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The fact that he's melting down ancient artifacts does, in fact, make him Carter's (archeologist) greatest enemy.

Also there was a teamup with Vandal Savage in the past that Vandal's kind of embarassed about when they meet in the present. That gun sure looked more impressive before Vandal got his hands on space laser weapons... He doesn't get invited to the cool modern day villain team ups.

Started making fun of Abra Kadabra came up with the concept of a supervillain who travels back in time to fight Khufu and absolutely refuses to ever fight modern day Hawkman whose thing is stealing priceless artifacts in the ancient world and then coming back with them to melt them down for gold. He uses a normal gun because that's pretty impressive 3000 years ago.

No one in the modern world knows he's a supervillain because he only commits crimes in the past.

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you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up

You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

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I need to make more tumblr post. My friends keep stealing my thunder

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THEY ARE MORE THAN FRIENDS AND BRION SHOULD HAVE RECRUITED HANK TO JOIN HIS BREAKDOWN VILLAIN GANG

Reading comics is fun because if you read an issue where your character has sexual tension with any other character you get to call them his boyfriend in perpetuity. Every time they appear. You get to say "Hey it's Hank's boyfriend Brion Markov," and this sentence will make no sense to anyone who hasn't read a niche comic crossover from the 1980s.

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I never understood why people voted to kill Jason Todd in that phone poll until Tom King created Lizzie Prince

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Trickster: I don't get why people think I'm not straight

Trickster after two beers, to Piper, in the middle of a packed villain bar at the start of his career: c. Cana I pleleaaase get you pregannt

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the dumbest SinHal concept ever, by me

Various aliens turn up on Earth over the course of a few weeks to serve Hal with divorce papers bc Sinestro is meticulously filing for divorce on every single planet they got married on.

Eventually, Hal has had enough and proclaims that if they're divorcing, he's taking half of everything. They go to Space Court and despite trying his best to intimidate everyone, Sinestro is ordered to give Hal half his assets, which include his corps.

Everyone gets called to New Korugar and Hal and Sin alternate calling out the names of the corpsmen they want like they're picking players for a baseball game. Guy, John, and Kyle all come to bear witness. They think this is great. The Korugarian civilians also come to watch. They also think this is great.

Absolutely nobody knows what Hal is going to do with his half of the army, including Hal himself.

Sinestro chooses Lyssa first. Soranik gets mad that she wasn't his first choice. Sinestro says he has no choice, Lyssa's got the book, but he'll pick her next. Hal chooses Soranik. Sinestro is furious. Hal pulls out a custom printed t-shirt that says WORLDS BEST STEPDAD and puts it on over his uniform. He tells Soranik that he will attend all her baseball games and she can stay up until 9pm. Soranik reminds him that she is a grown woman with an MD. He says in that case, she can stay up until 10. There is a short break so Sinestro and Hal can beat each other up.

After the fight, they get back to picking lanterns. It's like that picture of the divorcing couple with the beanie babies, but the beanie babies are several thousand deranged murderers. Dez and Rigen end up on opposite sides. Both are devastated. Hal is quickly running out names of people he knows and just starts pointing to whoever he thinks look cool.

Lyssa asks Sinestro if there's anything he can take from Hal in return. There is not. Not unless empty pizza boxes have suddenly become extremely valuable.

There is another short break so Sinestro and Hal can beat each other up again. The army is wandering away. Kyle tries to talk to Soranik but Hal tells him to stay away from his daughter. John leaves and does not return. Hal and Sinestro continue to pick soldiers. Arkillo and Guy get in a fight over nothing.

Hal gives Sinestro the chance to apologize and end this. Sinestro says that he is sorry… that Hal is an idiot. They break for lunch. Soranik admits this is pretty funny, but what is Hal's endgame? Hal says he has no idea, as he did not expect to get this far.

The day is halfway done and they've only gotten through a quarter of the Sinestro Corps. Someone suggests they just split the remainder by sector number. Both refuse. This is a matter of pride. Or something. The hours wear on. Hal says he wants the cat. Sinestro says Dex-Starr isn't in his corps. Hal says Sinestro should add a cat to his corps. This is not particularly offensive but it starts another fight because everyone is dehydrated.

Finally, the last soldier is called. The divorce is finalized. The corps has been split. There is nothing more to be done.

Sinestro turns to Hal and asks him to marry him again.

Hal says yes.

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I gotta say that actually reading the (so many) issues where Captain Cold meets a woman and is such a fucking weirdo instantly just makes Trixie so much funnier. Like James really saw that and went "You know what would be a really good idea?"

Anyway Len should have been weirder about James and given him the full kidnapping date treatment and James should have been like "Oh shit I'm gay" in 1986 instead of 2008.

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One could argue that Guy is the alien baddie

john marrying katma, kyle and soranik, whatever hal and sinestro have going on…

do human GLs just have a thing for korugarians?

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AU where Katma Tui survives and has a baby with John. Korugar refuses to accept Katma (or any Green Lantern) after everything that happened, no matter how many times she proves herself, so eventually she gives up. She's not letting her baby grow up on a world that hates their family. Earth is her home now, and her baby will be raised as a human.

John is concerned that their baby is missing out on half its heritage, but he's not able to do much about it and figures they can revisit the subject when the baby is a little older. Besides, maybe some time away will help the Korugarians calm down and see Katma can be trusted.

(We saw how badly Soranik was treated after she got her ring. I can only imagine it was 10x worse for Katma, who had to serve as a GL immediately following Sinestro.)

Katma has a lot of trauma from being suddenly rejected by her homeworld, so she pretty much immerses herself in Earth culture. She doesn't sing traditional Korugarian songs to the baby, she doesn't celebrate any Korugarian holidays, and she doesn't do anything that a human mother wouldn't do.

One day, when the baby is around six months old, Hal gets a frantic call from John. The baby has vanished. He's searched everywhere. He only took his eyes off her for a moment. Hal says, "Look up." John looks. The baby is watching him from the top of a bookcase. "Didn't Katma tell you they can jump three times their own height from a standing position?" No. No, she did not.

John consults with the ring, trying to get ahead of any more surprises, but this baby is a brand new hybrid and the ring can only make educated guesses about what she's capable of. He pushes a little harder to get Katma to share her culture with him and their daughter. Katma says there's no point, that they'd only be setting her up for heartbreak, that the Korugarians will hate her. The baby is loved on Earth. John's family has been nothing but welcoming. What more could they need?

IDK I just think this could have been an utterly fascinating thing to explore. John knowing firsthand what cultural diaspora is like. Katma being traumatized by Korugar rejecting her and wanting to protect her child from it. Korugar being traumatized by Sinestro's rule and being unable to see the Green Lantern as anything but a sign of oppression. Nobody is wholly right or wrong, they're just trying to do what they think is best. Plus, we'd get to actually do some exploration of Korugarian culture and biology and lean into the fact that they're aliens. I love to write them as cheetah-inspired, with feline ancestors, evolved for a desert climate (could be a whole other post honestly).

Hal has had his ups and downs with Katma, and he's sure as hell not claiming he knows anything about how to raise a baby, but he's concerned, too. And he knows more about Korugar than he lets on. He was much closer to Sinestro than most people realize. He knows the stories that Katma refuses to tell, he knows the language that Katma refuses to speak. He doesn't want to go behind her back, but when the baby comes to him seeking the missing pieces of herself, he's not going to turn her away.

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Honestly most of the bad things that happen in issue 1 of Absolute Green Lantern is because Hal lives in America where people are just itching to shoot someone.

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being a comic fan is soooo embarrassing like. yeah here’s Blorbo Blinkus. i constantly rotate them in my mind. anyway would you like to hear how every single portayal of them ever is Wrong and mine is correct

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I'm in your fandom, polyculing your found family.

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comics your civilian casts…don’t forget about your civilian casts 💔

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Also like, Lois and Hal and other members of that age group. Excluding Diana's nebulous age.

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more comic characters should haunt their writers like how everyone who’s written John Constantine keeps meeting him in dark alleys

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give me weird alien eating habits clark kent. he has regular human food preferences because of how he grew up but his biology allows for the full spectrum of anywhere from 'literally does not need to eat to survive' to 'can process most things that would kill a normal human'. some random henchman points a gun at his face on a bad day and he's so frustrated he just bites it in half and starts chewing. someone tries to hand bruce a roofied drink at a party and clark smells the rohypnol and goes 'oh is that for me thank you so much', yoinks it out of the guy's hands, and drains it. clark buying food for the homeless people he talks to as superman using the money he'd normally budget for groceries