#Maybe it's bc I'm back on my meds

[bubblegumbitch143]

Current status: bravely battling tummy aches

[hiddenbeks]

in the hopital again

[halinski]

rant in tags about perscription medication and withdrawals

continued here bc i reached tag limit and i'm still??

it's kinda scary tbh

like i was scared for years now of what would happen off my meds and

when i tried tapering off my antidepressants oof i was breaking down every day and now i /know/ i'm dependant on them and idk if that's better or worse

and with the antipsychotics it's like i thought they were helping my depression too bc when tapering off i was also so panicked and depressed (tho my situation is kinda stressful rn)

but idk i've been trying meds on and off for half my life now and most of the time i'm like 🤷

but the truth is

it's fucking scary how it messes with your body

it's fucking scary when you're dependant on a pill

OR ALSO

when pills fuck your body up to the point you can only eat one thing

bc that's the reason i'm going off the antipsychotics and guess what, i'm able to eat more again now

idk if it's just in combination with the hormon pill tbh i'm just going off both now and we'll see how my iron levels and migrains deal lmao

i feel like i can't think straight anymore

gonna have to get new docs anyway so we'll see what they say if(/when) i go anemic again or if going off the antipsychotics will actually fix the issue??

if so, then it'll be like how did this sneak up on me, i've been taking them for 2.5 years like

??

and now i've lost 20lbs despite trying everything to maintain or gain some the past year and a half and i'm at my lowest weight since i was like a preteen lol

and that's all bc of a med that didn't feel like it had an acute effect

or maybe i'm so removed from my body i didn't notice until i got the acute gastritis ??

i mean i can't even be sure its the meds or not until i'm off

and tapering the rest off is gonna be so fun fuck

i dont wanna

i wanna be able to eat more than bread i guess but at this point the thought just scares me and like i associate it with pain and nausea

which as long as i can manage it is fine

but i've only tapered off half, i still have to taper off the other half of the dosage 😭

and with the hormon pill gone again the worst menstrual pain will be back and idk how to manage that, i guess hopefully with the meds gone i won't go anemic again but who knows at this point??

also praying my migraines don't come back but uh... i am pessimistic. i don't have much hope

anyway

moral of the story.....

ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO TAPER OFF YOUR MEDS KIDS BC EVEN JUST TAPERING IS SCARY AND GOING COLD CHICKEN IS PROBABLY HELL

doctors can be annoying (and make things harder, like in my case bc i literally asked if it could be my current meds MONTHS ago, and everyone was like noooooo but guess who was RIGHT) sometimes BUUUUT you should listen to them avout certain things

like

tapering off meds

[running-in-the-dark]

can't sleep (despite new meds + melatonin, boo), so I'm thinking about random shit. like: it's insane to me that I'm totally fine living on the ground floor now. it used to really freak me out. I hated being downstairs when we lived in a house. I always felt watched when I had my room on the ground floor. and every time I visited my dad at his ground floor apartment - where I was on my own except for maybe an hour a day - I had what I now know were panic attacks several times a day. so like, that's pretty crazy.

[hatake]

fucked things up with a person i was starting to like and have been sad about it all week :(

[mashmouths]

sitting waiting for someone to text you bc you wanted to make plans with them almost 4 hours ago but now you've just wasted 4 hours bc you couldn't do anything bc you were waiting for them to text should've been a circle of hell in dante's inferno

[yoiku]

am i feeling a little tingle of inspiration crawling back into my brain? sleep hasn't been great but for the past few naptimes i've been actually rotating bits of some neat stuff in my vacant husk of a brain. Please, I need more crumbs.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Sanders Sides is really annoying (affectionate?) to me bc when we talk about 'canon' most people in the conversation are all going to have different ideas of what 'canon' is from each other. For example, for me (and I'm making this post bc I wanted to clarify what I in particular am talking about when I talk about canon) canon is the mainline canon videos, asides (and videos that were previously asides) as well as other dedicated videos (such as the grwm) are supplementary but not canon, and nothing else is canon. But then there are people who take clarifying tweets as canon. And that's fine! It just makes it a little confusing when people are talking about 'canon' but everyone is talking about a different range of information.

Like I'll personally admit I'm a little snobby about what I consider canon. I'm the type if person that thinks if the creator wants something to be canon, it should be stated, implied, or possible to extrapolate from the canon work. For example with Dungeon Meshi, I don't take Daydream Hour as canon information, but rather supplementary. (Not that I need to bc Ryoko Kui does put everything you need to know into the manga, seriously if you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough.) But there are some people who do. And that's ok! I also don't take her tweets or interviews as canon. This is a general rule I have in what I take as canon across all fandoms.

And I think I've not been clear enough about what I mean by 'supplementary' and I mean like, for example in Ace Attorney I am again, a total snob, and I only count canon as AA 1-4 and AAI 1&2 and this is not an incredibly unpopular opinion but it's still... y'know. Not considering 2 main line games canon. And there are loads of reasons for that which we don't have time for in this post bc we're not actually talking about Ace Attorney, so to get to my actual point. I don't consider the audio drama CDs to be 'canon' but you bet your ass Mikeko is showing up in my fics (a CD only pet cat for Apollo) and I also just stated I don't view AA5 as canon, or at least the same canon (it's complicated) but I love playing around with Clay's concept and several of the other characters from 5+6. I'm just not talking about them when I'm talking strictly about canon.

Idk if I explained that well enough (and if I didn't, please ask me to clarify). I just feel like everyone should have access to the information that I am a snob with unpopular opinions and I love you even if you're less of a snob than me. In fact that would probably be a plus. You DO NOT have to agree with me, I love when people have their own opinions, 'it takes all sorts' and all that, yeah? I just wanted to clarify what I'm talking about when I mention canon.

[peppermintbutch]

The next semester is going to KILL me. Bachelor thesis which idk what I want to write about AT ALL and if my adhd brain is even able to do it, two seminars that are probably gonna be super boring bcs the seminars this semester all suck for some reason AND immediately after that I have to do a work experience and write a report abt that. Oh and the semester starts NEXT WEEK

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

i can't shake the feeling i'm forgetting something...

[kkujo]

anyone have advice on fixing ur sleep schedule 🤕

[lesenbyan]

Migraines are the work of the devil

[getlostinthemoss]

.

[arcadian-vampire]

Check out this fb post of me lying facedown in a random park bc I was sick of being a medical anomaly <3 ft. multiple blankets bc if I touch grass I WILL explode

[spacebugarts]

I just realized I can just grab the next jumping spider I see and put it in a terrarium and just. Have a pet spider. The only thing stopping me rn is that its the middle of winter and a lack of information, but that gives me plenty of time to study! Its just gonna kill me waiting to actually Do Anything abt it (except clean my room so there's less chance of them getting lost agsjsgj)

Anyways seasonal depression hits different when you finally realize you wanna be an entomologist but I was able to find a good sized jar and some mesh table liner stuff to use for the top, so it'll be nice and easy to mist it down and provide plenty of air for the little baby!

I have free will and I will use it to Aquire Bugs >:]

[reuptakeinhibitor]

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