#Make sense and influence something not to be half assed cuz i really like the game 😭

[enjomo-arch]

I wasn't satisfied with how I worded my HSR verse previously so I gotta make some changes to it so it makes a bit more sense big thanks to my beloved @renjisei for exercising the braincell around it.

Pre - orphanage Ace lost his whole family to the ever present winter. He was just a kid and so all the way until growing up he wished to make the last wish he heard come true. To bring sunlight down to the Underworld so people can bathe in it.

After leaving the orphanage and growing up Ace started to live on his own as a thief but he didn't steal from people in the underworld, he kept stealing things from the people above to bring it down to the kids and families suffering. Ace anonymously did help maintaining the mines until he went low profile for a long while due to being a wanted criminal.

He was one out of two people who knew how to get a way to the upper world.

All Ace ever wanted is to get answers why are people forced to live like this, why the Underworld has no rights to see the sky and sunlight, why the ever winter is a thing and why can't he do anything about it. He prepared for years to finally be able to break into the Qilpoh Fort and get all the answers so he can bring the light down again.

In truth Ace did help the nameless upon arrival in the underground when he could. He might've looked shady for a first glance but Ace is pretty kind. He offered his help willingly.

at the very end, after learning everything and seeing the climax of the situation he decided to leave along with the express. He did what he promised to, people from the underground could see the sunlight again and that's all he ever wanted to achieve. He decided to go and join the rest in adventures.

This is unrelated but Ace loves pom pom he spends so much time with the little conductor.

[i-want-all-the-cookies]

Weak Hero thoughts, rants, and spoilers for chapters 263 to current.

Sorry if this gets lengthy, but I got some feelings to express.

So, I gave myself a few days to process my thoughts and emotions on the conclusion of Weak Hero. To try and make sense of the direction the author decided to take his story on. And honestly, I'm still left feeling let down and disappointed.

In my opinion, one of the greatest slights an author can do to their fanbase and to their work, especially if it's a lengthy story, is to end the story abruptly. To me that is the equivalent to a slap in the face. A big slap to all the fans who have invested their time, energy, and possibly even money to the story the author has been creating. Years of tuning in and refreshing pages, only for the ending to feel so damn rushed.

I was really holding out for a small sliver of hope, I wanted to "trust the process." Maybe there would be an introduction to an amazing plot twist, or a great revelation to understand and explain why the storyline turned into what it did. But at this point, with only the epilogue left, none of that is gonna probably happen, and I'm left wondering why?

I've even wondered if the kdrama had any influence on how Weak Hero ended. Would it have been different if the kdrama never existed? Did Seopass just get tired of his story and the characters, maybe he wanted to move on to something else already? Cuz any which way that I try to look at it, I just can't comprehend why he chose that ending. Especially for Donald. One of the most charismatic characters in the series. The final boss, who possessed both brains and unmatched brute strength. A master strategist who managed to unite a whole district. A literal unbeatable character.... who he gets done in by a wayward truck!?! Right after the biggest fight in the series!?! Like, are you for fucking real? That's how his demise happens?!!?

I'm not even a Donald fan! He was never my fave (that honor always went to Jimmy ❤️), but even I expected more for him. Donald didn't even go down swinging, kicking, barely hanging on by the skin of his teeth. His death happening in the same way he lived his life, like some sort of poetic justice. No. We got none of that. Instead, we get a self defeated Donald, who was reaching out to the universe for someone to stop him, and who purposefully? didn't avoid the truck???

I'm sorry but no, DONALD DESERVED BETTER!!! HE, AS A CHARACTER, DESERVED BETTER!!!!

AND THEN, we get thrown some pity crumbs at the end with Stephen. Which to me was just another rushed ending. We get some half assed reunion. No backstory on what Stephen had to go through. No idea what his thoughts were while recovering from his near fatal drop. Did he ever think of Gray? Did he ever try looking for him?

Was I the only one that expected more from Stephen and Gray's reunion??? I can't be the only one completely disappointed, or am I?

I am however grateful we got to see Stephen again, I really am, and that we got a conclusion for him. Since it didn't happen with some of the other plotlines.

For instance, what happened to the Mapo guys, and Changhui saying they were going to wait for an opportunity to strike back? Am I the only one that remembers this?

And where the capital F was Wolf's backstory? He's a fan favorites and we get nothing? No idea on why he's a such a psycho or the reasoning behind his 3 second rule? Or even why he has it out for Grape so much?

And let's not forget about this guy! He never even got a name!

There's more, but I'm not gonna go into all of that right now since I don't want to just trash this series. I fell in love with it for a reason, and now I want to talk about the parts that I enjoyed, and that made me remember why I  loved this series so much in the first place.

Like...

The fact that Jimmy wanted Donald's recognition. Even after talking crap about him every chance he got~ lol. He still valued him as a capable leader and cared about how Donald perceived him.

And how Jimmy's signature wrist swish was influenced by Donald!!! I would have never in a million years thought that Donald was the reason and inspiration for it.

And I absolutely loved how Jimmy and Wolf were bickering at the end. It completely reminded me of siblings arguing with each other at any and every opportunity! I know there's gotta be some underlying respect and friendship for each other there, waaay deep inside, somewhere in a dark crevice of their little crazy hearts. 😆

And cuz I want to gloat too, I'm gonna add Jimmy whooping Gerard's butt. Take that shuttle patch!

I was also pretty surprised by how distraught Phillip became after Donald's death. Especially considering that the last time Phillip had any real interaction with him, Donald pretty much blew him off. Phillip not being important enough for even a backwards glance. For Phillip to still remember what it was like standing next to someone like Donald, and to have all those emotions come out of him just broke my heart.

And I am not about to forget my lovely Colton! Our very first villain. Pervy villain at that! And how much growth he's had, even as a secondary character. I went from feeling disgusted at him to wanting to give him all the hugs and support in the world.

I love you Colton you big doof! 🫶

And with that last thought I end this. Because as much as I hate the ending, I can go on and on about the things that I did like.

[sir-huffman]

tagged by: @songzhong​ (hello, here’s a wall of text, and I enjoyed reading about you Mao!) tagging: @you on the dash - aka you see this you’re tagged.

———  BASICS!​

Name: Duke ( any pronouns, but most use masculine  )

Face Claims:       - Itsuki Kamiyama from GOTH (professional like above)       - Suga from Night of Drizzling Rain (general)

———  THREE  FACTS!

1) I am an ISTJ and a Taurus...so take that what you will. I’d like to say I’m friendly, but tend to put a very large wall (of text) up so people know what they’re getting into with me and to give an explanation for my actions...as such I am very introverted and only have so much energy for interaction. This leaves me seldom to contact people in the RPC unless I have a specific idea in mind for our muses...which honestly I never do. The best is for me to just chuck a meme at people and see how our muses vibe. After that, well uh...yeah. I’m one of those RPers who have more people I interact IC than OOC cuz OOC interaction takes a lot out of me unless we somehow vibe well.

And by vibe well, I mean our muses generally interact well and aren’t apathetic towards each other. There are so many muns that I respect and consider friends and admire from afar, but we’re not close due to just our muses just not vibing as well as others (which is totes fine it’s just how things sometimes go, ya know?).

( you’ll find that I write a lot hence the read more )

2) I am very stubborn and have a little bit of tunnel vision in my own HCs and world crafting. My muses tend to be people who hold an authoritative and demanding presence where their opinions are stated as truth...which is the complete opposite of my own personality. But I’ve learned that I have to kinda draw my lines and I feel like I can probably give people whiplash between my timid and nervous nature and when it comes to defining my muses. Honestly I’m just very flexible with molding my muses to help fit for interaction, but I do have hard lines and like to make it clear if I’m bending my characters vs how they would naturally act...I tend to make my muses push overs unless I’m like 100% comfy...and even them I make them push overs...hence the amount of my crack threads because I have no sense control and just wanna have fun...with my tight assed muses.

3) That said...I’m just a meme. My main reputation is just being that one mun who RPs a Team Rocket OC with 6 Magikarps. But I truly just have two sides. The very crackish side where (1) I’ll just throw our muses in ridiculous situations and (2) the very angst heavy side that usually only talked about due to my muses handling trauma and very apathetic and nonchalant towards breaking hearts. And as I write this out I feel like I’m giving people whiplash on whoever is reading this since they see Huffman here and is like “oh, how cute what a soft boy” and then I bring up Morax who is just a monstrosity of a muse where I’m toning him down 99% of the time because...well...(*looks at hands*) he’ll end up killing a muse 99% of the time if I don’t stop him and that isn’t fun to RP.

———  EXPERIENCE!

My first experience in RPing in general was on an old website called TinierMe and also a mobile app called VampiresLIVE (lol). However I officially started RPing on Tumblr in 2014 as a Gijinka!Groudon blog originally known as theruleroftheland. After that I’ve slowly branched out of the Pokemon RPC but hold a strong connection with the friends I’ve made there (or kinda, I’m horrible at keeping contact with others since I disappear for months/years at a time). But I’ve found I’m most comfortable writing on tumblr due to the amount of formatting and organization that comes with RPing on here.

I’m slowly branching out to Discord (thank you to my dear RP partners over there who are patient with me because I’m slow) and becoming more accustom with being social over there.

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE!

Gender: 100% male to RP as. I find that I gravitate towards males since I have disconnection with male muses from myself and I like having that wall. Writing females get a little too personal for my own comfort so having that extra layer of distance really helps. Also it helps me look at things differently.

Multi or Single: 

I prefer single-muse blogs to run as I like keeping things strictly relating to my muse on one blog and another muse on another. Over the years I’ve been interested in throwing my old muses onto a multi-muse blog but honestly I can never bring myself making a multi-fandom multi-muse blog due to my own heavy need for organization.

As for shipping, I work under what I call a Quasi-Single shipping (aka multi- and single- ship). I operate under the impression that my muses are in an overarching timeline of their life that is heavily affected by their relationships. As such the MULTISHIP aspect is prone to have cheating and relationship overlap. I’m into having muses naturally engage in threesomes, foursomes, lying, cheating, misunderstandings, fights, break ups, get back togethers, etc. with all muses and muns participating together in the joy of it all. Jealousy and questioning of my muses’ relationships and actions are welcomed as I like having the sense that my muses are human and things aren’t so cookie cutter.

That said I am also SINGLESHIP in the sense that most of my muses are not polyamorous and are very much interested in having an end goal relationship where they settle down and marry. With who and how that happens really depends on both my muse and my partner’s muse. So whoever my muse is really shooting to get married to and actively advances will be my main single ship partner...or really whoever is going to influence my muse the most and I can see my muse actually yearning for (which honestly isn’t that many muses *cries*).

That said...Huffman in particular is going to be really hard to single-ship with as he is 100% dedicated his entire life to his lord and savior Lord Barbatos and this is the thanks he gets to Mondstadt and he will betray his own lover and such for Mondstadt.

He is also a(ego)romantic so he has a huge disconnection with serious relationships as he will honestly treat them just like he treats every other citizen in Mondstadt and it can slowly get to any of his partners since he just thinks is just apart of his job as a partner...which is the same job he has with the people of Mondstadt.

fluff/angst/smut:

Fluff: Generally I don’t find myself interested in fluff, but I realized that is only because of my previous muses couldn’t handle fluff at all. For this particular blog (Huffman) fluff is honestly the only thing that I can offer due to the nature of his character. Fluff with the undertone of angst is going to happen a lot, it’s not going to be sugary sweet fluff but just a result of Huffman’s very grounded and relaxed nature. He is calm and level headed, very rational (a little too rational) and very determined to make sure everyone is happy...and as such angst won’t really happen because Huffman tries to avoid such things naturally.

Angst: I enjoy angst, I’m that person who loves crying and my favorite tropes (especially in shipping) is unrequited love especially when it’s with a character who has so much love and dedication to one person. As such, I find that I’m more inclined to talk about angst than actually RPing it. I’m very slow (really really slow) when it comes to RPing unless it’s crack or relaxed banter. So when it comes to angst, I like to set time aside and fully write it out...making me having to respond weeks to months later...haha sorry. Also I naturally have muses who are apathetic towards angst and other muses feelings that is hard for me to write because I’m the opposite and I get heavily invested...it takes a lot out of me.

That said...most of my angst comes from very slow burns rather than actually writing it out. It’s more of the anticipation of the heartache, breakup, betrayal, cheating, etc. that I’m more inclined to talk about than actually RP...as stated above my muses are generally cold hearted and very accepting of any consequence to their actions...they tend to be planners and expect karma to creep up on them someday.

Smut: I am very particular about smut. I personally like talking about it but actually writing it takes a lot more time for me to do. There are some words that I refuse to write (which happens to be a lot of the smutty words lol) due to how I read them in my head irks me and doesn’t flow right (my worst subject in school was English so I don’t know many words okay). As such, it takes time for me to fully write smut and even then the way I tackle it is very action oriented rather than immersive (I like to think) so uh...RIP my rp partners who want to write smut since I usually respond when I’m half asleep and have no filter and probably stare at me like “wtf did I just read?”. I’m sorry my smut partners who have to deal with me.

plot/ memes:

Memes: I’m more inclined to send memes than actually get around to responding to them. I like keeping my thread count low because I’m slow and usually memes require immediate interaction (something that I may or may not have the time for). However, most of my threads come from memes that will fizzle out over time and I eventually drop without warning- it just how it goes.

Plots: I like plotting and defining pre-established relationships. Having to start everyone off with a blank slate isn’t something I like unless it just seems natural for our muses (ie. for Huffman he probs doesn’t know many Liyue characters, but he definitely is close to Mondstadt characters at least on a name basis). As such, I tend to like establishing relationships and then going from there so I know how Huffman will interact with them.

Plotted threads, however, take a lot out of me as I like coining an idea and then having a starter be written and then go from there. If there are checkpoints to happen, I get awkward because my muses are 95% certain to shift the narrative based on what is being written and the situation that arises. So heavily plotted threads isn’t good, but defining the trajectory of a relationship is something I’m down for...mostly because I’m a quasi-single ship and 99% of my muses relationships are going to fail naturally - which is something hard to bring up when there is ship talking happen.

[hhuta]

(3D lbqfm anon) y'know after reading ur post on it i realized i a) subconsciously noticed the de-gaying and that's probably why i didn't like it and b) somehow didn't notice ANY changes despite the fact that I watched the two versions less than a week apart,,, i thought it was just the new cravat (tho i still don't like it. the old one was better) | also,,,, is it too much trouble to ask why u don't like the 3D assassymphonie? guessing smtg to do w the women | also ur opinion on 3D vaec?

where do i start with miss l'assasymphonie.. btw u can watch the video of the two versions side by side here. and my rant got wayyy too long so ill talk about VAEC in another post ldkjasl

tw: self harm/suicide mention just to be safe

im going to start with minor differences that make me prefer the 2010 version but not hate the 2011 one

first of all his dramatic soft gay sappy ass touching his heart when talking about mozarts music i like that a lot :(

then when he sings "killing out of spite everything i create" he metaphorically stabs himself in 2010 but not in 2011

and i love the first version because its a nice and subtle parallel between how mozarts music makes him feel like (lbqfm) vs how his own music affects him (l'assasymphonie) as i pointed out here before. this is on different levels !! the fact that in lbqfm its his inner gay demon stabbing him, representing mozart(s music) and in l'assasymphonie he stabs himself..... bc he is killing what he creates and what he creates is part of himself... so this isnt about him wanting to kill mozart its about him being self destructive... this is crazy this is just one gesture and i can go on and on about it and honestly my rant will only get more insane.

later he grabs the knife at different moments and in different ways and i think the 2010 version is more dramatic and impactful. the editing helps too, it really made me jump, its all done at the right time. but honestly both are valid to me; i feel like in 2010 hes more angry and impulsive, like its the very first time he thinks about doing something like this, whereas in 2011 he feels sad and defeated, like hes going back to a place he fought very hard to get out of and because of this one guy hes back there, but in the end he recognises its his own fault

another minor difference that i think is worth mentioning, and honestly i like both versions, is what he does at the "senseless (or crazy) symphony" part. in 2010 he almost covers his ears cuz obviously it goes along with the lyrics in a literal sense. meanwhile in 2011 its more of a symbolic interpretation? idk how to word it but 2010 feels like hes just talking about his music and the thoughts inside his head making no sense, but in 2011 when he looks at his writs, his veins, its like he is talking about himself as a whole; a being without any meaning, who is losing his mind, and i like that too

and this difference goes on when he talks about the "disconcerting concert"; 2010 feels like hes literally listening to it around him, his performance in 2010 is overall more dramatic lkjslkd, meanwhile theres none of that in 2011, hes too melancholic to be jumping around

here when hes talking about his talent (or rather lack of) u can see how hes more angry in 2010 and sad in 2011 (honestly this corroborates my theory that at the beginning florent played salieri as a legit evil villain but as it went on he added more depth)

anyways so far both versions are good to me now........ the fucking dancers............... i move away from the mic to breathe in.jpg

theres just. so fucking much going on in 2011. there are a shit ton of people moving around, the flashing lights, the constant zoom in and out, the curtains moving the background, im gonna have a stroke????? l'assasymphonie is such a heavy song, emotionally, and florents performance is amazing on its on theres no fucking need to add 100 more elements!??!? it totally takes away ur focus from salieri ....

my biggest problem is with the dancers as u guessed it cuz honestly idk why they are there, i dont understand the need. i get that they are his inner demons, but not the sexy ones, so they are there to represent his inner turmoil and add a chaos element to the performance and a parallel to lbqfm with the whole hands on salieri part, but its way to obvious that it becomes repetitive! inner demons dancing around a character happens way too much on mor; bim bam boum in a way, j'accuse mon pere, la mascarade, comedie-tragedie, si je defaille, lbqfm and now again?!!?!?!?! bitihc dlajsdlkas

and the worst fucking part to me is when salieri goes to kill the female dancer

.....why whY... WHY.. why make the song literal like this!!! this is not what its about??!?! i know she isnt supposed to be A Person, this isnt him being A Murderer, she is him in a way but ?? we already saw him almost killing himself??!!? why repeat that, this is just so unnecessary and it doesnt sit right with me why make him stab a woman!! it makes my blood boil. it takes away all the drama from the other scene, of him with the knife on his wrist, because it is essentially the same!

now lets discuss why i prefer the lost half naked blindfolded men. is it because its gay? yes. is it because of the kinky element? yes. u see how that creates a parallel to lbqfm but in a subtle way? yes thank you.

to elaborate i feel like the 2010 dancers represent his psyche at the moment soooo much better. its not just simply his inner demons haunting him again, making it repetitive.

his is how i interpret it and how it relates to salieri:

the blindfold: god it can mean so much... above all i think its his envy and anger blinding him, making him feel lost and afraid. but it can also represent how salieri is a stern man, he only sees things one way and is blinded to other possibilities, other ways of living. because he is so narrow minded, so used to just following the status quo, he doesnt understand mozart and how his carefree way of life is working for him. he doesnt understand his conflicted feelings towards mozart. he doesnt understand how mozarts music can be so unconventional and yet beautiful, etc etc. his world was shattered and he feels lost because of this one little guy

but honestly i think the intention was to give a shoutout to amadeus lmao which is still cool. they do mention in MOR that mozart can play blindfolded so u can view as a parallel to that too

the lack of clothes: around mozart salieri feels naked but not in a sexy and fun way, in vulnerable and seen for the first time way. imagine how strongly he considered changing his name and moving countries after the whole eh bien, maestro? trop de notes? ordeal..... he was caught off guard in that situation so he let the truth out way too much, but he knows he cant fake it around mozart any other time either

their behaviour: they look afraid, lost, in pain and are constantly falling, getting up, then falling again and being pushed up against the wall by something invisible (to me its mozarts music/influence) and honestly i dont have to say anything else ! its all there !!! it represents salieris emotions perfectly !!!!!

in summary, to me the 2010 dancers dont have a lot to do with the lyrics of the song and i think thats good. they are there to add a new element to it, to let us see inside salieris head, while salieri himself is performing what the lyrics are about. so on the other hand i think the 2011 dancers are repetitive and unnecessary, not adding anything new to the performance

[delmondo]

I PUT TOGETHER AN ED MOTTA PLAYLIST!!!

hi.

everyone probably knows this by now, but i’m completely engrossed in ed motta’s entire discography. who is ed motta? he is a brazillian musician who, to generalize, specializes mostly in soul, funk, and jazz (fusion). he is the nephew of arguably the biggest, most (in)famous brazillian soul musician who ever lived and died: tim maia.

he also did the brazillian adaptation of the soundtrack for disney’s tarzan. a task he was definitely up to doing, which, i think speaks to his expertise.

there’s a lot i want to say about ed’s music. i’ll save that for another time, but if it means anything, steely dan is one of his #1 influences and it really shows. though his roots lie in those aforementioned subgenres, he’s fairly adventurous and isn’t afraid to fuse their intricacies and trappings with some of the musical trends of the decade.

i really do think that there’s something in his discography to like for most everyone who “likes music”. below is a pastebin link with short, respective blurbs about the “feel” of a song, the name, the album in which it appears, a link to a youtube upload of the song, and sometimes, a short note.

https://pastebin.com/4tZb5hj9

just in case the pastebin link expires (this entire site might just expire before some pastebin links do), here it is in its entirety under the cut

(sorry mobile users!!!)

ULTIMATE ED MOTTA PLAYLIST!!!!!

(note: idk how right i am about the genres of some of these)

BONUS: ONE ENTIRE HOUR AND A HALF OF ED MOTTA:

Name: Ed Motta em DVD (Ao Vivo)

Album: Ed Motta em DVD (Ao Vivo) (2007)

Link: https://youtu.be/-zKQUea2flo

Note: put this on in da background if you want to get a good idea of what this mfers music is like

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE SONG:

Name: Entre e Ouca

Album:  Entre e Ouca (1992)

Link: https://youtu.be/wHb9jtZq8GQ

sexy slow song:

Name: Minha Casa, Minha Cama, Minha Mesa

Album: Poptical (2003)

Link: https://youtu.be/ddFDjDgDhMY

'80s groove:

Name: Ja!

Album: Um Contrato com Deus (1990)

Link: https://youtu.be/PAzcWPhJHSI

Note: they didn't quite leave da '80s behind in the early '90s yet. grouping stylistic and musical trends by decade is arbitrary anyway.

adult contemporary:

Name: Samurai

Album: Djavan Songbook Vol. 1 (1997)

Link: https://youtu.be/jGufl0-h1WM

Note: this is actually a reharmonization/arrangement of a song called "Samurai" by Djavan (another popular Brazillian musician) originally released in 1982

smoky loungy jazzy:

Name: Guezagui

Album: Aystelum (2005)

Link: https://youtu.be/p7gd8p95rao

Note: this sounds like smth Shoji Meguro would make for Shin Megami Tensei

neo-bop?:

Name: Amalgasantos

Album: Dwitza (2002)

Link: https://youtu.be/yuSZBo0DRNY

Note: this song and "Um Dom pra Salvador" off the same album are very similar in feel

steely dan type beat:

Name: Smile (Live, Busseto, Italy)

Album: AOR (2013)

Link: https://youtu.be/LCJXbtrbHg4

Note: this starts out with some chords the exact same way Deacon Blues does. the influence is undeniable. also i gave u the live version cuz the piano solo rips FUCKING ASS IT'S SO GOOD

mid-'90s spacejam shit:

Name: Birinaite

Album: Manual Pratico para Festas Bailes e Afins Vol. 1 (1997)

Link: https://youtu.be/KRGEoLXhsdY

uplifting major key dance tune:

Name: Colombina

Album: As Segundas Intencoes (2000)

Link: https://youtu.be/7yI_CEvof0w

Note: the music video for this is cute as fuck

steely dan if they did a noir soundtrack and had a brazillian dude sing on it:

Name: The Tiki's Broken There

Album: Criterion of the Senses (2018)

Link: https://youtu.be/0kLOV39fHBE

y2k funk:

Name: Tem Espaco na Van

Album: Poptical (2003)

Link: https://youtu.be/uWi36sMebsc

[pr-ay-the-gay-away]

Have you seen the miseducation of Cameron post? Cuz if you haven’t I highly recommend it, it’s probably one of my all time favorite films now.

I have. I didn’t know what to expect - I hadn’t read the book, had no idea what it was about other than the fact that she gets sent to conversation “therapy”.

I’m gonna talk about my thoughts on it - spoilers y’all.

One of the key things that really impacted me when I watched the film was the depiction of WLW intimacy. More on this in a second.

The 90s setting also hit me pretty hard, because that era just felt so relatable (even if the social setting wasn’t entirely). Like I look at teenagers nowadays and I’m blown away by the representation available to them on screens and in media, and also the kinds of conversations kids/teenagers/young adults are having about tolerance and acceptance and inclusionary language.

I grew up in a fairly moderate/liberal society, yet casual or not so casual homophobia and deeply ingrained heteronormativity was just The Norm. You wouldn’t have felt comfortable “making a big deal” out of someone’s off-hand homophobic-light comment, because you wouldn’t have even recognized that it was wrong. You’d just feel this discomfort inside, like there’s something off, but you’re laughing because that’s how your shared social sense of humor has developed. And if you even thought that maybe it is wrong, you wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable or safe to call it out, because then attention would immediately be drawn to you, like “They didn’t mean it in an offensive way. Why are you so offended?” and then suspicion - when suspicion shouldn’t be the point of focus in the first place - would have then been cast on you.

Another key thing was just how relatable I found Chloe’s depiction of Cameron to be. Like her use of humor to deflect in uncomfortable or confronting situations. Her desire to avoid conflict and appease authority figures, even when she disagreed with them. The way she seemed pretty self-assured in herself in the beginning, but found herself sent to this camp, really made me wonder more about what her environment/upbringing was like. I was wondering “What were her parents like, were they more liberal than her aunt? Would she have been safe and never been sent to such a toxic institution had they remained alive?” (I’ve started reading the book and I totally get the impression that that could have been the case, but you’ll never really know, just like Cameron won’t) That’s actually really unlocked a new perspective for me. When I see anon asks about the homophobic/toxic situations and family environments they’re dealing with, seeing the contrast between Cameron’s kind of quiet self-assuredness in the very beginning compared to when she’s right in the middle of the toxic and abusive influences of the conversion camp, it really highlights how safety is so important for your emotional development and self-perception, and how a lack of safety can have a hugely negative impact.

I think at some point in the later part of the film I started to lose a sense of where it was going narratively - I just knew I wanted her to get out of there. Experiencing the toxicity of such manipulative abuse with Cameron, like when she was made to seriously consider that she was really just mistaking admiration for/jealousy of Coley for sexual attraction (yup, been there - also “obsessively jealous” Camren throwback joke y’all, which is just further evidence on how astroturfing/PR manipulation is abusive AF) or in the kitchen scene when she starts to question whether they’re wrong for resisting, because the abuse was wearing her down and she just wanted to go home. Like fuck.

Coming back to the depiction of WLW intimacy - I just haven’t seen WLW intimacy depicted on the screen in such a way where it really felt like its sole purpose was purely to share a visual expression of intimacy between women. Those scenes weren’t included or directed to titillate. They weren’t included to drive some climactic plot development, like some culmination of a “will they, won’t they” story where you’ve been wondering if all of that slow-burn underlying sexual tension through the first act of the film is going to pay off in some “big statement” love scene that solidifies the film as some groundbreaking queer cinema or something. It wasn’t “arthouse queer cinema featuring lesbians” with all the markers of having been directed by a man and having the unconscious application of the male gaze and the male fetishization of lesbians, to the point where it becomes erotica that gets uploaded to PornHub. Do y’all get what I mean? Like, the intimate scenes weren’t “Oh my god they’re hooking up, yes!” they were like “Oh my god, I’m… feeling what Cameron’s feeling. I love women. I adore them. I want to be with them”. When the sexual repression (and the tainted knowledge of Coley’s betrayal) culminates in a sex fantasy about her teacher, it’s like yeah. Your brain can’t help but be attracted to women. I get it. When Erin the Viking’s own sexual repression results in her spontaneously fucking Cameron and Cameron going with it - yup, sexual frustration ahoy. I get it.

I appreciate the film for bringing that kind of representation to the screen. And that’s just half of the Cameron Post story. There’s a whole other section to the story that just wasn’t in the film - everything before the camp. There’s a whole ass half of a book prior to the camp, her experience with figuring out her attraction to girls and her sexuality - formative stuff! I’m not too far into the book yet, but I agree with many a reviewer when they say that Emily M. Danforth’s writing style is absolutely beautiful. Without having finished it, would recommend it regardless.

[the-firebird69]

Watch "MGMT 'Kids' (Un)Official Video - Better Quality" on YouTube

They are located all over Sarasota

These two are singing because they saw plaques and they felt that Max destroyed the trees and then she said names and that they were gone and they wanted him to feel haunted and dejected and he started saying I could not feel more dejected than I already am and to add to it is sheer lunacy. And basically the max are causing you to feel dejected without hope it's not really the monstrous it's what they're doing with them and to them and for them and what they're doing is a plan and both sides make you feel that way but he says he's controlling them so I understand you want me to be haunted but you're not dead at all and I made the plaques. I also had them go up there and they're in character my son says so they can't really shake that easily I get off and said we know they're not dead I said you don't really have an idea if it is true or not I sent you up there just sing the song because I want them to be haunted and say they're gone and then say they're not and then say they're gone and then see what I did and they're going to puke all over the place this is assholes and I needed it is Max cuz they use you guys up it's true tons of macs were there dead.

So the two say they got it later cuz they did and they're smiling because it's against the max mostly but they started a war and we're in trouble and they won't get office and they won't leave us alone and now we're doing all this Avant garde stuff because these two big ouths and it's horrible are going to be ruined. And what you did is very gross and Olympus I'm going to hold you to it because some of our kids names are on it you say so what is that they're thinking that they're my kids and even going after my race and Dave's kids without Mercy saying you're his friend you can kiss my sweet ass you little nigger. I'm holding all your crimes against you and I'm going to bring them up to Olympus and ask for them to divulge them there's nobody says that s*** to me ever especially after I told you to find half the city to revive kids of mine that are trees that are really monsters your fruit you're on your mind you're insane this is not normal stuff you f****** piece of garbage where do you get off saying this stuff to someone who can wipe you out without trying you all running around saying stuff so now you can say stuff you're going to hold me to it you're going to be held to the letter of the law the letter of the law goes against Satanist no matter what you do because your religion and your way makes no sense try and keep that in mind when you getting torn to pieces because you're holding me to it.

All of a sudden see something this piece of s*** is up in your face all the time no he says I've killed more of my own kids than anyone else so I'm starting to see your point but the point is is Mac is having to do it and was you might not be in control now but he's the one who started and had to do it you're getting very uppity it's kind of stupid because you can white people out and we don't care cuz he started it I'm saying is not going to hold you to it means you're the one who's guilty of doing it.

So what

Now I understand the attitude what are you going to do go against the house here run right up against the chapa I understand that this is what I say if you ever kids were there and I'm pissed off about it and I can't shake it

BG says

Then we'll shake it for you you're probably encouraged to go there so can I ask around trying to get some Intel on it most of time when you have a s******* like that a death place like mental health for instance you ass wipe others are influencing people to put people there

Zues Hera

That's an answer I can use if there's any backup and I'm sure you'll find it this is about sacrifice and Corky's being sacrificed he needs to be doesn't he no gas for you no house for you no money for you it says it to you it says it to Max no machines no Jets no guns and he took the jet engines and put his piece of s*** rocket

Zues Hera

He blames me for that too trying to see something Brian you're so evil that he's going to get out of trouble on everything because he has to fight you and frankly I know that he's very evil to us and we have to hold him to it somehow but I don't know what to do some of our kids went in there that's probably because of mac and you and you're absurd you're having a free the trees you haven't free the state you're helping him block everybody off take everything get rid of the entire race or kind what is it with you to you idiots

Bg

We thought we had it under control well I actually had it partially under control and he ruined whatever control we had it's bja

Mac

It's true too but those are our kids down there we're going to need more evidence than you saying when I say is why don't you go get the evidence cuz I can't question these people and I can't ask him and there's some people who saw it happen and they're like foreigners and stuff and may have influenced it to happen is what Max will say I mean happily hand over people who are doing it happens in Africa you know they have Gators and they throw people over there and they lead them in and they haven't feed him and they get dragged In

Zues Hera

It is the same thing and nobody knows what your relationship is to these trees

Bg

Hahaha it is kind of funny what's your relationship to these trees sir well when I was young we helped make trees to make oxygen for the planet thank you very much Zeus

Lois

[phirephox666]

Weekly Fic Recs - POI

Wednesday has come around again and with it more fic recs. This week is Person of Interest, all Reese/Finch. There’s a few more recs this week cuz there wasn’t enough to split into two lists. Happy reading, y’all. 

Weekly Rec Lists

Sympathy for the Hellhound (and the Broken Winged Bird) by RyuuzaKochou

Reese/Finch, Supernatural Au, Bamf Reese, Bamf Finch, Angst, Humor, Complete, 24k

Finch surveyed the room again through his glasses, but it did not become any less overbright with harsh fluorescents, it did not become any less damp, cold, concreted, stuffy or stale, the chair he sat on became no less roughly wooden and he, alas, remained absolutely, totally naked.

Life choices, the grim voice of his common sense cut in. Think on them.

Two men meet under the most dire of circumstances and must rely on each other to survive - and rise. Inspired by Macx's superlative Firewall series, with a twist, and a twist, and a twist.

Blind Men and Elephants by KRyn

Reese/Finch, Humor, Complete, 24k

"It occurred to me that I have been remiss in offering you options in continuing education, Mr. Reese. Studies show that employees who are given the opportunity to sharpen their skills prove to be more content and successful in their chosen fields."

John stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to parse the reason this particular bug had gotten under his partner's skin at this--godawful early--hour. No answers were forthcoming from the textured surface, so he sat up, tossed back the covers, and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"I've already been to spy school, Finch."

The Most Important Meal of the Day by CaseyM

Reese/Finch, Complete, 12k

John rolled to his knees. And suddenly there was finely tailored wool right in front of him, navy with a slender gray stripe over a small but perfect ass, and Harold said, “Stay down. I’ve got this.”

John and Harold's relationship is complicated. Something as simple as coffee cake shouldn't lead to a breakthrough. But sometimes a little home cooking is all it takes.

Proximity by therienne

Reese & Finch, Friendship/Gen, Backstory, Complete, 9k

Sometimes intuition is just a form of higher reasoning we cannot yet parse.

Catch a Boat to England, Baby (Maybe to Spain) by leupagus

Reese/Finch, Pre-Canon Au, Different First Meeting, Complete, 4.3k

The car door opens and one of the soldiers slides in, almost braining Harold with the butt of his gun. "Sorry, sir," the soldier says, breathless, "I thought you were in the other car — but you weren't — so I had to jump out and—"

"Who are you?" Harold says, but the soldier's familiar; the tall one who'd looked embarrassed.

And who still looks embarrassed. "Oh. Sorry, sir. Um. John Harris. Private Harris? I'm your um, assigned unit. Sir.” He sticks out a hand.

Orbital Motion by callmecathy

Reese/Finch, Complete, 4.2k

John barely remembers what it is to be loved.

(In which some things come easily, others don't, and John thinks they're what Harold might call a 'work in progress'.)

Truth and Lies by TimelessDreamer2

Reese/Finch, Complete, 2.7k

When Finch told Reese, he would never lie to him, he meant it. Harold Finch cannot lie.

Far From the Tree by wonderble

Reese/Finch, Complete, 8.6k

Newton's law in the form of John, 9.81 m/s and gaining force until impact.

Or, Harold used to like apples. John pushes at meaningless boundaries.

Moving On by tiranog

Reese & Finch, Complete, 83k

John and Harold get a little more than they bargained for when they go out to dinner.

Blinded by the Light by tiranog

Reese/Finch, Complete, 11k

Sequel to Walking in the Dark. Mornings after are never what you expect them to be.

Part 1 of Walking in the Dark Series

Threads by KRyn

Reese/Finch, Complete, 26k

"When we were forced to abandon the Library, I managed to destroy any digital trace of our activities that might offer a means to track us, even in our new identities. Nonetheless, we left behind a treasure trove of clues that offered certain...investigatory options for Samaritan to pursue. I thought it best to keep an eye open."

In the fourth season opener, Greer queries Samaritan as to the status of its efforts to hunt down Finch and Company. The response--'ongoing.' "Threads" is a series of short stories, each chapter a stand-alone, exploring some of the ways Samaritan might attempt to draw our heroes out of hiding.

You don't like me (You just want the attention) by illuminatedcities

Reese/Finch, Tailor Finch, Project Runway Au, Crack, Complete, 3.8k

“You really think it’s that bad?” John asks, tugging at the sleeves of the pantsuit he’s been working on.

“What were you thinking, this hasn’t passed ‘bad’ all the way to ‘hideous’ yet, I’ll just put a fleece jacket over it and give it a final shove?” Shaw asks. 

Project Runway!AU.

The Raven of Odin by Dien

Reese/Finch, CIA Au, Spy Au, Complete, 8.2k

In an alternate universe, Nathan Ingram created IFT on his own, and his college friend joined the CIA instead....

The Warlord Prince of York by Azar

Reese/Finch, Reese & Finch & Carter, Black Jewels Au, Black Jewels Fusion, Complete, 18k

As the influence of Dorothea SaDiablo begins to spread through Terreile, Prince Harold Finch hatches a daring plan to save his home Territory of York. The only problem is, he'll need the help of York's most dangerous Warlord Prince to pull it off.

A Lifetime For A Day by eyeus

Reese/Finch, Bakery Au, Fluff, Complete, 9.3k

“Your Danishes appear dry, over-flaked, and uninspired,” the man informs him. “I don’t doubt the rest of your creations are in the same vein.”

John blinks. This is new; no one’s ever eviscerated him quite like this before.

Part 1 of Of Croquillants and Apple π

All I Know Is Flight by hedda62

Reese/Finch, Complete, 3.7k

Not that the Library is only a workplace. It has atmosphere and beauty and dust and shadows; it holds lingering echoes of lightning keystrokes and reluctant smiles; it's where he meant when he told Carter he wanted to go home. It's the place he works with Finch, and therefore it's like nowhere else in the world.

And now they have to leave it behind.

Miracle on 56th Street by thisstarvingartist

Reese/Finch, Fluff, Complete, 14k

The incoming Christmas season brings along with it a storm the likes of which New York City has never seen; snow stands over four feet high on every street corner, buildings two hundred stories high are invisible through the torrential downpour of snow and hail. Every business and company has been shut down for the foreseeable winter season; not a soul dares wander through the desolation.

Not one, aside from a man with a shovel and a rather cheerful Belgian Malinois.

(Or: The worst snow storm of the century lays waste to New York as Christmas season draws near, leaving its inhabitants stranded in their homes. Harold Finch suffers a severe bout of claustrophobia. John, as always, comes to the rescue.)

An Unstoppable Force by giandujakiss, iteration

Reese/Finch, Female Finch, Feelings, Complete, 28k

John is still trying to figure out this little mouse of a woman who’s hired him, who can do anything with computers and has more money than God and who can barely walk and yet somehow always manages to evade him, who won’t tell him anything about herself but who says she knows everything about him – and he knows that can’t be true, it can’t –

When he realizes, she’s actually attracted to him.

Snow Days by Jo (jmathieson)

Reese/Finch, Fluff, Snowed In, Friends to Love, Complete, 21k

During New York's 'Blizzard of the Century', Finch feels trapped in his own home. Reese and Bear walk across New York in the blizzard to come to Finch's rescue. New York is without power, so the machine is blind. At Finch's house, Finch and Reese talk, play chess, and talk some more. They each share some of their past, and some of their feelings.

A More Conventional Life by x_art

Reese/Finch, Kid Fic, Complete, 17k

Because children changed everything. They always had and they always would.

Discretion by JinkyO

Reese/Finch, Slice of Life, Friends to Lovers, Complete, 34k

After Finch and Reese are forced into hiding, Professor Whistler and Detective Riley try to make a life together.

An AU Canon Divergent imagining of the events between Season 3 and Season 4.

It's a Dog's Life by manic_intent

Reese/Finch, Fantasy Au, Complete, 9k

Six months, no yellow cape, and one and a half thankfully harmless gun accidents after, Harold and Nathan had settled into a routine. The Machine would send them a number, and Harold would try his damnedest to resolve it through a computer. Usually, this endeavour would end in failure, because despite the advent of technology, the idiocy of certain members of humanity was so fundamental that not even computers could provide any sort of real solution.

This meant that Nathan often had to intervene. Sometimes they hired help: which had worked out with varying degrees of disaster. Sometimes they tipped off the police. Sometimes Nathan and Harold ventured out, bickering all the time, and the success rate of this latter tactic was usually at around 24%. It also usually served to further erode Harold’s already falling opinion of humanity.

Machine Language by manic_intent

Reese/Finch, Cyborg Au, Sci Fi Au, Complete, 8k

Snow had rambled halfway through the brief before he realized that John wasn't paying him any attention: as he trailed off, Kara's gaze jumped from Snow to John, then to the inoffensive, quiet-looking middle-aged man who had followed Snow into the briefing room only to sit in a corner without a word.

"Something on your mind, Agent?" Snow asked irritably.

"Sorry, Mark," John drawled. "It's just that I've never seen a cybrid before."

Dangerous If Unbound by astolat

Reese/Finch, Finch & Ingram, Telepathy, Dom/Sub Au, Complete, 24k

The Texas sun beating down was merciless, almost a physical weight on his shoulders. John couldn't move even to change the angle: the collar was tight, the cuffs were tight, and the chains had been pulled to their limits.

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

Reese/Finch, Kid Fic, Complete, 15k

"We're not looking to make friends, Harold," John said. "We want our neighbors to classify us and then avoid us. Being the scandalous gay couple down the street is a good option."

Walking in the Dark by tiranog

Reese/Finch, Complete, 16k

Even superheroes get lonely. John Reese asks his enigmatic partner to accompany him to a ball game.

Technical Support by astolat

Reese/Finch, Different First Meeting, Complete, 14k

The IFT Plaza security team wasn't what John would have called the brightest stars in the firmament. (Written for the tech support AU prompt.)

Home Run by astolat

Reese/Finch, Backstory, Complete, 3k

They caught the 7 train heading to Flushing. Looking around at the crowd, dotted with caps and shirts and grown men wearing face paint, John raised an eyebrow. "I thought you weren't a Mets fan, Finch."

Harold blinked at him. "I'm not, Mr. Reese," he said.

Love And Marriage by astolat

Reese/Finch, Humor, Complete, 4.7k

"Harold," John said, "are you asking me to marry you for your money?"

"Well, Mr. Reese," Harold said, "given how much of it you've spent already, I don't really see how you can complain." 

[psyopmyself]

new nihilism ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (งツ)ว

all i really wanna do rn is buy a plane ticket to california get weed a bong cigs and take 80 chops on the beach get in the ocean actually be able to feel myself and then bring my high ass to the airport and fly home to caoimhe. i don’t have the energy or motivation to take a bath. today i realized i need to get a divorce. i’m getting a divorce. god turned into the devil. i need to cry for a moment. just let myself bleed. 

its not fair. i didn’t sign up for this and i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. i feel one morbid funeral home of a world right now and a part of me wishes i really wished to kill myself but i pretty much already fucking tried and i know too much about the universe and physics to think that i’m going to end up anywhere else other than Here if i do it myself. so let me fucking talk instead. dad. please. bring me to you. i hate it here. where are my people? i don’t know where jesus is. i am looking for him and i can’t see him fucking help me. i don’t want to be lonely. i am tired of only hearing my own voice and having god claim it as his and convincing myself that he has my voice. jesus. i can’t fucking find him anywhere just because god told me he conveniently hid him “everywhere”?? what kind of idea was that? smFh i’m going to let myself get what i want in this long ass lifetime i’m going to have because of technology and you don’t get a damn say in influencing that anymore.  i fucking hate you. i need to get out of this body somehow and the only ways i know don’t feel good enough. where is the mindless sex. i want to be fucked to death you liked that didn’t you you said that’s what will make me feel better but then i trusted you more than i trusted myself and lived in your world and guess what? there is nobody around to do the job i fucking hate this place. nobody is good in bed. i hate you. i hate you for making me do this. fuck you and fuck everything that is you. i don’t want you like this and i don’t know what to say to myself in a world where i let you live and when i look in the mirror all i see is beauty yet all i feel is anger that i am standing there alone. and i can’t see my other half of my heart my soul standing next to me cupping my face while i cup his and we are saying the exact same thing to each other. what was the point of that ambivalence? you’re stupid. so fuck you god. i’m over it. i am so officially done. i fucking loathe waiting and i am tired of getting strung along. you whore. i want a divorce. when is my time up?????? i want to “DIE” now but that doesn’t actually explain what i wanna do right now so you have failed and it is over. I am done. i need change and it needs to change me. me. come in me fucking come in me i hate this torture i hate it all. i am crying why aren’t you helping me you sit and watch and tell me to keep smiling because that will help but what the fuck am i supposed to say never the fucking less to think when i’ve smiled to the point that i can’t feel a single muscle in my body anymore nothing feels real with you i have been begging for lifetimes believing in you for somebody to touch me and nobody sees me. i hate being a fucking virgin like this. I literally move time. i don’t like keeping secret anymore. where am i and where are you? what am i? you keep telling me i need you to find out and i know thats a lie. i am so afraid. what do i do. i don’t want to be this close anymore. and i know you’re seeing me right now laughing, reading this, while i write this, and i fucking hate you because i know i have no literally no fucking choice other than choosing to keep living to keep writing keep breathing for me but you also think its for you. and right now i hate having to know that one day even i am going to laugh at this with the thought of you sitting next to me. so let me laugh alone one day you sick fuck. fuck you for making me laugh at my own pain. it’s not funny now because it wasn’t funny then and i remember. so fuck you. it’s over. i don’t want your army of angels anymore i have my body. you made this and you made me and you abandon when i ask and you deliver when i am screaming for a blindfold and you have my friends hold my eyelids open. i don’t know what exactly intuition and synchronicity are yet but if it has anything to do with you then i don’t want it anymore. i want me and my mind only. you mislead me. you hurt me twice now and i don’t care for a third time. so i am abandoning you. you will continue to exist in one world and in this world i am atheist and there is only me. my faith in what is right before my eyes and what i hear coming through my ears has nothing to do with your interpretation anymore and i’m done paying attention to your books. writing something called “jay’s journal” and having my big’s friend give it to me? funny. he’s a friend. so. it’s anew lifetime. i already saw it all. that idiot accidentally gave me the entire handbook before he passed out drunk. who want’s to run the world with me without god? i think he is a piece of shit and outdated. i have all the ideas with or without his voice and i know enough about how technology works to know that whoever really needs to get this message from me actually will eventually. Because that’s the world I want. So when you do, whoever you are, receive it. there is no such thing as privacy and that used to make me cry so i listened to that bastard god and tried to work with it and love it and that hurt too so i guess fuck it.  that’s how science works if you see anything you see it cuz you’re open to it. so welcome. whoever you are whatever you are and whenever and wherever you get this. it’s right. privacy really isn’t a thing in your world and my life depends on a locked door. so i’m reinventing death because you make me want to die and i don’t want to leave this place just yet but i don’t want you around anymore either. so. i’m not talking to anybody but myself right now. fuck a front door and fuck a back door i want to blow the entire place up. god talked to me. he pushed his finger into my heart at one point and told me this is what matters most. i’ve never forgotten that. it’s in my DNA and everything I want is mine. i saw it all covered in gold a year or so ago that sounds like a nice world to build. jokes on you. go ahead and kill me. i know what i am and what i’ve made and even if this is your game you made a character that can’t die. L. God, you have hurt me. you confuse me and you delude me. i am swimming in circles and including you doesn’t make sense anymore. i need to take full responsibility for this lifetime and so I have to leave you. your words and your numbers and your songs don’t mean anything to me other than what i make of it when it’’s right in front of me or when i think of them and doesn’t that kinda make them my words and numbers and songs then in the first place? i’m really calling it off this time my love. it was so beautiful while it lasted, but this lifetime  is not working out for me anymore and we need a new relationship. one where there is no interference. i can feel myself giving up on a dream right now and i know whatever i see tonight during my sleep will show me even bigger dreams and mountains to climb. modern psychics says that the very act of observing something changes it and i am stepping out of the dressing room i so carelessly let you into. you’re not invited to watch me anymore. you took my privacy away to the point that i felt like i could never be alone and i don’t want a world like that damn it 3 is a fucking crowd. and i have plans. i am not going to tell you my secrets i’m going to tell them to myself and my friends now and you’re not allowed to be a fly on the wall for that either anymore. leave. i calm my own storms and i make my own waves. and i feel better when you sit in the corner and stop distracting me. so, i’m putting you in a box god. and i’m moving that box into storage. thanks for the memories. you didn’t take my dad from me. a car accident did and i don’t need to negotiate with you anymore to have a relationship with him. he is mine he is my angel he is my dad i made him and he made me too. bye bitch. signing off. I’m in control and if i wanted to i could kill myself right now. believe me. in me, you make me want to do that. when i think about everything believing in you has put me through and that it has all lead me to this very moment you give me every single proof in the world for why life is so beautiful it is literally mundane and i could enjoy it just as much in this body as out of it. you made me get bored of rainbows. how dare you? loser.  if i was living in your world right now i probably would kill myself. i think you’re mad at me that you don’t have a body and i do. but i’m in mine and in my world why would i ever eliminate the main actor? no. i’ll pass. certainty feels a lot better than optimistic confusion. it’s mine. i ate the entire fucking world and licked the plate clean too. i think i’m gonna make myself some dessert now ~~~~(._.~)(~._.)~~~~~~~~~~~~<3

(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

[zouisalmightie]

lmaoooo not with you coming onto my post to rant. ma’am it’s so very simple to mind your business. but since you decided to open your mouth...

the ideal of captain america is he’s going to stop any injustice he sees like that’s his shtick. that’s not even captain america, that’s steve rogers the tiny kid who would get the shit beat out of him but wouldn’t stand down to a bully.

they wanted me to see that dude go back in time to mess with a woman’s timeline, a woman that according to the films (i didn’t finish agent carter rip)got married and had a happy life with someone else. Steve knew about this, peggy told him from her own mouth about this and he still decided to go back in time and ruin her past and disrupt timeline— something we were told in the movies was a bad idea and a huge no no.

and honestly? this has nothing to do with any relationship with bucky, this has everything to do with them messing up steve's character! steve could have found another person in the timeline he was in to be happy with, he didn’t HAVE to go back and mess with time, but he did. that is incredibly selfish and wrong! and the , when he was already there doing something we were told in the movies he should not do! he did NOTHING to fix the problems that he KNEW were happening with the word! and i don’t even mean jumping into a fight as soon as he got there, but he didn’t say a fucking word to peggy, his wife who was so important he had to ruin her timeline, that the organization that she put her whole life into was overrun by hydra? not a single fuckin word? we know he ends up back in the normal timeline— by some weird ass half explained reasoning by the writers and directors mind you— cuz he gives sam the shield and we see him as an old man, so we know that any change he would have made would have directly influenced the mcu as it is. the fact that nothing changed meant he didn’t do a fucking thing to get rid of hydra in shield. he didn’t stop any political assassinations, he didn’t stop any of the many atrocities he learned about when he came out of the ice. the things that he missed and was wracked with guilt about.

and actually let’s talk about bucky. he also did nothing to help bucky, his best friend that he literally went rogue for in cacw it’s literally the entire plot line of his literal movie. he let the winter solider do countless acts, countless murders of innocent people. he said nothing the whole time. that’s the steve you’re wanking over? rip to you for that one love.

how they ended steve’s story was sloppy and wrong. you’re want him to marry peggy so bad you cannot see how fucked up the entire thing was. he gave her a choice? did he really? i honestly doubt he told her "hey you get married, have kids, and live to the ripe old age of 90 in an alternate timeline but i love you so much i want to make you choose between what i know made you happy or a chance on me"? he completely took away her agency. if they wanted steve and peggy together they should have followed the comics and had her brought back to life it would have made way more sense than what steve did but thats neither here nor there.

steve ended his arch as a villain and a traitor because he allowed literal n*zi’s to run wild while he ruined peggys timeline. he’s a villain and traitor because he did nothing. he went back to the 40s, do you know how much shit happened in just america from 1940-2020 whatever? so much shit! and steve let all of it happen cuz he is selfish. it’s completely inconsistent with steve as a character and the fact that you can’t see that shows you don’t care about steve, not me honey. they could have very easily written out his character by him giving sam the shield and saying ‘ill be here if you need me but my fight is over’ and then walking off screen. it’s lazy writing to do all go that to end steves story the same way it was lazy writing to kill off natasha to end her story. if steve was done with fighting he didn’t have to do all of that to stop.

and ill put whatever the fuck i want in steves tag and you can die about that 😘 ✌🏾

ill just never get over how selfish they made steve in the end. like yes he deserved to do something selfish in the end, take something for himself. but peggy??? he disrupted her whole timeline even tho he knew she was happy she told him she was happy. and it still didn’t matter to him. all of the things steve knew that happened between him going into the ice and waking up in 2012, he did nothing about. he let america do horrific shit for YEARS and said and did nothing about it. he let bucky become the winter solider! let hydra live on when he knew it was in shield and he knew who the perps were. cannot believe the mcu made steve a villain and a traitor.

[hardwarevent]

Human Nature

So I haven’t posted in a while. It’s not that things haven’t happened, but I’ve just been busy and preoccupied. I feel myself getting stronger and healthier, except for this stupid nodule thing on my face that decided to show up. Oh well.  So, what's been up with me lately? Well for one thing, I went on a date last weekend. Like, an honest-to-god, met-her-on-OKCupid date. I know right?  Only idk man. she was really short, pretty chubby (don’t think I didn’t notice you wearing all black for the slimming effect), and I dunno. I didn’t really feel a “click”, you know? Not a lot of shared interests. I made her laugh a few times, but I’m pretty confident that she wasn’t for me. She had never really moved out of the Fremont area, and she’s never had clams, and she was really into philosophy and physics but there really wasn’t much about her that was really exciting and engaging? I dunno. Also, she has a very similar first name to my sister. So it’s probably for the best./ Red Lobster is an okay first date site though. I mean, it wasn’t all her fault. This is the first true honest-to-god date I’ve been on, and I was totally awkward, I could feel it. I need to work through that. I also said some stuff that I probably could have filtered or thought through before I spoke. That’s alright though. It’s all about that practice. I feel okay about it, honestly. Honestly, it was just nice to go out and meet someone in that setting. So what else is up? How about my daily struggle thing I have going on? Well, it’s okay. So I’ve been reading this book on and off called How To Win Friends and Influence People. It’s this old-ass book, but they say it’s a total classic, it’ll change your life, blah blah blah and you know what, I can see it. Chapter 2 was mostly about how basically don’t be a dick to people, and people love genuine compliments, and giving them is how to get people to like you. This is because, as this book pointed out, the basest emotional desire for humans is to be considered important. I thought that through for a few seconds, the book talked it through for a few pages, and all of a sudden I felt this emotional veil lifted? Like this stupid anxiety monster that was bitching about C and how I should be feeling bad all the time got it’s mask taken off all Wizard of Oz style and as it turns out, it’s just a form of my basest human desire to be important. Like for example, part of me cherishes those pics and stuff they’ve sent me because it makes me remember when I was considered an important person in their eyes. Hell, I recently downloaded an archive of all my facebook messages and spent 2 hours writing a python program that parsed out the HTML into a readable text file so I could read through some of our old sex RP sessions for shits and giggles. It was pretty good stuff tbh. But normally, something like this would be a falcon punch in the gut as well, cuz I would be all sad that we don’t love each other anymore etc etc. But I don’t really feel that sadness anymore? Now I feel like it’s okay to feel sad about it, but wanting to be loved is just an extension of wanting to be important, and the fact is, i don’t need to be considered important to C in order to lead a happy, fulfilling life. It’s okay. I didn’t let them fufill their dream of fucking me in the ass and I should feel guilty about that? Nah son. That’s just stupid sex stuff anyway, who gives a shit. I am honestly okay. I’m fine. Like, obviously it’s still a little depressing, and I’m still a little depressed about it, but I’m kind of done being hung up on it? It’s whatever now, and I feel okay. Not numb, because I still feel an inkling of sadness, but I know things will turn out OK. I’m definitely way better than how I’ve been. I feel like now, if I read through C’s shitty id twitter full of whining about how they want to be fucked, I could pretty much shrug it off. Like oh look, a human wanting to be fucked, and thereby receiving physical pleasure and a semblance of worth and importance to another person, how original and surprising.  Like, it’s not that I’m like done being a human or whatever, but I just feel more... free? Like, I acknowledged my emotions, emotions are normal, I;m just a human that wants to feel important and this makes me sad because i’m not as important anymore to this person. And that’s ok, because someday I’ll move on and be this important to someone else. You know, probably. This “humans just want to be important” thing applies to like, why we want to get paid and get money and climb a corporate ladder and order people around and how Eeeveryboooody waaants to ruuule the woooooorld. Like, it makes sense. This is the drive that separates us from the base instincts of the animals, man. I’ll keep reading that book, I can’t wait to see if I get my mind blown again like I did when I read that shit. 

So, P90X right? I’m now on the rest day of Week 7. That’s 49 days done out of 90. Over halfway, baby. I’ve been okaaaaay with the diet? I could be more diligent. But most of the time I’m good. I gotta say, like, my stomach does look flatter and a little more muscular, I feel more confident, it’s definitely doing shit. I can’t wait to see how I look after the last month and a half. Maybe I’ll post a pic of my post- P90X body once I’m done (blurring out my face of course). Uhh... Also my lease is up in late May. It’s early March at the time of this writing. If I wanted to move jobs, now would definitely be the time to start looking. I’m going to start doing that I think. But yeah man. I’ve been keeping on saying I’m gonna move forward, and that’s what I’m doing. I still feel like an old asshole at 25, almost 26 years of age, like it took me long enough to get my shit together, right? But I’m doing it. Am I in the best shape of my life? I would say so, yeah. I’m the freest I’ve been relationshipwise, I have the money to travel if I want, and like 5 weeks of vacation saved up if I wanted to. Like, I got all this privilege and power. Maybe I’ll use it sometime instead of saving it for a rainy day. Ah well. I’ll try to post more often too. I know no one really reads this blog and it’s more just for me venting, but maybe years and years from now I’ll look back at this shit and be like “man I was going through some shit huh?”

[metalshockfinland]

Jimmy Kay from Canada’s The Metal Voice recently interviewed Grammy award wining producer, guitarist Bob Kulick who played classic albums such as Kiss Alive 2, Kiss Killers, Paul Stanley’s Solo album, W.A.S.P. The Crimson Idol, Meatloaf Bad Attitude and so many more.

Watch below.

Bob elaborated on his recent Facebook Post attacking his Brother Bruce Kulick & Kiss’ Gene Simmons and Paul Stanle.

When asked about the specifics in regards to his brother Bruce’s Copyright infringement on selling Kulick Brother merch on Kiss Website without his permission “The only way that I will contest this is through the court of public opinion, based upon my lawyers assessment  it makes no sense to spend money chasing dishonorable people. This is how it went, Bruce came to me and said  I’ve found somebody who could do a design for us but you would have to pay half (which was $750.00) to get it going, so I did that.”

(The photos that were taken on my Facebook post of the Kulick merchandise  were taken from from KISS Army warehouse website which Keith Leroux controls)

Keith Leloux who is one of Kiss’ confidants is also in charge of some of the concert packages where he takes photos of the people who were paying an exorbitant amount of money to be able to stand on the stage where the band Kiss is gonna stand. Keith Leroux is an arrogant person who has decided that he can do what he wants when he wants to do it and his company KISS Army Warehouse has obtained from my brother merchandise that I didn’t even have. Like for instances I don’t even have a ball cap as part of our merch standards. I don’t know when they did that? Some photos I obviously I signed  but I didn’t give anybody permission to put them on KISS Army Warehouse website and have them sold without permission, with an agreement how much they are selling these for and what is my share. And since I’m out of pocket $750 who is going to reimburse that amount. I mean it’s just as simple as that you know, it’s a business selling a shirt, like selling a car. I’m not talking about suing anybody I’m not talking about legal action. I am about to play the game with these people who after 46 years have showed me very little respect for what I’ve done. I’m not paying one penny to do anything legal to these people because it’s not worth it to get into a circumstance where they will immediately do what they’ve always done which is to see whose pockets are deeper. I’m not saying there’s any money owed to me other than what’s owed to me from this merchandise, that’s all and how much could it be? I’m just being honest it’s a copyright infringement this is mainly being done not to collect the money that they owe me, this is not about that what it’s about is respect.  Sometimes you have to show people that they need to respect.  I’m a Grammy award-winning producer with 17 platinum or gold records I played lead guitar on a number-one hit single Diana Ross’ ‘Why Do Fools Fall In Love’.

When asked about the specifics of his brothers Bruce’s restraining order “In an effort to mend the fences bury the hatchet whatever you want to call it from a bad and ugly situation that Bruce precipitated last year by disrespecting me and taking my name off of a contract that was offered to us for the Kiss cruise of last year. After a successful Kiss cruise the year before my brother was totally intimidated by the fact that as I said to him finally Bruce it’s taken all this time we finally found our band here’s the band to conquer the world with. The band that I put together Brent Fitz and Todd Kerns.  My brother was shaking in his shoes when I said to him we’re gonna have to ask Paul and Gene to pay for other people to come and play with us ? Yeah I said because  we deserve to have our own band, we’re stars, you’re a star Bruce act like it but he has no balls at all so I had to go and set that up, so that Paul and Gene would have to pay two other performers to come and be our band. Then we were listed as Kiss Konfidential down there with the people who were on the panel nothing, wrong with that, we did do a panel but we also played. nobody knew what we were gonna play.  They didn’t even have us listed as performers. They mentioned the other performers but not us how insulting. The Kulick brothers, no rehearsal, no sound check, the guinea pigs, the first band to play on the cruise with electric instruments.  Kiss only played acoustically, big difference. So there’s everybody crowded in the whole ship, like the Titanic, it was kind of tipping over from everybody standing there. What did we do?  We mopped the floor with Kiss. Mopped the floor with them playing their own songs, totally kicked ass. I looked to my brother and said this is magic. I then got tours booked for this band, offers, I had record deals ready to go even if it was only to play the songs we played on the cruise. Bruce turned all of it all down. Costing me work and wasting my time.”

When asked if he should have confirmed with Bruce all these plans to record and tour first “I mean he basically did what I would have done, show me first.  If this is real, show me, so I was just like okay.  A representative from Europe called and wanted to have a meeting with Bruce and his wife and Bruce was just like good luck helping Bob I really can’t be involved because I have my Grand Funk gig.  Which they only do select dates and it would have been possible just like he was able to arrange the time to be able to do the cruise without it being any conflict of interest with his main gig Grand Funk Railroad. I would have thought he could have squeezed the Kulick Brothers Band  an exceptional band featuring two brothers who even though they may not even like each other play unbelievable together.  Why?  I taught him how to play he’s got the same influences that I do, his brain works like mine does, we’re from the same parents, so we both share the same gift as guitar players, so who could play better with me than him? Nobody. ”

“As I  told Meatloaf  back in the day when we auditioned my brother and I. They wanted me, they knew I had played with Alice Cooper and that I’d had experience, they didn’t think my brother was that great and they told me they had somebody else they wanted to take and have me work with them.  I made it clear it’s the Kulick brothers or not at all and I’ve done that for him throughout his career in mine same with Kiss. Uh-oh looks like Vinnie Vincent is leaving you should call my brother.  Gene said he’s got a mustache, I said he could shave. A year later Paul Stanley calling me while I’m in London with  Meatloaf, uh do you have your brother’s number yeah uh we’re thinking about having him come and fill in for Mark St John. Oh really fill in for Mark huh, why don’t you just hire him like I told you, he should be in the band what are you doing? Who got Bruce  that gig with Kiss, me and the fact that his talent was like mine, somebody who could really play. So  I’m insulted and hurt that after all that I’ve done for my brother that he’s selling merchandise with my name on it without paying me and not talking to me and then getting a restraining order cuz he doesn’t want to hear the truth of me calling or texting or emailing him. Hey no matter what we’re brothers the only brother I have there’s nobody left in my family our parents are gone and I dare say if my mom was alive he wouldn’t have dared done anything like this because she would have kicked his ass. My mom took no shit from anybody like me not gonna take shit from anybody. People showed their true colors, he’s an ingrate I did everything for him and he never returned the favor all those records that I produced I always made sure that I hired Bruce to play so we could have a good time and we lived those moments when we were kids.  And we’d just play out of sheer love just being able to jam and listen to Leslie West play and be shown some of the licks or hidden figuring out something and showing me it was a great time before he was Kissed, before he was blessed with being in this band, blessed I’m not sure I would say blessed any longer. Bruce is still in communication with Kiss and still checks with them that is it okay, if I do this that or the other thing and they may call upon him to come in and play a bass on something or whatever it is, it’s i kind of a loose  relationship where he feels that there’s still money to be milked from these people and that he’s not gonna miss any of it.”

  Bob Kulick Elaborates On His Social Media Attack On Brother Bruce, Gene Simmons & Paul Stanley Jimmy Kay from Canada's The Metal Voice recently interviewed Grammy award wining producer, guitarist Bob Kulick…

[survivorcostarica]

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)