#Mayuri Beloved

[outlanderalien]

Soul Society: [on fire]

Mayuri + Urahara doing science exposition in the glowing lab:

[strawberrystepmom]

im feeling so nasty today let me go rb the mayuri fic

[gallusrostromegalus]

Who has the best relationship with their zanpakutou? Who has the worst? Does anyone have a Beyond Friendship relationship? As in not only romantic or sexual, but something more sibling-like, or perhaps parental in either direction?

Hmmm... I wouldn't have a "best" relationship because there's many, many ways to do a relationship right, but definitely the worst is Mayuri, because Jizo is his parole officer that he kidnapped when he broke out of Hell and BOY HOWDY DOES THAT COME TO BITE HIM IN THE ASS.

As for "beyond friendship", most of them are in the sense that once you've fought and nearly died with someone by your side, "friends" is quite the right description. But to cite a few examples:

Yamamoto and Ryujin Jakka straddle the line between D&D warlock, and D&D paladin - Ryujin chose Yamamoto, amd for a long, long time Yamamoto did not understand WHY. Things got better and worse when he finally grokked why the spirit of change wanted to be wielded by the guy to whom the responsibility of founding civilization.

Rangiku Matsumoto is a strange and very private woman despite the act she puts on, and Haineko is one of exactly two people in the whole world who really understands her. On the other hand, nobody can piss you off quite like someone who really, truly knows you.

Probably the closest relationship is between Unohana and Minazuki. They've been partners for over a millennium, they laid waste to many enemies together, nearly died together several times, went to medical school together and even shared lovers. Where Unohana's soul ends and Minazuki's begins is... Unclear. There are days when they wake up and it's Minazuki weilding their body and Unohana in the scabbard, as it were. This is largely a non-issue; Minazuki is a doctor too.

Hyorinmaru is practically the Deuteronomy of zanpaktou- he's an ancient sword who has had many wielders. It's a lot of pressure for Toshiro, but hyorinmaru also has a lot of practice at this, and the relationship between them is not unlike a doting grandfather and his beloved and dutiful grandson.

Suzembachi is Soi Fon's Emotional Support Giant Murder Hornet and BY GOD the girl needs all the help she can get.

It took FOREVER to figure out what the hell was going on with Kenpachi, because while theoretically possible, it hadn't actually happened before- Zaraki Kenpachi is a Tsukumogami that died in the living world, and reincarnated as a human in spirit world.

SPECIFICALLY, he was a Holy Sword that had been around for 500 years* seen much battle and developed a revered soul before [REDACTED] and he asked to be ritually destroyed. He reincarnated in the spirit world in the best of one of the Great Eagles, but fortunately for him, all birds are a little bit stupid even if they're also technically Gods, and since the infant was the same size, shape and furiously screaming as he chicks, She Who Rules The Sky decided to just start shoving meat into his mouth too. Sometime after he grew up and his sisters had fleged, he left the nest to travel and hang out with his fellow humans, and eventually decided to give himself a name and raise a daughter, as humans do. They wandered around for many years as humans do, until circumstances resulted in his violent arrival to the court guard.

While off, none of this specifically worried Yamamoto until hyorinmaru was talking to him one day.

"...what do you think Zaraki is becoming?" The dragon asked him one afternoon while they watched Toshiro practice spar with Sasikibe.

"Becoming?" Yamamoto shrugged. "With the damn central 46 banning him from learning Kendo, he's becoming a Damn Nuisance."

Hyorinmaru sighs, a noise like a dam threatening to fail. "You did not notice? Zaraki has spent 500 years as a sword, 500 as an eagle or suchlike beast, and after he named himself and Yachiru, he spent 500 years as a man. And THEN he turned up here."

"I suppose, what of it?" Yamamoto shrugged, watching Toshiro's footing.

"With all due respect to the wielder of fire, when I was a worm, I spent 500 years on land, and then 500 years at sea, and then *I* became a DRAGON, sir." Hyorinmaru explained.

Yamamoto did not actually move, but he was no longer watching the boy.

"-with 500 years each as object, animal and man, Kenpachi surely has become SOMETHING. What is running lose through your court guard, I wonder?"

[unohanadaydreams]

If captains were days of the week, which ones do you think they’d be?

This is so up my alley tbh.....hyper specific and weird headcanons, my beloved.

Monday:

Byakuya Kuchiki. He is the master of viewing every day as just another day. While lesser men are oozing into work with their brain cells still marinating in last night's sake bender, he is hours deep into the kind of paperwork that dries out your retinas on contact. Also I think he gets bored without work (and prefers Gotei 13 work to the Noble shenanigans he has to face raw on the weekends). He's just that kind of guy.

Tuesday:

Toshiro Hitsugaya. With a lieutenant like Rangiku to wrangle into the week, he only hits his stride after he's successfully hunted her down and ensured the weekly planner is in her room, in her hands, on her favorite couch, and tucked into her obi. Which naturally eats up a lot of his Monday. His daily nap is extra satisfying on Tuesdays, too.

Wednesday:

Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Not only has he been able to measure out where both the 12th division and R&D are on the various juggling acts constantly at work, but now he gets to see how well they keep those projects flying (and bitch when they don't do so well <3). Also, I'd like to think this is the day they publish the new scientific studies & dissertations in the Seireitei and he gets to spend the rest of the week picking them apart (or admiring his work).

Thursday:

Shunsui Kyoraku. Shunsui loves a good game. I think the suspense of 'can I make it till the end of the week and successfully avoid the majority of my responsibilities yet again' is part of his joy in doing it. Also Nanao hasn't gone full nuclear yet, which she will when Friday hits and she doesn't have the minimum amount of paperwork that absolutely must be notarized over the weekend or the Gotei 13 will let something or other lapse that Shunsui doesn't think is that important, honestly.

Friday:

Tetsuzemon Iba. He has spiritually checked out this entire day because he's using it to fine tune the particulars of the next Men's Association Meeting & plan what details he's going to be leaving out when he gives his weekly visit to Komamura. Obviously he needs to ensure his captaincy is viewed in the best light. And also run his MA game plans by a willing ear.

Saturday:

Kensei Muguruma. The entire week is being sloughed away with every meal he preps in his expensive living world kitchen that he held Urahara at fist point to transfer over free of charge. There's not lieutenant bragging about getting fleeced over a guitar case. There's no editing nightmare that takes two straight days to untangle because two offices can't fucking communicate. It's just him and the food talking.

Sunday:

Isane Kotetsu. Her only day off. She swears she's not going to take over someone's shift on Saturday like the last week or the week before that, but she folds every time. She's starting to think she's developing a complex. Turning in a to a workaholic or something. She and Nanao are starting to relate a bit too much on how many hours they clock each week.

But then Sunday shines down upon her, a beautiful ray of freedom. She even refuses to heal her sister when Kiyone inevitably gets some minor wound or scrape from all her unfocused hyperactivity. But does promise to book her an appointment for the next day.

[criminal-sen]

Nine people you'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @necruwumancy ty<3<3<3 i love doing stuff like this lol

Last song i listened to: Good Luck Out There by The Flashbulb

Favorite color: blue, purple and pink are constantly struggling for #1 spot - artwise, purple and pink are my Beloveds. but for clothes i have more blue stuff ig

Currently watching: Umineko (via livestreams by NezumiVA)

Sweet/savory/spicy: spicy>:3

Relationship status: in an open relationship with uhhh basically the coolest person on the planet, and not constantly talking about them on here is a Feat

Current obsession: Mayuri Kurotsuchi always and forever<3 but Umineko (especially Beatrice) is also taking up brain space lately, I just love evil little skrungles who do A Sadism, what can I say>:3c

Great so here's the part where my fried brain tries to come up with nine urls on the spot. uhhhh (and seriously dw about doing this unless u feel like it) @purezentomaiku @w1cked-w1tch @snurtle @archvillain @feralthembo @seeveekat @thefearfulheart @twinktosterone @foxytonic

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

(Masterpost)

Rules: - Vote for one of these two characters based on who you personally think should win. It can be anything from "I follow aseriesofunfortunatejan and she talks about this character way more" to "I know this guy and not the other guy" passing by "who are these? This one's hotter" and of course "holy shit this is ALSO my blorbo" - You may reblog this poll and you may even talk about why you voted for who you voted! - You may NOT complain about the other character if you dislike them! These characters are all the poll runner's beloveds and the goal of this tournament is to have fun, be silly, be nice, eat hot chip.

Introductions and propaganda (under the cut):

Mayuri Shiina! Is so important! If you know about Steins;Gate, then you definitely know that. She was the first character I cosplayed and my relationship to cosplaying her remains very important to me. Something in me relates to her writing as an aloof girl, and I enjoy her pivotal role in the story. [Silly rant in her defence from Round 1 removed.] Anyway my cosplay Instagram is themed around her

Yoshikage Kira, specifically the one from Jojolion, because as much as well-meaning recommendation algorithms can't tell the difference, I can - is ONE OF my most recent blorbo on this list. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with him, I was honestly surprised when it happened. He's like if a good guy were a bad guy but a good guy. For some reason I often dream about him too. I wish I could draw him

These are both characters who haunt the narrative... like, actually, right?

[n3on-graveston3s-calling]

Redemption

[ A Bleach fanfiction ] Word Count: 4,774 Rating: G Characters: Urahara Kisuke, Hirako Shinji, Yoruichi Shihoin, Shunsui Kyouraku Relationships: Mentioned Kisuke/Shinji Author's Note: An older piece, but still one of my favorites. A bit of a what-if scenario, in which Mayuri gave his life during the war to save Nemu, leaving the Twelfth without a Captain. Who better to take over the mantle than the former disgraced captain himself, Urahara Kisuke?

You can’t have peace without a war, that’s how the saying goes. It spoke true; the Seireitei, while in shambles, was calm. Peaceful. The sound of hammering in the distance, of laughter and voices calling out to one another. Rebuilding, slowly but surely- with the aid of Shinigami and civilians alike- and the occasional Arrancar. The dead were still being retrieved from the various fields on which battles took place. Last time the toll had been released, they were well into the hundreds. A devastating blow to them all- on both sides.

It was difficult; so many young Shinigami had been killed, but so had many young Quincy. Too many, truthfully. Some of their own Captains had been casualties of the war: Head Captain Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto had been one of the first to be slaughtered before their very eyes. Aside from him, the entire first division had been killed- all one hundred and six members, in the very beginning of the war. Following this had been Fourth Division Captain, Retsu Unohana- all for the sake of getting Zaraki Kenpachi to learn the true name of his sword and release his bankai, something that had nearly killed him. Their beloved Thirteenth Division Captain, Jushiro Ukitake had been killed somehow. Very few knew the truth of the matter-

That he had become the new Soul King. That, since birth, he’d been doomed to take over when the time came. A ticking time bomb, of sorts. But to the rest of Soul Society, he’d been another casualty of war.

Many others had nearly died; Captain of the Third Division, Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō, Captain of the Ninth Division, Muguruma Kensei, and both the Captain and Lieutenant of the Tenth Division, Tōshirō Hitsugaya and Rangiku Matsumoto, had all become members of the living dead due to the the Sternritter Giselle Gewelle’s ability. Captain of the Sixth Division, Byakuya Kuchiki, had nearly been slaughtered by the Sternritter Äs Nödt. For all intents and purposes, the Lieutenant of the Third Division was dead, and yet he still walked: Izuru Kira, who lost not just an arm, but a lung and portions of other organs after having a hole shot through his torso. Their new Captain Commander, Kyōraku Shunsui, had lost his left eye and part of his left ear, as well as having a hole shot through his sternum, nearly killing him.

Others had been injured just as grievously. But that was what war did. It took and it took and it took until there wasn’t anything left to take. War was greedy.

One other had been taken from their ranks. Mayuri Kurotsuchi, the Captain of the Twelfth Division, had been killed during the battle. Details were still coming in, but from what was known, he’d sacrificed himself in the final moments to save his greatest creation, Nemu Kurotsuchi, his artificially created daughter. It seems that even the coldest and most detached of people could, in the end, redeem themselves and save those who they held closest to their hearts. It was certainly interesting to hear.

After all, when Urahara Kisuke had been Captain of the Twelfth, Mayuri had been a right bastard to deal with. He could still remember that day he pulled him out of the Maggot’s Nest, and the following years. How they had worked well together, even if the bickering was nearly constant, as well outright insubordination.

Many would grieve in silence for those that had been lost. The Fourth Division was busy; Isane Kotetsu was now the defacto Captain. She was young, but strong, resilient. She would survive.

Somewhere within the Division sat Rose and Kensei, sharing a room. Izuru Kira had his own room- something that was necessary, given the extent of his injuries. Kuchiki Byakuya was being treated at the Kuchiki Mansion; Kyōraku Shunsui, at the Kyōraku Mansion. Somewhere below them, Aizen sat, chained back up.

Kisuke sat in the bed, studying the way dust danced within the sun’s rays that spilled through his window. He wasn’t injured, not really; Benihime had made sure that her master would be pieced back together completely. All that was left of her work were the thin, surgical stitches that stretched down his face, across his knuckles, over his joints. They didn’t hurt. At least, he didn’t think they did. If there was pain, he was numb to it.

He supposed he owed his thanks to Grimmjow for saving him. He’d thank him later. Right now, the Pantera was hunting for a certain Shark that sat within one of the many, many cells beneath Soul Society. He was accompanied by a Ram and a Wolf. He could thank Mayuri for saving the Wolf.

Coyote Starrk had been a savior. A sharp shooter and a hidden weapon in Hueco Mundo.

There was also Kurosaki Ichigo. That kid deserved all of their thanks, and more. Without him, they’d all be dead. He couldn’t help but wonder where he was, right now. Back home in Karakura Town? Or here, lingering with those he’d fought beside?

Slate hues closed, listening to the hammering and calling. To the sound of laughter and weeping. Of birdsong and creeping silence. He was tired. More so than he’d ever been in his life.

But now was not the time to rest, not with the figure lingering outside of his door. Five minutes, Shinji had been standing there, reaching for the door and dropping his hand, only to reach again. A sigh escaped Kisuke as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. “Come in, already!” He called, amusement shining in his words.

The door opened, and the blonde made his appearance at last. “Didn’t wanna disturb yer beauty rest, your highness,” he teased, lips quirking up in a crooked smile.

Kisuke could remember the first time he’d seen that smile. “I think I’ve had enough beauty rest to last a lifetime,” as if to prove a point, he stretched his arms up over his head, listening as various bones popped and creaked, as if singing a song of rest. “You aren’t here to give me the latest gossip, are you, Hirako-san?”

A shake of the head. “I wish I were,” Shinji sighed, closing the door behind himself as if that would give them any privacy. It wouldn’t, but it was certainly the thought that counted. “We were called in for an emergency meeting. Y’know how… Bad everything is right now.”

“You’re down three captains, and the new Captain Commander is on mandatory bed rest.” Kisuke answered with a shake of the head. “You’re fucked.”

“And not in the fun way.” Arms crossing over his chest, Shinji grimaced. He was still in pain, too, it seemed. Not surprising; he’d taken quite the beating as well, from what he’d heard. “I have a question to ask you.”

“No, the Soul Society will not get a discount on any products they purchase at the Urahara Shoten.” A joke, though it seemed to fall flat. “... What is it?”

“You know Kurotsuchi-taichou was killed.”

“Yes.”

“They’re without a Captain now.” Slate hues widened before narrowing, understanding quickly settling in. This was the one thing he had never been prepared for.

“Nemu could act as defacto Captain.”

“She can’t. She’s a child again.”

“Of course she is.” Damn Mayrui. “Akon?”

“Doesn’t have a Bankai. Or a Shikai.”

“Of course he doesn’t. Of course Mayuri would keep all of his underlings under a careful watch and not allow them to progress. Of course he would. He never did think about anyone but himself.” A bitter laugh slipped free, one full of anger and mourning. A scarred hand reached up to rub at pale blonde hair. “What are you asking, Shinji?”

“You know what I’m asking, Kisuke.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

A pause. Shinji sucked on his teeth, lips pressing taunt. “The Captain Commander wants to know if you’ll step in and take over the position of Captain of the Twelfth Division once more.”

A bark of laughter escaped Kisuke as he tossed his head back, baring his throat and chest. He knew this was coming. But to hear it spoken aloud? It made everything suddenly so real. “Central Forty-Six is going to disagree.”

“It’ll be overridden. We’re down three captains and the Soul King knows how many Shinigami.” Shinji’s lip curled into a scowl as he shook his head. “We’re fucked.”

“We’re fucked.” Kisuke agreed softly, gaze slipping from Shinji to study the floorboards. “Whose idea was it?”

“It was agreed on immediately that you were the only one who could take over the Twelfth and not accidentally kill everyone.” The humor in Shinji’s tone brought a smile to both of their faces.

“You’re not wrong there.” A pause. “... I have some conditions, then.”

Shinji waved his hands. “Save it for the official meeting. Shun’s calling it in three days time. We’re all to attend, no matter what it takes to get there.” He pushed away from the wall and turned. “I’d love t’stay and all, but I gotta make sure my Division isn’t all dead.”

“You make a good Captain, Shinji.” Kisuke murmured, watching as his back tensed, as his head raised. “You always have.”

“... Get some rest, you ogre.” The door shut, and he was alone with his thoughts once more.

Three Days Later

The meeting did not take place within the Captain Commander’s hall. The First Division was still being cleaned of bodies and blood. Instead, it took place within the halls of the Kyōraku Mansion. The grounds were lovely, sprawling, teeming with deer and birds and streams. It was easy to see the wealth and prestige that came with the name.

But it was nothing compared to the Shihōin estate that Kisuke had grown up on. Speaking of, Yoruichi had joined him. He’d requested she be allowed to attend, and lo and behold, his request had been approved. The past three days, he’d been talking with her and Tessai, deciding on their plan of action. Now, it would come to fruition.

“I know this isn’t the First Division, but it will have to make do for the time being.” Shunsui spoke, breaking the idle conversation that had been occurring and drawing all attention to him. He wore the Captain Commander’s coat, but beneath was a simple violet yukata- loose fitting to accommodate the bandages that wound around his torso. His head was still bandaged, as well.

No one looked to be in good health. Across from him sat Rose and Kensei, both of whom looked uncomfortable. Rose was bandaged around his middle; Kensei’s color was still returning to normal. Behind them stood, or in Kira’s case, sat, their lieutenants. Kira didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. He didn’t seem to be paying attention. Hisagi looked ready to pass out at any given moment.

No one else was any better, aside from perhaps Isane Kotetsu. Akon stood behind the empty chair where Mayuri should have been sitting. Rukia Kuchiki stood behind the empty chair that should have held Ukitake.

“This meeting, while formal, is occurring off the books. We are in a grievous state, and while peace may be here, there is always the chance that it could break at any moment. That is why we are here.” He cleared his throat, brows furrowing. “We are rebuilding, and we have a shaky alliance with both the Quincy and the Arrancar- for now. I do not believe that we are under an immediate threat. However, there are certain items that must be addressed.

“The first of which is the passing of four of our Captains. There will be funerals held for each of them within the coming weeks. They will be open to the public. They will be grand, as is deserving of each.” The finality in Shunsui’s voice left no room for argument. “Captains Yamomoto, Unohana, Kurotsuchi, and Ukitake will be remembered for the rest of time for laying down their lives to save Soul Society, as well as the… Hundreds of others who were lost in battle.”

Hundreds. The word is heavy within the room. Everyone had lost someone in some form, whether it be family, friend, or lover.

“Secondly, it is time to correct the errors of our past. This is the reason this meeting is occurring off the books. I plan to contest the banning of Urahara Kisuke and Shihōin Yoruichi personally before Central Forty-Six.” Murmurs drifted through the room. It was one thing to bring up the idea, but another to say that it will be happening. “Which is why they were both invited to attend this meeting.”

Gazes turned, landing on the pair. “Ohayo,” Kisuke hummed, leaning his weight upon Benihime, who was in her sealed form. “I have questions about that.”

“Of course you do,” Sui-Feng muttered, though she remained silent otherwise.

He pointedly ignored the angry little bee. “I was made aware that you all agreed that I should take over my former position that had been ripped from me one hundred and… What was it, twelve? Thirteen, now? Years ago. A title that I had rightly earned before I was condemned for a crime that I did not commit, which we all are aware of now, yes?” A quick, cursory glance around the room. “I know a few of you here were too young to remember what happened. But let me refresh your memory, shall I? Aizen was working on a way to create Hollows out of Shinigami and chose three of your captains and one of the lieutenants here, now, to test that on, as well as Hiyori Sarugaki, my former Lieutenant, Hachigen Ushoda, formerly of the Fourth Division, and Love Aikawa, former Captain of the Seventh Division.” The words cut like a hot knife through ice, stinging and causing a few to look down or away.

“But some of you were not too young. Some of you remember when it happened, and you did nothing to intervene. So for the last one hundred and thirteen years, I have been living in the World of the Living, aiding the Vizards. Miss Shihōin had been exiled from her own family, even if they did not want to do so. They had no choice. So!” Kisuke clapped his hands together, watching as Isane jumped. Oops. “My condition is that not only we be pardoned of this crime that we did not commit, but that Miss Yoruichi Shihōin also be allowed back within Soul Society. My shop will remain within the World of the Living in Karakura Town. Tessai Tsukabishi, the former Captain of the Kido Corps, who was also wrongly convicted, will also be pardoned. He will remain and run the shop, looking over it and the two Modified Souls whom I created and love as if they were my own children, Ururu and Jinta.

“Those are the conditions upon which I will accept the Captaincy of the Twelfth Division once more. If they are not met, you’ll just have to find someone else who is capable enough to run the Division and understand how Mayuri Kurotsuchi’s mind worked. No offense to Akon or anyone with the Twelfth currently, but I don’t think any of them could actually handle that. After all,” his voice quiets, head dipping, a shadow falling over his eyes. “I was the one who brought Mayuri out of the Maggot’s Nest. Should any of you forget, I was also the Commander of the Detention Corps, as well as a member of the Onmitsukidō.” Chin raising, slate gaze swept across the room, taking in the silence that had fallen. “I’m not asking for a compensation fund. I’m not asking for a new Division. I’m not asking for a golden parade through the Rukongai. I want an apology. And I want for Central Forty-Six to admit their mistake.”

Silence met him. It was as if no one had expected Urahara Kisuke to speak out, to give demands. As if he, too, hadn’t been wronged by the events of the past. As if he, too, did not deserve an apology. As if he, too, were not angry and bitter over the mistakes of the past.

“Lest you all forget that without me, you would not have had the Twelfth as it is today. There would be no S.R.D.I.. Mayuri would have died in his cell. And you all would be dead, now, because Kurosaki Ichigo wouldn’t have been born without Isshin Kurosaki, someone who I helped personally. And you would be down four Captains and one lieutenant.” Jaw set, he met Shunsui’s gaze with his own. “These are the requirements. And I will not settle for any less, Captain Commander.”

Shunsui shifted in his seat, a peculiar little smile curling at the corners of his lips. One that read ‘I anticipated this’, or perhaps ‘All is going according to plan’. “Of course, Urahara-san. It will be done.”

“Will it?” Kisuke countered, head titling, voice low. “Just what do you have on the Central Forty-Six that would turn their vote so quickly, Shunsui-san?”

A chill crept into the air as the Captains and Lieutenants sat straighter, stood straighter, cast their gazes down. No one dared speak, no one dared to break the silence that had gripped their throats and held them captive.

“That,” Shunsui began, rising to his feet slowly. “Is for me to know, and for you to never find out. That is all that needed to be said. This meeting is dismissed.” His face was pale; it was beyond time for him to retire. Another session of healing, no doubt.

Kisuke made his way out, Yoruichi at his side. “That was ballsy,” she murmured, gaze trained ahead. “But good.”

“I figured a history lesson was overdue.” Kisuke replied with a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “Go, I’m sure no one will mind if you-”

She was already gone.

“-visit your family.” Sighing, he began the slow walk back towards the Gotei Thirteen, gaze downcast. He could hear murmurings from behind him- surprise, shock, anxiety. A presence settled in at his side, shoulder gently bumping against his arm.

“Think it’ll happen?” Shinji asked after a good few minutes of walking in silence.

“He managed to convince them to let Aizen out.” He hummed, head rising to study the horizon. “I don’t know what he has up his sleeves, but… I believe there is a chance I’ll be back to torment you, Hirako-taicho.”

The grin Shinji sent him was brighter than the sun. He couldn’t help but smile, as well.

One Month Later

“I stand before you today to contest a punishment that was given over a century ago,” Shunsui began, gazing up at the blank blocks before him. Behind them sat the members of the Central Forty-Six. “I am aware that I was here merely two months prior. A lot can happen in two months.”

“Like losing hundreds of Shinigami,” one voice spoke up.

“That is the casualty of war, something that you all seem to forget exists outside of your protected lives.” Silence met Shunsui. “We lost four captains. And while there are many who could step up the plate, one of those is impossible to replace.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“That Urahara Kisuke be allowed back into the Soul Society and be allowed to take his mantle of Captain up once again.” Shunsui fell quiet as yells met him. Anger, alarm, it all spilled out.

“URAHARA KISUKE? DESERTER.”

“LIAR, A DANGER TO SOUL SOCIETY.”

“HE’S BEEN IN THE WORLD OF THE LIVING FOR TOO LONG.”

He raised his hands, listening as the voices died down. “I understand your anger. However, merely a few years ago, the Vizards were pardoned. Why should Kisuke not be pardoned, as well as Yoruichi Shihōin and Tessai Tsukabishi.”

“THEY’RE TRAITORS TO THE SOUL SOCIETY-”

“THEY ABANDONED US YEARS AGO-”

“THEY SHOULD BE KILLED-”

Shunsui raised his hands once more, his brow furrowed. “Maa, maa- please, allow me to speak.” Agitated silence met him as he cleared his throat. “I’m not Yamomoto. I haven’t been here since the beginning. I was just a child when this place was really coming together. But because of that, I have been able to witness the way everything has changed and grown. How we’ve become stronger, how more and more Shinigami join our ranks each year. I was a Captain by the time Urahara Kisuke joined our ranks, stepping out from the shadow of the Onmitsukidō. I was able to watch as he built the Twelfth up from the bottom, and watched as he created the Shinigami Research and Development Institute. Without him, we wouldn’t have the Gigais that allow us to investigate further into the World of the Living, the Tenshintai. What Mayuri had to work with wouldn’t have existed without Kisuke. We wouldn’t have even had a captain to fill his place originally without Kisuke; he was the one who brought Mayuri out of the Maggot’s Nest.

“At the end of the day, you have to sit back and consider more than what those of the past did. At the time, there was no true solid proof that Urahara Kisuke, Yoruichi Shihōin and Tessai Tsukabishi were behind the hollowfication project that was, in actuality, spearheaded by Aizen. Their only crime had been being at the scene, trying to help their friends. When you consider this, along with how they have continued to aid us despite being stranded in the World of the Living for so long… Don’t we owe them this?” Murmurs began to echo through the tall chamber. Forty-six voices all talking, debating. Shunsui stood, hands folded politely before him as he waited.

He was right, and he knew it. After all, it had been his idea in the first place. Without Kisuke’s aid, they wouldn’t have ever had Kurosaki Ichigo to help them. Aizen would never have been stopped. Yhawch would still be alive, and they would all be dead or acting as prisoners. There wasn’t any real debate to be had other than stubborn old men wanting to keep history as it is. “So, I ask once more: I wish for Urahara Kisuke to be allowed back into the Soul Society and be allowed to take his mantle of Captain of the Twelfth Division and Captain of the S.R.D.I. up once again as well as pardoning Urahara Kisuke, Yoruichi Shihōin and Tessai Tsukabishi of their wrongly accused crimes.” Silence settled across the chamber. A pleased smile curled Shunsui’s lips as he relaxed.

Two Weeks Later

The First Division was peaceful, calm, filled with idle chatter as the Captains and their Lieutenants gathered within the hall of the Captain Commander. There was no surprise written upon their features; they knew what this meeting was about. Even so, they stood, chatting amongst one another, until Shunsui made his way into the hall to settle in at the head of the hall. He used a heavy, cherry wood cane to aid him; it would not be a permanent fixture. Each day he grew stronger, healing from his injuries.

“Well, then,” he murmured, rolling his shoulders before raising his voice. “Would the new Captain of the Twelfth Division enter?”

The great doors opened, and standing within the entryway was none other than Urahara Kisuke, green and white strapped hat nowhere to be seen. He no longer resembled the young, awkward Captain he had been one hundred and thirteen years ago. Now, he stood tall, still, gaze trained forward. He made his way in slowly, geta clad feet making soft ‘clacks’ with every step. Behind him, surprisingly, walked a black feline, trodding to keep up. He turned to the left, and stepped into the place where he’d once stood, where Mayuri had once stood.

“Very well. Now, since we are all here, our first manner of business…”

The meeting did not last long; many were still in frail condition, such as the Third Division. The walk to the Twelfth was quiet, calm. Yoruichi had slipped away, returning to her family for the first time in far too long. She wouldn’t be taking up the mantle of Head of the Shihōin family; that title had passed to her younger brother. Instead, she’d become an aid to him, and split her time between the Soul Society and the World of the Living. Tessai didn’t want to return; he had no desire to come back. He’d handle the shop and keep an eye on Karakura, along with Jinta and Ururu.

Kisuke was pulled from his thoughts at the sound of a throat clearing. Head snapping up, slate gaze hues widening at the sight of his new lieutenant. “The last time I saw you, you were extremely little and didn’t have a nicotine addiction!” Kisuke greeted with a grin as Akon let out a bark of laughter.

“It’s good to see you again, too, Captain,” Akon replied, shaking his head as he fell into step beside Kisuke. “A lot’s changed.”

“I’d be more alarmed if nothing had changed. It has been over a century, after all!” His head tilts back, studying the sky. “It feels strange to be here again.”

“It does.” The sound of a little voice calling had both men pausing, glancing behind them, only to watch as a little black haired girl came bouncing over, nearly stumbling over her sandals. Nemu. Akon knelt down, arms open, allowing the girl to climb up into his arms. “Nemu, meet Urahara Kisuke. He’s taking over as Captain.”

“I remember him. Where’s your hat?” She asked, big dark eyes gazing up at Kisuke.

“Decided that it wouldn’t be appropriate to wear at a meeting,” he winked, and with a wave of his hand, it was as if the hat appeared out of thin air. Nemu’s eyes widened in surprise, mouth dropping open into a little ‘o’. “But I never wander too far without it.” Gaze turning, he took in the sight of the Division, how much it had changed, how large it had become. “Well…”

“Wherever you want to begin, I’ll guide you to it.” A grimace. “Notes? Or did he burn them all again?”

“Surprisingly, he didn’t.” A shrug as Akon began to walk once more, carrying Nemu as if she were his own. Members of the Twelfth stopped where they stood and bowed low, murmurs of welcome echoing through the air. “I don’t think he had the foresight to do that.”

“Good,” Kisuke nodded, clapping his hands together. “Then let's get to work.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.”

That Night

The night air was cool here compared to the warm autumn air of Karakura Town. Geta clopped along the top of the wall idly with no true direction. That is, until the sound of a snicker drew the attention of the shoe’s owner. Head tilting, Kisuke glanced behind himself to find Hirako Shinji standing behind him. “Can’t sleep?”

“Haunted by the past.” Kisuke replied, settling down on the wall. Was he in Shinji’s Division? He hadn’t realized he’d walked that far. “You?”

“Insomnia’s a bitch.” Shinji settled down on the wall, kicking his heels against the sturdy structure idly. “... It feels good to have you back.”

“Does it?” He mused, stepping closer before settling down, shoulder bumping Shinji’s before leaning against the other. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“Fuck off,” Shinji teased, leaning his weight back against Kisuke’s shoulder. Together they sat, silence falling across them like a light dew in the early morning hours. Without speaking, Shinji reached over, taking hold of Kisuke’s hand. Calloused fingers drifted over stitched scars. “She did a number on you.”

“Benihime is a benevolent woman. I respect that,” Kisuke replied softly, watching Shinji’s fingers. “What about you? How’s your head?”

“I’ve had worse.”

“Touche.” A chuckle slipped free from both men. Kisuke sighed, leaning over to rest his head atop Shinji’s own. “This is what you missed?”

“This and more.”

“It doesn’t feel right without Hiyori yelling at us. Or Love laughing. Or Hachi worrying…” Brows furrowing, he sighed. “But they like it in the World of the Living.”

“They’ll never come back.” Shinji’s voice was soft, regretful, full of anger pushed down beneath the surface. “It’ll never be the same.”

“No, it won’t,” his eyes closed, memories of days long passed flashing within his mind. “... But at least some of it will be.”

A smile curled Shinji’s lips as he pulled Kisuke’s hand up to his lips, pressing a lingering kiss to his knuckles. “Some of it will be, Captain.”

“Captain, eh?”

“Shaddup.”

Laughter filled the night air, so light and joyful, it was as if nothing had ever changed.

[dr-cherub]

So for those with good eyes you will notice that one Keychain is missing.

Our beloved Super Haker was forgotten in the production process.

(Interestingly enough the Stickers of him were there)

But the rest is out.

Since that's the case I won't be able to sell the all in one package and the Super Haker + Part Time Warrior package have to wait.

[outlanderalien]

I had to join in on that one twitter meme

[fawnatrix]

Fuck it. ABBA-song assigning some of my favourite Bleach characters as I try to make my way through their entire discography. Some get two because I’m chronically indecisive.

Jūshirō - Thank You For The Music (idk why there’s no real correlation I just always think of him when I hear it), and Chiquitita (friendship being such an integral part of his character is so important to me actually)

Mayuri - Slipping Through My Fingers (his relationship with Nemu is everything to me. I wish we got more of Mayuri being a parent, for comedic potential and for angst like this song)

Shinji - Angeleyes (Aishin vibes. Enough said)

Shunsui gets a few because he’s the special little ABBA man - Knowing Me, Knowing You (very upbeat but has surprisingly sad lyrics- the inevitable breakup vibes gives me Shunuki in TYBW vibes), Disillusion (same vibes as the last one but way more depressed-sounding), Lay All Your Love On Me (shunuki my beloved), Does Your Mother Know, and Dancing Queen (they just fit his vibes)

Kisuke - Money, Money, Money (it just fits his vibes idk what else to tell you. It’s about money but it’s also about ~power~), Cassandra (Kisuke as a parallel to Cassandra of Greek Mythology fame is something that I didn’t connect until,,, like just now. But it’s so good) and Voulez-Vous (there are many images that I could conjure, thinking of Kisuke and this song. Some include Shinji)

Nemu - The Name Of The Game (Nemu slowly making friends outside of the Twelfth,,,, and learning how to be a person outside of her role as lieutenant and daughter and assistant,,,,it’s all about growth, baby), Should I Laugh or Cry (this is her and Mayuri in general) and Under Attack (idk why really with this one- the robot vibes are cool and match how Nemu’s stoicism can come off to people- in-universe and out- as robotic. I have the least explanation for this one to be completely honest it just,,, matches her vibes)

I could probably do more but I’ve focused on this for too long and I have to do something else before I implode.

[uraharasandals]

A normal slice-of-life small fic for your enjoyment. Featuring the 12th Division, one very underpaid Akon, and one very I-did-not-sign-up-for-this Hisagi Shuuhei. Mentions of Urahara Kisuke, of course, because I love that man. 

(Feat. a rare occasion where Akon is actually shocked by his Captain. A rarity, indeed.)

“What in the nine realms of the Soul King’s palace is the meaning of this?!” A very familiar screech comes from within the lab, and Shuuhei tries his best not to crane his neck to take a peek - because that’s rude and not something he does, but it’s very tempting. He nearly does, his resolve crumbling in favour of his curiousity, but just then, Akon speaks.

“I’m very sorry about that.” Despite the clear distress Captain Kurotsuchi is displaying, the man in front of him seems completely unfazed, as if this is something he encounters every day. Maybe he does. After all, who knows what goes on in the bowels of the 12th Division? “The Captain isn’t feeling very well at the moment.”

“...Yes, I can see that.” A bead of sweat rolls down Shuuhei’s forehead. He tries not to wipe it away. 

“Now, Lieutenant Hisagi, what do you need me for?” 

“Ah yes, apologies. It’s about the latest edition of Seireitei Communications...” As the regular spew about his beloved magazine comes rolling off his tongue naturally, Shuuhei allows his mind to wander briefly as to what could make Captain Kurotsuchi so unsettled. His curiousity is furthered when a few members of the SDRI start sending worried glances at the back office, where surely the man himself is holed up in. “ - so if there’s anything the 12th Division would like to include - “

“Just the usual is fine,” Akon cuts through. It’s not rude, exactly, but Shuuhei could tell the man is getting a little impatient. 

“...Ah.” By ‘the usual’, he means the advertisements for...volunteers (he decides to not think for what, exactly) that the 12th are looking for. A paid volunteer experience. “Nothing else? Maybe a Division special? From certain members?” 

The 3rd seat smiles ruefully, knowing what he’s getting at. Akon’s hand shifts in his pocket, closing around a familiar squared-box shape. “I appreciate it, Lieutenant Hisagi. But I don’t think Captain Kurotsuchi would.” 

“It’s not like an interview would further tarnish the Division’s reputation, or anything,” He ventures. Shuuhei tries not to let the rest of the sentence appear. Because you lot are as batshit crazy as the rumours make you out to be already. 

“NEMU! Come here!!” The lieutenant winces slightly, but Akon remains undisturbed. “No, I don’t think we would. Thanks for the offer.” And that’s the end of it, clearly, because he starts to send glances at the back as well. Shuuhei knows it’s a farce - he’s not worried about his Captain at all, he just wants to get away. He decides to take the hint.

“In that case, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Thanks.” 

/

“Captain?” Akon knocks on the door, and enters without waiting for the reply. A dangerous game to play, all things considered, but he knows to duck when it swings inwards, to avoid the book Kurotsuchi had aimed at his head. There’s a muffled yelp behind him, but as long as no test tubes are broken, it’s something he can deal with after. He shuts the door just as something else comes flying - it shatters against the door, and he doesn’t want to know what it was. “What’s wrong?” 

“That man - that damned Urahara Kisuke!” Mayuri had his fists clenched on top of his workbench, veins bulging from his forehead. Akon gives an internal sigh. Really, Urahara-san, you know better than to provoke him like this...

“What is it this time, sir?” 

“He thinks he’s so smart, sending shit like this,” He seethes, and Akon ventures closer. There’s a box open, with the wrapping discarded on the side like used tissue paper, and inside is...a phone? “As if the technology in Soul Society hasn’t already far surpassed that of the human world! What utter rubbish!”

The 3rd seat exhales, and sends a glance at Nemu, who’s standing patiently by his side. “How did this even get into Soul Society, sir?”

“Through that lieutenant of the 13th, Kuchiki, of course. Who else has the time to be running errands for him between the Human World and Seireitei?” Fair enough. Akon scratches his head absent-mindedly, and crosses his arms. “I’ve had Nemu analysed this, but I can’t seem to find any hidden traps. Which makes it worse, of course, because it’s the perfect place to put a bomb!” 

“Y’know, sir, this could’ve just been a parcel. A rather meaningless one, yes, but a harmless one at the end.” 

“Mayuri-sama thinks it contains a bomb,” Nemu offers, not-so-helpfully. “I’ll run it through some tests afterwards to confirm this, if you’d like.”

Before he could reply, however, a loud squawk pierces the air. Grunting angrily, Mayuri whirls around, immediately identifying the sound - it’s from a baby chick that the SDRI members tried making, constructing a living organism from nothing. A little like the Nemuri project, but Mayuri wasn’t known for being a genius for nothing - the bird is slightly deformed, and honestly, it’s a miracle it even walks. Making another angry noise, the captain smashes it with a fist without hesitation. I told them not to put it in the captain’s office...

“I don’t have time for this! Nemu, discard of the gag gift however you see fit - burn it, or put it back onto Kuchiki’s desk if you’d like. Maybe include a bomb - it’ll show her not to follow that man’s orders.”

“Yes, sir.”

/

Bonus: 

“Ah, hello, Akon-san! So, how did Kurotsuchi-san react?”

Akon sighs, exhaling the smoke from his deeply-needed cigarette. “Urahara-san, you knew how he would react. Why did you even send it?”

“It’s his birthday, I was just being thoughtful! So?”

"He thought it was a bomb, and told the lieutenant to burn it.”

“What a pity. Did he not even try to open it? I included a birthday song inside! And some other interesting stuff!”

“...If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought you had a death wish, sir.” 

[mayuris-basement-dweller]

I think I should share two of my (Ruysei Nakao stan/simp) findings of the day.

First there's this anime... And I found out there's a live action of sorts too... Called Iga No Kabamaru.

Nakao-san actually has a single for this same series, but it was for the manga.

Actually

Let's do this in order.

This is the Vinyl/Single with two songs. "The Ninja" and "Igano Kabamaru".

And this is the song from the actual anime, timestamp 22:58. "Yakisoba Ondo".

What a banger, BTW. My beloved VA never misses.

(Also, Lord help me avoid imagining Mayuri singing this...)

UPDATE:

He voices the actual titular character of said anime. Sorry fellow Mayuri fuc... I mean, friends and visitors of this blog... I am out to do... Research. Yeah. Research.

[unohanadaydreams]

Okay finally posting the last of Pernida fight. Truly don't understand how I forgot these in the drafts.

Surely part of this is working smarter and not harder in terms of not wanting to start from absolute scratch on a new Nemuri, but the look on his face makes me think there is absolutely sentiment behind this as well. He looks desperate.

He is putting himself in immense danger by doing this. He's risking following Nemu in death by getting this close. And he does it anyway.

I love my fucking stupid, idiot, moron repressed asshole. He is SO stupid. It is TOO LATE. ITS TOO LATE!!!!

But he's taking back her cerebrum anyway.

What I get out of this is that Nemu essentially had an extra thyroid working overtime to keep her above board? And although this going unchecked once the cerebrum is removed would overwork the heart for sure, it’s more likely to shrivel and restrict the body but I get an explosion is cooler.

The conclusion of this fight is rushed considering the lengthy build up. And instead of going into anything about the Soul King or Pernida, we are left with nothing. Which is so disheartening.

Idk it’s just unfulfilling. It felt like something was building re: Mayuri viewing Pernida like a new kind of being to study to exhaustion but realizing too late that he’s just a Quincy. And he’s already studied them to exhaustion. But still fucked up and got Nemu killed and almost died himself because he refused to RECOGNIZE that. And he refused to recognize this battle for what it is: just trying to get out alive versus a being that has mastered evolution in a way that Mayuri has not scraped. He wasn't being cautious or prepared or observant--he was being reckless & DUMB. (Pernida was out there absorbing Mayuri's brain cells lmao)

Pernida doesn’t seem so stupid that he wouldn’t have realized that Mayuri encouraging him to eat Nemu meant something. He had already evolved pretty far. That said, I do appreciate Nemu's involvement.

I think maybe they just realized this fight was taking a lot of panels more than what they’d anticipated lmao.

I was just really hoping this battle was going to open up some kind of pathway to more on the Soul King or Pernida's backstory of any kind. But no!

Not complaining too much since this was bountiful Mayuri character moments. But also plot my beloved, I miss you.

My guess is that they got the extra thyroid treatment and since they are actual souls and not fake souls, it’s both keeping their cells refreshes enough to ensure they’re not dead but also refreshing too fast for a real soul to live normally? It's matching more what would happen to a body (shriveling and restricting), I guess.

And for Toshiro, who is ALREADY being crushed by immense power from his zanpakuto, I can imagine this would be really affecting.

Otherwise idk how he made them alive again lmao. I’m purely spit balling.

Has he though? We don’t get a lot of time with Ururu and Jinta but they seem more like individuals than Nemu ever did. Although, I guess we don’t know if they were made from scratch like Nemu, only that they were made similarly.

And Pernida was also not made from scratch.

So on this point, maybe he's right?

But it still feels like a major fucking cope lmao.

Over all, this battle is such a tragedy for Mayuri's emotional development. He distances himself from the next Nemuri and you can tell he took this as a lesson to not care or love.

Instead of learning the word moderation, he just swings the other way and treats Nemuri like she's subject number 8. Like Kubo is really batting 1000 with these tragic lessons. Kenpachi & Mayuri will be worse but better for Soul Society for it. And that's really all that matters.

Also Mayuri with bangs in his eyes and sweat dripping down his face and a half-hearted smile on his face LSKDJFPO:WIEJFP:OIAJSD:PLFKJ:SALDKEJFEKLJ

[criminal-sen]

Trying to get this tiny lil Mayuri keychain shipped from Japan and I feel like the chance it's actually gonna wind up at my address is minimal. Cuz 1) it's a different delivery service and my super specific special instructions had to be contained within like. 90 characters. So it's like Left Side Building Back of Parking Lot Metal Door🤦‍♂️ and 2) my address has been utterly thrashed by whatever program that copied and pasted it from the original form I filled out. So it's like

Name, street address, state, state, city, zip code, city

Mayuri keychain my beloved, we will overcome the odds😭

[aseriesofunfortunatejan]

(Masterpost)

Rules: - Vote for one of these two characters based on who you personally think should win. It can be anything from "I follow aseriesofunfortunatejan and she talks about this character way more" to "I know this guy and not the other guy" passing by "who are these? This one's hotter" and of course "holy shit this is ALSO my blorbo" - You may reblog this poll and you may even talk about why you voted for who you voted! - You may NOT complain about the other character if you dislike them! These characters are all the poll runner's beloveds and the goal of this tournament is to have fun, be silly, be nice, eat hot chip.

Introductions and propaganda (under the cut):

Kyon was the first character I identified as being my favourite character. And for many years, I considered him my favourite character overall. Despite enjoying the entirety of the Haruhi Suzumiya cast when I watched and read it, something about Kyon just worked and I thought about him a lot. Just a solid character, and his relationship with Haruhi is really what brings the show together. Despite the years - and not having interacted with the series in a long time now - Kyon stands out to me as a character that has been very important to me. I don't even know why I even like him that much but he's special. I also liked when he got stabbed. I liked it a little too much actually. That's why he's DEFINITELY a blorbo. I learned how to make FRAME BY FRAME gifs just so I could watch him get stabbed over and over. He is my favourite character

Mayuri Shiina! Is so important! If you know about Steins;Gate, then you definitely know that. She was the first character I cosplayed and my relationship to cosplaying her remains very important to me. Something in me relates to her writing as an aloof girl, and I enjoy her pivotal role in the story. There's a person I gave so many chances to despite how obvious it had become that they didn't care about me but I decided to cut ties when I realised they had a negative (wrong) opinion of Mayushii.* Anyway my cosplay Instagram is themed around her

*I don't think I've ever felt all that upset that someone disliked a character I like - and I'm exaggerating on purpose... But I still remember this specific person's bad opinion because it was such bad faith I was flabbergasted. They really outed their lack of ability for critical reading. Like so many people dislike Mayushii and it is completely fine but this person was very embarrassing about it. Anyway stan my girl she quite literally did not ask for this

[dykeza]

WAIT this has nothing to do with the bingo but. What do you think the beloveds from Bleach (the blorbos from our show) would be like high. Do we think that they'd be better or worse. (the mental image of some of my/your favourites from Bleach smoking weed. is very funny to me.) ((You don't have to answer obvs but I would like to know your thoughts on this very serious matter <333))

Sorry I was sleeping. Nemu isn’t affected by weed because of all the poisons introduced into her system. She just kinda blinks and then gets on with her day. Mayuri acts like it doesn’t affect him but he’s shaking and crying (awful person to smoke with). Kisuke and Shinji are normal but somehow stupider and at least 15% more likely to grind in front of others (kicked out of the circle for making out). Shunsui Kyouraku. Jushiro doesnt smoke it’s bad for his lungs but he does watch over Shunsui when He smokes and it’s about the same level of comedy as if they were both partaking in the devils lettuce. Thee end