#Megatron is both the worst and good at kissing

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Good fucking day, Robot enjoyers! Gaze upon the updated semi-accurate height comparison of Bumblebee across the multiverse.

This is an updated version of a chart I made a few months ago. I had gotten some feedback and then TFOne came out and I kinda had to update it. I also added a Gen 1 Optimus Prime for scale, for fun... no other reason... (edit: slight adjustment made, just corrected a slight mistake in the order)

I am also working on at least two more character charts and one universe chart, so hopefully I can finish those soon (for some fucking genius reason I decided to do the characters that show up EVERY FUCKING UNIVERSE so I'm s u f f e r i n g)

*PST! Optimus, Megatron, Shockwave, Soundwave, Ratchet, and Ironhide ones are done now*

Master Post

Listed Heights, Explanations, and Justifications below the cut, bc you couldn't shut me up if you tried and I had shit to say.

Gen 1 - ~10 feet (TFwiki says greater than 3 meters so I rounded up to the first whole number because round)

Netflix Cybertron Trilogy - ~10 feet (He looks identical to Gen 1 so... the reason his photo looks weird is because I couldn't find a good full body photo with him standing straight up facing the camera so I put two images together to make the worst looking photoshop job you have ever seen)

Earth Spark - ~10 feet (There is no confirmed height yet, but using this screen shot (see below) of him standing in front of a barn door, I was able to make a reasonable guess, bc I'm so smart.)

One V1 - ~13 feet (I am well aware of what the TFWiki says: 26.429 feet. And I fully reject that number. A: These numbers are sourced from the Walmart Promotional AR Experience that came out before the movie. B: There are three decimal points, and that number does not convert into a whole number in meters (which is originally what I thought was weird about it). C: The director has said that this movie is both canon to the LA movies and its own separate canon, and Bumblebee in both sets of LA movies does not exceed 20 feet tall. Ever. So, for sanity's sake, I have used the KCV numbers as my baseline. Bee grows when he gets his t-cog so shrink this one down a few feet. Look, I'm working on the Optimus chart rn, and one of the numbers from Beast Wars on the wiki was very observably wrong, and if I can dispute numbers older than me, I can dispute numbers 2 decades younger than me from fucking Walmart. Also, yes, his picture is 3 images sandwiched together)

Animated - 13 feet 3 Inches (There is no actual given heights, but in the comments of the previous version, @phoenix-inanis told me that they had done their own analysis of TFA heights and, gonna be real with you, I am blown away by all of their work and how detailed it is. Go marvel at how much work they put in -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4 )

One V2 - ~15 Feet (Please see reasoning above. Since this is as tall as we see Bee get, he's the same height as KCV Bee. Sweet fuck, I have put way too much effort into this shit)

Knight/Capel-Verse - 15 feet (No actual numbers, but Mirage is stated to be 15 feet tall (TFWiki), and he and Bee are like the same height, so... Capel directed the ROTB movie if you're wondering why his name is there)

Bayverse V1 - 16 feet (TFWiki. This is like the first 3 movies minimum, I don't remember when he hits his growth spurt. Also mr bay is king, we have numbers for nearly every character in BV)

Cyberverse - 18 feet (I'm gonna be honest, the only info we have is from a really shitty screen shot of a magazine. SO if any one has a copy of this book from the video below, a high quality scan would be greatly appreciated and I will kiss the ground you walk upon. Yes I found the video where the screen shot comes from leave me alone)

Bayverse V2 - 18 feet (TFWiki. Movie 4-5 I can't remember which one, I'm not re-looking this up. I fucking love the bayverse tho, this is the only universe with concrete and consistent this-character-is-this-height info)

Aligned Cont. WF/FOC - 20 feet (TFWiki/Fandom. Video game info screens you godsend, kiss me sweetly)

Aligned Cont. TFP/RID15 - 21 feet (These two designs are canonically identical, like in ALC canon, Bee has not changed visually at all...Ok, yes I got this number from fandom and they give literally no source for where they got these numbers. But, I can fully believe these are accurate. Just by looking at these characters on the show I can verify these numbers in my mind. Here, let's Compare.

This is Sam compared to Bee from one of the BV movies, I'm too lazy to check which one. Sam is average size for a human and we know Bee is 16 feet tall in the first three movies. Checks out. Let's now look at a TFP Character who is also 16 feet tall.

Jack is average size for a human, and the size difference is about the same. Can you see why I can't question the Aligned heights, even if they don't have a source??!?! They specifically made this universe to be full of freakishly tall robots for some fucking reason.)

Not Pictured: Aligned Cont. Rescue Bots and Rescue Bots Academy Bumblebee - 21 Feet tall. Look, did you want to see all 5 versions of ALC Bee? No, you don't. They're all the same height anyway; the back row would have just been a wall of redundant yellow. 5 different fucking art styles in one universe, why is that one my favourite.

Here's the front row and the back row separated into their own jpgs. I know it's kind of hard to tell which Bumblebee is which when they're all together.

[cozzzynook]

can you do mechpreg? with any pairing of your choosing 🙏

He just wanted to spend the day laying in berth and the worst part about it all was that he hadn’t even gotten out of berth yet.

Groaning, he shifted and curled into the pillow shutting his optics tight and clenching his jaw gnawing his denta together for a moment.

He felt his tanks roll with an audial twist and he suddenly felt hot all over rushing from the berth with painfully tingling uncoordinated steps with vision that faltered so badly he almost face planted into the wall.

He didn’t even make it to the wash racks.

He emptied his tanks in the waste bin for what felt like hours. He knows it wasn’t but the fact that his frame kept heating up and his knees felt weak as his stabilizers shook, he couldn’t help it.

His arms and stabilizers gave out and he dropped mid purge.

He almost choked when he felt two sets of arms wrap around him easing him back onto unstable pedes.

A cool callous servo rubbed his back struts while the other helped keep his helm from tipping over.

After a while he just stopped and started hacking full frame.

The worried em fields shrouding his own made his mood sour a bit more and he pushed his own em field in apology.

“What happened Roddy? You never purge.”

“Kid, Did you eat energon you didn’t like again? We keep tellin ya its okay to consume what you like and not just whats there.”

He managed to shake his helm in answer and he felt their concern grow when he gagged and purged again.

It took a few kliks but his tanks finally didn’t overreact at every little movement he made and he tried to stand on his own.

Drift and Ratchet didn’t let him go no matter how much he sluggishly tugged at his arms.

“In the berth kid, gotta check ya over.”

He didn’t have the strength to complain and that only seemed to make their worry infinite.

The thought of how much he complains to every bot he knows especially his mate made his emotions sour and the thought of his mates having to put up with his annoying behavior that was so expected of him, it left him sobbing silently by the time they laid him in the berth and he rolled over to his side.

His spoiler felt painfully sensitive and tender to the touch. So much so it made his valve clench and leak on nothing.

He curled up and covered his face plates with the pillow blocking Drift and Ratchet from seeing his pathetic state and felt more sobs release when they cuddled on both sides of him.

“I think I know whats wrong with ya kid. But I still wanna do just one scan if thats alright?”

After a moment of trying to situate himself, he nodded beneath the pillow feeling Drift kiss the back of his neck cables and brush against his spoiler making him flinch and moan. His servo fisted the sheets and he faintly heard Ratchet tell Drift everything was okay.

“How Ratty? He literally purged for almost an hour and his spoilers swollen and he’s crying?! Roddy never acts like this?”

“If I’m right, this scan’ll tell us exactly what I think it is and that’ll explain why he slept for a full day after only doing desk work the past few weeks.”

“Wait, didn’t Magnus or Megatron put him on desk duty?”

“Nope. Kid told them he’d do it because he was feeling exhausted.”

“Roddy…”

Ratchet rested a servo on Drifts cheek, “I’m fairly certain I know why he’s like this. If I’m right it’ll be good news,” Ratchet smiled.

It was one where it touched his optics and danced through his em field and Drift wouldn’t argue with that.

He couldn’t even if he wanted to.

So he let his helm fins relax the best he could and watched as ratchet scanned Rodimus’s spark and tanks before a diagnostic appeared clear as the small shift in Rodimus’s tank plating.

“Kid?”

“Hm?”

The two hadn’t even realized Rodimus was almost in deep recharge.

Ratchet just smiled a little softer and lifted the pillow, pressing his helmet to Rodimus’s and nuzzling him.

“Go back to sleep kid. You’re alright.”

A non coherent noise left their conjunx and his optics faded to black.

“Drift?”

“Roddy’s..Roddy’s sparked?”

“Mhm,” Ratchet helped Rodimus get more comfortable by taking the weight off his sensitive spoiler.

“Explains why he was so tired for the past few weeks and the sudden increase in appetite. Kid probably was telling the truth when he said he wanted the same energon as us.”

“No wonder he purged like that. Poor Roddy,” Drift shifted himself to keep from touching Roddy’s spoiler and laid a servo over the small bump on his tanks.

“He’s sparked,” Drift whispered, reality was starting to sink in and Ratchet felt Drifts em field begin to spread elation around their hab suite.

Drifts optics never left Rodimus’s tanks and his stabilizer leaned over to twine with Ratchets who smiled looking at the both of them.

“Hehe..you’re next Ratty.”

“Watch it. Or need I remind you how both of you like to sub for me?”

[blackpensils]

How good at sex is each decepticon in Megatron’s council? Ranked best to worst

I'm going to go off of the TFA Council becuase that's the one that I'm personally most familiar with ^^ and yes, I'm including Megatron! Now this is a personal list and you may disagree with it, but it's ranked from 1 being the best and whatever number we end up on being the last being the worst at sex.

Shockwave

I genuinly think that Shockwave is the one of the Megatron's council that has the most experience and knowledge about anatomy and the Cybertronian body to know how to make anyone feel good no matter what your kinks are. The only thing that he suffers with is the oral part of interfacing since... well, he has a maw (hc) but he doesn't actually have a proper intake so it does make it slighlty difficult.

2. Megatron

Megatron has experience and he is observent enough to know what makes a mech squirm. After just a few encounters, I think he'll be able to change his approach to fit his partners needs while still not completely abandoning his own and making the whole thing a completely blissful dream for them both. He'd be higher if it wasn't for the fact that he doesn't have the same level of adaptability that Shockwave has (being a spy and all that, I think Shockwave can adapt personalities, including sexual ones, at will).

3. Strika

The general herself that should've been in the show more and deserved more screentime with her hubby Lugnut. I think she's be pretty good partner. If you like the strong dommy mommy types, of course. Yes, Lugnut is the bottom. Yes, he is also the one taking spike. No, I will not elaborate. The only thing that Strika suffers from is the same as Shockwave, a lack of a proper intake to give oral, but this queen knows how to use her servos and you will be riding those longer than her spike, I can promise you that.

4. Blitzwing (Icy face)

Yes, I specified the face and I will explain. I think each face has a different approach to interfacing and the strategic genious one that is his icy face probably is the better interface partner. He also has a triple changer spike that changes with each face, each one with their own different mods. The icy face spike is very simple and standard, though. It only vibrates.

5. Starscream

There was a time when he would've been higher on the ranking, but I headcanon that after losing Skyfire and then his trine, his interest in other sexual partners kinda dwindled. Not in the way that his sexual desire stopped or diminished, but that he stopped caring as much about his partners pleasure compared to his own. I'm sure there was a time when he'd be higher up the list with Strika and Megatron, but since his ego inflated, he's fallen from grace. Sadly.

6. Blackarachnia

The issue with BA is that she has a tendency to poison her berth partners. She's a pretty decent dom and is good at both using her spike and her valve for interfacing. She will leave a lasting memory, that's for sure and her bondage game is off the charts! The issue is that her frame excudes poison from every part of her, salivial fluid, lubricants, transfluid, or just poisonous fangs and extra legs.

7. Lugnut

He is a horrible interface partner unless you're Strika because he's a loyal king that loves his beautiful queen of a wife. Now if you were Strika, this man would kiss the ground you walk on (even if it would be difficult with his jaws, which also makes oral pretty difficult. These poor Decepticons, man). I think he'd be attentive to your needs and let you live out whatever fantasy you want in the moment, but I also think he would get too into it to the point where he might get a bit distracted from the actual interfacing. And Primus forbid you mention Lord Megatron or the Decepticon cause, because then you'll be hearing a monologue in the middle of interfacing and that's kind of a mood breaker. For most, at least.

8. Blitzwing (Hothead face)

He's impatient and often gets too heated. He looses himself in his anger or frustration, whichever is ruling him in the moment. But he's still a better interface partner than the random face.

9. Blitzwing (Random face)

He has no concept of foreplay. If you're not already lubricated and prepared, you're going to be in a lot of pain. I personally would not recommend.

10. Soundwave

TFA Soundwave is practically still a baby! He's not even a year old, keep that mech away from anything sexual until he's at least reached double digits.

---

I don't think I forgot anyone, but knowing me, I probably did lol. Anyway, this is what I personally headcanon, but it's also up for change considering that each individual mech can change their approach depending on their partner and their situation.

[theoceanoasis]

Megarod prewar. Hot Rod and Megatron bump into each other in Nyon while Megatron is there on assignment so Hot Rod offers to show him around. They end up dating while Megatron is there and even end up interfacing with each other before Megatron has to head back home when his assignment is finished. Hot Rod gave Megatron his .comm but Megatron's supervisor confiscated it and Megatron has no way to contact him now.

Vorns later as the leader of the Decepticons, he visits Nyon again to find Hot Rod and is shocked to see Hot Rod is caring for a youngling who looks a lot like him.

He spotted him from a mile away. Knowing everyone in Nyon he knew he didn't belong here. He could also tell that he wasn't a Functionalist.

Curious he followed the mech who was looking around and going in circles, clearly lost. Deciding to help out he revealed himself.

"Are you lost?"

"Yes. I'm looking for a good bar."

He nodded taking in the marks on his armor and the exhaustion weighing down his frame. He decided to show him one of his favorite bars that was nearby because he looked like he needed a drink.

As they walked to the bar he kept glancing at the man because he seemed familiar somehow. He just didn't know where he'd seen him.

When they got to the bar he decided to order him a drink which the mech was thankful for.

"My name's Hot Rod."

"Megatron."

The mech paused as though he was waiting for something and when it never came he relaxed.

The two of them began talking and he learned Megatron was a gladiator from Kaon.

He offered to show him around the city and Megatron agreed. He showed him all of the best spots and loved watching the way Megatron would take everything in. Seeing the beauty of his home instead of all the things wrong with it like others would.

He took him to his favorite spot which was look out mountain. The two of them sat together watching as the sun set, casting a firey glow across Nyon.

"Beautiful."

He looked over and blushed when he realized Megatron wasn't looking at the city. He was looking at him. He found himself leaning in and the two of them made out.

He smiled into the kiss feeling his spark skip a beat. Megatron pulled him into his lap and the two cuddled together looking out at the city below and occasionally making out.

He took him back to his apartment and the two mad love all night long. It was amazing and he'd never overloaded so hard in his life.

Afterwards the two cuddled together trading kisses and talking about different things. Megatron talked about his time in the mines and becoming a gladiator.

Laying with his head on his chest he traced his scars and occasionally kissed them. Megatron pulled him closer and he found himself falling asleep while he listened to his spark spin in his chest.

The two of them kept meeting up whenever they had the chance. Megatron would be in the city of Nyon for a while and the two of them spent every moment they could together.

Talking, hanging out in silence or making love. As long as they were together it didn't matter.

He always made sure to come to Megatron's matches wanting to support him. Even if he was always worried. Scared someone would finally beat him, which was his worst nightmare. He didn't know what he'd do if he lost Megatron. Afterwards he would trace every new scar and kiss each one. Reminding himself that Megatron was alive.

The gladiator began to fight harder wanting to make it back to him. He quickly moved up the ranks which got others attention.

When he found out he was being taken back to Kaon he was in shock. He immediately went to Hot Rod who was upset. Even if he knew they were on borrowed time, he at least thought they had more.

The two of them clung to each other and decided to reveal their sparks to each other.

Megatron stared at his spark in awe and he kissed him pulling him down so their sparks pressed together and they became one.

Both of them overloaded, but continued making love throughout the night desperately wanting to remember each other's bodies.

Then Megatron had to leave. The two held each other for a long time at the station promising to stay in contact. He felt tears fall and Megatron brushed them away while confessing his love to him.

He'd smiled through his tears and told him that he loved him and couldn't wait to see him again.

Then Megatron was forced to leave. He got on the train and waved goodbye for as long as he could. Hot Rod did the same until he could no longer see the train anymore.

When Megatron got to Kaon his belongings were searched. They ended up finding his comm and took it away despite his protests. Telling him that it would only distract him. He felt angry and defeated because he couldn't get in contact with Hot Rod and was worried he'd think he abandoned him.

In Nyon, Hot Rod paced around worried because Megatron didn't call like he promised. He was terrified something had happened to him and was planning on sneaking onto the train. When he saw Megatron on TV fighting with a roaring crowd behind him.

His spoiler fell and he cried. His spark breaking as he realized Megatron had abandoned him. He never loved him and was just using him and now he's all alone.

He was inconsolable for days afterwards. He didn't want to leave his apartment. Instead he laid in bed all day crying and feeling sick. At first he thought it was because he was upset. But when he started feeling other symptoms he became worried.

He rushed to the store grabbing multiple tests. The entire time his spark was pounding in his chest as he took them.

When he found out he was sparked he cried. He wanted to keep his sparkling but he was worried about raising them on his own.

He needed to see Megatron and tell him about the sparkling and maybe get closure.

He snuck onto a train going to Kaon making sure he wasn't caught. When he got there he looked around in amazement because it was just like Megatron described. Which helped him maneuver through the busy streets as he went to the colosseum.

When he got there he didn't have a ticket inside and didn't know how he was going to find Megatron. He waited outside trying to come up with a plan when he saw gladiators leaving the arena. They seemed to be in a cheerful mood as they celebrated their win.

He decided to follow after them and ended up at an old bar in the middle of Kaon. It was packed with gladiators and fans all celebrating their wins. Especially Megatron's.

He scanned the crowd and his spoiler perked up with excitement when he saw Megatron. He rushed over everything else forgotten.

Until he saw Megatron kiss someone else. He froze tears in his optics as he watched the two before running away.

He got out of there as fast as he could running through the streets of Koan until he couldn't run anymore. Falling to the ground he broke down crying, feeling his spark break all over again. Coming there was a mistake Megatron would never love him or their sparkling.

Rubbing his belly he knew he didn't have a choice but to raise his little one on his own. He took a train back to Nyon and did his best to forget about him.

Years later and he finally had the chance to go back to Nyon. The entire time he was nervous. Even after all these years he never forgot about Hot Rod.

He could only hope he hasn't forgotten about him. He knows he's changed a lot. The once gladiator was now the leader of the Decepticons. A movement that has quickly taken off leading to them taking over Kaon. With his ideas spreading to other cities where people demanded equality.

Walking through the streets of Nyon it was as though the city had been preserved. Frozen in time just waiting for him to come back.

He searched the crowd for a familiar firey paint job. Going to all of Hot Rods favorite spots he finally found him. He stared in awe at the beautiful mech before him. After all these years they were finally reunited at last.

He took a step forward about to call his name when he watched in surprise as a youngling ran over.

"Carrier!"

Hot Rod smiled and hugged his creation. Who looked just like him. He stared in shock and found himself marching over and confronting a surprised Hot Rod. Who quickly looked angry.

The two began to argue until Hot Rods creation got between them.

"Will you two stop arguing."

Hot Rods creation turned to his carrier.

"Is this my sire?"

Hot Rod looked him over and reluctantly nodded.

"Yes he is."

He looked between his creation and Hot Rod in astonishment. He had so many questions but with so many enemies he knew it wasn't wise to have this kind of conversation here.

If his enemies knew about his creation he had know doubt they'd try to hurt him. Hot Rod must have realized the same thing because he reluctantly had them go back to his apartment. Where the three of them talked.

[petitelepus]

Next part for bumblebee x Decepticon reader please 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

@phoenix-inanis here u go friend

It was that time again during the week when you and your secret Autobot lover would meet in the forest by the small lake. You had been so excited to see him that you had brought him something special.

"Here you go Lil B!" You said cheerfully as you gave him a cup filled with black inky liquid. The yellow Autobot accepted the drink and sniffed it.

"You brought me oil?"

"Not just any oil!" You beamed happily, "I secretly took some from Lord Megatron's personal stash! This is top quality oil that makes your Autobot's oil taste like mudwater!"

Bumblebee squinted his blue optics at you but took a sip either way and you could tell he was impressed by the way he looked.

"Oh wow, it is good!" He gasped but then he looked at you, "But won't you get in trouble for taking some of your boss' oil?"

"I can always blame Mixmaster or Scrapper for it." You waved your hand dismissively, "Anything for my Lil B!"

Bumblebee grunted and you smiled happily as you watched him enjoy the rich oil... But as you watched him, your gaze shifted to his lips.

"Hey, Lil B?"

"What?" The yellow Autobot grunted just as he took a sip of his oil and you smiled a little.

"I really want to kiss you right now." You confessed and Bumblebee almost choked on his oil. Luckily he didn't, but it did go to the wrong tube.

"Primus, you okay!?" You patted him on the back in panic and once his coughing fit ceased he turned to glare at you.

"What do you think!?" He shouted before a soft blush rose to his cheeks, "Saying such things in the worst moment ever...!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you!" You cried out and his glare on you hardened, "You didn't scare me! Nothing can scare me!"

"Ah," You nodded, realizing that he was getting slightly embarrassed.

"So?" You asked and he glared at you from the corner of his optic, "So what?"

"May I kiss you?"

"What makes you think I want to kiss you after you almost choked me!"

"That wasn't my intention!" You cried out before pouting, "So you won't kiss me..."

Bumblebee glared at you, but even that look died as he sighed. Were you seriously a fearsome Decepticon, because you certainly didn't act like one.

"Fine fine, just-!" Bee was saying but as soon as he turned to look at you, you bolted, grabbing his face between your hands and kissing him hard.

Bumblebee moaned against your lips and you grinned as you pulled back, happy to see your small lover's face flushed red.

"Thank you for the kiss, my love!" You cheered happily and he seemed to snap out of his trance and pouted, "You totally stole that kiss!"

"You were an easy target, that's all!" You laughed light-heartedly.

The two of you kept enjoying oil and talking about this and that, just idle little chit-chat when you came up with a question for your lover.

"Have you ever thought about the future?" You asked as you glanced at your partner, "What will happen to us?"

"Duh!" Bumblebee laughed, "We Autobot will defeat you evil Decepticons and I will become the Elite Guard I always wanted to be and-!"

He was caught off when he saw the absolute look of betrayal on your usual happy-go-lucky smile.

"Am I really that vile to you?" You asked, sounding genuinely upset, which both startled and confused the small Autobot.

"What-!?" Bumblebee stuttered, "What makes you think that?!"

"You said 'you evil Decepticons'. Me included." You frowned, "And you would become an Elite Guard, yes, but what about me?"

You didn't directly ask, but it was obvious that the image of the prison went through your mind. A little room where you would be locked away to rot alongside your Decepticon companions.

"I- I didn't mean that YOU are evil! You just don't know right from wrong!" Bumbelee huffed, "Once you realize that ee Autobots are the good guys you will leave Decepticons and join us!"

"Bee..." Oh if only things were that simple. He might think that life would be sweet if you joined Autobots, but you would still be a former Decepticon. What you have done over the eons couldn't and wouldn't be swiped under the rug that easily.

"Well, if that doesn't come true and we Decepticons rise above you Bots, then I will take you with me and protect you from any harm!" You tried to laugh off your earlier sour feelings and it seemed to work for Bee.

"Yeah right, like that's going to happen!" Bumblebee laughed and you got up to look at him as you grasped his hands in yours.

"I could take care of you. You wouldn’t need anyone but me." You confessed. You watched Bumblebee stare at you until a soft blush rose yet again to his face and he covered it quickly with his hands, "You're so embarrassing!"

"But you love me for it!" You leaned in and kissed Bee's cheek with a loud smack, "You're my little Autobot lover and I shall cherish you until I'll be offlined!"

"Don't say that!" Bumblebee pointed at himself confidently, "If the worst comes true then I will protect you!"

How precious this little Autobot of yours was...! Honestly, whatever life would throw at the two of you, you would always be there shielding your Lil B from harm, no matter what.

[birthdaycakeplate]

The very overdone ‘sparring turns into excessive kissing’ trope, plus Megop✨

Some sort of ceasefire AU with combined factions. As always...

I refuse to proof read this anytime soon, I don’t want to see what humiliation I’ve conjured for myself.

Warnings are in the tags💕

————————-

“If you’re going to live amongst arrogant bots thousands of tonnes bigger than you are, you’ll have to learn how to defend yourself.” Megatron said seriously, but the irony, of course, left a tickle in his throat.

Obviously Optimus could hold his own against mechs 3 times his size and then some, or Megatron wouldn’t have been forced into this ceasefire in the first place by the little Prime’s bare fists and a shoddy axe.

Which speaking of, he really needed to repay the smaller mech for shattering it during their artillery training. It really had been an accident. Though he suspected Optimus was going to hit during this sparring match with a lot less forgiveness than he’d assured him with at the time.

“Oh, so you admit that your soldiers are rude, thuggish brutes half the time there’s an Autobot in the control room?” Optimus asked, readying his stance on the square of padded floor. He would never stop being amazed that the Decepticons had entertained such a luxury -that is, until he’d learnt that Starscream had been the one to complain about being thrown to her delicate wings on the cold, hard floor one too many times.

That Megatron had been the only one the self-obsessed seeker leveled to spar with meant that Megatron had agreed solely on the promise that he’d be able to continue doing so.

Megatron sized up the brazen thing before  him and smiled. In regards to his question, Decepticons were like that more than just half the time.

“Yes, I confess. Though I also admit I’m often guilty of the same arrogance myself.” Because if he weren’t, he wouldn’t have thought so little of one lowly Prime once upon a time, and would have otherwise dominated an entire foreign planet in deca-cycles. Perhaps that was the arrogance talking again.

But Optimus had indeed bested him, and thank goodness it’d happened sooner than later before Megatron had let himself go completely.

He’d found his footing since then and was moving with a ferocity he hadn’t in ages. He hadn’t even known he was slipping until he was shaping his wayward Decepticons, thousands of years out of practice, up in one single, terrifying rant about the disobedience he’d noticed in his absence. He hadn’t even needed to threaten them. It felt so good to be back.

And he believed he had this brave mech here to thank for that. Which unfortunately meant that Optimus really did have a merciless force of nature to worry about now in a way he hadn’t before.

Well... only a little bit ‘merciless’.

Optimus returned his smile then, though it was far more genuine. Megatron tried not to let it sway him off his pedes and focused on the lesson.

“Now,” He began, distributing his weight through spread pedes and opening his palms, making for a more intimidating foe. It would have worked on anybody else.

“Ready yourself, little Prime.”

“I’m ready.” Optimus murmured, big optics trained on the other, and innocent little smile starting to look a tinge wicked.

Megatron liked the fire in this one, possibly too much, as he often tried to rile it out of him.

To test his claim, Megatron offered no further warning and lunged.

Optimus was easily taken to the floor with a surprised little ‘oof’.

“Decepticons don’t play fair.” Megatron purred. His gentle reminder overshadowed by the crush of his chest into Optimus’. He could hear him struggle to vent and had to repress a snicker.

A knee thrusting up just above his pelvic plating, forcing the air from his vents, turned that snicker into a wheeze.

“I can see that.” Optimus hissed, already adapting to the change of pace.

Dumbstruck, Optimus was able to roll Megatron off of him and pin him to the mat by his shoulders.

Megatron considered reaching up and digging his claws into his forearms and tearing, just to reiterate what he’d said about playing fair -and he would have, if it wasn’t Optimus.

A simple buck of the hips was enough to throw the other off his balance and push him away.

Feeling generous, Megatron even allowed him to scramble to his pedes.

“You’ll have to be on your guard at all times.” Megatron said, infrared pupils dissolving into slits. Assessing.

That time the lesson stuck, and Optimus was quick to dodge another lunge.

But predictably was unlikely a thing in the wild. Decepticons were conniving and unfair. They’d had to be to resist Autobot forces, who were supplied by better resources and more fuel.

What a difference nearly a year had made between their factions and their coming together. How long before natural instincts such as those became obsolete and written from their code?

Megatron made to lunge again and deftly fell to the floor on palms and knee to sweep a pede out and right from underneath a parrying Optimus. He fell hard and had to bite back a curse when the other was moving to cage him there, giant black servos encasing his again. Crushing him into the mat.

Knocked to his back twice in half as much time...

Megatron didn’t let up this time and tensed his abdominal plates for any impending kicks. What would Optimus do when he ran into the less honorable sorts? He’d have to find a way out of this without Megatron’s goodwill.

Optimus pulled and writhed and made to kick something that’d have some affect, but all he could do was scramble against slick, gunmetal grey armor and the servos clutching him.

“Are you going to keep me down here?” He growled.

“Or are you going to teach me how to fight?”

Megatron snorted. Warm breath ghosting over a finial and making it twitch.

“Are you trying to talk your way out of this?”

When plenty of the ‘Con population could hardly be bothered to articulate beyond grunts?

Optimus had stopped trying to wriggle his way out then, so clearly he thought a bit of psychology was the logical way to go here. Most mechs weren’t Megatron, unfortunately, and couldn’t withstand a legitimate conversation, though.

“It worked on you.” Optimus pointed out. Which wasn’t saying too much these days.

Megatron remembered how’d he’d gotten here with nothing but Optimus trying to talk his way around everything like a hopeful, insistent fool -around violence and conflicting agendas of mass destruction. And the fact that that had eventually done him in somehow was.... well....

Regardless, it had worked. Partly. Though another part of Optimus’ success at establishing this ceasefire was due to his impressive display of tactical resourcefulness during their Earthly encounters- and, admittedly, a bit of his brute strength. He was worthy, Megatron had come to find, and only then had he learnt to listen.

Decepticons weren’t going to spare him much time to prove himself. They couldn’t afford to in the wars prior.

But... Megatron was just fine to let him try.

Talking to Optimus was it’s own reward, and it was easy to forget he was supposed to be teaching him an important lesson when he’d managed to get him like this.

“Go on and try to get yourself out of this, then, if you’re so sure.” Megatron’s grip tightened painfully on his wrists to remind him this was supposed to be an example of some nameless thug getting the upper hand on him.

Optimus swallowed, and Megatron watched with terrifying interest the way his throat tubing moved.

Miraculously, he pushed the tremor from his voice when he next spoke.

“You’re supposed to be teaching me to fight, aren’t you? You can’t do that from here.”

On the contrary...

But Megatron wanted to see where this was going.

“Yes, I am, but these imaginary foes who have only the wish to harm you will have no other reason to release you. Your enemy, Decepticon or not, is going to need a reason to let you out of this. If you’re so intent to talk your way out still.”

Megatron secured Optimus’ wrists into one massive servo and bared down.

Optimus went deathly still, carefully distant stare betraying any fear that might be thumping around his spark chamber, threatening to burst through.

Megatron couldn’t help but grin at his cornered prey. Optimus’ poker face was was truly a commendable thing, but there was little that could sway Megatron from his goals once he was determined.

“So...” He whispered, dipping his helm into the small space of Optimus’ throat cabling and his servo raised above and pinned. Mouth angled towards his audial.

“You’ll have to give me an incentive to let you up~”

He was impressed by how limp the other had gone, rather than tensing and squirming in every direction to break free. When he slowly pulled away to get a look at that pretty blue face, Megatron had expected to see the same disinterested gaze the other always wore when he was trying -and failing- to intimidate him.

But there was Optimus, practically thrumming below him as the gears turned and his processor span. Thinking much too hard about.... something....

Optimus stared up at him for so long with those wide blue optics that Megatron worried he’d broken him. Either by being too suggestive or too outright forward. He could never tell how civil frames perceived the things war types casually said -and Strika was always threatening him to act with some amount of manners towards the little mech, so he must be coming off too strong in most cases.

He decided he’d gone and crossed a line this time, too, when-

“Let me up... and I’ll thank you.” Optimus whispered, barely able to withhold an embarrassing stutter.

Megatron was compelled to challenge him how that would incentivize a foe to do anything, if only to further the lesson and keep them on track. But he’d had the mech off his pedes for long enough to make his point.

....And he really wanted whatever this ‘thank you’ was.

It’d be his own fault if the ‘thank you’ was a swift punch to the nasal ridge, and he hoped honestly it was just that. Optimus would certainly prove he had the necessary skills to handle his opponents that way.

Megatron was on his stabilizers in two short moves and helping Optimus up with the assistance of those manners Strika had insisted he locate from deep within his hard drive.

Oddly enough, manners had never been a chore when extended to any other bot. Optimus made him forget how to act half the time.

But on his feet again, Optimus looked considerably less annoyed to be thrown about as freely as he had been than he should.

Megatron wondered if that was because he had been the bot doing all the throwing. Optimus had shown himself rather tolerant of his touch on prior occasions since peacetime. And he’d been no stranger to it before peacetime either, unfortunately.

When he didn’t back away to put some more appropriate distance between them, it became clear he was anything but ‘annoyed’ with the treatment.

“Better?” Megatron couldn’t help but tease, something warm licking below his tanks. Optimus, breathless and flushed, was a sight. Better than with his battle mask sheathing his face, and an axe poised and ready to split Megatron’s helm with.

Which he really did owe him a new one. One made from durabyllium-steel so that he might shave the arm off any attacker who might come his way and avoid all this talking nonsense in the first place.

“Yeah.” Optimus said then. His voice pinched, clearly struggling to voice his real concerns.

“Allow me to thank you.” He added, after a tense moment.

Megatron’s glossa worked faster than his brain module could.

“That’s not necessary.”

Maybe those manners weren’t so far out of reach, actually...

Optimus’ finials did that infuriating thing when he was nervous where the dipped down upon his helm, making Megatron physically have to restrain himself from reaching to touch them, and shifted his stance on restless pedes. Trying to quiet the urge.

“Well, it was part of the deal.” Optimus murmured, voice gone soft, optics growing heavy. Megatron unconsciously leaned into him.

“I am a mech of my word, after all.”

Which was how Megatron had known he could come to trust him as he had. But still-

‘I am a mech of standards.’ Megatron had wanted to say -to insist it wasn’t necessary. Instead, a less coherent gasp of some indecipherable thing escaped the tip of his glossa, as a firm blue palm planted itself high up on his chest plates.

There was a brief pause, and then someone’s engine rumbled at the contact. Warmth began to flood their cheek plates, a vibrant color bleeding through. Suddenly keeping optic contact was too great a feat for either of them.

“Here.” Optimus maneuvered them closer, and Megatron was moved without the barest hint of resistance. Vaguely aware he was being moved from helm to toe-pede by two little palms cupping his cheeks.

So be it.

He leaned over the shorter bot just enough to reach him better. Face level and drawn in a line to Optimus’ full lip plates like he was being pulled forward by a string.

Which was good, as that was exactly where the smaller mech had blessedly wanted him.

Their lips nudged and parted until they were properly slotted together.

Megatron swallowed the sound the other made into his open mouth. Little servos fell away from striped cheek plates to run themselves down and over layers of thick chassis, beginning a curious search to map the other out.

Megatron was happy to let him. The distraction gave him an opportunity to deepen the kiss with a tilt of his helm.

Optimus jumped, seeming to just realize he was stood there, locking lips with a once fearsome warlord and finding it unbearably dizzying. In an absolutely delicious way.

Megatron lavished the inside of his mouth with tame little licks, purely to incite some warmth and comfort in the other.

Encouraging intimacy, encouraging Optimus to trust Megatron with the more private, delicate parts of himself. Encouraging those hands to linger longer.

Optimus hummed something like the start of his name into his mouth and something blistering hot shot through Megatron’s spinal strut and down to his pedes.

Proving he could manage some ounce of control of himself, the bigger mech somehow refrained from wrapping a servo around Optimus’ middle and lifting him up into a kiss more fierce and inescapable.

He curled thick digits easily around the other’s arms instead. Pulling him close, forcing their chests to bump, knocking a noise loose from Optimus’ throat.

The little truck settled an open palm over a hip seam and stroked, and Megatron did well enough not to smotherhim back into the floor right there and-

“Ze mat is for sparring.”

Optimus pulled away with a squeal not unlike that of a trapped glitch-mouse in a Cyber cat’s claws. Megatron grinned like an incorrigible cur, elated to have left the other in such a bothered state.

He looked down at the plush of those dermamesh cheeks, turning the same color as his daydreams. Soft, gentle hues of pink and red. Megatron could kiss at them until the end of time, let the world and empire he’d built for himself crumble around them.

But there he’d gone and been appallingly romantic again.

“I’m sorry, Commander Strika.” Optimus said looking somewhere between brave for the sake of due respect and melting through Megatron’s servos and into the floor.

Megatron looked considerably less apologetic. He looked downright proud of himself, even.

“Well, we were sparring, if you ask me.” He chuckled, delighting in his mate’s affronted gasp.

Strika was quick to defend Optimus’ honor, intent on Megatron keeping this intelligent, responsible mech in his life for as long as she was able to see to such. If that meant acting her age while her Lord was acting half it, very well.

She was only a party mech on her off shifts, anyway.

“You outdated, carnal-wired circuit board. Take zis somevhere you aren’t parading your prize for every optic to see.”

Optimus blushed deeper at being called a ‘prize’. And by his temporary commander, no less.

“You don’t want just anybot ogling your precious little Prime vhen he’s like zis, do you?”

That did it.

Megatron bristled. Optimus could feel his plates tighten and lock, finding the decency to compose himself finally. His hands on Optimus’ low back -when had they gotten there?- flattened, as if to shield as much of him as he could from the world outside their little sparring mat.

“You are the only one taking audience.” He snarled at the tank.

Optimus always admired how Strika never buckled like most mechs did under his ferocious gaze. Like how he did when it was Ultra Magnus talking to him.

“I’m making sure jou don’t do anyving inadvisable and unbefitting out here in public.” Vacant room, or not. 

“Don’t be stupid.” Her leader chided, and Strika looked closer to punching him now, than ensuring he had a future with this darling, little idiot firetruck.

But Megatron stood firm.

“It wasn’t going in.... that... direction, obviously.” He carefully explained. Honestly unsure how the civil frame would feel about such a thing. He certainly didn’t want to imply he would have done so without his agreeing to such.

But Optimus blinked in surprise at this.

“It wasn’t?” He asked before his better sense could tell him to bite his glossa and think first.

The two war mechs startled and looked him over, then shared a look amongst themselves. In the next blink, Megatron was back to looking his wolffish and clever self again. Eyeing Optimus up and down shamelessly, despite their livid chaperone.

“I was trying to be a gentle mech-“

“Not hardly, my ‘Lord’.”

“And keep my intentions to myself, until they’d been discussed properly. Gracious, little Prime. Were you hoping for something more?”

“Megatron!” Strika had forgone formalities. They’d agreed using his title while she was beating him into stasis did feel condescending, honestly.

Optimus was torn how to answer, because yes. He definitely had been thinking it was.. headed... that.... ‘direction’.....

Oh, Spark.

Optimus stared down at his pedes like they’d done him a great disservice not choosing to run at full speed in the opposite direction. Full lips pulled into a scowl that looked rather venomous.

Megatron basked in the sight of those glowing red cheeks on his favorite mech in the infinite universe, standing there flustered and fuming at having been so free with his affections.

Well, Megatron would gladly be the first to assure him they hadn’t been misplaced, nor were they unappreciated.

“The room is yours.” He told Strika, not sparing a glance away from the pretty Prime who’d occupied much of his processing power -including the parts once dedicated to the important matters of being a faction wide leader.

He’d given up getting through a field report without staring at sleek, silver pedes walking about in the corner of his optic. Imagining them strutting over his way and offering him to come take a break from ‘working so hard’ with their company. Crossed at the knee, sat atop the edge of his desk.

“I don’t vant it.” Strika sighed, exhausted, though waiting until Megatron had carried off his ‘prize’ and found someplace secure before abandoning the misused room.

Comforted only by the memory of what she’d had Lugnut do to her on the very mat they’d gotten themselves familiar on.

Megatron, as she’d imagined, couldn’t resist a spark deep calling within himself to sling an indignant Optimus over his shoulder and march off towards his quarters like a gladiator peacocking his beaten opponent in the pits.

Optimus put up a well enough attempt at looking scandalized by it. All up until Megatron dropped him down into his awaiting arms and carried him off with a tentative palm rubbing under both his knees and back. He forgot he was supposed to be offended after that.

—————

Just wanted to write Megop kissing, y’all, I’m dying.

[disformer]

So I draw a lot of goofy shattered glass stuff but I actually really like both the slapstick haw-haw and weeeeeird lovecraftian angles! This is a slice of a SG fic I’m working on that… is taking a lot longer to get through on my schedule rn so I thought I’d post what I’ve got here since we’re talking abt it ❤️

Cw: body horror, psych horror, disturbing imagery and general grissly descriptions.

“Optimus?”

It’s Megatron's voice like he hasn’t heard in years. Soft, gentle, if Optimus pressed it against his throat it would kiss rather than pierce. He thinks of blue optics and tentative hands and wondering smiles and he hates.

Optimus runs hands over the smooth tarp in his lap and doesn’t look up.

“My friend, I’m so… This isn’t what I wanted to happen. Not like this. You don’t deserve-” Megatron’s vocalizer fritzes, choked with pain, “Not like this.”

It’s a lie, in every way. Megatron loves his deceptions. He oozes them with his every breath, his every intake a blasphemy. If Optimus could get his hands on him he’d pin him to the ground, snake his fingers through the wiring in Megatron’s throat and pluck, pluck, pluck, until at last he screamed, fear and pain and wailing as he looked upon his greatest failure. Optimus thinks it would be good for him. It’s always a relief to be honest.

“We weren’t able to get them to drop the processor combing but- Soundwave told them it wouldn’t be safe with the Matrix so your consent protocols are going to be active. It’s not- It’s not the best, I know but-”

But it’s better than what you deserve, Optimus finishes for him, cooing the thought.

There’s no need to speak here; Megatron is an unwelcome guest in his processor. His old partner spits static denial but they’re in LAN connection, and Optimus feeds on the guilt. Gluts on it. Visualises it like a river, pouring over his intake and down his throat and into his belly. Pouring, pouring, black and thick, until it submerges him, chokes him, seeps out of the seams of his optics and his belly until he’s spluttered and offlined, sated. Full to bursting.

Somewhere ahead of him, Megatron begins to weep. Optimus doesn’t look up from his tarp but he can hear it. Megatron is weak if he thinks this is as bad as it’s going to get. If he thinks Optimus is the worst thing lurking in this shithole of a frame.

He shouldn’t have come.

“It’s not going to be anyone you don’t know. I promise.” Megatron moans, voice thick with tears. “Just me and Soundwave. We’re not going to- we’re going to do everything we can to not hurt you.”

Optimus lifts his gaze at that. The mnemo-simulation has put them in his old warehouse, generated by whatever background program they’ve got running to make him as comfortable as possible.

It’s not doing a very good job.

The walls have a shaky look to them that gets worse in his peripherals, the windows seem to open and close by themselves whenever Optimus looks away. The world falls apart on close inspection and he tries not to look at what the chipping of reality reveals.

Every now and then there’s a sound like someone dragging a talon down concrete. Optimus feels it down his back, a tickle. It’s playful. Inviting. He shudders.

“Optimus?” Megatron is talking again. He’s going to want to stop doing that. “Is there anything I can do for you to make you more comfortable? Speak to me, please.”

He meets Megatron's eyes. They’re just as blue and sweet as he thought they would be, a version of them he’d known before war. Optimus wonders what they’d feel like if he pressed his thumbs against them until they shattered.

“Kill me.” He says, and Megatron disintegrates with one last horrified glance as the simulation explodes around them.

---

Before anyone there’d been Ariel and Dion. They weren’t gestalt or spark-brothers, but one day they’d rolled off their manufacturing line together in a pile of shivering, ill-fitting parts and from then on they were family.

Everyone born in that building was screwed from day one; it was a hole-in-the-wall deathtrap of a MTO plant pumping out mechs for the Parade of Metals staff shortage, only to be shut down by enforcers a few vorns after the three of them had been born.

They were all made from the same brittle, recycled scrap and salvage. In the storm season the three of them shook like loose screws under their tarp, frames tucked around each other for warmth their rotting insulation could’t provide.

Ariel had it the worst. Her spark chamber didn’t fit right, a few inches too big for her. It left her constantly rattled and clingy, muttering and pressed into her brother's chests. Some days would be worse than others and she would curl in on herself, sobbing, shoving on her chassis with weak, fumbling hands. Orion would curl around her back and hold her steady for hours while she shook her head from side to side no, no, it hurts.

Dion couldn’t get used to his plating. Something wrong with it, he’d say with a shrug, casual. Just itches a bit. He wouldn’t understand Orion and Ariel leaping to drag his fingers away from his face, away from the bits he’d been peeling off. Just gotta get it off, he’d say, don’t fret, it’ll only take a minute.

They couldn’t stop him forever. One awful night Orion remembers they’d sat down with a stolen vibro-knife over a bunsen burner and the two of them had taken it in turns to slice pieces away while Dion sighed in relief, thanking them every time a section was cut free. It was almost worth it for how well he’d recharged from then on.

Orion didn’t have it half as bad as either of them, which meant he was the one who worked. A thousand dead-end jobs, back-to-back, every cycle. Illegally long shifts at every two-bit docking station from one side of Iacon to the other. Measly paychecks, but that was the story everywhere. If you were on the bottom, at least you were stuck there with company.

The word ‘criminal’ can mean a lot of things, depending on your perspective. Mouths to feed, tanks to fill; civility is a luxury, and it’s an expensive one.

So was it any wonder, Soundwave, what I did next? I suppose you still have your objections. Yes. I see you there, you perverse little voyeur.

Of course you wouldn’t understand. You’ve never been filth before. True, expendable, invisible filth. Alpha Trion was a madman but you’ve never spent a hundred years starving, knowing you would starve for a hundred more, if you even made it that long. You think you know rock bottom but you don’t because if you did, you’d know how it pushes. Peels. It rips you up, ruins you. You don’t feel ruined to me, Soundwave. I can change that if you’d-

---

Glk-glk-glk. Glk-glk-glk.

Optimus wakes.

They’ve opted out of force-feeding energon down his intake by means of bypassing a tube into his anterior tanks. It doesn’t have to go through the pressure regulator in his gastro-chamber; no need to bother with his gag, so Optimus has the uniquely delightful experience of hearing the energon levels in the supply tank deplete in time with the rhythm of his fuel pump.

Glk-glk-glk. Glk-glk-glk.

He shutters his optics, but there’s no budging the haze. His visual processor components feel like soupy plastic in his head and his tongue is an inflexible presence in his intake.

Soundwave-

Naw, man, naw. It ain't safe, Megs, that wastoids got some gnarly shit in that skull of his and I’m not-

“Ah! Hello there, chap,” A voice chirps to his left, crisp and bright and plainly nervous, “terribly sorry to wake you, I was just checking your fuel levels there and- Oh my! Goodness but you do burn through it, aye?”

Shockwave. He’d recognize that grating little accent anywhere.

His optics don’t clear, but they do find purchase on the shiny yellow smear somewhere overhead.

Shockwave is wringing his claws together guiltily, “I would like to say while I have you here I find this all shockingly appalling; personally, between you and myself, I’m not exactly chuffed about all this unethical shadowplay business. Anyway, my own moral compass aside- well. It’s nasty stuff.”

He lifts a claw to one side of his head and taps insinuatingly.

“Can’t stay and chat, not really allowed to even be here if I’m quite honest!” Another nervous laugh, “but I couldn’t just say nothing, could I?”

Optimus stares. He wouldn’t know what to say even if he could form words around the mess of parts he calls a mouth. It’s galling, and he’s infuriated at the small comfort it actually provides.

We don’t have another choice, Soundwave. Handing him over to the council for interrogation-

Man, slag this. I’ve got cassettes dude, they’ve gotta recharge with me. I can’t be putting my little guys to berth at night with this shit in my processor.

How- It’s that bad?

Brother when I say I’m running three system rinses after I even touch a port connected that grody slagger, I’m not pullin’ your leg. Had to motor from that last session because the freak spotted me. That’s not supposed to happen!

He closes his eyes and tunes Shockwave out, there’s too much going on. Optimus hurts all over. They’ve got nine inhibitor clips stapled down the main conduit line of his back and it turns his teeth to glue. There’s cotton balls in his joints.

Megatron and Soundwave are somewhere in the room ahead, Optimus can see their little energy fields flicker even with the wall separating them, an aurora of green and blue. The two spent a thousand years arguing during the war, but nothing has ever riled them up like this. Optimus knows this is new, unwelcome ground for the two of them. He can tell they’re lost, hurting. The satisfaction is as it has been for as long as he can remember; both personal and alien.

Without permission his fingers begin to move. Even, smooth motions at odds with the shaky ventilations and fatigue he feels everywhere else. The digits draw lazy shapes on the slab and he knows if he pays attention they’ll be shaping out strange, misshapen letters.

He doesn’t look. He doesn’t want to see how much control it has while he’s like this.

Look, Megs… This isn’t a kindness, what we’re doing. I don’t see how handing him over to the council could be much-

It’s abuse, Soundwave, in all but name. It’s a violation so fiercely out of the question that I’d rather put a bullet in him. Could you do that? Even to him? Could you live with yourself if you put him in one of those chairs and let them play with his head?

I… Frag. No, fuck that. You’re right, I just…

I understand, my friend. We’ll switch to a denser block between the two of you, total malware flushes between every session-

Glk-glk-glk. Glk-glk-glk.

Optimus doesn’t hear the rest, the soft black crawls over his optics again and he sinks.

Glk-glk-glk. Glk-glk-glk.

---

[tea-mew96]

Transformers Animated!

Ooo, good pick!

The first character I fell in love with: Megatron, he's such a clever main antagonist and is one of my fave Megatrons.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Bumblebee, for the simple reason that kid-appealing, comic relief characters like him are very hit or miss. Luckily he has genuinely funny lines, got some really good backstory, and I adore his development in regards to his friendship with Bulkhead and Sari.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: My examples are more of a case where someone obsesses or loves a character and I just find their reaction out of control or weird rather than hating the character themself. For example: I like Blitzwing, but I think some people are way too weird about their liking of him. Also that Toxitron craze that happened on this site was also something I just didn't understand.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Sentinel Prime, but more so in the sense of him as a story/plot element.

One thing I like about Animated is the sense of nuance you get. While the Decepticons are certainly not a morally good group, the Autobots aren't without their own faults. Sentinel Prime serves to drive the point home that not everything is right among the Autobot ranks. This is important both for that nuance and for Optimus Prime's character arc, and it's for that reason I like Sentinel Prime. He may be a jerk, but for me he's an entertaining one.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: So far, I haven't experienced this yet with a character in Animated.

The character I would totally smooch: Optimus Prime and Bulkhead deserve a kiss on the cheek.

The character I’d want to be like: Optimus Prime, of course!

The character I’d slap: I may like Sentinel Prime as a story element, but he still needs to be slapped.

A pairing that I love: Two for me, Optimus Prime x Prowl (that's all @littlemisstfp's fault) and Ratchet x Arcee.

A pairing that I despise: I'll likely get some heat for this one-Blitzbee and Megop.

Blitzbee I don't get at best and find it very uncomfortable at worst. The discourse surrounding this pairing (among other pairings with Bumblebee) sure doesn't help.

TFA Megop is one of the two Megop pairings I'm sour towards and it's mainly because of bad fanfics and takes ruining it for me. It could just be me being unlucky in my finds, but for every one 1 good take I see for this pairing there's another 5 that I am not ok with. This has made me lose any interest in exploring this ship, and anyone who says they're a TFA Megop fan is someone I am immediately suspect of due to my bad experiences. There's very few people I would trust with handling this pairing. It's also for these reasons that despite liking Megop* you don't see much TFA Megop on this blog, if at all.

*terms and conditions apply

Ask prompt here!

[aprimesrpcorner]

Well it would take time, but that was expected of their...current situation. But the prime being gentle like this with an Decepticon, well it was something else that was for sure. But the giant mech was pleased it seemed to be hugging the other like the famous plushie mentioned. Oh some would find this hysterical for sure, but the prime seemed to be enjoying holding the other, and the warmth, and he nuzzled into the blue mech. Remaining calm was good, obviously the prime wouldn't try to be this clingy if he wasn't drunk, but he was harmless in this state to the other at least. At least he was more of a happy drunk then a mean and crude one to an extent. But he purred at the suggestion and nodded. "Yesss!~ I'd love to watch a movie with you!~" The prime said with a happy rev of his engines. Well, it wouldn't be a surprise if the Autobots at least noticed...

Well, maybe they both should think on that...this was a big change after all now wasn't it? But it was essentially like that. It was a wonder if peace was actually apart of Megatron's plan here at all...but they'd have to see. Regardless, the human children probably did think he was a lot cooler now, especially since he wasn't trying to actively hurt them even in this type of stressful situation. Miko mentioned she wanted to talk to him at one point. But now, wouldn't be so ideal. And letting Breakdown go would be beneficial...maybeee after a minute longer now. Decepticons really didn't have this type of affections did they? Some probably did yes, but Megatron didn't seem to be the type to let the others be 'soft'. That would be how he'd put it wouldn't it? But in a way maybe it would, they'd probably end up cuddling if worst comes to worst, and was that really that bad? And maybe Optimus would even ask for a little kiss, just one of course. But he knew to back down if Breakdown didn't want it, then even his drunked state self, wouldn't force it on him. He knew better. But there was hope for acceptance for this..."Hmm, well I always wanted to watch one of those more R rated films! Never was able to because of the kids and all, But I'd be interested in why they're rated...R! But a dateee, that would be so fun!~" The Cybertronian said with a giggle of his own, eventually finally letting go of the other as he did.

Breakdown: 🍷💖

The larger mech purred softly as he raised his arms up to the bulky blue mech, his servos as well, being in a sort of ‘Gimme!’ Type motion.

“Eee Breaky my love! Come here and gimme a kissss!~” The larger mech said with a smile, still making the motions with his servos for the other to come over to him, that is if he wanted!~

“What you wanna do my dear? We can cuddle, we can play video games and *hic!* play with the others and the like? Common we should do something fun together!~”

Optimus was indeed really drunk, to much Hi-grade it was presumed, that someone spiked his Energon.

It had been a bit since the situation with these two had happened, and things seemed to be going soothingly enough.

But to think Breakdown would get to see the prime in such a vulnerable yet funny position was something else.

[starvonnie]

Do You Remember?

Day 1 of Megarod week! Prompt: Faction Rating: Explicit Fandoms: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types Relationship: Megatron/Rodimus | Rodimus Prime Characters: Megatron (Transformers),Hot Rod (Transformers),Rodimus | Rodimus Prime,Impactor (Transformers) Additional Tags: Sticky Sexual Interfacing, Drinking, Shower Sex, Size Difference, Stomach Bulge, One Night Stands, kind of Also on AO3

“You’ve got an admirer,” Impactor said with a smile, gesturing with his helm over Megatron’s shoulder.

He turned, curiously, to meet bright blue optics for just a moment before the fiery little mech whipped his helm around.  He tried to look fascinated with a stain on the wall.  He wasn’t a very good actor.  Good thing he was cute.

Impactor chuckled.  “Go buy him a drink.  He’s totally your type.”

“I don’t have a type.”  

“Then all the more reason to go buy him a drink.”

“You’re not gonna drop this are you?”

“Nope.”

Megatron sighed.

“C’mon, mech, when was the last time you got some action?”

Megatron rolled his optics.  “I don’t care about that.”

“So you’re telling me if that hot piece of aft came over here and said ‘take me home and frag me’ you’d say ‘no?’”

Megatron sighed again.  “He’s not going to do that, though.”

“Well, no, probably not.  You’ve gotta pretend to be interested in their personality for a while and subtly ask them to frag you.  Either way, if you don’t go buy him a drink I will.”

Megatron looked back his way again, and again the mech quickly turned his helm the other way.  If only so Impactor wouldn’t get to him…  “Alright. Wish me luck.”

His spark was in his throat as he made his way across the bar.  His usually steady hands shook.  He felt like at any second, he might keel over from nervousness alone. He was worried that his voicebox wouldn’t work when he tried it, but when Matrix-blue optics found him once more, holding his gaze this time, he felt his fears melting away.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Megatron asked.

The flame-coloured mech smirked.  “Only if you let me buy you one, too.”

Megatron found himself smiling.  “I suppose I could allow that.”

He patted the stool next to him, and when Megatron sat, he offered him his hand to shake.  “Hot Rod.”

“Megatron.”  He shook his hand—and his dwarfed Hot Rod’s.  He was so tiny.

“It suits you.”

Megatron glanced down at the flame decal on Hot Rod’s chest.  “As does yours.”

Hot Rod waved the bartender over, and they each put their orders in on the others’ tab.  The bartender looked a little confused at that, but smiled at them and got to making their drinks.

“You like sweet things then?” Megatron asked, gesturing to the fizzy, hot pink drink presented to Hot Rod in a flourish.

“Listen, I’m not here to taste the engex.”  He made a face.  “This,” he lifted the drink, “is just an excuse to make bad decisions.”

“Am I the first one of those bad decisions?” Megatron asked with a mischievous glint in his optic.  He took a sip while Hot Rod laughed.  He had a laugh that made Megatron want to make a fool of himself if it meant he could hear it again.

Hot Rod shrugged.  “I’m not sure yet.  I suppose whether or not it’s good or bad is up to you.  Seems like a pretty good idea so far.”  He smiled, cocksure, but beneath that there was an endearing shyness. “So… you come here often?”

Megatron chuckled.  “Maybe not ‘often,’ but whenever Impactor and I have some time off together this is usually where we go.”

“I’m guessing Impactor is the one currently making out with a minibot?”  He gestured amusedly back to their booth, and sure enough, Impactor had a lapful of a little purple bot.  They seemed oblivious to the rest of the world.

Megatron sighed.  “Yeah, that would be him.  I think he told me to come over here just to get rid of me.  He said there was a little speedster over here staring at me.”

Hot Rod scoffed.  “Hey, I’m not small you’re huge!”

“But you were staring at me.”

Hot Rod’s face turned nearly the same colour as his drink.  “Sorry, you just… have a really pretty smile.”

It was Megatron’s turn to blush.  

“Sorry, I… don’t really do this much,” Hot Rod admitted.  “Well… more like ever.  It’s not really my scene.”

“Nor do I.  Like I said, Impactor was the one to get me to come over.”

Hot Rod’s spoiler dipped a little.

“Not that I wouldn’t have, I just don’t really flirt much, but you are cute so I, I probably would have come over.  If I were. Like that.”

Hot Rod giggled.  “Don’t blow a gasket.  I get it.” He smirked.  “You think I’m cute, though, hm?”  He scooted a little closer on his barstool, leaning in, “Because I think you’re—”  Hot Rod flailed as he slipped off his stool, spilling his drink and falling forward onto Megatron.  His whole face and the tips of his spoiler turned a bright red.  “Sorry!’

“Careful.”  Megatron helped right him.  “I think that’s the fastest anyone’s ever fallen for me.”

“I think I’m going to go crawl into a hole and die now.”

Megatron laughed.  “That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?”

“I’m a bit dramatic.”  He managed a shy smile, but it fell when he glanced around him, seeing other bots looking at him.  

“Everyone’s too drunk to care,” Megatron said quietly, trying to reassure him. “Half of them probably can’t remember the last five seconds.”

Hot Rod laughed, still ducking his helm in embarrassment.  “Maybe we… get a booth?  Something not so open?”

“If privacy is what you want… we could take this back to my place.”

“Oh! I, uh, I…”

“Or not.  No pressure.”

“No, I, I want to.  Yeah, let’s… let’s do it!”

Hot Rod paid his tab and apologized for the spill, and in his excitement Megatron nearly forgot to pay his own tab.  Once they were both settled up, they made their way outside.  The cool air quickly chilled their frames and Hot Rod started to shiver.

“Cold?”

Hot Rod nodded, denta chattering.

“May I?”  Megatron held his arm out, hovering, until Hot Rod snuggled up to him and he wrapped his arm around his shoulders.  “It’s not a long walk.”

Hot Rod put his arm around Megatron’s waist.  “Good.  I think I’m gonna need a real workout to warm up.”

Despite the chill in the air, Megatron’s cooling fans came roaring on.  Hot Rod giggled and gave him a half-amused, half-sultry look.

A few blocks of mild embarrassment and comfortable silence later, and they were at his building and riding up the elevator.

“It’s nothing fancy,” Megatron said.

Hot Rod shrugged.  “You got a berth?”

Megatron nodded.

“Then I think it’ll do just fine.”

In every movie Megatron had ever seen, when they brought someone home, it was a fast, steamy frag.  But once inside, he just held Hot Rod’s hand while the little speedster gave him a soft look.  

“We don’t have to interface if you don’t want to,” Megatron said.  “I just wanted to be alone with you.”

Hot Rod blushed.  “I mean… I want to, if you’re down.”

“I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Geez, don’t sound so excited,” Hot Rod teased.  He beckoned Megatron down.  Megatron obliged him, turning his helm slightly since he assumed he wanted to whisper something to him, but he had assumed wrong.  Happily, mind you, since he’d pressed soft lips to his.  

Once they’d touched, he understood.  He wanted to pull Hot Rod close.  He wanted their heated plating flush.  He wanted to hear Hot Rod moan his name and beg him for more.  And his new friend got right to it.  His hand slid right down over Megatron’s modesty panel, revving his engine.

Megatron deepened their kiss, focusing on how Hot Rod’s glossa slid against his own. But all the focus in the world couldn’t have kept his spike from springing out into the waiting hands of Hot Rod.

Hot Rod smiled as he pulled away slightly.  “Look at you.  Hard for me already?”  His hand was almost comically small, stroking his shaft.  

“Who wouldn’t be?”  Megatron kissed him again.  He caressed down Hot Rod’s frame, pausing just above his heated panels.  He stifled a chuckle when Hot Rod made a quiet, impatient noise.  He teased the edge just a little longer, before sliding two fingers between legs spreading for him.  He’d barely felt the steaming metal before his finger was sliding through wet folds.

Hot Rod gasped and then ground against his hand.  He mouthed at Megatron in an almost-kiss, but it was clear his processor had dropped to his array.  

Megatron just barely pressed in, hearing Hot Rod hold his ventilations, then right back out.  He circled his anterior node a few times and whispered right in his audial.  “The berth awaits us.”

“Tease,” Hot Rod said.  But he smiled and took hold of Megatron’s hand—the one that wasn’t wet with his lubricants—and pulled him along.  He backed himself up against the berth, letting himself fall back onto it as Megatron came up over him.

Hot Rod stopped him, and when Megatron looked at his face there was a little fear in his optics.  “Um… I’m gonna need you to, uh… work me up to… that.”  He nodded towards his twitching spike.

“Of course,” Megatron said, his voice deep and rumbling.

“Not that I can’t take that size, because I can.”

Megatron chuckled.  “Even if you could take me right away, it’s much more fun to tease you until you beg me for it.”

“Do your worst, Megatron.”  Hot Rod smirked up at him; a challenge.  “Well, maybe not your worst.  Your restrained worst.  Just to start.  After that you can get as rough with me as you want.”

In an act that was anything but rough, Megatron kissed up his jawline.  “I’m not so sure I want to be rough with you.”

Hot Rod shrugged.  “I’m down for literally anything.  I’ve agreed to a lot of stuff tonight that I’ve never done before, and so far, it’s been amazing.”

Megatron smiled.  “It has.”

He kissed him before he finally pushed a finger into that warm, welcoming valve. He captured Hot Rod’s first moan in their kiss, and then the second as he pushed deeper.  The third he let escape, as his fingertip brushed his ceiling nodes.  It was surprisingly quiet.  Given the flames blazing across his chest, he assumed everything he did was quick, brash, and loud.  Just like fire.

In one way, he was fire.  Every sound, movement, and every glazed-over glance he gave Megatron had crackling heat racing through his veins.  He wouldn’t have been surprised to find soot coating his plating.  And he wouldn’t have cared one bit.

Hot Rod moaned and clawed at Megatron’s back.  He crooked his finger and pulled more of those sweet sounds from his small frame.  He was dripping everywhere and it took a great deal of restraint to not slip his spike in that wet heat and rut into him.

“I can take more,” Hot Rod whispered.  

“You’re sure?”

He nodded emphatically.  “I’m not as breakable as I look.”

Megatron couldn’t help the rev of his engine as he pushed a second finger in. It was a snug fit, but Hot Rod shuddered with pleasure and rocked his hips forward.  Each press in made a wet sound as his fingertips met with ceiling nodes and a gasp from Hot Rod.

All the while, he kissed and nipped at his neck.  Each bite would have Hot Rod holding his ventilations, until fanged denta released him, relatively unscathed.  Tomorrow it would be easy to guess what Hot Rod had been up to the night before.  Same with Megatron, if you looked at his back.  His bright hands left golden trails where his fingers dug in.  

Megatron scissored his fingers, testing his valve.  It opened easily.  Hot Rod groaned and his optics rolled back into his helm.  His biolights pulsed with his arousal, and their position made it seem like they were pointing down to where Megatron’s hand was splitting him open.

“You’re sure you don’t do this often?”  Megatron kept his voice sultry as he asked this.  He quirked up a brow and kept kissing at his neck, jaw, and collarbone.

“Well, I… it’s not like I haven’t with y’know… big bots but—ah…”  He took a few deep, shuddering ventilations.  “On my own, I like to—nhh!... push myself.”  He smiled and bit his lip.

“Is that so?”  Megatron didn’t wait for an answer before capturing his lips in a kiss and biting his lower lips himself.  He got bitten back as he pulled away.  

Hot Rod smiled up at him mischievously.  He easily stole that expression with the crook of his fingers.  He gave him a little pout and then said, “I’m ready. Get on your back.”

“Oh?”

Hot Rod guided him to where he wanted him, straddling him with lubricant-soaked thighs.  The red biolights ringing his valve were a pretty invitation for his spike.  He was a little jealous, but only a little.  If he couldn’t have his own, he’d enjoy Hot Rod’s as that light swallowed him.

“Think you can handle me?” Hot Rod taunted when he caught Megatron staring.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

He smirked.  “Oh, I know I can take this.  But I dunno about you.”  He ran his wet folds along the underside of Megatron’s spike.  It twitched involuntarily.  

“Then let’s find out, shall we?”

Hot Rod let just the tip slip in.  “Oh… we shall.”  He sank down on Megatron’s spike with a soft moan.  He took a few deep ventilations with a hand on his abdomen.  He stroked the bulge Megatron’s spike made.  “Primus, you’re huge.”

“Am I hurting you?”

Hot Rod shook his helm, smiling wide.  “Quite the opposite.”

He lifted up a bit then sunk back down a few times, watching his armour flex. His field flared with lust as he picked up the pace, smiling clumsily at Megatron all the while.

Megatron gripped his calves and gave little thrusts up to meet him.  He let his helm come to rest and shut his optics, sighing with pleasure.  He had to focus a bit on not overloading too soon because, well… it had been a while. It didn’t help that every erotic noise Hot Rod made just added to his arousal.

Hot Rod bit his lip and picked up the pace a bit, leaning forward.  Every time he took Megatron’s spike to the hilt, he would grind his anterior node against Megatron’s plating.  It arced and had Hot Rod chasing that feeling.  Faster, harder.  His warm, snug valve swallowed his spike again and again until Hot Rod could do nothing but pant and hold on.  Megatron kept pace with him, feeling his overload building all too-quickly, when Hot Rod suddenly cried out and threw his helm back.  His optics flashed white and his cooling fans roared as he slumped forward.

Ventilating deeply, Hot Rod said, “Frag… I needed that.”  With shaking arms, he lifted himself just enough to see Megatron’s face. “Sorry.  It’s, uh… been a while.”

Megatron chuckled.  “It’s fine. I was getting close, myself.”

“Don’t worry.”  Hot Rod smiled sloppily.  “I’ll getcha there, too.  Just need a minute to rest.”

“Take your time.  I have nowhere to be.”  He stroked up Hot Rod’s waist, delighting in the shiver of his frame.  He even got a few gasps as he kept his lust alive, but it turned into a flinch when his fingertips brushed his spoiler.

“Not there right now,” Hot Rod said.  “Normally I like having my spoiler touched.  It feels real good.  But right after an overload its really sensitive.”

Megatron let his hands slide back down to his waist and then he hugged him.  “Remind me of that in a few minutes.”

“Heh. Will do.”  Hot Rod nuzzled against his chest.  

Megatron twitched his spike, getting a deserved glare from Hot Rod.

He smiled.  “Sorry, honest mistake.”

“Uh huh.”  Hot Rod rolled his optics.  “You’re just mad that you’re still horny.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Yeah, yeah.”  Hot Rod blew a raspberry.  “If you wanna go again so badly you gotta take over.”

Megatron shrugged.  “Alright. Hold on, then.”

With a smile and a bite to his lower lip, Hot Rod wrapped his arms around him. As soon as he was secure, Megatron flipped them.  He took a moment to admire the pretty package beneath him.  Staring up at him with eager, lustful optics.  That sight alone would be enough to make him overload.

“You’re beautiful,” Megatron said a little too honestly.

Somehow, Hot Rod’s face managed to turn a deeper shade of red.  He hid behind his hands, but Megatron could still see his beaming smile.

“Shut up.”

Megatron chuckled.  “But you are. And right now, you’re being adorable.”

Hot Rod peeked out from his hiding place, and that only served to make him look cuter.  In a meek voice, he said, “You’re beautiful, too.”

Megatron rolled his optics and shook his helm with a small smile.  “You don’t need to lie to me, Hot Rod.  I don’t expect a compliment back.

“But you are,” Hot Rod insisted.  “Your smile, your optics… not to mention you’re just… rugged.  Like, in a really hot way.”  His spoiler flapped against the berth, trying to dispel heat. “I’m not good with words.”

Megatron kissed him to spare him further embarrassment.  But also because he just wanted to kiss him.  There was something about this little speedster.  He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew that he wanted to be close to him.

The smell of ozone and wafting steam surrounded them.  He tasted the remnants of Hot Rod’s overly sweet drink on his lips, and what would have been too much to drink himself, made him kiss him deeper. Really savouring it.  He savoured the feel of Hot Rod’s hands, too.  All over him.  They dragged electricity along his plating and coaxed him into a gentle rhythm that had Hot Rod sighing happily.

His ventilations a little laboured, Megatron said, “It’s been a while for me, too.”

Hot Rod laughed.  “You gonna blow your load already?”

Megatron chuckled.  “Not right away, but soon, yes.”

“Take it slow, then.”  Hot Rod pulled him down for a kiss.  “You feel really good… I wanna savour it.”

“Says the mech who came after two minutes.”

“It was like four.”

Megatron laughed and kissed him one more time.  “I’m fine with taking my time.  The night’s still young.”

Hot Rod relaxed into his berth with a sigh.  He looked up at Megatron with big, round, sparkling optics, his arms splayed out on either side.  Open, and vulnerable.  There was this air of trust in his field that made him glad he’d been the one to pick him up from that seedy bar.  Most of them would have taken him in and then tossed him out, but Megatron, well… he really hoped this wouldn’t be the last time he got to see him.

It had been a long time since he’d interfaced at all, but even longer since he’d done something so… slow.  Gentle. Watching Hot Rod’s face, soft and languid with pleasure, he wanted to call it love.  

It wasn’t, obviously.  Love at first sight, or even first frag, didn’t exist.  Lust?  Infatuation? Of course.  But this felt like more.  He saw what could easily become love.  Like a new, exciting path had opened up in his life.  And he knew it was foolish to even dream of anything beyond this night, but hope so rarely found his spark.

So, he enjoyed the moment.  He slowly fragged him, drawing out all these soft sounds.  He wanted to kiss him, but then he wouldn’t hear them.  Or see his optics flutter closed.  Or see him shift just a little bit closer.  

And there was his spoiler.

This time, when his hands met the sensitive metal, Hot Rod moaned and squirmed. He gripped the sheets and arched off of the berth, moaning Megatron’s name.

“Good?” Megatron checked in, just in case.

“So good.”  Hot Rod met his gaze briefly before another caress of his spoiler had his optics closing with a long, low moan.

Megatron quickened his pace just a little.  He leaned down to use his mouth, instead, and when his glossa swirled around the pointed tip of his spoiler, Hot Rod rolled his hips to match Megatron’s rhythm. He left more scratches on Megatron’s back as another overload suddenly hit him, arching further and gasping.

His calipers cycled down on Megatron’s girth.  He moaned and thrust erratically.  Hot Rod’s calipers rippled around his spike, pulling him deeper and deeper until he bottomed out, transfluid gushing out around his spike.  He thrust a few more times until Hot Rod had milked him of all that he had.

Being careful not to crush Hot Rod, Megatron rolled off of him.  

Hot Rod was left gaping and dripping.  Out of breath, he said, “I think you’re gonna make me walk funny tomorrow.”  He gave Megatron a wobbly smile.  “Not complaining.”

Megatron chuckled.  He rubbed Hot Rod’s belly, still marvelling how he’d managed to take his spike without that much difficulty.

“I didn’t hurt you, right?”

Hot Rod shook his helm.  “That was one of the best frags of my life.”

Megatron couldn’t help but smirk.  “I try.”

“Can we try again?”

Megatron chuckled again.  “How about we get cleaned up, instead?  It’s a small shower, so you can use it first.”

“What? After fragging me into the berth you’re too shy to share a shower with me?”  Hot Rod shook his helm.  “Nah. We’re showering together. Because I wouldn’t mind getting a little dirtier before we get clean.”

“In that case…”  Megatron got out of berth and swept a surprised Hot Rod up into his arms. He let out an endearing little squeak, and he hoped he didn’t mind when he nuzzled against him.  He assumed not, since he nuzzled him back.

Why did this all feel so right?  

The shower really was cramped.  Even when Megatron was alone he found himself hitting his elbows against the wall.  But with Hot Rod there, wanting to be close to him, it felt like the perfect amount of space.  

Unfortunately, with the difference in their height, it made kissing next to impossible, but they found a way.  Though after a few, Megatron had to be the responsible one and actually clean the fluids from their frames.  It didn’t help that Hot Rod curved his frame in just the right way to get his hands where he wanted them.  And that he stuck his aft out so it rubbed up against his array.  All that paired with the sultry looks over his shoulder, and it took all of Megatron’s willpower not to succumb to him.

The willpower that was cracking away.

“Insatiable, aren’t you?” Megatron purred in his audial.

“Just another quick frag,” Hot Rod temped him. His aft swayed in a figure eight. “You know you want to.”

When his valve cover snapped open and newer, warmer lubricants dripped down his panels, all his resolve vanished.  Megatron easily picked Hot Rod up and impaled him on his length.  He thrust into him, pressed Hot Rod into the tiled wall.  His moans echoed around them and spurred him on.  

He felt the bulge his spike made beneath his fingers, tight around Hot Rod’s waist.  Nearly too much spike for his little frame.  And yet, Hot Rod kept begging for more, more.  Harder. Faster.

Oral lubricants dripped from Hot Rod’s open mouth. He tried to speak, but it was incoherent.  Megatron couldn’t find the words either.  He just pounded away at that welcoming valve.

The water made everything that much more slippery. The only secure hold he could find was wrapping his arms around Hot Rod’s waist, giving him everything he had.  It was the complete opposite of their first time, but just as pleasurable.  It wasn’t long before Megatron was spilling more fluids into Hot Rod’s tank, and hearing him moan his name.

A satiated Hot Rod was much easier to clean.  He seemed too tired to do much of anything, so Megatron gently lathered and rinsed him, giving him a few pecks here and there.

Hot Rod’s smile was wobbly as he leaned much of his weight onto Megatron.  He attempted to return the favour, but after a few clumsy tries Megatron kissed him and whispered, “Just relax.  I’ll finish up soon and then we’ll settle down into berth.  That is, if you wanted to stay the night?”

Hot Rod nodded.  “If that’s alright with you.”

“As long as you’re alright with some cuddling.”

“I’m always down to cuddle.”

Megatron kissed him on his forehelm and got himself mostly clean.  It was enough to be able to cuddle without grossing Hot Rod out, anyways.  Though it seemed like he wouldn’t care either way.  But he wanted to impress him.  Or at least not be gross.  

What a strange night.

Finishing up, Megatron shut the water off and dried the both of them off.  Hot Rod once again made it a challenge by stopping him to kiss and just generally being quite handsy.  It was hard to get annoyed, though.  Hot Rod’s interruptions were hardly a nuisance.  He’d let him distract him all day if that distraction was a hand stroking up his chest or a kiss to his chin when he stooped down.

Eventually, he managed to dry them both off, and then he picked Hot Rod up once more, laying him down in berth.  He was barely in before Hot Rod was snuggled up to him. He cutely nuzzled against him, resting his helm on his chest.  

They stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the silence and closeness.  Megatron thought Hot Rod had fallen asleep when he spoke up.

“Do you believe in fate?” Hot Rod asked quietly.

Megatron sighed thoughtfully.  “Well… I’m not one to believe that everything happens for a reason.  I think, most of the time, what we think of as fate is just one of an infinite number of possibilities.  Coincidences are bound to happen.”

“Oh…”

“Oh?”

Hot Rod shrugged.  “I dunno if I believe-believe in fate, but something drew me to you.  Beyond just your smile.”

Megatron gently stroked his spoiler.

“I think…”  Hot Rod traced a crack in Megatron’s chest plating.  “Some sparks are just drawn too each other and we don’t know why.  I dunno.  I’ve heard some bots say that maybe it’s because our atoms or whatever were close to each other when the universe was created.”  When shy blue optics rose to meet steady red, he flushed pink.  “Uh… not that I’m like saying we’re soulmates or anything like that—I barely know you—but… and maybe it’s just me, but something about you feels… special.  Like I’m supposed to be here.”

“I don’t know about all that,” Megatron said, “but I can say that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your company.  And I want to see you again.  Perhaps for an actual date?”

“Oh, well, I… I’m not gonna be in Tarn for long,” he admitted meekly.

The room felt noticeably heavier when both of their fields turned somber.

“Sorry, I… I live in Nyon.  I just came here for a visit.”

That new path he’d imagined faded into shadows.  He saw Hot Rod walk off without him, and it hurt more than it should.

Pushing past these new, dumb emotions that he shouldn’t even be having, he said “In that case… if you’re ever in Tarn, you know where to find me.”

Hot Rod gave him a bittersweet smile.  “You can call me if you’re ever around Nyon, too.  I wouldn’t exactly call it a great vacation spot, but I could show you around.”

“It’s not like I get much vacation.”

“Oh. Right.  Is it?  As bad as they say it is down there?”

Megatron’s optics dimmed.  

“Sorry.  You don’t have to answer that, it was rude of me to ask.”

“Let’s just say that I greatly prefer being above ground, here, with you.”

Hot Rod smiled.  “Me, too.”

 These two sparks would meet again, millions of years later.  One hidden behind red and one behind violet.  There was no rosy glow.  No easy conversation.  Not even a pleasantry passed between them.  There was only a fusion cannon, levelled at the red that protected Hot Rod’s spark.

Should he say something?  Did he even remember him?  Had everything he said been a lie?

Hot Rod wasn’t given much time to think before a photon round ripped through his frame and left him floating, near-death, in the void of space.  The Megatron he had met had long since died. That sweet smile was gone.

And Hot Rod was going to die. "You remember that night, don't you?"

Megatron sighed.  He figured this would happen, eventually, but it had been so long he’d assumed Rodimus wanted to forget all about it.  "That was a long time ago, Rodimus."

"But you remember it. Which means you've thought about it."

“We’re around each other enough.  It’s hard not to think about it.”

“Okay, then, what are your thoughts on it?”

“I think it happened millions of years ago.”

“And? A ton of shit happened millions of years ago that I still remember clearly.  That night is one of them.  I had a good time and I thought you did, too.  I would’ve gone for you if we lived in the same city, and now we’re here together, so…”  Rodimus fidgeted.

“… So?”

“So… I dunno.  It felt like fate that night and now that you’re here it really feels like fate.  I just want to know where your head’s at on all of this.  I’m kinda confused and feelings are stupid but they’re there.”

Megatron sighed.  “How I feel doesn’t matter.  I can’t give you what you want.”

“What do you think I want?”

“I can only assume you want what we both wanted back then, if you’re bringing it up.”

Rodimus didn’t say anything for a long time.  When he did speak again, it was a question.

"Where do you think we'd be? If I stayed in Tarn?"

"Was that even an option for you?"

Rodimus shrugged. "If there were streets, I could live on them."

Megatron gave him a sympathetic look.

"I can't say your apartment wasn't... tempting. But I figured you wouldn’t want someone you just met trying to crash at your place every night." Rodimus chuckled awkwardly.  “Plus, I… I didn’t want you looking down on me or taking pity on me.”

“You thought I’d look down upon you?  I was a miner.”

“Yeah, but at least you had a job.  At least you were useful.”

“Your existence is not defined by your usefulness.”

“I know.  I do.  But that’s what I thought at the time.”  

An uncomfortable silence befell them.  Eventually it proved to be too awkward for Rodimus.

"And, y’know, the fragging was pretty good, too." The smirk he gave Megatron was cocksure, but his reddening face betrayed him.

"You remember how good it was all these millions of years later?" Megatron teased.

"You don’t?"

Megatron looked wistful for a moment.  “No.  I remember. I don’t think I could ever forget.”

"I felt something special that night," Rodimus confessed. "If I'm honest, I've spent a lot of nights wondering how things might have been if I’d stayed.  If I would have been a Decepticon, if the war would have even happened…”  After a glance Megatron’s way, finding him staring, he chuckled nervously.  “Uh, but, y’know, it’s nothing.  We didn’t know each other.”

“I wanted to know you,” Megatron said.

“Well… you can now, if you want.”  Rodimus took a half step towards him.

Megatron stifled every urge.  To kiss him or hug him or do any number of things that required closeness.  He couldn’t just take what he wanted, anymore. “Tell me what you want, Rodimus. If I’m on this ship I need you to be perfectly clear with me.”

Rodimus bit his lip.  Then, in a rush, he said, “I want you to kiss me.”

“You’re sure?”

“Just do it.”

Megatron still hesitated, but his blue optics were his weakness.  He couldn’t deny him.  Not with him looking at him so softly.  It was that same not-love look.  Of almost-love.  Of maybe-love.  It was a look so full of potential and all Megatron had to do to unlock that potential was to take that step and kiss him.

Everything would change.  That path opened up again, but it was harder to see far down it.  It was still there, but obscured.  A dangerous path.  He couldn’t plan ahead for what lay beyond.

Megatron took that step, but it felt more like a leap.

Rodimus hadn’t expected much from the kiss, but sparks flew.  His knees went weak when Megatron’s hand came up to cup his cheek.  He could have so easily lost himself in everything this kiss was and let his frame lead the way, but their second meeting came rushing back with all of their baggage.

He pulled away.

Rodimus looked down, but didn’t step out of Megatron’s reach.  “Sorry, I… just, after everything, it’s… it’s not as simple, now.”

“I know.”  Megatron reluctantly released him.  “I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s okay.  Really.” Rodimus smiled at him and took a hold of both of his hands.  “For us, or me, I guess, it’s easy.  It’s ‘yes.’  It’s ‘I want to try this.’  But for everyone else, it’s…”

“None of their business.”

“I know, but, it kind of is.  ‘Cause you’re… you.”

“Mm…”

“But… if you want to try being together, I think it’s worth the scrutiny.”

“Are you okay with this?”  Megatron rested a hand over Rodimus’ racing spark.  

Rodimus kept that hand there.  “Who hasn’t tried to kill their partner, right?”  He bit his lip.  “It’s… we were at war.”

“It was still wrong.”

“Yeah…”

Rodimus shook his helm, as if he was shaking those thoughts from his processor. “Okay.  Since you’re trying to get a new start here or whatever, let’s just… start fresh.  You and me. Like I’d stayed in Tarn and we got to see where this was going.  Okay?”

“Alright.”  

“I know it can’t be exactly like that, but… I just don’t want us carrying all this scrap around with us.  We’re just two mechs in a relationship.  ‘Mkay?”

“If that’s what you want, Rodimus.”

“I just wanna be with you.  Because it really does just… feel right.  I dunno why.”

Megatron lifted one of Rodimus’s hands to his mouth and left a gentle kiss.  “Some sparks are just drawn to each other,” he whispered, “and we don’t know why.”

Rodimus smiled.  “Poetic bastard.”

After sharing an amused and quiet moment, Megatron asked, “Are you still as insatiable as Hot Rod was?”

Rodimus grinned and pressed himself to Megatron.  “Wanna find out?”

[yellingaboutmasseffect]

Transformers?

Oh boy this feels like such a can of worms XD We're not even delving into my OCs

otp

Across many continuties, the Old Friends thing that Megatron and Optimus have is just *chef's kiss* but I do love that TFA was like they don't know each other and Megatron doesn't even know Optimus's name for 97% of the seriesXD

favourite canon pairing

IDW Drift and Ratchet are up there for me with both of them finding peace in each other after the war. TFP/IDW Knockout and Breakdown and I'm glad that they got a happy ending in IDW continuity.

worst pairing ever

Transformers Animated Shockwave and Blurr. Shockwave kills Blurr. But Saren kills Nihlus you might say well they had a pre-existing relationship in canon and a death robot had scrambled Saren's brains where as Shockwave just smashes Blurr into a paperweight upon their first interaction.

guilty pleasure pairing

Truly guilty, I did read one really good Optimus/Starscream fic where they were both in character and it was so good and tragic and that high will never be achieved again for that pairing.

a pairing you want to see more

You can't just drop canon Black Arachnia/Airazor and think I won't remember that Airazor has two hands and could hold her other canon romance from a previous iteration, Tigatron's hand too

Arcee smooching ladies is always fantastic too and I'm glad that trend has continued in the comics

that pairing everyone likes but you’re like “lol no”

TFA Bumblebee/Blitzwing. I think one artist started it and I don't hate that they did that but it took off in a way I don't get

favorite non-romantic pair

Still love Windblade and Waspinator as friends. Also IDW having Bumblebee and Windblade have to deal with Starscream's dramatic ass was fantastic.

[olivia200312]

High School Love~ TFP! Optimus x Human! Reader

Requested by the lovely @bng4032

Plot: Hi there!! Can you make a TFP highschool AU Optimus prime x female reader?? Also, this AU has a country named Cybertron.

"So the story is about a female student that transfer from her country (any country that you like to insert) to a new school called Lacon Academy, and she was baffled about her whereabouts (she did ask some students around for directions) Then she met up with the principal of the school named Alpha Trion, got her schedule and that's where she met Optimus. She thought that he was handsome and cool until she didn't notice that she blushed. After a slight briefing from the principal Optimus gave her a tour before went to her class (they talk on their way, etc). And the class began, like in any other school, hard subjects as always but the female reader lost in her thoughts, thinking about Optimus until she can't wait to meet him again. You can add anything else that you like I don't mind. Hope to see what this turns into😁😁😁"

This is a high school one-shot! Feel free to pretend that he wears clothes or not like other bots.

Note: the art goes to the owner!

Head area:

Brain: Processor / Brain Module

Head: Helm

Face: Face plate

Ears: Audio receptors / Receptor Orifice / Audials

Nose: Enstril / Olfactory Sensor

Eye brow: Optical Ridge

Eyes: Optics

Mouth: Intake

Lips: Dermas

Teeth: Denta/Dentas

Tongue: Glossa

Chest area:

Chest: Chassis / Thoraxal Cavity

Back: Hexa-Lateral Scapula

Spine: Bipedalism cord / Back Strut

Chest and back armour:

Chest plate

Back plate

Mid-section plating

Neck guard

Side plating

Arm area:

Arms: Arms / Restarlueus

Forearms: Bitarlueus

Hands: Servos

Fingers: Digits

Arm armour:

Gantlets

Shoulder pads

Arm guard

Lower area:

Pelvis: Pelvis

Butt: Aft / Skid-Plate

Thighs: Tibulen

Calves: Cadulen

Feet: Pedes - the high heel bits are called Struts or Heel Struts.

Lower armour:

Skirt plates

Aft plate / Skid plate

Thigh guard

Ankle guard

General/Internal components:

Muscles: Cables / Pistons - It depends on the area in question.

Veins: Fual lines

Stomach: Tanks

Lungs: Vents - used to stop the con/bot from over heating.

Heart: Spark

Tattoos: D-con/A-bot Insignias and the lark

T-Cog: The thing that allows all Cybertronians to transform, be that their arms or their whole body.

Bonus:

Penis: Spike

Vagina: Valve

Body: Frame

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N groaned as the clock beeped. She reached for it and then slammed it shut with her fist. Stupid clocks... She got up and yawned. She stretched her arms above her head and let's just say that it showed her stomach a bit. Meet Y/N L/N. She was a regular human and she was (age) years old. She lived with her parents and had no siblings. She got dressed in nice clothes. She was going to a new school that she was completely unfamiliar with. There's one thing why: bots. Like, actual robots, alive and talking!

Y/N walked down the stairs as she yawned once again.  She entered the kitchen and there were her parents. Her dad was sitting, reading newspapers, and drinking coffee. Her mother was cooking.

"Good morning, mom, dad."

Her dad looked up from the newspapers and smiled. "Good morning, dear. How did you sleep?"

"Meh, like usual."

Y/N's father chuckled and he continued to read the news. Y/N sat down and her mother walked over to her with a plate with breakfast.

"Good morning, sweetie." Y/N's mom kissed her daughter's forehead as she gave her breakfast. She then walked up to the stairs to get dressed.

Y/N just ate the food peacefully but then her father spoke. "Are you excited about the new school?"

"Well... I'm actually nervous."

Y/N's father chuckled. "It's normal. You'll do great! Ask students for help when you need it, ok?"

"Alright! It's time to go!" Y/N 's mother called.

Later~

Y/N waved goodbye at her parents as the car drove off. She stood in front of the school, very nervous while clutching her books close to her chest. It was of course normal to feel nervous to be at a new school but however... this wasn't just a school. The school was called Lacon Academy and it was the school where Transformers goes! Real-life Transformers, alive! They can talk and move like humans!

Y/N took a deep breath and entered the school. She had to go and find the principal's office. The only problem was that she didn't know the way at all. Oops... Y/N remembered her father's tip and asked shyly some students for help. Almsot everyone was staring at her surprised since she was a human. Some of them even gave mean looks! Luckily, a lot of students were nice and helped her. Y/N thanked them as they walked off.

Y/N knocked on the door.

"Come in," said a mech (male) voice.

Y/N took a deep breath but then... she got suddenly pushed that she yelped, slammed the door open, and fell on the floor! Her books even were on the floor.

The principal gasped while a student next to him looked shocked. The student next to the principal looked behind Y/N and saw his enemy, Megatron. He looked angry and gave him a warning look to back off. Megatron only smirked and walked away. The principal didn't saw Megatron.

Y/N groaned and whimpered in pain because of her arm! She felt gentle and soft servos helping her up. "Are you ok?"

"Huh?" Y/N looked up to meet gentle yet soft blue optics looking into her E/C eyes. She felt lost in them...

"Ma'am?"

"O-Oh! Sorry!" Y/N yelped as she stood up fully and dushed the dirt off her clothes. She was not wearing her uniform since in Lacon Academy, they don't use them.

The student chuckled at her shy behavior. "It's alright."

The principal was nice enough to help to pick the books up and gave them to Y/N. "Hello. Welcome to Lacon Academy. Your name is Y/N L/N, correct?" He smiled.

Y/N smiled politely back while the student was smiling kindly. "Yes, sir."

"My name is Alpha Trion. I'm the principal here. And this is my best student, Optimus Prime."

Optimus stuck his servo out to her, still with a polite smile. Y/N smiled back shyly and shook his servo. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too."

Then Alpha Trion gave Y/N a schedule. "Here's your schedule. You have almost the same as Optimus over here. He'll give you a tour. If there's anything wrong or a problem, then feel free to come to my office to talk. You can even ask Optimus for help. He's very smart here."

Optimus chuckled sheepishly. Y/N giggled at that, causing the Prime to blush. Alpha Trion chuckled as he saw his student blush. He smirked secretly since he ships them together. "You both may go. There are some minutes left before the first class begins."

Optimus and Y/N nodded as they both left the office. Y/N felt awkward and shyer than ever before. Optimus decided to start a conversation. "Let me help you carry your books, Miss Y/N." He smiled politely.

"O-Oh my... Thank you, Optimus. Just please call me just Y/N." She smiled cutely as she gave her books to Optimus, who took them. Their hands actually touched each other and they both blushed. But Optimus just cleared his neck cables and held Y/N's books.

"I'll introduce you to my friends first. I want you to feel welcome and build friendships here, Y/N," Optimus explained with his usual politely smile.

"I'd love to have friends," Y/N said with a smile.

Optimus then leads the way as he was looking for his friends. Y/N was right next to him, feeling nervous since she's stared at him. Optimus noticed it and he used his free arm to wrap it around her waist and pull her close to his side. Y/N blushed bright red. Optimus couldn't help but find her so soft in secret. Not only that, but she was so cute, adorable, beautiful, and kind! Yeah, he's definitely in love.

"Hey, Optimus!" said a mech that was energetic.

"Hello, Smokescreen," Optimus greeted with a smile. "This is Y/N. She's new here. I'd like to introduce her to others and give her a tour."

"A human? Cool! My name is Smokescreen! Nice to meet you! I like you already! Come on, others are over there!" Smokescreen said with a smile as he suddenly grabbed Y/N's hand and dragged her, causing her to yelp in surprise as Optimus chuckled, following behind.

Once they all arrived, Smokescreen let Y/N go as she stood very nervous in front of some bots. Optimus quickly came to the rescue. "Autobots, this is Y/N. She's new here."

"Finally, another femme," said a blue and pink female bot that was smiling but also holding some bot's servo.

Y/N couldn't help but laugh at that. "Surprise."

"Y/N, we are the Autobots. I'm the leader here. Meet my friends and team members. The femme who spoke to you is Arcee. She's our warrior."

Arcee nodded with a smile while Y/N did the same.

"Next to her is her sparkmate, Cliffjumper." He was a bit with horns and was red and black.

Y/N was surprised by what she heard. She guessed immediately that they were together as lovers. Aaaw... these bots can even fall in love. Y/N squealed inside.

"Our scout, Bumblebee, or just Bee."

Bumblebee beeped excitedly and waved at her. He was cute! No wonder why he's called like that. He indeed looked like a bee! With yellow and black color, he even had antennas!

Y/N waved back with a smile. "What happened to his voice."

"... It's a long story. Here in school have enemies called the Decepticons. Megatron is their leader. He destroyed Bumblebee's voice box, causing him only to let out sounds. He severely damaged his frame also. He's lucky that Ratchet fixed him up," Optimus explained while he had a look of sadness.

Y/N was shocked and went quiet. Just how cruel was Megatron? How could he do this? I mean, this is school! An academy! Where students go to study, find their future careers, and have friends! Bullying was absolutely one of the worst things ever in schools. Y/N was bullied before, but she ignored them, causing the bullying to stop. Yet, she's getting bullied again. Thus time by the Decepticons and worst... by Megatron.

"O-Oh... I'm sorry."

Bumblebee beeped and waved his servo off, signaling that it's fine.

"This is Ratchet. He's studying to become a medic," Optimus said, pointing to the red and white medic.

Ratchet only nodded with surprinlgy a small smile on his faceplate. Y/N smiled fully at him.

"Our wreckers, Bulkhead and Wheeljack."

"Hey, sunshine~," Wheeljack said with a flirty smile.

Y/N blushed and looked away. Great... a flirt in the group. Optimus felt jealousy inside. Bulkhead smiled and waved.

Optimus smiled. "Since the introduction is done, how about a tour?"

Y/N smiled and nodded. Others said their goodbyes as the Prime and the human girl walked off to have a tour. It was very interesting. Optimus explained each room and a bit of history about himself. He said that he was Alpha Trion's favorite student. He also told that his real name is Orion Pax and loves to hang out in the library to read books and study. No wonder that he's a nerd... but a cute one. He also surprisingly told the bond he was had with Megatron, who was called Megatronus previously and he joined a club where gladiators fought! No wonder that he became a big bully and always won fights! Y/N saw the differences: Megatron was strong while Optimus was smart.

Suddenly, the bell rang.

"I'll see you at lunch, Y/N," Optimus said with a smile as he gave the books back to Y/N.

"Ok, see ya, and thank you for introducing and for the tour, Optimus," Y/N said with a smile back.

Optimus then kissed Y/N's cheek, causing the human girl to blush a lot. Y/N eeped but then she did the same, kissing his cheekplate! She then entered the classroom while blushing madly. Optimus had a surprised look while blushing light blue. He showed a lovely smile and walked to be at his class. Let's just say that during the lesson, the Autobot leader and Y/N couldn't stop thinking about each other.~

I hope you enjoyed it! For those who didn't saw an important announcement, the requests of Optimus will be CLOSED FOR NOW. I got too many of them that I went mad and crazy. They will be back open when all requests are published. I will not respond to new requests. Some readers need to read the title or important announcements.

[dildo-swaggins-t-baggins]

Rodimus writes a list of all the reasons why he hates Thunderclash, then leaves it in his desk drawer. One of the others sneaks into his room, finds the list, and reads it over the ship's intercom system. Rodi is furious - not only has his privacy has been violated, but everyone is focusing on the fact that he "said" such nasty things about Clash instead of WHY he "said" them (since he mentioned all of his insecurities and the fact that Clash is so much better than he will ever be in the list).

Howdy, so first time doing this, and kinda excited but still nervous, let me know what you think! I also wanted a bit more angst being that I have no self control.

Lost Light, a ship full of mechs who had fought through 4 million years of war, highly qualified for anything the known and unknown universe would throw at them. But then again being on a ship for so long could only result in some sort of ‘horseplay’. For the most part the day was as normal as ever, simple routine, checking the mission log, and progress. And then it happened, it felt like he was going 100 mph and slammed into a concrete roadblock.    The ship’s internal speaker screamed to life, halting the crew, every mech stopped and listened. Rodimus’ peds slammed into the floor so hard that sparks shot up, Drift did the same and they turned to the tiny wall speaker.    “To the crew, a tiny memo from our beloved captain,” The speaker whined as the mech cleared his intake. “‘A list of what I hate about Thunderclash:”

   He couldn’t tell what happened first, if his optics popped out of his helm, or if he changed into his alt-mode and flew down the hall. Drift was right on his bumper the whole way.    “1:Thunderclash has this horrible paint job, what did he do? Blindfold himself and chuck a bunch of darts at a color wheel?Not only that but red? Red optics? Wow that’s sooo friendly, 10 out of 10, goes with the slag color scheme.” They passed Swerve and Ten who almost dropped their new shipment. “2: Why is he even a ‘hero’? So what, you were shot in the spark and lived, who hasn’t been shot in the spark? I don’t understand why everyone looks up to him? He’s just like everyone else and has a bad paint job.” They drifted around the corner, scaring Brainstorm, who attached his harness to the ceiling and lifted himself out of their way. “3:And then there’s this stubborn ‘fan club’, always following him around, stalking him, kinda feel bad for the guy, like hello? Give the poor mech some space to at least walk?” They slid into the lift Drift typed in the code, tapping his ped. “I’m thinking whoever is behind this, they’re going on the next mining shore leave with Megatron.” He hissed. “Why’d you write that?” Rodimus’ engine roared, praying to Primus that the lift would just move a little bit faster! “I couldn’t recharge that one night when I was paired up with Thunderclash on shore leave, and I had a quick com session with Rung, and he suggested I write down what I don’t like. Kinda helped me out. It’s not supposed to be read out loud.” The lift came to a stop and as soon as the doors were open enough for Rodimus’ alt-more to fit he floored it. “But that’s not the worst thing about Thunderclash, I think the absolute worst thing would be his oblivious nature. It’s bad when he hardly notices everyone falling onto their knees to kiss his aft. But it’s really bad when he can’t simply read the signs.” “Frag, frag, frag.” Rodimus hissed, spotting the captain’s office just ahead, a group of mechs jumped seeing his frame speeding right towards them with no indication of stopping. He started taking names of all of them, let Megatron sort them out. “I get it, honestly, he’s got this stupid puppy love crush on me, and it’s honestly embarrassing that he can’t simply take a very, VERY, clear ‘no’.” The mech snorted. “It’s kinda pathetic, thinking that I would be caught dead with that-” The door opened when he sent the code, changing into his root-mode and using his servo to catapult himself, then landing on his peds and front flipping into the office. “-the absolute wreck of a Prime.-” His ped smashed into Getaway’s golden battle mask, Getaway was thrown to the ground Rodimus’ peds firmly planted on his helm. With a flick of a digit he shut off the internal comm system, and turned his attention to the mech under him. Getaway was knocked out, then again having your helm slammed into the floor so hard that it creates a mini creator can do that to a mech. Rodimus spun around seeing a sea of not so happy optics glaring at him. “Frag.” He ducked as an empty cube was thrown at him, Drift sliced it in half and shut the door. Rodimus sunk behind his desk, wondering if the door was going to hold, and what to do with a knocked-out Getaway?

______________________________________________________________

He vented again, his whole system wheezed, peeling open his optics once more with a slight inhale. His systems reported that he was dangerously low on washer fluid and that was bad, and he didn't want to replace his ‘friendly’ optics anytime soon. With a huff he pulled himself out of his berth, rubbing his faceplates, he could still feel the moisture that clung to his cheek plating. Nothing like doing a double shift and getting ready to recharge and then you hear everything one of your captains hate about you being broadcasted over the whole ship.    It felt like another fusion cannon to the spark, but this time it was Rodimus pulling the trigger. With a vent he pulled himself to the washroom, giving himself a good splash of cleaning fluid to the face. Then he stared at himself, eyeing his white orange, gold, blue and light teal, and to top it all off, his flashy decal. Admittedly the whole speech hurt, and he could grin and bear it, but what hurt was the last comment. “‘It’s kinda pathetic, thinking that I would be caught dead with that absolute wreck of a Prime.’” He quoted his captain, feeling his spark plummet again and his optics sting from the lack of washer fluid. “I-I suppose it is ‘puppy love’.” He forced himself to smile. “I’m sure the crew-no my…’fan club’? Is giving him a hard time.” Thunderclash vented turning away from the mirror.    He jumped hearing a ping at his door, giving himself a quick shake, and trying to put on a tired-looking face, he opened the door.    Riptide and Velocity briskly stepped in, Riptide pulled him back into his hab while Velocity glared out the door and locked it behind them, his two blue friends spun around and stared at him. “Did you hear it?” They both asked at the same time.    “Honestly? Yeah.” He chuckled, it was dry and hurt his intake.    “Thunders, honey.” Velocity pulled him into a hug.    “Don’t you mind that.” Riptide patted his back.    “Yeah, don’t let that get your down, alright?” Velocity pressed a kiss to the side of his helm.    Riptide fell onto his back giving him a strange but loving hug. “Yeah, don’t let yourself get wrapped up in that.”    He smiled. “Thank you, both of you. I’m more worried about the captain.”    Velocity grit her denta. “What?”    “Why?” Riptide asked his rudder snapping back and forth.    “Well, it’s no secret that I’m more liked and my ‘fan club’ is going to be coming for his helm. Not only that but he’s the kind of mech that will beat himself up over this.”    “Oh, so what are you planning on doing?” Riptide asked.    “I was thinking if there was a way to tell the ‘club’ to leave it? And if he asks about it I’ll just say I was in recharge.” Thunderclash shrugged. “And I’ll just leave him alone, give him his space.” That did hurt, like stepping first into acid, he didn’t mean to crowd the captain, he just wanted to know Rodimus a bit better. Normally watching him from afar, and now he would just not watch the brilliant captain in action. “Oh well, I’ll be fine.” He grinned as it felt like another shot tore through his spark.

[agatharights]

Okay so the bastard warlord dads au. I just adore it? That's amazing! I just wanna hear more stuff about Star and Megs trying to be dads to Orion. How does that all go?

It’s actually part of an AU called Transformers: Toku, largely based off of tokuketsu tropes and stories, that I share with @drawma-king but the warlord dads were one of my contributions- a combination of the common trope where one of the protagonists turns out to have an Evil Dad (or two, in this case) and the fact that every so often I look at Optimus Prime and Starscream and remember that it’s funny they have the same color scheme.

(if there’s anything I re-use from this AU into others, it’ll probably be the warlord dads arrangements because *chef’s kiss*)

Also because I wanted to post it- here’s a little short story about Orion’s first “real” face to face meeting with Megatron and Starscream! It goes about as well as you’d think.

UNDER THE CUT because long. Sorry, mobile users.

As for how it goes...it goes well at times, poorly at others? They’re trying, but also the kind of people who look at conquering a world because they’ve decided they have the Divine Right of Kings are gonna have some issues from the get-go. After the supposed death of their kid, Megatron and Starscream decided very actively to never approach the concept of family again- it hurt terribly, neither of them have much emotional maturity, and they had a war to run. So unfortunately they don’t actually know how to deal with kids, having avoided them for so long.

Not to mention that Orion(at the time named Guiltaur)’s loss was overtly traumatic. A Decepticon fortress was hit in a surprise attack by Autobot forces that outright destroyed the entire structure and sent the high-ranking Decepticons who were holed up there scattered- it was a tremendous step in destabilizing the Decepticon empire for the Autobots, a good move tactically. The Autobots who were combing through the rubble afterwards were horrified to find a sparkling- miraculously unharmed, and ushered the child away in secret- in no small part to hide the fact that they’d operated on bad intelligence and attacked a building that was not just military, but apparently domestic as well.

Megatron and Starscream, believing that their child had died as a result of Autobot attack, kicked the war into high gear, and that’s when stuff started getting real interesting. Meanwhile, Orion’s past was scrubbed to keep him safe from both autobot retribution for his parentage, and to keep him hidden from Decepticons, and he was placed into the care of the Order Pax- a religious order that took in a lot of war orphans, and eventually he was taken in by Alpha Trion, an archivist looking for an apprentice who definitely didn’t fortell all of this happening that would be silly you’d have to be, like, a prophet or a prime to tell that stuff :)

Anyways

Megatron struggles with treating Orion like a new recruit- he’s deeply impressed when Orion turns out to have excellent combat and self-defense skills for sparring (thanks to Orion’s secret life as Optimus Prime, Hero) and tries to bond with him through training- but inevitably pushes too hard because he can’t tone it down. On the flip side, Megatron’s preferred method of showing affection is just by giving people things, so a whole-ass lost library is an appropriate present for a kid, right? Right????

At the very least, Megatron gets that parental relationships are hard (given his own rocky family relationships) and isn’t really sure how to be attached to Orion. He feels like an interloper, and the fact that Orion is very clearly not interested in sticking around only makes it sting- but Megatron at least tries to convince Orion that sticking around is worth it. Sure, things are a little nasty right now, but wouldn’t you like to be crown prince of an empire? Wouldn’t you like to someday rule? We are from royal stock, and you carry the blood of kings.

Starscream instantly becomes attached. And covetous and overprotective. He hovers over Orion, and while Orion’s more or less okay dealing with it because he likes physical affection, Starscream is *very* touchy, literally. He’s constantly touching hugging him, touching his face and shoulders, kissing his helm or outright grooming him like he’s a youngling. Skywarp and Thundercracker are more casual, but still super affectionate towards Orion- especially since they basically become defacto babysitters for the most part, and Orion finds himself surrounded by a triad of very loud, broody birds a lot.

Starscream’s also a little disappointed that Orion’s favoring a grounder altmode, seeing as Orion also has the “genetics” more or less to become a Seeker as he’s still a youngling (I’ll probably post my lil thing about genetics in this setting) but is damn proud that Orion’s inherited a lot of his appearance- they both have longer faces and bright yellow optics/biolights, he has Starscream’s color and long legs and Orion even has little semi-thrusters on his heels (that give his truck altmode a jump-boost)!

Megatron is afraid of becoming attached, because losing those he loves is standard fare. Starscream is afraid of not being attached enough, as if raw love and want could keep Orion safe this time.

Orion would like to leave. This is terrifying- he’s been moonlighting as a power-armored hero fighting the Decepticons- including Megatron and Starscream themselves, and if they found out he’s pretty sure it would be catastrophic. Even without that, though, he’s an Autobot kid- he wants to be back in the Archives, with Alpha Trion and his friends. He’s been dragged out to basically a castle in the middle of nowhere, halfway across the planet from his home, and he can’t get out. It would wear on anyone’s nerves.

Megatron is terrifying and stern and way too eager to throw other people around literally, not to mention that Megatron is pretty intense in his growing megalomania, and Orion picks up on the fact that this dude legitimately believes it’s his divine right to rule and that’s not just a story to unite his forces. Seeing as Orion has interacted with the spirits of several ancient Primes at this point, he knows EXACTLY how that sort of thing usually goes down. It never goes down well. And then Starscream is overbearing and obsessive, treating him like literal treasure, but not toning down the inherent violence of his inclinations in the slightest, while still insisting on grooming him, touching up his paint, and constantly feeding him.

The part that freaks out and ultimately hurts Orion the most is that he can see how much they both desperately want this. He’s shown Megatron and Starscream not as monsters to fight on a battlefield, but as broken, wounded people who’ve turned their pain into brutality, but treat him like he’s made of precious crystal. He learns about grand-creators and family histories he never knew, he learns about Decepticon history and how these people all came together.

Worst of all, he learns that Megatron and Starscream love him.

And that love can truly sink some people to unspeakable depths.

Knowing that someone would do anything for you is a terrible curse, when that person is willing to literally turn people into mindless monsters to fight for their cause.

[doktorsterben]

💋 💤 🛁 🔪

Send my muse an emoji and see how they react.

💋 - for my muse’s response to your muse kissing them.

(verse : autobot)Knock Out is caught off-guard immediately. For all his salacious taunts he might throw around at his Autobot counterpart, he certainly wasn’t expecting Ratchet of all mechs to actually… react on them. The stunned expression slowly melts into something sultry and devious, red halos glancing up and down at the Autobot as if sizing him up. 

“Well, well, old mech. Look who’s finally decided to come around. But don’t think this is enough to distract me – I’m still going to get you to try a different color scheme if it takes until I rust.”

💤 - for my muse’s response to your muse climbing into bed with them.

(verse : autobot)He’s not used to the Autobot base yet. In fact, he’s still downright paranoid that something is going to happen to him. He hasn’t made it this far to be taken offline now and he’s not going to allow some Autobot soft-sparks to get the best of him. He’s rigid, waiting, all of his components operating at an erratic speed to detect the slightest hint of movement or sound. When a figure enters his small, walled-off area, he’s ready. As soon as his berth starts to dip even a fraction, Knock Out pounces. He kicks abruptly at the chassis that dared enter his area, knocking them to the ground and his left arm transforms into its blade-saw form. With the sudden commotion, the base’s lights slowly flicker on and Knock Out can see who the intruder is. 

Oh. 

“Ratchet! What were you thinking, sneaking up on me like that?! Idiot Autobot, I could have killed you!”

He’s going to ignore the outraged look that the other is giving him. He knows he’s going to get an audio-full of it once Ratchet collects himself after that stunt.

🛁 - for my muse’s response to your muse showering with mine.

(verse : seeker)What an awful day. He knew practicing surgery was going to be messy, but he didn’t think it would be this messy. His paint job was completely ruined now thanks to that stupid construction bot’s tank exploding. Whatever wet material was inside of him had erupted all over Knock Out and his mentor, and it was disgusting. Malfunctioning pressure component. By the time they had managed to open him up, the pressure had built to such an extent that his tank literally “popped” with the slightest ounce of force.

He groaned while standing under the warm solvent shower, letting the liquid wash over his frame. Ratchet, who had also been caught in the blast and was washing beside him, was rolling his optics of course; undoubtedly unimpressed with Knock Out’s minor tantrum.

“This is the worst.”

“You’re the one who elected to enlist in surgical science. Did you think you were going to come out clean and sparkly every time you went in to operate?”

Knock Out cants his head so he can cast a dry stare at Ratchet, unamused with the sarcastic retort. He certainly didn’t need sass on top of this devastation. This was going to take forever to re-paint.

🔪 - for my muse’s response to your muse stabbing mine.

–What.

Knock Out’s attention is immediately drawn away from whatever prize it is that Megatron seeks this time, focused instead to the large, glaring gouge that now crosses the entirety of his chassis. His processor does a hard reset out of the sheer animosity that starts quaking from his frame– ruined again.

“You– what have you DONE?!” he roars, blade-saw swinging at Ratchet with hysterical gestures. For the most part, he only manages to clip Ratchet a few times with his attacks before he realizes what is happening. He’s being drawn away from the fight, but he can’t find himself to care. Breakdown can handle is own.

His blade-saw crashes into Ratchet’s own blade and they both press inward, each of them trying to force the other back for an open position to attack. Knock Out’s expression is absolute fury, a dark scowl marring normally casual features as he imagines Ratchet melting on the spot from the sheer ire of it.

“It’s a good thing you came with friends, doctor. Because when I’m done with you, you’ll need all help you can get picking up your pieces!”

[invasato]

List your frenzbee headcanons, go!!! (I just want to hear more about them, I'm attached to this ship now)

my answers for this got deleted like 4 times ACK but anyways,,, ill put this under a readmore bc it got a little long GJFHG

- in most of my aus (which disregard the g1 movie and following season so i can do my own shit) they end up building a trailer on earth to live in! a cozy place just for them, theyll visit cybertron when they feel like it

- pet names! so many pet names. they both hate 90% of them so much but love to annoy each other

- very very clingy. lots of hand holding and cuddling. theyre touch starved gays

- if they have sparklings in whatever au im messing with, its twins! they do the best they can as first time dads and love them so much. the girls have so many grandpas

- their wedding is a mix of kaonic and iaconian traditions! lots of dancing, lots of singing, lots of prepared energon, and it lasts for like a week. they honeymoon on cybertron!

- in some of my aus theyre VERY bad at keeping their relationship a secret because ngl thats the funniest thing ghjfhgjkh. everyone just pretends not to notice

- megatron is bumblebees Lowkey Estranged dad but hes still going to be On Guard. frenzy has a spark attack when he finds out /j 

- frenzy is literally the WORST at kissing when they first start dating. thank god bumblebee is such a good teacher >:)

- they spent a long while in a “bro…..” phase. theyre too embarrassed to talk about the fact that they figured that kissing your best friend and talking about running away from the war to live together was just Normal Friend Stuff. they just have dumbass disease

- bumblebee would sometimes smuggle frenzy into the ark to hang out by putting him in his car radio while he was transformed. frenzy got stuck a lot HGJFHDGJ

- frenzy once mass displaced for an entire day just to be taller than bumblebee and then passed out from exhaustion like a dumbass

- they both try so hard to be So Charming but bumblebee can always hold it up longer than frenzy can. he never hears the end of it LOL