#Man I really need to buckle down and draw this stuff...

[deathwords334]

Post Good Dogma Drabble (But not really?)

(There's like 1k written here so...)

Finally, the Metatron had stopped walking.  The newly anointed Supreme Archangel made an abrupt stop behind him, thankfully not bumping into him.  Until then, Aziraphale hadn’t realized that he had been ignoring the angelic being.  Naturally, his thoughts were elsewhere, something he had to try and control in the near future.  Lucky for him, however, it didn’t seem like his boss noticed his absent mindedness.  Instead, the Metatron was motioning to an all too familiar figure that was now standing beside them.  “I have assigned Azrael to be your assistant from now on.  I’m sure you two have a lot in common.”

“Certainly, sir.”  The angel answered cooly.  Likewise, Aziraphale nodded in agreement.

Content, the Metatron started walking again, leaving the two behind.  “Very good.  Well, guess I’ll leave you to get comfortable.  Azrael, report back to me if any changes are needed.”

He nodded.  “Yes, sir.”

“…”  Aziraphale watched as their boss slowly disappeared into the white void that was the offices.  It almost felt like he was going slower than normal just to draw out the pain.  The boredom of watching the Metatron forced the blonde to direct his focus back to his new assistant.  Azrael, the Archangel of Death.  Indeed, the two had met before.  Several times, actually.  The last time the two spoke was soon after a big mishap that involved two banished angels and the descendant of one Son of God.  The two barely spoke in comparison to Crowley, but in an odd way, he felt like he understood the being a little more.  Once their boss was but a speck in the distance, Aziraphale breathed a shaky sigh of relief.  “My.  This is surreal.  It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“It has, Supreme Archangel Aziraphale.”

“Oh dear.”  Aziraphale laughed nervously.  Azrael was as cold as always.  “That title doesn’t sound right, coming from you.”

“Mm…”  The sound trailed a sigh.  The archangel’s lips were pressed together.  Aziraphale knew that look.

“What?”

“Best I don’t say.”

But Aziraphale shook his head, motioning with his hands for emphasis.  “Oh no, please.  If we’re going to be working together, I hope we’d be able to speak our mind.”

“It’s not a luxury I can afford, Supreme Archangel Aziraphale.”

He pouted a little.  That did nothing.  “Fine.”  He chose to ignore the archangel’s suppressed snort, and instead crossed his arms in defiance.  “Well, you’re an angel.”

“Not sure about that.”  Azrael murmured under his breath.

“Your title is Archangel.  Honesty is part of the job.”

Azrael looked his boss up and down, his blank expression not giving himself away.  But Aziraphale knew better.  He could feel the surprise: the archangel was calculating his response.  “You’re requesting something.”

“What was it you wanted to say?  Tell me the truth.”

A pause.  “It won’t be to your liking.”

“Please.”

Another pause.  Finally, a sigh.  Aziraphale had won.  “… The title doesn’t suit you.”

“Pardon?”

“You shouldn’t be here.  Your place is on Earth.  I don’t know how I can even deal with-  Mmmph.”  He forced his lips together tight, his body wrenching as a result.  The being shook his head and averted his gaze.

Aziraphale smiled sadly.  “… You’ve been holding back, haven’t you.”  Such a poor angel.

“You know what I am.  My proverbial leash is short.”  Azrael inhaled sharply.  He was thinking again, and his gaze grew cold.  How odd, Aziraphale noted to himself.  If you paid close attention, one could still see hints of emotion behind that dead man’s face.  Azrael turned back towards his new boss, resolute.  “I’m the Metatron’s lapdog.”

In response, the angel offered a smile and took his hands.  Initially, Azrael was startled by this, but didn’t back away.  “But now you’re my second in command.”

He shook his head.  “An empty title.  All I’m needed for is to blow the horn at the end of days.” 

“I can make things better.  Give you and the other death angels the respect you deserve.”  Aziraphale drew closer.  He could feel his chest growing tighter, but it wasn’t a bad feeling.  He had lost the one being in the universe that he knew he could trust.  Even someone as well intentioned but naive as Muriel would’ve been appreciated behind enemy lines.  But finally, he had someone.  An ally.  Potentially… 

“Thank you for the thought....”  Azrael slid his hands out of Aziraphale’s grip.  The Supreme Archangel deflating a little.  If Azrael didn’t know better, it almost looked like the blonde was going to cry.  He wished he could comfort him, but this was not the place.  Instead, Azrael motioned towards an empty desk.  “Is your workspace to your liking?”

He looked over the bare, white space.  “Oh.  Well, it’s rather… empty.”

“I’ll bring paperwork later.  There’s a lot of it, I promise.”

He chuckled.  “You misunderstand.  I was thinking maybe we could add something to… give it character.”

“Human objects are not allowed in Heaven.”

“But Heaven can make… stuff.  We always did.”

Azrael nodded.  “I will retrieve a phone for you later.  I’ll need you to fill out a form.”

“I meant like a plant.  Or a book.”

“… Heaven no longer makes those.  It’s considered impractical.  Reserved for where souls reside.”

“Ah.  Of course.”  Aziraphale sighed.

“… I’ll leave you to get comfortable.”

“Oh that’s not necessary.  You can stay a while longer.”

“I’m afraid I have errands to run.”  Before Aziraphale could respond, something caught his eye.  Azrael was tapping his pen; it was erratic, suppressing a strong kinetic energy.  He was holding himself back again.  After everything he and Crowley had been through, he recognized what the archangel was trying to do.

“Yes.  I suppose you do.”  Aziraphale’s answer was slow, but pointed.  Their eyes met for maybe a little too long, but he made sure that no one observing would think it odd.  And he ended it all with a little, knowing smile.

Azrael pressed his lips together and nodded gently.  The message was received.  “You know where my department is.  Until we get you a phone, you can find me there.”  He turned on his heel.  “Till then.  Goodbye, Supreme Archangel.”

And with that, he was gone.  Guess that confirmed that the Metatron was in fact stretching out his departure.  Or maybe Azrael was just in a rush.  Surely being an angel of death was a busy role.  But deep down, Aziraphale had hoped that maybe Azrael could’ve stuck around a while longer.  He sighed.  He really was alone now.  Alone in the clouds… 

Crowley… If only he was here.

[sauriansolutions]

Based on a conversation I was having with @askbloatedbellyblog re: Cater belly kink!

For background, we'd been discussing how Cater canonically dislikes sweets, and I introduced my headcanon that he secretly gorges on savory snacks when in private.

Self indulgent silliness below the rm~

Extremely "😳" thought: 

Imagine... 

Cater has just wolfed down a huge order of loaded nachos, and is basking in the afterglow of his clandestine feast, when Riddle calls an impromptu meeting. 

Cater scrambles to clean all the tortilla crumbs and queso off his uniform and his face. Then he realizes... he's eaten so much, he can barely get his pants buckled. 

Struggling frantically, Cater stuffs himself into his clothes anyway, praying to the Great Seven that his Housewarden won't notice anything's off. 

He arrives, and... ugh, it's as he dreaded. 

Cater tries--he really tries!--to stand stiffly, still, at attention like all the others. Meanwhile, Riddle goes on and on about homework completion rates or whatever.

But. Cater's clothes are too tight. Especially his waistband. He starts shifting from foot to foot, completely stuffed full of nachos, and starting to really regret it. He feels so bloated, greasy, uncomfortable. 

Just when Cater feels like he can't stand it anymore, somebody accidentally bumps into him and he lets out this ridiculously loud mega-burp, right when Riddle's back is turned. 

Riddle whips around, face scarlet in affront. "Who did that?!" he demands to know.

Silence. 

Riddle sniffs the air, then begins to positively grind his teeth in anger. 

"And why, pray tell, does it suddenly smell like jalapenos and chili peppers in here?!"

Cater breaks out in cold sweat. On one hand... that belch just alleviated so much pressure. Yes. He really needed that! Miraculously, his pants feel like they fit now! 

On the other hand, Riddle is going to find him out, and then probably remove his head from hia body, and not even in the metaphorical sense! 

Riddle marches up and down the aisle while all stand in line at attention, drill-sergeant style, giving each "soldier" a suspicious look, and a once-over with narrowed eyes. 

Cater is about to have a panic attack right there and then, when.

Unexpectedly, Trey steps forward with a hand raised and an embarrassed smirk. 

"Sorry Riddle, that was me."

"Trey??" Riddle and several others--Cater included--gasp.

"Ahh, yeah," Trey laughs and sheepishly rubs his stomach. "See, I've been experimenting with some sweet-and-spicy recipes lately. And, uhh, the results have been a little, volatile."

Riddle draws himself up, glares at his vice prefect, then snaps, 

"Well, alright... I suppose I can excuse your indiscretion just this once! But, no more of this 'experimenting' within the Heartslabyul walls without my explicit say-so, understand?"

"Of course, Housewarden," Trey replies with a slight bow, as a few others chuckle in relief now that the tension is dispersed.

After the meeting is over, Cater runs to Trey, feeling near-collapse with gratitude. 

"Trey-Trey, omg, you're the man!" Cater grips his friend by the shoulders and shakes him, a little insistent. "Why'd you cover for me like that, though?"

Trey just gives his classic cockeyed smirk, and starts laughing quietly. 

"Cay-kun, did you realize you have queso on your chin?"

To Cater's mortification, Trey uses his handkerchief to wipe his face. 

"Hey, it's ok," Trey assures his friend in an undertone. "You're allowed to like whatever kind of food you like. Please don't feel like you need to subsist on cherry pies and sweet tea, just because you're in Heartslabyul."

"Ughh, duuude," Cater laughs, trying to play off the genuine gratitude he feels but doesn't quite know what to do with. "I know you're right, but... Housewarden Rosehearts is kind of a handful, isn't he? How do you deal with him so easily?"

At this, Trey's smug grin becomes "knowing," and, wry, he shakes his head. 

"Let's just say... I've known Riddle for quite a long time now. And in that time, I've learned the best ways to keep him appeased."

"Like how?" Cater asks. 

"Well, for example..." Trey leans in, like he's divulging a deep secret. "After today, I'm going to have to make sure I have plenty of chili-cornbread and jalapeno-honey muffins for him to sample."

"In fact, if you happen to have the time, would you care to drop by the Heartslabyul kitchen and perhaps help me bake some?"

[barleyo]

My Hero.

Spider-Noir X Fem! Reader (smut)

A/N: Hey, sorry that I've been gone for so long! Hope you all enjoy this little drabble of this charming ass man, even though it is rather short and all over the place, and even if I may have messed his character up a bit! Let me know if you want more Noir stuff.

Wordcount: 1.3K

Tags: Sex with a stranger, public sex, maybe a bit OOC (?), oral (m receiving), mentions of violence, mentions of robbery, teeny tiny itty bitty amount of femdom if you MAYBE squint

(Y/N) felt the man push her back into an alleyway, her back pressed against the rough brick of a wall behind her. 

“Let go! Stop it, let go!” She tried to pull her small purse away from the man who had been robbing her. Her hands were smaller and weaker than his, she could not have held on for much longer. She gave the purse a final tug, successfully pulling it out of the man’s hands. “Get away from me,” she screeched.

“Listen,” the man said while his hand reached in his back pocket, drawing out a small knife, “hand over the pure and nobody gets hurt, yeah? Make this easy for the both of us.” 

Her arms instinctively clutched her arms around the bag, eyes blown wide in fear. 

“Fine then, have it your way.” The man flipped the blade of the knife outwards, pressing it against her neck. The cold blade rested against her, lightly pressing into her skin as if to act as a warning.

Though her throat constricted, she managed to choke out a plea for help, voice cracking while she called out for someone. 

“Help m–” she barely finished her sentence before a body flashed in front of her. The only thing she made out was the man who had her pinned to a wall earlier was then scurrying away out of the alley, coughing and holding his side as he ran. 

(Y/N)’s eyes scanned the ground quickly, noticing a hat sitting on the ground. She bent down to grab it. She picked it up and inspected it, wiping off what little dirt had collected at the brim.

“I believe that’s mine, miss. If you do not mind?” 

Her head snapped up to a masked man standing in front of her, holding his hand out for his hand back. She slowly nodded and gave it to him, looking at him confusedly. 

“You are that one Spider-Man fellow, aren’t you?” Her eyes narrowed and head tilted, looking him over. “The one everyone has been talking about?”

“Oh, I, uh, I suppose I am.” He quickly adjusted his hat back onto his head. “Are you all right, miss? I saw that man had a knife, he did not hurt you, did he?”

“You saved me,” she said blankly, not answering his question.

“Yes, yes, I did. Now–”

“Why did you save me?”

Even with the mask, he looked taken aback. 

“You needed help, didn’t you?”

She bit the inside of her cheek, feeling assured by his words and energy. Despite what the news had said about him, he did seem like a good man. He had saved her, and it helped that he was quite handsome, as far she could tell through the mask. His voice was clear, and he was polite. She decided to trust him. 

“I did. I should thank you, I do not know what I would have done had you not shown up.” (Y/N) placed her hand on his shoulder, thinning out the gap between the two of them. She ran her hand over the fabric of his coat, trailing her hand from his shoulder to down the length of his arm and back up again.

“Oh, no, ma’am! It was no trouble at all, no thanks necessary.”

(Y/N) shook her head and ran her hand down to the belt loops in his pants, pulling him closer to her. “No, no. To apologize for my rudeness earlier, and to thank you for what you did… I really should pay you back.” She looked up at him through her eyelashes, lipstick covered mouth hanging slightly open. “May I?”

Peter’s eyes shifted from (Y/N) to the street outside of the alley. “What if someone sees us?” His hand hovered over his belt buckle, pants straining to contain his needy length. 

“It is nighttime, isn’t it? Look around,” she motioned, “no one here. Thinking about it, it was a bit foolish of me to call out for help, nobody but you could have shown up,” she sighed, and brushed the thought off.

“Right… well…”

She sank to her knees. The rough ground was sure to bruise and scuff them both as her dress hitched up over her thigh, leaving her knees uncovered. 

“I-I don’t know, are you sure?”

“Of course. I owe it to you, right?” (Y/N) moved his hand away from his belt buckle and undid it herself. 

Peter shifted when the clinking sound of his buckle ceased, shrugging his pants lower on his hips. Tugging down his boxers, (Y/N) pulled his length out and wrapped her hand around it, giving it slow pumps.

She held eye contact with him while she worked, making sure that he was watching her as she batted her thick eyelashes up at him, flashing her teeth in a small grin whenever he had groaned or fidgeted.

“Are you ready, my hero?” she asked, teasing him slightly.

“A-ah–? Yeah, ready,” Peter said, voice hitching in his throat.

She stuck her tongue out as far as she could manage and tapped the tip of his cock on her tongue. Thin globs of pre spilled onto her tongue, a sheer coating of it filling her mouth as she licked over his full length. She used her hand to pump what she could not hit in her mouth, spitting into her palm and pumping at the base of Peter’s cock.

“Oh no,” she pulled off and examined the marks her lipstick left on him. Rings of product littered the skin, smeared from her saliva. “My lipstick, it’s all over you!”

He was lost in his pleasure, and what she was saying was lost on him. “What? Lipstick?”

She nodded.

Peter hummed and waved it off. “Doesn’t matter, just– just keep going, please,” he said, words slurring together. 

(Y/N) wrapped her lips around him again and sank her head down. She split her throat as far as it could stretch to take all of him. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, but she continued, gagging over him. 

He started to rock his hips forward, pushing further down her throat. “Christ, sorry, miss,” he said when heard her gagging get louder.

She placed her hands on the front of his thighs, steadying herself. She tapped his leg and hummed, urging him to continue and set his own pace, to use her mouth how he wanted. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you–”

He gasped as he felt her arms hook around the back of his legs and pull his hips forward. The tip kissed the back of her throat, and she let go of his legs, giving one of them a small tap. He swallowed thickly and nodded down at her.

He placed one hand on the rough brick wall, and another got lost in her hair, cradling the back of her head. He bottomed out, pushing deep into the depths of her throat. 

(Y/N) closed her eyes, holding in the tears that formed on her waterline. They leaked out from her shut lids and streamed down her reddened cheeks.

“Oh, miss, don’t cry, here,” he groaned. Taking his thumb, he wiped the tears from her face, smearing them away. “Yeah, that’s, ah,” he drew a sharp breath and cursed under his breath, legs growing weak under his weight as he felt his climax inch closer, “that’s better, yeah? Oh, Christ, you feel so good… so close.”

(Y/N) pulled off of him with a slick pop, rushing to catch her breath while she wrapped her hand around his dick again, feeling it twitch in her grasp. 

“There you go, come on now, hero,” she said with her rasping voice, throat still raw. 

Peter gritted his teeth and came. Thick spurts of cum released from his cock, most of it ending up in (Y/N)’s palm, some leaking onto the ground. She licked her hand and cleaned it off, then stood up, looking straight at Peter while he looked away. 

She placed a hand onto his shoulder again and gave it a gentle pat. “Hey, look at me, Mr. Spider-Man.” 

“Hm?”

“I wouldn’t mind seeing you again. Hopefully not after being mugged.” She removed her hand from him and walked away, heels clicking as she walked down the sidewalk. “You know where to find me.”

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

GOOOOOD AFTERNOON ITS A FRESH NEW DAY OF A FRESH NEW WEEK, IT SNOWED AND I AM ABOUT TO WATCH THE 8TH EPISODE OF MONKIE KID SEASON 4

BUCKLE UP EVERYBODY HERE WE GO I FEEL LIKE THIS ONE IS GONNA BE WILDIN

I mean after the last ones it would make sense we hitting the TENSION

(hi future knox note real quick this one is a wild ride i had several moments and its p long so heads up HGL;ASDKFJDS)

M A N

this show is wild oKAY MOVING ON LETS GO

EPS CALLED THE BROHTERHOOD I ASSUME WE’RE GONNA GET SOME MORE BACKSTORY LORE HIT ME WITH IT LETS GO I’M READY

ANOTHER DRAMATIC DUUNNNN  STARTBGSFM

MK ASKING RIGHT OFF THE BAT DARN RIGHT WHERE IS THE MONKEY GIVE HIM BACK

Sandy always advocating for explanations and communication ;-; you go Sandy

BRUH REALLY SAW HIM PLOTTING TO TAKE DOWN MONKEY KING HUH WAHT ACTUALLY HAPPENED I’M CURIOUS THEY DON’T USUALLY SAY STUFF OUTRIGHT WHATS THE TWIST

I’M SORRY???

THE WAY HE INHALES?????

EXCUSE ME???

WHATS WITH THAT FACE MR. SELF-RIGHTEOUS LOSER

I’m sorry I’m very hyped rn and holding Mk’s horrified face gently HGLS;ADKFJAW;OEFIJAF

BRUH WHATS WITH THAT FACE WHAT IS THIS

“SEE!!! HE’S BASICALLY ADMITTING IT!!” HELPGMLSKFMAEF

HE DOES LOOK SUPER FREKAING GUILTY

HUH REGRET HUH THAT’S A NEW LOOK

AW MEI YOU WERE? THAT’S HGSLKDFJDS PLS THAT’S ACTUALLY SO GREAT

“I knew you wouldn’t understand” * dramatic look to the side and closing eyes regretfully* SHUT UR DRAMATIC HECKING FACE OLD MAN WHO’S PROBBALY NOT THAT OLD BUT ALSO IS ANCIENT SQUARE UP

WDYM ITS EASIER TO ASK FOR FORGIVENESS NOT PERMISSION YOU HAVE THEIR FRIEND TRAPPED IN A SCROLL BOI THAT LINE APPLIES TO BORROWING A CAR NOT LOCKING AWAY A FRIEND FOR ALL ENTERNITY I KNEW HE WAS AT LEAST SLIGHTLY ANTAGONISTIC HECK PROBBALY THINKS HE’S DOING THE RIGHT THING TOO LOSER RELEASE THE MONKEY SCREAAAAAMS

MEI HAVING NONE OF THAT FR HGSDLKFJ “oooOooOo OOOKAAAY sUrE” HGSDJLFAL;WEF

HEY BRUH’S FAST

BET MONKEY KIGNS FASTER

nah actually that looks like a p similar speed-

wait what am i saying, the train scene, monkey king is still way faster—or well ig he could be the same speed just doesn’t need to use his full speed rnHECK DOESN’T MATTER GET THAT INKY NONSENSE AWAY FROM MY DRAGON HORSE GIRL GUY

We’re gonna have some great amv bits and transitions i’ma be able to use ngl I’m excitedGL;AKMFE

aRM

WHO’S ARM IS THAT

I’M GONNA GEUSS PENG RIGHT? THE BIRD GUY? YEAH THAT’S MY GUESS

I WONDER IF THAT’S ACTUALLY HIM WAIT HECK

IS IT INKY??? WOULD HE END UP ACTUALLY BEING IN THERE? HECK I DON’T KNOW S C R E A M S

OH THE SCREECHY EHCOY THING? YEAH PENG RIGHT? RIGHT???

SCREAMS

WDYM GREETINGS BACK OFF

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE CLOWN

Oh u pretty dramatic my boi look at you go

OH AZURE’S FACE??

HECK I’M SO

FASCINATED BY THIS GUY

LIKE HECKING MACAQUE ALL OVER AGAIN

THE PANIC AND JUST LOOKS LIKE HE CANT CONTROL ANYTHING CERTAINLY IS A LOOK ON THIS GUY DANG IT HE TRAPPED MY FAVOURITE MONKEY OF ALL TIME AND I STILL LIKE HIM DANG IT DANG IT DANG IT NICE TEETH DUDE I AM A HUGE FAN OF UNDERBITES IN CHARACTER DESIGN I DRAW PIGYS WITH EM FOR A REASON HECK THESE EPXRESSIONS HE’S MAKING LOW-KEY REMIND ME OF MONKEY KINGS EXPRESSIONS THIS IS FINE DO YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOTU THESE KIDS DUDE??? THESE PEOPLE?? DO YOU?? WEIRDO??? WHAT CHAOS ARE YOU CAUSING THAT YOU THINK IS MONKEY KINGS FAULT? OR ARE BLAMING MONKEY KING FOR OR SOMETHING HEKC I DON’T KNOW I NEED TO STOP THINKING AND JUST PRESS PLAY HECK HECK

SANDY NO LONGER WANT AN EXPLANATION HUH GHSDLKFJSDF

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT WAIT SANDY FIGHTING???

HECK PUSHED TANG OUT OF THE WAY HECK

OH THE BIG BOYS OUT

HECK SO THESE ARE THE REAL DEALS THEN???

THEY WERE TRAPPED IN TEH SCROLL??

DID MONKEY KIGN DO THAT??

WAS HE TRYING OT GET THEM OUT??

HECK BRO I’VE GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS NOW HECK

AM I GONNA GET REAL ANSWERS OR ANSWERS WITH THE NARRATORS BIASES WHICH ISN’T ACTUALLY THE TRUTH AGAIN BECAUSE I’MA LOSE IT GD;AFMASDF

SAAANNDYYY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HECK

HECK

MK JUST

BEGGING

FREAKING HECK NOT THIS AGAIN

OHHH MAN THE FLICKERING

SHOW ME THE STUPID LIONS FACE AGAIN I WANNA SEEEE

OH WOW PENGS A GLOATER I SEE HOW IT IS

WE BEEN KNEW IG I SAW THIS COMING WHY AM I REACTINGNDFLKSMDF

BOI HECK PENG READY FOR MURDER

OH YEAH??

OH YEAH???

STOP HUH?

WHATCHA DOING THERE LOSER

ARE THEY GONNA LISTEN TO YOU?

YOU LOOK SO STUPID RN I’M SORRY I’M FINE I’M JUST HE LOOKS LIKE HE’S TRYING TO KEEP CONTROL OF A SITUATOIN THAT’S RAPIDLY SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL DUE TO HIS OWN BAD DICISIONS HELLO WHERE HAVE WE SEEN THAT BEFORE, BROTHER LIKE BROTHER IG

HOLY CRAP DUDE THE

TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH AHAHAHA ANYWAY HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN

THATS

HECK DUDE

MK JUST

HECK CAN HE GET FIVE MINUTES

WITHOUT SOMEBODY BETRAYING HIM

OR USING HIM

OR HURTING HIS FRIENDS

LIKE

FIVE MINUTES???

PLS??

JERKFACE

DUDE LOOKS

SO HAPPY TO ACTUALLY SEE THEM

THEY LOOK PRETTY HAPPY TO SEE HIM

WOW HE FR

TRAPPED MONKEY KING IN THERE

AND IS REUNITING WITH THESE GUYS HECK I DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ANY OF THIS HECK

SIR YOU JUST BETRAYED THIS KID THAT TRUSTED YOU BUT HEY YOU GOT YOUR BROS BACK SO ITS FINE RIHGT? FREE TRUAMA FOR MK ITS FINE JUST GET IN LINE EVERYBODY ELSE DOES IT

guys i’m only two minutes in this is ridiculousHGSDKFJAOEWF

UM

NO

YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY HIS NAME LIKE THAT

OR SMILE AT HIM LIKE THAT

SHOVE YOUR FACE IN DIRT

UM NO

NO OUT OF HAND

GIVE HIM BACK HIS MENTOR

oh pengs spear is kinda neat its bird shaped but also talon shaped but also spear shaped, very nice

LITERALLY HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE “haha, woopsie, silly me, sorry about that” WHILE HIS FRIENDS ARE ALL HURTING ON THE FLOOR MY GODS

WE DON’T WANT AN INTRODCUTION WE WANT AN EXPLANATION OLD MAN

SHUT UR GOSH DANG TOOFY MOUTH UNLESS YOU’RE GONNA EXPLAIN

WHY ARE THEY CHILLING NOW

AND JUST OHH HEY BROOO

MK

NICE TO MEETCHA

WHAT IS THIS

HE’S SUCH A LOSER

WISE?

HE MUST NOT BE VERY WISE IF HE’S HANGING OUT WITH YOU

i’m only half joking I wanna see this fluffy fool obliterated hjGL;KSJF;AWE

Can I just say how hilariously like monkey king this guy seems to be

Mk just sweating like no but why why do this if like YEAH SERIOUSLY WHY

AND MEI JUST AIN’T NO DISCUSSION ABOUT IT HE’S A VILLIAN AND HE SUCKS

you know I actually want to take a second to appreciate Mei

she’s great

okay appreciation over

*DECKS AZURE WITH A CHAIR*

LITERALLY

THE “okay okay” IS JUST

MONKEY KING

BUT HEY IG HE’S OFFERING AN EXPLANATION

BUT LITERALLY ONLY WHEN HE ABOSLUTELY HAD TO LIKE

BRUH

LITERALLY ITS MONKEY KING BUT I WANT TO HIT HIM WITH A BOAT

JUST STRAIGHT UP SNATCHES MK

I DON’T LIKE THIS GUY

I DON’T LIKE HOW CLOSE HE’S STANDING TO MK

OR THE FACT HE ONLY EVER SEEMS TO BE TALKING DIRECTLY TO HIM AND NOBODY ELSE IN THE CREW

LIKE HE’S THE ONE PERSON HE NEEDS TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO AND GET FORGIVENESS FROM OR SOMETHIGN WHAT THE HECK I SALL THIS

OH YOUNGER AZURE

OH I WAS A STRAPPING LAD BACK THENGNSDFKMSDF

LOSER

or so ii thought

ooookaaayyyyyyyyyyy……..

interesting apprrooaaachhhhhhhhhhh

just be carrreeffullllll

I’m looking at you monkie kid crew villainizing the Jade emperor is a bit of a slippery slope there since he’s still kinda an important cultural figure bros

also interesting approach making Azure and ex-celestial dude

I’m sorry the ponytail is throwing me pls it looks so strangenGL;KAMWEOF

THATS

HELP THAT’S SO GOOFY

HECK WAIT

HHHHHH AAAAA

GGGGRRRRRRRR

AAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

kay look

l o o k

love the words this guy is saying

love em

I would ADORE

like words cannot describe how much I would adore the plot line of celestial warrior notices the guys he’s working for aren’t great and sees this monkey who fr just cares about everyone under his rule so he goes and devotes himself to that person instead and wants to see him rise to great heights to help more people and become an even greater ruler because he can see how much potential he has and no matter how many people say OH BIG CELESTIAL WARRIOR SHOULD RULE he knows he doesn’t have the same heart and just genuine care that this other person does so he always deflects to make sure he’s getting the best of it and being in charge where he can do the most good KAY I WOULD ADORE THAT BUT I KONW THAT’S NOT EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS AND HE CLEARLY ASSUMED SOMETHING OR SOMEBODY TURNED ON SOMETHING BUT HECK H E C K PLS

HECK I KNEW HERE THERE WAS A WARRIOER WITH MY IDEALS UHUH YEAH THEN HE GETS TRUAMA BUT ITS FINE

ALSO

NGL

I REALLY LOVE

HOW THEY MAKE

EVEYRONE LOOK AT WUKONG PLS HGLSDKFOWE

just absolutely smitten  platonically romantically whatever I just think its great how there’s just people like Macaque and Azure who just look at Wukong and just go “yup i’m gonna dedicate my life to this guy he’s so freaking cool, bro moment-“ AND THEN IG THEY PUT HIM TOO HIGH ON A PEDESTAL AND WHEN HE INEVITABLY WOBBLES THEY JUMP SHIP AND NOBODY CATCHES HIM WHEN HE FALLS I’M ASSUMING A LOT I’M JUST HECK HECK HECK THIS IS THE EXACT KINDA NONSENSE I WANT THIS IS RIDICULOUSGN;SDLKFMWEO F

Mk fr looks much calmer standing there next to Azure and i still got alarm bells going off, he’s way too used to standing next to people who want to hurt him his friends and monkey king hGLKJS;DF

“we we’re gonna change everything, it was glorious”

y

you mean you were gonna

try and fight heaven

and

overthrow the emperor

and inevitably get put back in your place

only monkey king takes the brunt of that-

SORRY STILL MAKING ASSUMPTIONS BASED ON MY JTTW KNOWLEDGE I KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE DIFFERENTNG;LSDKMFE

HANG ON

GO B

GO BACK

HANG ON

I NEED TO GO LOOK AT THESE IMAGES REAL QUICK BECAUSE OH MY GOOODNESS PLS

PRINCESS IRON FAN WAS A CELESITAL????

I DON’T REMEMBER THIS IN JTTW AM I LOSING MY TOUCH??

ALSO WAIT THAT’S SO GREAT FOR HER AND DBK’S RELATIONSHIP PLS

THAT’S SO GREAT HELPGMLSDKFAMWE

NEZHA, ERLANG SHANG IT LOOKS LIKE AND IRON FAN WHY IS THAT GETTING TO ME PLS HGSLDFJWE

OFC

OFC DBK FELL FOR PRINCESS IRON FAN MID BATTLE

I LOVE THAT

Gives new meaning to when he’s yelling about how his wife beat up anybody in the revenge of the spider queen season 2 special UJGL;SAJFA;EFMASDF HE’S FOUGHT HER HE KNOWS  I LOVE THATHGSDFKMLSDF

Y’know

Y’know Azure

Y’know its funny how

You seem to be the driving force behind a lot of what Monkey King ends up doing in this

You call yourself a follower but you and the group are the ones pushing for this stuff

Also wow this dude really

had an image of what he wanted

very interesting

WUKONG AND MACAQUE VIBIN FIGHTING YEAH GOOD FOR YOU TWO MACAQUE LOOKS LIKE HE’S HAVING FUN HGSDKFLAEFW

HEY AS LONG AS HE’S WITH HIS BFF RIGHT

:’D

.

.

.

…

……….

………………

h

hang on

gimme a second

,

w h a t

hold up hang on gimme a second

what

okay so i see

they didn’t want to

bring Buddha into it so they’re making monkey king… f…ail??? against… the Jade Emperor… who he didn’t… fight?? In jttw if I’m recalling correctly…

okay interesting interesting not sure how i feel about that interesting  did he even actually pick a fight buddha in this or is that just a throwaway reference line from the first season?

heck hang on not sure how i’m feeling about this i need another sec

I AM LITERALLY ONLY FOUR MINUTES IN COME ON

kay so

“Monkey king failed” uhuh, that’s cute, why’d you hype up a little monkey guy to lead a battle and go fight your boss huh?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

NNNNNNNNOT SURE HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS APPROACH IF THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED

Cause like, Monkey King’s whole thing is that nobody could really touch him, he doesn’t really fail and that’s what makes him such a huge problem for heaven in jttw, he just keeps getting bigger and more annoying until Buddha has to step in and slap five stacked mountain on top of him

.

hmmmmm, the further we get into this actually the more suspicious i’m getting of the approach they’re taking on monkey kings character

I’m all for reimagining and new gen monkey Mk now i’m on board with that cause they did it really neat and i love how it feels but like…. Sun Wukong means a lot to me as a character and a lot to a lot of people as more than that, and I thought they were doing pretty good with it but i’m kindaaaa hmmmmmmmmm

HMMMM

I dunno man ig I gotta hold my final thoughts on that till I at least finish the ep here but hGJSDFKLSADF

WE’LL SEE HOW I FEEL  

pressing play

WHEEZINGSDLKF

I LOVE HOW THIS

TINY GROUP OF FOUR + MONKEY KING THOUGHT THEY COULD TAKE DOWN HEAVEN

pointing and laughing at Azure

WOW ITS INTERESTING HOW IF THEY MAKE MONKEY KING NOT ACTUALLY AS STRONG IN THIS IT MEANS EVERYONE IS LITERALLY CONSTANTLY PUTTING HIM ON A PEDESTAL AT ALL TIMES EXPECTING MORE FROM HIM THAN WHAT HE CAN GIVE AND PUNSHING HIM WHEN HE DOESN’T MEET THEIR EXPECTATIONS WOWWWW INTERESTING

s

swk now

yeilded to the

okay so no Buddha then

hMMMMMMMMMMMM

H M

I DUNNO GUYS

NOT SURE HOW I’M FEELING ABOUT THIS

Also interesting how its kinda being portrayed as one after another, like… did the mountain even happen??? was there no mountain?? guys if there was no mountain i’m like… i’m actually gonna be upset that’s such a huge part of his backstory over 500 years under it and they’re just gonna… take that out???

.

hm

tsk

I dunno guys not sure how i feel about this

.

Okay so

they got away scott free??

Monkey King gets the circlet slapped on and these guys just get dropped back down like they’re not a problem?? like Azure didn’t used to be one of them? if anything he should have gotten an extra harsh slap on the wrist in the form of like, death and reincarnation like straight up

hm.

So there is the chance of like, unreliable narrator still here I’m just…

if this is it, i’m not sure if I’m happy with it, i’m kinda… really disappointed? Like. yeah i don’t know

what the heck is this????

okay so they made a house

wowww

a

a house

dang

so

cool

looking so happy with each other

totally abandoning monkey king

who did all that for you

wowwww

Well first off no respect for these losers

and second off NOT SURE IF I LIKE THIS PLOT

OHHH WAIT THAT’S FUN THO

Okay hang on

so

lol

ur telling me

you tried to overthrow the literal heavens

and got away no problem

but you build a house and now its a problem

this is…

this kinda feels like poor storytelllinnngggg mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I’m really hoping this is the unreliable narrator thing and not the actual thing they’re going with on this show cause if it is I’m kinda out

like

:T

hm I don’t want to be out this show means a lot to me though

Kay well, obvious Azure at least is painting Wukong as becoming the villain of the story, oh he let this happen, or he gave himself up, oh he failed us blah blah blah, no buddy you failed him, you got him involved in something he never needed to be involved in and wow okay hang on if this is the story they’re going with this really means Wukong seriously is just a silly goofy guy. No murder, no antagonist arch, no super powerful chaos monkey, just a guy who loves his friends so much he’d do anything for them, and Azure used that and abandoned him and then he got a circlet slapped on him, tortured into doing what the celestials wanted and now Azure’s acting like he’s the bad guy

yeeeeeesh

this is rough times for the monkey

still not sure i like it, bUT MOVING ON

WELL OKAY AZURE SURE YOU GOT IMPRISONED IG BUT AT LEAST HE DIDN’T KILL YOU

well ig Tang Monk wouldn’t really be on board with that but whatever

Sheesh though this Monkey King has it… really rough. Like, JTTW Monkey King, a lot of what happens is his own pride and a bit of ignorance making it possible. And like, everyone assuming things about him right off the bat and people exaggerating his crimes to the Jade emperor at times, but this Monkey King seems to have had everyone ever close to him abuse him, use him, and abandon him the moment he fails them like dang

No wonder he has communication issues

are you kidding me we’re only five minutes in I don’t have enough braincells for thisGL;KAMEF

Peng fr like don’t even my guy it ain’t worth it- BOI YOU AIN'T WORTH IT

Also bruh why  you trying so hard to convince Mk of this?

SNORTS

WHEEZES

POINTS AND LAUGHS

“he took the only friends he had from me” Bro you took his life from him, made him a target of the celestials, he was just chilling

boy man if this is the real plot point Azure lion SUCKS bIG time

OH WOW

STILL

USING PEOPLE HUH AZURE

STILL

GASLIGHTING THEM INTO DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK HUH

LOOKS ALL OPEN AND HAPPY

AND HJIS FRIENDS LOOK READY TO MURDER

ALSO BRUH MK’S FACE JUST

yeesh man this is a rough episode holy moly

oh yeah no i hate his guts y’all

ready to punch his face

gosh dang it i was so ready for Wukong to have a real good friend moment but I JUST HAD TO BE RIGHT IG

Yeah Sandy on the ground very hurt

just mHMM

“EtErNaLy gRaTeFuL” sure buddy

SNORTS

LAUGHS

OH SURE BUDDY

AND HOW DO YOU PLAN ON TAKING DOWN THE CELESTIAL REALM JUST YOU THREE WHEN YOU COULDN’T EVEN DO IT WITH MONKEY KING- ohhhh the ink stuff right? right? the scroll? that’s a good weapon for that possibly

also heck bro this dude S U C K S

oh well that’s sweet at least

“until this is over”

at least sort of implies he intends to let him out after

the whole “better to ask forgiveness then permission” way of thinking ig

oh I’ll just do what i want to and use who i need to and they’ll forgive me when its all over and they’ll see what i wanted was right all along! :D

WOW WHAT A GREAT VILLIAIN MOMENT ACTUALLY NICELY DONE

HANDSHAKE YEAH

ENOUGH PEOPLE HAVE USED THE MONKEYS

BUT ALSO MK PLS I’M SO WORRIED FOR YOUR SAFETY NOW

DARN FREAKING RIGHT YOU GIVE HIM BACK HIS MOTHERFREAKING MENTOR YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE LION BAG

Oh actually i’m kinda hype over Mk losing it cause Monkey Kings in trouble, we usually imagine like, Wukong going berserk for Mk but if Mk’s allowed to go bananas (stereotypical monkey pun intended) then I’m gonna really happy, I dunno if Wukong’s ever had someone going berserk for him before that’s nice ;-;

“What is this child?” THE GUY WHOS ABOUT TO KICK YOUR WISECRACK

“CaReFuL bOy mY pAtIenCe iS nOt EnDlEsS”

sorry I’m very salty rn HNGLKSADJFAWENF

;-;

oh man dude actually this kid

has big major abandonment issues heck

people just keep taking his mentor from him heck, yeah and his friends, heck

ACTUALLY YEAH HUGE FAN OF

MK SAYING NO TO THAT

AIN’T NO GETTING PUSHED AROUND ALTHOUGH I HAVEN’T SEEN HOW THIS ACTUAL FIGHT WILL GO JUST GIVE HIM BACK HIS FREAKING MENTOR THAT’S HIS SHIFU WHO MEANS SO MUCH TO HIM AND JUST CAUSE YOU APPARENTLY ABANDONED MONKEY KING DOESN’T MEAN HE WILL SO STEP ASIDE OLD MAN

Actually I’d love to see Monkey King at least get emotional over Mk fighting that hard for him y’know? like dang must feel nice to be… not exactly needed but wanted like that, like I’d take on whoever i needed to to get you back, Wukong’s done that for so many people its neat to have it done back to him

okay I wasn’t sure i liked the whole backstory change a bit but ngl the way its playing out so far ain’t too bad Monkie Kid may change a lot of things but what they do change they handle fairly well usually STILL GONNA WAIT TILL THE END OF EP AT LEAST FOR FINAL FEEDBACK

ONWARD TO POSSIBLY VERY SHORT BATTLE BUT MY GOSH I HOPE ITS LONGER AND MK IS ACTUALLY A THREAT TO THEM DESPERATELY OH THEY’RE PROBBALY GONNA COMPARE HIM TO MONKEY KING OR SOEMTHIGN HECK

Well

Y’know

okay well first of all HAHAHAHAH FAST MONKEY FAST MONKEY DARK RIGHT HECK YOU AZURE HOW’S THAT FOR SPEED YOU ACTUALLY LOOKED STARTLED MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And Secondly he actually seems… I don’t know if he’s concerned monkey king will get out or concerned for Monkey king in general cause he does seem kinda worried heck Y’know bro friend who cares but is still horrible to you but uses caring as an excuse for that is such a neat story thing y’know?? like?? heck dude

ALRIGHT I AM OVERANALYZING THE CRAP OUT OF THIS EP ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE GONE THIS IN DEPTH WE’RE ONLY SIX MINTUES IN PROPS TO YOU IF YOU MAKE IT TO THE END OF WHATEVER THE HECK THIS RAMBLE IS

AHAHAHA

MK FINE

JUST

DONT’ EVEN SEE HIM DOWN

HE’S A FAST LAD I AM A BIG FAN OF THIS

HE’S SO FAST MY GODS

CANT’ TOUCH THIS

DOO DOO DA DOOOO DA DO DA DO

CANT’ TOUCH THIS

Kay sorry I need to go back and re-watch all that speed frame by frame hang on

My gosh is Mk powerful

Well, Y’know its nice how close the brotherhood is, minus Wukong and Macaque ig

wonder how long that’ll last

heck man Mk doesn’t even crash into anything or fall when he gets punched back by Peng he just stops and is covered by dust, standing there, this dude is HYPE

;-; heck

monkey mk ;-;

he’s beautiful ;-;

I love how they had Mei attack Azure first to like, have something to compare Mk’s speed to, like making Azure out to be super fast, and then Mk swoops in and the dude hasn’t landed a hit yet

.

the scrolls gonna break isn’t it

OH WELL

lets see

MK’S GOOD HECK

TRIPS THAT MAN VERY WELL WITH A SWEEPING LEG KICK SPINNY THING CROUCHED DOWN HE’S AWESOME I’M LOVING THIS

HOW’D HE GET UP IN THE SKY

WHEEZING

WOWWWW

THIS GUYS

AFRAID OF MONKEY KING HUH

.

Y’know I think it says a lot how he envisions him now

Like flashing from Mk to monkey king there

.

hang on i need to go look at shadowplay really quick

yeah

huh

interesting

wait i need to check the winning side too hang on

HUH

INTERESTING

Well they both kinda see Wukong as detached emotionally and cold, but Azure sees him with the circlet on and Macaque sees him decked out in armour with no circlet

I’m not sure if that means anything I’m just kinda fascinated by that.

Bruh sure does look at least, some sort of panicked seeing him tho that sure is something hmhm

HECK

okay i’m feeling better about this

apparently might not have mountain trauma but he got free relationship trauma and Azure did too it seems I’d love for him to be in denial and secretly blaming himself for all of it that would be AWESOME i doubt that’ll be it but i’m just MHMHMHM FUN TIMES

ALSO HA CALLED IT

SCROLL BROKEN

.

hmmm

HMMMM

So I’m p sure this means inky’s getting out at least and destroying stuff

But does this means Wukongs semi-permanently trapped?

Also Azure doesn’t like to take responsibility for things so i’m waiting for the “look what you’ve done Mk” or “look what you made me do”  from him hGL;SAJDF

GOOD JOB JERKFACE

YOU TRAPPED YOUR BRO IN THE SCROLL BECAUSE YOU PANICKED IN THE FACE OF A LITTLE MONKEY GOOD JOB

Also heck imagine Mk monkey fighting after he’s stopped glitching

Get away from our monkey man ;-;

.

oh yeah

Wukong’s trapped in there now huh

Even Peng looks

.

yeah

heck okay then

Well I will simply be devastated if Wukong isn’t freed in the special, I assume we won’t be seeing him until at least then

HECK WHY DO I DESPERATELY WANT MACAQUE BACK AND TELLING MK AZURE’S FULL OF CRAP

“tHiS iSn’T wHaT i wAnTeD”

tough buddy it’s your fault

ha ha

“what you’ve done” THERE IT ISSSSSS

BLAMING MK

THE KID IS LITERALLY JUST SO TRUAMATIZED AND WANTS HIS SHIFU BACK HECK MK REALLY GOING THROUGH IT

Azure really sad about that huh

WELL GOOD LOSER

I HOPE YOU FEEL TERRIBLE

I HOPE YOU WALLOW IN YOUR GUILT AND SHAME FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

But he’s the type of dude it seems who will always find somebody else to blame i NEED TO STOP ANYLZING THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH HECK GHSDLFJAEO;F M

WEAPONS SNATCHED

HELP????

i’M GLFKSDFASDF

THIS IS FUNNY TO ME FOR SOME REASON

THEY’RE ALL SO DOWN IN THE DUMPS ABOUT THIS

THIS IS YOUR FAULTS YOU FOOLS

THEY’VE BEEN BLAMING WUKONG FOR SO LONG NOW THAT THEY BASICALLY KILLED HIM THEY’RE HAVING A MOMENT BUT HEY THERE’S AN ESCAPE GOAT FOR BLAME RIGHT THERE RIGHT?

W O W

HIS LEGACY WILL LIVE ON IN OUR VICTORY

1. MK’S HIS LEGACY WATCH YOUR MOUTH

2. YOU SUCK, WATCH YOUR MOUTH

3. WATCH YOUR MOUTH OLD MAN

YOU LITERALLY JUST TRAPEPD WUKONG FOREVER IN HIS HIS NIGHTMARE AND ARE STILL BLAMING HIM

UNBELIVABLE

HATE THIS GUY

BRING BACK MACAQUE

AT LEAST HE WAS FUNNY TO WATCH BE A TRAINWRECK

HE SUUCKKSSSSSS

HEY GIVE BACK THE SCROLL PIECE

STUPID MOTHERFREAING LION

TAKING WUKONG AGAIN

THIS IS SO STUPID HECK

okay i’m fine i knew i should have waited an extra day i got too hypebNG;LKAWMEF

Okay so heck dude bro man Azure you ain’t nothing, acting all high and mighty like this all ain’t your fault and your responsibility unbelievable DANG

reusing lots of animation for this bit here nods nods excellent work 10/10 being genuine I love to see animation getting reused and reanimated its really nice and its good to now the animators aren’t dying every single episode i appreciate ALL OF THEIR GOSH DANG WORK HECK

Also heck Mk self blaming galore even with Mei trying to pull him out of it cause he fr is in his own head a bit and HECK, YEAH THE LADY BONE DEMONS WORDS ARE REALLY GONNA HAUNT HIM FOREVER HUH

MAAAN

DADSY FOR THE WIN STEPPING IN ;-;

heck guys Pigsy is #1 guy in this show i swear

HECK DUDE MK FINALLY JUST SAYING THAT LIKE

OH MAN THAT LINE THO

THE YOU HAVE SCARY DEMON ANCESTORS? THAT JUST MEANS YOU AHVE FAMILY

DUDE BRO MY  GUY PLS |;A;/

PIGSY I’M COUNTING ON YOU, YOU GOTTA BE THE ONE TO SAY YOU’RE FAMILY PLEEEAAASEEEE HE REALLY NEEDS THAT RIGHT NOWWWW

oh man am I mentally ill about this show i haven’t written or even thought this many words in weeks heck

PIGSY’S SIGH

AND I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING

AND HECK

MK PLS YOU COME FROM THE SAME STONE MONKEY KING CAME FROM

YOU’RE SORT OF FAMILY

WHATEVER OR HOWEVER THAT ENTAILS

DON’T NEED A LABEL ON IT BUT YOU ARE

GUESS THAT’S NOT VERY COMFORTING RN CAUSE HE’S GONE THOUGH

PIGSYYY PLSSSSSS

MK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH MAN THIS IS AN MK UP AND LEAVES EP

NOOOOOOO

ISNT IT?

HE’S GONNA FLYU OFF???

oh you know what would be funny if he used the cloud for the first time to fly away that’d be hilarious HGSALFJEAKWEMF

okay tHO PLS

I NEED PIGSY TO SAY THEY’RE FMAILY THIS SEASON

THE SPECIAL

WHENEVER

JUST THIS SEASON PLS I BEG OF YOU

MK NEEDS THAT IT’D BE GREAT MY BRAIN NEEDS THAT DESPERATELYGSDNFAKMEF

WHEEZING

HEY MEI

NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS

WHEEZINGLSDKMF

I’M MOSTLY JOKING I’M JUST

THAT’S SO FUNNY

YEAH FLYING OFF BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU’RE GONNA HURT YOUR FRIENDS

NODS NODS MK WAS BOUND TO HIT THAT ARC TOO

TOO BAD HE DOES’T HAVE A RED SON FOR MONKEY STUFF

.

wait

oh

oh ha

HA

HAHAHHAHAHA

HE’S GONNA GO TO MACAQUE ISN’T HE

HE IS

I KNOW HE IS

RUN INTO HIM OR GO SEE HIM HE TOTALLY IS

HEAR ME OUT HE’S THE ONLY MONKEY MK KNOWS LEFT

HE CAN’T GO TO MONKEY KING

AND MACAQUE ISN’T CLOSE TO HIM AND HE DOESN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT REALLY HURTING HIIM

OKAY I KNOW THIS PROBABLY WON’T HAPPEN BUT I DESPERATELY WANT MK TO REACCOUNT AZURES STORY AND HAVE MACAQUE GO “well that’s not what happened-“ JUST SO WE GET TWO UNRELIABLE NARRATORS CLASHING AND THE ONLY THING THEY CAN AGREE ON IS MONKEY KING DO NOT GO BRRR, BUT IN OPPOSITE WAYS SO THEY CAN’T BOTH BE TRUE AT THE SAME TIME AND BOTH OF THEM ARE WRONG OR SOMETHING EITHER WAY I JUST WANT MACAQUE TO BASH AZURE LIKE EVERYHTING WAS FINE BEFORE HE SHOWED UP I WOULD LOVE THAT

Okay back to Mk sad and running away

Oh okay no cloud fair hGL;KASJFAWEF

FLYING AWAY INSTEAD THAT WORKS

OFF HE GOES

… Yeah ig they cant’ follow him lol

WAIT DID THEY TAKE MEI’S SWORD TOO?? SHE MADE THAT FROM SCRATCHGHSLDKFS

i don’t think they did I just don’t see it on her hgl;fjsdlf

SCREAMS LAUHGING

OH MY GODS PARALLELSSSSSSSSS

THAT’S SO GOOOOD

LETS GOOOOO

PARALLELSSSSSSSSSSS

BIG FAN BIG FAN

I took like a ten minute pause there’s still like two minutes left I needed a sec HGKLDSAFJAOWEF

THE PARALLELS WITH SAMADHI FIRE MEI LEAVING AND MONKEY MK LEAVING IS SO GOOD

I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT HECK

Also Samdhi fire right, I’m told the crew confirmed it’s gone bUT HECK COULD YOU IMAGINE IF MEI STILL HAD IT?? ig she would be mega powerful then and could just roast the ink (which i’m surprised hasn’t gotten out???? I really thought it would maybe later-) or just roast Azure- I see why the took it yup, Azure would be crisp lion right now if they hadn’t but MAN I would’ve loved if she still kept at least one piece of it, y’know? Cause its always been a part of her, she’d feel so cold and empty without it I swear, SHE STILL HAS ONE PIECE OF IT IN MY HEART, also just saying ohh nooooo she can’t use it or the scroll would burn up noooooo woulda been a good excuse for while they were in the scroll but now that they’re out already… yeah not sure how they could have done it otherwise but MAN I MISS THE RINGS

OKAY LETS

HECK LETS FINISH THE ONE MINUTE WE GOT LEFT HECK

ONE MINUTE IS SO LONG THIS EPISODE I’VE BEEN HERE FOR LIKE THREE HOURS YOU GUYS I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING

SCREAMS

PIGSY

SIR

THE FACE I JUST MADE

I AM IN AGONY

YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT BEFORE HE LEFT

SCREAMS

OH IT HIS WITH THE

EHCK

I’M FIEN

YOU NEED TO SAY THAT TOO HIM OLD MAN

YOU AMAZING WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL GRUMPY OLD MAN

“Doesn’t that moron know we’re his family” NO

NO HE DOESN’T

YOU NEVER SAID IT

YOU NEVER SAY IT PIGSY YOU SAY IT IN FOOD BUT HE NEEDS WORDS |;A;/

YOU EVEN SAID YOU WERENT HIS DAD PLEASE

I NEED

HECK YOU GUYS I NEED SO MUCH MORE DADSY CONTENT I NEED TO MAKE IT SO IT CATERS TO EXACTLY WHAT I WANT LIKE THIS SHOW DOES HECK EHCK HECK

PIGSY CRYING TOO

IS THAT A FIRST?

THATS A FIRST

HE’S TEARED UP BEFORE AND CRIED FOR A JOKE IN THE SHOW BUT THAT?? I DON’T KNOW IF WE’VE EVER SEEN THAT AND I AM MENTALLY UNWELL

HELPGMLDFMASDF

Reassuring hands on shoulders, gotta comfort the dad in the room

Sandy: dw he’s just hitting monkey puberty Everyone:

SANDY PLS HGL;KSJFASDF

.

WELL OKAY

SO MUCH FOR GOING AFTER HIM

DANG

DID THEY GET SNATCHED TO THE CELESTIAL REALM?

ITS BLUE

SUMMONED BY AZURE OR BY

THE JADE EMPORER HIMSELF

OR MAYBE THE GREATEST MASTER OF ALL TIME (his words not mine) OR MAYBE DRAGON KING??

HECK WHY AM I GUESSING I CAN JUST WATCH IT HGS,D;FSADF

AHA CALLED IT

OLD MAN MASTER

SHIFU SUPREME

ANTI-ADHD HYPERACTIVEITY CANCELING GREATEST MASTER OF ALL TIME

WHATS UP MY GUY

ALSO HECK BRO WHY’D YOU SNATCH THEM MK NEEDS THEM RIGHT NOW

SCREAMS

HE NEEDS HIS FAMILYYYYYYAAAAAAAA

ALSO HECK DUDE WE LOVE FOUND FAMILY THAT CALLS ITSELF WHAT IT IS ACTUALLY

BIG FAN OF PIGSY CALLING THEM MK’S FAMILY IT HITS SO HARD COMING FROM HIM

NOW TELL MK THAT YOU OLD DELIGHTFUL MAN

HELPGMLKMSD

MEI FR LIKE WHAT NOW I AM SO DONE WITH EVERYONE

.

bros you ever shush somebodyy so hard their facial features go upside downNG;AKLMFAEWF

BRUH REALLY WENT

WELP WHILE THE LITTLE MAN FIGURES IT OUT LETS GET YOU GUYS SOME MAD SKILLS INSTEAD OF EMOTIONAL STABILITY

THANKS MASTER

THANKS

TRAINING IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA BUT HECK

OKAY

MY GODS

THAT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WATCH HECK

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I REALLY ZONE IN ON STUFF HECK

THAT WAS SO MUCH

I’M SO READY TO FISTFIGHT AZURE YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT A GUY

SAYIGN ALL THE RIGHT THINGS

BUT ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS YOU POMPUS BALL OF FUZZ

okay heck before i

heck that was a lot holy crap

godspeed if you’ve made it this far nothing but respect for you guys that read through all this

OKAY

somehow monkie kid does plot lines that i go “oh i hope they don’t do that” but when they do they handle it so well that I just end up loving it anyway absolutely insane

STIIIILLLLL not totally sure i’m a fan of what they’ve done with Wukongs backstory but ig we still don’t have all the pieces, but heck dude Wukong really is just some guy in this if what i think is happening is happening. Just a silly goofy guy doing his best, maybe a few shenanigans, gets in with the wrong crowd who hype him into doing something terrible and put him on a pedestal and then he falls and they blame him for it and nobody catches him

looks at Macaque

unless-

Look man all I’m saying is he seemed pretty dedicated he had to have at least done SOMETHING else

heck I am a jumble of thoughts rn can’t get my head straight heck heck

heck okay well

very much enjoyed that episode

Was filled with rage

no one since Macaque in ses 1 and 2 (and a little bit 3 ig) has filled me with such rage I hope Azure walks into a wall

heck that was so much

my brain feels fried

i don’t think i’ve drank anything since this morning heck

how the heck are they gonna do thisGLKASMDF

I MISS WUKONG

I’M SO GLAD WE GOT TO SEE HIM ONCE

I JUST

HECK

I HOPE WE GET HIM BACK IN THE SPECIAL CAUSE I KNOW WE AIN’T GETTING HIM BACK IN THE EPS THAT WOULD BE TOO SOON

BUT IF HE ISN’T BACK UNTIL NEXT SEASON I WILL BE IN AGONY

M AN

WHAT DO I EVEN SAY AFTER ALL THAT THERE’S SO MUCH

STILL NOT SURE HOW I FEEL

GENUINELY THE MOUNTAIN IS SUCH A HUGE PART OF WUKONGS TRUAMA IF THEY TAKE THAT AWAY HE REALLY IS JUST

HECK HE’S JUST A DUDE

HE’S JUST A SILLY DUDE WHO WANTED TO HAVE FUN WITH HIS FRIENDS IN MONKIE KID THAT’S INSANE

Its okay Wukong, we’ve replaced your mountain trauma with a mountain of betrayal abuse and being used by the people you care about most trauma!

ALSO AZURE’S WHOLE MOTTO REALLY IS ASK FOR FORGIVENESS LATER TAKE WHAT YOU WANT NOW HUH

HUGE FAN OF HIM PANICKING LASHING OUT AND HURTING THE ONE PERSON HE CLAIMS MEANS EVERYHTING TO HIM, HUGE FAN OF HOW DEVESTATED HE WAS THAT HIS TERRIBLE PLAN AND AWFUL ACTIONS LEAD TO THAT BUT ALSO HATE HIM FOR HOW QUICK HE RECOVERED WHAT ARE YOU MAD ABOUT LOSER THIS IS YOUR FAULT

LIKE HECK IS HE THE ONE WHO PUT THE SCROLL IN WUKONGS PLACE??? DID WUKONG EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT???

WAS HE GUARDING IT??

MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS YET AGAIN

GOTTA LOVE THIS SHOW

KAY FINAL THOUGHTS LETS WRAP THIS UP BEFORE I GO INSANE

Still not quite sure how I feel about their approach to Wukong I love it because it makes sense for his LMK character but I also hate it because it takes away the part of him that makes him complex and reduces him down to like 90% of what he does being because someone else told him to do it rather than his own pride and desire for things and peoples issues with him, but that also is part of what makes it fit with this Wukong, glad they at least kept the circlet, don’t like how quick he came around to accepting it, unless someone threatened to kill his bros if he didn’t so he agreed to it to save their lives and THATS why Azure and the others got away scott free no problem, and then by then he experienced the power of the circlet so he had no choice but to seal them away, or he got bitter heck i don’t know Wukong’s character feels like its getting such a short end of the stick rn and I love it but hate it but like it but dislike it but HECK ITS JUST SO SLIGHTLY TO THE LEFT ITS THROWING ME OFF BUT THEY HANDLED IT REALLY WELL, IF ANYONE ELSE TRIED THIS I’D CRINGE BUT MONKIE KID HAS SUCH GOOD WRITERS AND ANIMATION THEY MAKE IT WORK SOMEHOW AND I’M OFFENDED BY IT HGBDFSFASF HECK DUDE

I’M SO CONFLICTED

I adore Azure’s characterization though, he’s so funky and so in denial and I actually can’t wait to see what happens with him and if he turns on his other bros, cause a plot line with them seeing he’s kinda insane would be DOPE Wise old elephant can’t follow a lunatic for long right? How he treats Mk is very interesting because he does seem to see him like a nephew of some kind or at least thinks he should care about him, hence the “mercy” and focusing only on him rather than, like, Mei, who’s much more thrilled and looked up to him for a bit there. Cause Mk’s Wukong’s student so that makes him important to Azure. HE’S SO STRANGE AND WEIRD AND FUNKY I HATE LIKE HIM HE’S GREAT I HOPE HE TRIPS ON A CHAIR HECK HE’S LIKE IF MACAQUE WAS SELF RIGHTEOUS AND BUFF OR SOEMTHIGN But dang he’s so interesting I want him obliterated I WANT WUKONG TO LAUNCH HIM INTO THE SUN AND SPEAKING OF WHICH

MK LOSING OVER WANTING WUKONG BACK GIVE ME BACK MY SHIFU IS EVERYTHIGN TO ME, like I so desperately want Wukong having an “i never wanted this for you, I tried to keep things from you so this wouldn’t happen” moment with Mk because man did that monkey try hard to keep Mk away from the stuff that would do to him what everything that happened did to Wukong- HECK HE’S JUST SOME GUY IN MONKIE KID YOU GUYS, LIKE HE AIN’T THE OLD MAFIA BOSS OR OLD DEMON HE’S JUST SOME MONKEY GUY WHO LOVED THE MONKEYS HE RULED OVER, LOVED THE PEOPLE WHO CALLED THEMSELVES HIS BROHTERS AND LIKE HECK DUDE I DON’T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THAT EITHER BUT THIS IS A WHOLE NEW AVENUE FOR ANGST THAT I HAVEN’T EXPLORED YET AND ACTUALLY I’M PRETTY STOKED FOR THAT

Pigsy will forever be my number 1, I am never gonna recover from whatever the heck this was, wish me luck processing NOW I KNOW WHY EVERYONE WAS HYPING SEASON EIGHT

OKAY I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS BUT WE’LL BE HERE ALL DAY IF I CONTINUE AND IT’S ALREADY BEEN THREE FREAKING HOURS SO KNOX OUT I’M GONNA GO STICK MY HEAD IN A SNOWBANK

[isnorted12pixisticks]

Hi pokies, as someone who’s been in the fandom for a hot sec I have some opinions

So buckle up or just scroll past because this is a long one it’s just me word vomiting into the void at this point

Burner account because some of y’all scare me 😘😘

‼️‼️THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS ‼️‼️

Ocean

————

1. Wtf is y’all’s hate boner with her?

2. I have no clue where y’all got the idea that ocean parents are like these horrible abusive people. Like neglectful? Definitely . But I don’t think that Mr and Mrs offers their kid to take a hit off their bong are going to be incredibly strict and physically abusive towards her.

3. Ocean just a shity person with a superiority complex and that’s ok. she doesn’t need horrible stuff happening to her to justify that

4.Ocean was a bad friend to Constance, she was constantly putting her down through back handed remarks and talking over her “ she has self esteem issues why wouldn’t she?” “ do we really need another organ donor?” And not to mention her say that she believed that Constance did nothing with her life.

Noel

————

1. For the love of god stop making him an uwu soft boy twink <- this is not directed at people who just draw/ Write him with more feminine traits I do the same. I’m talking about those who infantilize him as the helpless soft boy who just needs a big strong man (Mischa) in his life and suddenly everything will be ok

2. I hate The Noel is Talia through either a code name or straight up catfish theory

A. The catfishing theory is problematic at best. Yes let’s take the single openly gay character and have him prey on another man character for his own satisfaction. Idk if Mischa’s cool with it in your fanfic it’s still weird

B. To me at least, Talia as a code name for noel just takes away the whole meaning behind her character. Talia is Mischa’s last connection to Ukrain. We see throughout the musical he was constantly trying to text her meaning they spoke constantly. She was his one and only lifeline, something for him to focus on and push through his shity situation to get to

Mischa

————

1. I beg of y’all stop himboafying this man, I get he’s big and strong but he’s not dumb����

A. Mischas smart guys!!!! I get alot of actors portray him struggling with English at times but y’all got to remember fluency ≠ intelligence gance. it’s like his 3rd language cut him some slack. he speaks Ukrainian, Russian, English, and even some Dutch ( not even the Dutch speak Dutch)

B. Just look at his saw6 monologue! Man had an in-depth video essay explaining on a horror movie just ready to go when ocean put him on the spot

C. Mischa can be incredibly eloquent with his words when he wants to be. Ex his Talia monologue/ when he tells Noel he knows what clichés are

2. Listen Im obsessed with Gus halper so I get it we love his mischa BUT DONT COMMENT ABOUT HIM ON NON GUS MISCHAS

Talia

———

1. Stop 👏 hating 👏 on 👏 Talia 👏

A. I’ve seen so many people make Talia just a straight bitch in fanfics to justify Mischa not being with her and that feels weird to me

2. The amount of people I’ve seen straight up hating on Talia for doing absolutely nothing but “stand in the way of nischa” is wild. Like I don’t get how you can look at her, a character who doesn’t even have a single line and be like ya no fuck you

Ricky

————

1. I revoke my previous statement , I’ve seen some people ( mostly rp accounts) be weird ableist to not only Ricky as a character but his actors and I don’t need to explain why that’s gross

Jane

————

1. Honestly I don’t have anything to say here I haven’t really seen anything granted it is pretty hard to mess up a character who’s whole point is shes a blank slate

Constance

————

1. I think a lot of the fandom is guilty of seeing constance as just the “ sweet nice wholesome mom friend of the group” when (to me at least) the whole point of Constance was that people thought she was this, was because the never bothered to get to know her past that .

2. In her monologue it’s heavily hinted at that Constance was suffering with depression leading up to the cyclone.

A. Ontop of this we can see throughout musical she was self deprecating “Lost her virginity in a crap box in a crappy town, why of course she did.” you should always laugh at guys jokes otherwise they’ll think your a cow” AND PEOPLE DONT TALK ABOUT THSI ENOUGH

3. Also I dont get the “mom of the group” thing. Like she was nice to everyone and ocean mentioned that she baked but that’s about it

4. I don’t thinks it’s acknowledged enough that Constance was SAd. I don’t care if she wanted to loose her virginity, shes under aged and by Constance’s own emissions the carny was in his 30s

The fandom

————

1. Listen I love some angst as much as the next person but there’s a difference between angst and just some straight up hurt p*rn (especially with ocean, again wtf is y’all hate boner for her) I’ve seen literal SA fics written about her wtf

2.This one goes out specifically to you rtc rp accounts😘😘😘 (both on and off this app) there’s a time and a place to rp guys

A. If you're talking to other rp accounts then pop off. But That being said I’ve seen a lot of rp accounts bleed over into non rp post/ videos, while this is normally fine I’ve seen quite a few accounts pushing their head cannons on other non rp accounts as if their facts or an authority on the matter. Again nothing wrong with rp accounts / sharing your head cannons, just time and place guys

3. Look I get it plenty of the actors/ actresses that have been in rtc are attractive but some of y’all need to remember the characters themselves ARE CHILDREN

4. On the topic of the actors/ actresses some of y’all need to learn what boundaries are 

5. I saw someone try to pull some pro ship bullshit with the characters once and it haunts me

Rtc

——-

Listen. I absolutely love ride the cyclone, I’ve been hyper fixatingon it for the past years now that being said I’ve seen more than enough productions to get my fair share of opinions on it

1. Real Ukrainian war footage in Talia

A. It feels in very poor taste at best and just strange up gross at worst to the situation at hand. I get it Mischa’s Ukrainian and that’s a very important part to his character but that doesn’t mean you need to throw real war footage to the end of the song.

B. Talia and mischa story as a whole is tragic enough as is. You don’t need to add in the fact that on top of Talia possibly not even being real we’re now throwing in the possibility that she died in the war? It just seems like over kill to me.

2: Ricky’s disability being written out of the script was really gross. Like I get it they wanted to avoid another yannick situation but this like the worst possible way to go about it

There probably more but I’ve been at this for like 2 hrs (I’m going to update this as things come to me so stay tuned)

[notknickers]

aww thank you. I'm still learning to draw scars. I defo need to make time for more studies. (we both gotta buckle down)

oh man. fanart, if done well and a lot can get me to do almost anything. seeing fanart of Ghost back in November 2022 is what got me into this fandom in the first place.

I'm a bit picky with headcanons but yh. im fully aware a lot of them are just watered down to be vessals for our kinks and affection. At the end of the day. they'er our silly made up blurbos U///U but yh theirs defo gaps in these guys's personalities that we can fill in (which is what we're doing now lol from the short bios we're given)

fanart (nsfw) and audio of these blurbos together. I'm waiting on my lounge chair right now to be presented to me.

hey man. Rivals to lovers makes sense. I'm stumped with who would make the first move though. becasue like you said, both of them aren't the most affectionate of people and don't trust too quickly; at least on the battlefield. like they could respect each other on the battlefield and stuff. but to get them vunerable to love hmmmmm. might need to bend like a pretzal for either of them to act on their feelings even in the most subtle ways… unless we have one of them a lil more unhinged in this department. claps hands* What if Konig is the more unhinged one and Ghost just doesn't know how to handle his feelings or Konig, like, does anyone really wanna make the over 6 foot tall batterying ram upset. Anything can happen in delulu land

my fanart is literally made up shit if you were dating Ghost ooc XD

love that the whole fandom are in on the joke of eldritch/ocotpuss/cathulu Konig since the chibi drawings of him look like a cute octopuss and the bio updating and saying His hood hides something more hideous. I'll check out your fic….(hehe heat cycles)

btw. sorry for the late reply. fell asleep after work (¯﹃¯) also I'm bad with writing hehe

hey, don't worry. life outside the machine takes precedence! plus, sleep is gooood, rest to your brain while increasing your chances of dreaming of your blorbos! it's a win-win, but thanks for replying.

now i must absolutely write that eldritch!könig/civilian!ghost fic! i have so many ideas that i left xeno!könig and his tentacles aside for a while, but after i've dealt with the five different colonel!könig/recruit!dommy mummy!reader and colonel!könig/tmale!base medic, perhaps i'll have some time to figure it out!

oh! don't even say it! today i was all excited about a fanart idea i had while at work, then i was confronted with the reality of actually drawing it... what an ice cold shower!!!

i'll get back to it as soon as i get over the trauma! but good luck with your studies, you're already ahead!

pretty pixel vessels!!! i am also very nitpicky. in fact, i've noticed, the more concrete an idea i develop of könig, the less open i am to changing interpretation (even though i still like reading others'!)

the only thing i am glad about entering the fandom when i did is that i initially conceinved this blog as a magnus archives fanblog. if it started as a könig simp blog, i would probably have called myself something like... königsheftyballs or something and i'm so grateful that didn't happen. im' much happier as a jaredhopworthsknickers!

and yes, smutty ghost fanart was my gateway drug.

(i don't know if i remembered linking you the fic in question that sold me over the ghostsoap ship, but it was this one.)

for the audio, it's easy. here's the link and happy listening! (very nsfw, very explicit). it's one hundred percent out of my headcanons: no, könig the forty-plus-year-old colonel is not simon 'ghost' riley who got his mask at a hot topic or halloween costume shop's little bitch.

time to pull ranks on that one!

(still, enjoyable listening and great voice acting, though!)

true, but them being affiliated with opposing factions opens up interesting scenarios: could either be captured by the other? could that mean the the captured is assigned to the capturer for intel extraction or other expedient? could it be that each finds out that the other is way less sadistic and more compassionate and simply human and matter-of-fact than they initially thought, which changes the mutual way they see each other, while still being wary, because of their curcumstantial enmity?

commonalities? they are both masked, they both have something to hide, something that hurts to this day, the need to create someone who can endure interfacing themselves with the world and its demands while their tender cores still reel and recover, but that they can put aside, when they're alone, to catch breath and regain their whole selves or, the opposite, feel incapable to abandon even when no one is around, as they have become too fragmented.

just throwing ideas around, but there is so much to dig up.

their similarities might draw them to one another: could they have finally found someone who gets it? could they afford to be a little vulnerable, to show a little bit of their soft bellies and hope not to be stabbed from side to side?

but, being enemies who work for different factions with different goals surely would stand in the way: if trusting and opening up is harrowing and dreadful, doing so with an enemy operator can be outright fatal... so much at stake, but what if this were the only chance they have at genuine human connection? a friendship? comfort in wach other's bodies? darethey hope for more? are they delusional? is the imprisonment getting to them?

re: your ooc fanart: and that's brilliant all the same! my latest fanart was nothing but an excuse to put könig in a skimpy little outfit and parade him around! if you like ooc ghost dating your insert, do more of it!!!!!!

i always laugh when someone comes along, thinking themselves smart by pointing out that "well, akshually ghost and könig would never date in canon", because you're in the wrong place, luv. go play the game, write/draw your canon-compliant stuff or only interact with fic and fanartists who are as attached to canon as you, but stop yucking in everyone's yum. it's called fandom, not candom.

i will go on a perilous mission to find all the ghost/könig artists i can and report back, sir! yes, sir!

(by which i mean, i will write you in the inbox or leave the links in the dms, so you'll find them when you have time. no hurry!)

n_n

[bl00dh0rs3]

I really need a name for this au. Anyway i nailed down their color schemes (flats and some character design-y thoughts notes below)

Aw man im really about to go in on this here, ok--ill stick to just design stuff and a bit of Their Deal^tm for now! ill explain the au in full some other day, with a more polished drawing.

Alright so. I am still doing research, its ongoing, but i think ive decided that, in this au, their relationship is something more akin to... in a past life they were the same, but for spiritual development reasons, the qi that made That person split, and went on to reincarnate as Them--narratively this is going to make them function like. Just normal Foils lmao--just with an added umph of it being somewhat literal for them, in the scope of their world, if that makes sense! I dont want to put myself in the box of calling them brothers, bc it just irritates me, but they are Not going to be romantically involved in this au either--SWK has enough trouble in his weirdly uneventful but still tumultuous love life as it is (👀 at Erlang and ZBJ), im not going to torment him by adding his evil clone to that list LMAO. Also LEMH aromantic as hell bc i said so.

Also their both trans thats very super important. Trans monkeys forever obviously

Anyway, So theyre still sort of "the same person", yet not, as they had still Never properly met (until Liu'er chapter)--their both incredibly similar and incredibly different, due to the imbalance of the energies within them and the actions they took for the majority of their lives. SWK is the yang, extroverted and bold and destructive and take-no-shit, while LEMH is the yin, (at least in this story) by being reclusive and a bit of a pushover for the longest time--the, erm.... Outburst, being the result of built up resentment and imbalance within himself spurning him to overcompensate for what he was lacking. It's kind of complicated and intricate and i like it that way if describing it is kind of rough Pfft--but anyway!

Point is, i wanted ALLLL that to be reflected in their designs by giving them plenty of Contrasting but Complimentary, and even sometimes juxtaposed details! The incorrect yin yang belt buckles/brooches are the most obvious one i think, next to the general warm vs. cold color palettes--then there's Liu'er being shirtless and with shorter hair, just to bring a sense of masculinity into his appearance, counterbalancing the fact that he's otherwise very feminine and in line with his Yin nature. Id say i made SWK's hair longer for the same kind of reason, but given that long hair isnt seen as inherently feminine, mileage can vary on that--if one reads it that way then yay, fun detail, and if not, then you still get to be looking as a SWK with long hair, and thats always a win in and of itself.

The red parts of their face are also matching--SWK's making up the over eye and LEMH's the under eye, to visually indicate the "this is the same person split in two" dealio. I also tried to make SWK appear a bit more Rounded and Soft, curving his cheek tuffs and little beard In a bit more (belying a gentler nature and other. Yknow, Round thoughts underneath his theatricality (contrasting with his yang-ish behavior), while LEMH's is sharp and feathered out (bringing to mind hostility and action and other Sharp thoughts, equally in contrast with his usually yin-ish nature).

They were initially going to both have the fillets on their heads, for reasons Like the ones above, but without a shirt Liu'er torso was feeling empty and i felt like he needed something to break up the grey of his fur--so, necklace. Hes bouta get choked tf out dont worry about it ❤

Uhhh thats all i can think of writing down right now, feel free to let me know if any of it is kind of Eh, constructive criticism and all that--if you saw any typos no you didnt, thank you for coming to my ted talk and have a groovy day

[ravennightbirt]

If you love a mortal their end will be horrible

Ok so this post I made two nights ago about Hob questioning the rules the Endless siblings have to follow and that was inspired by @redmalkin questioning those rules in the first place?

That was the nice version of how everything could have happened.

And It’s still swirling through my head…so enjoy the pain!

They have been in the dreaming for several days at this point. Hob had called in sick for work almost immediately. Called it a family emergency that needed him to leave the country. Thankfully the New Inn was self-sufficient and he only needed them to know that he couldn’t do extra shifts for some time. 

It had went so well, too. Just like he had thought the Endless siblings were terrifying when they worked together, truly worked together. Dream and Desire alone had figured out half of what the rules truly were supposed to be about in less than a day. 

Death and Delirium on the other hand, the two who worked closest with humans and who actually interacted with them on a regular had made plans to get their siblings to rejoining the Waking world properly, although that was mostly for Destiny and Desire. Dream was on his way there already thanks to Hob. The sentence “Hob can help us here” had fallen more than once already and he already had kissed peacefully flat and quiet evenings curled up with Dream goodbye. Not that he wouldn’t do it. 

Destiny was still quiet. They had no clue jet how to break the damn chain and make it possible for the man to do stuff on his own. The chain was reacting to everyone who tried to touch it, burning them. Which was why Despair was sitting at her big brothers feed and was looking at the thing. Hob still twitched whenever the smell of burned flesh reached him. 

Which was why the sudden change in the Dreaming hit him like a train. 

The only warning they got was Despairs agonized moan and how she fell over against Destiny before the Palace started shaking. 

Hob for his part suddenly relived the most beautiful and painful moments of his life. Holding Robyn for the first time, holding him for the last time. Elenore laughing on their wedding night, when he tried to get her to not be nervous. Elenore silent. The first kick of their baby girl. Holding her still body.

He came back to Desire gripping his arm had enough that they were drawing blood and Deliriums holding onto his other hand, babbling nonsense. 

Dream was still standing at the war table he had created once they had found the truth behind Destiny’s chain and book. It was cracked and the books and papers and everything else they had had on the table was all over the room. Death was right next to Dream not really touching him, but wanting to. She was talking asking what had happened. 

Dream didn’t even react to it. He was just standing there frozen in place. Looking in pain. 

“Brother please!” Death called out sounding close to hysterics. It finally got a reaction.

“We are not allowed to love mortals.” 

It was nothing more than a whisper, but is sounded hoarse and choked. 

“We already figured out days ago!” Desire answered. Their grip on Hob tightened. Confusion was written clearly on their face. Dream turned his head to wards them and when his eyes- just for a second- met Hobs before they slit over to Desire’s the first tear rolled down his cheek.

“I loved…” Dream trailed off, his voice breaking. He took a shaking breath of air more tears spilling down his cheeks. Death wavered as if she was realizing what he was talking about. 

“I loved him so much.” Dream croaked out. Hob felt the Dreaming wailing with pain and agony. It hurt so much. Oh god he knew this pain, he remember this pain.

“So I rejected him, cast him out. Thinking it would save…” Dream’s knees buckled and only Death already reaching out for him kept him from crumbling to the ground. 

“I rejected him thinking it would be enough. That he would make it. I made him hate me so he lived!” 

Hob felt Delirium crawl into his lap. She was whimpering and crying and talking fast than he had heard ever before. Desire on his other side was crying. Slow tears rolling down their face. Hob couldn’t see Destiny and Despair from where he was, but he heard Despairs sobs. 

“They killed my son!” Dream screamed and it rattled the whole Dreaming. The older Dreams and nightmares and other denizen of the Dreaming, Hob could feel them, could feel they sorrow and pain. They could feel Dreams pain. 

“They made me kill my son!” 

[ruiniel]

Hey ma', one of the first fics I wrote and completed was a self-indulgent reverse-isekai on Glorfindel-falling-into-Earth with a twist and he rode a motorcycle and his nickname was Hair (no one else knew that ok). No regrets to this day

First meeting (x OFC)

Ilva was staring into her drink, her chin resting in her palm.

"Oh sweet Jesus, you're depressing," Myra rolled her eyes.

The young woman sighed. "Thanks. Sorry, I warned you."

Myra left abruptly only to return, two tequila shots in each hand. "We need to drown that frown. Drink up me hearties."

"Oh, no, no-no-no. I've had enough of that stuff for tonight."

Myra grabbed her shoulder, leaning in. "Look, why don't you just shut up, gobble these up like a good little girl, and go over to that painfully hot blond dude at the bar who's been staring at you for the past hour."

"Huh?" she made to look.

"Eyes on me. Don't be so obvious, this isn't high school. Now, a good shagging after a painful break up might not make you forget everything, but it sure doesn't hurt."

"Your wisdom knows no bounds," Ilva muttered, glancing towards the bar. She had to willingly smother the jolt of surprise and strange pulsing warmth that soared in her belly when she saw the same guy she stumbled into earlier, the one that locked her to the spot with his freakishly light-colored eyes. He was definitely not staring at her. Elbows propped against the bar casually, lit cigarette in one hand, he was checking something on his phone. His wavy hair flowed past his shoulders, perfect light eyebrows slightly frowned in concentration. He took another puff of his cigarette.

He still wore that zipped down biker jacket revealing a chest clothed in a grey banded collar shirt, unbuttoned just below the collarbone. Waist cinched with a silver-buckled belt over black jeans, hugging strong hips and long, now casually crossed legs booted in heavy stompers.

A double take. Oh, man.

"Someone might step on your tongue if you don't roll it back in," her friend said with a satisfied grin. "Now. Go. To. Him. If you behave I might have some goodies for you to help you loosen up later," she finished with a wink. Knowing Myra, that could only mean something illegal.

Maybe it was the Long Island Iced Tea she just finished. Maybe not. "Give me a cigarette from your pack." She didn't smoke, but somehow Ilvana felt it would help. She hadn't picked up or hit on anything with a pulse in over six years. Despite the alcohol loosening her inhibitions, Ilva still felt like another crutch was needed for this endeavor.

Her friend smiled deviously, that red-lipped grin causing Ilva to frown. Her bracelets clinked and clanked as Myra made a subtly euphoric gesture with her hands. "At a girl. Make sure you lose him if he's weird. Otherwise, enjoy," she eyed Ilvana meaningfully.

Sighing, Ilva downed the tequila too. Blonds had never really been her type. Mark was a blond. Ugh. Not the image she wanted right now. But still, he was... so...

Ilva struggled for the right word as she closed in on the bar, nonchalantly, she thought, draping herself onto the barstool to the left of Blond Biker Model, balancing the cigarette between slender fingers for a few moments before placing it between her lips. From the corner of her eye, she saw him slowly turn around to face the bar.

The flame of a silver Zippo flashed before her eyes. Ilva lit the cigarette, drawing in the smoke before the lighter disappeared with a metallic clank.

"Thanks," she exhaled, turning to look at his profile. Even in the dim lights of the establishment, she could make out the sheer golden tone of his hair. Hell, giving me the jelly dabs, this one. I guess asking him about what conditioner he uses wouldn't be the best pick up line.

"You're welcome," the blond drew from his own cig, though his vision never strayed her way.

Staring at me for the past hour... my ass. Oh well, long as I'm here... "One Long Island Iced Tea over here, please. And a bottle of water." Very adult move of you, Ilva. Keeping hydrated. Good job. Shoulder pat.

"Make it on me," the blond suddenly spoke up as the bartender was preparing the drink.

"Oh that's really not necessary—" she turned to the stranger.

He finally met her stare, the most arrogant, lopsided grin Ilvana had ever seen blooming on angular, youthful features. "Isn't that why you're here?" he followed, dripping smugness that could drown the Titanic.

What the fuck. Was there some prickfest in town? Because they all seemed to levitate around her.

Deciding to abort and that this was a terrible idea Ilvana turned to the bartender, hastily taking out her wallet. "You know what, I'll take it."

She had just placed the sum onto the bar when his hand reached and slid the money back towards her.

"I have a tab open. Stay," the stranger said, his tone slightly changed from before. And what was that accent? It wasn't quite British, definitely not American. She should just go. She was already deflated with how this started, and not a little disgruntled with this guy's attitude. Aaron was smug too.

She hated it. Ilvana hated arrogance to her core, in everyone regardless of who they were. But then she looked to where Myra and her pick up were, now dancing a slow rock ballad, hands on each other. The joint was slowly emptying of people, regaining some breathing space.

Blond Biker was still standing facing the bar leaning on his elbows, head in his drink.

So, I'm staying. Say something? Or you want me to say something?

He raised his head and gazed at her then, a funny knowing look in his eyes. A strange half-smile pulled at one corner of his lips.

Is that a dimple. Ok, that's one creepy pair of eyes. Are they, though? Not creepy, but unnerving. Yes, that's the word.

He looked back into his glass, the smile fading.

How do I do this? Girl starts it up. Fine.

"I'm Ilvana," she offered him her hand in the casual universal 'nice to meet you' gesture. Just like in girl scout camp. Doing great, Day.

Blond Biker lifted his head from his drink again, looking her over strangely for a moment. "Why yes you are," she heard.

Ilvana gaped at him quizzically, an eyebrow raised in question. What was up with this guy?

Those deliriously bright eyes narrowed on her, the smirk still present as he took a long drag of his cigarette. He held the smoke in for a few moments before carelessly blowing it right. Into. Her face.

Charming.

[noteguk]

bad attitude | jjk | m

[ ! ] this is part of the bad influence collection. You can read it as a stand-alone though! 

— summary; in which Jungkook finally learns how to behave. Kind of. 

— contents and warnings; pwp, smut, badboy!jk x goodgirl!reader, enemies with benefits/enemies to lovers, brattysub!kook x dom!reader, actually more of a switch!kook/switch!reader, the oc is kind of a demon with teasing because payback is a bitch, bondage, edging, dirty talk, begging, oral (m receiving), female masturbation, cockwarming, unprotected sex (don’t be dumb), creampie, stuffing, Taehyung makes a cameo, terrible use of the two wolves meme I’m so sorry 

— words; 7,2k 

— author’s note; yes I started this with a meme and no I’m not okay. This is kind of chaotic tbh but I wanted to write something a bit more unhinged and lighthearted after all that drama from the third part of the series. This happens some time after bad reputation. 

Also! Take a look at the text messages that brought them to this moment ;) 

Probably one of the dumbest things that Jungkook had ever heard came from his roommate and childhood friend, Taehyung, after a few hours scrolling through Facebook with a blunt hanging from the corner of his lips. Taehyung was in the deep web equivalent of social media: entrepreneur pages, where young, overly-dressed men with obviously rented convertibles promised to teach gullible people how to become millionaires by working at home (if you only pay for their courses). Nevertheless, what started as an ironic scroll through shallow motivational quotes quickly escalated into a semi-believable, mostly high rant about the importance of controlling your inner demons, which Jungkook sadly had to endure, since he was the only person around and, therefore, his roommate's sole target. 

Taehyung was high out of his mind, but it seemed as if he would be the last to get that memo: in his twisted conception, he was spilling the hottest of truths (and not the incoherent ramble that it really was). Fighting through Jungkook’s complaints and eye rolls, he simply went on and on about how the page “Alpha Billionaire 101” wasn’t really that off beat when they said that you do, in fact, have two wolves inside you — and the one you feed is the one that wins. Jungkook was basically disassociating by the point that Taehyung started drawing some graphs, looking fixedly at the two wolves on the screen of his computer (one written “success and drive” and the other one representing “failure and procrastination”) and wishing that the gods above would strike him down once and for all. 

And why is that important? Well, because eventually Taehyung fell asleep and moved on with his life, only casually mentioning the other stuff he saw on that page, but his words stuck around, glued to the back of Jungkook’s head. Not because they held any sort of meaning, but because the wolf metaphor was just too stupid to forget. And that eventually caught up to Jungkook in the strangest, most unexpected of ways: with you and bondage being involved. 

Now, Jungkook had two wolves inside of him: one was extremely laid back and barely cared about most things that happened, as long as he was having a good time. The second wolf was a bitter, prideful, egocentric, mean little thing that simply wouldn’t fold no matter how much the world wanted it to. And it was that second wolf that took him to that position: because Jungkook told you that he was positive, certain, a hundred percent sure that he’d never be like you and beg for something during sex. 

Which made both of your wolves absolutely pissed. 

“What the fuck…” he mumbled, looking up at your agile hands moving like wasps around his wrists. The room was dark, barely illuminated by the moonlight that came from the window, but that wasn’t really the reason why his pupils were so blown-out. “Where did you learn to tie knots like this?” 

You smiled, giving a last pull on the ropes to make sure they would stay still. Jungkook had been elated when you finally told him that you’d be willing to try it out bondage. One thing he didn’t expect, though, was that he would be the one getting tied up. “I was in the Girl Scouts,” you told him, sitting back against his thighs. 

Jungkook scoffed, tugging at the ropes. They weren’t too tight, yet they burned his skin a bit — not an unwelcome feeling, but his mind wasn’t too focused on it. He had to live up to his own words. “Of course you were in the fucking Girl Scouts.” He rolled his eyes. “So, how long is this gonna take?”

His gaze followed as your hands unclasped your bra. Jungkook, who had already been stripped down to his boxers, could barely disguise the twitching of his eyebrows when your breasts finally came into view. The bra collapsed somewhere on the floor. “Depends on how long it takes for you to say it,” you reminded him. 

Jungkook shifted around, gaze following the rise and fall of your chest. His hands struggled against the ropes, aching to touch your breasts, and you could notice the frustration blossoming at the back of his throat when he spoke up. “I’m not gonna say it.” 

With a pout, you leaned back in, placing your hands on his broad chest for leverage. “Then it’s probably going to take a long time.” You blinked up at him, and there was a devilish glint in your eyes that he didn’t remember seeing before. He was doomed. “Comfortable?”

“Not at all,” he complained. 

The smile you gifted him made his knees weak for a second. “Perfect.” Your hands traveled to the back of his neck, fingers playing with his hair and eyes zeroing in on his mouth. “Now, be good and kiss me like you mean it, okay?” 

Be good? 

Jungkook didn’t get any time to digest your words before your mouth was pressing against his, enveloping him in your warmth — and suddenly he didn’t want to think about anything else. How could he? When you had your hands caressing his neck, with a soft sigh against his lips, there was nothing else in the world that could rob his attention. 

In the end, past his brooding, unshakable persona, Jungkook was still a weak man when it came to you, he really was. It had become a natural, well-rehearsed reaction of his to explore your mouth with his tongue at every chance that he got; your lips slapping together as he groaned against you. The skin of his wrists was tingling, pressing hard against the ropes that held his hands back from exploring your body; from pulling you closer like he wanted to. Instead, he was at your mercy, following your own pace as you leaned your head to the side, fingers tugging on his hair as you sighed happily into the kiss. 

It was exactly the way he liked: sensual, slow, messy; made his head spin when you rolled your clothed center on his erection before sucking on his tongue. Jungkook was sure that you were doing all that on purpose, riling him up as much as possible before finally touching him where he needed so much, and that was definitely going to be a problem. 

In the back of his head, Jungkook was currently trying to decide if he hated Taehyung or not: the fact that his roommate had compulsively chosen to attend a party three hours away was the reason that you were there, kissing him like he was the air that you breathed, but also the reason why Jungkook had gotten tied up in the first place. If he had had a bit more time between texting you that he would never beg in sex (a very dumb, very unthought action), and the moment that you actually tried to make it happen, perhaps he would be able to convince you to step down from it. Perhaps he would realize that his prideful side was also really, really fucking stupid when it came to predicting his own limits. 

Truth was: Jungkook was pretty much panicking when you moaned against his lips, because his cock was unbearably hard inside his underwear and he just knew that he would fold after some time. Especially when you were acting like that, like a demon trying to seduce him into selling his soul; a siren about to drag him to the abyssal depths of the ocean. He could barely follow what was happening. 

Because of his dominating tendencies, Jungkook had never seen you showing your typical neurotic, controlling self during your sexual adventures — which was something he endlessly teased you for, but never thought it would actually have any sort of backlash. It seemed that both of you liked the usual dynamic (of Jungkook taking over) well enough and, yet, as he watched that sadistic expression monopolizing your features, he realized that maybe it was for the best. Maybe you had been training your whole life to perfect the masterful art of having things happening the way you wanted it, and maybe giving you the lead was one of the worst decisions he had made in some time. 

As you pulled away, Jungkook chased after your mouth, managing to place another small kiss on your lips before the ropes held him back. “More,” he groaned. 

The curve of your mouth was a wicked little thing, almost making him lose his composure for a second. “No, no more,” you were firm in your words. “Be patient.” 

He huffed. “You only got an attitude because my hands are tied up.”

“I always have an attitude,” you were fast to correct, getting out of his lap. The lack of your warmth was instantly felt, made his chest heave in frustration as you sat down next to him. There was an embarrassingly large wet spot on his underwear that he was hoping you wouldn’t notice. “But, yeah, maybe I’m a little braver because of it.” Before he could muster up a response, one of your hands traveled between his thighs, faintly tracing its way up his skin. “And what are you going to do about it?” 

Jungkook clenched his jaw — it was embarrassing how sensitive he was, goosebumps spreading through his legs. “Don’t tease."

“Or what?” A squeeze of his bulge was everything you need to make him shut up, his hips buckling up to meet your palm. Jungkook was hard and leaking, pulsating as you gave him a few, half-assed pumps through his underwear. A few seconds were more than enough to let him have his fun, it seemed, because you were soon removing your hand from his erection. “Now, stay still unless you want me to tie your feet too.” 

He hissed at the lack of contact, but refused to complain about it out loud. You smiled at his reaction: Jungkook was so stubborn when it came to things like that, would never show you his weak, needy side so easily. But you were patient and, from what you had been told, you had all night to get your way. 

Call it revenge, call it whatever: there was nothing that you wanted more than to see Jungkook bite back his own words and beg for you. It was an ego thing, perhaps, the mission to leave him just as overwhelmed and desperate as he had made you so many times in the past. Maybe you were a bit mean about it. But it was well deserved. 

You took your time pulling one of his legs towards you, watching as his cock throbbed when you placed your body between his thighs. Jungkook could only think about how soft your mouth felt as you kissed up his thigh before, at last, you were nuzzling your face against his erection, placing kisses on his clothed member as your thumb pressed down on his sensitive tip. His breath grew irregular at the feeling, his tongue poking out to wet his lips as you looked up at him with that demonic smirk of yours, those big doe eyes that wiped his thoughts clean. Jungkook was absolutely fucked. 

Luckily, he didn’t have to urge you further because, soon enough, you were pulling his underwear down, making it join your bra on his bedroom floor. Jungkook could’ve cried when you rolled your thumb over his crown, spreading his precum all over him, a delighted hum dripping past your throat. “You’re leaking,” you commented, eyes following the glistening of his reddened tip. He could only muster a raggedy, short sigh before you were talking again. “I can clean you up, don’t worry.” 

Jungkook moaned out when you wrapped your lips around his cock, not hesitating much before you sank down on him. His head fell back when you started sucking, your cheeks hollowing out and tongue pressed flat against him. “God, your mouth feels so fucking perfect.” His hips thrusted up, but you had enough of a reflex to pull away before he managed to hit the back of your throat. “Take it deeper, baby, do it for me.”

But you did the opposite, removing him from your mouth. You glanced up at him with a disinterested look plastered all over your face, lips glossy with a beautiful mixture of your saliva and his wetness. Jungkook made a mental note to never forget that sight. “I don’t know if you understand what’s going on here, Jungkook.” You wrapped one hand around his cock, pumping it twice. It felt good, but nothing compared to your mouth. “But it’s really not your place to tell me what to do right now. That’s not how it works.” 

“Yeah?” He chuckled, eyebrows raised in a silent dare. “And what are you going to do about it?” 

Poor decisions: Jungkook’s week was filled with poor decisions. Blame that unshakable arrogant side of his, blame his terribly constructed defense mechanisms; blame whatever it was that didn’t allow him to think clearly when you were so beautifully placed between his legs, but it seemed that he really thought it would be a good call to provoke you when you were already 1) deadset on making him embarrass himself 2) probably the best Girl Scout to ever tie a knot in history. 

Jungkook was completely helpless: he knew that, you knew that. So the reason why he mocked you in such a position would forever be another mystery that science could never answer. 

And the payback arrived soon enough. Jungkook only earned a few seconds of relaxation, staring at your impassive face, before your mouth was sinking back down around his member. 

If Jungkook thought that you were teasing him before, now you were sucking him like you wanted him to cum in two seconds — hands pumping his length, playing with his balls, tip hitting your throat, tongue dragging against his slit: the four horsemen of your apocalyptic blowjob technique that got him seeing stars in no time. “Fuck, that’s my girl,” he moaned. He was sure his wrists would be all red in the following morning from the way he was mindlessly moving his arms around, his mind just so hyper-focused on the need to touch you, to pull your hair when you were wrapping around his cock so well. “Feels so fucking perfect.” 

Then, as he was just about to tip over, you pulled away. 

“No, what the fuck,” Jungkook’s eyes snapped open, still unfocused and glazed-over. His body flinched at the interruption of his pleasure, and his cock throbbing against his pelvis, angry for attention. “Fuck, why did you stop?”

“That’s what I’m going to do about it.” You smiled, and Jungkook noticed that he was really playing a very dangerous game. In a span of two seconds, he asked himself if he was that mean to you, realized that he probably was, and came to terms with the fact that he wouldn’t change anything about it. “Are you going to behave now, Jungkook?” 

He groaned, fighting against the frustrated waves that overtook his body. His orgasm, before so close, had now been washed away, leaving him with a pulsating feeling inside his guts. “You’re pissing me off.”

“Likewise.” You tilted your head to the side, placing one hand on his thigh. “Now, stay still and do what I tell you to do. That’s the last time I’m asking.” 

He frowned. “Or what?”

You blinked, pausing for a second. “Isn’t it obvious? Or I’m leaving you like this.” 

Jungkook’s brain finally seemed to comprehend the fact that, sometimes, it’s better to keep your mouth shut. So, instead of saying something, he simply watched as you removed your underwear before sitting between his legs, your thighs over his. 

Because you absolutely hated him, you had opened your legs wide, pussy on full display, as you used one hand to lean back against the mattress. His eyes almost jumped out of their sockets when you used two fingers to spread your folds apart. “Look,” you said, your breathy voice making something inside his chest switch. “I’m so wet.” 

And wet you were. Jungkook exhaled, nostrils flaring. His mouth salivated at the thought of licking you clean, fingers growing white around the ropes. He never hated an object so hard in his life. “I can… I can see that.” 

You giggled at the grogginess of his tone, dove into the satisfaction that came from his focused eyes on your soaked folds. A gentle suspire left you as your digits slipped up, covering your clit with your arousal before pressing down on it. You were acting up a bit, whining loudly at the feeling because you knew that it drove him crazy to hear you make sounds for him. “Jungkook…” you trailed off. You had to bite back a laugh when his stare snapped up at you, looking so overwhelmingly horny and pissed off at the same time — the duality of men. “Want to have you inside me.” 

He exhaled heavily. “Do it,” he said and you allowed him to think that it was his order (and not your decision) that made you move. 

Jungkook’s pupils were blown out in sheer desire, wanting to absorb every light that bounced off your soft skin when you lined yourself with his cock, covering his tip with your warm wetness, allowing it to rub between your folds. By the time that you sat down on him, he was dangerously close to cracking. 

“Oh fuck.” His hips thrusted up, wanting to feel more of your tight walls around him. It was heaven and hell, just the way he loved it, but his delight wouldn’t last long. “Fuck, baby, that feels so good.”

“It does,” you agreed, but there was a teasing inflection in your tone that he did not miss. Soon, your fingers were back where they were before, circling your clit. “And I happen to know how to make it even better. For myself, at least.” 

It took him a few moments to understand what was going on, but, once it clicked inside his head, he could’ve cried from frustration. “What are you doing?”

“Getting myself off.” You smiled — oh you were such a fucking demon, he thought, a trickster spirit that wouldn’t rest until he was begging you to let him cum. Worst part? He might as well do it. “You don’t mind, do you? I know you love to keep your cock inside me like this.” 

They say that revenge is sweet and, as you saw the flash of desperation that crossed Jungkook’s face, you couldn’t agree more. “Aren’t… aren’t you going to move?” He tried. 

You could tell that he was holding back from just thrusting up inside you, which was equally satisfying and arousing: maybe, just maybe, he was starting to learn one thing or two about following your orders. “Hmmm… not at all.” You smirked, a tiny gasp leaving your lips as you circled your sensitive spot just the right way. Jungkook followed the movement of your lips as if they were writing the secrets of the universe. “Not if you keep that attitude up.” 

He frowned, the corners of his mouth twitching in frustration. From your peripheral vision, you could see his wrists vaguely struggling against your knots — humbly speaking, you were a great Girl Scout, the typical overachiever, and you were positive that they would hold up. 

“You’re going to regret this later,” Jungkook warned, but his words didn’t even have the chance to affect you. One clenching of your walls around him was all that it took for his head to roll back, a deep grunt dripping from his mouth at the sensation. It was just enough to keep him dangling over the edge, but not even close to making him cum. “Your pussy is so fucking tight, baby. Feels so fucking good.”

“I’m almost there, that’s why.” Your other hand slithered up your waist, cupping one of your breasts. Being a bit more theatrical than necessary (because you wanted to provoke him as much as you could), you gasped out his name as you rolled one nipple between your fingers, arching your back at the sensation. You swore you saw Jungkook’s eye twitch. “Gonna cum just like this. And you’re gonna be good and watch me.” 

Again with that be good bullshit, again not giving him enough time to process it before you were timidly rolling your hips. “Baby,” he gasped. “This isn’t fair.” 

“It isn’t,” you agreed, slightly breathless, your hand moving to play with your other breast. Jungkook followed the action like every part of you was magnetic, calling for his attention. “You do that to me all the time, though.” 

He frowned. “But I let you fucking touch me.” 

“How nice of you,” you sarcastically remarked. Another small roll of your hips made you gasp, fingers working faster around your clit. Teasing Jungkook got you shamefully turned on, it seemed, because you were just about to tip over the edge. “Fuck, feels so good.” 

“It would feel so much better if you just— God, you’re so fucking wet,” his mind was barely functioning at that point, the heavenly feeling of your walls clenching around him was making him go insane. “Just ride my cock, baby.” 

“No,” that simple word was like an arrow, shooting all his hopes down. Jungkook closed his eyes and threw his head back, trying to fight against the claustrophobic nature of his position. There was no way he could hold himself back, he thought, he would beg you as many times as he needed it that was what it took for him to finally cum. “I’m close, Kook.” 

That whimpery, needy tone of yours would be the death of him one of those days. “I can fucking feel it,” he cursed. Jungkook just wanted to thrust inside your dripping pussy, make you cream his cock like you were made for it, but he knew that you would just stop everything again if he did so, and he seriously didn’t think he could take that. “S-Shit, baby, you don’t know what you’re doing to me.” 

But you had a good idea of how you were affecting him. Through parted lids, you watched as his face contorted in pleasure when you squeezed particularly tightly around him; a muffled sob perishing on his throat when you vaguely raised your hips. Jungkook was filling you up so perfectly, like he always did, and it was that amazing stretch of his cock inside you, combined with the clear hunger that covered his features, that pulled your climax towards you. 

The orgasm that washed over you was abrupt, overbearing, just blinding enough so you didn’t notice the weak little moans that Jungkook let out at the throbbing of your walls around his aching length. You tried to prolong it for as long as possible, rubbing yourself, crying out his name for theatrical reasons, but eventually sensitivity got the best of you and you stopped. 

What you found when you did, however, was a glorious sight. Jungkook was a perfect picture of lust and desperation, his chest rising and falling rapidly and eyes locked on where your two bodies joined. There was a thin coat of sweat all over his skin, the small sound of the  ropes pulling on the headboard. When he noticed you were staring, he found your gaze. “I- I stood still,” he said. 

“I know, you did so good.” You placed one hand on his cheek, leveling your face with his so you could kiss him. Jungkook melted under your touch, a deep sigh leaving his mouth as you pulled away, his cock still deep inside you. “I’m proud of you.” 

As if something had magically changed, Jungkook tried to fight against his immobilized hands, only to find out that he was still unable to free himself. “Wanna touch you so bad, baby. You look so fucking hot sitting on my cock like this.” Jungkook was spoiled, you realized, because it didn’t take him two seconds of good behavior to revert back to what he wanted to happen. It was a terrible habit, you realized, one that you probably helped enable. “Fuck, just let me cum, baby. Take these off and I’ll fuck you just the way you like it.” 

And maybe if you weren’t so high up in your power rush, you would’ve at least considered his offer. However, having Jungkook turned into a pliant mess beneath you was worth more than anything else at that moment. “I’ll think about it if you say the magic word.”

He frowned, his charm melting away. Jungkook was so adamant on having it his way that it bordered on a joke. “Not gonna do it.” 

You kissed him once again before speaking up. “Then we don’t have a deal.” You shook your head, moving away from him. Jungkook searched after your mouth, but your stupid Girl Scouts knots didn’t allow him to go much further. He collapsed back against the headboard with a frustrated groan. “You’re a terrible sub.”

“Maybe because I’m not a fucking sub— Shit.” All his thoughts were wiped clean when you slowly raised your hips, only leaving his engorged tip inside, before, finally, sitting back down. The drag of your velvety walls against his sensitive cock was driving Jungkook up the wall, his tied-up wrists mindlessly knocking against each other. “Fuck. I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” You pouted, repeating the movement. You watched as his jaw clenched, a sharp exhale leaving his nostrils as Jungkook both fought against and searched for his pleasure. “Sure you don’t wanna say it?” 

A deliciously slow roll of your hips got him gasping out. “I’m not gonna — fuck — not gonna say it.” 

You leaned your head to the side, stopping your movements. Jungkook’s abdomen was caving in with every small brush of your pussy around him, the illumination from the streets making the drops of sweat on his skin look like small diamonds. It was an erotic sight, from the falling of his dark hair over his hooded eyes, to the beautiful inked drawings on his arms. Unfortunately, you had other things to do other than to admire him endlessly. 

With a sigh, you got up from his lap. “Too bad.”

“Baby,” Jungkook whined — actually whined —  when he felt his cock slip out of your perfect heat, collapsing against his abdomen. The sensation got him flinching, made him bite his lip for a second in an attempt to compose himself. “Baby, don’t leave me like this, come on.”

You frowned, faking annoyance. “How can I not leave you like this, Jungkook?” Your palms slithered around his shoulders, pulling your body closer to his. “You’re being horrible right now.” 

“S-Sorry.” His breath caught in his throat when your mouth met the skin of his neck, tongue prodding out to lick a small trail up his skin. Your heat was unbearable, suffocating him and drowning out his thoughts to the point that he had really apologized for his poor demeanor. If your predictions were correct, it wouldn’t take long before he folded the way you wanted him to. “Just, come on, you can’t just— I’m just so hard right now.” 

You giggled, fingertips moving down on his chest until you found what you were looking for. “Aw. Poor thing,” you teased, feeling as he grew stiff when you started to play with his nipples. A few weeks back, you had made the wonderful and unexpected discovery that Jungkook was really sensitive there, but you never really had a chance to explore that side of him before he flipped you over and had you his way. But the universe always searched for balance, and that moment was the karmic payback you were looking for. “What’s the problem, Kook?” 

“Wanna cum.” He winced away from your faint caresses, but he really didn’t have anywhere else to go. A smirk curled up on your lips as you watched Jungkook fight against the knots, a frail, airy moan leaving his chest as you rolled his nipples between your fingers. He sounded so perfect: so needy and desperate that you could feel another gush of arousal accumulating between your folds. “Just wanna cum so bad, baby.” 

“I’m not gonna be mean and hold it off,” you told him, moving back so you could place a kiss against his pouty, swollen lips. Jungkook looked so beautifully messy, so on edge, that you almost cried out at the sight of it. “You just have to say it,” you told him, lowering your hips until you were straddling his cock. 

With a roll of your pussy against him, his cock brushed between your wet folds, tearing a broken sob from his throat. “Fuck,” Jungkook cursed. He was never in a position like that: edged for so long that he couldn’t even control the grunts that left his throat. “You’re so fucking evil.”

“You love it.” Another grind of your pussy had him throwing his head back, a loud moan ripping itself from his heaving chest. Jungkook was sensitive, responsive to the tiniest of your touches and, most of all: he was desperate, seconds away from cracking. “You know, if you say it, I’ll let you cum.” 

His cock throbbed against you when you finally stopped your movements, raising your hips so your center moved away from his. Jungkook complained at the lack of sensation, practically on the limit of throwing a tantrum, and his pelvis mindlessly buckling up in search of your warmth. Instead, he found nothing, and his member simply collapsed back against his abdomen, aching for its release. 

“This— This is torture,” he groaned. You giggled at his distress, taking one hand to brush away the sweaty hair from his forehead. Jungkook leaned into your touch. “Please, baby, just fuck me.”

Your ears perked up at that, a pool of arousal starting to grow between your legs. That sounded even better than you had predicted. “Sorry, what was that?” You teased. 

Jungkook closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. “Don’t make me say it again.” 

Slowly, you lowered your hips again, pressing your pussy against his cock. Jungkook reacted instantly, taking in a sharp inhale. “Didn’t hear you,” you said. 

“God, baby, just fuck me, please,” he finally broke down, his dazed-out gaze seemed to have some trouble focusing on your face. Desperation was plastered all over him, staring at you like a beautiful, shimmering trophy. “Please, just let me cum. Please.” 

You hummed, leaning away so you could sit on his thighs, facing his erection. You were a woman of your word: you said you wouldn’t hold it back, and you wouldn’t. “Since you asked so nicely…” you trailed off, one hand wrapping around his base, pumping him a few times. Jungkook throbbed in your hands, his abdomen sinking as your thumb grazed his sensitive crown. “Where do you wanna cum?” 

It looked like you had truly broken the poor boy down because, for the first time in his life, Jungkook didn’t have any idea on how to answer that question. “I- I don’t know,” he struggled to speak when your hand was still caressing his member: just enough for him to feel something, but too slow and light for him to actually cum. “Anywhere. Just wanna cum.” 

You pouted, letting his cock go. It bounced on his pelvis, tore a painful cry from his throat as he felt his pleasure wash away once again. “I need an answer, Kook.” 

And he said the first thing that came into his mind. “Your pussy, baby, please.” 

A smile tugged on your lips — it seemed as if that word wasn’t so hard to say anymore. “Of course, you’ve been so good.” You moved around until you were sinking down on him, feeling that fantastic stretch all over again, and earning a shaky moan from his part. You only spoke up again after you were sure he couldn’t go any deeper. “Kook?” You called. His pleading eyes shot up at you. “Wanna fuck me?” 

He breathed out, just a tremulous gush of air that he could barely get ahold of. “Y-Yes, yes, please.” 

You hummed, wiggling your ass around just so you could watch his face contort in despair, crumbling under the delicious drag of your plump walls around his cock. Jungkook almost looked cute, you dared to think, even if you were sure he would fold you in half the second that he got those ropes off. It was like teasing a tiger in a zoo: people only felt brave enough to do it because there was a thick glass between them. “You better do it, then,” you told him. 

After everything you had put him through, Jungkook seemed almost hesitant to do so. “C-Can I move?” He asked, just to be sure. Last thing he needed was to do something wrong and have you walking out on him. His cock was so hard, leaking inside you, and he didn’t believe that he could handle being left like that. 

“Of course,” you told him, the tenderness of your voice so different from what you sounded like all night. Jungkook was still on the palm of your hand, but your victory when it came to making him beg had already been achieved. So you could relax and let him do the heavy lifting for once. Being active was exhausting sometimes. “Come on, Kook,” you egged him on, leaning forward so you could find support on his chest. You knew what was coming. “Fuck me.” 

That seemed to be the last spark he needed to ignite his fire because, soon enough, he was placing both feet on the mattress and thrusting upwards, your body collapsing forward under the force of his movements. Jungkook barely gave you any time to breathe: he fucked you fast and deep, helped by the gravity of your weight above him; shallow breaths and noisy whines leaving his mouth in a beautiful cacophony of sounds. It wasn’t long before he was making you bounce on his cock, pretty moans melting upon your lips as you fought to keep your balance over him. 

“B-Baby,” Jungkook stammered, an airy, high-pitched moan sounding from his parted mouth. His brain was utterly bewildered by the movement of your body above his own, the bouncing of your breasts and the wild fluttering of your eyelashes. And those moans, those gorgeous, ethereal little sounds that you reserved just for him. “S-So perfect. All mine.” 

“All yours,” you said promptly, struggling to meet his gaze. No matter how much you tried, you could not follow the speed of his thrusts, so you simply kept your body in place as he used it as he pleased. “Is this what you wanted?” 

He nodded, mouth falling open. His lips were pouty and swollen, slightly red from the way he had bitten them before. “Wanna cum,” he breathed out, “inside you.” 

No pretty please, you realized. Perhaps it wasn’t your best call to ask him to fuck you, because it dawned on you that you had just handed Jungkook his esteemed control back on a silver platter. That started simply as a doubt in the corners of your mind, however, you were sure that you had lost that battle once his needy whimpers started to wash away, instead replaced by the guttural, rough groans that he usually presented to you. 

Not that you truly cared about it: you had already proven your point. 

His head leaned to the side, pressing against his elevated arm. Jungkook was hypnotized by the way that your bodies met, the way you held yourself up so he could fuck himself inside you. You were always so good for him. “Your pussy feels so fucking amazing, baby,” Jungkook moaned out, hips snapping up against yours. A hiss dripped from his mouth when he felt you clench around him, signaling that you were close once again. “Look so pretty. Made for my cock.” 

“Y-Yes,” you stammered, head falling back. You could feel that familiar tingling at the bottom of your stomach, your orgasm ready to snap once more. Jungkook always fucked you so well, even when his hands were tied up, always left your brain scrambling after the most basic of words. “I’m c-close.” 

Jungkook tried once more to pull at his restraints, but it simply wouldn’t bulge. The contrast between the red ropes and the dark ink decorating his skin was beautiful, the veins of his hands getting thicker as tugged again and again. Jungkook was beyond the realms of reason by that point, struggling like a caged animal because there was nothing else in the world that he wanted more than to touch; to suck your breasts and to fuck you the way he wanted to. “Gonna cum too, baby,” his voice was almost a roar, deep and frustrated. It shot straight up to your core, made you tip over the edge and come down spasming around his cock, your high washing over you. “That’s it, cream my cock,” he praised. In the background of your overwhelmed state, you could feel as his member throbbed inside you, ready to release. “Take everything for me, alright? Wanna fill you up.”  

You barely had any time to nod before he was spilling himself inside you, a long, throaty moan dripping like sin from his lips. Jungkook tried to keep his movements up for a bit longer, delighting himself in the way you winced at the feeling, but even he had grown too tired to continue it. So, at last, he collapsed back against the mattress, sweaty hair falling over his eyes. 

“Get up,” he commanded, breathless. “Let me see it.” 

With shaky movements, you did as he requested, planting one hand on his thigh so you could raise your body. His cock slipped out at the motion, already softening, but his gaze was stuck on the gradual dripping of his cum between your pussy lips. As much as you were used to that specific request, it always made your legs weak when you looked at him during that part — no matter what happened before, Jungkook always had that maniac expression plastered all over his face, like the mere image of his cum slipping out of you was enough to send him into a frenzy all over again. And, most times, it was. 

“Good girl,” his dark stare slowly navigated towards your eyes. His arms were surprisingly still, no longer battling against the ropes, and there was something ominous about that. “Push it back in.” 

Because you didn’t want to anger him any further, you agreed. It was almost impressive how quickly Jungkook was able to take back his control: even with him being immobilized, you were still folding and following his wishes like it was your second nature. “Like this?” You asked, using two of your fingers to stuff his cum back inside. 

“Yeah, just like that.” He breathed out, the final seconds of his exhale morphing into a low growl. “Now, ___,” he called, eyes still glued to your pussy. “Untie me.” 

You almost wanted to go against that, given the way he was about to break you in half, but that wasn’t probably the brightest of ideas. A bit nervous, you moved off his lap and sat down next to him, hands flying to undo the knots. “Hang on,” you requested. From the corners of his vision, you could see Jungkook staring you down, his piercing eyes focused on your face, silently watching you through the curtain of his black hair. At last, you managed to undo the ropes, the thick material falling beside you as Jungkook lowered his arms and started to massage his wrists. “How are your hands? I hope it wasn’t—“

“Lay down.” He interrupted, dry. Your mouth fell shut — none of your usual sarcastic remarks finding their way past the lump in your throat. 

The softness of the pillow was a welcomed sensation, but your body could not relax, not when Jungkook was still looking at the pink marks on his inked skin, thinking about what he was going to do to you. You waited for what seemed like hours until he finally moved around, arms on either side of your head and chest pressed flush against yours. Jungkook’s heat was asphyxiating, his nose bumping against yours as he placed a small, tender kiss on your lips. He was being too calm, you noticed that instantly; still waters with sharks swimming underneath. 

“Silly girl,” he mumbled against your mouth, fingers pressing on either side of your jaw. Jungkook pulled your mouth open, thumb caressing your lower lip as he stared down at you like an arrogant monarch. You felt terribly small, shrinking under his presence. “It’s not my hands that you should be worrying about.” He smirked, and his thumb paused its tender motions on your lip. He sighed. “Now that you had your fun, I’m gonna have mine.” 

~ 

Jungkook was right: his wrists were red the next day. He naively thought that no one would be able to see it through his tattoos, but Taehyung, even in his hungover stupor, had his detective eye ready and noticed the marks right away. There was absolutely no way all his crime documentaries made him such an expert, Jungkook thought, but couldn’t really be sure of it. 

“You know… things like this only make me more curious,” Taehyung said after Jungkook had refused to tell him who had come over the previous night. He was munching on his sandwich like his life depended on it, brows furrowed into a perfect picture of concentration. There was jelly all over his mouth, pulling up the corners of his lips and making Taehyung look like a terrible, discount copy of the joker. “Like, a chick tied you up? Come on, I have to meet someone like that. It’s a matter of, like, survival, some alpha wolf bullshit—“

“Fuck off,” Jungkook cut him short, burying his face on his hands. He was too tired to deal with any of that. “I never want to hear about you or your wolves ever again.”

~

check out the rest of the bad influence collection! 

taglist > @minyoongiboongi  @bvrrym0re @marcoazam2 @shojotae @youurkryptonite @fan-ati--c @btstrasht @crazy4myself @ft-multi @kooafraid @dianaaviny @ggukkieland @cryinginmypromdress @kissestothesky @imluckybitches @gyukult @jinsalpaca @0901-1230 @we8joon​ @gamerkooks​

[theseasasleep]

Love Between Fairy and Devil (ep 3, part 1, I guess)

When I heard the sound of Dongfang slicing through the literal sky, cutting the shape of a moon waxing from crescent to full because of course! We must remain on brand, darlings!! When this happened I ceased to be a person but a seal, with all the clapping and wild animal noises I was making.

This show, these here assholes... They're like, we know these two are just Red Shirt No. 1 and Red Shirt No. 2 but damn it, we will flex our awesome visuals anytime we like and you will appreciate and bow down! Is it wrong that I rewatched Dongfang's non-entrance entrance and the subsequent immolation of the Red Shirts an ungodly amount of times? Considering all the goodness to come, perhaps I should be judged but I couldn't help myself!

He is so regal, so impassive, so untouchable. Did I mind the on-the-nose imagery of a dark angel? No. No, I did not. It strikes me how uninvolved he is even as his presence, his very intentions warp the area and influence responses. He is as engaged as someone absently picking lint off their sleeve.

The reveal that he is ginormous stole my breath! All my anime loves brought to stunning life. Really, the arrogance of it! But it's not unjustified - the breadth of his power outweighs them, outsizes them! That he rescues Orchid for the first time with the act of a god should be no surprise - after all, he's still not a man (yet).

*whispers* I'm only 4 minutes in, y'all. Buckle up.

Okay, I'm not at all into this kind of stuff but... Dongfang is making me feel things as he draws his armored finger across her cheek. *Shivers* It is an evil sexy; I must repent. His manner the entire conversation with Orchid is just... I don't have the words to nail down how unsettled and excited it made me. Lol as he expounds on how badly he wants to kill her only to end on a disappointed, "I can't," only to have her respond with sincere sympathy, "why?" Is this real? Is this the real life?

I am always a sucker for the insincere romantic speech, romantic gesture given in the early episodes becoming sincere in later episodes. The extra layer here is, with the way they are currently bonded her pain, her breath, her blood, her body are literal equivalents to his. So initially we are watching him protect himself, so the first thing he gains back is vulnerability. He has to become aware of that vulnerability in a way that's deeper than just, ah, weakness! Which probably makes him aware of himself in a way he hasn't been, hasn't needed to be in a very long time.

I wonder when's the last time someone mistook anything he said or done as kindness, lol. Watching him pegging her as an idiot while being suspicious she's some sort of savant is bringing me such joy 😹.

[imagine-turtles]

Oooookokokokok Let's say one of their friend needs to find a new place to live and they offer to let them stay at the lair for a few months, what's it like to live here? The good stuff, the bad stuff, maybe reader gets a crush or maybe it just stays platonic, how do the boys handle it, how does splinter handles it, etc etc. Yknow, the good stuff :3

Also dude I hope you and your fam are ok!! <3

We’re all good here--just busy! I’m trying out a little change of perspective since you specifically mentioned “reader” so we’ll see how that goes.

LEONARDO

Lays down the law before agreeing to even have you stay with them. He and his brothers have rules, and he’s sure you do too, so he’d rather just make sure the living arrangement is compatible before committing.

Generally, chores are divided up among the family, but Leo is perfectly content to leave you to your own laundry, dishes, etc… so long as you don’t make too much of a mess in someone else’s jurisdiction.

(Offering to pencil yourself into the chore chart is an easy way to gain Leo’s approval, with even more brownie points if you insist after he politely refuses.)

He doesn’t want anyone in your space unless you invite them in, and makes it clear that any problems you have should go directly to him. Hates hearing about issues secondhand, even if it’s for something as little as a new lightbulb. It’s just part of how Leo thinks your living situation should work; offering the respect of keeping him in the loop.

If you’re a decent housemate, and mesh well with Leo’s personality, he’ll definitely develop a crush. He’ll try to convince himself he’s just adjusting to a new person in the house, then that he’s realized it’s possible to have a relationship, then that he likes the idea of a relationship and you just happen to be there. And of course he’s imagining you in that scenario; you’re the only person he’s ever seen in this situation. His brain is just drawing parallels the only way it knows how.

He hears Donnie’s “well, actually” tone so clearly that he decides to never commit to his theory out loud.

He’ll buckle under the weight of his own feelings if you start taking an interest in his interests, the ones he doesn't really share with his brothers.

Leo might tear up if you put in the time, trial, and error to brew tea just how he likes. Even if you don’t quite get it right every time. Or the first twenty times.

RAPHAEL

Less stressed than Leo, but just barely and for completely unrelated reasons.

Reason number one: HATES having people in the lair when he’s taking a shit. This man can destroy a toilet on a level that, considering his mutant status, could literally be classified as a BSL-4. How the hell is he supposed to shit when there’s constantly someone over?

Do not talk to him through the bathroom door unless someone's dying. Don't even acknowledge he's in there. Surefire way to piss him off.

Drags his feet cleaning his room because, duh, he’d rather die than let you just hang out in there. What would you even do, look at his stuff? Absolutely not. His brothers don’t even hang out in his room.

(The exception is if he already has a crush on you--then all he cares about is cleaning his room, despite never actually inviting you in. Might have to take a little initiative.)

Raph might swing back and forth between a ton of interaction and hardly seeing you. He’ll want to make sure you’re doing alright and that you don’t think he’s ignoring you; at the same time he’s afraid you might get tired of hanging out, and needs time to recharge.

He’ll be much more comfortable spending time with you if you let him know you’re perfectly content to just be near him while you each do your own thing. Not much conversation required.

If Raph’s desperately trying to convince himself he’s not into you, having you around the lair just about puts him in an early grave. Having you here--living in his house, with him--just makes the fantasy that much more real. This could be your life. Every day. Together.

DONATELLO

Initially offers to just put you up in an extended-stay hotel, or an apartment, and even floats the idea of having you crash at Vern’s place. It’s not that Donnie doesn’t want you around the lair--you’re welcome, of course--but he already knows it’s going to be a massive headache. Leo and Raph are going to be stressed, he’s going to have to make those repairs he’s been putting off, they’re all going to have to clean, just… ugh.

Not to mention how inconvenient it would be for you to live with them. In a sewer. What if you hurt yourself, or fall ill, or get lost in the pipes? What if you get sick of them, after being forced to spend so much time down in the lair?

He’ll make sure you have access to everything you need in your space, and even help with a few upgrades… eventually. Don’s a busy guy, and he might not find the time to help right away, but a particularly observant houseguest might figure out that trading favors for favors will bump their request to the top of the list. Especially if you at least try to put in a little effort yourself before asking him.

You might notice Donnie doing a lot of staring at you, and when questioned he simply tells you he’s zoning out. The truth of the matter is that he hasn’t had a lot of opportunity to look at many humans up close, and he’s just checking out all the body parts he doesn’t have.

Shuffles you far, far away the second Leo and Raph start to get into it. Having an audience only makes them self-conscious and exacerbates the tension; he’d hate for you to be around all that, or god forbid, try to play mediator.

Donnie knows it’s not unusual to develop a crush on people that you spend a lot of time around, but figures since he’s aware of this he’ll be immune to any proximity-based attraction.

This is not correct. In fact, he might rival Mikey in terms of how quickly he develops a crush once he realizes how easy living with you can be. It’s even worse if you start doing little things, like figuring out how he likes his coffee or texting him at the store to ask if he wants anything.

You'll know he's down bad when he lets you get into his stuff: his lab, his desk, his snacks, his room, his bed--even his computer, after he hides anything incriminating. What's his is yours.

MICHELANGELO

Tidies up as if you’re going to be hanging out exclusively in his room. He doesn’t fully clean it, mind, just kinda sorts everything into piles and makes sure it’s not gross. Howl’s Moving Castle vibes--if you know, you know.

Man shits himself to death at least once a week. Unlike Raph, he'll text you to let you know he's fighting for his life in there. Not afraid to have a conversation through the bathroom door.

Writes a HUGE list of things to do while you’re staying in the lair, makes a playlist of videos to watch, marks places to show you, the whole shebang. You might have to sit him down and explain that you don’t need to be entertained every second of every day.

Perfect opportunity to do a bunch of shit his brothers won’t do with him; not out of malice, simply because they don’t have the time, or the motivation, or the general interest.

Like Raph, he’d benefit from the reassurance that you don’t mind just existing in the same space while you each do your own activity. Otherwise, he may wear himself down being “on” all the time.

Thinks it’s sooo funny to take you out around the sewers and pretend to get lost. Does it just to see what you’ll do, and insists it’s because he’s trying to find out who would be the best partner in a survival situation. Also, he had four hours to kill.

Mikey develops crushes fairly easily, and living with you would only exacerbate an existing crush or spark a new one entirely. The novelty of seeing a human toodle around the lair doing human things (albeit the same shit they do) never gets old.

He’ll take any kind of heat for you if you do the dishes on his turn. Seriously. Clogged toilet, stained furniture, stolen leftovers, scuff marks on Raph’s bike--Mikey will own up to nearly anything for a clean sink.

SPLINTER

Totally hoping their guest hooks up with one of his sons. He’ll outright admit it, too. What better way to get closer to one of the boys and test their ability to live together?

Probably the most relaxed. Doesn’t really worry about the whole thing; he’s old, he’s done enough worrying. Figures Leo will do most of it for him, anyways.

Straight up tells the boys to lock their doors and keep it down if they’re going to be boning their guest. Chose to announce this in the middle of dinner the night before your arrival just to fuck with them. Thinks he’s hilarious.

He is.

[kaunis-sielu]

Fire Dogs: 6

Steve pulls Grant’s hand off of your arm then steps in between you and Grant.

“Fawn are you okay?” He asks softly.

“I’m okay,” you assure him and he turns his gaze onto Grant.

“I thought I told you that you were to leave her alone.” His voice is low and furious, “And not only do I find you here, harassing her, putting your hands on her but you’re also telling everyone that she’s an Omega even though you know she doesn’t want people to know.”

“What’s it to you?” Grant sneers and you almost pity him. Steve, externally seems calm but you can feel the rage.

“You’re going to leave Fawn alone. You’re not going to tell anyone else she’s an Omega, you’re going to think she’s a Beta and if you do come across her you’re going to treat her with the respect she deserves.” Grant seems to be fighting the Alpha command, he grits his teeth and sweat starts to form on his brow. You know he won’t beat it though, your knees have practically buckled at the power behind his command. You see why they call him a True Alpha.

“What if I don’t?”

“I’ll kill you. Omega protection laws say that as her Alpha I can defend her in anyway I might need to.” He warns and while Grant pales Steve continues, “Now, you’re going to apologize to Fawn, you’re going to leave her alone and I’m not going to have to remind you again.”

“Sorry Fawn.” You nod then Steve turns him around and gives him a little shove and Grant meanders away from you.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Steve asks turning toward you.

“Yea, are you?” When he looks at you quizzically you clarify, “you were so angry.”

“You could tell?”

“I could feel it.” The slow smile he gives you causes your heart to race.

“Oh Honey,” he breathes pressing his forehead to yours. You can feel his breath slide across your cheek and you sigh softly as you close your eyes. Something wet hits your cheek and you pull away from Steve and look up at the sky as the clouds break.

You’re practically drenched in a matter of seconds,

“Rain! Steve rain!” You cry tilting your head back, a smile stretched across your face as the rain pours down on you. Finally, you’ve been waiting for this rain to knock down the fires and it’s finally here.

But no more fires means no more Steve. Your smile falls off of your face as quickly as it bloomed. “Rain.”

“Honey,” Steve says looking concerned.

“No more fire means no more you.” You choke out and he gently gathers you in to him.

“Shh, we can talk about it. This might not knock out all the fire.”

“But if it does,”

“We figure it out.” He soothes, “dance with me?”

“What?” You ask not moving your head from where it’s pressed to his chest. He takes your left hand gently in his right and puts your right hand up on his shoulder while wrapping his left arm around your back then he starts to sway.

It’s soothing, the way he slowly sways and hums. The rainwater is cool as it falls but you find that you don’t care at least not until it gets chilly.

“You wanna head home?”

“Yes, can, can you sleep with me again tonight?”

“Yea Honey.” You round the car and slide into the passengers seat before Cooper licks your face.

“Thanks Coop. You good boy.” You tell him and Steve starts the car then heads for home. Steve reaches over and offers you one of his hands, which you happily take and leave in your lap. It’s been nearly three weeks at this point and you’re not sure how you’re going to feel when he leaves. You’ve heard that it can be excruciating for an Omega to be without their Alpha but Steve technically isn’t your Alpha.

It’s still raining heavily when you get back home. You and Steve cook dinner together after he showers and you change into something dry. As you eat you talk a little about your day, how your drawings were approved and that printing will start soon. Steve is proud of you, a welcome feeling after Grant.

Your heart sinks when Bucky comes home early.

“Fires look like they’re all out.” He says with a grin and you have to blink away your tears before either man notices. Cooper does notice though and he comes over to you putting his head in your lap. You pet him absentmindedly while half listening to Steve and Bucky talk. They talk about the fire, the rain and when the subject of their trip home comes up you have to leave the room. It makes you too sad to think about them leaving.

You take Cooper out, grabbing the umbrella that you keep by the door on your way out. You don’t fool yourself and think that Steve hasn’t noticed your change in mood or the tears gathering on your eyelashes but you need a moment. You let Cooper run around in the rain, one of his favorite things to do, and you let a few of the tears fall.

You’re so conflicted on what to do. You’re 99% sure that Steve is your Alpha. The one Alpha for you, with how he makes you feel, and how he treats you and the fact that you can feel his emotions are all signs that he’s probably your Alpha. You’d be completely thrilled if he didn’t come from New York. If he wasn’t the True Alpha of his pack. But none of those things are true. He is the True Alpha, he lives in New York City, and you live here.

“Hey,” Steve says quietly from just inside the house. “You okay?”

“I don’t know.” You admit not looking at him,“I wanna be but I don’t know.”

“Wanna talk me through it?”

“I’m just really conflicted. I know in my gut you’re my Alpha, but you live there and I live here and I like it here. I like the smallness, the woods and the mountains. I can’t ask you to move your whole pack, and shouldn’t you being my Alpha be enough? Why isn’t it enough? Is there something wrong me with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you.” Steve assures you, “all of your feelings and thoughts are completely valid. If it makes you feel any better I know in my gut you’re my Omega. I’ve known since you opened the door. The pack and I will do whatever you need to be happy, no Alpha command needed.”

“I can’t ask you all to move here. How big is your pack?”

“All together around fifty.”

“Fifty! Steve! That’s huge!”

“Why don’t you come to New York with us? You and I can go upstate? See if we can find somewhere that’s close enough to the city but quiet enough for you?”

“I’m scared Steve.”

“Of what?”

“You know the last Alpha I had. What if this doesn’t work and I’ve moved my whole life to the other side of the country?”

“Do you own this place?” You nod, “then keep it. If it doesn’t work you still have a home but if it does we have a vacation place.”

“Would you want me to stop taking my suppressants?”

“If you want to. I know it’s easier to have kids when you’re not on them.”

“You’d want kids with me?”

“I want it all with you Omega. I want the bonding. The marriage. The family. I want all of it.” You’re floored by his admission you finally turn toward him and throw an arm around his neck pulling his lips to yours. Steve is gentle when he pulls your body flush against his, he’s warm and solid against you.

“I’ll come to New York with you. Are you sure you could live outside the city?”

“For you? Yes. Easily and happily.”

“Can we bring Cooper?”

“Of course. Are you gonna be alright traveling with the three of us?”

“Yea. I think I can manage.” You tell him with a smile, “when do you want to leave?”

“I don’t know, I’ve got to talk to Sam and Bucky. I’m sure they’ll wanna get back as much as I do but we have to be sure the fires are out for good. Maybe three days?”

“Okay, you might need to talk me down again. Get me out of my own head.”

“I can do that.” He promises, “you’re sure you want to go?”

“Yes. When I think of being left here without you it fills me with such dread. But I might get nervous about meeting your pack and about being on the east coast in a huge city.”

“The pack is going to love you. You don’t need to worry about that. Can I check your ribs again?”

“I suppose. Come on Cooper!”

“He’s soaked.” Steve says and you glance over at a very muddy Cooper.

“Yea, he loves the rain.” You’ll need to give him a bath before bedtime, luckily he loves bath time almost as much as he loves the rain. “I’ll have to give him a b-a-t-h. He loves them and will lose his mind when I say the word.”

“Ah.” Steve gives you a little half smile, “want help?”

“Only if you’re ready to get drenched again.”

“Bring it on.”

“Hey Cooper, wanna take a bath?” You say and as promised loses his mind barking and dancing around you excitedly. You let him in and he bolts downstairs.

Steve helps you give Cooper a bath and as you predict you’re both completely soaked by the time you’re done.

“Who got a bath? You two or Cooper?” Bucky teases as you and Steve go past him in the living room.

“Cooper, give him a hug.” You tell the dog who runs over to Bucky and still soaking wet jumps up into Bucky’s lap and throws his body onto Bucky’s torso.

“Awe Cooper!” You and Steve laugh as Bucky debates if he wants your dog off of him or if he’s just going to let it happen. He finally surrenders and hugs Cooper back as you and Steve head upstairs.

After Steve checks your shoulder and ribs he seems pleased with how you’re healing. Cooper sleeps with Bucky instead of you and honestly it’s kind of nice that you and Steve have the bed to yourselves. It would be even nicer if you could relax.

“Steve?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you tell me about the pack?”

“Can’t sleep?” You hum softly in response. So you drift off to his voice telling you about his pack.

The next three days are busy, you get things together for your trip to New York. You use as much of the perishable food as you can and bring other stuff to the food shelf in town. You pack up all of your book stuff, some of your clothes and whatever you’ll need for Cooper. You and Steve decide that you’ll drive your car with Cooper and some of your stuff then Sam and Bucky will drive the truck with everything else that you want to bring out and their stuff.

It’s weird locking up your place for what could be the last time. But you think that you’re ready, Steve is watching you out of the corner of his eye while he talks to Sam and Bucky. He gives you this sweet smile when you come walking down the sidewalk, Cooper on your heels.

“Ready to go Omega?” Steve asks and you nod, both his friends share a pleased look then both head for the drivers seat. A tussle breaks out, Sam getting Bucky into a headlock but Bucky is able to muscle his way out of the headlock and throws Sam to the ground before jumping into the truck with a triumphant yell.

“Is this going to be a bad idea?” You ask an unamused Steve.

“They’ll be fine. I’m more annoyed with them, I just know they’re gonna embarrass me on this trip.” He says as you walk to your car together, he opens the back for Cooper then buckles him in and joins you in the car.

“Maybe I should’ve ridden with them to hear the stories.”

“Absolutely not.” Steve says lightly, “besides you wouldn’t really leave your Alpha all alone would you?”

“Not unless I have to.” You admit and he takes your hand. He presses a kiss to the back of it and gives you a soft smile. You’d let him mark you right now if he was a normal Alpha you realize with a start, your anxiety spikes at the thought.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just, this is big ya know? I’ve been this fiercely independent fake Beta for like 18 years or so? And now I’m leaving that life behind.”

“You can still be an independent fake Beta.”

“No I can’t,” you admit, “I didn’t renew my prescription. I have a week left.”

Tag list:

@memyselfandmaddox @thefanficfaerie @patzammit @dsakita @dramadreamer14 @killcomet @thesassmisstress @andahugaroundtheneck @loving-life-my-way @thefridgeismybestie @dumblani @im-just-another-monster @mywinterwolf @giggleberts @biskwitmamaw @geeksareunique @paintballkid711 @lumar014 @also-fangirlinsweden @connie326 @inkedaztec @eralen @valsworldofcreativity @strangersstranger @blackwidownat2814 @sky0401 @winterbuckystan1917 @dontbescaredtosingalong

[ahatintimepieces]

It Comes Down in Buckets

Before Luka and Hattie ended up in Subcon, they faced many challenges on the road as they adjusted to Luka’s curse. This is a lil gift for Mak, @doodledrawsthings, and their “””Coffeeshop au””” where Luka pushes himself a bit too hard while trying to make the day special for Hattie. Please enjoy!

Word Count: 7,678

The rolling waves tumbled against the velvet sand and the morning sunlight skipped across the foaming crests, painting them gold. Hattie’s grip tightened around the old bucket she had found as she inhaled the salty, fishy air. Standing at the patches of grass that separated the edge of the forest from the beach, she gazed out at the shore. Her sketchbook waited in her backpack, begging her to pull it out and to memorialize the look of the sea and snapshot the ebb and flow of surging waves, but she had work to do.

She had to find the prettiest seashells before anyone else so she could sell them for some extra cash. Every little bit helped.

Weaving down to the beach, the warming sand caught between her toes and kicked up with each flop and flip of her flipflops. She swung the dented bucket with rust stains as she hurried to the lapping tide. She stepped into the water and immediately squealed before jumping back from the cold. The foam receded, as if teasing her, and an impish grin spread across her features.

As the water crawled back up the shore, Hattie fixed her old baseball cap and then leapt into the ankle-deep wave. Her initial screech dissolved into laughter. Splashing around, her flipflops tossed clouds of murky dust up and the sloshing, icy water splattered against her leg. She placed her hands on her hips and struck a pose as she gazed out at the sliver of light where the sky paralleled the ocean. With the cascading crackles of the snapping sea rumbling around her, it was hard not to let her mind wander into daydreams.

She could picture it perfectly. A calm day at the beach. No time limits for her dad, no worrying about money, and he could finally rest. He could finally be happy again. And she could play in the surf and chase crabs, pretend to be a pirate finding buried treasure, or draw and paint next to her dad as he napped. She could picture it so perfectly.

But she glanced down at the bucket as it bumped against her hip. Its creaking handle brought her back to reality.

Hattie let out a huff before shuffling out of the grasp of the waves, where it would be easier to spot shells. But before she did, a playful crest rolled back to reveal the tip of a fancy looking shell. Gasping, Hattie knelt and carefully tugged the shell free and revealed what she always thought of as a mini conch, though her dad would probably tell her that it was whelk of some kind since it had a rounder top and thinner end.

After checking the inside cavity for any snail or sea critter by poking a cautious finger around to confirm it was empty, she held the whelk to her ear.

She grinned when she heard the ocean. But she was also standing in it so the shell could still potentially be a dud. Nevertheless, she placed it into the bucket, and it slid around as she went searching for more.

As Hattie combed the beach, a couple people showed up to lounge on the sand or wade in the surf. It didn’t get crowded, since it was a workday, but when she wandered towards the opposite side of the long beach, where the sand was cut off by rounded boulders that jutted out into the sea, she ran into a tourist screaming at a seagull.

“What’s wrong?” Hattie called as she hoisted her bucket overflowing with shells to the side to make it easier to sprint forward.

“That darn seagull took my stuff!” The tourist gestured angrily towards a seagull perched on one of the rocks surrounded by water. It bobbed its head around as it stood proudly over a grey camera. Sunlight glinted against the lens.

“I’ll get it,” Hattie offered without hesitation. She placed the bucket down and scrambled up the boulders.

“Wait, kid, you don’t have to!” He waved his hands across his chest, trying to get her to stop, but it was too late. She didn’t listen as she assessed the slippery boulders and slowly navigated her way across.

She came to the edge of the final boulder and eyed the gap between it and the one in the waves. The seagull cocked its head towards her and let out a squawk. Pausing, Hattie glanced around, trying to figure out how to distract the seagull.

Before she could, the seagull snapped its beak towards something behind her and she glanced over her shoulder to find the tourist was waving a sandwich around. The seagull swooped over her, and she belatedly ducked as it soared over to the tourist. He yelped and turned on his heels before sprinting from the squawking bird.

Hattie tugged her cap down in determination before turning back towards the rock. She took a cautious step back before lunging from the boulder and vaulting onto the next. Grunting after she smacked against the rock, she scrambled up and grabbed the camera. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and nestled the camera between her sketchbook and Professor Popcorn. For good measure, she tucked her dad’s hoodie around it to keep it extra safe.

Once her backpack was zipped, she looped her arms through the straps and got ready to jump back.

The tourist had returned to his spot, hunched over and panting with his cap askew and white and grey feathers stuck to his vibrant orange shirt. She inhaled a steadying breath and leapt back towards shore.

She misjudged the distance.

Nearly sliding over the side of the rock, she scraped her knee against stone as she clambered and clawed. Panic squeezed her chest until she could finally find her grip.

“Careful, now!” the tourist called as she hoisted herself up with her heart pounding. She glanced towards the worried man and gave him a thumbs up before crawling forward.

Her stinging knee threatened to buckle when she first stood, but she gritted her teeth and pushed onward. She navigated back to the beach and dropped down onto the sand.

“Geez, kid, that was dangerous!” the tourist sighed as Hattie pulled out his camera.

“But I got it!” She beamed, holding it out proudly. Her smile faltered when she noticed the identical camera that hung around his neck. His chin tilted down as he followed her gaze.

“I was trying to tell you, I have a spare,” he said apologetically. “But, hey! Since you got it, why don’t you keep it? It’s great for preserving memories!”

Hattie pulled the camera back, appraising the contraption.

Preserving memories? No matter how much she sketched all the places she and her father had been, it might be nice to be able to just take a picture to quickly capture everything. She could take a picture of the sea, in fact. But she stared into the curved lens with growing dismay.

Flashes of headlights and blinding snaps. Posters with blurry images of her shadowy dad offering money for anyone who could capture the pictured creature, dead or alive. And, even when he shapeshifted, he was still so jumpy around cameras.

Maybe she could sell it at a pawn shop for a little extra cash? In the meantime, it might not hurt to keep it on hand…

“Oh, hold on,” the tourist exclaimed, startling her out of her thoughts. She tucked the camera back into her backpack and blinked up at him with wide blue eyes. “You got quite the scrape there, let me help.” He motioned her over to his set up on the beach, complete with a towel and umbrella.

After the tourist helped her clean up and shared back-up sandwiches he had prepared, she let him choose one of the shells to take as thanks and set off to sell the rest.

She set up a little area at the top of the beach, halfway between the rest of the city and the parking lot for beach goers. After doodling a cute sign declaring her wares were ready, she caught the eyes of passersby and wove imaginative tales about the shells for anyone who came near. Since this wasn’t the first time that she had sold items that she salvaged while her dad worked, she had developed a good enough sense to get a read on personalities and how to appeal to them. Parents with children were easily swayed by silly stories about the shells. She even managed to convince a businessman walking by to purchase one since her wares were far cheaper than the nearby souvenir shops that sold the same shells. And, after all, hers were higher quality and, really, didn’t he want to support an aspiring entrepreneur? (It probably helped her chances that she practiced that word a few times prior to make sure she was pronouncing it right).

She bolted when she spotted some cops patrolling the area, though.

By the end of the day, she successfully sold more than half of her shells. She tucked the coins and cash safely into an inside pocket in her backpack, where her secret stash would help her buy food for whenever her dad inevitably got stuck in noddle form and couldn’t work. She had tried giving her earnings to him directly before, but he had only gotten upset, insisting she didn’t need to worry about money and it was his job to take care of her, not the other way around. But they both knew that he often pushed himself past his limits, and he couldn’t do everything himself.

She was just beginning to collect firewood close to their camp when footsteps tracked through the grass. Hattie froze, turning towards the sound and holding her breath. Golden light flickered between the trees and an approaching shadow broke into the small clearing.

“Hey, kiddo!” Her dad, still in his human form, which surprised her, jumped forward with a wide grin and his hands behind his back. Wrinkles lined the corners of his eyes, but he was alert with enthusiasm as he straightened. A plastic bag crinkled noisily as it swayed behind him. “Guess what I got for our most important celebration tonight?”

“Celebration?” Hattie tilted her head, though his energy was infectious, and she cracked a smile.

“Don’t tell me you forgot what day it is,” he teased, bringing his hand forward and adjusting the delivery cap he wore for his morning job of delivering papers.

“Payday?” she guessed, crossing over to their firepit and dropping the dry twigs and branches she found.

“N-no, kiddo,” he faltered, quirking a brow as he revealed a plastic bag with local dollar store logo. “It’s your birthday!”

“Oh.” She blinked up at him.

“Did you really forget?” His features fell and the worn creases on his face highlighted the underlining fatigue. “We talked about it, right? When we were-when we were moving.”

“Y-yeah,” Hattie said. She did sort of remember now that he mentioned it, but she hadn’t thought too much about it since they had other things to worry about. “I just forgot what day of the week it is.”

He didn’t seem to believe her but he accepted the excuse.

“Well, I got hot dogs and marshmallows,” he added quickly, pulling out a bag of large marshmallows for emphasis. If he sensed how she tensed, he ignored it and gestured towards the direction of the beach. “I thought we could start a fire at one of the communal firepits and have a cookout!”

“What about our camp?” Hattie gestured to the little circle of rocks they had set up a few days ago when they first decided to settle in this city.

“It’ll still be here,” he promised. After tucking the marshmallows back into the bag, he walked over to her pile of wood and searched for the longest and cleanest sticks.

“But the beach is out in the open,” she pressed, nervously fiddling with the edge of her shirt. “Don’t you need to change back?”

“Of course not!” he insisted with a little more force than he probably intended. In a lighter tone, he waved his hand dismissively with a smile plastered across his face. “I can hold it together long enough for your birthday. Come on! Let’s have fun!”

He placed a few sticks he deemed worthy for hot dog and marshmallow roasting into the plastic bag and then motioned for her to follow.

“But—” she hesitated.

“You know, I used to do this when I was a kid,” he jumped enthusiastically into the memory, not giving her a chance to argue. She frowned but grabbed her backpack and the bucket that still had the leftover seashells.

Hey, if they were going to be on the beach, she might as well keep an eye out for more.

“Any time we went camping, we would grab a bunch of hot dogs and marshmallows. Of course,” he added a bit quietly as they walked through the woods, “usually we had buns and graham crackers and chocolate. But I did snag some ketchup packets from the restaurant!” He beamed proudly.

Hattie forced a smile, though guilt gnawed at the reminder that he had worked two jobs that day, trying to get enough money together so that they could find a motel to stay at sooner than later. She considered giving him the money she had saved, but she didn’t want to cause him more grief especially since she could tell he was masking his exhaustion. Maybe she could hide the money where he would find it with his things? She could pass it off as him misplacing the bills!

Though, both of them had become increasingly vigilant when dealing with money in the past couple years. He would have noticed if that much went missing in the first place.

“Here we are,” he gestured to the firepit closest to the forest the second they walked onto the sand. “Sit tight while I get the fire going.” There was wrapped firewood next to the pit, all ready for them and their cookout. His water bottle was also leaning against one of the logs, indicating that he had stopped by before running to get her. While he finished setting up, Hattie gazed out at the sea.

The water mirrored the stretch of twilight. Orange-pink rays of dwindling sunlight lingered on the horizon and the occasional star twinkled in the darkening sky. Crackles and pops that came from the growing fire behind her mingled with the surging waves before her. And when her dad joined her side and held out his hand, she smiled as she took it, keeping her gaze locked on the horizon.

“It’s like that one picture in the book at the library in the last town,” she whispered, craning her neck back to meet his warm golden gaze. “The one with the watercolor illustrations!”

“It is!” he agreed, giving her hand a tight squeeze.

“I want to paint something like this one day,” she admitted, turning back to the sea.

“I bet you can, and sooner than you think.” His smile permeated his voice. He gently tugged her hand and nodded towards the firepit. Despite the lines under his eyes, he did seem happy, and that was good enough for Hattie.

“Okay!” She joined him on a log, and eagerly waited for him to pass her a stick he doused with water to keep it from burning.

Her dad filled her in on his day as they roasted the hot dogs. He got her laughing with a few jokes his coworkers shared, and she nodded knowingly when he told her about some of the customers he had worked with. When he asked about her day as he broke open the bag of marshmallows, she explained that she was looking for seashells and presented the bucket with her findings.

“Quick, if you have twenty seashells and I take five, how many do you have left?” he quizzed.

“F-fifteen!” Hattie blinked, hesitating only a moment as she registered the question.

“Good girl,” he praised, passing over a marshmallow.

“If you bought one bag of marshmallows for tonight, how many marshmallows will you have tomorrow morning?” She blinked up at him, trying and failing to conceal her growing smirk.

“Hmm.” He speared his own marshmallow as he gave her a wry grin. “That’s a tough one, why don’t you give me a hint?”

“Zero!” She pulled her burning marshmallow out of the fire and quickly blew on it.

The flames dissipated into a plume of smoke, leaving a burnt crust behind on the marshmallow. Without waiting, she popped it into her mouth and the gooey burst of molten sugar melted on her tongue.

“Becath I’ll eat ‘em all!” she declared through her sticky mouthful.

“Just don’t choke!” He chuckled before putting his arm around her and giving her a side squeeze. She immediately snuggled into his side, comforted by his warmth.

As they worked through the marshmallows and the night cloaked the beach, Hattie pulled out the hoodie and tugged it over herself. The hoodie was far too big since it was her dad’s but despite the floppy sleeves and how it was more like a dress on her, it was cozy and kept the night chill away. She became even cozier when her dad plucked her up and enveloped her in a hug.

“Happy birthday, princess,” he whispered as he nuzzled his cheek against hers.

“Hap—erm,” her cheeks flushed since she had almost wished him a happy birthday back. “Thank you.”

He chuckled and gave her a tight squeeze.

“Okay, I have one more surprise,” he said, arching back and stretching his arm maybe a bit farther than a human arm should, and rummaged around the plastic bag.

She leaned over, trying to peek and his other hand moved over her eyes.

“Don’t look!” He shifted around a bit before Hattie felt something lower into her lap. “Alright, now you can.” He pulled his hand away and she immediately glanced down.

Watercolors. A plastic palette of watercolors rested in her lap with a tiny brush snuggly tucked into a divot on the side. A single golden ribbon was taped on for the birthday wrapping. Her chest tightened as she imagined all the things she could paint, all the things she wanted to bring to life with water-soaked pigments.

But how much did he spend on her?

“Well?” he prompted with an edge of nervousness. “Is it okay?”

“I love it.” In one swift movement, she hugged the palette before swiveling around and burying her face into his chest. A lump threatened to lodge in her throat, but she swallowed it as she hugged her dad.

“Oh, Hattie.” He leaned over her and held her tightly. “I’m glad. I know it’s not much.”

“It’s perfect,” she promised, grasping his shirt.

He did so much for her, sacrificed so much just to take care of her, and now this? She wished she could do more to help.

After a few moments of lingering in his embrace, she pulled back while rubbing at her eyes.

“Everything oh-ahem.” Her dad suddenly pulled his hand away from his task of brushing her hair back. She wrinkled her nose as she blinked up at him.

He held his hand behind his back and his nervous, forced smile revealed his growing fangs.

“Dad,” she shuffled out of his lap, “you need to change back.”

She glanced around the beach quickly, relieved that there was no one nearby to see him.

“No!” He winced when an edge of a reverb tainted his voice. He cleared his throat and waved his other hand dismissively. It had completely turned ebony-violet. “I’m fine! I can hold it for a little long—” he stalled as he glimpsed his other hand and snapped it behind his back too, “—longer.”

Hattie frowned with her brows drooping. His irises radiated golden light as his pupils faded.

“Please. I know I can—” he faltered, pulling his hands back and holding them out before himself. His fingers trembled as they dripped, trying to reconnect. He bit his lip and grimaced when his lengthening fangs jabbed him. The familiar, purple-singed shadows spread from the expanding tips of his chestnut hair.

“It’s okay,” she insisted, turning around and rolling up the sleeves of the hoodie to start cleaning up so that they could head back to camp. She knew he was probably more exhausted than he let on.

“But it’s your birthday,” he whispered in such a broken voice that she felt a world of guilt press against her shoulders.

“And I can still spend it with you as a noodle!” She kept her tone light, giving him a smile strained from her concern.

The gold had encased his eyes and his teeth became backlit by a surging light in his throat. He considered her with tight dismay before scowling.

“No!” He pushed to his feet. “No, I can do this!”

“But, Dad,” Hattie called anxiously, unable to do anything but watch as he paced by the bonfire.

He held his hands out in front of himself, clenching them as he stared daggers into his purple palms. During his pacing, his legs began to quiver, and he paused, hunching as his hair began to drip. His fingers merged into mittens, taking on a gloopy appearance and Hattie thought that that was it, that he would just start getting bigger. She opened her mouth to try and get him to focus on saving his clothes, but the words died in her throat.

“Stop changing,” he wheezed in a wavering voice. He doubled over, clutching his stomach as he strained to keep a human shape. He squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, snuffing out his golden light. The flickering fire cast twisting shadows against his trembling form. His arms lost all pretense of having bones and flopped down like limp noodles. His legs buckled and he thrust out his hand to catch himself.

“Something’s wrong!” Hattie hurried to his side, reaching out as his mitten hand clenching the sand lost its shape entirely and expanded into a puddle.

“N-no,” his reverberating voice gurgled behind globs of dripping purple that stretched across his mouth when he parted his lips. “I can do this!” But just as he said that, he grunted and lurched forward. Viscous liquid oozed from his shoes as his legs melted.

But they didn’t form a tail.

They just pooled out uselessly behind him.

“Dad!” Hattie placed a hand on his arm, but it collapsed under her touch. He let out a strangled cry as his whole arm gave away and he slammed against the beach.

He continued to melt despite his groaning and straining. The trembling shadows spilled from his clothes and into the sand. Panic seized Hattie’s chest as she feared she was going to lose him to the beach. Glancing around frantically, her gaze fell onto the bucket, and she lunged for it.

“Hold on!” Hattie called as she dumped the shells out and slid over to her father, who had gone eerily silent as the pooling liquid oozed and spread.

She dropped the bucket into the sand and quickly tried to shove waves of the viscous liquid inside, catching particles of sand with it. Once half of him filled the rusted bucket and kept spilling out, she righted it before scooping up purple globs. She tossed handful after handful of the soupy remains of her father into the bucket. The trembling sludge sputtered and splashed. Tears stung the corners of her eyes when she saw some liquid darkening and fading into intangible shadows that disappeared into the sand, gone for good.

“Stay with me,” she whispered in a cracking voice as she scooped up every last bit that she could.

After wringing purple from his shirt, pants, and the edges of her sleeves which had tumbled into the puddle a few times, Hattie searched for any of her father’s features in the goop squelching against the edges of the bucket.  

“Dad?” She lightly prodded the thick surface of the liquid and it shivered. A muffled groan bubbled up, though no golden light from his eyes or mouth followed. Hattie sighed, sitting back in the sand as she convinced herself that the fact that he had groaned meant he was still there. But now just as soup. In a bucket.

They’ve been through worse, right? This, too, should pass?

“Okay, you just sleep while I clean up,” she muttered as she pushed to her feet.

She collected their things and put out the fire, all the while glancing at the bucket as the goop settled. Once she had the plastic bag slung over her shoulder and her birthday gift tucked into her backpack, she slowly picked up the bucket.

“Oof,” she huffed as she heaved the bucket up, wincing when droplets splashed over the side. “Why is magic goop so heavy? That’s stupid,” she grumbled as she slowly made her way across the dark beach and back to their camping area. As she paused multiple times to give her arms a break and catch her breath, she swallowed the rising lump in her throat and pushed onward.

*

Luka groaned and on top of the usual reverb that came with his noodle body it sounded oddly like the gurgle of a garbage disposal choking on water. He blinked tired eyes and the golden glow rebounded against the daffodil-yellow inside of Hattie’s baseball cap.

Oh. Had he shrunk down and dozed while Hattie was shopping? That didn’t seem right. Actually, what had he been doing before this?

A surge of panic bubbled up as he recalled trying to hold onto his humanity at the beach. He remembered the tighter he held the form, the more it slipped through his clenched fingers. He heard a slosh of thick liquid when he tried to lift his hand.

He couldn’t lift his hand.

He couldn’t lift his hand.

He couldn’t even turn his head! His eyes darted around frantically, catching the rim of some sort of curving, metal wall in the corners of his vision but he could only really look straight up at Hattie’s cap.

“K-ki—” he sputtered as some sort of gunk trickled into his mouth. Expelling wet coughs only caused more of the viscous goop to slip in. His anxious attempts to move coupled with his hyperventilating only increased the panicked sloshing that sounded like puddles disrupted by pricks of rain.

“Dad?” Hattie’s sleepy voice responded.

“H-help I’m—” he gagged on a particularly large glob.

“Hold on!”

He tried to spit out the gunk and a heavy droplet plunked against him. He shivered from the sensation but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what was going on. Relief swelled when the cap was removed and Hattie looked down at him, with sunlight filtering through the trees. Squinting at the sudden light, he tried to squirm around.

While not happy, she at least looked safe and sound. She wore his delivery cap, and he could see the dangling strings of his hoodie. If the sunlight was any indication, he must have slept through the night. He grimaced, hoping she hadn’t been too uncomfortable or cold without his coil to protect her from the elements.

“What’s going on?” he forced out, feeling like he was talking through a wad of bubblegum.

Hattie sat back, making it harder for him to see her at his angle. He twisted to try to get closer.

“You’re in a bucket,” she answered tiredly. When she glanced up and realized she was wearing his delivery cap, she jolted and swiftly took it off.

“A bucket?” he echoed in distress. His eyes shifted around as he glimpsed the walls and the occasional splash of purple-black goop if he moved too quickly. He blinked.

“Oh my god, I melted.”

“Yeah,” Hattie sighed as she rubbed her eyes with the baggy, purple sleeve. “Are you okay?”

“Um.”

No.

“I’ve been better.” He winced, realizing all the gunk that was getting caught in his mouth was himself. Fantastic.

“Do you need anything?” she prompted with hesitation as she glanced around. “Like water or something?”

“I need to get out of this bucket!” He pushed his eye against the rim, and he felt himself ripple. “Here, dump me out! I can try to—” he coughed, “—pull myself back together.”

“I lost so much of you on the beach though,” Hattie objected. “And y-you just disappeared, like the goopy stuff turned all shadowy.”

He caught the crack in her voice, and frowned, both from hearing how part of him just up and evaporated—okay, a lot of him if what was left of his monstrous noodle form could fit inside a tiny bucket—and from how much he had frightened her.

“I can’t stay like this, though,” he argued. “I have work! And you can’t stay in the woods on your own!” He shifted around, trying to figure out how to stretch his neck or anything but his neck and everything was gone! First, he lost his body and now he lost his monster body? This wasn’t fair! He couldn’t live like this!

In his frustration, he tried to will himself to have arms or hands or even his tail would work. The goop bubbled and frothed, and he grunted from the strain, but he could do it! He could pull himself together!

“Stop!” Hattie commanded. He yelped as he felt small hands jut into the goop and scoop up his features.

He felt himself spread out and winced as strands dripped back down into the bucket with heavy plops. It was like the world and his body were spinning around him, disconnected and far from his grasp as his head remained stagnant but stuck. After blinking and spotting Hattie’s thumb acting as a barrier as trickles of him slipped through the cracks of her fingers, he grounded himself in her frustrated blue gaze.

“If you keep hurting yourself, you’ll just make it worse!” Her nose scrunched up into a hard scowl, but he heard the lump in her throat underneath her irate bite. “Just stop!”

“Sorry,” he gurgled quietly. Her brows furrowed even more, and he added as gently as he could, “I’ll rest, kiddo. I’ll take it easy.”

“Promise?” She stared him down.

“Promise,” he breathed out, slumping.

She lowered him back into the bucket and a soft bloop sound was followed by flickers of drops as she pulled her hands out. He hummed to relieve some distress as he tried to force himself to relax.

“Maybe you just need sleep,” Hattie offered. She grumbled a bit, but he could tell she was trying to soften her tone.

“That’s usually all it is,” he agreed.

He did feel a similar exhaustion to all the times he pushed his time limit and got stuck in noodle form. Only this was much worse. Even when he was a human, he wasn’t sure he could ever remember a time he was so tired that he couldn’t move his muscles.

Leaning his eyes against the rim of the bucket for some semblance of security, he desperately hoped he wouldn’t be stuck like this. But even if he did eventually turn back to monster-normal, he had a sneaking suspicion he really screwed over his already sparse shapeshifting time.  

“Do you want me to put the hat back over?” Hattie lifted her cap into his view. “To help you sleep?”

“No,” he said a little quickly. She lowered the hat and he added, sheepishly, “I know I can’t see much from here, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Okay. Go to sleep. Let me know if you need anything.” She scooted over to their campfire, and he heard the click of the lighter.

He sighed but tried to let the distant crackle of flame and the low tap of Hattie sketching on paper lull him into a semi-relaxed state. His eyes closed into tiny slits and as he dozed, a gentle and continuous rumble bubbled up from within.

“Dad?” Hattie whispered after a stretch of time, scooting back into view and looking down with her hair slipping from behind her ear.

“Hmm?” His eyes cracked open, slowly registering the rumbling sound. In his peripheral vision, the surface of the ebony-violet goop rippled steadily.

Hattie cracked a grin.

“You’re purring!” she said in slight disbelief before exploding into giggles.

“I’m—?” he began before he recognized the familiar and involuntary purr. A dusting of faint gold emanated from beneath the surface of the goop as he blushed.

“The whole bucket is shaking!” Hattie covered her mouth as her laugh trickled out in mirthful chimes.

Despite himself, Luka smiled, glad to hear her laugh.

“I guess it looks pretty silly,” he admitted, imagining the bucket wiggling around. Though now that he was becoming more alert, the rumbling slowed to a stop. In their absence, he realized how comforting the vibrations had been.

Hmm. Maybe the purring was a way to pull himself back together? It wasn’t something he could force or speed up, though. Typical.

“Do you want any food?” Hattie perked after she calmed down from laughing. “I was roasting some hot dogs.”

“I’ll try a bite,” his eyes and mouth shifted up and down in an affirmative nod that sent tiny waves splashing against the side of the bucket.

He couldn’t really tell if he was hungry, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to eat but he would do anything that would help him replenish some energy.

When Hattie returned with a torn piece of a hot dog, Luka opened his mouth and let out a gurgling, “ah.”

With a giggle, she gently lowered the hot dog as close as she could before dropping it. He felt the hot dog plop down and coughed. Hattie winced in apology as he closed his mouth and pensively chewed.

“I’m fine,” he said after a thick swallow. He couldn’t feel the lump of the hot dog anymore but in the past few years of dealing with his magic, goopy body, he learned to not ask questions he couldn’t answer and near the top of that list was wondering what the heck replaced his melted digestive track.

Hattie fed him a few more pieces and he swallowed the dismay of not being able to feed himself. Even though he had grown accustomed to relying on Hattie for help when his chameleon paws couldn’t work with delicate silverware, the familiar sorrow from the early days returned now that he didn’t even have hands.

After what he was certain was a late lunch, he napped on and off as Hattie remained nearby. When he would check in with her, she would present her latest sketches proudly, and even had one completed work in watercolor. It was a scene of the ocean, and while her sketchbook paper wasn’t meant to hold so much moisture, causing it to crinkle and warp when it dried, she excitedly explained that she was going to do other paintings exactly like it, but all showcasing the ocean at different times of the day. He told her that he was eager to see them, overjoyed that she was having fun with her gift like he had hoped she would.

If only he had been able to save up enough for a motel in time for her birthday, or at the very least, if only he hadn’t melted on her. But that was really his fault for pushing himself so hard.

He had just so badly wanted to make it special. She hadn’t even remembered her own birthday! What else was he supposed to do? Let himself turn into a monster? She deserved to have her actual dad on her birthday.

“Hey, Dad?” Her voice drew him out of his sinking despair.

“What’s up, kiddo?” he shifted his eyes in the bucket, trying to find a position that best allowed him to see her.

“What should I tell your boss?” She held out his phone, which was lit up with messages with letters in all caps.

Luka groaned.

“Can you read the messages for me?” He mentally prepared for the nerve-wracking ordeal of trying to explain himself without admitting to his boss that the reason he couldn’t make it to work was because he turned into a bucket of silly putty.

With Luka directing her, Hattie responded to the understandably angry but maybe harsher than necessary texts from his boss at the restaurant. Once that was done, he let out a heavy sigh, accidentally blowing a bubble in the goop, which shortly popped and splattered. He flinched when a drop landed in his eye.

“Do I have anything from the newspaper office?” Luka asked, dreading the thought of not only the manager getting upset when he found out no one had delivered newspapers in the morning, but of all the people who would no doubt call to complain about empty doorsteps.

“No,” Hattie replied slowly.

“Really?” Luka wasn’t sure if he should count that as good or bad. Either way, he was probably out of a job. “I’ll need to start looking for something else.”

“Why?” Hattie scooted closer, hugging her knees to her chest as she looked down at him.

“They’ve probably already decided to fire me,” he lamented with his mouth sinking and gurgling in the gunk.

“Nah.” She glanced away, tapping around on his phone.

He blinked up at her.

“Nah?” he repeated. When Hattie kept her gaze down and her lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes narrowed. “Hattie? What did you do?”

“I maybe did your deliveries for you?” she offered guiltily.

He stared at her.

“You what?” he sputtered, causing his sludge to ripple as panic seized him. “By yourself? Hattie! You just turned eight! My route is a couple miles long, and you would have had to bike before dawn! There are child labor laws! What do you mean you did my deliveries?”

“I had help!” Hattie hurried to explain. “I ran into a nice tourist I met yesterday, and he gave me a map and delivered half of the newspapers for me.”

“You worked with a stranger?” Luka demanded, shifting around in the bucket. “Harriet Princeton, you are not supposed to talk to strangers!”

“So, I’m only supposed to talk to you?” She threw her hands up in the air.

“No! I mean—that’s not the point!” he faltered, sloshing around as the bite in her words stung. Bits of goop splattered over the rim and Hattie jolted.

“Stop freaking out!” She helplessly tried to grasp at the stray droplets. “I can’t lose you again!”

He paused, tensing. Well, tensing as much as he could as a viscous liquid.

“Wh-what do you mean lose me again?” he pressed tightly.

“I thought you were gone when you melted,” she said with a cracking voice. She hugged her legs and rest her chin on her knees. “I thought I didn’t get all of you in time and you were gone, and I just wanted to help because you’re so tired all time but—” she trailed off in a squeak as tears filled her eyes.

“Hattie—” he shifted towards her, but the goop sputtered as he instinctively tried to reach out to his daughter. Liquid stung his eyes and he blinked rapidly. “Hattie, look at me please.”

She turned and revealed tears streaming down her cheeks.

Gold blurred his vision, but he pressed on.

“I’m sorry,” he began in a congested voice, thick with gunk and reverb. “I know you were just trying to help, and I appreciate it! But I don’t want you worrying about my jobs or money. You shouldn’t have to.”

His voice cracked and all too late, he realized that the reason he sounded so congested was partly because of the golden tears filling the bucket. They glittered in the goop, separated like oil drops in water. His breath hitched and the goop swelled.

“But I can—” he tried to continue as the tears slipped out and the goop splashed up when he instinctively tried to wipe them away with a hand that wasn’t there.

“You’re spilling!” Hattie interrupted, jolting upward and hurrying over, placing her arms around the rim but the added tears were causing his anxious sloshing to spill over. “Stop crying!”

“What?” He jolted, shifting his eyes around and catching glimpses of purple and gold staining her sleeves. Her dismayed features above him only encouraged his tears and he made a muffled sniffling noise as panic surged and his tears swelled.

“Dad!” she yelped. But her own distraught features cleaved through his squishy, melted chest.

“I-I can’t! Give me a moment!” Twisting away, he tried to lock his eyes on something to ground himself, but in his panic, he kept attempting to turn and wipe his tears. The spilling goop sloshed uncontrollably.

“Try to laugh!” Hattie begged. “Tell me a stupid joke!”

“Ah, uh.” He pressed his lips into a tight line as he struggled to think of something. “Um. You know what? This situation really pails in comparison to—uh—that one time we teleported into that bear den!”

“What?” Hattie furrowed her brows. But it looked like her tears halted in confusion.

“P-pails, like a pun? It’s a joke. It’s supposed to be funny. Please laugh,” he said weakly. He blinked and let out a tight exhale as he felt himself calm and the rest of the goop start to settle.

“That’s a stupid joke.” Hattie sniffled as she leaned back and slowly lifted her arms, revealing sleeves soaked with purple sludge.

“I got buckets of them.” He added a sardonic, “ha,” as the gold ebbed. While a few dancing droplets of tears wiggled in his goop, now that he was calmer, trembling splashes no longer spilled over the rim.

Hattie wrung out the sleeves. He flinched at the droplets that pelted his face and sent ripples along the surface.

“That’s even worse,” she sighed, though a small smile found its way onto her features. She tugged up one of her sleeves and gingerly reached over and wiped at the edge of his eye.

He grunted, squeezing it shut but when she pulled away, he watched her flick a golden droplet towards the grass. He sighed, blowing a few bubbles.

“Please don’t do my job tomorrow,” he said quietly. “We’ll be okay.”

She nodded slowly before thinking better of it.

“Only if you promise not to push yourself, okay?”

“Okay,” he said tiredly before he yawned. Sludge dribbled into his mouth, and he sputtered.

“Sleep.” She poked the goop. He shifted his eyes next to her finger, which was the closest he could come to giving her an encouraging nuzzle.

“What about you?” he asked, staring up at the canopy of leaves. There was still sunlight trickling down, but it seemed fainter.

“I can eat soon,” she shrugged.

“Wake me if you need anything,” he muttered, feeling his eyelids grow heavy.

Did he even have eyelids at this point? Maybe it was more that his eyes were sinking. Might be more apt.

Hattie promised to, but he had a feeling they both knew she would deal with any problem on her own before waking him. Frowning, he supposed the best thing he could do for her would be to recover as swiftly as possible.

He settled into the bucket, and soon enough, the sludge began to ripple as he automatically purred. He caught Hattie’s stifled snort at the vibrating bucket before he fell asleep.

Night blanketed the forest by the time he woke up again. Still purring, he blinked as he felt something shift. The rippling rumbles of goop seemed to be tightening and when he moved to lift his head, he peeked over the rim of the bucket. Relief swelled inside as he spotted Hattie’s back. She was drawing by the fire, safe and sound.

Edging backward, he tilted his head down, blinking at the vibrating goop as it slowly re-solidified into shape. After a moment, he lifted his noodle arms and wiggled his chameleon paws. Funny, he was actually relieved to see them for once. Once his tail formed, he heaved out a sigh. There wasn’t a drop of him left behind in the bucket, but now he took up less volume.

“Kiddo,” he called softly, floating up to the rim of the bucket and placing his hands on the edge, curling his tail beneath himself.

“Dad!” Hattie gasped when she saw his familiar form. Scrambling around, she darted over, and he flew up into her embrace.

“You’re tiny,” she muttered into the plush fluff around his neck. His tail waved back and forth as he returned her firm hug.

“I’m sure I’ll get back to normal size,” he guessed. Probably. After a long enough rest without using his shapeshifting.

Moments passed until he caught a low grumble coming from Hattie’s stomach. He craned his neck with a smirk.

“In the meantime, are there anymore marshmallows to share?”

“I ate them all. Remember our math quiz? Zero left.” Hattie said without missing a beat as she turned back around and brought him to the fireside. “Just kidding, I saved you some.”

“That’s my girl!” His tail waved harder as he chuckled.

He extended an arm towards the bag, noting that he couldn’t really stretch it like usual, and made a grasping motion. Hattie plopped the bag into her lap, still using an arm to hug him, and they both took turns popping the confections into their mouths.

Yes, after a week’s worth of rest, he would grow to his usual massive size and when he could shapeshift again, he would have to deal with the consequences of missing so much work. But until then, he and Hattie would take it day by day and one marshmallow at a time.

[sillyman-inc]

DO U HAVE ANY KWAZII HEADCANONS PLS PLS

Oh yes I do.

Yes I do.

*mischievous laughter*

Okok.

I have a lot.

So buckle down for this.

Kwazii is trans (ftm), omnisexual (male pref) and catgender ! Also I hc he’s on the aroace spectrum as well (still can have attraction just rare basically). Since me too. And I kin this mf so. Self projection. Anyways goes by he/they/paw pronouns !

You’re gonna look at him and tell me he doesn’t have ADHD and dyslexia? /lh

I wanna say he’s like 5”5 and comes to shoulder height with Shellington and chest height with Barnacles.

Eye stuff:

He has heterochromea! The eye that’s always showing is a yellow and the one that’s covered up is a green :)

He has light sensitivity and sensory issues to his right eye (one that’s always covered) so he just keeps it covered and only takes it off when needed.

OH BUT ALSO. He sees this as somewhat of an advantage because in dark areas he’s able to see very well with that one eye and it doesn’t really hurt ! Actual pirates would wear eyepatches so they could see better at night so I hc he does this too (I stole this from my friend Miles, hi Miles if you’re seeing this)

Also cats cannot see very well. Like. At all. So I feel like he’d wear glasses or contacts.

I think he’s a medium fur haired cat. I don’t really think he’s a shorthair.

He is a tabby cat :)))

Broken humor.

He has insomnia and that’s why he falls asleep midst in missions so easily. Also he cannonically wakes up in the middle of the night to go do his thing while everyone’s sleeping. Like he sneaks out.

He smells like an ashy campfire with salt. Yeah.

I like to think his room smells like mint because mint scents actually help ward off spiders. Fun fact.

His uniform! I always draw him wearing an oversized one with the sleeves rolled up and there’s a reason for this and part of it is me self reflecting: he has sensory issues to tight fitting clothing, so he got a big shirt and he rolls up the sleeves just cause I feel like that fits him. Same goes for his pants.

He’s lost so much feeling in his tail. That tail has been smashed, stung, bitten, pulled, etc so many times. He’s just. Lost so much feeling in it.

Much like the barnacles headcannon: has a lot of scars but fur covers over a lot of it. Slightly different texture in areas though.

I like to think that the huge closet he has is also his de-stimulation room/area for when having overstimulation :)

He stims a lot. Like. A lot. Both verbal and physical.

Him and Tweak are best friends.

And Ik I said this in Barnacles one but him and Barnacles have a very much found brother relationship and have a little support system for mental health.

He’d be a really good dad. He’s canonically very good with kids and very protective around em

Actually has pretty low self esteem/confidence. He’s just loud. He reminds me of a very specific scene in LMK where wukong and MK are talking and Wukong goes “you need confidence” and MK just defends himself like “WHAT IVE GOT PLENTY CONFIDENCE!” And Wukong just goes “no you’re just loud.” And then MK just looks personally attacked and Wukong is trying to give him advice on how to get it and MK just replies with “fake it till I make it?” And Wukong just yells at him.

Anyways Kwazii reminds me of that scene in MK’s POV I don’t even know if that made sense but yeah.

So yk how earlier I talked abt eyes, ok so not exactly a Kwazii one but I like to think that the reason all the pirate stories are over exaggerated or close but off is cause once again: cats can’t see well. And all the pirates we’ve seen/have been referred to have been cats.

Is both a positive influence. And a chaotic one.

Mans would end up in the sick bay at like 4 AM.

They give me the vibes of someone who survives off of 2 hours of sleep, caffeine and pure chaos and the second he sits down he can and will crash.

Has really bad abandonment issues. Uh. Yeah.

Rejection dysphoria and anxiety. Cause me too.

Ok listen a lot of these are just me self projecting.

And now that I’m here I’m thinking I wanna add more to the barnacles one so. There should be more there if you guys wanna go see that. Yeah

Anyways.

Has probably bitten some of the crew.

He’s probably used very pirate-y terms to describe people and NO ONE on the crew know what he’s talking about so he has to translate. Like he’d say somethin like “He’s a Scrooge of the seven seas!” And the crew just looks confused and he just goes “he’s really violent.”

Speaking of pirate terms- I like to think he’s called inkling the quartermaster and Barnacles a coxswain :)

yeah.

I got these from dis website: https://www.pirateglossary.com/namecalling

Also some of these terms do point to suggestive topics so you’ve been warned prior to looking.

Anyways, he likes drawing and painting :) I say this cause he painted the gup B and. Yeah.

I like to think he knows how to flirt but it’s a very silly/dorky way. /pos I mean he CAN. Be smooth but. I like silly.

Angry catboy.

I definitely have more. But I am bombarding this post and I feel like most of you have stopped listening by now so uh. Yeah.

Anyways Here’s a doodle I made of him a bit ago :) he has a neck.

Bye byeee

[dragon-kazansky]

The backseat | Helmut Zemo

Requested by ✨ Zemo's Hoe ✨

Smut~

You have no idea why he had invited you to his garage. It's not that you weren't impressed by the old cars that had been passed down his family. They were all very impressive. You had seen them before.

Zemo hadn't given you much information prior to inviting you here.

You stood inside, waiting. You couldn't see him and he hadn't responded when you called for him, so you assumed he wasn't here.

You looked around. His collection was super cool. Cars now don't look nearly as classy as some of the ones he has in here. You peek into a few windows, gazing at the interiors. Some of them had plenty of room in the back.

"I wonder how comfortable it would be," you mumble to yourself.

You'd let Zemo have you in the back of one of them. It would be pretty sexy doing it in the back of one of his beloved cars.

You were about to open the door and sit inside when you felt a hand on your back. Startled you spun around, only to find the man of the hour looking at you with a smug grin.

"Zemo, my God, you scared me."

"Apologies. What were you doing?"

"Waiting for you. The least I could do was wait in one of your cars. Why are we here?"

"I thought we could go for a drive."

"You couldn't have said that over the phone?"

"Where's the fun if I tell you all my ideas?" He looks so smug. You could kiss that grin right off his face. Maybe you would.

Zemo looks into the car. The backseat was empty, nothing much to look at.

"Did you want to go in this one?" He asks, hand gesturing to the door.

"I had other ideas."

He smirks, "oh?"

You grab the lapels of his coat lightly, eyes running up and down his form. You stop when you reach his eyes again.

"I've never done it in a car before."

"Perhaps your idea is better than mine," he chuckles deeply.

You give a cheeky grin as you push his coat off his shoulders and climb into the back of the car. Zemo laughs with deep joy as he climbs in after you, but only about half way. He wastes no time in exposing your legs.

"Don't act too keen, blimey!"

Zemo laughs again.

"I want to taste you before we do anything else." His gloved hands stroke along each leg, you watch the way they glide across your skin, teasing you. He parts your legs at the knees, pushing them gently. You're doing most of the work.

"Zemo."

A growl, deep and sexy, leaves his mouth. He leans down, head between your legs. Kisses are pressed along the inside of your thigh. His nose nearly presses into your entrance as he gets closer. His hot breath fans against you and you can't help watching your back. You were eager for him to touch you more. Preferably with his tongue.

Your prayers are soon answered.

He teases you with it. Barely poking at you. He wants you to squirm. You clutch at the leather seats.

"Zemo."

You feel his chuckle against your skin. The warmth it provides comes in little bursts. There is nothing for a moment, but he's still down there. You ponder what he could possibly be doing, but then you feel it. Hot and wet. His tongue licks flat against your entrance.

Now you were squirming.

He does again. And again. And again. Then he stops.

You look to find him looking at you with lustful eyes. He licks his lips deliberately slow. Your glaring at him has no effect. He lifts one hand to his mouth, taking the leather of one finger between his teeth, and slowly pulls it off his hand.

You bite your power lip.

He allows the glove to fall from his mouth and onto the seat below him. His bare hand returns to your leg, his skin warm. You can feel it as he trails his fingers along your thigh and toward your entrance.

One finer. Slowly. The way he curls it as it enters you has all kind of noises coming out of you. It goes in all the way, then he draws it out again, just as slow. Back in. Back out.

"Zemo."

He laughs at your pathetic warning tone. Looking you in the eye, he inserts another finger. You gasp sharply. He's playing games with you. He curls them both.

"Feel good?"

"I'll tell you what would feel good," you hiss, unable to resist grinding yourself against his touch.

"You want to go straight to the main event?"

You glare at him. He knows you do. You can only take so much of his games.

"If you think you can handle it, then who am I to deny you, my love." His fingers pull out of you swiftly, leaving you feeling rather empty.

You look up at the loss of his touch.

His fingers make quick work of his belt buckle. He looks you in the eye as he exposes himself, grinning smugly at you.

You tilt your head back.

"Come on then, give it to me."

Zemo crawls over the seat until he is right above you. His brushes his nose with yours as he nips at your lower lip.

"Impatience doesn't suit you," he whispers.

You let out a little growl.

"Then give me what I want."

He does so. Not so softly either. His sharp entry sends your whole body jerking back slightly. He smirks against your lips as he comes in for a kiss.

"You take me so well."

You kiss him again.

"I always do," you whisper.

That really sets him off. Gentle doesn't exist in this moment. You grip onto the car seats as best as you can as he thrusts into you with such demand.

You place one hand on his shoulder, looking into his eyes. Those eyes seemed all the more darker in the low light of the car.

His chuckle sounded so deep in your ear.

You hook your leg over his hip and pull him down a bit more. At this angle he hits you really where you needed him to. You're quick to kiss him again.

It was an adventure having sex in the back of one of his cars. It felt good. So good.

Zemo leans down to nibble at your earlobe. His breath fans against your skin. He kisses your neck seductively.

You're practically melting under him.

Every thrust, hip roll, grab, kiss and nibble are done deliberately and in a way that really sets you off.

You release the seats in favour of holding him. He rewards you with more kisses as he picks up the pace a little. All you can feel is him.

You claw at his back as the pressure builds.

He pushes into as far as he can physically go. You're so warm, so tight, so very wet. All his.

"I can't hold on... much longer."

He chuckles in your ear.

"Then let go."

Your hold on him tightens as he amps it up. You close your eyes, feeling every inch of him.

Then you let go.

He's right behind you. You curl your toes, grip at his sweater, moan right into his ear. His hands cradle around you as he empties into you, lips meet your neck in soft kisses.

Even after you're both utterly spent, you stay like that for a while. Just the sound of each others breathing.

He smiles against your neck.

"If you pull out, we'll make a mess in your car," you mutter.

"Yes, but as much as I like this position, I can't stay here," he chuckles.

"Shame."

"We shall have to risk a messy seat. I think we have had enough fun today. Allow me to take you home?" He kisses your temple.

"Sounds fair to me."

He pulls out of you. Once again you're left feeling rather empty, but it doesn't last long. Zemo helps you out of the car and wraps you in his coat. It smells of him. You tug it around you and inhale that delicious scent.

He chuckles softly at you as he cleans up the mess you both left. Once he's done he opens the passenger door for you. Only when you're securely inside does he make his way to the driver's side.

"We should do that again," you look at him.

"Perhaps we will."

"Different car?" You ask.

"Naturally. I'll have you in everyone of them if you want to."

You nibble at your lip with a grin.

"Tempting~"

He laughs a little as he places one hand on your knee, drawing shapes mindlessly against it.

You smiled softly and turned your gaze out of the window, ready for home.

You looked forward to doing this again.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406