green-lanterns-c0ck
green-lanterns-c0ck
Guy Gardner is Disabled
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And there's nothing you can do about it | Soup | 18+ blog
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 4 days ago
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#two of the most toxic people alive and kyle. listen. he can fix them.
CAN HE?
Hal and Carol cheating on each other with Kyle except they don't know they're cheating on each other with the same guy and Kyle doesn't know they're married. Send tweet.
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 5 days ago
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the issue with having a psych degree is that now I'm thinking about Guy Gardner having chronic traumatic encephalopathy. We already know that he has brain damage for multiple reasons, and if we combine that with the possibility of head trauma due to abuse as a child and then. also all the head trauma from being a vigilante...man. He also fits a lot of the symptoms such as: impulsive behavior, aggression, emotional instability, and hell. I'll argue for problems planning and trouble thinking. It's not outside the realm of possibility.
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 10 days ago
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 14 days ago
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 15 days ago
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if kyle is bisexual i think he's the type of bisexual man to need elaborate scenarios in his mind to allow himself to imagine kissing a man. like i don't think he'd be like "haha what if connor kissed me" he'd be like "oh my god what if i came under some kind of alien curse that could only be broken if someone kissed me... but everyone else was gone and it was just him... and we were in a cave with these bioluminescent veins of crystal along the wall... and we had also gotten in a fight with those aliens so our costume were all tattered... oh my goddd that would be hilarioussss"
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 19 days ago
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It did turn out to need the flavor of the ranch so really, who can critize you?
Syl's Bad Drink Saga
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[Image description: Comic panel showing Sylvester Pemberton aka Skyman holding a glass of bubbly drink and saying: "This All-California Punch is my own patented recipe, people - Champagne, Orange Juice, and Avocado Dip." A speech bubble from someone off page says: "Yechhh!" in disgust. End description.]
YOU KNOW IT, YOU LOVE IT: SYL'S BAD DRINK! COME CLOSER, EVERYONE AND HEAR THE NEWS: A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS HAVE MADE IT!
Started by @slutvester-pemberton in this post here (Link), where we all voted for her to experience the horror. Folks, she did it! She made the drink!
Ingredients used: Orange juice, champagne, Taco Bell avocado ranch.
Looked: Orange juice with floating ranch. Really unappetizing.
Taste: "It's not that bad, actually!" "It’s just the texture that gets me."
Verdict: Is this what Syl intended?
Due to debate over the inclusion of Avocado Ranch, I decided to also make my own version. I substituted every ingredient except for the Avocado.
Ingredients used: Mango-Orange-Apple juice mix (it was on sale and the pure orange juice was way too expensive), bubbly water (I don't drink alcohol), fresh avocado
Looked: Very green.
Taste: Literally just a bland smoothie. Texture is fine.
Verdict: Just made a bad smoothie 😔
Then I convinced my sweet little asparagus @kiseiakhun to make it and they did!
Ingredients used: Orange juice, Off-Brand Champagne, Avocado (lots), lemon juice, salt, yogurt, onion, garlic, more wine and orange juice,
Looked: Watery guac
Taste: "This mostly tastes like orange juice", "The avocado is invisible", "added some lemon juice and that made it better", "I added some yogurt and it did not make the eating experience better but it did make it taste more like a dip", "I actually just had to add more wine and orange juice in because it was losing its flavor", "The orange juice is having a strange reaction with the other flavours and cancelling Everything out", "Okay false alarm turns out it was the carrots I was eating it with", "Okay that dip was actually really good. I ate it all"
Verdict: JUST MADE BOOZY GUAC
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[Image description: Discord message by Little Asparagus ( @kiseiakhun ) reading: WAIT I THOUGHT IT SAID DIP
I JISY CHECKED THE SCREENSHOT AGAIN
If this was a drink it would taste like nothing. My version is better. Suck it sylvester. Get on my level. End description.]
So overall, in our experiences: This isn't that bad, the team is just cowards. Also: The Champagne is loadbearing and you should not sub it out. Use a blender to improve the texture. Using the ranch was a stroke of genius, because it's really really bland otherwise.
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 19 days ago
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Syl's Bad Drink Saga
Tumblr media
[Image description: Comic panel showing Sylvester Pemberton aka Skyman holding a glass of bubbly drink and saying: "This All-California Punch is my own patented recipe, people - Champagne, Orange Juice, and Avocado Dip." A speech bubble from someone off page says: "Yechhh!" in disgust. End description.]
YOU KNOW IT, YOU LOVE IT: SYL'S BAD DRINK! COME CLOSER, EVERYONE AND HEAR THE NEWS: A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS HAVE MADE IT!
Started by @slutvester-pemberton in this post here (Link), where we all voted for her to experience the horror. Folks, she did it! She made the drink!
Ingredients used: Orange juice, champagne, Taco Bell avocado ranch.
Looked: Orange juice with floating ranch. Really unappetizing.
Taste: "It's not that bad, actually!" "It’s just the texture that gets me."
Verdict: Is this what Syl intended?
Due to debate over the inclusion of Avocado Ranch, I decided to also make my own version. I substituted every ingredient except for the Avocado.
Ingredients used: Mango-Orange-Apple juice mix (it was on sale and the pure orange juice was way too expensive), bubbly water (I don't drink alcohol), fresh avocado
Looked: Very green.
Taste: Literally just a bland smoothie. Texture is fine.
Verdict: Just made a bad smoothie 😔
Then I convinced my sweet little asparagus @kiseiakhun to make it and they did!
Ingredients used: Orange juice, Off-Brand Champagne, Avocado (lots), lemon juice, salt, yogurt, onion, garlic, more wine and orange juice,
Looked: Watery guac
Taste: "This mostly tastes like orange juice", "The avocado is invisible", "added some lemon juice and that made it better", "I added some yogurt and it did not make the eating experience better but it did make it taste more like a dip", "I actually just had to add more wine and orange juice in because it was losing its flavor", "The orange juice is having a strange reaction with the other flavours and cancelling Everything out", "Okay false alarm turns out it was the carrots I was eating it with", "Okay that dip was actually really good. I ate it all"
Verdict: JUST MADE BOOZY GUAC
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[Image description: Discord message by Little Asparagus ( @kiseiakhun ) reading: WAIT I THOUGHT IT SAID DIP
I JISY CHECKED THE SCREENSHOT AGAIN
If this was a drink it would taste like nothing. My version is better. Suck it sylvester. Get on my level. End description.]
So overall, in our experiences: This isn't that bad, the team is just cowards. Also: The Champagne is loadbearing and you should not sub it out. Use a blender to improve the texture. Using the ranch was a stroke of genius, because it's really really bland otherwise.
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 19 days ago
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i think kyle rayner turned out as well as he did because he lucked into light and color emotion powers. i think if he randomly got generic enhanced strength speed and reflexes he'd be a lot more miserable. i think it's genuinely beneficial to his emotional well being that every now and again he gets to be like “no... i won't let you hurt them... i can save them... i can save... EVERYONE!!!!!!” and explode in a pillar of light
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 21 days ago
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the term "fridging" has become so ingrained in the world of fandom discussion and media criticism and it's so rarely meant literally that it's very easy to forget that it came from a fucking insane green lantern comic where they hated women so much they genuinely put a dude's dead girlfriend in a fridge
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 23 days ago
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really super | commission info & ko-fi links available on my pinned post♥! |
♥ reblogs appreciated! do not repost/edit/etc
[Image ID: A drawing of Supergirl from DC Comics in her 1970s uniform, a loose blue v-neck tunic with the S symbol on the right, red shorts, red cape and choker, and red ballerina shoes with dangles on them. She is looking at the viewer and smiling very slightly. Her fist is raised. The background behind her is a mixture of red, yellow, and blue with white dots on the upper left and lower right.]
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 24 days ago
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The fact that he's melting down ancient artifacts does, in fact, make him Carter's (archeologist) greatest enemy.
Also there was a teamup with Vandal Savage in the past that Vandal's kind of embarassed about when they meet in the present. That gun sure looked more impressive before Vandal got his hands on space laser weapons... He doesn't get invited to the cool modern day villain team ups.
Started making fun of Abra Kadabra came up with the concept of a supervillain who travels back in time to fight Khufu and absolutely refuses to ever fight modern day Hawkman whose thing is stealing priceless artifacts in the ancient world and then coming back with them to melt them down for gold. He uses a normal gun because that's pretty impressive 3000 years ago.
No one in the modern world knows he's a supervillain because he only commits crimes in the past.
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 25 days ago
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you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up
You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 25 days ago
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I need to make more tumblr post. My friends keep stealing my thunder
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 25 days ago
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THEY ARE MORE THAN FRIENDS AND BRION SHOULD HAVE RECRUITED HANK TO JOIN HIS BREAKDOWN VILLAIN GANG
Reading comics is fun because if you read an issue where your character has sexual tension with any other character you get to call them his boyfriend in perpetuity. Every time they appear. You get to say "Hey it's Hank's boyfriend Brion Markov," and this sentence will make no sense to anyone who hasn't read a niche comic crossover from the 1980s.
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 26 days ago
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I never understood why people voted to kill Jason Todd in that phone poll until Tom King created Lizzie Prince
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 27 days ago
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Trickster: I don't get why people think I'm not straight
Trickster after two beers, to Piper, in the middle of a packed villain bar at the start of his career: c. Cana I pleleaaase get you pregannt
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green-lanterns-c0ck · 27 days ago
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the dumbest SinHal concept ever, by me
Various aliens turn up on Earth over the course of a few weeks to serve Hal with divorce papers bc Sinestro is meticulously filing for divorce on every single planet they got married on.
Eventually, Hal has had enough and proclaims that if they're divorcing, he's taking half of everything. They go to Space Court and despite trying his best to intimidate everyone, Sinestro is ordered to give Hal half his assets, which include his corps.
Everyone gets called to New Korugar and Hal and Sin alternate calling out the names of the corpsmen they want like they're picking players for a baseball game. Guy, John, and Kyle all come to bear witness. They think this is great. The Korugarian civilians also come to watch. They also think this is great.
Absolutely nobody knows what Hal is going to do with his half of the army, including Hal himself.
Sinestro chooses Lyssa first. Soranik gets mad that she wasn't his first choice. Sinestro says he has no choice, Lyssa's got the book, but he'll pick her next. Hal chooses Soranik. Sinestro is furious. Hal pulls out a custom printed t-shirt that says WORLDS BEST STEPDAD and puts it on over his uniform. He tells Soranik that he will attend all her baseball games and she can stay up until 9pm. Soranik reminds him that she is a grown woman with an MD. He says in that case, she can stay up until 10. There is a short break so Sinestro and Hal can beat each other up.
After the fight, they get back to picking lanterns. It's like that picture of the divorcing couple with the beanie babies, but the beanie babies are several thousand deranged murderers. Dez and Rigen end up on opposite sides. Both are devastated. Hal is quickly running out names of people he knows and just starts pointing to whoever he thinks look cool.
Lyssa asks Sinestro if there's anything he can take from Hal in return. There is not. Not unless empty pizza boxes have suddenly become extremely valuable.
There is another short break so Sinestro and Hal can beat each other up again. The army is wandering away. Kyle tries to talk to Soranik but Hal tells him to stay away from his daughter. John leaves and does not return. Hal and Sinestro continue to pick soldiers. Arkillo and Guy get in a fight over nothing.
Hal gives Sinestro the chance to apologize and end this. Sinestro says that he is sorry… that Hal is an idiot. They break for lunch. Soranik admits this is pretty funny, but what is Hal's endgame? Hal says he has no idea, as he did not expect to get this far.
The day is halfway done and they've only gotten through a quarter of the Sinestro Corps. Someone suggests they just split the remainder by sector number. Both refuse. This is a matter of pride. Or something. The hours wear on. Hal says he wants the cat. Sinestro says Dex-Starr isn't in his corps. Hal says Sinestro should add a cat to his corps. This is not particularly offensive but it starts another fight because everyone is dehydrated.
Finally, the last soldier is called. The divorce is finalized. The corps has been split. There is nothing more to be done.
Sinestro turns to Hal and asks him to marry him again.
Hal says yes.
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