#Meanwhile meanwhile
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victusinveritas · 4 months ago
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Dogs have had many jobs throughout history, in this case: Revenge.
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mioakem · 2 months ago
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bro gay ppl cannot break up normally
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cleolinda · 11 months ago
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“What do you mean the tower is gone? Are you sure you’re in the right place? I actually used more colorful words than that,” Brett Elmore recounted to NBC News. “He said there’s wires all over the ground and the tower is gone.”
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humming-fly · 1 month ago
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I love how Gerald was trying to keep Shadow from spoiling anything about the future meanwhile literally everything Shadow says and does around Maria is the biggest death flag ever
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isjasz · 2 months ago
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nightmare fuel fr (i. dont know what possessed me to do this HASJDHAJWHEAWHEIJFKL)
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frownyalfred · 3 months ago
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“Bruce Wayne’s superpower is money” Bruce Wayne’s superpower is the ability to actively have a full-fledged panic attack and still look Superman himself dead in the eye without any of his vitals changing. Heart rate is a solid 60 BPM. You can’t even see him breathing. Put some respect on my man’s name.
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demaparbat-hp · 1 month ago
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Existential Nihilism Squad™
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rox-and-prose · 1 year ago
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i love the french, i love the way they pronounce Rs like they're disgusted with them
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varpusvaras · 4 months ago
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Bruce, for the record, is absolutely stoked when Jason brings Roy around.
Because this now means that he is a grandpa. He is so ready to be a grandpa. Let him be a grandpa. Please please please please-
(finally, he gets to just give things to someone. anything they want. (finally, he gets to give Jason so much money and things and Jason can't say no because they are for Lian too))
The thing is, now he is in a very deep and serious rivalry with Oliver, who will not be replaced as the number one grandpa. Absolutely not. So now they are waging war on each other for Lian's affections.
It's messy and it's bloody.
One day, during a JLA meeting, Green Arrow notices something peeking from underneath Batman's suit. It's colorful, so it stands starkly against the dark suit. It looks very familiar.
Green Arrow looks down on his hands. At the friendship bracelet Lian had made for him. He looks back up at Batman and the very familiar colorful thing he has on him.
"What is that?" He asks.
Batman turns to look at him. He follows Green Arrow's gaze, and looks at the colorful thing on him, and then at the bracelet on Green Arrow's wrist.
"What is that?" Batman asks, nodding at the bracelet.
"I asked you first."
"I asked you second."
Green Arrow glares at Batman.
"It's a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.
Batman glares at Green Arrow.
"And this is a friendship bracelet my granddaughter made for me", he says.
They glare at each other. The meeting room has become several degrees colder. No one dares to utter a word.
Then they both pull out their phones and make a call.
"Jason-"
"Roy-"
Jason and Roy, in their bed, both realising that their dad's are calling them at the same time: fuck whatever it is, we're going back to sleep
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kitskiis · 1 month ago
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He keeps doing this I’m gonna cry
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palms-upturned · 11 months ago
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People in Gaza have been saying this would happen since the very start, as soon as the occupation started corralling everyone into the southern part of the strip they said this would happen. We watched it happen as the “safe” zones grew smaller and smaller and every time Rafah was targeted by air strikes even before this. And no one who could actually stop this lifted a finger. It’s been 129 days.
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ktkat99 · 4 months ago
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Jason comes back from the dead and, as he's still a bit out of it, heads to the manor.
Crawling straight up through six feet of compacted earth is hard, especially after waking up suddenly in a coffin, so after he makes it inside, he sits down to rest on the couch.
And immediately falls asleep.
Hours later, Bruce returns home to find Jason's body, covered in dirt, dug up from the grave and left on his couch.
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notherpuppet · 6 months ago
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Alastor pulls the “we’re not so different; you and I” card 🤪
Don’t fall for it Vaggie!!!!
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spaceistheplaceart · 5 months ago
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more ford and mabel bonding because i said so :)
bonus ford under the cut:
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bixels · 11 months ago
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There's no such thing as overpreparing for love.
Happy (late) Rarijack Valentine's.
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shotmrmiller · 2 months ago
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god going on a date with johnny whom you matched on tinder and he's the type of guy you avoid like the plague; jaw-dropping good looks, cheeky ㅤㅤsmiles, hits the gym more in a week than you've done all year and worst of all, could charm the pants off a snake.
so it's truly no wonder that you end up letting him bury his face between your thighs and lap at your glistening sex until your moans almost turn into screams and you haven't even left the bar's driveway, then left to watch johnny wipe the condensation off the windshield with a spare shirt so he can drive you home all the while his chin drips with your slick.
he fucks you against the front door once inside, legs hooked over his arms, then again over your couch, hand curled around your throat, and again, in front of your full length mirror while he tells you how pretty you look taking all of him, to look at how pretty you look, his crystalline eyes latching onto yours through the reflection, pretty as a peach.
then he leaves you with his spend sticking your thighs together, a languid kiss that tastes of you, and with his personal number on a scrap piece of paper.
and that's the last you hear of him. he'd said that he's quite a busy man, military and whatnot, and all in all, while you'd raked your nails down his back on the first date, it had been a date. you require more than good sex to get into a committed relationship.
a swipe of your thumb brings up tinder again, and you match with another bloke not your type. big, broad man, biceps the size of your thighs with a deadpan stare that sees right through false bravado. but he's doesn't seem to care in the slightest that he makes you nervous, doesn't care that you stutter out responses to his rather abnormal questions.
simon takes you home and sits eerily silent with his hands dwarfing the steering wheel as you chew on your lip before tentatively inviting him in for a nightcap, and you must be the luckiest person on the planet because he's just as devoted to your pleasure as your last partner.
he brings you peak after peak with his tongue, his fingers, swirls your pearl with the tip of his misaligned nose. then he lets you be on top first, concentration knitting your brows togethee as you try to fit all of him in and pride warms your cheeks when you can hear his teeth audibly grind as his fingers bite into the soft of your waist once you take him to the root, thighs flush against his hips.
you come undone more times than you can count, the neighbors more than likely knowing his name by the time he walks out the front door (after checking the locks on your windows) and that's that.
until it isn't because a text from johnny awakens your phone screen, an invite to a restaurant downtown next saturday, one you've only ever fancied of eating at and well-
a date is a date, isn't it?
you tell him to pick you up at seven and he tells you to wear something you wouldn't mind letting him keep underneath, preferably something in red. (must've seen that particular number while you looked for some sleeping shorts before he left that night.)
hopefully you won't feel too bad breaking things off with whoever doesn't ask you to be theirs first.
(simon and johnny fuck each other to the thought of you back at base, simon's fist viciously tight around johnny's cock as he's got him drooling into the flattened pillow, almost like she's fucking you too, eh, johnny?)
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