#Mod Zero is a very happy girl

[seiya234]

happy tauniversary

this post is kind of late, because i was out with my kid all day at the corn maze.

a lot has changed since we started TAU

ten years ago I had been in maryland all of two months. my then-fiancee and i had moved from texas, where we both had lived our entire lives. i was not only planning our wedding (in texas!) but i was also starting my ph.d.

to say that i had a lot going on would be a huge understatement.

i had just gotten into gravity falls via tumblr- shout out to whoever made a gif set from 'the hand that rocks the mabel'- when i ran across zoey's original two to three posts. to this day i couldn't entirely tell you why my brain seized on this au, other than it did and it immediately went into hyperfocus mode.

before TAU, i hadn't really written any fanfic except for some discworld au and some drabbles here and there. but a post about future niblings really inspired me and before i knew it i was writing.

i started messaging @zillychu a LOT and god bless their heart they humored me and answered back. after about a month of accumulated posts they created the blog and began to mod it with @homebeccer and @ghostfiish . There was a brief period where @zillychu was thinking about stepping back from the blog and because i was an extremely over eager beaver, i practically kicked down the door of their inbox and begged to be a mod.

the rest, as they say, is history.

i had absolutely zero idea that this would last ten years. when i joined, i had no idea that we'd have a skype channel and then two (two!) discords, that there would be a wiki, that there would be fanvids and tiktoks and cosplay and of course the literal terabytes of fic and art.

to this day, it still thrills me to no end that y'all make art and fic of my OCs. never in my wildest dreams as a tiny baby weeb would i have ever thought that THAT would be a possibility.

a lot has changed for me in these ten years. i got married. i recently got divorced. i had a baby, and now that baby is a big girl and in kindergarten. it took dont-ask-how-long but i finally got the ph.d and now shamelessly introduce myself as Dr. Seiya everywhere i go.

and i made friends. @haberdashing and @avafalls from our early days (hey habby and avagator!) @skia-oura sent me a beautiful baby kimono from their home in Japan and I still have the beautiful log and flower arrangement @oreramar made me one christmas. (the hot chocolate is long gone lol) i've enjoyed so very deeply getting to know @toothpastecanyon, @feferipeixes and @avespecora (sorry i missed the eclipse!) i almost got detained at the canadian border for @marypsue (spoiler alert, don't tell canadian immigration you're staying with a friend from the internet but you don't know their home address)

the blog almost got deleted. we've had mods come and go as life happens and moves on. the blog is old enough i've been able to see trends happen, and characters become popular, fade away... then coming roaring back again. i've personally told the mods two times that i was stepping back from the blog For Real For Real (for real this time) because life was catching up to me and I just wasn't as in to it as I used to be only to come slinking back like the dirty liar I am. i see in your notes all the time that you all have been reading this since you were tweenagers which ngl does make me feel the cold breath of the grave on my mid-thirties back but also warms my heart.

@transcendence-au changed my life, and for the better.

thank you @zillychu for making a random one off hc post that exploded into something i don't think you could have ever predicted.

and thank you all (yes, you. you in the back. i like your shirt.) for your support and your love.

[missvoicecrack]

~Disney Villian Legacy Challenge~

I love how random the Disney Princess Legacy Challenge is, but I kind of dislike how there isn't a lot of focus on all of the ICONIC villains of the stories!

So, I came up with a list of Disney villains that are related to the protagonist either biologically or through marriage. This isn't play-tested, but it's too fun not to share. This challenge would have you be VERY involved with ALL of the members of the Family.

BASE GAME FRIENDLY

Gen 1 - Hades 

Jealous, annoyed, and DONE with his younger brothers, Zeus and Poseidon, Hades finally has enough and decides to move out of the Family home and achieve his dream of being a writer! Maybe along the way, he’ll find love (or something close).

Start as an Adult 

Traits 

Evil 

Mean

Hot-Headed

Requirements 

Reach the top of the Writing Career and write the Book of Life

Reach level 5 in the Spell Casting if you have it

Have NO friends 

Never date before marrying Persephone (Freelance Botanist/gardener/florist) - Can be an arranged marriage or true love. (She is NOT Zeus's daughter!! (Demeter is a family friend of Hera))

Have NO biological children  (in correspondence with most interpretations of the myths). You can cheat Hades to have Zero fertility or  have him never Woo-Hoo

Adopt ONE  Teen daughter, Megara, or Meg.

Have a negative relationship with Meg. Leave all the child-rearing to Persephone.

Take in your Niece and Nephew Triton and Ursula once she’s aged up to teens.

Build a NEGATIVE relationship with all your siblings, nephews, and nieces.

Once Upon A Time:

 Finally out on his own as a successful man with his beautiful wife Persephone and his daughter Megara, Hades finally feels right in the world until he gets the call from his sister-in-law Hera that his brother Posideon has died mysteriously from eating poorly made pufferfish and left behind two runts Triton and Ursula! No one else in the family wants them, so you begrudgingly invite them into your home. Triton is just as annoying as your late brother, but you and Ursala get on fairly well here, also having the evil trait. She seems to be a little spell caster, too!

Gen 2 - Ursula

Ursula has always been an ambitious young lady who wants to be on top of the world! 

Start as a Teen

Traits

Evil

Loner

Flirty

Requirements 

Reach the top of the Mixologist career

Achieve a Terrible Reputation

Achieve the Mansion Baron aspiration

Be an A student 

Make at least TWO friends

Have at least SIX pet fish

Have a Maximum of TWO children. Have a daughter the same age as Ariel

Give the child the Evil trait

Have a negative relationship with Triton and all seven of his daughters 

Kill Three of your nieces, including Ariel 

Once Upon A Time: 

Having been ignored by her father while he was still alive Ursula’s learned how to take care of herself and is off in the city making a (bad) name for herself!

Her twin Triton, having inherited all of their father's money as his favorite child Triton, never has to work a day in his life! So he’s shacked up with some girl named Athena and is shaggin his way to have a school of SEVEN guppies! Athena’s a bitch, though,, and Ursula couldn’t have been happier when she died young. :)

A few years later when, Ursula finds out that her youngest niece has gone off and fallen in love with some boy whose already got a girlfriend. HER daughter! She’s had enough taken from her by her brother and his family!  She’s not going to let this little mermaid girl take this from her daughter! A happy ending for her and her little girl. 

With Pack

Achieve the “Purveyor of Potions” aspiration.

Curse Ursula

 Have Posideon prefer Trioton for being a mermaid, unlike Ursula taking after her mother as a spellcaster instead of being a mermaid

Gen 3 - The Evil Queen 

Start as a Young Adult

Traits

Evil

Jealous

Hates Children 

Requirements

Achieve the Fabuoulsy Wealthy Aspiration

Can only make money from partners - If possible, use a sugarbaby mod

Max out the Mixologist Skill 

Build a positive relationship with a Bird

Get married and kill your First Spouse  

With any past spouse, have Two Sons (the fewer children, the better) Give one child the Angelic Trait and the other the Evil Trait.

Kill Snow’s Father once she’s a child

Gain a Terrible Reputation

Become enemies with Snow White

Kill Snow White when she becomes a Teen and gets a partner

Once Upon A Time 

Having been raised by The Sea Witch herself, little Lucille grew up learning from her mother how to be the baddest bitch around town. Seeing the way her Aunt Persephone thrived, having married a rich man, Lucille decided she wanted to marry rich too! But maybe more than once…

Learning from her Mother that violence really is the way to go, Lucille becomes a black widow in her first marriage. The second try really is the charm! Lucille has achieved the life of luxury she’s always wanted! Now she can kick back her feet and have a nanny for those annoying children she somehow managed to keep around from a past marriage.

Gen  4 - Scar

Start as a Young Adult

Traits

Evil

Genius

Ambitious

Requirements

Become Enemies with Muphasa

Reach the Top of the Criminal Career

Kill Mufasa once Simba becomes a child

Date Two Sims 

Discuss evil plans twice

Have Three Sons

Have Kovu with one Sim - Have John and Richard with a different sim

Convince the mother of Simba to marry you

Build a negative relationship with Simba after marriage

Kick Simba out once he’s a Young Adult

Marry Kuvo off To Nala

Have Richard and John's Mother die once they become Children

Once Upon A Time: 

Like his Grand-Uncle Hades, Scar constantly feels upstaged by his Brother Muphasa. Scar ends up a bad egg with no guidance from his mother while his Brother Muphasa somehow blossoms. 

Not being able to join a Business career like his brother Scar turns to crime. Along the way, he has a few love affairs and ends up with three boys. Selfishly Scar wants the ‘best’ for his sons and goes on to murder his brother and takes his place as the ‘Man of the House’. Moving in, his son's Scar lives a good life having taken everything from his Brother. 

Gen 5 - Prince John (Robin Hood)

Start As A Young Adult

Traits 

Evil

Materialistic

Childish

Requirements

Fulfill the Fabulously Wealthy Aspiration

Become Friends with both nieces

Gain a Terrible Reputation

Work on NO skills

Live off of your House Funds ONLY

Treat your nieces like Princesses

If you have the pack, become a landlord

Max out your relationship with your Mom

Kill your niece, Marian’s first partner

Collect at least 3 Magic Beans

Once Upon A Time

History repeats itself once again as John finds himself very jealous of his hotter, more successful, and kinder brother, Richard. John decides to be his father's mini-me and get rid of his brother, but not by death. Locking his brother away in the attic, John takes all of the family wealth and enjoys a lavish and comfortable life. Except for the two daughters he left behind… They’re kind of cute, though…

Gen 6 - Lady Tremaine 

Traits

Evil

Mean

Snob

Requirements

Achieve the Mansion Baron Aspiration

Only make money off of your Spouse

Only move out once Married

Have a max of Five bio-children

Have Three Daughters. Give All the mean trait

Remarry a Wealthy sim who has a daughter

Cinderella's Father must die once they age up into a Child

Sell all of your “Cinderella’s” parents things

Become Enemies with Cinderella

Marry one or both of your bio children off to a rich Townie, i.e., Landgrab, Goth, Caliente, etc.

Work Cinderella to Death

Once Upon A Time

Having been raised in privilege, Young Elanor has gotten very accustomed to the high life but doesn’t want to stay in her family's home forever. Too bad working is for the poor… maybe she should marry rich?

Gen 7 - Meredith Blake 

Traits

Mean

Materialistic

Non-commital

Requirements

Achieve the Vilianous Valintine Aspiration

Max out the Charisma skill

Reach level 3 of the Fitness skill

Marry a sim with Two Daughters

Have a Negtative relationship with your Step-Children

Have NO bio-children

Convince Spouse to Move out all of their children

Once Upon A Time

Marrying for money seems to be a tradition in Meredith's family, and she’s always been up for a Family activity. Meridth is a hot young woman who knows it! Now, she wants to put what her Mama gave her to work. 

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Commonly ask questions

So since a lot of people are asking me some questions in regards to this blog, I'll post those questions and [Here] are questions from the previous blog but I'll answer questions here so if any of you are curious you can come here, anyway let's begin;

'Why did you decide to make a new blog, what happen to the old one?'

Well I notice my old blog hasn't appear in searches on tumblr and I haven't gotten any ask at all thanks to tumblr's messy system so I decided to make a new blog among other reasons.

'So your rebooting the entire series? Why?'

I felt like my old blog was getting very bloated and clutter that I was confusing myself so I figure I restart it, do a major Re-Write and keep the story more consistent with the games and talking with Mod Honey and @commander-bubbles-the-first on Discord of our issues with Danganronpa 3 as a whole so this is mostly a full on Re-Write, which includes removing some characters.

'So given this is a Re-Write and you mention your removing characters, who in canon are you removing?'

I am going to keep the characters from Trigger Happy Havoc, Goodbye Despair, Ultra Despair Girls and allude Danganronpa: IF, Danganronpa Zero, Killer Killer, Danganronpa Kirigiri, Danganronpa Hagakure, Makoto's Worst Day Ever, Kirigiri SAO and maybe make some jabs at Danganronpa Togami

As for Danganronpa 3... I am going to be removing some characters but if curious of who's staying, these are the guys;

In regards to DR3, I do want to limit the cast down and expand on these guys as they are pretty underutilized which I do want to expand on them and some are going to be shifted around but yeah, this will be the characters from DR3 that are going to appear... speaking of that...

'Are your OCs/Fangans going to appear on this blog? Who's getting shafted?'

As in regards to fangans, I'm going to have the Another and SDRA2 series because I feel it fits into the series pretty well and with them included somethings make sense and that's the only fangan I'll keep and of course the OCs I made to represent Class 77-B family along with Nagi and her family and OCs from my own fangan is only going to be Masa, Akira, Hideyoshi, Hisao, Estu, Sunako, Mayumi, Tomoe, Eito and Kimika, Yokoyoko and Kojikoji's Classmates and even ASOOT's Kyoji, Umeko and Ai but for any new characters... well... I think I'm going to leave that a surprise. 8P

'What changes are going to be made?'

Well I won't say what is going to happen but I think I'll safely say this... there won't be any killing game, so if your expecting people to die then I'm sorry but that won't happen and I'm also going to not include brainwashing and make Junko to what she was hyped up as but also give her some actual flaws and also re-work her idealogy a bit.

'So why is it taking so long with the changes and when will you start?'

I do plan to start when I finish looking up some material and doing some research while also making sprites, so please be patient with me - thank you.

-TBA-

[fyrathegirlwhohaslivedmanylives]

Coming out as a fictionkin and new start

Hi Iam have not been active on here for ages and so I decided to make this post as way share awareness and hopefully find other people who are as one and as new start for me on here. What say may sound crazy to some people and please don’t bully for who Iam and if you do I will block you.

Here a bit at me.

I go by the name Fyra but I also go by my current shift name please(I explained more later the post and I put my current shift’s name as my username )

I am transgender girl who has ADHD and autism.

My pronouns are she/her/them/they

I am fictionkin.

I have been part of the otherkin and fictionkin community for about just over 3 years.

I have strong believe in the supernatural and I believe I reincarnated several times in many different realities.

I am also psychic I can sense supernatural beings,entires and Interdimensional beings.

I also can sense someone personality before they even talk me and I can see peoples aura.

I am very creative person I love drawing, love cosplaying

I am love anime and manga and I very like video games.

When I was little I always felt different and I never truly felt human.

When I diagnosed with Autism I thought that possibly part of the reason I few that.

But I then hear about otherkins about for a interview with otherkins video I few years got me thinking.

That I could be otherkin but I don’t think more about after that.

About around the middle of 2020 I decided to start looking into otherkins and I then discovered fictionkins. Then I realised I was fictionkin as I started awakening my first kin Alissa and it when on for their.

I then decided join a few different otherkin and fictionkin Animos originally out curiosity and to see if I could find anyone who could help me discover if who I was and then over time I awaken more kins.

As I learned more and discovered that I am fictionkin.

I as started awakening my kins and more find about myself.

I started feeling more complicated and happy.

I hope to meet more people who have similar beliefs and possible even kin for the same canon as me.

I hope make some freinds and discover more myself.

I made this post as way of make awareness of otherkin and fictionkins and please feel to ask any questions even in comments or in pms.

I am planning making more posts about my experiences and memories I have of pastlifes.

Anyway I am going on.

Here my My kin list

Sarvente from FNF mod Sarvente’s mid-fight masses

The Girlfriend from Friday night Funkin(possibly the version from Hipno’s lullaby mob)

Alissa (my true self)

Bela Dmittrescu from Resident evil village

Alternate version Lady Dmittrescu from Resident evil village

Donna Beneviento and Angie from Resident evil village

The creepypasa Clockwork

Queen Juno from Grand summoners epic event Story called Knights of Blood: zero.

Ryuko Matoi and Nui Harime from kill la kill

Raphtalia and Filo from rise of the shield hero

dragon kin link to miss kobayashi's dragon maid

Kumoko from I am an spider so what?

Albedo, Shalltear Bloodfallen and Entoma Vasilissa Zeta () from overlord

The Hooked Doll from spooky’s jumpscare Mansion DLC Spookys Dollhouse

18 Reaper nurse from Dark deception chapter 4 Torment therapy

Poppy,Mommy long Legs(aka Experiment 1222/Marie Payne and not canon version similar to version of her show in the gametoons animations),Catbee from Poppy’s playtime

2B,A2 and Simone from NeiR: Automata

Alia the Explorer that live an in reality similar to the world of minecraft and who infected by sculk

Demon that is member of the Superd tribe from mushoku tensei jobless reincarnation

Someone possibly kitsune or angel from supernatural (or just a kitsune in General)

The darkness/Amara from supernatural (not 100% confirmed her as a kin yet but I more confident I do)

Yuira the dullahan

Roxanne Wolf(my soul possessed her Endoskeleton and I was child called Emelia)from Five nights at Freddy’s security beach

Glamrock Mangle from fnaf sb

All the witches of sin(Satella the witch of Envy, Daphne the witch of Gluttony, Minerva the witch of wrath, Echidna the witch of greed, Typhon the witch of pride, Sekment the witch of sloth and Camilla the witch of Lust) and Rem from Re:zero

Fio from NieR:Reincarnation(not 100% sure I kin or possibly Lavania but I feel the connection to him taken her form)

Zero, One, Two, Three, Four and Five from Drakengraud 3(Not fully confirmed One,Two,Three,Four and Five as kins yet but I confident I kin them all not 100% yet)

Kainè from NieR

Paimon , Amber , Sandrone as known as The Puppet and Greater Lord Rukkhadevata(just confirmed her for an unexpected way) and Nilou(basically me to almost to a T) from Genshin Impact

Dust from Re ZombieGirl S sisters(very confusing shifts)

Clara Maria and Esther Winchester(not 100% confirmed as kin yet) from Cuphead(just confirm her as kin)

Sally from Nightmare before Christmas

Emily from Tim Burton The Corpse Bride

Twisted Alice/Alice Angel/Suise Campbell from Bendy and the ink machine/Bendy and the ink machine dark revival. Audrey Drew from Bendy and the Dark Revival (newest conformed kin and I have not 100% confirmed her yet.)

Nikusa from FNF:entity mod and meet Nikusa mod

The Mourning Flowers Witch Natasha from Memento Moir

Monika and Natsuki from Doki Doki Literature Club I have not yet fully confirmed them as kins still kinsinding them as kins)

I will make a post for each of my kins and the experiences and memories I had related to them.

Well see you all in my next post bye for now.

(sorry if this post seems all over the place I edited this post for my Fictionkin Animo bio and I did rush it a bit.)

[elsternwick-rp]

Elsternwick Holiday Update (12-22-23)

Good evening, and very happy holidays to everyone! We hope the past few months have treated you all well, we have been very busy these past few weeks, but we're finally ready to post an update to those who follow us, or have just stumbled upon us in the search results!

Quite a few things have happened in Elsternwick since our last update covering the Autumn Update, and what better day to update things than on the Winter Solstice? Let's begin!

Terrible Tundra of Tiny Terror (Holiday Update) {December 2nd - February 2nd)}

A chill wind blows through the river town of Elsternwick, a blizzard settled over the town as odd occurrences within the nexus coincided at the worst possible time...

It's winter, yes, but something is truly odd around town! Besides the feet of snow and blistering cold, you spy odd footprints within the snow, giggling behind every corner, as well as small claw marks here and there.

Not only that, but attempts to leave Elsternwick are thwarted, should you go beyond the mountains to the east, or the deepest parts of the woods to the west, you'll instead be transported to a vast tundra filled with strange creatures of all shapes and sizes...

Whatever plagues the area have one thing in common...

They are all very small, and you may just be as tiny before you know it!

Welcome to Elsternwick's third annual Holiday update!

As with our previous Autumn event, this time we decided to have a central theme to allow for sandbox work, the theme this year, as you may have guessed, are tiny terrors!

Killer dolls, mischievous gremlins, the Yule Lads and Krampus' little helpers, as long as they are tiny, they'll be causing trouble for the Winter Season in Elsternwick!

Though, if you're feeling more adventurous, perhaps you can take a journey into the titular Tundra of Tiny Terror, whenever you enter, you can explore to find strange creatures, beautiful treasure, and of course, various rewards, but be warned, for its odd properties may cause creatures that are normally small to become big problems!

If you'd rather avoid your muse getting launched out of a window, you can instead opt to turn your muse small, perhaps into a living doll, as a small animal, or perhaps something else tiny, it's all up to you!

As with most of our events, this is a sandbox style event where you can participate however you like, we look forward to how you'll engage with it in a creative manner!

(As before, the Terrible Tundra is something of an open area with extra incentives for rewards if you're feeling like having an adventure!)

This event will run until the end of January, so you have plenty of time to get creative, think big, or small, it doesn't matter, we look forward to what you have in store!

If you wish to run an encounter, don't be shy, simply let people know and the mods will let you run loose as long as it's within reason!

Don't get cold feet, we're sure you'll do great in this event!

Secondly, we have a character update to sort through, so let's get to that!

New Arrivals (12-22-23)

The train has pulled into station, bringing with it many fresh new faces to Elsternwick, we hope you enjoy your stay here!

Grand Admiral Thrawn (Star Wars) - Cecil

Utena Tenjou (Revolutionary Girl Utena) - Xeno

Asirpa (Golden Kamuy) - Laudines

Shinki (Touhou) - Finale

Sonia the Octopus (Original Character) - Rook

Sicely Nohell (Star Wars/Homestuck Original Character) - Cecil

Reserves

We also have a  few reserves, hopefully soon, we’ll be seeing them, and look forward to whatever plots you may do with them!

Pomni (The Amazing Digital Circus) - Rook

Izu (Kamen Rider Zero-One) - Bee

Shotaro Hidari (Kamen Rider W) - Blue

Okina Matara (Touhou) - Laudines

Dropped

Lastly, we have some drops and dropped reserves, sad to see them go, but we hope you had a good time in Elsternwick while they were here!

The Hollow Knight/Atlas (Hollow Knight) - Xeno

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog) - Xeno

Convection of a Waking Soul (original character) - Xeno

SilverAsh (Arknights) - Carmine

Dropped Reserves

Ori (Ori and the Blind Forest) - Rook

Sento (Kamen Rider) - Thana

Haruki (Ultraman) - Thana

And that does it! We hope this character update helps inspire other character choices for future muses, and look forward to what you might be doing with these new characters or future characters! <:

Januscary...?

Just about done with updates, 2023 is rapidly coming to a close, and we're excited for what lies in wait for 2024, we've already got a few ideas for what's to come, including next month in the month of January-...

A somewhat uncommon trend is to release horror movies or do scary things in January, and we thought it might be fun to attempt that this year, Terrible Tundra of Tiny Terror will continue to run, but we just might have some other frightening treats for the month as well!

The aforementioned Army of Darkness adventure by Shin will be played then, which inspired by the movie of the same name, involving the undead, time travel, and the time of the vikings, but that doesn't have to be the only thing we have planned! We may have some other bonechilling encounters figured out by then, we'll be sure to keep you updated as the time comes, but if that inspires you, we'd love to hear what you have in mind!

Update Done!

That about does it! Not as big as the Autumn update, but we're happy to keep you all updated! We hope you have a great evening and Holiday season!

And we also hope you'll have a great time in Elsternwick's Winter, of course!

And if you’re not part of Elsternwick, we look forward to hearing from you if this event/update perhaps interests you!

Winter will continue to go on with more fun activities, and of course, after Winter comes Spring, and who knows what that new growth may bring with it...? We hope you'll look forward to whatever may come!

But until then, we hope you have a wonderful day and holiday season, and look forward to whatever you may do, both within Elsternwick and outside of it! See you again soon!

[food-fantasy-souls]

*happy squeaking* :D

Giveaway prize for @shadowrosa6 ! Hope it looks alright!

//also i realised i coloured one of B-52’s eyes wrong! I deeply apologise for that mistake,,i can’t undo it since i merged all my layers ;u;

[food-fantasy-souls]

AHHHHH I FINALLY GOT ENOUGH SHARDS TO GET HIM AND I’M SO FRICKEN HAPPY

MOM DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHY I WANTED HIM BUT I DON’T CARE I FINALLY GOT HIM!! ♡♡♡ :D

[annakie]

So I decided to squeeze in a ME3 (only) playthrough to finally do MShep and an Engineer in ME3.  I started this guy many years ago and never went very far with him, despite really loving the character design.  BTW, I captioned all the screenshots above if you wanna clickthrough. So (re)meet Aldis.  I tried to do his initial facial design off of Aldis Hodge, though I’m bad at creating/mimicking faces I think he still turned out as one of the most attractive mSheps I’ve ever seen, if I can say so mysellf without sounding too braggadocios. :) When I made him, there were a couple of goals I wanted to accomplish... Obviously, just finally do ME3 with a MShep.  I did ME1 and ME2 with one even longer ago, but I romanced Liara in those and I really wanted to see a MShenko romance, to see the more gradual “Hey let’s get together” in ME3 instead of the “let’s reaffirm our relationship” like with my FemShep.  I also wanted to do a more renegade playthrough, since it’s been many years since I did my Femshep Shakarian Renegade playthrough.  He is still the “I’m nice to my crew, and I’ll try a diplomatic approach but my tolerance for bullshit is near zero.”  And last, I’m just gonna wear a bunch of the dumb armors I almost never wear and just try and do things different in other ways than my main FemShep. Since the next time I do a full trilogy playthrough, it’ll be with my canon femshep in the Legacy and there may not be the possibility of mods then, I wanted a heavily modded run to see all the mods again, plus the improvements since my last ME3 playthrough about a year and a half ago.�� So this time I’m playing with:

Lights Effect as the FX mod

Girl Plays Game Hair Mods as DLC (Maleshep’s ”Macho” is the specific hair mod.)

Project Variety, which, btw means no Thanemod or Backoff. because they’re incompatible.  Project Variety adds SO MUCH to the game, several of which are highlighed in the screenshots above.

Expanded Galaxy Mod (I have no idea how I can ever play without this mod again, gonna make the LE playthrough so hard and bland.)

Spectre Expansion Mod... also one I don’t ever want to live without in the future.

I have MEHEM installed because... yeah.  I still don’t feel like not having a happy ending.

So of course Citadel Epilogue Mod to close out the game.

ME3 Recalibrated to fix all the lore and errors that need fixing.

And Better Journal to make quest descriptions better.

Casual Outfits for MShep.  There’s also other new casual outfits installed for MShep and I don’t know where they came from, but I do love them. (See pics for more.)

Priority Earth Overhaul Mod to make the endgame even more epic.  The creator also made Immersive Thessia which is sadly incompatible with Project Variety so for now I’m not using this... maybe a future playthrough will swap out PJ for Immersive Thessia, ThaneMod and BackOff again.

Omega Hub for extra Omega content post Omega-DLC, really looking forward to seeing the improvements in this one.  It was just a fun 10-minute diversion last time I played through.

Ark Mod for extra missions that bridge the gap between ME3 and Andromeda.

Better Dreams for awesome and non-annoying dreaming... getting rid of The Kid as much as possible.

Alliance Warpack for more Companion outfits.

Citadel DLC Redone so most companions wear unique casual outfits during Citadel DLC

ME3 Opening Remaster to make those few seconds of the opening a little more epic.

Miranda Mod to have Miranda on the Normandy and give her cool stuff to do after Horizon.  Also if you’re a Miranda Romancer gives her a better ME3 romance.  Also better clothes.

Respawn - Mission Overhaul IDK why it’s hidden on the Nexus, but I had an old download I’m using.  Makes combat more difficult by giving the bad guys more varied powers.  A nice change of difficulty without making it crazy on normal.

Allers Redone to put Allers in a decent outfit.  Still don’t know if I’m going to bother talking to her, though I did put her on the ship.

A Lot Of Videos 4k - I’m a 4k gamer finally.... I want what I can make look good... look good.

I’m NOT using ALOT this time -- I didn’t want to not be able to easily fix things should some mod installation be wonky.  I figure the Legendary Edition is gonna be my big “Take ALL THE PRETTY SCREENSHOTS!!” time... this one is just for fun, and enjoying the mods and my pretty, pretty mShep.

Hey the new post editor SUCKS because I’ve run out of space for new paragraphs but I can add new bullet points.  Anyway, I’ll probably make a few more screenshot posts as I progress through the game.

[pan-inc]

DR1 Boys With A Crush

  Since this blog is just starting out, I think it would be nice to start at this point of your relationships! I hope you enjoy!

  (By the way, this is non-despair AU but still has a spoiler about Chihiro in Taka and Chihiro's imagine ^^)

-Mod Rantaro

Makoto Naegi

I wanna say he'd be oblivious to his feeling because, ya know, it's Makoto

But I think he'd probably realize his feelings towards you pretty quickly.

Maybe realizes it's more than just a lot of admiration after Kyoko points it out but you didn't hear it from me

Gets really nervous when talking to you, about you, or just being near you.

Nervously sweats in Japanese

Although he gets really nervous around you, he thrives on you being happy

Especially if it's because of him

So he tries his best to keep you as happy as possible.

Sad S/O? Sad Makoto.

Happy S/O? Happy Makoto!

Awkwardly makes jokes in Japanese

Byakuya Togami

He doesn't even realize he sees anything in you because he's busy dealing with Toko

But he denies his feelings all the way, just tells himself it's a different form of annoyance towards you.

Tsundere intensifies in Japanese

Aoi and/or Kyoko are probably the ones to call him out on his shit

(Maybe even Makoto)

Once he realizes what he's feeling is love he tries distancing himself from you.

He thinks knows that people in the Togami family aren't supposed to feel true love, and even if he was able to get away with it, it probably wouldn't work out with you.

. . .

Right?

But he eventually comes to terms with his feelings and gives it a shot, trying his best to be nice to you.

Really, he’s trying.

He also protects you from Toko and Syo if needed.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru

A nervous wreck

Our favorite wreck <3

He doesn't even really realize he likes you at first because he's so focused on his studies.

If you're a guy he is kinda worried about his reputation being ruined for liking another man, but he eventually gets over it and decides you are more important than his reputation

Asks Mondo for help

Since he doesn't know if Mondo has good advice or not when it comes to crushes he just does as Mondo says

Big mistake

You realize pretty quickly that he has a crush on you, but you just play along to not embarrass him any further

Then he goes to Chihiro

Is then brought to Alter Ego

Once again tries but with him being very blushy and nervous about you he still isn't able to properly confess.

Just give him a bit more time, he'll confess in a way he is happy with soon ^^

Mondo Owada

O h  b o y, where do I begin

He has zero dating experience, the closest thing he’s had is girls fawning over his bad boy appearance and demeanor

He’s also a mess, definitely on the tsundere side of the mess too

He would ask for help, but his bros also don’t have any experience, so it wouldn’t really be of much help to him

But he doesn’t really need it, it’s very obvious that he likes you

Plus Taka makes sly comments about how obvious it is in front of you, how kind of him to do that to for his bro

Chihiro Fujisaki

P A N I C

If you're a gal and he hasn't come out as actually being a male? P a n i c. Same sex relationships aren't very accepted in Japan and he wants to get stronger before coming out as a guy ;-;

If you're a guy? P a n i c. He doesn't want to be bullied over his sexuality along side his femininity.

He probably goes to Mondo and Taka for help with you.

But he quickly realizes neither of them have any relationship experience so h

e does research and ends up asking Alter Ego for help.

Anyways, he's pretty low-key and calm about his crush.

If he ever needs to rant about you or anything else, he has Alter Ego by his side.

Alter Ego can also help Chihiro find a good way to confess to you on the internet, so get ready for that I guess lol-

Leon Kutawa

Let’s be honest

He simps for all the women, so really no one is surprised when he suddenly feels something for you

If you’re a male don’t mind this part I just don’t know what to put for a male crush ^^;

But after a bit he realizes his feelings are more than just his general attraction towards females.

P A N I C

He usually doesn’t mind not being a person’s type, there’s plenty of fish in the sea that are begging to be his significant other, you get me?

But for you he straight up goes to every guy (and gal) in the school to figure out if they know your type, even if they don’t even know you

And if he figures anything out then he’ll try to be more like that

Poor bb

If you don’t act like the most obsessive fangirl ever he panics thinking you don’t like him

Please show this poor boi that you love him

Him, not the person he tries to become for you ^^

  P.S. I also wrote for Hifumi and Hiro but the entire document those two were in got deleted and I don’t really remember what I put for them, I’m very sorry about that, I’ll make sure to put all of them in the same document next time and make sure to have a backup or two ^^; -Mod Rantaro

[chips1977]

WARNING : I'm just an addict ... addicted to music. There are people who are born to make music, o8 thers are born to hearing. Whenever was part of this second group. Maybe it's. a habit, I gotta use, even if it 's rock, jazz or the quiet storm. Great pictures of the things I love - music, painting, books, photography, architecture, design, women, and more. I love music more than lasagna. Better to burn out than fade away. The older you get, the better life gets. But time also seems to be accelerating, the clock running too fast. So, looking at those early days, everything is very slow, stretched, and great significance. The most recent time, I spent busy with simple things.People think rock and roll is only about teenage rebellion, but why can not exist old rebel too? THE RESIDENTS is my Biggest Addiction, and,THE RED KRAYOLA, OLD TIME RELIJUN-ARRINGTON DIONYSO,R. STEVIE MOORE,SHRIMP BOAT,SMEGMA,THE SUN CITY GIRLS, LEGENDARY PINK DOTS,MINIMAL COMPACT,FRANK ZAPPA,CAPTAIN BEEFHEART,THE VELVET UNDERGROUND,THINKING FELLERS UNION LOCAL 282,THE EX,CAN,FAUST,WEEN,TELEVISION,THE MODERN LOVERS,SNAKEFINGER,MILES DAVIS,SUN RA,KRAFTWERK,ANAL MAGIC & REV. DWIGHT FRIZZELL,MICHAEL YONKERS,MOONDOG,THE WORK,RAYMOND SCOTT,THE GO-BETWEENS,SLAPPY HAPPY,ART BEARS,NAKED CITY,HENRY COW,SKELETON CREW,JOHN ZORN,FRED FRITH,THE FIBONACCIS,BONGWATER-MARK KRAMER,SHOCKABILLY,BAND OF SUSANS,THE PAINTEENS,STUMP,RENALDO AND LOAF,CERTAIN GENERAL,THE THREE JOHNS,CHROME,PRIMUS-LES CLAYPOOL,EUGENE CHADBOURNE,ESKIMO, MINUTEMEN, MISSION OF BURMA,FUGAZI,BLURT, GLAXO BABIES,THIS HEAT,THE SEA AND CAKE,SAVAGE REPUBLIC,TUXEDO MOON, XTC,U.S,MAPLE,THE PAPER CHASE,DANIEL SMITH- DANIELSON FAMILE .......  Other musical priorities are: HENRY FLYNT, THE FEELIES,PERE UBU,THE CLASH, JOY DIVISION, PROTOMARTYR, CAR SEAT HEADREST,THE BETTER-BEATLES, DARKSIDE,THE MEMBRANES, THEATRE OF HATE, NOCTURNAL PROJECTIONS,THE LINES,CARDINAL,CLEANERS FROM VENUS,THE JAZZ BUTCHER, ELVIS COSTELLO,THE MONOCHROME SET, TELEVISION PERSONALITIES, ALTERNATIVE TV, GONG,ANNIE ANXIETY, THE DEL-BYZANTEENS, WALL OF VOODOO, BUTHOLE SURFERS, RICHARD DAWSON, MAC DeMARCO,WOVEN HAND,16 HORSEPOWER, DAVID EUGENE EDWARDS,SHELLAC, SLINT-PAPA M-DAVID PAJO, LUNGFISH, OM, EARTH,THE BOOK OF KNOTS,LOUNGE LIZARDS-JOHN LURIE,ANTON FIER-GOLDEN PALOMINOS,PETER BLEGVAD,PETER HAMMILL,TOMAHWAK,FANTOMAS,MR. BUNGLE, MIKE PATTON, SUICIDE-MARTIN REV+ALAN VEGA,AARON FREEMAN,JAPAN,STEREOLAB, SPACEMEN 3, SPECTRUM, SWELL MAPS, SILVER APPES, SWELL,MORPHINE, HAWKWIND, DEVO,FLYING LIZARDS, MAGAZINE, RALPH CARNEY,ROBERT WYATT, JOHN WILKES BOOZE, KEVIN COYNE, DAEVID ALLEN, SLEEPYTIME GORILLA MUSEUM, MX-80 SOUND, SOPOR AETERNUS & The ENSEMBLE of SHADOWS, THE AUTEURS,MAN MAN, DAMIEN JURADO, DAVID DONDERO, CHAD VANGALLEN, LONG FIN KILLIE, MAGIC TRICK-TIN COHEN, CHRIS COHEN, DAVID BAZAN,VAMPIRE RODENTS, JON WAYNE, PRAM,THE OLIVIA TREMOR CONTROL, PAVEMENT, PATTI SMITH, FUGS, PEARLS BEFORE SWINE-TOM RAP, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA-JOSEPH BYRD, FAMILY, GODZ, BONZO DOG DOO DAH BAND,PENTANGLE,THE INCREDIBLE STRING BAND, SLOVENLY, CHEER- ACCIDENT, TARWATER, COIL,THROBBING GRISTLE, SHAWN LEE, CLUTCHY HOPKINS, JURYMAN AKA IAN SIMMONDS AKA WISE IN TIME+SANDALS, ZOOGZ RIFT, THE BOOKS,NEW THRILL PARADE, CHRIS KNOX , DAVID KILGOUR,THE BATS,THE CLEAN,THE PIN GROUP, CRIME CITY SOLUTION, ROWLAND S. HOWARD,TOM WAITS, VIC CHESNUTT, JOE HENRY, ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO,THE TAPE BEATLES,THE GUN CLUB, MAGAZINE,THE DENGUE FEVER,THE PAPER CHASE,THE FIERY FURNACES,THE MICROPHONES-PHIL ELVRUM,GARY WAR,RAILROAD JERK, KARL BLACK- SOCK HEADDED PETERS-LEMON KITTENS,THE MUSIC TAPES,THE SHAGGS, BOBB TRIMBLE, FISH AND ROSES, DIABLO SWING ORCHESTRA,POP D`ELL ARTE,MLER IF DADA,TOM ZÉ, WALTER FRANCO,OS MUTANTES,CAETANO VELOSO,MILTON NASCIMENTO, ARNALDO ANTUNES,VINICIUS CANTUARIA,JORGE BEN,CAZUZA,CEREBRO ELECTRONICO,CORDEL DE FOGO ENCANTADO,ROGERIO SKYLAB,OTTO, MOMBOJÓ,CRIOULO,MAX CASTRO, METÁ METÁ, ATALHOS, ROMULO FROES,WADO,ORQUESTRA IMPERIAL, LENINE,APANHADOR SÓ,MUNDO LIVRE SA,NAÇÃO ZUMBI, ALÇEU VALENÇA,ANT- BEE, BILL FAY,RON SEXSMITH,EL GUAPO,DAVID GRUBS,TORTOISE, SAM PREKOP, GASTR DEL SOL,HENRY KAISER,HOME & GARDEN, BOB DRAKE, MY DEAD IS DEAD, AKRON FAMILY, SWANS,THESE IMMORTAL SOULS, UNREST WORK & PLAY,THE TAPE BEATLES,THIS KIND OF PUNISHMENT,SWOLLEN MONKEYS (Ralph Carney) LIARS, SNAPPED ANKLES, CAVERN ANTI-MATTER, GANG GANG DANCE, THE DAMAGE MANUAL,THE BLACK ANGELS,SCOUT NIBLET,DIE FORM,LONELADY,COP SHOOT COP,WAR ON DRUGS,THE MONKS,TIM HUEY,TRACHTENBURG FAMILY,THE TRIFFIDS,THE CRUEL SEA,THE MEKONS,THE METOD ACTORS,THE SOFT BOYS,THE MISTAKES,THE MOUNTAIN GOATS,THE NEW CREATION, BRUCE HAACK, LOREN MAZZACANE CONNORS,GLEN BRANCA,ALBERT MARCOEUR,LOS ANGELES FREE MUSIC SOCIETY, SHELLEY HIRSCH,NEW YORK GONG,THE POLYPHONIC SPREE,LYDIA LUNCH,LOVE, LUCIA PAMELA,FATIMA MIRANDA,SAFETY SCISSOR S,RICHARD HELL & VOIDOIDS, SACCHARINE TRUST, ADAM FORKNER of [[[[VVRSSNN]]] YUME BITSU, ROY MONTGOMERY,RUN ON, LOVELY LITTLE GIRLS,SAFETY SCISSORS, BRIDE OF NO NO,TONE DOGS,TREAT HER RIGHT,TRIPOD JIMMIE,LIFTER PULLER,THEY MIGHT BY GIANTS,GANG OF FOUR,THE POP GROUP, WIRE, JOSEPH K, ORANGE JUICE, RAIN PARADE, THE GREEN ON REED, THE RENDERS,SOUL COUGHING-MIKE DOUGHTY, MAZARIN, KARATE- GEOFF FARINA, SECRET STARS,THE CHURCH, BLANK DOGS, FROG EYES, JOAN OF ARC, PURE X, YUNG WU,WAKE OOLOO, SPEED THE PLOUGH, DRIVE BY TRUCKERS, CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN, MARTIN NEWELL, ERLAND and The CARNIVAL, CRIPPLED BLACK PHOENIX,CALIFONE,RED RED MEAT, LOW, Eels, LOWER DENS,THE BLACK HEART PROCESSION, KING MISSILE, THE NOTWIST, CLINIC, QUICKSPACE,THE COMSAT ANGELS,THE ASSOCIATES, EZRA FURMAN and THE HARPOONS, EFF BARZELAY, BORN RUFIANS, FERGUS & GERONIMO, CHAIN AND THE GANG-IAN SEVENONIOUS-WEIRD WAR-THE MAKE UP,ESCAPIST,MOONFACE, DEAN BLUNT,COLLEEN,ZERO 7,THREE MILE PILOT,LIFE WITHOUT BUILDINGS, CLOUD CULT,BLACKOUT BEACH,PINBACK,ARIEL PINK,MAGIC HOUR,MAJOR STARS, MAPS & ATLASES, MEGAFAUN,MENOMENA,TAME IMPALA, AMPS FOR CHRIST,ARBOURETUM,TRUE WIDOW,NANA GRIZOL,TIMBER TIMBRE,THE, IMPOSSIBLE SHAPES,THE LOVE EVERYTHING,THE MAE SHI, DEAD SKELETONS,THE SHIPPING NEWS,NEW WET KOJAK,GIRLS AGAINTS BOYS,LES SAVY FAV,GERMAN SHEPHERDS,SILKWORM,DIANOGAH,31 KNOTS,90 DAY MEN, 17 PYGMIES,PARENTHETICAL GIRLS, GUN OUTFIT,VAMPIRE RODENTS, PUMA JAW-PINKIE MACLURE and JOHN WILLS, SLUG GUTS, DOG FACED HERMANS, GOD IS MY CO-PILOT, THE SKULL DEFEKTS, CUL de SAC, PELL MELL, FOR CARNATION, MARVIN PONTIAC, ARIEL PINK, FLAT WORMS, AMEN DUNES, IDDLES, WAXAHATCHEE, WOLF PARADE, SUN KILL MOON, NATALIE PRESS ,CHELSEA WOLFE, SHILPA RAY, INCA SILVER, IBEYI, ANGEL OLSEN,THE COMET IS COMING,SLEAFORD MODS, VAGABOND, SUUNS, MADONNATRON, BIG THIEF, FAT, SHAME, SAVAGES, ICEAGE, OMNI, PARQUET COURTS, WHITE FAMILY, LYDA HUSIK, SHARON VAN ETTEN, dEUS, MITSKI, LAUREL HALO,JULIA HOLTER, MARISSA NADLER, JOSEPHINE FOSTER,TRACY BRYANT, MALE GAZE, TY SEGALL,THEE OH SEES, TYVEK, GOAT, WAND,YUCK, THE MOONLANDINGZ, VIET CONG, OUGHT, ALLAH-LAS,THE FRESH & ONLYS, WHITE FENCE, LAURA MARLING, EMA, PHAEDRA, LHASA, FIRST AID KIT, JANE WEAVER, WYE OAK, CAROLINER AKA CAROLINER RAIBOW ... E gosto de viajar, andar de bicicleta, de comboios, de animais.... não gosto de pessoas superficiais... sem cultura.Gosto de dança, de arte o que quer que isso seja!. Não gosto da monotonia. Gosto de criticar no sentido positivo. Não gosto de sonhar em ficar rico. Gosto do “Vive cada dia como se fosse o último “. Não gosto de despedidas. Gosto de pormenores.Gosto de perfumes. Não gosto de mentir nem que me mintam, não suporto hipócritas.Gosto do mar. Não gosto de quem não acredita em nada e não se importa com nada e tem a profundidade de uma colher... Gosto de viajar, gosto de ajudar e de saber que pude ser útil a alguém em qualquer coisa. Não gosto da efemeridade da vida e da constante lembrança da proximidade da morte. Não gosto de não perceber. Não gosto de atrasos e de quem não é capaz de cumprir as suas promessas, não gosto de quem volta atrás com a sua palavra e ainda menos que voltem atrás comigo. Não gosto da cusquice.Gosto de amigos e da camaradagem, não gosto das” amizades “que se perdem por coisas que no final das contas não significam nada... Gosto de palavras e de conversas sem fim... Gosto de pessoas originais, com humor,com ideias próprias... e com classe. Não gosto de carinho quando estou nervoso.Gosto do campo. Não gosto de seguir a onda.Gosto de coisas pouco claras, mas bem esclarecidas. Gosto de dominar. Não gosto de brincar com os sentimentos dos outros.Gosto de toques e de trocas de olhar, de demonstrações de carinho e de cenas sensuais. Não gosto de ficar bêbado até dizer a verdade. Gosto da grandeza das coisas simples, e gosto de coisas complicadas mas não gosto de complicações... O comum não me atrai, gosto normalmente de coisas que passam despercebidas... Gosto de gostar e de não gostar de tudo isto e muito mais...

[sweetside]

Cannon Muse list

V.5

“Mad” Moxxie (Borderlands)

Female Human

Physical: 6′3 (191 cm) 220 lbs.

BMI: 27.5 | Overweight (It’s Mostly her cow tits)

Background: Owner of a Multi-universe spanning chain of Bars and Restaurants.

Extremely top heavy. Moxxie wears a custom made bra, with an antigravity system built into it, so she can carry her “girls” around.

Milf in her 40’s

Don’t talk to her about her past lovers, or the smell of engine oil in her hair.

Nurse Joy (Pokémon)

Female Human

Physical: 5′4 (165 cm) 140 lbs.

BMI: 24 | Average

Background: A member of the Joy family. Who followed her family practice of health care.

Her Major? “Heavyset Pokémon Healthcare” Which is focused on maintaining the health of pokemon over 330 lbs in weight.

Despite her fragile look, Joy is pretty strong.

Nobody knows how the joy sisters tell each other apart.

Professor Sycamore (Pokemon XY)

Male Human

Physical: 6'5 (196 cm) 183 lbs.

BMI: 21.3 | Average

Background: The Pokemon professor of the Kalos region.

He kinda get’s caught up in his work, and doesn’t remember to sleep.

Can’t hold his balance, or liquor.

He think’s you are beautiful.

Kyoko Kirigiri (Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc)

Female Human

Physical: 5'6 feet (167cm) 370lbs

BMI: 65 | Morbidly Obese

Background: The Ultimate Detective. Who had a perfectly normal life at school, nothing strange what so ever. After her graduation however, the stress of her job and fading friendships made her eat to compensate.

She is in DEEP denial about her weight.

May or may not have crushes on most of her classmates.

Bad at communicating her feelings.

Maya Fey (Ace Attorney)

Female Human

Physical: 5'2 feet (158 cm) 130 lbs

BMI: 23.8 | Average

Background: The head current of the Fey family and master of the kurian channeling technique. She likes burgers

Has worked in a law firm for a few years, and still keeps in touch.

Doesn’t gain weight from eating hamburgers

Listen she just really likes burgers, okay?

Samus Aran (Metroid) (Samus Picture by Lewdsona)

Female Human

Physical: 6'0 (183 cm) 500lbs

BMI: 68 | Morbidly Obese

Background: A former bounty hunter who saved the galaxy at least three times. However she received very little fame from her exploits. But the galaxy was safer, and she ran out of work. Which lead to her lounging around to spend her fortune.

Likes spicy food, and Mexican cuisine.

She still wears her zero-suit.

She’s surprisingly strong thanks to being genetically engineered.

Frida Moffete (Wakfu)

Female Human

Physical: 6,3 Feet (182.5 cm) 190 lbs

BMI: 23,7 | Average

Background: The head of an undersea “steampunk-esque” empire’s navy.

Has a temper, and sharp teeth.

Repressed fat kink, do to her occupation.

Has a giant metal shark mech, that she fought literal demons with.

Dorothy Haze (Va-11 hall-A)

Female Android

Physical: 4,7 Feet (143 cm)

BMI: Non-Applicable

Background: An android designed to enjoy interacting with others. The more “complex” the encounter is the more pleasure she derives from it. So she works as a escort, for anyone who can afford her.

She’s technically a “Lilim” and prefers to be referred to as so. Android is fine for people not familiar with her product line. But ’*Robot’’ is an insult.

She is able to mod her body, for certain kinks.

If she were to die, the latest copy of her consciousness would be uploaded to a new body.

Miku Hatsune (Vocaloid) (Art By CuprumRus)

Female Android

Physical: 5,5 feet (165 cm) 123 lbs.

BMI: Non-Applicable

Background: A world famous Diva from the future! Or maybe from the past at this point.

Really likes chubby people. Due to a quirk in her programming.

She’s not shy about throwing her fame around, even if it causes problems.

Kinda a dummy.

Shirahoshi (One Piece)

Female Mermaid Giantess

Physical: 77 feet (2347 cm) 21000 lbs

BMI: 17,3 | Underweight

Background: A princess of the undersea Ryugu kingdom, and the youngest in line. Shirahoshi was born abnormally large for unknown reasons. Years after meeting the Straw hats, a live changing moment for her. She now swims the open seas, with a little bit more courage.

Even in her teens she was considered one of the most beautiful people in the world. Which led to her being kidnapped on multiple occasions.

She hadn’t actually left her tower much before she was over sixteen.

She is shy, despite her size and abilities.

Pearl Pygmy (Splatoon 2)

Female Inkling (Humanoid Squid)

Physical: 4'9 (145 cm) 90 lbs

BMI: 19.5 | Average

Background: The youngest daughter born to a extraordinarily wealthy family. Pearl has always aimed to become a musician who will change the world, together with her partner and best friend Marina. She’s doesn’t like to use her wealth to flaunt over others, she’d rather help them out in anyway she can.

Has vocal cords that require special sound mixing as to not destroy the area tech near her music.

Has a foul mouth.

Is fiercely protective of those she considers friends.

Lily Siren (Shantae and the Seven Sirens)

Plant Woman “Siren”

Physical (From the waist up): 9'2 feet (279 cm) and 442 lbs.

BMI: Non-Applicable.

Background: A member of the Seven Sirens; a group of powerful magical beings from another dimension. They sought to dominate this world with their advanced technology, but were stopped by the benevolent genies. Depraved of their technology and swearing vengeance upon the genies that had stranded them here, they struggled against the half-genie hero Shantae, leading to their eventual defeat of their leader.

As they recovered from their battle with Shantae, their leader lost along with their technology, they came to terms with that fact that they were stuck in this world. Wanting to avoid future conflict, they reluctantly accepted to try to move on, to live life in a world they once saw as a prison.

Lily’s proper tittle is the “Water Lilly Siren”

Due to not having body heat, she adores anything warm.

She is hermaphroditic

Mimi Siren (Shantae and the Seven Sirens)

Lobster woman “Siren”

Physical: 4'9 feet (145 cm). 285 lbs.

BMI: Non-Applicable.

Background: A member of the Seven Sirens; a group of powerful magical beings from another dimension. They sought to dominate this world with their advanced technology, but were stopped by the benevolent genies. Being depraved of their technology and having sworn vengeance upon the genies that had stranded them here, the sirens concocted a plan to get back at the genie’s half-genie offspring. Once she had kidnapped the children of her prisoner’s. Mimi had a change of heart. Realizing how deeply the other’s had been blinded by their hatred. She allied herself with the half-genie hero Shantae to stop her sisters.

With the sirens leader and technology gone, the others began to adjust. No longer having the chance to return to their former glory or comfort. Mimi’s adjustment was the easiest, by far. Though the loss of their leader still pained her.

Mimi is mute and the youngest member of the Seven Sirens.

She likes candy and anything sweet.

She has the ability of teleportation. Being able to teleport individuals and groups, no matter the size or shape

Nazuna Hiwatashi (Brand New Animal)

Kitsune/ Human Woman

Physical: 5'3 Feet (158 cm). 110 lbs.

BMI: 19.5 | Average.

Background: A human turned into kitsune turned cult leader turned pop star. Yeah she’s from a trigger property alright. Due to a medical mishap. Nazuka and her friend Michiru were turned into beastmen. Her dream had always been to become a pop star, and inspire people. So after briefly becoming a cult’s god personified. She kind of let it go to her head. The cult was dismantled later due to circumstances not her fault. She was reunited with her friend michiru and became a more regular pop star.

She is aggressively smug and still trying to overcome some personal issues.

Can shapeshift into a kitsune at will.

Fucking loves bacon.

[aceofwhump]

Submitted by anon:

Hey! 

Sorry if this is all just a rambling mess or too personal to even be asking you in the first place (if so, please feel free to ignore away) but I’ve been questioning a lot lately whether or not I might be asexual & I was just curious about how you knew you were? I keep going through moments (especially after reading about other people’s experiences in the whump community) of thinking for certain that I am but then I end up thinking things over and doubting it.

I can say for certain that I do find people hot/handsome/attractive/sexy/yada yada but I can’t really tell whether that’s in a sexual way or not? I don’t really ever look at a person & think ‘god they’re hot, I’d love to f*ck them’ but then surely nobody does that without establishing a relationship with the person first, right?

Most of the time I’m not really ever instantly attracted to a person (if you showed me a photo, for example and asked me if I found that person hot I’d probably be pretty indifferent) but (and this is mainly in regards to celebrities) once I’ve been familiarised with them and their personality and seen them in a few things, say interviews and movies or stuff, I may develop an attraction to them (this is particularly true when it comes to seeing actors getting whumped, I find that most of my attractions form that way tbh).

Of course there’s the odd occasion where a person may be undeniably attractive & aesthetically pleasing and I’ll be attracted to them on the offset but it’s rarely the case.

Other than that, despite maybe a couple of people that I’ve found kind of  pleasant to look at, I don’t think I’ve really ever been attracted to anyone I’ve known in person, at least not in that way.

Also, whilst sex scenes themselves don’t neccessarily make me uncomfortable (can’t say I get the appeal but it doesn’t really  offend me in any way), if there’s a scene involving the nudity of an actor that I’m attracted to (as in full frontal) it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I guess that could just because it feels like an invasion of privacy as opposed to anything else though. I’ve been occasionally known to watch certain things to deal with particular urges and nudity doesn’t bother me then so I have no clue why it does in other situations.

I’ve also never had a relationship or been intimate with anyone in any way, nor can I say that I’m particularly interested in having one/doing so. I’m kind of introverted & socially awkward so maybe that’s a factor but I also don’t know if my disinterest in relationships is related to the whole concern & expectation of having to have sex with someone. I also don’t even know for certain that I’m 100% against the idea of sex. The thought of sex is not really something that appeals to me & I feel like I would happily die without ever experiencing it but I also wouldn’t say I’m entirely repulsed by it? I’ve occasionally daydreamed about characters doing the deed (never myself with anybody else though).

Also, this final part may will sound extremely cheesy so I apologize in advance but sometimes I see characters being all soft and adoring and affectionate with eachother and I kind of think f*ck man I want that. That could just be the whumper in me always seeking that comfort side of things that is so lacking though or maybe it’s just me thinking I want it because it’s supposed to be what everyone wants in life.

This was only supposed to be a short ask and instead you got an entire essay of me rambling about myself ahsgshsh, I’m so sorry! My mind is literally a mess😂.

TL;DR Idk I’m just very confused 🤔

Mod reply below:

Hi hun!! Don’t worry about a long message cause my reply got just as long lol.

I'm really glad you felt comfortable coming to me with this and I'm more than happy to help if I can!

First let me tell you a bit about how I worked out that I am both asexual and aromantic (this might be a jumbled mess so I apologize in advance for that)

So I found asexuality in 2014 and pretty damn quickly accepted and knew that I was asexual. I went through the tumblr tag (back when it was full of people’s experiences and feelings and so much positivity) and related strongly to other asexual people’s experiences. Some of those things included:

Not wanting kids

Having absolutely zero interest in ever having sex. Can go my whole life without and be just fine thanks

Not once have I seen another person and thought about having sex with them

Thought sexual attraction was either a myth/made up or only developed after you knew the person for a long time

Don’t understand why people on tv break up with each other over sex. It’s not that important, right?

Thinking people are “hot” or “sexy” but that just means aesthetically pleasing. Like a painting.

Having a sex drive but would rather take care of it myself than have sex. It’s like an annoying itch. I get annoyed, I scratch it, it goes away, I’m good.

Avoided sex ed whenever possible because I was uncomfortable with sex.

Don’t read smutty fanfic.

Sex on tv makes me uncomfortable not aroused.

Why are people obsessed with butts??? I don’t get it.

Hate when main characters get together in tv shows because that usually means they’re going to have sex and WHY DO THEY NEED TO HAVE SEX?? Isn’t love enough? I don’t get it!!

The idea of getting married and having to have sex with that person that night is horrifying.

All the universal asexual symbols and things that the community has. Like the playing cards, the black ring, the aces love cake, aces love pizza, that stuff. I loved and agreed with every single one. I know the other sexuality do this do but I never saw those, laughed, and went “yeah that’s me!” Just asexuality.

It only took a day if researching before I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was asexual. All these experiences and feelings my fellow asexuals felt really fit with my own experiences.

HOWEVER

My aromantism was a lot harder for me to pin down. I think I went through 4 different romantic orientations before working out how I felt. It was all so confusing and I couldn’t tell what was romantic, what was sexual, and what was neither. I didn’t understand it at all and I spent a long time confused. With sexual attraction I knew I didn't feel that. Never once felt that desire to have sex with a specific person. Not ever. But romantic? I thought I had felt that. Couldn't be sure though. I'm sure now but back then I was very confused. I started thinking I was hetero-romantic because I was only every "interested" in guys but it didn’t quite feel right. Next I found the word cupioromantic which was you don't feel romantic attraction but you still desire a romantic relationship. I wore that label for a short time but once again it wasn’t quite right. Every time the possibility of a relationship into my life I ran cause I didn’t want it. Next I found lithromantic which is you feel romantic attraction but as soon as its reciprocated it goes away. I thought hey that’s it! But I finally I took a very hard look at myself and my interactions with people and what it was I actually did feel and decided that I was truly aromantic. I just didn’t want to be labeled as such because I was a huge romantic and I felt like this label meant I couldn’t have one. It took a while but now I know that isn’t true at all. I know now that I don’t actually want a relationship but I want the closeness with someone that being in a relationship entails. I can get that with friends. I went through the times I thought I had felt romantic attraction and tried to fit them into the attractions above. What I felt for that one girl in my English history course? Yeah that was platonic? That actor I think is super hot? That's aesthetic. I'd love to just cuddle with and be touched by my one friend? Sensual. The one guy I dated? Yeah I only dated him because he liked me not because I felt anything for him.

Other things that helped me realize I don’t feel romantic attraction:

I have had one boyfriend my entire life (high school, lasted 10 months) and I hated it. I didn’t like holding hands with him. He asked to kiss me and I told him no. I thought (still do) that kissing was gross and no way did I want to do that. I hated when he kissed my cheek or held me too long. I didn’t understand his strong emotions toward me nor did I understand why people dated. I didn’t get it. I didn’t like it.

I have had fake crushes/faked “they’re hot, would totally hit that” because I thought i was supposed to feel that way about people. Everyone had crushes or wanted to kiss and have sex with someone else. I never did. Didn’t get it.

I thought a crush was someone you chose. Like, I thought you went “That guy/girl is funny and nice. I now decide to have a crush on him.” But apparently that is not true at all.

I have no desire to get married or date. In fact I prefer to live my life without it.

I’ve never looked at someone and felt or developed what can be described as romantic feelings.

Those times I thought I did were really just platonic feelings. I wanted to be their friend. Not their girlfriend.

I think whumperflies are the closest I’ve ever come to feeling something akin to sexual attraction but I personally don’t classify it as sexual attraction. I also get that feeling seeing someone get comforted and being soft and affection and wanting that. For me, I think that’s me being touch starved af. I’d love to have someone to cuddle with and have it not be sexual or romantic. Sounds like maybe you do too. And that’s okay :)

Based on your words and feelings I'd suggest you take a look at the following terms. They might help you pin down how you feel. They certainly helped me

Demisexual/Demiromantic: where people only experience sexual attraction to folks that they have close emotional connections with. In other words, demisexual people only experience sexual attraction after an emotional bond has formed.

Gray Asexual/Gray Romantic: in which a person may only experience sexual attraction on occasion

Sex repulsed/neutral/positive: How you feel towards sex and/or having sex. You can be positive about it, feel repulsed by sex and sexual acts, or be completely neutral about it

Sexual attraction: looking at someone and wanting to have sexual content with them.

Romantic attraction: wanting to have a romantic relationship with a certain person.

Aesthetic attraction: thinking someone is pleasing to look at. Appreciating their appearance.

Sensual attraction: wanting to touch/cuddle/be physically close to a person.

Platonic attraction: wanting to be friends with a person

To me it sounds like you could be demi or gray but it’s ultimately up to you. If you feel like any of those terms fit you then don’t be afraid to accept that label. And if you change your mind as you learn more about your self and want to use a different label then that’s totally cool! Like I said, I went through 4 different romantic labels before finding one that fit. Try things on and see how it feels for you.

I also suggest checking out some of these blogs because I found them really helpful. @asexualityexists @asexualfacts @asexualawarenessweek @acejokes @thehumorousace @outer-space-aro-ace @a-spec-tacular @life-of-an-asexual

You can also feel free to scroll through my main blog asexual tag if you want. http://thewanderingace.tumblr.com/tagged/asexual

I don’t know if any of this was helpful or not but if you have any other questions don’t be afraid to message me! I’m happy to help where I can!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #296

“reality’s a plague; we’re the medication”

How are you doing in this time of COVID19? Do you personally know anyone who is not taking COVID19 seriously? Tired of it. Don’t see an end to it. I know a bunch of dumbasses who don’t take it seriously at all. What do you think of TikTok? Have you jumped on it yet? Why or why not? I don’t have an opinion on it. What hobby or interest of your significant other do you have ZERO interest in? What about something you actually think might be fun or something you actually picked up thanks to them? If you don’t have an SO, you can think of a relative or friend as an example instead. No s/o, sooo I’ll use best friend instead. Tbh I can’t say I have ZERO interest in anything she likes… If it makes her happy, I’m thankful for it. To answer the second half, she definitely got me into Wings of Fire. Have you ever felt affected by the death of a celebrity or public figure? If so, who? Do you remember when you found out and what was your reaction to it? Steve Irwin comes to mind very quickly. I remember exactly who told me and where I was. I was heartbroken. He was my childhood hero. Did you ever get called horrible names like whore, skank, bitch? I’ve been called a bitch. I remember one occasion as a kid where I was called fat for breaking a swing, even though I was a normal size. The swing was just old. It affected me though, for sure. Where did you sleep last night? My bed. Ever slow danced with anyone? Yes. Who is the last person to send you a message on Facebook? The woman I took pictures for a few weeks back. She’s a sweetheart. Have you ever been given roses? Yeah. Ever been called babe/baby? Yeah. Who was the last person to smoke something other than a cigarette or weed in front of you? No one’s ever smoked anything else in my presence. Does anything on your body hurt? My knees. They pretty much always do. Who is your favorite family member on your mom’s side? My uncle Rob. Who was the last person you were under a blanket with? Sara. Which of your friends is the most likely to get pregnant right now? I feel like all of them that are “likely” literally are pregnant right now lmao. My Facebook is like a new pregnancy announcement once a week, it seems like. Have you ever been called prince/princess? Ew, no. Have you kissed anyone when you’re single? No. Have you ever kissed someone who was in a relationship? Nooo, I have no interest in being “that person.” What would you call your body type? Let’s not think about this. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yeah. Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I don’t think I could. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? I don’t believe so. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home? My parents fought all the time. Separated when I was… 17, I wanna say? Have you ever had any volunteer jobs? Ha. Attempts, anyway. Both were animal-related, and I was so excited to become a regular helper, but my weak-ass body couldn’t handle either. Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? I never actually thought of it this way, but yes. Flirting like that was absolutely cheating. Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: Stuck. Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? I always have guilt nowadays. When was the last time you saw someone attractive? In person? Hm. I think a about a month back when I took family pictures for someone. The kids’ dad was pretty cute. Are you okay with the life you live? Nope. What other piercings would you get other than the ones you already have? Fuuuuck dude, I want a lot. Many more in my ears, dermals in my collarbones (the #1, ahhh, but I want to lose weight first so you can see the contrast), it’d be nice to have a nose ring that fucking stayed in, I would LOVE an undereye microdermal if I ever change to contacts again, sometimes I think about an eyebrow piercing if I kept my eyebrows thinner… man, there’s a lot. I just love body mod. Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No. Are you good at wrapping gifts for others? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NO. Is your present hair color natural? Sadly yes. Do you follow a certain religion? No. Do you listen to any country music? Noooo. It’s so weird remembering that I loved it as a kid. Have you ever lived on a farm? No. Do both of your parents have jobs? Dad does, but Mom is currently on disability due to recovering from cancer. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? Ummm. I dunno. What do you wish you had more knowledge about? Politics. Is there anyone you’re not over and feel like you never will be? I doubt I’ll ever be fully over him. But I feel it’s understandable. When’s the last time you were really late to something? Hm. Dunno. Do you sing a lot? I sing veeery rarely. Do you think you have an addictive personality? I have a very addictive personality, yes. What was the first television show you were obsessed with? Pokemon, easily. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? I don’t know. When was the last time someone took your picture? *shrugs* Do you eat chili when you get a hotdog, or do you like it plain? I eat them with ketchup and mustard, not chili. Would you say it’s easy for people to make you smile or laugh? I’m unsure… but I lean towards no. Do you and your friends normally say you love one another? Hell yeah. I’m so for platonic “I love you”s. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? I'm not sure about "worst," honestly. I've mostly just heard mild inconvenience type things. Have you ever been in a car wreck? Yes. Has anyone ever told you that they think you have ADHD? Actually, yes, by maybe my second psychiatrist. She was fucking looney; I could see ADD, but ADHD was ludicrous. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? I cut off connections with my dad for years after the divorce. Is there anyone out there who has hurt you so much, you wish they’d die? Yeesh, no. How many times have you been drunk in your life? None. Are you a happy person? Not really. Have you cried yourself to sleep? Oh yeah. Have you been in trouble with the law/jail time? No. At what age did you become sexually active? Maybe like, 16 1/2? Have you been in a loving relationship? Yes. Have you been in an abusive/bad relationship? No. Who would you die for? Quite a large handful of people, really. Have you ever been in a gang? Nooooo thanks. Who do you dream about most? Annoyingly, Jason. When are you happiest? When I'm hyperfixated on a new interest. Do you answer the phone by saying anything besides "hello?" Not unless it's family, really. Then I'll just be like "hey" or "what's up?", something along those lines. Do you get mad easily? No. What is your favorite song right now? I'm pretty hooked on "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli. Do you wear glasses or contacts? If you wear both, which do you prefer, and why? I wear glasses. I've worn contacts before, they're just too tedious for me. Would you rather be buried or cremated? Cremated, please. Ever done karaoke? Did you like it? No. Goriest movie you've ever seen? Probably some SAW film. Is anything in your room purposely hidden? No. Have you ever been pranked via hidden camera? No. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? No, anything with raisins is disgusting. What age do you think is too old to still live with your parents? "It depends on the situation." <<<< This. Have you ever loved a boy who was dating some other girl? I certainly still loved Jason when he was with his girlfriend after me. Is your hair all the same color? Yeah, pretty much. When it was longer, I had natural highlights, but now that it's so short, ig it's hard for them to exist. Denim, leather or varsity jacket? I have desperately wanted a leather jacket since middle school. They're just expensive, at least the ones I like. Do you clean things that are already clean when you're bored? Ha, no. I'm not gonna clean without reason. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. What TV shows do you keep up with? None. Would you rather have a wiener dog or an Italian greyhound? Absolutely a greyhound, if I wanted a dog and had room for one of those. Do your parents buy you most anything you want? Most definitely not. I'm not even comfortable asking for things at my age. Have you ever tried to jump a fence? I have jumped fences, as a kid. Do you like the movie Zootopia? I do. Do you ever go on Pinterest? Rarely. What's the last kind of chocolate you ate? A sea salt dark chocolate w/ caramel filling Ghiradelli square from Christmas. Can you speak any unusual languages? No. Did you do gymnastics in elementary school? No. Have you ever performed in front of a large audience? Yeah; I was in dance classes for a long time, so we had recitals and went to competitions. I never did a solo, though. I was going to my senior year (senior solos are typical), but I got too nervous to continue with it. It was to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson. Do you like BBQ sauce? Ugh, I hate it. Last time you wore the opposite sex's clothing? Right now. I always wear men's pj pants. Are you currently fighting with someone? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? When I was little, I know my sisters and I kept a box turtle that wandered into our yard for a while. We eventually let it go. Then when I would go fishing with Dad, one of my absolute favorite things to do was try to catch the minnows and tadpoles in my hands, and so I had a fishbowl of those. Don't keep wild animals, please. Do you set good examples for little kids? Probably not. Does your house have a pool? No, but I REALLY want one. It would be so helpful in strengthening my legs without sweating my ass off and feeling like I'm going to collapse. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No, but I've actually had very short (I mean like, a second), sudden spasms when lying down that feel like what I assume a seizure to feel like. I think it's a side effect of my nightmare medication. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had? Not long at all. Just a few days. Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Maybe? What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? Making dark/dangerous jokes. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Have you ever had to wear a school uniform? In middle school. Would you rather sleep on the top bunk or bottom bunk? My fat ass ain't getting in the top bunk. Are you close with your cousins? None, really. Are you close to any aunts or uncles? Also not really, but one of my mom's brothers is closest to that. Are you close to your grandparents? They're all dead, but I wasn't very close to any. I never really see my extended family. What was your favorite thing to do at sleepovers when you were younger? Go swimming, if they had a pool. If they didn't or it just wasn't up, I liked playing two-player video games. Do you know what you want to do for your next birthday? Probably go to The Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert with family and just chill at home for most of the day. What is the last new thing you discovered that was really good? Peanut butter fudge, like holy shit. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No. What is the best hairstyle you've ever had? What I have now. Do you think you look better with dyed hair or natural hair? DYED. Do you think your look better with curly hair or straight hair? Straight. Have you ever won a contest? Yes. How many drawers does your dresser have? Five. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? N/A What song hit you so hard that you remember where you were the first time you heard it? Oh man, what a question. Music can affect me very deeply, so honestly there's probably a number that fit this criteria if I thought for long enough, but I'm not gonna spend ten minutes trying to pick the best one. "Eternally Yours" by Motionless In White will do, I guess because that was probably the most recent. I don't let myself listen to it, even though I love it. It'll only drag me into a trauma pit. What's your "brand" of fictional character, the type you always get attached to (ex., "perky girls with deep-seated mental health issues," "guys who you would want as an older brother," etc.)? Totally the sarcastic and usually well-composed villain. If you use Spotify, share your 2020 Wrapped! What are your overall feelings about it? Is it what you expected? I don't use it. If you’re a ~gamer~, what are your top 3 all-time favorite games? Silent Hill 2, Shadow of the Colossus, and Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored? I dunno; I'm pretty good at listening to those. What’s something extremely bizarre you believed as a very young child? It's fucking embarrassing that I went through this many-years-long "I have animal powers given to me by a wolf I made up!!!" thing, holy god. Like, I thought I could "activate" traits of certain animals. Kids are fuckin wild, but I was exceptionally so. What is the biggest conflict in your life right now? With myself. Through a lot of digging with my therapist, she got me to realize that I don't feel that I'm rightfully lovable because I'm not "successful" and "going nowhere." It hit like a ton of fucking bricks when I understood the "why" of feeling like that. Like don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm a bad person that is worthy of being hated, but totally deserving of pure love, no. So my therapist has me tell myself "I am lovable" in the mirror every morning, and I don't believe it. I'm trying to, but every time I'm just like "lol but are you really?" If you could change your current life schedule to incorporate more or less time for certain things, how would you do so? Do you feel like you have a well-structured and well-balanced schedule at the moment? My schedule is embarrassing, truly. I wake up, get on the computer, go to bed, and that's just about it, taking care of bodily needs being sprinkled in there throughout. I want to change it so, so badly, but I'm just... so set in my ways. I want to incorporate at least 30 minutes of daily reading, and I've yet to start my Wii Fit exercising because I'm waiting for Mom to move into her room (she stays and sleeps in the living room rn) because I do NOT like exercising in front of ANYBODY. I don't care if she gave birth to me. I also want to spend less time just hopping between websites on the laptop just because I can't find anything to do. It'd be nice to draw more, too... but for that, I really need to like the idea of what I'm drawing to stay even slightly motivated. There's probably more to this, but yeah, that's enough. What filler words do you find yourself using most often ("um," "you know," etc.)? "Um" or "uh," probably. I fumble over my words so much as well as just total derail on what I'm talking about that filler words are very, very common for me. When was the last time you felt let down? What were your expectations about the given situation that weren't met? Ugh, so apparently when my laptop was fixed, a lot of things were reset, and that included Lightroom, my primary photography editing software. I lost all my presets and I initially thought pictures too, but thank Christ I had a backup dialogue. I'm still pretty annoyed, because I can't find my favorite free LR download site. I didn't at all expect my laptop to be affected as heavily as it was, just getting a new DC port... If you enjoy taking and editing photos, how would you describe your editing style? This greatly depends on the subject matter and composition, but I feel a common theme is I enjoy vibrance. I war with myself a lot if I make them too saturated, but idk. Have you ever been inspired by a celebrity to change something about your appearance (your clothing style, hairstyle, etc.)? Is much of your taste/style inspired by celebrities? If not, what else serves as an inspiration for you? Ha! Guys, I'm not going to bullshit you, when I got into GMM, I loved Link's big, "nerdy" glasses so much that I became very curious as to how they'd look on me. Years later, I still kept the style and think they've looked best on me of all my glasses. I love them. For the second question, no, not really. My personal aesthetics dictate my style selections. When was the last time you felt a friendship was petering out? If a friendship seems to be fizzling, do you go out of your way to try to "save it," or do you accept that it may have just reached its natural conclusion? Ugh. This has happened in so very many of my friendships that I don't even like thinking about it. If we're talking the most recent time, I suppose with Alex. She just started talking to me less and less before vanishing (to clarify, she's an online friend). Considering just how poorly I handle loss, I'm the type to always try to save friendships I still cherish. Who is your favorite contemporary writer, author, poet, thinker? I don't know. What are your thoughts on body positivity vs. body neutrality? I believe in seeing your body and loving it for all it does, considering it's a masterpiece of biology, but, I also feel it is vital to consider its health. In other words, no, I do not think morbidly obese or emaciated individuals should think their body is... I can't think of the right word, really. "Ideal," I suppose? And keep in mind: this is coming from an obese person. I don't want someone to tell me "your body is perfectly fine!" or "you should just accept you the way you are!" when I spend almost every minute of every day thinking to some degree about how much I hate my fucking weight. No, I don't want to be convinced I should settle and neglect the wellbeing of the one body I have, but I in no way support bashing or being rude to people who are unhealthy, either. I feel like my stance on this is kinda hard to explain. Just respect your body as well as others' and their efforts to treat it the best they can. Do you enjoy keeping secrets from people, like having something about yourself that no one else knows? I mean, I don't enjoy it... I'd prefer to have none. If you play video games, what do you usually like to play? If you don't play video games, do you like watching others play? If so, what? I really like horror games, more than any. Fantasy ones with dragons and gods and the like are awesome, too. I don't enjoy a lot of games that are pretty much just movies with player decisions that barely affect the ending (I do like watching these, though), nor do sportsy or action things normally do it for me. It's by serious luck that I'm an avid World of Warcraft player, because I don't tend to like very grindy games, but I suppose WoW is an exception with the absolutely endless options of what you can do. Onto the second part of the question: totally. I wouldn't watch let's plays if I didn't, and I grew up loving to watch my dad and brother play. I'll watch an even wider variety of games than I play, but it more so depends on who the person is versus what they're playing, because whom I watch is controlled by whether or not/how much I enjoy the individual themselves. What are three things you like about nature? Just three? Damn... Well, the easiest I suppose can be summed up in a quote: "As above, so below." All is tied together. I could go on a romantic monologue about the beauty of our connection to the infinite stars we look upon and the ground we stand on, but I'll spare ya that poem. I love, love, love the sounds of nature: birds chirping, zephyrs through the trees, the crunching of fall leaves. All of it. Then, there's the power of nature! I live for those pictures of nature just taking the Earth back: desolate homes eaten by vines, all that. To call nature merely "spectacular" is truly an act of disrespect, pretty much. What do teenagers have right now that you wish you had when you were their age? Hm. I guess better phones.

[mbtiofwhys]

Mayuri Shiina

ESFJ

Functional order: Fe - Si - Ne - Ti

Spoiler warning This article will cover Mayuri’s analysis with precise reference to the plot. Also, please note that:

this article only refers to the anime adaptation of S;G, as none of us mods has still played the visual novel.

this article only refers to Stein’s;Gate classic, as only ENFP mod have seen the movies and the Zero. If you have further comments or want to discuss about it, leave a comment or contact us!

Judging Functional Axis

Extroverted Feeling (Fe) / Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Mayuri’s main focus throughout the series lays on people: their happiness, their well-being, their dreams, their goals, their interactions. She was happy with being with Okabe at first, but she’s way happier when the number of lab members increases. Mayuri is deeply fond of the group, enjoys the atmosphere of shared joy and friendship in the lab, and the only occasion in which we see her making a stand is when someone (often Okabe) threatens that sense of familiarity, or wrongs someone who’s part of the group. We rarely see her getting angry during the episodes, but when it happens, it is for one reason: someone is being rude or too hard with someone other. For example: Okabe hurting Luka’s feelings in the timeline when Luka is a girl, or Suzuha hating Kurisu for apparently no reason, or Okabe deciding that the round table is cancelled without an explanation. All these things aren’t fine with her, because they mean that the group can’t be all united anymore: if someone is angry or sad with someone other, the atmosphere is heavier and less lively. This is because Mayuri wants everyone to be friend with each other in the most pure way, and is often the one who makes the first step toward that, or the one who mediates between two contestants in an argument - those usually being Okabe and Kurisu. 

Her warm and caring Fe is opposed by her repressed Ti, that often shows when Okabe, Kurisu and Daru are discussing time-traveling theories: she doesn’t understand all that science, nor she wants to, because to her, the happiness of her friends matters more than the experiments they are doing. She tends to approach problems only looking at how people feel about the situation, and might get upset or call it “heartless” if someone tries to discuss the matter in a more logical way - because people are people and not problems to be solved.

Perceiving Functional Axis

Introverted Sensing (Si) / Extroverted Intuition (Ne) 

Mayuri is a hard worker, puts passion and dedication in everything she does. She doesn’t have many hobbies aside from geek culture and cosplay, but she puts a lot of effort in making the costumes with a precise method and the right planning. She’s very reliable and tends to look at the details in the world surrounding her, often offering information to both Okabe and Kurisu when they feel they’re forgetting something. She is also very fond of the memories of her childhood, and uses to bring them up when conversing with Okabe or generally talking about him - she values those experiences, they are precious to her because they’ve led the two of them toward the present situation and the friendship they now share.

Mayuri remains more of a comprimary in S;G and shines brighter in Zero, thus her Ne isn’t deeply covered in the series, but it can still be spotted in her optimism and her ability to come up with unconventional propositions or ideas from nowhere - usually regarding things the group can do together- or a different way to think about some detail the others forgot. She is quiet and enjoys the established routine of the lab (aux Si), but this doesn’t stop her from wanting to be part of the changes that occur when other people join in (Fe-Ne). She is also extremely positive in attitude and tends to always see the brighter side and the glass half full. 

Also typed as: ENFP

This is ENFP mod writing, specifically, because well - this feels kind of personal. I’d like to say that I see why people think Mayuri is ENFP, but truth be told, she’s way different even from the stereotypical way of thinking about ENFPs. She does have Ne in the stack, but it’s only tertiary - there’s no way she could be a Ne dom. She is enthusiastic but towards people and not towards ideas, she’s the opposite of scatterbrained or unmethodical, she can’t stand abstract discussions and on contrary, she much more shies away from them because all that stuff about time traveling and worldlines is complicated and she doesn’t even want to understand it. ENFPs can be passionate, driven and even strict if they want to -that’s when tert Te and inf Si kick in- but not in the way Mayuri is towards her friends. Friends aren’t important only because they’re friends, they matter because they are people and Mayuri deeply cares for people even if she barely knows them: that’s Fe. So, looking at the aux and tert: Mayuri doesn’t have Fi but most importantly, she’s not a Te user. Even in a tertiary position, Te makes someone interested in results, objective data and practical applications of what one’s doing. Mayuri doesn’t show a single sign of having either Fi or Te during the series.

[grisdidthis]

The Glenn Legacy: G1, Entry #1

START HERE | 

Let’s see what about this legacy challenge thing, then.

The Challenge: Make a family the strongest it can be over 10 generations.

‘kay. Gotcha.

The Rules: Start with a single adult sim made with the create-a-sim or bodyshop, male or female. 

Mmm. So. This here is our founder, Bimby. Her surname will be Glenn, because the hood she’ll be moving into was called Glennupon Bridges before it got cleaned out and resurrected. 

The rules also tell me I should pick an aspiration - any aspiration! We’ll go with Family, since she’s supposed to be the first of a Strong Dynasty and that won’t work too well for her if her lifetime goal is to have 20 lovers at once. Personality points can be assigned at will, so our girl Bimby is going to be painfully shy, very nice but not too nice, and average in all other areas. This, it seems, makes her a cancer.  *snerk*

Below you see Kleinestad City, the place Bimby is moving to. Kleinestad was ground zero of the zombie apocalypse, but since then the Undead have moved on and people have started moving back in. Just, not very many of them, because I haven’t gotten around to repopulating it after the Great Purge. They’ll come. Until then, we’re stuck with Bimby and the handful of NPCs that the game brute forces through the mods which are meant to prevent them from spawning.  

Start the family on an empty 5X5 Lot. 

Okie dookie!

As you can see, it’s not a very fancy part of town that Bimby is moving into, but since it was the only one with the required amount of empty space to place a 5x5 lot, it’s what she’s getting. She seems happy with it, though? Jumping rope, getting some exercise in. She probably shouldn’t be doing it in those tall ass heels, but it’s not like the game will let her break a leg, so. You do yours, girl.

While Bimby is busy building up that body skill, let’s get started on the house!

We’re down to $790 from her initial 20k, but the essentials are all there and I’ve laid a foundation - which is important, because if we’re working up to a mansion we don’t want to start at ground level and have to tear shit down later on. Bimby is, of course, unemployed - let’s grab that newspaper the nice NPC just left and find her a job. 

Bimby is going into politics! AND managed to gain 1 body skill from jumping rope! She also wishes for a bookcase (good, good, we want our sims educated and well-read) and to gain creativity points. Hmm. Selling some art on the side seems like it may help her get the funds to put a roof over her head, so let’s get her an easel. 

Bimby loves painting, it turns out! Perhaps because it’s the only thing fun there is to do on this lot other than jumping rope, eating, sleeping, pooping, taking bubble baths and leaving a thousand butterflies-in-jars around the place. Also, since she doesn’t have the money for a kitchen yet, she’ll will be living on instant meals for the foreseeable future.

Since the only other humans in this hood are the mail & newspaper delivery NPCs, Bimby’s social life consists of writing in her diary. (I’m fairly sure that it’s a mod that allows her to do this.) It’s kind of sad. I’ll need to find a way to get her some friends and, down the line, suitable romantic interests. (She has 600 days left until elderdom and we are only on Day 5, so there is no sense of urgency in getting her hitched and making babies. She can live a little and sort out her shit before she settles down.)

Yay, I finally got her circadian rhythm to resemble that of a normal human!

...or not. Who wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to paint honestly pretty creepy faces? Bimby Glenn, apparently. Wow. Girl REALLY loves her some art.

REALLY LOVES ART. 

BIMBY. IT’S RAINING. GET INSIDE, YOU’LL CATCH A COLD IN THIS - oh. Wait. You don’t have a ceiling, that’s right. There is no such thing as an “inside the house” for you yet because you suffer from a severe lack of walls. Mmright. Don’t worry, we’ll fix it. At this rate you’ll max out your creativity skill in a couple of days. By then your paintings may be selling well enough to put a roof over your head at last, even if you don’t get promoted in the meantime because you always show up hungry/sleepy/smelling of armpit. 

Sooo Bimby’s first week in Kleinestad didn’t go swimmingly. Hopefully the next one will see her perk up a bit? (Her aspiration meter hit red two days ago and has only gone further down, I really need to work on fulfilling some of her wants rather than simply ensuring her basic needs are taken care of.) But heeeeeyyyy she just maxed out her creativity skill and her art is starting to rack up some actual money, so if she can smash out some more in her free time, exciting new things may be headed her way. Like ceilings!

In the meantime, interesting things are happening at work! Which, I’ve noticed, has yet to pay her. Must be some mod that’s causing it BUT POLITICIANS AMIRITE!

No, Bimby, you ARE getting that assistant. You’re not self-assured enough to answer questions yourself and furthermore, that shit is more likely than not to get your ass fired. Be smart about this.

See? Yay, moar charisma! Let’s put it to use and ambush that cute newspaper delivery girl, so that you can have a social interaction with another human being and perhaps even your first girlfriend! I mean, I was intending to make you a huge lesbo either way, but the fact that the only two other people around are female kind of seals your fate. 

This is Nancy Pasang! She has red eyes, which would normally disqualify her as a potential mate, but pickings are slim around these parts, so we take what we can get. And Bimby seems to hit it off with her! She definitely looks less morose than usual while hanging out. 

Sometime later, it becomes clear to both her and me (because look what her aspiration meter is at and what all her wants revolve around) that we need to get this woman laid forthwith. Since I don’t want to deal with the Matchmaker, we are using the Find-a-Mate crystal ball, and holyfuckingshit I didn’t realize how expensive that thing is, YOU BETTER BE WORTH THE MONEY AND GIVE ME SOMEONE QUALITY!

Yes, yes, we are indeed desperate. Give our Bimby some sugar, you overpriced bowling ball!

Oooohhh, look who popped up, what a coincidence! Unfortunately, Bimby didn’t time her request well. She had to run off to pee and eat, and Nance peaced out because she got tired of waiting for her date to finish her third instant meal. But they managed to build up their relationship to FRIENDS, and isn’t friendship (with potential benefits!) a wonderful thing?

Meanwhile, Bimby continues to not draw a salary (I really need to find out what mod is causing this) and not getting promoted despite her jobmeter being maxed out. Go figure. And now they’re asking for volunteers to do MORE free work, and because she’s nice by design and seemingly incapable of standing up for herself, the following bullshit ensues:

BOO, BIMBY’S CO-WORKER! BOOOOOOO!

Bimby comes home and goes straight to bed, exhausted, I’m guessing, by all the nonsense she had to put up with. Then we both think better of it and decide that before taking care of anything else, we’re having her quit the damn job. She has 0 interest in politics anyway and has made more money so far selling her weird abstract paintings. Because they weren’t paying her either way and the only benefit she got from wasting hours of her life there was not having to fork out money for lunch. So. 

YES!  BYE FELICIA!

Now our girl can use her new free time in more productive (and hopefully profitable) ways.

[mydearestreaderfanfics]

Haunting Me (Zero x One-sided!Reader)

Warnings: angst, bullying

Word Count: 2,541

Prompt/Request: Second day of the October Special: Masquerade.

Summary: Tonight was suppose to be my opportunity for change. Things were supposed to be different in the best ways possible. I just wanted happiness and a chance at a brighter tomrrow. I can't believe I let myself have hope. Your dream night at the masquerade ball becomes your worst nightmare. Can you handle this heart ache?

Author: Mod Rene

I stared at this pitiful reflection given to me by my full body mirror in my dorm room. My mother’s dress in nothing but tatters and stains on me was not exactly my favorite look. This dress was beautiful. It was passed down generation after generation for so long that calling it a cliché tradition was an understatement. I wanted a magical night in it just like all of my relatives and ancestors had. Of course, that was most definitely not my luck. Happiness was never truly within my grasp. I was given the saddest cards in life. I’m officially convinced. What happened, you may wonder?

Sit back. Get ready for a movie. Quite honestly one of the saddest you will ever see on top of that.

*FLASHBACK*

“Kaname-senpai told me to come with him to the masquerade valley. How crazy is he? The disciplinary committee has to be on shift 24/7. Who else will protect the student body?” Yuki spoke half-heartedly I’d already known she wanted to go. It’s been all she spoke about for the past four days. I couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped my lips as I heard her draw on about it. After a tired sigh left her lips, I turned to her calmly.

“Yes of course. We must always be protected here at this private school which is quite mostly isolated. Can’t chance any rogue wild birds swooping down over our heads. What’ll we do without disciplinary committee members there to stop them from stealing the punch!!!” I joked looking her way with mock fear. Dramatics were my forte after all. She looked less than happy with me however giving me a puffy-faced pout. I couldn’t help but tease her. So many opportunities would show and to miss them would just be cruel to myself. We continued to stroll from class to the dorms not breaking eye contact as we spoke. It seemed ok until a matter of seconds later.

“You’re so mean Y/N!!!! I’m genuinely concer-" Yuki was cut off by my bumping right into one of the other girls and falling back. The two notebooks I’d been carrying with me flew up and so all loose papers were now falling around me. I remained on the floor shaking my head slightly. At first, I’d refused to open my eyes for fear of seeing the rage in the said other student's face. There was also the fact that I had a feeling this was some kind of start to some very bad luck.

Someone cleared their throat demanding my attention and grasping it. Sure enough, a very angry girl from my class stood in front of me with her arms crossed and head high. Her eyes were downcast making me feel entirely inferior.

“Y/N!!!! Are you alright?” Yuki immediately got down on her knees to be at my level and help me gather my things. I hadn’t looked away from the furious teenage harbinger in front of me but I did still nod slightly to answer Yuki.

“Her? She bumped into me. I’m the one in order for concern!” My classmate screamed quite angry with me. I visibly flinched slightly at the raise of her voice. Yuki rose to her feet in front of me with an angry glare in her eyes completely directed at who stood in front of us. I began to gather my stuff slowly before also moving to my own feet. I wasn’t one for scenes so I simply bowed my head and apologized.

“You weren’t the one on the floor. And it wasn’t on purpose!!!” I nodded at this statement which Yuki so boldly spoke out for me there really was no point to it though. This girl really seemed to hate me for whatever reason. After a mere stare down she scoffed and walked away leaving me and Yuki alone.

“Y/N-"

“Let’s go. We have a ball to get ready for.” I murmured with my back to Yuki walking away. I didn’t want to talk about it. I already knew what she’d say. It was the same thing every time. I needed to stand up for myself more. I needed confidence. No one could see, but I was trying. It’s never easy being what you’re not. With baby steps each day, I was working towards getting better as so many people had said. Tonight was the night I’d show it. I was finally going to confess my feelings to my crush.

Tonight I would get to tell him how I felt, regardless of how he felt about me. I just wanted to tell him. It wasn’t for him. It wasn’t for a future with him. This big move was solidly for me to prove to myself that I could do it. That somewhere in me was someone brave enough to speak my voice. So having said this, I stood in front of my full body mirror in the dress my mama gave me specifically for this night. A beautiful black gown slim fit to my figure. I was blessed with my mother's curves and now I’d stop hiding them.

Tonight I would shine. My face was framed by a couple pieces of hair on each side of my face as my hair was in a high ponytail, slicked back and straight. My facial features were shown and highlighted for once in my life. I wanted to be seen tonight. I wanted him to see me for once. There was a statement being made here.

“Y/N. You look absolutely amazing!” a smile graced my lips fully at Yuki’s words. A small gasp left her lips which I followed with a deep breath in, never looking away from the mirror. I nodded twice rather quick making the elation within your heart quite clear. A purely happy giggle left my mouth as I did one nice spin in front of the mirror slowly. I’d felt completely successful with my look and confidence had never felt so good. How dumb of me.

“I just hope he notices that too.” Mistake number one. Yuki had no idea about my crush on Zero. This wasn’t a topic I’d ever preferred to bring up to anyone. I have just always been so guarded that I never felt ok with talking about this stuff. I still didn’t want her knowing. She was so close with him, it made me further embarrassed. My eyes went wide as soon as I’d said it and her eyes did too. The only difference between us was my obvious discomfort and her very obvious smirk. I began to sweat just slightly.

“Who is he?!”

“Ohhh no one important.” I shifted in my heels and turned away from her to head towards my bed. It was about as messy as my own inner thoughts at this point, and so I needed to find my purse within it all…and my sanity. Yuki came up to me as I shuffled through my disaster of a bed to urge the name of this mystery he out of me for a good 5 minutes before giving up with a pout. I had finally found my purse right as she exhaled a defeated sigh next to me. I turned to her kindly and put my hand on her shoulder.

“You’re my best friend Yuki. I tell you everything. But I can’t tell you this person’s identity until after tonight. I promise you’ll hear about it tomorrow. If all goes well, you may just catch us there together.”

“If you say so. I guess” Her smile was sweet and so it earned a bigger one from me. I scanned her own outfit for a moment before I begin to give her some of her own compliments.

“You look stunning. You wore the dress Kaname gave you! So disciplinary committee will be partying too?” We laughed together as she gave a small nod and blushed. I couldn’t help but smile at this moment. Things were going so great already. I felt it was safe to assume the night really was going to be one blissful enough to remember. One impossible to forget. I was right about the unforgettable part of it. Sadly, not the blissful.

We arrived at the masquerade ball shortly after the discussion in the room. She broke off from me to find Kaname which I’d already known was going to happen. I hoped things would end up great for her. She'd finally get to confess her feelings. They could finally be together and happy. I thought I’d known how she felt about him and how much she really loved him. I didn’t know how wrong I had been. I want to assume Kaname hadn’t had any idea either.

I walked around looking for Zero, having absolutely no luck for a good hour of my search. I’d still gotten many offers to dance and boatloads of compliments, primarily from the boys but that was still nice. The night hadn’t been bad that far. With my poor luck, however, that most certainly was not going to last. I’d been walking toward the door leading toward the school, garden when it all went so wrong.

That same girl from just earlier had seen me and I’ll assume she was still unhappy. Now it was most likely for more than one reason as she was usually the one receiving all of the compliments being sent my way. Girls are usually not ok with that. She was no different. As I began to step out, she placed her heel on the back of my dress, causing it to tear and me to fall forward. I hadn’t expected it and therefore lacked any preparation to catch myself properly. I landed on my wrist wrong in the last-minute attempt to break my fall and catch myself. The sharp pain made me wince slightly and so she laughed bitterly.

My lip quivered slightly as I stared at the floor, attempting to gather myself. Her friends, as well as herself, stood around me simply laughing at my unmoving sat up from. I was determined to hide my obvious pain or sorrow. I wanted to prove to myself I could be brave. I was going to. However, this gave her a new plan.

“Aw, you want to cry? Does the baby need help? Here.” Before I could look up a cold liquid hit me in a large quantity all at once. The punch bowl then hit the floor next to me. I didn’t mean to do it, but I cracked. Tears began to spill down my cheeks at what seemed not to be within my control. I couldn’t look up. I couldn’t look anyone in the face. Maybe I did look good at the beginning. Maybe I did feel good about myself. There was none of that left at this moment I know how ridiculous and small I looked. With how horrible I felt now, people obviously looked at me with pity. Even so, no one helped me. No one said anything. Not a single person in that ballroom moved to stop any of this. Some of them even laughed along as well.

Why? Why did they all have to be so cruel? Why couldn’t they be kind, humane, demoralized people? Did their parents not teach them sensibility? I had done nothing to these people. They’re so cold to me without having even met me or gotten to know me. Without looking at anyone I got up and ran out of the ballroom.

I ran as fast as my heels could allow. When they began to hurt and hinder me, I threw them off and kept running. My tears kept falling and it angered me. I was mad at those people, yes. I was also mad at myself. I shouldn’t have run out. I shouldn’t have been careless. I shouldn’t have let them cause these tears to begin with. I wasn’t stronger. I was still so weak and it infuriated me. I had thought this night was officially the worst. It could have not gotten worse. Nothing could possibly make this night darker than it had already been. Maybe by this time, my heart should have known how untrue that was.

It had been almost as though each time saying that, I had placed a jinx on myself. Leave it to my lack of luck to hurt me further. As I came to a quiet stop at the fountain in the front of the school, I saw them. And my heart finally just shattered.

My mind went blank. The few pieces left in my shattered heart were reduced to a cold powder. I felt pure despair, but only for a second. It only lasted a second. That first second upon seeing it and realizing what my eyes had witnessed.

Yuki. And…Zero? Kissing? What? What about Kaname? What about every time she’d talked about him? All those times she would visit him. Every time he sent her gifts and was there to accompany her. The blatantly obvious tensions between the two and the care colored in both parties' eyes when they locked. Where did all of that go? That was never the look she gave Zero. She always talked about needing to watch him like any sister would panic and worry for their brother. That’s what she said Zero was to her. The troublesome brother. Why? Why? Why any of this?!?! Was it all really to bring me to this numb hopeless state of mind? Is that all I am meant to feel in life is pitiful or absolutely nothing at all?

Who did I make so mad up in the heavens to bring me all of this disaster? Why was I so haunted?

Yuki pulled away abruptly upon opening her eyes and seeing me behind them. Except, it wasn’t me she saw. No, it was the one and only night school king himself just behind me she saw first.

“Kaname-senpai!” it was quiet. Zero only turned around long enough to glance at Kaname out of the corner of his eye. I couldn’t stand to stay any longer. I turned to run, only for Kaname to grab my wrist, the same one I sprained before. I winced shortly.

“Do you love him?” my eyes opened wide. I refused to turn around. I couldn’t. It was quiet for a few minutes.

“..yes. I’m so sor-" I ran. He let go of me and I ran. I ran to my dorm faster than I’d ever run in my entire life. Never have I ever felt so destroyed and defeated in my life. This heartache was the kicker. I gave up after this. I have been locked up in my dorm room all night. I haven’t taken my dress off. Or opened my door to anyone, Yuki included. She stopped by, I think. Maybe it was my despair messing with my head. Not that it matters. This night has been dreadful. The masquerade was never a good idea. Having hope was the dumbest one yet. This was never to be forgotten. It is only a night to haunt me for the rest of my life. I never want to speak of the haunting masquerade.