#Martin is doing his best its not his fault

[littlecrittereli]

Hey I'm writing a Wild Kratts x Avatar the last Airbender fanfic and a lot of inspo for Chris and Martins relationship comes from your guardian au! I was wondering if you had any things to keep in mind when writing them or little things about their relationship in your own au that I can steal lol

Well in guardianship AU specifically their dynamic is a little different from canon because their personalities are a little different too (stemming from the fact that their parents died and Martin has been raising Chris)

In guardianship AU, Martin is a lot more mature because he HAD to be. He frets over every little detail when it comes to Chris because not only is he worried about keeping custody of him, but also wants to ensure that Chris has as normal and healthy of a childhood as possible. He wants Chris to be able to be a kid for as long as possible, because Martin was robbed of that the moment their parents died. He's also very self conscious about his qualifications to be raising Chris. He's worried that he's not doing a good job, and Chris would be better off under someone else's care, and Martin sometimes thinks of himself as selfish for not being willing to give up custody even if it would be "better" for Chris.

Chris on the other hand, is not as naive as Martin likes to think. He knows about their struggles despite how hard Martin tries to hide them. He thinks of himself as mature and desperately wishes people would treat him like it. He sees Martin struggle for years after their parent's death, and wants nothing more than to help somehow, but Martin would never let him. So he gets angry and lashes out sometimes because of the restrictions Chris feels he's under. He's very aware that he can be a handful. He also believes that Martin would be doing far better in life if he had just given up custody. Chris is too scared Martin would go through with it if he ever mentioned it though. So they never talk about it. All Chris wants is Martin to be happy, he just doesn't realize he already brings that in Martin's life.

Basically they don't confide in each other like in canon. Mostly because of the age difference and the fact that Martin is in a parental role for Chris. They're not as close with open communication. They still care about each other more than anything, but with Martin's feelings of inferiority, and Chris' insecurities, they both assume the other would be better off without them. And those unspoken fears causes a lot of tension.

Of course they will work it out when Chris gets a bit older and is able to express himself properly, and Martin will feel less obligated to shield him from everything... but for now that's about how it is

[logansargeantsbabymom]

imgonnagetyouback

(BRIEF) Lance Stroll x Singer!Fem!Reader, Carlos Sainz x Fem!Reader, Grid x Singer!Fem!Reader

warning: douchebag lance, cursing, briefly mentioning the Stroll/Ricciardo accident

summary: Y/N is a world famous singer who's madly in love with her Formula 1 boyfriend Lance Stroll but he doesn't reciprocate her feelings. So what happens they break up and she drops an album about their relationship and the grid blasts her songs especially when Lance is around?

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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Watching the screen with my hands covering my mouth, I couldn't believe what just happened. My boyfriend (and Formula 1 driver) Lance Stroll just crashed into Daniel Ricciardo and it looked like Lance wasn't even paying attention.

After Daniel had to retire the car, I felt bad so I made my way to him to apologize on behalf of Lance given that he was still in the race.

"Danny!" I shout as I jog towards him

Hearing his name, Daniel turned around in complete shock seeing me as no one knew I was there beside Lance, Fernando and the rest of the Aston Martin team.

"Hey Ms. Global Pop-star! What're you doing here?" Daniel asks as he pulls me into a hug, the frown once evident on his face now formed into a huge grin.

"I'm here to see Verstappen win, like always" I chuckle as I watch Daniel playfully roll his eyes "I'm taking a quick break from tour, I missed my boyfriend and my best friends" I playfully punched his arm

"I'm really glad to see you. I thought you forgot about us since you just keep adding tour dates. Thought we'd never see you again." Sadness appears in his voice again as he voices his thoughts

"No, never Danny! I can't go too long without seeing my favorite Aussie, please don't tell Oscar." I see in the background Danny's team needing to have a talk with him "Oh, before I let you go back to your team, I wanted to apologize for the accident on behalf on Lance. He's totally in the wrong" a sincere smile plastered on my face as I apologize.

The frown that was one gone from his face reappeared at the mention of the crash.

"Yeah, yeah no it wasn't your fault. Lance should be the one to apologize, but in this sport accidents are bound to happen. But uh listen, I've gotta run my team need me!" Daniel says as he starts jogging away, prompting me to make my way right back to the Aston Martin garage.

-

After the race ended and the drivers were doing interviews, word got out that Lance was blaming Daniel for the crash and oh boy was Daniel not happy, that was evident in the way he walked over to me.

"Hey y/n/n, I don't ask for much but could you please talk to Lance and make him own up to his own mistakes? Blaming me for an accident he could've avoided." Daniel asked, trying to keep his temper at bay no to no avail.

"Yeah, I was just on my way to him. I'm sorry again, he's ridiculous." I pat his shoulder before jogging over to my boyfriend, whom just finished 1 interview and was on his way to the next reporter.

"Hey babe, I heard what you said about the crash. Why are you saying that its Daniels fault?" I ask running my hand through damp hair before taking the hat out of his hands, placing it on his head.

"Because it is?" Lance replied as if it was common knowledge

"But it's not..? We all watched the replays, you weren't paying attention before making that turn. You rammed right into him." I clarify, wiping some sweat from his face with a face towel I pulled out of my little Kate Spade bag Lance bought me 2 months into our relationship.

Me wiping his sweat away didn't last however because Lance swatted my hand away in disgust.

"Don't touch me. Why are you on his side?" My eyebrows knit in confusion.

"Sides? There are no 'sides' when it's evident that YOU crashed into Daniel. Lance why are you being this way?"

If people weren't paying attention from our interaction then, they certainly were now given that both of our voices went up a few octaves.

"I could be asking you the same question! Y'know what? I don't have time to deal with 'Pick Me' bitches as a girlfriend. Life was so much better when I just fantasized about you. We're fucking done Y/N. DONE, I'm breaking up with you!" as that last sentence came spilling out of his mouth, you can audibly hear the gasps from the news reporters, fans and the rest of the grid.

Words escaped me as I just stared at Lance with tears forming in my eyes. I wanted to scream, cry, hit him, throw things but I couldn't physically bring myself to do any of them. I blinked my tears away as I faintly see Oscar and Lily make their way to us, Oscar confronting Lance as well as the rest of the grid once word got out to the ones who weren't within earshot, and Lily brought me to the McLaren garage where the other WAGS were. All of them tried their best to comfort me saying things like "Lance was so out of pocket with that", "You deserve so much better than him" and "You're way out of his league, he should've been grateful that you have him a chance." but that didn't stop the tears from falling and a sob from escaping my lips as I shook from heartache.

-

It had been 3 months since Lance broke up with me and I hadn't had time to grieve the heartache because I had to fly out to Brazil for another tour stop. In the 3 months following the breakup, between traveling and performing, I couldn't stop writing. I was writing song after song after song, and now I was determined to ruin Lance's Reputation .

I thought about randomly dropping a single but my manager and record label advised against it so I haven't. The past 2 and a half hours, I've ben brain storming different ways to release a single but I had to make it in the most Y/N L/N way.

Heavy footsteps and my make-shift studio door opening is what broke me out of my trance, looking up I'm met with the eyes of my manager, Jamie. Jamie randomly barging into my studio Isn't necessarily unusual but the little white envelope in her hand was.

"You, ms Y/N L/N has just been invited to the Canadian Grand Prix, and surprise surprise, Aston Martin wants you to stay in their garage." Jamie says as she waved the white envelope in the air.

A scoff leaves my lips as I roll my eyes "Is it Aston Martin or Lance that wants me in the garage?" I say as I take the envelope from her hands to open it. Shock written all over my face as I stared at the envelope before me as I search Jamies face for answers

I watched a smirk forms on her face "Oh, sorry. That's the Ferrari invite courtesy of Carlos Sainz , I didn't think you'd want the Aston Martin invite. Which in fact was from Lance and that's not even the first invite he's sent." she states matter of factly.

More disgust coats my face "How many has Lance sent?"

"A total of 6 and I have a feeling he's not gonna stop until you're at a Grand Prix."

I should've known that Lance has been sending me invites, that explains why he's always texting me asking where I'm at. Damnit Lance, just look on any social media platform, I'm on tour!

I contemplated throwing away the Aston Martin invite until a thought popped in my head. I looked at Jamie with a smirk forming on my face and by the look on hers, she knew I was up to no good.

"Just by your face I don't like where this is gonna go" Jamie said

"I'm accepting the Ferrari invite," I start as I got up from my place on the couch to leave the studio and into my room, Jamie following suit "I'm gonna start packing, given that the Grand Prix is this weekend. I need you to book me a place to stay and get the jet ready for take off tonight. I'm gonna call Carlos."

-

My phone call with Carlos was brief, I just called to tell him that I was accepting the invite and that I was leaving in a few hours because I wanted to spend the whole race weekend with him. No matter what it was, Free Practice, Quali, Interviews, Race day or dinner. It was all gonna be me and him together.

I was currently in the jet as it was landing at the airport, it hadn't been too long of a flight seeing as I was at my one of my homes in Philadelphia. The jet door opened and the very few people I brought had started making their way out, I was the last passenger out of the jet and I locked eyes with someone I didn't expect to see.

"Hola Mamacita, How was your flight?" Carlos said as he made his way to the bottom of the jet steps before embracing me in a tight hug

"Carlitos! What are you doing here?" I was surprised Carlos was here, we both had made plans to meet at the hotel and then stroll (pun intended) around the surrounding cities before going to the track and letting Carlos do whatever he had to while I waited for him in the Ferrari Garage.

"I thought I'd just pick you up since we're gonna be together this whole weekend." Carlos said as he was putting my suitcases in trunk of his Ferrari as I patiently waited for him to move so I could put my backpack in the trunk as well. After I placed my bag snug in the trunk, I closed it before making my way to the passenger seat, surprised to see already open with Carlos standing there with a smile on his face as he gestured me in.

"Watch out Carlitos, keep doing nice things like this, I might fall in love with you" I said with a smirk on my face as I looked in his eye before stepping in the low sitting Ferrari before muttering a thank you before he closed the door.

I watched as Carlos walked around the car to the drivers seat and I stared at his ass as he sat down, I tried to look away before he caught me but I was unsuccessful.

A few tsks left Carlos' mouth before he confronted me "Princesa, let me take you on a proper date before you start drooling over my ass." something about the nickname made a small blush creep up on my cheeks and I attempted to bury my face in my hands.

I felt a pair of hands on my wrists, pulling them down to unveil my face before I felt a hand on my chin forcing me to look at Carlos in his face. Making eye contact set off more blood rushing to my face as a small shy smile crept onto my face. My eyes flickered to Carlos' lips before going right back up to his eyes.

We stayed like this for what felt like hours, just looking in each others eyes in a comfortable silence. The space between us getting smaller, I couldn't tell who was the one leaning in but none of us made a conscious effort to pull away. The closer we got, the more I felt his breath on my lips. My eyes flickered to his lips once more, I was determined to close this gap but before I could a blaring sound ricocheted off the walls of the Ferrari.

The sound jolted us apart, and a small awkward chuckle left our lips before Carlos answered the call.

"Aye, cabrón, Que? We're on our way! Stuck in traffic, what do you want me to do about it? Aye Cállate cabrón, adios!" with that Carlos hung up and we shared an awkward glance before he drove off.

-

20 minutes later we arrived outside a fancy hotel and Carlos got out and tossed his keys to the valet girl waiting before he jogged to my side and opened my door.

I stepped out and thanked him again before attempting to grab the bags from the trunk before Carlos pulled me away.

"No, that's my job" he told me in a stern voice

"And what's mine?" I ask as a smile forms on my face and I crossed my arms

"To stand there and look pretty. And by the looks of it you're already doing it." he says as he winks in my direction.

As son as the bags were out of the trunk they Valet lady, who's name tag read Susie, took the car away and the people at the front took my luggage and promised to send it up to the room so we didn't have to take it.

Carlos had a hand on the small of my back as he led me to the elevator and pressed the 'up' arrow and I checked my instagram while we waited for the elevator. My mouth fell agape when I saw what was trending

I felt Carlos' stare from over my shoulder and just as I was about to turn around and start profusely apologizing, his phone went off and I looked over at him while he checked his phone.

"I think Lando believes the rumors now." Carlos said with a chuckle as he flips his phone allowing me to read the messages. A chuckle of my own left my lips but the chuckles were short lived seeing as the elevator dinged and opened and an old elderly couple waddled out.

"Oh dear, look at that. Young love, I remember when we were like that" the old lady said as she laid eyes on me and Carlos, I almost corrected the lady but given the way that me and Carlos were standing, it didn't stand a chance.

"Yeah, she's mi vida" Carlos said as he pulled my closer to him before planting a kiss on my temple.

The nice old couple smiled at both of us before walking away. Carlos led me into the elevator, his hand still resting on my back as he turns to face me

"Why didn't you correct her?" I whispered to him as we locked eyes. The gap between us slowly disappearing. I watched as Carlos's eyes flickered down to my lips and stared at them. Getting a little self conscious, I bit my lower lip but quickly felt Carlos' thumb pull my lip from teeth. The hand that once rested on my lips moved to the back of my neck, mine quickly followed suit.

“Have I ever told you that you look beautiful?” his voices soft whisper, like if he spoke any louder that it’d ruin the moment. In reality, nothing could ruin this moment.

“Shut up and kiss me” I said, the eye contact between us burning the atmosphere around us.

“Gladly” the gap between us thinning. We were so close I could see every little speck on his face, the way his eyelashes fluttered with every flick of his eyes, I could see every different shade of brown in his beautiful eyes.

Our eyes closed as our lips barely brushed together, I was getting impatient with him so the hands I had around his neck I was gonna use to pull him closer and finally close the gap for once. The elevator abruptly stopping is what pulled us apart before we could kiss, quickly thinking of a way to pull apart with looking suspicious, I pulled Carlos into a hug, after a second or two I turned around to see the two girls that walked in. Both quickly recognizing us and started asking for pictures.

after we took pictures with the two girls, they started berating us with questions.

“Oh my god!! Are you guys dating??” one girl yelled excitedly. Before we could answer the other asked another question

“Shut up!! Are you staying with Carlos in the Ferrari garage!!??”

“NO STOP!! AHHHHH I LOVE THIS!!”

“I LOVE CARY/N!!”

The look that me and Carlos shared as they kept talking over each other screamed ‘Oh God please open elevator’ we just wanted to get to the hotel room in peace and so far peace was what we weren’t getting.

After what felt like an eternity, the elevator opened and the girls left but not without snapping more pictures of us, that would surely make it on the internet and low and behold, before we actually made it to our hotel room his phone started blowing up.

“Ay, look. They posted” Carlos said showing me his phone so I could see what he saw.

“How are they that fast? Those girls JUST took the photo” I said with a sigh as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Before Carlos could answer me, my phone started blowing up with texts from… Lance.

“Lance keeps blowing up my phone and I knew he won’t stop until I answer him.” I told Carlos because the look he gave me asked ‘who’s that?’

A scoff left my lips as I kept rereading the last sentence Lance sent me. ‘Carlos won’t treat you better than how I treated you. I treated you like a queen’. Yeah right. Maybe for two months after we got together but after? You didn’t really care, I was just something you looked good with.

I was so deep in thought that I hadn’t noticed a tear slip from my eyes that was until I felt a warm hand brush the tears away from my cheek.

“Princesa, what happen?” his tone sincere, when my eyes looked up to meet his I could see something in them. Was it hurt, hate, disgust? I couldn’t tell. Maybe it was all 3, Hurt because I was crying, Hate because of everything Lance had did to me and Disgust seeing as the girls posted private intimate photos on instagram.

-

it had been 15 minutes since my little breakdown in the hallway and Carlos was still comforting me.

“We don’t have to go to this team dinner, I can cancel on behalf of us and we can watch tv” Carlos’ hand rubbing circles on the small of my back. A small smile creeps on my face at the kind gesture.

“No, let’s go. I have to distract myself anyway, plus I miss the other drivers” I said with a small laugh leaving my lips too.

-

By the time we had arrived at the restaurant we’d already been 15 minutes late. Walking in we were greeted with a whole bunch of “Finally” “About time” “I’m starving” along with some applauses.

Carlos sat down right away muttering a few ‘shut up’s before he did while I made my way around the table saying ‘Hi’ to everyone until I got to Lance.

“Hello Lance.” it came out colder than intended but I couldn’t care less. Lance quickly stood up and grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the corner of where the rest of the grid and WAGS were sat.

“Lance, let go of me” I said sternly, I peaked behind him to see Carlos staring in my direction asking me if I was okay with his eyes.

“No. We need to talk, I’m tired of you ignoring me.” A cold icy look lingered in Lance’s eyes before I tugged my wrist back.

The look I gave Carlos told him all he needed to know, ‘save me’ and in about 10 seconds, Carlos was nudging me behind him

“Aye, Cabrón. Leave her alone, I’m asking one time and one time only. Leave. Her. Alone.” those last three words dripped venom as he spoke.

With a scoff and rolling of eyes, Lance reluctantly went back to his seat, complete opposite of mine. The few moments I had standing there before Carlos gestured me to the seat, I had a thought.

I waited until we sat back down and ordered before I pulled out my phone and took to twitter.

The tweet blew up in a matter of seconds and my single shot up to the top 10 of hot 100s in that same amount of time.

Everyone’s phone got a notification that I had posted a tweet and with a few faces casting questionable glances at me

“SHUT UP Y/N! A SINGLE? RIGHT NOW???? AT DINNER???” Lily, Oscar’s girlfriend whisper yelled and a petty smile made its way on my face.

I watched as half the people at the dinner whipped out their phones and went straight to spotify to give my song a listen and as the other half just pulled up the lyrics so give them a quick read.

“SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPP!!!!!! THE ASTON MARTIN LINE IS CRAZY” Alex, Charles’ girlfriend screamed as she continuously hit my arm in excitement.

The mention of the Aston Martin line is what got Lance’s attention.

“There’s an Aston Martin line? Play it out loud. I want to hear.” His voice a mixture of hurt and anger, like he was disappointed that I made a song about our breakup. What did he expect breaking up (very publicly might I add) with a singer who is known for writing breakup songs?

The people around the table all gave eachother uncertain glances before I pulled out my phone and let the whole table hear my song.

“Just for clarification, i DONT feel this way anymore.” was all I said before I pressed play. I contemplated not pressing play and just taking the song down because the look in Lance’s eyes but he shouldn’t have broken up with me because I asked him to take accountability for his mistakes and he shouldn’t have done it so publicly and they way he did.

I shook away all the thoughts of regret I was having and pressed play

“I’m an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch, then ran and hid”

My words his Lance like a truck. He looked like a dear in headlights, but he continued listening nonetheless.

Once the song finished, the look in Lance’s wasn’t what I thought it would be. I thought it would be Sad, Mad, Disappointed, I wanted an angry reaction out of him but I got just the opposite. He was smiling.

“You want me back?” A smirk on his face. His reaction got everyone upset with people spewing ‘you don’t listen’ & ‘no she doesn’t’ & ‘oh my god’

“No cabrón, she doesn’t want you back.” Carlos’ accent grew thicker with each word he said.

“And why do you think that” snarky. Lance has always been a douche but right now he was the ultimate D-Bag.

Carlos didn’t respond. Well, he did, just not verbally. Instead what he did was he turned to face me and pulled me into a searing kiss. The kiss was so passionate that I’m pretty sure I felt some tongue action but that didn’t stop us. Instead the only thing the pulled us apart from each other was the slam of fists on the table and stomping feet echoing away from us.

I pulled away and looked in Carlos’ eyes

“You know that’s gonna be on instagram soon” I whispered against his lips before capturing them in another kiss

“I’m counting on it”

And to no one’s surprise, that picture was in fact all over instagram.

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[biblio-smia]

at the top of my list [ethan landry x reader]

pre-ghostface / no ghostface alternate - no spoilers for scream vi

masterlist | requests are open!

warnings: underage drinking (brief), brief angst but mostly fluff

pairing: fem!carpenter!reader x ethan landry

Rooming with Mindy Meeks-Martin came with its pros: for one, she got you out of having to room with your two sisters — as much as you loved them, you couldn't bear the thought of having to live a tiny, cramped apartment with them, — plus, she was your gateway to the "full college experience" (her words). Then, there were things that came with Mindy that you hadn't decided were pros or cons; after all, she was the reason you met Ethan Landry.

It wasn't entirely her fault — but Mindy was Chad's sister and Ethan was Chad's roommate and in no time, he was part of the group.

It was strange, allowing new people into your lives, but first came Ethan, then Quinn, then Anika and eventually you got used to the feeling.

You warmed up to Ethan first and the fastest, despite making the worst first impression. You'd misheard his name as Ethan Laundry and laughed little too loud for a little too long at a joke only you were in on.

Ethan looked past this; he was far too focused on not stumbling over his own words even to recall the event that mortified you for weeks.

Your relationship with Ethan grew steadily as he came around more and more. It was always in a group setting and usually alongside Chad, but as the months grew on you engaged in more conversations by yourselves. Always somehow left alone with him, you felt yourself becoming increasingly comfortable around Ethan.

Anytime Mindy attempted to make a comment on you and Ethan, she was shutdown immediately, sometimes even before she could get a single word out.

You enjoyed Ethan’s company and he enjoyed yours — the dynamic you had now didn’t need to be changed.

Moreover, you certainly didn’t need Mindy messing things up.

You were adamant enough in your position that Ethan and you were just friends and you didn’t want anything more to Mindy that she cooled down on the would-be comments at least to your face.

“I just know they like each other. I can feel it.” Mindy argued.

“Jeez, I thought Chad was the matchmaker here.” Sam joked.

“Hey, it runs in our blood.” Mindy grinned. “But seriously, all I hear is ‘Ethan this, Ethan that.’ It’d be cute if the two of them weren’t so painfully clueless.”

“Well, why don’t we let them figure it out on their own?” Tara suggested, taking a sip of her drink. She knew how you felt about others meddling into your life, even if it was people you loved — she and Sam learned that the hard way.

Mindy groaned. “That’ll take months. Maybe even years. Do you really want to watch these idiots pine for each other for that long?”

Sam let out a “Hey!” in your defense, while Mindy and Tara looked around for support, both sets of eyes falling on the only person who could clue them into Ethan’s perspective: Chad.

“Well,” Chad glanced nervously from his sister to both of yours, eyes settling on to Tara’s warm brown ones. “He does talk about your sister a lot. Like… a lot.”

“That doesn’t mean we should do anything.” Sam said before Mindy could say anything. “She really wouldn’t appreciate it.”

“Even if it would get them together?” Mindy pleaded desperately.

“Let’s leave them be for now,” Sam stated decisively, offering Mindy a small smile. “Let them figure it out on their own.”

「 ... 」

Knowing Ethan Landry was the best thing that’d ever happened to you in moments like these; it was another group movie night in the apartment your sisters shared with the usual seating arrangements — Mindy, Anika, Chad, and Tara were comfortably squished on the couch meant for three while Sam stretched out her legs on the second couch; effectively shunning you and Ethan to the love seat.

At first, it was awkward — you and Ethan crashed into your respective, opposite, sides of the couch, trying to create as much space between the two of you as possible. Then, as time went on, the distance between you grew smaller; as Ethan grew more comfortable in your presence, he began a habit of whispering random movie trivia into your ear, always carefully watching for your reaction, whether it was a gasp of shock or a cute string of giggles. You weren't sure when it started; despite your tendency to hate people talking during movies, you began to look forward to Ethan's voice in your ear more than the actual movie. By the midway point of each movie, you would always end up leaning against Ethan's warm chest with his arm wrapped around you, insisting it was so Ethan didn't have to work hard to whisper in your ear.

Tonight, Ethan was huddled next to you, the fluffiest blanket you owned draped over the two of you. His hands found yours, playing with your fingers. The movie started around fifteen minutes ago; a fact from Ethan was overdue now. However, as you looked over you realized that Ethan's fidgeting with your hands was nervous and accompanied by frequent glances toward his phone.

"What's up?" You were the one whispering now, a look of concern on your face.

"Hm? Nothing..." Ethan trailed off, distracted, his eyes never leaving his phone.

Ethan wasn't much of a phone guy — especially not during movie nights.

However, you didn't press further, leaning back to try to watch the movie for once.

It wasn't until Ethan's phone dinged, and he reached for it faster than you'd ever seen — breaking the only contact you had with him —, that your suspicion began to grow. Ethan's phone was always on do not disturb, a habit you'd chided him for when he was unresponsive in the group chat — though you were the only exception, the only one he always responded immediately to.

It was surprising to see — you wondered if he was waiting for a grade to be submitted; but as far as you knew, Ethan had no big assignments due recently.

The notification was just an email and the disappointment was clear on Ethan's face. As soon as his phone screen turned black — his home screen photo of you and him disappearing — the screen lit up again, as did Ethan's expression. You averted your eyes. Whatever Ethan was excited about, he'd tell you. On his own time.

You were painfully aware of the minutes that ticked on and on as Ethan typed, waited, stopped to think, then typed again. The sounds of a text conversation suddenly seemed like the biggest interruption to the movie you could have experienced.

Just as your curiosity reached its peak, Ethan turned to you with one of the biggest smiles on his face.

"So, there's this girl..." He went on, eyes bright as you felt your heart drop. You weren't paying attention to his words, only mustering up smiles and nods at the appropriate times to make it seem like you were.

Just like that, the sacredness of movie nights, the hour and a half you intimately shared with Ethan, was gone. It was tainted by the prospect of another girl on Ethan's mind and you suddenly couldn't stand being within five feet of him, an unfamiliar ache sprouting in your chest. The pain only worsened the longer you sat there, processing as the sound of your heart pound drowned out everything else.

You got up suddenly, clutching the spot that screamed in agony. "I don't... feel good." You looked around, cheeks heating up as you realized you caused a scene, glancing at the one now paused on the television.

"Are you okay? Do you need medicine?" Sam asked, suddenly sitting up. She made a motion to get up and you waved her off; if she came up to you know you knew you'd cry.

"No, no, I'm just gonna... go lie down. I'll be fine." You stood true to your word, making your way through the small apartment to the closest room — Tara's — before anyone could say anything more. With your back turned to the living room and your quick exit, you missed the way Ethan sprang up, only discouraged from following you with a shake of Tara's head.

「 ... 」

Being alone with your thoughts in the dark might have been your worst idea yet — but at least you had no audience.

Ethan was talking to a girl. They weren't dating — he would've told you that immediately — but they were talking. Worst of all, there was no reason for Ethan not to talk to other girls. It wasn't like you were dating.

You began to analyze the entirety of your relationship with Ethan, trying to pinpoint where everything went wrong. Somewhere along the way, Ethan had climbed his way up and became the person you cared about the most — sometimes even more than yourself. You'd tried so hard to convince yourself that the love you felt for him was platonic, but you weren't sure platonic friends felt so strongly when there was a romantic involvement with someone else. This was jealously in its purest form.

You groaned, hands on your head as it began to pound. The sudden thought that Mindy was right popped into your head, making you groan even harder.

Knowing Ethan Landry had suddenly become the worst thing that ever happened to you as you realized, too late, that you were hopelessly in love with him.

「 ... 」

Tara and Sam came in after the movie ended, much sooner than expected. Tara instinctively flipped the light switch on, flooding the room with bright yellow light. The sudden irritation led you to cover your eyes with a pillow and groan once more.

"Do you still feel bad? What hurts?" You felt Sam take a seat on the bed, pulling your hands away from your face. You squinted, your eyes still not adjusting to the sudden light when Tara spoke up.

"You're crying."

Your eyes opened and saw the looks of concern on Sam's and Tara's faces, hands reaching for your cheeks where, as correctly observed, tears had streamed down.

"I didn't realize." You said softly, wiping your face quickly. An uncomfortable silence laid upon the three of you, unsure of what to say. Tara and Sam exchanged glances before Tara took a seat on the other side of you, placing her hand on your leg comfortingly.

"Did... Ethan do something?" She asked cautiously.

"What? No!" You shook your head to emphasize. "Well... not purposely."

Sam took your hand in hers, a knowing look on her face.

"He's... talking to someone. It's stupid, I know. It's my fault I didn't give him a reason to... I just didn't realize I..." Tears welled up in your eyes again as you trailed off. You didn't need to finish. Your sisters knew exactly what you were feeling.

「 ... 」

Mindy was next to find out about your feelings toward Ethan and the situation you found yourself in. To your surprise, you weren't met with the "I told you so" or other celebration you expected. Mindy accepted your statement quietly as the two of you lay on your separate beds, dark encompassing your shared dorm.

"What are you going to do about it?" Mindy asked.

"Nothing." Your voice came out shakier than you'd expected. "What can I do now?"

「 ... 」

Chad was the last to find out, after your permission to let him in was granted. You would've told himself if you didn't think it was useless to. There was no point in admitting something that was too late to act on. To say you were hopeless was an understatement; you no longer left your dorm for anything other than class. You hadn't hung out with your friends in days, including Ethan. You were running out of excuses to throw at him and you knew you were running out of time to be upset. You'd have to pick yourself back up eventually — but for now you let yourself be sad.

This decision, however, was not supported by your friends. Tara and Sam's position on their involvement in your life changed drastically. It started as a plan to get you out of bed, they swore, but ended up changing as they realized who the girl Ethan was talking to was.

Chad had reported back to the group everything Ethan had told him about her; Tara recognized her as the girl you sat next to in your English class. You'd mentioned her a few times in passing; she was a friend of a friend of Tara's.

"She's weird," Tara said, eyebrows furrowing as Chad pulled up her instagram profile. "Not in a mean way. As in, she's kind of obsessed with my sister way." Tara crossed her arms, suddenly defensive.

"So what do we do? I mean, I don't think she actually likes Ethan?" Chad asked, looking back and forth.

Sam shrugged. "She might. If we gave her the benefit of the doubt. But it's starting to sound more like something else..."

The four exchanged solemn glances, all understanding what had to happen.

"We have to break them up."

「 ... 」

It was a party that got you out of your room (after days of pleading from Mindy). You were warned beforehand that Ethan and that girl would be showing up. You were only attending, despite this fact, due to the promise of alcohol that you knew would help you get through the inevitable. It was going to happen eventually. Why postpone it?

You separated from Mindy immediately, downing a cup of whatever drink was available — that and a refill was the only prerequisite you had before you forced yourself to find Ethan. Though, it seemed to be the other way around as you turned and were met with an overly-enthusiastic girl on an uncomfortable looking Ethan's arm. It took you a moment to recognize the girl in the dim party lights, but when you did, you didn't bother hiding the shock on your face.

"Madeline?" You almost dropped your cup in surprise, recalling an interaction that had occurred a few weeks ago.

Your teacher was running late, and you were unsure if he was going to show up. You pulled out your laptop to try and take advantage of the hour and a half you had of your lost lecture to get some work done.

Madeline, who was always late, took a seat next to you, as she usually did. She was sweet enough from your limited interactions with her, though the class you were taking didn't leave much room for you to talk.

Though, as there was no excuse not to now, Madeline had the opportunity to engage in small talk with you.

You responded politely but shortly, a little irritated that she continued trying to talk to you despite your obvious desire to get work done. You quickly concluded that Madeline was one of those people who enjoyed the sound of their own voice; a normal person would've stopped talking by now at your short replies.

Your phone lit up out of the corner of your eye and you knew it was Ethan; his class had just ended and the two of you had plans after you got out of this one. You'd always told him to head back to his dorm and wait out the rest of the 45 minutes you had of class there; but he always insisted on waiting for you and walking back together.

"Ooh, who's this?" Madeline giggled, snatching up your phone, much to your surprise. You thought you'd left people like her back in high school.

"Your boyfriend?" She inquired suggestively, pointing at your lock screen — a picture of you and Ethan celebrating his birthday exactly at midnight.

You shook your head, grabbing your phone back a little aggressively.

"No." You responded. It was none of her business; but you weren't assertive enough to say that to her face.

Madeline gasped exaggeratedly. "But he's your lock screen? You sure you're not dating?" She asked as innocently as she could muster.

"No." You repeated, harder this time. "We're just friends."

It was weird enough of an interaction to make sure you were never in a situation where you had to sit near her in that class again, but you chose not to say anything. It was a standalone, isolated event. But now, she was here with Ethan and you weren't sure what to think anymore. However, you were certain you did not like her.

"Oh my God! Isn't this the biggest coincidence?" Madeline exclaimed, though the tone of her voice suggested it wasn't.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Ethan asked, his own surprise evident.

"Of course we do!" Madeline said, letting go of Ethan and bumping her shoulder with yours, your drink dangerously close to sloshing onto your shirt. "We're like, best friends!"

You couldn't help but scoff.

"Really? You've never mentioned her..." You weren't sure if Ethan was talking to you or Madeline, but it pissed you off regardless. Maybe the alcohol had been a mistake.

"Well, have fun." You said curtly, taking one last look at Ethan before walking off. You quickly found Mindy, Chad, and Tara hovering close enough to watch the interaction but far enough that you hopefully wouldn't notice; too late.

You made your way over to them, sighing as you took another sip of your drink.

"What are you guys up to?" You asked suspiciously.

Mindy and Tara looked around at anywhere but you; Chad, however, was not so fast. Your eyes landed on his and you could see the fear in them.

"Nothing!" He insisted too quickly. "Just waiting for her to make a fool of herself so Ethan hates her?" It came out more of a question, but a smile grew on your face. You'd caught them.

Mindy groaned, smacking Chad's arm. "Seriously, you are the weakest link."

"Guys, seriously, it's fine. I'm fine. Can we stop worrying about it and just have fun?" You insisted.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Chad asked, eyes looking at something behind you.

You turned just in time to see Ethan storming away from his date and to the kitchen where he poured himself a drink. Ethan never drank.

"I'll go... check on him." Your words were quiet but the rest of the group nodded anyway, pushing you towards Ethan.

"Slow down, there," you said, a little hypocritically as Ethan chugged the mystery contents of his cup. He reached for a refill but you placed your hands on his, stopping him. That was more than enough alcohol for someone who barely tolerated it.

He was agitated, you could tell, but not at you.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Ethan asked boldly despite the hurt in his voice. Maybe a little at you.

You sighed, stepping closer to him. "Let's go home?"

He hesitated, but nodded, letting his hand fall in yours as you motioned to Mindy across the room.

「 ... 」

You didn't let go of his hand even after you left the crowded sea of warm bodies and were met with the cool air outside. You glanced at him from time to time, though for the first time since you'd known him, his expression was unreadable.

"I wasn't avoiding you. I mean, I didn't mean to. I mean, I just... wasn't in the right mindset to see anyone." You attempted to explain, feeling ashamed all over again.

"You should've told me. I wouldn't have been mad."

"I know. I just didn't want you to think it was your fault."

You continued in silence, though you took your still interlocked hands as a good sign.

"Are you mad now?" You asked carefully.

Ethan shook his head. "I could never be mad at you."

Though instead of relief, you felt guilty.

"She said you were weird." Ethan started after a while. You raised your eyebrows, but kept quiet. "She said it was weird I'm your lock screen. And that you were obsessed with me." Ethan paused and laughed a little, as if acknowledging how ridiculous the accusation was. "She didn't realize you're mine." Ethan flashed his phone up to prove it as if you weren't well aware of the picture. But isn't it weird how she knew we knew each other? And she didn't say anything to me? I thought so." Ethan didn't give you a chance to reply, but he didn't need to; he made his decision, on his own. Though, you couldn't help the relief you felt at it.

It wasn't a long walk back to your building, and the two of you made your way up to your room quietly. Ethan habitually kicked off his shoes as he entered, making his way to your bed and taking a seat. You joined him and sat there, staring at your hands. The two of you looked at each other and opened your mouths to speak at the same time, suddenly stumbling over your words to try and let the other go first.

"You. Go." You said a little awkwardly.

"I love you. I'm in love with you." Ethan started.

"Ethan—"

"Let me finish, please. If I don't say this now I don't think I ever will." He looked to you and you nodded your encouragement.

"I love you so much it's terrifying. I don't know how to date or what any of that is like... but I know how I feel. I love you and I know you're my best friend and I don't know what to do anymore..." Tears were beginning to pool in his eyes as Ethan sighed. "Your turn?"

You couldn't help but laugh.

"I love you, Ethan. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize and even more to accept it... I think I picked the worst possible moment to realize..." You took a shaky breath. "But I think it worked out?"

"Yeah. It most definitely worked out." And with that, Ethan's lips clumsily crashed onto yours, your hands immediately moving to his face to guide him. You could taste the last hints of liquid courage on his lips and you were suddenly grateful he'd had that spiked punch; there was no way you'd gotten a confession out of him otherwise.

You separated to catch your breath, taking a chance to admire Ethan as you ran your thumb over his cheek. He grinned toothily, placing his hands on yours. You kissed him, softer this time, savoring the feeling of his soft lips on yours.

"I knew it!" A voice exclaimed from the doorway, causing you and Ethan to jump approximately five feet from each other, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

There they were: Mindy, Chad, Sam, and Tara with smiles on their faces as they high-fived each other proudly.

"This was all my idea," Mindy said excitedly. "I said we should make a plan—"

"That's enough out of you." Tara said, placing her arms around Mindy and beginning to drag Mindy out.

"You two should be thanking me!"

"We'll leave you two alone now." Chad said with a smile and a wink, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.

"Remember, it's my room too!" Mindy's voice carried from the hall as Chad shut the door behind him, leaving you and Ethan alone in the quiet once again. You groaned at Mindy's comment while Ethan laughed.

Ethan flopped down on the bed, patting the spot next to him. You joined him and he wrapped his arm around like he loved to do.

The comfortable silence was broken by Ethan — it was a whisper so quiet you almost missed it.

"You're my number one," Ethan confessed. "You always have been."

"Good," you replied with a smile as you leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. "Because you're mine, too."

[redsnowdrop]

HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX - brainstorming -

To my -> F1 Masterlist <-

Here we are with the new brainstorming about the latest GP!

I think we can all agree this was the race with the worst strategies: Red Bull made Max receive an undercut; Charles was a rocket ship with hard tyres and made him pit with Lewis to put on mediums (he did more laps with the yellows and less with the withes…); Norris pits before Oscar (nonsense).

Red Bull is not the fastest car anymore, we already had 7 different winners since the beginning of the season and Norris could compete for the WDC. McLaren is for sure the fastest but its drivers are not the best on the grid. Lando and Oscar are amazing drivers, absolutely, but Norris still makes silly mistakes which a champion shouldn’t make and Piastri is still unripe (congratulations for his maiden win but he’s still very young and the journey is still very long).

In this moment we can see the difference between being the (one of the) best drivers in a good car and being a good driver in the fastest car.

Whatever Ferrari did to the car for this GP worked and it’s already something (which is actually humiliating because Ferrari, the most longed-lived and loved scuderia, is not supposed to “just do something that works well enough” but whatever). Charles is an adult driver but his mindset is not mature enough to pit on his own -Lewis, Fernando and Max have the experience and/or the right knowledge to call the pit on their own. Charles still needs more time-. He could have MAYBE scored a podium but strategies and the car didn’t help at all -in my very personal opinion-. Checking the WDC points he could still fights for the title but he would need Lando and Max to retire the car and win the next race to get close to Norris. It is basically impossible but if happens something like in Austria he would have a slight chance to compete for the title (again, almost impossible but I’m still free to dream).

Mercedes is on top, congratulations Lewis for his 200^ podium! Well done and well deserved, I can’t wait to see him wearing red next year hoping they will give him a good car! An amazing job made by Russell, amazing amazing amazing! He has WDC material but he needs a better car and maybe more mindset (but still I can see him a winner!). Also amazing job made by Perez, that was great!

I wasn’t sure if it’s ok to talk about Max behaviour but I think I will anyway. It is totally unacceptable. Lambiase, his race engineer, was right about his behaviour being childish. He’s always complaining about things when they are not as he expect them to be and always blaming other drivers whenever he’s not winning. I understand the adrenaline, the rage… drivers MUST BE ARROGANT and have the “I’m the best” mindset but this doesn’t mean they are allowed to be disrespectful nor insulting towards others. Alpine and Haas’ drivers know their cars’ limits and accepted the fact they are not racing to win a WDC nor a WCC. Being self aware or confident is not an excuse for not being wise. The incident was his fault and he already didn’t get penalties (over the years) even when he deserved them so the whole “Lewis’ fault” for the collision is absolutely ridiculous, as well as his manners.

I have found this online, IF IT’S TRUE IT IS NOT GOOD!

Aston Martin’s upgrades are working, still a long way but they managed to score a point! Stroll has done so but apparently I read online (so please correct me if this info is not true) he should have given the position back to Alonso. I’m not sure and my source wasn’t clear so correct me if you know best. But anyway congratulations to the team and good luck!

It’s race week and see you again in SPA!

xoxo

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

I love your swap au..... care to say something more about jonmartin??

I’m glad you love it! It’s been taking up half of my brain space these days, and I’ll happily talk about it.

I’ve actually been thinking about Swap!JonMartin recently so this works out well.

They took me a bit to figure out, and I had to essentially look at their canon relationship and break that down before putting it back together in this new context.

And now, to explain their AU dynamic, I’ll do my best to break it down into two of its core elements.

Starting with this:

They are pretending to be human.

This is probably one of the most important foundations, as it dictates a lot of their behaviours and mentalities. Both are fully-fledged Avatars, and neither has latched onto or tried to retain their humanity. They have drowned themselves in their patrons’ desires, and have become another part of the chain.

Jon isn’t the best at pretending he’s still human, but it’s easily played off as awkwardness and uncertainty. Martin, on the other hand, is able to blend in flawlessly, and wears his human skin well.

Arguably, the only truly human thing they have left, their only ties to the humanity they sacrificed, is each other.

And this leads into the second key point:

They love each other.

This seems like a fairly obvious one, but it’s actually a little more than that. See, in canon, JonMartin is far from a healthy relationship, not by any fault of their own, as the time that would have been spent working on their issues and developing boundaries etc, was interrupted by the apocalypse, which, honestly, they did fairly well for a new relationship. The simple fact is they love each other and want to make what they have work, and, even if it takes a while, they will try to communicate and establish their boundaries and feelings. They try.

That’s very important here.

Especially as they tend to hurt each other a lot more.

They’re all they have, and they rely on each other, and they feed their fears using each other - Martin hates being watched and seen, and Jon hates when Martin leaves. They will destroy each other from the inside out, but they love each other. Where you go I go is still very much their mentality here. To the end of the world and back.

They still originally ended up growing closer due to the typical trauma of working in the archives, albeit what they experience was different to canon, but I still need to work out the Gertrude era.

In a way, Martin also encouraged Jon’s loss of humanity, rather than prevent it.

An additional thing to mention is Martin does a lot of Jon’s dirty work for him. Unlike LonelyEyes in canon, they don’t frequently work against each other, nor do they make any bets. Martin simply does as he’s told. Jon will also provide Martin with information on people, stuff no one else would know, which gives Martin an easier time in manipulating them and isolating them. Teamwork makes the dream work?

I’ll stop there for now, lest I ramble on about them forever, because God knows I would.

[yellowkitkieran]

Afterglow (Martin Odegaard)

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: Based loosely on ‘Afterglow’ by Taylor Swift. Requested by anonymous.

Babe, you need to see this. I'm sorry. 

The second you read the message from your best friend, your heart stutters. A link comes through seconds later. Your hand shakes as you click on it and an article fills your screen. The article brings your world crashing down before you read anything past the headline. It shows your boyfriend Martin laughing with a pretty blonde woman, one hand on her hip and the other holding hers as they walk out of a nondescript building. By all accounts, it looks damning.

A fire lights in your belly, one born of jealousy rage. How dare he? After everything he'd promised you? Who does he think he is? A million questions swirl in your mind, most of them barbed and accusatory. You glance at the clock, silently thankful that Martin should be there any second and you don't have to stew on this for long. 

Everything inside you wants to smash the photos in your flat until Martin's face is nowhere to be found. Three years down the drain for what was probably a fling. It isn't your fault you don't want to fuck as much as he does! That's probably all it was too; just sex, a replacement for what you couldn't always give him. And it stings to know he'd gone and found that somewhere else. 

You hear his keys outside your front door. Mentally drawing up your walls, you remind yourself to stand strong as it swings open. "Søta? I'm- oh hey. I missed you today."

Where Martin's voice is soft, yours is hard as stone. "Oh, did you? Are you sure you aren't mistaking me for that blonde you're fucking on the side?"

All color drains from Martin's face in an instant, which tells you all you need to know. "What do you mean? I'm not- you're my one and only, you know that!"

And now he has the audacity to lie to your face. "Are you fucking kidding me? You're really gonna stand there and pretend like I don't know what's going on? I saw the article Martin!"

"What article?" Martin rakes a nervous hand through his hair, voice raw and confused but you don't care. "Søta I swear-"

"Don't call me that!" You shove at Martin's chest with all your strength, breaking the loose grip he has on your arms. You feel like a cornered stallion, bucking and kicking because your heart is beating so wildly you can't hear anything over its roar in your ears. 

"The evidence is right here," you say, shoving your phone in his face. "Are you gonna tell me this photo is fake? Staged? 'Martin Ødegaard caught out and about with a new girl'? How do you think that makes me feel, that I have to find out about this through my friend? I'm an idiot!"

Martin made a promise that he would never, ever hurt you, and now he's done the worst possible thing you can do to another human. You trusted him with your fragile, taped together heart that you feared had been broken one too many times to be functional. But he had nurtured you, planted seeds of affection and helped you learn what real love looks like. Now he's ripped the rug out from under you and left you damaged. 

Martin stands stoic in the face of your hurricane of emotion. His eyes are red rimmed but other than that, he shows nothing on his face. "It's not true," he whispers, pleading with you to believe him. "You have to know it's not real. You know I would never do something like that."

You shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest, "I can't listen to your excuses Martin. Please go."

Martin's face crumbles like your heart. He reaches for you but you step away, unwilling to let his touch bend your perception of events in his favor. One touch and you'll be done- your confidence will dissolve and you'll fall into his arms and let him hurt you again and again.

"I love you."

Your hands fly up to your ears like a child, protecting yourself from his words. You squeeze your eyes shut. You try to block out the way you can still feel him standing a few feet from you. When you finally open them some minutes later, Martin is finally gone. A folded slip of white paper sits on the floor where his feet were, but you don't touch it. 

The best thing you've ever had is gone, and you're afraid you'll never find something so sweet again. 

*********

Søta can we please talk?

I miss you.

Please just let me explain, I swear it isn't what you think it is

You refuse to respond to a single one of Martin's messages. You've been ignoring them for days and they have begun to pile up in your inbox, and still you refuse to touch them. You remain firm in your position that he'd done you wrong, that damning photo splashed across tabloids everywhere. He'd embarrassed you- how hard was it to break up with someone before moving on?

There's one singular image of Martin that comes out of Arsenal's training all week. He isn't looking at the camera but his posture alone is enough to tell you how heavy his heart is. You hate seeing him like that, despite everything. It isn't like your love for him evaporated; you still feel the same for him and seeing him so blue hurts.

Something constricts in your chest and for the first time in six days, and after much internal debate, you allow yourself to search for his name on Instagram. 

And it's then that you see her post explaining the story. It's a short reel and your curiosity gets the better of you- why would Martin choose her over you, the woman he claimed to love until the end of time? 

"Hey guys, I just wanted to hop on and address those images of me and Martin Ødegaard that have been circulating online. First and foremost, nothing happened! I literally fell flat on my face seconds before that as we were coming out the door- he was helping me walk in those stupid tall heels that I shouldn't have been in the first place. 

"I swear that's all it was- we both had photo shoots in the same building that day and he'd stopped to help me because I was struggling. I hadn't even met him before that day, and the only reason I know who he is, is thanks to everyone online!"

You lock your phone and set it on the table, completely stunned. Oh, you'd fucked up big time. Leaving your phone behind you grab your keys and your jacket, heart pounding as you rush out the door. 

You have to see him. You have to set things right. 

You make it to his house in record time. The weather must pick up and feed off your mood because just as you pull up the skies open up, rain pouring down from a suddenly cloudy sky. 

"Fuck it, let's go," you mumble to yourself, hopelessly holding your hands over your head as you run for his door. You knock frantically, praying he's home. You hadn't stopped to check what day it is- was he at recovery? Training? Was it a match day-

The door swings open and you're greeted by an exhausted looking Norwegian. Martin drums up a half smile, shifting his weight to his right foot, "Hey."

Seeing him now, everything comes crashing down. You should've let him speak before just barreling ahead. It wasn't right for you to shut him out the way you had. He deserved a chance to defend himself and you'd been so terrified of being hurt that you'd jumped to conclusions. 

You throw your arms around his neck and pull him out into the rain for a fierce hug, not caring that you're soaked to the bone. You bury your face in his shoulder as he instinctively soothes a hand over your back, unsure what was happening but hating seeing you upset all the same. 

"Shh søta it's alright… what's happened? Do you want to come inside?"

You pull back to look up at him, threading your fingers in the hair on the back of his head. "No- Martin I'm so sorry for everything. I should've let you speak instead of just accusing you of something I knew you wouldn't ever do. And I know you probably can't forgive me but I'm gonna do my best to earn it as best I can."

Martin smiles and brushes your sopping hair off your forehead. The tenderness in the gesture carries the weight of a thousand words and instantly you feel lighter. "I was never upset with you, and there's nothing to forgive. I don't blame you for reacting the way you did. I'm just glad you're here now… but I am gonna take you inside before you get sick and I have to take care of you."

You smile, silently grateful for him and the fact that the rain hides your tears. "I love you Mar, I'm glad you were home. I didn't really have a plan, I just knew I needed to speak with you."

Martin takes your hand and leads you inside before he says anything else. "You know where the spare key is anyway. I wouldn't put it past you to wait here and ambush me when I finally did get home." Martin kneels in front of you, allowing you to hold his shoulder for balance while he takes off your wet shoes and sets them aside. Then he starts on your jeans, unbuttoning them and working them down your legs, though the wet denim provides a challenge, "also, let's just put this all behind us okay? I want to forget it ever happened."

Standing before him half dressed, you smile at the man in front of you. No one has ever knelt before you, and certainly no one has ever looked at you the way Martin is now. His face is open and vulnerable, a beautiful sight to behold as rainwater drips down his cheeks and off his chin to dot the carpet under your feet. You place your hand on his jaw and guide him to his feet, pulling him in for a wet kiss as his hands find your hips.

"Just say you love me," you murmur against him, his warmth warding off the cold from your soaked skin. 

"I love you," he whispers into your mouth. "And I think we need a warm shower."

You pull back to search his expression, trying to determine his mood. "Together?" You ask tentatively, because you're not ready to be apart from him just yet.

Martin offers you a cheeky grin and grabs your bum, "together. Definitely together."

[pit-2-podium]

Imola qualifying highlights

Q3

Russell out with a strong start

Ocon has set the best time so far? beating a Mercedes and Aston martin - nvm Charles is back on top

The Williams seems to be having problems on over-steer sending then into gravel - everyone is but with the William's its more noticeable

Everyone got all excited about the redbulls not liking soft tires then max immediately sets the fastest time

Pierre Gasly setting good times

Oscar Piastri is looking good with those upgrades

Mclaren 1-2

Alonso almost shakes hands with the wall again - we know your a swiftie Alonso but you do not need to keep hinting at her lyrics

Hulkenburg last to first??

Oscar Piastri almost guaranteed a penalty after traffic with Magnussen - not really his fault but going to mess up his race

Out

20 - Alonso

19 - Magnussen

18 - Zhou

17 - Sargent

16 - Bottas

Q2

lewis going where is everyone??

they really are just kinda hanging out

max setting his time as always

Were actually seeing qualifying battles!!

Yuki I don't know what you are on good sir but keep fucking doing it

Yuki Tsunoda is ahead of Max fucking Verstappen on merit alone in P2!!!

"Pasta makes ya faster"

This really is Yuki's origin circuit he knows it, and its paying off

Mercedes you really need to figure your issue out

hulkenburg really is just doing it

redbull what are you doing to checo...

Sergio Perez is out in q2.... in his words "what a mess"

Danny Ric into Q1

Out

15 - Gasly

14 - Albon

13 - Stroll

12 - Ocon

11 -Perez

Q1

Max making his come back - what the fuck how did he go from a mess to hitting records

McLaren is doing better on turns and apexing vs the redbull

hyping of the ferrari's

its failing - maybe not - they just real suck at sector 1

Max setting fastest sector 1 & 2 & op and he just set fastest lap

Oscar gets so close to getting P1

Max Verstappen is the second man in history to get 8 pole positions in a row

Oscar really is showing off just how good he is

Final positions (until we get the verdict on oscar)

10 - hulkenburg

9 -riccardo

8 - hamilton

7 - tsunoda

6 - Russell

5 - Sainz

4- Leclerc

3 - Lando Norris

2 - Oscar Piastri

1 - Max Verstappen

After Quali thoughts

Oscar saying he thinks McLaren may be fighting Max tomorrow?

Max and Oscar debriefing - with hand examples and hands on hips

[dizzyduck44]

How none of this is Zak Brown’s fault

There seems to be this narrative that all of McLaren’s woes start and and end with Zak. He has become for a lot of newer fans (and Aussies) the villain of F1.

Thing is I’ve been a fan long enough to remember the rise, the fall, the huge rise and the epic fall and now the climb back of this team. Even I used to refer to my team’s car as a milk float. So let’s put this all into context.

It’s funny because I remember an interview Zak did about 4 years ago. He talked about when he arrived at McLaren, Alonso was the only one who was willing to tell him straight. Under Ron Dennis and Martin Whitmarsh the team had ceased to work. Every department worked independently and acted as if they did not need to answer to another. Some department leaders wouldn’t even turn up for meetings as they felt they were working on the most important aspect of the car and everyone should come to them. Case in point, the chassis team felt that Honda should be doing as they say not them adapting to what Honda needed. Some people had felt stifled by Dennis’ control and others refused to move away from his rigid methods. It resulted in a car that was effectively being built by 8 different teams. The cash flow was in a terrible state and no one was willing to go and find sponsors (some still believed that as a historic team the sponsors should be coming to them), money was being wasted in areas and no one was brave enough to cut it off and whilst most knew the infrastructure at MTC needed updating, again there was this attitude of “we are McLaren, we shouldn’t have to beg”.

You can’t deny in 2023 that a lot of that has been sorted. The team structure was changed under Seidl and now again under Stella, once to let’s make them understand we are one team and now we are one team but we need specialists to help each department. Zak found investors and sponsors that solved the cash flow problems, in fact helped the team avoid bankruptcy. The infrastructure is modernised and nearly up and running. The marketability of the team is great, they have two of the best young talents on the grid and arguably they have taken McLaren back to its roots, racing in multiple series.

This time instead of digging themselves back into the hole they had just climbed out of, mistakes have been identified early and changes made. Which is what is needed. And 2 years in the history of an F1 team really is no time at all. Note how long Williams are taking to recover.

Carlos, Lando and Oscar have all been smart signings that have worked. For some reason just because Daniel couldn’t adapt some still act as if it was everyone else’s problem.

Ricciardo and James Keys were not what was best for the long term future of the team and if you want to win races, they are ultimately the decisions that need to be made.

We also need to stop acting as if those that Zak took over from weren’t the reason McLaren were down the back of the grid with a car that didn’t work and no money.

We can all marvel at the special designed floor tiles at the MTC that mean that they all run in the same lines throughout the facility and that every corridor is exactly the same width of tiles across, just as Ron Dennis insisted, but ultimately that is not going to fix their DRS problem.

Personally I would rather hear Zak say we know that isn’t good enough and upgrades are coming than Whitmarsh’s fateful “we make the best chassis on the grid, it’s the engines that have a problem” brag, because at least it shows the team aren’t living in La La land.

[cult-of-the-eye]

MAG 82 let's gooooo

Ok we're gonna get some answers as to what the fuck is happening here nice nice

DAISY MY BELOVED

God I love scary women

Martin's more clever than people give him credit for I think, he immediately notices something is up with this new case and the way daisy is handling it even if he doesn't know what to do about it

He seems like a huge mess my poor dude, he's desperate to believe its not Jon who killed leitner but he's running out of options and answers and hes going about it the right way, by trying to involve Tim and talk about it to figure out a plan but Tim's too wrapped up in his hatred of the situation to try and get out of it

I love him so much I understand the ACAB Martin memes now

Underneath it all, he's just as desperate as desperate as Tim and as much as it seems like he's trying to deal with it constructively, he's putting his faith in the police by sticking with his Michael and Helen story even though they've literally been like yeah we can do whatever we want here

Omg I forgot basira quit!! It seems like she cared about her

Martin K Blackwood being told "everyone I've talked to says you and him were close" literally giggling and kicking his feet

Were they close? I feel like she was mostly saying that to get a reaction from him but I guess Martin did do his little Jon check ups so there's that

Imagine getting framed for someone's murder and then finding out your coworkers were all like yeah bitch had no friends...

NO WAIT THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT SASHA OH MY GOD

TIMOTHY I LOVE YOU

ELIAS MY BELOVED

When he gets back??? What do you mean by that Elias???

I'm so confused why is he being terrible at framing him?? Like just fucking say he did it, why all the dancing around like yeah he could never kill someone but I hope he could??

WHATS SO FUCKING FUNNY ELIAS

YES DAISY DRAG HIM

(although I feel like Elias gets stronger every time he's called a weird little freak)

ALICE???????

Oh my god I understand now we do know why she's called daisy and it is sad

Oh my god I can feel her rage through the screen

Ha Elias calling it a strange musty place as if he isn't the head of this strange musty place

Oh he's such a bastard

STATEMENT NEVER GIVEN OH THAT FUCKS SEVERELY

Oh my god daisy backstory

Oh my god I can imagine how fucking shitty it must feel to have your story be told by this random weirdo freak who absolutely shouldn't know this and the dissonance of him speaking as you, saying how you felt and saying the words "I like to feel strong. To be in control", while wrenching the control from your very hands

Oh my god I could rave about the "that's why it was my fault" "it wasn't my fault" FOR HOURS. Does Elias want her to think it was her fault? I don't think so, cause the statements tend to be truths, so I guess daisy actually does believe it's her fault underneath it all but has attempted to convince herself over the years it wasn't actually her fault

So then feeling that ripped away at that moment must've been fucking terrifying, like you've been slowly plastering a wall over and over again over years and then someone comes and bulldozes it

OMG YOU CANT KNOW THAT. she's accepted that he's telling the truth and that he does know and that she did feel that excitement, so she might be very quickly adapting to what she thinks might be the best course of action, which is going along with Elias or she refuses to accept that the event was her fault but she has no problem accepting that she felt excited seeing the bodies

I guess accepting it was her fault would be a sign of vulnerability right but accepting the excitement is a show of a kind of secretive power

He can't know how terrible she is cause then the secretive bit is taken away, which then takes away from her power

Her whole thing is that she can do whatever she wants when the police department doesn't care, but Elias knows and is threatening to tell them and therefore remove her power

Oh my god she's so interesting I want to study her under a microscope

Jesus Christ that's fucking horrifying

"you've made your point" god she wants it to stop but she's still keeping up pretences of power, she's flipping between horror and fury in response to Elias

It's so interesting the power dynamics here, it's two people used to being the most powerful in the room, one because of the lack other people's knowledge of what she does and the other because of his knowledge of what other people do and in this scenario, Elias obviously wins out and it's clearly the first time she's encountered this kind of struggle and therefore lost a struggle

Which adds to her violent and terrified reaction

WHY DID SHE KILL HIM??? WHAT

SHES KILLED MORE PEOPLE???

Id let her do whatever she wanted to me

"Does close the case and move on" mean pin it on Jon??

KILL HIM QUICKLY???? WHAT

"there's not telling what he might be capable of"????? BITCH YOU SAID HE DIDNT HAVE THE STOMACH FOR MURDER

WHAT

Why doesnt daisy notice his obvious lying???

Is she so rattled by him giving her statement???

YESSSSS I HOPE SHE KILLS HIM I SUPPORT WOMENS WRONGS

God damn that was such a badass way of saying that

TIM NO

I think part of Tim does believe Jon didn't kill Sasha

Tim just wants Martin to show a little bit of anger at the situation, to show that he's not alone in feeling the injustice, cause I guess to him it seems like Martins just taken it all in his stride, he's just been like yeah this is happening now (maybe it's a different type of trauma response? Having to move on cause what other choice is there) which totally makes sense for Tim

Oh god SASHAAAAAAAA

Hmm wonder what could've been said for Michael to come across as "Working with Jon" as opposed to "stabbed him in the shoulder and has been a generally nuisance all season"

[elisysd]

10. And isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

Summary : Kyle Dawson would never be more than a childhood crush to Romy Schumacher and she had made her peace with that fact a long time ago. But when a drunken night leads her waking up next to him, new and old feelings come back to the surface and what started as a mistake quickly becomes an habit. Even if she swore to herself that she would never fall again for the world champion, her heart has other plans. After all, the heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Invisible String - Taylor Swift

She loved her best friend to death. There were not a lot of things she wasn’t ready to do for her. So when Julia had asked her if she could spend the night with her, she immediately accepted. She could see the distress in Julia’s behavior, who was doing a poor job hiding it and no matter the amount of jokes she tried to make her break, she wasn’t saying a thing. She helped her settle down, showed her her room and left her pretending to have a few commitments to honor.

And she had. She was supposed to meet with her team but it had been cut short. When she finally was free, she still had a good hour to kill before finding Julia. She wandered in the lobby and in the lounge of the hotel where she noticed Kyle, reading. They had not really talked since her confession. She carefully approached him.

“Whatcha reading?” she asked, swinging from on foot to the other.

“How to be a heartbreaker for dummies,” he replied, matter of factly, to the point she almost thought he was serious. “I’m joking. What are you doing here?”

“I’m bored. I’m supposed to meet Julia in a while. She is staying with me. Trouble in paradise. Do you know something?”

“They got into a fight. Something involving Martin. Ethan is jealous.”

“But why would he? Julia chose him, she is his girlfriend. I still have a hard time coming to terms with that, by the way. It was so unexpected! Did you know that Ethan liked her? I sure thought she hated him.”

“Well… I had my suspicions.”

“You always see right through people.”

“Only the ones I’m very close to,” he said.

“That's why I wish we weren’t not that close,” she smiled, putting a strand of hair behind her ear. “How are your eyes?”

“Good. No problems since I’ve started wearing glasses. I’m fine, Romy.”

“Good, good,” she said, fidgeting with her bracelets. “I won’t bother you more…”

“Stop acting awkward around me,” he closed his book and stared at her.

“I’m not awkward. Okay, fine, I am. I don’t know how to act around you,” she confessed.

Kyle put his book on the side and motioned her to come closer.

“Ask me something. Anything,” he said.

“Why?”

“I want to get to know the girl I have sex with. And I mean, really get to know her. I don't know your favorite color, or your favorite dish or your favorite thing to do when you’re not racing.”

“You know deeper things,” she refuted.

“But not the basics.”

She sighed, and leaned on the couch.

“Emerald green, anything Italian, horse riding. It calms me down. Have you ever been in detention?”

“Once,” he laughed.

“No way! Saint Kyle was once a bad boy!” she teased him.

“In my defense, it’s Ludwig’s fault. We were in the same boarding school and he was seeing this guy at some point. I was supposed to check that no one would come close to his room while he was with him and I got caught by a supervisor. It was past curfew times,” he explained.

“You are full of surprises.”

“A bummer that you don’t want to discover them all.”

They chatted for a little while longer until it was time for Romy to get back to her room, Julia wasn’t going to be gone for long and maybe she had already come back. But her room was still empty when she opened it. She texted her friend to ask if she preferred room service or if she wanted to eat outside and explore Singapore with her.  Waiting for her friend, she had time to take a shower and study her notes taken during her simulator sessions and when finally the door unlocked and revealed her best friend she was ecstatic. She asked all about her day and when Julia confessed she had spent it with Martin, Romy saw red.

“Martin? Why?”

“Because he asked if he could come…” Julia stuttered.

“And you said yes?”

She couldn’t believe that her friend would be so naive. Or dumb. Maybe both. She was playing with the feelings of two guys who clearly didn’t ask for it and Romy could already see the outcome, a lot of broken hearts and broken trust. She had experienced it. She had cried about it. 

“Julia, you're entertaining his feelings. That’s not fair. Not to him or to Ethan who, then again, is your boyfriend, your lover, the guy you’re sleeping with! Fuck! Stop being blind and oblivious.”

She could see that it had struck down a nerve. And when Julia looked at her with pleading eyes, she could see an insane amount of guilt in them. And when she confessed that they were not really dating, a lot of things made more sense in Romy’s head. But still, not everything was adding up. She had seen the way Ethan was looking at her best friend and the way Julia talked about him, even if she would deny and pretend otherwise. If Julia had managed to fool her best friend, maybe it meant that this relationship was not completely fake. And Romy couldn’t wait to see how it would all unfold. But seeing her best friend so lost and confused pained her. She sat down next to her and threw an arm around her shoulder.

“Martin is your comfort zone and Ethan is not. You know what they say about comfort zones, kitten.”

Hearing herself say those words echoed on a deeper level than what she wanted to and made her think about her own situation. She stood out and smiled, trying to not show how disturbed she was.

“I’m leaving you alone with your thoughts. For what it is worth, I think you should talk to Ethan, it would help you sort it all out. I won’t be mad if when I come back you are not there. And if it helps you in any way, I’m team Ethan.”

She needed some fresh air.

Her feet carried her to the empty rooftop. It was late, she wasn’t expecting to see anyone up there. She leaned against the barrier, letting the humid and hot wind of Singapore wash over her skin and sighed. She was a goddamn hypocrite. A freaking miss know-it-all, unable to look at her own reflection in a mirror. Who was she to talk about love and relationship, anyway? She was not even able to apply the advice she was damn proud to give to Julia. Because after all, she was in her own comfort zone. Hiding behind the no feelings and no strings attached excuse. She was burying her head in the sand, she knew it. She felt it. Because if she was one hundred percent honest with herself, feelings were already there, and strings were tying her to Kyle. And no matter how much she was convincing herself otherwise, no matter how much she was fighting against it, no matter how much she was pretending, she had fallen for him a long time ago and she had never moved on. But how could she tell him that without making a mess of herself? She couldn’t just go to him and say ‘hey, I’ve changed my mind’. He deserved better. He deserved someone reliable, someone who was not changing her mind whenever times were rough. He deserved someone who would choose him all the time. But selfishly, despite everything, she didn’t want to see him move on. She was stuck. And it was cruel.

There could only be one person who could help her sort out this mess and she was so glad to hear the familiar voice picking up her call despite the hour.

“Romy?”

“Seb… I’m sorry to bother, it’s just… I’m too much in my own head and I need someone to help me sort everything out.”

“What is going on?” he asked, suddenly worried.

“How messy would it be PR wise if two drivers from different teams were dating?”

“Are you asking hypothetically?”

“I don’t know… I’m lost and confused and I had a discussion with Julia about her relationship and it made me wonder…”

“I think I know who you’re talking about. A certain double world champion, right?”

“How did you…” she stuttered, taken aback.

“I think even a blind person could see the chemistry you two share. What is going on?”

“Don’t tell mom and dad, this discussion stays between us. I’ve started seeing Kyle casually a few months ago now and…  He is perfect. He knows me so well, almost by heart. I can’t hide with him, he sees right through me and it’s so damn scary and at the same time so thrilling. He wants more. He tells me he can wait, that he is patient enough to let me go at my own pace. But I know that I’m breaking his heart, I just see it in his eyes. And I feel so fucking guilty about that because he doesn’t deserve it and at the same time I don’t know how to stop being a coward. I don’t know how to let go. I’m so lost, Seb,”  she only registered that she was crying when she felt a tear hitting the back of her hand.

“You have all the right to be scared after what you’ve been through in the past. But you have to learn to rely on other people, Romy.”

“I rely on you. I trust you.”

“It’s different. I’ve known you ever since you were a baby,” he argued.

“It's scary to fall.”

“He will catch you, Romy. This guy will always catch you. Do you love him?”

“A part of me will always love him,” she confessed.

“The question now is, how big is that part of you?”

And she knew. She just wasn’t ready to say it out loud.

She had managed to qualify P2. The car felt amazing and Lamborghini seemed to have a tough weekend, which was putting her in the best position to finally deliver. She managed to have a perfect start, putting her provisional leader of the Singapore Grand Prix until a safety car was deployed after a crash involving Ethan. She slowed down, Elijah in her rear view mirror, waiting for the moment she would make a mistake.

“Clean restart, Romy. Focus,”  her race engineer said on her radio.

She knew what she had to do and when it was finally safe for everyone to race, she attacked in the next corner, Elijah chasing her in her DRS zone. 

“Good, Romy. Keep pushing.”

“How are the tires?”

“You do an amazing job. Try to get him out of DRS range.”

And she managed to do it. She was flying, brushing past the walls, optimizing the car’s performance and the millisecond she could find. She was leading. Her first win was only twenty laps away. She could do it, she knew it. She would finally shut everyone up.

“Distance to Elijah?”

“12.3. Do you think you can increase it to 15? We want to avoid an undercut.”

“I don’t think I can. I know I can,” she stated.

They made her pit three laps after and the pitstop was brilliantly realized, making her come back in P1. Right in front of Elijah who had changed his tires two laps before. But she would not let him add pressure on her, she wouldn’t make any mistakes. So, she pushed like never before. But Elijah was now in her DRS, forcing her to aggressively defend. Only five laps to go. Four. Three. Two. 

She felt the mistake coming before it actually happened. She had been too aggressive on the curbs, making her lock the rear and slide slightly. A stupid mistake that wouldn’t have had any consequences if it had happened a few laps ago but was devastating approaching the final lap. She angrily saw Elijah passing her by and with him the dream of hearing the German anthem on the podium.

“Scheiße,” she swore.

Crossing the checkered flag, not even the nice words of her engineer telling her how amazing she had been and how she had secured some important points for the team could erase the disappointment, the anger and bitterness she was feeling. Nothing could make her feel better. Not even the hug from her team principal telling her she would win this year, he could feel it. She didn’t want to win later, she wanted to win now. Coming inside the coolroom, she saw Elijah already there, as well as Sam, the Mercedes driver, arriving third. She smiled tightly and sat down on her chair.

“Don’t worry, little girl, maybe after all you’re not made to win a race,” Elijah smirked.

“Little girl? Who are you calling little girl?” she replied, dagger in her eyes.

“I think maybe it’s time for you to realize that you don’t have what it takes to be a winner. You need balls for that job.” he added, eyes her up and down, licking his lips in  a way it made, at the same time, her blood boil and shivers running down her spine.

She didn’t have the time to say more as they were called on the podium. She barely was able to focus on the faces in front of her. She noticed Julia’s proud smile as she was clinging onto Ethan’s arm and Seb’s face with her team. But the familiar face she could have used at this time wasn’t there. But she pretended, she swallowed her pride and when champagne was sprayed she tried her best to look joyful. She couldn’t wait to leave Singapore. 

Kyle’s weekend had been the worst for a long time. As much as he wanted to blame the car’s performance he couldn’t entirely. His migraines had come back despite thoroughly wearing his glasses to the point he had asked for an emergency appointment with his doctor to check how it was evolving. Maybe it was nothing, maybe it was the traveling and how Singapore was a tough track for the drivers. But he wouldn’t take any risks. He still had Japan and China to race and an afternoon visiting a zoo to go with his friends. He hoped a good sleep would help.

Romy was already at the airport when he arrived. Her face was unreadable and he quickly rushed to her.

“Hey, miss P2, how are you doing?”

“I wanted to win. I should have won. I was this close…” she whined and he threw an arm around her shoulder, kissing the side of her head as she snuggled into him. “I’m still prone to making mistakes when I’m under too much pressure. I’m not like you.”

“You just need to know how to manage. You were leading, Romy. I hate to say it because I don’t want to sound like I’m undermining you, but you lack experience in that area. It will get better with time.”

“Well, let me lead so I’ll have the necessary experience,” she shrugged.

“In your dreams. But what we can do, is that you can come by to my place during the next break and I can train you. Give you tips… be your own personal teacher.”

“I think I would like that. Thank you,” she smiled, her gaze falling on his lips and he was sure that if it hadn’t been for the voices coming from the infernal duo, bickering from afar, she would have kissed him. As soon as Ethan appeared, Romy let go of Kyle and went to her best friend. His face must have betrayed his feelings as Ethan gave him a knowing look, eyes darting between Romy and himself. The group chatted until it was time for them to go to their gate. Kyle stood up, maybe too quickly as he felt the room spinning, his headache amplifying and his vision getting blurry. He felt a hand around his forearm and Ethan’s voice next to him.

“Bro? You’re good?”

“Yeah, it’s just that I must have stayed under the neon a bit too much. And it’s getting kind of blurry.”

“Do you want me to do something? Do you want me to get Romy?”

It didn’t even phase Kyle to hear his friend mentioning her. He refused, saying he didn’t want her to worry and reassured his friend saying that he had an appointment with his doctor soon. He could feel Ethan wanting to argue but his serious voice dissuaded the Maserati’s driver to add anything. He felt ashamed, he hadn't certainly planned to show how vulnerable he could get in front of his friends. They didn’t need that. So when he sat down in the plane, he put his headphones on. He soon was joined by Romy who sat next to him and in front of Julia and Ethan. He felt the blonde’s hand lacing her fingers to his, squeezing them, silently asking if he was okay. He squeezed her hand back, telling her everything was fine. But when he intercepted her sad smile on him, he knew that he could try to act like he was all good, he wasn’t fooling her. And that thought only almost made him regret having let her take such an important place in his life.

Author's note: Remember how I said that the previous chapter was my favorite one? Well scratch that, this one is.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist: @smoooothoperator-admin

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

All my fic brain has been hijacked

The Magnus Archives AU. - Jon/Martin friends since teeny-tiny days - Professional Photographer Jon, jetting around the world and getting The Best Rarest Pics - Professional baker Martin, who survives off his YouTube channel - Featuring Vast!Jon and Lonely!Martin - Shenanigans - Two idiots who needs their heads thocked together - Angst - More Shenanigans - Angst and eventual happy ending but we are gonna have to EARN it, folks

Anyway, here's a snippet. Enjoy!

Er. "Enjoy" being relative. This would be where Jon is marked by the Vast.

I am so mean to my babies...

-----------------------

Jon never knew it could be so cold.

It’s so cold that he can’t feel the metal impaling his side, keeping him trapped.

So cold he can’t feel his fingers, his toes, his back against the snow, though he hears it crunching beneath him.

So cold his eyes feel like thin sheets of ice form over them between every blink.

It seems unfair that anything this cold could still hurt.

And it does. A deep ache through his whole body, probably caused by his circulatory system’s desperate attempt to constrict everything and keep him alive.

Pointless. What a stupid biological response.

I told you, Martin, he’d said one day, when Martin’s latest muffins had burned his hand and Jon had tenderly wrapped it. Our bodies are stupid. They didn’t evolve right. What’s the point of hands being so vulnerable to fire, anyway? They should be more heat resistant than anything else we grow!

Weird, the things that come to you when you’re dying.

Jon tries to move again, but at last, his body has stopped obeying him. He cannot even seem to breathe deeply anymore.

The jagged metal that pierced him - penetrated, bursting out the other side like some weird, red birth  - is still there, a weird and uncomfortable pressure, but at least it no longer hurts the way it first did.

Jon is trapped, staring at endless sky, like a bug pinned on its back.

A groan from somewhere behind him is no comfort. He doesn’t know how the rest of the team is - besides dying or dead - but he was the only one, after the crash, that called hello.

And help.

And Please, I don’t want to die.

The sky did not care.

Though now, it seems to listen.

Blood loss, he thinks, because it has to be, because the sky is atmospheric gasses and radiation and gravity, not a thing that can curve down toward you like a hand in a big blue mitten.

It’s terrifying, this hallucination.

He keeps staring, still.

He’d stared at the sky when the plane’s first engine went out, when they were still over Xi’an, and there was time to turn back.

He’d stared at the sky when the second engine went, somewhere over Chengdu, and the pilot’s rapid, angry Mandarin failed to get a response on the radio.

He’d stared when the third engine went, and everyone panicked, and - trying not to drown in sound of the people he’d lived with and loved for three years crying shouting and praying and pleading - pushed his mind and his gaze and his self out toward that perfect, thin horizon, instead of anticipating his horrible, flaming, crushing death.

He does not remember when the fourth failed. He’d stopped listening.

And when he saw the white, jagged mountain coming at the plane so fast, too fast, like a fist, all he could do was curl in a ball and close his eyes.

This’ll cost National Rage at least 6k, he thinks in a daze, tallying up the cameras, the hard drives, the lights, the mics, the various equipment his team had carried safely through four continents and twenty-eight countries.

What a weird thing to think.

Jon does not want to die.

“Martin,” he whispers, and tastes blood as his lips crack.

He wishes…

They should have kissed. He’s a moron.

My fault, he thinks, but has no strength to laugh.

His eyes will no longer close. All he can see is blue.

Gravity feels reversed. Like he’s falling up, somehow, away from the world, spinning without moving at all.

Maybe the sky will swallow him.

Maybe he’d like it to.

It seems… a peaceful way to be eaten.

Jon stares at the sky, and stops fighting to breathe.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 1/5

Book Blurb:

A BEST SUMMER READ: The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Time, Vulture, Esquire, Boston Globe, Elle, Town & Country, Seattle Times, New York Post, Lit Hub, Cosmopolitan, Minneapolis Star Tribune, Paste, BiblioLifestyle, E! Online, AARP, BookBub, BookRiot “For anyone who’s ever craved a seat at the Round Table. Utterly enchanting.” —Rebecca Yarros, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Fourth Wing and Iron Flame “If you love King Arthur as much as I do, you’ll love Lev Grossman’s The Bright Sword, a fresh and engrossing take on the Matter of Britain featuring a colorful cast of Round Table knights who don’t often get as much story time as they deserve. The creator of The Magicians has woven another spell.” —George R. R. Martin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of A Game of Thrones The #1 New York Times bestselling author of the Magicians trilogy returns with a triumphant reimagining of the King Arthur legend for the new millennium

A gifted young knight named Collum arrives at Camelot to compete for a spot on the Round Table, only to find that he’s too late. The king died two weeks ago at the Battle of Camlann, leaving no heir, and only a handful of the knights of the Round Table survive.

They aren’t the heroes of legend, like Lancelot or Gawain. They’re the oddballs of the Round Table, from the edges of the stories, like Sir Palomides, the Saracen Knight, and Sir Dagonet, Arthur’s fool, who was knighted as a joke. They’re joined by Nimue, who was Merlin’s apprentice until she turned on him and buried him under a hill. Together this ragtag fellowship will set out to rebuild Camelot in a world that has lost its balance.

But Arthur’s death has revealed Britain’s fault lines. God has abandoned it, and the fairies and monsters and old gods are returning, led by Arthur’s half-sister Morgan le Fay. Kingdoms are turning on each other, warlords lay siege to Camelot and rival factions are forming around the disgraced Lancelot and the fallen Queen Guinevere. It is up to Collum and his companions to reclaim Excalibur, solve the mysteries of this ruined world and make it whole again. But before they can restore Camelot they’ll have to learn the truth of why the lonely, brilliant King Arthur fell, and lay to rest the ghosts of his troubled family and of Britain’s dark past.

The first major Arthurian epic of the new millennium, The Bright Sword is steeped in tradition, full of duels and quests, battles and tournaments, magic swords and Fisher Kings. It also sheds a fresh light on Arthur’s Britain, a diverse, complex nation struggling to come to terms with its bloody history. The Bright Sword is a story about imperfect men and women, full of strength and pain, who are looking for a way to reforge a broken land in spite of being broken themselves.

Review:

A new take on the Arthurian round table but with a bunch of misfits and underdogs. King Arthur has died and now the round table is in shambles. A young knight named Collum is desperate to get a seat at the round table... and he's lied and killed his way into Camelot... but what is he to do now that Arthur is gone. With only the oddballs of the Round table left such as Sir Palomides, the Saracen Knight, and Sir Dagonet, Arthur’s fool, who was knighted as a joke and Nimue, Merlin's apprentice who turned on him..... things are about to get a little hectic. Collum and his companions are determined to reclaim Excalibur and solve the mysteries while also facing off against all the faeries, monsters, and old gods returning with Morgan le Fay as their leader. This is the start in a new series and a new take on the Arthurian story. This new take on the classic story is definitely an interesting one but I just don't think it was for me. I was really hoping I would like it more but I just found it kind of boring overall and just a slog to get through. I would however recommend it for fans of Arthurian stories just to read it and see if they do like it. I love Arthurian stories but this particular one was a bit of a miss for me.

Release Date: July 16,2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and PENGUIN GROUP Viking | Viking for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[sunnyie-eve]

14 | Save him

Series: Indispensable | Teen Wolf

Paring:  (Stiles Stilinski x OFC Martin)

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Might be a few mistakes

| MASTERLIST |

~~~

For school Julia's mom drove her to school and when she dropped her off Stiles was with Scott so when Julia got out of the car she walks past them.

"She can't see me with Stiles." She says so Scott could hear her.

Stiles watches Julia's mom drive off then looks at Scott confused, "She's not allowed to be seen with you." Scott tells him.

"What? Just me? Not you too?" Stiles heads inside to their lockers hoping Julia will be there. "So you aren't allowed to be around me but not Scott?"

"Pretty much. She said it's your fault so that's why. She doesn't care for you." Julia says opening her locker.

"Well, I mean, yeah but still."

"Stiles, when she's not around don't worry." She laughs, "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me." She smiles getting her stuff heading off.

Scott comes up behind smiling at his best friend, "The thought of her not being around you anymore bothers you."

Stiles turns around, "Well yeah, she's my friend."

"That's the only reason?"

"Scott, not this again." Stiles huffs walking off.

"Keep telling yourself that."

During the day, Allison asks Julia to join her in the library so the cameras don't think it's weird she's by herself talking alone while Scott is on the other side of the bookshelf.

"It's everything Lydia can translate. And trust me, she was very confused." Allison says as Julia opens a book looking through it.

"Yeah, what'd you tell her?" Scott asks.

"That we were part is an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures." Allison says making Scott and her slightly laugh.

"I am part of an online gaming community that battles mythical creatures." Stiles and Julia say together then look at each other reaching to fist bump.

"Okay, does it say how to find out who's controlling him?" Scott asks.

"Not really. But Stiles was right about the murderers. It calls the Kanima a weapon of vengeance. There's a story in there about this South America priest who uses the Kanima to excute murderers in his village."

"All right, see? So maybe it's not all that bad." Stiles says.

"Until the bond grew strong enough that it killed whoever he wanted it to." Allison adds.

"All bad, all very, very bad."

"Here's the thing though. The Kanima's actually supposed to be a werewolf. But it can't be..." Allison stops so Scott reads it.

"Until it resolves that in its past which manifested it."

"Okay, if that means that Jackson could use a few thousand hours of therapy. I could've told you that myself." Stiles speaks up.

"What if it has something to do with his parents? His real parents." Allison asks while Julia leaves the library.

"So you got into trouble with Jackson and have a stay a certain amount of feet from him? What the hell, Julia." Lydia finds her sister.

"I don't care to be honest. I'm 100% okay with staying far away from Jackson."

"Julia that's not the point." Lydia huffs.

"Then what is?"

"You pissed off Jackson and he got his father involved." She says like it was obvious.

"I always piss him off that's no different. And I Don care." Julia walks off making Lydia shout her name.

"What has gotten into her lately?" Lydia talks to herself out loud then sees Stiles go into class. "Hey, what have you done to my sister?" She walks in going over to him.

"What do you mean?" Stiles asks confused.

"She's all snappy lately since she started hanging around you. What did you do to her?"

"Nothing, she's being herself, Lydia. You would know how she is if you were still close to her and treated her like a sister but you don't do you?" Stiles stands up for Julia taking Lydia back so she takes her seat. "Oh, also do you know what happened to Jackson's real parents?"

"Why would I tell you? You don't tell me stuff about my sister." Lydia smiles as class starts.

After class Stiles tries to get Lydia to tell him about Jackson but she wouldn't do it, "Lydia, come on! Wait! Ah!" Erica poops up shoving him into the wall.

"Be careful with my friend, he's fragile." Julia joins them since she was walking with Erica.

"Why are you asking Lydia about Jackson's real parents?" She asks him.

"Why are you bringing out the claws on camera?" He asks her.

"He's right." Julia adds so Erica puts them away.

"If you're wondering about Jackson's real parents they're about a mile from here. In Beacon Hills Cemetery." Erica tells him before walking off.

"Is that true?" Stiles looks at Julia.

"Yeah, but I don't know how they died." She tells him so he grabs her ran running h after Erica to ask more questions.

"Wait, wait, wait. Do you know how they died?" He asks catching up to her.

"Maybe. If you tell me why you're so interested." Erica stops walking, "It's him. Isn't it?"

"What? Who? Him who?"

"The test didn't work, but it's still him. It's Jackson." She walks off.

"Erica, wait!" Julia rushes after her so Stiles follows. "Look, you can't tell Derek. There's a lot more to this that you guys don't know about." Julia catches up to her.

"And might I add, just because you got the Alpha bite makeover doesn't give you a license to go around destroying people." Stiles adds.

"Why not? That's all anybody ever used to do to me but Julia. I used to have the worst crush in the world on you. Yeah, you, Stiles. And you never once noticed me. Exactly how you're not noticing me right now." Erica notices him and Julia looking at water coming from the locker room then Scott is pushed out with Jackson going after him. The three jump in to separate them then Mr. Harris shows up saying everyone had detention at 3 o'clock.

After school you could tell all seven did not want to be there. "We can't be in detention together. I have a restraining order against theses tools." Jackson tells Mr. Harris.

"All these tools?"

"No, just us tools." Stiles motions to him, Scott and Julia.

"Fine. You three, over there."

The three get up going to a different table, "I'm gonna kill him."

"No, you're not." Julia tells him.

"What she said. You're going to find out who's controlling him and then you're gonna help save him." Stiles tells him.

"No. You two were right, let's kill him." Scott says making the two look at each other.

"Is your mom going to be mad about you being in detention with me?" Stiles asks Julia as she messes with her fingers.

"Yeah, she'll say it's your fault. You're a bad influence." Julia chuckles.

"No, I'm not."

"You kinda are." Scott butts in to their conversation.

"Shut up. What if it's Matt? I mean, this whole thing comes back to the video, right?" Stiles changes the topic.

"Danny said that Matt was the one who found the two hours of footage missing." Scott says.

"Exactly, he could have easily deleted it." Julia adds.

"He's trying to throw suspicion off himself."

"So he makes Jackson kill Isaac's dad, one of Argent's hunters, and the mechanic working on your jeep?" Scott list.

"Yes."

"Why?" Scott asks.

"Because... He's evil." Stiles looks over at him.

"You just don't like him." Scott tells him.

"The guy bugs me. I don't know what it is. Just look at his face."

"Any other theories?" Scott looks back at Stiles.

"I mean there could be more we don't know about. None of us knows Matt's past. I mean, years ago when we were kids he started acting different one day." Scott gives Julia a look, "I was a loner, I people watched." She adds.

Jackson ends up rushing out of the library and Mr. Harris goes telling everyone to stay in their seats so the three go back to Erica who tells them what happened to Jackson's real parents.

"Scott McCall, please report to the principal's office." Allison's mom comes through the PA.

Scott leaves while the three lol at the report then Mr. Harris tells everyone they aren't leaving till they finish re-shelving.

"I hate that man." Julia gets up getting a cart to put books away.

Stiles catches up Scott and Allison while Erica and Julia work on a cart. "Isaac says hi." Erica smiles at Julia.

"He does? Why hasn't he been to school?" Julia asks her confused since he could.

"I don't know to be honest. Doesn't seem to care that much. And yes, he does." Erica winks at Julia.

"Okay, well you can tell him I said hi back." Julia laughs as Jackson turns wreaking the library. He paralyzes Erica and tries doing the same to Julia so she fake falls to make him run off. "You're gonna be okay." Julia tells Erica before going to Stiles and Allison.

Scott joins them putting his arm out to keep Allison behind him and Stiles keeps Julia behind him as they watch Jackson write on the board.

Stay out of my way or I'll kill all of you.

"Erica!" Julia rushes over and so does Stiles.

"I think she's having a seizure." Stiles holds her.

Erica wants to be taken to Derek so the boys and Julia leave with her while Allison stays with Matt. When they get to Derek, he breaks her arm so it would trigger the healing process before squeezing her arm ti get the venom out.

When Julia got home she found Lydia spaced out sitting in her room, "Lydia, you okay?" Julia stands in the doorway but Lydia doesn't do anything. "Lydia?" Julia walks over to her.

Lydia looks over at her staying silent for a while, "I'm fine. Just not feeling well and I'm tired. I'm gonna get some rest."

"Okay." Julia leaves Lydia's room going to bed also.

~

"So why am I?" Julia asks Scott as he lets her into the clinic.

"Because you are good a listening and you know stuff. You're helpful to have around." Scott tells her so she just nods her head.

"Don't tell Stiles that or he'll get butt hurt."

"He really would." Scott agree waiting for Derek to show up.

When Derek does show up Issac was with him making Scott ask why he was with him, "Why is she here?" Derek points at Julia.

"She's helpful. And I trust her compared to him." Scott tells him.

"Yeah, well. He doesn't trust you either. Julia." Issac smiles.

"And Derek really doesn't care. Now where's the vet? Is he going to help us or not?"

"That depends. Your friend, Jackson. Are we planning to kill him or save him?" Deaton asks.

"Kill him,"

"Save him. Save him. Save him." Scott says.

"He's not really our friend so." Julia speaks up making everyone look at her, "What? He's not. We all dislike him. That's not a secret."

I'm the back Deaton goes through his stuff and Issac tries touching things making Derek annoyed. "So what are you? Some kind of witch?" Issac asks.

"No, I'm a veterinarian."

"Oh." Issac nods his head.

"Unfortunately, I'm not seeing anything here that's going to be an effective defense against a paralytic toxin."

"We're open to suggestions. Literally anything." Julia tells him.

"What about an effective offense?" Issac asks.

"No, we already tried. I nearly took its head off. And Argent emptied an entire clip into it. The thing just gets back up." Derek tells Deaton.

"Has it shown any weakness?"

"Well, one, it can't swim." Derek lets him know.

"Does that go for Jackson as well?"

"No. He's the captain of the swim team." Julia answers before Scott.

"Essentially, you're trying to catch two people. A puppet...and a puppeteer. One killed the husband and the other had to take care of the wife. Do we know why?"

"Jackson couldn't do it. His mother died pregnant too." Julia says.

"And she was maybe murdered. I think he couldn't let the same thing happen to someone else." Scott adds.

"How do you know it's not part of the rules? The Kanima kills murderers. If Jackson killed the wife then the baby dies too." Issac speaks up.

"Does that mean your father was a murderer?" Julia looks at Issac.

"Wouldn't surprise me if he was."

"Hold on. The book says they're bonded. Right? What if the fear of water isn't coming from Jackson but from the person controlling him? What if something that affects the Kanima also affects its master?" Deaton asks.

"Meaning what?" Issac asks.

"Meaning we can catch them. Both of them." Scott catches on.

"We'll we only know if we try it. So that means we need to get tickets to that show." Julia turns to Scott.

"Yeah. We'll figure it out."

"I'm gonna head home. I took Lydia's car without her knowing so I better go." Julia heads out.

"Julia," Issac follows her out.

"Huh?"

"Erica told you I said hi right?" Isaac crosses his arms.

"Yeah, and I told her to tell you hi back. She's doing better now right?"

"Yeah, she's great now." They just look at each other.

"You going to school tomorrow or did you drop out suddenly?" Julia opens the car door.

"You'll find out tomorrow won't you?"

[steelbluehome]

"Stan does a remarkably subtle job of capturing Trump’s mannerism and facial tics . . . while keeping the character appropriately life-sized"

ScreenDaily

‘The Apprentice’: Cannes Review (click for article)

BY TIM GRIERSON, SENIOR US CRITIC 20 MAY 2024

Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong impress in Ali Abbasi’s otherwise lacklustre Donald Trump origin story

Dir: Ali Abbasi. Canada/Denmark/Ireland. 2024. 120mins

What turned Donald Trump into such a polarising figure? The question drives The Apprentice, which charts the rise of the real estate mogul in the 1970s and ‘80s, searching for the seeds of his callousness and megalomania without much success. One cannot fault Sebastian Stan, who plays the insecure entrepreneur during a pivotal period, or Jeremy Strong as Trump’s ruthless lawyer and mentor Roy Cohn. But, despite its welcome restraint, director Ali Abbasi’s English-language debut never has a decisive take on the man whose greed and ambition eventually took him all the way to the White House.

Abbasi’s fourth feature is his third in a row to screen in Cannes. (Border won the top prize in Un Certain Regard in 2018, while 2022’s Holy Spider earned Zar Amir Ebrahimi Best Actress.) Returning to Competition, Abbasi has delivered a suitably sour drama that is certainly timely — Trump will be mounting a campaign to regain the presidency this autumn — and the star power of Stan and Strong (supported by Oscar-nominee Maria Bakalova) will draw curiosity. But what is less clear is how much appetite there will be for a film devoted to a controversial man who will dominate headlines (especially in the US) over the next several months; the film has sold to several territories, with StudioCanal taking the UK/Ireland, but a US deal is yet to be done.

When we first meet Donald Trump (Stan) in the mid-1970s, he is an aspiring mover-and-shaker in New York’s real estate world and is introduced to feared, amoral attorney Roy Cohn (Strong). The blunt ballbreaker takes the admiring Trump under his wing, teaching him the secrets to being a winner. (In short: relentlessly attack your adversaries, always claim victory and never confess to anything.) With Cohn’s guidance, Trump quickly grows his business empire while claiming alluring socialite Ivana Zelnickova (Bakalova) as his bride.

Written by journalist Gabriel Sherman, The Apprentice gets its title from the NBC reality series that restored Trump’s lustre in the 21st century although, in the case of this film, Trump is the one learning the ropes. Initially, Trump and Cohn’s rapport — that of eager disciple and malevolent teacher — sparks what is, in essence, Trump’s supervillain origin story. Cinematographer Kasper Tuxen films in faded, gritty tones, capturing a seedy New York during an era of economic downturn which eventually led to the ‘80s boom.

Abbasi resists humanising his main character, although he and Stan avoid glib caricature. Stan does a remarkably subtle job of capturing Trump’s mannerism and facial tics — the pursed lips, the jerky hand gestures, the cocked head meant to convey toughness — while keeping the character appropriately life-sized. There are nods to how Trump’s unloving father Fred (played with muted chiliness by Martin Donovan) belittled him into becoming a lethal businessman, but The Apprentice argues that it was Cohn’s unapologetically unscrupulous behaviour that inspired Trump to lie, scam and bully his way to success. Not that the picture has any illusions that Trump was an innocent soul corrupted by external forces; he always had a killer instinct.

But despite the film’s appealing textures — production designer Aleksandra Marinkovich and costume designer Laura Montgomery do sharp period work — Abbasi struggles to find a compelling arc in Trump’s ascension. There is some grim fascination to watching an irredeemable egomaniac knock down every obstacle blocking his path. But Trump’s heedless quest never lends itself to deeper revelations about the mogul, nor does it suggest how he symbolises the dark side of so-called American exceptionalism. By striving for realism, The Apprentice ends up dramatically flat, the recitation of Trump’s most infamous incidents — including Ivana Trump’s charge her husband raped her (an accusation she later disavowed) — playing out perfunctorily.

As the ferocious Cohn, Strong is menacingly stripped-down, but once Cohn develops AIDS in the ‘80s he recedes from the narrative, robbing the film of one-half of its most dynamic power couple. (Sadly, Bakalova’s scrappy Ivana is quickly sidelined.) The Apprentice proposes that Cohn, who many considered equally as monstrous, eventually realised to his horror what he had wrought by unleashing his pupil on the world. But that tepid assertion is hard to buy — just a strained attempt at a dramatic crescendo in a film that presents us with The Donald, but fails to put its stamp on him.

Production companies: Scythia Films, Profile Pictures, Tailored Films

International sales: Rocket Science, jls@rocket-science.net

Producers: Daniel Bekerman, Jacob Jarek, Ruth Treacy and Julianne Forde, Louis Tisne, Ali Abbasi

Screenplay: Gabriel Sherman

Cinematography: Kasper Tuxen

Production design: Aleksandra Marinkovich

Editing: Olivia Neergaard-Holm & Olivier Bugge Coutte

Music: David Holmes & Brian Irvine, Martin Dirkov

Main cast: Sebastian Stan, Jeremy Strong, Martin Donovan, Maria Bakalova

[sadsoftserve]

WHAT'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR OCS YOU'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT BUT NEVER HAD THE CHANCE BECAUSE ITS JUST TO ODDLY SPECIFIC TO BE ASKED?

AHHHHHH HI AGAIN LOUD ANON!!!!!!!!

UHHHH IMMA JUST YAP FOR A MINUTE.

So one thing I've wanted to tell people Abt is Parker's Lore change >:]

I've changed her lore again(?) soooooo Imma go into vague detail Abt that.

So instead of the original, she was handed off to Percy bc she has a neurological disorder, I hit Parker with the mommy issues ray.

So, Parker's mom, Paige, is also Percys older sister and they hate each other. Paige is a con woman, similar to Ramsey but like 10x worse. She's also the Mundie that took out his eye.

So there's that, I got some more >:]

Micah is, as I said before motherless. He has no mom, she passed away when he was 9 due to a terminal illness. What you don't know, is that, that is the main cause for his anxiety, because damn is the boy full of it.

He does feel slightly guilty for his mother's passing. Though it was out of his control. His father has tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, but the boy is stubborn. Also give Micah's dad an award for best dad in Epithet, he's gonna go beat up Martin.

Also his older brother is Ben now. My discord mutuals can confirm my midnight message, that was incoherent confirming this.

He also has a lot of body image issues. :'(

I also want to go on depth a bit more about Sabrina.

As I've said before, she has OCD. However this impacts her way more than she lets up on. She literally either compulsively cleans, or has no motivation to do anything. This has played into her burn out.

Sabrina also has a really bad habit of pulling at her hair when she's anxious, angry, frustrated ect. Her hair is thin. She uses special products keep it from completely like, dying.

She also has a tendency to hit herself, or have someone else hit her.

Sylvie has tried to give her therapy. She has rejected it multiple times.

[landscaping-your-mind]

You ever think about the parallels between the Unknowing and the Eyepocalypse?

Gertrude says she’s there because Jon failed, she talks about all her preparations and how Jon failed to utilize them, and knowing about the threat too late was pointless. In MAG 161, Jon listens to the tapes and hears at least two of Gertrude talking about her plans, one actually talking to the new Archivist about it. Jon only hears them once he’s failed. Jon only hears it once the information is pointless.

Gertrude also says that Jon could try screaming, weeping, and curling into a ball, all things he probably does when he recovers from his hysterical laughter and falls into that depression we see him in in MAG 161 and 162.

Jon asks Jurgen Leitner why he didn’t tell him it would be like this. Jonah Magnus killed Jurgen because he would tell Jon it would be like this.

Additionally, Gertrude!Nikola doesn’t say liar. She says voyeur. Yknow, what the eye is associated with. Possibly because they all new of the possibility of an Eye ritual, but also fits.

Quotes below the cut bc I’m abnormal about this. Also MAG 200 spoilers at the very end.

[ID: Text reading “GERTRUDE (NIKOLA) / Don’t be obtuse, John, I’m here because you failed. / ARCHIVIST / I, I, I tried. I almost — / GERTRUDE (NIKOLA) / You almost what? You almost didn’t doom the world? (Laughs as Nikola) No. You almost left reality to be the plaything of a lazy foolish voyeur. / ARCHIVIST / No, no, no. I wouldn’t — I could have stopped it. / GERTRUDE (NIKOLA) / How? You didn’t even know what it was. Do you know how many people I killed to keep the world in one piece? The sacrifices I made? And you didn’t even know what you were fighting.” /End ID]

(MAG 119 — Stranger and Stranger)

[ID: Text reading “GERTRUDE (NIKOLA) / I suppose it’s of no consequence now. It’s far too late. / ARCHIVIST / What can I do? / GERTRUDE (NIKOLA) / You could scream, I suppose. Weep, maybe. (Laughs as Nikola) Have you considered curling into a ball?” /End ID]

(MAG 119 — Stranger and Stranger)

[ID: Text reading “GERTRUDE (NIKOLA) / I’m not. (Pause) You know, it’s probably for the best I’m dead. Can you imagine how much I’d hate having you fumble around as my replacement. I really cannot express how much of a disappointment you are. / ARCHIVIST / I, I’m sorry. I, I didn’t even — / GERTRUDE (NIKOLA) / I fought for years to stop the Stranger in its tracks, and you didn’t even notice when they desecrated my corpse. And now look at me. You’ve made me part of their ritual. This is your fault.” /End ID]

(MAG 119 — Stranger and Stranger)

[ID: Text reading “ARCHIVIST / You told me… Why, why didn’t you warn me it would be like this?” /End ID]

(MAG 119 — Stranger and Stranger)

[ID: Text reading “Jurgen Leitner was a surprise, of course, and I was forced to... improvise. I had no idea how much Gertrude would have told him, and he could very easily have derailed everything if you learned too much too fast. I.. justified it to myself saying I was going to have to send you out into the world anyway, if you were to encounter more of the Powers, but I can’t honestly pretend it wasn’t a... rather rash move.” /End ID]

(MAG 160 — The Eye Opens)

[ID: Text reading: “ARCHIVIST / Can you imagine? If we’d had this? / MARTIN / But we didn’t though, did we. / ARCHIVIST / No— / MARTIN / So there’s no point in dwelling.” /End ID]

(MAG 161 — Dwelling)

[ID: Text reading “ARCHIVIST / Besides. G— (shaky) Grief… is healthy. I,if nothing else, it pushes away the other feelings that that— thing wants me to experience. / MARTIN / It just— it hurts me to see you wallowing like this.” /End ID]

(MAG 161 — Dwelling)

Bonus! Jon was supposed to have his dead friends get angry about him Becoming God in MAG 200, and this was added instead.