#Maturing yuck

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[vvienne]

The reason why Isaac and jeannemary really did have to die is that if they were still involved I think it would have shamed everyone enough not to even do half of all that

[lunar-nebulari]

Alright I get it,

I get that everyone wants the angst, I get that sometimes you just wanna read a sad fic that doesn't end well, and that is going to exist in every fandom.

But I firmly believe that Jack and Bitty are in love in every way, in every universe. There is not a reasonable explanation for them to not be together/break up.

And I stand by that

[petermorwood]

Is "Uh, nope" a frequent US response to lamb?

Or is US lamb somehow different?

This is just a vaguely mystified response to some comments here.

I'm guessing the "G-word" is gamey. I've smelt gamey meat, I don't like it, and Irish lamb definitely isn't that. Also, most people I know don't need to screw up their courage before cooking or eating it.

Mutton, mature sheep-meat, has - or so I've been told, because I've never found it in any local butcher - a much fuller flavour, still not gamey, but more ... robust, pronounced, emphatic, choose your descriptor. It is, after all, a more mature meat.

For terminology reference (though this may not be current any more), "lamb" is up to one year old, "hogget" - remember the farmer's name in "Babe"? - is up to two years old, and "mutton" is over two years.

*****

As I said, I haven't seen mutton anywhere, and haven't HEARD of hogget.

This might be, as I hinted, because terminology has been simplified and all meat from sheep is now "lamb" - and that may answer my own question. Sometimes US lamb has a fuller flavour than, say, Wicklow lamb in Ireland, because sometimes US lamb is hogget or mutton instead.

If so, it restores a possible original meaning to "mutton dressed as lamb". That's now best known as "an older woman dressed inappropriately young", and though the meaning has been around for a long time (this Rowlandson print is dated 1810)...

..."dressing" is also the term for preparing meat for sale.

And THAT makes me wonder if the critical phrase goes beyond fashion into the fine old tradition of adulterating food, and wily butchers transforming elderly sheep into the semblance of younger lamb then charging undiscerning customers accordingly.

I don't know how they might have done it, but if they could then they would. The ways in which 18th-19th century foods were fiddled with is amazing, and more than a bit Yuck.

Or in this case, Ew.

Comments, corrections, criticisms and all the rest are cordially invited.

:->

*****

Side-note; in keeping with the way nicknames get attached to surnames - "Chalky" White, "Dusty" Miller etc. - anyone called Curry usually ended up as "Mutton".

Two brothers at my school had this happen; Tom Curry, the older one, had been "Mutton" for a couple of years, and when his kid brother Will started school he became, of course, "Lamb".

Oh, how we laffed...

*****

ETA: @bellyoftheblast just messaged me this:

It turns out, and I only learned this very recently (I think it's in Hannah Glasse) that "dressed" used to mean "cooked" rather than "prepared for sale". Which would mean "mutton dressed as lamb" would be fast-cooked and thus greasy, unpleasantly tough and decidedly stringy. (Meanwhile I'll never waste good lamb on stew again now that I have a source for mutton -- MUCH better flavour for slow cooking).

Thanks for this snippet! We've got the Prospect Books facsimile of Hannah Glasse 1st ed, so I pulled it down, blew off the dust - it's been a while - and yes indeed, I found the following recipes in just four successive pages:

"To dreſs a Leg of Mutton à la Royale",

"To dreſs a Leg of Mutton to eat like Veniſon",

"To dreſs Mutton the Turkiſh Way"

"To dreſs Veal à la Bourgoiſe"

Mutton dressed (or dreſsed) as Lamb doesn't get mentioned, probably because Mistress Glasse knew better, though that business of Mutton to eat (taste) like Venison is interesting.

It involves cutting the leg of mutton "in the shape of a Haunch of Veniſon" then steeping it in the sheep's blood "for five or six Hours" before wrapping it in layers of buttered paper and roasting it, basted frequently with butter or beef dripping.

Not quite mutton as lamb, but still mutton disguised as something more expensive...

[accultant]

Iago can hardly remember a time before they were a suspicious . nosy . observant person. Keeping a close eye on Freiora really wasn’t anything personal. It wasn’t a slight against her at all. In fact, Iago had started to enjoy their interactions as of late - still rare, but more frequent than before they had been embarrassingly carted off in the middle of their slumber. 

Still, Iago couldn’t help but watch. Notice. Pry. And Freiora had quite the habit of sneaking around at least once a week. Astarion’s nighttime sauntering was expected, but Freiora… Iago wasn’t sure what she was up to whenever they spied her walking out to the woods. Curious, to say the least. 

And a bit concerning, when she didn’t come back. At least not at the time she usually would. ( That is not a normal thing someone should know, Iago. You are a creep, Iago. )

So, somewhere between inquisitive and worried, Iago stalks follows. 

They hear the fighting before they catch up, just close enough to get a peek without being seen themselves. Then they see what is being hunted. Or, rather, who. It doesn’t take a genius to put together the pieces, but Freiora is already falling to the ground when they come to the conclusion. 

She did her fair share of sanguine damage before she fell, Iago has to admit when they finish the rest. They simply walk into the fray, making a beeline towards Freiora. It’s almost like getting to stretch after being hunched over for too long. Iago prefers to balance right on the line where they’re just useful enough to be kept around by their companions, but not quite impressive enough to gawk at, to be a threat or a boon worth looking too closely at. But no one is looking now, and their hands are already crackling in anticipation.

By the time the hunters have noticed the quiet intruder, they’ve already flicked a wrist towards them, arcs of lightning choking two of them until their eyes are bulging and their corpses twitch together on the ground. One of them takes a swing that’s easy enough to dodge and it only takes a snap before his lungs fill with acid, choking him before he can land. A flick here, a muttered spell there, and Iago makes short, brutal work of the dogs who seemed to have made Freiora their latest target practice. They hardly even have to slow their walk towards their lycanthropic companion, who looks very, extremely unwell when they crouch down next to her.

They flex their hands and try for a healing spell - eliciting a painful sting up their arms and a muttered string of curses when it backfires like every other time. “Stupid,” they grumble as they rush back to their feet and towards to the hunters to fish through their pockets for any healing potions. 

“Freiora,” they call over their shoulder as they swallow back their nausea to dig through bloodied belongings. One or two are still writhing, but it's easy to quiet them. “Freiora, I know that’s you. Wake up at least long enough to tell me you’re still alive. Or… bark reassuringly at me or whatever.” They mumble that part before victoriously returning to her side with an intact potion from someone who looks like their ribcage imploded. 

Hells, there is a lot of blood here. Iago’s contribution isn’t much better, leaving them surrounded by unnaturally contorted and smoldering bodies. They wish the revelation about their companion was a distraction from their skin crawling, but there’s more blood still soaked into the fur around her injuries, the bolts shifting slightly with each breath. At least she's still breathing. Maybe it’s a good thing she’s unconscious. Or maybe it just means for a rude awakening when Iago steels themselves and pulls. “Sorry-”

Flashing Teeth

It had been a few weeks since Freiora carried Iago's sleeping form. Over that time, they'd remained mostly distant, but Frei was more likely to strike up friendly banter with them. Still, she'd not opened up about her.. curse... to anyone in the party, yet. No one knew the beast that lurked within her, waiting just under her skin to pounce out and wreak havoc. To avoid that catastrophe, the werewolf went out of her way to prowl the woods every week or so. Allowing the animal some time was good, controlled moments to give it a conduit for its rage.

At least, that's what Freiora had always done, as advised by the late Dulmiir.

She ran. With heavy falls, chest heaving as she panted, the fur-covered monster sprinted through the woods around the camp. Frei didn't go too far away; enough distance to not alert anyone, but close enough to return without trouble.

The hunt went well, for a while. She was out for an hour, chasing after prey. Sharp teeth and claws tore through flesh with ease. It was a rush. It didn't feel good for her heart to do what she did, but they were animals, at least, and not anyone she cared about.

But she was interrupted. As her blood-covered mouth tore chunks of flesh from bone with cracking sounds, she stopped. Her ears perked up and rotated backwards. Someone's there-- but she didn't have time to finish her thought. Within seconds a group of hunters were upon her. Freiora let out a gut-curdling howl before pouncing on the first hunter to close distance. She saw red. Even though she hated herself, and hated this curse, she'd channeled all of that raw rage into despising those who dared punish a victim. A victim of the curse, not someone who gladly embraced it.

Her claw-tipped fingers grasped the man's rib cage. He looked into her eyes, his own frantic, screaming as she tore his ribs out. The screaming stopped.

Frei yelped as a crossbow bolt found purchase in her hindquarters. The lycan whipped around. Eight, no nine... no. Ten. Ten hunters surrounded her, all with crossbows drawn and levelled at her. Without warning, the lycan charged another. Three more bolts embedded themselves in her back as she swung a massive arm into one of their bodies. Gashes exploded through their torso, crimson blood spraying out as they collapsed almost instantly.

Freiora's head began to swim. They were tipped. She didn't know what they were tipped with, but the bolts they used against her must have been dipped in something.

She lurched forward again, hacking and clawing her way through the hunters, but she couldn't keep going. Frei looked like a pincushion, with easily a dozen rods sticking out from her flesh. More lacerations from drawn swords. Her wounds freely leaked blood, and her vision blurred. Can't.. stop.... still more there... but it was no use. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and the lycanthrope's form collapsed to the ground unconscious.

[martiniblues]

dance practice ; 박지성

pairing bf!jisung x female!reader

synopsis with you and jisung’s time running thin due to his schedules, you decide to go visit him at practice. when the two of you finally have some time alone, jisung thinks this is the perfect time to mess with you.

genre established relationship, lots of kissing, slightly suggestive, jisung is a dick lol but it’s okay, features mark and haechan lightly.

wc 1.4k

"okay, it’s looking good, guys. take five.” the choreographer yelled out as the music faded. you sat on a couch in the back of the studio, watching as your boyfriend poured his soul into his dancing.

“baby, here, drink this.” your hand extended the bottle of liquid iv to jisung, who clearly was grateful for the gesture as he chugged the whole thing down in near seconds.

“thank you.” he breathed heavily from having downed a whole water bottle, but regardless of how breathless he was, he still leaned forward and kissed you softly. it was quick, but you knew it meant much more.

with a comeback and tour on the way, you and jisung’s time together had run thin, making it increasingly difficult to have moments where it was only the two of you in the room.

“yuck! take it somewhere else, lovebirds.” haechan squealed once he saw what jisung did. you just laughed while jisung quickly turned to tackle his member to the ground. haechan protested, claiming jisung was “just a baby” and “shouldn’t know about those things yet”.

those things were quite vague coming out of the brunette’s mouth, but you could make a guess, making you flush deeply.

“come on guys, you can fight later!” mark pushed jisung’s head as a cue that they should get back to practicing. all the guys got back to rehearsing, leaving you in the back alone again.

it was hard keeping your cool watching your boyfriend do something he’s so passionate about, especially when it’s dancing to such suggestive songs.

the group continued to rehearse for the next hour with little to no breaks to talk, which maybe was for the best since you were convinced if jisung came with a foot of you, you would pounce.

“okay guys, that was a good practice today; we will keep it up tomorrow, yeah.” the choreographer bid everyone goodbye while jisung came and crashed beside you on the small couch.

the other members just giggled at how much of a baby jisung became around you, usually trying to seem much more mature around them since he was the youngest and all.

“you did really good, ji.” your hand came up and pushed his sweaty hair back from his head, combing your fingers through the rest of his dark strands.

“thank you, baby; it’s just exhausting.” he kissed the side of your neck before resting his head back into place, his eyes shutting at your relaxing fingers playing with his hair.

“i know, but damn, ji, you seriously looked like you were on cloud nine while you were dancing. i swear you couldn’t even tell how tired you were; you always give it your all.” you complimented him, knowing how hard jisung can get on himself for his dancing.

jisung’s head came up to be level with yours, just staring at you with wide eyes and slightly parted lips. “what? is there something on my face or something?” you giggled lightly, touching your face to feel whatever could be taking up jisung’s attention.

“n-no, there's nothing." his hand came up to gently pull yours down, smiling at how cute you were being. “you’re just so pretty.” he finished, combing a piece of your hair behind your ear.

your cheeks must have caught flame from how hot you got from jisung’s words. “whatever, you’re so cheesey, park.” you pushed his hand away, turning to hide your face on the couch.

“don’t start, baby; you know you like it. you’re so red!” with ease, jisung flipped you over as you lay beneath him. you continued to try and hide, embarrassed by how easily jisung could get you all hot and bothered.

for god’s sake, he had you blushing as he danced away from you!

“whatever,” you huffed, feeling defeated against your boyfriend as he just smiled, his eyes practically sparklingly under the low lights of the studio.

it had only been you two in the room for quite some time, but even if there was a whole crowd of people, the two of you wouldn’t even notice, too caught up in one another to even care.

“i missed you, baby.” he whispered as if it were some secret message only for your ears. leaning down, jisung began to litter your face with kisses. beginning at the collar of your shirt all the way to your forehead, missing your lips purposely.

this did no justice to your cheeks, only making you grow hotter. “i-i missed you too… ji.” your hands rested on his neck softly, having to ground yourself from the god who was park jisung.

you felt him smirk against your skin, fully aware of how flustered he had made you. his face hovered inches away from yours, his eyes flicking between your eyes and lips.

you didn’t have to think twice. leaning up to finally connect your lips, you immediately grew confused as jisung pulled further away.

“what? what’s wrong?” you questioned since jisung never resisted you, ever.

he just smiled, leaning back to sit and pulling out his phone to scroll aimlessly.

“babe?” you leaned over, trying to see what could have grabbed his attention all of a sudden. before you could even catch a glimpse, jisung turned fully away and blocked his screen.

“jisung!” you yelled, trying to snatch his phone. undoubtedly, he was stronger than you, so no amount of grabbing was able to make him budge.

sighing, you fell back, defeated and growing very annoyed at your boyfriend. “park jisung.” you scolded, knowing that anytime you referred to him in that manner, he knew you were serious. this time, though, he didn’t even acknowledge you.

“you’re such a dick, i’m leaving.” you quickly grabbed your bag, making your way towards the door. you turned back halfway, catching him looking up at you with a devilish smirk before quickly looking back down.

“i’m serious, park; i'm leaving.” you spoke, unsuccessfully provoking a reaction from him, and you continued your walk to the door.

just as your hand met the cool handle of the big gray door, a hand landed on your wrist, stopping all attempts to escape.

“baby, i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you could hear jisung trying to hold back his laugh. his big hand came to cover his smirking lips, eyes wide, looking at your cold expression.

you dropped your hands, leaning against the door. “not funny," you mumbled, looking your boyfriend dead in the eyes while he continued to try and not laugh.

you pushed his chest harshly, growing annoyed at his little joke. “you think this is funny?” you yelled. he knew you were being dramatic, so he continued to laugh as you hit him repeatedly.

“baby, baby, stop!" he put his hands up to shield himself from your attempts to give him a piece of his own medicine, but still, you came out unsuccessful.

you huffed, staring at your boyfriend’s stupid smirk for the thousandth time. “for someone who begged to have me here today, you're making it really hard to want to hang out with you.” you spit, planting your hands on your hips to try and stand your ground.

his smirk quickly turned into a pout. “no, baby, i’m sorry really sorry. i was being stupid and trying to be funny.” he looped his hands between your arms to hold your waist as you tried to stay stiff as a board.

noticing the fight you tried to put up, jisung knew exactly how to get you to crumble. like earlier, he began kissing you all over, rubbing your hips, and raking his fingers in your hair.

you tried, you really did, but how could you when park jisung was kissing and touching you like that.

he mimicked his earlier actions, pulling away slightly looking at your lips. you were not about to let him have the upper hand; before he could say a word, you grabbed his neck and crashed his lips against yours.

he yelped in shock, making you smile at how you now had the upper hand, even if jisung towered over you in comparison.

you kissed him feverishly, tongue and all. he groaned as your hands pulled at his hair, his fingers tightening their grip on your hips. your lips felt so good against his, he nearly forgot how pissed you were at him only moments prior.

jisung’s hands continued to roam up your back and lower, backing your bodies to the couch. you nearly forgot your anger as well, melting into a puddle of need right beneath jisung’s feet.

snapping out of your daze, you pulled away swiftly, hitting his chest to knock him out of his trance and disconnect your bodies. “see you later, park.” you spun on your heels and quickly made your way out the door.

“what! baby, what?” he took after you as you ran down the hallway to escape.

let’s just say you didn’t get too far before jisung had you all to himself again. but you weren’t really complaining. not even a little bit.

 notes | FINALLY JISUNG YAAAAAAS he has infiltrating my brain recently lol. also, every single time he said “baby” in this i just thought ab THAT livestream where he said it 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 anywayssss i hope to write a halloween special sometime this weekend or maybe even two (tee hee) but thank you guys so so much for all the love!!!

[omghallucinations]

Bang Chan Chart Analysis: in the weeds edition

chart patterns, degrees, fixed stars, aspects, final dispositors, basically all kind of deeper cuts.

ah, bang chan: a double libra gemini rising whose other planets are acting up so much i barely even touched on venus and mercury somehow

like he's clearly an air sign in every respect--he loooOOOves to talk, he's curious and interested in a lot of different things, he's never met a secret he doesn't want to immediately tell five hundred thousand people on live... but damn some of those other planets (saturn, mars, jupiter, uranus) are loud.

right away i noticed his chart is a bucket chart--every planet is in one half of the circle, except for one planet who becomes the "handle": his aries saturn. saturn is hammering all the other planets on the head so to speak.

saturn: you'll have to come through me motherfuckers

saturn is screaming it's ME i'm the BIG BOSS and as the handle, a lot of things in chan's life are gonna be based on or deal with--for better or worse--saturn stuff (maturation, fear, control, authority, judgment). chan's saturn automatically rockets to the top of his Big Boss list (it will not stay here tho, we've got some other bosses coming).

saturn is in its fall in aries--it doesn't speak the language there. any planet in its fall is usually marked down in influence but i also think it makes the planet more important? chan has to struggle with it. a saturn at home in capricorn (barring other chart factors) is very natural. 8/9 members of girls generation have saturn in capricorn and wow does that make sense. saturn in capricorn prizes Work and is self-conscious/guilty of its feelings (feelings are not productive), it's alllways anxious it hasn't done enough, it is very scared of disappointing people, it's deeply conscious of societal conditioning.

aries is a weird sign for saturn to be in. saturn has a lot of fear, and aries has a lot of fearlessness. aries is a baby and saturn is all about maturation. aries is about acting without thinking, saturn is about making a list and checking it 5 times then deciding not to do it just in case.

and then. this is fun. saturn goes on the big boss list again because it is unaspected--this doesn't mean there aren't aspects, it means there are no major aspects to other planets. when a planet is unaspected, everyone around you can sure as fuck see the hell out of it, but you can't really. it's center stage but not in the play.

bang chan: i am the cutest, fuzziest lil libra guy :) i just care about my work which is normal :) and i express that care in a very reasonable and chill way :) i just want things to be good! :) everyone around him, shaking in fear from his scathing judgment and innate leadership aura: uh-huh

an unaspected planet is usually a generational thing--chan really popped up like hey girl :) i'm here to really personify our family problems of work, judgement, fear and maturation and just like. make 'em huge and unavoidable. haha. :)

chan's gonna show real extremes of behavior around his saturn, which

in aries seems like it's dealing with issues of creation, self-determination, doing it on my own, that kind of stuff (so he'll deny himself or assert himself too much in turns)

in the 11th house backs that up--the 11th is the aquarius house, so saturn is in aries (a "me" sign) in a "we" (in a sort of detached intellectual sense) house

11th/aquarius usually wants to set u free :) but in a kind of back-handed passy aggy harry styles way, like "i love you so i'll set you free, because i am such an open-minded person, unlike other people (who are tethered to humanity which is both embarrassing and scary to me yuck), also setting you free is less terrifying to me than being perceived :) go with god :) bye :)"

it's in the sun decan, so there's a flavor of "look at me look at me" and identity formation (am i what i produce?)

saturn's most exact aspect is sesquisquare mars which acts a lot like a square, my favorite aspect! squares get such a bad rap but i think they're so much better for your life in the long run bc they force you to deal with things. his mars is in sagittarius, so we have a double fire sign situation: explosive, passionate, loves attention and creation. mars, who also gets a bad rap, is our survival planet. it's like, how are you gonna survive this. how are you gonna get what you want and defend yourself and win (if you care about winning) (chan cares about winning).

sagittarius mars is gonna go forward kind of joyfully but also in a "fuck you lmao" way. it's courageous bc it doesn't really think anything could go actually wrong. it's gonna Leave if it's bored (and it's already bored). it's gonna wide-angle zoom on the situation and be like "lol embarrassing... for you" and feel 100% sure it's right All The Time. sesquisquare saturn tries to control this force, adds a bunch of fear and repression and Issues (and often in later life, wisdom), so -> chan's gonna really be afraid of his own anger, of losing control of his temper -> ironically he will be unable to stop bouncing between these two extremes to various degrees. u can't control what u can't accept my dude. -> he's also afraid of not being in power, of not winning -> the me/we extreme will also come into play--especially with his sun and moon in libra (that's their whole Thing) sagittarius says "i'm right for objective, philosophical reasons" and aries says "i'm right because i just am bro i don't have to explain myself to you" mars in the 6th house--that drive to assert himself is gonna really go hard at work and in his daily life. this is a #gymbro placement for sure. his daily routine is Let's Fuckin Go At 150% -> his 11th house (where saturn is), loves the idea of people, community, his ideals, is detached from humanity and it comes into conflict with -> his 6th house, which is very much of the world, very critical, very let's get actual shit done and be of service to people sidebar, mars is exactly conjunct the asteroid quaoar-- creation, making new rules and structures, diverging from how things Have Always Been Done, please hold this thought for his uranus, coming up soon

libra moon at 29 degrees: heard u were desperately trying to maintain equilibrium for emotional security reasons lol

another planet i'm eyeing is his libra moon which is in the anaretic degree, 29. he's very good at this energy but it's gonna test him. with his libra moon he needs contact and dialogue with people to feel secure but it can't get too deep because that's gonna freak him out. he is super comfortable being vulnerable and emotional on the internet because the internet is not real. i mean it's real, but it doesn't feel real. it's the equivalent of over-intellecualising your feelings so you don't actually feel anything (which an air moon always enjoys, as a hobby). just like it's way easier and less scary to be in love with an idea of a person, rather than the actual person! the actual person can really fuck up ur moodboard!

chan needs things to be pretty, equal, even-keeled. libra is such a funny sign because often it gets flattened to this like "cutey pie flirt" stereotype which i would say is almost exclusively libra venus. libra is a cardinal sign--an acting, initiating sign--and can be a lot more controlling than it likes to pretend imo. it's also in his sixth house--he's gonna feel safe when he can be of service to others, when he can get things done, when he can edit shit, basically.

he's also a new moon baby, which gives a moon a fun, aries-y, baby-tries-(food)-for-the-first-time vibe. removes a lot of those libra inhibitions and adds a lot of need to feel special.

chan is so good at making sure he feels safe by trying to keep everything cute and not too deep and staying on the surface or removed from the situation through constant activity and like, pruning everything, trying to perfect everything (therefore not having to actually deal with anything). howmstever, this system is gonna repeatedly implode throughout his life. soz bud. his emotional foundation's gonna get pummeled on and off which sucks because he has an almost manic need

for emotional safety through strategic diplomacy and avoiding confrontation

for emotional safety through constant work and "perfecting" everything

for people to like him everyone needs to like him or he will die

(not the real him, that makes him nervous, the projection of him that he painstakingly curates, that is safer)

it's not especially fun to deal with.

bright side, wisdom in later life!

mercury, ruler of chan's ascendant: pretty much exactly what you'd expect?

as a gemini rising, chan's ruler is his mercury in libra in the 5th but ironically i don't feel like she's as major of a player as some of these other planets. you can see the communication and curiosity focus of his life, and in the 5th house of self-expression, creation. mercury is sextile mars and pluto, a talent for making his voice heard and powerful, trine uranus in the 9th he's confident about and believes in his unique voice/perspective.

like mercury is there and she's important, but she's not like. causing big waves? it's like his life direction, again, important, but i'm more intrigued by...

mars conjunct pluto opposite his ascendant: oh boy!

this is his one big opposition and it's on the gemini-sagittarius axis (my fave, she's just fun and curious, she's not super dramatic or that difficult although she doesn't exactly make it easy to make... decisions... or get anything done?). however if we were worried about getting shit done, mars and pluto are here to scream. mars conjunct pluto is exactly as dramatic as sagittarius-gemini is not.

this is an exact conjunction and it's wild. anything pluto touches blows up in a way. it makes it intense and secretive and adds the planet to its portfolio of unconscious past life soul security demands.

lmao i just realized that red lights is fully this conjunction lmao oh no. i don't know if i can talk about this conjunction normally. it's very... ... nsfw.

sometimes pluto conjunct mars forces mars into the background and makes the person afraid to assert themselves, but i don't think that's exactly the vibe here, although it's similar. it looks to me like chan has a lot of rage and anger in him that, with his libra placements, he probably has a very difficult time acknowledging or facing. he'll easily internalize it and turn it inward and be a real asshole to himself, and also his temper will flare up randomly and he'll go for the kill shot when he meant to communicate like a normal person. he has a lot of strong desires, he also wants power, but he's gonna hide it and run from the reality there. he does have almost inhuman will, courage and drive tho, he can truly endure anything.

(idk i think he should be a little worried about his physical body, so many of his coping mechanisms depend on exercise/endurance and with pluto--transformation, security--in the sixth house i worry his health might force transformation? ur body can't carry all of ur unspoken shit my bud?)

gemini rising wants to seem very fun, very friendly, very cute, but with mars and pluto on his descendant chan is almost hiding or ignoring a huge part of himself--all those darker impulses which aren't going anywhere. my guy loves a taboo and (redacted redacted redacted redacted REDACTEDDDD). whatever, it's good for creativity and in sagittarius he has a good sense of humor about it.

jupiter: uno reverso???

damn chan really got #blessed here, a lot of that chart was really screaming Issues, Internalized Rage, Fear, Depression, etc, but jupiter really bounced up to be like "never mind haha. i mean yeah, true, but also whatever"

first of all jupiter is in its home house, the 9th--chan's on a Journey, he's eat pray loving, he's Listening and Learning--and it's in aquarius, so that belief system and personal philosophy is gonna be very open-minded, very science fiction, very predicting trends, very ahead of society.

jupiter conjunct his MC: this is what pulls jupiter up to the big boss list. anything conjunct your MC is at the top of your chart--people see it. people notice it about you. and goddamn are people just gonna give him stuff. and they always have. no wonder jyp was like This Is My Special Boy, like that is jupiter conjunct MC to a t.

(the public perception of chan is also gonna be a lot... cuter and more exuberant and fun than the actual man. not that he's not those things. just that the jupiter of his personality is really what people are noticing about him from the outside: his personal vision, his expansive side, all that. they are not looking at that prominent saturn as much, even if saturn is a bigger player)

jupiter trine the sun: another one where people are just gonna like you. for one thing they'll notice chan's good intentions and generosity--altho they will also notice his tendency to moralise and be a liiiiittle condescending--but his tendency towards bouncy optimism (at least outwardly) makes people want to follow him aquarius jupiter trine libra sun: two "we" signs in a big way, except aquarius is "we" like "humanity" and libra is "we" like "you and me", but they unite in a tendency to conflate the personal identity with the group identity--with jupiter and the sun at play it's like chan is able to bring people on board with his identity and personal vision (but he often presents an idealised version of himself who does not have needs, somehow) 9th house trine 5th house: basically a repeat of jupiter-sun, since the 5th house is the leo house--chan has a talent for using his personal philosophy/vision in creative works

our final big boss of the night, perhaps the ultimate big boss: aquarius uranus

chan's aquarius uranus is really talking to everybody. it has by far the most aspects of any planet. uranus has its hand in his ascendant and every planet except jupiter and neptune. with modern rulers aquarius is at home in uranus, and i'm coming around a little bit on modern rulership even if i think it tends to be less prominent than traditional. still:

aquarius uranus: original thought, technological progress, your box is dumb i'm not going in there uranus in the 9th house: he's gonna have an offbeat belief system--no chance he buys into korea's societal norms, or anyone's societal norms for that matter. he's not a conformist. trine his gemini ascendant: whooooo boy he is really not a conformist. when he's not in a Mood he's not judgmental at all, even when he's in a mood he has a real benevolent Ah, Humanity Should All Be Free to Pursue Happiness vibe. gemini couldn't give a shit about morals, and uranus and aquarius think morals are bourgeois. he has a talent for his own difference--some uranus people (like most of ateez, my weirdo darlings) have chips on their shoulders about being different, but chan with his easy trine is just happy to be himself. i mean a trine uranus isn't gonna change the world (unlike harder aspects like squares, who would be more driven to do so) but he is gonna set a good example just through his identity.

this is a fun side of chan! i like this!

square moon: mmmm ok about that chip on his shoulder. although it's not really about being different--it's more about he both wants to be stable and emotionally secure and also free and independent and he's soooooooo fucking stubborn (but he doesn't see it that way because he's Right, not stubborn). he's prone to feeling really itchy and stuck and then making big changes out of nowhere. also he's very intuitive but overly sensitive and when he's hurt he's gonna shut down completely and not tell the person what they did wrong. didn't he give someone the silent treatment? jisung? yeah that's uranus square moon energy. he has a lot of fear around his emotions and only lets himself feel in short sharp bursts. he feels hurt and he cuts out the person immediately without warning to protect himself--even if it's completely illogical he will dupe himself into believing it is very logical and correct, actually libra moon square aquarius uranus: yeah this looks like a "keep the peace even if it is unhealthy" v. "radical change out of nowhere the tower ass" argument, he'll bounce between the two extremes again. heyyy gemini rising i didn't even see u there!!

man. really haven't gotten into everything including his sun in libra (in its fall), his nodes (classic idol 5th-11th axis, soooo many of them have this), etc, but i've been working on this for so long!! aughhH!!

ok drumroll please, let's gather up his chart big players!! normally i would rank these, but i keep changing my mind.

aquarius uranus

aquarius jupiter

sagittarius mars-pluto conjunction

aries saturn

libra mercury (2nd to lastish)

libra moon (definitely last on this list)

tentatively i'm gonna put uranus-jupiter tied at 1, then mars-pluto then saturn then mercury. ugh i don't know though. they're all big players! chan in general has one of those spread-out charts--when you look at the ruler of each planet, he has what's called a "committee" tree

where there isn't one or two final bosses, and the planets are all connected in one tree rather than being separate. you can see how chan's 3 top planets are sag mars, aquarius jupiter and aries saturn--they all work together and are super interconnected. he's not as single-minded as someone with a singular dispositor (ateez hongjoong has a singular final dispositor tree with his pisces jupiter) but also not as split or conflicted as someone who has split trees (ateez seonghwa has a planet in rulership tree with separate parts).

anyway this has been really interesting! for someone with what seems at first glance to be a very unified chart (air moon, air sun, air rising) he has some interesting conflicting energies--altho i'm sure he sees himself as just an air person. i'm sure he is lowkey aware of that mars and pluto conjunction but i'd bet he really pretends he does not see it (except for in REDACTED REDACTED EXTREMELY REDACTED situations), and he truly cannot see his saturn at all (altho everyone else can!).

[bitchin-tubs]

did you see the dumpster fire that is the angel dust poison music video LOL

this was from a few days ago and omg already saw the 4 episodes and that last one was just something alright... I think I wouldn't be so disgusted if the abuse wasn't so graphically shown throughout the scene and simply knowing the rapeshipper storyboarded for the episode makes you wonder if it was done out of a real concern for awareness and not canon material for themselves.

I mean this got the message across pretty well.

It was gross seeing Angel being forced into the kiss and the flash at the end with Val behind him was more than enough. But then you have Angel being actually assaulted on screen and it's not only disturbing but also gave me tonal whiplash like this show really hasn't been mature enough to be handling it this way ("call me dickmaster"...), especially later with Husk who doesn't actually comfort or reassure him at all. I mean he drops the big secret and then they get to bond over a song and a fight like ?

Also something that irked me about Husk being apparently so bothered by Angel being fake which is a shame since he did have a point about Angel playing a facade but as always the pace leaves more to be desired. We never see Husk actually come to the conclusion that Angel is exaggerating his identity he just sniffed it out of the air somehow. It would've been cool to see previous scenes of Angel coming to the bar from work too exhausted to act and let Husk see him being real, even if he doesn’t remember himself from getting black out drunk but fuck building a narrative I guess

I actually liked Angel's breakdown that was an ugly and desperate side to him we hadn’t seen in a long time

But having Vaggie scold Husk into fetching him instead of him at least feeling bad he made him run off is so yuck like the ship is so stale it’s being prodded with tweezers. I PERSONALLY believe the episode could’ve been used to develop Angel and Charlie’s friendship instead of her turning into a child at the end (Charlie and her royal demon status being ignored by the plot making my teeth grind btw) but I forget Viv doesn’t like it when her characters exist without their partners

But honestly, I am kinda happy that since Hazbin is a lot more mainstream Viv is starting to receive actual criticism and unfiltered disgusted reactions from the general public instead of the usual yesman feedback

[ellethespaceunicorn]

The Howling of Claw Creek Forest, Chapter One

Chapter One: Hide and Seek 

Rating: Mature, 18+, Minors - DNI 

Pairing: Werewolf!Walter Marshall x Reader 

Word Count: 2.7K 

Series Summary: You live in a small town called Claw Creek, surrounded by a deep, dark forest. Since you were a kid, an urban legend of the creature in the woods has been told. If the distant howls at night and mutilated livestock are anything to go by, you fear the stories to be true. 

Chapter Summary: After a curfew is set in place, you and your best friend sneak out past the town border for a drunken game of hide and seek. What could go wrong? 

Warnings: drinking, peril, mention of blood 

A/N: A special thank you to @peyton-warren for being my lovely beta and soundboard for this.  

Dividers by me 

Support/Reblog banner by me 

Cover Art by me 

Series Masterlist 

My Masterlist 

“C’mon, girl. You need to get out of the house for more than just work and the coffee shop. Look, we’ll even stay in town. Just please don’t make me stay in and watch The Great British Bake Off again. Paul Hollywood’s eyes still haunt my dreams.” Your best friend drapes herself against the couch in a dramatic show of boredom. 

“Liv, you’re the one that agreed to wine and TV. So, what? You wanna hit the bar now?” You guess, sitting on the arm of the couch. 

“Yuck. No way. I was thinking of something much more exciting. But you gotta agree to it before we go. That’s the deal.” She props her head up on her fists, while she lays on her stomach, letting her feet swing in the air back and forth. As innocent as she looks, you knew better. 

But then again, you could always go for a little adventure.  

And that is how you ended up in a clearing in Claw Creek Forest with Olivia, a heart full of optimism, and a six-pack of Jack Daniels Watermelon Punch. By the time you are halfway done with your second bottle, the sounds of the night are almost calming. Crickets are chirping, owls are hooting, and leaves are rustling in the light wind that tickles your neck. 

You’re downing the rest of your drink and looking up into the sky when Liv suddenly stands up with a look that can only mean one thing. She’s got a terrible idea that she thinks is genius. 

You decide to stop her before she even starts, “Girl, whatever idea just popped into your head after two wine coolers is not gonna be as brilliant as you think it is. Just say it so I can turn it down.” You twist off the top of your third bottle and look up at the defeated face of your best friend. 

“Damn, way to try and spoil all the fun. I just wanted to have a chugging contest.” She sits down on the fallen log next to you and grabs the last bottle from the cardboard pack. She twists off the top and you nudge her with your elbow before winking at her. 

You smile at each other before bringing your bottles to your lips. The rush of the bubbly drinks makes you both stop every few sips to breathe and burp a little. But in the end, you finish your bottle first and shoot up off the log to slam down your empty bottle. 

The moment you are upright, the blood rushes to your head and you instantly feel ten times more drunk. A few seconds later, you feel like you even out and you can hear Liv’s laughing as she falls backward off the log and her drink goes flying. You crumple to the ground, laughing your ass off, until she pops up over the log with a small scowl on her face. 

“Oh, you think that’s funny, huh?” She stands up and brushes off her pants before picking up her now empty bottle along with yours. Her little attitude is adorable, but you don’t dare say that. As she walks past you, she doesn’t look at you. 

“Olivia, don’t be like that. Come on, girl. We’re having a good time! I don’t want it to end. Please?” You’re not too proud to beg, and she’s not the only one who can pout charmingly. 

When she turns around, the first thing she does is look at your pout and scoff, “OK, fine. But I’m only staying if we play a game of hide and seek. It’s spooky season, after all. Well, technically, in my head it’s always spooky season, but you get it.”  

“You wanna play hide and seek...in the woods...in the dead of night...drunk?” You hoped there was enough moonlight so that she could see the incredulous look on your face. 

Wiggling her eyebrows, Liv bites her bottom lip and says, “All of those things together are so perfect. We’re drunk. It’s nighttime. Spoo-ooky woods all around. Come on, babe, the kid versions of us would be so proud to say we weren’t too scared to play hide and seek as adults with barely any wits about us.” As soon as she finishes speaking, the cutest little hiccup escapes her, and you can’t help but laugh and shake your head. 

“Fine! But I’m hiding first. Count to 30 so my drunk ass can find a good spot around here. And don’t cheat, Liv!” You direct her to face a tree and cover her eyes so she cannot sneak a peek at where you are going. You also make her count loudly so that she can barely hear your footsteps crunching over the leaves. 

Even drunk, you are surprised you can think of all that. You back up slowly, turning around to run in a full sprint in the opposite direction. When the tree cover blocks out the light of the moon, you slow down and pull out your phone to use the flashlight to light up your way. 

You don’t know if you got very far in 30 seconds or if Liv just stopped counting, but you can’t hear her anymore. You turn off your flashlight so she can’t use that to find you. You tip-toe forward in case she has gotten closer to you. You find a tree with large roots above ground and decide to try and hide in the little alcove it is shaped into. 

But something catches your eye. At first, you think someone is shining a flashlight or something a bit away from you. But flashlights don’t usually blink, do they? But if you can remember correctly, you’ve seen those glowing yellow eyes before.  

And now they were slowly moving toward you. The glow of the moon illuminated dark fur covering pointed ears and a muzzle that only hid its teeth for a moment. As those fangs came into view, a billow of hot breath turned into a smoke cloud in the frigid night air. The sudden huff of the beast made you realize you weren’t moving. You were standing stock-still while an imposing wolf thought about making you into its dinner.  

Turning on a dime, you begin to run further into the forest. Not looking where you were going, you didn’t see the pile of rocks in your path. Your right foot slips, and you fall face-first onto the unyielding ground. You grunt as your head connects with a sharp stone. Your head starts to swim as you try to lift yourself to continue running, another huff directly behind you scares you enough to flip over onto your back.  

Ringing starts in your ears, and you suddenly feel light-headed. You start to hyperventilate as the wolf comes closer. As tunnel vision closes in, you think you hear it whine softly. The last thing you feel is a wet snout against your temple and then nothingness. 

What was once the sensation of cold wetness is replaced by warmth as you start to regain consciousness. You reach a hand up to your forehead and feel a wet cloth being pressed against your temple. When your hand touches what is holding it there, your eyes shoot open, and you try and scuttle away.  

A firm hand grips your shoulder, and you find it hard to move. Turning your head slowly, you first look at the hand that holds you down. Thick fingers clutch your joint tightly, and the connected veiny forearm is covered in a smattering of dark chocolate hair. Even under an old woolen sweater, you can see the outline of a sizable bicep. The broad chest breathing heavily under that sweater triggers the onset of hyperventilation until the hand that was holding your shoulder moves away. 

When a warm palm touches your jaw, your eyes threaten to close. But when a thumb brushes your cheek, you finally lock eyes with...an angel? 

You can’t tell if the dimly lit room you are in is fuzzy or if you have a concussion. But if you were a betting person, your money would be on head trauma. Because there was no way he positioned himself in front of a light to have a slight glow about him. Maybe that just works like that? 

Deep cocoa brown curls are about ear-length on his head, but a few unruly strands are hanging above his slightly raised brow. Concerned aquamarine eyes with a touch of brown in the left iris aren’t enough to hide the growing bags under them. A strong nose sits in the center of his face. And a small, yet inviting, mouth is outlined by a dark beard speckled with a few greys here and there. 

“...best you lie back down.” The stranger speaks and you only catch the last bit of it because you were looking at his pretty face. 

“I...,” You start, your hoarse voice causing you to clear your throat, “I’m sorry, what did you say?” 

“I said, it’s probably best you lie back down. You’ve got quite a lump on your head. If I hadn’t found you when I did, who knows what could have happened?” With one hand grabbing for the warm compress, his other hand guides you back down to lay your head on a soft pillow. 

“Found me? Was there a wolf near me? He was huge and he chased after me and then I slipped and hit my head. And where am I? Where are we right now? Who are you? I need to get back to my friend.” Your words exit your mouth hastily as if you are in a rush to get the hell out of...wherever this is. 

“Try and stay calm. Yes, I found you not far from the trail. I didn’t see a wolf anywhere, though,” He pauses quickly, but picks right back up where he left off, “Ehm, my name is Walter. Walter Marshall. We’re in my cabin, just outside of Claw Creek. I didn’t see your friend anywhere but, as soon as this swelling goes down a bit, I can take you into town.” Walter speaks clearly and smoothly, his voice is dark yet pacifying, but it’s obvious that he doesn’t enjoy talking.  

“I guess I should give you my name,” You rattle off your name, and Walter nods, “I’d like to say it’s nice to meet you, Walter. But considering the circumstances of our meeting, this could have gone a lot differently. Not the way I hoped to end the night.” You laugh, mostly to yourself. 

“I should hope not. When I found you, you were still bleeding a bit. I was able to stitch you up and get you cleaned up. But I’d probably go and see a doctor first thing in the morning.” Walter suggests in a strong tone. 

“Thank you, Walter. I hate to think what would’ve happened to me had you not shown up when you did.” Your bottom lip quivers as you think the worst. 

“Hey. You’re stronger than you think. And the swelling has gone down some. Why don’t we get you back to town where you can get more rest?” Walter pats your shoulder and gets up from the chair he was sitting in. 

Your eyes follow him as he moves about the cabin. You realize that you hadn’t looked around before, so focused on him previously. It’s a nice, cozy place. Full of warm, rich colors and various little knickknacks on shelves. It lacks a woman’s touch, so to speak, what with all the antlers and not enough candles to cover the smell of a man. However, it suits the man who lives here. 

Grabbing a set of keys, Walter comes back to where you lay on the couch in the center of the room. He gently and slowly helps you up and off the soft furniture and guides you to his truck parked outside. He helps you into the passenger side, shutting the door when you’re seated, and walks around the front to get in the driver’s side. Turning the key in the ignition, the truck rumbles to life and you are on your way home. 

You’re rubbing your hands together and shoving them into your coat pockets before Walter gets the hint to turn on the heat. It’s only a couple of minutes before it is warm enough to be comfortable.  

The drive down the tree-lined road is mostly silent, save for the low music playing on the radio. Walter points out where he found you and you almost can’t believe you made it that far on foot when you reach the edge of town. But you were drunkenly competitive, so you had your eyes on the prize. 

Once you make it to town, you pass a curfew checkpoint and Walter supplies the officer with a story about how you two lost track of time while out of town. You thank him for the cover and direct him to stop at Olivia’s house to make sure she got home safely. Of course, you told him it was your place, and that Liv was your roommate. 

As handsome as he was, serial killers come in all shapes and sizes and no way were you giving this man your actual address. You’d apologize to Liv later. 

Once he stopped outside of her house, you went to unbuckle yourself and thank Walter for all his help. Protocol for this type of situation eluded you, so when you went for the door handle, you weren’t expecting his voice to stop you. 

“Do me a favor and be careful from now on. No more late-night drinking in the forest. It can be a dangerous place." His calm smile brings out the most adorable dimples and you resist the urge to poke them. 

“I promise. Scout’s honor. No more drunk forest parties. Thank you again for everything.” You place your hand on his arm and squeeze before exiting the truck and waving as you walk up the pathway to Liv’s house. 

The light on the porch turns on and your best friend rushes out and hugs you tightly, bringing you in from the cold as Walter drives off into the night. Once you are in the warmth of her home, she takes your coat and prepares you a cup of tea. She asks who brought you home and you tell her about your ordeal. 

When she asked if he was cute, you shouldn’t have been surprised but you still giggled bashfully. She also playfully swats you when you mention that you didn’t get his number. But that’s fine because at least you have his name.  

Once she deems you safe enough to be on your own, she drives you the few streets over to your home and has you promise to call her in the morning. You take off your boots at the door, remove your coat, and start to sling it over the back of one of your dining room chairs. As you look closer at your coat, you make a note to take it to the cleaners tomorrow. 

You survey the coat for any damage to the fabric and thankfully it just looks a bit dirty. You begin to wipe it with your hand and notice that it’s not all dirt on the coat. You can’t be sure, but if you had to guess what was on the sleeve and collar of the coat, you would say it was dog hair. 

Coarse, short dark-colored hairs that when you hold them under a lamp look to be an inky brown. You try and stop yourself from jumping to conclusions, but it is almost impossible not to do that very thing. If these truly were what you thought they were, that means that you didn’t hallucinate that giant wolf. He was there with you, and he didn’t eat you. 

You decided to get to the bottom of this. You’d schedule a check-up with your doctor in the morning. And after that, you would go back into the woods.  

In search of the wolf? Possibly. In search of the truth? Definitely. 

There was only one place to start. At Walter Marshall’s front door. 

To be continued... 

A/N: Walter is finally in the story!! Yay. I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter.

**Tag List** 

@deandoesthingstome @cakesandtom @brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67 @thabiddie23 @sweetandgentlecreature @foxyjwls007 @art2emily @titty-teetee @astheskycries @enchantedbytomandhenry @rebelangel1102 @milknhonies @peyton-warren @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @cardierreh15 @viking-raider @imaslutforcuddles @ilovetaquitosmmmm @warriormirkwood @shellyshellshell @calwitch @meanlilbean @samahenoyrhye 

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁 

[writing-for-life]

Right, okay, I’ve thought long and hard whether to write this:

A squick (even a strong one) is not the same as a trigger.

Emotional discomfort, even emotional discomfort that leads to low-level physical symptoms like e.g. mild nausea, is not trauma. Unfortunately, TikTok pop psych has done nothing to help people understand the difference, because the trend to perceive (even strong) emotional discomfort as equivalent to a trauma response is worrying and neither helps people with nor without PTSD. I don’t wish it on anyone to actually find out the difference if they haven’t yet (disclaimer, since this is unfortunately necessary these days because everything gets misconstrued: I am not talking about individual experiences, because only you can know about those. I’m talking about wider trends in an often young audience with not enough background info to be able to tell apart sound medical/psychological info and viral BS created by “influencers” for some kind of personal gain).

What people in the current fandom spat want to have tagged as “triggers” are overwhelmingly squicks. And we’re probably all guilty of quickly saying “that triggered me”, myself included (and I’m a licensed psychotherapist, shame on me). It has become somewhat of a shorthand for “extremely annoyed or grossed out”. But when it gets used in the context of tagging, it’s good to remember that no one owes us a tag list the length of our arm just because we don’t like certain things. Even if we strongly dislike them.

And even on the occasion someone else’s yuck or yum is an actual trigger for us, it is impossible to cover for every possible trigger, because in theory, EVERYTHING has the possibility to trigger someone somewhere.

E.g., a certain smell in a supermarket holds the rare possibility of triggering someone, but do you see disclaimers at the supermarket door that say, “May smell of 484 different things, which are in detail [list of 484 things] and might be different tomorrow. Plus, we might have a customer today who smells of that perfume that brings up your triggering childhood memories. Or maybe we won’t, but just on the odd chance we do, we thought we’d rather cover it”.

There might be one person with a very specific trigger that does literally nothing to the vast majority of people. Do we expect everyone on Tumblr to tag for “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” because of that? How about that person just puts “eyebrows” or “white T-Shirt” in their content filter instead?

Do we really suggest to put that type of responsibility on creators? More importantly: Who are we protecting that way? All we do is put people into bubble wrap and shift responsibility for our mental wellbeing away from ourselves to others.

We are trying to tell other people what to do for our own comfort. That’s controlling.

If we’re squicked out by something, there is a simple solution: we can stop looking or reading. We can use content (not tag) filters. In the worst case, we can block. We don’t have to put that type of responsibility for our personal sensitivities on creators (or people who reblog, for that matter).

We can tag for certain things as a courtesy, I’m all for it. I love being able to filter out stuff I’m not into, and I sometimes wish people would tag better or not tag a certain way (getting ship tags for a ship you’re not into slapped on your character-metas is annoying 🤣). But I don’t die, neither does it cause me unbearable distress, if I see cows where I don’t expect them. Scroll past or block. And if I’m worried about mature topics like nudity or violence: Tumblr has a community label for mature themes you can (and in my view should) use if in doubt. Funnily enough, many people don’t do that though—maybe because they worry about reach?

Of course we should include content warnings where they are due, no one says we shouldn’t. It’s also fair if a creator doesn’t wish to do that beyond general warnings (no specifics) though because they might give away, say, major plot points that way. In that case, general disclaimers like “contains depictions of violence”, or whatever it might be individually, are a good idea. And if that’s not specific enough for us despite knowing that “violence” in general might also contain our personal trigger, we might need to make the decision not to read it to stay safe, but we shouldn’t have a go at the writer for not tagging very specific things that might be considered spoilers.

Long story short: If we assume people are “triggered” by werewolves with vulvas or non-human characters, it might be worth thinking about whether we’re just talking about squicks that very much fall into the category of “personal responsibility”. And there are plenty solutions to that at our end—we don’t need to put that on creators…

[himimosa]

oh no, mutt!

"Don't look at me with those eyes. Your face might work on that short snail called Chuuya, but it won't work on me, nope. We both know you are disguised as a poor puppy, but you are nothing more than a stray dog in the end-"

"Dazai, what are you doing?"

He raised his head to you. He was sitting at the entrance door of Ada. When you got closer, you noticed the little fluff ball near his legs...

"Is that.. is that a puppy?"

"Not you too Y/N! This little mutt possessed everyone in the Ada! Brats are feeding it every day, Yosano-sensei treated it and Kunikida took him to the vet for vaccines! Hell, even the most cat person in this city, the president loves this little creature!"

You ignored him and crouched down to the ground, right next to Dazai "Hi there... Oh my god, aren't you the cutest?..." You slowly held your hand to see its reaction. The little pup seemed domestic, it started to rub its little head towards your hand. When you get permission, you started to scratch his head gently. You felt that like your heart was melting..

"Yuck!... I can't believe how you betrayed me out of all people Y/N..." Dazai sighed dramatically and headed for the stairs. Then he made a sudden turn: "If that mutt gets used to this place because of you, it will be either me or it that will have to leave the Ada!"

The pup stayed in the end, and of course Dazai too...

The little one was able to manage to capture everyone's heart. Nobody was afraid or disgusted (except Dazai) when it headed for the stairs and started to hang around in the office. It kinda became a mascot of the office... Naomi offered to name it "Pochi" and said it was the name of another cute pet from an anime. When "Pochi" was approved, it was now officially Ada's pet.

Pochi was so smart and loveable. (According to Ranpo, he was smarter than an average person) He knew the times when he could play with Ada members as he knew the times when things get serious. At times like this, he would sit quietly without bothering anyone (Kunikida has said Pochi was more mature than Dazai at these times) Sometimes he was accompanying the person on field search with their task too... Younger ones like Atsushi, Kyoka, Kenji, and Tanizaki siblings were mostly responsible for taking care of him, but no one would mind feeding him or having a walk with him. Except for one person...

"You should give Pochi a chance," you said on a lunch break. "He is one of us now, and I am sure Pochi wants to get along with you too..."

Dazai looked at you with both horror and disgust "Y/N-chan... Could you not talk about the mutt like it is an actual person?... I swear everyone is acting like they got bewitched by it..."

You didn't stop: "If you try to talk with him even once, you will see he is something else... Pochi listens to us like he actually understands"

"Nonsense..." Dazai scoffed "I would prefer to send a voicemail to Chuuya if I ever want a dog's listening to me..."

It was a usual night for Yokohama. Everyone had left the office after they were done with their tasks. You refilled Pochi's water and food pots for the night, he was staying in the office at nights. When you were about to leave the office you suddenly realized Dazai was still at his desk..

You blinked a few times. If Kunikida saw this, he would probably shed happy tears... It was not a usual sight to see Dazai's still working.

"Dazai I am leaving the office now... Are you coming too, or should I leave the office to you for locking the doors before leaving?"

"Ah, it's okay Y/N-chan... I will probably stay in here tonight, so you can go ahead, don't worry..."

You hesitated for a moment "Are you sure?.."

Dazai smiled "Yeap, good night, see you tomorrow..."

You were still not sure about leaving him alone... His smile seemed so fake just now, and you had a feeling like Dazai was not okay at that moment. But thinking that he was trying to send you, prevented you from doing anything. You didn't want to cross your boundaries. He probably needed some alone time...

"Okay then.. see you later, good night~"

When you left, Dazai sighed. And he brought out some sake bottles from his closet before heading to the roof...

The roof was so calm and peaceful in these hours... You could see the bright lights from all around the city. There were hundreds of lights and buildings, the most majestic one's Dazai's ex-workplace... This city was ugly yet beautiful at the same time... You could watch the people hurrying somewhere from the roof, you could hear faint conversations and laughter, you could observe their lives... When he found somewhere to sit comfortably, he filled a glass, then he looked at the stars before raising his glass "To you, my friend..."

Today was his death anniversary. Dazai was used to the pain that comes after the lost one, but for some reason, this year was harder than before. He was missing his best friend more than ever now...

He drank and drank until the point he started feeling a little light-headed. He was reaching out for the 3rd bottle when he noticed Pochi had been watching him quietly from the door...

"Is it you mutt? What do you want?... Doesn't matter, because I won't get up to give it anyways..." He tried to open the bottle, but his hands were trembling.

"Damn it..." he murmured. He tried a few more times but when it started to hurt his fingers, he gave up in frustration. Once he raised his head, he realized Pochi was still watching him, only closer this time...

"Listen dog... I am not in a good mood. I was trying to prepare for having a monolog with my dead best friend... If you excuse me, I don't want any listeners beside me..."

Pochi looked at him. At that moment, Dazai realized the dog was different than usual. Usually, the dog had this cheerful, loud attitude, it would look like it was smiling and move its tail fastly (too much to his disliking, he was thinking it was annoying) But now it was listening to him with ears dropped, the tail's not moving... And its eyes were like... it understood him...

"... Do you really understand what I am saying?" he asked, then he continued "..As if... It wouldn't be possible for a shrimp-sized brain like yours would be able to understand the complexity of human emotions.. Hell even I don't understand why I am feeling this-" he stopped for a second because his voice was trembling. "-these feelings... I just don't understand and..."

He felt tears were about to come but he bit his lips hard. He hated crying, and he had never cried for Odasaku since the day he died...

Pochi slowly moved towards him. Dazai didn't try to push him away for the first time. He watched as Pochi slowly approached. Pochi stopped near to his knees, didn't come closer. Instead, he put his little head on top of Dazai's knee. And just stood there...

Dazai couldn't remember how much he cried and talked about his dead friend with a dog that night... But when he woke up in the morning and saw Pochi sleeping in his lap peacefully, he didn't dare to remove him.

He didn't want to think about you guys reaction once you found out. Instead, he took his phone out and sent a picture with the caption: "Pipsqueak, look at him carefully and learn how to act as a good boy :p"

Notes:

I have never had a dog, but I had a cat. She was my baby, my little angel... And she used to do this thing like Pochi, she would knew it whenever I was too depressed, and sit with me until I feel better... This was mostly for her memory, reast in peace my angel ♡

[sleepstxtic]

Fluff Fest: Dead Pigeon Edition - Masterlist

@maesterchill and I bring to you the masterlist of works from the Fluff Fest: Dead Pigeon Edition! All 22 works are 2k or under (with the exception of our multi-chaptered fics). You can find them below! Thank you so much for following along <3

Hungry Face by @themiddleofwonderland | Explicit Draco's been at the cottage for a week.

Asphalt and Asphodel by @jtimu | Mature Harry and Draco take a road trip.

Spellbound by @wolfpants | Explicit Draco Malfoy's crime ring have captured the one asset they know will get Harry Potter's attention: his son, Albus. With their location in France no longer untraceable, Draco must move Albus to the next safehouse. They're alone, in a shitty Muggle car in the middle of the European countryside, and the tension is about to hit its crest.

Camp Crystal Wood by @leahrocky | Explicit Harry is hired to be a camp counselor at the newly reopened Camp Crystal Wood alongside his very best friends. When he finds out Draco Malfoy will be there as well, he knows he's in for a boatload of trouble.

Carnivorous Plants and What to Feed Them by DrPansyParkinson | Mature Neville Longbottom's too busy at work to find a girl to date, but when the perfect witch walks through his grandmother's flower shop doors, he'll stop at nothing to dance with her.

bad omen, right? by @maesterchill | Explicit George Weasley is a busy man.Busy managing a very successful joke shop, and a moderately successful social life, and a less-than-successful sobriety issue. Certainly far too busy to spare a single thought for something as everyday as his talking mirror. So, it's only when his girlfriend Angelina is helping him decide what to wear for his fortieth birthday party that evening that he finally sees it. A glimpse of his long-dead brother, silent and unspeaking. Which, as all wizards know, can't be a good omen.

Soft Love by @just-a-whorecrux | Explicit Albus has the best birthday ever. 😌🧸

Waters of the Womb by @annanother-thing | Explicit Two decades is too long, and Ginny is finally free from the girl in the mirror.

Garden Scene by CreepingMyrtle | Mature   Narcissa welcomes Lucius home from Azkaban. It’s a warm night, not yet dark, and, as he speaks, her heart collapses inward on itself until it is as hard and dense as a hagstone, calcified around its gaping hole. She thinks she will perhaps never cry again. “Yes, darling,” she says, and “Here, there’s something I’ve been wanting to show you.” She summons his favorite robe. She leads him to the garden.

A Drowned Man by @apricitydays-lazynights | Mature Is there anything in this world more restorative than a bubble bath?

Mushroom Hunting by @apricitydays-lazynights | Mature Ollivanders wands are crafted with only the finest materials, proudly sourced locally using sustainable practices.

A Soft, Low Strain by @dodgerkedavra | Explicit Harry can’t help that it feels so good.

poison every little thing by veradubhghoill | Explicit “Yuck,” Draco says in a tone of such vehemence that Harry feels a sudden, violent pang of longing for the Draco Malfoy he’d known in Hogwarts.

Aged unto perfection by @maesterchill | Mature Draco and Harry enjoy a tipple together on their honeymoon.

Hold me like water by @uncannycerulean | Mature After the war, Draco starts frequenting bookshops all over London, not knowing what he is looking for. Until he finds Harry, who is looking for something, too.

This Messiah Needs Watching by @themiddleofwonderland | Explicit The baby comes the day after Draco's birthday.

The Dancing Hours by @dodgerkedavra | Explicit Harry begged. Draco couldn't say no.

His Ghost by @sleepstxtic | Mature “I saw his ghost," Hermione says.

Bridal Rose by @dodgerkedavra | Explicit Harry would do anything.

Gutless by @sillywives | Explicit Malfoy is sick. Harry is getting better.

I would love you if you had a worm by @elskanellis | Explicit Living in the Room of Requirement during Snape's tenure, Ginny has had to do a lot of things to help her community survive. Saving Seamus Finnegan might be the most difficult thing yet.

Now I Wake Up In The Night and Watch You Breathe by @hoko-onchi-writes | Explicit Harry has been pining for years. It's time he finally makes his dreams come true.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Now honestly I think that if Ed was having a really rough night, convinced he's an awful person and a monster, and he wanted to talk it through with Stede about all the things he did during his kraken spiral, Stede would be able to handle that really well. He'd get that Ed was just Being A Pirate and understand that the situation still requires sensitivity because it obviously hurt Ed so deeply and he feels so much guilt. I think he'd do a really nice job of helping Ed talk through why he felt the actions he took were necessary at the time and helping him see that he's doing a great job of making amends with the crew, who were hurt primarily because Ed was their friend and he was being a shitty boss.

The one exception is the whole thing with Izzy's toes. Like, Stede just would not be able to handle that with maturity. At first he'd be like "...yuck. i'd love to hear your reasoning on that one." and then Ed would hedge a bit but the INSTANT he dropped the "yeah Izzy said he should've let the English kill me and I better watch my step" that's going to become the most hilarious thing Stede's ever heard. "And now he can't watch his step," he's going to cackle. "Because of what happened to his toes." He's just going to really appreciate the humor of the situation but Ed's still sat there like 😢 so he's going to try to reign himself in and it's just not going to work. He just loves wordplay too much. "I understand you were going through a rough patch, but your theatrical instincts clearly never suffered," he's going to say, and Ed's not even sure if he can accept that compliment or not

[labyrinthofsphinx]

I get the vibe Vox will eventually fully see the kid as his son

Alastor with the kid I’m not nearly as sure

A bit of discussion about them and the kid:

You know, it's a learning curb for them both, having the kid around. As said when they first decided that they were stuck with him for now, Vox gets obsessed and Al likes troublemakers, so they were both setup to like him generally from the start.

Vox is a lot more physically affectionate in general and, obviously, possessive with 'his things'. Like he's a little overprotective of Al sometimes, and Al is fully capable, so give him something small that 'depends' on him...yeah, he's gonna yuck that up. But the kid is actually really good at taking care of himself and has for a while now, so it doesn't quite fit the mold in his head. It will lead to it's own problems because Vox isn't a parent, doesn't know how to parent, and doesn't really have the standing to tell the kid what he can or can't do, but that's not gonna stop him from trying.

Al sees him more as a small person, which is good because he is. He doesn't do much because he feels like he doesn't have to, and he's kinda right. In most regards anyways (we'll see what happens when he thinks the kid should be fine, and he definitely isn't. He's mature, but he's not an adult. There's certain things he can't handle.). Also, Al keeps everyone at arms length until he feels comfortable, and that includes the kid. He doesn't come across as 'warm' as Vox, but that's just an Al thing, not exclusive to the kid.

...all that said, Al's still running with the idea that he's going to have 'his own kid' one day. This isn't 'his kid'. It's a kid. Who's extorting them for personal gain. Vox, on the other hand, as part of his possessive/obsessive side, decides something is 'his' if it's around too long. Even if the kid is not 'his kid', he's still his kid.

And of course, time and experience can change everything ;)

[sugasiren]

◇ Astro Notes! (The HELL NO Edition) ◇

**FYI: Every Zodiac Sign has value. I hate no one, just have my preferences.

😑 Taurus Mars: HELL NO. Y'all move too fucking slow! And often stay stubborn about dumb shit.

😑 Taurus Suns: HELL NO. Too fucking boring - good God Almighty, change it up already! Lol. Also incapable of admitting when they're wrong and/or acting bitter whenever they *do* actually apologize.

😑 6th House Stellium Individuals: HELL NO. They give me major Mannequin vibes! 🤣 Have struggles with emotional constipation & being inauthentic. Too in their heads & often Debbie-Downers to be around. The 6H even waters down strong Scorpio & Aries energy! 🤷🏾‍♀️ They are less "juicy" than others of their ilk. *Dislike*

😑 Virgo Sun Males: HELL NO. Overly critical, self-righteous assholes. 💯 Who are oftentimes *more* petty & gossipy than women. Never satisfied! Yuck lol

😑 Pisces Mars: HELL NO. Obscenely passive-aggressive and whiney people. Say what you mean and mean what you say or STFU already. 👍🏾 Thanks!

😑 Sagittarius Moon: HELLO NO. Way too damn moody for me. Extreme highs & lows constantly with them. Can be overly preachy at times, too.

😑 Gemini/Cancer Combo: HELL NO. Batshit crazy bastards!! Their mood swings are like emotional tsunamis and you never know when they're coming. Extremely petty people who can make unwise decisions with unsavory consequences. "Dish it, but can't take it" types. 💯 The men care about you one minute... and are throwing you in the trash the next - over nothing.

😑 Scorpios w/ Virgo Moon: HELL NO. Control Freaks to infinity & beyond!! Think of Regina from Mean Girls. Backstabber Energy. Very imposing presence - they like to intimidate others. 💪 Back TF up, fool. Not having it over here. Bye, now.

😑 Aquarius Stelliums: HELL NO. These MFers are like the most advanced Calculus - overly complicated & just plain difficult for NO damn reason. I hate Math, too! 🤣 They treat their Love Interests like "friends" and then silently die inside when you ghost them or turn away. WTF did you expect?? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Stop fearing intimacy - that aloof shit gets old, fam. And stop demanding that everyone be "open-minded" when you yourself are often VERY stuck in your own unconventional beliefs.

😑 Leo Suns (unevolved): HELL NO. Total headaches to endure & the absolute WORST ever. 🤣 Unwarranted Egos that *I* pop like a fucking balloon. Their need for constant validation is exhausting & they're absurdly selfish. They give bratty 7 year-old girl vibes!! You know The Lion King right? Unevolved Leos are like Scar. Mature Leos are like Mufasa - the polar opposite & my favorite people on the planet, actually. ☀️ So Lions can be a hit or miss.

Thanks for reading Darlings! 💕 More to come soon.

[ghouldtime]

Random Rant on Fanfic Pet Names

Let me say this is more me screaming into the great unknown because it's something that I KEEP seeing and it keeps irking me and causing me to cringe out of my skin. Putting it under the read more, it's just a rant mainly about the COD fandom, you're not missing anything if you don't read this

Disclaimer: I mean absolutely no hate to the writers who do this. Because you should be writing what makes YOU happy and what YOU like to write. Writing is unique and independent to each individual and just because I don't like something doesn't mean that it's inherently bad or shouldn't be done. You do you, you go on your own journey - just cause we both like hiking doesn't mean we have to take the same trail or that one path is better than the other. Judging people like that who write different than you is nasty and policing harmless writing over little things is stinky sock sniffer behavior. Just cause it's my yuck doesn't mean it is everyone's and I don't expect everyone to agree with me nor is my point meant to be an objective truth or statement. It's literally just my feelings and I need to yell about it

The COD fandom in particular I've seen is atrocious for doing this. But I abhor when they make the characters use pet names like "pet" and "little girl" or "little boy".

Especially when they've literally JUST met

Every time I see it I immediately have to exit off the fic as I gag. I swear it's instinctive at this point. You know those videos of cats who do the extremely dramatic gagging when they smell something they slightly don't like? That's me. 110%

It comes up and I look at the page like this

It just feels so so gross to me and has this icky undertone that I cannot stand. And I don't know if I'm reading into it too much or if this is just me a me thing but I swear to any gods above this keeps happening. It's done so much I have tried putting filters on specifically to avoid it

It strikes me as so odd??? Like why that out of everything. Why something emphasizing age/maturity or treating the reader like they're a possession when it's a regular ass fanfic.

It makes my skin crawl and the possessive/dismissive undertones there are NOT cute. It always reads as ignoring reader's autonomy and treating them more like an object or thing instead of a person. When they just met too or the relationship really doesn't call for it or where it would be weird, it's just shoehorned in and I reallllly really really hate it oh man.

Like if it's established and is a fic where it's like "hey, this is what this is going to be! We're doing a nsfw/bdsm-y undertones here! That's the vibe!" Then great! Fantastic! That lines up, you're expecting that. Not when it's like a fluff fic or supposed to be super causal

I see this mainly with Ghost in fan fics. For some reason, he seems to be numero uno when it comes to calling reader "pet" as a form of endearment. I'm so sorry but I can't ever see him doing that. The guy who has extensive trauma with animals from his childhood, who would take an IMMENSE amount of time forming a close bond with someone to ever get into a relationship (following the comics for his history anyhow which is what I've seen most people do, Ghost has literally seen his family killed and has been through so so much trauma it's wild and the dude has a lot going on mentally), calling someone he cares about a pet??? I just don't see it happening. I sure as shit don't think he'd do that to near strangers either. Even if you ignored that past history for him or write Ghost different -that's just a flat out weird thing to call someone you don't know and has the implications of ownership/subservience on that person's part. Doing that to someone you REALLY do not know is insane

And the little girl/boy one used in conjunction with an age gap??? No??? That's just. So many shades of ew to me and is really putting emphasis on the wrong thing there (at least how I see it and in the context of the fic. I've never seen it used appropriately unless the reader is meant to be a literal child and it's a platonic fic. Context matters). ESPECIALLY when they emphasize reader is young (as in, barely legal, just turned 18/19 or heck even 20). Which I also keep seeing too when it is used. I'm not here for that reallllly creepy vibe that sounds like something you'd eventually hear about on Dateline or in a youtube exposé video

Like y'all. Anyone being shipped with them should be a grown ass adult because THEY are all grown ass adults. For me the little is never emphasizing size when paired with a gendered term, it's emphasizing how small their age is and that's wacky. Maybe that's just a me problem but when I hear "little girl" or "little boy", I'm thinking of a kid. Because girl/boy are most commonly used for children and when you're pairing it with little there, that's what you're emphasizing and you're practically guaranteeing that image.

Be real, if a guy you JUST met who you don't find attractive sneers and says, "Be quiet, pet." or "hush little girl/boy, " you wouldn't find that hot, you'd find that creepy. It's only excused because you're attracted to the character and find them hot. I'm picking a fight, I'm throwing hands if that's dropped on me in the real world out there. Probably not because I'm too non-confrontational but you bet im cringing and giving him the most:

look I can absolutely muster.

Maybe this is just a me thing and I'm losing my marbles. Or maybe it's the fact that I've had that happen to me where a dude I barely know called me "little girl/boy" (despite me being older?? and like the same height?????) and I just died on the inside viscerally that day

For the record if someone pulls the 'pet' card, I'm living up to it. I'm puking on the carpets somewhere in the dark at 3am, I'm yelling at the mailman and doorbells, I'm doing parkour off the couch when you're trying to sleep. Why the absolute hell are you calling someone you JUST MET that when it isn't even supposed to be that kinda nsfw fic.

It's one thing if the vibe is established and the tags are there and you know what you're getting into. But I lose my mind when it's a casual fluff or meant to be romantic and then all of a sudden, BAM THERE IT IS AGAIN.

It makes it so hard to read fics because it's like roulette, I swear I'm always suddenly hit with it and there goes my interest in trying again 🥲

To anyone who read this i admire your courage and akbwdbkawd im having a moment over here

(And hopefully everyone is having a snazzy day! 💚💚💚 my inbox is always open if you ever need to vent or need someone to talk to or want to join me yelling into the void)

Rant over,

Ghoul out