#Music Online Journal

[doughnutwolf]

I'm going to see the postal service ❣️

[vxpsae]

─── ⋆⋅☆ ⋆⋅ ───

B O U N D A R I E S ! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

MDNI !

DM’s are open - If NSFW related things are sent non consensualy, you will be blocked.

A B O U T M E ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

She/her Overachiever People Pleaser

Straight August Leo 19

I N T E R E S T S 𓍢ִ໋✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚♡ •

60’s - 90’s Music Romance Books

Fashion True Crime Poetry

Abandoned Places Kittens

Musicals Journaling

H O B B I E S 𓍢ִ໋✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚♡

Baking and Cooking Painting

Shopping Reading

Sleeping Crying

─── ⋆⋅☆ ⋆⋅ ───

[wannawrite999]

[dumplingprincessextraordinaire]

That awkward moment when you like an artist’s products (Mccaferty, Melanie Martinez etc) and apparently they’ve done shitty stuff and people gotta remind/guilt you just because you like their work.

Like idk who or care who they are morally, I have no expectations for celebrities really. I just like their music or movies. It’s the people who have the flaw of looking up to them who has the real heart break (except ofc whoever the celebrities hurts) I think part of being so numb to this is being a woman and just being used to people being predatory toward me so like, yeah nothing shocks me.

Plus, I’m very far removed from celebrity crime and culture. I’m more in tuned to potential predators who are ACTUALLY near me

Edit:also this is alleged and these artists are just from the top of my head, I don’t have strong opinions on them and I’m not their stans nor thier haters. I just think they got some bops.

[ruminate88]

Songs For Healing Trauma🎶

I have always turned to music for a safe space to speak my heart and be honest with the world and most importantly, myself. I find it hard to lie in my songs. It’s been so helpful to express myself in music and I hope my music can be a source of healing for you too!! Below I have songs posted from Spotify for you ❤️‍🩹

[tr4g1c-g1rl-j4m13]

Nov. 7, 2024 (Yeah Boy and Doll Face)

it's been like a month since I last posted on here, plus I saw MCR. oh em gee they were literally so good :(( I was crying like a baby their whole set, but it was in a good way. also, cobra starship was so awesome, like i'm so greatful I saw them, the setlist was so yummylicious. a lot has happened in the past month, i'm failing 2 classes and i'm gonna go to warped tour 2025, plus I have a 10-10 amazing, spectacular bf. we're so silly, I made us matching yeah boy and doll face bracelets :3 praying I can get/make us more matching things. we both play guitar and bass and we're so cool (we're totally perfect together) /j

whatever though i'm just bored in class :p

have a good day, evening, or night (especially to my bf)

-JAMIEEEE :))))

[urfriendash]

do you wanna come over to my house later (to talk about our spotify wraps)?

[redacted-s-journal]

diegetic | 30/08/2024 | 02:00

mystic messenger OST playing in the background while i do work goes hard

Yours sincerely, [redacted]

[cresendipity]

let’s not overthink it this time <3

[icewindandboringhorror]

We should bring back that thing some websites used to do where whenever you made a post you could also list a bunch of random details alongside it, like the mood you’re currently feeling while writing the post, what you’re eating, music you’re currently listening to, what device you’re writing the post on, some random emoji, your personal motto at the moment, etc. It’s like additional character lore 

[hanrolld]

૮꒰⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝꒱ა

19/05/2024:

today I went to a Chinese theme park in the city I’ve been staying, this city is less rainy than the place that I live, I don’t enjoy rainy days so I’m really happy to feel a little sun and vitamin D, I decided to make a little journal in my tumblr, it’s a project I tried last year but I think I’m going to make it this year, I don’t have many friends and not everyone gets my style so I’m working in myself, if you read this thank you but you are not obligated to :3 I’m just setting little goals, sadly writing this I noticed that I was doing this so maybe someone play attention to me and that shouldn’t be the goal, either way thank you for reading a have a great day, love you (say it back!)

Song of the day:

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀‹ parfum d’étoiles › ⠀

by ichiko aoba

[theluxuriansecret]

Diary Entry 02272024

7:39 pm

Dear Diary,

I have so many things on my plate, and also nothing at all. I am still woefully unemployed, which makes me so upset, but I digress. 2024 is nothing I thought it would be, in many many ways.

To start, I spent the last four days with my boyfriend. Our relationship is honestly going really well, but it is still very early. I sometimes have these thoughts about whether or not I'm a good partner, or whether or not I am good enough for him. Because of my unemployment status, I have been feeling incredibly low. I have so many ideas and dreams, and yet that is all they are. I don't put any action behind them, but that is going to change, and I will have the life I dream of and deserve. I want to be not only the woman he deserves, but the woman I deserve. On Friday, we met up in *redacted city* (on a trip he fully planned on his own) and we ate dinner, Chinese food because he knows I always have Chinese food on Friday, which was so sweet and thoughtful. We were drinking and he ended up getting too drunk or the mixture of liquor and Chinese food was just not sitting well with him, either way he ended up getting sick. I took care of it, i cleaned up his throw up, but he cried as asked me why I cared and it broke my heart. regardless, after that shit was cool. We went on our first "date" I guess and it that was good. I get quiet, sometimes I don't know what to say, and I don't want it to be the wrong thing, so I say nothing. I just need to work on being myself. I don't need to be a perfect person, and I really need to let it go.

In other news, I fear I may be shifting in other relationship dynamics. Growing closer to some and moving further from others, but I guess that's how it goes? Love doesn't die, it just changes. The love may change to hate, the love may evolve into indifference, but the love doesn't.. die does it? One of my closest friends, one I share matching tattoos with, maybe the feelings are all in my head, but he actions make me feel different. I feel like I am a convenient friend for her and not the person she truly wants to hang out with because she misses me, but more so I am available. The way she speaks to me sometimes is very unkind, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. I always try to give it the benefit of the doubt but our last time hanging out really did it for me. We were talking about her car being dirty from the snow salt and I said something like "yeah, my car is fucked too" she didn't hear the too part and was like "fuck you" but the tone was not in a joking tone, it was just "fuck you". It really made me feel so uncomfortable and it's like her masks about me starts to slip. I'm really letting my gut feeling sway me on this because she makes weird "rude" comments all the time and THEN tries to play them off as a joke, but I never find it funny. It just sucks. I want to talk to her about it, but I fear she will think I am attacking her. The right moment will come about.

ALSO, I got to Miami in two weeks, I have yet to by nay clothes for the trip and I need to set dates for my graduation photos (which I don't want to take, but whatever). I just want college to fully be fucking behind me, I am over it.

SOTD: Pool by Still Woozy + Remi Wolf

[wannawrite999]

[kryptonexorcius]

I took ballet class, I'm in love

[ruminate88]

Maybe They’re Not sorry 🎶 (song I wrote for myself and any other trauma survivors)

Someone who is emotionally unavailable often can’t take any accountability for their actions. After my ex Andrew and I broke up, he tells me “he pretended all his feelings to lead me on that nothing between us was ever real!” I was so confused and upset with him that I kept crying to him how much it hurt, and how I just wanted to understand it all… However, he kept saying to me, he wished that he could take my pain away, but he just didn’t know “how to help me” and that “I just  needed time to get over him”. 🙄 (so full of himself) The worst part of it all, was that all the hurt and pain was on the inside. NO one could see the pain I was in… I was so humiliated how Andrew downplayed our whole relationship, almost as if I didn’t exist and he already was posting pictures of a new girl on Instagram so I had to accept all of it and I wasn’t comfortable to talk to family. I realized Andrew can’t be honest with me or feel sorry. I will most likely never get an apology from him so I’m carrying all the sorry and forgiveness in myself. I’m making the closure and killing the dream I originally made in my head of having a “life with him”. He’s not the person I thought he was when we met… I know this is hard but, all of the: “healing, closure and forgiveness” has to come from inside of YOU. (Unless Andrew could become self aware and go on an apology tour. I do try to pray for him and I’ve tried to understand him and still care even tho I know he doesn’t care about me.) 

Lyrics: 

When you have scars on the inside 

That no one can see 

No matter how you try to hide 

You can’t help but bleed 

that person who hurt you

Won’t accept what they’ve done

You cry out  from the pain 

But they’re on the run

Maybe they’re not sorry

and you have to accept that for yourself 

Healing takes time 

Don’t give up on yourself 

Maybe they’re not sorry 🥺❤️‍🩹

[divsere]

an excerpt from my journal :

"the horizon tries but its just not as kind on the eyes as arabella"

-arctic moneys (arabella)

and i think this is so beautiful.