#Minecraft colosseum | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

infinite-tournament · 1 year ago

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The Rules

This is a winner-stays-on tournament, so don't expect any brackets. Every week (or whenever the mod remembers), a new contender will be put up against the current champion (which will be listed in the blog's description). If it wins, it becomes the new champion! If not, then the old champion remains until something beats it. In the case of a tie, the contender failing to beat the champion will be counted as a loss, and the champion will move on. There is no set end date for the tournament, and it is intended to continue indefinitely.

Submissions can be sent in here. Submissions sent to the ask box will not be counted. There is space to add propaganda and media if you wish to. There are no restrictions on what can be submitted. The next contender will be randomly selected from the current pool of submissions, though repeat contenders will have to wait a few weeks before they can re-challenge again.

Note: Submissions are put into polls unedited, and thus may include errors.

Previous contenders below the cut

sleep (The Beginning, Champion For 1 Week) Homestar runner from homestar runner (Lost Poll) the color purple (Champion For 3 Weeks) Chat Noir (from Miraculous Ladybug) (Lost Poll) alex eagleston/eggleston from yiik a postmodern rpg (Lost Poll) duck (Champion For 2 Weeks) vanilla extract (lost poll) Garlic bread (Champion For 1 Week) autism (Champion For 15 Weeks) Reigen Arakata from Mob Psycho 100 (Lost Poll) Infinity-Sided Die (Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons (Gravity Falls)) (Lost Poll) Gay sex (Lost Poll) sage green (Lost Poll) Timothy Stoker (The Magnus Archives) (Lost Poll) The Amazing Devil (band) (Lost Poll) The hit 2011 video game Minecraft (Lost Poll) Ford Prefect (hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy) (Lost Poll) Tom Scott (Lost Poll) The SD (super deformed) Gunpla line (Lost Poll) Heathcliff (Lost Poll) shitposts (Lost Poll) Sans Undertale (Lost Poll) Dire Crowley from twisted wonderland (Lost Poll) asexuality (Champion For 4 Weeks) Lord of the Rings (Lost Poll) bears in trees (band) (Lost Poll) piplup (pokemon) (Lost Poll) aromanticism (Champion For 2 Weeks) Raz from Psychonauts (Lost Poll) Clouds (Champion For 3 Weeks) RYAN GOSLING (Lost Poll) Mike Walters (Woe.Begone) (Lost Poll) lava lamp (Champion For 3 Weeks) Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Lost Poll) @helinedmightbehere (tumblr blog) (Lost Poll) Hatsune Miku (Champion For 6 Weeks) Toffoli gate (Lost Poll) The time knife (Lost Poll) Pokémon Colosseum (Lost Poll) Communism (Lost Poll) The letter A (Lost Poll) dust motes in a sunbeam (Champion For 3 Weeks) Monster Energy drinks (Lost Poll) The onceler/The Onceler fandom (Lost Poll) Bread products (All of them) (Champion For 13 Weeks) Abed Nadir (Lost Poll) Leafcutter Ant (the animal) (Lost Poll) maroon (Lost Poll) haunted five dollar Applebee's gift card (Lost Poll) Palindromes (Lost Poll) genderqueer (Lost Poll) undertale (Lost Poll) Jamilla Gardner (Woe.Begone) (Lost Poll) drizzile (pokemon) (Lost Poll) The Goonies (Lost Poll) The Dragonriders of Pern series (Lost Poll) nurse Gerard Way (Lost Poll) Palestine (Champion For 3 Weeks) Pansexuality (Lost Poll) the concept of time (Lost Poll)

#tournament #introductory post #infinite tournament of everything #infinite tournament

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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months ago

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On the whole "Shinies are picked manually from gen 6 onwards, early shinies were auto-generated" - its... Debatable. It definitely seems like a lot were - which is why a lot of blue Pokemon become pink, such as Vaporeon and Kingra, while it would make sense for Pokemon like Gengar and Dragonite to get such horrendous shinies.

But there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. The same colours get swapped differently on different Pokemon, and no one person has figured out the formula for how shinies are determined. Then there's the "gen 6 onwards are manually coloured" theory - and that is all it is, a theory. It does seem to be the case, as some shinies are phenomenal and would definitely not get randomly swapped like that (Pallosand is one of the big arguments for that) but then there are others that are... Just not very good shinies, like Talonflame.

There's absolutely zero confirmation from Game Freak as to how shinies are decided, and there definitely a TREND that we can see involving it, but they're all just theories.

Lockstin & Gnoggin has a video called "Is This How Shiny Pokemon Were Made" which covers a LOT of information on shinies and the speculation behind how shinies are made.

i am seeing a LOT of mixed opinions on what is actually the truth here. compelling evidence from both sides, it seems? though two mentions of lockstin & gnoggin by now (though with seemingly two differing opinions about the fate of shinies pre-gen-6?) so i'm going to make a solid bet that we're all just grasping at straws and patterns for how we Think shinies are determined. is that fair enough to say? i always thought they were all deliberate and the ugly ones were just a matter of taste, with the ones that barely change being a matter of someone being lazy or something. but also i guess the "ugly" ones can be a matter of taste even in recent gens—i don't think indeedee's is that bad, and tandemaus… well, they could've done to change the actual body instead of the li'l pants they're wearing. togedemaru is definitely underwhelming. it would make sense that there's some sort of algorithmic approach to choosing shinies, especially considering how we have seen some shinies change in color over the years (see: the shiny ralts line, for example, in which they appeared purple back in the 3d gen 3 spinoffs, pokémon colosseum and gale of darkness), but then doesn't entirely track once we get to pokémon like sneasel, whose original appearance was completely different, but even after its body colors were changed in pokémon crystal and onward, it still retained the same shiny. and yet sylveon is still the only good shiny out of all the eeveelutions (sorry bleep blorp espeon and pink vaporeon), which was the eeveelution released in gen 6 (umbreon is still good, i guess, but doesn't change a ton), where we're all supposing they started "manually picking." i think all this was sparked from an ask about helioptile's shiny, which seemed to be a reference to something—i'm sure there's plenty of other shinies that fit that bill, but with over a thousand pokémon out there to come up with shinies for, are we ever gonna be able to prove that it's not just a coincidence? like i thought the nacli line was a very obvious minecraft reference but i don't think anyone agrees with me on that one. then again, they did go out of their way to name a pokémon fucking "lechonk" which i'm still not over being one of the most annoying names they've ever created. so sorry lechonk fans but i swear toby fox had a hand in naming that one

#long post #not pkmn #and thus i end the ramble with no resolution. strange

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doyouknowthemossinman · 4 months ago

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After stumbling unwillingly through a lantern and experiencing life in hels for themself, Fin develops an inferiority complex so strong it sends her spiraling into a quest to prove that she's really the stronger half between her and Eight.

(Working title: i put Hallownest in minecraft)

[This has to be worth it. I have to prove myself.]

[I don't know where I am.]

Things being Fin's size for once was actually pretty disorienting. After years of coping with larger-than-life appliances and structures in her daily life, she wasn't prepared for the whiplash of finding buildings that were already bug-sized. The fall into the little world wasn't pleasant, but the cozy town in the middle of the wastes was something.

Down the well, the Elderbug had told them. All the adventurers disappeared down the well. All but one, anyway.

Below Dirtmouth, the allegedly once-sprawling kingdom was in ruins. Zombie-like husks shambled in repetitive paths, but did not seem to acknowledge Fin as they crept past. Something about the orange glow behind their dead eyes drew her near them, until someone yanked her out of the husk's grasp.

"That was close!" the pillbug exclaimed, poorly hiding his anxiety behind a laugh. The corpse shambled on as he continued pulling Fin out of its way, backward toward a large temple. "Those are husks, they're not exactly friendly! Though, now that I think about it, they didn't seem particularly keen on attacking you," he continued.

Fin took his distraction as an opportunity to free her arm from his hold. He stared at her for a moment as if trying to remember something, then seemed to snap out of his stupor. "Apologies. I'm Quirrel. What brings you all the way to this old kingdom?"

Fin didn't know how to answer. "I fell, and now I'm here. I'm... looking for a challenge, I guess."

"Ah, I've already met many adventurers who seek the Colosseum in this kingdom. I believe it's on the edge of the City of Tears. That seems to be the direction that many of them were traveling, anyway. I wish you luck in your quest!"

"And you in yours," Fin replied, giving a slight bow before Quirrel turned and became engrossed in the temple's heavy door.

This Colosseum could be their way to develop their skills beyond what was available in their home world. Beyond what was available in hels, even. (Seeing how difficult it was for a helsmet like Eight to survive in hels had shaken their own sense of capability. Eight was happy in that hellhole. Eight sold jewelry to get buy instead of anything useful like weaponry or armor. Eight had friends. My hels is happy, and I'm not.)

---

They met another bug searching for the Colosseum while in the aptly-named City of Tears. Though his hood was soaked, the water rolled right off his carapace as he spoke, full of bravado. Fin felt more jealous of his waterproof-ness more than anything else. "It's near here, I'm sure of it. Somewhere between the City and the Kingdom's edge. I don't need your help to find it." He drew himself up slightly and left, headed in the direction that it planned to go.

Fin watched him go and scoffed to themself. An ego that large wouldn't get him far, even if he did find the Colosseum.

[Your ego won't get you far, either.]

Something told them not to follow after him, a nagging feeling in its chest that pulled them in the opposite direction. They'd already seen and considered the statue of the so-called Hollow Knight, but followed the pull anyway, all the way to the other side of the city.

Good thing, because they found a fellow nailsmith (for swords were nails in this kingdom, however odd the terminology felt on their tongue) who offered to sell them some armor for a few hundred geo.

"This is very discounted compared to what I would regularly charge," the Nailsmith informed her. "Though I suppose there aren't many of you left to buy my wares anyway."

Fin couldn't think of anything to say. Everyone in this kingdom was on the edge of a metaphorical and literal precipice, living post-apocalypse with no hope and no way out but to leave and brave the wastes. Even Fin couldn't get out the way it came in, not with their torn wing. They simply bowed their head in thanks, donned their new helm, and retraced their steps.

There was a small, peculiar bug at the foot of the statue when Fin returned. It stared up at the Hollow Knight blankly, clearly not capable of expression behind its mask. It turned its gaze on Fin as they approached and flinched backward.

The two stared at each other for a long moment before Fin gestured toward the vacant buildings in front of them. "Care to speak with me somewhere drier?" The little bug nodded and followed behind Fin.

"I'm looking for the Colosseum," Fin stated, taking off their helmet and shaking as much water off it as she could. "Do you know where it's at?"

A map appeared in the bug's hands, and it was soon spreading it out on a nearby table and pointing to a doorway near a large lift that connected the City to the Crossroads. It drew one little pointer finger down a long hallway, ending in a drawing of what could only be the gaping maw of a large, dead, grub-like bug.

[Oh, perfect. A Colosseum built into a corpse. I'm sure it smells great.]

Fin did their best to bite down the complaint in front of their guide. "Thank you, fair Knight. I wish you well on your journey."

The bug seemed to try to blink at them, but their mask remained stiff and unchanged despite the welcoming air about them. Fin placed their helm back over their head and gripped the hilt of their nail as they walked. Their resolve wavered.

[I have to do this. I love doing this! I haven't fought in a long time. This is what makes me happy. I...

I just want to be happy again.]

---

The lift didn't stop at the ledge that Fin needed it to, and pulling the lever to send it upward shut the doors on them. Without flight, they opted to climb atop the lift itself (who put spikes on the roof of a lift??) and scale the chain that pulled it upward. Their forewings and cloak helped it glide to the platform, and it was only a straight shot to the Colosseum from there.

It was indeed located in the corpse of a massive bug.

"Oho, another warrior enters!" A tiny pillbug hung upside down, bound in chains, greeted Fin as she entered. The sounds of battle could be heard further down the hall, and several corpses hung similarly behind the pillbug. "Ours is the final destination for all seeking trials of intense and deadly combat," he continued.

"How do I enter the tournament?" Fin asked plainly.

"All one has to do is place their mark upon their Trial Board of choice and lo! The arena's gate will open," the bug answered. "There's a small fee attached to each trial, but I'm sure as skilled a combatant as yourself will have accrued a wealth of Geo.

"Now, before you draw your nail and rush eagerly to battle, I'll offer one quick word of advice. There's a warriors' pit just below here, where others like yourself await their own trials. I'd strongly advise using it to rest up before placing your mark." Fin nodded in response.

"Oh, and have no doubt, I'm a fearsome warrior myself. Don't go judging me by my size, or my current… errr… constraint. The Colosseum beckons us both! I'll be back in battle soon."

[Mhm. Sure.]

They left 100 geo with the bug and made their way to the pit. It was filled with snoring warriors, all large and clad in six-eyed armor much sturdier than the crafted shell that Fin wore. Another twinge of doubt twisted in their chest. Their eyes landed on the ant from long before, hunched over on the lone bench and eyes lidded in something like focus.

"Oh, soft thing. You've made it as well. I hope you're prepared, because if you last long enough, you'll face me, and then..." he trailed off meaningfully.

[I'll show you soft.]

The Trial of the Warrior was easy enough. The spike floor was unexpected, and the floating platforms tested her balance but Fin made it through without much fuss.

After the Trial of the Conqueror, they felt like they were still covered in the sickly orange venom that all these bugs seemed to carry with them. Poking around the warriors' pit, Fin found a hot spring that seemed to heal their wounds and ease their mind without feeling like they were getting dunked in water. She lingered in the spring, letting it work whatever magic it was.

The two trials had been... exhilarating. But fun? Would they call the trials fun? Would anyone be jealous of their position at this rate?

There was only one trial left. They had to finish this.

They paused when they read the name of the final trial on the board.

The Trial of the Fool.

Fin certainly felt like a fool toward the end of the trial. She was exhausted. This wasn't fun anymore. Was it ever to begin with? What were they trying to prove anymore? They were just jealous of Eight's happiness, that's what sent them down this awful path. Who were they, to stoop to jealousy? Of a helsmet, no less? How pathetic.

There was a break in the waves, for a single, brief, beautiful moment. No more, no more, I want to go home, I'm so tired. I'm such a fool.

The ground shook.

The gate opened.

A little roach on the back of a large Beast entered the arena to the fanfare of the crowd. Fin had almost forgotten the crowd was there, so lost in the battle.

The God Tamer, she was called.

She leapt off her beast and readied her weapon, and Fin did the same, despite the exhaustion weighing on its limbs. Dodging the beast's rolls and acid spitting was easy enough, but the God Tamer fought with more precision, coordinating her strikes with her steed's.

If they died here, their corpse would be thrown out the back with the others and fall, down into the windy wasteland of the kingdom's edge, until it was either reanimated by the Infection or dissolved in a pit of acid.

Lighten up, they thought, and it sounded like Eight's voice. You're so dour! Then she'd say something like, Come sit with me, I can't finish this muffin by myself and I won't have any more customers until after the battle.

Something like yearning flared in Fin's chest, growing and eating them alive from the inside. She just wanted to be safe and happy now. Where was all of this getting her? They parried another blow from the God Tamer and dodged to the side of the Beast.

The glow of the lanterns caught their eye. Something like yearning. Something like hope.

These lanterns were not made the same as the ones in the Overworld, or even the ones in Hels, but it could work. With enough determination, pure want and will, perhaps Fin could go home.

They hesitated only a moment, gathering themself, before throwing their body at one of the lanterns in the arena.

She barely heard the crowd gasp before they were sailing over Eight's counter and into the middle of the street. A lizard-shaped helsmet stopped short, momentarily blocking anyone from stepping on them, and then Eight was speaking and helping them up and around the back of their normal-sized stall. Back in the world of giants. Back in Hels.

Fin could tell that Eight wanted details, wanted to have a long talk, and Fin wanted to have that talk now too, but they were still exhausted from the last trial. For now, she accepted care from her helsmet, closed her eyes, and breathed.

#rns but make it hollow knight flavored #mosswrites #probably not gonna crosspost on ao3 because idk how to tag ocs over there #i'm really hoping that theoretically the traveling between hermits and helsmets is mutual #actually either way it lends to the thing i'm kinda doing here #like who's really the hermit and who's the helsmet?#these guys absolutely cannot figure it out #or at least fin can't #you're insecure.... dunno what for... ya turnin heads when you walk thru the doo-o-or #sorry don't know what came over me #LOL. ANYWAY.#eight the moth #fin the moth #i listened to sealed vessel while writing the god tamer fight. if u care.#actually i listened to helsknight's playlist while writing the majority of this #these tags are a mess #WHAT THE FUCK IT'S LIKE 4AM?????#*posts this and goes to sleep*

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becauseplot · 10 months ago

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dont mind me tripping and falling in here again. but i would also love to hear about botw au. legend of zelda au's my absolute beloved they have me running circles around my room. adrenaline shot straight to the heart nothing digs its claws in me quite like loz and i am so so interested to hear about it!! clingyduo doomed to save the world in every universe,,,, i'm invested already

thank you so much for humoring me, i love botw aus so much theyre aaaa!! aaAAAAAaaAaaAAa!!!!

so yeah this originally started bc an old friend of mine and i were talking and i forget who suggested it but we were like "hey wouldn't tommyinnit as link be so funny? because tommyinnit is like the exact opposite kind of feral-energy of botw link. loud and swears and uncontrollable and headstrong. hylia's most annoying hero." and things just devolved from there. it's fully a Crack Treated Seriously situation because i spent actual months working out lore n worldbuilding and whatnot fhdjskhfdk.

the fic is officially called Well, Excuuuuuuuse Me, Big Man: The BotW AU No One Asked For (or WEMBM for short)

basic layout (as far as i went with it anyway):

tommy more-or-less follows the order of what you're "supposed" to do to to beat the game: plateau->kakariko->hateno->kakariko again->four main regions->master sword->ganon. of course there are a lot of detours and back-tracking and skipping around for hyjinx

main regions/inhabitants are replaced: Zora->Axols (axolotl "hybrids"), Gorons->Piglins, Rito->Elytrians, Gerudo->Enderians

each of the above races have their own cultures that are loosely based off of the game's original counterparts and some mcrp fanon + personal headcanons thrown in. they're customized to incorporate some (mild) minecraft elements!!

old champions: Mipha->Niki, Daruk->Technoblade, Rivali->Philza, Urbosa->Ran (based loosely off of tftsmp Ran, effectively an oc lmao????)

new champions: Sidon->Foolish (Niki's younger brother) and Jack (Niki's best friend), Yunobo->Drista, Teba->Wilbur, Riju->Ranboo

all of their personalities more-or-less remain intact (which is why the fact that i put The Old Man / King Rhoam as Schlatt so fucking funny)

divine beasts keep their names but the creatures change!! Ruta is a glow squid, Rudania is a blaze, Medoh is still a bird (LMAO i might change this because...), Naboris is a phantom

some scattered details

wilbur is both the "new" champion role AND kass' role!! he and tommy meet early on in his journey (at his first visit to Hateno) but tommy doesn't learn about wilbur's heritage (Philza was his great great great grandfather) until MUCH later. they run into each other a lot during their travels.

wilbur also has a hardcore crush on an axol warrior named sally, which tommy teases and embarrasses him relentlessly for

tubbo (zelda-role) keeps zelda's arc of not being able to develop powers. the key difference is that tommy and tubbo are friends before the calamity business starts to get serious, and tubbo's frustration drives a wedge between them

(angst time: clingy duo has a Big Fight during that one sheikah slate Memory on the palace tower bridge, and they never get the chance to apologize to each other before it all goes to shit and tommy dies sacrificing himself to save tubbo.)

techno and phil are old friends from when they'd do colosseum fights together. they haven't talked much for a few years before becoming champions, both too busy with their respective duties at home, but the moment they realize they've both been recruited well, they're inseparable

windbombing, bullet-time bouncing, and shield clipping are canon. don't question it.

champion ran is a dick (think revali) and the only one there they respect is niki because they underestimated her and then she proceeded to floor them during a sparring session (and she didn't even threaten them with a water based attack, it was all skill)

awesamdude (most people call him "sam", he's ranboo's personal guard) has a half brother named awesamnook (most people call him "nook" or "samnook"). he's the Beedle-role and he talks in all caps like an npc ("HELLO TRAVELER." "Why are you shouting---" "HAVE A LOOK AT MY WARES." "Okay---")

bad runs the yiga-equivalent egg cult that, instead of disguising themselves as travelers, simply uses sprouts of blood-red flowers with a toxic pollen to mind-control bystanders into attacking tommy (yikes)

have some highlights from the few chapters i've written of tommy on the great plateau (yes, the entire google doc is written in comic sans)

tommy immediately sassing tubbo's disembodied voice:

tommy is 7 feet from the cave and is shoving things in his mouth:

(I should also mention he has a pet beetle in his pocket named Sir Legs)

tommy has a grudge against the sheikah pedestals, it's a whole arc on the plateau as he slowly comes to love and appreciate the pedestals and what they do for him:

old man J vs tommy's unwavering optimism(bullheadedness):

tommy vs disembodied voices:

tommy vs the first shrine:

tommy meets a monk:

pulling a direct line from philza's botw playthrough for this one:

me when i fast travel:

The loading screen says: "Leaving Comments: Leaving comments on a fic is a great way to make a writer go :D and give them the motivation they need to continue their bullshittery."

also some chapter titles:

#LONG ASS POST ALERT (and i didnt proofread this lol)#but yeah can you tell i miss this fic #lightningbig tysm for humoring me today. i just feel weird talking abt au ideas if im not prompted?? anyway ur the best <33 #the lore doc is 28 pages long and that's not including some of the stuff i haven't written down yet fhdjsk #this functioned as my “no thoughts head empty just write dumbassery” fic when i was working on it and i think its abt time it makes its-#-return with a little facelift and more cubitos tossed into the mix #asks for curly #WEMBM

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scurvioli · 1 year ago

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I want to create a colosseum in Minecraft

#like #the whole thing #a way to bring in dangerous mobs #and to flood it so you can fight in water

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snezhnayansnow · 9 months ago

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More One Piece!

Watching Dressrosa now...

I'm sure my husband is getting hella sick of me lmfao

But in all seriousness... One piece's number one rule: women are useless!

It doesn't matter how cool, how op, what the power is, how strong, how hyped up they are...

Women

Are

Useless

And it's killing me!

I won't even talk about the designs of the ladies but let's list our Dressrosa beauties:

Violet (Princess Viola) - to save her father she becomes an assassin for the Donquixote Pirates. That's so rad! She ate the Glare-Glare fruit (now the ocean hates her) which gives her these amazing clairvoyance powers and shit. She was going to fight Sanji till she was moved by his dedication and ability to see through her. She didn't want to work as an assassin, she wants to save her Kingdom! What a total badass! And then as soon as she joins the Strawhats... Useless. A man had to remind her to use her powers to locate the Tontatta Princess, Mansherry... And now she's nothing more than a pair of binoculars to watch the split up Strawhats. After she FOUGHT SANJI and FOUGHT TO SAVE SANJI! Did we forget about the whale tears? What the fuck!?

Rebecca - What a woman! Even though the whole country hated her, she entered the colosseum. This woman wanted to win to save her country so she could live peacefully with her dad friend! And even though I hated the fact here's a girl that's gonna fight but doesn't wanna hurt people... This bitch stuck to her guns like a fucking champ! She didn't hurt shit and is such a good dex fighter! Holy fuck!!! Of course she lost to Sabo because ya know...... But she joins forces with the Strawhats to save her Kingdom from the Donquixote family. And since she doesn't fight she's now useless........... Will we see more of her? Can she keep rolling those saving throws? Who cares! We'll know she's gonna be useless till one of the men comes along to save her...

Kuween (The Manager) - Here is a woman dedicated to her job! She is THE MOTHER FUCKING MANAGER of the smile factory. And she takes her shit seriously! Her weapon of choice is a... Vacuum? Okay... Um... Vacuums are cool I guess. She can suck up all the escaped rebellious Tontattas, who are slaves at the factory. Yeah she's a bad guy but what a girlboss taking so much responsibility and pride in her work! SUPER!!! Oh no, yeah wait, my boi Franky took her out with a hug and a kiss. Lowly virgin Kuween got played at the absolute MAN POWER of the pervs, Franky and Senor Pink. And is now useless... Like a Hallmark channel movie lead roll, giving up her job because of some useless man. Smh.

Giolla - a super scary art teacher looking mf with a passion for the avant-garde! This lady farts art with the power of the Art-Art fruit (and now the ocean hates her). She turned Chopper into a Minecraft character lmfao. Hilarious! The fact fluffy Doflamingo trusted this old woman enough to get on the Sunny and take the kid and the scientist is amazing! Mango do be trusting his crew! And she would have gotten away with it too... if she wasn't so full of artistic passion and let Brook sweet talk her into art... It do be like that. How come this ugly old broad was the best one yet!?

Baby 5 - yes that's her name, Baby 5. Why? Idk yet, probably some dumb backstory like abandoned by family or something (just finished episode 692: The Struggle with Pica — Zoro's One Finishing Move). However, look at her badass devil fruit... She can turn any part of her body into any kind of weapon using the Arm-Arm fruit (and now the ocean hates her). This bitch turned into a bomb, a fucking bomb, exploded and put herself back together. Fucking rad! So we know she can nuke a place and live. Her downside- she is a female Sanji. Some guy says something and she has to help him... It's sweet. Probably linked to that backstory and wanting to prove she's useful or something... Idk. I know a lot of ladies dream of being a bride and wife one day. So we're really playing this up, but this is totally screwing with her badass abilities. Another Hallmark movie lead roll syndrome claims another op woman... I also wanted to point out, when she fought Franky on punk hazard, changing her upper torso into a gun... She looked like a gun, but last episode fighting another character she changed into a rifle with tits. Are you fucking with me? The gun had to have tits suddenly. I fucking hate this show!

Sugar - the most useful one here, and here's my theory: she's not a woman "yet" but a child. So since since we can't slap tits on her to make her useless, she's more useful. Even though her devil fruit powers stops her body growth so she'll always be stuck with a physical appearance of a child, she's still not perceived as a woman, aka not perceived as useless! With the Hobby-Hobby fruit (and the ocean hating her) she's been turning all the citizens, not citizens, Navy/Marines, and anyone one else that gets in floofer Mango's way into toys, which some how also makes people forget about them. Weird flex, I still don't get it, but okay. She's only stopped by Ussop trying the spicy grape challenge... Which I would have been too. Ussop was fucking terrifying (get that man some milk). But just how useful is she? Well since we saw her freaking out from dudes with long noses and long noses shaped hot dogs... She got some PTSD. So even though this bitch can fight the Tontattas by matching their speed, which is crazy, and can literally make the world forget about you and turn you into a slave for the Donquixote Pirate family, we know how this is gonna end. She'll be rendered useless by some stupid Ussop long nose face thing before she can do any damage to the Strawhats.

Princess Mansherry - Who the fuck spelt her name? Idk, she's in the next episode so I got nothing on her yet except she's crying in the time-out room. Tontatta Princess, Mansherry, who Leo said was "selfish, mean, capricious, and short-tempered" and based on how she was crying for him to save her- bet this girl got a crush on that dude... Boys are dumb (but at least they're useful...)

Wicca - this Tontatta stole Zoro's sword! What a bad ass! We see the Tontatta's strength when she throws a tantrum while arguing with Zoro. And she has the balls to call Luffy, Zoro, and Kin'emon names, cuz they allllllll a special kind of stupid. And she had to put up with all 3 of them at once. Damn girl... And with all that strength what do we see her do? Absolutely nothing. She's become just another background Tontatta... Sad. After she had to do all that work to get Zoro to run in a straight line. She deserves better!

Bian (Pink Bee Squad Leader) - Yes, the Pink Bee herself. Why is she a bee? I'm not sure, I honestly can't remember if the anime said anything about devil fruit or something. Even though she has a title and a whole squadron bee-hind her, what has she actually done? She uhhhhh raided a ship to cause a distraction... And ummmmmmm spelt out some words to start a revolution in the smile factory so her Tontatta friends finally understood they've been tricked. But seriously, what has she done? We see more of that ugly ass beetle man, Kabu, the other squadron leader.

Acilia - omfg I forgot about her! I'm sorry QUEEN! A gladiator at the Corrida Colosseum and like one of 5 people that like Rebecca, this absolute unit of a woman throws her whole pussy into it every time. Honestly, barbarian to barbarian, this bitch serves cunt. She's strong AF and isn't afraid to show off some girly flair with all the cute hearts on her shield. She was fending off that Rolling Logan fool till Cabbage had to ruin it. And of course because Rebecca had to win (her saving throws are too good damn) our barbarian queen fell... But without her help, Rebecca wouldn't have survived. She was useful for one whole episode and that was pretty much it. You go QUEEN! I hope we'll see her again, but since she's such a side character I doubt she'll be showing up ever. You deserve better too, Acilia!

#one piece #anime adventures #conceal don't feel #oda hates ladies #or something #what a cuck #sexism #bro just make a whole world with just men next time #dressrosa

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