#Monica Graves

[gobbluthbutagirl]

packing for my trip this week and i’m like when was the last time i actually went on a vacation that involved a flight…well it was 19 years ago. and 19 years ago i was 7 so i’m sure i was only minimally involved in the packing process

[that-wimpy-cowboy-doll]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self love 🤎

🥺🥺🥺

Babe thank you! And sorry for taking so long! In no particular order:

cheating a little but the whole i love you so (please let me go) series because it has allowed me to let the self-indulgence goblins do their thing

The Rich Earth Between Us because all ghost stories are really love stories, at the end of the day

how the faces of love have changed because i actually fucking finished something!

She of the Water because the folktale style was fun to play with and we love a queer Baba Yaga story

[harpersessentials]

i have been working on a little special trip with my harpers and i decided to explore the trip to egypt mod by nando. suddenly, the urge to have ancient egypt related cc (pharaos, pyramids, mummies...) became a thing. so i present you a selection of cc that i liked particularly. i hope it can help you in the future if you wish to explore a north african landscape in your sims game too.

p.s. all bullets with * mean it is a TSR link.

worlds & save files

trip to egypt (world modification) by nando

egyptian oasis save file by sims 4 collab

the sims medieval save by divan the simmer (oasis springs was turned into ancient egypt)

lots (no-cc)

trip to egypt lot by genkai haretsu*

maroccan mansion by mychqqq*

morocco by sharon337*

egyptian palace gardens by weekendbuilder

moroccan riad by weekenbuilder

egyptian bathhouse by beccatownsims

egyptian cocktails by camillevalentine

egyptian pyramid home by buddaguitarz

egyptian pyramid by oscarella

egyptian pyramid by kimmyal

ancient egyptian tomb by cutelilycat333

egyptian house alone by bankbest19482

super mansão marroquina by ac sims (dl here)

moroccan dream home by mr olkan (dl here)

moroccan oasis by amaranth sims stop motion (dl here)

maroccan riad by nolanasims

maroccan riad spa by nolanasims

maroccan house by nolanasims

maroccan souk by nolanasims

maroccan hammam hotel by nolanasims

maroccan house by nolanasims

arabian villa by the grim simmer (dl here)

tunisian house by simday

dream arabic villa by marmelad (dl here)

oasis retreat by sati sim

mansão marroquina by game simms (dl here)

the pyramids by sarahamina

ancient pyramid by virtualfairytales*

buy mode

egyptian stuff by sims 4 fun

egyptian relics by thejim07

a cat haiku by pforestsims

hair

hathor hair by sehablasimlish*

sahara sunset collab by savvysweet (part) /crypticsim/simtric

amani hair by alladin

monica hair by alladin

candice hair by alladin

ivy hair by simkatu

makeup & tattoos

egypt eyeliner by ngsims3*

treasures of hateshepsut by joliebean

grave digger - zobie facepaint by imtater

zombie stitches by pipco*

zombie skin overlay by imtater

princess ahmanet by overkillsimmer

agnes facepaint by magichand*

clothing

egyptian dress by tatyana name*

missandrei dress and cape by simmring

missandrei outfit by sifix

missandrei dress by sifix*

nemesis dress by sifix*

necklace top and panneled skirt by bustedpixels

cleo de nile outfit by colores urbanos*

mummy outfit 2 by pipco*

terses outfit by natalia auditore

pharaoh outfit 2 by natalia auditore

clothing for men ancient egypt by mara

mummy outfit by plumbobs n fries*

toddler egyptian formal dress by bekahluann*

egyptian robe for kids by bekahluann*

pyramid pals: egyptian kids set by clepsydra

accessories

spring/summer 2021 earrings by sentate

twisted alongated hoops by feyona*

keondra earrings by feyona*

medusa earrings by bluecraving

ariana earrings by solistair

coil necklace by bokchoijo*

egyptian collar necklace & males by bokchoijo*

egyptian bead collar necklace by bokchoijo*

keondra plate necklace by feyona*

helena necklace by feyona*

serpentine necklace by icecreamforbreakfast

leaves necklace by valley tulya

egypt snake upper arm tires by specialany

egyptian bangles by bokchoijo*

keondra cuff bracelets by feyona*

serpentine bracelet by icecreamforbreakfast

ds cuff bracelet by darknightt*

urmia rings by madlen

bandage set by nell

mummeh set by pinkpatchy

shoes

adriana feet by madlen*

life's a beach ibiza sandals by lvndrcc*

volos shoes by madlen*

babylon shoes by madlen*

gaspare sandals by madlen*

niella platform sandals by darknight*

gladiator sandals by clepsydra

jw sandals by mauvemorn*

premade sims

nikare & cat by jazmilia

egyptian cat by ratatanpan

[evolnoomym]

The Night We Met🌠/Pt.2

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Pt. 1 🌌 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: You return to Texas after being gone for 5 months.

Rating: 18+ content mdni!!!!(there’s nothing explicit, still I want the minors to stay away.)

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: no use of y/n, pregnancy, female reader, reader has no name only a nickname, size difference, loss of a loved one, grief, food and eating are mentioned, age gap,

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: The part 2 some of you wanted, hopefully you’ll like it 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @thecutestgrotto and @cafekitsune for the dividers 💙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that(and me being high). I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly 🌠🫶🏻

+Bonus at the end 🥰

Song’s I listened to while writing:

To Build A Home - The Cinematic Orchestra, Patrick Watson

Twins - Gem Club

Space Song - Beach House

Silver Soul - Beach House

Santa Monica Dream - Angus & Julia Stone

Sunset Lover - Petit Biscuit

Big Jet Plane - Angus & Julia Stone

you. - Oscar Lang

Home - Catie Turner

I would - Torri Weidinger

Hearing - Sleeping At Last

My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

I miss you, I’m sorry - Gracie Abrams

Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac

* 5 months later *

You haven’t been in this place ever since leaving all those months ago. So much has changed for you. The sickening feeling you used to get when entering didn’t seem to return once you stepped onto the property. Now as you sit across from him, it does not feel as if you’re being torn apart by each second you spend here, perhaps it’s also because you have a little helper to make this less painful. 

His grave looks just like you remember and once you sat down you noticed that somebody must’ve taken care of it in your absence. Your favorite flowers are placed on top- blue chrysanthemums. 

It’s a beautiful warm spring day, birds chirping in the distance, sunshine warming up your skin, fresh breeze blowing through your hair and finally more color being added to the scenery. 

You smile softly because it’s a good day and you’re happy to see him. 

And as some sort of Déjà vu, a father comes walking down the dirt path with his daughter and the little girl is cheerfully giggling while taking in all the beautiful flowers adorning the graves. 

When the girl reaches the blue chrysanthemums she lets out a stunned gasp, it seems like she might have never seen those flowers in her life before. 

When her dad spots you he immediately starts apologizing profusely for his daughter’s behavior but you let him know that it’s more than welcome and you think to yourself how the little girl reminds you of the past. 

When they are out of sight you start laughing and then say “You Funny old men, sending me a sign aren’t you? Thank you Papa.” He’s still here, always with you and he was even when you were so far away. 

(Flashback beginning )

The first few weeks were rough for you, so incredibly far away from what was supposed to be home and with Joel’s distraught face burned into your memory. 

Luckily Sunny was there to catch you in the darkest moments, if it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t have made it. 

When you called her out of sheer desperation and told her you’d need to be somewhere far away, Sweet Sunny, without thinking about it, offered to take you in. 

The flight over there was incredibly stressful for you but seeing Sunny’s face once she picked you up from the airport made it all worth it. 

She had to treat you like a wounded animal, cooking your favorite meals, taking you for walks around the pastures, massages when the back pain flared up again and when nothing helped just sitting with you through the agony. 

Sunny is your childhood Bestfriend, you were born on the same day just 4 years apart, you have the same interests and the same dislikes. Your dad always called you Sunny and Moon. Two Inseparable forces. 

The time with Sunny and the change of scenery was healing. You went to yoga with her, took trips to Costco, she took you to the local aquarium, the butterfly garden and to the beach.  

When the time came to fly back home you were sad but Sunny promised to visit once it’s time. 

(Flashback over)

It was a week ago that your plane touched down in Texas, it felt so strange being back in the town you so hastily left. 

Once you landed Joel was all you could think about, is he okay, does he look different, did he move, did he find someone new or is he still waiting for you?

You’ve seen the countless messages he sent you over the months, yet you couldn’t find the courage to answer him you would’ve felt like a liar. You felt terrible for not holding up your end of the bargain.

After sleeping in the motel for a week you finally, especially after talking to your Dad, feel empowered enough to go see Joel again. 

You had stopped once on the drive towards Joel’s house, due to raging nausea, you are incredibly nervous sitting in the parked car in front of his home. 

It still looks exactly the same as when you disappeared, nothing changed about it. 

It takes a few more minutes before you get out of the car. You have to take a couple deep breaths and wipe your shaking sweaty palms off on your long black stretchy skirt that you decided to wear combined a black ribbed tank top. 

The outfit looks good and is the most comfortable for you in this state.

Your knees are weak on the steps up to the house, the fluttering in your belly gets continuously worse the closer you get to the front door and when you knock on the door you’re close to passing out. 

The seconds you have to wait feel like hours. In reality it’s only seconds and when the door opens time seems to stand still, there he is Joel Miller in all his glory. 

His eyes scan your face in frantic disbelief and his mouth makes him look like a fish fresh outta water. 

You try to take control of the situation “H…hi Joel.” It’s simple but you’re just as stunned. 

You can see his eyes turn glassy “No Joel, no tears come on, you gonna make me cry too.” You try to say it in a cheerful way but the words end in a quiet whisper. 

“Y…you- you’re back? Am I….dreamin?” He stammers clearly unconvinced. You nod gently and reach with your hand for his face, when your warm soft palm touches his scruffy cheek his eyes fall shut and the tears start rolling down his cheeks. 

His lips are trembling, as if your touch hurts him. “Joel, I…I’m so sorry.” At that he opens his eyes again and to your surprise he does not look mad, though he’d have all right to be. 

With his eyes still locked onto your face he asks “How…how long have ya been back?”

You turn away slightly and gesture behind you towards the car parked in front of the driveway. “I've been back for about a week, sleeping in that ranch motel and I was just at Dad’s grave when I thought about coming here.” When you turn back to face him his eyes are no longer on your face, but instead somewhere else. 

Joel’s eyes are stuck on your midsection. 

Oh yeah, the bump, from the front it’s not that noticeable but as soon as you turn boom there it is the unmistakable swell. 

That’s what scared you the most, how would he react to the pregnancy. 

“Y…you- you’re pregnant? How…I mean ya didn’t say anythin bout that back then?” He questions in almost trance.

“Maybe we should go inside to talk, hmm? My feet kinda hurt.” You laugh which pulls him out of his frozen state.

“Jeez of course, come in let’s sit down Moon.” He gestures to come into the house you used to share and once you cross the threshold the familiar smell engulfs you, a mix of vanilla and sandalwood.

Everything mostly still looks the same, once you reach the living room you immediately note that all the pictures are still exactly where they always hung on the wall. And when you look at the dining table, the one you sat at that night it’s still the same but what’s placed on top makes your breath hitch. 

Blue Chrysanthemums, the same as on his grave. 

When you turn you realize Joel’s been watching you “Did you put the flowers on his grave?” 

“Yeah, that was me” while he nervously scratches his neck “I hope ya liked them.”

You huff “Joel I loved them they are my favorite you know that. So you've been going to his grave?”

He hesitates for a moment but then responds “Every week since ya left Moon. Just spend a bit talkin to the ol’ men. Ya know he was my Bestfriend.” 

You nod “I’m sorry you couldn’t grieve cuz you had to take care of me. I know you were close and Joel-“ you reach for his face again, gently patting his cheek “- you meant soooo much to him, you know how I told you he’d basically chew my ear off telling me all about his super cool boss every night.” You smile sweetly at him trying to soothe the pain he must’ve felt at losing your father, his Bestfriend and then ultimately you as well.

The two of you sit down on the couch, which is now possible unlike 5 months ago when just looking at it made you sick, Joel sits down with a respectable distance from you. 

“So….you must have a million questions, shot?” You encourage him. “How far along, are ya?” 

“25 weeks to be specific, so only three more weeks and I’m officially 7 months.” You answer with a smile. 

A moment later “So ya were pregnant when you left, did ya know or..?” He questions.

“No, I didn’t know when I left. I didn’t think it would take at the first try. I chalked the whole throwing up thing up to the grief, you know?” 

He nods “Yeah, I get what ya mean…and how did you figure it out?”

“I didn’t. Sunny did, she thought something was off and had to drag me to the doctor. Did some tests and well I was 8 weeks already.” 

(Flashback beginning )

Sunny plopped down beside you on the couch 

“Ok we need to talk this is not normal anymore Moon.” 

You stared at her in question “ Why what’s wrong?” 

“Seriously.?? Let’s look at the facts: your periods have been missing for almost 3 months, you puke allllll the time, you eat the weirdest food combinations I’ve ever seen and….no offense but your tits have blown up, look at them.” As she points at your chest.

“Ok fuck you Sunny if you like looking at my tits you could’ve just told me and whats with my eating habits??”

“Baby you literally dipped pickles in Orange Sorbet for breakfast…you don’t see anything wrong with that, huh?” She laughs 

“Well I…I just really craved that”

“No baby, the little Miller fetus inside you craved that.” 

“Okkkkk then let’s go to the doctors office to see if you are correct or just imagining things.” As you flip her off while laughing. 

When the little white blob showed up on the screen, Sunny started yelling, of course she had to be right.

(Flashback over)

“Ya did all of it alone? I’m sorry Moon Girl.”

“Oh no, Sunny was there for each visit and she documented the whole process so you could have a chance at sorta having those memories too. You’re gonna be a Daddy Joel Miller” 

Tears well up in his eyes again “C…can I, ya know..?” While his eyes go to your belly.

You understand what he wants “Of course Joel, though you might not feel a whole lot…I think she’s asleep, which I can’t blame her for after the stressful ride over here.” You laugh gently. 

Joel’s gasp makes you look up 

“Y-y-yo…you said “she” it’s a girl, we’re having a little babygirl?” The tears slip down his cheeks again but this time he’s beaming with happiness as it happens. 

You take his outstretched shaking hand and place it on the top of your stomach. 

“Yeah a little Moon Babygirl, now imagine how Sunny freaked out when we got told, some of her cheerful screaming is probably caught in the video she took.” 

Joel’s crying intensifies so you motion for him to get closer and when his thigh presses against yours you pull him in for a side hug. His unoccupied arm slides around your lower back, hand resting on your hip, while his face slots right into your neck. 

“Sorry Baby I…I’m a mess.” He mumbles against the side of your neck.

“Shhh Joel, it’s ok, I got you. I got you Joel.” while stroking the back of his head. You give him the time to let it all out. 

Suddenly he perks up and pulls out your arms. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask 

“I…I think she kicked me, our baby kicked me..” he whispers. 

“Guess she knows it’s her Daddy needing some comfort, she’s done it for me too.” 

“How.?” 

“Whenever I couldn’t bare it anymore, she started kicking me as a distraction.” You continue “I believe she’s a gift from him, that sounds weird..” Joel just shakes his head no… “a purpose, something to keep going for you know?” 

“I know what ya mean Baby.” 

“Not that you were not enough but I..I - I just..” 

“It’s alrigh darlin, I understand you.” 

He gets up out of nowhere “I got something for ya, jus wait a minute sweetheart.”

As he heads up the stairs. 

When he comes back down he orders “Close ya eyes Moon.” 

“What, why?”

“Come on jus do it, trust me.”

You can feel him somewhere in front of you but you don’t know where exactly. 

“Open up.”

And there he is on his knees holding a small box up to you in it a beautiful engagement ring but instead of a normal shaped diamond it’s a moon shaped one. As if he had it made specifically for you.

You are completely stunned by the way he just wiped it out. 

J…j- Joel I..I don’t know what to say.” 

He jus shakes his head and looks at you softly “Moon ya don’t have to say anythin, I jus wanted you to have it.” 

You’re in sheer disbelief and only shake your head frantically. 

“m’ sorry that was too much I..I-“ but you cut him off

“Shut up I just needed a minute to process, yes Joel, yes I do.” You smile 

“W..what’d ya mean?” 

“Yes I want to Marry you Joel, not immediately but someday, ok? Put it on me.” You say as you hold out your hand 

Now Joel’s the one stunned but after collecting  himself he does just as you told him, he slides it on your left Ringfinger.

Once he’s done it you get up to admire the ring in the sunlight, you walk out onto the porch and hold your hand up to the Sun. 

You can hear his heavy steps coming up to you from behind, then you feel his muscular arms slide around your middle, his hands come to rest on the bump and his chin on your shoulder. 

You turn in his hold and place your palms on his broad chest. “I have to explain so much about why I left you and..and-“ 

This time he cut you off “I don’t care bout that right now, m’ jus happy to have ya back Moon. Can I kiss ya?” 

“Of course you can kiss me Joel.” That’s all the encouragement he needs before pressing his lips against yours and then again and again.

Suddenly he ask’s you something you did not expect “Ya got a name for Her in mind?” 

You pretend to think about the answer but then reply with confidence “I really like the name Matilda. What do you think of that?” 

Joel smiles amused “That’s a real pretty name for our Moon baby, darlin.“

You feel more content than ever before and you can feel him watching from above being happy as well to see you back in Joel’s arms. 

It’s them 🌌🌠:

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

Npt: @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @studioghibelli @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @almostfoxglove @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @iamasaddie @the-mandawhor1an @joelalorian @ace-turned-confused @clawdee @penvisions @rivnedell (honestly I’m pretty randomly tagging sorry) 🌠

[wrinkly-fucking-qtip]

i wonder how many times Ian visited Monica's grave when Mother's Day came around those years he still lived at the Gallagher House... if he went into stealth mode and left at hours that would allow him to come back early as fuck, no one batting an eye cause it's Ian. or if he actually never visited and waited till he moved out cause he knew Mickey would never judge him for that, Ian endlessly appreciative...

i was just imagining Ian asking Mick to come with him this time and they're there. he's sharing a moment. Just when they think they're alone, they hear Franny come to them, much older. Debbie appears and they're both shocked to see each other in this cemetery. Debbie asks him if it's the first time he comes around, so does Ian. cause after all, all the Gallagher kids felt her death, regardless of what they took from it and in different ways of course, but they felt it.

Debbie and Ian are at the receiving end of it. those two Gallagher, redhead, middle children definitely shared that unspoken "Monica" situationship, Ian's being more obvious ofc, and even more direct for obvious reasons.

idk, i just wonder...

[tothe1ighthouse]

TW: FEMICIDE please interact.

24 recorded femicides in Greece in 2022.

"We grew up in the houses, next to the houses, over the graves of the women who "fell down the stairs", who were "accidentally hit by a passing car", who "stumbled on the pavement", who "fell on the street". Femicides are not just news headlines. They are the women we lived with. We live with them. Every femicide speaks for all of us. It talks about our mothers, our grandmothers, our neighbors, our friends, our sisters. Every femicide is our story. They are our roots. It is the graves that crush us and unite us." - Valia Tsirigioti, greek sociologist.

2023 statistics haven't been published, yet in the past nine months there have been atleast 10 recorded cases.

Despite the country's femicide outbreak during the past decade, the term "femicide" hasn't been officially recognized by the government, hence hundreds of cases have been reported as "homicide" or " product of domestic violence" and contemptuously "passion crimes". If the families victims didn't insist on using the term femicide for their loved ones' murders , their names wouldn't have been heard.

Vasiliki, 54, Konstantina, 28, Caroline, 20, Elene, 64, Garyfallia, 24, Maria, 43, Monica, 42. These are some of their names. The rest of them were forgotten and barely talked about by the media.

Protests lead to bloodshed - sabotage and violence coming from the police.

We are scared that a protest might be the cause of another femicide. Female protests are the most peaceful and yet male intervention makes them the most violent .

My own country is betraying me, I live by the fear I'm going to be next.

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

every scene where ian doesnt appear with a shirt on someone has to comment on his tattoo and i HATE it. so many people are like “i don’t understand why he didn’t get it covered up🥺"… like, he’s poor? he was able to get it with his monica money (which they had to get back), and tattoos aren’t cheap. he had good intentions, it was to honor his mother, and he obviously went to a really shitty place or let the artist do whatever he wanted. we get it, it’s dumb that this gay dude has tits on his back, haha, but after a while it just gets annoying because you could be watching a really heartfelt scene of ian at monica’s grave and then the comments are just “TITTIES!!!”. shut up

[atthedugouts]

You know who should have helped dig up Monica's grave? Iggy. Iggy with his shovel. He could have supplied the shovels. I want to know his opinion on the dirt.

[lupeloto]

whatever you do, don’t think about the fact that mickey would have sat at monica’s grave with ian and listened to him talk about her and nod his head as ian got frustrated trying to explain why he even cared about her in the first place.

and even now, when ian starts thinking about her, mickey just listens. he doesn’t understand it but he’s able to listen without any personal experiences with her getting in the way of empathizing with him. he doesn’t know her, but he knows he doesn’t need to, he knows just needs to listen.

anyways, i need to lie down for several business days

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Cradle To Grave: Part Three

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Summary: Your experience in prison isn't what you thought it would be. You're feeling everything and you don't know if you'll be okay when you finally come out of it. Meanwhile, the team notices a change in Spencer as he tries his best not to miss you too much.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

The next morning, JJ is the first one in the station with Penelope on the phone. She didn't get much sleep last night much like the rest of the team. Her room is right next to Spencer's, and she heard him crying most of the night. She feels so bad for him. She wishes there was something she could do to either help you or make Spencer feel better. Her hands are tied, and she doesn't know how to get them untied. She has a coffee in her hand that she sips on as she talks to Penelope.

"I know it's a long shot, but Monica's parents said that she was heading west. Maybe she made it part of the way when she was kidnapped. Try running her DNA against adoption records in the surrounding states."

"I think you're brilliant! Hey, JJ, if we find this little girl, what's gonna happen to her?"

"If something illegal transpires during the adoption process, the court nullifies it, and the child gets returned to the closest blood relative. If it helps, I have met with the grandparents. They're wonderful people."

"Oh, I'm sure they are," Penelope sighs. "It's just... I don't know... I lost my parents. Granted, I was older than she was, but what got me through were the people closest to me. If Monica's daughter is with a good family, and we take her away from them..."

"Are we doing more harm than good?" JJ finishes for her with a sigh.

"Yeah."

"Garcia, I don't think we have a choice. These people have a right to their granddaughter."

"You're right. This just sucks."

Derek walks into the station, also on the phone. Hotch, Spencer, Emily, and Rossi follow right behind him.

"Yes, right away, please. Thank you." He hangs up and looks at the team. "That was CPS. I asked them to send over infant mortality files. It's another group for us to eliminate."

"Good," Hotch nods. He has a piece of paper in his hands with red markings all over it like annotations. Hotch brings Derek to an empty office to speak to him privately. "This is your profile. I disagree with your analysis."

"Hotch, are you serious? It's not a law review article, it's just something for us to brainstorm."

"You only focused on one angle, Morgan. That the prenatal drugs indicate the presence of a wife or a girlfriend. We need more options."

"Which I can give you once we make the proper deductions. Hotch, you're asking me to guess."

"Morgan, in order for the profile to be useful, it has to generate multiple scenarios about what the unsub is doing. Rewrite it," Hotch orders and hands the paper over to him.

Derek can't believe this but takes the paper without another word. JJ knocks on the door and pops her head in.

"We got Monica's daughter. She was adopted four years ago. Her name is Lisa."

"How did Garcia find her? She cross-referenced the entire New Mexico system."

"She isn't in New Mexico. She's in Arizona."

This opens up all new avenues. Hotch and Derek leave the office and join the others in the main room to discuss the case more.

"So, all the mothers were abducted and dumped in New Mexico, but he keeps the babies in Arizona. He knows the police with stop looking at the state line."

"The adoption agency's gonna be our best lead to the unsub. Who handled the case?" Hotch asks.

"That's bomb number two," JJ sighs. "She didn't go through an agency. She was dropped off anonymously at a church. Hospitals and churches are safe havens. You can drop a baby off, no questions asked."

"Child Protection Services would look for the closest relative."

"Another search that ends at the state line," Spencer says. "If CPS doesn't find one, the baby will go into foster care, which is what happened to Lisa. She was lucky. The adoption process happened within a month."

It makes him think of your parent's foster business and how children are getting adopted in weeks. It can happen, but not at the rate their children are. Thinking about your parents brings him back to you, and he grows sad once again.

"So, this unsub had the opportunity to make money off this infant. When he doesn't, he drops it off at a church because he knows the state will take good care of the child."

"That's awfully considerate," Emily scoffs.

"Outside the murder, nothing about this unsub's behavior profiles like a sexual sadist... As I wrote," Derek says and looks at Hotch.

"Yeah, Morgan's right. It's the actions of a caretaker or a mother. Could our unsub be a woman?" JJ wonders.

"Only a man would torture his victims this much. Men get off on this kind of violence. Women don't. He could be married, though, with his wife being a passive participant and taking care of the moms and babies."

"Alright, we need to split up. We'll give the profile to the Arizona and the New Mexico state police. Rossi, Reid, and Prentiss, I want you to head to Phoenix. Morgan, you're here with me. We'll finalize the profile."

Spencer gets up but his phone rings. He doesn't recognize the number but answers it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this a collect call from Virginia Correctional Center for Women for inmate Y/N. Press one if you'd like to accept the call."

"It's Y/N!" Spencer gasps and quickly presses the button. Everyone stops what they're doing to look at him. He holds his breath and waits to hear your voice. The call connects and he hears you breathing on the other line. "Y/N?"

"Spencer?" Your voice sounds so small, so distant that it breaks his heart. "Is that you?"

"I'm here. I'm right here. God, I miss you."

"I miss you, too," you sniffle. "How are you doing?"

"How are you doing? I wish I was there with you."

"I'm going to be fine, Spencer. I'm okay here."

"I love you so much. Please hold onto that."

You lean your head against the wall and let the tears fall. You try to keep your voice neutral so he doesn't sense how fucking scared you are.

"I know you do. I love you, too. I know you're worried about me, but I need you to continue to work on the cases Hotch sends you. I want you to use that big brain of yours to help people who need it."

"You need it. Who is going to help you?"

"Baby, I have faith that I will get out soon. I didn't kill those men, and I believe I will get justice. I will be home soon and in your arms before you know it."

"We're in New Mexico right now. I am going to visit you as soon as we are back in Virginia."

"Okay," you whisper. One of the guards calls your name to get you back to where everyone else is. "I have to go now. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

When you hang up, Spencer looks at everyone with tears in his eyes.

"Kid," Derek sighs.

"She's scared, Morgan. I could tell by the sound of her voice. She's scared out of her mind, and we work for a company that has the resources to help her. Screw my job if it means I can get her out of prison. Hotch?"

"You need to get to Arizona. We'll talk about it after."

Spencer is so frustrated and emotional but he doesn't want to make it worse or cause a scene. He grabs his jacket and leaves the station with Emily and Rossi following behind him. When the three agents get to Arizona, they gather the Phoenix PD to give the profile just as Derek and Hotch give it to the NMPD.

"The unsubs that we are looking for are a couple. Now, the man in the relationship most likely has a history of sexual violence. He started with stalking and then moved his way up to assault and rape. That violent streak ended temporarily when he found his wife. For the first years of their marriage, she submitted to his torture."

"Look for wives who came into the ER repeatedly with obvious signs of spousal abuse. You're gonna have to go back about five years because, around the time of the first abduction, the visits stopped. Sexual sadists can't find satisfaction from a willing participant," Emily explains.

"He eventually got to a place where he couldn't escalate his violence against her without killing her, so she made him a deal. He gets to kidnap, rape, and kill each of the runaways while she gets to keep the children. She's been giving the victims a series of prescription prenatal drugs, so you're gonna want to look at the obstetric fields such as nurses and OBs."

"The wife needs these children. At first, they were the lifeline that kept her alive. As long as he had other targets for his abuse, she avoided his rage," Rossi says.

"So, if these children protect her from abuse, why is she putting them up for adoption?" an officer asks.

"We believe the unsubs want children who resemble them physically, who no one would question as their own. All of the runaways have been blond which means the unsub may be as well, but the first child we found in the system was a brunette."

"Whatever the physical characteristic--the color of the eyes or the skin type--if the baby doesn't have it, he or she ends up in the foster care system," Rossi adds to Emily's point. "Wives of sexual sadists need outlets as a denial mechanism to cope with what their partners are doing."

"Motherhood, especially taking care of a helpless infant, is this woman's way of coping," Spencer says, his mind drifting back to your parents.

When the profile is done, JJ walks off to the side when she gets a message on her phone. Monica's grandparents are here and they are looking for answers. She walks outside to greet them, and they look at her with hopeful eyes.

"Have you found her?"

"Yes."

"How is she?"

"She's great. She was adopted by a young couple. No reports of physical or emotional trauma."

"When can we take her?" Conrad asks.

"Right now, we're in touch with her adoptive parents' lawyer, but the law is on your side."

"Can we talk to the parents? We could discuss this with them," Jane asks.

"They don't want to initiate contact. They've been through a lot right now."

A look of realization comes across Jane's face. Her smile falters and falls at the thought of taking her grandchild away from the only family she's ever known.

"They're her parents. Of course, they don't want to give her up."

"If she wants to see them, we can work that out. We're her family."

"What are the risks here? If we claim her, are we hurting her?" Jane asks JJ.

"It's impossible to tell. Some kids do great. Others have trouble."

"Why are we talking about risks? She's Monica's daughter," Conrad argues. "She's not their blood."

"Stop it," Jane hisses. "Thank you, Agent Jareau, but my husband and I need to discuss this."

Jane and Conrad leave the police station in quiet arguments, and JJ walks back inside the police station. She texts Spencer to ask how he's doing but he doesn't respond. He's been working hard to distract himself from thinking about you. He's working on the geographical profile when Rossi joins him. There is a map on the bulletin board with red and blue markings on it.

"What's this?"

"It's the pattern I've been looking for. The unsubs hid their tracks with the mothers, but they weren't so careful with the abandoned babies."

"Did you find more children?"

"DNA-wise, no but deductively, yes. I gathered all the records for all infants who entered foster care in a two-week window following each mother's death. Then, I narrowed it down to babies that were abandoned at churches. This is where the guesswork begins. Monica's daughter was abandoned at a Presbyterian Church. Let's assume the unsub, or the wife at least, is Presbyterian. That means all other unwanted children are gonna be left in the same denomination, right? That narrows it down to three babies left at three different Presbyterian Churches all within this twenty-mile radius. This is where they live."

Spencer points out the circle he's drawn on the map. Rossi grabs the files of the three kids and looks through them all.

"Have you looked at their files?"

"No. Right now, I've only been tracking churches. Why?"

"Because you just uncovered another pattern. These are all girls." Rossi calls Hotch immediately. "You guys need to come to Arizona. We found another pattern."

"Yeah, we're packing up now. We can be in Phoenix in two hours. What pattern did you find?"

"Reid found more children put into foster care. Lisa, Elizabeth, and Amanda. We profiled there'd be a type they'd keep and a type they'd put into foster care. They're keeping the boys."

"We'll be there soon."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[questionableratatouille00]

ᴍᴇᴀɴᴡʜɪʟᴇ, ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴀᴛ…

Pairing: Sambucky (Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes) 

Summary: The world is ending. Love is dead and lives are being destroyed. Anyway, here’s two guys.

Bingo Fill: ‘Meanwhile, On the Boat…’ on my ‘Vacation’ card for @sambuckylibrary’s sambucky summer bingo!

Warnings: minor character death, grief, sadness, themes of fear, Thomas the train.

Loki stood there, not sure what to say. Mobius..didn’t recognize him? This man—this man who had stuck his neck out for Loki, who had known basically every details of Loki’s existence—didn’t recognize him? 

He glanced out the large glass window at the statues of the Timekeepers. Except—it wasn’t the usual statue that stood there. It was He Who Remains—Kang. 

What was going on?

Bucky whistled as he worked with Sam. He tightened some bolts and held some nails. Sam told stories about his childhood—the goofy things, like when he took care of a stray cat for a solid three years. 

Bucky couldn’t help but wonder if somehow Sam was trying to allude to Bucky being like the stray cat. 

He didn’t really wanna unpack that. 

“You’re doing it wrong.” Bucky commented as he glanced at Sam, who was hunched over a bolt. 

“What? No, I’m not.” Sam huffed. 

“Yeah, you are. Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey. You’re loosening it.” 

“No—“ Sam looked down at what he was doing before chuckling to himself. “Man..” 

Wanda brushed her thumb against Vision cheek. She had just said goodbye to her boys—forever. Though the entire purpose of the Hex was to reverse death—it seemed like it only ended in it. 

“Well say hello again,” she whispered, knowing that if she attempted to speak any louder she would burst into tears. Her eyes were watering already. 

Vision was already beginning to fade away. And with him, her entire life. Everything she could’ve had—gone.

And merely a few moments later, it would be true. And she was alone. Again.

Seeing the concrete slabs where her future home had previously been made it all feel real. Because it was real. Deep inside her, she knew it was real. 

She knew this town would be better without her. The people would recover. The police would leave. Monica would move on. And she wasn’t worried about Agatha. As long as Wanda was alive, Agatha couldn’t hurt anyone ever again.

“Do you boys want pizza or burgers for dinner?” Sarah asked, looking between Sam and Bucky and her two sons. 

“Pizza!” The boys cheered, somehow perfectly synchronized. Sam looked to Bucky, who shrugged. Sam took a moment to assess whether or not it was a case of ‘Bucky still struggles to make choices and just doesn’t know what to do’ or ‘Bucky genuinely doesn’t have a preference’. Seemingly satisfied by whatever he’d seen from Bucky, Sam nodded. 

“I’m good with pizza,” he grinned.

Sarah nodded. “Perfect. Pizza it is.” 

“I wanted pizza too, thanks for asking.” Sam groaned dramatically.

“Oh, hush, you big baby. I know you. I know you would want pizza, especially since I’m getting it from Luis’s shop.” Sarah smiled, looking back as she walked towards her phone to..pre-order the pizza or whatever. Bucky wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yeah, but it’s the principle of it.” Sam grumbled. 

Bucky watched, a warm feeling in his chest.

After returning from Aunt May’s grave, he stopped in the coffee shop MJ worked at. He glanced at his two best friends—at his girlfriend and his brother, both talking about the college they were all meant to go to together. He stands awkwardly as he orders his plain coffee—he doesn’t even like plain, hot coffee. But if this is the closest he’ll ever get to be with them again, so be it. 

“No, just..coffee.” He says, his voice more rough and emotional than he wanted it to be. 

He could tell MJ and Ned. He knows he could. He doubts MJ would believe him, but Ned would be easy to convince. Ned—Peter could just say something that only Ned’s closest friend would know. And that would work. Surely. 

But he knows better than that. J. Jonah Jameson had said it himself: everyone who’s close to Spider-Man gets hurt. And Peter knows it. 

So maybe awkwardly ordering coffee he doesn’t like will be enough. And maybe he’ll just have to be okay with it.

“You need more t-shirts.” Sam said suddenly as he and Bucky continued working on the boat. 

“What?” Bucky gave him a disagreeing look. 

“I haven’t seen you wear a t-shirt this entire time. I know it’s hot as hell down here, and everyone in town knows you’re sweating. Your stench is like a blanket over the entire state.” Sam snickered. Bucky just rolled his eyes.

“That was..that was real mature, Samuel.”

“And I know you only using my full name ‘cause Sarah said it. But your middle name is literally Buchanan.” Sam shot back, a playful grin on his face. “Who names their kid James Buchanan? Shit, are you named after a president?” Sam’s brows furrowed as he noticed it.

“Okay, Samuel Thomas.” Bucky grumbled, adjusting the way he positioned his left hand to hold the nail. “Who are you? Thomas the train?” 

“I—how do you know about Thomas the Train?” Sam paused what he was doing, looking up at Bucky.

“Not this again.” Bucky rubbed his face with his right hand, feigning annoyance even as he held another nail for Sam. 

Yelena stood across from Clint, her eyes watering. “If I had been there, I could’ve done something, I could’ve stopped her—“ she began to spiral.

Clint shook his head. “Nothing was gonna stop her, ‘Lena. You know Natasha.” He said, his voice rough. His whole body ached. He couldn’t wait to go home. He didn’t wanna think about this, but part of him knew it was closure. For both himself and Yelena.

She let out a small squeak, accompanied by a few small sobs. 

“She made her choice,” he continued. “Now we’ve just gotta find a way to live with that.” 

“I loved her so much,” Yelena sniffled. Clint felt a familiar burning in his eyes, a lump in his throat. 

He looked up, nodding. “I know. Me too.” 

He looked down at his knees, before he noticed she was walking towards him. 

He heard her gun click. He silently sent an apology to his wife. And his children. Shit. His children. 

He glanced up at his soon-to-be-killer. Just to see that she had extended her hand to him. 

He took it, holding it for a moment as he gathered himself enough to stand up. 

He stood before her, looking down at her tear-stained face. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. She looked up at him, a sad, and silent rage in her eyes. She said nothing, merely turning around and walking away.

He supposed there was some sort of closure in that, too.

“What are we gonna do about Karli?” Bucky asked as he continued to paint even streaks across the surface. 

“I don’t know.” Sam answered, his brows furrowed. “Walker fucked up. Badly.” Sam doesn’t miss how Bucky bristles at the mention of the man. 

“Understatement of the year,” he grunted. 

“Right. Well, until we have a lead, there’s not much we can do.” Sam explains.

Bucky is silent at that.

“I’ve got Torres looking for those already.” Sam says, and he watches as Bucky nods in approval. 

“I can practically already read that cyborg brain of yours.” Sam jokes. 

Bucky mutters something under his breath, but it’s clear he doesn’t take offense to the slight tease.

Wanda collapsed to the floor, her wet cheeks and small sobs showing how distraught she was. Her terrified sons—no, they weren’t her sons at all—watched from the rubble of their home. It reminded her of her own childhood; the day her parents died. 

She was a monster. That was the truth. What had she done? 

She killed so many at Kamar-Taj, all of the Illuminati, and even all of the fighting with Stephen Strange. She had done nothing but destroy. Not to mention what she had intended to do to America Chavez. She traumatized her own—she traumatized children. 

What had she done?

The other Wanda, the bloody, beaten version of herself, crept toward her cautiously, ignoring the cries and pleas from her children. 

Wanda stood in front of the Scarlet Witch, before cupping her face gently. 

“Know that they’ll be loved,” was all she said. Her eyes were kind, understanding almost. It made sense, considering they had shared a consciousness for the majority of the day. Of course she had seen the Witch’s  thoughts. 

The Scarlet Witch let out another small sob as Wanda backed away and America began to close the portal. She knew what she had to do.

“Where the hell did you even find this stuff?” Bucky asked as he duct-taped the mat to the tree.

“Sarah had some old junk in the attic. I have no idea why she even had these, but she said we could use them.” Sam said from another tree, his own roll of tape in his hand.

Bucky nodded, amused. 

“Ignoring my own deep love for the environment, I think she’d actually kill us if we ruined these trees.” Sam said sarcastically. 

Bucky chuckled, moving on to another tree.

“Okay, how the hell are you doing this so fast?” 

“Genius and finesse.” Bucky snickered as he walked past Sam. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Sam huffed. 

graphics by @saradika-graphics

[bingo masterlist]

[mysteriousbp]

So I recently made this post that compared Kanako with another video game character. And I thought it would be funny to have people guess the character. And someone got it.

It was Spooky from Spooky's Jumpscare Mansion. Now I am just making this post to explain the comparisons.

"WELL… BOTH OF YOU ARE LITTLE GIRLS WHO WERE ACCIDENTALLY HURT VERY BADLY BY ONE OF YOUR PARENTS…"

This comparison was about how Ceroba used the syringe on Kanako, which ended up causing her soul to crack. While Spooky's father shot his daughter.

And technically, both girls had a hand in their pain. Kanako convinced Ceroba to use the syringe on her. While Spooky was tired of people not being scared of her on Halloween, so she decided to scare her father by using fireworks that caused him to have a war veteran PTSD attack. He then started to have hallucinations about disfigured German soldiers, and he grabbed a gun and started to shoot them, shooting Spooky by accident.

And also, both parents don't tell anyone about this. Ceroba just tells everyone that Kanako just fell down. While Spooky's father plants the gun on a homeless war veteran to take the blame. (Give these two a prize for the best parent award.)

"AND THAT SAID, PARENT TRIES TO FIX THEIR MISTAKES… EVEN IF THAT MEANS HURTING OTHER CHILDREN IN THE PROCESS…"

This comparison was about how Ceroba tries to find a pure soul to try to fix Kanako. While Spooky's father creates GL Labs to find a way to bring his daughter back.

And the part about hurting children is about how Ceroba tried to kill Clover. Meanwhile, Spooky's father and everything about the "Doll Project". In short, the "Doll Project" was a project trying to use dolls as containers to tether the spirits back to the earth. Many spirits were children who died. And let's just say that they weren't treated well by the lab staff... "When they act out, it's necessary to inflict pressure on the husk inhabited by the spirit. Don't forget that these dolls are not real people." - GL LABS ID 1210. And it's kind of implied that one of the children's spirits was killed by the staff. Because in the Hooked Doll's death scene, when you die to her, there's text saying, "A 'wicked nasty' child was thrown into a pit. No food, light, or water was ever given to it." and you find a pit in the area where you find the Hooked Doll. So it implies that the spirit inside the Hooked Doll was killed by the staff to be used as a spirit in the project. And Spooky's father, being the director of the project, also gets the blame for letting his staff do this.

"AND THAT SAID, PARENT HAS A DEAD PARTNER WHO HAS A DEATH WISH THAT IS IGNORED BY THE ALIVE PARTNER."

This comparison was about how Ceroba's husband, Chujin, is dead. While Spooky's father's wife, Monica, is dead.

The death wish part is about how Chujin didn't want Kanako to be involved in his work. While Monica wanted her husband to just let their daughter rest. "I'm still going to try to save our daughter. I know it's not what you wanted, but I've already gone too far." -Spooky's father.

And it's kind of funny how Ceroba and Spooky's father only respect the parts that don't involve their children. Like Ceroba follows with Chujin's wish to finish his work. While Spooky's father respects Monica's wishes and let's her rest. "Although it was difficult, I've respected your wishes and let you rest." -Spooky's father.

And another thing is that you visit their graves in the games. And they are located in garden areas.

"AND BOTH OF YOU ARE ALIVE, EVEN THOUGH YOU TWO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD. AND BOTH OF YOU WERE STUCK IN BUILDINGS THAT YOU GIRLS COULDN'T LEAVE."

This comparison was about how Kanako was kept alive by being transformed into an Amalgamate. And how Spooky was bought back has a ghost.

And the part about them being trapped in a building is about how Kanako was trapped in the True Lab. While Spooky's spirit is tethered to the mansion itself, so she can't leave.

"AND BOTH OF YOUR DADS DID EXPERIMENTS WITH CHILDREN SOULS."

This comparison was about how Chujin did experiments with Integrity soul. While Spooky's father being the director of the "Doll Project".

Another comparison that I made is that in Spooky's story mode, you find a GL Labs facility in room 120. And later in the game, you find another GL Labs facility deeper underground in room 610, which has its power out, so you need to find the generator to leave this facility. Which is kind of like Undertale. You find a lab, that later in the game you find out that has another lab under it, and the power goes out, making you go find the generator to leave that second lab.

And in the first lab, you get attacked by a monster that comes through a hole that they made. And both of these monsters were tecnically developed by scientists.

While in the second lab, you get ambushed by the creatures living around there when you turn the power back on to leave.

When I first made this comparison in my head, I just thought, "Huh. That's funny." But the more time I spent thinking, the more I realized that there's a lot more comparison between the Ketsukane family and Spooky's family… And I don't know if I'm stretching these comparisons or not...

Anyway. Have this drawings that I made of Spooky and Kanako cosplaying as each other. And the Amalgametes haging out with some of the creatues of Spooky's.

[elposting]

... ABOUT ME ‼︎ ″ she reaches from beyond the grave to make good men her wicked slaves . ″ — 🥡💒🐭🎀

𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗢𝗗𝙐𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 〖 ☺︎ 〗— gail/alaina ¸ seventeen ... she & her prns ∷ leo ! enfp , active acc, DMS AND ASKS OPEN AND WELCOME !!!

𝗠𝗬 𝗕𝗟𝙊𝙂𝙎 〖 ☘︎ 〗— library & storage / side blog . + liveblogging and reactions & . popularmmos fanblog [ ABANDONED ] 𝗟𝗜𝗡𝙆𝙎 〖 ☯︎ 〗— archive of our own .

𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝘄𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙨 — stranger things . & six ⁺ ride the cyclone ! & . rpf + multifandom old works .

⟢ ₍ 🐇 ₎ ″ 𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘮𝘢 : fear street ( 94, 78, 66 ) - saturday night live - stranger things - the office - the good place - barbie - the hunger games - five nights at freddy's - friends - the tudors - only murders in the building - south park - heathers - community - the middle - alice in borderland - class action park - mamma mia - squid game - dirty dancing - mean girls - bring it on - dance moms - spree - back to the future ...

⟢ ₍ 🎟 ₎ ″ 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤 & 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘳𝘦 : taylor swift - harry styles - clinton the musical - in the heights - beetlejuice - heathers - bo burnham - hamilton - sabrina carpenter - olivia rodrigo - billy joel - abba - little shop of horrors - mean girls - bring it on - six - chappell roan - the book of mormon - & juliet - falsettos - ride the cyclone

⟢ ₍ 🐚 ₎ ″ 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘴 : taylor swift, winona ryder, steve martin, kyle mooney, kristen bell, indina menzel, david harbour, andrew rannells, beck bennett, kerry butler, trey parker, matt stone, colin jost, olivia rodrigo, lindsay lohan, john mulaney, monica lewinsky, sadie sink, rainn wilson, rory o’malley, angela kinsey, christian borle, bo burnham, jennifer lawrence, kevin clay, chappell roan

[answer2jeff]

the fatherhood theory:

my take on lip gallagher finding purpose in parenthood.

First things first, I quickly want to congratulate the writers for beautifully articulating the accuracy of Lip's initial reaction to Freddy's birth.

Tami had an extremely complicated birth that resulted in her requiring surgery. Lip, both as a new father and as a boyfriend, was legitimately terrified. He couldn't decide if he should stay with Tami or their son. His thought process probably included the possibility of the mother of his child suffering, further trailing to the fear of fatherly absence. Naturally, considering Lip's lack of a genuine father figure, contributing anything remotely resembling neglect or failure to accommodate to his son feels like the worst and most unforgivable thing he could ever do.

Secondly, I want to say that although Tami is quite different compared to Lip's other love interests, I think she was relatively realistic at the time. She has drive and compassion, and Lip loves a good sarcastic girl who affectionately ridicules the guy she loves. She's abrasive in a way that is more meant to establish her intelligence rather than actually put others around her down. Tami is also terrible at accepting criticism, but doesn't respond in the explosive anger that Lip does. She's more passive aggressive than, well...aggressive aggressive. Even though it's not quite the healthiest, it's much more flexible than rage.

In short, Lip sees a lot of himself in Tami. But, she's a more put together, determined version of him. She's the star that Lip never really turned out to be, even if she's not absolutely perfect. Their relationship is accurate for the conditions of the show (and Lip's life.) Tami doesn't give Lip a lot of opportunities to self sabotage because she's pretty much dubbed herself the lead of their relationship.

(not ignoring the fact that she said he'd be a shitty father by the way. that crushed my soul and i'll never forgive her but that's besides the point.)

Having to decide to let professionals (doctors and nurses, who he notoriously does not trust (rooted by capitalistic healthcare environments and the need for independence due to his childhood trauma), try their best to help Tami when she was literally blue and unresponsive, was difficult and extremely scary.

However, once Freddy has been properly cleaned and prepared to be held by his father, Lip suddenly finds the answer to so many of his interpersonal questions.

"I seem to have ruined everything I was once good at. Is there anything I won't automatically ruin just because I don't think I deserve it?"

Fatherhood.

"Would I be any better at this than my parents were?"

Yes, with practice.

"Would I be able to break the cycle?"

Yes, with love.

"Is it necessary for me to feel so deeply about the world?

Yes. Even if it's painful.

"And was it ever worth hiding that with anger?"

To some extent, yes. You wanted to protect yourself.

"Am I, deep down, past my inevitable quickness to rage, a good person?"

Yes. You always have been.

In hindsight, his excitement for becoming a dad seems kind of obvious considering his overjoyed and emotional reaction. But I think we can dig deeper beyond this surface level impression. Even if it's genuine and ultimately very good at showing Lip's love for his son. Something that I think really prepared Lip for the complications of parenthood was the time period during his time as a college student taking care of Liam.

He'd been surrounded by family members for his entire life that he did not trust. When Fiona, his beacon of support throughout his whole childhoo despite their complicated sibling relationship, made such a grave mistake that reflected neglect, Lip felt unsafe. Both Frank and Monica were typical offenders of drug and alcohol abuse. And they regularly dabbled in allowing these substance issues to affect their children.

Now there was really nobody in his family he could trust. Lip would have to re-learn how to fend for himself and his family. He's had plenty of experience, but he had a support system. Even if it contained his own siblings who lived the same abusive life as he did. But now that he didn't trust anyone around Liam, he literally had to become his primary caregiver.

"You're the closest thing to a dad we've ever had," said Ian Gallagher.

Becoming Freddy's father was the love that Lip needed in his life. Girlfriends are replaceable. Lip has proven this. But he always believed that once you become a father, you do not have the right to back out. And he'd always hold himself to that standard.

This is your life now. Do it right, or go to hell.

People like Lip need to have people in their lives who unconditionally rely on them. His siblings have chosen many times (and rightfully of course) to handle personal matters without Lip's advice. He hasn't gotten to feel as needed or as important as he deserved to be. Having a child, though unexpected, was the missing piece to the endless puzzle that was his life's purpose.

Lip's desire to be a good father not only stemmed from the failure of his own parents, but the fact that guiding his siblings through life was the one thing that everyone around him that everyone was convinced he couldn't do better than anyone else. (Personally, I think Fiona did a great job as an older sister. I'm more speaking from the perspectives and opinions of his siblings.)

Lip will feel love for himself through Teddy. Once he can finally succeed for the long term, he will find peace.

Not to say that he's automatically perfect, because he's not (and no one else is), but he's ready to take on the challange.

Freddy is the love of Lip's life.

And he always will be.

[redwiccanrobin]

(TW: abuse, neglect, emotional manipulation)

Inspired by a post from @m4ndysk4nkovich, go give her love.

When I first started Shameless, I had someone tell me about Monica. They said she wasn’t a bad person per say, it was just Frank’s influence. Frank just dragged her down into the trenches. After her introduction I soon became confused by this statement. Frank is a horrible person, yes. But Monica had a choice to make; stay and be a mother or leave them behind to have her oldest daughter raise them in her place. She chose the latter. She’s a grown woman with agency and she left them. Left them to be abused by her husband.

Later, this same person and I were having a conversation. They sent me this scene and said how Monica had the best of intentions. At first, I was inclined to believe that. Then I sat with this scene, thought of the language that Monica used. Then I turned angry. I turned angry because I realized what a horrible scene this was. Her speech to Ian riffed with manipulation and her ever-present victim complex, trying so desperately to pass it on to her son.

I think Monica saw an opportunity and seized it. Excited that her son is as “crazy” as she is. She’s an utterly self-obsessed woman; saw a chance to create another version of her. She told Ian that no one was going to love her like she did. Told him that Mickey wanting him to get better and take his medication wasn’t love. I know that the person who spoke kindly of Monica would be furious if it was Mickey that used that language on Ian. Would have said it was toxic and abusive. Yet, it’s fine when Monica does it.

One of the saddest things about those words she spoke to Ian in that kind tone of hers was that they worked. Damn it all to hell, they worked. He comes home defeated, feeling like it was true. His siblings and Mickey didn’t love him anymore. He even said to Mickey, “You used to love me.” Monica got so deep in his head that he believed Mickey, this boy who was kind, patient, and caring to him simply fell out of love with him.

Monica doesn’t love Ian for Ian. She loves Ian for the ways that she sees herself in him. She’s an abusive mother. She’s a manipulative mother. She’s a neglectful mother. A mother who blows into their lives every now and again only to leave, behind her a path of destruction that they have to fix. Frank may have been more loud about his abuse. He may have even caused more harm to his children, but that doesn’t mean Monica didn’t have a hand to play. She hurt her children and never cared enough to truly fix it.

I sympathize with Monica for the fact that she struggles with mental health issues. But, at the end of the day, she chose not to take care of it. As silly as it sounds, I’m proud of Ian for the way he turned out. Those words no longer wrapped around him, he took care of himself for the most part. He did make a horribly grave mistake in season 8 and stopped taking his medication, but he admitted it, apologized for the hurt he caused. Monica may have dreamed and hoped that Ian was going to be an extension of her. But he’s not, he’s Ian Gallagher; a loving brother, uncle, husband. A man who works everyday to take care of himself not only for himself but for those he holds dear.