#Maybe I wrote a little too much
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*Fitz shuffled awkwardly and smoothed his hair back as he waited for more familiar people to filter into the large hall meant to accommodate multiple elven families with Prodigies at Foxfire. It was meant to be a more formal dinner anyway, and obviously, the Vackers had wanted to attend.*
*So Fitz had put on some of his best formal wear; a specifically tailored navy blue jerkin with handmade patterns in gold on the front and sleek gray pants that made the color transition from navy blue to the dark brown of his boots much easier.*
*His parents were more than likely conversing somewhere with some people that had questions for them, whether among his father's work colleagues or his mother's personal friends and their spouses. Fitz was waiting on friends of his own to show up. Specifically one, maybe not just-a-friend sort of friend too..*
@dex-the-smart-one
#kotlc rp#kotlc#kotlc fitz#keeper of the lost cities#kotlc detz#sets#Maybe I wrote a little too much#Oh well
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*gestures helplessly* i. don't even know
i hope you like it?
TAKE A LONG LINE
Summary:
Steve knows that Tony Stark is going to be a problem from the first line in his file.
Designation: Alpha
#progress report#no progress report bc i was really convinced at any moment i would come to my sense#yes i wrote 30k of omegaverse no i don't know how it happened#and i think both people who like it omegaverse and people who dont like may not like this fic lmao#i just think if something is an ingrained part of society it won't be at the center of every conflict#and so i think there's maybe both too little and too much typical omegaverse content#idk guys it's finished now#so there's that! wheee!
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Reading the webtoon and…
Does this imply that Kim Dokja also tried to write a questionnaire for her to fill in since she wouldn’t speak to him, that either he 1) never gave her in the end (especially if he couldn’t find her after she was released) or 2) gave it to her and she STILL refused to answer?
Because that is so so so so awful. It was already bad but if he tried so many ways to get her to speak and she still gave him no response, regardless of her reasoning… isn’t that still directly choosing to cut herself fully out of his life? Why in the hell did she lie for his sake and allow him to visit her if she wanted to never speak to him again?
I know everyone claims Kim Dokja is just like her in sacrificing himself for loved ones, but at least he tries his best to stay with them and to keep them in his life. He still chooses sacrifice, but it’s not because he intends to never return. He always returns (even if much later than planned).
The only time this differs is with 51%, when he STILL tried his best to stay with them - at least as much as he could.
I sometimes like Lee Sookyung, but I am mostly still SO mad at her for completely ignoring her child since he was 8 years old. Especially when he must have looked like shit any number of times from being mistreated and bullied by family, friends, army, employers.
But maybe that’s just the fragment in me being eternally pissed with her. She DOES love him, but like he says in the webtoon in this chapter - maybe such truths are painful enough to be false anyways, because they’re just SUCH bullshit. That’s not how affection should work, if you actually care about someone and want them to be happy.
#RAWWRGHHH I WANT TO SHAKE HER SO MUCH#LOOK AFTER YOUR KID#and if you can’t do that because of circumstances at least ACKNOWLEDGE HIM#yes I do know she cared and it’s just that she mistakenly believes he’s better off this way without her but like#then WHY does she still insert herself back into his life when he’s finally stopped trying to get her to speak?#yes yes others have great analyses on her and their relationship and I usually agree with their logic but it’s still. So. Hard. to like her#but then I remember that this story was the little Dream’s wishful thinking to cope back then on his own#and so maybe in his world Lee Sookyung never ever would speak to him again#he just wished she would so he wrote it down as happening for This older version of him#and that’s somehow worse because like#even in the story where he got her to speak to him again she still won’t speak so he has to force the words out some way (via outer god)#and if that’s true then it’s still just his interpretation of her actions and choices#and not her own since she never told him#so like ARGGHHH#but I like to believe that characters have autonomy despite their respective author’s efforts in documenting them#so she still chose to speak all of this too and he would have accurately interpreted her this way because she controls what she says#even if he (little Dream Kim Dokja) is the one writing it down as wish fulfilment fix-it fic#a fix-it for himself and not just for the other people he loves#😭😭😭#orv#orv spoilers#omniscient reader’s viewpoint#lee sookyung#kim dokja
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Time was at a standstill. Vegas was holding his breath without noticing, and continued to hold it when he did - he was afraid of what would happen if he exhaled loudly enough to draw attention to himself. His gaze was shifting between Pete and the man who was standing before them in the doorway, blocking their entrance. Vegas had never seen him before, but even so, he recognized Pete in him enough to know who he was. A dangerous aura surrounded him. There was an edge to his presence that Vegas would only come across people of certain circles. He was a fighter. A muay khao. Pete's father. Shame coursed through Vegas' body, smearing his skin, settling in his lungs, rendering him speechless. I thought he was dead, he wanted to tell Pete if he could. He wanted to scream at him, I thought you killed him. Pete was the one who broke the stillness. As if awakened by something, he took a half-step back and made a motion with his arms, almost raising them to his chest, but not quite. In an instant, Pete reverted into the pet Vegas had been keeping at the safehouse, bound by handcuffs and afraid of his belt hitting flesh and drawing blood. A lump formed in Vegas' throat. "Have you stopped practicing? Your form is off." The uncanny similarities between Pete and his father appearance-wise didn't mean a thing when it came to their voices. Vegas shivered. Was this what Pete would sound like in a few decades? (Were these the condescending words he'd choose to spew? Was Pete going to embody his father? Was Vegas embodying his?) "What are you doing here?" Pete whispered. "They let me out for a few days, so I came here to collect some money. Imagine my surprise when I found out my offspring left the job someone found him worthy enough of doing to... do what exactly? Yaai didn't want to tell me." He crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Vegas didn't know what he was allowed to say. If he was allowed to say anything at all. "It's none of your business." "I'd say it very much is my business, as well as yaai's business who was dependent on the money you were making being some rich asshole's human shield." A choked sound scratched Vegas' throat. He didn't like getting reminded of Pete being the main family's bodyguard, even though he stopped being one mere months ago. Especially like this. That was the first time Pete's father stopped looking at his son and turned his head to look at Vegas. For a moment, there seemed to be recognition in his eyes. Did he know who Vegas was? Did he care? A snort came out of his mouth. He leaned on the door. "Oh, I see how it is." He laughed, scratched his neck. "I never expected you to whore yourself out for money. Tell me, is it preferable to the path I carved out for you?" Vegas could sense the disgust in his voice. He could also see it on Pete's face. He was too astonished to share it, but not enough to be unable to speak. "Khun, there has been some misunderstanding-" "Don't bother. I can recognize a faggot when I see one." Pete's movements were too fast for Vegas to stop him. A direct jab to the nose; his father fell like a pack of cards, groaning like a wounded animal. Surprisingly, no blood - Pete held back. Vegas didn't know what to think about that. "That was a pathetic attack, even for you." "Get up." "We're not in the ring, son." Pete growled. Vegas could see his hands trembling as he was keeping them in the air, maintaining an offensive stance. "That never stopped you before." "You were too young to understand what I was doing back then. What I was preparing you for." Pete was silent. "The world isn't kind. It'll fuck you over one way or another." He got up, spat on the ground. "You still haven't learned a thing. You're too old to afford being naive." He turned around, and without sparing a look at Pete again, said: "Now get the fuck out of my house." (For @musictooth, whose posts about Pete's father have reignited my passion for this specific concept and for @wretchedamaranth, whose comments on my writing are always lovely and precious ❤️)
#tw slur#vegaspete#pete saengtham#snippet#yu is writing#I started writing this today while waiting for my bus to arrive and wrote most of it on public transport <33#(hopefully it doesn't show lol)#there's a lot of context missing here but basically: VP visit yaai and a wild father appears#I didn't have space to include her unfortunately but just imagine her in the background with a sad look on her face#which is mostly fixed on Vegas :))#for no reason at all :))#due to a certain someone who I won't name (😤) I mayyy turn this into a fic? Maybe?#because 1. I did have a similar idea a year or so ago but never did anything with it and 2. this concept NEEDS to be explored more come on#because in my mind Vegas and Pete can't go to yaai's house until/unless Pete's father leaves#all their stuff is in her house#and they only have Vegas' car with which they traveled there#and Bangkok is too far away to go back now in the middle of the night (yes this happens at night time)#so basically what I'm saying is: VP will spend their night in the car :)#I'm sure the combination of an agitated Pete and a tired Vegas who's also equating Pete with his father due to their external similarities#will be a delightful experience for them both#I'm vibrating out of my skin just thinking about it#can I promise I'll write it and put it out there? Hell no#can I still get excited by the prospect of it happening? Hell yes#sorry I'm rambling a little too much over here#I just haven't felt this good writing in MONTHS#thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it <3333
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Love Confessions, Angst, Open ended, Mentioned Tommy Kinard, Eddie Diaz Needs a Hug (9-1-1 TV), he is getting therapy though, Sad, Well kind of sad, use your imagination for what happens after the end, Hurt, i also don't know how to rate but there is nothing explicit, Just a lot of emotions, Post-Season/Series 07, Crying, First Kiss, Angsty first kiss, Not Soft, well kind of softer at the end, idk i think thats everything Series: Part 1 of Normalcy Summary:
"Why did you never say anything?"
"I tried. I tried."
-----
Buck wants to move in with Tommy.
Eddie has feelings.
A fight comes of it.
#a little fic i wrote#buddie#evan buckley#buck x eddie#eddie diaz#911 abc#i think its ok#i think its going to turn into a series but liked this as a standalone too much to make it multi-chapter#currently working on part two so maybe not so open ended lol
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for the violence ask game: 8 common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about. for milgram. i know exactly what you're going to say i just want to see you go off again
Hiii bestie. You do know what I'm about to talk about. Yippee
Disclaimer that this whole essay is like. For fun and how I say things is ramped up to be funny. I don't mind if you disagree w me cuz like that's the nature of things! We disagree but we can get along.
Anyways short answer for people who don't wanna see the essay: organ harvesting theory. This is about shidou.
Idk how prevalent it is rn since not many people even talk about shidou but it was prevalent enough in June when I got into milgram that I believed it for a bit anyways the rest in under the cut cuz I'm insane sorrg
SO the main reason I think the theory is WRONG (hyperbole‼️) is because I just think it's unrealistic. Man works in a hospital in Japan. How would he pull it off. Scuff an operation bad enough to cause braindeath/death and I'm p sure they suspend your medical licence, if he participated in an organ harvesting operation pre-family-accident his case would then be black and white cuz he was doing it in complete sound mind with no regard for human life. Also it wouldn't justify the extreme reaction he's had to realizing, specifically, "what I've been robbing people of" (t1 voice trailer), and he wouldn't have as heavy a focus on the relatives' feelings and reactions. At least story writing wise it'd make less sense since it doesn't allude to anything if that's the end goal? Imo at least. Idk maybe this is because I really like tragedies in media. Also because it'd be a really disproportionately severe crime compared to every other direct murderer???? Like. We have strangled someone, stabbed someone, bludgeoning, bludgeoning, kicked someone to death. Organ harvesting looks cartoony in this context. It's also not a very prevelant issue in Japan iirc.
Also to prove my point further. If we use this theories the murders would be
Strangling, abortion??????, cyber bullying, stabbing, organ harvesting, toxic r/s, telling the truth (lmao), bludgeoning, bludgeoning, bludgeoning (minus weapon). Organ harvesting is goofy cuz it seems so.... Extreme,,,,,,,
ALSSOOOOO funny point. If he's not directly involved in his murder (as in, unintentional and indirect) that makes 5 direct and 5 indirect. Silly.
Also also his murder seems somewhat tied to how he feels about his job itself ("I wanted to contribute to society (about his career choice)/I had thought my work was a contribution to society", use of past tense) and to me it reads like hes disillusioned w his job esp since his reason for getting a highly sought after, high paying and high social ranking job is "I wanted to contribute to society". Doctors with that empathy can be affected by the death around them more severely and I think that's a fun topic to look at
I count this under "common fandom opinion" cuz it was common enough around June (whenyours truesly got into milgram) that I believed it. I mean I introduced shidou to my friend (hello clown) as "maybe Dr malpractice. Organ harvesting dude" and said friend (hello again clown) is also the one who's heard me bash the organ harvesting theory like 6 times at least now so. Yippee.
Take none of this seriously I just got off a plane and am so very eepy. If you like the organ harvesting theory good for you!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 you do you bestie !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally do not think less of anyone who believes that theory I just personally dont lmao
#sand speaks#hiiiii bestie my silly mutual. youve heard this rant before now for it poorly formatted in text#i mean its better formatted than when i actually talk abt it cuz if i wrote it the way i originally did the points would not be organised#like at all. itd be so bad#anyways all of this is lighthearted i dont think less of anyone with different opinions i just. dont believe the theory at all#i like the tragedy thag comes woth it technhcally not being his fault but also kinda being his fault.#like maybe he had really bad manners towards relatives. or horribls bedside manner (youre in my way just die already“ like ok mr kirisaki.#dont say that to a comatose patient my dude. but yeah it can be argued that morally hed be in the wdong#or if he persuaded relatives to dknate patients organs. which is rude and also malpractice (coercion and taking advantage of ppl in vulnerab#and with his themes of lying (covers) i fhink it could wither be lying to relatives of patients OR. him seeing hsi work and the promise of#saving people from illness or death as a lie and a hoax becasye so many people died anyways despite those promises#anhwyas im insane about this man. characters with extreme worldviews entirely of their own making my beloved#like nothing told him to believe this. he just does and thats whats interesting to me#anywasy suuper sorry about the big essay and the many tags. i love this fandom#i have so much to say but so little phone battery. and mental battery its Zzzzzzzzz time#tell me if abything in here sounds mean or anything btw im too used to being mean as a jokiing thing so im worried ill offend someone
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Mildly obsessed with Dooku tbh. The grandpa of all time
#dani ramblings#he sees his Grandpadawan for the first time and his immediate reaction is to Gaslight#he uses the form that has you salute your opponent#he’s a duke#he never takes off his cape to fight#he leads a confederacy and lies to them like every step of the way#he’s shot at and he’s like “meh whatever”#he has the solar sailer#he’s just so . idek#I fully believe he could have killed Anakin and Obi-Wan on Geonosis but his heart wasn’t in it#maybe there was a little bit of Qui-Gon in Obi-Wan. maybe there was a little bit in Anakin.#in obi-wan’s tactics. in Anakin’s arrogance. in obi-wan’s defensive form. in the way Anakin ties his obi.#maybe he felt qui-gon’s death through the force and recognised that - selfishly - he couldn’t kill the remnant of his own Padawan#idk idk idk I am THINKING#“he’s a political idealist not a murderer” “he was once a Jedi” “my old friend” RAHHHH I am thinking TOO MUCH#edit he’s not a duke he’s a count duh I was high on migraine when I wrote this 💀
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My interpretation of Mono and Thin Man's POV at the end of Little Nightmares 2 – or a lot of ramble about how I personally see it
I'm never getting over the fact that the scene where Mono meets Six in the Hunter's house, and the scene where he finds her in the Transmission are basically the same. He follows a nice music – the same music both times – in a scary place and finds a door. He breaks the door with an axe that was nearby. Behind the door is this little girl – tall monster girl the second time but still a child inside – playing with a music box. The girl gets scared by him breaking the door and hides in the left corner. He calls her gently, and she walks toward him all curled up in the same position, both times, looking just like a scared animal or something. Finally, she ends up freaking out and running around the place – but only the second time, she really is dangerous. Only the second time, Mono needs to break this door again and again to reach her and save her, by destroying this same. Music box. That made the little girl feel safe in this scary room where she was trapped.
You know all of the interpretations and theories for all that happens at the end of this game – what the Thin Man wanted (if he even wanted anything at all), what his level of consciousness were at this point – are so interesting and I love them all, because the whole point of this game I think is that everyone is gonna see what they want, make the connections that make them feel the most emotions. I personally chose to focus on these parallels, so my interpretation is this one :
At the end of everything, to me all of this led to one thing for Mono. He couldn't bring himself to want his friend dead, but he could think of one thing. "What if I had never met her. Never saved her. What if I had left her in this room where she was. I should've left her." And so the Thin Man made her a monster and locked her in this exact. Same. Situation. Maybe at this point he didn't have consciousness left except the confused feelings that made him what he was, but he did that. And from Mono's POV the first time he saw this room... It was just like saving Six a second time. Both times were about saving someone – when he met her, then when he rescued her. Saving a potential ally the first time, and a friend the second.
But then she betrayed him – for whatever reasons she had, a lot of interpretations are interesting to me but it's not the point here – and from Mono's point of view, he couldn't understand why. From his point of view, he never wronged her. He always helped her. He saved her so many times. Put himself in danger for her so many times. The scared little thing he found in the Hunter's house became his friend. He trusted her. Why would it be different the second time ? Why would she betray him the second time ? Why ? He did everything RIGHT. And at the end, for Mono only this feeling stayed, the only thing that was left of him after the sadness and anger drove him mad and he became a monster ; deprived of any consciousness, deprived of everything he was except this unsufferable guilt and regret that would later determine his actions, even if after a while he couldn't remember why exactly nor think rationally :
"What if I had never met her. Never saved her. What if I had left her in this room where she was. I should've left her."
And so he goes and tries to fix that. Maybe at the beginning he really had a plan, when he was still fully conscious – using his past self to prevent him from meeting Six. Sending him messages through the TVs. Using the power he had to FIX THIS. Fix the mistake he made to save Six, or at least warn his past self before it's too late. To me he didn't want revenge – he wanted to FIX things. But as he became a monster he lost consciousness. We talk a lot about how he potentially felt, slowly seeing himself becoming the Thin Man... but maybe he never even truly had the time to realize it, as he was spiraling into madness. And all that was left at the end was really just this feeling of a twisted logic. "I should've left her where she was. I can fix this by putting her back where she was."
#this is my first real “meta” I think ? I usually never post them so please be nice ;-;#sorry if I repeat myself a lot here lmao#this is my interpretation of the ending through Mono's POV#no theory is more valid than another considering the fact this game wants us to make our own interpretations#and this is what I love about it#maybe I wrote too much I'm just very passionate lol#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#mono#mono little nightmares#little nightmares mono#the thin man#the transmission#the signal tower#little nightmares theories#meta
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Dragon's Tongue
✧ Nebarra x human!LDB, ft. Xelzaz & Khash ✧ Fluff, minor angst; 1300+ words ♫ "You And I (Stripped)" - PVRIS ✒ Something short n sweet today, I'm feeling soft
Nebarra was loath to admit it to himself, and he'd die before ever saying it aloud, but the Rift really was beautiful. Nothing compared to Alinor, to be sure, but... all the gold reminded him of home. And when he passed by a small, isolated farm, he could almost see himself on its porch, see his brother leaning against the door.
The illusions were younger, happier versions of themselves. So much more innocent, faces bright with naivety, eyes shining with plans for the future.
And then he'd gone to war.
He'd lost... so much of himself, in the deserts of Hammerfell. They had scorched and burned him inside and out, slowly bleeding him dry with every comrade he saw fall. And all that, for what? For all the Altmer's supposed superiority, the campaign had failed on all fronts – Hammerfell's walls and people defied them, and Cyrodiil remained in power, weakened but still unbroken.
How could the Thalmor still strut about, arrogant to Aetherius and back, when they had failed so miserably? How could they look at the faces of the families whose children and lovers they'd sent to die and only tell them they'd "served their purpose"?
Nebarra couldn't.
He couldn't face them at all. Not even through pen and paper, leagues away from ever having to look them in the eyes, ever having to see the pain and loss in their gaze.
Where the Thalmor were heartless, he was a coward.
And he didn't know which was worse.
~~~
Night fell, and you called the group to halt, to make camp until dawn. Nebarra set up the tent as you argued with Xelzaz, trying to convince him that no, he shouldn't summon a flame atronach and then kill it for its fire salts, no matter how good it would make dinner taste. Khash merely looked on, muching on some clover she'd picked up somewhere.
At last though, you got Xelzaz to relent, though he asked you to gather some herbs in exchange, listing off the plants he wanted you to find.
"Ah... and take Nebarra with you."
The elf froze. Turned slowly towards the lizard. Demanded, "What? Why?"
"Two eyes are better than one," he shrugged, "and that much safer, as well. We don't know what's out there, and I'm pretty sure we passed a necromantic altar on our way here."
At that, you groaned, head rolling back like a teenager who'd just been told to do their chores. "Gods, not another one. Why do we always seem to run into those?"
"Luck of the Dragonborn? Anyway, off with you now – I have to get set up. Let's see, in whose pack did I leave my cooking pot...? Khash! Come help me with this!"
And just like that he walked off, leaving you and Nebarra alone by the campfire. A chuckle escaped you, and he glanced over to see you shaking your head. "I'm surprised he didn't tell us to hold hands, too, so we don't lose each other in the dark."
"Yeah, I'm not holding your hand," Nebarra snarked. And it was true. Absolutely true. Totally, one-hundred percent true.
"Oh wow, Nebs, that one almost hurt." Your soft laugh seemed to echo in his ears, his mind. "Come on, let's go – I don't suppose you heard any of the plants he wants?"
Blue and yellow mountain flowers, to restore and fortify. Purple for rejuvenation, and to give to Khash. Scaly pholiota for fiber and strengthening. Wild gourds and dragon's togue for flavour.
He snorted from behind his helm. "That would require paying attention to him."
"Should have known," you sighed. "Alright, listen up before I forget: blue, yellow, and purple mountain flowers, scaly pholiota, and dragon's tongue. And be careful with the purple mountain flowers, they're gifts for Khash. Oh, he also wants some wild gourds. Got it?"
"...Yeah, yeah. Let's just get going."
He definitely hadn't feigned ignorance just to hear your voice some more. Definitely not.
~~~
"Ah, back at last! Perfect," Xelzaz said, stirring something in a pot over the fire. "Now I can get the real meal started."
"Then what's this?" Nebarra demanded as Xelzaz handed him a bowl, in exchange for the plants the Altmer carried. Even through his gauntlets he could feel its warmth, and a rich, savory scent drifted up through the slits of his helmet.
"Something amazing, from the smell," you sighed, and Nebarra didn't have to look to know you were drooling.
"Just a little sometime to hold you over," the Argonian demurred, handing you a bowl as well. "Thought I'd experiment with some of the flora I've gathered thus far."
That gave Nebarra pause. "Wait – experiment? That's settled, I'm not eating this."
"If you don't want it–"
Your words were drowned out by Khash's eager shout of, "I'll eat it! I'll take your bowl!" She rushed over to him, red eyes trained on the food.
"Khash, you had your share," Xelzaz chided. "Any more and you won't have room for the rest of dinner."
"Yes, I will! I have room for anything you make."
"She's got a point," you laughed, and Nebarra slowly, wordlessly handed her the bowl.
"I'll go keep watch," he grumbled, turning away.
"Oh, don't be like that! Nebarra!" When he didn't respond, you sighed, calling after him, "Alright, go sulk! I'll make sure Xelzaz doesn't poison your share, though you kind of deserve it!"
His back still towards you, Nebarra raised his hand in a rude gesture, and your laughter rang through the night.
Some thirty minutes later, he heard footsteps approaching; he didn't need to turn to know it was you. Your tread was distinct from the others, weighted with determination and confidence, whereas Xelzaz's was soft and steady, and Khash's light and hesitant.
"Here. Eat." Despite the short words, your tone was gentle, and Nebarra looked over to see you holding a plate out towards him, laden with a slab of meat and wild berries to the side. "It's delicious, and unpoisoned."
"How would you know?" he sniffed, catching a whiff of the food in the process. It... did smell amazing. "Did you try it?"
"I did, actually. Stole some of your steak when Xelzaz wasn't looking. And since I'm still standing here pestering you, I guess that means it's clean."
Nebarra paused, eyes training on your face. Half of it was wreathed in shadow, only the gleam of your eyes visible; the other half was illuminated by the campfire, revealing the soft smile you wore.
You... had a nice smile.
And before he could stop himself, he mumbled, "You're not... pestering me."
Surprise flickered in your gaze – surprise, and something else. Something he told himself he didn't recognise, refused to recognise.
After a moment, you said softly, "That's... good to hear, then. Because I have something else for you, too." Reaching down with your free hand, you pulled something from your belt and held it out before him. "I saved one, 'cause it reminded me of you."
Nebarra stared. There, held gently between your fingers, was a dragon's tongue flower, petals open wide and colours vibrant in full bloom. "This... reminded you of me?"
"It's gold. Just like you."
"...You really do have trouble with your eyesight, don't you? These are orange."
"Eh, close enough." You shrugged, the smile never leaving your face.
Slowly, Nebarra reached out and, ignoring the plate of food, took the flower carefully, delicately from your grasp, cradling it in his palm. "...Am I supposed to say thank you?"
"You just did." As he raised a brow from the shadows of his helm, you set the plate on a nearby rock and tapped the gauntlet that held the flower. "You accepted it."
He couldn't deny it. "Think you got me all figured out then, huh?"
Something in your smile shifted, your gaze flickering. "No. Not yet, anyways. But... I think I'd like to." And with that, you turned on your heel and walked away, leaving him alone in the dark, stunned.
And that night, as he sat in the shadows of the campfire, he stared at the flower for a long, long time.
#nebarra#nebarra skyrim#skyrim nebarra#skyrim#tes 5#whisper writes#finally wrote that thing from my tags ages ago#and by ages i mean like a week lmaoo#also i now officially have the headcanon now that khash likes to munch on clovers and i don't know what to do with this thought#anyway in other news im so tired?? like for some reason writing Just Tonight REALLY drained me#i dont know how to describe it other than the fact that writing it felt like.... it took something from me?#idk man maybe i just burnt myself out a little; i haven't written so much and been so intent about it in actual years#tragically im not even happy about how it turned out but tbfh when is an artists ever satisfied with their own work??? neverrrr#im so tired man lol#i wanna keep working on the second part of just tonight and I have ideas for it but i just.... cannot right now lol#anyway off to play more skyrim and hopefully recharge#starting an altmer mage/college of winterhold playthough with only altmer followers#so that means im grabbing nebs; caryalind; taliesin; rumarin; idrinth; and eventually Telmiltarion since I downloaded summerset isle too#he has a standalone verison that doesnt require the full mod but#figured i'd play through the whole thing at least once since it ties into the cow story anyways#help why does “college of winterhold” abbreviate to fuckin COW I just noticed😭#anywho... ive never actually played with tel or idrinth before so im actually a little nervous; i hope i like them lol#wanted to try daegon too but then i saw she was pulled for updates and was like nuuuuu#might see about posting a screenie once i've got the whole crew together#anyway im off to go play for reals this time lol bye
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i hateeeee sskk so bad nearly a full year with absolutely NO new fic ideas for them then atsushi comments on akutagawa’s eyes one (1) time and suddenly i’ve got like four with no time to write ANY of them right now
#sorry are you guys normal about that part or…..?#cause i’m so NOT#took a stressed shower over it today#because wtf#they’re so romantic they make me want to throw up#NEED to get through my one fic for another fandom that’s almost done so i can finally return to them#i love writing them sm#but i got a little stuck after finishing the last one i wrote for them#cause i liked it too much my brain couldn’t latch on to any new ideas lol#but maybe it’s TIME??#bsd manga spoilers#bsd spoilers#bungou stray dogs spoilers#you may wonder if the spoiler tags are necessary for refing a single comment#and yes they are😌#because if someone spoiled atsushi mooning over akutagawa’s serious eyes for me i would have eaten a table
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so today i have posted about akktheo, posted gifs of topmew, posted forcebook pics and shared a forcebook fic for beta'ing, and am currently writing guncher fanfic
they've taken over my life so wholly and viscerally i don't know why i still act shocked at this point but oh my god
#also turns out the stuff i wrote yesterday isn't as bad as i thought it was once i reread it#i think it'll be fine#it's just a little goofier than my normal style because cher is hard to write#IN GENERAL book's characters seem to be the harder to write than force's#which is kind of the opposite when it comes to rpf book and force#i'm not saying force's characters are simple or lack depth but book's always seem to have SO much going on#theo with his big lie and culture shock and language barriers#cher with his bubbly personality and talking a lot and dark past#mew with his quiet seduction and intelligence and playful side and life-altering rage#it's a lot to juggle!!!!#although the recurring theme is naïveté which is interesting 🤔#i guess you kind of get that from book himself too 🤔#anyway. maybe it's the challenge of writing them that makes them so fun to write even when it's difficult#or i just love them too much#or both#fb
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reading back my own wip is driving me crazy like fuck me this writing is so GOOD AAAAAA.
its not Objectively good of course, its too long winded and heavy handed and outright confusing in some parts bc of how wordy the sentences are, but its so absolutely perfect FOR ME. like its so good. im obsessed w myself. amen
#i wrote it just SO long ago like before a lot of my other wips and theres still nowhere to really Take it#which is why its sat there for months untended#-actually wait i distinctly remember writing the climax argument on the plane to utah. beautiful. anyway-#but the way i wrote it just. grisps me. like that picture of the hand holding the pigeon you know.#its so short maybe if i can just bridge the middle part without trying to draw it out too much i might even just post it#like why nawt. im sure someone out there would love a hard to read overdramatic fic<3#obsessed w self but also killing self a little bc i read back the wips i wrote before my life fell apart and its so#it wasnt That long ago but the style and quality is different#up and down in different ways but overall the creative energy i had feels so completely out of reach now#i know im still writing and publishing and its doing alright#but theres just a certain spark thats been missing and im trying hard to compensate and work around it#but it makes me a bit sad to go back and have concrete proof that i used to have it#like idk there's something that feels so much more alive and dynamic in those wips...idk how to get that back ):
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anyway i need to hang out with my brother again he is the one person who i am pretty sure knows literally everything about me so he's the only person i trust that i can absolutely not disappoint. nothing i can do could be worse than the sum of everything i've been doing to that poor man (and him to me) the past 19 years
#especially now that im back into literally the only interest we actually share on a deep enough level to enjoy it together LOL#i mean we were also both into hannibal but thats just not an enjoyable show to watch together its too much effort#but wow that time we read das boot slash fanfic on the bus together that was awesome#and the time we wrote fanfic together lol LITERALLY WHY DID WE STOP#he has only gotten cooler and more comfortable with his gayness since then we need to write fanfic again ‼️#anyway i feel sorry for every person in my life but i dont think anyone ill ever know could ever have as close a relationship to me as him#were platonic soulmates lol but like not in the spiritual sense bc its pretty obvious that its not some supernatural bond#its juuuust shared trauma haha and the fact that our trauma is so complex and layered that only we will ever truly understand each other#there has been a really rough patch where we practically did not talk for 4... 5? whole years im serious. maybe on the weekends sometimes#while we were stewing in our own shit. but now were inseperable i think it actually pisses off the rest of our family because every time#theres some event where we meet again (we live like 5 hours apart) we only hang around for like an hour before we get in his car#and drive somewhere and hang out there for the rest of the day and night and only return at like 3am drunk#in a sense i guess were catching up on all the missed time#to be honest we both had some horrible shit going on in our heads me with the transgenderism and toxic relationship#him with his anger issues and (what he calls) psychopathy. like ill say this much he was not a good person as a child he was a devil#he was quite literally what some describe as born evil like u know those satans spawns kids that cut off babys fingers and dissect rabbits#all that yk. and i was his first and most frequent victim due to availability lol and my parents did not know any of it and if they did#they ignored it. so yeah u can imagine the relationship was a little strained and for a long time i lived in fear of him#also due to all the death threats and attempts on my life HAHA its kinda funny because i can say all this all detached now#but i think to anyone else this sounds mad as hell. like im not talking roughhousing or being mad at each other#he was always scarily calm and hyperintelligent he was actually diagnosed with some form of like super high intelligence that#makes kids capable of being really manipulative and thats what he used at every turn. everything was always calculated that was scary#if he was nice to me i would question if he was trying to lure me somewhere to hurt me yk?#anyway. sometimes those old thoughts come back when were hanging out alone but mostly i know hes changed and worked on himself#sorry oversharing oh wow
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me: just started electromagnets
also me: I have a save for mirene and co, I have a save for keith... the only logical sequence would be to also do a story for tobias/galactic crusade
#I was in cas for it already it's totally happening#oh and of course the perfect timing because the lenniversary is sep 7th so keep an eye out for it then#I have only started setting up the families but maybe giving myself a little deadline will motivate me a bit#life is so chaotic that my pookies and their stories are literally the only thing that's saving me right now without exaggeration#I wish I could spill everything at once that has happened to them in my head in the past couple of years#these years were so formative for me like I've been through some shit and I feel like my characters have also grown massively#pre-2021 they were so different and my writing was so different as well#like I reread sometimes and am like no way I wrote this#I think accepting my neurodivergence also really changed the game in terms of perspective and my gf helped with this so much too#oh and re: galactic crusade story - I originally thought I'll get there in new fletcher chronicles but honestly it's unrealistic#and I don't want to rush and want to enjoy keith too#so I thought it will be separate so I can switch between the stories whatever I'm inspired for the most
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Misc lore drop day 30/?
Whoops this is quite late. I wish I had smth special for Day 30, but unfortunately my brain isn't cooperating. So I'll just talk about a vettonso thing I find funny, and maybe by the end of writing, it'll turn into something significant. Or I'll have energy tmr to draw significance from it.
So. Monza 2008. Seb's first win. If you've followed my vettonsoing, you'll know Fernando was the first to congratulate him, and bodily hugged him in the process. Though to me, this has even greater significance beyond Seb's win. As far as I'm aware, this means Fernando is the first one to initiate affection, at least on tape. And it wasn't even the typical "oh we're on the podium together, so I have to bro-hug you." Nah, it was a full hug, and a choice he made for no other reason than to genuinely congratulate him since he wasn't even on the podium, at least that's how it feels to me. This is fascinating cause from then on, for a while, it was mostly Seb pursuing him(well maybe that's the negative impact of the flag moment lmao.) But yeah, I don't really know what their relationship before that moment was like at all, but this was very unexpected and sweet, HOWEVER.
I've been loath to show it, maybe I'll post it sometime, because who really wants to spread around clips of their ship not shipping. But it's so funny, there's this moment in 2011(European GP), where their parc ferme customary bro-hug is soooo awkward and limp and not even a hug that even the commentators are vocally like, "wow that was limp." It wasn't even a close race afaik, Seb went from pole to P1. It's fascinating to see what being competitors and rivals does to two people. To go from taking initiative to full-body hug some first time winner rookie to limply grasping hands with him only a few years later. Like can you not even bring yourself to do a firm hug, a bro hug even? Why congratulate him in the first place then? Courtesy, image? ….desire for physical contact–
I 100% understand being bitter about your rival winning over you, like I don't even understand in the first place how any of them can hug each other at all after races. But it's funny because in the clip, there's a car between them, and Seb goes to grab his hand even though they're separate. So there's distance between them already, and to me, that would make it easier to congratulate him because you don't even have to bring yourself to get near him. HOWEVER, Fernando insists on coming around the car to be closer??? Like oh yeah I'll still make it awkward, but we need to be closer first. How are you gonna be the one who insists on being closer, but act all limp and awkward and even shy away from making eye contact??? I guess tomorrow's post will be about how(in the AU), Fernando is the one to initiate affection, but Seb's the one who's more comfortable about it.
#not to be whiney in the tags of every one of these but#i enjoy writing them but i kinda lose motivation for it bcs it feels like im throwing them into the void#so if you like these please feel free to comment :) even just a little thing. it makes me feel less pathetic fljskdjld#wah i wrote more than i thought#i guess it feels a bit lacking just talking abt canon and not really expressing WHY i think it matters#thats what tmr is for probably#also is this one too l*stappen LMFAO maybe im reading into it too much idk#im just dying at the commentors calling it out#cause it didnt look TOO awkward in the pics i saw first but god the vid. dying.#lore a day#vettonso
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Ah, now me being extra emotional yesterday makes sense
#it was pre-period syndome (not a real term just me having noticed that I tend to have lowered tolerance for emotional stressors#right before my period starts)#it reminds me of something I wrote about autistic people that sometimes we have a hard time differentiating physical pain and emotional one?#maybe that has something to do with it too#I had an inkling I would feel horrible today (I do) and not knowing why#so the best conclussion I could find was emotional isolation?#don't get me wrong the feelings I expressed yesterday was definitely true (still have them a little) yet now it seems a bit less doomsday#now I just find myself being very much hindered by cramps I cannot concentrate on much else than pity crying in the corner#(i love being a person with ovaries /s)#micahs thoughts#few corrections: read not wrote and symdrome not syndome
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