#Mabye a fanfic idea?

[fruitytulip]

Imagine this Constance walks downstairs and just hugs Kate they all think it’s a joke and look confused but then Constance starts to sniffle and starts to cry quietly and they all look worried since Constance 1 dosent cry in front of people and 2 hates touch and hugs

[alex-thegendertheif]

I think I've asked this before but I'll ask again-

Can I PLEEEAAASE have a Caregiver!Joy + Little!Anxiety fanfic? Or mabye headcanons? I'd literally die for it, honestly. Like DONATE MY ORGANS for it.

I've shipped these two so hard ever since I saw the movie and when I heard about Little!Anxiety headcanons I've really wanted this to happen.

Thanks!

aww thank you but for fanfics im gonna hold off until im better bc i have dysgraphia and its rlly hard for me to write them and write stories in general

Little Anxiety and Caregiver Joy

- Joy first noticed anxiety little tics? ( idk if thats what its called) like thumb sucking, being more quiet/nonverbal, incontinence, biting,

- but it was after little anxiety had a nightmare was when joy was able to help baby anxiety.

- joy knew what to do bc she has experience with fear and the others regressed

- joy loves to baby talk anxiety

- joy does the best peekaboo and angel milk the

- joy calls anxiety tangerine, kiddo, little one, and mango

- anxiety was not sure at first but she came around to the idea of being taken care off

-joy loves to sing lullabies to baby anxiety

- anxiety loves when joy sings to her you are my sunshine

- when anxiety regresses really young like to a certain newborn only joy is allowed to put a diaper on her to avoid accidents

[numbuh900]

Sector IMPCITY meet I.M.P.

Now the imp city kids next door go around pranking adults that gave kids the shit end of the stick, right? I.M.P.'s job is to assassinate anybody who screwed over a sinner..........so what if they two teams had the same target?

You guys have no idea how long I've been wanting to draw these two teams meeting each other. Blake and Blitz are just arguing with and Ian and Moxxie both gotta put up with their leaders' bull shit.

Blitz:"What the hell?! You kids just scared away my kill target!"

Blake:"Play? We're not playing. this is a serious KND mission, shit head!"

Ian and Moxxie:"Sir, calm down!"

Millie:"Can that thing blast a hole in somebody's face?"

Ella:"Noooo, it just zaps them cartoonishly"

Millie:"Well, where's the fun in that?"

Victors head looks a bit big here. Yeah, I kinda screwed up with some size proportions with sector ImpCity, but I tried my best. Practice makes perfect, after all.

Missy aka Numbuh 667 doesn't have an I.M.P. equivalent, so I thought mabye Verosika Mayday would be the closest to a counterpart for her as their both pink succubi that like music

I might make these drawings into a mini story someday. Maybe I could write it when I have the time since I got other fanfics going on right now.

[rainedrop-hh]

I hate you/Adam x lute Fic/🎸🗡

AN: hey! So as you probably know my names Raine, and I am currently hyper-fixation on Adam and lute for a total of 119 days now! (I started on the 3rd February) so iv been drawing, looking at art, reading fanfics and now I’m writing my second Adam x lute one! So hurray, this is a short first chapter but I promise I have a lot planned! But I'd love some ideas of how lute would deal with this grief

Summary of this chapter: Lute comes to the conclusion, she is weak. She failed.

Chapter 1

Lute was back in heaven, after the extermination. A yearly ritual which her and her Arrogant boss and the rest of his army indulg in, slaughtering sinners. But to much of lutes disapproval after everyone they have a massive victory party (Idea from @deadgirlwalking91 ) with all sorts of *confiscated alcohol* or atleast that’s what Adam called it. But this time was different.

They had returned to heaven as the portal closed behind lute. She looked around, there wasn’t any cheering or laughing or even bragging.. it was silent.. yet it was suffocating her, she looked around at her injured sisters.. the number lower than what they arrived with..some crying, as some of them even started to argue with each other cutting through the silence like a blade, it felt like someone had stabbed through lutes heart with a blade.

Lute looked around, her vision hazy, ears ringing, body weak, heart racing!

Then she fell to her knees and started sobbing holding on tigh to Adam’s halo, she had lost something during that extermination.. she had lost Adam. She had lost Adam! How.. he was standing right here just a couple of hours ago.. now he’s..he can’t be dead.. he just..

*hic*

“I failed..”

she then felt a hand on her shoulder as she quickly whipped her head up, Adam!?

Daisy” lute.. are you.. are you ok..?”

Lute could barely make out her face her voice was loud it hurt, why did everything hurt so much.

Lute pushed her hands away with her only arm, keeping Adam’s halo on her legs as she grabbed it and struggled to get up due to the new unbalance as daisy frowned and watched lute struggle

“I am fine.”

Lute snapped back at daisy trying to not face her as lutes tears still ran down her face, she tried to scowl narrow her face stop crying. Stop crying lieutenant.

Daisy”hmm.. Where’s.. where’s Adam?”

Lute” Adam is.. Adam is dead.”

She said coldly trying not to make her voice all high-pitchy and Whiney, she hated crying. The exoricts in close vicinity stopped fighting, crying, panicking. And all looked at lute shocked mabye confused

Daisy”did.. did you just say Adam is..?”

“ Are you death or something you stupid bitch!? I said he is dead, Adam is dead!”

Lute looked around at the exoricts that and quickly gathered all of them looking at her, why were they all looking at her. They all know she failed..why were they still here.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT!?”

Lute would shout back at all the exoricts looking at her while she held Adam’s halo tightly, all of them looked shocked, sad, worried but the worst of all.. they all looked to *her* expectedly.. like this was a BIG FAT FLAMING FUCKING JOKE. Maybe she was the joke..

They must think she’s worthless.. she failed Adam, if that wasn’t the worst thing she had also lost her right arm trying to protect him and she still failed. She failed her sisters. She failed sera. She failed Adam. She had failed herself..

She would walk to the edge of the circle that had slowly been forming around trying to keep her head down, her normal scowl had returned onto ger face through the tears as she tried her best to push the exoricts out the way, to leave to go home go to sera go back to the training quarters to go somewhere! Anywhere..just..

Then she would feel dizzy her head was spinning the ground was getting further away.. just another..step..and that’s..she fell unconscious

[cartoonfan15]

Eteled's Attempt at a Guided Meditation (Wii Deleted You Small Fanfic)

Warning: This is not canon to Wii Deleted You and it's made for the fact that I think Eteled meditates to not let his anger or anxiety get to him. By the way, There is also self-doubt. I tried my best for an Eteled impression and I hope you enjoy reading it. Mabye I'll update a bit of it.

"Uh… Hello… I'm Eteled." "Alright… I didn't do this before… but I know I can do it" Deep Breathing "This is my first attempt… to a guided meditation… but, I'm not that good at it, so go easy on me." "Please…" "I did try guided meditation before… so I might know some things from it." "though… I'm nervous… cause anyone might find this." "What if I'm not that good…?" Deep breath "Breathe, Eteled,… you can do it…" "Ok…So…" "First… Sit or lay in a comfortable position… Anyway you like." "Usually, I do a lotus position, but… anyway." "Now, close your eyes… and focus on your breathing…" "Slow breath in… slow breath out…" "Bring your awareness… onto that breathing." "(I really don't want them to be bored)" "Uh… I got an idea." "Try to count your breaths." "Like… in 1… out 2" "I heard that it helps…" "Alright… Feel your shoulders heavy…" "And your mind easy and relaxed…" "…" "…" "…" "…?" "Am I doing this wrong" "Are they even gonna like it?" "What if they think I'm not good at this?" "What if they think I can't do it?" "What if I remember something scary through this?!" "What if I can't calm down?!" Silent paniked breathing "…" "Just calm down… Don't let anything scare you." "your safe, your fine, you can do it…" Breathing slows down "Oooommmm…" "Oooommmm…" "Oooommmm…" Relifed sigh "Think of nice, calming thoughts…" "Just…Breathe…" Deep breathing "…" "Hmm…?" "Oh.." "I… actually did it…Wow…" "I feel… better…" "I guess it wasn't that bad." "…" "Mabye it's time to end." "Well… Bye."

[grieving-angel-hopeful-demon]

So i want to post my notes for my undertale fics. But I'm not sure people would enjoy it (-_-;)・・・

[ghost-chi]

I'm going to make a slight au.

After ghostbur yells at phil and phil pushes him off he gets really angry and starts to commit crimes and arson and stuff.

The name of the au is vengeful spirit or vengefulspirit!ghostbur.

Credit to GreenBeanGirl#9707 on discord for the au name!

I will mabye write fanfics of this and I will make more posts about this.

Edit: Also, feel free to give me ideas! I'm seriously gonna need them since I can never think of things myself!

[universallywriting]

Speaking about AO3: do you sometimes consider thinking about mabye possibly finishing coffee shop co-up? I mean only if you feel like it and it’s convenient.

I actually would like to continue it! 2020 has obviously been a rough year on us all, and I’ve been taking a bit of a breather from my larger fics. I haven’t started a new one since I finished Second User, and His Highness is a collab.

I put Co-Op on hiatus after Maya confirmed that Peridot is supposed to be aro/ace. Writing a lapidot fanfic, one that does not paint Peridot as either aro or ace, was definitely conflicting.

I don’t exactly consider it unethical to continue a fic that was in progress before a reveal was dropped. Ie, if a character is revealed to be trans, or gay, or a previously ethnically ambiguous character is revealed to be a specific race, I don’t think it’s wrong to complete a project. I wouldn’t consider that erasure - especially as I hold amateur fanwork to a completely different standard to professional original IPs (as I believe everyone should).

However, at the time I didn’t really want the stress with dealing with it, and I wasn’t really comfortable with it either. Although I don’t consider it erasure, I did not want to participate at that moment in a culture that was debating whether it was “okay” for Maya to claim Peridot as aro/ace rep. I did not want, in any way, to make it seem as if I was in support of the erasure of that representation, which I know is extremely rare and precious for people.

But as we head into the new year, and the fandom is shrinking, I would absolutely like to return and finish that story now that I feel like I wouldn’t appear to be... I don’t know, subtly supporting the idea that shipping matters more than rep? I don’t feel like my completing that story would contribute to a culture of erasure - though I’m sure there are people who would disagree.

I’d probably like to put a disclaimer, to add a note to emphasize that Peridot is aro/ace but there was no way for me to pivot this story to accurately include that, and finish the story I intended to tell. But with Steven in that story discovering that he’s demisexual instead of non-gray ace, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable continuing without making it very explicit that I don’t support erasing ace people or their experiences.

I know it’s just fanfic, and it’s not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but fandom is one of the few places where people who are ignored feel seen, and I try to take every reasonable step I can to keep that from happening.

Sorry for the rant, but, to reiterate - yes! I do intend to finish Coffee Shop. Thank you for asking so politely! <3

[renee-writer]

Writing Questions Tag

Tagged by @kmunrowrites. Thanks my dear

1. What is the ideal setting to focus on your writing?

I finally have a writer's room, or my office as my brother calls it. Sitting at the desk, surrounded by pictures of my children and grandchildren, by the window is my favorite place.

2 What is your favorite genre to write?

Romance, without a doubt. Romance, family, friends. Happy stuff.

3 Do you prefer to write on paper or digitally?

Digitally. But when I started seriously writing, it was all on paper so I have stacks of notebooks that I am slowly transferring to a digital medium.

4 It's the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea, what do you do?

What I should do is get up and write it down. What I end up doing is writing it in my head. The first chapters of lots of my stories started this way.

5 What is your favorite person to write about?

As I write a lot of Outlander fanfic, it is Claire. I love to write in her voice because no matter the situation she remains a strong confident woman.

6 Do you like making up your own characters or do you write about real people?

Both. The OL characters are not my own but I make them my own. I write some about Sam and Cait. Lately I have been writing about my mom. I also have my own characters. Grace and Daniel in Learning to Love. Josiah and Sarah in Sarah's Story, extra

7 Have you every written a book or story with more then 15 chapters or 100K words?

Oh aye. Most of them. The opposite is more rare. Most of my stories are long.

8 How often do you get ideas?

All the blasted time! Lol. Seriously. My mind is full of them.

9 Do you ever get an idea you really like but can't seem to finish?

I"ve had two like that. The Lucky Ones, a sci-fi type story in which children at age 13 are allowed a chance to be born into a new family and Utopia!, In which a gene discovery allows women to delay their cycles until they are ready to have children. But the government is in charge of whether they are able to start them. Both are outside of what I usually write. Both good starts but can't figure out how to end them. Will take suggestions.

10 What is your least favorite plot?

Rape and molestation, though I have used both. They tend to be easy plot devices. Well overused( looking car you DG). As a part of life, they have their place but are way overused.

11 Tag 5 more people

@smashing-teacups @desperationandgin @ladymeraud @futureauthor-mabye @prairiefarmgirl

[fruitytulip]

Okay Oneshot/Fanfic idea a guess

So you know how in season 2 episode 6 sticky goes to apologize to Constance and she’s happy so he doesn’t really get to. We’ll what if either after the last episode of season 2 (and all the kids meet up again) or when there at number 2s family’s house (after they get Constance out of that coma thing) sticky and Constance talk to each other and they both end up apologizing to each other so it’s like some angst but fluff thing. (also other characters are either mentioned or seen) I really wanted this to happen in season 3 because we need more Constance and sticky interactions cause I love them

[hippyexd]

Collection of my stories: Explained

Here is the post that nobody cares about but I'll share it because I just want the world to know.

1. Demon Academy.

I've posted some things about it already, it's a comic I started in 2014 originally in hungarian. I'm not quite happy with the way I started it, but I've built an interesting world, and I adore the characters, it's one of my best work that I'm very proud of. I drew 260 pages in total (book 1 and book 2) and I intend to pick up the story again sometime soon, when I get over exam season.

2. Runner

A medieval-themed fantasy story that I eventually want to make into a cartoon series. It's a bit cliché, but the characters are fun, and it has a lot of potential for epic music. I basically came up with the entire plot while listening to fantasy music mixes. Fun times. I've only got some character drawigs, and I just recently managed to finally have eneryone's finalized version. I also have a side story/shared universe thing planned for it.

3. Xyber-no

A post-apocalyptic cyberpunk futuristic action horror cartoon series idea. I've got the characters done already, and plans for like 2 seasons worth of content, I'm just lazy to edit the 1st ep's script. It's not even 20 minutes long. Honestly I'm just anxious to touch it. Got most of my ideas while listening to Neffex songs.

4. Racer

I watched Initial-D, and way back I had a roleplay about a car racer dude, and these two motivated me to write this story. It's not really a novel, it resembles more to a script but it's not actually a script. It was mainly dialogue practice, to make the characters feel more fun. I just finished the rewrite like a week ago, I think it turned out pretty great. Planning on adding a part 2 or a season 2 or something like that, but again, too lazy to actually touch it. It's fun to re-read though.

5. Singer

I'm currently working on this story, because when I'm bored, I write. And when is the best time to be bored? Exam season. Hell yeah. Anyway, it's about a suicidal dude falling in love with a singer (also dude, I love my gay kids okay) and then they figure out their shit. Good story to fit in as much angst as possible, with a few lovely fluff parts.

6. ZR series

Most of my followers came from the ZR community, so y'all know what this one is. But in case not, it's a comic series portraying my reactions to various moments that happen in Zombies, Run!, a really fun and creative workout app. The comic is on hold right now because I've already got too much shit to do til christmas. (Such as the Fellow Five drawing I promised. It's not forgotten, I just don't have time!! XD)

7. Demon and Vampire

Basically an over the top gay fluff love story with a little angst. It's pretty cool, sometimes it's boring, it's full of clichés and stuff, but I read it like 6 times and usually I hate my own writing, but there are parts that I just genuinely love in it. Fun stuff.

8. Psychoville

I've written the first 10 pages in like 30 different versions, because I'm unable to nail it. The main character is the daughter of Satan, who's name is ironically Angel, and she lives in a small town called Psychoville in the desert in Nevada, next to Searchlight, Nevada. As the name implies, she lives with 9 (or 8, I forgot) psychopaths, killers, mass murderers, insane mentally ill people who love each other to bits (and sometimes cut each other to bits) until she gets the task to investigate something for her father away from her home. Got a lot of inspiration from Welcome to Night Vale, and that lawless town in Kansas, I think? The yes theory made a video on it on yt, it's pretty dope.

9. Hollywood Undead Hungarian Fanfiction

It's just what it is. A fanfic of the boiz going on tour, getting in trouble, drinking and so on. No romance (bc that's gross and I couldn't find any fanfic that was not in some shape or form a ship fanfic). Da Kurlzz was still in the band when I wrote it. I was like 12. I just wanted to have fun. The chapters are 2 pages long in total. But the hungarian fans liked it, was trending a bunch of times on wattpad and it has a lot of reads. Despite being horribly shitty, I'm proud of it, and it has a lot of really fun parts and jokes.

10. Wrong Number

I almost forgot about this gem, but this was my first finished english story. It's almost entirely written in sms text format, it's progressig a bit too quickly, but at the time I was having a lot of fun with it, and that's all that matters. It has some really funny lines I came up with, I like re-reading it just for that. But also, it was a fun way to get around having to write long paragraphs lol. I just wanted to have fun with it. Heavily inspired by the Call me Beep me klance fanfic.

11. Milky Boiz

Context: my friend and I, at 2am, were thinking about what our ship name would be, but I kept typing "mmmmmilky" in the chat, that turned into milky boiz, and she said, that if we were guys, that would be our ship name. This gave us an idea for a webcomic, which we didn't actually progress with yet, but we do have an insta page where we already posted some of our boiz, you can find it under the name of @ink.stars , go pay a visit, it's my art and my friend's, and she is a wonderful artist and a lovely person and I love her to bits.

12. Night Vale Steampunk AU

It's pretty much dead, but while I was really actively part of the Night Vale fandom, I started a Steampunk AU. It was fun, it got like 4 chapters or something and big plans, but the characters were not in character, and it lost the Night Vale vibe, so I just let it go.

13. Cop Comic

Also a dead project of mine, but I still like it. It was inspired by a moment on one of our high school class trips. The characters were based on me and my friends, but the resemblence stops at hair color, that's all. Mabye not even that. Anyway it's what it is: cops dealing with crime and their personal problems. I wish I had known Brooklyn Nine Nine back then, would have been a great help.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So, there you have it, all my favourite finished and unfinished works/ideas, just so you know if in the future I reference one (planning to post more Runner, DA and Xyber-no content along with the ZR comic)

[thewrittenpost]

Resolution Tag

I was tagged by @morriganwrites-0124; Thank you so much!

Rules: talk about your resolutions for the summer and your plan for achieving them, then tag some people! if you did new year’s resolutions, feel free to look at and think about those again for the summer!

Actually get names for Villain’s Intern. At least for the main hero and the main super villain. Like... it’s important to me. I’m spending quite a bit of time online, with generators and what-not, looking at pre-existing superhero/villain names (especially Marvel and DC) to make sure they aren’t in use, and trying to figure out what their alter ego names would be. They have to have some life to protect their secret identities after all!

Finish deity/worldbuilding for Death’s Eyes... or at least make myself stop and focus on the story. So far, my plan is to just continue all the worldbuilding and hope I am able to convince myself that I can continue that process at a later date.

Start writing my fanfiction again! I have a RWBY fanfic I’ve been talking to a friend about, and that’s gotten me excited for the story again! Plus, I finally have ideas for it again! The plan is to get off tumblr for an hour when I’m not babysitting and actually write; I’ve been plotting for it, so I can keep moving forward again! (And hopefully not disappear for over a year again)

Here, I’ll tag @futureauthor-mabye, @cohldhands and @theguildedtypewriter if you want to! And of course, anyone else who would like to do it!

[phoniex742]

So I love sanders sides (warning there will be spoliers) I wasent plammeing on posting this but I guess I am but here's some things i noticed or read about it feel free lot correct me or anwser these are just my oppions

Has anyome noticed that logans name is the only one that is the closet to his "title "

Logen=Logic

Aneixty =Virgil

Patton =Morality

Roman =Creativity

Deciet =Janus

"Bad " Creativity =Remus

Does that mean the others orgnally might have been simlaer to there title ?

Is stormcloud a cacon nickname ?or will be cacon ?because from the accepting can anexity be good ? Accepting anxiety part2/2 Roman qoute says "then why do you act like the ennondmemt of a dark and story night all the time ?"*here that stormynight-stormcloud proof-

During intrude thoughts Logan explains that the two creativity were spilt he explains how and why but he never explains who who spilt the creative twins ?was it really Thomas himself or does the last side have something tl do with it ?

I agree that I think the last side will be orange from what i'v seen and read they think it will be jelousy or insanity (comment below if you have any idea on what the next side will be ) I think it will be ignorance

I still caint belive decit /Janus acutlly told him his name I freaked out but something stuck with me why is Janus so against sociaty ?was he some how hurt because of it or mabye he was cast out because he was delcered as different and a villan ?

Speaking of witch I wonder how anextys gonna handle Janus being accepted

So if it comfrumbed some dark sides have animal traits (or not just form what I read and seen )

Janus/decit :is obviously a snake

Remus is a :octopus

And Patton :frog

And Virgil is a :spider or black cat

So if its confimbed that the light sides also have animal traits here is my opopm on what they would be

Logan :owl

And roman :dragon or Griffen

Oh another thing was Logan once a dark side ?becuse in some fanfics and comics have seem to confirm this I an not sure it was cacon but if he was what do you think he was before ?like how Virgil (who may or may not have been cacnonly paranoia )so does that mean that Logan may have been something like navite ?or ilogical ?

Speaking dark sides are Remy /sleep and Emile pacanni condered sides ? Or are they just a persnitly ?if not do yoy think Remy would be a dark side ?and emile a light side ?

That is all for know

Credit to Thomas sanders for his amazeing characters these are just my opions

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 2]

So it turns out I’m a dirty liar who can’t get his act together in a timely fashion. But at least I’m here now! And, boy, is this a chapter!

Just as a heads-up, things get a little sexual in this chapter, and consent isn’t established beforehand, so it does read as a bit iffy. 

Recap: Sixteen-year-old Atlantiana Rebekah Loren, referred to by the nickname “Tiaa” with two As for some reason, has just started school in Forks. She’s living with new foster parents who we haven’t met yet. Also she is ethereal and smells like mint and cinnamon. The chapter ended with her bumping into Edward on the way to class.

Chapter 1

AN - VINCENT or watever ur name is thanx 4 the LAME reviw. u totall D*** no one is MAKIN u reed this fic if you dont like it then leave.

I actually really like this fic, so I shan’t be leaving. Also, Vincent’s review was actually fairly positive; he said it’s awful and he’d like to see more of it, please.

Clestal zodiac and brittany j - thanx for the advice on my character but shes not a marysue, she's not "perfect" look she has anger problems and she looks the way she does 4 a reason i will explain it as the story goes on.

Both of these reviewers called Tiaa a Mary Sue and one linked her to a Mary Sue litmus test. 

I probably don’t need to say it, but Mary Sues don’t need to be perfect, just presented unrealistically. Sure, stereotypical examples are all gorgeous, multitalented teenage girls who steal the spotlight from the canon cast (Tiaa’s basically that stereotype, possibly minus the multitalented bit since that’s not been established yet), but there are loads of Mary Sue characters who don’t fit that mold exactly, or at all. I talked about the “anger problems” thing last time, and even if her looks are justified (spoilers: they aren’t, really) they’re still being dwelled on way too much. We don’t know much of anything about Forks, Tiaa’s peers, or even Edward, but we know Tiaa smells like mint and cinnamon. It’s a classic case of an author being so invested in a character that her priorities as a writer are completely off. Or it would be if this wasn’t a trollfic.

Chapter 2 - edward

The anger faded form my sapphire eyes

"whatevah" i said sweatily "I didnt mean to yell and to be ride”

My initial thought was that the author meant “sweetly” instead of “sweatily,” but I actually think “sweatily” works better because Tiaa’s probably perspiring over how hot the pale guy is. Also, come to think of it, you can totally say something sweatily and I think it’s an adverb we should all be using more often.

"thou are too beuatiful for that" he said, and for once I didnt feel like cockdropping the guy for paying me a compilement, instead I just smiled.

You see what I mean about how incredible this fic’s prose is? We just went from mangled Ye Olde English to “cockdropping” in the course of a single sentence.

No idea what “cockdropping” means but it definitely ought to be a word. BeckyMac666 is the next Shakespeare or Carroll, honestly. Voice of a generation right here.

"I'm Ewdard Cullen" he mermered "who are thee?”

Get used to that typo; Edward gets called “Ewdard” a hell of a lot in this story. Think Enoby from “My Immortal.”

"Altatntiana Loren but you can call me Tiana or mabye Tiaa" i said feeling shy at the way he was looking at me. 

That typo, on the other hand, only happens once to my recollection.

I had seen THAT look in so many male eyes but never quite as intense or sexy! His eyes burned like hot gold velvet in the midday sun like peonix feathers and rainbows, so gold and magical.

There’s a lot happening in that simile. Possibly too much. 

"thou reminds me of bygone times" he said, carefully retching out a shaking hand and brushing my cheek "thy face is like an old painting, thou is exceptional""

And thou art poorly written, Ewdard.

Not sure how I feel about the mental image of Edward vomiting up a hand and brushing Tiaa’s cheek with it, but it probably did improve the sentence.

"your not so shanky yourself but i couldn't help noticing you have a fricking GF, you ass! I saw u with her in the cafeteria!" 

Shanky?

Just for fun, and in case anyone reading this avoided exposure to Twilight itself, let me talk a little about Edward’s portrayal so far. First off, the Ye Olde English makes no sense — Edward was bitten after falling ill during the 1918 swine flu pandemic, if memory serves, so his speech would be modern (albeit antiquated) English even assuming he didn’t pick up any phrases from being around modern teens. Second off, Edward is really disinterested in… well, everyone but Bella, and with Bella he initially freaks out because he doesn’t know how to deal with being attracted to a human. (Do I date her? Do I suck her blood?) Even if I go with the notion that he’s also into Tiaa, we know this isn’t how he behaves around someone he likes. And he’s a mind-reader, so presumably he knows what Tiaa’s thinking and could shift his behavior accordingly — except that I have a bad feeling Tiaa, like Bella, is immune from having her mind read.

The flowery descriptions are straight outta Twilight, though.

I notched his hand hard with my long black nails.

Sounds painful.

"thee DID notice me then?" he purred with a sly grin. 

I mean… it’s a small school, it’s not weird that she saw you. Someone so pale he looks like printer paper tends to stand out. Also she never claimed not to have noticed him.

I was up against the wall with his face right close to me now. He wanted to sex me I could tell, and suddenly he was kissing me! 

The boy wastes no time, I see. Be nice if he asked first, but… in a fic like this, I don’t know what I was expecting.

Side note: yes, this is incredibly out of character. Edward is a save-it-for-marriage kind of guy, and he’s got practical reasons — the strength difference between a vampire and a human means it’s easy for somebody (the human) to get accidentally hurt.

I felt like my slim legs would break in half and my heart expanded like a big balloon. 

Can’t say that I either understand or relate to that.

I fell his hand sliding softly down my neck an underneath my top. 

By this point I think we’ve moved beyond “tempation.”

He stoked my breasts for a few minutes and his man-carrot standing in action and hard as a rock against my legs. 

His… man-carrot. What a fic this is!

And then he ripped my top and pulled it of me and doped it on the floor. 

I can’t really say anything to make this sillier except that I think all this is still happening in the locker room of a public high school. Also they just met.

We made out for 10 minutes and then he tried to take of my bra but I pushed him away suddenly thinking WTF Tiaa are you just gonna let this total stranger take your cloths off in school where anyone could see you? 

It took her ten minutes to think of this? I mean… I’ll cut her some slack, they are (presumably) alone, she’s only sixteen, and she’s very attracted to this guy. But c’mon, how did it take her this long to think “wait a minute, maybe it’s bad to engage in foreplay at school with a guy I just met who is dating somebody else”?

I'd never let a guy kiss me before or touch me and suddenly I was letting this cheating sicko with a FRICKIN GF grope me just cause he was uber hawt with sexoy hair and cold as death! 

Why is his coldness being treated as a selling point here?

I was acting like a biatch and a slut and I was suddenly very ashamed of my actions.

To be fair, she didn’t really do anything. He instigated, and she just… went along with it, I guess. I wouldn’t be that ashamed. He’s the one with the girlfriend.

-BASTARD! Never touch me again!" i gapsed

"If thou thinks thou can keep thou hands of me!" he answered all smug, and I couldn't believe how he made me feel so angry and so aroosed at the same time. 

I too think it’s hot when random boys start undressing me in public and then act like it’s my fault somehow while speaking in bad Ye Olde English! So aroosing!

(I’m joking. Please no one do this to me. I will call my lawyer.)

At that moment I'd never HATED anyboy more in my whole life and the worst part of it was he was SO FREAKIN HAWT I was totally creaming my panties and he NEW it, this was horible! 

Really didn’t need to know the panties bit.

I felt disguised with myself and turned to leave.

"Wait! I need to speck to thee! I no your secret tiaa"he said in a quiet voce gassing into my eyes "your one of my kind. who made thee ?are you part of a coven or on thou own?

So Edward thinks Tiaa’s a vampire? While that could potentially explain some things, it also raises a hell of a lot more questions.

Like… maybe Edward felt justified in coming on strong thinking Tiaa was a vampire and therefore on equal footing with him (as opposed to how he acts with Bella). Doesn’t really fit with his character, but I’ll go with it. But Tiaa doesn’t appear to be a vampire, and so this… complicates things. A lot.

Vampires, in the Twilight world and in most myth, don’t age, yet Tiaa claims to have had a normal (albeit bad) childhood and to be only sixteen chronologically. Maybe she’s an unreliable narrator, but, if so, why is she pretending to be human, and why pull a reveal this early in the story? It also doesn’t explain her lack of other vampiric traits; she hasn’t talked about craving blood or even smelling it, her eyes are blue (Twilight vamps have black eyes when hungry, red after feeding on humans, or gold after feeding on animals), and she has no superhuman ability that we know of. 

I guess Edward really can’t read her mind, or he’d know she’s not a vampire, but why isn’t he bothered at not being able to get a read on her? And are we really supposed to believe Tiaa is just so extraordinarily beautiful that a vampire assumed she was also a vampire? Because… wow.

"what-is said sharply -dude your insane! And you freakin SMELL! (he didnt really smell but I didnt no what else to say!)

Wow, owned.

"thy a CAMPIRE tia! 

Gay vampire who’s into drag and musical theater?

a VAMPIRE! 

Which is it?

BUT WHY CAN'T I READ THOU MIND? 

Oh, he actually is bothered by that. Got it. I thought the author had forgotten Edward can read minds. Sorry, BeckyMac666, I don’t give you enough credit.

I THOUGHT BELLA WAS THE ONLY ONE BUT HERE THOU ARE! WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEEEEAN!"

He punched the wall with his buckly fist and shouted suddenly furious and his eyes flickered red.

Isn’t Buckly Fist the guy who writes Ctrl+Alt+Del?

I schlepped him hard across the face and tried to leave but he caught my waste and as I struggled and tried to hit him again he caught my hand in mid air and hammed me against the wall where his hand had already made a huge dint in the wall. 

Good fight scene. I like that she schlepped (made a reluctant or arduous journey) him across the face rather than slapped him across the face. And that he hammed (overacted) her against the wall rather than slammed her against the wall. And… all the other typos.

His face was blunt and right heavy in mine. 

Dunno what this means but it sounds a bit British.

My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs and he drubbed over in pan. 

Massive throbbing gigglestick.

I.

Wow.

Good fic.

I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me.

There’s a lot going on here and none of it makes sense but it’s all rather evocative.

"TIAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOOO!"he screamed after me tearing his shrit of himself in fury and throwing it over my eyes. 

Why did he throw his shirt over her face? Dude’s superhumanly fast! He could have just grabbed her if he wanted! Also, he thinks she’s a vampire, and a shirt definitely wouldn’t slow her down if she was one!

I lost my sight and was behind me breathing into my ears.

Interesting mental image.

"i'm sorry tiaa" he wimpered sadly picking me up off the floor and gazing mutely into my eyes "i didnt mean to rut thee! 

“Rut” as a verb refers to a mating ritual that deer and some other mammals engage in. It’s not actual mating, or anything similar to what Tiaa and Ewdard just did; it’s when males fight each other for access to females. So far as I know, this is not a Ye Olde Worde for Sex or Rape or Throwing Your Shirt Over Someone’s Head.

I'm so contemptuos! I APOLOGIZE! THIS IS JUST SO WEIRD!"

I mean… yeah, he’s not wrong.

"YOUR so frickin weird you mean!" I snaped whitely as he lay on the floor so hawt and crying with his shirt off with his pippling body. 

Hoping that “snaped” is a “My Immortal” reference.

I wanted to forgive him for calling me a vampire(VAMPIRE! I'd heard that one before from preppy losers asking if I sleep in a coffin and suck blood like LETSAT just cause I like eyeliner and listen to Linken Park)and making fun of me and trying to force me against the wall and maybe plunder my crevises but i didnt. 

I actually like the detail here. A goth girl assuming that she’s being called a vampire not in a literal sense but as a comment on her fashion is… kind of funny.

Not gonna comment on that innuendo because honestly I don’t think I can say anything to make it more absurd.

I left him crying on the floor and went to find my class. As I entered math class i suddenly droped my bocks again as a flashing pain burned in my left hand as my brithmark glinted gold for a second (NO JOKE!)then I fell over. 

It’s a good thing you said “no joke.” I would have assumed you were joking otherwise. Y’know, the old “my scar is glowing gold!” gag.

The pain was suddenly gone and some weirdo blond freak called Eric was helping me up and staring at me like a pervo rapist. I kicked him in the sholder (kung fu babie!)as he gazed longingly after me. 

I’d maybe be more inclined to side with Tiaa on this one if she hadn’t just went along with it when a strange boy made sexual advances towards her. This dude just helped her to her feet while looking at her weird. And, to be fair, she’s not wearing a shirt.

In his frickin dreams. I sat down at the back of the class unable to think about anythin but my weird enconter with edward cullen, wondering what it all could mean.

I think it means you’re in a badfic? Could be wrong.

AN what do u think PLEASE R n R?.BIG SHoutout 2 my friend abigail gud luk for 2moro!)did u see i put the man-carrot thing in!) LMAO! Also love 2 tiffi & rach(and zaccibaby of corse!) LOVE U GUYZ SO MUCH!X X X beckymac x x

If anyone knows what language this is PM me the translation.

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment! Will Edward give in to tempation? Oh, wait, he already did, never mind.

Next chapter