#Maybe I've just grown in the last four years

[studyblr-perhaps]

To the Indian high school kids giving JEE/NEET/CUET etc this year (first of all, good luck) who are currently solving questions and realizing it's extremely difficult and they're stressing out, don't ever let it make you feel like you're the unintelligent one, don't let it make you feel like you're the one who isn't working hard enough.

Cause WHY THE FUCK IS JAM (graduate exam) PAST YEAR PAPER EASIER THAN JEE WAS??????

[hannieehaee]

LOST IN STEREO

18+ / mdi

summary: after kicking you out of your own band to seek success with the band on his own, vernon finds his plans falling through, all the while you'd reached success on your own. now leading your own label, vernon finds himself having to earn your forgiveness, not realizing how badly he'd hurt you years back.

content: friends2enemies2lovers!vernon, band!au, drummer!vernon, guitarist!reader, unrequited crush (kinda), pining, vernon kicks you out of your band bc ur a girl (asshole, ik), really incorrect music industry terminology (i know nothing about music oops), afab reader, reader becomes a producer after being kicked from vernon's band, seokmin, chan, hannie and kwannie are in the band, smut, penetrative sex, dry humping, fingering, etc.

wc: 8.8k

a/n: i know the summary and content are all over the place, but i promise the story in itself is coherent</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

"Fuck! Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?"

He winced at the sudden sight of you upon turning a corner in the huge building he was currently exploring, never having expected to bump into you there.

"I work here, Vernon. I would've expected you to do some research on the labels you're auditioning for."

"W-wait. What do you mean you work here?"

"I'm a producer here. What? Surprised?"

"N-no!" he spluttered.

Fuck, you looked good. No, scratch that. You looked beautiful beyond belief.

How long had it been? Three? Four years?

He still felt horribly about it. You know, that whole situation in which he threw you under the bus for his own benefit – only for everything to come crashing down on him immediately after. Not only did he feel like an asshole, but also like a huge idiot. Letting go of a friendship just for a failed attempt at success would go down as the dumbest thing Vernon ever engaged in.

In his defense, he was a teenager at the time. Okay, maybe he was freshly 19, but it felt like the same thing back then. He had been an idiot who dumped his best friend and crush just for a chance in the music industry. What he had thought that to be the smartest move to make for the future of your shared band ended up becoming his greatest mistake. To this day, he still thought back on it with shame.

What sucked the most was how talented he knew you were. That, and the knowledge that he had been the sole person to blame for taking this opportunity away from you – from taking your own band away from you.

He quickly came to realize that it had been a horrible mistake, but it was too late by then. Contractually speaking, you had never really existed within the group. Your friendship had also crumbled soon after, despite your reassurance that all you wanted was the best for the band, even if that meant they'd continue on without you.

At the time, you had been the band's sole music producer, and song writer, and engineer, and you were the one who had a macbook with garage band on it, and–

"Vernon!"

Fuck. Had he been in his head this whole time?

You looked annoyed. Also way more grown and mature than when he last saw you at 19 years old. Fuck, did he mention you looked insanely hot?

"Sorry, I, uh, as I was saying," he cleared his throat, "Of course I'm not surprised. You're the most talented person I've ever known."

And Vernon truly meant his words. As teenagers, your dream to become a successful guitarist had been what inspired him to dust off his drums and go on this adventure with you, employing a few of your other friends to join your wannabe pop-punk band.

You weren't just a dreamer, like Vernon. Vernon knew you weren't just all talk. If anyone could walk the walk, it was you. With your innate ability with not only the guitar, but a myriad of other instruments, Vernon always admired you for your natural talent with music. The insane confidence you carried also did not help matters. It sure did not help the irrevocable crush he'd had on you since he met you. The air of security you always carried with you was something Vernon looked up to and was insanely attracted to. Sometimes it'd make it difficult to be around you without revealing his crush, as he would constantly swoon over your mere presence.

His feelings for you not only as a childhood friend, but also as his unrequited crush, only made the whole situation worse. At first, he dumbly thought that you understood why he had to ask you to leave the band, but it was obvious to him within only a few weeks that what his decision had done irreparable damage to your friendship.

Thinking back to it, he realized how stupid it was for him to even consider joining a label that denied your entrance simply due to your gender. Attempting to create the image the label had wanted to force on them should've been the first red flag. Taking Vernon aside to talk him into kicking you out should've been more than enough for Vernon to break out and whisk you away from a label that clearly didn't deserve you.

Sadly, Vernon had been too invested in making it big at the time. He truly would've given anything to find success as a musician as soon as possible – and apparently you should've taken those words literally.

It had been about a year since you first started the band at that point. Your very low budget garage band consisted of you, Vernon, and a few of your friends. Vernon was on drums, you on guitar, Hannie was bass, Kwan main vocals, Seokmin keyboard, and Chan second guitar. It was the perfect setup, if Vernon had anything to say about it.

The entire composition of the band had been yet another thing that formed all thanks to you. As much as Vernon insisted on saying it had been a shared effort, he now knew better. He needed to give credit where it was due. If it wasn't for you, Vernon never even would've met the guys he now considered his best friends, as you had been the one to take charge of recruiting more members into the group.

Despite that, you allowed Vernon to have the role of co-leader in the band with you. The way you had rationalized it was that you didn't believe in a monarchy; you much more wanted to have a democracy, so you believed that being co-leaders beat a singular leader by far.

This also demonstrated the intense trust you had on Vernon. Except Vernon's greedy mentality at the time did not respect this vision.

Surprisingly, even to his younger self, it didn't take much convincing for the recruiting manager of the label to convince Vernon into kicking you out. Just one signature from him, and all the male members of the group would be secure under a semi-established label that would guarantee them the exposure he'd been wanting, oh so badly, for the past year of being in the band. All he thought of was his future success, completely ignoring that his best friend would be left behind in the process. Simultaneously, he ignored the protests of his members, believing this to be for the greater good for the band.

In your usual supportive fashion, you were a trooper through it all. Your initial reaction was one of confusion and hurt, but it was quickly wiped away under the facade of being happy for your friends. If you couldn't find success with them, you were glad they'd be able to make it big without you.

Vernon made the mistake of believing these words, not realizing that he had just broken all your trust, and along with it your heart.

Then came the other end of the stick.

To no one's surprise, the record deal fell through. Kicking you out before agreeing to sign the group should've made alarms go off in Vernon's head on its own, but everything that came after was somehow worse.

The label had attempted to poke at every single detail about the band, trying to form them into something they could never see themselves becoming. Their looks changed, their sound changed, and fuck, Vernon just could not stop thinking about you throughout it all.

Before it all completely fell apart, they had been able to perform a few shows. Though they were nothing too big, they were far more than the small pubs in which you guys had performed before sighing the contract. Vernon was completely unable to enjoy any of this, though. The blank space on stage kept his mind uneasy. He constantly wondered about you and reminisced about your beginnings together.

This arrangement only lasted a few months. That was when everything truly went to hell. With lack of cooperation both from him and the rest of the guys, it wasn't too hard to get the label to drop them.

It just wasn't a match. Vernon would be the first to admit that greed got the best of him. Taking the very first signing offer that they got had been too naive of him, leading the band to be labeless and without a lead guitar and female vocal. And also leaving Vernon without a best friend.

A few years were spent attempting to break out once more, only achieving certain virality online through the first year of trying. It wasn't until recent times that Vernon and his band really blew up through some original work of Vernon's they had posted online. That's what actually led to Vernon's current position – touring one of the best labels for people in his genre after having established a solid fanbase online as an independent band.

Since Vernon had lost contact with you soon after kicking you out of the band, he eventually gave up on finding you (though memories of you would still haunt him). Not having kept up with your individual career, he never knew you actually made it out and into the big leagues on your own. You being a renown producer under an artistic name made sense to him, though. It explained why he had not heard of your name during all that time, and it also made sense with your past experience making music when you were in the band. Hell, you were the one who taught Vernon everything he knew about producing.

Despite being incredibly glad that his mistake hadn't made you lose your love for music, Vernon still felt disheartened at seeing you. In another life, the two of you would've made it here together, hand by hand and as the best friends you'd always been (hopefully even more by now). But now you were here, successful but at completely different rates, and with you feeling clear disdain towards Vernon's mere existence.

You simply scoffed at his compliment, rolling your eyes.

"I don't need your praise, Vernon."

Well, it seemed like he couldn't really win regardless. It also didn't help that he felt like a total loser standing in front of you, now aware that you had made a name for yourself.

He had heard your artistic name before, but since you apparently stuck to being a producer rather than be on stage, he never put a face to the name.

"I, uh, are you one of the producers we're auditioning for?"

"Yeah. Good luck with that, Vernon," you seemed far too pleased with yourself. There was venom in your eyes Vernon had never seen before in all those years he knew you.

"Listen, I-"

"Whatever you're going to say about our past, you can save it. Nothing you can say can make up for what happened. I won't get in your way during your meeting with the label. Only because I still love the rest of the guys," you softened a bit, before getting that serious look in your eye again, "But I also won't do you any favors."

Gulping, he responded, "Yeah, I, uh, okay. I understand."

Without any further comments, you bumped into his shoulder as you walked away, leaving a breathless Vernon behind.

He was well aware that you hated him, and with good reason too. Yet he couldn't help the rapid beating of his heart throughout every second of your interaction. With the passing of years, he had thought he was fully over his crush, but it all just came crashing down on him all at once upon your first meeting.

Now he really needed to get into this label. Not only for his career, but to somehow get you back.

"Dude! Did you see Y/N? She stopped by the studio earlier to say hi. Man, I told you you shouldn't have gone off on your own. I can't believe you missed her."

As much as Vernon wished Seokmin had been right about Vernon missing you altogether, he did wish your first encounter with him had been around other witnesses. Maybe that way your words to him would've had a little less venom in them.

"Nope. Bumped into her in the hallway while I was looking around."

"Shit ...", said Chan, "How was it?"

"Brutal. She hates my ass."

"Completely understandable, you know, considering," chimed in Seungkwan, sitting on the couch of the conference room's waiting room.

After a short tour of the building the label was homed in, the group was directed to wait in the waiting room as the execs arranged the paperwork necessary to sign them – should they come to an agreement. Vernon had made the dumb mistake of asking if he could explore the place a bit on his own, never having imagined he'd bump into you on the way. At least now he knew you'd be one of the higher ups waiting for him on the other side of that door.

"Dude, stop. I've been feeling like a dick ever since it happened", Vernon groaned into his hands, suddenly snapping up to look to his members, "Did you guys know she was working here? Did you know she was the Hissfit?"

"We didn't really keep contact," Seokmin shook his head.

"Yeah. I knew of Hissfit, but I never would've guessed it was her. Damn, that's kinda hot of her," said Jeonghan.

Jeonghan's comment peeved off Vernon a bit, but he had bigger things to worry about at the moment.

"Do you think she hates all of us, or is it just me-"

They all varied in their response, but the consensus was that Vernon was the only member you still saw with venom in your eyes.

"Yeah, man. It's just you," confirmed Chan, "I thought she'd hate me for taking over lead guitar after she left, but she was pretty nice to me just now."

Vernon was about to air out his endless concerns and frustrations at the stupid acts of his 19-year-old self, but had to close his mouth back up when the door to the conference room suddenly opened, revealing you and two other men close to your age.

"Come on in, guys," said one with shaggy hair and a strong build, gesturing at the boys to come in.

All five of them took a seat on one side of the gigantic table that took up most of the space in the room while you and the two men took a seat on the opposite side.

You looked so put together and professional, looking over the papers sitting in front of you while Vernon stared and stared, hoping you'd look his way.

"Okay, first of all, I wanna welcome you guys. I know one of our producers, Soonyoung, already gave you guys a quick tour of the place, but I wanted to give you a formal welcome," began the taller guy of the two, "My name is Seungcheol, but you probably know me as S.Coups."

"I'm Jihoon, but you must know me as Woozi," said the shaggy-haired man.

Then it was your turn.

"I'm Y/N. Also known as Hissfit."

Vernon winced when all his members woo'd at you, dapping you up with all confidence in the world despite not having kept in contact with you for the past few years. He wanted to join in, but you seemed too genuinely appreciative of it for him to want to dampen your mood by reminding you of his existence.

"We are the owners and cofounders of Universe Factory Records," added Jihoon.

"We're well aware you guys know our friend Y/N here," Seungcheol patted your back, rubbing it afterwards in a soothing manner, – completely unnecessary in Vernon's eyes, but okay – "but for business' sake, we will put a pin on that at the moment."

"We don't want any good or bad blood getting in the way of business, so we thought it'd be best to not discuss those matters here today," continued Jihoon, "All we care about is giving a passionate group such as your own and opportunity to join us. I can speak for all three of us when I say that you truly fit the core message of our label, and we'd love to sign you."

You nodded along to it all, even holding Vernon's eyes in yours for a few seconds before looking away.

"We'd love that, Woozi-Nim," intercepted Seokmin, bowing his head a bit at Jihoon.

"We just have a few contractual points to get to and then we can get to business, okay?", Seungcheol clapped his hands decisively.

A few moments later, your HR guys, Jun and Minghao came in to oversee the contract with the eight of you, making sure both parties understood everything written on the fine print. This took about thirty minutes, but ended very amicably.

"Is there a leader to the group who'd like to speak for any modifications you'd like to make to the contract?", asked Seungcheol just moments before the papers were about to be signed by everyone present.

"No, we're more of a democracy," said Vernon, not realizing the irony of his words fast enough.

You scoffed loudly at that, giving Vernon a sarcastic smile.

"Are you sure about that? Any other member who can confirm this fact?", you turned to the rest of the members in mock curiosity.

"Y/N, I-"

"Sorry, it's my bad. I shouldn't have asked," Seungcheol chuckled awkwardly, gesturing to the papers once more, "You can all sign whenever you're ready."

With some hesitation, Vernon signed.

He knew it was the right decision. That this way he would not only get to live his dream with his best friends while being housed under such a successful label, but that he'd also get another chance with you.

It'd just take a lot of work.

One of Vernon's favorite parts about the contract with Universe Factory was the luxury dorms that came along with it.

Being housed in a penthouse with all his friends seemed like one of the most unachievable dreams, yet here he was.

And the best part was that you owned a penthouse of your own right upstairs.

As far as he understood, this was a business owned building, housing any artists who wished to live at close proximity to the label's main headquarters. Vernon's group chose to agree to this form of housing without a second doubt, having always had the dream of living in the capital of the music industry – Los Angeles.

It had been about a month since the signing, and Vernon had caught sights of you far more times than he would've thought thus far. Unfortunately, none of them had gone well for him.

You seemed to be more than happy rekindling your friendship with the rest of the members, but always refused to spend any time with Vernon one-on-one. If at any moment you were left alone with Vernon, you'd scoff and walk out, even if Vernon attempted to call you out on it.

And Vernon's crush only got worse with the time he spent with you (albeit it always was while other people were around). Seeing you so relaxed in your loungewear when you'd spontaneously stop by the dorms to see Jeonghan or Chan (or literally anyone but him) as you laughed and joked around with them was messing with Vernon's head.

You were just so pretty and perfect and put together.

There came a point where Vernon was quite loud about his crush, constantly whining to his members about how much you still hated him. You were the only person to be unaware of it. Hell, even Jihoon and Seungcheol knew, always giving Vernon looks when he'd stare at you a little too long.

Except you never looked his way.

The only times you ever looked at Vernon were to curse him out or blatantly distance yourself from him whenever you got fed up of his presence.

Even now, as you huddled into a corner of the couch when the rest of the guys conveniently (re: at Vernon's request) left the two of you alone halfway through the movie you'd all been watching.

Attempting to be as casual as possible (he wasn't), Vernon slid from sitting on the arm of the couch to try and scoot closer to you, eyes glued to the TV in fear of you leaving if he dared look your way.

"Vernon-"

"Wait! Don't leave! Just stay sitting. I- I won't bother you, okay?," he was quick to apologize, sensing that you'd either scold him or tell him to fuck off.

You nodded, expressionless as you turned your bead back to the TV again, seemingly not too bothered by him.

It was rare for you to not use his exasperation as a reason to tell him off, so Vernon went against his own words and spoke again.

"Will we ever talk again?"

"What?"

He sighed, turning to you, "Will things ever go back to normal? I- Is there any chance you'll ever forgive me?"

"I don't wanna talk about this with you," you went to get up, only to be stopped by Vernon as he got up also, lightly grabbing your arm.

"Please. You have no idea how much I've regretted it since then. At least let me apologize," he pleaded with you.

"It doesn't matter if you regret it, Vernon. You still did it."

Wincing, he tried to come up with an answer that might satisfy you, but the truth was that there was no way for him to reason his actions at that time.

"I'll never not regret it. I .. I wish you were still out there with us, not just producing behind the scenes."

"Vernon-"

"Do you ... do you still play?"

"What?", you appeared annoyed at his interest.

"Do you still play? At any shows? For fun? You were always the best guitarist I'd known. Chan's nothing compared to you," he joked.

You looked down in what seemed to be shyness, "Chan's pretty good. He's gotten so much better since I last saw him."

"It wasn't the same- It's not the same. You were supposed to be there. I love Channie, but the dynamic completely changed when you left- when you-"

"When you kicked me out," you corrected.

He took a few steps towards you, both hands encompassing your arms in order to get you to look at him.

"I kicked you out, and it was the worst mistake I'd ever made. I lost my bandmate and I lost my best friend. I miss you every day. Every time I perform and I look to the front and you're not there, I remember what an idiot I was. You made this. You made the band, you got all the members. Fuck, you taught Channie everything you knew and all I did to repay you was throw you away," his eyes never left yours as he spoke, despite how guilty he felt at seeing the sudden sadness in yours, "Please tell me you at least still play. Please tell me I didn't take that away from you."

"I ... After you kicked me out, I couldn't trust anyone else. If my own best friend was willing to get rid of me like that ... If all my friends stood by and did nothing, then I couldn't trust that someone else wouldn't do it again."

"Y/n, I-"

You stepped away from his hold, creating some distance.

"I didn't want to play anymore, so I started selling my music. That's how I met Jihoon And Seungcheol. They were already on the process of founding Universe Factory. They saw something in me and took me in. We were equals," you explained, "So, no. I haven't played since then, Vernon. I'm a producer now."

It made Vernon miserable to know that the girl he once knew had changed. He understood why, specially having been part of the cause, but he felt even more regretful at knowing that he had damaged your ability to trust so badly. Ever since he knew you, you loved nothing more than to play for people. From talent shows to small shows at local pubs with only twenty people in the audience, you'd always happily sign up if it meant a chance to play for anyone willing to listen. Now you didn't have that in you anymore. All because Vernon had broken your trust.

Vernon chose not to bother you anymore after that. You seemed happy with your new life. Vernon seemed to be the only source of negativity in your life, so he chose to step aside and let you live your life. He would no longer try and see if there was any space for him there anymore. If that's what made you happy, then so be it.

It had taken a while, but after four months of being signed into Universe Factory, Vernon's band had finally released their new album.

The rollout consisted of 12 original songs, with a deluxe version including three extra songs coming a few months later. It hadn't been fully fleshed out yet, but the album itself had been a success by all means.

Throughout the process, Vernon had unfortunately not made much progress with you. Things seemed to be a bit more peaceful now that he had decided to leave you alone, but you never once tried to seek him out, so he assumed that this was the end of it. You were happy to ignore him and keep him out of your life, and as much as Vernon wad pained by it, he felt too remorseful by his previous actions to try and bother you anymore.

Vernon was happy to spend time with you whenever studio sessions came up. As one of the main producers of the company, you had been thoroughly involved in the album, which meant that you spent a grand majority of your time in the studio with Vernon and the rest of the band. Though you would rarely engage with him directly, you didn't outwardly ignore him. You remained professional and respectful towards him. He wasn't sure if that was better or worse.

After the grueling process of finishing up the album and releasing it, there was a small lull in the group's timeline. The album did amazingly well, specially with all the promo your label did for them. A tour had even been announced for later in the year, but for now things were quiet. The fruits of their labor were paying off and now everyone got a bit of time to rest before preparations for tour began.

Despite being done with work for a few weeks before getting to rehearsals for tour, Vernon still liked to come around the company and play around with the studios the label had available for their artists. He liked to mess around and try to experiment with new stuff to develop his skills. During the album-making period, he had observed you intently, learning from you without your knowledge.

Today was one of the many times in which Vernon had decided to come around the studios, in search of the one his group used throughout the process of making their album.

That was when he noticed the half-closed door, with the soft strumming of a guitar coming from the inside. He was about to turn around and leave, assuming that someone else had taken up that studio for a bit, but then he heard a melodious voice accompanying the guitar in perfect harmony. It was you.

Even during the recording process, Vernon was yet to hear you sing or play any music. The demos were usually recorded by Jihoon, even when you had vast participation in them. The most he had heard your voice during that time had been when you'd direct the members on how to enunciate a line or two – and even then, Vernon felt enamored. Now here Vernon was, peeking from the small opening of the door as he witnessed you sing what seemed to be an original song.

Your back was facing him as you sat on the floor, simply facing the wall in front of you. Your voice was low, as was your strumming. It was likely you didn't want anyone to hear you. Almost as if you were hiding your skill, not wanting anyone to be aware of it.

Vernon couldn't help but think that this was the consequence of his actions. Did you think you weren't made to perform anymore? Not even in private? Had his betrayal caused this in you? The thought made him sick, knowing how much you loved music.

His thoughts were promptly interrupted by a sudden halt in your playing, hearing your voice speak up.

"I know you're there, Vernon," you said without even needing to turn around to face him.

"I- How did you-"

You began to get up, putting your guitar away, "I heard the door squeak a bit, and you're the only person who would be interested enough in hearing me play to stay and watch."

He knew you hadn't meant it in a self-deprecating way, but the thought of you believing that there wasn't a crowd of people who'd die to hear you perform felt like a punch in the gut.

"You still sound amazing. You got even better, somehow."

"Vernon, stop. You don't have to-"

"Please. Let me at least compliment you. I mean it. You're amazing. It's a huge disservice to the world that you're not out there performing your own music," he chuckled humorlessly by the end, attempting to appeal to you somehow.

Surprisingly to him, you chuckled back in a similar manner, choosing to recline against one of the tables in the room rather than leave now that Vernon was speaking to you – something you'd usually do if you were ever in a room alone with him.

"I've never been much of a soloist. You know that."

Taking a leap, Vernon chose to lean against the table too, taking a seat close to you.

"I'm sure people would be lining up for a chance to work with you, c'mon."

"Not, you, though. Right?"

He groaned, throwing his head back in frustration, "Listen ..."

"I'm kidding, Vernon, relax."

That surprised him. Maybe the time had allowed you to feel comfortable enough to tease Vernon about it. Fuck. You were speaking to him. That in itself was more progress than he'd had in years.

Usually, he would've responded with a joke back, but he decided to drive his point home instead.

"I'd kill for you to even consider playing with me again."

Your mood visibly shifted at that, squirming a bit and looking down at his words.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

This time your sarcasm didn't deter him. He had an opening. You were talking to him, after months of only doing polite small talk with him whenever you were forced to. Maybe it was time he was a bit stern too.

Standing up, he stood directly in front of you, towering over you a bit more than usual since you were leaning against the table.

"Listen. I know I hurt you. I know I did the worst thing I could've done to the person I loved most, okay? I think about it every day. I thought about it every single day after you cut me out of your life – which you had every right to do," he winced at the thought, "Seeing you again, knowing you made it big and that you're still making music made me so glad. So glad that even though I wasn't ever going to be part of your journey anymore, you still had music by your side. I ... I wish I had done things differently. I wish I hadn't acted so stupidly and been so easy to convince to leave you behind just for a taste of success. I deserve every bit of your hate for it, but- fuck ... but I will always keep doing everything I can to see if maybe one day you might forgive me."

"Vernon, I-"

"Wait, I'm not done," he interrupted you with a finger in the air, "I tried looking for you, you know? After you disappeared, I tried to get you back somehow. When we got dropped from the label just a few months later, I tried to find you, but you were nowhere. I wanted you back from the moment I made that stupid decision. I'd do anything for you to be up there with us on that tour, for your name to be on that album cover. Somehow we ended up making music together again, just with all this baggage in between."

"Vernon."

"What? I- Honestly I don't know what you could say to all my word vomit. I already know you hate me. Nothing I do will ever change it," he looked down with a sad look on his face.

"I don't ... I don't hate you."

His head snapped up to look at you.

"You- What?"

"I don't hate you," you repeated, "I don't think I ever did. I never left music completely, I just ... I felt so disposable. I didn't want to work with anyone who wasn't you, and you saw me as a replaceable asset. I didn't even feel like your friend at that point. I mean, it was so easy for Chan to go from second guitar to lead and just completely erase my existence from the band ... Erase it from your life."

"N-no. You have it all wrong," he got closer to you, grabbing onto your shoulders to make you look at him, "Nothing was ever the same. That's why it all failed. I couldn't function without you."

"Hah," your eyes wandered away from his in an avoidant manner, "I would've killed to hear that from you back then."

You took a breath, appearing to ponder whether or not to say your next statement, ultimately deciding on the former.

"I used to like you so much back then. Did you know?," you laughed at yourself, "It was, uh, one of the reasons why I left. I felt like I got rejected in every way. As a friend, as a bandmate, as ... as the girl who liked you."

Fuck.

It had been worse for you than Vernon ever imagined.

The same way he felt dejected at your disappearance, having been practically in love with you at the time, you must've felt that pain a hundred times over. The guy you liked threw you away so easily, of course you were going to assume Vernon would never return your feelings under those circumstances.

But you had it all wrong. Oh, so horribly wrong.

If you had ever given Vernon any indication of you liking him, he would've dropped everything for you. He knew that he should've done so regardless, specially considering you were best friends, but he was extremely immature and dumb at the time. His mind did not reason what effect his actions would have. At the time, your claims about being okay with leaving the band as long as it was for the best of its future were completely taken at face value by Vernon. Never would he have guessed that you had just said that to appease to him just because you liked him.

His prolonged silence allowed you to speak up once again.

"I really did want to try and root for you after you signed that contract, but seeing the guy I was so head over heels for throw me aside so easily settled on my mind after a few days. I realized there was no point either way. We would never be bandmates again, and you would never like me back."

"I didn't- I ... I had no idea. Fuck," he breathed a heavy breath, furrowing his eyebrows, "I was so in love with you. I'm ... I'm so incredibly in love with you."

He knew he fucked up in saying it, specially going by the shocked expression on your face. Your eyes were wide and your mouth agape.

"I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm so sorry. I know this isn't what you want to hear. I- I shouldn't have said anything, but I can't help myself anymore. I've loved you for years. I've been miserable thinking about how badly you hate me when you haven't left my mind for a single day. I love you. I'm sorry, I just ... I love you."

"Vernon ..."

He threw his hands up in frustration, "Don't. Fuck, I already know what you're going to say, just ... just don't-"

"Vernon, shut up!", you grabbed onto his head, making him lower himself down to you a bit and look into your eyes.

Vernon wasn't quite sure what your original plan was, but he saw you open and close your mouth a few times to speak, ultimately giving up to do something that would break Vernon's mind for the upcoming future.

Your lips against his own was something he thought of an embarrassing amount of times during his teens (and even now during his 20's), but it was always something he was certain would never happen. He had never actually planned for what he would do if you ever actually granted his wish. And so he remained limp against you for a few moments too long, making you pull away at the lack of reciprocation.

This was something he just couldn't have. In no world could he ever allow you to ever feel like he didn't want you. Never again. Before you could fully pull away, his arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you to your tip toes so that he could kiss you properly. When your feet flattened on the ground, his lips chased after yours, leaning down to keep himself connected to you.

The kiss was soft and delicate. There were some breathy sighs that were making Vernon's head feel fuzzy, but the kiss was innocent otherwise.

Or at least that was how it started.

Vernon wasn't sure who licked their way into the other's mouth first, but that bit of information didn't matter too much. What mattered was that gorgeous moan you let out when his tongue suckled on yours. What mattered was the way you let your body become limp against his touch, letting him back you up against the table and sit you on it. What mattered were your hands pulling at his hair in sheer desperation for more.

You weren't the only culprit, though. Vernon was equally, if not more, desperate for you. His mind and his body were in a battle, with one wanting to pull away and discuss what your current feelings for him where, and the other fighting the urge to flip you around and bend you over the table.

Thankfully, you made the decision for him.

Your hands snuck under his shirt, delicate fingers gracing the skin of his stomach before allowing your hands to freely feel up his abs and chest. Shuddering, he became lightheaded at the simple contact, having been in such constant want for your touch all these years that even the simplest of contact had him losing his sanity. Unlike you, his hands were not as daring as yours in fear of scaring you away somehow. They remained rubbing your clothed waist and hips, far too shy to do what they really yearned to.

Images flashed in his head of every nasty thing he wanted to do to you. Every single night in which you'd somehow invade his mind with a fog of lust came running back, a myriad of ideas making it all the harder to hold back. He wanted you to have control. As hard as it was to just sit there and will his already prominent boner into staying still, Vernon could not act on any desire. You had to be the one to initiate it.

And thank fucking god you did.

Within some short moments, your hands threw off Vernon's shirt, pulling him closer to you as you became even more shameless in how you felt him up. Seeing his hands remain stagnant on your waist, you disconnected his lips, staring into his own with a blissed out look on your face.

Fuck.

You were already fucked up. Your eyes had nothing but lust in them. They had a hard time not making their way to his lips, which were still dangerously close to your own. He couldn't blame you. Despite being out of breath from kissing all this time, his own lips were already aching to encompass your own again.

Before he could kiss you again with a petulant whine, your hands guided his own to your clothed breasts, pressing them up against his palms with a delicious little whine that made Vernon press his cock against the table under you.

"Touch me? Feel me up? Fuck ... want your hands all over me," you breathed between sensual licks at his open mouth.

Fuck.

Oh, fuck.

How was he supposed to do this?

You sounded so pretty for him ... so horny and needy and just so fucking desperate for him.

You were the prettiest fucking thing he had ever seen – and you were begging for Vernon to feel you up? You were already begging and he hadn't even had the chance to actually touch you yet? Vernon had no idea how he was going to survive you, but he'd just have to will his body into doing so.

He didn't need any further instruction, his hands immediately following the task of rubbing and squeezing at every inch of skin. Every clothed curve was victim to his grabby hands, touching you and pressing you up against him like he'd die if he didn't. Your breathy little moans at his touch only made him feel like even more of a depraved animal.

You kissed and kissed and kissed. It was the nastiest mess of tongues and saliva, but Vernon couldn't help but feel extremely turned on by it. You were so ... so fucking desperate for him. Shameless in your actions, you licked and sucked at his tongue, holding his jaw in place so you could do as you pleased with his tongue. And when he couldn't match your pace due to how foggy his mind was? You stopped him, breathing against his lips that you'd show him how you liked to be kissed just before licking sensually into his mouth yet again.

Having been far too into the kiss, Vernon didn't even notice when you started undoing his belt, hands teasing his cock occasionally by gracing it through his pants and immediately coming back up when his hips tried to chase your touch.

"Baby ... Need you so bad," you moaned at him after a while.

'Baby'? He was 'baby' now?

Vernon couldn't even take a minute to process the lustful voice in which you had called him baby before his poor, weak, lust-ridden brain got distracted by you pulling your own shirt off.

It was almost comical the way in which Vernon froze at the sight. The two gorgeous mounds staring at him, pretty bralette encompassing them as you grabbed his hands and put them on your tits, begging him to touch you there. And Vernon wasn't an idiot. He touched you to his heart's contentment, groaning against your mouth every time you'd arch your back and press your chest up against his hands even more.

You were an entirely different version from the one he'd always known. You were so needy and soft and sensitive, completely unlike the stubborn and cold side of you you had shown him these past months. But Vernon wasn't about to complain when he had you so pliant for him, so whiny as you pleaded for him to touch you more.

His hands tugged and pinched at your nipples, lips swallowing every single cry of pleasure you let out. Your own hands scratched at his chest, with harsher marks being left behind every time he pinched at your tits relatively hard.

Growing easily frustrated, you separated his hands from your breasts, throwing off your bra before beginning to grind against him, encouraging him to push up his hips against your own.

Vernon was already painfully hard at just the privilege of feeling you up, so he was somewhat scared that he might end up cumming in his pants if you kept this up for so long. All it took was one single bump of your cunt against his cock for him to throw that concern aside and grind into your awaiting cunt as the two of you continued to kiss.

Breathless, he pulled away, finally getting to have a view of your nude breasts. That's when he lost control of himself.

He groaned and moaned and made every inhumane noise you could think of as he made love to your tits with his tongue. Never had he ever put so much dedication into anything as he did into making out with your tits. And fuck was it worth it. Your hips sped up against his own, hands burying in his hair as you pressed his head against your tit and cried his name in the prettiest of sighs.

There was no way in hell Vernon was going to last. He needed a saving grace.

Mustering all his willpower, Vernon disconnected himself from you completely, grabbing your hand and walking you over to the couch in the studio. On his way there, he kicked off his already loose pants and threw off his shoes. His original plan was to lay you down on it, crawl over you as he kissed every inch of your body and then worship his way into fucking you missionary, – so he could see and kiss you all throughout, just in the way he always imagined – but you stopped him in his tracks.

Pushing him onto the couch, you sat him down before shuffling your sweats off and straddling him, putting your hands on his shoulders.

"I wanna ride you. Can I?", you asked, getting straight to the point.

"You- you wanna .."

"I've been thinking about this since high school. And ... you kinda owe me, you know, after kicking me out of my own band," you joked.

"If letting you ride me is payback, then I take it back. I regret nothing," this granted him a frown and a slap on his chest, but he took it as a champ, enjoying the familiar banter he once shared with you.

Placing his large hands on your hips, he somehow got you even closer to him, "Ride me? Hmm, baby?", he kissed up your neck, taking advantage of the clear desire he knew you felt for him.

"I, ah ... Nonnie ... Please. Want your cock, it's so big," you sighed, neck tilting so he could have more space to kiss.

"Gotta prep you first, baby."

You shook your head, huffing, "'m already so wet, Nonnie. Wanna feel?"

With no warning, you snuck your hand under the tiny little excuse for panties you were wearing, gathering some tasty nectar for him to taste. He let out a gruttal groan at your taste, feeling lightheaded at the thought of someday having the privilege to eat your cunt until you begged and sobbed for him to stop.

But that would come some other day. Now, he needed to sit you down on his cock before he lost his mind. If you thought you were wet enough, and you were desperate enough to beg for him repeatedly, then who was he to deny you?

Helping you awkwardly remove your panties while he shoved his boxers down as much as he could while sitting, he helped you lift yourself up a bit to line him up, throwing his head back when you instead chose to drag his tip up and down your cunt.

"Baby ... If you don't sit on me, I'm going to fucking cum before I even get to feel you, and I don't wanna embarrass myself like that. So, please let me have it," he begged for a change, eyes squeezed shut as he attempted to make his body hold back as much as possible.

Taking pity on him (or likely just equally as horny), you finally sat down on him, showing very small signs of struggle at his size.

"F-fuck ... Nonnie, it's so big, it's so- Oh ... fuck."

"Nonnie! Feels so good ... Oh, it's so good, Nonnie."

"Baby, need more ... Need you to fuck me. Please? Cock's so fucking good."

"Want it in my mouth, Nonnie. It's so thick n so fucking big. Looks so, fuck, so delicious. Wanna choke on it so bad ..."

These were only some of the filthy expletives you cried out as you bounced on his cock like a depraved girl. You desire for him alone was enough to make Vernon want to give up and dedicate his body to your pleasure, knowing that your gorgeous body would always give him the same, if not more, pleasure in return.

It got so bad for him that at some point, he simply couldn't hold back anymore, his feet settling firmly on the ground before tightening his grip on your hips and beginning to bounce you up and down his cock while his hips canted up with inmensurable speed.

"Cunt's so tight, baby. Never letting you go again. 's all for me, right? Get to have you every day now," he mumbled against your chest, lips chasing your tits every now and then.

"Y-yes, Nonnie. All for you! Missed you so much, Nonnie. Thought of you every day," you hiccuped, back arching to give him better access to your tits, "I was so heartbroken over you ... Never letting you go now. You're mine. Right, Nonnie?"

He nodded and cried at your words, heartbroken just at the thought of your own heartbreak. He had to remind himself that none of that mattered anymore. Now he finally had you. The dam had finally broken and allowed the two of you to end your prolonged animosity and give you a chance to finally be his. Just how he had been yours all these years.

Your love making (if you could even call it that considering the animalistic nature of it) could only last so long before Vernon finally burst, which meant he had to take matters into his own hands and make sure you found your end with him. Reaching between you, his hand searched for your clit, finding it in only a few seconds. Disconnecting his head from your chest, he went back to kissing your neck, reaching your ear so he could talk you through your orgasm.

"Need you to cum for me, okay, baby? Love you so much ... Need to cum together, pretty, yeah?",

"L-love you! So much, Nonnie ... Never stopped."

Those were the last words you managed to let out before your orgasm took over you, whining the prettiest cries Vernon had ever heard. The tightening of your cunt finally allowed Vernon to let go, joining you in your high as neither of your hips halted their movements.

Holding you all throughout, Vernon had never felt as close to anyone else as he did to you in this moment. If you needed to hate him in order to protect yourself from his betrayal, then Vernon fully accepted it. No part of him blamed you for keeping him at an arm's length at all times. Specially if this was the final outcome. Now that he finally had you, he didn't care what journey he had to live through to get here. All he cared about was the gorgeous girl of his dreams crying in his arms as pleasure overtook her.

Your orgasms had been so incredibly intense that you needed some moments to catch your breaths before speaking up. That, and all the emotions that must've been going through your minds.

Holding each other despite the silence, you stayed like that for a few minutes, simply nuzzling against each other as a demonstration of love for one another. Vernon's mind still couldn't believe the reciprocation of your feelings. His heart was still beating far too loud under your touch, but he felt at ease.

"I really do love you," he spoke against your neck, "And I'll never stop regretting what I did to you."

You created a small distance between you to look at him, caressing his cheek in your hand as you spoke.

"I'll never be okay with what you did, but I love you. You were young, and you made a mistake. I can't stand hating you anymore."

He smiled, turning his head to kiss the palm you had against his cheek.

"You can hate me, as long as you love me too," he said. He knew it made no sense, but he also knew you understood.

"I love you," you said again with a smile.

"I love you."

to read short 2.3k word continuation you can go join my monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content: smut, afab reader, comfort sex, face riding, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 714 (teaser); 2379 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"Isn't it unprofessional for you to ask an ex member to join the band again just cause you're sleeping together?", asked Chan as he tuned his guitar absentmindedly.

"For the last time, that's not why I'm asking her. I've wanted her back for years, you guys know this. I'm just rectifying a mistake."

You giggled from your seat on the couch, enjoying that the guys still gave Vernon a hard time for what he had done all those years back.

The news of your relationship had come as a surprise only to a few people. Most of your friends had seen it coming from miles. The sexual tension was just too high, or at least that's what Jeonghan had said when you first broke the news, Seungkwan nodding in agreement.

After that day in the studio, you and Vernon entered an annoyingly disgusting honeymoon phase. Unfortunately for everyone else, this phase seemed to be endless. Two months in, and you were still attached to the hip, unable to keep your hands or eyes away from each other.

Your newfound revelation of love for Vernon also brought back up old dynamics between the two of you. With his encouragement, you began occasionally playing with the guys, sometimes joining in as second guitar on stage, standing at the back, right next to Vernon and his drums. Your relationship was a point of conversation for fans, but you still kept it private among the people in the company.

Currently, Vernon had made the executive decision that he wanted you to officially be featured in a remixed version of one of their most successful songs from their debut album. The plan had already been there, but Vernon's suggestion of having you on the track rather than anyone else had surprised some people at the company, especially when they found out you agreed.

Vernon had been incredibly busy all week, leaving this as the first time he'd been able to see all of you together to briefly discuss the future plans for the track. His plan was to make a quick stop and then finally rest in your arms back at your apartment.

"Anyways, you should never forget that she was lead guitar before you ever were. We could always just send you to the back again," interrupted Seungkwan, giving Chan an unserious yet pointed look.

Chan raised his hands in defense, "Hey! I'm not the one who kicked her out!"

Groaning, Vernon walked over to you and buried his face in your neck, tired features clear in his face as he wrapped his arms around your waist, "Make them stop. Please."

Giggling again, you opted for a better option, taking the clearly tired boy by the hand and leaving the studio, bidding your goodbyes to the guys.

You had only stopped by to say hi to your friends while on your way to your apartment, knowing Vernon was tired from a long day of recording for various other activities he had recently embarked in as a new face in the industry. They were already aware you'd be recording a song with them, but simply enjoyed giving Vernon a hard time. Maybe even more than you did.

On the ride home, Vernon had fallen asleep, absentmindedly cuddling against you on the back of the car. Vernon had naturally taken on the role of the main face of the group, which also came with endless work and promotions he sometimes had to do solo, just like today. You were more fortunate in that area, making most of your money off royalties and not needing to make public appearances at any point.

When you finally arrived home, you continued dragging Vernon along with you, who would only groan occasionally at the thought of even stepping foot into the elevator. Making it all the way to your suite had taken a while due to the size of the building, but when you made it, Vernon immediately threw off his shirt and stripped down to his boxers, letting himself fall face first into the bed, groaning at the mattress cushioning his fall.

You stared for a few moments, thinking of what you could do to help your tired boyfriend relax after a tiresome week of work. Then the idea suddenly came to you.

...

find 2.3k word continuation on either kofi or patreon!

[lace4forest]

The Chains Ages in Linked Universe.

I saw people talking about the Chains age in Linked Universe, and I have my thoughts on them.

I've done a LOT of research on the Links and how old they were, I even tried to figure out how long Legend was in Koholint for. (We go with old Canon because new Canon doesn't make since,(Footnote 1) but basically that's the last time we see Legend in normal Zelda Canon)

Anyways-

This is from Jojo's QnA doc on the Linked Universe Discord- ^^^

And this is my thoughts on their ages. Side note, I'm not going off of looking up their ages through google, I'm going off info you can find in game and cross referencing it with other games and the Hyrule Historia and Encyclopedia. Time was 9 in his game and that's about 20 years later so he would be 29. (Unless if we counting Majora's Mask, then he could be 30-32)

Twilight was a "Late Teen" (Also it does state hold old he is) so 17 making him 21 to 22.

Warriors is also "Late Teen" (He was a trainee at the beginning of the war) making him 22 to 26

Sky is also stated to be around 17 making him 18 to 19

Wild is 117 and this would make him either almost 118 or just turned 118.

Legend just became "Of age" in ALBW and that's 16 in his era making 17.

Hyrule we know is 16 making him 18.

Four is 15 or 16 in Four Sword, but he isn't "Of age" so probably 15. making him 17.

And we know Wind is 13 almost 14. (He said it himself)

I just find it very funny the Toons are the youngests. Age explanation and footnotes below cut.

Time - He is 9 at the beginning of his game and becomes an "Adult" 7 years later at 16. This is one of the times it proves that 16 is "Of age" in the Zelda series. We aren't sure how much time has passed between Oot and MM, so we can guess he's 29 to 32 (Making Link in MM 10 to 12 as a good guess.)

Twilight - It's stated in a guide that he is 17. His game also was originally supposed to be a continuation of Oot and MM in the Wind Waker style, with Time all grown up and living on his own. But they changed it to what it is now. So it's just 17+4 or 5 making him 21 to 22.

Warriors - There is no official age and you do NOT need to be 17 to wield the master sword. All we know is that he's "Late Teens" making him between 16 to 19. Making his age in LU between 22 to 26.

Sky - He is stated to be around 17. Making him 18 or 19 (Even if we say he's 16, then he would be 17 to 19.)

Wild - he is 117 years old. We know this. it's been "Less than a year" so he could be almost 118 or already be 118, he probably doesn't remember his Birthday, so there is no saying exactly. (His Zelda should know though. Maybe.)

Legend - SO. I feel like people are gonna fight me on this, but I got the math and hours of research to back it. At the beginning of ALTTP, some guards say that Link shouldn't be out here or that he's too young to wield a sword (Or even start learning to) In BOTW Wild got the Master Sword at 12-13. And people said he was still very young and a prodigy, which means he was already learning the sword by that time. and we also know that in BOTW they think of "Of Age" as 17 instead of 16, meaning they probably make them learn stuff when they are a little older. There's also the connection to Oot, In Wind Waker its stated that Wind is the same age as Time when he Defeated Ganon (Making Wind Canonically 16) And Twilight is the age of what Time should have been when he decided to settle down, making him 17, which leaves us with Legend's age. Most likely taking Times age from the beginning of his game. LONG STORY SHORT- In ALTTP Link is between 9 to 10. NOW. The Oracle games, Link is still a CHILD, so before "Of Age" (Aka less than 16) A LOT of people call him a CHILD and wonder why he has a sword! making him most likely around 11 or 12. Same things with Link's Awakening. (FOOTNOTE 1). Then we have ALBW. Link has a job now and is learning to become a smith. so most likely after his return home, as well as he needs to learn this stuff before becoming a full adult, but then again he lives alone, so we could accurately say 15 to 16. SO LONGER STORY SHORT. We can say 16 and be GENEROUS. Making Legend 17 in LU (but probably closer to 16).

Hyrule - It's literally a plot in his game he is 16, making him 18 in LU.

Four - He is a Child in Minish Cap (So less than 16) and same with Four Swords. He has to be older than 12 because he was given a sword willingly. So between 13 to 15, but we can be nice and say 15 in Four Swords, making him 17 in LU.

Wind -

I do want to say, it's literally stated in his game he is the same age as Time when he KILLED Ganon as an ADULT. It's just the art style of the game.... He JUST turned 16, so people are still calling him a child. (Like how people call 18 year olds children in rl) But also he does look 12 in game... ART STYLE WHYYYYYY (also thats what Twi was supposed to look like lmaoooo)

---

FOOTNOTE 1 - The Encylapedia has wrong information that's easy to disprove and I want to throw it out a window. It also switched the order of the Oracle games and Link's Awakening, even though Oracle of Ages LITERALLY ENDS With Link taking the boat out to sea to head home, and LITERALLY Transitions to Link's Awakenings Opening. ITS THE SAME BOAT. I'm Gonna Cry- NINTENDO WHYYYYY.

[wowzees]

no matter what

lando norris x reader

y/n is not used!

a/n: this is a short story from uni- i have to make a collection of them

the one i posted earlier was also one, but these have not recived feedback from my professer or have been majorly edited. enjoy!

High school felt like the longest four years of my life. Days blurred into each other, routines became a way of life, and I thought I had everything figured out. I was one of those kids who had his group of friends, the sport he played, and the classes he took, all laid out in a neat, predictable order. Nothing ever really changed.

And then, there was her.

She’d been there from the start. The girl who wasn’t just a friend,she was something more, though I never said it out loud. We’d grown up together, laughed at the same inside jokes, gotten in trouble for the same stupid things. She knew me better than anyone else, maybe even better than I knew myself. She was the one I could count on for anything. She was the one who could make me laugh on days when nothing felt right. When life got heavy, when there was uncertainty about my future, she was the one I turned to. And I thought that would never change. Or maybe I didn’t think about it at all. Why would I need to? She was always there, like a constant in my life, something I could rely on. But looking back, I see the warning signs. Small things that I chose not to notice. 

At first, it was little things— how she stopped coming to my house after school everyday. How she stopped calling me for big milestones. It’s easy to ignore changes like that. Until they hit you all at once. And then, it was too late.

Without her presence, I started hanging out with the kids from my soccer team more, and more. I told them about all my problems with her. Their solution? They wanted me to prank her. I wanted to fit in. So, I agreed.

Maybe I was too busy with soccer, or maybe I just took her for granted. But somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her the way I always had. I saw how my actions hurt her. But, somewhere along the way i stopped seeing that. I stopped seeing how my actions hurt her.

But I didn’t think much about it at the time. After all, things had always worked themselves out between us, right? I guess I never thought I’d lose her, guess I thought that she’d always be there.

How wrong I was.

And seeing her now after graduation, getting ready to go to college and saying goodbye to friends for one last time, I can't help but remember a time when things were so much simpler.

Age, 7. Grade, 2

“Lan, wait up��� she yelled, peddling her feet. I slowed my bike down and turned to face her. 

“Hurry up! You're being slow.” she peddled faster. Too fast. I watched in slow motion as she rides over a rock, flies through the air as if it’s molasses, then falls in what seems the same way a feather falls through the air. Then promptly crashes into a trashcan, scattering trash all around and on top of her. 

I quickly stopped my bike and ran to her. She was sitting there, covered in trash from the trash can, pouting. As I stood over her, and saw her covered in trash, I almost laughed. “Stop! It’s really not funny” she sniffled, though she now seemed a little happier. 

“I've bin waiting for this to happen” I joke, hoping to make her laugh.

“It's really not that funny” she snorts while giggling.

 “Yeah, well you’re still laughing” I argue. As she struggles to her feet, I realize I should probably help her. As I move to put her arm around my shoulder, she shoves me off. 

“I don't need your help, butthead” she says, crossing her arms and stares at me with her lips pursed. 

“Sorry, man, chill.” I say, not really understanding why she didn't want help. 

“I got worse when I first started playing volleyball, it's just a little scrape on my knee. It’ll heal” 

"Ok "I mumbled, feeling a little stupid.

As we walked home, we talked about silly things, like how funny she looked covered in trash, or about the people we didn't like at school. Before we parted ways, she threw her arms around me and pressed a quick, fleeting kiss that was gone as soon as it started to my cheek. “Bye Lando! I'll see you tomorrow at school!” she said over her shoulder as she ran home.

“Bye” I yell, after she had already disappeared into the house, my cheeks still red.

She had always been brave in her own way. Whether it was running into a trash can then getting back up with a skinned knee and no tears, or hiding her fears behind that stubborn smile of hers, she never changed. She was always the same, brave girl I had known since I was a kid. I wish I had known then how much that bravery would change the course of our friendship.

Age, 12  Grade 7.

The ferris wheel creaked more and more the higher up it went, carrying us higher, and higher into the night sky. Below we could see the rest of the fair, all the people enjoying themselves just like we are.

Her posture was slumped, and she was practically shaking on the little metal bench that lines the side of the carriage.

“Are you scared?” I ask. This wasn't a very normal occurrence, and I was honestly a little surprised. 

“What? Me? No! Of course not. I don't get scared” she responded, her voice shaky, and honestly not very convincing. 

“Hey, it's okay if you are scared. We all have things we are scared of; it doesn't make you weak.” I say in a soft tone, understanding when to tease and when to be comforting. 

“I'm not scared.”

“Yeah? Good, me neither. Honestly, it's really nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah. It’s really nice being up here.”

“I guess it is pretty nice.”

“It's really pretty,” I say with a sigh.

“It is,” she responds with an airy voice.

Little did I know that while I was staring at the sky, she was looking at me.

Ever since that night on the ferris wheel, I had developed a liking for stars. She learned more about stars for me, though I didn't know that then. I thought it was just a coincidence, not something carefully planned. Ever since then, we would spend nights under the stars together, gazing upwards.

Age, 15. Grade 9.

“And that one’s named Altair” she said, pointing up at the brightest star in the sky.

“How do you know this?” I ask while chuckling.

“I learned it when I was in 8th grade for my science fair project. I won.”

“I know, you’ve only told me like a million times.”

“I have not!”

“Uh, yes you have.”

“Excuse yo- wow, it's like, really cold.”

“Here,” I say, shrugging my sweatshirt off. “Take it.”

“No, it's fine really. I don't need it, I’m fine.”

“If you don't take it, I’m actually gonna go insane!”

“Fine” she huffed, sticking her tongue out at me. “Thank you.” she mumbled.

“You're welcome.”

“Lando?”

“Yeah?”

“We'll always be best friends, right?”

“Of course we will. No matter what.”

“No matter what.”

Back then, No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep. Before our future became closer and closer, before I found out she would be going to Yale. No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep under the soft lighting of the stars, but under the fluorescent lights in the highschool hallways, and the pressure from the guys, the promise broke apart. 

“Hey Lan!” she exclaims, coming up to me “Hey,” I respond. “Where are your glasses?” I ask. She has always loved her glasses. She always said it gave her more personality, though I disagree. She has plenty of personality already. 

“Oh, I just switched to contacts for volleyball! It's too impractical to have to play without being able to see, ya know? Do you like them?” I actually think that she looks stunning with or without glasses, but since my friends from the soccer team are with me, I just say 

“ I dunno man, it kinda makes your eyes look too close together.” I feel absolutely terrible as I practically see her deflate. Her normally radiant smile disappears, her shoulders begin to tremble, and her eyes go glassy. At first, she didn't say anything. I could practically see her brain thinking of ways to respond. She was trying to act relaxed about it, but I knew her well. She doesn't do relaxed about these types of things.

 I hear the boys snickering from behind me, making stupid comments about how “he is so right” and “how can she not see that herself?” and “why does she talk so much?”. I'm actually about to turn around and tell them to shut up, and that I am the only one allowed to tease her like that, but before I can, she says something.

“Oh. Well, uh, I should be going to class. I'll see you later, Lando,” she mumbles. Her normally confident posture seemed impossibly timid and shy. Her posture didn't say ‘see you later’.  It said ‘leave me alone’.

While she walked down the hallway, the only thing I could focus on was the fact that she didn't call me Lan .

The next few days, I tried finding her, though she kept on avoiding me. Finally, I found her sitting outside at the tables, eating her lunch alone.

“Hey” I greet softly, sitting down at the table outside. 

“What do you want?” she responded, her tone sharp. She was wearing her glasses again.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said on Tuesday.” I say, barely audible.

“If you're going to say something, say it louder.”

“I wanted to apologize for what I said.” 

“Do you? Do you really? Or is this just another sick prank you and your friends are playing on me, huh? I stood there and took it in tenth grade, when you made fun of my brother, who, by the way looks up to you, in the cafeteria. I stood there and took it in eleventh grade when you texted everyone from my phone things that I would never, ever say about someone and especially TO someone, posted things on instagram that I would NEVER post, and then humiliated me by making me think that you were seriously hurt, then jump up and say “it's a prank” after i started crying? I even stood there and took it when you told me that my eyes were too close together! The one thing you know I'm insecure about, and you make fun of it? You’ve changed Lando! You and your stupid friends have made high school horrible for me! And even though you've been rude, and you've been mean, and you've in general been a nightmare to be around, I'm still in love with you, and I have been for the last 10 years! And I'm done with this! I will not, will not sit here and let you bully me because I’m your ‘best friend’! I stayed your friend because I thought you would notice me! I thought you would realize, but you didn't! And I’m done waiting, okay? I’m done. Bye, Lando.”

By now, she was crying. Before I could respond to her and apologize, I hear laughing and jeering coming from behind me. I turn around and march over to where the boys are standing. They chuckle upon seeing me, and I absolutely lose it.

“Are you guys actually stupid? You made me lose the most important thing in my life, because you ‘thought it would be funny’? She is worth more than you guys will ever be. She was a better friend, a better athlete, but most importantly, a better person than you guys! I’m done with y’all.” 

I turn back to where she was standing, but she's not there anymore.

The next few days, I look for her. I see her a couple of times, but she always manages to avoid me. 

One night, as I’m packing for college, I hear someone knocking on the front door.

I run down the stairs, thinking it’s the pizza I ordered for me and my sister, but it’s not. It’s her.

“Uhm, I just wanted to return this.” she says, handing me my sweatshirt that i gave to her 3 years ago. “I just thought I should return it before I leave for Yale.”

“When do you leave?” I ask, fearing the answer.

“Tomorrow.” 

The second I hear that word, my world stops. I hazily thank her for bringing the sweatshirt back, then slam the door. I vaguely remember stumbling up the stairs, and sitting down on my bed, my mind running a thousand miles a minute.

��I’m going to have to live without the person who was there for me at every problem, at every bad game, at every milestone in my life, and I lost her because of my own mistakes. I lost her because I let those stupid kids influence my decisions. I lost her because I didn't know how to communicate my feelings. And now, I’ll never get her back.

I was right. I never got her back. And deep down inside, I knew I was never going to get her back. I knew this when I met Emma. I knew this when I proposed to Emma. I knew this when I invited her to our wedding. But that truly, did not prepare me for when I saw her.

“And do you, Lando Norris, take Emma Sand to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part? ” asked the priest, his voice echoing through the church that held all of our friends and loved ones. 

“ I do.” 

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see her, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. After years of knowing her,  I could almost hear her thinking ‘that should have been me.’

And I feel horrible and disgusting and gross thinking this on my wedding day, but I'm inclined to agree. It should have been her. And it would have been, if not for my own stupidity.

And seeing her, brought me right back to all those years ago. And made me wonder; what happened to ‘no matter what.’

[andy-kuramy]

So... The year is ending and I just wanted to say a little (big) "thank you for being there" to everyone who I met on Tumblr... Because honestly, I wouldn't be the same unhinged idiot that I am Rn if I didn't meet such wonderful people in the span of three/four months

First there's @cherrytasticc, I have known her for 2 years now, science fair, digital drawings and all, but these last months of the year, I've grown towards her, making her almost like my lil sis that I would die to protect, Same goes with @melikedraw, I knew her through her posts on Tumblr, and one day she simply dm me and now I can't see Gaolang or Sendo without remembering her every single time

After a few days I ended up knowing @itshirohi, Still very shy about almost every interaction with him, but he is a nice person (A bopping maniac, maybe) but overall I don't regret dming him, specially because I adore drawing his Ocs!

The same happened with @kunhisstuff, After all, I keep going with my Oc search to make more friends on Tumblr, and I happen to stumble across their account, and accidentally falling deeply for one of his oc's!

With @aneenasevla it was in the opposite way, because surprisingly she was the one to "adopt me" (extroverted bean getting adopted by another extrovert) to be fair, I wanted to talk to her, but shyness won that time, but the order of the factors does not alter the product (or the fact that I love the Heavy Bakery fanfic <3)

My memory is a bit blurry from here on, two other mutuals that I ended up growing found of were @souxton and @rottencarr0t! Both of them gave me a surprise when they understood spanish (mostly rot since she speaks it as a first language, but it was a nice moment w soux too!)

As little honor mentions I include @riddscorner and @adamant1ne since I haven't talked to them that much, but I wish to be able to get to know them a little better :3

And the last person that spawned just this month and unironically made me cry of happiness when they told me that my silliness made their day, @habuoibeo!

I really wanted to say thank you for being here when I arrived onto Tumblr and cheering me up without knowing it, even if you think it was just a message, just a fanart or a simple drawing, Maybe it made me feel better just when I needed it and I seriously appreciate every single one of you <3

Happy new year Guys ✨

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

Brand New One Shot - Last Preview

Last preview before I post the full thing either later tonight or tomorrow! No active warnings but the cliffhanger is suggestive~

"Stay...please..." you managed to respond. You made your way over to your bed and gestured for him to follow. You sat down crossed legged near the edge of the bed, Lucifer mirroring your actions. You took a deep breath before speaking once more. "I'm not angry with you, you know."

A strange mixture shock and confusion flashed across Lucifer's face. "Y-You're not?"

You smiled wearily. "No, I promise. I mean, I'm a little taken aback..." Lucifer winced. "...but not in a bad way! If anything, I feel...flattered, you know?" Your face burned at your own candor. A quick glance at him showed he felt the same heat in his own cheeks.

"R-Regardless," Lucifer cleared his throat, "it was still wrong of me. I could try to give excuses about...my ex-wife being gone for more than 7 years now, or tell you that watching you from afar just sparked something in me that I hadn't felt in God know how long, or..."

"You've been watching me?" you teased, flashing him a small grin.

"Shhhhit, well, I uhh...only sometimes!" Lucifer tried to reason. "A-And not for very long! I just, umm, I just noticed how kind you are with everyone you come into contact with, and you're extremely helpful when it comes to the hotel! And your smile...I MEAN, uhh, C-Charlie absolutely adores you with the way she goes on and on about your progress! We both wonder how you even ended up down here in the first place. And well, you...you're," he gulped, "you're the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on..."

You sat there frozen, your body trembling slightly. Your mind raced a million miles a minute. You tried to get your mouth so form any sort of words, but nothing. Lucifer started to panic.

"I-I'm sorry! That was really forward of me! I shouldn't have-I uhh...God, this is the worst fucking apology imaginable!" Lucifer brought his hands to his face, covering his eyes and lowering his head. "Maybe it would be best if I just g-MMPH!"

You don't know what came over you, but somehow your lips crashed into Lucifer's. His hands flew from his face, now gripping the bed sheets beneath him. He sat perfectly still, but only for a moment. He couldn't help but give into you, letting his eyelids flutter closed and melting under the kiss. You pulled away after only a few seconds, Lucifer leaning his head forward slightly, still needing more. His crimson irises had grown into saucers, his face hot as the sun. Having the literal King of Hell flustered beyond belief from a single kiss was a sight you absolutely wanted to see more of.

"If you think I'm beautiful, then you are someone who is beyond beauty, your majesty," you cooed. You weren't completely sure where this sudden burst of boldness had sprung from, but you liked it. And from what you were witnessing, all signs pointed to Lucifer being completely enamored with it as well.

You went back to your seated position, but now Lucifer was on all fours, crawling ever so slowly towards you. "P-Please..." he begged, "I-I need more..." His face was now mere inches away. He rested his forehead on yours, waiting for your lips to touch his again.

"You want me to kiss you again?" you asked playfully. "Then you need to tell me something, darling."

Lucifer's breathing had picked up at the sound the pet name you'd given him, his eyes screwed shut. "A-Anything!"

"Tell me then," you said as you began to stroke his soft blond hair, "what were you thinking about when you were touching yourself to me?"

[eurydicees]

Also, I just saw you’re 23, I am too! It’s rough out here. Another idea: any characters, what’s it like being 23? Where are they at this point? I feel like hq shows that as being sooo grown up but like I’m just a big teenager right?? Idk just rambling

being 23 is so rough sometimes lmfao. i've got friends from high school getting married and friends from college having early life crises. i'm working full time and living alone but tbh mostly feel like i'm playing at house rn more than i am living on my own. whatever. it's fine. early 20s is just a silly time of life. anyways i don't have a fic for u but i Do have a headcanon list.

in no particular order, haikyuu characters as stupid things i've done in my early twenties:

atsumu: having a brother who is a chef does not prevent him from forgetting to take the cheese packet out of the mac and cheese box and dumping that into boiling water with the pasta.

udai: does not remember the last time he ate a vegetable.

oikawa: friends all went to a party without him and his coping method was getting so so so wasted on white rum and falling asleep on the living room carpet immediately after giving another friend a tarot card reading saying their breakup is imminent (to be fair, it was. but it was still kinda rude).

iwaizumi: after class, was led to a private stairwell by a friend, jokes "haha are you taking me to a hidden location to kill me." and then received a love confession. proceeded to say "uh. i'll think about it." then did finger guns. and said "im just gonna. go" and then fucking. ran. like not exaggerating, ran.

kageyama: went on a date. did Not At All Know it was a date, despite the very very obvious flirting. yes this was the same person as in the previous bullet point. don't look at me like that.

akaashi: took a 100 level class senior year and did not pay attention to a single lecture. instead wrote thousands of words of fanfiction in the classroom every day.

atsumu (again): another cooking one. i just think he'd be a terrible cook. sorry. anyways. "it's been 20 min, why isn't this scallion pancake im pan frying cooking yet?" (<- did not turn on the stove burner.)

yachi: hm the light in this room doesn't work. guess i'll just learn to see in the dark instead of inconveniencing anyone by asking to fix it.

akaashi (again): completely fell in love at first sight, but fast forward five months and it actually somehow worked out? however the five months were filled with the most insufferable pining possible, which could have been resolved so so so easily. also started talking about marriage, like, six months in.

bokuto: got sad. went out into a raging snowstorm in socks and no jacket. laid down in the snow for a long time. somehow, miraculously, didn't get a cold afterwards?

akaashi and/or yachi: changed majors and career paths because a pretty upperclassman asked them to. (i am very happy in my chosen path but jesus christ THAT was why i did it?)

hinata: flew from coast to coast of the country, then drove halfway back to the midwest in the span of three days. started a new job on the fourth day. didn't sign a lease on an apartment until the fifth day.

semi: skipped a day of work to drive four hours there and four hours back for a fall out boy concert. totally worth it but driving at 4am after a concert wasn’t the smartest thing ever to be done.

kuroo: started reading homestuck in the year of our lord 2024. this is an attempt to remain in contact with long distance friendships (by doing a bookclub) but jesus fucking christ dude.

ok this is getting too long and i needed to be ready for work, like 15 min ago lol. maybe i'll write more of these later, but i hope you enjoy these and my silly disasters are a little comforting :)

[esther-dot]

MODERN AUs

tis the damn season 5k by @wildflower-daydreamer

Every year, Sansa comes back to her small hometown of Winterfell for Christmas. And each year, she and Jon fall into their old routine for her short stay. This year would be no different. Okay, maybe a little different. Inspired by the song 'tis the damn season by Taylor Swift. corresponding gif

Mistletoe Merriment 4k by @geekprincess26

Theon Greyjoy loves kissing pretty girls, so naturally he loves breaking out the mistletoe and spiked punch every year at the Starks' annual Christmas party. And every year, the girl he kissed the prior year shows up with an awesome new boyfriend - every girl except for Sansa Stark, who ends up with slimy, pathetic gits. Theon will have to go to ridiculous lengths, not to mention risk the legendary wrath of Jon Snow, in order to get Sansa the boyfriend she deserves. But he'll do it, because Theon Greyjoy is a loyal friend - and he'll never let a stupid sprig of mistletoe get the better of him.

When the Grinch Met the Redhead 1k by @yenstarkofrivia

the one where Sansa likes to sing Christmas songs at 3am and Jon is a miserable Grinch

merry and bright 27k by @cellsshapedlikestars

ex-child star Sansa Stark is in desperate need of money and takes a role in a Hallmark Christmas movie, filming in the mountain resort town of Wintertown, Vermont. There, Fire Chief Jon Snow is on set to oversee safety regulations. Sansa hates Christmas and she hates small towns, but a casual fling with a rugged local fireman might be just what she needs.

four 5k by @cellsshapedlikestars (I've reread this fic many times)

She had never put Jon and Christmas together, but now she thinks she'll never be able to separate them. or, four Christmases, three midnight excursions, two angry siblings, and one boy at the center of it all

Be My +1 47k by @vivilove-jonsa

Seven months after she attended a wedding with her brother's work colleague (and gave him a tipsy, unrequited kiss when he walked her to the door), Sansa Stark finds herself in the unenviable situation of desperately needing a date for her prep school reunion at a ski resort which will also be attended by her ex-boyfriend/boss's son, Harry Hardyng and her Former-BFF/Frenemy, Margaery Tyrell.

The Best Christmas Present (Is You) 3k @foreverreadingbeautifulbooks

Every year the Starks and honorary Starks spent the week of Christmas in the most northern of the lodges they owned. No guests were allowed to visit the lodge during that week and it was the one time a year where no one in their family was allowed to work. Everyone hung out, played in the snow, skied, baked, ate lots of food, and simply enjoyed being together. It was refreshing to spend so much time with her family since she felt like she’d barely seen them this last year. But, if Sansa was honest, after five days of hanging out with them nonstop, she’d been looking forward to spending a little bit of time by herself. Every year on Christmas Eve, while her mom and dad picked out the tree, Bran would play chess with their neighbor’s son, Lyanna - who was notorious for buying gifts at the last minute - went shopping, Arya and the rest of the boys would challenge each other to skiing contests, and Sansa would take that opportunity to have her own private holiday celebration indoors. She would warm up some hot chocolate, turn up her Christmas playlist, and snuggle down in some blankets to wrap all of her Christmas presents. But not this year. This year she was stuck with Jon Snow and his broken ankle.

the perfect gift for christmas for me would be 5k

“Be my boyfriend,” Sansa says. Jon's eyebrows raise, and she amends, “My fake boyfriend." or, Sansa, Jon, and fake dating for the winter holidays.

Christmas Carriage Ride 1.5k

Jon Snow has grown tired of his holiday job driving a horse-drawn carriage around the streets of Chicago. Then Sansa shows up, and Jon sees the city through new eyes

#LockedinLovers 8k by @amymel86

the one where Sansa and Jon are locked in a big ol' department store over Christmas because of a convenient snow storm

The Nightmare Before Christmas 3k by @ladysalvatore3

Sansa Stark was far from being perfect; she occasionally forgot to put the lid back on the toothpaste, she was constantly arriving late to places, she didn’t know how to change a tire or had any idea of what path her life was going to take, but there were three things that Sansa was absolutely sure about. She loved to write. Christmas was the best holiday ever. She hated Jon Snow.

'Tis the Damn Season 4k by @justhereforfandomandfriends

Four times Jon doesn’t ask Sansa to stay, and the one time he does. Sansa Stark was sneaking out of her childhood bedroom to sleep in Jon Snow's bed. If you'd told teenage Sansa, she'd have laughed in scorn (but she’d have flushed too). Twenty-nine year old Sansa was almost used to it. By now, it was practically a tradition, and there was nothing Sansa loved more than holiday traditions. corresponding moodboard

when the snow falls and the white wind blows 10k

Sansa Stark and Jon Snow had never been particularly close, but since her brother died and the two moved to the same city they have been spending more time together. Sansa tells herself Jon sees her as the little girl who lived in the house beside his. Jon tells himself Sansa sees him as nothing more than her brother's best friend. But when the two are snowed in on the way back home for Christmas, their thoughts change.

Shamelessly Un-christmas 3k by @jade-masquerade

After Jon denied her a kiss under the mistletoe last Christmas, Sansa tries to make amends.

A Tale of Two Christmases 2k by @jade-masquerade

A Christmas gift mix-up involving a special sweater brings Sansa and Jon together. corresponding fanart by @grrmartin

all i want for christmas is you...to tell everyone we're together 2k by @ben-barnes-is-my-husband

It's Christmas and all Jon wants is for he and Sansa to be public with their relationship.

Who's coming to you tonight? 1k by @kissed-by-circe

“So you want me, me and no one else, to dress up as Nikolaus and bring wee-“ his mind scrambles as he tries to remember the boy’s name, because Arya only uses pet names for him, and he doubts that her sister named her child Woolfling, Dr Snuggles, or Baby-Bear, “wee… Ar- Artos some candy, and tell him that he’s been naughty?” Arya forces Jon to play Nikolaus for her lil nephew, and somehow forgets to mention that singlemom!Sansa is really really hot

Lights 7k by @charmtion

Two years ago, Arya turned up on Jon and Sansa’s doorstep and left after a single, soul-aching conversation. Now they are gathered back together for a Stark family Christmas, where old wounds and new secrets threaten to collide.

Door to Door Delivery 2k by @hilarychuff

A drabble inspired by my While You Were Sleeping (1995). Jon walks Sansa home during a Chicago winter.

The Spirit of Christmas Gifset by @aureliacamargo

All I Want for Christmas Jonsa vid by @aerishe

FOLGERSCEST INSPIRED

(yes, that commercial prompted Jonsa content which makes me laugh so it gets a special shout-out!)

Perks of the Queen 5k by @intothecest

After years in his exile in the Night's Watch, Jon Snow finally answers a summons to Winterfell from his sister, Queen in the North, just in time for a festival. Gifts are exchanged, long-simmering feelings percolate up, and, oh yes, coffee has come to Westeros.

The Best Part of Waking Up 5k @jillypups

After a long stint up in Alaska doing manly things, Jon Snow comes back to the Stark family home where he spent nearly all of his childhood, where he called the Stark kids brother and sister. But things change after a few years go by.

Gifset by @cindy-clawford

OTHER

Light in the Darkest Days of the Year Little Women AU/historical AU 9k by @sibyldisobedience

Winterfell was a handsome old house of modest proportions, that had once seen better days. Its green shutters and gables had faded to a dull grey. Its stone walls could use a new coat of whitewash. And its family, the Starks, had once been counted amongst the most distinguished in Wintertown — a small, sleepy hamlet, just north of the bustling port city of White Harbour, where it was as likely to snow in the summer as not. But despite this dreary description, Winterfell was the happiest little home in the neighbourhood.  Even on the darkest, coldest days of winter, the little grey house radiated warmth and light from its frosted-over windows, like a beacon. 

Fairy Lights and Mistletoe 3k Hogwarts AU, by @maybetwice

Sansa has every intention of going to the Yule Ball with Jon, even though he isn't sure why.

Shine Your Light on Me 2k canon verse @thatgirlnevershutsup

Let's celebrate a Northern holiday with Sansa and Jon! Think about a Hallmark Christmas movie set in Westeros, and you're on the right track.

A Stark Solstice 1.5k canon verse @ritzintherabbithole

It’s only fitting, she thought, that fresh snow should blanket the land around Winterfell today of all days. It is pristine, virgin white snow, seemingly pure, but Sansa know knows the kind of monsters that hide in the cold and her time spent in King’s Landing cured her of any instinct to trust appearances.

A midwinter night's dream 2k canon verse

After the Long Night, Sansa fears winter more than ever. How will her new born daughter survive a winter that might last for years? But magic is gone from Westeros, and soon it becomes clear that every season only lasts for a few moons. Though winters are still brutal, there is always an end in sight. And every year on the darkest day of them all, the Starks in Winterfell have a feast.

Festive Jonsa Edit

Christmas Is Here Gifset and Merry Christmas Gifset by @tiny-little-bird

PRE CANON - WESTERN - FAIRYTALE - REGENCY - LITTLE WOMEN - SEASON SIX - ANNE OF GREEN GABLES - THE GIRL IN GREY - FREE CITIES - FAIRYTALE PART II - POLITICAL MARRIAGE - SALTY TEENS - POST CANON - RICKON LIVES - JON X ALAYNE

[reverseblackholeofwords]

Not to be sappy on the tumblr dot org, but at the beginning of this year, I literally began to question if I was ever going to really write again. If maybe I just didn't love it anymore and I'd been wrong for years thinking it was something I would do for the rest of my life. That maybe somehow I'd just grown out of it at some point, or I just didn't have enough room in my head for it anymore.

Which is wild because I've been writing stories since I was six or seven. Like they taught Tiny Me how to form sentences in first grade and she took that pencil and ran with it. (My first ever story I remember writing was a Charlotte's Web fix-it fic btw, I'm not joking) But that's how much writing means to me, I'm twenty years into this now. It's been with me all this time, and in January I would've told you I didn't even want to try to write anymore.

It was maybe the most I've ever questioned my own sense of self, because I'd been forcing myself to write for almost four full years at that point and never felt that same sense of joy I used to when writing. I kept hitting my head against a word document trying to remember what I thought was so wonderful about this, and again and again I was disappointed and gave up.

And yet a few months and one (honestly kinda silly) hyperfixation later and I've written around 105-110,000 words just this summer. That's a full-length novel. That's more than I've written in the last four years combined. By a lot.

And the amount of joy it's brought me again? Just to remember what made me love writing in the first place? It's like stumbling over the other half of my personality I've been missing and going- Oh, there you are! Let's go, dude, we've got stuff to do!

All of this rambling to say, if you've lost the spark for that thing that you thought you'd always do forever, even if it takes almost four years like it did with me, give it time and give yourself some grace. Life sucks sometimes, we're all tired, and it takes a period of dormancy for your brain to rest up and recharge.

And then when you do find that weird or silly or angsty or whatever Spark of Inspiration, take that little guy and run with it. Go build it into a bonfire or wherever this metaphor is going. Have fun and revel in the joy of it again. Ignore anyone who tries to tell you that you're doing it wrong, it's your bonfire, dude. Toast some marshmallows or something, you deserve it.

[russellsppttemplates]

Spiders should be pink (Mick Schumacher)

Mick is more than happy to answer all of Mila's questions

Note: english is not my first language. this is a long piece that I hope will get the interactions back up (I love getting your requests and overall having you interact with the posts and having some random thoughts shared too!), so I hope you enjoy this piece that was mainly inspired by conversations I've had with my four year old cousin lately.

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

Tw: mentions spiders

my masterlist

"It should be okay, but I'll talk to him just to be sure. And if for some reason there isn't a way, I can go to yours for the weekend", you said over the phone before bidding goodbye and ending the call.

Your cousin was going on a work trip with her husband, since they worked for the same company, and since your aunt and uncle were also our of town, she wanted to know if you were available to look after their daughter Mila for an overnight stay. It was all fine by you since you had the weekend free, but you still had to check in with your boyfriend since it was the place you shared with him and if he didn't mind having Mila, your four year second cousin.

"Mick", you called after looking inside the home gym and entering, seeing he was already stretching on the mat, "Liebling", he replied back, signalling you had his attention even though he was not looking at you, "my cousin needs me to watch Mila for the weekend, and I was wondering if it was okay if the came to stay with us", you began, "I can go and stay at their place, too. They leave on a saturday morning and come back by the end of Sunday", you explained.

Getting up and grabbing his towell, your sweaty boyfriend made his way to you, "of course she can come over and spend the weekend here. You think she'll be okay with it being a new space for her? For me it's fine, I have no problem having little Mila over", he smiled sweetly, "I think she'll be fine, I'll probably just need to keep some things away from her hands, and maybe check if there are any sharp corners that she can easily knock into", you mused, thinking about the way the furniture sat when you felt Mick's hands on your waist, "can we do that after we go for a shower?", he said, nipping on your neck before looking up at you for confirmation to go further, tapping your butt so you could jump and circle his waist with your legs, "I would like that very much, my love", you said, latching to him despite the sweaty clothes and letting him take you to the bathroom.

.

You and Mick wake up a little bit earlier than usual, just wanting to check if everything was fine and safe to have Mila over for her overnight say before you made breakfast for you and Mick while you waited for them to drop her off, "she must be so grown up, I remember the photos you showed me of her when she was little, and when we went to her birthday, was it last year? I think so, I remember the number three balloons", Mick mused, "she is, and she's very curious and witty too!".

"That must be them", you said getting up once you heard the bell ring, Mick following you as you headed to the door to meet them, "Hello, Mila! How are you, bug?", you asked once the little girl started running to you, arms open so you took the hint to catch her, "I'm good! Am I really going to spend some time with you?", she said before she noticed Mick, "hello", she waved her little hand, earning a wave back from your boyfriend when he was done greeting your cousin and her husband, "I remember you, you're Y/N's boyfriend!", she said excitedly, waving at him a lot more confidently now.

After sorting a few things with your cousin, she bid her parents goodbye with a small tear in her eye, not wanting you to see her sadness from being away from her parents.

"Mila, do you want to go see our dog?", Mick asked, thinking that maybe a distraction would do her some good. "You have a dog too?", she asked, looking up at Mick, "yes, have you not met Angie before?", your boyfriend replied, earning a shake from her head, figuring that all of the times you had been with her was either with your family or whenever the Australian Shepherd travelled with him. "Well, you can meet Angie now, she's probably asleep in the living room", you noted, guiding her by placing a hand on her back and heading to the room, seeing Angie indeed laid down by the sofa, ears alert at a new person in the house, "Angie, we want you to meet Mila", Mick, who was right behind you, said, going up to the dog just in case she had a different reaction than expected, being met instead with a happy Angie, looking at Mila and sniffing her hand.

"I have a dog, too. But he's not like her", Mila began, "he's really tall and white with some black spots!", she said, stretching her arms in hopes of showing you and Mick how big her dog really was, "and he's not fluffy like you, Angie, you're like a pillow!", she finished excitedly, stroking Angie's fur. "Do you have a dalmatian?", Mick asked, crouching down so he was at her eye level, "I don't know how he's called, I call him Alfred. But he's not like those on TV, you know the movie with many of them? Alfred has a spot here, here and here only, it's not all over him", she said, nor growing more comfortable with Mick as she pointed to a few spots on his arms and legs, smiling up at him to see him smiling at ther already.

You showed Mila the house, so she would feel more at ease at to know where everything was, Angie trailing right behind her, "Why do you have white hair?", Mila turned around to look at Mick, stunning you both with the question, "because my hair is very light like that", your boyfriend tried to explain to the best of his ability, "and can't you have brown hair like Y/N? Or a little yellow like me?", she pulled a curl from her head, the hair bouncing right back to its place once she let go of it, "but you look a lot like my grandpa, and he is cute too!", she said before looking at you, "I need to pee", Mila announced, "there is a bathroom right here", you opened the door, "do you need my help?", you asked, "I'm a big girl, I don't need it".

Opening and then closing the door for her, you waited for the little girl outside just in case she needed something from you, "she called you an old man", you chuckled at Mick before he giggled too, "what was I supposed to say to her? But at least I'm a cute old man to her", he nudged you, "that you certainly are, a very cute and handsome man", you smiled before kissing his lips, just in time to hear the little girl call for you, "Mick! Y/N! I'm too little to reach the sink to wash my hands!", she said, making you open the door, "can I climb on Angie to reach the sink?", she smiled hopefully at you, accepting her fate when you picked her up so she would be in line with the tap.

Deciding to go outside after a great lunch of pasta and tomato sauce, Mila's eyes sparkled when she saw a swing on the garden, "can we go on there, please?", she asked you both, kicking her legs so she could make her way to the swings, needing you to hold it still so she could climb, "hold your hands here for safety, okay?", you said before you started pushing her, Mick sitting in the bench that was near, noticing a spiderweb on the wooden part, grabbing a leaf to lead the spider to safety, "thank you, Mick, I don't like spiders", Mila said, "you're scared of them?", you asked while you pushed her swing, helping her go back and forth, "yes, they're brown and black and ew", she squirmed, making you two laugh, "would you like them another colour? Why aren't spiders pink?"

"I like purple too", she said, pointing to her swimsuit under her dress that she insisted on putting on right after lunch, "and blue too! Like your eyes? Why are they blue?", she questioned as she left the swing and moved to climb up the slide, going down on it and standing on its end so she could be a bit closer to Mick's face and inspect his eyes, "because my mom and my dad have blue eyes so I also have blue eyes", he said, "And my mama has blue eyes and my papa has brown eyes, so I have brown eyes, that fits", she mused, changing to another topic.

.

It was approaching evening time, and you were still all outside after a afternoon spent swimming, "Can I go on the pool now?", Mila asked and you looked at her, "you might get to cold going fully in", you reasoned with her, "how about I just wet my feet then?", she asked, tempting you to say yes to her, eventually nodding your head, "okay, let's go then", you said, getting up and holding her hand, "Mick, c'mon, I want you to come with us, too!", she urged, using her other hand to call him over to the wide tiled steps of the pool to join you two.

Sitting on the edge, the three of you had your feet in the water and Mila was behaving surprisingly well until she found out she was able to walk along the stairs, going between you and Mick, "I know what you're trying to do, missy", you tickled her once she sat down, cheeks pink as you called her out, "and what was I going to do?", she replied, "you're trying to get your legs wet above your knee, then your thigh and before we know it, you're going to be inside", you said, her smile faltering as she understood you had actually read her plan.

Moving next to Mick, she went to whisper in his ear, "how did she know I wanted to do that?", making your boyfriend giggle, "Y/N's really smart, you know?", he reasoned with her, making them both look at you, "I think it's time we head inside to go for a bath, hm?", you tried, Mick taking advantage of the fact that she was sitting in his lap, holding her as he got up so you could leave, heading inside for a bath to wash the day off while your boyfriend got dinner started.

"Mick! Me and Y/N had a bath with bubbles!", Mila said after she got down the last step of the stairs, announcing it to him as he checked the oven, "Oh, did you now? You smell really nice!", he complimented, "it's my princess bubbles, mama got them for me!", she pointed to you, "she smells like it too!", she smiled. Mick saw you walk down the stairs too, towells in hand so you could put them in the laundry room, "you smell like princesses too, liebling?", he asked, "Oh, like the most beautiful princesses, that's for sure", you chuckled, amused at their conversation, "you can be a princess too, Y/N, you're pretty like them", she reasoned, hugging your legs, "thank you, little one, you're very pretty too. I bet Belle is jealous of you", you smiled, combing her freshly washed curls with your fingers, "if you want to go have a shower now, I'll look after her and dinner, too", you said, noticing Mila running towards the living room and hearing her call for your dog.

"The food is in the oven, it should take a while", he said, kissing your forehead and making his way upstairs, "MICK! You can use my princess bubbles if you want to!", Mila yelled, making Mick chuckle at the little girl's energy, never faltering even after a full day of playing and swimming.

"Y/N, do you want to make bracelets with me?", she said, bringing out a kit with colourful beads and threads, "sure! Come here to the table so we can organise them here", you said, allowing her to sit on top of your crisscrossed legs while you measured and placed all the beads in the bracelet like you wanted.

"Do you like to share a house with Mick?", Mila asked you, "yes, I do. Why do you ask?", you questioned, wanting to know where her curiosity came from, "Well, bec- Mick! You're back! Do you like sharing a house with Y/N?", she asked him as soon as she saw him join you again in the living room. Mick sat next to you, "I do, yes", he said sweetly, "why?", Mila asked him like she had asked you, "because I like to spend time with her, because I can make things for her when she doesn't have the time, -", he began, "like when she doesn't know where her shoes are and you give her them? Or when she needs someone to get her cough syrup?", she reasoned, probable thinking about how her parents, the people she shares a house with, are with her, "yes, all of those things", Mick chuckled, grabbing a thread so he could too make some bracelets, "There, now you, me and Y/N have matching bracelets!", Mila announced, placing a bracelet in your wrist and one in Mick's, "you both have a heart, look! Because you live together!".

After dinner, while Mick offered to tidy the rest of the kitchen while you went up to change into pyjamas, "Mick, Mick, Mick!", Mila yelled as she ran to the living room, "Look!", she pointed to herself once she was in front of him, "my pyjamas have Minnie and Mickey on them!", she said, pointing to you once you reached them, sitting next to your boyfriend, "you can be Mickey, because your name is the same, and Y/N can be Minnie!", she said before she climbed up the sofa, sitting on your lap while she looked at the TV, "we're going to see a movie?", she asked, recognising the frames on the TV, "yes. Do you like any of these?", Mick asked her a he flipped through them.

You ended up watching the 101 Dalmatians, Mila claiming it was for Angie to get to know her friend Alfred until they could meet in real life, the little girl falling asleep holding onto you like a little koala, arms around your torso with her head snuggled on your chest, "the day tired her out, hm?", Mick said in a low voice.

Chuckling, you combed her curly hair before doing the same to your boyfriend's hair, "it did, and you? She didn't take up all your batteries with her insane questions?", you smiled, forever grateful of having him in your life, and especially to see your family get along nicely with him. "She's fine with that. It's so cool to see her be curious about everything, and she's a really sweet girl too", your boyfriend said.

[ficoandleo]

For both: What do you like to do for the holidays?

"Which holidays? Like, all of them?"

"They mean Christmas and New Years."

". . .Oooh, you're some kind of. Westerner or whatever where you still think everyone in the world celebrates Christmas because you do. Wow. Okay, brace yourself, may wanna sit down for this one?" Leo pauses a bit for dramatic effect. "This is Japan. We're not a Christiancountry. We don't really celebrate Christmas here."

"He's right. It's not even a public holiday here. Nobody gets the day off unless you need it for religious reasons and winter break usually starts the day after for students. Most Japanese people don't celebrate Christmas in a major way unless they're some kind of Christian or they've got foreign family."

"Well Christmas is like a 'hang out with your friends or your lover "holiday"' so I always spend it with Sho-chan?" Of course, Leo spent most days with Sho before coming to Darkwick. Even after coming, they spend a lot of time together. "And I like doing streams for it--I've done a gift opening stream, I've made videos showing off and rating what's in the year's KFC Christmas menu with Sho-chan and our friends, I've done little walks around Christmas markets and showing off lights and displays, I'll show off whatever Christmassy food Sho-chan made if it looks like it'll trend. . . . I mostly just use it as a vaguely 'special stream' day. If people don't have friends to spend the day with, they can hang out with me and Sho--before we spend time with our friends, obviously♥

"Christmas Eve though is like a romantic day because. . .capitalism and the economy or something. It's actually cooled down in recent years but there's always stuff going on then to capitalize on couples, like really nice light displays and promotions in stores and restaurants. It's kind of like Valentine's Day for Japan. So I like to stream then too--for the singles. It's like going on a little 'date' with me. . .♥ I let the audience decide what we should check out for a while at a market or what light displays we should go see. But I've hung out with Sho-chan on Christmas Eve streams too--adds a little fuel to the 'oh my god they must be dating!!' fire and gets some buzz and rumors going~ Once the stream's done I'll do something with Sho if he wants--like we'll take advantage of couples gifts and promotions and stuff in shops or walk around and see if there're any cool decorations and displays to look at and take pics or whatever. We don't do a ton because restaurants are usually booked or super busy and Sho wants to cook for the impending Christmas party with our friends anyways, and he makes a ton of food so he gets started the day before when he can.

"After that I basically don't eat until like New Years because I had way too much food even when I'm not eating that much of it and I have to make up for it. But then it's New Years and I go see my parents--or, they came over last year--and we spend time together doing whatever they want. They still like to give me otoshidama even though I'm a grown man, but some of my fans do it too, digitally, so whatever. Aside from that we watch the first sunset and we do a shrine visit to get our fortunes and make wishes--trad stuff. But sometimes they wanna do stuff we didn't really get to do when I was young--so we'll fly kites or play games or just whatever they're in the mood for during the four day new years period.

"I don't normally stream at all with them, but they said they'd like to be on stream with me at least once so. . .maybe if I can't do anything cool for Christmas this year since Darkwick's shaping out to not have much to see, I can get a permit and do a New Years stream with them. It won't get many views but people might go for it since I don't really talk a ton about my family on stream? I might save it for after graduation."

". . .since coming to Japan the traditions are very different. Like Kurossa said, Christmas Eve is a sort of romance-focused day, so. . .ugh." Romeo scowls, glaring off to the side for a moment. Finally, he decided to open up, closing his eyes, pale cheeks dusting with pink. "The Boss doesn't really go for things like that. Highly romantic displays. But he would do things for me anyway, even after we got to Darkwick. We would go out, or he would give me gifts with more. Amorous intentions. And I enjoyed that, even if it wasn't traditional for me. . .I'm not expecting anything to happen this year, though. Christmas was more lowkey but he still let me enjoy Japanese Christmas traditions despite not being very interested in anything but food and presents anyway.

"Back home in Italy we had an elaborate nativity scene we would put together on the 8th--probably my favorite part of the Christmas season aside from gifts. It had moving mechanisms, even pumps for water for a moving river, and it wasn't just the manger in the barn, but essentially a whole town surrounding! We put up a tree too, of course, but that was far less interesting!! We would visit Christmas markets and so on too, and on Christmas Eve we would have fish for dinner--an old Catholic tradition where you abstain from meat for that day--and gifts were exchanged, and then we'd go to midnight Mass, of course. On Christmas we ate meat. They always made sure I ate far more than I ever wanted to. . . . The entire atmosphere is very different from Japan's, aside from the abundant decorations and lights. . . .

"New Years is even more different. Still he indulged me with things like shrine visits and fortunes, despite being able to guess what my fortune would say. Let me experience Japan's most important holiday. We even bought kimono for it. It's quite a bit. . .fancier, or maybe more solemn than Italian celebrations of the new year, where we have fireworks and parties in the streets. Ah, I still wear red underwear though."

"Yeah? Does your fancy, special new years underwear stay on your ass by the time the new year rolls around?"

". . .he keeps it on as long as he can bear it, and we've always made it to midnight before they end up somewhere else or ripped apart."

"Wow, proud of him!"

"Of course, since coming to Darkwick things are a little different. If we're still in probation I'm sure they'll have some sort of fortune slip giving and shrine set up in Hotarubi like they did last year, and I'll still go for my New Years Wish. I suppose watching the first sunrise from the deck of the ship will be nice too. We'd have a Christmas party with the rest of Sinostra, or drop by other Houses to see our friends. We'll exchange gifts. . .but the way I've been spending Christmas since I got here was trying to catch that fucking Reindeer. . . ."

"Oh yeah, you did mention there's some kind of rein--"

"The present-giving Reindeer! I'm going to catch it this year!! This will probably be my last chance, so it has to be this year!! Of course it manipulates time, so I always still have time for the party itself even after failing to catch it the previous years. . .but this year, I have to catch it. . . ."

"You're so fucking loud sometimes, I swear. . . . Anyways I think that covers everything? TL;DR: I stream and hang out with my friends on Christmas and spend time with my fam on New Years, and Romi-sama has a party and tries to catch some Christmas anomaly on Christmas, and then just does Japanese traditional stuff on New Years with Tai since he's here."

[hannieehaee]

LOST IN STEREO - teaser

18+ / mdi

summary: after kicking you out of your own band to seek success with the band on his own, vernon finds his plans falling through, all the while you'd reached success on your own. now leading your own label, vernon finds himself having to earn your forgiveness, not realizing how badly he'd hurt you years back.

content: friends2enemies2lovers!vernon, band!au, drummer!vernon, guitarist!reader, unrequited crush (kinda), pining, vernon kicks you out of your band bc ur a girl (asshole, ik), really incorrect music industry terminology (i know nothing about music oops), afab reader, reader becomes a producer after being kicked from vernon's band, seokmin, chan, hannie and kwannie are in the band, smut, penetrative sex, dry humping, fingering, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 433 (teaser); 8.8k (full fic)

release date: june 3rd

or you can check it out on my ko-fi or patreon today by subscribing to either one!

a/n: i know the summary and content are all over the place, but i promise the story in itself is coherent</3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

"Fuck! Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?"

He winced at the sudden sight of you upon turning a corner in the huge building he was currently exploring, never having expected to bump into you there.

"I work here, Vernon. I would've expected you to do some research on the labels you're auditioning for."

"W-wait. What do you mean you work here?"

"I'm a producer here. What? Surprised?"

"N-no!" he spluttered.

Fuck, you looked good. No, scratch that. You looked beautiful beyond belief.

How long had it been? Three? Four years?

He still felt horribly about it. You know, that whole situation in which he threw you under the bus for his own benefit; only for everything to come crashing down on him immediately after. Not only did he feel like an asshole, but also like a huge idiot. Letting go of a friendship just for a failed attempt at success would go down as the dumbest thing Vernon ever engaged in.

In his defense, he was a teenager at the time. Okay, maybe he was freshly 19, but it felt like the same thing back then. He had been an idiot who dumped his best friend and crush just for a chance in the music industry. What he had thought that to be the smartest move to make for the future of your shared band, ended up becoming his greatest mistake. To this day, he still thought back on it with shame.

What sucked the most was how talented he knew you were. That, and the knowledge that he bad been the sole person to blame for taking this opportunity away from you – from taking your own band away from you.

He quickly came to realize that it had been a horrible mistake, but it was too late by then. Contractually speaking, you had never really existed within the group. Your friendship had also crumbled soon after, despite your reassurance that all you wanted was the best for the band, even if that meant they'd continue on without you.

At the time, you had been the band's sole music producer, and song writer, and engineer, and you were the one who had a macbook with garage band on it, and–

"Vernon!"

Fuck. Had he been in his head this whole time?

You looked annoyed. Also way more grown and mature than when he last saw you at 19 years old. Fuck, did he mention you looked insanely hot?

"Sorry, I, uh, as I was saying," he cleared his throat, "Of course I'm not surprised. You're the most talented person I've ever known."

...

a/n: lol sorry for how abrupt the teaser is, i wasn't sure how to cut it</3

you can check it out today on my ko-fi or patreon by subscribing to either one!

[sagesilentfire]

Hello, everyone. It's so strange to be saying this, but the last part of SAMATFOE is imminent, and we're getting closer and closer to the End. It's been a really fun five years. (Four to ya'll, but I've been working on this for longer than I've been talking about it publicly!) The cast of characters has expanded dramatically, I've gotten much better as a writer and artist, and I feel I've grown as a person too. I won't stop stalking the svtfoe tag or talking about svtfoe after this is done, don't worry, but I have a lot of non-svtfoe related plans in the future, so if you like Sílthéy and her weird siblings, don't stop following when SAMATFOE is over. 

But as for the actual contents of s5, well, I've got lots of plans. We've got a dark magic plague that's an incredibly transparent metaphor for climate change. We've got Mina playing the oil barons and trying to stop everyone from saving the world for her own personal gain. We've got Glossaryck (capitalism). We've even got the answers to a lot of mysteries and character arcs. Like, so many character arcs. It has been incredibly difficult to stuff all these character arcs into this far-too-short piece of fanfiction. But I hope I did that adequately. 

On a personal note, while hiring a beta/sensitivity reader for a piece as massive as SAMATFOE proved impossible for someone who does not own their own money, I have done a lot more research than I had at seventeen. I wanted the monsters to be more than just badly-done allegories for Native Americans – I wanted them to be people with their own culture, history, and ideas. People who are inspired by real-world Indigenous cultures, but, because they're literally nonhuman, are distinct from them. Whether or not they could count as Indigenous is discussed in-text, but I do not come to an actual conclusion because I want my readers to draw their own. It's not my place to say whether colonized space aliens could be Indigenous. And their connection to the land and to magic is drawn from their shared knowledge, not mysticism, and their culture is idealized because a caring godlike entity helped them to that, not because they're better than anyone. I hope to demonstrate that they are all people, first and foremost. Because we're going to be spending time in Septarsis! So much time! And Toffee has officially been promoted to main character status! It's Star and Marcie AND the Forces of Evil, babey!

But there's a lot of characters here. So, for the second and final time, 

Dramatis Personae:

Star - Star doesn't know what to do. She has everything she ever wanted, even if she doesn't realize it. She has no future responsibilities, having passed that to Eclipsa, but she is still special and important, being the most powerful magic-user ever to exist and the only one who can fix the dark magic, and Toffee doesn't even seem to hate her. Sílthéy does, though, and that is a sticking point. Star is much less oblivious now, though even her oblivious former self would probably pick up on the bad vibes Sílthéy is actively sending her way. She wants everyone to see how hard she's working to make everything better, but Sílthéy doesn't, and that is unbearable. Add that to Shinjai avoiding her and Marcie growing distant, and she has very little time for introspection, even if that would help fix things.

Marcie - Marcie is done with Mewni. She can't believe she believed the Butterflys' lies for so long. She's going to devote herself to Septarsis as fervently as she did Mewni. She just... she doesn't want to bother anyone, or take anyone's time. Why should she get attention paid to her, when there are stronger and smarter magic users out there who could do so much to actually help the world? Marcie is small and useless, and clearly so easily tricked. Better to work on herself before she brings anyone else into her orbit. Also, Star keeps making bad decisions, and Marcie's boundaries are pushing her away too... maybe it's better to do everything alone.

Ludo - Ludo is having a great time! He's earned the trust of some of the monsters in the Avarius village, his plumbing has been fixed, and Pemma is teaching him how to use the Avarius Beacon! Certainly nothing bad is going to happen to him or anyone he cares about! :D

Buff Frog - I'll confess here: Buff Frog is not a huge part of s5. He'll appear in the finale, but he's not a fighter anymore, and lives a peaceful life in Septarsis. He still has fond feelings for Star, but he's not too worried about her. She's strong, and he has twelve young froglets to take care of. She'll be fine on her own... right?

Toffee - Una'met Co'tzin-Nekohtzaca, Last Child of Old Septarsis, The Forces of Evil, Kéta'cha For the Dragon of Space, is doing FINE. They're definitely not five bad seconds away from a total mental breakdown, definitely not, that would be bad for everyone involved, and they are a calm, peaceful, certified not-doing-bad-things-er. The fact that everyone is almost certainly going to die a horrible death from dark magic is fine. They just have to cram thirty-plus years of training into the rapidly-dwindling time before the entire multiverse is dead. They barely know Star Butterfly, except that she's too good for things like "basic training" and "reading." How are they going to do this? And why won't Sílthéy tell them why she caused this in the first place? Well, they do know one thing, which is they can't tell Star about that.

Jackie - Jackie is done with Star Butterfly. She's talked to... someone, and done some digging, and that only served to verify the book she was given in s4. She doesn't know anything about Mewni save for what the book told her, but she can't believe that she trusted the family that doomed her dimension.

Janna - Janna doesn't like this apocalypse. No chance of survival is boring. So she's going to do what she can to help out. Also, she's been keeping her own secrets, secrets that might hold the key to survival.

Tom - Tom isn't angry anymore. He's not angry at Eclipsa for keeping Miquiz locked up, he's not angry for the Butterflys for spreading the dark magic that's thrown the Underworld into chaos, he's not angry that he keeps being left out of things. He's. Not. Angry. Anymore!

Moon - Moon didn't kill her mother. She didn't. It was Toffee, Toffee who couldn't come up with some loophole, Toffee who couldn't forget a conversation that happened when they were a child, Toffee who aimed the arrow at Comet's chest. And her holding onto anger isn't what's driving Star away from her, it's Toffee. They're the one driving her daughter away from her! But as cold reality and remaining dark secrets loom behind her, her brittle facade is beginning to crumble.

Glossaryck - Glossaryck misses when he and Star got along. Yeah, he's destroying her dimension, and everyone in it, and her, all to win kudos from his family, but it really sucks that Star won't give him the time of day anymore. He used to be her wise old mentor! Geez, she was going to die anyways, that's what mortals do! Might as well get along before it happens!

River - River is tired of being left out of the loop. He doesn't know what's going on. He doesn't know what to do. Moon barely speaks to him, she's always busy with Eclipsa, or whatever. But he might be the thing Moon needs, if she would only let him in.

Angie - Angie doesn't know if she should have had Mariposa. Sure, Mari is wonderful, and she loves her, and she DID NOT have a baby to replace Marcie dear god why were the svtfoe writers like that – *ahem* but the multiverse is ending, and Mariposa is just a baby... she didn't want to bring a baby into this world just to have them all die.

Rafael - Rafael is worried about Star. He's worried there's nothing he and Angie can do to help her. He's worried about Marcie. She seems really stressed about the dark magic. But he's the calm, goofy dad, so he's going to keep being that, and praying it'll help somehow. 

Mariposa - Mariposa is fresh to the world, and doesn't understand much of anything yet. But everyone is worried she won't survive long enough to understand the world at all.

Kelly - Kelly is chilling. Apparently Star and Marcie are off on a trip to Septarsis, but that's none of her business as long as art classes and hangouts with Nova and Jorby go well. She might drop by to visit, though.

Miss Heinous - Saint Olga is dead. Miss Heinous's one reason for existing, her greatest love and greatest enemy, the robot who raised her, is dead. What does Miss Heinous do now?

Meteora - Meteora's doing great. She's won popular opinion, she's training to be a true Crown Princess, or at least a high-ranking official, if Sílthéy's democracy takes off. She's stepped into her role as a leader, far more than her mother could claim. But that's fine. Not everyone is suited for leadership.

Eclipsa - Eclipsa has an albatross around her neck. She is doing her best to ignore it, to be a good queen, to love her people, but... she cannot get away from the child she killed. Would it be easier if she was just always evil, not done one evil act out of rage and grief? Well, she knows what happened to her mother. What does she do now?

Globgor - Globgor is doing his best. He's a little miffed by Sílthéy mistrusting him, as her first big act of s5 will be to demonstrate how little he's valued as a Legitimate Voice of the Monsters, but really, who can complain. There's so much else going on, who cares if he fades into the background?

Shinjai - Shinjai gets the wand. Shinjai does not want the wand, and the circumstances surrounding her getting the wand are ridiculous, but she gets it, and she hates it, and she can't control it. Unlike Star, her inability to control the wand makes her not want to use the wand at all lest she hurt someone with it. Oh, and Star keeps wanting to teach her fun spells now that she's been handed this nuclear bomb of a magic wand, and Shinjai does not want to deal with Star. She hasn't forgiven Star. She doesn't want to forgive Star. She'll ignore Star as much as she can, and focus instead on Alice and the teen militia, which is much more fun. She loves Alice. She loves learning to fight, learning to battle the most dangerous people in the multiverse and win WITHOUT the help of a wand. She'd be doing great, if her past would stop knocking at her door.

Rasticore - Rasticore's worried about his partner. Una is fraying at the seams trying to fix everything, and he has the feeling they're not telling him something. But what else is new? He'll wait. He has friends to make, a new teenage militia to help train, and a Miss Heinous to keep from destroying Septarsis stone by stone. He's endlessly patient. When Una wants to talk to him, he'll be there for them. He just... has... to... wait...

Mina - Mina is trying to destroy the world. She doesn't tell her followers that, no, they don't even know the dark magic is a thing, but she wants Glossaryck to win and the Solarian Age, of which she is the last remnant, to end everything with it. So she'll destroy the world, and fulfill Solaria's dream of taking the Forces of Evil with her.

Lilacia - Lilacia is, somehow, a spoiler. Like, legitimately, the Princess Formerly Known as Ponyhead's role in s5 is a spoiler, and not for magic power-up speech cliché reasons. But she's still her dumb, ditzy self, of course.

Still Unnamed Mystery Character - "Stella" is still mysterious, but I promise you we'll get who she is and her backstory in this part ;)

Alice - Alice is wary of the new Mewman presence on the outskirts of Septarsis. She knows why they're there, but she's still extremely suspicious. She does not want them to hurt Septarsis. But she doesn't know that the true danger comes a little closer to home.

Teyauh - Teyauh is also a spoiler, but she'll be there!

Linda - Linda loves her wife, and will follow her anywhere, but Teyauh will have to accept that her knees don't work how they used to, so Linda will have to follow in a suit of POWER ARMOR, BABY!

Nova - Nova is part of the Nuxalkmc, an Indigenous tribe native to the Northwestern Turtle Island, and she loves that about herself. Now that Kelly and her dimensional scissors are here, she can finally explore the multiverse to find new places and see if they're anything like home. Septarsis is one of those places, and she loves it at first sight.

Dr. Edevane - Dr. Edevane is a doctor. He and Toffee have a lot to nerd out talk about together. He will be useful, too.

Dennis - Dennis is busy reigning in dozens of siblings, including Ludo. It's a busy life, but a happy one. Nothing bad whatsoever will happen to him! (I'm lying)

Chloe - Chloe doesn't know this "Star Butterfly" person, but she's very suspicious. But man, Mewni would be such a cool place to visit... so much magic! ...No, she needs to concentrate on being mad. And she is mad. She wants Earth to be like Mewni, like it deserves to be.

Hekapoo - Hekapoo doesn't like her dad's plan. He says it'll work out, it's fine, but the plan is... questionable. She doesn't like it. And she definitely isn't getting conflicting feelings about puppeteering her brother around, either...

Rhombulus - Ṯ̶̡̧̧̡̧̠͉̻̦̜̭͚̰̪̣̬̠̦̲̹̯̯̮̹̰̺̣̳̬̳̬͙̙̞̹͚͖̼̲̰̼̻̭͇̘̻̹͔̝͌͐̀̇̓̀́̄̇̓̊̚ͅH̶̛̠̽̎̇̽̉̃̔͒̽̈́͌͝Ȩ̸̢̧̛̛͔̭͍̪͈͚̮̘͙̭̳͍̺͖̗͇͍̘̱̉̽͑̆̌̓̆͛̓̌̈́̐̾͑̅͂͗̔̽̌̋̈́̎̈́́̓̓͌̆̄͐̀̋̅͂̒̓̔͗̈͊̊͆̄̒͘͘̚͘͝͝͠͠͠͠ͅ ̷̧̪̰͈̺̯̳̙̳̹̙̣͔̗̜̫̗̲̠̙̝̠̯̻̯̩͈͇͉̞̙͙͈̲̻̹̰̳̣̤̣̀́̐͆͜͜͜ͅͅK̵̨͎̙̩͓̘͇̳̩̲��̳̼̖̯̘͖̹͙̪̰͙͔̤̭̘͖̖̪̬͓͚̫̦̝̠͍̙̊͛̏̈́͛́̒̈́͂͜͜͜͝ͅÍ̸̡̧̨̨̥͍̮̮͇̟͈͙̩̥͙̥͖͚͉̬̟̻̹̰̟̘͓̪̦̹͈̺̤̜̣̺͉̘͕̮̲͓̳͍͈͍̜̯̯̘̪͙̩͛́̐̆̈́͗͋̔̐̒̌̚͜ͅT̵̨̟̲̑̅̑̕̚T̶̨̨̨̛̞͖̻̖̞̹̜͉̦͓̣̠̗̘̣̺̲̹̘̻͎̤̝̤̜̞̜̳̭͎̲͙̮͓͕̼͇̘̃̈́̑̅͐̆͛͊̎̀̈́̔̐̂͛͒̎̕͜͜Ę̴̟̻͍͓̲̙͙̬̺̖̘͎̺̯͐̍̀͊̊̃̃̐̒̊̽̅̉̒̇̎̒͗͆̓͋͂̍̎̈̓́́͌̈͌̕͘̕̕͜͝͝͠͝͝Ņ̷̡̥͕̞̘͙͇̪̺̯͕̪͖̗̙͖̭̻̳͙͖̯̺̟̳̟̪̼̤̞̘̯̘̥̏́̊̾̓̀͐̑̈́͛͊͜͝͝͝S̸̨̨̨̡̤͕͚͈̻̯̫̯̦̖̣͈͔͉͚̠̪̮͚̳͈͇̯̱̯̙̙̬͎̝̪̬̦̙͇̝̲̤̰̃͒̓͒̾̀̋̎̊̈̀́̐̎̇͜͝ͅ ̵̧̧̛̣͉͕̤̻͔̰̜̺̮̘̞̠͓͚̹̗͒͐̽́̆̈́́̏̀̎̋͌̔́̌͗̎̍̉̀̃͌͂̎̽̿̃͂̎̽̌̈́̄́̀́̓̿̅́̎͆̾̆͑͌̔̿̑́́̕̕̕͝͝͝M̸̢̡̨̭͓̘͙̟̩̦͎̤̟̮̤͍͔̝̑̀̅̊̑̊́̂̈͑̽͋̃̑͋͐̆͆͊̈́́̋͑̋͜͝I̸̡̛̖̺͇͎͕̗̹̦̦̻̻̙͈͔̮̭̤̺͚͙͙͖̱̙͚̣̼̠̺̘̐̄͋͒̒͗̎̓͐͗͛̊̀̓̄̅̆̇̐͒̄̌̔͗̒̎̃̒̊̍̋͐̊͛͘͠͝͝͠S̴̨̡̡̨̲̖̺̭̺̱̰͎͓͇̰̙͙̩̯̺̖̲̥̜͖̦̙̹̜̻͙̠͉͇̲̲͍̞͚̭̯͕͋͐̌̾̈́̄͐̇̔͜͝͝Ş̴̢̨̢̝̬̤̯̗̞̳̟̞̲̠̮͇̻͙͖̻̜̺̘̑̑̆̈́̇͋͗͒͒́̅́́̚̕͝ ̷̨̡̡̛̛͚̩̣̠̠̹̘̟̼̘̤͇͖͓̙̺̙̮͚̫̺͖̠͇͙̏̆̋̆̀̅̓̔͋̐̐͛̃̾̃̿̓́̑̇̏̈̉͊̂̍̾͑̐̈́̀̑͑̈́̏͗̇͋̀̆́̍̊̃̀͐͘̚̚͝͝͝͠͝ͅͅḨ̶̨̧̻̺̟͚̠͍̗͙̗̹͇̗̦͔͕̮̦͖͔̝͚̟̖̖͉̾̔͒̓̋̀̔̅̿̈̑͆̀̇̇̄̈́́͋̿͐͆̔̂̈́͋̈́̊̊̈́̓̈́͋̕͘͝͝͝I̷̡̡̢̨̹͎̼̻̖̗̭̫̩̣̬̻̦̠̗̰̥͕̗̟̯̰͉͙̯͖̦͚̟̖̞͍̦̙̯̲̲̖̲̲̜͚̓̍͜ͅM̶̧̡̢̧̧̙̥̭̲̖̦͙̘̙͈͓͖̩̜̦͍̦̘͍̘͕̳̜̱͚̥̹͓͕͉͔͕̫̺̮͕̳͖͉̭̺͙̠͖̥͕͖͙̜̉͑͛̎̓̈́͐͋̐̀̏̊̀̽͋̈́͊̄͌̋̌̐̓̄̉̓͒̕̕͝͠͠͝ͅͅͅ

Reynaldo - Reynaldo looks and looks and he does and does, but he does not win this bet. It is the thing he wants most, that he will do all sorts of terrible, horrible-things-that-make-him-want-to-throw-up to get. What is it? 

Omnitraxus Prime - Omni will do anything to protect the multiverse. Including trusting zir dad, who is looking more untrustworthy by the day, and trusting Mina, who was never trustworthy in the first place. Mina has much more training than Star, and strong magical ability from spending three hundred years close to the wand, and it's the best option... right?

Necahua - Necahua is a mess currently, and being a mess leaves you more open to mistakes. Uh oh! Una still loves them, though. 

In fact, I made a short story in my creative writing class about the relationships between Una'met, Necahua, and Cayeto, since I feel they got overlooked in the main story. Yes, no one in my class had any idea what was going on. I'll post it next, before chapters 1 and 2 of s5.

Cayeto - Cayeto is also in the short story. He doesn't play a huge role in the main plot, but he is just another reason Toffee does the things they do. He died hoping that Una and Necahua, specifically, survived, and Necahua died, so he does not have the best grip on reality.

Xocochiapal - Xoco is the de-facto ghost leader of the ghosts now. No legislation without representation, right? Toffee does most of the work, but she's in charge when they can't address a thing right away. She was right despite everyone else blindly going to their deaths, and now everyone knows it. She also was the highest-ranked Septarian to become a ghost, and her hatred of the Mewman occupation is a clear and strong motivation.

Tecoloa - Tecoloa is the voice of reason. The good one. She died protecting her elementary school class from the worst of the heat, and that caring nature has translated into protecting everyone she can. 

Sílthéy - Sílthéy is a character now, and OH BOY is she happy about it. She hates Star and will never get over it, and she loves to remind Star of that fact. She feels immense guilt for what happened with Septarsis, and will never get over that, either. She is a mess, but she's been hiding her messiness for 0/0 years, so she's a pro. And it's not like anyone here can stop her from being a mess, can they? So she'll go on being a mess in her corner, and she'll be fine. Her hobbies include storytelling, dissing Star, and doing the most bizarre stuff in the background of any given scene. She owns her weirdness. She's annoying, but that just makes her more fun to write.

Mocel - Mocel is mad at Eclipsa. She's mad at all Mewmans, really. She cares a lot about Miquiz, and she hates that he's locked up while she, with her lightweight ash body, can sneak out whenever she likes. The world isn't fair, and she knows it.

Miquiz - Miquiz is dying a second time. The dark magic wound on his chest is expanding. He doesn't want to leave, not without seeing the sun again, but he may not have a choice. He doesn't want to leave without saying something to Eclipsa, but again, no choice. He doesn't know what to do.

Tecolo - Tecolo is just vibin. He wants to see Ludo again, and he will, but he's mostly busy having fun with his dead and living relatives after centuries floating in the void.

[luckydicekirby]

would love any director's commentary you may have on The Only True Thing if slightly older fics are on the table here bc lowkey it changed my brain chemistry forever. I read it on a whim like four years ago at 1 in the morning and ever since then I've been hooked on making all my fav pairings miserable for no reason. this sounds like sarcasm but I'm being completely sincere the schadenfreude is exquisite

okay first of all I’m SO glad to hear this because making your favs miserable is I think one of the most rewarding activities on this earth so I’m really glad I could help share that joy. thanks also to sylvain for just making it so easy. anyway, here’s some assorted thoughts, hopefully some of which are edifying!

(the only true thing for reference for anyone playing along at home.)

this fic affectionately named the darkling au due to this tweet which I feel like I should put in a hall of fame someday. anyway this entire thread showcases the origin of this fic which was me catie and lily bullying each other on twitter about sylvix, a pastime left behind in 2019 which i really miss.

the thing that really first made me Crazy Cuckoo about sylvain is his B support with Byleth--I'm obsessed with that moment where he very coldly threatens to kill you and then laughs it off, and that was pretty much the jumping off point for Sylvain's characterization in this au--what if he was like that all the time? answer: it would be bad, but also pretty sexy!

One thing I miss about writing for fe3h is the hero’s relics were sooo nice as like. shortcut symbolism. the lance of ruin comes preloaded for you! It’s familial cycles of violence! Easy! and there's a mechanic for it breaking ALSO preloaded into the game mechanics! I wrote like three versions of the ending and the lance getting busted moved around a bit--it originally happened a little earlier.

For a while when I was still femblempilled I was idly thinking about two sequels to this—a sylvain pov sequel about the war, which would have been fun but also Yikes, and then epistolary dorothea/ingrid ideological divorce fic. sorry to dorothea and ingrid who really get the short end of the stick in this universe.

oh there's a playlist. I can’t claim to have put a ton of thought into it it’s just all my fav bad ya boyfriend songs <3 actually dead girl walking reprise is like. yeah that's the fic.

ANYWAY. I feel like a lot of my commentary on this has been washed away by the sea (the passage of time) so a few extras. I apparently wrote like 400 words of sylvain POV of the training yard scene also? Last edited September 26th 2019, here you go:

Felix has always been smaller him, ever since they were kids. Still is these days, to Sylvain’s delight. He wondered about it plenty, these past two years--maybe Felix had a growth spurt. Maybe he caught up to Dimitri. Maybe Sylvain would meet him at the monastery and they’d see eye to eye. Of course they don’t. Felix is a head shorter than him, and he’ll never see things the way Sylvain does. Still. Sylvain thought about it. He’s had a lot of time to think about Felix since the last time he saw him, since Felix ran away. Still a crybaby at heart, no matter how sure he was he’d grown out of it. Not much has changed, Sylvain figures. Felix might have everyone else fooled with that delightfully sharp-edged exterior of his--a pretty decent feint, Sylvian should know--but Felix can’t hide from him. Sylvain sees him down to the bone. The two of them are a matched set: liars at heart.  Like right now. Felix is trying so hard not to cry, his back to the wall of the training yard, his grip tight around the wood of his training sword like he’s actually going to use it. Sylvain hopes he will. He hasn’t gotten to see Felix fight yet, really fight. He bets he’s gotten better. He bets he’s elegant and controlled—maybe less so with Sylvain, and wouldn’t that be nice? That’s how it goes sometimes, when Sylvain dreams about their last day together. Felix’s sword at his throat, biting and cold, ending all this before it began. It would have saved everyone a lot of trouble. Sylvain wouldn’t have had to spend such an awfully long time missing him.  He bets Felix could make him hurt. Nothing seems to do that anymore, except for thoughts of Felix, the ones he can never stop worrying at like a bruise.  Sylvain doesn’t want much these days, and maybe that’s why it’s so hard: he wants Felix in a way that aches, delirious and unstoppable. It doesn’t matter so much how. Felix is welcome to cut him open or kiss him quiet or anything in between. As long as he never stops looking at Sylvain like he is now, hateful and just on the edge of tears, so clearly focused on nothing else. As long as Sylvain can have that, the rest doesn’t matter.  That’s love, Sylvain figures; the cheerful facade he gives the girls is nothing. He forgets about a new one every week. But Felix? He’ll be dead someday, and Felix will still have a grip on his heart, as tight as he’s holding his sword and just as dangerous.

and what exists of the sylvain POV sequel I never wrote:

Felix looks like shit. Of course he’s also beautiful. He’s radiant, for all that his hair’s a mess and his face is drawn and he’s got the kind of dark circles that only come from weeks and weeks of exhaustion. He’s Felix, right? He can’t be anything else. “You look like shit,” Sylvain tells him, because honesty is what Felix thinks he wants from him. He hasn’t seen Felix in six moons, but that probably hasn’t changed. “What are you doing here?” Felix asks. His horse stamps her feet and shakes her head, moving uneasily under him. Felix has never been a good rider. It’s clear he doesn’t appreciate his mare, and she doesn’t appreciate him. Sylvain wonders how long Felix has been making his way across Faerghus like this. He wonders if he stole the horse. It’s awful not to know. “Looking for you,” Sylvain says. “They say you’re searching for the king.” Felix never could stop himself from chasing ghosts. Sylvain hates that about him. It’s just as unfair as everything else: it’s the only reason Sylvain is still here, after all.  “I am. And you should be defending Gautier territory.” “Got a message from your father,” Sylvain lies. He slides off his horse, patting her flank. Felix, clumsily, does the same. “He wants you to come home.” That part’s probably true.  Felix scoffs. “My old man can send all the messages he wants. I’m going to find the boar.” He means it. Sylvain can see that he means it, in the flinty look in his eyes, the fold of his arms, the jut of his chin as he looks up at Sylvain. It’s the saddest thing Sylvain’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of shit. “Felix,” he says. He reaches out. He can never help it, not when Felix is like this, not when he believes. Felix doesn’t flinch from Sylvain’s hand on his cheek anymore. “Sweetheart. You know he’s dead.” “Don’t call me that,” Felix says. But when he swings himself back in the saddle and Sylvain does the same, he doesn’t tell Sylvain not to follow. That’s more than good enough. 

[sahnejungsliebhaber]

„In den letzten zwei Jahren bin ich nur um jeweils zwei Zentimeter gewachsen aber habe jeweils 10 Kilo zugenommen. Meine Mutter meint, vielleicht sammelt mein Körper nur Kraft an. Ich sei ja mit einseinundsiebzig ja noch recht klein. Mit elf-zwölf Jahren sei das auch so gewesen und dann sei ich innerhalb von anderthalb Jahren 34cm in die Höhe geschossen. Da ich jetzt schon 81 Kilo wiege, vielleicht werde ich dann zwei Meter groß?“

"In the last two years, I've only grown four centimetres, but I've put on 20 kilos. My mother thinks maybe my body is just building up strength. After all, I'm still quite small at seventy-one. It was the same when I was eleven or twelve and then I shot up 34 cm within a year and a half. Now that I weigh 81 kilos, maybe I'll be two meters tall?"

[imaginexwwe]

SPRING BREAK 4 - Roman Reigns

•

NO TIME SKIP THIS TIME LOL

•

REAL NAMES WILL BE USED

•

4½ MONTHS PREGNANT Y|N FEELS IT'S TIME TO COME CLEAN NOW THAT SHE KNOWS JOE ISN'T JUST AN AVERAGE JOE (🤣)

•

PART 3 (×)

•

I sighed looking at myself in the mirror, slowly running my hand down my now noticeable baby bump.

I was now in my second trimester of this pregnancy and just when I thought me getting knocked up by a man I'd only known a few hours before, was as bad as this train wreck would get, I was wrong.

Really wrong.

Because turns out, Joe as I'd only known him these few months is actually Joseph Anoaʻi.

Or Roman Reigns, as he goes by in WWE.

The WWE company in which my older brother Colby works for.

"Things are just getting worse and worse." I mumbled as I made my way to my closet, searching for something to wear on my outing with Austin.

And I say outing because I honestly don't know what else to call it.

I mean, it's definitely not a date for me.

I hope it's not a date to Austin...

"Do you think this is a date?" I asked, picking out a short, loose fitting dress.

My bump shouldn't show too much through this, I thought as I began stripping out of my pajamas, sliding my dress on soon after.

"Tori." I called out, trying to get my bestfriends attention, while also wondering why I couldn't see her on the screen anymore. "Tori."

"Oh, sorry." Tori finally replied a huge grin on her face. "I fell down the Roman Reigns rabbit hole." She explained. "Again."

I rolled my eyes, picking up my macbook and going to my bed to sit. "Of course you did." I mumbled.

I couldn't blame her though.

All I did last night, till at least 2 a.m. was watch old matches of my baby daddy.

Then when I finally drifted off the sleep he was on my mind so much that I ended up having a dream that still makes me blush, just thinking about it.

If only it was reality.

It was just something so sexy about him bulling his cousins and other wrestlers.

Even his old matches with my brother and their friend Jon we're awesome to watch.

Tori laughed, holding up a finger. "This is gonna be you and Joe's baby." She said, trying to hold in her laughter so she could finish what she's trying to say. "And his first word will be 'ACKNOWLEDGE ME'" She joked, laughing even louder.

I sighed, feeling my mood change in an instant. "We won't know if it's a he or she." I replied before mumbling. "And we won't know what his or her's first word would be." I reminded her. "You know I've been looking for a good family for this baby..."

Tori nodded. "Yeah, i know." She replied. "I just thought after I told you that Joe wasn't ghosting you, that you mixed up two digits in his number, that maybe..." She trailed off with a shrug. "You'd change your mind about adoption since you won't have to do it alone while trying to finish college."

"I haven't even told Joe about the baby."

"But you know I did." Tori quickly answered. "Again, not on purpose but I did tell him." She added. "What I'm trying to say, is I was excited about being an aunt. And I know you'd be a good as mommy Y|N."

A sad smile formed on my face as I once again began doubting my ability to finish my last two years of college, eventually have a career, and raise a baby.

Even if Joe was involved it'll still be damn near impossible considering he's on the road three or four nights a week, so I'm sure the last thing he wants is a baby to be responsible for.

And on top of that we're not even together.

"Can we change the subject?" I asked, unconsciously rubbing my baby bump.

Tori nodded. "So..." She said. "Why haven't you called Joe?"

I groaned. "That's not changing the subject." I quickly replied. "Besides you know I've been hanging out with Austin still."

"Yeah, but why?" Tori asked, giving me a look. "You have a mature, grown and sexy twenty-seven year old that wants you but you're wasting your time on a cheating ass, immature 20 year old. I just don't get it."

I shrugged. "Austin's changed." I said, not a hundred percent sure I believed what I had just said. "Besides, when any typical guy would've happily ran when finding out their girlfriend cheated and got knocked up, Austin didn't. He made me feel safe and promised we'd go back to normal and put this behind up after I have this baby. He's waiting for me."

"His ass cheated first." Tori mumbled, seemingly ignoring everything else I'd said. "And I noticed the word love wasn't said."

That's because I don't know if I've truly been able to love Austin since he cheated.

Or if I'd be able to any time soon.

At this rate, I'll probably love Joe before I'm able to love Austin again.

Or do I already love Joe and that's the reason I'm unable to love Austin..?

Before I could respond, the sound of the doorbell echoed throughout the house.

"Austin's here." I said, before standing up. "I gotta go." I added, closing my macbook before Tori could respond.

For a second time, the doorbell echoed, this time sounding louder as I reached the door.

"Damn, Austin." I giggled, opening the door. "I'm almost five months pregnant, give me time." I spoke again, feeling my heart stop for a second when I saw it wasn't Austin. "Joseph?"

Holy shit, I mentally screamed out to myself, as my eyes stayed locked on the man on the other side of the door.

The man who fathered this baby I'm carrying.

Face to face with him for the first time since Miami.

Did he get hotter?

"Hey." Joe said, his eyes seemingly locked on me, like mines were on him.

Or was he staring at my belly?

I shifted uncomfortable at the thought of him seeing me pregnant all of a sudden. "Colby's um..." I began, stumbling on my words. "At his wrestling school."

"I know." Joe, responded with a nod, a seriousness in his tone. "I was hoping to see you, considering you haven't called me yet."

I bit the inside of my cheek, nodding also. "I tried but I..."

"Had my number wrong." Joe finished for me, making me nod again.

"Yeah." I said, with an embarrassed laugh. "I figured you'd just got what you wanted for me and had moved on to the next girl."

A hint of hurt flashed in Joe's eyes after what I hade said. "That's the kind of guy you think I am?" He asked, causing me to immediately shake my head.

"I didn't really know what to think of you, Joe." I answered truthfully. "I had only known you for a few hours and my judgment was blinded by the many shots Tori kept persuading me to drink, then you did take me on that amazing date. But you have to understand I tried calling you a few times and obviously couldn't get in touch with you to tell you about this baby you helped make so yeah..." I rambled. "I guess deep down I couldn't believe a guy that looks like you would even entertain a girl like me. Tori yes. But me? No."

Joe chuckled. "There's no way in hell I could have feelings for Tori."

I smiled, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes. "Did you have feelings for me?"

"I do have feelings for you Y|N." He quickly responded, taking a few steps closer to me. "That's why it was driving me crazy these few months thinking that I would never hear from you again."

"You were going crazy over me?" I asked, feeling my heartbeat began to race with anticipation.

Joe, nodded silently and without control, I found myself leaning up towards Joe as he was leaning down towards me.

I let my eyes snap shut, and just as I was about to finally feel Joe's lips on mines again, for the first time in months, a car door slammed shut.

Like it really slammed shut as if someone wanted to really make their presence known.

Please don't be my brother.

Please don't be my brother.

PLEASE DON'T BE MY BROTHER.

"Babe." I heard a male voice call out to me, and I slowly opened my eyes to see Austin leaning against his car, a scowl on his face.

I'm assuming from seeing me almost kiss Joe.

Why is it any time Joe's in my presence I forget about Austin?

"Babe..?" Joe asked, his eyes flashing with an emotion I've never seen from him the few times we have been around each other.

Is that jealousy?

Ignoring Joe, I quickly made my way over to Austin flashing a smile at him, as he continued to stare at Joe as if he was mentally sizing him up.

"Shit." I mumbled, stomping my foot. "I forgot my purse." I added. "Be right back."

Quickly, I walked back to the house, making sure to grab on to Joe's arm as I made my way inside. "Look." I said. "I have to go, but if my brother comes home before I do just lie and say you came over for him and I let you in or something."

"Y|N." Joe said, an edge to his tone, and the jealousy still in his eyes. "Who is he?"

I sighed, as I went over to the couch to get my purse. "My boyfriend..." I mumbled, scared to look at Joe for the first time since I opened the door and saw him there. "I think."

"Boyfriend?" Joe questioned as if he couldn't believe what I had said. "How do you have a boyfriend when you're pregnant with my baby?"

"Because me and him have been together for years." I explained. "It's just been a bit complicated with him cheating on me and then me trying to get back at him with you." I added, mentally slapping myself after that last part left my mouth.

How could I say that when I know that's not how it was?

Austin's never on my mind when I'm with Joseph.

Joe let out a sarcastic laugh. "So, that night we were together was just some kind of revenge fuck so you'd have a way to make that dude jealous?"

Was he pissed?

He sounds pissed.

"No." I sighed, my eyes going from Joe to the door and back. "I really do have to go."

"We really need to talk Y|N." Joe replied, but I was already out the door.

Me and him could talk later.

"Okay." I said, as I reached Austin's car again. "We could go now."

Austin nodded silently, his attention still on the door, or rather who's on the other side of the door.

Even though he couldn't see Joe, it seemed that it pained Austin just by knowing he was in there.

"Austin." I called out trying to bring his attention back to me. "Something wrong?"

"No." Austin replied, his signature smile forming as he opened the passenger side door for me, closing it as soon as I got in.

As Austin made his way over to the drivers side of his car, I leaned over towards the back to drop my purse in the backseat when something caught my eye.

"That asshole."

I can't fucking believe him.

Or maybe I should considering this isn't the first time.

Austin finally got into his car, pushing the button to start the engine. "What are you craving today?" He asked, with a chuckle. "Tacos? Pizza? Both?"

"I suddenly don't have an appetite." I mumbled, my arms crossed over my chest.

"C'mon, babe." Austin said, glancing over at me. "You're pregnant." He added, chuckling again. "There's no way in hell you don't have a appetite."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, I don't."

"Okay." Austin replied, rolling his eyes also as he again pushed the button, this time turning his car engine off. "Are you hormones acting up?"

Instead of answering Austin, I decided to throw a question of my own at him. "What's these doing in your car?"

"What?"

I held up the two used condom wrappers that I had found in the backseat of his car. "Where you with that slut again? Or someone else?"

"Y|N, your tripping." Austin mumbled, shaking his head. "Those are from the last time me and you had sex." He added. "You know, when you still believed in protection."

I gasped.

How dare he?

"I didn't get pregnant because I didn't make the father use a condom." I angrily replied. "And I know you're fucking lying because the last time you and I had sex was over five months ago and I also know these wrappers weren't in your goddamn car last week." I scoffed, trying to fight back the tears that were forming in my eyes. "Was it her or someone new?"

"It was her." Austin finally answered making me laugh in disbelief.

"I can't fucking believe you would do this again after you said you wouldn't over and fucking over." I replied.

Austin scoffed. "You can't believe me?" He asked, sarcasm in his voice. "I can't believe you'd practically be making out with your baby daddy minutes before I'm supposed to pick you up but you did." He said, before adding. "Just like you let him fuck you without one, even though you ain't even know him a day. But makes sure your boyfriend of six years wore one every damn time we fucked."

In that moment I wanted nothing more than to reach over and slap Austin so hard that I left a hand print in his face, but I held myself back.

Barely.

"For the tenth time I didn't have sex with him without a condom." I groaned, reaching over in the backseat to grab my purse. "His dick is just so big that it broke the condom." I smirked, opening the passenger side door, and getting out of the car. "Something you wouldn't know about."

I didn't say it but I'm sure it was implied that me and Austin were over.

For good this time.

With tears in my eyes I stormed back up to the house, just as Joe was leaving out.

"What's wrong?" Joe questioned, immediately noticing that I was upset.

I wiped at the tears that had fallen from my eyes. "I just ended my six year relationship."

"Because of me?"

"No." I snapped, taking out the last bit of my anger for Austin on Joseph. "Not everything is about you." I added, before mumbling. "And I thought the only time you were a condescending asshole was on tv but it seems like you're one in real life too."

Joe shook his head, leaving out the house without another word or glance.

Did I just ruin what could have been between Joseph and I?

•

Later that day I eventually dragged myself out of bed, and downstairs for a middle of the night snack.

Partly because I had a sudden craving for cookies, and partly because I just couldn't get Joe out of my mind.

Especially how he looked when I called him a condescending asshole.

Which he most definitely isn't.

I know I haven't known him long enough to judge all of his qualities, but the few times I've been lucky enough to be in his presence, he's been nothing but a sweetheart.

A gentleman.

"Couldn't sleep either?" I heard a voice say, causing me to jump.

I placed my hand over my heart, trying to calm myself. "You scared me, dude." I said to Colby as I gently shut the refrigerator door, turning to see Colby sitting at the kitchen island. "And no." I answered. "Too much on my mind." I added, rambling in the cabinet for a baking sheet.

"Are you really about to bake cookies at one in the morning?" Colby asked with a laugh, as I began scooping cookie dough from the container and placing it onto the baking sheet.

"Yeah, I got a craving for cookies." I giggled, with a shrug. "Can you be an awesome big brother and preheat the oven for me?" I asked, as I continued scooping.

"Sure."

•

About ten minutes later, both my brother and I sat at the kitchen island eating cookies.

Well I was eating cookies, and Colby was eating the only cookie I shared with him.

"You never did say what was on your mind." Colby spoke up, breaking through the silence that had taken over.

"Neither did you." I replied, picking up a cookie and taking a bite.

Colby nodded, getting up and going to the refrigerator to get a bottle of water. "You first."

"Okay." I mumbled, biting on my lip. "I broke up with Austin's pathetic ass." I started, noticing the look on Colby's face as if he expected this break up to be like the others where I'd take him back after a while. "For real this time."

"What made it for real this time?" Colby questioned and I couldn't figure out if he was mocking me or genuinely just asking.

I sighed, looking down at the few cookies left in front of me. "He cheated again." I said with a shrug. "Very recently."

"I'm going to beat his ass." Colby immediately responded, in his usual overprotective big brother fashion. "My knee's healed enough for me to curb stomp his head into the pavement."

"Colby." I gasped, trying not to laugh. "You don't have to do anything. I already gave him a piece of my mind and also I'm a thousand and one percent sure you could do prison time for that."

"I do it all the damn time." Colby smirked.

"On tv, idiot." I said, unable to hold my laughter in any longer. "If you were to do that to Austin you'd be in trouble for sure."

Colby shrugged. "It'll be worth it." He said, proudly, before coming back over to sit next to me on the stool he previously sat on. "Is the next reason you can't sleep because of your baby's father?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

I sat silently for a moment, biting my lip as I contemplated if I should reveal the father of this child's identity.

I didn't want to continue hiding it from my brother.

And I definitely didn't want him finding out from someone other than me.

"Big brother." I mumbled, glancing over at him. Promise that you won't hate me after I tell you who he is."

"Hate you?" Colby asked, raising an eyebrow at me. "I could never hate you, Y|N." He added, giving me a reassuring smile. "You're my little sister."

"Okay." I said, biting down on my lip even harder this time. "Promise me you won't hate the father."

I had a big feeling that my brother and Joe's friendship or brotherhood wouldn't be the same as it was but I didn't want my brother hating Joe.

Colby sighed. "Just say it."

"His name is Joe." I whispered, closing my eyes tightly because I was afraid to make eye contact with my brother.

"I know." Colby replied.

I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter, remembering I had already told Colby the father's name. "No." I said. "His name is Joe Anoaʻi." I whispered again, feeling tears began to roll down my face for the second time in less than twenty four hours. "As in your bestfriend, Joe."

Once again Colby sighed, repeating himself as he reached over to rub soothing circles in my back. "I know."

As tears continued to run down my face, I carefully turned on my stool to face my brother.

His face oddly calm for someone who's little sister told just told them they had a one night stand with their bestfriend literally a minute ago.

"Who told you?" I gasped. "Was it Tori and her big mouth?" I asked again, with a groan.

I love her but once she gets going there's no telling what she'd spill.

Colby shook his head. "It was Joe."

Joe told my brother about us?

And didn't tell me, he told my brother.

"And as much as I don't like it..." Colby spoke again, with a sigh. "He's a step up from Austin."

I scrunched up my nose at my older brother, really not understanding why he's so calm. "Colby," I said in a calming tone. "Did you take something?"

"Fuck no." Colby laughed, shaking his head. "I'm just okay with it, I guess." He added, before speaking again. "Joe was man enough to come to me and explain earlier today at Black and Brave and..." He shrugged again. "It's not like he purposefully went after my little sister. He didn't know anything about me and you being family before yesterday. Besides you'vegot enough to worry about with this pregnancy. You didn't need a pissed off brotherto add on to your stress."

Okay who is this man next to me?

It's not like I wanted Colby to be so worked up over my situation with Joe, but still...

I didn't expect him to be so calm

And most importantly, why didn't Joe tell me he talked to my brother when he was here earlier.

"But when me and him step back into the ring against one another." Colby said, speaking again, before I could. "I'm beating his ass for what he did with my little sister."

I smiled a bit, before letting out a sigh. "Thank you so much for being oddly understanding." I replied, sliding off my stool, to go over and give my brother a kiss on his cheek. "You're the best brother I've got."

"I'm the only brother you've got." Colby quickly responded, laughing yet again.

•

LAST ONE... THIS WEEK 😅

•

PART 5

•

T A G S -

@southerngirl41 @alyyaanna