#Manda you might ask why do you complain about this so much you do this literally just to yourself

[shiroselia]

Never thought I'd see the fucking day.

[phoenixyfriend]

More of "Obi-Wan Declares Himself Dad-Shaped"

(With help from @atagotiak​, see original post here)

One of the fun elements of this AU is that timey-wimey Anakin is now physically more or less the same age as original-timeline Obi-Wan.

I want to imagine they run into each other and Anakin is, despite having his own dad-shaped Obi-Wan, very upset that this younger Obi-Wan doesn't know him at all, and is thus very bitchy and petty. Teen Obi-Wan has no idea what he did to piss this guy off so bad.

(He’s probably a lil bitchy back, which would upset Anakin more.)

(It’s not the normal fond/exasperated kind of bitchy Obi-Wan’s supposed to be like, this is a travesty.)

Ahsoka off to the side like "My brother's dumb."

Ben is just off actually doing real work after tricking “technically a stranger, but a fellow Jedi, so we trust you” Qui-Gon into babysitting duty.

Tiny Feral Jetii Manda Togruta Girl comes up and tugs on Obi's robes and tells him that her brother wants to be his friend, he's just dumb about saying stuff like that, go ask him about speeders.

ALSO I want to say Shmi is like... five years older than Obi-Wan? Maybe eighteen when they arrive, which is three years before Anakin is born. So one day the fam begs off from Mandalorian space for a few days (weeks?) and goes to Tatooine to Find Mom, who is not yet a mom, but Anakin's crying on her anyway.

"Prior to my claiming him as my own child, Anakin was a Skywalker. The Force told us to come and find you, and I imagine your name is why." One of these sentences is true.

Tia asked:

Do the true mandos go to galidraan or avoid the planet entirely? Like if that trap doesn’t take there’s just gonna be another and this would help to communicate and stuff.

I’m just imagining like. The confrontation is a lot calmer, but there is what appears to be a random Jedi youngling that attempts to kill Dooku

“Why are your kids just radiating hostility at me specifically?”

To which I say: Ben negotiates with the Jedi while Fett "negotiates" with Viszla.

When the Jedi ask Ben things like "who are you" and "you're clearly a Jedi, why are you with these guys" and "why do none of us know you when you're obviously a Master" and he just pulls a page from Qui-Gon's book and tells them The Force Willed It and everyone hates that answer because the Force is confirming it.

I feel like Anakin radiates hostility while Ahsoka is trying to see if she can look so gosh-darn cute that people miss out on the fact that she's picking their pockets.

(She’s very good at it, to Ben’s eternal exasperation.)

It's a pity Anakin already has three-hundred-and-fifty-two conflicting feelings about Obi-Wan's general existence, or else they might have gotten along like a house on fire.

I need you to imagine Anakin just picking Ahsoka up and pulling her away from someone while hissing.

Also lots of Kenobi-specific "I have raised this boy for over a decade" no-thinking-needed motions for Ben, where he doesn't look up from a datapad to grab the neck of Anakin's robes as he tries to throw himself headfirst into a fight with someone three times his size.

Anakin would win, but the ensuing drama as people complained about losing to a tween would be a pain to deal with.

I'm very in love with the mental image of Anakin being unnecessarily aggressive, but tiny, while an even smaller Ahsoka is just constantly laughing at him and everyone he interacts with because this is honestly much lower-stakes than she's used to, and generally very silly. Also, sometimes Master Kenobi lets her hide inside his robe and then she can pop out and scare people.

"Ben, where are your kids?" "Hunting." "Hunting... what?" "Whatever's the most dangerous, I imagine." "You're not worried? Your girl's eight." "I'd know if they were in trouble. Jetii osik, as you like to call it."

[sheresh0y]

Gai Bal Manda

A/N: I originally wanted to do a funny fluff piece about how Ezra and Mando found their kids. It eventually took on a life of it's own and has straight up haunted me for weeks. I tried it with every combination of characters and wasn't satisfied until I settled on this. I'm not entirely happy with how this came out, but this piece feels finished where the other felt lacking. So let me know if you like it, or if you have any Chaotic Space Dad thoughts! My inbox is always open! Translations at the end.

Warnings: Adoption talks, found family musings, what is a family? thoughts, light angst, ends happy though!

Word Count: 1912

The Crest was a tight fit for four people, even if they had outfitted some of the closets and nooks for sleeping spaces and some semblance of privacy. The only place one could truly be alone was the fresher and with so many people it wasn’t like you could be in there for long. That’s why Din made sure that the cockpit stayed exactly the way it was. Maybe it was silly, or territorial even, but it helped that people could only be in his sanctuary when they needed to be.

Needless to say, the cockpit was a tight squeeze for four people just like four people was a tight squeeze for the Crest. Maybe that’s why Din was always surprised when Cee willingly came up. She had her own space, the poor excuse of a closet the Crest had made an even poorer excuse of a room, but it was her own space nonetheless. Ezra and Din had both unanimously decided between the of the two of them the kids should have something even if it wasn’t great or normal by any stretch of the means.

The first time Cee joined him topside he thought it would be a one-off. Ezra was probably being long winded and she just needed to escape was he first thought. His usual thought when Ezra rambled. Then she just kept doing it, just sitting there with her notebook and music player, not saying anything. By the third day Din figured she wanted something. Some question she was going to ask or excuse he was supposed to back up when Ezra asked where she was.

Din decided to break the silence on day four, turning his head slightly over his shoulder so he could keep an eye on the controls and Cee, “What are you trying to get out of?”

“Did Ezra say something?” Cee groused, clearly annoyed. “Just because he has one arm doesn’t mean I have to pick up his slack. It was his own fault he lost it.”

“He didn’t say anything to me, no. Should he?” Din was practiced at dancing around topics to get answers to the questions he didn’t want to outright ask, but this felt different. Tense, almost.

“No,” Came the immediate, too quick reply over his shoulder. Din hummed at her answer and turned fully to the controls, deciding that pulling the question from Cee would take longer than waiting her out. Silence spread over the cockpit, not an uncomfortable one on Din’s part. Cee, however, couldn’t stand it. He knew what question she was going to ask. He had to.

Ezra said it was rude to ask and she knew it was, she would be annoyed if anyone badgered her with the question she wanted to ask Mando. As they sat in silence Cee got even more antsy, Keeva had she insulted him? She didn’t mean to, the kid was cute, a little disproportionate between the huge ears and eyes with the tiny body, but sweet.

She just had so many questions, like, was he supposed to get as big as Mando? Was Mando the anomaly? Were they even related? Mando had five fingers while the kid had three so did they sprout new fingers? It didn’t matter if they weren’t, her and Ezra weren’t and no one said anything to them so she should just leave it alone... but she just had to know.

The quiet was getting stifling and Cee knew it was just going to get more weird if she didn’t just spit out the question and let Mando leave her and Ezra on some backwater planet. “He’s yours, right? The kid. So... Why do you have five fingers and he has three?” Keeva, it sounded more stupid than she imagined. Maybe Ezra was right, that she was just going crazy in the long stretches of space.

The staticky huff of what sounded like laughter snapped Cee out of her spiral, “He’s my foundling, I’m quested to return him to his kind. So while he’s mine currently, he isn’t my son. Not biologically.” Maker, that was the question she was so worked up about? Of all the things he was thinking about his foundling wasn’t what he expected.

The air shifted from awkward to something else, something Din didn’t quite have a name for, the tension leaving the room suddenly like a vacuum into space. Cold and distant and sudden. “What happens if he doesn’t have anyone? No family or friends left?” Cee let the question hang in the air, trying to sound more confident then she felt.

She wasn’t lonely, she had Ezra. Ezra wouldn’t ever leave her behind, he didn’t when they were on the Green, or any of the other hundred times it would’ve been easier to. He never complained or made her feel guilty about anything. He never acted like taking on another mouth to feed was an issue for him and he often talked about how their partnership was “a balm for his lonesome soul”.

Besides that, if Ezra ever did want to leave, he could. She had been taking care of herself long before he came around and she could do it again. She didn’t need him to hold her hand through life. She didn’t need anyone.

Watching the emotions play out on Cee’s face made Din realize that he stepped into a minefield he didn’t know existed. Ezra wasn’t Cee’s parent like he originally assumed, she was his foundling and she knew she didn’t have anyone to go home to. Whether or not Ezra knew was something else entirely, he wasn’t entirely clear on how they found each other.

Turning the pilot chair to face Cee directly Din tried his best to explain, “It’s a little complicated on the outside looking in. I’m his guardian, tasked with reuniting him with his own kind, or, raise him until he can swear the creed I have. If he has no one, no family to raise him and I have exhausted all avenues of approach in finding them, then and only then can I adopt him as my own. There is no backing out of it, or not wanting your foundling. It’s a sacred duty to be a buir - a parent.”

While he wasn’t sure if that was what Cee wanted to hear, it felt good to say it out loud. That someday, if he’s lucky enough, he might get to be the womprat’s dad. He would never admit it, not to any other soul living or dead, that he was thinking of adopting his foundling. He couldn’t, for many reasons. One being that whole quested business, he couldn’t stop looking for the kid’s kind. If he did then he would be going against The Creed, he would be dar’manda. The second was that the kid’s powers were growing more and more. He couldn’t help the kid with training and finessing his powers, the kid needed the Jedi more than Din needed the kid.

Silence enveloped the ship as Mando paused in his explanation. Cee was looking anywhere but Mando, feeling like she had been stripped raw, like he had seen right through her question and put her insecurities on display. Mando knew she wasn’t asking about the kid. “You can adopt anyone, even adults. At least in Mandalorian culture. It’s called gai bal manda. You have to say, ‘I know your name as my own’ and then their name.”

Din turned the pilot seat back to the controls and left their conversation at that, she could do whatever she wanted with that information. Twisting the information over in her mind Cee wondered if Ezra thought it was dumb, they were already partners why was there a need to make a fuss over it. And on the other hand, could she? Family was obviously sacred for Mando and his people, was this vow something she could do or would it be sacrilege for her to try and piece together a family? Was she replacing her family? No. She wasn’t, right? Her mom was her mom just like her dad was her dad and Ezra was her... Ezra.

There wasn’t a name for what Ezra was to her, he annoyed her like a sibling, offered advice like a parent, supported her like a friend. Sitting in the Crest it hit Cee like a speeder, that family was supposed to be people in your corner. People you trust. Ezra was family and had been for a while now.

-

Leaving Mando in the cockpit to eat supper, Cee joined The Child and Ezra in the belly of the Crest. “You doing okay, Birdie? Got your pondering face on,” Ezra prodded. He knew that she had been hanging around Mando the past few days, he didn’t have a problem with it but he was curious about what they had been talking about for her to look so solemn. Cee spun the spoon around in the bowl, not entirely sure how to bring up what she was thinking about without Ezra laughing at her so she elected to stay silent.

Studying her for a minute longer Ezra decided to take it upon himself to lift her spirits or annoy it out of her. Lucky for him, the execution was the same: talking to her. Ezra knew he could be long winded when he wanted to be so he launched into his dealings for the day. Taking inventory, talking to the kid, cleaning the thrower, making dinner since it was his turn tonight, and how ‘thank you’s would be very much obliged. He was about to get into an overly detailed explanation of how ration packs were dehydrated when Cee finally cut him off.

“What does family mean to you, Ezra?”

The wind felt like it was knocked from his chest right then. Like someone had gotten a lucky punch into his solar plexus. “Well... I guess... Family to me would mean you, Birdie. Someone who’s got your back even when you don’t deserve it. Or at least, feel like you don’t deserve it. If I may ask, what brought this on?”

Cee shrugged trying to look nonchalant about the whole thing as she admitted to asking Mando about The Child. Ezra huffed in good natured annoyance rolling his eyes, “I told you it was rude to ask. Never one to listen, but that’s okay, I’m not either. Since you already did the prying, it’s only fair you tell me what new information you gleaned about our crewmates.”

Cee simplified what Mando told her, about the foundling and adoption process. Ezra hummed as wiped The Child’s face with the corner of a rag, not quite knowing where to go from there. Did she want Mando to adopt her? Did she want a normal family? Ezra wasn’t sure what to say as he sifted through those thoughts. If she wanted their partnership to end he would take her to any planet, any system she desired. He hoped she knew that.

“It’s really simple, actually, and anyone can be adopted. According to Mando even adults can be.” Ezra wasn’t sure if she was being vague on purpose or if he was being set up to be pranked but he leaned into whatever plan she had willingly. “What, pray tell, does this adult adoption look like Birdie?” He was finally able to catch her eye across the crate that was their designated table.

“I know your name as my own, Ezra.”

Translations:

Buir: Father, mother, parent

Dar'manda: a state of not being Mandalorian - not an outsider, but one who has lost his heritage, and so his identity and his soul - regarded with absolute dread by most traditional-minded Mando'ade.

Gai Bal Manda: Literally meaning "name and soul" it is the Mandalorian adoption vow. In Mando'a it is "ni kyr'tayl gai sa'ad" and based on the translation and source can either mean, "I know your name as my own" or "I know your name as my child". I had Din just give Cee the English translation since she or Ezra wouldn't know Mando'a, but she needed something since she was feeling pretty adrift in this piece.

[protecticarus]

a prompt by @easywayouthuman!

I’m so sorry it took me approximately a century to get to this (I usually pick my prompts from my inbox). I hope it’s any good. I went with the vibe of the song, but it’s not really a song fic, if that makes any sense?

merry christmas you guys! xx

~

Amanda furrowed her brows and stared at her brother. Her brother, who was basically a Grinch 364 days a year, was currently busy making sure the Christmas tree in his shitty little apartment, along with the other decorations and food, looked perfect. He had gone all out this Christmas. And all for the quirky detective who didn’t seem particularly interested in the tree, or the holiday at hand in general.

Amanda gave one final look at her brother, currently shooing Vogel away from the most delicate decorations and moved to sit next to Dirk on the couch.

“Hey, Dirk.” She greeted.

Dirk’s head snapped up immediately and a smile was plastered on his face. “Hello, ‘Manda!” He chirped.

Amanda handed Dirk a glass of eggnog, which Dirk only looked at with a curious expression.

Amanda laughed and placed the glass in Dirk’s hand. “You looked like you needed something to take the edge off.” She explained.

Dirk sniffed the eggnog. “There’s alcohol in this?” He asked.

Amanda snorted. “Yeah, Dirk, there’s alcohol in it.”

Dirk hummed and looked torn. Then he shrugged and took a sip. His face immediately scrunched up in surprise at the taste. Nevertheless, he took another sip, now a bit more confident.

Amanda laughed lightly. “There you go.”

“Thank you! It’s terrible but it makes me feel warm.” Dirk retorted.

Amanda rolled her eyes affectionetly. “That’s alcohol for you.”

A sudden crash from the other side of the room interrupted their chat. They both turned to watch as Todd screamed at Vogel for breaking a bauble. They both giggled.

“I’ll go save Vogel from Todd. Or Todd from Vogel... Either way, those two need to be away from each other for a while.” Amanda said and patted Dirk on the back before walking over to separate her brother and Vogel.

During the day, Dirk kept watching his friends. Amanda took Vogel away from Todd and the tree and walked him over to the rest of the rowdies on the other side of the apartment. Todd sighed frustrated and cleaned up the shards of bauble on the floor. Dirk smiled, enjoying his time with his friends, but a deep melancholy still lingered at the back of his mind. Upon hearing about Dirk’s lack of experience with Christmas, Todd had taken it upon himself to give him a proper, normal Christmas. But Dirk was distracted. This year had been hard. Hell, his whole life had been hard, but the unexpected return to Blackwing had really taken a toll on Dirk and he felt like the trauma kept creeping up on him in these quiet moments.

Deep in thought, Dirk kept sipping his eggnog and contemplating the year up to that point.

Suddenly Todd appeared in his field of vision and his train of thought was broken.

“Dirk?” Todd said.

“Yes, Todd?” Dirk replied very loudly, taking another sip of his eggnog.

“Didn’t you hear me? I was calling for you.” Todd explained.

“Oh. I must not have. Sorry. What did you say?” Dirk asked.

Todd shrugged. “Eh, it was nothing. Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yes, of course! Must have been lost in thought.” Dirk replied nonchalantly.

“Are you having fun?” Todd asked.

“Sure.” Dirk replied, less than convincingly.

“Sure? It’s Christmas! You should be having fun.” Todd said.

“I’m sorry, Todd, I just haven’t exactly celebrated Christmas since I was a boy, I don’t have your affection towards the holiday. And to be totally candid... I’m more looking forward to the new year.” Dirk explained.

Todd sat down next to Dirk. “Yeah? Why?”

Dirk sighed. “I don’t know. I feel... Uneasy. This year has been... Hard, I guess. I just know that next year will be different. I don’t know if that’s good or bad but right now, I just want different. I need different.”

Todd nodded sympathetically. “I know these last few months have been really hard for you.” He said.

Dirk shrugged. “They have been hard on all of us. Wendimoor and all.” Dirk said and sipped his drink again.

“Well, sure, but Blackwing... That’s definitely hardest for you.” Todd pointed out.

Dirk gave a loud laugh. “Oh, yes. That bloody hellhole.” He said.

Todd looked surprised at Dirk’s words accompanied by inappropriate laughter.

Dirk laughed again. “I might be slightly pissed.” He said in between giggles.

Todd looked down at Dirk’s hands holding a now almost empty glass.

“Is that Amanda’s eggnog?” Todd asked.

“Indeedy.” Dirk replied.

Todd sighed. “That thing is more brandy than anything else.”

“That’s one of them harder liquors, eh?” Dirk asked, in an even harder accent than his normal one.

Todd blinked a few times. “Dirk... Have you ever drank alcohol before?” He asked.

Dirk pondered on this for a moment. “I think I sipped some beers whilst at uni. I have never been drunk though.” He explained and then hiccuped.

Todd laughed. “Oh God help me.”

“Can I have some more please?” Dirk asked and offered Todd his glass.

“I think you should take a break. Maybe have some water before you drink any more.” Todd said and took Dirk’s glass from him, placing it on the coffee table.

Dirk sighed. “Fine. But water doesn’t make me feel warm.” He complained.

Todd contemplated whether or not to say what he wanted to say next, but decided to go for it.

“Did you decide to drink now because of all the crap that’s made this year hard for you?” Todd asked.

Dirk groaned. “No. I didn’t even know what drunkedness feels like. Is that a word?” Dirk mumbled.

“Okay. Just asking. And no, it’s not.” Todd replied.

“Amanda said I looked like I needed it.” Dirk added.

Todd sighed. “She might’ve been right. But don’t make a habit of it, okay? Drinking doesn’t erase your problems. You’ll still have to deal with them. And be hungover doing it. Take it from me.” He said.

“Promise.” Dirk said and crossed his heart.

“So, did you like any part of Christmas?” Todd asked.

Dirk gasped. “Oh Todd! I love that you tried to make Christmas for me. I know you did most of this”, Dirk said and gestured around the obnoxiously decorated room, “for my benefit and I appreciate it so much. I’m just tired. I just want to feel normal again.” He said quietly.

Todd patted Dirk on the back. “You will feel normal again, okay? Next year will be different, right? You’ll be fine. And I’ll be here to help.” He assured Dirk.

Dirk just stared at Todd, his eyes shining. He looked emotional. “You will be, won’t you?” He repeated.

“Yeah. Of course. If you couldn’t get rid of me because of all the time traveling and shit, there isn’t much that could rid you of me.” Todd laughed.

Suddenly Dirk launched himself at Todd and wrapped his arms around Todd’s neck. Todd was taken aback but quickly recovered and hugged the detective back.

“Thank you, Todd.” Dirk whispered, his eyes filling with tears.

“No problem.” Todd replied.

“No, really, Thank you.” Dirk pressed.

“Really, you’re welcome.” Todd laughed.

Dirk sighed. “I love you.”

After a moment of silence, it suddenly seemed to dawn on Dirk what he had just said and he quickly untangled himself from Todd and stood up, slightly swaying on his feet.

“Dirk, hey, calm down.” Todd laughed and took Dirk’s hands to pull him back down on the couch.

“Alcohol is the devil.” Dirk mumbled.

Todd laughed again. “I know.”

“I didn’t mean to say that.” Dirk added.

“It’s okay. I know.” Todd replied.

Dirk looked confused. “Know what?”

“I know, Dirk. And it’s okay.” Todd said.

Dirk stared at Todd for several seconds before speaking up again. “It is?”

Todd smiled. “Yeah. Totally. I mean... Me too.” He replied.

Dirk’s eyes widened. “You too?”

Todd nodded. “Yeah.”

Dirk smiled like the sun and his eyes watered.

“Should I fetch you guys some mistletoe?” Amanda called from the kitchen.

“Fuck off.” Todd mumbled and blushed.

“Cheers.” Amanda replied and chugged the rest of her eggnog while the rowdies laughed.

“I’m not an expert on Christmas so correct me if I’m wrong: it’s okay to kiss on Christmas even without mistletoe present?” Dirk asked.

Todd laughed. “Yeah, Dirk, it’s fine.”

Dirk lifted his brows in a question.

“Oh. You want- now?” Todd asked.

“Why not?” Dirk asked.

“Well, you’re drunk off your ass for one.” Todd chuckled.

Dirk moaned. “Accidentally! And I’m fine. Sober me wants to snog you all the time too.”

“All the time, huh?” Todd teased.

“You know what, maybe I should just get some more of this eggnog-“

“Oh come here you.” Todd laughed and pulled Dirk to him and planted a kiss on his lips.

After a moment, they pulled away, both smiling brightly.

“You know... I am enjoying Christmas after all, Todd. And I have a feeling next year will indeed be better than this one.”

~

if you have any ideas for fics, send me prompts! my inbox is always open! x

[axelsagewrites]

Magnus Bane*No Tea Tonight PT3

Magnus has had many past lovers. Some subcum to age, some to tradgedy, and some to fights. (Y/N) however was lost, literalley. After going missing on a shadowhunter mission their was no answers. Not till the case was reopened by the Lightwood siblings who were in over there heads.

Masterlist HERE

Wattpad HERE

Magnus Bane X Warlock!Reader

Part one  Part two

Magnus awoke already annoyed. He didn’t know what at but either way he was giving Chairman Meow the side-eye as he drank his coffee. “Must you meow so loud?” He snapped at one single meow from the cat. Chairman seemed to stare into his soul before he meows again, as loud as a cat possibly could. The warlock rolled his eyes and focused his attention on Brooklyn’s skyline. A nice, penthouse, flat that he didn’t even have to worry about the rent on. Antique furniture’s and artifacts dating back farther than the ones in the museums, and better qualities. A city, world even, of Downworlders who respected him and lusted after him. How could he complain? Magnus mulled these thoughts over in his head. On paper his life was perfect. He was even immortal. If anything, that was a curse. Once his immortality sunk into his mind he realized something awful; he would always outlive who he loved. His family and childhood friends aged and died around him. New friends were there for a blink of an eye. He hadn’t been able to stay anywhere long. They’d realize he hadn’t aged, or he’d be forced to watch them suffer that fate. The few immortals he met were the only ones he wouldn’t lose to age. Vampires and warlocks who hardened over time as they felt the pain of every generation. Every tragedy. Every death. It was hell. No one lives as long as him without a tragedy and after so many, it’s hard to smile. The immortal friends he did make were…quirky. Ragnar tested his patients at every moment, Cat was always busy and like a proper adult, and Tessa kept getting hung up on immortals. But they were friends, family even. Its why he clung so long to Camille. She didn’t age, she wouldn’t get stolen by time. He dealt with someone so toxic because at least she was there. Then there was (Y/N). when they met they never said what they were? Not all Downworlders are obvious, werewolves hide scars, vampires are seen in nightclubs, Seelie’s learn to talk mundane, and warlocks use glamours. (Y/N) could’ve been a mundane with a sight for all he knew. Even still, not knowing how long they would have, Magnus fell for (Y/N). they’d met through Ragnar but were nothing alike. It was a ball, drinks were flowing, music was playing, and peoples sins hide in the corner. (Y/N) wasn’t drinking Magnus noticed. Only wetting their lips with the wine. So, he called her out. “You learn so much more when they think you know so little.” Was all they said, smirking then walking out into the gardens. Magnus followed. “What do you want to learn?” he asked. “Nothing. Everything. Doesn’t matter,” they shrugged, not slowing their pace for the warlock, “It’s like a collection. Some are prized others are left dusty. Did you know the Duchess of Versailles was the mistress of Lady Manda?” Magnus raised an eyebrow, “On its own, it doesn’t matter. Unless you also know Lady Manda’s husband Lord Gordon was trying to create a trade with the prince of Austria who has a feud with the Duke over their son’s affair together.” “How do you know all that?” Magnus asked, stopping his walk as (Y/N) stopped to sniff the roses. “Simple, I’m nothing. My stations not high enough to care, not low enough to look down on. My money's not known to them and around here I’m known to have a drink. When I drink, they drink. When they drink, I listen.” (Y/N) plucked a rose, putting it Magnus’s top pocket, “If I was you, I’d start buying grain from the Duke. The prince has his favor,” “What about the king?” “You won’t have to ask that for long,” (Y/N) said, walking away. Magnus didn’t follow. The advised paid off. Few bought gains from the duke so when tables turned Magnus’s fortunes doubled but (Y/N) was gone. It wasn’t till Venice, a decade late, that he saw (Y/N) again. He’d asked around about (Y/N) but no one seemed to know. No one seemed to care. There was a portrait hung in a restaurant he was in. (Y/N) was in a gondola, rowing across the river. Relaxed, composed, young. It could’ve been painted 10 years ago or 10 days ago. The chances of (Y/N) still being in Venice was slim to none. But he saw them, for a moment. It was a moment enough to convince him to follow. Pushing through crowds,  Magnus looked for (Y/N) among the faces. Eventually, he ended up in an alley with no people. The beauty of Venice didn’t exist in this alley. Magnus sighed, about to leave, when “You look good for your age,” “Where are you?” Magnus turned back and saw nothing. He looked up though and saw (Y/N) sitting on the window sill of a building. It was run down and probably closed. “Why are you up there?” “How have you been?” (Y/N) smirked, ignoring the question. “Longs it been? 8 years?” “10. And it wasn’t really a meeting,” (Y/N) shrugged, “Well I wasn’t really sure. You were an uncertain choice. After that vampire’s choice words, I figured I’d let the wind settle before I tried to see where it would blow,” Vampire? Magnus thought, “Camille,” he sighed. “That’s the one. Fewer enemies fewer problems. How is the bitch?” Magnus laughed, “Not friends I see?” “Does that one have friends?” “Not anymore,” “Good for you,” (Y/N) said. They looked over their shoulder before grabbing something and tossing it out the window. A rope swung from the window, almost touching the ground, “Coming in?” It was dangerous. A rouge from what he knew. A run-down Venice building. He wasn’t stupid. But yet Magnus tested the strength of the rope. (Y/N) smirked and it spurred him on. Magnus took hold and began trying to scale the building. Trying because he hadn’t done this since an intense game of truth or dare in the 1700s when windows were lower to the ground. Still, he managed to climb in with catlike ease. “Glad you could join us,” the stranger said. The room was dark, only a couple of candles on a rickety table. (Y/N) handed one to the warlock. “Come on,” (Y/N) smiled a smile. Without a candle or light (Y/N) was able to lead the warlock. (Y/N) was faster though so grabbed his hand lightly to guide him faster. There wasn’t even a door in the doorframe to stop them. Down a wooden staircase with a missing banister, they arrived on a stage. Magnus squinted to see. There were other candles giving off a small light like a star at the start of a night. Looking closer Magnus saw the bodies by the flames. “You’re a warlock right?” (Y/N) asked. Magnus was hesitant to nod. “So’s Gino. Gino!” (Y/N) yelled. A light moved and as it approached Magnus saw the 14-year-old boy with scales covering part of his face, “Yes (Y/N)?” “Another warlock. Like you and Caleb. Magnus, Gino. Gino, Magnus,” “Nice to meet you, mister,” He held out his hand eagerly. Magnus shook it but was looking around the room confused. “What is this place?” “il santuario dal sole,” Gino said. “It was for vampires at first but (Y/N) took us all. il nostro custode” He grinned. Magnus raised an eyebrow, “What are you?” he asked. “What are any of us?” Gino scoffed, “You spend too much time with the fae. (Y/N)’s like us,” The three warlocks stood in silence. “Gino,” (Y/N) broke it. “It’s dinner times. Go get the wine,” Gino nodded, running off without the candle even flickering. Magic, Magnus realized, “You’re welcome to stay,” (Y/N) went to walk away but he caught her wrist. “What is this place? Really?” With a sigh (Y/N) looked over the room. There were at least 16 candles some with multiple people around them, “Home. For too many of us. Venice was a chance for us, but chances die hard. And we got trapped. Money got tight. And now we sleep in an abandoned theatre.” “You used to-“ “-Have status? Money?” (Y/N) cut him off. “Like I said. Chances die hard. I took the wrong one. The money I have goes to bribery and candles. The food is stolen. The wine is stolen. Their futures are stolen. So, we feast on others bread and wine,” This time (Y/N) did walk away. The next morning Magnus was gone and the Downworlders were awoken with the flood of light. The curtains had been opened. “They're here!” someone yelled. All the Downworlders began to run, panicking. The quickest exit was through the stage but there was a man on it. “This place could do with a bit of a clean,” Magnus said, looking over the theatre. “What are you doing here?” (Y/N) asked, walking onto the stage. “I bought this place,” “You’re evicting us,” (Y/N) crossed their arms. “Not quite,” Magnus pulled paper from his pocket. “The deed to this place. All paid for. The food will be delivered at noon. Though I might organize a decorator,” (Y/N) took the deed Magnus held out to them, “Your giving us this place? Why?” “Some chances pay off,” What he did was incredibly stupid. Completely idiotic. But Magnus had money and too much of it. upon reflection, he saw himself as a bit of a Gatsby. Everything to do with (Y/N) was a chance. Their meeting, the theatre, their first kiss when neither knew what the other thought. Everything. It was nearly always a good outcome and the bad ones were only so bad. But now Magnus felt what (Y/N) had in that run-down theatre. But worse. “Chances die hard,” Magnus murmured into his coffee cup.

When the shadowhunters got no call from Magnus they weren’t surprised. They had other cases, other missions, but Isabelle made it a point that they’d meet to discuss (Y/N). or as the clave saw it, the K7238 file. “We either look into people or location. Both too much of a stretch of clave resources. They’ll want to know why we're so invested and take over the case,” Isabelle said. She’d took the head on the case and sat at the top of the table. “But won't they have more resources?” Clary asked. The rest laughed. “The clave doesn’t exactly, how to say, care about Downworlders,” Jace said as gently as he could. Alec rolled his eyes. not only should she have realized this, but Jace also shouldn’t sugar coat it, “People would be better. theirs too many locations and witnesses won’t remember by now.” Isabelle nodded, “Okay so we’ve got ‘horns’,” as Jace put it suspects are more fun with nicknames, “And a bunch of Randoms. No ones come up in the system for purple skin and horns though,” “A demon?” Jace suggested. “Maybe,” Isabelle sighed, “It’s like we're missing something. Why would (Y/N) be with a demon?” “Kidnap?” “Spell?” “Secretly evil?” “Anyone got any other ideas?” Isabelle asked. The table was silent. “Maybe (Y/N) wanted a fresh start,” Clary suggested. “Without Magnus?” Alec rolled his eyes, “Did you see how Magnus was?” “But what about how (Y/N) was?” She pressed, “Maybe they wanted out. Or maybe this guy convinced them. Like a friend. I know if Simon had to get away I’d be the first to follow,” “So maybe this guy's also a victim?” Jace asked. “Yeah. Maybe someone on the case ran them out. If shadowhunters do hate Downworlders,” “We don’t,” Alec butted in, “Not all of us,” Isabelle stood up and walked over to the makeshift board she’d made on her wall for the case. It was inspired by the ones in movies Simon watched and was surprisingly useful. “Okay, so we look at the shadowhunters on the case. We’ve got Jadehurst, Cadleact, and Wasper. None are too fond of Downworlders,” “In fairness, not many were back then,” Jace said. “True. But they're not exactly going to talk to us,” Isabelle said as she wrote their names under suspects. Clary went to speak but Alec glared. Jace glared at Alec, “Go ahead Clary,” “Couldn’t we just ask about the original case. Say paperwork got lost and we need to fill in some blanks,” They thought about it, “That would…work. Yeah, good one Clary,” Isabelle said. Alec sulked, “Okay so tomorrow Clary and Jace go talk to as many of them as you can. They're all currently in Idris so that’s not to bad. Alec, you’ll go to Magnus. Check on him and that but you need to find out more about (Y/N). friends, history, enemies. That sort of stuff,” All nodded at their tasks, “What about you?” Jace asked, “Day off?” Isabelle kissed her teeth and put her hands on her hips, “I will be going through the photos and back search all the people to see if they're on file,” “Did that search on Marvin’s books come back yet?” Jace asked. “Tomorrow. Probably by around noon. Everyone clear on tomorrow?” they nodded. “Great. Now get out. Simon loaned me his laptop and Netflix so don’t disturb me,”

Part four

[acebarba]

Coffee Break

rewrote that one scene from transgender bridge (s17e03) where carisi asks rollins about trans people. bc trans carisi is a hc i'm willing to bring with me to the grave

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Words: 1221

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Amanda let out a small sigh as she thew the empty creamer cup into the recycling bin. It'd been so long since they'd received a case like this, a trans person being harassed to near death, she'd almost hoped they wouldn't have to deal with one again. And even in the confines of her head, she knew how ignorant that sounded. Things like this were always going to happen, as long as there's more than one person on Earth, there's always going to be arguments. But it was stressful, knowing that all these people were trying to do was live there lives, only to end up in the hospital for not being what someone thought they should be.

Upon hearing the break room door open, she turned around, stirring her coffee as Sonny walked in.

"Those poor parents, right?" He asked tiredly, seemingly upset by something. She raised an eyebrow before saying "yeah" in response and gesturing with her cup.

"You want one?"

"Yeah, please," Sonny said instantly, a little quicker than he intended. Rollins could tell but she said nothing, putting down her cup after taking a sip to fill up another. As she did so, Sonny fidgeted uncomfortably, tapping his fingers on the counter as Amanda poured in two creams and a sugar. They eventually migrated to the table, Sonny pretty much ignoring his coffee after his first sip.

"How're you holding up with all this, huh?" Amanda finally asked, Sonny looking up at her.

"Uhhh... could be better, could be worse. Certainly is bringing me back to my high school days," Sonny admitted with a tight, almost painful laugh. It felt unnatural for both of them. As much as she and the others liked to complain about it, Sonny's (for lack of better terms) sunny disposition was almost a key part of their interactions, the fact that he felt and looked so uneasy was starting to get to her.

Regardless she took another sip, looking at Sonny curiously.

"High school days, huh? Didn't know trans people always got pushed off bridges over in Staten Island," She said, making a face as she realized how distasteful that sounded out loud.

Sonny didn't seem to notice, wordlessly putting his hands around his coffee again before letting out a sigh.

"Rollins, I know you don't really like me all that much, that's still pretty understandable, but uh. If. If I told you a secret. And I asked you not to tell anyone, would you keep it? Just. Just outta curiosity," He rambled nervously. Amanda paused for a second, taking a sip so she could have a moment to process.

"Well. Firstly, it's not that I don't like you. If anything you're too likable, so much so it's infuriating," she joked, taking it as a victory when Sonny let out a quick chuckle.

"Secondly. Well I mean it depends. I don't like you enough to cover for you if you murdered someone, if that's what you're asking. But I'm assuming that's not the case," She shrugged. He nodded slowly, tapping his fingers on the table again. Amanda immediately braced herself for the worst as he leaned back, rubbing his face with both hands and letting out a soft groan. She could hear an almost inaudible "god, I'm going to regret this" escape from his mouth as he removed them, looking back at the table.

"Regret what?" She asked tentatively, Sonny looking back up at her. A hard look of hesitance spread all over his face. He could hear part of himself yelling at him to keep his mouth shut, to not say anything and save his own ass from the awkwardness that might follow. But he knew the pain of working this case and having no one to talk to about it was going to drive him insane. If was going to do it, he had to do it now.

"...I'm trans," He said quietly. Amanda blinked at him a couple times.

"I'm sorry, what?" She asked, clearly in disbelief. Sonny could feel the anxiety welling up inside him as his chest tightened.

"I'm trans. Transgender. Assigned female at birth," He reiterated, starting to feel his heartbeat in his throat. He stared back down at the table, feeling as though Amanda's silence was heavy enough to kill him.

And then it hit her. The fiddling. The look he gave when he first saw Avery. The general anxiety he'd had about her case.

That comment about high school.

Her expression softened as she shifted in her chair.

"How uh. How bad was it?" She asked softly as Sonny tried to control his breathing.

"I mean I never got pushed off a bridge or anything but 'tranny' and 'he-she' are terms I'm all too familiar with," He mused bitterly.

Amanda frowned but nodded. "Is there anyone else that knows?"

"Just Liv. And even then, she promised me she'd never bring it up unless I ask."

"So why tell me?"

"I had to tell someone. I've been afraid of accidentally outting myself to everyone. Terrified really. I mean I'm scared of doing that every day but with Avery's case it's. It's hard to not just spill everything that comes to mind. So I thought. Maybe if I told someone I'd feel better. And uh. I dunno, I guess you felt like the most viable option."

The both of them were quiet for a minute or so. At the very least, Sonny was starting to calm down, finally taking another sip of his coffee. Shifting again in her chair, Amanda thought it time to break the silence.

"Think you're ever gonna tell everyone?"

"Uh. Hell no. Remember when I first got here and I told you guys that I skipped around precincts for a while? That's because everywhere I went, someone would announce to the entire force that I was trans and some way or another I'd be harassed into switching somewhere else."

"You know Liv would never let that happen," Amanda frowned softly, Sonny letting out a sigh.

"I know she'd do her best, I trust her, but there's always someone who doesn't think a trans person shouldn't be a police officer. Believe me, I've heard it way too many times."

"I can assure you I'm not that person. I know you still think I don't like you- stop with the look, you know you do- but anyone who thinks they can say shit like that to you will have to go through Liv and I first," Amanda insisted, moving her chair over a little so she could give Sonny a pat on the shoulder. He looked over at her, giving her the first genuine smile she'd seen from him since they'd been called in.

"Thanks Rollins. It really means a lot to me."

"Any time Carisi. Anyways," Amanda said before she got up and stretched a little, finishing off her coffee. "I gotta get going. Paperwork isn't gonna finish itself."

Sonny nodded. "Of course, of course. I think I'm gonna stay here for a bit, just. Get some thoughts straightened out."

"Alright. Take care of yourself, ok Carisi?" She added, throwing her cup in the trash.

"You too 'Manda," Sonny hummed, waving to her as she did. Amanda smiled just a little at the nickname, waving back as she closed the door behind her.

[buckymorelikefuckmebarnes]

parallel

bucky x reader

warnings: sloooow burn, eventual smut, fluff, and a little angst

There is a theory out there, created by someone much smarter than I am, that says that we live a thousand lives, all parallel to the one we are living now.

What happens when you stumble onto that doorway?

6:30 am, 9th ave., Hell's Kitchen, New York

Why did you take the morning shift? You knew you were a night owl. After 8 months you still hadn't adjusted.

Coffee.

That's what you needed. You straightened your cap and adjusted the radio on your shoulder before stepping out of the cruiser and into Joe's Cafe.

There was a reason that this place was your favorite and it had very little to do with the mediocre coffee and quite a bit to do with the handsome man behind the counter. His dark hair was tied in a loose bun at the nape of his neck and he had a smile for every customer. You didn't know very much about him but that didn't stop you from fantasizing about having the nerve to ask him out someday.

James smiled at you as you stepped up to place your order.

“Morning officer, the usual?”

You nodded with a grateful smile.

You were in here every morning before your shift and you always ordered the same thing. No reason to read too far into him remembering your order. You scolded yourself.

He punched in your order and you took a seat near the counter. Your mind started to wander as you tried to keep your eyes from his face.

James was a vet. That much you knew from eavesdropping on a conversation he was having with customer one day. Lost his arm to bad infection from a piece of shrapnel. Would have been a lot worse if his friend hadn't pulled him to cover when he did. But he wasn't about to let it hold him back.

You glanced down at your watch. You had 15 minutes before you had to take over for Amanda.

James called your name and sat the cup on the counter, throwing an extra smile your way before taking the next person in lines order. You grabbed the cup and made your way to the door. The small smile on your face grew as you took a look at the messy handwriting on the cup.

Meet me here after your shift?

:) James

A real excitement bubbled up in your chest as you pulled away from the curb and you had to hold in the noise that normally came with it until you were sure you were out of sight.

You could feel the smile on your face as you walked through the station to Amanda's desk. From the tired look on her face you could tell that she'd had a rough night. You cleared your throat, leaning on the corner of her desk to get her attention.

“Ugh! It has been a night.” She complained as she stretched her arms over her head. “Give me just a second to finish this report.” Her fingers flew across the keyboard for a few moments and then her eyes were back on you.

“What are you so smiley about?” She asked tilting her head to the side.

“Nothing, Manda. What is going on?”

She squinted her eyes at you before starting to speak again. “A few home invasions. No one hurt. Nothing taken, a decent amount of damage though.

You raised a startled eyebrow at her.

“There was no sign of forced entry, and no suspects.” You watched her face fall. “We can't seem to figure out how they got in or out. All of the doors and windows were locked. It's crazy.” She scrubbed her hands against her face.

“Fingerprints?” You asked, feeling yourself being sucked into the mystery of it all.

“None that we have on file.”

You let out a huff. “Well, if we don't have anything to go off of hopefully when can catch the guy in the act.”

“That sounds like your problem for the next few hours.” She stated pushing away from her desk. “I'm gonna try to catch some sleep. Oooooh. What's this?” She asked, picking up your cup.

“Nothing.” You responded, your thoughts preoccupied with the home invasions.

“Doesn't look like James would call it nothing.” She said teasingly.

You smiled up at her. The name breaking you from your trance. “Nothing yet, that is.” You wiggled your eyebrows in a way you knew would make her laugh.

You were rewarded with a small giggle before she grabbed her purse. “Good luck, honey. Be safe out there.”

10:00 am, 51st street, Hell's Kitchen, New York

You were pretty sure that it had been 10am for two hours. The day was going by slower than you could handle. You tried to deal with it by letting your mind wander but your thoughts kept going back to James. The butterflies in your stomach were distracting until a call came over the radio. The dispatcher said that there was a call from Stella Tower on west 50th. A woman in the neighboring apartment heard what sounded like fighting. You were the closest available unit.

10:40 am, Midtown Precinct South, Hell's Kitchen

“I turned on the siren and made my way through traffic. In just a few minutes I was close enough to park the car along the sidewalk and make my way inside. I found the apartment quickly. From the sounds coming from the other side of the door the fight was still going on. I was able to push into the room and I was shocked by the destruction around me. Broken furniture and shattered mirrors surrounded two men who were still beating the shit out of each other. One was in what I could only describe as a magician's costume and the other looked, well he looked like he was made of rock. I called for backup and made my way towards the men. I called out warnings but the men ignored me. The magician guy spun his hand and kicked the rock guy into a shimmering, god was it a portal or a doorway?”

You put your head into your hands.

Retelling the story to your superiors was humiliating. You sounded like a lunatic.

“I think you should go home for the rest of the day, you obviously saw something traumatic and your brain isn't letting you process it. We'll talk to you tomorrow morning and see if you need to be put on administrative leave.”

Your mouth popped open in shock but no words came out.

“We'll see you at 7 tomorrow. Get out of here and get some rest.”

You nodded and grabbed your bag, leaving your radio and cap in the top drawer of your desk. You stepped out into the street and called a cab to take you home.

11:30 am, your apartment

You were laying across the width of your bed trying to make sense of the day when your stomach growled and an idea hit you like a freight train.

You got dressed and grabbed two slices of pepperoni pizza from the pizza parlor next to Joe's. You peeked in to see James leaning on the counter talking to a customer with a smile on his face. You took a deep breath and squared your shoulders before opening the door.

The bell above you chimed lightly. James looked up and smiled at you. He saw the take out containers in your hands and raised an eyebrow at you before turning towards the back of the shop.

“Hey Trent! I'm gonna head out for lunch real quick. Can you keep an eye out up front?” He yelled as he untied his apron and threw it on the counter.

Trent's mumbled reply must have been a 'yes' because James wasted no time leading you to the tables in front of the store.

“So you couldn't wait?” He joked.

“Um... no. I had a surprise afternoon off and I figured if I didn't do it now I wouldn't. Plus I needed to take my mind off of work for a bit.”

“Rough day.”

“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”

You two talked for his entire lunch break and ended up trading cell phone numbers before parting ways. There was a skip in your step as you walked back to your apartment. You sent a text to Amanda, knowing that she would be curious tonight when she came in to work.

Hey. Some crazy shit happened this morning at work. They sent me home. Might be off for a while. However, had lunch with James just now. So the day wasn't a total loss. Text me when you get up.

You made it to your apartment and without anything else to do you settled in to watch Netflix and nap.

You woke up nearly 6 hours later with a stiff neck and 7 text messages from Amanda, each getting more desperate for details before dropping down into a more serious tone.

Lunch with James. Ooh ;)

Tell me more.

Wait! They sent you home?

What happened?

Y/N! Don't leave me hanging!

Just talked to the captain.

Doesn't look like they are going to want you in tomorrow. What did you see?

There was also a voicemail from Captain Martin asking you to return his call.

You sighed and dialed his phone number.

“Y/N?” He asked across the line.

“Yes, sir? You asked me to call.”

“Yeah. I think it would be best if you took the rest of the week off. Rest up your mind before you come back Monday.”

You stuttered into the phone for a few seconds before forming an answer. “Yes, sir. I'll see you Monday.”

The line went dead and you started to wander your apartment aimlessly. After a while you started to clean up and organize the mess that a full work life had left you with.

By the time you had gathered up the last load of laundry your stomach was growling like crazy, you grabbed the baskets you sat on the floor in the living room and headed to the 24-hour laundry place down the road.

You scrolled through Facebook on your phone while you waited for a set of washers to open up. On a whim you decided to search for James. It didn't take long for you to find him and you spent a good five minutes scrolling through his profile. You went to send him a friends request when your phone vibrated.

Hey. Dinner tomorrow night? X James

You smiled as you typed out your reply.

Sounds great. Tomorrow at 7?

You stuck your phone into your bag and tossed your laundry in a freshly emptied washer. Your stomach rumbled and you glanced out the windows, looking for something quick to eat.

You spotted a sandwich shop down the street and headed towards it. The sun was setting behind the buildings and you wrapped your arms around your torso to battle the early evening chill. You hadn't gotten far when you heard a woman scream. You took off running full speed towards the sound, you dialed 911 and gave the information you had to dispatch. You hung up and found the source of the sound. A frightened looking elderly woman was pointing down a nearby alley that had a faint gold glow.

“mostro, mostro e strega!” The woman cried out in italian and you ran towards the glow.

The two men from earlier seemed to still be going at it.

This has to be some kind of joke. You thought to yourself as you charged towards them. You knocked one of the men through the portal from earlier before it closed behind you. You stood, prepared for a fight as the magician dusted off his robes.

“What the hell was that?” He asked, clearly annoyed that you had stopped the violence.

“Excuse me?” You asked, anger creeping into your voice. “You have been causing so much trouble! I got suspended because of you and your stupid rock buddy. Wait. Where am I?” You took in the scene around you. The area looked familiar but you were certain that you had never been in such a dodgy area before. A sudden feeling of unease filled your stomach and you started to panic. The man stood in front of you with a knowing smirk on his face.

“You're in another dimension... and handling it quite well I might add.”

Your vision started fading and the man's voice sounded like it was under water. Your legs buckled and your body hit the pavement below you.

[sinkat-arts]

Title: Nothing More, Nothing Less Fandom: DDaDDS (Dream Daddy) Pairing: Robert/Dadsona(Seth) Rating: M (ish??) Notes: @sallyamongpoison​ wrote this cuteness for our dadsona, Seth, and Mat for the prompt “You can have me any way you’d like, baby.” Of course, I wondered how that would play out with Robert. Sooooo.... have a lil bit of hurt/comfort.  Warnings: alcohol, pushy drunken attempt to initiate sex, depression

The doorbell buzzed. And buzzed. And buzzed in rapid succession several more times before Seth managed to pull on his pajama bottoms, grab his phone out of pure habit, and stumble into the kitchen. Bleary-eyed, he squinted for a long, hard moment at the clock on the microwave, wondering why in the world it was blinking 5:40PM at him. It was clearly not 5:40PM. The sun was typically... a little more up at 5:40PM. He sighed and rolled his eyes in disgust – it was blinking the wrong time at him because he’d neglected resetting it after the last storm rolled through and knocked the power out. Damn, he was really falling down on the job now that Amanda was gone. 

That thought twinged a little - it’d been a few months now, and it wasn’t any easier to remember that her room was empty and he was on his own for the first time in... well, forever. No time to reflect on that right now, though. The damn doorbell was still going off, and if he didn’t know for a fact that Amanda was 100 miles away and snuggled safely into bed, he’d be more concerned and less annoyed.

Well, wait a minute. She was 100 miles away, right? He’d just texted with her, what, around 11:00 that night? Still, something could have happened. Oh lord, what if something had happened? What if it was so bad, she had to make the two hour drive home in the middle of the night? Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

Much more awake now, Seth pulled his phone out of his pocket, saw that the message indicator was blinking – she’d sent him messages after he went to sleep, surely - and made a panicked dash to the door. He was fully convinced - it had to be Amanda. She’d had to leave so suddenly that she forgot her key. She was in trouble, clearly. His Manda Panda was out in the cold, ringing the doorbell to her own home, and Seth had been lollygagging about, berating himself for not resetting a clock on a microwave. For shame.

Quick steps took him to the door where he unlocked the it and turned the deadbolt. Just a few seconds, a twist of the knob, and Amanda could come inside and be safe and warm. Seth pulled the door open, face tense, and prepared to receive his daughter. Except…

Well, that wasn’t his daughter. Her name died on his lips as his face went slack and his head tilted to the side quizzically. It took a bit, shifting gears, when sleep was interrupted far too soon and your mind was full of cobwebs and adrenaline, but it finally clicked.

“Took you long enough,” the man outside his door complained. “I was about convinced you’d gone to Musclehead’s for the night.”

“Robert?” Seth asked, eyebrows raising.

“In the flesh,” he grinned, but there was something off about it. There was something off about this whole thing. Outside of the fact that it was the dead of the night – no, that was pretty in character for the man, if Seth was being honest with himself – Robert looked… like he’d been drinking too much and sleeping too little. Smelled like it, too. His eyes were dull and bloodshot, his cheeks were sallow, his hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in several days, and his grin was… a little unhinged.

Fuck. All signs pointed to some kind of relapse.

For a moment, Seth considered calling Val, but then Robert was pushing his way inside, bringing the cold of winter with him. Shivering, Seth closed the door and turned… only to find himself pinned, back smashed against his own front door, breath crushed right out of him as insistent hands gripped at his hips and hungry lips crashed into his. Robert.. he smelled like sweat and whiskey and tasted like cigarettes.

How many times since Amanda’s graduation party had Seth dreamed of Robert resolving his issues? Coming to him with arms open, smiling and saying he was finally ready for them? Fuck, he’d smiled and hugged Robert - supportive, always supportive - when the man had asked to cool things down for his mental health... but that night, despite how proud he really was of Robert, Seth cried a little for it. And had cried for it since. He respected the decision, would support the man however he could, but truly, it had broken his heart a little to back off... and it left him lonely, so lonely, once Amanda had gone off to school.

So the temptation was there to just go with it. Later, if things got weird, he could claim being half asleep as an excuse, maybe. That could work. Or maybe this meant Robert wanted to try for romance while he worked on himself. That wasn’t too farfetched was it?

Yes. Yes, it fucking was, and Seth damn well knew it.

“Whoa, whoa,” Seth gasped, trying to escape from the onslaught… but there really was nowhere for him to go. Back’s against the wall, he thought and then corrected himself, no, the door. Back’s against the door.  “S-slow down, cowboy.” 

“You want it slow, huh?” Robert murmured, and Seth winced at how deeply slurred his words were. “That’s ok.” Robert pressed harder, rolled his hips and groaned. “You can have me any way you’d like, baby.”

What… what was that? That didn’t sound like Robert. And this… this wasn’t like Robert, either. Even that first night in town, when Seth had gotten a little too tipsy at the bar and followed Robert home, the man had asked permission. It was gruff and crude, but it was still asking for consent. And then he’d dropped it when Seth had declined the offer… no grousing, no pushing. But this… this was nothing like that.

Robert ducked his head, angling for more of those clumsy, wet kisses, but Seth… he couldn’t let this go on. No matter how much his heart had yearned for something like this, it had also wanted it to be right when it happened. This was… the farthest thing from right. It felt pretty fucking left to Seth, so he raised a hand and placed a single finger over Robert’s lips.

“You stopping me?” he asked around Seth’s finger. If it hadn’t been such a bizarre and potentially terrible situation, the effect would have been funny. As it was, it just made Seth’s heart ache.

“You’re drunk, Robert.”

“And? Do you want me or not?”

Well, that was a question he couldn’t answer truthfully, at least not without an explanation a mile long.

“No.”

That did it. Robert’s bloodshot eyes opened wide and there was something like heartbreak written on his face before the familiar old haughty, impotent anger took over. That… that was an expression Seth hadn’t seen since Robert had decided to go to therapy, to clean up and fix things with his daughter. It was the old Robert. The self-destructive asshole who may have been hiding a vulnerable and wounded heart, but was an asshole nonetheless.

“You don’t... So, what? Someone else? Craig? You’re really fucking Craig, then?” Robert accused, jealousy fueled by whiskey. Eyes narrowed, he took several steps back. “Brawn over brains, huh? That fucking empty-headed jock do it for you... bro? I bet he moans that in your ear, huh? Oh, bro, that’s so good, bro.”

A spike of anger shot through Seth’s chest. Craig was one of his oldest friends, and despite his penchant for bro-ing it up, he was hardly empty-headed. The man was raising three daughters and running a successful company all on his own. He was a good man with problems all his own. What had Robert been doing that made him so superior? In what productive way had he contributed? What gave him the right to judge... anyone?

But this wasn’t about Craig. Not really. Seth took a deep breath, closing his eyes on the exhale, and willed that anger to die down. It was defensive and small, and while he had every intention of dressing Robert down for being cruel to his friend later, doing so right now would harm far, far more than it helped.

“I am not,” Seth answered in a level tone, eyes opening to meet Robert’s. They were shining. There were… were those tears? Robert’s face was still screwed up with anger, but his eyes… that was pain. “Craig is my friend. You know that,” he explained, voice going softer as he took a slow step towards Robert and reached up to squeeze Robert’s shoulder. “We go way back, but it’s not like that.”

An odd mix of emotions washed over the other man’s face. Seth thought one of them might have been relief, but it resolved itself back into stubborn anger as Robert shrugged Seth’s hand off his shoulder.

“So, what? Doesn’t matter to me. It’s just a fuck, after all,” His voice was lower, touched with petulance and under that… sadness. “Doesn’t mean anything. But if you don’t want me...”

Another deep breath. It really was too fucking late – or early – for this. But when did the big stuff ever wait until you were well-rested and ready to face a challenge? Never, that’s when.

“I don’t want you… like this, Robert,” Seth explained, then raised a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. “This… these aren’t the terms you set for yourself, and you know it. This... this is where you were three months ago.” Seth shook his head and then ventured to place his hand on Robert’s shoulder again as he lowered his head to catch the man’s eyes, heartbreaking for the hopelessness he saw there. “What happened? You seemed… things seemed better?”

For a moment, Seth thought he’d be shrugged away again, that Robert would dig his heels in and keep arguing… or worse, leave to go continue destroying himself alone elsewhere. Seth held his gaze, even though it hurt, and after a tense few moments, Robert softened. Thank god, Robert softened.

“Nothing ever gets better,” he mumbled and lowered his head, “Doesn’t matter what I do. I can’t… I can’t fix the past. Val says she forgives me, but... I’m… I’m a shitty, selfish person. Broken. A permanent fuck up. There’s no point in trying any more.”

“Yes, there is…” Seth started, but Robert cut him off.

“No, there fucking isn’t. The therapy isn’t working. It’s… it’s too much. I can’t do it. And I’m…” His voice caught in his throat, his jaw worked as he fought to contain whatever emotion was threatening to force its way out - a fight he ultimately lost. The tears that had made his eyes bright and flashing earlier spilled over dark lashes and his voice came out in a raspy, slurred whimper. “I’m so… lonely.”

Those words, spoken in that small, lost voice, struck Seth square in the chest, visceral, like he’d been punched, hard and fast. This man… the man before him… he’d shouldered so much. He felt so much. He held on to the burden of his past and punished himself for each and every time he’d fallen short. He’d been his own judge, jury and executioner. And it hurt. A burning ache in the chest, a strangled feeling in Seth’s throat. Heartbreaking to know that this whole time… this whole time, Robert hadn’t been better… he’d just gotten better at hiding his depression. And he’d been… alone. Lonely, as Seth had been, only worse because Robert had demons to fight… and they apparently weren’t ready to give up yet.

“Oh, my darling,” Seth breathed, closing the gap between them and collecting Robert into his arms without a second thought for what it would mean or how things might change. “I’ve got you. You’re alright. You’ll be alright.”

Robert cried as Seth held him, sobs that shook his whole body... and Seth wept, too, silent, hot tears of his own trailing down his cheeks. They stood like that for… well, it was hard to tell. Time stopped at a certain point, got weird sometime between midnight and the crack of dawn. All he knew was that he’d stand there, one arm wrapped tightly around Robert as his other hand stroked through his hair, for as long as he was needed.

There wasn’t much more talking, not for a while. Robert was too drained and too drunk, and Seth was too exhausted to form coherent thoughts. When Robert cried himself out, he tried to pull back, embarrassed… but Seth held him firmly, wiped his tears away, and kissed his rough cheek.

“I should go…” Robert finally said, though it was clear that he was barely holding himself together. If Seth hadn’t been holding him up, he suspected Robert would have crumbled to the floor long ago.

“No,” Seth answered, “You won’t be alone tonight.”

Too gone to protest, Robert let Seth lead him up the stairs. He was pliant as Seth peeled him out of his clothes. Obedient as he was herded into the bathroom for a quick shower. Dry and warm in bed, he curled into Seth’s chest without complaint, pressing in close like he was desperate for this kind of touch. Tenderness. Something soft and gentle. Seth supposed he probably was.

“I fucked up,” he finally said, his voice pulling Seth back from the sleep he’d nearly fallen into.

“You did,” Seth agreed.

A heavy, sad sigh from Robert was his response.

“You fucked up,” Seth went on, one hand rubbing a slow path up and down Robert’s back, “But who hasn’t? You’re healing, man. It’s… it’s a set back, not the end of the road.”

“Feels bigger than that…”

“Right now it does, yeah,” Seth murmured, then tilted his head to press a kiss into hair that was still damp from the shower. “Might still feel bad tomorrow or a week from now. That’s ok. The important thing is… don’t beat yourself up for it. Pick up from here and go, Robert. Don’t… don’t stop, please.” Seth’s voice cracked, either from emotion or exhaustion. Likely both. They fell into quiet again, and Seth’s eyes slid closed, lulled by the slow up and down rhythm of Robert’s breathing.

“Thank you,” came Robert’s voice, and Seth’s eyes fluttered open at the sound.

“Didn’t do anything…” Seth murmured, eyes already closing again.

“You… you still want me,” Robert answered, “That’s enough.”

Seth hummed in response, a sleepy smile crossing his face. “You said I could have you any way I want, remember?”

He was rewarded with a chuckle in response. A good sound. A very, very damn good sound.  Wonderful even, enough to get Seth’s eyes burning with the good kind of tears.

“I did say that…”

“Then I’d like you as you are, please,” Seth answered, a little thickly, “A good man just trying to be better.”

“Oh come on, I’m an asshole,” Robert returned quickly, an attempt at a contrary joke... but his voice was just as thick.

Seth grinned and let out a chuckle. “Then I lay here, corrected. A good man who is also kind of an asshole, but is trying to be better. That’s how I want you. As you. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“That’s not a lot. You deserve more than…”

“Those are my terms,” Seth answered, cutting Robert off before he could cut himself down.

“Alright, then.”

“Alright.”

Sleep took them both not long after, and for the next several hours, everything was warm and perfect in their cocoon of blankets. They slept soundly now, both knowing there was hard work ahead. The next morning would be full of coffee and ibuprofen and tentative affection. The next evening would be full of careful conversation, feeling each other out and deciding how they fit together moving forward. Trying to, anyway, and… and if the end result was that Robert still needed a friend more than a lover, Seth would understand. He knew he’d be there for Robert, however he could help. Whatever was in his power to do, he’d do. Even if sometimes it hurt a little, it would be worth it to see the man really smile. To see him healing. To see him find happiness.To see him be... himself. Robert - healthy and secure.

Seth would accept nothing more and nothing less than that, after all.