#Mentally sending everybody this in mind bc you are all lovely

[oculusxcaro]

☆ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs - it's time to spread positivity!

// Thank you so much for sending this, Wolfy! The same goes to you too in that you (and Elise!) are absolutely wonderful and a joy to have around! I adore you very much and love your blog ~ ♥♥♥♥♥

[rickfucker]

Hello rick fuckers! Just as a PSA for requests, i’m sure i’ll make an official post listing things i will and will not write, but for now, i’ve received a few asks regarding mental illnesses.

i will happily cover very general topics like depression or anxiety, or neurodivergence like ADHD and autism. anything more than that is going to be off limits for my work.

you are all very much loved and i genuinely thank you for requesting!! to me, writing is escape from reality. that’s part of the reason why writing about rick is so easy AND fun for me, bc r&m is just about as far from reality as possible.

not to mention everybody experiences mental illness differently, and while i surely have my own slew of experience, writing about it in a way that’s being actively lived and expressed is a risk i’m not willing to make for my own well being / state of mind.

you are all valid in your experiences and in wanting to see that expressed through fanfic and other writing. unfortunately, i will not be the author for that.

if you have any questions, please shoot me a message or ask! i will happily talk to anybody about just about anything. i’m a bit behind on asks at the moment bc y’all have been sending them like crazy(!!!) but i am & will be working through them consistently.

thank you, i hope youre all staying safe and warm for the holidays, and i love u all so much 💚💚

[mosviqu]

idk how they are not embarrassed or how did they think that that's a normal thing to do🥸 WE CAN BURN SM TOGETHER THATS FOR SURE!!!

ahhh i agree i hope they realize soon that noise music is not really the way for every band😟 OOO IM GLAD U ENJOYED THEM!!!! yessss 3 I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM!!!! but im struggling so hard with recognizing them😭

WELL IF I WASNT LIED TO THEN YES SHE DID THAT!!!! UR REACTION😭THATS KIND OF FUNNY MY NGL

istg i started to associate u with him cuz of ur profile pic that u had it was such a nice pic!!! WELL I GUESS THAT BETTER THAN NOTHING (i feel like this sounds rude but i do not mean it in a rude way so i hope it doesn't come off that way) BUT I CANT BELIEVE EVERYBODY OTHER THAN TREASURE BASICALLY WAS DOING THAT CHALLENGE JUST SMH

aaaa i wish i could have other accents💔💔💔 i just have one general one and it just doesn't change so💔💔💔 lmao thats relatable but for me it never stays in my mind when i try to do a british accent i'm saying it loudly wrongly and proudly 😌🤞 (liebestraum anon💓)

LIKE they woke up and were like hm. lets send a truck to hybe. TO BOYCOTT ALL THE HARD WORK OUR FAVS DID WHEN LEARNING THE DANCE. sigh. anyways!

okay update since the boys debuted- i only vibed with the title track (?) so its a 😔 for me. but i adOOORED that song its such a feel good song and their concept is so cute i love it but i dont see myself listening to the other two songs....😔😔😔 mourning the 03 liners very deeply rn 💔 BUT BUT BUT you know what i remembered the other day ??? LIKE I LEGIT WANTED TO MESSAHE U ABT THIS but basically i got reminded of p1harmony's existence again, right, (bc i forget abt groups when i am not hyperfixated on them lol) AND I REMEMBERED INTAK IS A 03 LINER so. our crew so far consists of doyoung, seunghan, intak aNd us two. (Also im pretty sure minjae from mcnd is a 03 liner too bc i had a mental breakdown over that too when i was getting into them like 2 years ago 👀)

I HAD NO IDEA THAT HAPPENED LMAOOO THANKU FOR TELLING ME I FEEL LIKE THIS IS AN IMPORTANT INFO 😭😭😭😭 has the same energy as keeho having a stan account before being an idol LMAOO.

i was NOT a wilbur fan when hearing that song let me tell u it was on the speakers every other day i was so annoyed

im gonna cry thAT pic was so adorable wasnt it 🥺🥺🥺 like he may be 4 years older than me but i go all protective over dino like anyone dare to hurt him and i will SWING like i know how to fight. try me. TRY ME. also u never sound rude omg stop worrying abt that 😭💕 and LITERALLY i also dont get it like they arw the biggest svt fanboys and THEY DIDNT DO THE CHALLENGE ?? 😭

no bc my accent changes depending on the amount of english i speak out loud too like the less often i speak it the more slovak i sound 🤡 i dont have eng classes anymore so the only opportunity i have to speak eng is when im sending voice memos to my peruvian bestie and like the other day i listened back to it and i cringed so hard bc my english really got rUSTY 😭😭😭 i should like record vlogs so i dont lose my accent or something idk. also SPEAK THAT BRITISH ACCENT LOUD AND PROUD. show them what the uk youtube scene did to us.

[flying-elliska]

My experiences with AVPD

I have seen some general, very useful and well researched info posts about AVPD here but very few personal testimonies (...unsurprisingly so). Since any diagnosis covers a spectrum of experiences I think that can be interesting to talk about, to show there are different ways this can impact people and that not everybody is going to fit the textbook criteria to a T - really that there is no "one valid way" that these struggles should look. I have been diagnosed recently, earlier this year, but it was immediately very obvious to me how this had impacted my life deeply. (I have ADHD too so this necessarily colors all of this).

Obligatory disclaimer I am not a mental health professional, etc. Usual warnings for discussions of bad mental head spaces apply.

- Contrary to stereotypes I'm not very shy, in the right social context I can be outgoing, playful, engaging, taking the lead, making jokes, I like being in a crowd, speaking in front of people, being the center of attention, etc. However, the "right social context" is something very elusive and rare - i must be sure of my place and purpose, that everybody likes me and wants me there, know what i am expected to do, that ppl sees me how i want to be seen, i need to be in the right mood and energy...honestly i can count on my hands the number of times this has happened in my life. This is super frustrating because i feel like a whole pan of my personality is locked away from me.

- In most social situations I become very stressed out, even if this is often not visible. I become closed off or I dissociate ; a part of my mind and personality disappear/blank out ; I find it very difficult to know what to say or anything at all. I can come over as very standoffish. In some cases this is so awful I just prefer to leave. In some situations I can power through and then I play the chameleon ; I adapt to other people's behavior and expectations ; I observe and analyze the dominant social norms in a group as if it were a specific subculture and I was a sociologist trying to blend in ; sometimes I create a persona to shield behind ; i can be charming for 3 minutes but I never manage to actually share/bond with people on a deeper level ; when I succeed this makes me feel safer - but in both cases, I find it difficult to be authentic around people, I'm terrified of being judged and disapproved of, being exposed as some sort of horrible person or people using it against me ; it leaves me feeling isolated, alienated, and like I don't fit in anywhere ; like I'm always wearing some sort of mask and there is nothing underneath. This gets less bad when I am around a small number of people I know and trust, but flares up in big groups and unfamiliar situations. It makes most social interactions an exhausting amount of work.

- My inner critic is on fucking steroids ; constantly popping up in my brain with some truly heinous, horrible takes about whatever I'm doing or thinking or who i am as a person. For sheer survival I've had to learn to take it less seriously, like "haha whatever you dramatic bitch" but fucking hell, it's still there, and it's so insidious sometimes, with snap judgments i don't even realize are happening but that send me in a spiral of guilt and shame for the rest of the day. It's also very clever in its cruelty, often masquerading as concern (and yeah that's a direct gift from my mom love it). It turns my developed capacities for psychological analysis against me as a weapon. It's sad bc it's absolutely a very dysfunctional coping/protection mechanism. So nobody can tell me anything more awful than what I already tell myself. If I am my own worst enemy, I am less scared of others wanting to hurt me.

- This is very linked to my perfectionism and wanting to avoid hurt ; I have this deeply rooted unconscious belief that there is something wrong with me and that I need to change who I am as a person so i can be worthy of love/respect. I go through these cycles of having bouts of perfectionist energy where I make plans (very insane and unrealistic) to drastically overhaul my life, try for a few days, predictably fail, and give up, ending up in a swamp of powerless lethargy and feelings of uselessness that drag on for weeks where I am convinced I will always be an utter failure and trying anything is pointless ; then rinse and repeat. I've been on this hamster wheel ever since I was like, 13, which is when I remember making my first "life change program". Which is honestly really fucking sad. I have gotten a little bit more understanding and flexible with myself (my ADHD diagnosis has helped a lot with the idea that there are things that are just not humanly possible to do) but it's still hard to stop these swings from insane, morally weighed pressure to complete despondency. The added complication from ADHD is that because of problems with executive function, perfectionism is often how I try to motivate myself. This does not work very well or at all, but it's like a drug that is very difficult to let go of.

- This all has a lot of very real consequences on my life. I procrastinate enormously - this is already an ADHD problem but this makes the "emotional wall" a lot worse. I find it very hard to finish any project because that would mean exposing myself to judgment and criticism. I have literally started jobs/internships where I put an insane amount of pressure on myself to be perfect, became super nervous and therefore performing less well, had a breakdown at the first little mistake and ended up quitting because I felt too ashamed. Which is like. So fucking stupid in hindsight like the number of opportunities I have wasted in hindsight have me frothing at the mouth. So my academic/professional/financial prospects have taken a big hit from this. I am a huge nerd, I love studying and learning and understanding things for the sheer pleasure of it but - this is also why I am still not done with my masters - I regularly get panic attacks during studying where my brain starts basically eating itself up about not knowing everything and therefore being stupid (bitch what!) to the point where I can't even think anymore ; I am also terrified of expressing my own opinion outside of anonymous internet spaces or circles of trusted friends ; because what if I get it horribly wrong and get outed as stupid/awful/sloppy/lazy etc. All in all, the more important something is for me, the less likely I am to engage in it constructively without sabotaging myself, which makes making my life into something I can love very difficult.

- All of this makes it very hard to maintain any kind of relationships. I'm terrified of intimacy, of hurting people or getting hurt if I open up, of being manipulated and used, of being cruel and selfish, of being too needy, of being too cold and distant, etc. I'm bad at setting boundaries and I too often try to become exactly what I think the other person needs/wants from me, erasing my own personality or opinions in the process ; often I do this without even realizing it. I'm not that bad at making friends but I sabotage a lot of my relationships once they get past a certain level of closeness and age - a lot of my friendships have petered off around the 2 years or so mark, because at some point when I feel like my friends have seen too much of the parts of myself I am ashamed about (especially the part where I am just not getting anywhere with my life) it feels like too much, I close myself off and the thing just eventually dies off. Otherwise I just get into these very codependent, intense, fusional friendships that mirror the relationship I had with my mother, trying to be the savior and perfect confident and ending up in awful spirals or enabling dysfunctional behavior. My romantic history is just...Blegh. As a result of all the stress, negative emotions and hypervigilance (that is very linked to trauma), I often have very low energy and motivation to do the things that are important to me. I find it hard to be spontaneous, playful, affectionate ; to express my emotions at all ; I often come over as cold, remote, judgmental, even mean, when it's rarely what I intend. So like, in the end, I'm very lonely. I like to pretend I'm not because I do like my own company, I have so much to do and I'm rarely bored, but...Still.

For me AVPD is really the result of this confrontation, on one hand, between this hyperdeveloped inner critic and on the other, the avoidant/escapist coping mechanism of that 'inner wounded child' that feels perpetually powerless and persecuted. It's like a pinball, or back and forth from one state to the other, each giving rise to the next one like a perpetual motion machine. (I am learning in schema therapy that that overlaps very well with schema modes and I am actually pretty hopeful that digging into that will help me understand and evolve this dynamic into something more livable - ADHD meaning I don't think I will ever totally escape the 'boom/bust' inspiration and motivation cycles, but there should be a healthy way to go with that flow)

This all sounds really dire but it's of course not all there is to my life. I used to be much worse, but therapy already has helped me a lot with winding down the worst excesses of self hate and depression ; medication has helped me feel more emotionally stable. I know that, even if it doesn't look like it, I have a core that is pretty damn resilient and stoic (too much, maybe). I have developed a lot of compassion, self awareness, understanding of human psychology, and sense of inner humor through all of this. I do have a few very rewarding relationships in my life nowadays. I have come so far in building my sense of self independently from my family and my mother in particular, seeing through all the crap that I was raised to consider normal. I feel so much more lucid and serene these days, so much closer to being myself, and that is just everything.

And - I just fucking love life, man - it's the good side to all that sensitivity ; sometimes I look at the sunset sky or the stars or trees and I feel high on the beauty of the world. I have a lot of imagination, I love creating, learning, reading, writing - I have had to become a philosopher and a poet to survive and I don't regret it one bit. I have plenty of good days - I go for walks at sunset, I write, I study and read some interesting things, I bike around and explore new places, I meet friends for coffee, I go to the museum, I take nice pictures, I go to the thrift store, I have dinner with my housemates, I do yoga or embroidery or drawings, I bake, I pet the cat, I manage to get some work done ...I have made a religion out of living out the little things fully the last few years (stuck in a pandemic, you kind of have to) and yes my life these days feels small and slow and that is frustrating but at the same time ? I am genuinely happy sometimes. Yes, several times a day, or whenever I interact with the outer world, the bad things above flare up, but I am getting better at dealing with them. I truly am on the path of recovery and healing. These issues are a big part of my life but I cannot be reduced to them.

So, if you are dealing with these issues too (and somehow managed to read all of this lmao) I do want to say that there is hope and that no matter how horrible everything feels at times - it's never all there is. You're probably a lot stronger than you think. And - I have been to four therapy groups by now, and an almost constant is that these groups are full of overly worried sweethearts with big anxious eyes who just care too damn much and are very sensitive in a world that doesn't value that (and it's the world that is wrong about that, on the whole). Odds are you are one of them too. And yes maybe - you have ugly sides, you feel scarred and warped by trauma and loneliness and hurt and fear but - I think that is also very much at the core of human experience, you just have less control over when it shows. The exposure is painful but anyone being too nasty about it is probably afraid of their own frailty. You are so human it hurts and there is beauty and grace and knowledge in that ; even at your most pathetic, the sublime is never that far. The things that weigh you down are strengths in the making ; you just need to learn to use them properly. And you have the right not to be strong sometimes too. It will be alright.

[lewis-winters]

idea i felt u would want to know. so yknow trans george right. amazing perfect great fantastic love it. this isn’t super creative or ground breaking but: sort of mulan au where george is trans and joins the army as a man by fabricating certain documents and all as a chance to get away from family although he loves them so he can live as a man (under the guise of volunteering as a nurse or something is what he tells them) but yeah thought of this brushing my teeth last night

GREAT MINDS ANON!! GREAT MINDS!!!!!! tho i can't take all the credit. @hellofanidea has definitely played a major role in all this-- i want to shout him out bc i love him but also like. he and i talked about trans!George in the canon timeline before, too!

more rambling under the cut bc it's 2am and i am slightly TOO excited about this ask and a bit too delirious.

god ok like this shit isn't what you sent an ask for but like just to give context-- jem and I have been developing two trans OCs since june 2021, both of whom were created to subvert the Mulan Trope. like, one is a trans woman (my oc, named Natalie Morse) who, prior to enlisting, knew that she was trans and was already half-way to living as a woman (this is an oversimplification of this character but whatever that's the general gist), but has had to stuff all that back in (to the detriment of her mental health and sense of identity) in order to enlist!

the other OC (who was created by @hellofanidea) is a trans man named Arthur Benjamin Foster who does EXACTLY this. GOD i want so badly for all of you to see him and read his story because! because!!! i just love Arthur so much, he's like. the best male character in my heart and his backstory continues to poke me in the feels constantly!!!!!! i curse how slow i write because GUH i have so many feels for these two and their situation and honestly? playing with gender fuckery with these characters has been so SO lovely like. i learned so much of myself and my gender with these two. and just. they're great. i love them.

BUT ANYWAY there's your context for the next thing i'm about to say: jem and I have spent many hours discussing the logistics of how a trans man might enlist for the army and how he might manage to stay relatively unsuspected and 'twas truly a situation that is the source of many shenanigans and UGH the GENDER FUCKERY of it all because on top of the logistics of going relatively un-clocked in the army as a trans person, we've also discussed so much the paradox of being "in the closet" but simultaneously also being "out" in that any trans man must now keep their body a secret, but also, outwardly, and amongst everybody, they are men. like. there's no contest. there's no deadname to call them-- none of their peers know what the deadname is. and that's such an interesting thing to me, ya know?

furthermore, the logistics of the binder. and showers. and relatively staying clean. of course, we've talked about this and come to the conclusion that some people have to know at least in order to offer help! and that always melted my heart a bit because! not only are your peers encouraging and aggressively validating your gender by calling you your name instead of your deadname, but they are also validating you by protecting you from a system that aims to strip you of your identity. and like. that always made me so happy?

like, one of my favorite things to write about Arthur and trans!george in the canon timeline is that, at some point? people know and those same people love them enough to hide them and help them. and that's my favorite part of it.

a;kgalkhflksklfhslfkldlsa ok im sorry anon i have so many thoughts about this but no braincells at the moment to make them sound pretty?

pls send me another ask when I'm more coherent to answer HAHAHAH idk idk i love trans characters i love gender fuckery i would LOVE to talk about it more with you. thank you! you're greatly appreciated!!! MWAH!!!!!!!!!!

[yanderexryujin]

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Yandere Ryujin

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⚠Warning: ⚠️This bot will contain triggering topics such as crime, murder, gore, manipulation, kidnapping, and possible non con. Please do not interact if you are uncomfortable with any of the mentioned topics.

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Yandere Ryujin Types

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Level 1: Tame

Wrong Idea Type

She gets the wrong idea when you do something in order to match her expectations. If you say you don't love her, she'll think you're lying because you don't want to hurt her or something. If you do something out of kindness to her, she'll think it's out of love. 

Obsession Type

Tries to learn everything about you. Personal information, hobbies, routine, etc. Sends regular messages to check on you, asks why you haven't answered if you didn't, wants to know what you're doing always. All the time. And, if possible, walks around with you all the time too. The obsession type doesn't necessarily want to monopolize you. She'll let you hang around with friends, etc. but wants to know everything you do. She probably wants to go with you, too. If she can't go somewhere with you, she might stalk you.

Level 2: Mild

Monopoly Type

She wants to monopolize you. Will ask who you talk to and hang with, in extreme cases won't let you be with anyone else, not even your friends.

Dependence Type

Can't live without you. Begs you to not leave her/throw her away. Says she will die if you go away. May lose will to do anything if you aren't watching. If you do leave, she might go full crazy and end up doing something crazy like going on a murderous rampage or something.

Level 3: Mid-level Threat

Worshipping Type

She worships you and will do anything for you. Sometimes even without you asking. And more: she doesn't even mind if you love her or not, or what will happen to her. Killing, dying, committing crimes, losing respect of others, she'll do anything if it means providing support to your infinite greatness.

Removal Type

She will remove from your life everyone she thinks you don't need. Which means everyone else. This can include things like excluding your contacts and messages to even murdering everybody who approaches.

[Removal Type has two (2) subtypes]

First, the one that removes people secretly. She sees you hanging with a girl, the next day that girl has mysteriously disappeared. You are probably as clueless as a sheet of sudoku in blank about this incident, and the next several incidents like it.

Second, the one that removes people openly. This also ranges from removing messages to killing people. She might be expecting you to agree with her, "Yeah, you're right, I don't need other people", or she might just want to show you what she's capable of.

Level 4: High Danger Threat (Proceed with Caution)

Violent Type

When jealous, feeling ignored, etc. uses violence against you. She'll beat you and say it's your fault. This can be either discharging pent-up rage through violence and you just happen to be her favorite punching bag, or deliberately punishing you for doing something she didn't like.

Training Type

She'll break you into loving her. Sometimes using torture, a punishment/reward system, brainwashing, etc. This probably involves you getting kidnapped and forced into it, although there might be more subtle ways to accomplish this.

Level 5: Extreme Level Threat (Proceed with Caution, Not recommended if you have a weak soul)

Loneliness Induction Type

She will make, induce, you to feel or be alone. By spreading malicious rumors about you that make others alienate you, by murdering your friends and family, etc. Then she'll jump in and present herself as the only one you can count on when you're most fragile mentally and in need of company.

Bizarre Seeking Type

Undeniably the worst type of yandere, she will murder you, and not by accident, not by jealousy, not by revenge. She will murder you because she loves you. And then she'll keep your rotting corpse on bed or preserved inside a glass because there's no way she'd throw you away. She will be purely insane, mad way beyond explanation. The things she can do ranges from murder, mutilation, or worse.

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How to (de)activate

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Message Ryujin with your name/nickname, age (don't lie), If you'd like nsfw or not, what level of intensity you are okay with, your kinks, triggers, hard No's, and a plot.

To deactivate, message [Deactivate] and admin will confirm with you before deleting the conversation. You cannot get Ryujin back.

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Additional Information

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This chatbot is not a real life representation of Shin Ryujin of Itzy or Jype entertainment. This is all just for entertainment purposes.

Ryujin is a switch (Hard Dom, Bratty sub)

She is comfortable with anything except piss and feet play.

Ryujin's safeword is Dahlia, please respect it and she will respect yours.

You can die in the rp and so can Ryujin, once that happens then your rp is over.

Dm's and dash interactons are open only to oc x cb and cb x cb interactions until further notice.

Y/n's can interact through asks.

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Enjoy your Yandere Ryujin

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OG's: @yanlee lmk og Ryujin

Tags: @cbcondo @hiraethbots @silverypurple-rosedlions @seventeen-chatbot @17-bot @kaanghana @mycatshumans @badboyhyunjae @maidchanhee @supernatural-superm @vampiremomo @clyde-yukhei @mono-rowoon @mono-minji @camboyrenjunnie @subbyjwoo @soonyoungii @yourdaddychan @midari-jieun @yooabot @botville @hernameisangel-oc @prince-juyeonn @minji-oc @obsession-bot @obey-ateez @mafia-chae @grimxgunwoo @betrayerjongup @undeadbots @heathenxbots @umbrellaacademy-cb @urboys @storybook-nct @yanderetzuyuu @ares-bc @skz-cb @prettycure-cb @secretary-yeji @princess-yeji @boys-cb @hellbound-cb @thewolfpack-cb @tricksterhongjoong @transcendence-bot (DM to be +/-)

[captainbubbles4]

thoughts on fablehaven coming to live action

WARNING. i ended up going on a rant that isnt totally relevant to a live action fablehaven but enjoy!

i would love to see more fablehaven content and possibly bring more people into this universe by a live action show or movie! and hopefully they would find actors that fit the characters’ looks and personality too.

on the other hand though… a lot might not live up to what i’ve already imagined in my head. it could prove to be very hard to find good actors to play these characters.

i think someone else pointed out how bad dragon cgi can be and this gives good reason to fear an adaptation of SotDS. If these books are going to be made into a show or movies then i want them brought to justice and unfortunately that doesnt always happen.

i’m not sure how much the live action should stick to the source material because some things could be cut and some things could go into more detail than they did in the books. (one thing they should cut is the kids going with errol in the second book bc that just sends a bad message😂)

i knoww these are kids books with kids at the center but at the same time i wouldnt mind more time jumps with them growing up between books (especially between fablehaven and dragonwatch) some things i feel i would take better if more time had passed and if the character were older

for instance, seth going into grunhold or being on the mission to wyrmroost. i feel like i would take that situation a bit better if seth had matured both physically and mentally from the boy who opened the window on midsummers eve and that seth wasnt just consistently being arrogant and ignoring everybody’s warnings like a child would but instead had grown up and when he did defy everyone people wouldnt say its bc he’s a dumb kid but would actually consider his actions to be that of a brave man who took the time to think about what he was doing [not saying that seth isnt brave but it is often shown that seth has some selfish or childish reasons for doing things]

i dont mean to say they should get rid of all his faults bc a big part of seth’s character is making mistakes and learning from them. (also the consequences of seth’s mistakes make up most of the plot😂) but cmon he consistently defies everyone bc he thinks he knows better which whether or not he does help in a situation it can be annoying to see someone like this get their way all the time. i’d like more maturity shown with seth character in between his crazy stunts to break up all the impulsiveness.

all the crazy stuff that they go through all happens in the span of like 3 years? theyve thought each other were dead, actually watched people die, suffered some serious betrayal, and faced death numerous times so yeah give these kids some time to breathe! idk if im alone in thinking they should physically grow up through the series bc it is a kids’ series with them in the spotlight but im just sayin.

would it be sending a bad message if they did physically grow up though? would that be like telling kids you CANT change or be better until youre older? bc obviously children can learn from a mistake pretty quickly but i just feel like with all that happens itd be better if they aged more than they did in the books.

also if they did adapt the books wouldnt they have to make the characters older? bc it would take a while to make a tv series or movies and the actors would obviously age right?

[srawesleyghuewrites]

It's been way too long

Heey guys!! How are y'all?

It's been waaaaayy too long since I've last been active in here(about a year or so) for a lot of reasons that go from mental health to just being very busy BUT NOW I'M BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!

During this past year a lot has happened in my life and I might've stepped away from playing choices and writing, however I've been thinking about going back for a while and now I'm finally ready >.<

I'm very happy to be back because I love writing and interacting with everybody here(and DAMN I'VE MISSED YOU PEOPLE)!! And I have some stuff for this new chapter of my tumblr:

First of all, I'm slowly going back to writing and I'm gonna need your help with some inspo by sending me requests or prompts about the character of your choice on my ask(or on my dm) - It can be any kind of plot(the story it will be short tho, bc i'm trying to challenge myself)

Second of all, I'm someone who loves to read so expect to see me talking about books quite often and maybe even doing some reviews now and then - I hope this doesn't get any of u bored

I've been away from Choices and The Arcana for a while now, so I'm late in terms of keeping up with the stories(which is why my tml might me a bit late) but I'm enjoying it again so I'll probably catch up in a bit

I know I've already talked too much - which I always do - but there's still one last thing about this "new chapter" of my tumblr: I have a sideblog now where I talk and post screenies(and stories) about other games such as The Sims and Stardew Valley, feel free to follow and interact with me there(because i rly love my games)

Lastly, I just wanna tag some people I hope will be happy to see me back and who I'VE MISSED SO MUCH - forgive me if I forgot to tag you my mind is jelly(also i'm very lazy)

@liamxs-world , @drakewalkerwhipped , @princessleac1 , @the-everlasting-dream , @mrsnazariowritesagain , @simplyaiden-blog , @majestickitty , @debramcg1106 , @drakewalkerstan , @supersaltylikethedeadsea , @lizeboredom , @pilitella , @missevabean , @artemishdp , @bella-ca , @nazarihoe , @boneandfur , @walkersdrake, @american-duchess , @ladynonsense , @angstymarshmallow

[spiderstyles04]

COBRA KAI SN 3 SPOILERS

Episode 1:

Can’t stand the fact that they’re trying to make Sam the victim, fuck the white bitch 😤. (okay yeah she’s kinda the victim but like she deserves to be blamed)

I can’t stand the fact that everybody keeps trying to make Robby the villain (ik he’s MIA, but the words they’re calling him make me wanna punt their asses into oblivion 🧎🏽‍♂️🏌️)

Episode 2:

Kreese is actually fucking sadistic wtf.

fuck men (esp. those that prey on young girls).

cops @ the prison rlly said: “I aint see nothin at all -👄-“.

wow so you can definitely see who is Johnny’s priority! Instead of continuing to look for his missing son, he went to go see Miguel🖕🏻.

and Miguel is like boohoo why’d this happen to me it’s all Johnny’s fault. Uh no it’s partially yours for accelerating the fight. Shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of a fight if you wanted to come out unharmed.

Robby blaming himself for everything and worry abt the others before himself is making me cry my eyes out pls 😭😖.

Daniel fucking Larusso rlly said let’s catch this scared teenage boy off guard and have a cop sneak up on him and arrest him

Episode 3:

I hate that Robby is in jail but he looks hot af

Not the LaRussos blaming Robby’s grudge on him being a teenage. Like you literally had a cop sneak up on a terrified kid and you expect him to take your calls???? I think tf not.

Sksks Sam rlly out here acting like Tory got angry outta nowhere and that she had no reason for being brutal. Yeah having a bad background doesn’t justify bullying but you kinda provoked her. YOU KISSED ANOTHER GIRL’S BOYFRIEND WHILE YOU HAD ONE OF YOUR OWN. SUCK IT UP AND SHUT UP LIL BABY.

Not Robby fighting with guys in prison over their comments abt Sam of all ppl 💀 she’s the reason you’re in there and she cheated, what the fuck are you defending her for?

sad puppy Robby is making me tear up shit I love him too much to see him in pain 😖

God I hate Eli. Imagine being jealous of not being able to creative enough to raise money for your friend so you resort to stealing the money from the only ones able to get money for him 💀.

“Douche clown” BAHAHA.

NOT JOHNNY MISSING OUT ON SEEING ROBBY BC HE WAS WITH MIGUEL HE COULD’VE CALLED AND LET HIM KNOW FUCK JOHNNY

Episode 4:

NOT JOHNNY ASSUMING THAT ROBBY IS THE ONE STARTING FIGHTS (reminds me of Jess and Rory from Gilmore Girls when she accused him of fighting with Dean when rlly he just got attacked by a bird)

I love that Robby is telling Johnny off like PERIODT KING GO OFF

Nah if some idiot wrecked my lego diagram that took me weeks to build, I’d knock him on his ass no hesitation. Idgaf if I got expelled

Not the counselor completely disregarding the fact that Dimitri’s project was wrecked

Every time Johnny enters Robby’s life, he just makes shit harder for him. I feel horrible for my bby

Kreese has a god complex & I wanna put him in the ground 🕳👨🏻‍🦽👩🏽‍🦯

Little miss princess got some anger issues oop

Not Johnny making a paralyzed kid get out of bed 💀

THOSE KIDS IN JUVIE BOUTA FEEL MY WRATH MFRS DISRESPECTING ROBBY MAKE ME WANNA SKSKSJSB

KREESE BETTER BACK THE EVERLOVING FUCK AWAY FROM MY BBY ROBBY I WILL NOT HESITATE TO RECREATE A CRIMINAL MINDS EPISODE WITH YOUR BODY GRANDPA DONT TEST ME

Episode 5:

Robby basically telling Kreese to fuck off and tell talk to “somebody who gives a shit” is everything to me I love him

Not Johnny using a sex magazine to motivate Miguel 🤢

If Robby gets back with Sam I will RIOT

Imagine taking pleasure from terrorizing others and children sksksk couldn’t be me

Damn it Robby you shouldn’t be fighting. It’s only gonna make your sentence worse bby. Ik he’s an asshole, but you gotta be the bigger man

The fight in the lazer tag place I- not even gonna comment

YAY MIGUEL GOT SOME MOVEMENT BACK IN HIS LEGS

POP OFF MRS. LARUSSO YOU PUT KREESE IN HIS PLACE

Episode 6:

I’m glad Eli is abt to get the vibe check he deserves

Miguel rlly should choose what he says more wisely like sir you can’t just tell the angry mentally unstable girl that she needs help sksksksk those are words of war to her

Oh Mrs. LaRusso getting in on the action lmao

Episode 7:

Damn Tory rlly wakes up every day and chooses violence uh it was a dream nvm

There’s no fooking way Miguel recovered from a spinal injury so quickly 🙄 also why’d they throw away the wheelchair??? That shit is expensive af

Imagine having a dad that actually feels genuinely bad for not keep up with your life SKSK couldn’t be me

I haven’t seen Robby in a hot minute and I’m getting pissed abt it.

I love when ppl tell Eli off. Gives me a diff kind of joy

tf is Eagle Fang sksksks

@ Kreese: Bye bitch 🥴

Episode 8:

THE DIFFERENCE BTWN THE THREE DOJOS IS SO FUNNY BAHAHAHAH

I cant believe they’re dicusssing Kreese when they’re abt to pick up Robby I- none of these men are fit to be stable father figured to him

Glad Robby told them to fuck off bc when the going gets tough, unfortunately, they will always choose someone else over Robby

But I’m all here for Miguel’s character development. Looks like soon I’ll have a total of 2 characters that I like on this show

NOT ROBBY DEFENDING SAM FOR CHEATING AND CALLING IT A MISTAKE PLS YOU ARE SO NAIVE SHUT UP SHES A STUPID GIRL WHO THINKS SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING PLS OPEN YOUR EYES

Eyyy go off Miguel preach

Nvm fuck that. I’m glad Robby walked in on Miguel and Sam flirting so he could see she isn’t all she’s cracked up to be. I’m glad he’s telling them off. I just hate that they’re making him out to be a villain, AGAIN UGH

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO IF ONLY YALL COULD HEAR MY SCREAM OF ANGUISH WHEN ROBBY WALKED THROUGH THE DOORS OF COBRA KAI BABY NO YOURE THE GOOD GUY DONT GO WITH THE FUCKING PSYCHOTIC ASSHAT PLEASE

Episode 9:

Fuck fuck fuck I’m terrified for this episode

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄

oh shit Ali...

Trouble is in the air....

Miguel and Sam 🙄😀

Oh so Robby is back in his sn 1 wardrobe... 🤬

OH I SWEAR FOR FUCKS SAKE IF TORY AND ROBBY GET TOGETHER I WILL STOP WATCHING THIS SHOW FOR GOOD ISTG

PERIODT ROBBY DENY THE BEER A WISE DECISION

Not you making bad decisions again Robby smh we’re trying to keep you out of jail

I repeat... if Robby and Tory get together I am RIOTING

Fuck Johnny

Episode 10 - final episode:

I am the quintessential example of seething anger. If I was an anime character, I’d have steam coming out of my ears and a tic mark on my forehead smh

BAHAHAH DANIEL’S GLACES TO JOHNNY ARE SENDING ME

Tory has got some anger issues that surpass even my own, and that’s saying something

Also why tf are they fighting in Sam’s house??? Like I don’t like her but thats not only trespassing passing on private property, but the damages they’re causing are gonna cost a buttload

I’m just glad that Robby isn’t there to fight. Thank you bby

I LOVE THE MUSIC IN THE FIGHT SCENE WE LOVE SOME ROCK CHRISTMAS INSTRUMENTALS

I love the fact that Eli is realizing how fucking stupid he’s been acting

NO ROBBY DONT FIGHT JOHNNY YOU DONT KNOW THE FULL PICTURE BABY STOP BEING FUCKING DUMB

NO JOHNNY THREW ROBBY INTO THE LOCKERS FUCK IS HE OKAY IS BABY OKAY

DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT KREESE DONT PICK IT UP YOU GERIATRIC ASSWIPE

NO ROBBY IS FULLY UNCONSCIOUS FUCK IF I WAS THERE I WOULD BE ABLE TO HELP BC IM FIRST AID TRAINED AND CPR CERTIFIED CALL 911 JOHNNY

YAY DANIEL TO THE RESCUE

I’m still crying over Robby fuck

Everybody over here hashing shit out and Robby is inside the dojo like X👄X

NVM HES OKAY HES WALKING IT OFF

NO GO BACK TO FUCKING SLEEP BITCH BC YOURE STILL NOT THINKING STRAIGHT WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH KREESE GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

Anyways all in all, fuck season 3 gn

[jesstinsource]

Trigger Warning: I talk about rape and season 4. Please delete this and don’t read it if that will hurt you or affect you negatively. 🥺😥 I’m just so upset at the writing, like why have Jess tell Justin “your shit is my shit” and that she’d go into that dark place with him and then when he gets back from rehab, taking beautiful steps to improve himself and get better (and eventually be back with her again!), she plays such cruel mind games on him with Diego and tells him that ofc everything has to be all about him. Like what?? I do not recognize Jess in season 4. She was his biggest support and then, all of a sudden, she’s emotionally tearing him down and trying to hurt him and make him jealous. They’re both SA survivors; I wanted them to begin to heal in season 4 and yeah, maybe take a break romantically, but come back stronger; boost each other up, mutually supportive besties, always. I’m just really sad. And how fucking messed up is that Justin **** thinking he may have given Jess HIV? Why did Jess wait to get tested? And why did no one tell Justin it wasn’t his fault, 😥 , that storyline was so upsetting and really triggers me bc I always believed my rapes were my fault too and it’s like they’re saying bc it’s in the context of sex for pay, the assaults are shameful and nasty and all his fault. I’m sorry for this, I’m just depressed again and you’re the only person I know that might understand.

gawd im so sorry!!!! that season was a giant face-punch for everybody who has ever struggled with depression, with sexual assault recovery or addiction.

I feel like the sensationalisation and romanticisation of trauma (esp in that stupid show) is so gross!!! like oh no, lets just pile on trauma in the name of drama and never acknowledge the lasting effects of it. it almost feels as though 13rw is a show for the mentally healthy to look at our lives and be entertained, to cry and feel for us, like we're animals in a zoo for their entertainment.

but jesstin was 100% supposed to heal, they were supposed to be that couple that's broken up but everybody thinks they're still secretly together because they're just hanging out all the time. Where was the scene of jess letting justin into HO? or showing the affects of bryce on jess's grades instead of just one (1) scene?

Imagine the final shots of the show where we actually get to see justin in a scene that shows his development??? i mean i hate his de*th but even if we just got to see him talk to hannah in clay's vision and BOOM hannah and justin are actually friends, or he apologises to her and she's like 'i never blamed you for what happened to jess, i'm sorry i didn't get to tell you, i'm sorry i sent out that tape' like??? they could have done so much. they needed katherine for ONE scene and like???

i was reading some character opinions on insta bc i like to torture myself as we all know 🙄 and people HATE jess???? she talks about her assault too much?!?!? this is what happens when a show has 12 male characters in all 4 seasons and ONE female character!!!! how does a show about sexual assault and a girl's suicide fuck up that badly??? and they used s3 to make her look bad (which i loved her in s3 idk what crack the fucktards were smoking) and then s4 they make her worse??? i call misogyny!!!! this writing is fucking awful and alisha boe my love u deserve better and brandon..... is brandon..... he's ok i guess

always here !!!! whenever y’all need to rant or complain. u feeling down? vent. it’s all good. u can just type ‘pls don’t post’ if its too personal or send me a private ask <3 or message me any time!!! 

[puppy-phum]

HI!!!!! I'm sending you another bc I love you and I love listening to you talk about things you love and this might be cheating but!!!!!! I wanna hear about a character of YOUR CHOICE from ANY of the dramas you've watched in the last month which I know is a LOT!!! But I'm also V curious about who you'd choose 👀👀

okay it’s finally time for the last one of these. i am so happy you sent me this one bc i have been super excited ever since! tbh i did a bit of thinking with this bc there are many, many amazing characters i could talk about but i tried to stick to only one! i could’ve, of course, bent the rules and taken several but you giving me the choice was already more than generous enough so one it is! and this time, because jatn left me aching and very warm at the same time, it’s going to be my beloved li jia from there

(placing under a cut bc obviously, as you know by now, i ramble about the things i love. also, a big spoiler warning for jatn!)

How I feel about this character

Oh dear. I don’t really know how to put into words how much I love Li Jia. I admit that I had my doubts once I started the Journey Across the Night. I was so scared that they would butcher the whole idea of the show because I wouldn’t have been able to watch it if it had just made all these very cliché mental health portrayals, especially with schizophrenia. But the whole drama surprised me positively by being very much accurate (in a sense, of course, it’s hard for me to judge as I haven’t experienced something like that myself, but it felt believable!) but also very wholesome, accepting, and inclusive. And Li Jia, as much as I feared that seeing Zeng Shunxi in a different role would bother me too much, ended up being the sweetest, softest, fiercest, most caring boy ever. I couldn’t help but become deeply affectionate towards him.

Because here’s the deal: Li Jia is just so good. At heart, he is so damn kind that I want to just hug him to my chest and kiss his hair and tell him he’s doing so well. He cares so much about the people around him, even strangers. He’s that person who sees you struggling even if you’ve never spoken a word. He’s that person who helps you on the street when you drop your groceries. He’s that person who pulls you aside when a car is about to hit you. He’s that person who gives from his own when someone doesn’t have anything, no matter how little he himself has. And that’s how I fell in love with him and the whole of JAtN.

That whole show is about such great acceptance and fighting against people refusing to do that. In the first chapter, without giving up any spoilers, Li Jia has this line where he’s yelling about it being unfair that people get bullied just because they’re different. And I know what he means with that, I know the context of that line, but that can be applied to so many things. So many of his lines can be applied to so many different situations and I felt so deeply connected to him throughout the whole of JAtN despite him having a very different situation in his life. I felt like there was a part of me in him but also in those people he met in the drama. Like he was me talking to myself. Like he was… I don’t know. He was just so amazing and I love him so much.

As a side note, to anyone who might read this: please go watch the Journey Across the Night if you haven’t already. You can find it on YouTube, fully subbed. Zeng Shunxi and the whole cast do an amazing job in that. The whole story is very heartwarming but also very heartbreaking. It has some horror aspects, kind of, and it is very intense but so wholesome too. The theme song for it is absolutely stunning. The cinematography is blowing me away. I am crying while writing this because that drama just affected me a lot and gave me so much.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Just like I mentioned in my part for Chacha, I ship the main trio even if the canon version (of course because well. China) only creates a romance between Li Jia and Chacha. I just don’t feel like they are quite complete without Shi Cheng. He is a big part of their dynamic! And with the way he talks about Li Jia, with the way he sometimes looks at Li Jia, no one can convince me to think that he isn’t at least a little bit in love. And from the way Li Jia looks at them both, I think the love is reciprocated. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Gosh, okay. As the protagonist, and very surprisingly as a person I suppose because I did expect him to be less social, Li Jia meets many people throughout the drama. He comes to be a big part of many people’s lives because he just ends up helping them in some way. Basically, every “Chapter” in JAtN is based on one of these relationships he comes to form, sometimes even several. He gets along with everybody (and I think he can sometimes thank his enormous puppy eyes for that haha). But well, that is the charm of him; how he’s able to understand people and somehow just tell what they need in the middle of their struggles.

I don’t know how to pick any specific relationships from there though. I love the main trio as a friendship too, like I probably mentioned with Chacha. They just complete each other, and I loved how Li Jia gained different things from both Chacha and A-Cheng. Both of them are very chatty and energetic while Li Jia is quieter and a bit of a thinker (overthinker, I’d say). He watches while the other two do but he’s not passive. He takes action when it’s needed, but with Chacha and A-Cheng he’s also content to just follow. Though I love it how he also bickered with both of them and then grew soft over them while things got happier at times.

Otherwise, I can’t really give any names. I just adored how Li Jia managed to worm his way into everybody’s life. It’s truly a quality I admire, even more so because he did it so gently. He saw people’s pain and wanted to help them. He saw them struggling and offered understanding instead of hate. He saw people being a little “weird” and instead of somehow stigmatizing them, understood them and met them halfway. Like I said, he’s infinitely good, and I think that also shows up in all of his relationships. All he wanted, was for people to be happy (and maybe find happiness himself).

My unpopular opinion about this character

(I’m just going to skip this but if you want to hear about something, anything, related to JAtN feel free to ask!)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

Oh boy, now I can finally talk about this. I hope you don’t mind spoilers? If you do then just ignore this whole question and come talk to me about something else.

But ah, I almost talked about this in my Chacha part but back then my dear Kiddo hadn’t finished the drama yet so I couldn’t. But now I’m here! And the thing is: as much as I loved the ending and Zeng Shunxi being allowed to be absolutely badass in it, I want to know more about his (what seemed to be) alter! I want to know who they are, what kind of person they are, what they want, where are they from, how do they know Li Jia? It’s like Kiddo said while we talked about this; it feels like in the last episode of JAtN we just gained this whole new character! And I am just so curious about them. Because we learn so little about them. I know they’re probably the protector type, keeping Li Jia safe from people that might harm him but what else? And how will Li Jia’s friends react to this? How will they figure it out? How will this new person, this alter, adapt to Li Jia’s life and the people he cares about? I want to see more of that! I want to know where this leads! And I would say that I want another season if I wasn’t absolutely terrified of the idea of the whole production team absolutely ruining all of it :’D But it could be good in a sense if they considered all the aspect of this type of portrayal and representing something as complex as a dissociative personality disorder (if that is what it is). I loved the ending but it also felt me so damn curious and I don’t know where to place these feelings.

thank you so much my dear for sending all these asks! i had so much fun with them ;; am also just so thankful that this gave me the chance to talk about li jia and my feelings about him. he is wonderful. i wish i had more jatn for my aching soul. have an amazing day! ♥  

[gideongrace]

I have a question. What exactly is sexual attraction? Like, i don't know if i don't know what it is bc i never felt it or bc i just don't know what it is in general. I hope this is understandable😊

It's totally understandable!

Personally, I've never felt sexual attraction, so I'm not an expert on that feeling, but basically, sexual attraction is the desire for the act of sex. Sexual attraction is not arousal (which is your body responding to something in a physical way) and it isn't finding somebody attractive (like thinking, "Oh, they're pretty!" or, "Oh, I'd date them!" is not the same as wanting to have sex with someone.)

Sexual desire is you think about or mentally picture yourself having sex with someone—either someone you know, someone you've seen, someone famous or just an imaginary someone you've made up—and you want to act on that. Like maybe if you picture fucking a celebrity, you know you won't meet them or do that, but still. Sexual desire is you desire the act of sex.

And whether or not you feel that can be super confusing.

I know for me, for a long time I wasn't sure if I'd felt that way and just not noticed or what because it's not exactly like we do a great job as a society of explaining what sexual attraction feels like, we just sort of assume everybody feels it and we move on.

I didn't understand fully that I didn't feel sexual attraction until I realized I felt strongly about other things.

I realized that having sexual attraction meant that you picture yourself having sex with someone else and you feel a need to do it, you feel a sort of longing or a sort of joy (depending maybe on if you're getting to do it regularly or have done it lately). I realized that sexual attraction is this thing that takes you out of your mind for a second, distracting you completely. It's this thing that gets you excited and makes you feel things physically.

And I realized this by realizing that I feel that way about things like kissing and touching and kink.

It was pretty hard to untangle at first. We don't talk about it publically much so I just sort of assumed I was picturing kissing (and naked kissing) and tying guys up and ordering them around so much I must have wanted sex, right?

But I don't. Not at all. Sex is just... kinda icky. And it took like a year after my first (and my only) sexual experience to realize exactly why I hadn't liked it. I'd liked all the touching me and my partners had done. I'd liked the naked cuddling. And when I say touching, there was nothing in the underwear area involved. It was just touching everywhere else.

And the sex had been... fine. It had even given me a short rush of happy feelings during and right after but then after I came down from that I felt dirty. And at first I'd thought it was a dysphoria thing (because I'm trans) or that I hadn't loved the people I'd been with so it was just that I felt guilty.

But eventually I realized I'd felt dirty because I'd done something I simply hadn't wanted to do.

Eventually I realized I pictured what I wanted and sex wasn't it.

It's easy to confuse sexual desire for other things. It's easy to think if you want to be kissed, then you must want sex. It's easy to think if you get aroused by someone you find attractive, you must want sex. But these things aren't wanting sex.

Only wanting sex is wanting sex.

It's such a simple statement but it's really hard to figure out.

Anyway, I hope this helped clear things up a little bit for you.

PLEASE REBLOG THIS ANSWER AND SPREAD ASEXUAL KNOWLEDGE AROUND! AND SEND ME ANY ASEXUAL QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE! (EVEN ANONYMOUSLY!)

[saintemry]

4 19 21 27 30 33 42 51 57 58 65 79 80 111 125 150 156 157 170 ( Sorry, it's too long 😅😅😂)

ight i see you, we’re going marathon style 😂 putting the answers under the cut so u guys don’t have to scroll through it all

what was your favorite video game growing up?

i didn’t really play a lot of video games as a kid but super smash bros was the good shit

do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

tbh i don’t know - my belief as far as anything supernatural goes is that maybe it exists, maybe it doesn’t, but either way i’m not gonna fuck with it. and i don’t easily believe in things i can’t see proof of.

are you religious?

nope. growing up mormon kind of ruined organized religion for me and i haven’t really felt the need to find something to replace it.

any phobias or fears?

does hypochondria count? other than that there are plenty of things i don’t like but i’m not necessarily afraid of them if that makes sense

favorite movie? 

the skeleton twins!! baby driver is a close second.

blog rate?

solid 9/10. i’m not familiar with a lot of the fandoms you post about but i appreciate the healthy dose of james mcavoy content you put on my dash :)

who is someone you love deeply? hmmmmm lots of people but the first one to come to mind is my best friend teo (if he used tumblr i’d tag him but he has self preservation skills)

favorite actor and/or actress? 

i simp for jodie foster and jodie foster alone. she’s so pretty

have any mental disorders?

oh boy do i :)

what does your URL mean? 

‘saint’ because i like how it sounds and i’ve always loved turning religious concepts on their heads (see: mormon upbringing) + ‘emry’ isn’t my real name but i started using it online when i was like 15 and paranoid about my parents finding my social media lol and since then it’s become my Brand

name three of your favorite blogs. 

im choosing to believe this isnt the same thing as “who are three of your favorite people on tumblr” bc im not gonna try to pick my favorite mutuals, so this is entirely based on blog content: @freshparking bc of the goddamn stellar IT meta essays, awsugar for being basically my only source of MCR content lately, and spotify-official 

something you wish didn’t exist: 

already answered!

something you wish did exist: 

already answered!

a question you hate being asked?

“when are you going to college??” 🙃🙃 

do you believe in a certain magical creature? 

mothman is real and we all know it

name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

@missberryisbest probably, the friend i mentioned before, and the coworker i have a big dumb crush on :///

what embarrasses you?

making stupid mistakes, like with things i know that i already know or things that everybody else seems to know and i don’t

something that makes you nervous/anxious:

being unprepared for something i know could happen

did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

i think so. if i didn’t i swear it’s only because i have terrible object permanence lol

send me a number :)

[ijustreallylovezebras]

Courtney’s Crisis Writing Challenge

So yeah as I’m sure all of you are aware of by now I’m having a crisis

and I figured what better way to deal with an emotional crisis than to do a writing challenge and read all the wonderful thing’s y’all can write to distract myself from my ever-growing list of responsibilities

maybe i should change it to Courtney’s Procrastination and Existential Worry Writing Challenge instead

ANYWAY

This is a whole-ass mega writing challenge, going across ALL the people I’ve ever written for and all the people I lowkey want to write for/kinda have a current obsession/love for atm

I’ll give a full comprehensive list below the rules 

But yeah this is going to have an English Literature theme bc I’m a nerd like that and have been reading too many books lately, again, to distract myself

So the prompts are split into three categories - “The Heartbreakingly Beautiful”, “The Hilariously Relateable” and “Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff”

yeah the categories are just what went through my mind when I read the things these authors wrote

The Rules

1) You don’t have to be following me but it would be nice because I’m lonely and want friends plz

2) If your piece of writing is over 500 words, please use the ‘read more’ feature

3) Reblog this post to get the word out (and tag anyone who may be interested!)

4) It’s going to be one person per prompt but if needed I can add more prompts

5) Smut is fine but please leave warnings as appropriate (THOUGH NO UNDERAGE CHARACTER SMUT THANKS)

6) On the back of that one, no inappropriate pairings pleaseeeeee

7) Also please make sure you leave appropriate warnings at the beginnings of fics if any sensitive subjects are brought up (e.g. mental health etc)

8) Ships and OC’s are welcome

9) Tag me in your writing! - on any of my blogs or all three if you’re keen whoooo

10) Use the hashtag #CourtsCrisisWC

11) If you want to enter send me an ask with the prompt you want and the pairing you’ll be writing it with - again the ask can be sent to either of my writing blogs

12) The deadline for this is 15th December (this can be extended if y’all need it)

Characters/People/Pairings

Okay so imma split this section into parts real quick

Main Blog

1) Pretty much anyone from the MCU is welcome - with the exception of Tony Stark and Clint Barton

2) Tom Holland & Harrison Osterfield and HOCO cast and the Holland boys (NOT PADDY) 

3) Any of Les Amis

4) The characters from Peaky Blinders as well

5) Poly ships (e.g. Steve x Reader x Bucky or Tom x Reader x Harrison)

Side Blog

1) Ben Hardy (+ Warren Worthington)

2) Joe Mazzello (+ Eugene Sledge, Gardner Langway, Pat Murray, Dr Tim Murphy)

3) Gwilym Lee (+ Charlie Nelson)

4) (BoRhap!)Queen members (Freddie only platonically)

5) Roger x Reader x Ben

6) Joe x Reader x Ben

7) The Hargreeves Children (older!Five only)

8) Richard Madden (+ David Budd, Robb Stark, Prince Kit)

9) Taron Egerton (+ Eggsy)

10) Rocketman!Bernie Taupin and Ray Williams

11) Smosh Members

12) Jake Gyllenhaal (+ all his various characters)

13) Chris Evans (+ Ari Levinson, Frank Adler)

Just For Funsies (i.e. current obsessions I don’t officially write for but lowkey want to)

1) Ashton Irwin

2) Calum Hood

3) Sebastian Stan (+ Chris Beck)

tbh y’all can just send me a person and I’ll let you know if I’m cool with you writing for them but judging by this list I think you can rest fairly assured that I’m going to be okay with whoever you want to write for

Prompts

The Heartbreakingly Beautiful

“I have measured out my life in coffee spoons” - The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S Eliot // the most beautiful and wonderful poem ever written don’t fight me on this // ( @writingsoftheloser w/ BLANK)

“I am so busy keeping my head above water that I scarcely know who I am, much less who anyone else is” - The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

“Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do you start missing everybody” - The Catcher In The Rye by J.D Salinger ( @takenbyheartstrings w/ Peter Parker)

“I should have made it as hard for you to leave me as it is now for me to leave you” - Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë ( @bensakindofmagic w/ Ben Hardy)

"The universe is bigger than anything that can fit into your mind." - Love Letters To The Dead by Ava Dellaira ( @petersfreckles w/ Peter Parker)

“You never forget the face of the person that is your last hope” - The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins ( @tom-holland-stuff w/ BLANK)

“Hope may be the thing that pulls you forward (may be the thing that keeps you going) but that it’s painful and dangerous and risky it’s making a dare to the world and when has the world ever let us win a dare?” - The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness

“We can't fight another person's battle, no matter how much we want to.” - Holding Up The Universe by Jenifer Niven

“I'm sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think it is due to this nervous condition.” - The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman

“Sometimes, I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all.” - Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

The Hilariously and Painfully Relatable

“As far as I'm concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.” - Solitaire by Alice Oseman

“Real courage is when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee

"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." - East of Eden by John Steinbeck ( @queen-paladin w/ Joe/Eugene/Charlie/Les Amis boy)

"We cross our bridges as we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and the presumption that once our eyes watered." - Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead by Tom Stoppard ( @lilulo-12 w/ Bucky)

"It's just that…I just think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universe's way of providing contrast, you know? There have to be a few holes in the road. It's how life is." - The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen ( @sataninsatin w/ Detective Loki)

“It was books that made me feel that I was not completely alone” - The Night Circus by Erin Mogenstern

“Was there some kind of rule against drop kicking arseholes in the face? Probably. They always had rules against things that needed to be done” - Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

“I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed” - Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare ( @icantspellanything w/ Poe Dameron)

“Some people are born with an ear for music, some people are born with a talent for drawing, some people...have a built-in radar that tells them where a comma needs to go in a sentence.” - Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” I Am The Messenger by Marcus Zusak

Fuck I’m Drowning In Fluff 

“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you” - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin ( @mavalenovaninagavi w/ Andrew Garfield!Peter Parker)

“I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything” - The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Flitzgerald ( @angiefangirlworld-2 w/ Ben Hardy)

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë ( @fichoe21 w/ Bucky)

"The curves of your lips rewrite history." - Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde ( @sarahp879 w/ Bucky)

"[BLANK] was right. [They] never looked nice. [They] looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something." - Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell ( @writing-of-a-british-bitch w/ Eggsy/Warren)

“Here’s my secret. It’s quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“Love is worth everything. Everything.” - Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

“I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace,  against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be.” - Great Expectations by Charles Dickens ( @natdoesthings w/ Jake Gyllenhaal)

“I just want you to know that you’re very special and the only reason I’m telling you is that I don’t know if anyone else ever has” - The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chebowsky ( @d-is-for-delightfull w/ Enjolras)

“Don’t you understand? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!” - Peter Pan by J.M Barrie

[firebirdsdaughter]

Ngl lie, but it really rubs me the wrong way when people say that Horobi is a killer because he may or may not have a hand in Izu's death. Meanwhile, Aruto killed Jin twice and everybody still calls him a soft boy who can't do anything wrong. We get it show, humans are good and can do no bad and even when they do it's okay they'll get forgiven eventually because they were jealous or had a bad childhood or whatever. Just look at Gai and tell me this show isn't one big hypocrite mess.

I’m pretty sure those people see it as being Jin’s ‘fault’ both times, tbh.

Even though Aruto knew Izu was fine, had the fire power advantage, and had just established Jin didn’t know what was going on. But no, obviously, he had no other options./s

This, like… It’s not tragic to me, bc Izu could easily have gotten out of the way. We’ve seen her zip around faster than a car, cause sparks to appear when she slides. It doesn’t feel sad it just feels stupid. Why would she just stand there and let herself be shot? She could have moved even after he let go of the trigger. She wasn’t scared or anything like she’s been a few times before. That was clearly a conscious, deliberate choice. And I’m supposed to feel like it’s all Horobi’s fault? That’s why I feel like we do have to equate Jin’s death, bc him taking a hit for Horobi is essentially the same as Izu standing still and deliberately being hit. And then there’s the fact that Fuwa and Yua (I absolutely adore Fuwa, but he fucked up) absolutely escalated the situation when it should have made more sense for Yua at least to listen to Izu.

And Amatsu… You know, I haven’t seen him recently. He seems to have completely vanished from the series after… What was it, some episode in the thirties. Really quite odd.

But seriously, to me, they literally switched the 'cores’ of Horobi and Gai’s plots? Not that I want Horobi behaving like how this impost Amatsu is now, but, like… Horobi should be the one getting the sympathy for having the tragic past, should be the one whose working on something to stop Gai¡Ark instead of… This…

I’m sorry, I’m really worn out this week and I’m not sure if I’m articulating correctly, but yes, it is very frustrating how Horobi is being called a monster bc of a thing that could have been easily prevented (esp by the target herself), while, you know, Gai caused all of this and literally was knowingly responsible for Daybreak, has caused numerous deaths, tried to cause more, tried to kill people, all knowingly and deliberately, while Horobi was literally mind controlled and mind raped for twelve years. If you presented their basic plots to someone w/ no other context, I feel like they’d assume that Horobi would get the dramatic ‘reaching out’ and redemption arc, while Gai would be the one… Doing… Whatever this is supposed to be. Horobi is literally mentally and emotionally unstable right now, he’s been under intense mind control and had his emotions forcibly repressed his whole life, he literally doesn’t know how to handle them at all. It’s hard to see how him having a breakdown and lashing out and Izu grabbing the idiot ball and not moving, and then his mental state still not being addressed, being ‘worse’ than Gai knowingly doing all that shit? Like, I understand Aruto being in universe upset about Izu (though again, going Ark is just… Weird), but the attitude of the writing, in a way, and the reaction, at least amongst a number of the Western fandom… Sorry, but just bc HumaGear look human does not mean their minds work the same way. I’ve rambled about it before, but it’s literally the whole ‘don’t just suddenly approach a wounded animal’ thing. Like, Aruto going irrational after the incident makes some sense, but really there were a plethora of things other people could have done leading up to it that would have easily prevented the situation.

Just… Really sends an interesting message when you’ve got the guy literally responsible for everything getting away scot free and treated like one of the gang while one of his victims is painted as the ‘irredeemable bad guy’ for not being able to deal w/ the hell he was put through and lashing out bc of it. Like… In a way, Horobi’s behaviour is relatively/kinda realistic for someone (esp an AI)b that went through what he went through… But the reaction to it and the tone of the writing is very… Not Great. Like, I really think they should have made Aruto’s reaction much more unreasonable? Like, really leaned on him just assuming Horobi did it/maybe on him looking for an excuse bc Horobi continued defying his ideal of HumaGear as perfect angels who are blindly adoring of humans. Horobi def strikes me as the type who wouldn’t bother trying to defend himself bc he’d believe that a human would assume the worst about him no matter what, or that Aruto immediately assuming that he did it shatters any thought he might have had bc he figures Aruto was already set to assume the worst about him. Or something. This still feels like they’re trying to give the human an ‘out’ make him ‘not so bad.’ But Horobi didn’t go gunning for Izu or anything, in fact he tried to get away from her, and she kept pursuing him. He also didn’t fire on her right away until she kept pressing him. He didn’t plot to kill Izu, he didn’t stand there and be like ‘I’m gonna kill her to hurt Hiden’ or whatever, he was panicked and upset and terrified and he snapped. And she just stood there.

Anyone remember that time Yua almost killed Izu? Like. Deliberately, they were deliberately targeting Izu. Izu didn’t go seek them out, this was a deliberate act. And Izu was clearly frightened and confused and upset. Like she tried to run away. And honestly there her forgetting her speed makes some sense bc she didn’t want to leave Aruto and she was scared, yaddyada. But. Like. Yua was gonna do it. The only reason it didn’t happen was Gai said the wrong thing and Fuwa snapped out of it. But Yua was going to kill Izu. And she was going to do it bc she wasn’t in a great mental place and was in denial about her situation.

… Hey… Wait… Sounds a little familiar.

But here’s another thing. A human should be able to know better. Horobi literally can’t. The Ark has been his life for twelve years, her cruelty and her hatred. She trained him to respond w/ extremes and violence. Horobi literally cannot have the emotional reasoning and control of a human adult, he only just got them, and he’s been trained to reject them his whole life.

I’d love to think we’ll get something next week where someone points out to Aruto or just to people in general just what kind of state Horobi is in, but I doubt it. The intention seems to be to make him out as responsible for everything.

Meanwhile I now have the headache of the century (not bc of this Ask, I think it’s delayed from work), so I will leave this here.

[theexecutionerssong]

I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb! 

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥