#Meant to post this yesteday

[the-ghost-of-a-spirit]

part 2 of me watching mha and recording my thoughts, starting at ep 12

i think we're going to have a school arc, since it's 2 big arcs per season, and they go school-battle, like the first, which was start-usj, the secon which was sport's fesival-training-hosu then camp-all for one

wait, todoroki has a sister? good to know ig

almight saying he's going to train deku in that scene is actually so sweet.

okay, so i think aizawa got a haircut? anyway, wonder what their trying to convince them in

oh, its dorms, boarding school time apparently

i guess we know where bakugo gets it from

am enjoying this episode of them going to peoples houses, not sure why, maybe cause its peaceful, but yeah

ma'am your child not being in dorms/at ua, will probably not fix the problem

hey, uh, almight WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR ARM

its funny to think that almights doing this, and aizawas just contiunes doing the normal thing

anyway, back to the arm, it apears HE LOST HIS ARM, so yeah, i think i should have noticed that by now

new headcannon that probably fake but its funny: Almight can't drive

"look alive" aizawa you hypocrite

bakugo literally just got a guy to do that, to make people laugh, thats actually really nice, i think i like him more now

tokoyami's room is really cool, i like it

Hi, hello, almight what the fuck is up with your arms, do you have 2 or 1? why do you have a cast without a hand?

do not like hatsume, she's like grapeboy but weirder and less horny (i dont think horny is the word, but good enought, point is, they are both characters i would avoid if i met them)

i think bakugo is gonna get nicer by the time i finish this part

i would think the license test would get them to fight eachother, but idk

there is more the that shikera guy (i think thats his name)

aziawas expression when that person approches him, though, why does he always have the weirdest expressions

"lets get married" "no"

betting aizawa used his quirk against joke, or he doesnt and laughs (i dont want to see him laugh, if i do i will... idk, yell about it here)

i am loving this interaction, its so silly, new fav duo, aizawa and joke

idk why but joke callind the students aizawas kids stands out to me

mara, why are you like this (/pos)

100/1500 is 15%, i'm smarter than ua students.

I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THEM HAVING TO FACE EACHOTHER

i think the sports festival is child exploitation or something

mara was forced to do this, he's probably going say he's not getting paid for this

uraka just tried to attack deku, she has a weird espression on her face, i think its mind control or something

oh, she was a different person, its that person who attacked deku the first time i think, she's creepy, i dont like her

OH SHIT, SHE NAKED, i dont think thats allowed

so, i think todoroki is the first UA student to pass

meatball bakugo looks like hes about to explode

ok so i dont think alot of ua got out

that is not laser mcfrenchmen, its that clone girl

on one hand, i doubt all of them will pass, but on the other, it makes sense in like, story plot things, but yeah

okay i was wrong about laserboy

THEYRE DOING IT, LETSGO this is actually so cool

plot reasons one, everybody passed

azaiwa and joke is so funny, like he's trying to not go with joke's jokes but she laughs anyway

wait, who are the bystanders? oh ok

"large scale terrorist attack on insert city here" mara has no right to be this funny. but he is

loving the electrcity guy and stone guy and bakugo, specially electricity and stone, forgot their names though "why are you always folllowing me" "we just wanna"

that drum background music sounds cool

istg if we get more than one episode about uraraka and deku.

is that guy gonna be a villan in this thing?

theres a list of pros who look like villans and i want to see it, if there was one of heros who act like villans, i am forcibly putting nezu at no.1

Well this is an interesting introduction

oh God his email notification

Im slowly dying cause of the lack of subtitles today, dunno why (and I can't turn them on)

Oh hey, it's a special episode

I think it was midnight who killed almight. Or present mic.

So the police got there before Midnight I think

"This was actually some kind of love story!!" Bakugo, I like you cause of this now

almight going to 'ambush' deku is so silly, and his "hii" too

istg if the next episode isn't the island

I am mildly disappointed about this not being them going to the island

I need that passing list but in like, English

deku passed, dont think bakugo did

todoroki and bakugo are the only ones who didnt

all for one's gonna escape, calling it now

almights cape when he leaves though... dramtic bitch istg (who isnt in this)

deku vs bakugo??

its probably the middle of the night and aizawas still awake, no wonder hes always tired

this is very mixed message, fighting while saying that

my boy deku gained 3% well done, hes getting there. slowly but he's doing it

i would ask almight to give bakugo a hug, but i think thats not a good idea nevermind

Holy shit a new person, i think he's important, probably a villan

MHA universe google is called Moogle and thats funny

new guy has a voice in his head

okay whats this guys deal, he's being weird and he put a mask on, i think ive seen the mask before, dunno who he is though.

oh, his name's twice, i think he was in the training camp attack

i dont want joint classes, i can barely remember the main cast, i dont need more characters.

"the adorable small mammal you all know and love the principle" Nezu why, why are you like this

mr houndog sure is something

i dont belive mic was able to stay quiet for that long, dunno why but he does

theres people in the walls

earphone jack girl breaking the forth wall

oh hey, its mr face in walls

the guys quirk is turning peoples heads into potatos and its hillarious

my boy be one of the 'big 3' and is struggling, i think he's my favourite, i forgot his name. Tomiki amajiki. thats his name the girl with blue hair is neji rehado face in walls in miriyo

"thats called physics" okay he's my 2nd favourite (sorry tomiki)

grand torino is so blunt

okay, so theres a guy called overhaul, he's important, he was at the start with the plague doctor looking guys.

is the guy in the office related to ida, i think he is

ANYWAY, thats a wrap, my thoughts on the rest of S3, see you for the start of S4

[astridthevalkyrie]

for some reason ever since i got off work i've been doing logic puzzles on sporcle and now my brain hurts 😭

[axolotl-druk]

Im sorry but Unavaatu is a freaking funny name

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

So, i'm seeing people saying that Amity may sabotage Luz's attempts to get home, judging by the episode's title Yesterday's lie. What are your thoughts?

This post just about sums it up. Amity isn’t even mentioned in the episode synopsis, and it’s not like Luz is planning to leave for good. I feel like people are jumping the gun on that one.

I don’t think we should be taking the “yesterday” in that statement so literally. I don’t actually think it’s about what happened the day before (we don’t even have confirmation that Eclipse Lake takes place a day before this episode). It seems way more likely that it’s just referring to something that just in general happened in the past. On that note, keep in mind, they have to keep the titles in line with the message that the episodes spell out. There’s only so many words that begin with Y and would make sense in this context.

(Also nobody would title an episode “that lie from three months ago”, lol)

And consider: we’ve had episode titles that were intentionally misleading before. “The Intruder” was meant to trick the viewers into thinking someone actually broke into the house, rather than the monster being cursed Eda.

Rather than Amity lying to Luz, there’s a way more obvious ongoing lie related to Luz in the show that I’m pretty sure this is referring to. It’s how she’s been lying to her mom about what she’s up to. Since Camila is in the trailers for the season 1A promo, I feel like the episode is about Camila finding out the truth/Luz being forced to come clean to her once she’s stepped back through the portal into her world. That’s what Luz isn’t sure she’s ready for.

Also I feel like the whole “Amity tries to prevent Luz from going home”-idea is kind of stupid to begin with? Amity was in love with Luz before the portal blew up. We didn’t see her attempting to destroy the portal back then.

Like guys this girl is fourteen, not some manipulative evil mastermind??? I like angst as much as the next person but like… that’s taking it a bit far. Amity attempting to force Luz to stay in the Boiling Isles would cause a major falling out, and not one they could just bounce back from. We’re likely only getting this one season and then three 40 minute specials. That’s not enough time to cover Luz and Amity trying to repair their relationship after a mess like this and everything else that’s been set up to happen.

There’s also another reason why I don’t think this title is referring to Amity, and that’s how Amity in general has been portrayed so far. She’s been raised to think of love as something conditional. Something you need to earn and something you lose if you don’t do what that person wants—which is why she tries so hard to prove herself to her parents (something she’s now finally starting to break out of). She is used to putting other people’s wishes before her own when she seeks their approval.

Amity loves Luz. And I think more than anything, she wants Luz to be happy. She wants to be with her, but she’s not going to force Luz to stay if that’s not what Luz wishes to do. Amity has been forced to do a whole bunch of things throughout her life by people that supposedly love her, and I just can’t see her doing the same thing to Luz when she’s been through that kind of manipulation a million times over and knows exactly what it feels like.

If she manipulates Luz like that and Luz catches her, she’d also risk losing her for good, and Amity doesn’t take risks that big easily. She’s used to having to give 120% because even 110% aren’t enough for her parents, and if there’s the ghost of a chance she could fail, she doesn’t even try. Up until she meets Luz, she doesn’t do anything against her parents wishes, despite knowing how much the twins get away with, because there’s a chance that she wouldn’t get away with it. She’s afraid of rejection, and since there’s a chance Luz could say no to her, she doesn’t ask her out. She’s also lost the most important person in her life (Willow) through her own actions once before, and I just cannot see her risking that again.

Amity is starting to take more risks now, because Luz inspires her to, but she’s changing as a person way beyond “she’s willing to take more risks”.

Screwing other people over to get what she wants (which is very much something she probably internalized considering the household she grew up in) is something Amity would’ve done before she met Luz, before Luz inspired her to be better. She cut Willow off because her parents asked her to. She used to tattle on the twins all the time because she wanted her parents’ approval. She burned Willow’s photo so people wouldn’t find out they were friends, even if it meant hurting Willow in the progress.

She did everything she could so her parents would be proud of her, so they would love her, even if it meant hurting others.

And Luz slowly changed everything. Luz, who is reckless, and selfless, and always stands up for the people she cares about, even when it means putting herself in harm’s way in the progress. Luz, who helped Amity fix things with Willow. Luz and her current friends inspire Amity to be a better person. “They’re nice to each other. They listen to each other. They make me think about the kind of person I really want to be”, to directly quote Escaping Expulsion. And that person isn’t the kind of manipulator her parents are, who will stop at nothing to get what they want, even if people get hurt in the progress.

That person is selfless, and does the right thing, no matter what. She made her first step towards that in Understanding Willow, when she fixes her mistake and faces her past misdeeds in the progress, even if it’s hard, even if she doesn’t want to, because it’s the right thing to do. Because she owes it to Willow, and she owes her an apology. In Wing it like Witches, she follows through on her promise to stand up for Willow and breaks ties with her old friends, even if her parents will definitely hear of that. Even at the risk of painting a target on her back for Boscha, Skara and their friends. Heck, she puts herself in harm’s way in the literal sense to give Luz a chance to win the game.

And in Escaping Expulsion, she even risks angering her parents to help Luz and her friends. The parental approval that she’s worked for for so hard for so many years is at stake, and she chooses to do risk everything to do the right thing, to help her friends. She chooses the people who treat her right, who make her happy.

Her powerful speech would be meaningless if Amity would then turn around and sabotage Luz. It says a ton about how much Luz trusts Amity that she trusts Amity to get something portal-related for her in Eclipse Lake, and I just cannot see Amity betraying that trust. It’s possible that Amity struggles with the thought of Luz going home in that episode, but I cannot see her doing anything to sabotage something that’s this important to Luz. That would be a huge disservice to her character in my opinion.

Seeing that episode title and going “this means Amity is lying to Luz and sabotaging her for her own selfish desires” is to completely ignore all of Amity’s character development. Amity isn’t that person anymore. She’s trying really hard to be better. If she were to sabotage Luz’s attempts at going home, and choosing that over open communication, it would be a huge step back for her.

Honestly, it feels more likely that Amity ends up choosing to openly communicate her feelings, which would be a huge, huge thing for her. Maybe when they say their temporary goodbye she says something like “you better come back soon” and kisses Luz before she leaves (which would align with her allowing herself to take more risks if they’ll make her happy that we’ve seen a bunch of lately).

To circle back to the beginning, like I said, it’s very likely that Yesteday’s Lie focuses on Luz’s relationship with her mom, and Luz freaking out at the prospect of telling her everything. How much of a role her friends and Amity play in it is very up in the air, even if as mentioned I could see this scenario leading into a confession scene.

[parvasilvi]

Old wounds, old friends

Endeavour Fanfic, Post S6E4 Degüello (spoilers ahead) 

The first thing Shirley did when she got home was kick off her shoes. They were elegant black shoes with a low heel; feminine but not impractical. That didn’t mean it wasn’t a relief to take them off. She set them neatly under the coatrack and hung her coat on the peg above them. The other pegs were empty, which meant her housemates were already out for the night; Tiffany had the late shift in the hospital this week, and Betty was out on her third not-a-date with Simon, so neither of them would be home any time soon. Not that Shirley minded. As much as she enjoyed having someone to come home to, it would be nice to have a quiet evening to herself.

She stooped to pick up the evening’s post off the mat and made her way to the kitchen. She sat down, put her stockinged feet on the table (only because Tiffany wasn’t there to yell at her) and thumbed through the post. It was mostly leaflets and pamphlets, but there was also a letter addressed to Betty and a large manilla envelope addressed to Shirley herself.

She smiled when she recognized the expansive handwriting. Dear old Georgina. As expected, the envelope yielded both a letter and a smaller envelope. She set the envelope aside and unfolded the sheets of paper. There were two of them, filled with Georgina’s large, messy writing. Despite being well into her seventies, Georgina refused to admit that her eyesight was going, and wouldn’t visit an optometrist, choosing to magnify her writing by hand instead. The subject matter was of the usual tenor; highlighting her own attentiveness for forwarding the letter, complaints about the dullness of getting old, and requests for Shirley to visit more often. Shirley smiled. Georgina had many faults, but you couldn’t accuse her of subtlety.

 Next, she turned her attention to the envelope that had been forwarded to her. Her good-natured mood snagged on seeing the return address; Oxford. It had been almost a year since she’d heard anything from her old team. She had thought that chapter of her life closed, a history erased behind her as even the station itself had ceased to exist. Yet here was irrefutable proof that the past wasn’t as far away as she’d made believe it was. She tore into the envelope.

The letter was short and to the point, neatly typed out on what must be left-over Cowley Station stationery.

Dear Trewlove,

I hope this letter finds you well. Much has changed in Oxford over the last year. I won’t bore you with the details.

The old Cowley team found Fancy’s murderer. It was a corrupt officer from Robbery, Alan Jago. He was shot while resisting arrest.

I thought you might want to know.

Yours always,

Morse

 Shirley put the letter down and stared unseeing at the kitchen cabinets in front of her. For a moment she was too surprised at the bluntness of the letter to properly feel something about it. The short, pointed sentences had tore into her like bullets, one after the other, ripping open an old wound, and now the pain was slowly seeping past the numbness. "I thought you might want to know," the letter had said. Did she? Was the knowledge worth dredging up old memories? Did she feel better now, knowing George’s death had been avenged? She found that very little had changed with that knowledge. The boy she had loved was still dead. She hadn't recognized the name of his killer.

She wiped at her eyes, sniffed noisily and picked up the letter again. Old wounds, old grief, but also old friends. The news itself meant little, she decided, she didn’t care for vengeance. But the fact that Morse had thought to reach out to her meant all the more. "I thought you might want to know. Yours always, Morse," followed by a phone number. She owed him the courtesy of reaching back. It'd be good to hear his voice.

 Part of Shirley expected him not to pick up. If she'd assessed Morse correctly, he'd have buried himself in work or drink. Yet on the fourth ring, there he was, terse as always “Morse.”

The memory was so visceral it took her breath away. She was a PC again, standing in the doorway of that dusty old station, Strange standing by the evidence board and pretending not to notice her, Morse hunched over at his desk angrily distracted by the phone.

“Hello?” His voice dragged her back to the present.

“Hello. Uh. Hi. It's -” she hesitated, unsure of the level of familiarity to use. To her relief, he filled in the blank for her.

“Trewlove?" A beat of silence. “I didn’t think you would call.”

“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d pick up.” There was a hesitation on the other end of the line and she grinned; she always loved getting him off-balance.

On the other end of the line, Morse got his thoughts back on track. “So you got my letter?”

“I did. Thank you for thinking of me.”

"How are you doing?"

Shirley considered for a moment. “All things? I'm all right,” she answered, and in saying it out loud she realised it was so. She was settling in well enough in London, and happier than she’d expected to be a year ago. “You?”

“Can’t complain,” Morse said.

“Can’t or won’t?” Shirley joked.

He huffed. “Shouldn’t, probably. The universe will hear and decide to give me something properly horrible to complain about.”

Shirley laughed, more out of politeness than for the quality joke. “It’s good to hear from you, Morse.”

“How’s the Yard treating you?”

“Pretty similarly to Cowley, honestly.”

“That bad?”

“It was never bad,” she tutted. Because it hadn’t been, not nearly as bad as it could have been.

“But they underestimate you?”

Shirley grinned. “And I let them. They’ll figure out just how sharp I am in due time.” They lapsed into silence for a moment. Shirley twirled the phone cord around her fingers. “So. How is… everyone?” She realized suddenly that she missed them. She hadn’t taken the time to think back - always focussed on carving a path forward - but it turned out the past was just a phone-call away. She thought of Bright’s kindness, Thursday’s protectiveness, Strange’s chivalry. She had never really fit in there, but at least they’d tried.

“Things were different, for a while, after.” The melancholy in Morse’s voice matched Shirley’s mood. There was some shuffling on the other end of the line, as Morse got up to start pacing. “We all dealt with it differently. Thursday stuck his head in the sand, the stubborn old man.” Shirley raised her eyebrows in surprise, to hear Morse speak so bitterly about his mentor. She had never cared much for Thursday’s old-fashioned ways, but Morse had seemed to respect him. “Strange really needed the closure. He’s a good man, Strange is.” There was something in the undertone of his voice there, an emotion Shirley couldn’t quite put her finger on; jealousy or wistfulness or regret, but she decided not to press, and Morse rambled on. “They buried Bright in Traffic for a while, but he managed to keep an eye on us anyway. He’s as unshakeable as always.”

Shirley smiled and nodded, before turning her attention back on Morse. “And how are you?”

“Oh, you know,” he said, and she could practically hear him draw away from her. “Same old.”

“Morse,” she said sternly. He should know better than to platitude at her.

He heaved a deep sigh. The pacing stopped, and she heard him take as seat while he formulated a more truthful answer. “I guess I’m… Functional?” He said, which at least sounded honest enough. “I bought a house.”

That caught her off guard. “A house?”

“More of a shack really.” Morse said, immediately down-playing his achievement. “I needed a project.”

“Still.” Shirley said. She hadn’t expected Morse to settle down. He didn’t seem like the type. Then again, a lot had changed in the past year, and she couldn’t begrudge him a need for some kind of stability. If she knew anything about Morse, it was that he didn’t do things by halves. Still, Morse owning a house… “I didn’t know you liked remodelling.”

“Me neither. It’s surprisingly fulfilling, scraping away at the old plaster until what was buried resurfaces.”

“Ever the poet. So when should I expect an invite to the house-warming?”

“Oh, not for a while yet. It needs a lot of work.”

“Don’t wait too long,” she said warmly. Morse hummed non-committally, but she hadn’t expected a clear answer anyway. “I should go.”

“Don’t let me keep you,” Morse said. “Yesteday’s leftovers are calling to me.”

“Likewise.”

“I’m glad you called, Trewlove.”

“Let’s talk again soon.”

[uniquexbehaviour]

Here is part two of what I posted yesteday ! Thanks for all the love on the first part of the story. Next part will be the fluffiness I promise !

____________________

She calls three times before finally getting a hold of Robbe. As the call starts, she does not quite know what to expect. She has a well imagined plan in mind but is ready for interruptions. She is hopping for one very specific thing though: getting this boy to Sander's side, no matter the cost. One thing she is not ready for, is the hoarseness of the young teenager's voice. She assumes that maybe he has spent a lot of time crying and very little minutes sleeping.

"Please…stop calling me. I'm so damn confused Sander…"

His mom can feel the heavy amount of pain in that voice even if the boy is not in front of her. It seems obvious by the small breaths he takes between his words. It sounds like the kid is about to break down. She takes a deep exhale, picking her first words very carefully. The last thing she wants is to startle the kid.

"Robbe right? This is not Sander. This is his mother, Helena. I know I called a few times already, but you weren't answering, and I really wanted to get a hold of you before Sander wakes up."

She stops talking as she hears a long exhale on the other side line. She knows very well that what she had just said must have had an impact. Before she can start talking again, Robbe's voice takes over their conversation.

"I'm so sorry…so so sorry. I had no idea he was manic. I just thought he was starstruck by all the feelings. I felt like that too you know, like nothing could stop us. The hotel, I should have known." Robbe was speaking fast, making it hard for Sander's mom to keep up with everything he was saying. "I told him it was expensive, but I guess I wanted to believe that maybe I deserved the happiness? It was selfish, I know. After everything we had been through, it seemed like we needed a break. I was thinking that maybe…just maybe… life was putting a stop to all the bullshit she had thrown at me. I'm sorry, I shouldn't swear." Helena stays silent as she listens, wondering if it was a habit for the boy to say sorry so frequently for things that were out of his control. "I just want you to know that my feelings for Sander were very real, I mean shit…fuck…I said a bad word again. Sorry…I mean they are real. I never wanted to hurt him, or cause issues…between Britt and your son." Robbe apologized once more, begging for the forgiveness of a women he did not even know. "Can you please just tell me if he is alright? Please, please just tell me if he's going to be alright? I'll leave him alone afterwards I promise. I just…I need an answer. Please…I'll do anything" Robbe spoke, voice breaking more and more as he started begging for a reply from his mother.

Helena nibbles on her fingers, surprised by everything she is hearing. She knows for a fact that Robbe never had the intentions of giving up on her son. It had to be something that happened between him and Britt. She slowly walks down the hall of the hospital, settling down in one of the green leather chairs against the wall. She runs a hand through her brown hair which she had not yet washed since Friday’s events. She tries to choose the right words even though her brain is heavily sleep deprived, wanting to do everything in her power to bring Robbe to her hurting son's side. She concentrates as she forms her next sentence, knowing the next few seconds of their conversation would be crucial.

"Sander is alright. He is safe. Depressed, but safe. He told me about you and about how much he cares for you, which is why I called you Robbe. I think someone gave you the bad information on what exactly bipolar disorder is. A mental illness does play tricks to your brain, but it never, ever, affects the realness of your heart." She says to the teenager, never haven believed in words so much. "We are at the Boekenberg paramedical center on Cruyslei street. I really, really think Sander could use the company of someone who he cares for so deeply."

Once again, Helena keeps close attention to what is happening on the other side of the phone. She hears the whimpers and the heavy breaths, knowing what they meant before Robbe even pronounced his following words.

"When can I come?"

She won.

                                                           ***

Sander's moment of serenity did not last long. His thoughts quickly became too loud, pulling him out of his peaceful sleep and dragging him back into his tornado of anxiety. He was now resting on his back, starring at the ponderous ceiling. He felt like the walls were slowly getting closer, ready to trample down on him and swallow him alive. Sander needed out, but he knew they only person who could bring him back had vanished. He surprises himself as he jumps in shock, feeling fingers gently wrap around his thin arm. He had not even noticed that his mother was back in his room.

"Shh…I did not want to scare you Sander. I kind of did something. I hope you won't be mad at me for going behind your back. I love you baby…I'll be back in an hour...Or sooner if you need me." Helena leans down and presses the softest kiss to her son's cold cheek before once again, allowing herself to step out of the room.

This time though, Sander is not left alone. The second his mother walks out, he can sense the presence of someone else slowly approach his bed. Sander painfully turns his head to the side, wanting to see the nurse who was probably coming to give him his daily dosage of pills. What Sander does not expect, is his eyes to stop on the most beautiful human he had ever came across. His jaw drops, tears immediately filling his exhausted eyes.

"Ro…bbe." The name comes out as a sob, but Sander no longer cares. He knows he might be dreaming and that his mind is maybe playing tricks on him again, but this feels real and he wants to be a fool and believe. The image that Sander thinks will vanish to dust gets closer and closer, which makes him think that maybe what he is seeing is not just a fantasy his brain has created.

Maybe Robbe, with his beautiful tearful spheres, his cute burgundy beany and his soft brown suede jacket, is really standing over his bed in this universe.

[peppermintlove1]

Shit My Sister Says

Episode Two

Watch me rip out my own uterus and shove it in your eyeballs

Don't worry this is the skin I regularly rip off

Corb on the orn

Consume the nugg give your stomach a hug

You need to put up with my shit to get to the post

Why is my body a disaster

I am but a simple noodle

Im not gonna sint on it

Lick my toe-ass

CAT stop being horny on main

I am extremely susceptible to click bait, please dont

Thats about as useful as the imperial system

You want me to be a shitpost but I am post-shit

Snape is not my homeboy

Boncu hes made out of bones but he has a flesh head

I dont think that means what you want it to mean

Why does he look horny while looking at that dog thing

Ummm i dont think i should have clicked that and seen what it meant

Increase your stories tension? More like increase my lifes tension.

No water for you, you cant drink and drive

The best books are about cookies

Dog heads are not a fetish, please stop

Looks like youll need a slushyyyyyyyyy

No I really don't

Nobodys actually real

The animalistic joy of carwashes

Their probably not edible

Tax evasion doesnt work apparently

Eat your greens, and have your heart palpitations

Humans are fruits

I do not become the shit post, the shit post possesses me

I dont want the cold demonic death touching my totsiees

anything is sporty when youre running for your life

Im kinky

you will be blessed on your voyage to the afterlife my loyal servant

Take me away Chevrolet

In light of the terroist attack yesteday, episode 2 is out a day late. Please pray for and donate to the victims and their families.

Episode 3 next Friday

[harhadoll]

Paradoksi - CP Juri ‘06

_

This was meant to be a quick snap and a quick post-processing, but... I even tweaked the colors so it was nice, but then I decided that it looked much better in sepia. Paradoksi has so cute outfit, but I am terrible at taking any nice, a more complex pictures of my dolls, especially whole outfit photos, but... Yesteday I just couldn’t, I needed to take pics of this coordination, so I did what I do 95% of the time: Put them sit on my desk, bring in my desk light, take the picture and then just photoshop the background black. Can dolls with black background be my signature? >_>;

[dandelion-girl]

I hate you, I love you - Simbar

Now proofread! (Sorry there some stupid mistakes...) So this is quite a big chapter, I guess I was feeling inspired. Hope it’s not too boring. Trying to post a chapter at least every two days. Feedback is very much needed and appreciated!

Plus I have a new fic (a requested one) about this amazing couple coming up! It’s called “Story of My life” and it’s basically what would have happened if Ámbar had been the one telling Simón she burned the skating ring. 

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Part 3

Ámbar’s POV

I close the door quickly behind me and slide to the floor. My eyes burning with tears forming. And this time I don’t hold them. This time I let them out. I need it. I need to not be strong. I need to hurt. Because I did bring all of this to myself. Or better, that stupid girl sitting downstairs did… This was all her fault… Why did she have to get in my life? Everything was so good without her.

I sob and shake, crying as I never did. All the anger, sadness and evil, dark feelings escaping my body in the form of tears. It was so ugly, so weak, but I never felt so good in my life. Not good in the sense of happy, or even calm, just good in the way that I didn’t have to hold everything inside because it was a sign of weakness, of failure to show such emotions. I let out a strange laugh. I had no one, literally no one, who was going to judge me for feeling? Certainly not me, because this was what I needed. I was done concealing my emotion. I was a mess; why would I hide it? No one cared. About me, more the less about how I was.

I get up and wipe the tears. It’s good to let it all out but this was getting ridiculous. No need for anyone downstairs to witness this scene. I lie on my bed and look at the ceiling. My head going at a thousand miles per hour. I was wrong. No one cared about me, yes that much was true, but they didn’t need to see how that affected me; how their happiness without me hurt me; how it broke me inside to know that I lost everything that I had and loved. The problem was, it was never mine to have or love. And there was no need to fool me when I said they, I meant him… I wanted to blame Luna for everything but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t have Simón if it wasn’t for her. But I didn’t have him, and if she had never appeared, I wouldn’t be suffering for him.

Who would guess that Ámbar Smith, the most beautiful and wanted girl in Blake, in the Roller, would ever be truly suffering for a boy… Yes, life can be crazy sometimes…

Me going down to dinner today had a point. I wanted them to feel as uncomfortable as I did on my own house. But the cards switched and I was left even more uncomfortable. Efforts were made to make me feel welcome, but not from who I wanted, from who I cared. What was I expecting? That the guy I begged not to left me, but did it anyways, would show some affection, concern? Please, Ámbar… Stop it… No one can really love you… When you were popular people like you for what you were, what you represented, not for who you really were. And now that you are nothing but a complete mess of feelings, emotions, thoughts, ideas, what is there to love?

I change into my sleeping clothes as I listen to Luna talking and laughing with Simón in the room next door. There won’t be peace for me today. Sleep will be my only consolation.

 Simón’s POV

The next day, after taking brunch with Luna (yes brunch because we stayed up basically all night since she couldn’t stop rambling) she suggests we watch a movie together. Still super sleepy, I agree not really wanting to do anything that requires a lot of energy.

It was a cloudy day in Cancun, not good for a pool day and not exactly the best weather to go roller skating. It was one of those days where you just want to stay on the couch and do nothing, for as long as you can. 

Since Monica and Miguel were out to visit some friends, Luna invited Mr. Alfredo to watch the movie with us. He agreed as long as he could choose and disappeared upstairs to find something for us to watch. I mentally laughed, thinking we would probably end up watching something in black and white with no one talking, but it was more about the company than anything else.

“Do you want popcorn? I do want popcorn. A movie isn’t a movie without some. I will be back in a moment!” Luna said heading to the kitchen.

“Try not to burn them, okay? Remember it’s only three minutes!” I joked and could feel her rolling her eyes while closing the kitchen door. A wise choice since we wouldn’t want the whole house smelling like smoke. Carolina (the maid here in Cancún) wouldn’t be too thrilled about it when she came back from her shopping.

I grab the remote and start binge watching, not paying attention to anything, my thoughts on dinner last night.

A click sound of shoes on the stairs breaks my thoughts and I turn my attention to the source of the noise. Dressed in a simple but oh-so-flatering black dress, paired with a leather jacked of the same colour with silver details, was Ámbar. Her bangs her pulled up and she had less makeup than yesteday, making it very obvious that she had a rough night. My heart skipped a beat, worry filling my body. I noticed she had a big black bag on her shoulder and figured she was probably going out to skate.

“Are you going roller skating? The weather isn’t so good…” I let out without even thinking. Ámbar, who hadn’t noticed me yet sitting one the couch, blinks and then raises her eyebrows, her cold mask now taking over her features.

“Simón, we are not partners, or friends, basically we have no bound, so I don’t have to give you any explaination…” She spits, copying the words I once told her and heads outside, slaming the front door.

Just then, Luna comes from the kitchen with a puzzled look on her face. She then looks at me and smiles. “I thought you had left without saying a word!”

“What? How would I ever do that to you?! It was Ámbar who just left…”

“Oh… Yeah, she does it everyday… She is either outside or locked in her room…”

“I guess she is feeling the consequences of everything she has done… I told her winning the Roda Fest meant nothing. Not when she lost everyone in the process… You know what, I don’t want to talk about her! Where’s the popcorn?”

“Oh Simón, the popcorn!” Luna exclaims and runs to the kitchen. I shake my head laughing. Her real name might be Sol, but there’s no better name for her than Luna. She does live on the moon!

Mr. Alfredo shows up on the stairs, holding a black box in his hands.

“Simón it’s good to see you have waited for me! Where is my granddaughter?”

“She forgot the popcorn, again, and just ran to the kitchen. May be I should go check out just how serious the damage is!”

“Oh, Luna… I wonder where she got that distraction from… Not from me of course, I always know where my head is!” He plays, winking. Luna was sure just like her grandfather. If they were left all alone I don’t know what would happen, but it sure would involve some unpleasant events.

After rescuing Luna in the kitchen (fortunately she acted before anything happened), we settle on the living room. Mr. Alfredo already has his chair reserved, and I sit next to Luna on one of the bigs couches, her legs on my lap.

 “What are we watching, granpa?”

He opens the box and takes an old cassette (something I haven’t seen since I was a kid). Of course we were watching something from last decade…

“Well, my dearest Luna, I actually don’t know. There aren’t many movies around this house. I looked everywhere but it seems like my daughter wasn’t a fan of the seventh art. However, I was able to find an old box with several of these cassettes. How I love these! So I am sure it must be a good movie! Everything that is old is amazing, just like myself!”

We both laugh as Mr. Alfredo prepares the movie. The living room had a big TV, bigger than any I had ever seen, it was modern but it looked like it had little to no use, since Luna and I spend a whole morning (my kind of mornings) installing what was needed to actually watch anything there. But, nonetheless, there were other old devices on the tv table, one of which was a cassette reader.

Everyone is on their places when the movie starts. A date shows up: 22/07/2007. Well, it wasn’t as antique as I though, but still I was 9 back then. The first moments of the movie are strange, the only thing is a cement path and a garden on the sides, no people or voices, just a fixed image. The scenery looks familiar, but I can’t make sense of it.

“Isn’t that the Buenos Aires mansion?” Luna asks but before anyone can say a word, her question is answered.

“Are you going to show me anything or not? I don’t have time to waste and you know this sun makes my head hurt…” Ms. Sharon’s voice is heard talking.

A few seconds later, a blonde little girl shows up at the beginning of the path. She has her roller skates on and a confident posture. Ámbar. She starts skating, not simple skating, giving a show actually, putting her personality and own moves to it. So little and yet so good, obviously she had a natural talent. She skates in reverse to the begging of the path and takes a deep breath, clearly preparing for something. Mini Ámbar starts skating again and jumps, making a perfect rotation in the air but failing the landing, which causes her to fall on the ground and scratch her knee. She quickly gets up without saying a word.

“Seriously, Ámbar? This was what you had to show me? What you wanted me to film? I already told you I expect nothing from you but perfection. If you can’t get something right, don’t show me. I don’t want to see failure. Or something basic. And don’t even think about crying. If you can’t skate, then don’t. If you want to take this seriously, then you can continue, but if it’s only a childish game, this ends now. You need to focus on what is important… I was told you arrived late at your French class and didn’t get every answer right. Is that how you expect to get in the Paris University? Oh Ámbar, you have so much to learn… Now get changed. You have to get back to your studies.” Sharon criticizes the little girl in front of her, who doesn’t move an inch all the while. The video is over just like that and no one speaks a word.

Everyone is absorbing the fact that an 8-year-old Ámbar, looking so happy and free while skating, was called down for not landing perfectly a move that’s clearly advanced for someone her age and for having fun. How instead of motivation words, only critics were uttered and how a kid was told she had to worry about college, not having time to play.

Mr. Alfredo sighs. “My daughter… This is what I talk about. She corrupted Ámbar. She made her who she is. My poor girl… I should have been here to avoid this and all the evil she has done… To you too Luna.”

“It’s not your fault, granpa…”

“Oh it is Luna… I am to blame for who Sharon is… I didn’t give her the attention she needed, she was resentful and became someone with a cold heart. And then, she took it on others, even on her own daughter, who she was never able to assume to the world… I wonder why she even adopted her… What did she want with this?”

“You can’t blame yourself! People make their own choices! But look at the good side, Ámbar continued skating and she is amazing! She was given the opportunity to go to a really good school, where she, again, is amazing!”

“Yes, yes… Luna you are right! But look at what cost… This is just a bit of how she grew… I don’t even know a third of it… However, I can see it affected her, oh if it did… How can someone raised by Sharon be good-hearted? It’s impossible! And now that Ámbar doesn’t have Sharon, I thought she would be better, that she would make her own decisions, be her own and truer self, but it actually made her worse…”

 Everyone gets quiet again, probably lost on their own thoughts… I can’t take the image of that pair of blue eyes, filled with tears, but none shed. She was so little, so fragile, all she needed were words of consolation, of pride for what she had been able to do and not hurtful words about what she wasn’t. Ámbar might have grown with everything, but the most important, which was not material, was love. I know I had lots of that, I know Luna has had it too, but what about Ámbar? I guess I was right when I told her she wasn’t able to love because she was full of hate. But, now, now I understand part of it wasn’t her fault. And somehow, knowing and seeing what I just saw now, made my own hate for her diminish, being replaced by an extreme urge to hug her and tell her she didn’t have to be perfect all the time, the only thing she had to be was happy.

 Luna gets up and hugs her grandfather. “You know, granpa, I think what Ámbar needs is love. So if she sees she has that, may be who knows she can change. We are here to help her. Right?”

“Oh my Luna, you are too good for this world. Yes, we will help Ámbar! But we have to make it subtle or she will close even more…”

Luna nods and then starts forming a plan. I can’t really focus on what they are saying. The only thing I can think are two images of Ámbar on the verge of crying. One when she was 8 and the other when she asked me to stay by her side but I didn’t.

[pamithatheyn]

so greg showed up in the SG discord yesteday and answered a bunch of questions, so i decided to compile them into one post and post it on tumblr! i hope i didnt miss anything

long post and major pyre spoilers under the cut!

“I don't like to pick favorites among the cast since they're all my babies really but Volfred was vital to me and I'm glad he turned out OK for you. One of my favorite characters I've had a chance to write. I feel like 100% of the time that guy A) betrays you or B) dies, and I was like... no.”

greg said the original nightwings (brighton, erisa, human oralech) were never designed visually, and one of the last details they managed to squeeze in where their portraits.

i asked if this was the case for moira and he said that’s one of the moments he didnt want to tooltip the name as to not overburden the moment with more information, and that they tried tooltipping some terms but sometimes it just felt worse, like with howlers. (i assume harp talons were also not tooltipped for this reason)

erisa was branded for her patricide, and the brand is under her headband. when i pointed out hedwyn has a headband too greg just said “He sure does! I thought about scenes where he might remove it but those never happened.” the implication is that branding is reserved for particularly heinous crimes, but so is exile, mostly.

“Erisa would have been considered a nomad at least up until her crime; I think she would have then been branded 'evil' as opposed to mentally ill in some way.”

greg said that hes glad the option for a gender neutral reader made a difference, and that it felt important to establish that in the world of the game you are accepted as you are, since the player character more directly represents the player than in bastion or transistor.

“I'm super interested in this idea of 'voice vs. action' I think, looking back at the stories of our games. The sliding scale of 'all talk' and 'all action' and how different people fit on that…”

you dont have the option to not be a revolutionary, but can still resist against that idea by throwing all your matches.

lendels nomad teammates are replaced by demons at some point and the implication is they became them. they have similar names before and after (vispa/vispaleth and darben/darbenfor)

most of the demons we see most likely changed their name: ‘ignarius dropped his given name as is sometimes the custom’

“The exact mechanics of the Archjustice's ability to communicate with you aren't fully revealed/explained but presumably he has some ability to hear what's happening. It's implied that the raiments and books are important to that process.”

the crones ghost antlers are meant to be suggestive of their power and connection to mystical arts.

“Yeah I've seen some criticism that there's no 'Commonwealth stays in power' version of the ending but to me that would have seemed disingenuous to the rest of the story, really. It's the end of an age, and the Commonwealth's time is up -- just a question of how.”

humans have a shorter life expectancy than harps, and for some reasons are the only ones who turn into demons.

about how harps do stuff, they use their feet where it isnt too weird or else swoop things around, but “Jen is resistant to being locked into real-world logic / physics / etc. when designing characters.”

the choice to shave or keep rukeys mustache came from members of the team arguing about whether he should have it or not. its one of the oldest survivng scenes in the story. greg likes the mustache and thinks he looks plain without it and that it helps his personality immediately come across.

one of the tempers team members is yowlson, who shares a name with rukeys uncle. whether its a common cur name or actually his uncle is up to the player to decide.

“consil ta videas” means “until we are free” and is first said by hedwyn and jodi after the first rite vs the accusers.

the highwing remnants are implied to be a matriarchal society thats few in numbers now.

about where oralech got his raiments and sigil, “For the raiments, he did fall... maybe he turned his inside-out? For the sigil, maybe he had it fashioned, or found it at the base of the mountain, even. It's not clear where those came from originally. Consider this speculation rather than canon.”

the ambiguity of celeste and tariqs designs is on purpose, and theyre meant to feel like maybe they arent exactly human.

greg prefers not to answer to what extent tariq and celeste are human. “I think it's way better for someone to think 'they're like angels' and someone else to think 'they're the sun and the moon' and someone else to think 'they're sort of like elves' or whatever else than for there to be a correct answer and for those people to be wrong.”

“I think the songs are meant to feel in-world, but it's less clear with something like Thrash Pack. We liked including the minstrel versions of those tracks to give them a clearer in-world counterpart.”

its implied that the archjustice is connected to the nightwings specifically, and that the other triumvirates may have their own patrons but it isnt made clear.

not all triumvirates have access to all raiments, like the pyrehearts who are implied to be wyrm-only.

sandra can address the others directly during their trials, but its implied the beyonder crystal is only for the reader to mess with.

greg considers falcon ron being The Most Annoying Character Ever as a mission accomplished :D

the library at the end is suggested to be the restored library in the sahrian union, after the laws banning literacy were repealed.

about the literacy ban, “They would have probably been pretty intense about it. Turn in your books / printed materials. Signs taken down, etc., all by a certain date. I think they would have promoted the change of law pretty effectively.”

the ban started several centuries after the commonwealth formed and after the stamping press was invented. volfred was very young in sap terms when it happened. “There's a reference to Archjustice Androbeles IV (as opposed to IX), whose tooltip reads, 'The grand judge who, in 617 A.S., issued a decree prohibiting literacy, in answer to growing unrest.'”

“Just because something is banned / illegal doesn't mean ruling powers don't have access to it.”

hedwyn is pretty critical of food options in the downside, and likes cooking more than he likes one dish in particular. “He's this accomodating guy. I think for him the pleasure is in finding the right dish for the right guest.”

demonification starts to reverse after liberation after a few months/years as opposed to the decade or so it takes to start. and “you would have to be pretty tough to become a demon, just by virtue of living/suriviving in that environment long enough for it to happen. Then it makes you even tougher.”

it was essential to the game that the rites would be nonlethal in nature, and that the players could pick themselves up after defeat and have to deal with the loss. erisas story was important to establishing what would happen if violence did erupt.

“Erisa was likely straight-up stronger than Oralech. Blacksmith's daughter vs. doctor, I'd bet on the blacksmith. And, sounds like it was a cheap shot anyway. Oralech had his back turned or something like that.”

“Tariq seems pretty inconspicuous but likely you don't live that long in the Downside if you can't take care of yourself. Not to say he goes punching people out when you're not looking....”

greg avoided having characters that were too hard to write because he couldnt really afford to get stuck on anybody, but the one he ended up revising the most towards the end was pamitha. not in any major way but balancing her aloofness was important. there were some versions of pamitha that were a mix of aloof and vulnerable that made players not care for her or get what shes about.

greg likes the versions of the ending where you lose to oralech but accept his mercy (or vice versa), and versions where both oralech and volfred are liberated, though theyre “difficult to achieve”.

about the option to manipulate oralech, “Yeah, I don't have data on this but suspect very few players go that route... I like that it's there, though, to let you do one final desperate act if that's where your instincts or curiousity leads you. You even have the option to back out of it if you do choose it.”

its implied that demons cant have children.

i jokingly asked a bastion question about Why Are Lunkheads So Fucking Scary to which greg replied “A frog wearing a stone helmet is inherently scary. That fast, shallow jump.... You know, a real reason might be that their jump isn't on a specific timing, i.e. there's some variance. So they're inherently a bit unpredictable, which probably makes them scarier / more disconcerting.”

[mattiassamuelsson]

I hope the "terrible captain" comment wasn't toward me. (The anon who messaged you twice yesteday.) I never meant to insinuated that he wasn't a good choice. I simply wanted your thoughts. No need to respond to this. Just wanted to be clear in case you thought I wasn't okay with him having the "C".

oh no not at all. that’s an old gifset from the end of last season when olofsson was first called up. i just reblogged from myself bc i was scrolling back thru my blog earlier and found it fitting for today.

it’s supposed to be sarcasm but i neglected to use sarcasm font in the heat of the moment when i was posting it so... it comes across as a legit comment unfortunately lol.

[strawberryspeachy]

So far on the boys ive talked to in japan - aside that teacher

1) around september i decided to look at whose on tinder. One boy i matched with talked to me and didn’t stop responding upon finding out i was not japanese. He helped me with a couple japanese phrases - telling me what sounded most natural. Asked me if i lived alone. Said he wanted to meet me.... asked if i was free that week. I said yes. I gave him a couple days that i was off. He never responded again - that was about 5-6~ days into talking

2) october i went to a club... after a disappointing night i talked to the cute ... not bar person but like he was on the floor. I thought he’d walk away but he got all happy and kept moving close to me to talk. It being too loud combined with my poor japanese and his no english meant we used google translate to talk mostly. Added each other on instagram and he said he’d like to hang out sometime. I asked about a few days and he pulled out his calendar and both were days he worked- he had two jobs. He said we’ll figure out a time later. We had some conversations on instagram. Then after a couple weeks his stories always showed him with friends. I asked him a couple times when he was free and he said he was working all the time. After another weekish of that i said it seemed that he had time to see his friends but not me. And he basically just said yep

3) december i got back on tinder. But for real. Not just a qick swipe through. Talked to the next guy with a bunch of other dudes. Was just talking. Trying to improve my english. Hoping someone would ask me to go eat with them since that is what id written on my profile. This boy asked me to hang out. We’d talked more and more over the two weeks and he said he really wanted to see me. But he couldnt cause he was working too much. Then he told me when he has a break. I had the flu at the same time and told him id tell him when i was better and he got sweeter and sweeter toward me. Then we talked on the phone and it was awkward and difficult cause my japanese not being great is even worse when i cant gesture. But it went well. Then. Suddenly. Over text the tinder boy - lets have sex! - bs came up. I said i didnt want to the first time we meet and i wanna just talk. He asked a couple more times about it and then agreed. The day before we talked on the phone again - he suddenly said he had to take another call and hung up and then didnt say anything else the rest of the night. I freaked out a bit that night thinking hed stopped talking to me. But the next morning he messaged me like nothing happened. Didnt even want to acknowledge my freak out aside from telling me not to think so much.

We met up. He took me to a shrine. We got fortunes and ties them to a tree... then he took me to his apartment... fast... he said he wanted to watch movies together.... bought... chocolate. I mean great but i wanted real food i was hungry. Then. He kept trying to have sex with me. So many times just pushed and pushed. Would not take no for an answer. Finally when... he was trying to take off more of my clothes and i wouldnt let him and said no again. He asked if i had my period. And only stopped after i said i did. Kept trying to pursuade me to give him a blowjob.

Before that... he asked me to be his girlfriend. Said he was moving soon and asked me to move in with him. Told me hed be workig two jobs for the rest of january so we couldnt meet again till February...

Anyhow after i kept saying no to a blow job and other stuff happened i asked him if we could go get food. He said he didnt have money and cooked bad ramen on the stove and french fries... he drank a bunch of alcoholic. We watched some music videos and he went to sleep.

When he kinda seemed to wake up i tried to make a point of me leaving. He just acted kinda annoyed that he had to even still deal with me being there at that point and ignored me while trying to sleep... he ghosted me right in front of me

He replied to my text the next day with some nonsense and about a week later he told me about his apartment plans. He sent one last text about it before... never responding again

I let it be for the next four weeks... till the days he was supposededly done working two jobs and couls see me again. Hed made story postings during this time

But yea. Never replied to me again

4) some boy who wanted to get better at english cause hes moving to the us. We talked on the phone a couple times near christmas. He complained about not having a gf and said he wanted to hang out. But the times i asked he was “busy”. We hung out once... played darts. He said he didnt want to drink cause he drank the night before and he ate before meeting me so left early.... said next time. There was never a next time.

5) some guy i talked to a bit. He asked to meet up. I agreed. Took a whole for us to find each other cause he kept...... hanging up the phone on me.... he didnt look like his pic and he dressed weird. He basically hailed me over when he found me and then walked fast so that i basically had to chase him around. He was one of those dudes that walks with his hands out like people are supposed to move for him. After about 20 minutes of that he told me to wait while he pretended to get a call and then told me his dog is sick and he needed to leave to take her to the hospital. He said well meet again. Never saw him again not that i wanted too.

6) talked to another boy for a couple weeks. Just about fun stuff it was good conversation. We talked about music and movies and murder mystery parties. About our days and just generally the kind of good conversation you have with friends. Around the third week we talked about meeting... but. Then. Tinderboy - i wanna have sex! Came into the convo... i told him i had my period and asked if we could go out to drink instead. He said lets drink before we do next week. Whatever. Next week comes around. Same good conversation everyday. The day of comes and he responded to me in the morning reconfirming the time and place and stuff. Once the time to meet rolled around. No response. I called him a couple times more so to bitch him out. He blocked me.

7) some other dude. We talked a bit. He asked me to go out to eat. Post poned 3 times that night cause he was working later than he was supposed to. I was so hungry. No he didn’t wanna go out to eat. Bought me some convience store food and barely let me finish eating before hooking up... he said thanks to my happy birthday message. But otherwise we havent talked again. Even though hes a ten minute walk away.

8) then of course theres the absolutely adorable boy who took me out on the date of my dreams.... until he silently walked me the train station. Said bye. And now has slowly ghosted me all week. He just unmatched me on tinder after i asked about it so. Guess he’s gone. Which has me feeling fucking terrible.

9) talked to a guy a couple days ago. He asked if i wanted to hook up. I basically agreed. I WANTED HUMAN CONTACT ON VALENTINES DAY. He told me beforehand he was only free for a couple hours. Asked if i wanted him to pick me up the night before buttttt i got my hair treated and shouldnt sweat so i said it was too late and i needed to sleep. He met me. Late. At the station and walked me back yo his apartment after i was done work. One of my students saw me with him... embarrassing. We talked a lot. Hes the oldest guy ive ever... anything. Though still just 29. It would have been a good conversation if... i didnt know he asked me to come have sex and then never made a move. An hour and a half in he suddenly went

Oh its the time! Sorry go. I should have agreed to his request for yesteday instead of insisting on friday.

Ive been freaking out about 8 and i messaged him asking if he lost interest in me. He never responded to my message asking if he wanted to hookup yesterday. He didnt respond for 20 minutes and then i said either say yes or no so im not waiting. And he almost immediately responded with no. So. Idk.

10) talked to some dude from hong kong yesteday. He messaged me first saying he doesnt like japan and just came for the food. Ive been crying all day and basically hust bitched about japan to him. Apparently he doesnt actually dislike japan... he just doesnt like the bidets.... and i told him my home life sucks so im here but here sucks too so wtf. Ya know. Things that are totally attractive go someone you started talking to a half an hour ago. He said he wanted to talk about food. Im good at food talk ok. Then asked if i wantrd to meet up and look for cake with him. Sure. Shinjuku. The same placd i met 5 and 3. Thought id break the- everytime i come to this city im depressed. Cause before them the last time i went to shinjuku in the summer. I couldnt find the clothes shops i was looking for. There were couples all around me. And it was the first day in japan i felt so utterly and truely miserable and alone and like nothing in my life was better. I was still hoping at that point that the teacher i worked with would go with me and show me around and i left thinking next time i go itll be better cause i wont be alone.

Well shinjuku appears to be bad luck for me. I got stressed trying to find this boy and sounded like it over the phone. But he still met up with me. I brought him some snacks from the baskery near me on my way. We talked. He speaks english. But he just asked about my job... how do you get it. Is it hard. Whats its pay.

I walked past a cake shop on my way to meet him and i showed him the cakes he said he really wanted. He said he didnt bring much cash so he didnt want it.... k i thought that was the point of this trip but whatever. He asked me if i was hungry three times. I said i ate before coming because normally when i meet people we dont eat and i go hunry. I left out the YOU SAID YOU WANTED CAKE!!! Part. He said he was hungry but didnt want me to not eat while he did. So i told him to find a place with desert and ill eat desert while he eats a meal. Were walking. This is about 25 minutes in and he starts to complain his legs hurt and that hes tired. Another 10 minutes pass and he complains more about how he feels like hes floating and his shoes dont fit. I see mcdonals and say i know this is lame but ive kinda been craving a big mac. Its fine if not cause ya know your visiting japan but would you want mcdonals. He jokes about it and then goes yea i could go for a bigmac. We get in the store and he tells me to go. And i tell him to go ahead first. Then he says no he feels sick and doesnt want to eat.... tells me to eat... the exact situation he didnt want earlier

Hm. Gee. I wonder whats coming. I say i only wanted to eat cause he said he was hungry. We leave and then he says maybe its tmi but - proceeds to tell me about being constipated. I didnt try to listen. Btw he was 6’4 and kinda difficult to hear if i didnt try. I wrap that up with. Yea i think that was a tmi story but good for you. Cause the gist of it was that he could shit now.

Then. You know its coming. He says hes gonna go home. I stop acting happy. I told myself the next time this happened id confront them.

We met up at 7 and it was now like 7:50. My train is 10 bucks round trip.

But. I couldn’t think of anything to say.

All i could say after a while of kinda just going silent was - whyd you ask me to meet if you were so tired.

And he aaid cauae walking around japan alone isnt fun. Yeah mean i know. I said that to you over text earlier.

I asked him if i dont look like my pic. He says i look exactly like my pic.

I say a few times before ive met up with guys and we never talk again. And he goes - well youre meeting strangers and sometimes it just doesnt click

He unmatchd me the moment he got on his train. I imagine were still friends on snapchat cause he probably deleted it since he redownloaded it to talk to me

So yea. Same experiences as back home because im me and i will always be cursed and miserable. I dont wanna sleep cause im waiting to see when that boy in 8 will block me on line... cause i sent alot of messages. It doesnt help me to know when.... but.... ya... idk. Someone shoot me please

[kaimacosmetics-blog]

Repost from @meld_makeup using @RepostRegramApp - 😈BAD GIRL😈 I’m so sorry about not posting yesteday! But today you will get 2 posts as I was meant to post everyday and it would only be fair as I did not post yesterday ❤️ This was meant to be a dead bride look but it turned into - I don’t know what this turned out to be it was meant to be a dead bride look but now looking at it it looks like a ‘bad girl’ look or like it was inspired from Harley Quinn 🤣I Definatly want to create a dead bride look soon as I love the concept - I will try and gather some time on Thursday or Friday and create! Photography @life_myjourney Model @nataliaa__nailss USING @kaima_cosmetics_ Foiled shadow in Glow up on the inner corner and brow bone and Loose Glitter in Crimson C on the lid (swipe to the third photo) ❗️USE CODE milenavip FOR 20% OFF AT KAIMACOSMETICS.COM❗️ Other than that I used face paints and grey eyeshadow for the bruising and @clinique Foundation in alabaster! #halloweencostume #kaimacosmetics #halloweenmakeup #halloween #halloweencostumes #halloweenmakeupideas #halloweenideas #muafollowtrain #muasfeaturing #mua_underdogs #undiscoveredmua #makeuptutorial #makeuptransformation #makeupideas #makeupinspiration #makeupinspo #makeupgoals #makeupvideo #makeuponfleek https://www.instagram.com/p/BpWadl3lPJH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=136z58bl4f48x