#Mentos The Freshmaker

[dimestoretajic]

Got it.

My criteria: It had to have "the" in the middle to denote their title, and it had to be able to be pronounced as "DA da, da DAdada" (in other words, the same meter as "Mentos, the Freshmaker").

Here's the list:

Lucas, the Sharpshooter Bontu the Glorified** Breeches, the Blastmaker Breena, the Demagogue** Brinelin, the Moon Kraken Kenzo the Hardhearted Dargo, the Shipwrecker Doran, the Siege Tower Dromar, the Banisher Eriette, the Beguiler** Ertai, the Corrupted Evelyn, the Covetous Gisa, the Hellraiser Grismold, the Dreadsower Grolnok, the Omnivore** Immard, the Stormcleaver Jaxis, the Troublemaker* Jodah, the Unifier Judith, the Scourge Diva** Kaervek the Merciless Kaervek, the Punisher Kamber, the Plunderer Kellan, the Fae-Blooded Kenrith, the Returned King** Keskit, the Flesh Sculptor Kestia, the Cultivator* Kethis, the Hidden Hand** Kogla, the Titan Ape** Makari, the Lucky Grot** Kura, the Boundless Sky** Laurine, the Diversion Linden, the Steadfast Queen** Lorthos, the Tidemaker Lutri, the Spellchaser Magda, the Hoardmaster Mairsil, the Pretender Negan, the Cold-Blooded Marwyn, the Nurturer Najal, the Storm Runner Neheb, the Eternal** Nekusar, the Mindrazer* Obosh, the Preypiercer Ognis, the Dragon's Lash** Oros, the Avenger Parnesse, the Subtle Brush** Piru, the Volatile** Preston, the Vanisher Rakdos, the Defiler Rakdos, the Showstopper Regna, the Redeemer Ryusei, the Falling Star** Samwise the Stouthearted Saryth, the Viper's Fang** Sauron, the Lidless Eye** Sauron, the Necromancer* Sedris, the Traitor King** Sengir, the Dark Baron** Sheoldred, the Apocalypse* Skithiryx, the Blight Dragon* Slimefoot, the Stowaway Slogurk, the Overslime Sol'kanar the Swamp King* Surrak, the Hunt Caller Tana, the Bloodsower Tawnos, the Toymaker Teneb, the Harvester Thantis, the Warweaver Tinybones, the Pickpocket* Tormod, the Desecrator* Toxrill, the Corrosive** Tymaret, the Murder King Tyvar the Bellicose Uril, the Miststalker Volrath, the Shapestealer Vraska, the Silencer Wilhelt, the Rotcleaver Zedruu the Greathearted Zirda, the Dawnwaker Zo-Zu the Punisher

You've noticed the asterisks. * indicates that it doesn't actually fit the criteria, but it fits the vibe (Tinybones has three syllables, not two, but... fits the vibe!). ** indicates that it's the right number of syllables, but not the right metre (the emphasis is on RO for the word Corrosive, so Toxrill, the Corrosive just doesn't work).

Thank you for indulging me in investigating this very silly thing.

you know how a lot of phrases fit the cadence of "teenage mutant ninja turtles"?

i'm doing the same thing

but by "phrases" i mean legendary creatures

and by "teenage mutant ninja turtles" i mean "mentos, the freshmaker"

the most recent one i've added to the list is "kamber, the plunderer"

i will notify you when i'm done

[xipe-slayground]

How did a charming parody of the Mentos commercials escape That 90s Show? Those commercials were peak 90s.

[shakeitlittletina]

“it’s simultaneously ominous, comforting and goes hard”

Babe chill the fuck out, it’s just mentos

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

This is brilliant. LOVE

This is the funniest thing I have ever seen

(via)

[adtothebone]

“They say I’m the freshmaker but I’m not sure what that means. Maybe it has something to do with the kitty litter?” — Mentos

cdhs.net

[aria-blondie]

mentos, the freshmaker

I almost chickened out on the audition, but ended up pushing through on the morning of, with so very little sleep, even if the sound in the beginning of a couple takes was off, and the deadline ended up being extended to 2100, instead of 1230, right after I'd already submitted, and of course I look absolutely nothing like the storyboard photo, and every little thing was just so incredibly awkward, including the personality part, and I don't know if I shouldn't have done it without my glasses, but...whatever.

Too late to take it back.

And although I highly doubt it's going to lead to anything, at least I was able to finish it.

That's something, I guess.

...probably.

[torley]

Mentos: The Freshmaker!

[leam1983]

smess goes better

menwtol smeeness

smess goes better

with mentwol smess and full of liiiife!

just mispelled mental illness the worst anyones ever done it .

[cowvboyenema]

the freshmaker cannot save you

then mentos must die

[lord-of-khaos]

Do you have bad breath?

Are you a non-channeler?

Are those pesky Aes Sedai always in your business?

Worry no longer, Ronde Macura has the cure for you!

Forkroot : The Witch Catcher

(A Mentos : The Freshmaker Parody)

[Video ID: (Cut video footage from The Wheel Time Episode 2 filtered to look a 90’s commercial. Open with a quick pan over a forest into a white cloak camp, Eamon Valda’s hand sets his cup down as a boy approaches. Switch to view of him smugly at a table. Cut to Moiraine giving Lan her ring as a company of white cloaks approach. She talks with Geofram Bornhold until Valda jingles his ring collection. Egwene watches from afar next to Bela the horse. Lan gives Valda side eye as he checks Moiraine, Valda gives a cheeky smile. Cut to Valda smiling holding a different Aes Sedai ring. Cut to view of angry Yellow Aes Sedai bound and gagged at the stake. Valda wipes some blood from his face joyfully, and reclines back. Title appears next to view of reflective goblet: Forkroot The Witch Catcher.

Lyrics:

[Verse]

It doesn't matter who comes

Witches better go hide

With Forkroot tea for Aes Sedai

Nothing they can do

Staying minty and cool

With Forkroot, walking in the Light!

[Chorus]

Fetch those witches

Forkroot freshness

Fetch those witches

With Forkroot, walking in the Light!

Forkroot, the witch catcher!) End Video ID]

[real-life-pine-tree]

These two are the exact same commercials.

[slowlicious]

Mentos 🍬 The Freshmaker Commercial Jingle Slowed

SLOWLICIOUS ON YOUTUBE

SLOWLICIOUS ON SOUNDCLOUD

SLOWLICIOUS ON TWITTER

SLOWLICIOUS ON TIKTOK

SLOWLICIOUS ON INSTAGRAM

SLOWLICIOUS ON TUMBLR

[contac]

[geoffreytoday]

Cinnamon Mentos. The Freshmaker for short.

[duranduratulsa]

80's Fest food of the day: Mentos #food #foodporn #candy #mentos #TheFreshmaker #80s #80sfest #ilovethe80s

[cherryjams]

Mentos and Coke