Sure, okay. I must get my jacket in the wardrobe.” 

“Sure, cool, I’ll wait outside.” 

He pointed to the door and then walked away. He didn't need to think about pushing forward because people moved away from him like he was death himself. Big and black and frightening. I walked to the wardrobe, pushing my way forward without seeing where I really was going because of all the people in the way, but for once I didn't become irritated. My body was full of raspberry red, sugary syrup, and humming like hummingbirds. I took my trench coat and then met Eric. I didn't feel nervous anymore, the determination and joy had taken over, and now I was just focused on getting to know him. Again? 

He stood a bit away from the entrance, smoking a cigarette with his other hand stuffed in the front pocket of his black cargo pants. The wind played with his long coat. I had thought it would be just me to walk up to him and then leave, but in front of him stood two girls. They must have been in their early twenties and giggled hysterically. Eric looked as detached as he had done before and even yawned while the girls in front of him jabbed on. When he lifted his eyes and saw me, he actually looked relieved. 

“Ready to go?” He said loudly to me, so I could hear him where I was. The girls turned around to see me and looked at me up and down. 

“Yeah!” I said with a bright smile and walked up to him, who just gave the girls a nod as a goodbye and then started to walk. 

“Ehm, I'm Eric, by the way,” he said and looked at me quickly. 

“I'm Della, or Delilah, but everyone says Della.” 

Now he turned to me for real and slowed down his steps. He smiled kindly, and it made the raspberry-red syrup boil in my blood. 

“I like Delilah. It's a nice name. Ehm, do you know Nick?” 

“No… Eh, I just think he thought I looked lonely. I'm here visiting, so I don't have any friends here.” 

He nodded a little and took a drag of his cigarette. 

“You're quite brave… I don't want to; it sounds off, but I mean, you're here alone with a dude looking like me. I really don't mean I'm that sort of guy when I say that I just know that-” 

I giggled at his rambling, and when he looked at me, I gave him a warm smile. 

“I get it; I get what you mean, but... You look really kind,” I said honestly. Eric looked at me with big eyes but then down in the ground with a little smile. He dropped his cigarette and stomped on it casually. 

“Ehm, Jack lives on the corner, on the left side. He's quite weird though, just so you know, but there isn't anything malicious in him. He was just dropped as a child or something.” 

I laughed a little, and Eric gave me a shy smile as an answer. I looked down at his hand that hung between us. It looked like it craved a smaller hand to hold, but I would never dare to do that, not to a guy like Eric who didn't give any flirtatious vibes at all. 

“I don't know if you remember, but you gave me the leaflet about this night? The DJs? It was outside of this store-” 

Eric looked first confused, then a light went up. 

“Yeah! You had that dog. He was nice,” he said with a small smile. I wanted to say that Odin adored him, but I didn't say anything; I just smiled back. 

We went up to the second floor where Jack lived, and Eric knocked on the door. A short guy with a bleached buzz cut and as many tattoos as Eric, let us in and looked at me up and down. 

“Shit. The fuck man, you always get the best ass,” he said, hitting Eric's chest. 

“Don't say shit like that. Be nice, Jackie,” said Eric and laid a friendly hand on his shoulder. 

“Sorry, my lady. What's your name, pretty?” He asked and helped me take off my coat while Eric took off his. I had already come up with how to explain my interaction with him on Snapchat, but it wasn't needed because Jack didn't react to my name. He gave Eric a brotherly hug and asked him if he wanted a blunt. 

“Yeah,” he answered shortly and gave me a look. I hadn't smoked since my European trip and knew I could get quite embarrassing from it. I didn't seem to need much to think I was a great philosopher. 

I looked around in the apartment with a beer in my hand, even if Jack had just given me the bottle and not permission to walk around, it felt like he would be chill with it. There wasn't much to see though. It was more or less just a bed, a couch, and a TV. Over the bed hung a poster with a marijuana leaf, and behind the couch was a mandala tapestry in blue tones. 

“Do you want one, babe?” Jack asked me. At first I didn't react because of the nickname, but when I saw his questioning look, I just shook my head. Eric gave me a fast look before sitting down in the corner of the couch closest to Jack's phone that was connected to the speakers in the corner. There was some trance-like ska playing, but Eric changed it to Sonic Youth’s Kool Thing and leaned back with a sigh. 

“So what are you doing here, pretty? I'm not complaining, not at all, it’s just that Eric isn't really the kind of guy to bring a girl over,” said Jack and sat down in the middle of the couch. My option was to either sit next to him or sit down on the floor, so I sat down on the floor, even if my denim skirt was a bit too tight for it. 

“I got invited by Nick.” 

“Oh, okay… So you're like, ‘with him’?” 

“No.” I smiled a little amused at him because it was obvious what he wanted with this. I gave Eric a look, and he smirked at me. I felt my cheeks warm, but I needed to stay in that moment, not in my dreams or what I wanted to happen. 

“Oh… Where do you live? You can take my bed if you want to. I can take the couch. Aren’t I a gentleman?” 

I laughed. 

“Yeah, Jackie, you seem to be such a gentleman.” 

Me and Eric gave each other a look again, and Jackie gave him a sour look. 

“Don't steal the bitch now!” 

“Jackie! We don't say shit like that!” Eric said, taking a pre-rolled joint, and putting it between his lips. 

“Yeah, yeah, but you, fucking close your eyes and let the grownups talk now!” 

I laughed at the banter and leaned back on my hands. Jackie turned his eyes to me again and scanned my body up and down with bloodshot eyes. 

“So my bed?” 

I shook my head with a smile, looked at Eric again, and stood up. 

“Can I sit next to you? I don't trust that dude,” I said to him and looked at the little space next to him. “The floor got uncomfortable quite fast.”

Eric looked at the little space then moved closer to Jackie, who scoffed and moved in the same direction. I gave Eric a smile and sat down next to him. It was a bit cramped, and to my surprise, he took my legs and laid them in his lap so he could spread out his legs again. He dragged a finger over my black tights but seemed to correct himself and pulled it away fast. He was a good boy.

××× 

“I think it looks better on you!” He said it with a wide smile while looking down on my phone. I showed him a picture of me with bright red hair after he had shown a picture of himself in a bright red short hairstyle. 

“My eyes don't look bright like yours does. Red with your green eyes is magnetic!”

We sat in the same position but in some way closer to each other. It was him who probably scooted closer, so my bum rested against the outside of his thigh. Maybe it was the weed that made him relax because he also had his big, tattooed hand on my shin.

“I had a bit of red here too.” He showed me a picture of him at 20 or something with a high mohawk in black and red. The tattoos on his head were more visible. 

“Oh my god! Did you wear it like that every day?” 

“No, I was forced to put it in a bun and instead got accused of having a 'man bun’.”

We had started to talk about our professions, like you often do with a new person, and he told me about his work as a janitor while I told him about my hair stylist job. Then it floated on to all the weird hairstyles we've had. He thought my job was much more interesting than his, and it was sweet how he could talk about hairstyles he wanted to have and hairstyles he liked on girls. The only thing he shared about his own work was that he worked as a night janitor for several buildings and companies and did everything from fixing the electricity to saving a cat from a ventilation system. 

Nick had joined us from work, and he and Jackie sat and talked with each other, but he looked amused at me and Eric sometimes. I felt some sort of pride that I had made Eric relax but also felt a disappointment sneaking up behind me. It was obvious Nick thought we were flirting, but Eric wasn't flirty; he was just friendly. He was kind and sweet in the same way you’d treat the elderly.

“I think I must go soon; I need some hours of sleep and workout before I go to work," he said while looking at his phone, showing 03:38. 

“Oh,” I said disappointedly and moved my legs from his lap. “When do you start to work?”

“5 pm, I have the first night shift today.” 

Eric stood up and walked out to the hallway, and I followed him to his surprise. 

“So, where do you live when you're here in town?” 

I told him the name of the suburb my sister lived in, and he looked up at me with big eyes after he put on his black vans. 

“That's quite far away… How do you—I hope you don't take the subway all by yourself?” He said it with sincere worry and put on his coat. 

“It's okay.” I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. I had taken the subway alone in New York, Paris, and other metropolitan areas. He stood a while and looked at me while playing with his keys and the cigarette pack in the pocket of his coat. I continued to smile and leaned against the doorframe to the living room. I would go when he had said goodbye. 

“Ehm… I live just around the corner; do you want to borrow my couch? I don't like the thought of you traveling by yourself. I promise, no funny business; I just want to know that you're okay.” 

I looked at him, my cheeks were probably red. I cleared my throat and laughed at my own beating heart. 

“It would be super kind of you, Eric,” I said and dared to move closer to him. I had a stupid idea about kissing him. He smiled but moved back to the door, like he knew and rejected my idea. 

×

[jj-maybanks-daughter]

Jj x daughter

She gets home from having a fight and she tries to hide it but the pogues notice but she tries to hide it so she goes to her room and jj comes and she cracks in cried in his arms and he soothes her

Fight

It had been a rough week. Y/ns boyfriend, tristen having an ex made it worse.

Her name was Kat with a K y/n always made fun of the k in her head but never outloud. They didn't really have issues. At least y/n didn't

At the party

"so, y/n, what's it like being a home wrecker?" Kat came up behind her and put her hand on her back while y/n was talking to her froends.

"what?" She asked turning around

"you heard me, bitch" Kat yelled, getting attention from the people around her

"you see, the music's really loud and I wasn't talking to you. I did not hear you" y/n said leaning to one hip and putting a hanf on the other

"your a home wrecker." Kat yelled

"I'm sorry you feel that way, but you broke up with him and I got with him after. Something is not adding up"

Kat lunged to y/n and y/n just step to the side and gave her a staredown . then out of no where she got a fist to the face.

"your gonna regret doing that, sweetheart"

Y/n punched Kat back but harder, sending her go the ground. She normally wouldn't do that, but the beer had already gotten to her head. She shook her fist (like John b did when he punched topper) and walked away.

"get outta here!" One of the girls yelled from the house

Y/n flipped them off and walked home. She had a bruise on her eye, bruised knuckels and a cut on her lip. She didn't want to tell her dad about the fight so she was just gonna go to her room.

"hi dad, I'm home" she yelled to him. The lights were off so she was in the clear.

She scurried up to her room and sit's half way shut the door to get some makeup on the bruises.

"hey y/n" pope said as he walked by her room.

"why are you doing makeup, it 10 pm" jj laughed.

"I don't know I just felt like it" she smiled

"can I help" Sarah practically begged. She always helped y/n with makeup

"no."

"come on kid, let your aunt do it" Jj said in the doorway

"what's that?" Followed after. He walked into her room and she turned her face away.

"nothing, go away" she said walking to her bed

"there's something on your lip, let me get it" he sakd reaching for her face and pulling it towards him. He squinted his eyes at the makeup and lip. "What the he'll happened" he asked

"Kat." She cried

"come here, its alright" he said hugging her and putting his ead on hers.

"she said I was a home wrecker when she broke up with him that doesn't make any sense"

"I hope you didn't punch her first" he said taking a look at her eye

"I didnt" she said n looking down

Sarah had gotten a Snapchat notification and opened it.

They heard her gasp and they turned around to see.

"what's wrong " y/n sniffeled.

"damn you got her good" Sarah chuckled, turning the phone around

"fuck" y/n mumbked . that was the last thing she wanted. They got everything on camera.

People made edits of i, and she had to admit, they made her look pretty cool, but she didn't want it to be a big thinf.

"that'll show Kat with a K to mess with my daughtee " Jj said giving g her a high five.

She looked down and smiled. She got a notification from tristen. She held her breath as she opened ut.

Tristen <3

Thanks for beating her

Ass. I love you <3

She let out a sigh. It was all gonna be ok.

[sunnyie-eve]

8 | Tag Along

Series: Significant

Paring: Colby Brock x Original female character

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.6k

| MASTERLIST |

~

Elton, Corey, Sam, and Colby were going on a trip this week and originally Penelope was going to stay at home alone but the four surprised her saying she gets to go too. Mainly it was because Sam and Colby asked Elton if she could go because since she broke up with Darwin, he keeps going by their place banging on the door before running off.

Corey had no problem with her going since he found her nice to have around. She was the youngest but she always made sure everyone was okay. She basically was a mom to them and she saw her like a little sister. So Elton agreed that she could go with them, but deep down Penelope felt like she was intruding on them.

She really felt like it for the place they were staying at. Elton and Corey shared a bed, and Sam and Colby shared a bed. So Penelope would end up having g to share the bed with Sam and Colby. They didn't care whatsoever even though the bed was just for two people.

At that moment Penelope sat and watched the four act like they were making an action trailer playing around with all the drones flying around. She had herself bundled up and curled up.

"I say that should win an Oscar." She joined them as they finished.

"Why thank you." Corey laughs freezing.

"You guys ready to go to an 80-foot underground sauna pool thinking?" Elton asks so they all say yes.

For the car ride, none of them wanted to get out when they arrived because it was so warm in the car. "Mine you, we only brought one towel." Sam speaks up.

"No, that's my towel and Peeps added hers too." Colby corrects them.

Inside Sam and Elton go to buy themselves towels while the other three wait for them, "Has your ex tried contacting you?" Corey asks Penelope.

"I blocked him on everything but he still tries to stalk my socials. It's whatever. When we get back and he still comes by the apartment we're calling the police on him." She explains to him.

"He never gives up. I had to block him myself." Colby bitches as the two come back so they head out to the sauna.

The only thing Penelope hated was they had to wear life jackets because they made her feel like it was choking her.

"I need my buddy." Colby swims towards Penelope.

"No, leave me alone." She swims away from him and pushes the other guys into his path.

She relaxes by herself for a bit till Elton calls her, "Penny, Colby's dead." He laughs so she looks over to see him face down in the water.

"I'll save him." She plays along and runs him right-side up.

"Now, give him mouth to mouth." He tells her.

"For one, you're not supposed to do that just chest compressions." She points out then tickles Colby making him move.

"I hate you. You know I hate that!" He does it back to her making her squeal.

After some time they get out to dry off and wrap their towels around them while Corey asks about his towel. "It's negative 40 degrees outside and no one and no one told me to get a towel." He looks at them but then gets a towel from a stranger.

Outside a fan notices the guys and they chat for a while before four out of five get in the car cold and hungry. "No of guy guys want to touch the horse?" Elton asks. "I'm gonna go touch the horse. I'm gonna go play with the horse." He closes the driver's side door so Penelope gets out going across Sam.

"Penny!"

"I change my mind!" She rushes after him, "I wanna touch them!" She giggles taking a bit of hay to give to the horse and it eats it as she pets it with Elton.

"You a horse girl?" He asks making her laugh.

"No, but I love animals. Okay, we can go back now." She runs back to the car and he follows. They let Penelope back in the car but not Elton.

They also end up at a bowling alley to eat and after some time two more fans show up because they saw their Snapchat at where they were.

"I say we put a wager on the line here. Whoever does the best gets a bed to themselves tonight. Whoever's the worst sleeping on the floor." Elton says before they play a game.

"I mean deal but I feel like I should get a bed to myself because I sleep with two people already. Hell, maybe the floor will be better." Penelope finds a ball for herself.

In the first round, it came out to Elton, Sam, Penelope, Corey then Colby. Sam and Elton then decide to make a deal for more crap with bed-making. "I get both beds." Elton laughs, "And since I get both... Penelope gets the other bed to herself tonight."

"YES!" She cheers giving him a hug then happy dances.

"Have fun with no cuddles from us." Colby sticks his tongue out at her.

"I will admit it's so much warm in between the two of them but I also have no room so I don't care tonight."

Back at the hotel Elton and Penelope laugh at the three lying between the beds on the floor while they jump bed to bed over them.

"Alright, guys. That's it for today's video. I'm going to enjoy my bed and Penny is going to enjoy her bed tonight. Make sure to check out all of their channels." Elton ends the video.

"Do we seriously have to sleep on the floor?" Corey asks.

"Yes." Elton and Penelope say together.

"Fine." He pouts as she gets them a blanket for them.

"Enjoy y'all cuddles." She sends kisses to them jumping onto her bed.

~

Today everyone was going snowboarding and they all joked about falling on their faces the whole day. Penelope laughs as Colby, Sam, and Corey have trouble getting up off their butts.

"Why are you laughing? Let's see you get up." Sam crosses his arms so she pops up just fine.

"Have you done this before?" Elton asks.

"No, I just have balance." She giggles so Colby shoves her to fall and they both go down. "Asshat." She lays there annoyed.

"Need help now?" Elton chuckles.

"I got it." She groans getting up.

"I'm embarrassed how you're better at this than me." Colby says as they stay by each other.

"Not by much." She giggles, "I say on the big hill I'll be on my hands and knees more."

For the lift up Elton, Corey, and Sam rush to get on one but Colby stays back to sit with Penelope so she isn't alone. "Do you miss having the bed to yourself since we're back to sharing again?"

"No really. That night I kind of missed the extra warmth." She chuckles, "Kat texted me am I keeping Sam warm with my cuddles. She doesn't want him coming back purple and blue."

"Out of everyone, he would turn that color first." Colby agrees, "Do you still feel like a burden on this trip?"

"Not as much anymore but I still have my little moments where I do." She tells him truthfully, "But thank you and Sam for talking Elton and Corey into letting me come. I probably would be scared home alone with Darwin coming by. I'd be screwed if I did live alone and weren't friends with you."

"Luckily you have me and Sam." He nudges her as they join the other three.

They start to go and Penelope was the farthest before falling because Colby bumps into her so they both go down, "Colby." She whines as they both have trouble getting back up.

"I couldn't stop. I'm sorry." He gives up and just sits down.

The more they go down Corey has trouble so they just sit and lay around waiting for him. Penelope tells Sam about Kat texting her making him laugh while Colby listens to them as he keeps his eyes on Corey.

"I'm lucky I don't have a girl version of Darwin."

"Yeah, because girls are worse than guys when it comes to stuff like that. But she knows we are the definition of just friends." Penelope laughs sitting up from lying down.

"Have you ever had a tiny crush on Penelope when we were younger?" Colby looks back at them.

"7th grade for like two months but we hardly talked." Sam laughs, "What about you?" He gives him a look so Colby just rolls his eyes looking away.

After a long day and basically being the last ones in the mountain they head back to the bottom done for the day. Before going inside Elton says he's tired of sharing a bed with Corey so they play a game so he can sleep alone again like last time he won at bowling.

"Well, I'll know the outcome when you guys come in. I'm cold." Penelope heads to the room to get ready for bed.

When the guys came in everyone but Corey was in their underwear, "Elton won." Colby huffs.

"I'm not surprised." She says lying on the bed in her spot as they all get changed for bed too.

"I get this bed all to myself. And you guys get here. And apparently, we didn't specify that I get the bed to myself." Elton shows Corey lying at the foot of the other bed the three shared.

"They're going to let me sleep with them tonight. They're going to let me sleep in their bed tonight. Don't take that the wrong way." Corey laughs.

"How are four of us sharing a full-size bed?" Penelope looks at them.

"We all cuddle." Sam says so Corey leans back in her then the other two cuddle them.

"This is going to be hell." Penelope groans.

[patronsaintofteachercrushes]

9/3

Hi everyone, bet you didn’t expect to hear from me again, but here I am. My last year of high school starts tomorrow and I felt like coming back and saying some things. Some things that I realized and figured could maybe help some of you out there, things that I desperately wanted (needed) to hear when I had an active teacher crush.

This is a long one so please bear with me, I’m not sure any of it really makes any kind of sense. Sorry for any typos.

Firstly, my boyfriend actually broke up with me three days after I last posted. It took me a very long time to get over it, in fact I think I’m still dealing with it. But I wanted to come back and share my experience now that I finally had a taste of what I’d felt like I was missing out on.

Some context: I met my ex almost a whole year before we started dating. It was the 4th of July 2023, and I was still coming to terms with my friend's attachment to L and the fact that I did not have anyone to crush on. I went to the beach with some friends so we could be young and reckless and watch the fireworks and all that good American fun. And then I met him. He was sweet and just cute enough and let me light the fireworks he bought. And nothing happened. I told my friends I thought he was cute and they all said I should go for it but I never did. Until October 2023 when we went to the same Halloween party. He tried talking to me about his car to impress me but I don’t know anything about cars so it didn’t really work, but I still thought he was cute and I tried being near him all night. Again, nothing happened. But I still thought he was cute and all my friends still kept urging me to go for it. In January 2024, he added me on Snapchat and we snapped here and there but still never talked. In April, for my 17th birthday, I was throwing a party, and I was convinced to invite him. It was a whole thing, he came late and only stayed for an hour and the time that I did spend talking to him he told me to fuck off. So I did just that, and I let him go. I was upset, naturally, but our mutual friend was sure he did actually like me so he kept convincing him to reach back out to me. The following month after my birthday party we talked all day every day and by May 26th, we were dating.

So, I had basically the most normal of normal teenage relationships. I wish I could come back here and tell you all that “you’re not missing much.” But that’d be a lie. It was a wonderful, beautiful thing. I miss that feeling very much, the way I felt then was the only thing even halfway parallel to the complete and total rush I’ve felt with older men. So, yes, it is possible to find your fix in other places even though it’s entirely different than you imagined. We cuddled and kissed and held hands and he showed me off to his friends. All my friends were jealous, just like I’d fantasized about. I could say things like “oh my boyfriend loves that!” And “we.” It was all very nice. There was this one time, on our first date, we were walking around the city and it was late on a Friday night, and I had this feeling like all the other couples we passed could tell this was our first date of many more to come. Like they could somehow see through me and him. I don’t remember much of what we’d talked about that night, but I remember also feeling like he was going to be my boyfriend. It was a feeling I’ve never experienced before. With H, of course I’d hoped that we was deviant enough to try and make something out of us, but with my ex, I knew that we would be something. It’s a very strange feeling to know something to be true like that. Ultimately, I think this was one of the major factors of our breakup, the fact that I knew what I wanted and he didn’t.

I thought things would never get any better than this, that I had finally found my person. The women in my family have always found their forevers when they were 17, and I figured I was following suit just like them. Right after he’d asked to be my boyfriend, we explained to each other that we’d both pretty much accepted the fact that we’d never have a high school relationship. We talked about even despite that, we kept praying for one. To me, this was a vow. On June 26th however, he decided he wanted to break up. Basically claiming that he’s too busy and that a relationship isn’t something he wants or needs right now. Which is bullshit and he and I both know it. I’m not sure I’ll ever know his exact reasoning for doing so, but that’s besides the point.

The point is that I did a lot of self reflection in the 2 months we’ve been broken up. Probably more than I have ever done, even more than my reformed thoughts about H. I realized that I do still love older men. I still crave that kind of attention. I still actively seek it out. But it’s different now. I realized that I love the unattainability. I love when things are so far out of reach that I can only stretch and crane and sniff at the ‘what-if’ of it all. I love the security of knowing that it’s not reciprocated, that it cannot be returned. I realized that there is peace in the one-sidedness, because if it never leaves me then I never have to confront it or share it. I can live and love within it. It never has to be anything I don’t want it to be. I can be in control of it.

It’s scary when I know that on the other side, that person is feeling something towards me, and that feeling is now something I do not have any say or power over. It grows and winds through them like the roads of my hometown, familiar and unfamiliar all at once. Familiar because I’ve lived here all my life. And unfamiliar like I’m driving at night and know anything might happen to me. And that feeling inside someone, there’s no guarantee it’s going to stay or look the same way every day, it changes, and I still have no say.

But when it’s with someone who can never feel the way I do, I know exactly how it’ll play out. And it’s rather enjoyable when I know that only I have the cards. It can last for however long I wish it to, there’s no expiration date or trial period. I know that it will be there at the end of the day. I cannot say the same for anyone else’s feelings.

The breakup was so hard on me because he was living, breathing proof that I was capable of being liked. Being seen that way. And it was ripped away from me. I’d finally gotten a taste just for it to all have been for nothing. I’m willing to admit the older men I’ve involved myself with in the past have not liked me that way, I was mysterious and promiscuous and the promise of trouble that they’ve craved since they came into adulthood. I was a sexual desire. I still am that sexual desire to them. I don’t really mind that, it’s a little unfortunate that they’ve never loved me like I’ve loved them, but at the end of the day they’re my own kind of sexual desire too. He was a real person, a real teenage boy who liked me. He validated to me what I had always known deep down, that there wasn’t something horribly wrong within me and that someone out there would want to be with me. Despite it being so fleeting, I owe much of who I am in this moment to him and that relationship.

Seeing as my “roster” cleared just as we entered summer, I had so much time for all the things I had been neglecting. Suddenly I had interest in things again. I remembered how much I liked things like superhero movies and The Doors. I had time to focus on things that weren’t how he (my ex, H, any other man I’ve ever involved myself with) felt about me. It was incredibly freeing. I became a new person and it felt like without my knowledge either because of how long I’d been ignoring it. It was sweet to discover who I’d become since the last time I didn’t have a crush.

But, I really do enjoy and miss having a crush. I like the obsession, how it bleeds into all aspects of my life. It gives me a sense of purpose that I’ve never really experienced before. I don’t really care if it’s “bad” to experience this great longing for someone or something, it gives me something to do that I feel like is worth the time. How wonderful to love so deeply. Who am I to withhold that ? Why should I turn it off or dial it down ? I think there should be love in everything we do, whether it be blaring hot and heavy or a dull murmur, everything we do should be mirrored by the love we feel.

But my crushes have always felt so distinctly different from one another. Partly because they are, an older man and a boy my age, but they are also still two sides of the same coin. When I’d fantasize about H I’d mostly envision a private affair. Spending the weekend in a secluded cabin in the woods. Cooking a meal together and dancing in the kitchen. Talking into the late hours of the night, fucking. Which is not to say that I didn’t picture myself out in public with them, because I did very much wish to have a relationship with H that I didn’t need to hide from anyone and where he didn’t need to keep me a secret, I’d just always pictured that kind of a relationship as personal and intimate. A relationship where I didn’t need to perform, where I could just be me and he could be him and there wasn’t any need for saving face. But because I felt so private about it, it bubbled into something pervasive. It became a compulsive need. I couldn’t control myself around him like I’m usually able to do. And it festered within me, it grew and grew until I no longer had any room for it at all.

By contrast, with teenage boys, my fantasies have always surrounded the appearance to other people. I have always pictured him shaking hands with my father, about him winning his big game and running to find me in the stands and give me a Hollywood kiss. I fantasize about him asking me to a school dance with flowers and a big poster, about all my friends being jealous when they see us or when I post him on social media. But those feelings, those daydreams, they’re all always born out of that craving of normalcy. Whenever I like a boy my age, it’s because I get some misplaced idea that he might like me and I get so excited by this that I take it and run with it until the rose-colored haze dissipates and I’m left with the realization that I’ve spent so much wasted time liking a boy who can never give me what I really desire. But this time it was real, and I could be open about it. And it fizzled out. When my ex and I would kiss, I would feel these tiny little fireworks erupting in my stomach. Kissing him felt like everything that’s good in this world, like puppies and springtime and warm chocolate chip cookies. I’ve kissed my fair share of people, and never has it felt like that. It always felt rushed and hungry, like they were trying to extract something very vital from inside of me. It always felt hot and heavy, especially the times that I’d been with older men. And that was nothing like that. It was light and airy, sort of experimental.

I used to find myself getting very angry that H got to go home and go on with his life while I spiraled out of control and became consumed with thoughts of him. He’d go home to his girlfriend and I came home to a quiet house and an anonymous tumblr blog. I used to find it so extremely unfair, you know ? How come he got to say and do all these things that a teacher shouldn’t and carry on like normal ? How come I was the only one facing the consequences ? How come he got to do this with all his girls ? How come he got to make me feel so much, things I have no name for, no way of describing, and I’d have to just remain his student through it all ? Sit there and take it like a dog with his tail between his legs. I didn’t understand how he got away with it. I still don’t understand how he doesn’t care, how he genuinely couldn’t care less about me. He’ll come back this year and do this same routine over again with another girl just like me and rinse and repeat until he retires. I would get so angry wondering what I would get in return. But I don’t feel that way anymore. I miss it. I miss that feeling. I miss the rage, the hurt, the indescribable yearning, the highest of highs, and lowest of lows. Everything he made me feel, whether knowingly and purposefully or not, I miss. Now I’m mostly just mad that I never understood what he was begging me to know. I’m mad that I pushed him away at all. I’d say I’m mad I even met him, but that’d be a lie too. I don’t regret knowing him, not even a little bit. I don’t regret what I felt, what he made me feel. Even when I felt disgusted by him I never regretted any of it. All the times I screamed no I really was screaming yes.

And now I’m a senior. And I don’t have any male teachers. I did end up having J as my 1st period, but I’m not exactly happy about it. J is confusing. He’s too innocent. There’s absolutely nothing there besides a genuine love for teaching. And while that’s admirable, I don’t think it will grow into something. I don’t have any other male teachers besides that. So I’m really not sure what I’m going to do. I plan on visiting H, but I doubt it will really hold me over. I think what most of us like so much about teachers specifically is that we see them so frequently and it’s a guarantee most of the time. I won’t have that anymore. So, I’m feeling pretty lost. Which I bet is a reallllll shocker. I swear I am always feel confused and torn.

Anyway, I guess maybe what I’m trying to say with all of this is that maybe we’re not crazy for this. I think many of us are here and experiencing these feelings because we were born tilted towards the ‘what-if’ and I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. I think we’re allowed to feel this way towards others. I think that sometimes this is natural. I mean, I got a taste of what it was like, what we watch everyone around us experience while we remain silent and passive, and I still ended up back here the same as I’ve ever been. So can it really be that wrong ? Is it possible to love someone wrong ? Does any of it really matter in the long run ? That I spent a long time devoting myself to someone despite it not being reciprocated ? How bad can that be ? How can love ever be wrong ? On a basis, I do understand where people are coming from when they make exposés on the teacher crush community, but really, I think they haven’t the faintest fucking clue what this side of tumblr really is.

[polyamzeal]

Hi, I’m in need of a lil advice.

My partner (23nb) of 5 years and I (25f) opened up our relationship to be polyamorous earlier this year. They recently started messaging w an ex after they downloaded Snapchat for the first time and their ex added them. The 2 of them have gotten to messaging regularly and went out to get coffee to catch up. My partner has told me that they’ve both confessed to still having feelings for each other.

Only the ex already has a boyfriend.

My partner really wants their ex to talk to their boyfriend about polyamory before the two of them hang out any further.

I guess I’m just wondering how dubious this situation seems. It feels unethical to pursue someone already in a relationship and potentially ask them to change their relationship structure? Or should I just butt out since it’s not my relationship?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated!!

Honestly a difficult question. It would be unethical to try to pressure someone to open up their relationship just because one person wants to pursue someone else. And honestly that is likely to not work and be a diester. On the other hand if the ex is serious about considering an open relationship then yeah they should talk to their partner and get their input. I assume you don't have the full story so maybe that partner has implied before that they would want an open relationship. So them talking about it seems like a good idea as long as it is not just pressuring that person to let the exes hook up.

Although, if you want to just take a step back and decide that it is removed enough from your relationship that it is not your problem to worry about I think that is valid too. You will want to let your partner know any boundaries you do have such as, "I don't want a relationship with someone who is in another relationship with a cheater." But that is up to you. I think you have the freedom here to be as involved or not involved as you are comfortable with.

[shroomgal]

Were we really soul tied or was it just limerence?

This is based off of my own research and experience.

About three years ago i matched with this guy on tinder. He wasn't particularly striking. White, shaggy dark brown hair, big nerdy glasses and brown eyes that caught me off guard a little. I swiped right and we matched instantaneously. We talked here and there for about two weeks, sending selfies back and forth, playing the weird game that is snapchat, which is so fucking normalized for whatever reason. (like really, why are we sending blank photos of to each other with no context or conversation ??) Anyways, two weeks in was when the situationship started. A situationship is the stage between friends with benefits and a relationship. Situationships can feel like limbo, never knowing if it will surpass where its currently at. I was drunk at a club, shaking my ass to the latest 2021 trap hits. He asks me to hookup, and I honestly just needed the validation. My friend drives me 15 minutes to his place, where I meet him in his big white range rover in the parking garage of his apartment building. From there, he tells me I'm beautiful in person. I've always had a soft spot for that word. Beautiful. I didn't hear it about myself too often. When he said it, it felt true. And genuine. We had sex.

I started talking to him daily through our snapchats, enamored by our first night together. He would come over, we would hang out, smoke, fuck, watch tv, be human. I developed a bond with him where I felt comfortable in my own skin. I felt comfortable to show him parts of my personality other people didn't normally see. The obsession grew. He took me to a smoothie shop this one time, we held hands. I thought for sure he was my next boyfriend, maybe even my last if I played my cards right. I envisioned a life with him, where I was comfortable, and happy, and me.

One day, after a month of us hanging out, he cancelled on me. Then he cancelled again. Eventually he just stopped responding to me via snapchat. I knew I was getting ghosted, but it was more heart wrenching this time. It was like he was squeezing my heart into knots, watching the blood pour out. When I found out it was because there was someone else, that hurt even more. When I saw he had superliked my best friend on tinder, thats when a part of me crumbled.

On and off these memories of us floated around in my head. This perfect thing that had suddenly vanished, and at that, he had shown interest in the person i loved and trusted the most. Knowing she was in my life. The questions danced in my head, taunting me with every blink. "How did he lose interest so quickly? Things seemed so real and normal." "Why does he want my best friend and not me?" "What am I doing wrong?" These questions and comments on myself mocked me.

I decided to try and win him back. If he wanted mentally ill and crazy, oh, I was gonna give him just that. I played the crazy obsessive ex role. Texting him and calling him, mostly just dumb pranks and me begging for him back the most unserious ways i could. Sometimes he would add me back, we would sext and he would block me again in the morning. But after a while, I met someone else, and gave up.

Thats when he stepped back in. He added me on snapchat, I ignored it. He unadded me and then added me back. I ignored him. He then proceeded to spam like my instagram photos, determined to get my attention. This was now different. He was chasing ME this time. It was tempting, especially since my relationship at the time had been sailing south. But i declined his offers, and went on with my life until,

My relationship ended. All of the sudden, I was back on the obsession train. The thought of him plagued my mind. His hair, his glasses, his voice, his eyes. Everything. The game continued, he would unblock me, we would sext, he would block me in the morning. Eventually I guess this game got old to him because suddenly my texts wouldnt deliver at all, even after a few days. I've stopped myself from reaching out since I called, not expecting a response, and he told me to move on.

Now, my question was, was i really connected to this man, or was I just led into delusion? Well, I fully believe I was a victim of BPD limerence. I do NOT think that we had any sort of soul tie at this point, despite all the angel numbers I've seen in regards to this. I think he's just a shitty guy at this point who liked my hot girl obsession. I think I unfortunately gave him exactly what he wanted, and for that i say to myself: GIRL STAND UP!!!!! In conclusion I am insane and I need to stop letting men take over my brain. At the end of the day, I am authentic. And me. And I have SO much, with or without this man in my life.

[dieabadass]

Hearing my almost ex husbands voice screaming at me about what a piece of shit I am and how he believes I’m a super villian who constantly hacks into his phone/ emails whatever the fuckhearing him say that I try and copy the girl he cheated on me with about everything I post to try and be just like her in hopes that he will see it and make him wanna be with me cuz it reminds him of her and how I somehow also hacked into her phone and texted myself from her phone saying horrible shit to make her look like she was the victim in this whole thing is seriously so far from the truth and makes me WANNAFUCKNDIE.. at the same time kinda flattering he thinks I’m smart enough to do such a thing i wish I was that smart and I mean I am hella fuxkn smart but seriously ? What the fuc he’s a man obviously so he doesent know the wicked shit us girls are capable of doing and i take responsibility in being equally as wicked and petty but what wife would my act out to the childish immature girl who reminded me everyday that she was filling my shoes and stole my entire life with him and future hopes and dreams I ever wanted with my husband…. I mean he doesent even know that when I found out who she was and contacted her that we texted back and forth and she swore she wasn’t that type of woman and she thought it was repulsive that a married man would try and hit her up and just because he wrote her a long ass message on Facebook or Snapchat or whatever the fuck it was that didn’t mean she believed a word of it and felt sorry for him and that if anything they were just friends and that the only man/boy in this world was her son that she was trying to see again and be in his life again and was trying to change her life and go to rehab . I seriously started to feel bad for her honestly and told her if she ever needed a real friend that if she was really just my husbands friend then she could be my friend too she was in a bad state and situation at the time dealing with people constantly stealing from her and fucking her over. She also was fresh out of a toxic relationship with the father of her kids and was heartbroken , still madly in love with him and wanted to die. I felt like maybe just like m she needed a real friend too I sent her 50 bucks cause that’s all I had in my cashapp at the time and told her to use it to get whatever she wanted so she could go to rehab with some new stuff for a new start… in a weird way she reminded me so much of myself…. Little did I know she was far from a stranger and she had been in my life for many many many years but for some reason we never crossed paths. A wolf in sheep’s clothing Not only did I give her my respect for being so brave and strong for wanting a better life but not even 24 hours later , she not only was trying to have. Better life and change and get sober and go to rehabBut she was trying to do all these things with my husband the puppy (who the universe and good karma literally brought back to me) after my husband took her from me and then allowed this girl to take over and let her call her my baby’s new mommy and how she loved her new little life and family with them…. I mean just really cruel shit I didn’t deserve. … funny how karma works tho. And that all being said yes I was enraged with furry and wanted nothing more to seek revenge on this situation and looking back I’m ashamed I acted out and went on an app and posted a description of her and about the situation of my baby girl poppy roo being kidnapped from me, unfortunately for her I wasn’t the only one she wronged and as I was writing this post on this app about my situation there were a few other females there with me and wanted to also put there 2 cents in on about this girl . Unfortunately for me I didn’t proof read what was added and because it was in my account it ended up being a whole lot more then what I originally wanted to say. But that also being said after the girl and my husband saw it and called me all kinds of untrue things that I’m ABSALUTLEYNOT;I ended up showing the post to 2big homies&gave it the green light

Karma

[onepureangel]

one of my exs friends / roommates added me on snapchat knowing who i was ,,,, i added him back but that felt like a mistake ,,

[boyenthusiast]

okay remaking this poll post with added context under the cut (cause you can't edit poll posts)

he's an ex that i have no hard feelings towards (and he doesn't dislike me either as of 6 months ago-ish). it's been like 7 months since the breakup so a few weeks ago i softblocked him on snapchat because although in early december we said we'd still like to be friends with each other, i kinda didn't think that that was gonna happen.

anyway, the reasons for me wanting to add him back are 1. apologize for the way i acted after the breakup (i wasn't horrible but i acted kinda stupidly; texting him like three times for reasons only important to me even though he said he wanted space for a while) and 2. lame reason but im literally just bored and want to maybe see if we can patch things up. there is a chance he thinks of me negatively thoughhh (me acting like a dick after the breakup) and i don't want to remind him of me if he doesn't want to think about me anymore. hOwever, i look at who's viewed my stories just out of curiosity (not looking for him; i still do it) and he'd been seeing them for a while before i softblocked him so i dont think he wants to forget about me. literally the worst thing that could happen is he accepts the friend invite and yells at me over text. or just doesn't add me back.

[chipswsalsa]

now tell me why tf my ex just unblocked and added me back on snapchat. sir, it’s been three years, if you’re in love with me you should’ve said something before you ghosted me for a girl who was three years younger and had just graduated high school.

[rystonlentil]

2022 Podfic Roundup!

(2021 here)

forever hurtling towards the earth, by vienna_salvatori The Mechanisms Raphaella la Cognizi, Dr. Carmilla teen and up 24m 3s

Brilliant scientist Raphaella la Cognizi is down on her luck. She might've made more breakthroughs in her field over the past six months than most could hope to achieve in a lifetime, but it's still not enough. Her project isn't working, and she's run out of time. No one else sees the potential. No one else appreciates the majesty of it, the impossible breakthrough with every painstakingly assembled connective joint, the full sum of scientific knowledge etched into the sweeping curves of not-quite-feathers. It's not enough. And yet- And yet there is a woman standing in the middle of Raphaella la Cognizi's lab, annotating her diagrams and rearranging her wires, and even though it might kill her, Raphaella realises she might just have a chance.

when midnights break their sleep, by SummerFrost The Witcher Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer, Geralt & Renfri mature 1hr 48m 55s

The first Snapchat that anyone ever sends Geralt is a picture of his own irritated face. shrike_princess: can u believe this dumbass finally got a snapchat bc a cute boy asked him nicely "It wasn't even that nicely," Geralt says flatly. AKA: The one where Geralt is a bartender and Jaskier sings karaoke.

Blurry .jpeg of a Little Glass Bird, by spaghetti_garrote Five Nights at Freddy’s mature 51m 44s

In an alternate universe, where instead of hanging around Hurricane as a security guard, William Afton takes on the identity of Dave Miller, a widower and art gallery secretary in Saint Johnsbury, Vermont...

I Want My Octokitten Back, by shella688 The Mechanisms teen and up 6m 13s

Gunpowder Tim has lost his octokitten. What if he never sees it again? WAIT He has seen his octokitten... (A Mechs version of I Want My Hat Back, by Jon Klassen.)

where no man (should have) gone before, by fushifables Stellar Firma teen and up 28m 45s

“You– You’re not going to stay?” he was saying nervously. “Don’t you think you should... er, instruct me? Commentate? Mock me for my hubris? Please Hartro anything—” “Stop whining, Trexel,” Hartro said, pressing a large green button on the console in front of her with a flourish. “I have zero-gravity yoga, so you’ll have to manage on your own. Just remember,” she added, making for the door, “If you die in the HoloDome—trademark Stellar Firma, Limited—you die in real life! Toodles!”

The Point Of Clothes, by pikablob Five Nights at Freddy’s Vanessa & Glamrock Freddy & Gregory general 16m 1s

After taking Gregory in, Vanessa takes him to get new clothes for the first time. While there, he plucks up the courage to ask for something specific.

so i’m the dragon (big deal), by SummerFrost The Witcher Renfri/Yennefer, Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer, Jaskier & Renfri, Geralt & Renfri explicit 2hr 51m 0s

If Renfri were straight and also someone who believed she needed a relationship to have a meaningful existence, she'd probably marry Geralt and not totally hate her life. Luckily she's neither of those things, so she's fucking Geralt's girlfriend instead.

You’ll Figure It Out When You Get There, by TheQuietWings Five Nights at Freddy’s Vanessa & Glamrock Freddy & Gregory teen and up 15m 3s

Vanessa doesn't know exactly what she's supposed to do now. It turns out there is no 12 step program for recovering from being manipulated and possessed by a child murderer who likes to dance around in a rabbit suit. or, an ex-security guard and a piece of stolen property have a chat while Gregory robs a gas station blind.

Nothing Really Sticks, by Rosie447 Stranger Things Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington & Nancy Wheeler teen and up 1hr 11m 9s

Steve cuts his hair with safety scissors in the bathroom of Family Video. Maybe he's less okay than he's been letting on.

The Very Best People, by scioscribe Stranger Things Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington teen and up 1hr 45m 40s

“Why are you messing up my undercover operation, Steve?” Dustin said. “Do you want another tear to open up in the space-time continuum and suck us all into the Upside Down? Do you want the entire world to turn into squishy, mind-flayed zombies because you and Robin couldn’t get your shit together?” (Or, the one where Steve and Robin go undercover in an evil suburb.)

Case #0222411, by FireflysWriting The Magnus Archives, Goncharov (1973) general 6m 37s

Statement of Maria Angelova regarding her supposed involvement in the film Goncharov (1973). Statement given 24th November 2022.

A Mile Away, by lenaballena Check Please! Nursey/Dex, Chowder & Nursey & Dex teen and up 5hr 32m 45s

The thing is, he’s had study nights and TV marathons in Chowder’s room. He’s gotten stoned in Shitty’s, and Lardo’s, crashed on Jack’s floor after a kegster, gone to Bitty’s for advice, and checked Ransom and Holster’s for ghosts. If it were anyone else’s, Nursey would at least have some indicator of what was going on, because he’d be able to recognise the decorations, the layout. But Derek Nurse wakes up in William Poindexter’s room and has no idea where the fuck he is.

A Christmas Carol - Mechanisms Style, by otherhawk The Mechanisms teen and up 18m 34s

On the night before Space Christmas, Ebenezer Scrooge is going to change his ways. Brian will make sure of it, with some unhelpful help from his friends.

[musings-and-fandoms]

i just added my ex back on snapchat fuck me i guess