#Mr. Collins

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

possibly one of my FAV scenes from my FAV thing ever-

Elizabeth Bennet almost commits a murder, Jane just barely prevents a murder, Mary has the MOST toxic crush on her wet cat blorbo Mr. Collins, and Kitty... literally... ran off rather than sit with him. Beautiful.

<3 i love this miniseries <3

[bethanydelleman]

Charles Musgrove: Anne said no, so then I-

Mr. Collins: Proposed to her best friend two days later?

Charles Musgrove: What! No! Who would do that? After a respectable amount of time, I proposed to and married her younger sister.

Mr. Collins: Oh... but have you ever invited Miss Elliot over so she can see what she missed out on by not marrying you?

Charles Musgrove:....

Mr. Collins: Well?

Charles Musgrove: Um, we do have her over, but because we both like her? And she's great with the kids too.

Mr. Collins: Huh. So, Lady Catherine de Bourgh-

Charles Musgrove: Sorry, I think I hear my wife calling me. Mary!

[jomiddlemarch]

Five Times Aristocrats Shared a Bed and One Time They Didn’t*

(*where “they” have delusions of grandeur)

1.

“If it is your preference, I shall give you your privacy and I will seek your permission before entering your chamber,” Fitzwilliam said stiffly, reminding Elizabeth so much of the aloof stranger she’d first seen at a Meryton dance that she could not keep from laughing.

“Madam?” he asked, taken aback.

She had learnt him well enough to wait to speak until she’d laid her hand upon his chest, where he could not fail to see his ring upon her finger.

“I’ve never slept alone in my life and I shouldn’t like to start now,” she said. “I warn you and Jane will confirm it, my feet get cold but I despise bed-socks.”

“It will be my pleasure to keep you warm, Elizabeth,” he said.

2.

“I’ve made sure your suite was entirely redecorated, all in the loveliest shades of green and indigo, and I spoke with your housekeeper, to ensure your mattress here is just as you like it,” Emma said.

George raised an eyebrow in inquiry. It was quite the most devilish expression and she wished she were capable of matching it.

“You have already undertaken so much, leaving Donwell Abbey and coming to live at Hartfield, you deserved to have a place of your own, a retreat when you cannot bear another second of Papa’s exhortations about the risk of cold lettuce on a young man’s chest or my silly prattling,” she explained.

“Mrs. Knightley, what I cannot bear is to be apart from you at night,” he said, moving closer as he spoke. “To wake without you in my arms.”

“Well, you needn’t,” she said, while she could. 

She was not sorry when she couldn’t. Not one bit.

3.

“If you’d like, my dear, I’ll sleep in my dressing room,” Charles said. “I know aristocrats don’t share a bed. My parents did but of course, Father was in trade, for all that Caroline wants to pretend we’re the obscure cadet branch of some viscount from the North. I asked Darcy and he turned rather puce but he did say it was so—”

“We’re not aristocrats, Charles,” Jane replied.

“You’re a gentleman’s daughter, Jane, a lady to the very tips of your toes,” Charles replied.

“Whoever the Bingleys are, we’re only Charles and Jane here,” she said. “And whatever you consider the tips of my toes, I’m your wife first and last.”

“You’ll send me to my dressing room if I snore, though. You must promise me that, you’re too good a creature to complain about anything but I shan’t have you exhausted,” Charles said.

“If you snore, I promise, I’ll wake you,” Jane said.

She’d learnt quite quickly how her husband took his tea and how to lie to him.

4.

“When we choose an estate, I’ll make sure there’s a separate chamber for you, sweetheart,” Frederick said softly. “You’ll want that after being crammed into this crowded little cabin—”

“It’s snug,” Anne said, turning slightly so she might see his dear face better. The moonlight from the porthole took him from the epitome of a British sea-captain and changed him into a figure of romance or myth, a god all silver and shadow. “I shouldn’t like anything better than this, this perfect refuge that’s ours alone and the sound of the waves.”

“We’ll choose a place by the sea,” he said. “A house with a view, plenty of space, light and airy.”

“But I don’t care to sleep apart, no matter had bad Ton it is,” she said. “We were apart long enough.”

5.

“Don’t say we must be stuffy aristocrats about it and sleep in separate rooms and you’re to knock at my door and wait there in a banyan and slippers for me to bid you enter,” Marianne said in a rush, exhilarated by the fresh air, the vista before them, Colonel Brandon’s arm around her waist. He did not yet believe she was steady on her feet after her illness and she could not convince him otherwise, had she been inclined to try. “There is nothing romantic about that, nothing ravishing—”

“There will be ravishing, my dear,” he replied. “In one room, one bed, if that’s what you want.”

“I quite fancy the contrast, how splendidly massive Delaford is and then to imagine the two of us tucked away, almost in a garret,” she said dreamily.

“I draw the line at a garret,” he said. “And I do wear a banyan and slippers when it’s chilly.”

6.

“Some would say we’ve pretentions beyond our station, Mrs. Collins, yes, some would say that very thing, but for someone, if you will, attached to a lady as elevated as Lady Catherine de Bourgh, for a clergyman with refined taste and a sense of elegant delicacy derived from a close association with an aristocrat like her Ladyship, well, it hardly seems the argument that we’re aping our betters should be given the least credence,” Mr. Collins declared, speaking much as he would giving one of his sermons. Anything to do with Lady Catherine called for that tone of voice, a fact Charlotte had gleaned after three days in the vicarage.

“As you say, Mr. Collins,” Charlotte replied.

“It’s a squeeze, I’m quite aware of that, but I had the box room fitted out and the alcove in the larger room can serve as a dressing room, if it comes to it,” he said.

“I’ve no complaints, sir,” Charlotte replied. 

Indeed, her husband’s announcement that they would have separate sleeping chambers had made her nearly as happy as his offer to wed and might very well be her salvation.

Posted late for Janeuary 2025 @janeuary-month Day 21, prompt: aristocracy

[applecoreart]

I want to invest more time in reading again and thought some cute reading lists would be a nice motivator. Since I want to re-read Jane Austen's novels, starting with Pride & Prejudice, that seemed like a good theme to run with (especially with all the talk about books and reading) :) Visually, they're all kind of chilling at home with a good book (except for Mr. Collins, who I threw in there as a joke-- you can rank books on his list by potatoes, rather than hearts, lol).

The lists are free to download from my Google Drive here (grouped into a '95 and '05 pack). Each pack contains the printable pdf pages, as well as the same designs on printable (6"x2") bookmarks :) Happy reading! ❤️📚

[dragoneyes618]

Anybody else wondering if the quarrel Mr Bennet had with Mr Collins' father was because Mr Bennet wanted to break the entail so his daughters could inherit but the senior Mr Collins refused?

[orangechickenpillow]

Nightmare blunt rotation

[musemofme]

“I think the corn is very special” son

Or

“What excellent boiled potatoes” daughter

[do-u-know-this-autisticcharacter]

Do You Know This (non-canon) Autistic Character?

Propaganda:

There are several different "versions" of the character, with the 2005 movie version being the most obviously coded as autistic: he's extremely solemn, avoids eye contact even while proposing marriage, and is shown to be visibly confused and frightened when his interactions don't go according to plan. In all versions, the character obsesses over the patronage and advice given to him by Lady Catherine de Bourgh, admits to planning out compliments ahead of time, and demonstrates a total inability to recognize when he's being received badly or when people are making fun of him.

Most of his speeches are very long and unusually formal for his age. His tour of Rosings Park in the novel is described as follows: "Here, leading the way through every walk and cross walk, and scarcely allowing them an interval to utter the praises he asked for, every view was pointed out with a minuteness which left beauty entirely behind. He could number the fields in every direction, and could tell how many trees there were in the most distant clump."

[burningvelvet]

Just found out from a short clip on social media that the actor of Lord Cutler Beckett in PotC (Tom Hollander) plays Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice 2005. I've had that movie on my to-watch list for years after hearing so many rave reviews and seeing so many references to it but THAT is what has officially sold me...

[maxiemumdamage]

Haven’t read Pride and Prejudice through in a while, maybe this was addressed and I forgot, but is there ever an explanation for why, when Elizabeth rejects Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet doesn’t try to pawn him off on one of the other girls?

Mrs. B shielded Jane from Collins despite her being the unmarried and most eligible eldest because she thinks Jane can do better (Bingley) in the immediate future. Why not by that same logic write Elizabeth off as a spinster (which she kind of does anyway when Lizzie’s father steps in and forces Collins to back off) and try pawning it off on the next eldest daughter?

Mrs. Bennet probably wouldn’t do that to one of her favorite daughters, no, she has faith they can do better. But Elizabeth and Mary are not her favorites.

Which brings me to my actual point: obviously Mary and Mr. Collins would not have a happy marriage, because Mr. Collins is the kind of man it’s pretty much impossible to be happy with and Mary certainly isn’t mature enough to do it. But do you think they’d last long enough before realizing they’re incompatible to walk down the aisle? They’ve got surface similarities in their preachiness and attempts to appear intelligent despite their lack thereof.

Not saying I think this should’ve happened, for many reasons starting with Mrs. Bennet was forcing her kids into an absolutely miserable union for her own sake taking a turn at Charlotte Richards and her prospects and ending with Mary being way better off in canon when she waited and had sisters positioned to help her. But still, an interesting what-if, which fandom is meant for.

[bethanydelleman]

I feel like no one talks about how after Elizabeth refuses Collins like 6 times but he just keeps plowing ahead with his plans for marriage, she actually starts to go get her dad so he can stop Collins with the power of mansplaining:

To such perseverance in wilful self-deception Elizabeth would make no reply, and immediately and in silence withdrew; determined, that if he persisted in considering her repeated refusals as flattering encouragement, to apply to her father, whose negative might be uttered in such a manner as must be decisive, and whose behaviour at least could not be mistaken for the affectation and coquetry of an elegant female.

Jane Austen perfectly capturing the epitome of a female experience.

[jomiddlemarch]

in the middle before I knew that I had begun

Every visit to Rosings was a trial. As a small child, it had perhaps been most bearable, Darcy whisked away to the nursery where his cousin Dickon was often already settled, making the most of the hobbyhorse which Anne was too young to mount and which would be of little use to her as she would expected to ride side-saddle as soon as she was put upon a pony. Anne’s nurse was apt to ply them with shortbread to get them to behave properly, unlike Darcy’s nurse at Pemberley who would not have hesitated to box their ears. They were brought down to the drawing room for a quarter of an hour, standing as still as they could, Dickon having invented the game he called living statues to help pass the time. It would stand Darcy in good stead over the years, especially when he was most in company. At Rosings, they would be inspected, praised by Darcy’s mother, criticized by Aunt Catherine, and offered cakes by Dickon’s mother, who was quite plump and fussed least about crumbs and sticky fingers.

Returning every year was an obligation, one which only grew more binding after his mother’s death, though her absence was keenly felt, unblunted by time as Georgianna grew to resemble her. Her daughter was more like her in manner than in coloring, though she had her fair and unblemished complexion. Darcy could no sooner have stayed away from Rosings than gallop to the Moon upon a road of starlight, a fanciful image he’d conjured for Georgianna one night when she was recovering from a childhood illness, still fretful from her fever. If their mother had lived, perhaps he might have visited friends, stayed in London and made a wider acquaintance than that of the Bingleys, however fond he was of Charles. As it was, it was Darcy’s fondness which kept Charles from suffering more than one visit to Rosings, a boon even the sunny-natured Bingley was deeply thankful for. Darcy went, Georgianna accompanying him if her health allowed, the only argument Aunt Catherine would ever countenance, and he sat through dull afternoons and duller dinners, dull vintages and even duller volumes in the Rosings library. He listened to his cousin Anne play endless sonatas competently but without any particular feeling and he did his best to keep from striking the sycophant vicar Mr. Collins his aunt had given the Rosings living to; unlike her, Darcy was not remotely pleased by the man’s obviously intricately planned adulatory remarks, the slavering expression in his rather small eyes every time he uttered the most-esteemed Lady Catherine de Bourgh, an appellation Darcy felt did not need to be mentioned in every third sentence. 

A visit to Rosings was a trial and an obligation, a chore and a burden, until he arrived and found a stranger at the pianoforte, a vibrant, chestnut-haired young woman in a very simple muslin gown, his cousin Anne sitting beside her. Anne had never looked more sallow and sickly, her costly gown and jewels emphasizing her frailty in contrast to the bloom of the woman beside her, whose hair was held back by a plain ribbon fillet, her only adornment a modest little cross of some dark stones. She was playing the piano with more zest than accuracy and Darcy was dismayed to be unsure which aspect was pleasing Anne enough to make her pallid lips curve in a small but entirely genuine smile.

Anne stood when she saw him while the woman stopped playing but remained seated. He walked over to greet his cousin, bowing smartly while she made a gesture akin to a curtsy, the formality due their stations far outweighing any mild familial affection they might have for each other.

“Cousin Fitzwilliam, welcome. If you are here, you must have already seen Mama who have advised you to come. I hope your journey was not too taxing and that you will stay here a while and enjoy some music. My new companion, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, came just last fortnight. She is the cousin of the vicar and Mr. Collins was only too glad to discover he might have been able to in any minute way be of service to me, and by extension, my most-esteemed mother, Lady Catherine,” Anne said. She’d spoken more words than Darcy had ever heard her utter at one time, and though she was still quite pale and her curls rather lank and drooping, there was an unusual animation in her tone. She turned slightly to face Miss Bennet. “That is how he said it, wasn’t it, dear Elizabeth?”

“I believe he was only too glad and most assuredly blessed beyond measure,” Miss Bennet replied. She had the finest dark eyes Darcy had ever seen and her voice was confident and gay, far different from every other companion he’d ever encountered, women most often faded misses of indeterminate age who spoke little and softly, nearly always offering only an affirmation.

“That’s him exactly. He’d pressed his hands together as if he were about to give a homily in the pulpit and Mama gave him her falcon-sighting-prey glare and he only nodded his head several times,” Anne said. 

“He was honest though. I’ve never met someone as delighted as Mr. Collins is to render even the most insignificant service to Lady Catherine and I myself am certainly fortunate to have been offered the position as your companion,” Miss Bennet said. Darcy had never heard a companion speak so frankly to her betters about her role and felt he ought to be disgusted. Instead he was diverted, a condition he experienced rarely.

“I am the fortunate one, as you are far more lively and engaging than I could ever be. I’ve never known the days to pass so quickly,” Anne said.

“They shall pass quicker still when your strength improves and our walks about the countryside are more extensive,” Miss Bennet said, a remark which could have been cutting, as if might have been if Miss Caroline Bingley, Charles’s rather odious sister, had spoken it, but which was only imbued with a gentle, genuine warmth and kindness. “Though you risk a muddy hem three inches deep when you join me and your mother may be as disappointed in your deportment as she was in mine. I must admit, Mr. Darcy, I did not bow my head and offer an apology. Indeed, my courage rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”

“You are singular, Miss Bennet,” he said.

“And you have not even heard me attempt ‘Les deux petits savoyards,’” she countered, moving her hands back to the pianoforte’s keys.

“Oh do play, dear Elizabeth,” Anne said and Darcy inclined his head in agreement, at a loss for words. The melody began, quite spirited, much like the musician herself and Darcy realized this visit to Rosings was itself singular.

For he had fallen in love. With his Cousin Anne’s paid companion. A servant.

Somehow, he’d have to find a way to marry her.

Written for Janeuary 2025 @janeuary-month day 7, prompt: servant.

Posted in the better late than never spirit.

[adobongsiopao]

I thought this "shelves in the closet" scene from "Pride and Prejudice" 1995 version was only present in the adaptation version and it was written as some sort of in-joke between the staff of the show but it actually exist in the novel! This scene is based on Chapter 14 of the novel:

"She had even condescended to advise him to marry as soon as he could, provided he chose with discretion; and had once paid him a visit in his humble parsonage, where she had perfectly approved all the alterations he had been making, and had even vouchsafed to suggest some herself--some shelves in the closet upstairs."

Elizabeth's commentary about it was amusing as if she's the main character in a point-and-click adventure game. Happy thought, indeed!

Is there any scene from the adaptation that you thought it was made up first but turned out they actually exist from source material?

[ninjastormz]

[nora-barnacle]

Modern Mr. Collins mostly listens to old soul music.

[lizzy-bonnet]

You cannot convince me that Mr. Collins would not happily kick a baby if advised to do so by his noble patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.