green-lanterns-c0ck

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152: “Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night.” with Hank and Sylvester?(。ヘ°)

Hank's phone chimed again, for the third time that night, and he reluctantly turned to look at it. Even though he just wanted to go back to sleep, it could be an emergency.

The screen said 3:33 am, and he winced. 3 hours until he had to get up, and he'd barely managed to sleep at all. Worse, when he scrolled down to get a good look at his messages, he saw his uncle's name.

Despite being Hank's boss, Sylvester wouldn't allow him to skip work that day, even though HE was the reason he hadn't got any sleep the night before. Sending him such gems as "Help me, how do I pick up women in a bar?"

Like Hank was supposed to know? How did he think Hank was supposed to know that?

Hank had responded with his best advice: "Give up and hit on an older man instead" and Sylvester had just ignored him.

BUT.

He STILL insisted on sending him updates.

The latest one read: "She was speeding, we got pulled over, come pick me up."

"Stop sending me weird stuff so late at night." He responded back, with more than a few typos, because he was so tired.

Sylvester just sent him a pleading emoji in response

Hank groaned, and then started texting Todd. If he delegated he could still get like 2 hours of sleep, right?

200 writing prompts

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all the earth lanterns getting their own rings just makes more sense but i do kinda miss when there was only one to go between them because the writers would have to come up with excuses to use john and be like "yeah hal slipped in the shower right before a league mission. don't worry about it."

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Plz answer honestly! Also plz reblog for exposure 🙏

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guy in a glory hole and he recognizes hal's cock but he has to resist his urge to bite him because he doesn’t want to get kicked out of the glory hole

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Congratulations! You are the new sidekick to a DC or Marvel superhero. Spin the wheel to determine who your mentor is. (NO RE-SPINS)

Assume you will have a similar superpower or will learn a similar skill set (for the non-powered heroes) as your mentor or one of your mentor's canon sidekicks (dealer's choice) so you aren't completely screwed.

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Imagine hating the fact that Kon and Clark are canonically brothers... it leterally could not be me, I love weird half-clone siblings with a 15 year age gap, actually.

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i just think the concept of a virginity is really funny. oh you "lost" it and someone "took" it but somehow neither of you have it anymore? get real

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comic book poster WRAPPED

you squinted at a poorly-preserved comic panel 9011 TIMES

you thought about comic book polyamory no one else knows about 746 TIMES

you closed your eyes upon seeing a bad post about your favorite character 82 TIMES

you thought about blowing up tom king's house 100000 TIMES

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Hey! Just wanna say im really glad i found this account ive been getting into green lantern comics recently and your page is a godsend.Aside from that its one of the few that isnt overrun with batman/batfam content propinng him or his orphan child soliders by putting down other dc characters..so i was curious if you knew any dc fanfics that portray the lanterns as competent and or calling bruce out on his bullshit ( sorry if my text is a bit jumbled english isnt my first language)

I'm glad you like my content!

Tbh the fanfiction situation for Green Lanterns is just as bad as it is on Tumblr, if not worse. So a few of these fics are going to be bat-centric, but I've specifically selected those that I feel actually respect and understand the GLs instead of flanderizing them to be stupid assholes.

I've tagged the authors whose Tumblr usernames I could find in the fic or their AO3 profiles. If you're one of the authors I haven't tagged, just let me know and I'll edit the post to add you.

But without further ado, the GL contents of my bookmarks in no particular order:

Fics where the Bats are uninvolved or only play a minor role

In the end, we all bleed Green. by @catboyollie (series) - a collection of GL shortfics

Kink Meme #5 by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic) - my all-time favorite Guy Gardner fic

Friendship, Ice Cream, and Green Lanterns by MildlyRebelliousMint - GLs hanging out after a battle

Family is What You Make Of It by @exasperatedfey - in which Hal has to bail his fellow GLs out of jail

In Case of Emergency by @susanphoenix - Kilowog’s been adopted by the Earth heroes as the GL to go to if they can’t find the earth lanterns. No one told him that.

i ate up all the light by @effietrinket1619 - Six times Hal was there for a fellow GL (and one time they're there for him). TW for roofie

Good Cop/Bad Cop by @meduseld - shortfic of Hal being a scary mf

Adrift by @rose-cake - Simon and Jessica are partners. That word has multiple meanings. Minor Simon/Jessica

These Mountains by pastelplastic - Superman meets Tomar-Re, the Green Lantern who failed to save Krypton

Justice League's most wanted fugitive: Hal Jordan by Panamic - The Justice League are trying to find Green Lantern. Hal does not want to be found by the JL. Shenanigans ensue

No Rest for a Superhero by Crimson_Crystal - Kyle sacrifices sleep to finish an art commission and crashes

A Mind Of His Own by @wolfsbanesparks - The Justice League finds out Captain Marvel is actually a kid, and Hal is the only one who still treats him like a fellow hero

The Goddess of Petty Annoyances by @galahadwilder - Jessica invades Apokolips specifically to annoy Darkseid. Crack

Shooting for the Stars by @green-lanterns-c0ck - Guy in his yellow ring era bumbles into saving a galaxy far far away. Crack crossover with Star Wars

Hal & Kyle fics (there's enough of these that they warrant their own category)

Luminance by @lanternwisp - Hal slowly realizing he thinks of Kyle as a son

trajectory from me to you by @softpunks - deaged!Kyle thinks Hal is his dad

the moldy cup is not a metaphor by MildlyRebelliousMint - Kyle calls Hal "dad" and Hal goes to visit Barry, totally not freaking out

friendly fields and open roads by @ufonaut - Hal returned to life and feels like shit. Kyle comes seeking a mentor.

ship in a bottle by @hopeworth - Two former hosts of Parallax meet up for brunch

Fics involving Bats that respect Green Lanterns

we're in the mellow mayhem together (series) by lunaratlasky - Jason seeks out Hal whenever he wants to piss off Bruce

Emergency Line (series) by @crucifixinhell - jason looked at hal once and went "you seem like good dad material"

For Whom We'd Give Blood (series) by Boogalee99 - How Hal Jordan becomes the favorite uncle of the batfam

There's Always Another One by lapsedpacifist - Dick gets fired and decides to crash at Hal's place

To Overcome Fear (ongoing) by @dc-sideblog - Stephanie gets fired and Kyle decides that if the Bats don't want a perfectly good superhero, the Green Lanterns definitely do

Disclosure by @aj-artjunkyard - Maybe Hal isn't as at peace with a certain android's death as he thought he was... and maybe he's not alone in his grief either.

Stars in a Paint-Filled Sky by @thenaphorism - Kyle has to explain to the Justice League why he has a Red Hood/Troia tramp stamp

because you know better by @matchahater - Ion and Red Hood contemplate the ethics of resurrection

catch the asteroids that come your way by @thepackwantsthed - the only JayKyle fic that I've ever liked

Justice League International - Spoiled! by @secretlystephaniebrown - Guy Gardner, Crystal Brown's childhood neighbor and best friend, ends up taking in her daughter Stephanie after an unexpected turn of events.

the superhero game (ongoing) by Nyame - Jason Todd Peggy Sue longfic ft. a near-omnipotent White Lantern

I'm gonna pin this post and update it as I encounter more fics I like, so drop some recommendations in the comments for me and everyone else!

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People have spent so much time fleshing out random background male characters and so for feminism I am going to give one of DC's under appreciated female characters this treatment . I am absolutely fascinated by Joan Garrick as a character. DC is not. But who am I to let that stop me.

So what are some things we know about Joan Garrick (née Williams). One is that she met Jay Garrick when they were both students at college. More potential context was given by Millar and Morrison in the iconic Jay focused Flash (vol 2) #134. Here we learn that at the present time she is teaching microbiology and based on the fact that in my experience a specific microbiology subject is more common in university and she's heading in for specific classes not the school day I can infer she is a lecturer/professor. These few facts paint a picture of an awesome and boundary breaking woman in her own right.

We can assume she was in college in the 1930s. This makes sense. After all the 30s was the first generation where (almost entirely white and middle class) women attended colleges in greater numbers and with more social acceptance then before. They became symbols of newfound female independence and education. But at the same time they faced a lot of obstacles , particularly in co-ed institutions like Midwestern University. She still had to navigate her way through a very male dominated institution that did not take her seriously if they wanted her to be there at all. Along with the change in female education came cultural backlash both within and outside the academy. Misogynistic (and racist) detractors viewed female higher education as frivolous, unsuitable for women's 'fragile physiology' and even saw it as the 'suicide' of the middle-class white American family. Yeah these people were the fucking worst. Anyway, being a female student at a university in that era meant dealing with and overcoming all kinds of bullshit from exclusion to outright harassment (even more than it does now).

And then there is the fact that she apparently studied biology (or microbiology more specially) in a time where most women pursued degrees in teaching or nursing (if they planned to use it vocationally) or liberal arts (if they did not). Women were actively discouraged from taking science courses and Joan would have been trying to enter an even more hostile boys club whilst fighting against even greater social pressure. But despite it all she seemingly did succeed and presumably help break barriers for women in science which is awesome.

And we can see this refusal to back down in her personality. Joan's kindness is matched by her tenacity and her 'do first, ask for permission later' personality, which whether forged through her experiences in academic or before-hand helped her persevere overcome the many obstacles she would have faced. She's an absolute badass.

Now this is not strictly relevant but she also knew Jay was the flash the whole time which is really sweet. I personally like to think she figured it out because he kept asking her really specific questions about human metabolism and the like (biology seemingly is Jay's scientific blindspot) and she put two and two together. Also he just innately trusts her with his secret which is cute considering how much secret identity drama silver age couples went through.

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i cant find that one tweet thats like shout out guy gardner fans. god's strangest warriors.

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Hank puts donuts on his dick and then Al can eat them and suck him off

I'm not usually into food but I just watched a video of a guy seeing how man donuts he could stack on his erect dick. He got 4 on himself and I literally drooled.

Do you think Al would approve?

I think Al could get more than 4 on his

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in terms of wild breakup sex I feel like

guyhal would be insane 💖 they have more breakup sex than makeup sex. they break up in the middle of sex and then make up in the middle of sex and it lasts approx 2 days before they're screaming and throwing things at each other. they are a toxic het couple.

halkyle would not have breakup sex. when they break up they will cry and mope separately. their makeup sex is insane though. furniture gets destroyed. both of them are lowkey hoping the other one kills them or like, permanently maims them, but in a romantic way. they'll say stuff like "I'm going to carve my name into your chest with a knife and tie you to the bed so you can never leave me again" and the other person will be genuinely touched by this

johnkyle would not have breakup sex because they would never break up

johnhal would also not have breakup sex because if hal breaks john's heart he'll just exile himself from the corps and become a villain again because he's not worthy of being on the same side as john after he broke john's heart

guyjohn deal with their breakup like mature adults. well. current guyjohn would deal with it like mature adults. pre-kyle guyjohn would not have breakup sex because they're too busy fighting for hal's attention like """lesbians"""" fighting for the man's attention in a corny porno

guykyle also have makeup sex. they break up for approximately one day and the next day they are back sobbing about how they're so sorry and they've made a mistake and it'll never ever ever happen again. and then they fuck tenderly for hours.

alan would never have breakup sex because he is insane enough that if someone breaks up with him he'll just kill them.