#Maybe you guys are a bunch of goobers on my phone

[dostyaak]

Sometimes I forget that you guys are real people and not just a bunch of goobers on my phone

[pyropsychiccollector]

Wasn't my intention to have back-to-back days with the same guy... But, well. I'm in a mood~ Might as well keep going while the iron's hot. :3

Let's talk about this goober~...

NagiKae

Kaede Kayano, definitely one of the more "obvious" love interests for Nagisa Shiota... Well. It's obvious, and not-so-obvious. A lot of fans gloss over Kaede because she's too "vanilla" for Nagisa... Some even think it was just a kiss that turned her into a lovesick bimbo... That's not the entire story, though. There was a lot of lead-up to that kiss, the emotions born from it... So let's get to it.

Akari Yukimura was a famous child actress with a stage name of "Haruna Mase". We don't know much of her background, but her dad ran a pharmaceutical company, and wasn't too involved in Akari or her sister's lives. Though it would behoove us to mention that he arranged for Kotaro Yanagisawa to marry Akari's sister, Aguri, after their company struggled to keep afloat and Yanagisawa bought the company. You get the sense that Akari's childhood may have been a lonely one, with her dad likely never home because of running the company and her sister off to college. Perhaps that's why Akari turned to showbusiness, to give herself something to do, and maybe to help pay the family bills.

Even so, Akari loved her sister. That much is undeniable. Even when busy with school or laboratory work, Aguri would call and make time for Akari. Sometimes, they'd even meet up in-person. Though by the time the series started, it had been a while since they didn't have a phone between them. Whatever other friends or acquaintances Akari may have had as a child, Aguri was her best friend, the one she loved and adored the most. Akari was looking forward to meeting up again, talk about this new guy that caught Aguri's fancy... 'Cause Akari sure never liked Yanagisawa very much, and she could tell Aguri seemed unhappy, too. The new mysterious guy seemed promising...

... And then the unthinkable happened. Aguri died. Akari didn't even know the circumstances, and her sister was just... gone. What Akari did "know" was that someone was there when Aguri died and fled the scene, and that reeked of guilt. Who just flees a scene after an explosion, much less like how Koro-sensei did? Akari didn't know the circumstances, but it looked like murder. The note Koro-sensei left behind didn't help matters. And Akari wasn't the type to leave things be; Aguri was very important to her, and if she was murdered... then Akari would get revenge. She needed to.

That's why she gave herself tentacles and infiltrated Kunugigaoka. She barely understood what her sister was working on, but her instincts told her that she would need the tentacles to get her revenge. Akari forged documents to create an alias to not draw attention, and that's how she became Kaede Kayano, a previous one-off role she played in a show. She didn't know why the monster killed Aguri, why he decided to teach a bunch of Junior High kids... but she knew that she needed to be here. This was her only shot at getting justice.

It's safe to say that Kaede had no intentions of forging new bonds. Not when the most important person in her life was killed. But if she remained a loner, she'd draw attention to herself... Kaede needed to be a typical student, make friends, lead a happy-go-lucky life... on the surface, anyway. As much as she wanted revenge, she wasn't going to rush into this without any idea of her target and his capabilities. Kaede was clearly patient, and just as observant as Nagisa... the first guy she met in E-Class. There wasn't any rhyme or reason to pick him as a cover - it's simply that the sooner she made a "friend", the sooner everyone would drop their guards around her. She knew nothing of Nagisa's family life, the hardships he faced with his mom wanting a daughter as opposed to a son... Kaede just saw an opportunity to be cutesy, to make a simple change to his appearance and stand out a little bit less. Kaede couldn't know for sure how deep their "friendship" would ever go...

Things don't go to plan. Kaede might not have wanted to get attached, but think about it. Nagisa nearly died - that's hitting a little too close to home for Kaede. Maybe Nagisa is a means to an end, but Kaede isn't that heartless... Deep down, a part of her is yearning for someone to fill in the void left behind by Aguri, and right now Nagisa's the closest friend she has... and she almost lost him because a stupid jerk couldn't carry out his own suicide plan, Terasaka just had to make Nagisa do it... Kaede's an accomplished actress, but when a personal tragedy like this occurs mere days/weeks after losing her sister, that shock and anger is going to be all too real. ... I think she's struggling with herself to hold back, 'cause if Akari wants to kill Koro-sensei, what do you suppose she wants to do to Terasaka...?

It's a real pity this near suicide is brushed off pretty quickly, and no one talks to Nagisa about it on-screen ever again... But I think it's fair to assume Kaede draws closer to Nagisa over the coming weeks and months because she knows better to value what she has while she has it. Even if she didn't intend for Nagisa to be a true friend... her heart just won't give him up.

So, she gives Koro-sensei his name. Watches Sugino get in a funk over failing to kill the octopus, then later basks in everyone getting a shot because Koro-sensei ruined the flowerbeds. I'm pretty sure Nagisa went up a few notches in Kaede's book because he was starting a habit of keeping notes. Something she couldn't afford to do openly because she needed to keep a low profile. It still showed that Nagisa was a pretty meticulous guy, too, and she could throw her full support behind that, gleefully. If Nagisa missed anything, she could innocently point it out to him, but moreover having a second opinion was always great. Having Mister Karasuma formally join the class as an instructor is another bonus, resources and training.

Karma arrives, and Kaede is intrigued if nothing else than because he has a history with Nagisa. She probably suspected Karma would get his ass whooped, seeing as how none of them had much success. And she'd be right... after getting over the initial flustered reactions, Koro-sensei comes to expect Karma's repeated attempts. Turns it around on the guy. and pretty soon Karma's becomes a team player.

... Then Professor Bitch shows up, and oh boy... Kaede's not having a good day. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) This is one of the first major hints of Kaede's crush - not that the girl's conscious of it yet, but c'mon. Seeing a knockout of a teacher waltz in here and kiss her Nagisa...? And then smother him with those melons? Yes. Kaede has words. (๑╹ω╹๑ )

*ahem* Kaede just wants it on the record, that's sexual assault. Kaede does not approve. (๑╹ω╹๑ );;;

But yeah. Professor Bitch joins the class, and Kaede's all for that nickname, by the way. No, really. Listen to how chirpy she is in the next episode with calling Irina that, when they're making their way down the mountain for the assembly. Kaede-chan holds a grudge. lol Professor Bitch aside, Okuda also made an attempt on Koro-sensei, revealing her passion in chemistry... although like Kaede and Nagisa figured, Koro-sensei's "help" was really for his own benefit, making himself more flexible with the Liquify trick. After they make it down the mountain, Kaede's there when those two boys from D-Class mock Nagisa during the assembly. Outwardly she's not showing much inflection, but that's mostly because the rest of E-Class keeps their heads down, and Nagisa doesn't acknowledge those guys, either... I'll still bet that there's a part of her that wanted to yell back at those boys or comfort Nagisa.

Kaede really, really hopes Professor Bitch ditches this nasty habit, though... Damn femme fatale. (๑╹ω╹๑ );;;;;;;;;;

After the assembly, Kaede does miss a further altercation between Nagisa and those two from D-Class... At least Nagisa stands up for himself, Kaede would be proud. Still, the incident prompts the Principal to take E-Class down a peg for the First Term midterms, and they all take a hit there...

The Kyoto trip comes next, and they have to work in groups so that some professionals can snipe the octopus. It's clear Kaede, Nagisa, and Sugino are the beginnings of a group; Nagisa drags in Karma, and Kaede picks Okuda. Sugino nominates Kanzaki for the last member, and Kaede's totally for it~... Though I'll bet she notices Nagisa and Kanzaki blushing at each other. XD

The train ride to Kyoto is pleasant enough. Kaede and Nagisa are both excited to learn more about each other and their classmates on the trip. Even the first bit of touring the sites around Kyoto is fun, Kaede showing she has a sweet tooth, and Nagisa researched the Kyoto area pretty thoroughly (well, they all did, but some studied more than others). It's all fun and games until some high school guys throttle the boys, and kidnap Kanzaki and Kaede.

This little adventure is dramatic and tense; the highschoolers intend to molest Kanzaki and Kaede, the latter of which has to keep her composure and not reveal too much... even if she wants to kill their kidnappers. Kaede also learns more about Kanzaki, and bonds with her. The circumstances could be better, but it's really sweet that Kaede is making friends with E-Class... Nagisa was her first, Sugino and Karma are proxies of being friends with Nagisa, then she grew closer to Okuda, and now Kanzaki... Kaede probably figures this is just to keep up her facade, but after they're rescued the friendship clearly sticks. In terms of Nagisa, he keeps the guys and Okuda calm and collected, using Koro-sensei's guidebook as a way to track down the kidnappers and save their friends. Nagisa also calls Koro-sensei for backup, and they manage to get the girls in time before things got worse. Kaede sounds genuinely thrilled that Nagisa and the others found them, and stays upbeat after Koro-sensei throttles the highschoolers, glad that Kanzaki isn't traumatized by the experience.

After that episode, they retire for the evening at their hotel, breaking off into boy and girl groups. Both groups, unironically, end up talking... romance. The guys hold a popularity poll, and though we don't know who voted for who, I'm willing to bet that Nagisa voted for Kaede...or Kanzaki, though considering the relative closeness he has with Kaede... I'd say there's a good chance he supported his friend. Nagisa doesn't really have a crush as of yet, but that's more due to his meek nature. He doesn't see a way that any girl would like him as more than a friend, and moreover, they're young. Nagisa's not in a rush for romance. In the girls' group, there's the same level of ambiguity as Rio tries to get them talking about crushes on the boys in their class. Kaede doesn't chime in, and that's probably more due to the fact that Kaede's revenge-driven; consciously, she has no romantic interests. She just goes along with the lighthearted fun, trying to tickle an answer out of Kanzaki when she hesitates...

Then Koro-sensei gathers intel on the boys and girls, and garners a pincer attack on himself for his nosiness. XD

Kyoto ends off on this heartfelt moment between Nagisa and Kaede~ Even with all that happened, they're able to have a good time and bond. Nagisa's unsure of the future, his future, and... he wants to live in the moment. Because we won't find out until next season, but Nagisa has a hellish life at home. E-Class provides him a sanctuary, a place to have fun and make memories... And Nagisa's bittersweet about them going separate ways after Graduation, assuming the world survives. This is the happiest he's been in a long time... and Nagisa doesn't want it to end. Kaede doesn't understand Nagisa fully yet, but I'll bet she senses there's more to the story than Nagisa's telling her... She just doesn't want to pry too much, so Kaede empathizes with him instead. Kaede wasn't counting on making real friends and precious memories, but she is, and Kaede would love for the good times to last even just a little longer... Dragging her heels on her revenge scheme is taking on a whole new meaning - the longer she takes, the longer she can stick by Nagisa's side. The longer she can stay Kanzaki's friend. And Okuda. And Sugino. And Karma... Remember: This is a girl who came to E-Class because she lost her sister. Whether or not she fully realizes it yet, these people are filling the void left behind by Aguri. She's getting attached.

Ritsu joins the gang. Lovro tests Professor Bitch... Things get complicated when Shiro shows up with Itona. Kaede knows it's Yanagisawa; Itona's tentacles confirmed it, but Kaede likely had an inkling when Shiro performed the dove trick (in the manga, there's a panel where Aguri introduces Yanagisawa to her sister, and he performs the same magic trick), and Shiro's intimate knowledge of Koro-sensei. She keeps her head low, but Yanagisawa notes her presence, and later investigates. While Shiro agrees to not harming innocents, Kaede probably stuck close to Nagisa on the off-chance he got hurt from the brawl in the ring. Again, losing Aguri has...given her perspective. And why should she trust Yanagisawa, anyway? He let Aguri die, carried on that tentacle research. She's not losing someone else precious to her. Kaede's probably even relieved when Koro-sensei chases them off, as much as the teacher's thirsty for answers.

The baseball/basketball matches happen... And then Takaoka shows up. Right before that, Karasuma overdoes a defensive move when Nagisa gets the drop on him, and Kaede's there for Nagisa pretty quickly, like Sugino. Dunno if she was keeping an eye on him during the drills, but her concern for Nagisa is definitely growing. When Takaoka does rear his deceptive mug, Kaede probably suspects a deception on account of the bribe the new PE teacher brought them on the first day. ... But it's desserts, so how can Kaede refuse? The tentacles really heightened her sweet tooth, that's for sure.

Takaoka's real colors come out the next day, and it's Hell for a bit, with Karasuma and Koro-sensei powerless to stop Takaoka. But then Takaoka goes too far again with his sadistic teaching methods, and Karasuma has to step in; but Takaoka wants to settle it as teachers, making Karasuma pick out a champion to take him on. Kaede's most likely antsy about the chance of being picked for the match, since she wants to keep her cards close to her chest...but it's not her. It's Nagisa.

Nagisa has the choice to decline the knife, but he ends up agreeing to Karasuma's request, because he respects their original PE teacher. Kaede knows there's a pretty good chance Nagisa will get hurt, but she's once more powerless to do anything without breaking her cover. The show can't show too much conflict on Kaede's face because they have to keep that shocking twist for later, that there's more to Kaede than meets the eye. But even so, this is more than enough. Kaede's not overprotective, even if part of her wants to be, after losing Aguri. She watches uneasily, hoping Nagisa will pull through.

... And he does. Oh, boy, he does. Nagisa's innate skills are on full display, and they let him get the drop on Takaoka without so much as a scratch. Kaede's blown away just like the rest of them, not even Karasuma expected it to go this well. Again, she has to to keep a low profile... but she joins her classmates in gushing over Nagisa, and that's probably all genuine. Her worries about Nagisa's wellbeing are alleviated, and now they don't have to put up with Takaoka anymore. Plus, someone as skilled as Nagisa... That's her friend right there. I'm pretty sure Kaede's stoked to have such a promising ally, both inside and out. Kaede doesn't have to fake any of that elation, she really is thrilled.

Shiro and Itona make another attempt on the octopus... Kaede is threatened just as everyone else is due to the fact she can't swim with the tentacles inside her. But thankfully, that incident manages to blow over easily enough, with Terasaka learning a valuable lesson. This was also the first time the class subconsciously learned that one of Koro-sensei's biggest weaknesses...is defending them.

The First Term Finals come around, and it's really just adorable with how close Kaede and Nagisa are, being on the same wavelength with reactions, like when Isogai first offers the chance to study in the library, and then when they all threaten the Big Five 'cause they were being dicks... XD They were both feeling bad for Ren hitting on Yukiko, and Nagisa was trying to warn her about Kaede's, um...book cover sliding off.... (๑╹ω╹๑ ) "Puddings of the World", eh, Kaede-chan? Nagisa and Kaede did their best on the exams, but in the end it was Rio, Isogai, Okuda, and the Terasaka gang that scored the highest in various subjects. This earns them the trip to Okinawa from A-Class.

Okinawa's a pretty big adventure for E-Class, because they come together as a group to try and take out Koro-sensei... Unfortunately, it doesn't work out because of his Absolute Defense Form. Still, it's quite a thing to see the class operate as a unit, and when Nagisa was blown into the water, Kaede was pretty quick to bring her boat over to him~ And they're both deadpan when Karma's sadistic nature rears its head again with Koro-sensei so...vulnerable, in that ball. Everyone's pretty bummed about failing again, but it did get some good data.

... Unfortunately, the hits keep on coming. Takaoka contracts some professionals to poison some of E-Class, and he wants Nagisa and Kaede for the handoff of the cure. Nobody's really eager to send them in there alone, however, and the remaining members of the class come together to save their ill classmates.

Scaling the hotel, there's a few adorable hints for NagiKae. They're just...very much in sync, and are glued to each other's side. They don't understand Fuwa's fourth wall-breaking gimmick... They're pissed like everyone else when Koro-sensei comes off as whimsical and way too carefree for a guy stuck in an indestructible ball... They're impressed with Karma's growth as a person...though slightly terrified of his sadism, too.... And then Nagisa goes in with the girls to infiltrate the club, and he's not too happy to be forced to crossdress... The girls just carry on, however, and leave him at the mercies of Yuji. ... Thankfully, Kaede comes back for him, though, and everyone's deadpan with Yuji trying to woo them with his...dance skillz. Or lack thereof. They get through the party floor, but Nagisa's still uncomfortable with the whole experience, feeling like he didn't really do anything. At least Kaede tries cheering him up, insisting Yuji's better off that Nagisa was there with them. It is a tender moment for Kaede and Nagisa... though of course, Karma spoils the mood with having a pic of Nagisa crossdressing.

After getting past the sniper in the auditorium, they reach the top floor and discover it was Takaoka behind the whole thing. He calls Nagisa out for screwing up his life (not really Nagisa's fault, and the others do stand up for him as they should), and demands to face Nagisa one-on-one if they want the cure for their friends. Kaede shows a lot more emotion this time, and rightfully so; last time was just a training exercise, more or less. But this time? Takaoka isn't going to take chances. Nagisa will definitely get hurt if he goes up to that helipad, and Kaede's frightened for him. ... But Nagisa feels he can't refuse. He needs to play along, at least until they work out a more concrete plan for taking Takaoka down. Kaede's uneasy, and she can certainly protect Nagisa if she wanted... But again, that would involve revealing herself. She holds herself back...barely.

... Takaoka forcing Nagisa to apologize on his hands and knees probably was a real test of Kaede's patience... Just saying~

It's brutal for everyone to watch Nagisa get beaten down in a one-on-one fight...but it's especially crushing for Kaede. She was there after Aguri was killed, she didn't watch her sister slip away. But here...? There's a very good chance Nagisa could die. The beatdown is just the start, but when Takaoka goes to pick up the knife, makes that psychotic declaration of carving Nagisa up and savoring his screams... Kaede just can't take it anymore. She needs Karasuma to shoot Takaoka. She manages to hold it together and not intervene, but damn... If Takaoka cut into Nagisa with that knife, that might've sent Kaede over the edge. There's no concrete proof of that, but she's definitely getting emotional over Nagisa's pain and torment. Kaede's hysterical, but that's because she's lost someone before, and she doesn't want to suffer another loss.

Mercifully, Nagisa turns the situation around with the technique Lovro taught him before the trip. He uses Terasaka's stun gun to beat their enemy, even if the victory becomes bittersweet with Takaoka's unconscious body crushing the remainder of the antidote. For Kaede, though... she couldn't be more relieved if she tried. Nagisa pulled through again, and he just keeps getting better in skill. A part of her must realize, deep down, that she doesn't want to risk Nagisa... So as good as he's getting, as happy and proud as she is to have his support.... There's probably a part of her that wants to handle the assassination alone. To not endanger Nagisa further. After the dust is settled and they're relaxing on the beach, Kaede confides in Nagisa that she's glad he can handle himself... but she really worries about him. And that's the truth. At least Nagisa's sorry for worrying her...

Can't get away with an anime series without a "love scandal" episode~... I think it's awesome Koro-sensei picks up on the close bond Nagisa and Kaede share, and pair them up. He just... He just knows! XD Nagisa's as dense as Mister Karasuma, but Kaede definitely has a soft spot for the blueberry~... Of course, Koro-sensei's scheme to "inspire romance" in his students royally backfires, but it's still a fun excursion that results in them all trying to hook up Professor Bitch and Mister Karasuma.

... You know Kaede is pushing hard for that ship. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Leave. Nagisa. Alone. (๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )(๑╹ω╹๑ )

Their time in Okinawa comes to a close, and they return home for the remainder of their summer break. But they all end up coming together again for the summer festival, and it's nice seeing Nagisa and Kaede pair off again. For Kaede, it's probably been a while since she got to enjoy a festival, if she's ever gone out for one at all (with friends, anyway). She plays games with Nagisa, enjoys yummy food, and watches the fireworks with everyone~... All in all, a good memory for Kaede and Nagisa.

Soon enough it's September, and Kaede decides to make an assassination attempt, to make sure she's "contributing" to the cause and not drawing attention to herself. Of course she has to center her plot around pudding... It's so... Kaede. (๑╹ω╹๑ ) Nagisa gets to support her for once, and it feels...melancholic for him. Like, he's happy to, there's no mistaking that. ... But I think the ultimate reason for his subdued presence in the episode is that he's down on himself again. Because Kaede's stepping up, and she's showing that she can be a leader very easily... something he would struggle with. From his perspective, Kaede's miles better than him, even if he did pick up the Clap Stunner. Kaede's just...capable. But he never vocalizes any misgivings he has, that's just not Nagisa's style. He thinks his insecurities are, well...not that big of a deal. Kaede would disagree, but you get the picture.

In the end, Kaede is on the verge of ruining her own plan, because her love for pudding wins out... but Koro-sensei sniffs out the trap, defuses the bomb, and save some pudding for the whole class. Kaede's overjoyed despite the inevitable failure, and she's tickled pink with Nagisa's admiration of her. Even teases she has more that she's hiding, but I think that's just the result of how...happy Nagisa makes her feel. It's endearing that Nagisa can have this effect on her~

... Though, she can do without the "Forever Flat" label that Yanagisawa gives her... She's really, really bloodthirsty about that moniker. (๑╹ω╹๑ );;;;;;;;;;

Before long, Itona's formally recruited into the class, bonds with the boys. They start developing their parkour skills... They go to support Isogai at his part-time job with the diner, but man...poor Nagisa. XDDD Tries to bring up middle-aged ladies dote on him too, and the girls (Kaede included) are flippant about it, despite admiring Isogai for it... lol It's probably Kaede messing around, or going overboard with Isogai's gentlemanly aura... But, it's for the humor, so....

The Big Five blackmail Isogai with his part-time job, and challenge E-Class to a pole-toppling competition. The boys manage to come together and win. Then the accident with Principal Matsukata happens, and E-Class helps out at the daycare... Kaede's actress side oozes out with the stage play, and Nagisa tries tutoring Sakura... and finds he has a knack for it. He inspires Sakura to change, to think outside the box when faced with bullies at school... That on top of renovating the daycare is enough to win Principal Matsukata over and let him forgive E-Class for the mishap. E-Class doesn't do so well on the Second Term midterms... but there's time to turn things around again. :3

The Reaper incident happens not long after this. Nagisa and Kaede's group are assigned the task of getting a grownup gift for Professor Bitch's birthday, and it's nice to see these two have a moment like this~ Makes it feel less one-sided with the bond they share.

Of course it doesn't take the flower salesman long to reveal his true colors, and mock Nagisa and the rest for being taken in. Kaede's giving Nagisa a sympathetic look the whole time the Reaper is talking down to them, and... I think it's really a clever detail to throw in there. Yes, Kaede is concerned for him, but it goes deeper than that. Kaede was duped as well, but moreover, she's also putting on an act and fooling the class... Kaede feels some guilt over that, at least when Nagisa's involved. Seeing Nagisa's devastated expression is a grim omen of what Kaede's in for, when the truth comes out - at least, that's what Kaede fears. At this point, she doesn't want to lose Nagisa's friendship... But she also can't give up on her revenge.

E-Class tries to battle the Reaper on his terms, with Professor Bitch at stake... but naturally, their enemy doesn't play fair, and he's leagues above them. Dispatches them as easily as swatting flies. Another good moment, however, is when the Reaper hurts Kaede; it's another test to keep her mask in place, but moreover, Nagisa is incited to take action because of Kaede's pain. It goes to show that, even without romance, Nagisa cares a great deal for Kaede. He tries to take care of the Reaper... and gets soundly defeated. Everyone's rounded back up in the cell, and it's another neat detail that Kaede's over by Nagisa, fretting over him again. If she'd exposed herself and beat the Reaper, she could have spared Nagisa the embarrassment of defeat...and she didn't. Frankly, she's lucky that the Reaper didn't kill Nagisa, so she's taking solace in the fact they're both alive.

Thankfully, Koro-sensei and Mister Karasuma come to save the class. Karasuma makes amends with Professor Bitch, and the Reaper is defeated. The next "threat", however... well, we finally dig into Nagisa's background.

Nagisa's indecisive about his future, what career he should settle on... He knows his mom's plans for his life because she won't stop going on about them, but as for himself, beyond assassination he just doesn't know what else he'd be good at. We were kind of overdue for this conflict, because we've been in Nagisa's perspective for a while, but we've never understood the struggles he's had to face. We got a taste of it, back when we saw his dad and they revealed Nagisa's parents divorced a while ago. But then it just took a backseat to everything else going on, until now. Nagisa's mom isn't happy that her son is stuck in E-Class, and she wants to go as far as bribing a teacher to get him higher up the social ladder. Also, she has this obsession with dressing him up like a girl, because she wanted a daughter...not a son.

This is the first time Kaede's learning about Nagisa's home life. They don't go into much detail with her own reactions, but it's clear from what little we see that she's paying very close attention... And later, some of the class eavesdrops on the meeting between Koro-sensei and Hiromi, and Kaede and everyone else are overwhelmed at how angry Nagisa's mom can get... Again, not much is shown from Kaede's perspective, but in a way... the lack of information is a possible clue of how she's...feeling. I mean, eavesdropping on that parent-teacher meeting gave Kaede a real life expose of what Nagisa goes through on a daily basis. That... wouldn't make anyone happy to know their friend is going through something so hellish. Kaede won't do anything at the moment because Koro-sensei is handling it... But I imagine if Nagisa continued suffering after this episode, she'd kick up a fuss about it; she still wouldn't expose the depths of her real feelings just yet, but she would damn well do anything to help her friend. Because... she did nothing when Aguri was dating Yanagisawa, and look how that turned out.

Fortunately, Nagisa's home situation gets...resolved, with a little further assist from Koro-sensei, and they just drop the issue that Hiromi tried burning down the mountainside campus (not to mention all the previous abuse Nagisa suffered)... Not exactly a warm and fuzzy resolution as far as giving Nagisa a truly stable home life, but the boy genuinely loves his mom, and wants his parents to get back together. She's at least acknowledging him and letting him make decisions...

The Fall Festival takes place soon after, and Nagisa gets a little further confirmation his mom will support him... she just doesn't want to let him go yet. Kaede's reactions are glossed over again, but she's probably happy for her friend... for the most part. Probably still holds a grudge for the past abuse, but Kaede's obviously not gonna show that. She's supposed to maintain a cheery, bubbly persona.

Soon after, the Second Term Finals occur, E-Class lands in the Top 50. Principal Asano tries assassinating Koro-sensei and gets his life turned around, accepting E-Class as they are... The Drama Festival goes on, and then... we get to Kaede revealing her true colors.

Even though she set up this trap to isolate Koro-sensei, it's a little telling that she uses Nagisa as her... bait for the octopus. It's a complex decision on multiple levels. For one, she's letting her fondness for the blueberry get away from her again - she really cherishes these moments with Nagisa. But also... she takes this trap as her last opportunity to reminisce with him. Because once she starts fighting Koro-sensei, there's no going back. There's also the fact that she trusts Nagisa the most out of the whole class; if she involves anyone in her trap, at least Nagisa won't bungle it up somehow. ... Maybe even a part of her, deep down, hopes that Nagisa talks her down from this scheme. Unfortunately, Nagisa's presence is not enough to deter her. The tentacles demand she take action... and she does. In the process, though, she does hurt Nagisa... both physically and emotionally.

It's too late to turn back, however. She reveals her identity to the class after she fails to kill Koro-sensei right then and there. She splits off to recover and make her preparations for her real attempt at killing the octopus. Meanwhile, the class puzzle over the fact that she's Haruna Mase, Nagisa is especially vexed as to why she hid behind him all this time (he privately wonders if he was just a tool to her), and want answers from their teacher... But he won't tell them until Kaede is back with them. He needs to save her.

The next confrontation with Kaede is still just as cold and disheartening. She's set on this path because the tentacles aren't giving her a choice, but she's also a little bitter how quickly everyone forgot about her sister... So she's not completely separated from the situation at hand. Kaede tries dismissing Nagisa's wounded expression, puts on airs that all this time meant nothing to her... But I think that's because she has to. We've seen numerous times, Kaede hates seeing Nagisa hurt... Yet here she is, a grand, duplicitous avenger. Betraying him. In her own way, she's probably trying to give him closure, inwardly accepting that she selfishly severed their bond, accepting that he should hate her... It's easier to lie and say it all meant nothing, because if she allows herself to become conflicted now, there's no way she'll be able to kill Koro-sensei. She has to harden her heart and give this her all.

... Even if it costs her life. Nagisa is alarmed at how far she's willing to go, but she's barely listening at this point. The tentacles have just about fully taken over, and she's giving this assassination everything she's got. Itona points out it's too late, talking her down won't do anything; they've got minutes until she's dead. Koro-sensei knows this well, and deep down Kaede's hoping that he'll save her.

And this is where it all comes together. They have to distract Kaede from her bloodlust by any means necessary, and Nagisa has that flash of inspiration of how to save her without hurting her... He'll use what Professor Bitch taught him, way back. But it's not just a mechanical, knee-jerk reaction... Even Nagisa knows how deeply intimate kisses are. And he privately reflects on him and Kaede... This kiss is Nagisa making his decision to trust in the Kaede he's come to know all this time. He absolutely refuses to accept it was all a lie... Nagisa might not dare to speculate about the full depths of his emotions for Kaede, but it's indisputable that all of their time together has made him truly treasure their friendship. I would even go so far as to say he loves Kaede. On many levels. He's bonded with all of his classmates, but Kaede's bond feels... especially powerful. She's been by his side the longest, given him confidence, fretted over him... Nagisa might hesitate to admit any romantic feelings he may have, but that's because the kiss was... forced on her, and he's anxious that this is enough to really ruin what they have. More than that, Nagisa still has this doubt in him about why girls would fall for him romantically. He figures Kaede can do a lot better than him, so he focuses on what this action might've done to the bond they have.

... But Kaede, oh Kaede... She finally wakes up from a long dream. Here she is, throwing everything away for the sake of revenge... Throwing her friends away. Throwing Nagisa away... And this boy comes right up to her and kisses her. Refusing to give up on her despite being so hurt by her betrayal. Kaede's completely caught off-guard, and rightfully so. She's shocked at Nagisa's resiliency, such a huge heart he has... But it's not just Nagisa. She's... floored how overwhelmed she feels. This kiss has snapped her back to normal, put her back in the driver's seat instead of the tentacles... And Nagisa keeps kissing her, even after she's back in control. He's not shying away. He's daring to be close with her, intimate with her. For once, she feels this genuine connection she's built up with Nagisa... and it's just too much. She's trapped in this euphoria, this love, and she doesn't want to escape. Nagisa can never replace Aguri, but seeing him risk his life like this... for her... Establishing their bond was, is real... Kaede doesn't understand what's come over her, but damn if she wants it to stop. She's spellbound, and just lets Nagisa save her. After 15 Hits, Nagisa breaks the kiss, and Koro-sensei extracts the tentacles from the lovestruck girl.

Even after Kaede wakes up, she's stunned that Nagisa (and everyone else) is worried about her. He conveys in words this time what she's done for him, why she means something to him... And he makes a plea with her to listen to Koro-sensei's story. Kaede can't really say no to that... because she can finally abandon the act. She can finally be real. Just real. She's here, and she doesn't want to leave.

They all hear Koro-sensei's story, and then Kaede goes to rest at the hospital for the winter break. I'm guessing that this is the first day she's allowed visitors, otherwise Nagisa wouldn't be making this nervous apology about the kiss.... He's uncertain if he should stick to calling her Kayano, or switch over to Yukimura, and Kaede just accepts 'Kayano'. Kayano's the one that built up a rapport with E-Class, not Akari Yukimura. ... Though I'm sure she wouldn't mind changing that. Everyone's been so lost over the break, wondering what they're gonna do from now on, and Kaede feels guilty about forcing this on them... Yet like the sweetheart he is, Nagisa comforts her, refusing to let her blame herself. It's all fun and games until things get real. She's caught off-guard when Nagisa apologizes for the kiss, and she spaces out, unable to look away from his lips... (๑╹ω╹๑ ) But then she snaps out of her lust-filled haze and forgives Nagisa, 'cause... he really did save her. ... And she has no earthly idea of how to handle these repressed emotions inside, so she hides under the blankets so as to not worry Nagisa further. Not wanting to embarrass Kaede, Kanzaki suggests they let her rest, and they take their leave.

... Kaede is left scrambling to calm herself down, because she still doesn't understand why that kiss worked so effectively. This whole time, she was focused on her revenge, focusing on remaining in peak condition... And Nagisa brought her down with a kiss... The thing is, these feelings have been building up for ages. She's only just now become fully cognizant of them. She underestimated Nagisa, and she underestimated herself. All this time, her heart's yearned for someone special to fill the void left behind by Aguri, and Nagisa is definitely the closest person she's been to for months... Sure, it was originally because of her "cover", but Nagisa became her friend through and through. Her best friend. She had fun with him, got angry alongside him, cried alongside him, worried about him, admired him. She became truly alive, capable of moving past Aguri's death... even if she didn't want to. Nagisa was everything she aspired to be, the best assassin in the class... But it wasn't just his deadly skills, Nagisa had such a big, warm heart. He uses his skills for saving people, places everyone else above his own wellbeing...

Nagisa Shiota terrifies her, but in a good, warm and fuzzy way. Kaede really has no idea where this love began or where it'll end... But she's here. She's here because Nagisa and Koro-sensei saved her... All she can do now is...play the part of his friend. She's not sure she deserves that honor... But she'll live because Nagisa fought so hard for her sake. And she'll fight for his sake now. It's only fair.

A chance to begin repaying Nagisa arrives soon enough... The class is divided on what they should do about Koro-sensei, whether they should save or kill him. Kaede makes her choice and sides with Nagisa, because all-around this is an excellent way to redeem herself. She was so dead-set on killing him before without knowing all the facts, and Koro-sensei still risked his life to save her...both he and Nagisa did. She has all this freedom, and she absolutely wants to support the people she loves. The guy her sister loved. And...the guy she loves. It's just a win-win for Kaede.

However...to her dismay, Kaede gets knocked out without shooting any of Red Team. Still, it is nice to receive that affirmation by Okano that whatever happens, they'll stay united as a class. No more masks, no more hidden agendas. It's a weight off Kaede's shoulders, but she still wishes she properly helped Blue Team... In the end, it comes down to Nagisa vs Karma, and Kaede knows the kind of person Nagisa is. He won't take an easy victory over Karma, he wants Red Team to understand where he's coming from. ... And that tenacity and grit pays off, because Karma returns that courtesy. Kaede fretted over Nagisa again...but it all worked out.

They organize a hijacking of a trip to space to get data they need to possibly save Koro-sensei. Nagisa and Karma take point as representatives of the two teams, and Kaede's content to keep giving her support. Nagisa and Karma make it back in one piece, and everything's fine... The risk of Koro-sensei exploding is less than 1%.

The year's not over yet, however... February and entrance exams arrive, and with them comes... Valentine's Day.

At this point, Kaede's feelings have peaked. There is no way she can love Nagisa more than she does now... Kaede has mulled over these feelings for a month, and she's certain it's Love, wholly and completely. At this point she can't keep it to herself... She needs Nagisa to know... But she's so anxious about what she should say to him. She's played roles, studied it... But this is her first time truly experiencing this powerful emotion. That's why she went all this time not knowing what Nagisa meant to her - she was honestly as dense as he was. She's probably anxious about how he'll respond, but more than anything... She wants to convey her heart. Tell him so many things... She's tongue-tied.

... Karma and Rio butt into her conundrum, and at first she's defensive... flustered beyond her wildest imagination when she sees the two Demons preserved that kiss for posterity... She can't hide anything in this state, and she grudgingly accepts the troublemakers' help. They do some recon on their classmates, see how the other girls bestow chocolate, and the ultimate takeaway is...just be yourself, Kaede. Say what you need to say. Karma promises to keep Koro-sensei busy as long as she had that...gift prepared. It all comes down to Kaede now...

And she does. She tried. Standing in front of Nagisa, words escape her as she frets over the little things, like how she looks, feeling flustered when Nagisa shows concern over her silence. She delays the confession and asks what he'll do after Graduation. She is genuinely curious... And without saying directly what he wants to do, Kaede understands right away. He wants to be a teacher, she's seen him look up to Koro-sensei and the way he admires their teacher for everything he's done for the class... Of course Nagisa would want to go down a similar path... He knows better than most kids, there's always going to be children in need. Children without a good role model to follow... Children that just need someone to care. Kaede was one of those kids, too. Everyone in E-Class was like that. Kaede's further impressed with Nagisa, and awed into silence yet again...

Nagisa is unsure what has Kaede so lost in thought, and he cares enough that he doesn't want to disturb her too much. He'll wait as long as possible, but...he briefly looks away and gets distracted by Koro-sensei up in a tree. Without even thinking, he withdraws his gun and aims it... but Koro-sensei's out of range. Much to Nagisa's chagrin. For Nagisa, it was just a moment of distraction. Kaede was still the priority for him... he wants to hear what she has to say...

However, Kaede understands everything now. The reason she was initially attracted to Nagisa... It was that unwavering, straightforward focus. His drive. His commitment. His bloodlust Kaede can't take this away from Nagisa, she doesn't want to distract him. Even after March rolls around and they move on, Nagisa's going to be busy with his dream. She knows from how hard Aguri studied and worked, teaching is a massive undertaking. It's...a good way to live, and above all else she wants to support Nagisa. She can set aside her own happiness, use her acting ability for something good for once... All this time Nagisa supported her without knowing the real her, and she wants to pay him back. She needs to. There's no way she can give him up completely... she'll stick around in his life, but she'll fade into the background.

Nagisa's confused when she gives him the chocolates and thanks him for staying by her side... And he's baffled when she starts pushing him along, ending their conversation as he tries to get a word in edgewise, figure out what her real feelings are... Eventually he gives up for now and accepts she wants to be alone, but I'm sure he leaves pretty reluctantly. If nothing else, he wants to convey that he should be thanking her... But she just won't hear it. She wants him to focus, achieve his dream.

After Valentine's Day, they strap in for the final part of the year... E-Class failed to assassinate Koro-sensei, so now the government steps in. Yanagisawa initiates his endgame strategy, using Koro-sensei's original student as a more refined "Koro-sensei". The teacher is outmatched for a while, but he does manage to hold his own... at least until his students are threatened. And then Kaede makes a foolhardy attempt to distract Reaper 2.0 and give Koro-sensei time to recover... It ends as you'd expect, getting stabbed so thoroughly and...dying.

This is enough to have Koro-sensei unleash his full power, but I noted how Nagisa was the one to scoop up Kaede, how morose he looked with her passing... It would've been nice to flesh that out more, but considering all that was going on, it's understandable that moment was kept brief. And besides... after Koro-sensei defeated his student and Yanagisawa, he did revive Kaede. So Nagisa has an additional moment to convey his joy and relief that she's okay... But shortly after they all celebrate, the time comes to send Koro-sensei off. If they don't... the government's just going to do it for them. It hits them all hard, Kaede and Nagisa included. But they get through the ordeal... The government rewards them, and they're allowed to graduate with their schoolmates from the main campus.

Time marches on. E-Class lead their separate, fulfilling lives. Kaede goes back into acting, and Nagisa becomes a teacher (well, a teacher-in-training). There's no on-screen development for these two, but they've at least kept in touch. Nagisa inherited Koro-sensei's spirit, and Kaede...has some interesting potential dreams~ Like having children... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Doesn't mean she's pregnant now... but wouldn't that be something~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hardly needs to be said... but I'll die buried with this ship (人◕ω◕) Kaede deserved better than holding herself back. Nagisa needed to open his eyes. But... It is what it is. Canon gave us more than enough to go on, and especially in the wake of Koro-sensei's death...they needed each other. Nagisa keeps Kaede grounded, gives her hope and love after losing so much... And Kaede's so... dedicated. Like she's already his wife and wants what's best for him, wants him to achieve his dreams. There's always room for a relationship once he becomes a teacher, but c'mon~... Even Karasuma and Professor Bitch got hitched. Had a kid. You're telling me in seven years, we're shown no signs of a deepening relationship for Kaede and Nagisa...? Sheesh. XDDD Japanese and their traditions... Well, it's fine. NagiKae wasn't shot down. So long as the potential exists... I'll sail with this ship forever~ So much chemistry~ So much love~

[thegreenishhues]

Thanks for the tag Ghost and Tiger CC:

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

One I made for fun a bit ago :DD

🍫 Cheese or chocolate? oooo chocolate but I love both!

✨ Do you have any nicknames? Irl yes. online ive been called rose a bit but almost always rosey

🎵 Last song you listened to?

Knotted constellations by Madilyn mei!!

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

Nope but I have thought of doing it a few times props to anyone who does its super cool!!

😏 Are you on discord?

yes!! I have been chatting a bunch on their recently with my moots CC:

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

My ears are pierced if that counts :)

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

Hmm I like what Ghost said, also how you treat strangers is a pretty good indicator to me of what someone thinks of themselves/ how they are as a person.

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

Maybe a snickerdoodle? I like snickerdoodles like a better version of a sugar cookie

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

A dog person because I have one but I love cats as well

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

Earbuds because headphones hurt my ears because of my glasses.

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

"That's... special" (about my friends Pinterest board lmao)

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

Most people dont give a shit what you do and so you should do what makes you happy. Not so much a weird fact as a thing I think about when Im worried my interests are weird lol.

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Night owl! I stay up very late when given the chance

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

Ooo anywhere? middle of a field or on a mountain C:

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

Yep, I am a lil gay goober how loves love c:

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

Trying. My. Best.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

Jeans but the really big ones that are comfy as heck.

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

Hmmmm not a huge starbucks but I like the cakepops and the hot chocolate :D

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

Orange funny enough but like REALLY bright traffic cone orange

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

My necklace from summer camp ig! it has a charm for every year ive gone >:D

☕ Coffee or tea?

Coffee but both are good :)

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

Lmao what?? How about a dodo bird they seem pretty chill

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

Over a year!! my anniversary is in February :D

🌴 Desert island item?

A working phone will cellular data for an emergency call get me off the damn island before I need to worry about surviving

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

Hmmm Ive been told I dress fairly "granola"?? Basically hiking stuff but Im honestly not sure lol

🔮 What’s your dream job?

Child psychologist or therapist although I do want to stream at some point in my life as well

💙 Relationship status?

Single lol I will date when I meet someone worth dating <3

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

Currently O.O just got home and it was pouring so pj pants and a t-shirt

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

Many many of them lyrics stick to me like glue for some reason but an example... let it go from frozen 1 becuase I watched that movie far too much as a kid.

🤎 What color is your hair?

Brown!

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

Yep!

💄 Do you wear makeup?

Some days :D

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

Oh gosh im not sure lol

💞 @ your favorite blog. oh gosh I dont think I can choose one but all of my mutuals you guys are my favorites >:D

Feel free to join in but im going to tag a few people!!

@sillygh0st @sevenzinha @leemontoast @artistnerd24 /np!!

~ 💖 ASK GAME 💖 ~

📷 What’s set as your phone’s lockscreen?

🍫 Cheese or chocolate?

✨ Do you have any nicknames?

🎵 Last song you listened to?

✏️ Have you ever written fanfiction?

😏 Are you on discord?

 💛 Do you have any piercings?

🐰 What do you think says the most about a person?

🍪 If you were a cookie, what kind would you be?

🐶 Are you more of a dog person or a cat person?

🎧 Headphones or earbuds?

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know?

🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl?

🧸 Favorite place to nap?

🏳️‍🌈 Are you a member of the LGBTQIA+ community?

🦋 Describe yourself in three words.

👖 Jeans or sweatpants?

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

🧡 A color you can’t stand?

💎 What’s your most prized possession?

☕ Coffee or tea?

🦖 Favorite extinct animal?

🌙 How long have you been on tumblr?

🌴 Desert island item?

🐸 Describe your aesthetic.

🔮 What’s your dream job?

💙 Relationship status?

🌿 Describe your favorite outfit.

🎤 Is there a song you know all the lyrics to?

🤎 What color is your hair?

💌 Do you talk to yourself?

💄 Do you wear makeup?

🌸 Best compliment you ever received?

💞 @ your favorite blog.

Reblogs are appreciated!

[drivingsideways]

Based on this excellent post and tags  by @frankdelfino, and thanks to @rain-hat yelling in the chat window for twenty minutes, here’s a not-fic outline in the universe where Jo Yeong and Jo Eun-seop are actually brothers. 

So here's how this goes. This is RoK verse, monarchies are passé, thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

- Jo Yeong and Eun-seop grow up middle class, and look like peas in a pod, have completely opposing personalities and can generally be trusted to get up to the WORST POSSIBLE SHENANIGANS ever known to a pair of long-suffering parents who've had the temerity to have not one, but two sets of twins. Anyways, Eun-seop is absolutely the one GETTING them into the shenanigans, and Yeong is the one getting them OUT of it, despite the fact that Eun-seop is older by 4 minutes

-Eun-seop loses a year at school when he gets into an accident at 14; a drunk driver, a bicycle, and Yeong just a little too far away to do anything but call the ambulance and hold his brother's hand right until they force him to let go as they rush Eun-seop into surgery. He holds it again, once he's wheeled out, and right upto when he wakes up so he doesn't wake up alone (he hasn't gone home in 48hrs, I'm fine, thanks eomma, you should go home to the babies, they'll be scared without you.). Anyways, Eun-seop wakes up, demands to know whether he'll have a cool scar from the surgery (before he demands to know whether he will be able to walk again) and Yeong's like you're never going to be as cool as me, now shut up and sip this water slowly.  Eun-seop recovers, and Yeong's there through every single physio session and taking extra notes in class, and recording videos surreptitiously, so Eun-seop can see how all their classmates are faring and also failing at everything, now that they're in first year of high school. (Yeong would have stayed back a year at school, but Eun-seop forbids it, and uses his Oppa-pass, which he only uses when he's really serious about something, so Yeong has to listen)

- Eun-seop notices that some of his videos begin to feature a rather weird looking dude, who can be seen hanging out with this one girl. Eun-seop knows Tae-eul noona, her dad runs that taekwondo academy two blocks away, right? And there was that one time when Eun-seop was being bullied and Yeong wasn't there that day, and noona had stepped in and scared those assholes away. Anyways, so yeah, he also remembers that there was this other guy with her, who'd also clearly been ready to throw down, if those goobers had put up a fight, but later, he just grabbed noona's hands, checked for injuries, and given Eun-seop some candy that he got out from his bag.

Anyways, so Eun-seop is like why do you have pictures of Tae-eul noona and her weird boyfriend, and Yeong snatches the phone away and mutters, THEY'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS, in all caps as though he knows anything about life or girls.

Oh my god, Yeongie, he says, you know she's way out of your league right? She's a senior? And like would absolutely beat you to shit, wouldn't need her weirdo bf to do it either-

HE'S NOT HER BOYFRIEND, Yeong says, loudly this time, as loud as the time when Eun-seop had replaced his hair cream with toothpaste and Eun-seop quickly recalibrates and gets it right this time, and he says, hushed,  Yeongie, my Yeongie, did you manage to fall for the one dude who'd give you a run for your money in "the person most likely to end up a serial killer" stakes?

He starts cackling so hard that his ribs start to hurt, and then his back, and Yeong (who's run away – RUN AWAY) doesn't come back to help him up. It's alright, Eun-seop will live, and also, he's gonna help his Yeongie get his guy, even if Eun-seop cannot see the attraction, and he thinks this isn’t going to work for many reasons, only one of which is that CLEARLY this dude- Kang Sin Jae, he remembers now- is in love with Tae-eul noona, which, props, anyone might see she absolutely kicks ass.

But the point is, the Jos are fighters, and he's damned if he's going to let Yeong slink away from this one.  

The next time he sees Yeongie- two hours later- they all have a bedtime in the Jo house, ok- he's like, fine, I'm sorry, and I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A SINGLE USEFUL THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD, so I got this for you, ok?  What do you know about him?

Turns out, Yeongie has a whole folder on him.

Eun-seop's proud of his little stalker baby brother.

Anyways, that's how Yeong learns enough about sound systems so he can turn up for the post when the school band that Kang Sin Jae plays bass guitar for advertises for a sound engineer.

He turns up for the "interview" in his neat trousers, and button-down shirt and Sin Jae says, uh, are you Jo Eun-seop's non-identical twin? Aren't you just a freshman, do you really- and Yeong says, quietly, confidently, I can solve that problem you're having when you play your arrangement of The Wizard and Sin Jae stares at him and mutters, but can you do anything about how only three people turn up to listen, and Yeong tilts his head, and says maybe? Also, Eun-seop and I are identical, just fyi.

Anyways, yeah he fixes the faulty wiring in the speakers at the auditorium, and also gets more than three people to turn up (so what if it's all a bunch of scared looking freshmen? They've all been paid more than enough to bang their heads in time to the music and cheer later.)

But he never does ask Sin Jae out, that entire year, even though these days, Sin Jae smiles when he sees him, and puts an arm around his shoulder sometimes, after a practice, what are you waiting for, Yeongie, did I raise you to be this much of a coward? Eun-seop wails, but Yeong is like, Sin-Jae-ssi would feel awkward at having to refuse me if I did, and he needs a sound engineer more than a boyfriend, and that's fine.

(He needs at least three shirts more, a hair-cut and perhaps better taste in music, Eun-seop thinks, but doesn't say, because he knows Yeongie's fragile like that. Yeongie can take anything anybody says about him, personally, and will brush it off or dole out appropriate punishment, but if someone comes after someone he loves, he'll break the knees of the person and leave them for dead in a ditch. And obviously, he can't do that with Eun-seop, so Eun-seop doesn't say anything, he's a good elder brother.)

- Sin-jae and Tae-eul noona graduate and both of them go off to KNPU, and Eun-seop says, listen, nobody does that if they're not dating, at least. IF NOT ACTUALLY ILLEGALLY MARRIED. Yeongie, please, for the love of god, find a boy who's available. See, here's a list.

But Yeong just shrugs, and says, let me see your homework (because Eun-seop's back in school now) and then proceeds to put red slashes through everything and says, "apply your brains Eun-seop, don't act dumb when you're not". THE AUDACITY.

Yeong never dates anyone through high school, Eun-seop dates a different person every month.

- So Eun-seop is never going to have to serve in active military duty, because of his accident, but Yeong will have to. He's fine with that, and he'd rather do it in these two years, just after school, because that way, it's only really one year when Eun-seop will be at college before him, and that's fair, it evens out Yeong's having to graduate from school first.

-So off he goes, and there he meets Lee Ji-hun, who's an ass, Eun-seop clocks that straight away, born into some goddamn chaeobol family, but for some reason drawn to actual military service, because he has a hero complex. The only good thing he has going for him, as far as Eun-seop can tell, his that he took one look at Yeongie and decided that he was the best boy in the whole universe, and that shows good taste, Eun-seop will be polite to him, fine.

- Of course, the other thing that happens in those two years is that Yeongie gets brainwashed into joining the Navy- it's not brainwashing, Yeong tries to tell him, I get to protect the people I love, the country I love. And of course, Lee Ji-hun, fucking asshole, is just sitting there, nodding along as though any of this was fucking REASONABLE. You could DIE, Eun-seop yells, DO YOU REALIZE THAT. WE'RE STILL AT FUCKING WAR.

Yes, says his stepford-wife brother, womb-sharer, soulmate, exactly.

- Anyways, off Yeong and Jihun go to join not just the Navy, which would be bad enough, but the ROKSWF, that's insane, they're going to die, and what can Eun-seop do then but go join the NIS and immediately get picked for North Korean Affairs by an astute senior officer who listens to Eun-seop goofing around in the canteen on the orientation day and still get everyone to give him their portion of the only decent thing on the menu- the crème brulee- and says, I'm taking that one.

- It's a lot of paperwork and dull as ditches monitoring work at the start, and that's ok, Eun-seop can live with that, it means he gets time with the other twins, who are at a fun age. And that's how Tae-eul noona and Kang Sin Jae re-enter their lives because Eun-bi and Kka-bi are learning taekwondo from Tae-eul's dad. This is also how Eun-seop meets the love of his life and future wife Myeong Na-Ri, and it's ok if she doesn't know it yet, at least Yeongie is not here to see him turn into a complete doofus everytime Na-Ri so much as breathes in his direction.

- Yeongie and Jihun come back on shore leave (AFTER TWO GODDAMN YEARS) and that's when Ji-hun meets Tae-eul and falls like a ton of bricks for her; she manages to keep her sense of balance and also life in order, thanks, she's not going to fall for some floppy haired dude (his hair grows really fast out of its crew cut) who thinks that parallel universes are a thing, even if he has extremely long legs.

Meanwhile Kang Sin Jae has also cleaned up nice, Eun-seop will admit, and he's-he's a genuinely nice dude, ok, even if a bit brusque, and when Eun-seop finds out about eomeonim's gambling problems and that whole story, he's willing to admit that he may have been a tad harsh on Kang Sin-Jae way back when.

Anyways, that's the past, right, Yeongie, I can't imagine what a bunch of men locked in a submarine can possibly do except have orgies, please tell me that's what you've been doing? Please?

"Shut up" hisses Yeong, and then practically jumps out of his chair when Tae-eul noona and Sin Jae come over to their table at Na-ri's coffee shop. Yeong's in his uniform- he was on his way back from some conference thing he'd had to go to despite his leave- so that was the saving grace, because Eun-seop sees the subtle double-take Kang Sin Jae does,  because let's face it, his baby brother is the most beautiful, it's true, but then Yeongie is also red in the face and says "toffee" instead of "coffee" as in "Won't you get some toffee, Sin Jae-ssi?" and Sin Jae gives him a blank look while he decodes that, (gay panic, Eun-seop wants to tell him, my brother is a panicked gay, go easy on him), and finally says, uh, I don't think they have that flavor here?

- God, Eun-seop says later, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU, BABY BROTHER. HAVE YOU BEEN IN LOVE WITH THE SAME BOY FROM HIGH SCHOOL? ARE YOU STILL A VIRGIN? (AFFIRMATIVE ON BOTH) and Eun-Seop has FAILED, FAILED, FAILED. Alright, he says, taking a deep breath, how long do you have?

Two weeks, says his stupid fucking brother, and so Eun-seop has to go into EMERGENCY-FUCKING-MODE because he may have to DIE getting it to happen, but his baby brother is GOING TO GET LAID, AND BY THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, EVERYONE'S FIRST TIME NEEDS TO BE SPECIAL OK, Ji-hun? Ji-hun nods, very seriously, and proceeds to describe his extremely un-special first time, and Eun-seop is like, wow, you probably don't know this, because you've got that puppy face that make people not want to hurt you, but every single woman you've ever slept with has faked an orgasm with you. Well, that discussion gets pretty heated, of course, and also comes to an abrupt end when Tae-eul noona pops in- she's come by to ask if they all wanna hang out and watch a movie this weekend- and look, noona's GREAT, and obviously the first person he needs on his ally list as soon as he makes sure she's not really in love with Sin Jae, because that would be bad.

"Hyungnim?" she says, surprised, when he asks, because Eun-seop knows the best way to get noona to answer anything is to play no games, and she says, "No, why?" and then, suspiciously, "Did that rat Jihun put you up to this?" And he says, absent mindedly, no I was asking 'cause Yeong, and noona yelps, "Jo Yeong can't be in love with me, shit!" and Eun-seop says, what, why, and that's how he finds out that hey, Kang Sin Jae may also have been a little into his idiot brother from way back when. "He was too young" Tae-eul noon confides, "Sin Jae didn't feel right about it, especially when he was graduating that year" and honestly, THIS IS THE SADDEST STORY EUN-SEOP HAS EVER HEARD AND HE'S WATCHED TITANIC FORTY TIMES AND CRIED EACH TIME OK?

- RIGHT. So maybe Eun-Seop and Tae-eul manage to get their idiot friend and brother a little push in the right direction. Well, noona basically goes to Sin Jae and says, for fucks sake, ask the poor boy out, I heard he's still a virgin for you.  And Sin Jae goes red in the face, and then green, because omg the PRESSURE, and then red again, and then ultimately does find Yeong one day at the coffee shop alone, as Eun-seop had assured him he would be - (Diligently reading some book? A recipe book? Italian recipes? Sin Jae may have mentioned one day that his favourite cuisine was Italian?)- and there's some part of him that melts, like the cheese on the cover of that recipe book, and he's like, uh, do you, maybe, and then rushed, I know this great Italian place, if you like, and yes, Jo Yeong would like very much.

- Jo Yeong returns to Jinhae Naval Command very much not a virgin, and Jihun returns still single, but undaunted by the task ahead of him; don't worry, Yeong-ah, he says, confidently, I'll wear her down, even if it takes me years, and Yeong knows Jihun, he knows how much of a barnacle he can be, and also it wouldn't be nice of him to shit on other people's happiness just when he's found his own, so he nods and says, yes, of course, and even listens to Jihun rhapsodize about Tae-eul noona's everything for about two hours straight. He texts Eun-seop at the half-way mark- kill me now, please-and Eun-seop is like, what's North Korea there for, then, I told you to dump his ass in the sea. But of course he won't, Jihun and he are ride or die, and it turns out dying is more likely in this case, because right about that time is when North Korea decides that it needs to remind the world that yes, they exist, and yes, the men that rule them are crazy fucks.

- What happens is this: Koo Seo-Ryeong is a brilliant pianist, who's one of the few DPRK citizens who's let out to see the world has disappeared with her mother and sister, while she was on tour in Australia. And look, she did it in Australia, it has nothing to do with RoK, except that Kim Jong-un has decided that it has, because her (estranged) father happened to be one of the top honchos in  DPRK military brass, and this was all clearly a conspiracy hatched across the border to get at him and the military secrets he knows.

- Eun-seop is there when the news comes in that there's a Sang-o class submarine in the waters at Jeongdongjin, and he's also there when it turns out, that yes, hello, they were trying to get the Koo family out, and he's also the one that gets a single line text from an unknown number that's the code he made Yeongie swear on everything they held dear that he would send if he was going behind enemy lines. Shit. Shit.Shit.

- OK, I confess, I don't know how this next part goes, reader, because I am not John Le Carre or whoever, and this is still NOT-FIC,  BUT SPY THINGS HAPPEN and at the end of the day, Eun-Seop has to choose between saving his brother and letting the Koo family back into the hellhole they'd just managed to extract themselves from, and listen, noona made him listen to Koo Seo-Ryeong's playing ok, and there's- even if she were a shitty musician, even if she were just some rat bastard politician or a fisherwoman- he knows he can't make a choice that is sending her back to her death, and the deaths of everyone she loves. And if he did, and if he did, just to save his womb-brother, his true love, his soulmate, his blood and bone and heart- why, he knows that Yeong would never forgive him, Oppa-pass or no. So he's gotta rescue Yeongie and save the Koo family AND STOP WORLD WAR THREE, good thing he's totally up to the task.

- MORE SPY THINGS HAPPEN AND HE SAVES THE DAY, OK.

- He does, and so this time he gets to be the rescuer, and honestly, this was a big one, and it totally evens out all the 15 million times in their entire lives that Yeong had rescued him, what does Yeongie think? Yeongie thinks he should shut up and let him sleep, and because he's a good oppa, the best oppa, Eun-seop curls around his baby brother in their too narrow bunk bed, just like they did when they were sixteen or ten or five or in the womb, and goes to sleep too.  

[colbybrocksmolder]

A Video To My Future Wife - Colby Brock x Reader

Colby set the camera up, taking a minute to gather his thoughts.

“Hey guys, as you can tell by the title, this isn’t a normal video. Remember a few years ago when Sam and I made videos for each other to look back on when we’re older? Well this is another one of those. Kind of. But today, I’m going to make this for you. And for Y/n. The love of my life. The most beautiful human I’ve ever met, both inside and out.”

Colby ducked his head, smiling at how giddy he was to finally share you with the world. “A lot of you are very confused right now, I know. And I’m sorry. I’ve kept this part of my life off of YouTube for well over a year now and honestly? I don’t regret it one bit. It’s been the happiest year of my life so far. I know in my heart she’ll continue to make me my happiest self until literally one of us ceases to exist on this earth. I hope I die first because I don’t want to think about a life without her.”

Colby sighed, looking past the camera for a moment before cracking a smile. “If Y/n were home right now, she’d scold me for being so morbid. She doesn’t like when I talk about dying. She’d pull me into her arms, start listing reasons why it’s a waste of life to think about death. On my more stubborn emo days, she clings to me like a koala. Not a word of a lie. She’ll wrap her arms and legs around me and just talk. She once made it to like reason #56 that she thought I was adorable before I finally agreed to shower and leave the apartment. There’s no escaping the infectious joy she has inside her. I have yet to meet a single person who isn’t happier around her. I know a lot of you guys freak out whenever you hear dating rumors about me or see me with a female friend, but guys...you’re going to fucking love Y/n. So much. A handful of you guys already know her and I want to specifically thank you for keeping our secret. I’m just waiting for the photos you guys took with us to spread like wildfire now that it’s out in the open.”

Colby smiled, pulling out his phone to look at a picture the two of you had taken with a group of fans. “I’ll put this picture up on the screen so you can actually see it, but do you see this goober right here in the skeleton onesie? That’s y/n. You’re probably wondering why we’re all in our pajamas with a bunch of fans…Well that’s just a tiny glimpse into how kindhearted, selfless, and loving this girl is. We met a family one day while we were out. The two daughters and their friends happened to be fans of Sam and I. While I sat and talked to the girls for a minute, Y/n was sitting talking to their mom. Turns out these two girls had been through quite a rough year. The mom said that YouTube was what really kept them going. Y/n exchanged numbers with the mom and over the next few months kept in touch with the two girls. When the older sister’s birthday rolled around, Y/n had an idea. She talked with the mom and set up a little surprise movie night so that we could celebrate with the girls and their friends we had met with them. Her and Kat went out and got these goofy onesies for everyone, loads of snacks, games... Sam, Kat, Y/n, and I showed up and surprised them. It was awesome. Better than any Trap House party we’ve ever thrown.” Colby laughed.

Colby stared at the picture for a few seconds before locking his phone and putting it back in his pocket. “At this point, I already thought that I loved her. I was already convinced I had found my forever…but seeing her take time out of her insane schedule to go above and beyond to love on two random fans…When I tell you I was in awe of her, I mean it. I was a blushing, sweaty palmed, nervous boy. All night. The girl’s dad even pulled me to the side to whisper a ‘you’ve got it bad, kid’ to me.” Colby’s cheeks blushed with a hint of pink.

“And honestly? I have no fucking clue why she puts up with me.” Colby laughed. ���I’m indecisive and clingy and moody. I can’t keep a schedule to save my life. I always need to be in control or I’m anxious or bail. And I never ever ever put my shoes away. I can’t tell you how many times Y/n has tripped trying to leave our kitchen because even though she’s asked me 200 times not to, I still leave my shoes right in the middle of the walkway. Yet every single day I find a new little note that she’s left me. Sometimes two or three on bad days. Actually, you know what? Be right back…”

Colby moved across the room to grab a photo-box full of papers. “Look at these.” He said, tipping the box to show you how full it was. He started reading some of them off. “Seeing you smile is my favorite way to start my day” “Your friends love you” “Your laughter is contagious” “You bring people joy” “Your ass looked great in those jeans last night” He laughed at that one, reading out one last note. “Strip away all of your fame and money and looks and what do you have left? The most accepting, honest, encouraging, and loving heart I’ve ever had the privilege of holding.” He stared at the piece of paper for a second before shrugging his shoulders and staring off into the other room. “Like I said, I have no clue what I did to deserve her.”

He moved to put the box back where he got it from and sat back down on the bed. “I know that a lot of you don’t like change. I know she’s going to get hate comments about loads of shit that either isn’t true or doesn’t matter. But do you want to know the truth? Neither of us care.” He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “We aren’t worried. We’re happy. And God does it feel good to say that because throughout my YouTube career, the amount of times I’ve been able to say that with a straight face are far and few between. Something to know before you start writing that shitty hateful comment…Y/n is never ever going to reply to you with hate. It doesn’t matter how mean you are to her. It’s just not in her. She’s too loving. She’ll probably apologize that you feel the way you feel and then treat you with perfect kindness. She goes out of her way to build people up. So, remember that before you’re too quick to try and tear her down.”

Colby heard the apartment door open and made a wide eyed ‘oh shit’ face at the camera. “Hey, baby! Are you home?”

“In here!” Colby called.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She apologized, seeing that she had interrupted him filming.

“Don’t worry.” Colby smiled up at her, reaching his arms out to invite her to sit on his lap for a moment. “I’ll just edit it out. What’s up?”

“This girl just moved in right above us and I want to go help her get settled. Her friend bailed on her and we have that bottle of red wine we’re never going to drink. Do you mind if I grab some snacks and the wine and go help her?” She asked, pressing a kiss to Colby’s cheek.

“Of course, I don’t mind, babe.” He slipped his arms tighter around her and kissed her lips. “I’ll text you when I’m done to see if you guys need help with anything heavy.”

“You’re too good to me.” She said, sliding off of his lap.

“I love you!” Colby called out after her, hearing her pack a bag full of snacks and grab the wine.

“I love you more!” he heard her call back. The apartment door closing behind her.

“I’m definitely not editing any of that out.” Colby laughed, looking back at the camera. “But do you see what I mean? That was a perfect example. One of like a thousand I could share. She so effortlessly walks into people’s lives and does whatever she can to help them.”

“I just realized you guys have no clue how we met.” Colby shook his head, laughing to himself. “So, you know those overnight videos we do with TFIL? Well we were once again being complete idiots and trying to sneak into this massive indoor sports arcade type place. Everyone had hidden except for me and I was about to get caught. I had climbed over this massive basketball free-throw cage thing and I was going to drop down behind it when the manager of the arcade started walking towards his office…right next to where I was hanging. This girl and I made eye contact and she recognized who I was. She obviously knew what I was up to. She started to laugh but quickly realized I was about to get caught. When the Manager went to step by her, she ‘stumbled’ into him and pretended to faint. Throwing in an ‘I don’t feel good’ right before hitting the ground for good measure. Her distraction gave me enough time to drop down behind the machine. When I peeked through the bars, I saw her ‘wake up’ and ask the manager if he could show here where the ski ball was like nothing had happened.” Colby snorted rolling his eyes. “She wasn’t the best actress on the planet, but she sure as hell had my attention. I spent the whole night annoying the rest of the guys trying to figure out how to find her and thank her. Talk to her. Turns out, it was easier than I thought. When we finally left at like 5 am, there was a little torn piece of paper tucked under my windshield wiper that said ‘you’re welcome’ and her phone number. Needless to say, I didn’t go to bed. I ended up meeting her at a diner where we talked so long, we ate both breakfast and lunch before parting ways. I’m usually a listener, you know? I know people see me in videos and think I’m crazy and loud 24/7, but I’m honestly usually the shy quiet kid sitting in the corner, people watching, and hoping no one notices me. But when I sat in that diner…I couldn’t shut up. It’s like she was pulling words out of me. I felt very…comfortable.”

Colby looked to be thinking about something for a moment, a soft smile on his face. “This video is partially for her and partially for you guys. I wanted to be able to introduce her before she just randomly started showing up in pictures or in videos. I didn’t want rumors about me ‘maybe’ dating her. I kind of wanted to spill my guts and talk about her to you guys because she’s the most important person in my life. And she doesn’t let me dote on her much, so I figured this was a good way to get it all out” he couldn’t help but smile. “I know you guys are going to love her. I know it. And I know she already loves all of you. It’s going to take her some time to get used to all of the attention, but I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to share her with you.”

“Y/n.” He faced the camera, speaking directly to her. “It would be impossible to list all of the things you’ve changed in my life. I know it sounds sappy as shit, but when poets say weird stuff like ‘the trees just looked different after meeting her’ I get it, now. It makes total sense to me. It’s like you reached down deep to the worst parts of me, shined a light on them, and loved me anyways…and I will never be able to actually explain how much I love you…But I will spend the rest of my life trying.”

[abdicatedarchive]

Sleepover at Chase’s || Wren, Chase, Jonah, Jesse, Stevie

The boys (Stevie included) have a sleepover at Chase’s. 

@chrysolites @jessekxller

Chase: Chase had pulled out a few air mattresses and put out a bunch of wine and mixed drink stuff plus snacks for the boys. He had facemasks in the bathroom, but he was going to wait until everyone was drunk to bring that up. He heard a knock at the door, "It's open!" he called out.

Jesse: Jesse was nervous for the sleep over, he had never really done one, he had slept over at Liv's, but that was different. Jesse opened the door with a smile. "Hey!" He said talking in. His one goal of the night was to be the one that didn't sleep. The boys couldn't find out about his night terrors. "Melissa sent me with some snacks."

Jonah: Jonah hadn't been feeling too great in general and it seemed like it was starting to become pretty obvious so he was glad to have this sleepover as some kind of distraction. He smiled at Chase as he walked into his friend's place. "Hey." 

Stevie: Stevie also came along shortly after with decorative baggies that her parents made for her friends. What goobers. "So I also got snacks... but my parents made these so like, maybe don't eat them. They might not be great."

Wren: Wren came in and plopped down on the couch and let out a sigh, "sorry boys, I was in the car texting my girlfriend" he said with a cocky smile. Wren was just so happy.

Chase: Chase greeted his friends excitedly, "Thanks for coming everbody, and thanks for all the extra snacks. We're eating good tonight" said the boy with a big smile on his face. "Should we play something?" he asked.

Jesse: Jesse playfully rolled his eyes. "No need to brag. There are singles in the room" He said as he looked over at Chase. "Yes, I'm ready to pig out." He said as he plopped down on the couch

Chase: Chase put his arm around Jonah, "Dude I am so glad you're here" said Chase, making sure to carve out some good time for his buddy. "I was worried you wouldn't make it" he added.

Stevie: Stevie went in to give Wren a high five, "I'm happy for you, man." she said with a big smile. "Right in time for the holidays too. It'll be a fun Chrismukkah for you." she nodded her head, proud that she remembered the lil name. "Here, pig out on this." Stevie smiled sarcastically at Jesse as she handed him the shitty vegan treats. 

Jonah: Jonah smiled at Chase, "Of course I'd make it. If we're playing any kind of video games, I needed to be here to kick your ass in person." he jokingly said. They were both evenly matched when it came to the games.

Chase: "Oh ho ho" said Chase with a laugh, "You're on my terf now. You better bring your A game" he said with a smile, it would be a fair fight no matter what.

Jesse: Jesse caught what Stevie tossed his way. "Oh!... look at that. My IBS is acting up. Can't eat this." He said tossing it over to Wren. "For you, my king."

Wren: "Vegan treats?" said Wren with a smile, "Tell your mom I love her" he said to Stevie as he put them down anyways. He would eat them if it came to it.

Jonah: "I always do, Chasé." Jonah said in the accent, laughing afterwards. "So what are we playing first? Unless you meant games as in truth or dare?" he asked as more of a joke, but knowing Chase, that could definitely be a possibility. 

Stevie: Stevie frowned when the baggies started hopping around. "You guys are gonna take them and you don't have to eat them but I will tell my parents you loved them."

Wren: "What would we even ask in a game of truth or dare" said Wren to the group, "I feel like we already know everything. Unless one of you guys is harboring a secret child" Wren laughed.

Chase was SWEATING.

Jesse: Jesse looked over at Chases alcohol collection. "Why don't we play a drinking game?" He suggested. "Guys, Its me. I fathers a illegitiment child. I've been hiding him from you this whole time." He said playfully.

Chase: "Yeah let's play a drinking game" said Chase, acting as normal as possible. God, this was too much for him.

Jesse: "You got a deck of cards?" Jesse asked moving over to the locked closet with hidden baby stuff. "Do you keep them in here?"

Chase: "That's the Hale's storage. I have no idea what they keep in there" said Chase passing Jesse and grabbing cards from his room. "Got a specialty deck right here, it's dr. who themed" said the boy as he put the cards out on the table, "What should we play?"

Jonah: Jonah laughed, "That's actually where he keeps his secret child." he said, just trying to play along with the joke. A fool, indeed. "I'm up for a drinking game though."

Chase: Chase laughed along with everyone, his heart racing. He did not enjoy this joke at all. Fuck Wren Bishop and his mun. "Kings cup?" he suggested, grabbing a beer for the middle.

Jesse: "Ah, the Hales can't even give you your own complete space." He said with a laugh. "Maybe he does jo," Jesse knocked on the door. "Secret child, are you okay in there?" He smiled. "Kings up sounds great. Love that game.

Stevie: Stevie nodded in agreement, "Sounds good to me." she said with a smile.

- They played Kings Cup - 

Jesse: Jesse put a card under the tab, it was getting pretty full and the can was to bust any second. As he slipped it under, the can busted so had to remove the cards and chug. Luckliy the game was a sucess and they were all pretty drunk now. Jesse finished off the can and looked around now that the game was over. "Brosssss, that was so much fun! I feel amazing." The boy said with a slight slurr to his words

Jonah: Jonah wasn't very used to drinking, but he did every once in a while at the parties. "It was fun. I need to have more often." he said, his words slurring. 

Stevie: Stevie leaned back with a big smile on her face, "Dude I feel fucking great too. This is just what I needed, what we all needed am I right?" she asked looking around at everyone in the room. "Shit has been getting stressful and we deserve a good time."

Jesse: Jesse laid back on the floor before he started laughing for like a minute straight. “Jo jos drunk” he said as he pointed over to his twin. “Steeves we all did need this. I love a good de stresser. And getting to hang with the boys”

Wren: Wren was sitting and texting Chanel like a whipped piece of garbage, "Hm?" he said looking up to process that Jesse had just said Jo Jos drunk. Wren let out a laugh, "I'm just glad we can have a nice drama free night" said the boy drinking a little bit of water.

Chase: Chase went to his room and grabbed two lightsabers and threw one to Jonah in the living room, "You have allowed this Dark Lord to twist your mind until now . . . until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy" said Chase holding up the saber to fight Jonah.

Jesse: "wrenny boy, you look to sober, drink more." JEsse sid moving closer to the boy. His attention was distracted by the lighsabers. "I am so videoing this" He said with a laugh as he took out his phoneNovember 29, 2020

Jonah: Jonah caught the lightsaber and smiled at Chase. He knew what the fuck was up. "Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, justice, freedom, and security to my new Empire." he got up and walked towards Chase, holding the lightsaber up before they began to duel.

Chase: Chase was smiling such a goofy smile, "Your new Empire?" he said as he waited for the next response. After that he replied, "Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic ... to DEMOCRACY" he said as they were dueling. It was an epic battle, and Chase was laughing so hard from all the alcohol in his body and how much fun he was having. He hadn't had fun like this in so long. The democracy line was also his favorite.

Jesse: Jesse continued to laugh as he watched the boys battle, getting it all on video. Though he was nver a big star wars fan, he had seen one or two of them before, not enough to really understand what they were saying. "Wack him with the glowing stick!"

Wren: Wren smacked the back of Jesse's head, "It's the final battle from Revenge of the Sith" said Wren, "and those are light sabers you fucking nerf herder", ashamed that Jesse was the way he is.

Jesse: Jesse shook his head. "Yall assume I was allowed to watch tv while being trapped in the dungeons of hell, I mean foster care? Funny." Though not every house was bad, there was competition for the tv remote at times and a lot of kids, when there even was a tv

Wren: "Damn debbie downer" said Wren a little drunk, he took another swig from the liquor bottle, "We're planning a movie marathon next" he added.

Jesse: Jesse downed his beer and stood up on the couch. "I'll show you what it was like." He said before letting out a laugh as he leaped onto Wren, tackling him to the floor. "Wrestle!"

Stevie: Stevie picked up Jesse's phone and continued filming all the battles. "Take his top off!" she yelled as a joke, as she started laughing.

Wren: After a few minutes of wrestling, Wren got Jesse into a headlock, "Dude I did wrestling back in Cali" said Wren letting him go.

Jesse: Jesse and wren went fo a few minuted till it seemed that Jesse was at his witts end with a big loss. Jesse tapped on the floor as Wren let him go. "Did you wear the man leotard?" He asked with a laugh.

Jonah: Jonah tried holding in his laugh, "Don't make me kill you." he said with enough passion. And the Oscar goes to... "If you're not with me, you're my enemy." he stated as he continued the light saber fight.

Chase: The scene continued and they played through the whole battle. "It's over, Anakin. I have the high ground" said Chase as he stood on the couch, Jonah on the ground. He pretended to cut his limbs off and yelled, "You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you."

Wren: Saphira came out of Chase's room and Wren scooped her up immediately, "For your information, yes. But there is no photo evidence sorry" Wren said with a smile as he started petting the cat. He sat back down on the couch and was just petting her, "Saphira, I'm gonna steal you" he whispered to the cat.

Jesse: "What? Not a single photo? What a shame those leotards make you look hung." He said with a laugh. "Awe thats a cute cat." JEsse said but didn't get any closer

Jonah: "Shit, give me one second." Jonah said, breaking character. He sat on the floor and placed the lightsaber beside him before pulling his arms into his shirt so it looked like he had no arms. He moved from side to side as the sleeves on his shirt flapped around, cause no arms. Then he got back into character and acted as if he was screaming.

Chase: Chase was cackling at how funny this all was, they had done this seriously once before. But it was most definitely better drunk. "Somebody got all of that on video right?" he asked the room, finally looking around. "And how are we feeling ... about some shots? ... and maybe some face masks?" Chase joked, well let's be very clear. Chase was not joking about any of it.

[inspired-by-the-music]

Show Off (Jungkook)

Requested by @pwersona. Requests are encouraged

Genre: Fluff

Summary: You are an idol & you surprise your boyfriend during his vlive

It was rare for you and Jungkook to have the same day off. However, much to your own disappointment, you had to respond to his desperate texts, which were begging you to hang out with him, with the fact that you had already made plans with your best friends months in advance.

And Jungkook understood how your busy schedules as an idol separated you from your friends. At least he could steal a few moments with you at an awards show, or you could be ‘coincidentally’ required to host the same show, or he sneak backstage at your concerts or vice versa; meanwhile, your friends had to settle for texts and short video chats. So Jungkook replied simply with a “have fun :)” despite his deepening frown.

He could have tried to distract himself from your absence by tagging along with one of the guys on their venture into town. He was sharing a hotel room with Taehyung, after all, who didn’t fail to notice his forlorn expression. But Jungkook didn’t really feel like darting from art exhibit to art exhibit, so he quietly rejected Taehyung’s invitation. Besides, what if you finished your plans early? As pathetic as it sounded, Jungkook clung so desperately to the possibility of seeing you that he couldn’t convince himself to leave the room.

After a while, his video game got too repetitive, and he found himself thinking of you. Needing a task that would require his full attention, and therefore limit his longing for you, Jungkook decided to start a vlive. With ARMY to keep him company, his day would surely improve. Right?

At least you were enjoying your shopping date with your friend. In fact, you had so much fun retelling old jokes and reliving old memories that you didn’t check your phone until you were in your friend’s car, on the way back to your hotel (which ‘coincidentally’ was also Jungkook’s hotel). Your heart leapt at the notification that Jungkook had started a live just a few minutes ago.

“It’s Jungkook, huh?” Your friend giggled at your awestruck expression, and she laughed harder when you hissed for her to be quiet so you could hear the love of your life.

Jungkook was blushing into the camera. “Ah, why is everyone asking about my Y/N?” He asked, causing your own face to glow scarlet; as your face was illuminated by your phone’s brightness, you had no doubt that your friend was stealing amused glances at you as she navigated back to the hotel.

“I miss her so much. And I miss all of you— even though we just had a concert a few days ago. There’s not enough time for me spend time with everyone I need to see.”

Your heart, along with the heart of every ARMY watching the broadcast, soared as you beamed at the boy through the screen.

“Wait— all of you want to see her too? Should I call her?” Your heart pounded as he reached for his phone, his other hand resting over his chest. “No, I shouldn’t. She’s spending time with her friend.” He determinedly sat back in his seat with a rueful grin. “Maybe if we all wish really hard, she’ll finish her plans early and stop by to visit.” Jungkook flashed a hopeful thumbs up.

“Y/N, please tell me you’re going to crash that boy’s vlive,” your friend begged as she stopped her car at the door to the hotel.

You jumped out of the passenger seat so quickly, you almost missed her words until you heard her teasing laughter. “Yeah, yeah,” you waved your hand dismissively. “Thanks for the good time, and text me when you get home.”

Without wasting another second, you raced to the elevator. And once you pressed the number of Jungkook’s floor, you rifled through your purse for the key he had given you.

To say that Jungkook was surprised when you wrapped your arms around him, after tiptoeing into the room, would be an understatement. Rather than screaming, he drew a deep breath; and when he turned to see you smiling brightly, he broke into his own bunny grin.

“Jagi, I didn’t even hear you come in!”

“Well, I wanted to surprise everyone.” You eased into the small space next to Jungkook. As he wrapped an arm around you to ensure you wouldn’t slip off the chair, you added cheerfully, “I caught some of the live show in the car, and I heard that everyone wanted to see me.”

Jungkook blushed at the realization that you heard all his embarrassing rambling about missing you and wishing for you to visit. Still, he admitted, “Yeah. Everyone’s had a bunch of questions for us.”

It wasn’t your first time doing a live show with Jungkook, so you were particularly gifted at ignoring the few negative comments in pursuit of the positive. “Ah, I see. Here’s one. ‘Jungkook, what’s your favorite thing about Y/N?’”

“Her face,” Jungkook answered immediately, much to the disapproval of yourself and the many viewers. “What? What’s wrong with that? I think you’re pretty!”

“Thank you, but that’s incredibly shallow,” you laughed despite your flattered blush. “If someone asked my favorite thing about you, I wouldn’t say your abs or your thighs.”

Still, Jungkook smirked at your compliment of his muscles. “Okay. Fine, Y/N, what’s your favorite thing about me?”

“Stop chasing compliments.”

“I’m not!” He whined, but it was only half-true. “Give me an example of a good answer, that way I can rephrase my answer.”

“Fine,” you conceded after scrolling through the viewers’ questions. “But only because they want me to.” You bit the inside of your cheek as you carefully phrased, “I love how modest you are, even though you’re insanely talented. You’re always willing to listen and learn from everyone around you. But my favorite thing is how you can go from being the shyest person in the room to being a complete goofball.”

Jungkook was staring at you, wide-eyed, when you finished your tiny monologue. “I— sorry I called you pretty.”

“I also really appreciate your remarkable gift for putting your foot in your mouth,” you laughed. Then, glancing at the camera you said, “Y’know, I meant that figuratively, but he can probably do it literally too.”

“Okay, first of all— my favorite thing about you is how patient you are, especially with me. Even when I do something dumb, which is often, you’re really nice and you give me the chance to grow from my mistakes. Also— actually, I’ll tell you more about this later, I have to hurry up and get to the second thing.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine, whatever.”

“When you said I could ‘probably’ put my foot in my mouth—”

“Oh my gosh—”

“Was that supposed to be a challenge? Because I can totally do it. If you wanna argue about it, I can just prove it to you.”

Again, you turned your attention to the camera. “I doubt your admiring audience wants to see you shove your foot in your mouth, Jungkook. That’s hardly attractive—”

“Look, Y/N, there’s an audience for everything these days—”

“It wasn’t even a challenge, you goober. It’s amazing how your brain can interpret anything as an invitation to show off.”

Laughing was the worst thing you could have done, honestly; Jungkook reacted by launching immediately into an attempt to prove that he could, in fact, defeat your challenge.

“Okay, everyone, Jungkook has lost his mind,” you said as you stepped in front of the lense to defend the viewers from Jungkook’s unsightly form. “I hope you’re having a lovely day or night, and I hope you enjoyed this brief live, before our boy descended into complete madness—”

“Look, Y/N,” Jungkook’s voice was muffled. “I’m doing it!”

And as you turned around, simultaneously amused and appalled by the extent of Jungkook’s competitive nature, you wondered how you had fallen in love with such a boy.

[lokilickedme]

Okay so I promised a bunch of pics from ScotFest 2018, and I’ve been stuck posting from my phone for the last two days so - sorry for the delay, but here we go with the good stuff.  It’s long, but stay with me, you’re gonna enjoy this mad trip.

First, let me say this.

FUUUUUCCCCCCCKK.  I knew I was gonna be having McClary flashbacks the whole time but it started out ridiculous and just got worse as the day went on.

The moment we pulled up the first thing that stepped into view was a dude in an anarchy tee shirt with a kilt and Docs and long black hair strutting down the sidewalk.  If Chem!Tom was Scottish...oh wait a sec, didn’t he say at some point that he was a bit, on his mother’s side?  Works for me.  So anyway, we arrive at ScotFest and walk the long way to the shuttle bus pick-up with a bunch of kilted guys and an elderly couple dressed in ancient clan clothing (they looked awesome).  And before we even get off the bus at the festival grounds, we’re blasted with bagpipe music as a full regalia marching pipe band parades past the entrance.  Something smells REALLY.GOOD. and off to the left of the entrance is a field where two Mol-pups are chasing sheep around while their shepherd whistles commands loud enough to split your head open.  Yep, McClary flashbacks, right off the bat.  And big Scottish athletes are throwing things that don’t look like they were meant to be thrown, though the biggest and most impressive athletes on the field are the females who are using pitchforks to hurl big bags of sand backwards over their shoulders over a bar that’s about 20 feet above their heads.  Big is looking at me like “What the hell, mom??” so I tell him the ancient Scots were farmers and they made games and competitions out of their farm chores.  He’s like “No, I mean why are you breathing so hard?”

No comment.  Did I mention that the females were really impressive?  Good start to the day.

So we move on past the games into the main festival area and everywhere are man-knees.  I’ve never really paid much attention to man-knees before, but to be honest they’re kinda...hot.  I don’t even know why.  And there were so many of them...hundreds and hundreds of man-knees on open display, it’s almost like I shouldn’t be looking but they’re RIGHT THERE all over the damn place and I feel like a pervert scamming peeks.  And calves.  Man calves.  Not normally a fan, but there were some good ones on display.

The first thing we did was hit the tribal music tent and it was over for me before it even got good and started...because on the stage inside the tribal music tent was THIS Scottish god:

Don’t worry, the picture quality will get better.  So we settle in to enjoy the music and this guy is eating up the stage and spanking the shit out of that drum, and then he starts blowing on a flippin’ didgeridoo (yeah, a nine foot long Australian horn, don’t ask me why but omg that man’s lung power was making the ground rumble under our feet and all I could think was how that skill might carry over, if you know what I mean).

Suddenly I’m really interested in nine foot horns.

A really cool thing about hitting the afternoon shows was the fact that you could go right up to the side of the stage and nobody cared.  So I did.

Physically painful, let me tell ya.  I could just almost look up his skirt.

That horn is vibrating the ground where I’m standing and I’m actually relieved when he switches back to the drum because all that vibration has shifted my panties about two inches to the left and it’s getting uncomfortable.  The drum isn’t much better though, and neither is the view from where I’m standing - he’s a big stout bull and I’m three feet away from him while he beats that drum to a whimpering death.  I could reach out and tickle his bare knee if I felt like getting divorced.

So I go back and sit with my guys again and he starts doing this:

KNEES.  I mentioned man-knees before, didn’t I?  Well here, have a pair.  I’ll post a video later of what he did to this poor little drum, and to his own thick neck - because I can’t even describe it, and you know words are my thing.  He played his freaking adam’s apple or something, I don’t even know.

There were actually two other musicians on the stage with him, but I sort of forgot they were there.

There were also lots of adorable father/son kilted combos present - and yep, a bagpiper rounds out the onstage trio.  But again...man knees.  The ones on the left specifically.

So the show ends after a lot of insane drumming, war cries, didgeridoo blowing, bagpiping, and a really nasty little ditty about a girl who’s been touched so much she’s smooth as a stairway bannister (followed by an anthem to an unhealthy relationship that proclaimed “I’d rather be drunk a thousand years than be sober one minute with you”).  Nice, guys.

As soon as their set is over we leave the tent to go wander around, but most everyone else stays because it is as hot as the freaking surface of the sun on this day and the tent is like an oasis on Mars - which means when the band comes out to let the next band hit the stage, we’re pretty much alone outside with the bull and his two stagemates (sorry backup drummer and bagpiper, you guys were awesome and I loved you but didgeridoo guy vibrated my panties two inches to the left, you know how it is).

Anyway, we’re outside at the merch tent and Husband is buying something and I look up and nearly slam bodily into this:

Drummer/didgeridoo guy.  I vaguely recall yelling to Husband during the deafening noise of the show that he looked like Aquaman, and when I end up face to face with him it’s confirmed.  I think it’s the cranky eyebrow.

I also get to ogle the piper’s bagpipes up close and personal, which was hard to do as didgeridoo guy - whose name is CJ - is standing right behind me while I ooh and ahh over this weird thing, and he’s laughing at me for reasons unknown:

Maybe it was the stupid comment I made about squeezing the bag?

And then the three of them pose for a pic:

Goobers.  At this point Little walks up to them and they all sort of huddle around him and start laughing (Little has light-blindness and has to wear special shades outside so he was half blind and I think he rammed right into the guy with the hat), so I hand my phone to Husband and go to get him.  When I get close, didgeridoo guy puts an arm the size of a tree trunk around me and hugs me up next to him while the other two are tickling Little.  Husband starts snapping pics with my phone, but no, I’m not sharing them because 1) my face, 2) Little’s face, 3) shellshock at being touched by this stud ox without having initiated it myself, and 4) the look on my face clearly says MY PANTIES ARE CROOKED AND HIS SWEAT IS SOAKING THROUGH MY SHIRT AND PHEROMONES PEOPLE OMG PHEROMONES I’M IN PAIN HELP I MAY BE PREGNANT

Yeah, he was drenched in sweat from jumping all over that damn stage schlepping a drum that probably weighed more than me.  My hand was on his back and it came away soaked.  You can consider that a euphemism if you want, it works both ways.

Also - red boots.  Urgh.  And then he goes like this:

Boy was solid as a whiskey barrel, let me tell you.  We came back later to listen to another band and he was out there again, and the girls from the face painting tent had lured him over and braided his hair.  He looked flippin cute.  And by cute I mean Jesus Wept.

So before this turns into an exclusive didgeridoo guy fest (too late, yeah I know) let’s move along to this fine specimen that I found at the blacksmith tent:

Ladies and gentlemen, meet King McClary’s work kilt.

Dude was nice from the front too:

Definitely an Auchinleck, for those of you familiar with The McClary Chronicles.  Check out the tattoo.  And he was making maille battle armor, which I got to touch.  It didn’t shift my panties quite as hard as the drums did, but there was definitely a quiver.

This guy was at the tent next door to the armor tent, making I dunno, bong pipes or something and he was hilarious:

And then there was this guy, listening to ballads in the historical folk music tent and looking all angsty and authentic, like his love just died of a fever and his crop failed so he joined a ships’ crew to find his fortune in a faraway land but the damn boat sank fifteen feet from shore and now he’s just fucking stuck in Scotland and contemplating becoming a villain:

And he was glaring at my child, I don’t know why.  Prissy prick.  I was hoping to see his dick but he was so anal he tucked his kilt under his ass from the front.  Definitely a villain.

After a couple of teary ballads about wailing winds and failed crops or whatever, I dunno, I wasn’t listening because I was too involved in trying to see Prissy Prick’s ballsack, we wander over to the Highland Dance competition and walk in on this:

We’re in there for all of about twelve seconds before Big starts giggling, then Little starts giggling, then I start giggling.  We promptly leave the Highland Dance competition tent, because these girls really worked hard and I don’t want to get arrested for being a dick.

We go watch the Mol-pups chase the sheep around, because nobody cares if you disrupt the proceedings in the middle of a field full of sheep.

And then we watch some more of the Highland Games, in which guys threw stuff while making the best faces I’ve seen since that time Husband wanted to try setting the mirror next to the bed:

Yeah, we giggled.

After that we went back to listen to some more music, because damn.  Scottish rock is da bomb.  Heard a punk band that Husband immediately fell in love with, so I guess we’re evensies on the lusting after Scottish musicians thing now:

Dude on the bagpipes grinned like that through the whole set, I think he was puffing something out of one of those tubes.

And then we walked out into the big freaking middle of about four billion of these:

Noisy effers.  And they don’t stop for anybody - we literally had to jump out of the way because when they paused in front of us, they went into this formation thing and backed up right into where we were standing.  Had to grab Little and yank him up off the ground before he was trampled by some dude wearing a dress and giving an octopus a blow job.

Turned to look at a woman sitting next to us a little later and watched her pull a dagger out of her sock and shine it on her kilt like she was getting ready to go assassinate someone in the crowd.  We left soon after, so I didn’t get to see it go down.  I hope it wasn’t the didgeridoo player, he was cute AF.

All in all it was an 11/12 day, marred only by the outrageous heat and the fact that I’ve been off my supplements and medications for a week in prep for surgery on Tuesday, so I was exhausted and my blood’s gone back to being water again.  We didn’t stay as long as we would have otherwise, but we had fun and experienced a lot of weirdness - I ate haggis on accident, Husband sat down with a plate and I thought it was meatloaf (it was good and I didn’t die, so bonus) - and I got to spend the day surrounded by all the clans that tried to assassinate Thomas The Fucking Marauder.

We’ll be going again next year.  Husband is a descendant of one of the border clans, so he’s heavy into this...and of course you all know what my connection is to it :)

Let me leave you with a picture of a guy about to bullrush a scarecrow.  I don’t know why, I didn’t ask.  Scotland’s weird, ya’ll.

[destiny-islanders]

FFXV x KH Headcanons That I Have But Probably Won’t Doodle Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You know how sometimes in FFXV when you’re out in the woods next to animals that won’t attack you, you end up hitting one by accident while you’re fending off MTs?

SORA DOES THIS AND IT RUINS HIS LIFE

HE HITS AN ANAK. 

NOT JUST AN ANAK

AN ANAK CALF

He uses a Megalixir on it… Gladio is ready to End Him for wasting that on a stupid-looking giraffe cow!!!!

(Ignis: “Prompto, Noctis, go distract Sora while I take some of the mother’s meat to cook for dinner. I’ve come up with a new recipe, and the secret ingredient is ATTEMPTED INFANTICIDE.”)

While we’re talking about Sora and killing things– he doesn’t like to kill bugs. That puts him at odds with Noct and Prom on multiple occasions. Those two are the embodiment of those Internet memes depicting people burning their houses down to kill a single crazy-looking insect. Meanwhile Sora is over there feeling guilty about accidentally stepping on a snail

A talking cricket capable of reading and writing lived in Sora’s hoodie for like two years okay HE HAS A SOFT SPOT

Yes Sora is that guy to catch a spider and let it outside

Yes Gladio has killed bugs that Sora wanted to save while he scrambled around trying to find a paper towel… because yeah. He doesn’t want to touch that creepy crawly with his bare hands, even if his motives are Pure

“BORIS THE SPIDER! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Sora is able to see Gentiana and Carbuncle without the use of a camera

Cue the bros using Sora’s Actual Sixth Sense to their advantage by having him guide them to make silly poses with the invisible deities

Noctis can’t believe Gentiana plays along. What a good sport.

Sora checking his phone during one of Carbuncle’s visits and beginning to giggle uncontrollably

THIS LITTLE FLUFF BALL HAS THE DIRT ON EMBARRASSING CHILD NOCT STORIES

Noct: “How tf did he get your number”

Since Sora is a couple of years younger than everyone else (I headcanon him as 17/18 when he first comes to Eos), Ignis and Gladio are Very Protective of him

Honestly it’s like Sora has four big brothers

Gladio is floored by the fact that Sora is more or less a self-taught swordsman

He still helps train Sora because technique is important

He swells up with So Much Pride when he catches Sora using a move he’d taught him during training on an MT

Gladio is so excited to take Sora to try his first meal of Cup Noodles

Sora ends up being a bit of a purist; he doesn’t like meat or veggies– just ramen and broth.

Ignis is baffled by nearly everything Sora does and how nonchalantly he does it

This kid can jump nine feet in the air and even executes a fussy little flip when he does it wtf

Oh, well. At least Sora can pick those fruit over there by jumping and reaching so no one has to climb the tree and risk a broken neck

(Noctis: “I didn’t break my neck, Specs– I sprained my wrist!!”

Ignis: “Which wouldn’t have happened if you’d been more careful.”)

Sora is dared (hmm by whom?? I wonder…….) to prank Ignis by putting a rogue ingredient into the stew one night.

He and his cohorts (you know who they are) watch Ignis do a taste-test nonchalantly 

Who am I kidding they are totally obvious as they try to stop themselves from laughing

Dunno why you’re laughing, though, boys– that’s your dinner you’re sabotaging

Ignis is obviously disgusted by what he tastes. He stands there for a moment… and then he fumbles around in his pack for new ingredients

You bet your ass Ignis salvages the stew. In fact, it actually tastes better than before?? “I’ve come up with a new recipe, and the secret ingredient is ATTEMPTED SABOTAGE.”

Don’t ask Sora what the rogue ingredient was, Ignis. He’s not from around here and wouldn’t really know a Lieden pepper from a Duscaean potato

Prompto caves and tells him

The next day… how strange… it seems that Ignis only made enough dinner for himself and Gladio to enjoy… looks like it’s time for Toast for the Culinary Saboteurs

Ignis drags it out for a bit before giving the boys their share.

Noctis reminds Sora of Riku a lot.

Yes, by that I mean he tries to have a cool exterior but is actually a Giant Goober

Noct fishing while sitting at the end of the pier with Sora, long after the other bros have lost interest and wandered elsewhere

Long talks about friends and hopes for the future

Noctis feeling a little guilty because Sora seems so… comfortable with the burden of protecting not just one world, but a whole bunch.

Meanwhile, Noctis is reluctant to accept a king’s responsibility. He never asked for this. He just wants to be… normal.

Sora eventually admitting to having doubts about why the Keyblade stayed with him, and quietly wishing for the day to come that the worlds won’t need a single Keyblade master.

Turns out the two of them have more in common than Noct first thought.

Noctis trying to reel in the DEMON FISH from the VR game and Sora is in such a panic and so desperate to help that he PUNCHES THE MONSTER FISH IN THE FACE and BREAKS EVERY KNUCKLE IN HIS RIGHT HAND

Prompto and Sora are BEST FRIENDS and honestly IT HAPPENS SO FAST

Prom gives Sora some photography lessons and lets him loose in Galdin Quay

He ends up with a memory card full of cat photos of various angles and degrees of blurriness

Somehow a local reporter overhears Sora talking with Prompto about his intention to take a photo with every single Kenny Crow statue in Lucis and ends up having a little article published about him. Just seems like one of those slice-of-life stories that the media would eat up

They use one of Prompto’s photos of Sora and Kenny for the newspaper!!! It’s on like the 85th page nestled into a corner, but he’s!!! Officially!! A published photographer!!!

In the long night, there are several instances that find Prom and Sora on a hunt near a Crow’s Nest they never had a chance to visit during their road trip. Taking a photo is a matter of obligation at this point

Prompto scrolling through the Caw, Kids! It’s Sora Crow! folder and tearing up as he starts from the first photo and scrolls forward. By year seven of the long night, Sora’s smile as he stands under Kenny’s wing doesn’t reach his eyes

Starscourge!Sora headcanons that aren’t completely miserable??? Look at them, hanging out above the angst cut????

It eventually gets to the point that Sora’s left eye glows in the dark like a nightlight

Prompto finds himself using the glow of Sora’s fuckin’ daemon eye to try and read the map after his flashlight’s battery dies

omfg

It’s just so absurd that the two of them burst out laughing

It’s the first time either of them had laughed in a while. It felt… nice…

Gladio pressing a hand over Sora’s eye when they’re trying to sneak up on a daemon because it will give them away

Prompto’s response is to give Sora an eyepatch he swiped from the clinic for their next hunt

Sora: “I always wanted to be a pirate as a kid. Who says dreams don’t come true, even in this horrific post-apocalyptic hellscape”

Also Sora: “Srsly Gladio I can see better in the dark with this eye maybe don’t”

Head into the misery dojo if you dare under the cut

Uh-oh. It is.

Pls don’t think about Sora desperately trying to break into the Crystal after he discovers that it’s dragged Noctis inside of it.

The Keyblade’s strength depends on the heart of its wielder. He should be able to cut through this! He can cut through anything!!!!

It takes a very long time before Sora or any of the Chocobros leave that chamber. 

Yes they stay there for days hoping beyond hope that Noct will come out

During the long night, Sora becomes a daemon hunter and a team leader for a group of search and rescue teams

His first retrieval mission ends… badly. The people who’d sent the distress signal were long gone by the time Sora and his team got there

One of the kids was in mid-transformation after being afflicted with the Starscourge…

Sora can’t land the fatal blow. He goes outside and throws up while Dave finishes the job

Search and rescue missions are a source of extreme anxiety for Sora after that… but he has to try and save as many people as he can

Sora tries not to think about Riku, Kairi, or any of his friends beyond Eos. It hurts too much. He tries to put his Wayfinder in a shoebox in his apartment to avoid its constant reminder of what he’s lost… but he just can’t bring himself to part with it

He wishes he did when he takes a nasty spill into a ravine during a solo mission two years into the long night. Smashes his Wayfinder into pieces.

He’s too injured to climb out of the ravine, too. He gives up after a couple of attempts and just gathers up the pieces of the good luck charm that he can. He just lay there in a heap and watches the stars

Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio hear about Sora’s disappearance and team up for the first time in almost a year to find him

They make it in time. Lots of potions and a piggyback ride to safety courtesy of Gladio see our dorkupine boy right

Prompto notices Sora throw something in the trash before leaving the clinic and finds the Wayfinder pieces. He knows what the charm represents and how devastated Sora must be that it’s been irreparably destroyed.

He gathers up the pieces, puts them in a pouch, and leaves it on the table in the kitchen of Sora’s tiny apartment. He leaves a note, too: I know they haven’t given up on you. So don’t give up on them.

A few days later, Sora gives Prompto, Ignis, and Gladio each a piece of the charm. So that all of us will find each other, in the end

Noctis takes a piece of the charm with him to the throne

[life-in-a-labrynth]

Kinda drunk right now but I feel like spilling out my feelings that have built up, I mean why the hell not? I found myself in the nth moment of feeling disturbed and afraid and hugging my elbows just a minute ago. I don’t think I’ll go all into why I’m disturbed but let’s at least give an update, yeah?

Okay so this might be an interesting dynamic but in my last post I was worrying about whether this girl Laura was basic or not. Okay let’s be a little kinder and say, whether we’re compatible. So I finally went on a real goddamn date with her and guess what? she fat. That whole “average weight” thing on okcupid was a sham. She just set her profile up a couple days before she met me (purportedly) too, so okay, guess she’s a liar or in denial. And ya know, sorry to be a hardass about the weight/looks thing, but you know, it’s important to me to be physically attracted to someone, okay? And what does it say that she’s deceitful about that?

In any case, more I wanted to unpack. So now I went on a date and yeah, she fat, and I thought about how we had the phone call and after it was over I felt kinda meh, because it didn’t feel like she stimulated my brain. She talked about this and that and yeah that’s cool and all, but she just didn’t seem to be operating on a high octane teh brain galaxy bullshit that I wanted. And yeah, hate to say it, but Dawn. I remember having a convo with Dawn about Game of Thrones and Martin’s method as a writer and how a character of his had felt ambivalent and even resentful about having a son and it was a good fucking conversation. I didn’t have that with Laura.

Should have gone with my instincts and not second-guessed myself. I wanted to believe that I was just bullshitting myself and this could be something good, can’t I just accept a good thing? Maybe I’m being overly critical, like Dawn was with me.

But eh, nah, not really. Look Dan, you’ll *know* when you feel thunderstruck. Kayla had better convos with you about politics. Laura didn’t even talk about politics, just a bunch of halloween bullshit and serial killers and blah blah and I guess we had some good conversations but it just didn’t stimulate me and make me think like some of the others did.

Like for christ’s sake, look at... I can’t remember her name, but we went for a walk in Wissahickon and I felt like we had really good conversations about racism and maybe I was blowing a lot of fucking hot air about Jonathon Haidt and she probably thought I was an obnoxious, droning goober, but damn it, it felt fulfilling! That girl didn’t feel basic. Maybe I was an obnoxious, droning goober, but I had the opportunity to be, because the conversation organically went to interesting political topics, not some other bullshit about whatever Laura was talking to me about.

And so yeah, it felt pretty decent to talk to Laura for 4 hours on the phone, but it just didn’t fulfill me the way that talking with Lis did, who on our first date, we talked for 6 fucking hours. For the love of god, why did I fuck that up? Ugghh... it was probably the right decision, I shouldn’t let my own loneliness get in the way of things. I shouldn’t regret a decision I made when I wanted so much and tried hard in good faith to make things work with Lis. But it just wasn’t natural. It’s not that I didn’t want it, it’s that it wasn’t working.

Okay, anyway. So I had the date with Laura and the moment I dropped into her car and set eyes on her I thought “oh no, nah, sorry, this ain’t gonna work.” We had a nice date and we chatted and ate french fries and mozzarella sticks and talked about serial killers and whatever other nonsense. I brought up free will on a concept but she didn’t really engage with it, bleh.

So yeah, okay, fine. It’s mean to say, but yeah, sure. Basic. That’s what she is. Good on her for going into nursing and trying really hard at it and getting good grades, though (yeah, she hasn’t even started nursing school yet bleguk lol) but whatever, stop judging you asshole.

Sigh. Okay. Sorry. Let’s get back on track. So I said soiya to her and she was cool with it. I felt kinda bad because I could see she was disappointed when I told her that I didn’t think we had a romantic future together, but she took it fine and said she hoped I found what I’m looking for.

And but so that ended, and I did what I always do and hit up dating websites and probably try way too hard. Hey Dan, try Tawkify, The Elite (or whatever the fuck it’s called) and Hinge next, because at this point it just feels like you’ve exhausted the possibilities on the other sites.

Tinder: no one’s fucking responding, except the one girl who was just a few messages.

OKC: same, except literally no one is responding. Why did they like my profile to begin with??

Bumble: Same exact thing. Matched with 4 women, extended all 4 of them, nothing. Messaged some other girl I had chatted a bit with, nothing. Messaged some other girl who said before she wanted to meet up with things felt “safe-ish”, but truthfully it’s been like 5 months so whatever, that’s fine and makes sense, but all the same, nothing.

idk OKC has always been a pretty good source to meet women but it’s just low, low, low quality these days. Like 14 out of 15 women who like my profile aren’t attractive, let alone that 90% of the rest just sound basic. Probably higher, like 99%. When was the last time that I felt thunderstruck? With Gina. But she was kinda crappy at convo, like she wasn’t even trying.

It’s all so frustrating and disheartening. I feel like there was more I was going to say. About how I became way less forgiving towards Laura after I found out she was fat. I was glad to slip into the conversation, organically, that sometimes people don’t look the way they do in profile pictures. I hope she took that to heart. Don’t put “average” weight in your profile when you’re a good 20 pounds overweight, honey.

Sigh. I’m sorry to be a dick, it’s just annoying. I wouldn’t normally care but she insisted upon chatting for a week before meeting up. Maybe she was apprehensive simply because she was insecure about the way she looked. Hey hon, a week won’t make a fucking difference. You were nice to talk to, but if you’re a heffer, it ain’t happening.

I’m sorry, this is so mean. But god damn it... like that’s the exact reason I told her that meeting face-to-face soon was convenient. I told her that’s the best way to determine whether there’s chemistry. I feel like a dick but I hope she’s learned something from that. Oh well. At least it’s not like with Adrienne, where I was totally god damn into her and she was smart and beautiful and face-to-face was just as wonderful as text messages, and... ghosted!

At least I wasn’t just another asshole who ghosted Laura. I was straightforward. I would never ghost someone, but it’s unusual that at the end of the date, if I’m not feeling it, I’ll outright say it. But Laura told me how important it was that people be honest, so I’m happy to have been able to give that to her, and not chicken out and wait until the next day to text and say I wasn’t feeling it. Or to kid myself into saying “well i just need another day to figure it out lol” when I knew very well that with whatserface (the one where we hung out and drank beer by schyulkill river and then went and got pizza afterwards) where I said “um idk lol  lemme think about it” then texted her the next day to tell her I wasn’t interested.

Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. At least you’re keeping an open mind. Not saying No outright.

Blah, meh, whatever. I think I already said that dumbass Mary finally got back to me to say “omg i’m liek so teh sorryz!!!11 I felt overwhelmed by whatever the fuck and consequently shut down and didn’t look at my phone at all!!!11″ So fucking dumb. You knew I texted you stupid bitch, don’t lie and say “well liek i mean lieko mg i just liek didn’t check my phone and didnt know u texted!!11″

But props to her to admitting that she needs to grow up. That couldn’t have been easy to admit. So I need to have grace with her. She admitted that she didn’t have a good excuse. So I had no reason to eviscerate her. I just said “Sure. Take care.” At least she felt bad. At least she was self-aware. At least she had the strength to come back and apologize and admit that she was wrong. I give her props for that, and so probably shouldn’t be so angry, but whatever, by the time that dumbass texted I was already over it.

Okay and so what now? This is weird but okay fine I’ll admit it. What sparked me to come onto here was because I had a few drinks and I cheated and bought another pouch of tobacco, bad Dan! How are you supposed to git gud at kickboxing if I’m a huffin-and-a-puffin all over the place? But I feel good because I got praise from the guy I partnered with at muay thai and I think I did a good job with him, and my knee-throwing is getting better! Hurray for me!

Okay and but so sorry, so the reason I came here was because I was drinking and smoking and watching Jonathon Haidt and Malcolm Gladwell and the roundtable was fantastic and then I started drinking and I was talking to this cunt on tinder who decided to stop messaging back after literally two messages (I fucking hate people), then I got sad and insecure and watched a couple episodes of Cowboy Bebop (almost done with the series)

Sorry to ramble on and fucking itemize everything I did this night, it’s so trivial and tedious to the reader but whatever, I don’t care. So I did all that and was feeling tired and decided to go back up to bed and thought of my shaven testicles and maybe fondled them without realizing it or maybe I just got horny, whatever

So then I came upstair sand I was going to masturbate and a common thought came to me and it’s been stronger lately, where I get scared. I’m scared about what I masturbate to. And even though it’s never really happened... I mean, not really... I don’t think? But I became afraid that I’ll become too addicted to what I masturbate to and won’t be able to have a meaningful sexual relaitonship when I do eventulaly get into a romantic relationship.

I don’t want to get hooked on certain sexual thoughts and have to use them when I’m doing the deed. Like I don’t want to have to be sleeping with a woman and start fantasizing about something else to achieve orgasm. This is scummy, but I don’t want to have to be getting my dick sucked by some smart and interesting and sorta cute but fat girl and be fantasizing about how she’s only doing it because she wants me to like her, like we’re on a date, first date, and she’s sucking my dick and it feels amazing but to push myself over the edge I had to give a voice to her thoughts

And the voice is “okay, this guy is really hot, I want him to like me, first impressions and all, I need to suck his dick really good. I don’t particularly like it, but you gotta do what you gotta do.”

RIGHT NOW. I’M GETTING A BONER RIGHT NOW AS I THINK OF IT. Then part of me wishes I saved her pictures so I could look at them again and remember her and think about her sucking my dick and get off on how maybe.. I mean probably not but what if that’s what was really going through her mind?

She was really sex-positive and communicative and awesome, and I was giving, and it seems like I mean she obviously enjoyed it when I licked her pussy and got her off, and it was kind aweird becaus eshe said that she came and the first time I didn’t beilev eher because it seemed really low intensity, almost an afterthought, “yeah I came”, and I jsut figured “well I guess she wasn’t that into it and didn’t want to keep at it, or maybe she was insecure, or this or that, but this whole ‘i came’ thing is a lie, she just wanted to move on and spare my ego.”

But then we went at it again the second date and she supposedly came twice and this time I outright said “are you sure?” and she kinda chuckled and she said “yeah, I think I’d know”, and so I believed her, she seemed sincere. Micro-orgasm, maybe, or maybe she’s just not super reactive/performative/exaggerated about her orgasms, I mean that’s prefectly possible, it was just weird, like I just had this powerful and irrefutable notion that she was faking

Wahtever, I don’t kven know why I’m still talking aoubt it. This all started beacuse I said that I felt bad about the things I masturbat eto. I think maybe I was molested. I think maybe I nede to see a sex therapist and it’s really strange and I don’t know. So and then like maybe I need to um like I don’t know but so maybe I can hit up Collette and se eif she has any colleagus I can talk to.

idk man but I had fantasiez about me seeing Collette and her giving me “sex therapy” and tehy were super sexy at the time, kinda sad and disappointed that those powerful fantasies didn’t last, the way that the ones with Lis do, they just keep coming, she’s the second fucking sexual partner I’ve had where I’ll consturuct all these elaborate fantasies about nonconsensual sex (or barely-consensual, no pun intended) and write literally dozens of pages about all these situations they get into about being humiliated and degraded, these sexcapades where they don’t want to be slutting themselves out and sucking all this dick but they hav eno choice because they’nve being blackmalied

God I’m such a fucked up person. I know I Shouldn’t be ashamed of nfantazies, isn’t that a truism now? No kick-shaming? lol kink-smaming. DAMN IT .Kink. Shaming. So anyway, yeah, I know, that’s the montra, and I know that people will know that but not take it to heart beacuse a lot o people are ashamed of their sexual fantasies. There are even women who hav fentasies about non-consensual sex and forced gang-bangs and shit like that, thank you to kink.com for showcasing some of these porn actresses who rae getting interviewed and telling their fantasies.

Hey bruh it don’t make no difference whether the scene I see is also their fantasie, not in particular, but knowing that some women fantasize about such evil, rapey things also exist and make me feel less bad about degrading women in my own fantasies.

Things are really strange and I love porn and porn star sand they’re super sexy and I shouldn’t be masturbating so much to them lmao literally I hav eno idea what i’m even talknig about anmyroe ,my mind just keeps gkinda going to lunch, I mean I Don’t think I’m more drunk than I was when I started this entry? Just giving less a fuck, but definitely more tired, I def feel tired now, I feel strange and sad and I want s’ much to fucking meet the love of my life but I can’t do it but whatever. I’ll probably beat off about Jackie (hell Dan write a story about her!) but maybe and maybe not but I’m just really fucking tired.

Goodnight.