#MY MUSCLE DELUSIONS!!! ARE NO MORE DELUSIONS!!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

damneddamsy · 8 days ago

Text

falling | joel miller x fem!oc (part iv)

Summary: It's a day out on the town, and Jackson has much more to offer than just a home and traded goods. Perspective, comfort, and a nice helping of lovesickness—all of which catch Joel's eye.

a/n: did you know you can only mention fifty people in a post? that's just plain boring. and no more than five people in a comment? RUDE. and did anyone else see that SNL episode with Pedro and his hip thrusts, and just fucking die? yeah, me too. also - i had so much FUN writing this chapter, the feels, the angst, the yearning, the loooove. thank you all so much, and I hope you like this long ass chapter!

Joel didn’t like looking in the mirror for too long.

It wasn’t vanity—never had been—but it showed too much. Told the truth in ways he didn’t much care for. The deep lines, the greying scruff, the years stacked on top of each other like weathered wood, each one heftier than the last. He preferred the delusion, the easy forgetfulness that came with living day to day, not thinking too hard about the good ol' days or how much he wished time hadn't gotten his hands on him. But today?

Well, today he damn near felt good in his own skin.

The clothes, that Leela generously offered, helped. Goddamn, they smelled amazing. Fresh. Worn but not ragged. The denim was sturdy but soft, the fleece underlayer warm and snug. The shearling jacket fit like something out of another life—one where he had more time, where he cared about how he looked. Even his boots, though a little tight, made him feel like he was standing taller. He couldn't even pronounce the brand of the damn thing—French apostrophes, all that fancy bullshit—but whatever it was, it smelled nice, felt nice.

Oh, for sure: Ellie was bound to give him shit. Tommy even more so.

But really... he couldn't give a flying fuck. Today he felt like he was Joel from Texas again. Like he wasn’t some worn-down relic with a bad knee and a worse past.

On the note of Leela, the big, white house across the street was officially back in order. Finally functional after hours of wrestling with the complex fucking wiring, one of the few cons of such a massive home. Not that it had been much of a fight after the resident brainiac showed up—Leela had already pinpointed the problem in minutes and quietly rattled it off like it was second nature. All he had to do was be her muscle, follow along and weld it. It was more attractive than any love or sex this world had to offer.

Catching his reflection again in the front mirror of Leela's home, Joel ruffled the front of his hair, combing down the longer strands at the back, brushing at his jaw, at the scruff that had grown heavier these days, adjusting the collar, smoothing out the sleeve.

He hadn’t meant to get this caught up in it, hadn’t meant to feel this—what, good? Yeah, good. Christ, what a joke.

He’d just turned to grab Maya's baby blanket off the couch, the breathy voice from the stairs made him stiffen.

“Jesus, Joel.”

He looked up.

Leela was halfway down the staircase, cradling Maya against her chest. She wasn’t wearing the usual loose nightgowns or sweats she’d holed herself up in for months. No, this time, she was in clean, fitted jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt in that same soft blue he liked on her. Her hair was brushed smooth down her back, tucked behind her ears, not tangled and loose like usual.

For the first time, he really saw her. Not just the soft, exhausted mother. Not just the lonely woman who never let anyone too close. Her. Tall and breathtaking. Arch calves, thighs, the swell of her hips, the softness at her love handles that hadn’t quite gone away after childbirth.

And because life had a twisted sense of humour, because the moment was already damn near suffocating from seeing her, she had to go and hit him with—

“I thought you were my dad from the back.”

Joel took that one like a sucker punch straight to the gut. He had to fight the instinct to wince, to let it show. At least she didn’t say granddad, he reasoned, trying to patch up what little was left of his dignity. Small mercies.

He exhaled, fixing his fist into the coat pockets, forcing himself to smirk. “Yeah? He must’ve been one hell of a good-lookin’ guy.”

Leela huffed out a laugh, resting the baby’s cheek against her shoulder. “He loved suede. A huge show-off.”

“Well,” he drawled, tugging at the sleeve, “that's where we disagree. At least the man had taste.”

“He also loved polka-dots,” she pointed out.

He clicked his tongue. “I take the fifth, thanks.”

That earned him another laugh, light and easy, like he’d actually said something funny. He didn’t think too hard about how that was probably all he was to her—just some seasoned guy lending a hand. A reliable acquaintance. Nothing more, nothing less.

But then, feeling excluded, Maya let out a breathless little giggle—one of those soft, airy sounds she always seemed to save just for him—and he feared for whatever was left of his soul, crushing.

Maya was grinning up at him, tiny fists wriggling in her mittens, legs kicking against Leela’s side, looking like a baby worth a thousand pictures in a camera. Bundled up in a white cotton onesie, all warm and snug, her beanie perched on her head with those stupid little ears sticking up like a baby bear. Everything was a size too big like she was still growing into the world.

Joel clutched at his chest, mock-staggering back. “You’re breakin’ my goddamned heart, doll,” he murmured, unable to resist a toothy grin, as he held out his arms for her. “Look at you. C’mere, beautiful girl. G'morning.”

Maya squirmed excitedly, tiny mitten-clad hands grasping the air, and as Joel habitually pressed a warm kiss into her cheek, tempted to steal four more, he caught a glimpse of the gold ‘L’ embroidered on the chest of the onesie. Leela’s old hand-me-down that had survived the test of time.

“Lost an eardrum trying to get her into that,” Leela admitted.

She shook her head but passed Maya over, cracking her knuckles absently as she stretched out her arms, unease becoming her. He adjusted Maya against his side, settling her little weight against him. That was her seat for the rest of the day today.

Then, as if debating something, she asked, “Do you really think it’s fine? Bringing her outside? I'm worried she'll fall sick or...”

Joel arched a brow. “I told you. You’re not goin’ there without me, and Maya’s not goin’ anywhere without either of us.”

Leela chewed on that, still unsure.

Maria had been insistent about her showing up, about giving her insight into the lightning harvester with workers—the innovation she’d designed, the one they were planning to station right outside the dam. The whole quadrant was already in progress, groundwork was being laid, and people getting involved. The biggest project Jackson had taken on in a long while.

Even after Joel had warned Maria that Leela was banged up and still on the mend, she'd cherry-picked the argument and cornered him by labelling him an 'overbearing son of a bitch who was getting on her last nerve'. He'd essentially shut up after that since Maria still scared him witless.

"Look, I've got the kid. You do your thing," Joel said, adjusting Maya as she wriggled against him. "I'll just hang back at the square with Tommy and the rest, stay close by. I'll check up on you after."

Leela pressed her lips together, clearly thinking it over.

Joel tried his hand at persuasion. “Y'know, you've been holed up here for three months.”

Leela blinked. Like she was only just realizing it. Her brows furrowed, fingers lifting as she counted—one, two, three. Each number dropped a new rock in Joel’s stomach.

“More, actually.” Her voice was distant like she was doing the math in real time. “I delivered Maya at home. Nearly... eight months now.”

Eight months. Eight months since she’d stepped beyond these walls, since she’d breathed fresh air, and been around people.

He hadn’t let himself think about it before—hadn’t wanted to—but now the image was there, unshakable. Leela, alone. Covered in sweat, spasming in pain. Bloody, weak, feeling like she was dying, like the walls were closing in, like no one in the world could help her. The raw struggle of it.

His stomach turned. No—Maria would’ve made sure she had someone. She had to have. Someone must've heard her.

Joel was aware of what that kind of loneliness did to a person. How it made you shrink, made you start believing that was all there was—that the world outside didn’t need you anymore. And she’d stayed in here. For eight goddamn months. That wasn’t living.

He cleared his throat, forcing the thought away. No use stewing in it.

“Well,” he muttered, his hand reaching for the door handle, “’nuff said. Let’s get this show on the road.”

People in Jackson knew Joel Miller.

Same as Maria. Same as Tommy. They knew him for his angry brow, the way his mouth rarely broke from that grim, set line. They knew the sharpness in his eyes, the way he cut through a room without saying a word. They knew he was a hardass bastard. He didn’t make small talk. Didn’t go out of his way to be liked. He knew he scared off plenty of folks just by standing there, arms crossed, expression set like granite. And that suited him just fine. People left him be.

So seeing him now—walking through town cradling a baby instead of a rifle, with a woman most thought was a ghost at his side—that was gonna be the topic of the damn day.

He could feel the looks, hear the murmurs, the way conversations stuttered as he passed. And he did not give a shit. Let ‘em talk. Let ‘em wonder.

It wasn’t like he was breaking news—his neighbours saw him come and go from her big white house as he pleased. Enough times that people could put two and two together. But this? Out in broad daylight, baby in tow? Now what the hell was going on?

Joel wasn’t the kind of man people expected to be carrying a baby. Much less one that looked at him like he hung the damn moon. And yet, here was Maya, snug against his chest, her tiny fingers curled into his fleece collar, drooling on his coat like it belonged to her.

And Leela—well. She was another matter entirely. She wasn’t just quiet. She was tense. She kept close, but not close enough to touch. Her shoulders were drawn up, her hands flexing and unflexing like she was trying to shake off the feeling of being watched.

And it wasn’t hard to guess why.

People hadn’t seen her in months. Half of Jackson had probably forgotten she even existed. The other half had started whispering about why. Joel had heard it in passing, plenty of rumours. Theories. That she was still sick. That she was holed up with her baby because she was too ashamed to be seen alone. That she was broken, not quite right in the head.

He knew better. He knew she was just trying to get by. Trying to put herself together while holding onto a child that didn’t feel quite like hers yet. And this? Being out here? This was the most out of her comfort zone she’d been in a long time.

Joel kept a steady pace, letting Leela take in what she hadn’t seen in months. He pointed things out as they walked—the grocery store with the fresh carrots now, thanks to the greenhouse. The bar with the good music. The repair shop he visited often. The little barbecue place that always smelled so mouthwatering it was damn near criminal.

He did it all for her. To keep her focused on something else—something that wasn’t the way people watched her. Wasn’t the way she was already winding herself up, bracing for something bad that wasn’t coming.

Joel kept a close eye on her, shifting Maya in his arms, pretending not to notice the way her breathing went uneven. The way she stiffened every time someone got too close. The way she gripped Joel’s elbow a little tighter like she had to remind herself he was still there.

Then, like it was nothing, like this was any other day, he muttered, “Y’ever had barbecue before?”

Leela blinked, like the question startled her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah?” He echoed with a smirk, shifting Maya higher in his arms who was listening to his voice drum in his chest. “That didn’t sound real confident.”

She let out a breath, still gripping his jacket tight. “I have, just… not in a very long time.”

“Well,” he drawled, eyes on the path ahead like this was already settled, “when you’re done with work, I’m takin’ you out. Get you a nice smoked brisket. A big slice of pecan pie with cream. How 'bout it?”

Leela glanced at him, agape. “I don’t... you don’t have to—”

“I know,” he cut in. “I want to.”

She didn’t say anything. A moment later, he felt her hand slip lower, brushing against his wrist. Just a light touch, nothing much. But Joel knew what it meant. The world around her was too much, too fast, too loud. Drowning in the noise of it all.

So, soft and low, he asked, “D’you wanna head inside for a bit?”

Leela barely hesitated. Just nodded once, fast, reaching for Maya like she needed something to anchor herself.

But Maya wasn't having it at all. She whined a stubborn noise, little hands grasping at Joel’s coat, face burrowing into the material, refusing to be handed off when she had just gotten cosy.

And maybe Joel imagined it—but he thought he saw something in Leela’s eyes splinter, that little rejection cutting deeper than it should’ve. A flicker in her dark eyes she buried quick. It looked a hell of a lot like hurt.

But she didn’t say anything. Didn’t react. Just let her hands fall, face blank and turned for the closest door.

Joel followed without a word, close enough, an arm outstretched around her, never touching, his presence simply a buffer between her and the rest of the world.

Inside, it was quiet. The clothing store, he quickly realized. The shelves were full but mismatched, stocked with whatever could be traded, salvaged, or repurposed. Nothing had price tags—Jackson ran on barter. Jackets, boots, canned food, and old records. Everything was up for negotiation. You talked it out with the shopkeep and settled on a fair deal.

Leela didn’t say a word. Just let out a slow, shuddering breath, stepping into a corner aisle, hidden away, and pressing her slick palms against the wooden shelf.

Joel watched her quietly, stroking Maya's back. Eight months locked up in that house, barely speaking to a soul. Now, she is back in the thick of it, remembering how to breathe in open air. No wonder, she looked like she was trying to find her footing. It made sense; people forgot how to be around people.

It was something he'd seen before. The way a person stepped out of the dark after too long, how the world suddenly felt like it could swallow them whole. Some folks got jumpy. Some shut down. Leela was somewhere in between—standing still, silent, stiff as a board, like she was trying to keep herself from bolting.

He’d seen that before, too.

Her fingers curled into the edge of the shelf at her back, grip tightening, knuckles white. She shut her eyes, breathing slow, deliberate—like she was trying to disappear inside herself. Trying to access some space within herself where the world wasn’t pressing in on her.

Yeah. He knew that look all too well now. She was trying not to cry.

Joel shifted his weight, glancing down at Maya, who was blissfully unaware, busy gumming the edge of a scarf she’d pulled off the shelf.

He cleared his throat. “Hey.”

Leela flinched—not much, just a little twitch of her shoulders—but it was enough to tell him that, for a second, she’d forgotten where she was. She blinked, pulling back from wherever she’d gone in her head, and looked at him.

Joel didn’t do the whole let's-address-this-nonsense, so he reached for the first thing that might pull her back. He grabbed an old record from the shelf and held it up. “Wanna put that fancy record player to use?”

Her expression softened instantly. She reached for the record, fingers tracing the edges like she was handling something precious. He eventually noticed the label—The Beach Boys, Wild Honey. What was with him, her and the sixties music?

“I have this one,” she mumbled.

An unsurprising turn of events. “’Course you do.” Joel sighed, sliding it back onto the shelf. "Hard to spoil a rich girl.”

She huffed out a laugh, tired, but at least it was real. She picked up a cloudy snow globe next, giving it a shake, eyes tracking the upending snow inside. “Don’t care for money anymore.”

Joel watched her, watched the way her fingers moved over the glass, trying to wipe away the dust. The way her shoulders had started to relax, just a little. He figured now was a good time for a distraction.

He tipped his chin at her. “You’re sittin’ on a gold mine, darlin'. You got salt. Basil or whatever.”

Her head tilted. "Seasoning makes me rich?"

"You ever eaten twenty years’ worth of QZ ration packs?" He scoffed, thumbing through the record covers. "Tryin’ to remember what real food tastes like while chewing expired crap they call 'dehydrated bolognese'?"

She actually laughed at that—not a breathy little huff, but a real laugh, short and amused. Then her eyes picked up that spark, a sharpness brightening her. “I make my own salt, actually. It’s a chemical reaction. It's fascinating, the sedimentation from caustic soda and—”

Joel lifted a hand to interrupt her, making a 'whoosh' motion over his head. “Alright, you lost me at ‘chemical.’ But if you got some to spare, I'd love to start saltin' my eggs in the morning.”

Her grin widened, but before she could respond, the door clattered open.

Maria swept in like a windstorm, hardly stepping inside, just enough to hold the door open. Clipboard in hand, she scanned the shelves, eyes flicking from one thing to the next, already onto whatever task she had next.

When she finally spotted Leela, she barely paused. “C’mon, kid, people are waiting for you. Let’s go.”

Leela stiffened, a shallow breath catching in her throat.

Joel caught the way her fingers tightened around the snow globe. The way her gaze flickered toward the door, then away just as fast—like she couldn’t look at it too long like it was something too bright, too overwhelming. She had just started breathing again.

He was about to say something—tell Maria to give her a damn minute, at least—but Leela nodded at her before he could get a word out. “I’ll be right there.”

But he saw the way her throat worked, how her hands wouldn’t quite let go of the shelf behind her. Then, she glanced back at him. A flicker. Hesitation. Like she was searching for something—a push, a reason to stall.

Joel had no goddamn clue what to do with that. Flash her a thumbs-up? Offer some dopey, generic shit like, “You got this”? None of it seemed right.

Maya—still happily oblivious, still gnawing on that damp, probably filthy scarf—grinned up at her mother with a gurgle, all gums and trouble. Her small hand finally reached out to her mama like her own little vote of confidence.

Leela’s expression softened, melting at that. She pressed a kiss to Maya's mitten, cupped her cheeks, and pressed another kiss to her head, lingering for a moment, breathing her in. “Don’t miss me too much, baby girl.”

And Joel—who was just holding the kid, who had nothing to do with that kiss—felt it all the way to his goddamn toes, until he curled them tight.

His throat closed when Leela straightened, and before he could react, she reached out, squeezing his shoulder. A quick thing, warm, shocking and grounding, there and gone.

“Take care of her, Joel,” she murmured.

She didn’t wait for a response. Didn’t hesitate this time. Just turned and walked toward the door, already steeling herself for whatever was waiting outside. Maria scarcely gave Joel a second glance as she hooked an arm around Leela’s shoulder, guiding her down the street, toward the dam.

Joel let out a slow breath through his nose, shifting Maya in his arms. Take care of her. Like that was even a question.

So, this was it. Joel hadn’t done something like this in a long time.

Running errands. Moving through town without it being about work, about survival, about making sure no one was about to freeze or starve. Just walking, going slow, letting himself ease into the rhythm of a day.

It was stupid how much he liked it. Maybe it was Maya in her room that was his arms, the warmth of her little body tucked up against him, the soft sighs and quiet sounds she made as she drifted in and out of sleep on his chest. Maybe it was the feeling of just being—going from place to place with no rush, no urgency, no reason to keep his hand near a weapon. It had been a while since he felt this liberated.

And yet, for all that, it was also the most uncomfortable he’d ever been. Because everywhere he went, people noticed him.

Or more specifically, they noticed her.

Maya was the newest baby in town, and in a place like Jackson—where everyone kept track of every fucking thing—that meant she was an instant celebrity.

It started at the main square. Joel had barely stepped inside before an older woman behind the counter lit up, clasping her hands together. “Oh, well, would you look at that.” She leaned forward, peering at Maya like she was a new puppy. “Aren’t you just the prettiest little thing?”

Joel braced. He was never good at shit like this—casual conversation, polite interactions. But he was prepared to nod, maybe mutter something noncommittal. Didn’t get the chance.

Before he could step away, the woman moved in.

“Can I see her?” She was already reaching like she might touch her, and instinct had Joel stepping back, moving Maya’s weight against his chest, his free hand flexing at his side.

The handsy woman noticed, laughing lightly. “Don’t worry, hon, I won’t take her from you.” But then she looked up, past Maya and her face dropped like a corpse wearing boots. “Oh. Joel.”

Yeah. Exactly. People never approached him. They let him pass, they let him do what he needed to do, and they didn’t ask for more than what was necessary. But now? Now he had her snug to his chest, and people suddenly thought they could get in his space, that they could smile at him like he was one of them.

“Right,” Joel muttered, clearing his throat. He took a step back, putting more space between them. “Gotta—uh. Got things to do.”

And he left before she could say anything else.

But it kept happening. Like having a baby made you instantly likeable. Erased everything that people deemed you unlikeable for.

A pair of young women on the street whispered to each other behind their hands. The Miller baby. Even some guy he didn’t know—a carpenter or a repairman or something—told over his shoulder to his friend while passing him, “Is that the little Miller baby?”

He didn’t answer. It wasn’t. But he hated how the words stuck to his skin, how they lingered. Feeding him false truths.

Maya, for her part, handled the attention in the same way she handled everything. She stared, wide-eyed, for a few seconds before burying her face in his chest, hiding against him.

Which—fair. Joel had the same damn instinct.

After a while, he just stopped slowing down, stopped making eye contact, and stopped acknowledging the people trying to grab his attention. By the time he hit the shop that traded in home goods, his patience was running thin.

He bartered for his coffee first. Priorities. He was low on supply, and he didn’t feel right starting a morning without it. Then, a stop at the shelf where he found some candles. The kind that a hifalutin name, like lavender or some other flower he couldn’t name. He wasn’t proud of what he’d had to trade to get them, but if they helped Leela sleep, he figured it was worth it.

Then, while shifting the baby bag on his shoulder, he saw it—some worn-down, wooden playthings on one of the shelves, a sad little collection of toys no one had much use for.

The kid had nothing. Leela didn’t seem to know enough to engage her in play. Honestly, Maya’s biggest laughs came from him, from just seeing him come in through the door and the way he bounced her when no one was looking. She didn’t have a stuffed animal to chew on, a rattle to shake, nothing. That sat wrong with him.

He reached out, fingers brushing over a carved horse with rounded edges. But before he could test it in his palms, Maya twisted in his arms, a tiny frown forming on her face.

The warning signs.

Joel sighed. “Ah, shit. Really, sweetheart?”

The fussing started slow—grunts, little unhappy noises, fidgeting with her mittens. It was hunger, he knew that much, and he hadn’t exactly planned on stopping somewhere good for it.

He glanced around, eyes landing on the worst place he could think of to feed a baby. He looked up to the sky instead, hoping for some cosmic assistance. Test him, test him, and test him again.

The fucking bar.

Well, then. It should be empty at this time of day. He'll take what is given.

Joel stepped in, scanning the dimly lit space for judgmental stares, the door swinging shut behind him. No one. It smelled like old wood and stale beer, the kind of place that felt settled into itself, like it had been standing for a hundred years and would stand for a hundred more. Even Tommy was behind the counter, rummaging through shelves, looking for something that clearly wasn’t there.

Joel exhaled sharply and shook his head. “Caught you at the right time.”

Tommy barely glanced up. “Look who it is. Papa Joel.” Then he did look, properly this time, and his smirk widened. “And look at you. Hell, you wearin’ cologne?”

Joel grunted, shifting Maya higher in his arms. “Shut up.”

“Not my fault you look—” Tommy gestured vaguely at all of him, “—like you popped outta Sears catalogue.”

Joel scowled. The swanky clothes. Right. But leave it to Tommy to make a damn thing of it.

Instead of answering, he settled onto a stool, already halfway to getting Maya’s bottle ready. She'd gone quiet, watching him move, which was never a good sign. Not for long, anyway.

Joel gently adjusted her in the crook of his arm, tucking the bottle against her lips, and that was it. The instant it was him feeding her, the second she got comfortable, her hands started roaming. She did this thing every single time. Feeling. Grabbing. Claiming.

And today, like always, they landed on the scar on his wrist. That big, pale line that ran jagged up his wrist into his forearm, from a blade that had nearly done more than nick him. A raider that he'd shivved in less than two seconds once the bleeding started.

In cruel irony, Maya was obsessed with it. She smoothed her tiny mitten over it, again and again, like she was trying to figure it out, her hand bare speck against the scar. Then she started digging her little hand into it, gripping it like she could peel it off him like it was something separate from his skin.

If Joel took his arm away when she got her claws in, her hands floated after it, waiting. A small whine, and she even gave up on the bottle.

“What?” he asked her, a single brow arched. “Aren't you hungry?”

She moved her head when he tried to push the sipper against her lips. Little smartass. A small, give-it-back-coo, brows furrowed, fists still waiting within her mittens. He missed seeing those little fingers already.

“Yeah, yeah. I ain’t goin’ anywhere, baby girl,” he sighed, letting her have his hand again. His voice was barely above a rasp, more to himself than anything. Not like she could understand, anyway. But talking to her—talking at her—had become something natural. Like breathing.

Immediately, she latched onto it again, tiny fingers curling around the scar like it belonged to her. Just let it happen. Couldn’t do a damn thing with her around. She had all his attention.

The silence between them stretched, like something Joel could settle into. Maya kept her hold on him, even as she finished eating, even as her round eyelids drooped with sleep.

His free hand, the one that had been absently nursing the cold whiskey glass, came up to trace down her nose. That tiny little twitching nose. She scrunched it at the sensation, gave the smallest little sigh—then she was out. Just like that.

Ahead, Tommy took a sip of his drink, still watching. Not saying anything. Not yet.

Then, after a beat, he sighed. “So, you’re really gonna do this?”

Joel blinked, caught mid-motion, his fingers coming up against the cool glass of his drink. He knew what Tommy's 'this' implied, he didn't even have to point it out. Joel hadn’t thought about it, not in words. Not in the way Tommy was asking. But the question hung there between them, waiting to be acknowledged.

His first instinct was to scoff. Shake his head. Deflect. Like he always did.

But instead, he just sat there.

Maya was still curled against him, warm and impossibly small. Her fingers had loosened in sleep, no longer gripping his wrist so fiercely, but every now and then, she’d twitch, like she was reaching for him even in dreams. Like she knew exactly where she belonged, in the arms that were always ready to catch her.

Joel swallowed, jaw working, eyes fixed on the grain of the counter. He could feel Tommy watching him, waiting.

Then came the shrug. That half-assed, useless shrug. A non-answer, because he wasn’t ready to say it out loud.

Tommy snorted, shaking his head. “Bullshit.”

“Ain’t that simple. You know how it is with her mom.” The words came out rougher than Joel intended like he was trying to shove them between himself and whatever his shitty brother was about to say next.

Tommy, of course, wasn’t buying it. He leaned against the bar, arms folded, giving Joel that look—the one that said he was already ten steps ahead, already seeing straight through the seven layers of crap. Joel hated that damn look.

“It’s already simple,” Tommy said, voice even. “You just don’t wanna admit it.”

Joel scowled, shifting Maya higher in his arms, adjusting her like it was nothing. Like she wasn’t the thing anchoring him in place.

“The hell does that mean?”

Tommy huffed a laugh, shaking his head. Then he just gestured—a lazy flick of his fingers toward Maya, toward the way she was curled into Joel’s chest, tiny and warm and completely at home.

It made Joel pause. The way Tommy was looking at him. The way he didn’t say what he meant, just let the silence speak for itself.

Joel swallowed, jaw tightening.

“It means you already decided,” Tommy finally said. “You’re just waitin’ on someone else to say it first, you pussy.”

Joel’s fingers curled tighter around his drink. A muscle jumped in his jaw. Because Tommy wasn’t wrong. He fucking hated that Tommy wasn’t wrong.

This was what he did. This was how it always went. With Ellie. With Sarah. He didn’t decide—he just let it happen. Let them carve out their space in his life, let them claim him before he ever had the guts to admit it. Because once you said it—really said it—that was it. No taking it back. No pretending you could walk away.

And Maya… she was already there. Already in. And fuck. Tommy must’ve caught the shift in his expression, because his posture eased, his voice dropping into something quieter, something real.

“Y’know,” he said, softer this time. “I’ve missed seein’ you like this.”

Joel exhaled sharply through his nose. “Like what?”

Tommy tilted his head, studying him. “Like you still give a damn.”

Joel scoffed. “That’s real cute, Tommy.”

“I’m serious.”

And Joel knew he was. Could hear it in the way Tommy’s voice had lost its usual sharpness, in the way he wasn’t teasing anymore.

Tommy wasn’t just looking at him now—he was seeing him.

The way Joel had melted into this. How he hadn’t put her down, hadn’t even tried. How his hand, scarred and mangled, still rested against the small of Maya’s back, gently rubbing circles as if he needed to make sure she was still there.

Joel looked away. Something crawled up his spine, sharp and unnameable. He didn’t like being seen. Not like this. Not even by Tommy. So he went for the easiest thing—the simplest way to cut the tension.

A half-hearted mutter. A low, unconvincing, “Yeah, well.”

Tommy’s smirk returned, slow and knowing. “Poetic,” he drawled.

Joel shook his head, finally taking a drink. “You talk too damn much.”

Tommy chuckled, tapping his fingers against his glass. “Yeah, well,” he mimicked before his voice softened again. “You don’t gotta say it, Joel.” He gestured toward Maya, still curled against his chest, safe, home. “You’re already doin’ it. Even if you got fuckin’ old.”

“Guess I had to, didn’t I?” he muttered, adjusting Maya against his chest, making sure her head rested easy against his chest.

Tommy didn’t argue. Didn’t need to. They both knew the truth of it.

Joel had aged in ways Tommy never would, in ways no one who hadn’t lived what he lived could understand. His life had been gunpowder, dirt and blood. But still—there was something about this, about sitting here, not rushing anywhere, not killing anything, not surviving, just existing.

Something about her. She had her little hands on his shirt, curled tight in sleep, and he knew without a doubt that when she woke up, she'd reach for him again.

Yeah, this was what getting old was.

It wasn’t so abnormal anymore, Joel thought, being here like this. A weekend evening, in nice clothes, at a restaurant, beer in hand, sitting around a table with family. Nothing left to rock the boat.

For a long time, this kind of thing had felt impossible. Something for other people. Other lives. Even in Jackson, even after all these years, he still sometimes caught himself expecting the old rhythm—always waiting for something to go wrong.

But here he was. Sitting in a booth at the barbecue joint, letting the warmth of the moment settle in. Maria was talking a mile a minute, Tommy was stretched out beside her, looking half in disbelief, and across from him—Leela cradling Maya, quiet as ever.

Joel took a slow sip of his beer, tearing his eyes off her, half-listening as Maria went off, excitement lighting up her face.

“—seriously, I’ve never seen anything like it,” she was saying, gesturing so wildly she nearly knocked over Tommy’s drink. “Fixed the whole irrigation backup in minutes, Joel! Got the system running smoother than it ever has, and on top of that—this little Einstein somehow managed to work out a whole fucking ration adjustment in the same damn hour.”

Leela’s face went warm. She waved a hand, dismissing it. “It wasn’t that complicated. The whole system just needed a pressure bypass to reduce cavitation in the main feed lines. And the rationing—honestly, it was just a matter of optimizing caloric allotments based on intake efficiency per household.”

A stunned hush.

Tommy blinked. Joel just stared in amazement. Maria narrowed her eyes like she was trying to do the math in her head.

“Right,” Tommy finally muttered, dragging his drink closer to safety. “I totally knew what all that meant.”

Joel huffed a laugh, shaking his head. And a little proud of her. “Christ.”

Leela frowned, looking between them. “It's all just calibration.”

Maria snorted, nudging Tommy. “I think that just proved her point.”

She was surpassing expectations with Maria fuckin' Miller. That had got to count for something. It was rare, too, to watch her this spirited, this excited. Even rarer that Tommy wasn’t the loudest one at the table.

"Well," Tommy said, smirking as he raised his glass. "Guess it's good to have a genius in your corner sometimes."

Joel smirked too, but his gaze flickered sideways again, back to Leela. He couldn't help himself to another look, and another, and another. Total headcase conduct.

But she wasn’t looking at any of them. She sat beside him, holding Maya close, not engaging much, just keeping her eyes down, drifting between the door and Maya in her bouncing lap. Every now and then, she’d offer a thin, polite smile—one of those distant ones, not real, not reaching her eyes. Present, but not fully there.

Joel noticed it all. The way she sat just a little too stiff, the way her fingers fidgeted lightly against Maya’s back. The way her shoulders didn’t fully relax, even though she was surrounded by people she trusted. She was clearly still agitated with something. Maybe the attention? The restaurant? The smell of the food? Perhaps Maya? Or was it himself?

Joel sipped his beer and let his eyes linger on her for a second longer, about to change the subject, before Tommy—that big-mouthed bastard—broke the moment.

“Leela’s birthday’s comin’ up in a few days, right?” he said, nodding toward Joel like he expected him to confirm. “You two got plans?”

Joel damn near choked. He shot Tommy a glare so sharp it could’ve gutted a man. Wanted to kick him square in the balls. What was this little shit implying? And her birthday? He didn’t even know. Then again, he wasn't big on celebrations anyway.

Leela, to his relief, didn’t seem to care much. She just shook her head. “No plans.”

Maria, of course, had other ideas. Plans. To put that unused, exquisite dining room in her home to good use.

“Dinner, then,” she announced, already scheming, her face bright with it. “Your place. You don't have to lift a finger, the menu’s on me.”

Leela hesitated. “Um...”

Joel was ready to witness Maria take a licking for the first time ever. He could see the wheels turning in Leela's head, the way her fingers curled into Maya’s blanket. She looked down at the baby, who was happily slapping her little hands against the table, amusing herself, laughing that hiccuping laugh, at the sound.

Joel couldn’t help but smile. He reached out, brushing his knuckles over Maya’s chin, and she let out a delighted squeal, and tried to catch his hand before he returned it to his glass.

Leela exhaled, barely a smile on her lips, blindsiding him with: "I think that'd be nice. I could make something, too. With seasoning." And she flashed a knowing grin at Joel.

He bit his smile into the rim of his beer glass, meeting her eye. "Amen."

“Sweet,” Tommy grinned. “I’ll let Ellie know.”

When the food arrived in a leering waitress's arms, Joel didn’t touch his plate right away. He was too busy looking at Tommy’s. A full rack of ribs, juicy, glistening with sauce, looking like the best damn thing on the table. Regret burned in his gut.

Tommy, the smug shithead, was already smirking, rolling back his sleeves. “Something wrong, big brother?”

Joel grunted, reaching for his beer instead of dignifying that with an answer. His brother had no one to impress, Maria was well-versed in Tommy-isms. Joel had played it safe. Ribs were messy. Hands-on. Fucking delicious. If he were alone, or if it was just Tommy, he’d be going to town on them.

But with Maya switching from his lap to Leela's lap half the time? With Leela, this smart, stunning girl, sitting beside him, barely eating, her shoulder brushing his every now and then? He’d gone for the safe, decent option. A nice slab of brisket. Neater. Quieter. Civil. Less of a goddamn spectacle.

Across from him, Maria was already chatting about something—town expansion, hydroponics for the greenhouse, that kind of thing. Leela was listening, but not really. Not engaging entirely. Her gaze stayed down, distracted.

And then there was Maya. For all her adorableness, she was being an absolute menace. Squirming. Reaching. Grabbing. Her big eyes were all stubborn, yet curious. Joel felt her shifting in Leela’s lap, wiggling against her arm, determined to smack her little hands onto her mother's plate.

“Maya, please,” Leela whispered, exasperated, nudging her hands away. Even positioning her farther on her lap.

Of course, it didn’t work. Maya let out a loud, insistent whine—real dramatic-like. Another scream of objection, fists squeezed like she was throwing a fit, and smacking for the plate again.

Maria chuckled. “Kid’s got some lungs on her.”

Leela huffed a small, tired laugh, but Joel could see her struggle even if it was hilarious. Trying to keep handsy Maya at bay while attempting to cut her steak one-handed. She wasn’t doing a great job of it. Fork in one hand, knife awkwardly angled in the other, barely making progress.

Joel didn’t think about it. Didn’t need to.

He just reached over and swapped their plates. Simple. Quiet. Didn’t make a thing of it. Just slid his brisket—already cut—toward her, nudging it a little farther from Maya’s reach.

Leela stilled. And glanced up at him, astonished.

Joel kept his eyes on his own plate, reaching for his knife. Shrugged, like it was nothing. “Go on,” he urged. “The best thing you'll put in your mouth.”

Tommy cleared his throat, catching onto the innuendo. Joel imagined sticking his knife into his eye.

Leela hesitated. Then, after a beat, he heard the soft clink of her fork against the plate as she speared a piece. A grateful smile came alive on her face while she chewed, a genuine one. He'd learned to tell the difference now.

“Thank you, Joel,” she nodded.

Joel nodded back, a tight smile stretching on his lips. Took a bite from his plate. There was nothing else to be said. The message was clear: I've got you.

Oh, Joel didn’t miss the looks either. Maria’s subtle smirk behind her glass. Tommy’s full-blown, shit-eating grin. The two of them watched like they were studying a goddamn exhibit every time Joel so much as glanced at Leela or reached out for Maya.

Fuck them. He ignored it all, chewing through another bite of steak, keeping his focus where it needed to be. Maya was calm now. Full belly, busy little hands—playing with his own hand now, like it was her favourite toy in the world. Leela, finally eating without interruption, though still too quiet.

Joel didn’t say a damn word about any of it. Even when Maria started up again.

“What I'm saying is, that the town’s growing,” she said, wiping her mouth. “More people settling in every month. It’s getting to the point where we’re running low on homes.”

That got Joel’s attention. His chewing slowed, a sliver of suspicion creeping in. Tommy wasn’t looking at him. That was the first red flag that he'd learned from one of the more recent dinners in the Miller household.

“Couple of new families coming in next week,” Maria continued. “One’s got three kids. You believe that? Haven’t had that many young ones in Jackson in a long time.”

Joel grunted. More people. More mouths to feed. Meant the town was growing, sure—but also meant more risk. Running this place with a tight ship was already starting to show. And Maria wasn’t done.

“Thing is, if we keep expanding at this rate, we’ll have to start repurposing old homes.”

There it was. Joel was halfway through his beer when he heard more of this.

“You know, Joel,” Tommy started his tone too goddamn casual to be anything but questionable. “If push comes to shove, we could always put your place up for new tenants.”

Joel’s grip tightened on his glass. He didn’t blink. Didn’t look at Tommy right away. Just kept chewing slow, steady, like he hadn’t heard a thing.

Because he knew what this was. He knew Tommy and that arrogant little edge in his voice, the way Maria was staying too quiet, swirling her drink like she wasn’t waiting for impact.

It was a set-up. Fishing. Looking for a reaction. Confirming some inside hunches. And Maria took the shot before he could load his own.

“We’d put you up at ours, sure enough,” she said, breezy, easy.

“No kidding. You're family, can't just chuck you on the street as much as I want to,” Tommy added, mockingly, grinning like a jackass.

Joel set his drink down with a little too much pressure, the sound a noisy thud. Finally, finally, he levelled a look at Tommy. He didn't need to say a damn thing. Because whatever was on his face? It was enough.

Tommy coughed, glancing away as if he felt the heat of it. He knew what would follow if he spoke another word. Maria, to her credit, held his stare, only raising an eyebrow.

Joel’s jaw flexed, real slow. The urge to tell them both to go straight to hell was right there, burning at the back of his throat. And he would have. Would’ve shut the whole damn thing down, hard. But before he could, Leela beat him to it with—

“I have spare rooms in my place,” she said, casually. Like she was discussing the weather. “If that happens, Joel could take one. Stay as long as he wants.” She used Maya's arm to motion a wave. “Maya would love that, too.”

More silence. She was just full of surprises today, wasn't she?

Tommy, who had been bracing for impact, looked like he’d tripped over his own damn feet. Maria, mid-drink, paused. Chewed on her cheeks. Like she was recalibrating the entire situation.

And Joel? He didn't even know what to do with that. For a second, all he could do was stare at Leela, completely gobsmacked. What she'd suggested was to take it to the next level, in the most casual way. Yeah, just stay with me and my kid, forever, I guess. Doesn't matter.

Leela didn’t look up. Didn’t seem to notice what she’d said. She just kept wiping at Maya's mouth and hands who'd started to entertain herself by blowing raspberries, and bouncing her gently like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Joel exhaled through his nose. A slow, heavy thing. “It's all a big 'if',” he muttered, edged with finality.

Maria recovered first. Pulled a face that said she was perfectly fine with it. “Yep.”

Tommy, still catching up, pressed his lips together. “Just wanted to make sure of something,” he muttered. “Pretty sure now.”

Joel didn’t ask what. Just picked up his beer again, and took a slow, measured sip. His glare at Tommy, though? Firmly in place.

They left the restaurant together, in cackles of laughter that was at the expense of Joel's face, making their way up the same street where their homes resided, boots crunching against the frozen dirt road. The air was sharp, biting, but Joel barely felt it.

Maya had run herself ragged. After all her theatrics inside—her constant wriggling, the battle for the damn steak, the way she’d made herself known to the entire damn restaurant—she’d finally given in.

“You feelin' cold, baby?” he murmured.

She was in his arms now, bundled up and warm, her bunny-ear beanie snug over her head. Her tiny nose was red from the cold, her cheek pressed against the fabric of his jacket, picking at a loose lint on his sweater. He tucked closer, safer, pressing a warming kiss into her sleepy head.

Joel caught up with Maria before she could reach Tommy and Leela ahead. His breath came out in slow, even puffs, but inside, he felt a little less steady. Hadn’t planned on asking. Hadn’t even realized it was sitting there, coiled tight in his chest, until the words were already forming.

"Hey," he said lowly, his voice carrying that weighted kind of hesitation. "Can we talk?"

Maria arched a brow before smirking. "If you’re about to chew me out, it was Tommy’s idea. You know we haven’t had new people settle in for months."

Joel barely registered it. Just shook his head. Not about that.

His gaze flicked toward Leela’s back—small, quiet steps beside Tommy’s like she wasn’t all the way there. His jaw tightened before he spoke. Carefully.

"At the dam today." He paused, feeling the words thick on his tongue. "Did she seem… alright to you? Seem a little off?"

That smirk faded. Maria exhaled, her face shifting into something more careful. "Wouldn’t stay in the room with all the workers," she admitted. "Spooked her out. After that, I just let her stick by my side in the office."

Joel frowned.

"Must’ve been a trigger," Maria added, quieter now.

He only nodded. He didn't need to say what they both already knew.

He watched Leela a little longer, the way her hands stayed tucked inside her coat sleeves, the way she wasn’t engaging much with Tommy’s easy conversation. There was something… too still about her.

"She’s been quiet all night," he muttered, mostly to himself.

Maria nudged him lightly. "She’ll be fine, Joel. Baby steps."

Joel pressed his lips together. He wasn't a believer in the process of baby steps. Either you healed or you rotted in the filth of guilt or devastation for the rest of your life.

Maria gave him a sideways glance, one of those knowing looks. "You look good together."

Joel let out a breath. Not quite a scoff. Not quite anything. "Thought lawyers didn’t bullshit," he muttered.

Maria shrugged easily. "I don't. Sure, you’re," she cleared her throat, shooting him a look. "Let’s say ‘well into your prime’—and she’s… not. But I can tell she trusts you absolutely."

Joel said nothing. Only bit down the small grin that broke through his lips, staring at his boots. Coming from Maria, point-blank like that, it meant a lot.

Up ahead, Tommy was acting like he hadn’t just pulled that shit back in the restaurant, talking easy, hands in his pockets, like he was the picture of innocence.

Joel narrowed his eyes. Yeah, alright. That jagoff needed to be put in his place.

He picked up his pace, stepping just ahead of Tommy, and without breaking stride, swept his leg out.

Tommy didn’t even get a chance to balance before he was airborne—arms flailing, momentum carrying him forward—a sad, "What the fuck!"—then crashing face-first into the snow with a solid thud.

Maria burst out laughing. Full-on, bent-over, hands-on-her-knees laughing. Leela, though—she gasped, her eyes going wide, clearly more horrified than she needed to be.

Joel just kept walking, adjusting Maya, who let out a startled little giggle like she understood the exact kind of justice that had just been served.

"Fuckin' deserved it," he grumbled.

Maya was bawling at the big white house’s door, tiny fists clutching his shirt like letting go might break her little heart. And maybe it would—maybe that’s why Joel hesitated, his hands hovering at her back, torn between unwinding her grip and holding her tighter. Damn it, he didn’t want to go, either.

If he peeled her off him and stepped away, she’d do the sweetest thing that always got him—cover her eyes with her hands like she’d seen her mother do, weeping like his leaving was the greatest tragedy of her small world.

“He’ll come back tomorrow, Maya,” Leela tried, rubbing absently at her belly. “He has to sleep, too.”

Maya wasn’t convinced. She wriggled in her mother’s hold, stretching her arms out toward Joel, demanding, no—pleading—to be held. Then she wailed, loud and unrestrained, the kind of cry that could bring a whole street to a standstill.

Joel exhaled, a smile creeping onto his face despite himself. God, this girl was breaking his heart.

Leela shifted Maya against her chest and patted her back. “Do you want to stay a while?” Her voice was softer now. “Until she falls asleep?”

Joel didn’t even pretend to hesitate. His arms were already reaching for Maya, lifting her effortlessly out of Leela’s hold. The moment she settled against his chest, her tiny hands fisting into his shirt, her cries turned to hiccups, then sniffles.

“Gonna be a handful when she gets older,” he muttered, pressing a kiss to her damp cheek.

Leela rubbed at her eyes with the heel of her palm, stifling a yawn. “Gosh, please don’t remind me.” She nodded toward the stairs. “I’m gonna get changed. Help yourself to anything.”

Joel watched her retreat up the steps, back hunched with exhaustion. At the landing, she disappeared into the hallway, and he found himself standing there a moment longer than necessary, listening to the creak of the floorboards as she moved through the house. He liked that about her—the way she kept reminding him to make himself at home like she knew he hadn’t quite figured out how to.

Maya was still sniffling, the last remnants of her earlier tears damp against Joel’s shirt. She stirred against him, adjusting in his arms like she was making herself right at home. Safe. Where she belonged.

Joel smoothed his palm over her back and felt the way she breaths puffed against his collar, her little chest rising and falling in a slower rhythm now. She was alright. He did that.

"You missed me already?" he murmured, rubbing a thumb under her damp eye.

She didn’t answer, just breathed out a soft, shuddering coo.

Yeah. That was about what he thought.

He bounced her gently as he moved through the living room, shifting his weight as he glanced around, looking for something to keep her mind off whatever had gotten her so worked up in the first place. His eyes caught on something up on the shelf, half-forgotten.

That record player he'd been gawking at for weeks. Not just any old thing, either. Glass case. Dark mahogany. Expensive. Fancy, like the rest of Leela’s place.

There was already a record inside. Percy Sledge. Gold, fucking gold. The glossy cover sat neatly on the side like someone had meant to come back to it and never did.

Joel exhaled, dusting off the lid before flipping it open. “Haven’t heard this in a long time,” he muttered, mostly to himself. Then, glancing down at Maya, "You wanna hear some music, baby girl?"

Maya blinked up at him, her earlier tears forgotten, and let out that breathless little panting laugh she did when she was excited. Her small hands clapped together in that uncoordinated, barbed motion that made her look like she was still figuring out how her own fingers worked.

Joel grinned. “Yeah, me too.”

He brushed away the dust, set the needle down, and let the music cut through the quiet.

The room filled with the low, honeyed croon of Percy Sledge, velvet-smooth, drifting through the air like something out of a different time.

Joel felt her still in his arms, eyes going wide as she stared at the record player, completely awestruck. Like she was trying to make sense of where the sound was coming from.

He poked a finger into her squishy thigh. “Never heard real music before? You like it?”

Maya was so curious, watching the record spin, producing music, head tilting in that goddamned adorable way of hers, like she was putting all her baby brainpower into figuring it out.

Joel’s chest ached. It was a deep, familiar thing, the kind of ache that came from having too much and knowing it was, perhaps now, all his to keep.

He shifted Maya in his arms, kissing the top of her bunny-eared beanie. She smelled like warm blankets, like home, even though he’d never had a home quite like this before.

"You wanna dance with me, darlin’?"

She gasped, her whole body jerking in excitement, arms flailing like she couldn’t believe her luck. Then came that breathless, hitching laugh—the one that made her whole face crinkle, her tiny chest heaving like she could barely keep up with herself.

He’d never heard her laugh like this before. Was that the first?

So he lifted her high into the air, listening to the way she squealed, legs kicking like she was soaring. That same laugh again—bright, bubbling over, pure sunshine—rang through the room as he pulled her back into his chest, then did it again. Twice. Thrice. Oh, his back was going to pay the piper, but for that laugh, it was fucking worth it.

She was weightless, and for a moment, so was he. The world didn’t feel so heavy when he had her in his arms like this.

His eyes caught on something in the doorway.

Leela. She was watching.

She had changed into that same white nightdress, the one with the pearl buttons he liked more than he should. Loose fabric brushing just above her ankles, a sleeve slipping off her shoulders. She was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded, fingers touching her lips like she was trying to trap the smile already there.

Joel didn’t stop moving, just slowed a little, swaying Maya in his arms, pretending like his chest didn’t feel too goddamn tight at the look on Leela’s face. If he stopped, the moment might end, and he wasn’t ready for that.

Leela wasn’t looking at him, not exactly. Her eyes were on Maya, wondering, at the way she was still laughing, still catching her breath, little fingers clinging to the fabric of Joel’s shirt like her whole world was nothing but him and the feeling of flying.

He'd never had anything like this. Something whole, real, his. Could this moment get any more perfect? And then he had the thought—

He wanted to dance with Leela.

It settled deep in his chest, curling between the cracks. Maybe he’d wanted that for a while now. Maybe that was why his hands always hoped to reach for her when it was without Maya, why his pulse kicked up when she got too close, why he always noticed when she was around—soft, careful, like someone who didn’t want to take up too much space.

He huffed, dipping his head down to whisper against Maya’s temple, his voice all low and warm—"Gotta give your mama a turn, huh?"

He lowered Maya onto the couch, kissing her nose, making sure she was snug, and safe between the sunken cushions. She was already grabbing for her baby blanket, nibbling on the edge of it, still watching him with that shining little grin. That was enough confidence to power him up.

Joel knew better than to ask Leela. Knew better than to want. She’d probably turn him down. Politely. And somehow, that would hurt worse. Brushing him off like a stranger.

But he asked anyway.

He turned around and didn’t say a word—just held out his hands, just a little. Not a grand gesture, nothing obvious, just enough. Just enough that she’d see it, that she’d know. He wants her close.

Leela’s gaze flickered, something changing. Her lips parted, just barely, and for a moment—a long, slow, aching moment—he thought she might step forward, might meet him where he stood. A silly pipedream.

Joel was too goddamn old for his heart to be pounding like this. Like some stupid kid, all restless hands and reckless hope, hoping the girl he liked would share that feeling with him. It had been a long time since someone made him feel like this. Hell, he wasn’t sure he ever had—not like this. Not with something this soft, this easy, this whole.

He blamed that when she looked away, the moment unravelling.

Blamed the gap, the years that stretched between them, the life he’d already lived, the losses already burned into his bones. The grey in his hair, the angry brow, the lines on his face. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Not for him. Not anymore. But then—why did he still want? Why, after all these years, after everything, did he still feel this?

The way his chest clenched when she hesitated. The way his palms itched, waiting, wanting. The way he caught himself hoping—hoping—like some love-struck fool that she might actually step forward.

He exhaled slowly, telling himself it was fine. Telling himself he was being ridiculous. She didn’t owe him anything. He should’ve known better, should’ve kept his hands where they belonged... anyways, what else could he offer her?

And then she did. She moved a little. Leaned off the doorway. A few slow, quiet steps forward. Hands knotted behind her back, shoulders tense, reluctant to give in.

His breath caught in his throat.

She wasn’t looking at him—not at first. Her eyes dipped downward to the boots on his feet, flickering uncertainly, almost like she was working up the nerve to do something.

And then she glimpsed his hands. The callouses. The mangled skin. The years of work, of war, of violence. Of a life that had been anything but easy. The way his fingers curled just slightly like he wasn’t sure if he should be offering them in the first place.

For a moment, she hesitated. And he thought, yeah, that’s about right.

And then—slowly, so slowly—she slipped her hands into his. Her fingers were slender against his, swallowed within his own, cool and soft where his were rough, ruined. It had been so long since anyone had reached for him first.

He didn’t move right away. Just felt it. The way she fit there, the shape of her hands in his, like it wasn’t a mistake. Like she wasn’t regretting it.

All those lifetimes, chipping away parts of him, making space for her hands to be there. And fuck, if that didn’t scare him more than anything.

The scratchy record spun on, Percy Sledge’s voice melting into the room, velvet-smooth. What am I living for, he sang on, if not for you?

Joel swallowed thickly.

Slowly, he guided her hand to his bicep, barely pressing down. She was tense, wound tight like she’d bolt if he moved too fast. So he didn’t.

"You good?" he checked in.

She nodded, glancing up, baring a gentle smile.

His own hand skimmed her hip—ginger, careful—before settling there. He let her other hand hang from his grasp, mid-air, not forcing it, not demanding more than she was willing to give. Leela was stiff against him, like this was too much for her. Like it had been too long for her, too. Like she was afraid of him. Of this. My god, it burned.

So he eased. Dipped his head, rested his nose against her hairline, and just swayed. Joel couldn't cut a rug or shake his hips to save his damn life, but he could feel. And shit, he felt so good.

She was right there. Right where he wanted her, but not as close as he wanted, although he completely dwarfed her. He could feel the tension in her frame, that deep-rooted hesitance like she wasn’t sure she was allowed this.

Joel knew that feeling all too well. So he let her lead without leading. Let her find the pace. Even if it was fucking killing him.

Even though his body ached to pull her closer. Even though his fingers twitched where they rested against her hip, wanting to dig in, to hold, to keep. He wanted her warmth pressed tight to him, her weight resting against his chest. Wanted to feel her relax, not just in body but in heart.

He’d spent years running on instinct, on gut, making quick decisions with deadly precision. But he’d never been this meticulous about anything before.

And then—he felt it. The shift. It wasn’t big, not something he would've noticed a while ago. Now he did. The way her breath came just a little easier. The way her grip steadied, not quite clinging but not pulling away either. She was letting herself be here.

And for the first time in some time—Joel wanted to feel, too.

So he let himself move with her. Not well, not smooth, not anything he’d want anyone else to see. But with her.

She laughed like he'd cracked something open in her, when he pulled her in, twirling her under his arm, snaring her against his chest before she could stumble. She laughed again when he spun her out, her head tipping back, black hair spilling like a dark halo.

"Never been spun around, my ass," he muttered against her hair as he spun her back into him, arms curling around her waist, anchoring her to him. "You're a natural."

Leela laughed, breathless, cheeks flushed. "Practice. Mom and I used to spin around for hours when it got lonely."

Joel stilled for just a second. He could picture it then—little Leela, small hands clutching at her mother’s as she twirled, all giggles and untamed joy. A warm, glowing memory, but edged with something else. The kind of happiness you cling to when there’s nothing else.

He hummed low in his throat, muffling a smile. Leela’s fingers curled against his back.

"Joel?"

"Mhm?"

She hesitated, just a beat. "I think you look really handsome today."

He stopped moving altogether. A strange, sharp thing twisted behind his ribs—surprise, confusion, something too damn soft to name. Handsome. Not tired, not rude, not old. Joel was handsome to her. The prickling memory from that morning, her mistaking him for her father went up in smoke.

For a second, he considered brushing it off, making some dry remark, giving himself an out. He wasn’t careful about much. Wasn’t the kind of man who tiptoed around what he wanted. Life had burned that out of him long ago. But right now? Right now, he was careful.

So, Joel did what he could; he held her tighter. Not much. Just enough. Just enough that she’d know he’d heard her.

And when he finally spoke, it was quiet, low, a little rough around the edges. "Thank you, darlin'."

Leela smiled up at him. And Joel—God help him. He let himself smile back.

As Percy crooned about his love growing stronger and his lover becoming a habit, they actually danced. However slow it was, there was a wildness to the way she moved, arms outstretched, the hem of her nightdress catching air, cheeks catching the low lamplight. The sharp pivot of her foot against the floorboards, the way her body dipped and twisted, loose and natural. She looked so young, so different from the woman he’d met all those weeks ago, that quiet, anxious thing who always kept herself tucked away.

This was the Leela he was falling for.

And he was so fucked. But for the first time in a long time—he was glad he was.

Joel barely had time to react before she was in his arms, knocking the wind out of his chest. Not swaying anymore, not laughing—just holding.

Her arms locked tight around his waist, cheek pressed firm against his chest like she was bracing herself. Like something in her had finally tipped over, finally let go, and she needed something to catch her.

And Joel—goddamn it, Joel wasn’t sure what to do. How to process this. She didn’t do things like this. Not the Leela he’d come to know. She was careful, always. Kept her distance. Kept everything measured. Even when she let people in, it was guarded. Always one foot out the door, always ready to pull away.

But now?

Now, she was holding on. Holding onto him.

Joel hesitated, feeling all of her against all of him, the heat, the muscle, the softness, the realness.

Then, slow and steady, he let himself move. One arm curled around her waist, the other settled at the back of her head. His fingers slid into her hair, pressing her close—not just to comfort her, but to reassure himself. She was here. He was here. They were here.

She wasn’t trembling, but she was tense. Her grip on him was firm, almost desperate. Holding onto something bigger than just this moment, nails digging into his sweater, something that must’ve been clawing at her for God knows how long.

"I needed this a lot," she muttered, voice barely above a whisper, muffled against his chest.

Joel swallowed. Shifted just enough to angle his chin over the crown of her head. "Anytime."

That was all he could say. Because what else was there?

He didn’t know how to tell her that she could stay like this for as long as she wanted. All night, all day, That whatever had been weighing her down before—whatever had kept her small, kept her afraid—it wasn’t going to touch her here. Not while he was holding her.

Although he wished the song could last forever, reality came a-knocking, and they answered. There was nothing awkward left to pick up, just a dreaming baby girl on the couch cushions.

After placing Maya in her crib and squeezing three deep goodnight kisses into her head, Joel left to cross the street. He turned around to see Leela by the big oak door, watching him go, a meaningful smile alive on her face. She waved him goodnight.

The heat in his cabin hit him first as he entered, sighing. Thick and suffocating. The fire in the hearth had burned too hot again, filling the place with a sticky kind of warmth that made his skin prickle.

Joel shrugged off that expensive shearling jacket, tossed it somewhere, and rubbed a hand down his face. It was too damn quiet. No soft breaths ghosted across his skin. No little palms clung to the fabric of his shirt.

Just the crackle of fire. Empty arms. The twisted sheets on his bed. And himself.

Joel sat down at the edge of the mattress, forearms braced against his knees, head in his hands. A million hazy thoughts swirled, smouldering, yet all he could look upon clearly was wanting to close the gap and kiss that girl in her living room.

Was this what he wanted? Would he really go through with it? If it all went to shit—if he fucked it up, if they got hurt, if she regretted letting him in—there’d be no one else to blame, but him. He would have done this to himself, some sort of screwed-up self-sabotage he thought he earned. Someday, when he kicks the bucket, all he is going to leave to that family is grief. Or not even that? Was he worth the suffering? Would they spare him a thought?

His fingers unconsciously drifted down, brushing against the cracked leather of his watch strap. That old, broken dial. The last thing Sarah had ever given him, the last vestige of her memory, hanging off his defeated body.

The hands were still stuck in place—frozen, unmoving. Just like he’d been for all those years. Until now.

Joel exhaled, slow and heavy, dragging a hand down his face. He was already in too deep.

And maybe—maybe he didn’t want to climb back out.

{ taglist 🫶: @darknight3904 , @guiltyasdave , @letsgobarbs , @helskemes , @jodiswiftle , @tinawantstobeadoll , @bergamote-catsandbooks , @cheekychaos28 , @randofantfic , @justagalwhowrites , @emerald-evans , @amyispxnk , @corazondebeskar-reads , @wildemaven , @tuquoquebrute , @elli3williams , @bluemusickid , @bumblepony , @legoemma , @chantelle-mh , @heartlessvirgo , @possiblyafangirl , @pedropascalsbbg , @brklynln -> @kaseynsfws , @prose-before-hoes , @kateg88 , @laliceee , @escaping-reality8 , @mystickittytaco , @penvisions , @elliaze , @eviispunk , @lola-lola-lola , @peepawispunk , @sarahhxx03 , @julielightwood , @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi , @arten1234 , @jhiddles03 , @everinlove , @nobodycanknoww , @ashleyfilm , @rainbowcosmicchaos , @i-howl-like-a-wolf-at-the-moon , @orcasoul , @nunya7394 , @noisynightmarepoetry , @picketniffler , @ameagrice , @mojaveghst , @dinomecanico , @guelyury , @staytrueblue , @queenb-42069 , @suzysface , @btskzfav , @ali-in-w0nderland , @ashhlsstuff , @devotedlypaleluminary , @sagexsenorita , @serenadingtigers , @yourgirlcin , @henrywintersgun , @jadagirl15 , @misshoneypaper , @lunnaisjustvibing , @enchantingchildkitten , @senhoritamayblog , @isla-finke-blog , @millercontracting , @tinawantstobeadoll , @funerals-with-cake , @txlady37 , @inasunlitroom , @clya4 , @callmebyyournick-name , @axshadows , @littlemissoblivious } - thank you!! awwwww we're like a little family <3

471 notes · View notes

minhosimthings · 9 months ago

Text

Lucifer|| Prolouge

Synopsis: After you found your husband cheating on you, you found a different kind of comfort in his devilishly handsome colleagues.

Pairings: detective 02z × fem!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, suggestive, minors please do not interact, catcalling, mention of alcohol, reader is cheated on by Heeseung, cheating (which I do not condone in real life)

A/N: Prologue for my 02z short series everyone! I abandoned everything else after Enha dropped Memorabilia just to write this BECAUSE I CAN. I will try to put out the oneshots as early as possible and I hope all of you will enjoy it! Au revoir!

Taglist: Open

Series Masterlist

Crystalline tears filled your eyes as you walked under the dark azure sky. Your feet ached, your heart thumped hard against its prison and your mind spun and yet you kept walking. Walking somewhere, you didn't even bother to understand.

Adjusting your skirt, and moving your scarf down to reveal your bloodied lips from having bitten them too much, you tried to recall what had happened today that made you so miserable. Was it the broken coffee machine, or was it the recent murders in the newspaper? Or was it a person? Perhaps it was the latter.

Heeseung.

You loved Lee Heeseung. With all of your soul and all of your heart you loved him all the way through the bright Mays and the chilly Decembers. You loved him in a way only the setting sun could love the ocean, the way its rays danced with the water so gracefully.

And yet you caught him in your own bedroom, strong sinews of muscles handling another girl's lusty bones, as she merged her body with someone you thought belonged to you.

His apologies went deaf to your ears, you spent an hour or so packing up all your things and driving out the house without a second thought. You didn't even realise how much time you spent screaming your head off at him, trying hard to stop your tears from escaping their barrier as you shoved each and every gift he ever gave you into his arms and asked him to burn them to the ground. And yet you didn't know how to cope without them either.

Your mother never taught you how to handle grief without alcohol and your father's blood always seeped through your mouth in words of fire and fury everytime something went wrong. It was no wonder you had found comfort in Heeseung, a man who could handle all of your pain and all of your anger.

You had trusted him with your life, marrying him happily to escape your childhood home and entrusting in him your most beloved secrets, your love and dedication and your virginity as well. You thought that had been enough, staying home whilst Heeseung worked his ass off at the police station to provide you with everything you could ask for and more.

And when he came home, you were his toy, a plaything for him to release his stress on and yet you didn't budge. Why should you? When you were recieving all the pleasure you could ever want and giving all the pleasure back to your husband. Nevertheless, you stared at your empty ring finger now, hands shivering in the cold as you scolded yourself on not wearing mittens. Heeseung used to scold you too.

Lee Heeseung. What would you have done to absolutely irradicate Lee Heeseung?

You had parked your car at the nearby park where you knew it'd be safe, and had gone for a walk. Thoughts rushed to your mind. You had known about Heeseung's affair for some time now, but you wanted to catch him in the act, to prove to the world, to yourself, that your melancholic delusion could be justified. Here you were now, dragging your feet across the cemented pavement, knowing there's only one other place you could go to. The darkness was a bad place for a woman to be, at 10 pm but you didn't give a single fuck about anything as your prosaic body tried to get itself up. You swore you could have heard voices behind you.

"Hey, hey you!" You heard a voice shout behind you, "What's a pretty lady doin' in a place like this?"

You gulped in fear as your feet sped up. Stupid stupid girl, you thought to yourself, should have stayed in the goddamned car!

"Hey you ignorin' me?" The voice shouted again, and you could hear the gruff footsteps which followed you, getting closer by the moment, "Stop fucking runnin' away from me!"

Your heart pumped blood faster as you picked up your skirt and ran, at the fastest speed you could. This wouldn't have happened if Heeseung was here!, you thought, and though a part of your brain tried to scold you about still thinking about him, at the moment all you were focused on was getting somewhere safe.

The man's drunken voice could still be hear by your ears, and his harsh footsteps told you he was running behind you, chasing you as if you were a wild mongrel to be caught and leashed.

Only one place. Only one place you could go now.

Turning swift on your feet, you ran down the wide lane filled with shops on one side and the empty road on the other, being careful not to crash into the glowing streetlights, as your destination came into your visage.

The police station. Where you knew, your last hope would be standing.

|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|•|

"Got the Samson case solved yet?" Sunghoon yawned and stretched his limbs above his head, like a prosaic cat, "Man I could do with a drink right now."

"It's 10 pm." Jake checked his pocketwatch, running his hand through his hair as he always did, "What bar is going to be open at this time?"

"Hey, should we steal Jay's stash?" Sunghoon glanced, with mischievous eyes at Jake, who mirrored an equally mischief filled smile back.

"Don't even think about touching my bourbon." A dark haired man, with eyes as black as kohl, walked in, equally black gloves decorating his hands, "Unless you want to be stuck on traffic duty all week."

"Who pissed in your cereal today?" Sunghoon snickered, leaning back in his chair, a crack of his bone could be heard as he lazily stretched, "Let me guess, Heeseung?"

"Is it about his wife again?" Jake groaned, hair tangled in his hand again, "Jay, just leave it man, they'll sort it out."

"Sort it out?" Jay looked at the long haired man with a quizzical look, "What kind of a man cheats on a beautiful woman and brags about it?"

"Most of them." Sunghoon broke out into his drawer, hands reaching for a eloquent wooden pipe, which he lit and transferred to his mouth, sighing out the smoke as he relaxed into his chair, "You're too righteous to understand that, Jongsoeng."

Jay wrinkled his nose, as Sunghoon blew a puff of cigarette smoke into the air. Settling into his own chair, Jay's eyes flickered towards Heeseung's desk, where files lay messily scattered. A solitary photo frame brightened up the lonely atmosphere of the desk. Lee Y/N, Jay thought, his wife, not yours.

"Jay, come on, stop sulking over your little crush," Jake scoffed, his hands busy with a sleek, brownish-yellow bottle in his hand, "Just have a drink and get your mind off it."

"First of all, how did you get into my bourbon cabinet." Jay snatched the glass from Jake's hand, and toyed with it protectively, "Second of all, I can't just get my mind of it. I mean, come on," He extended his glass out to Jake who poured the elysian liquid into Jay's glass, "Who the fuck would have the gall to cheat on such a pretty woman who loves him to bits?"

"Look, you like her right? And don't say no, we all know it Jongsoeng." Sunghoon leaned forward in his chair, "So when she finds out about everything, just offer to take her home and, you know, let her sob into your arms and then take her into your bedroom and-"

"Since when did you start reading romance?" Jake chuckled, pressing a glass of bourbon to his lips.

"Since lover boy here started crushing on..what's her name? Y/N wasn't it?" Sunghoon laughed, taking another piquant drag of his pipe, "I get it, she is really pretty."

'Really pretty' was one way to describe you, Jay thought, smiling into his glass of bourbon. Every inch of you called out to him, beckoned him closer and closer to your poisonous radius. It wasn't that he didn't try to fight it, lusting after another's wife, but it was that he found that hidden sadness in your eyes heartbreaking everytime he looked into them.

"Want to head home, fellas?" Jake briskly sat up straight in his chair, "Or are either of you going to stop at a brothel?"

"Don't have time for that." Sunghoon chuckled darkly, putting out his pipe, "Plus I've got a-"

Bang!

The door of the quite airy police station burst open with a loud bang, and it seemed as if a hurricane in the guise of a panicked woman had swept in, alarming the three detectives. The sudden action caused them to act on their reflexes, pulling out their revolvers faster than their eyes could comprehend the sight in fron them. Jake's eyes seemed to work the quickest.

"Ma'am? Are you alright?" Jake called out, signalling the other two to lower their weapons. He stepped forward and turned a switch on, which caused the entire room to light up in bright light, contrasting to the soft yellow light that earlier shone from the desk lamps.

Jay's senses had seemed to ding up after the initial shock of the entire thing, as he walked forward with careful steps towards you, as Jake and Sunghoon whispered to each other, making out why you were here. Your eyes took a moment to register the man in front of you.

Jay Park, you thought, a man who was perfection incarnated.

"Y/N," Jay spoke softly, careful not to frighten you, "What are you doing here? Are you alright?" He looked you up and down to check for any disfigurements.

"I-" you spoke, your throat tightening by the moment, "Heeseung—he" you couldn't speak any more as his name uttered out your mouth. Bursting into tears, you buried your face in your hands as you felt your cheeks burn up with embarrassment. You really weren't crying in front of your (ex) husband's colleagues, men who you barely knew, apart from the usual condolences.

You felt warm, strong muscles pull you into their hold. It felt like a cozy cocoon, scented with the fragrance of pine and paper.

"Calm down, doll," Jay whispered into your ear, his hot breath fanning your neck, "take a breath for me."

Jay coached you through breathing in and out, which restored some of your consciousness. You had nearly been on the verge of fainting, with how much you had ran.

"Can I—May I sit down for a moment?" You asked, weary of the other two men's eyes watching you, "Please."

"Of course." Jay said, supporting your figure with his sinews as he led you over to his cubicle. You could see the other two hastily clearing out messy piles of papers. The shorter one, you assumed was Jake, from his drooped posture and lion-like hair. The taller one then, had to be Sunghoon, with porcelain skin and an ice cold gaze.

"Did-did you walk all the way from your house?" Jake questioned, offering you a seat, which you gratefully collapsed into.

"No, just the park nearby." You shot him a small smile through your croaky voice, which he returned, "My car's still parked there though. I drove from" you stopped in your words uncertain to say his name, "-from Heeseung's house."

You felt the tension in the room as you said those words. Heeseung's house, you thought, it had been home once. You felt Jay shift his position in the chair next to you, and Sunghoon transfer his weight to one foot, whilst leaning on the desk.

"If you want us to go beat him up, we'll gladly do it." Sunghoon offered, making you chuckle and shake your head.

"No it's fine, I mean she wasn't that pretty anyway, he's bound to lose interest in her some day or the other." You smiled, to no one but yourself. Humour had never been your strong suit.

"Aww man I really wanted to beat him up." Sunghoon feigned defeat, "Asshole deserves it for how much paperwork he gave me."

"That's the only reason you want to beat him up?" You raised a brow at the light skinned man, who raised one back.

"And for betraying a pretty lady of course." He winked at you, making you internally roll your eyes.

"Would-would you like some bourbon?" Jake awkwardly offered you a glass. You could see the embarrassment in his eyes the moment he asked the question, "Or water if you want-"

"I'll take the bourbon." You grabbed the glass from Jake, who, with his shocked eyes poured you a glass, which you downed immediately without flinching in front of the three startled detectives, "Can I have another?"

"Can we have some too?" Sunghoon smirked at you, grabbing his own glass and beckoning Jake to pour him a shot. Jay, admitting defeat, had grabbed a glass too, filled with the bubbly alcohol.

"Well," Sunghoon raised his glass in a toast, "to Heeseung hopefully getting bored of the other woman."

"Peculiar toast, Detective Park." You laughed, "I like it."

The moments that followed still felt like a fever dream to you. You had sat in a building, alone with three handsome men, talking down right shit about your husband, whilst drinking more bourbon than you ever had and although you had already defeated Jake in drinking (almost) half a pint, you still wanted more. This definetly was not on your itinerary for the evening, but did you care at this point? Absolutely not.

"Ugh fuck." You swore under your breath. You probably shouldn't have drank that much, but in all honestly, it would have helped to relieve some of the painful memories of the night.

"Woah steady there." Jay looked at you cautiously as you stirred in your chair. Jake was on the verge of passing out, having even taking his glasses off, while Sunghoon and Jay, who hadn't drank as much, looked as calm as the winds.

"You know what?" You started, not knowing the words coming out of your drunken mouth anymore, "Fuck Lee Heeseung, fuck that man." A sudden maniacal giggle from your mouth seemed to have amused Sunghoon.

"Fuck in what terms, Mrs Lee?" He asked, trying to hide his cunning smirk, whilst ignoring Jay's warning glares.

"Mrs Lee?" You questioned, feeling your senses come back, though you were still tipsy, "Who's Mrs Lee? Not me, no sir-ee." You laughed, "If I had the chance to chop off that asshole's dick right now, I would."

"But you wouldn't allow us to beat him up? Strange." Sunghoon whistled out in his usual cocky tone.

"It's getting late." Jay checked the grand clock in the corner of the room, his eyes wavered over the dried tears on your face, it was alarming to him how much a mere glass of bourbon had managed to get you giggling like a cuckoo, "Y/N I can drop you-"

"I'd rather fuck all of you in one night rather than see that idiot's face again." You chuckled again, this time, saying the sentence with full seriousness. Did you really mean it?, perhaps not, as you would have thought later on. But were you up for having sex with three extremely attractive men who happened to be the best friends of your ex-husband? That, was a definite yes.

"Oh really?" Sunghoon placed his forearms on the desk in front of him, leaning in closer to your face. Jay's hand clutched harder against the edge of the desk. "And what if I say yes to that proposal?"

"What are you implying, Detective Park?" You looked into his dark, devilish eyes, "That you'd have sex with someone pathetic enough to get cheated on?"

"Don't say that, you're not pathetic." Jay's eyes softened as he looked at you, but you merely scoffed, turning your face instead to look at Sunghoon, who was evidently smirking. You caught Jake's widened eyes from the corner of your eye, listening intently.

"How about this-" Sunghoon started, folding his arms, "You get a night of good sex, I get a night of good sex, you and I both get to rub that in Heeseung's face, and then we have breakfast in France."

"Are you married Detective Park?" You quizzed him with an amused face, his offer seemed at the very least, interesting to you.

"Not yet, no. I'm still young aren't I?", Sunghoon's mouth stretched like a cat's into a lazy smile, "Why do you ask? Are you....perhaps intrigued by my offer?"

There was something ironic about that sentence "I'm still young" that struck a chord within you, you were the same age as him and yet you were sitting there talking about your husband.

"Intrigued is one way to put it." You smiled back, hoping you looked anything like a vixen, matching the bastardous fox like energy of Sunghoon's, "But don't you think it's greedy of you, Detective Park? To want me all to yourself?"

"And what do you mean by that, Miss Y/N?" Jake smiled in his boyish manner, "Is Sunghoon here not enough for you?"

"I'm just saying." You held up your hands in mock defence, "wouldn't you both like to get a taste too?"

You glanced at Jay in the corner, who you had expected to be shaking his head in disapproval. But to your utter surprise, he had one of his gloves hands stroking his chin as if in deep thought. His eyes were dark even in the fluorescent light of the room, deep pools of cataclysmic waters floating around in his pupils. He looked vaguely interested.

"So just to recap," Jake started, clearing his throat, such that his Adam's apple was clearly visible, "You want us to bed you, so as to make your ex husband, our colleague and friend, someone's whose wife we definetly should not be sleeping with, jealous?"

"That's the blueprint." You said in a sweet honeyed voice, "How exactly you make him know that I'm not his anymore, you figure that out. If I even so as look at that man's face again, I will jump off a cliff."

"But the question is-" you put on a proud smile, eyes darting from one man to the next, "Who's going first?"

"Shouldn't you decide that sweetheart?" Jay's deep voice came like a rumble through the ground during an earthquake, slightly startling you. He hadn't said anything in the past few minutes, his sudden break of silence alarmed you.

"Alright then." You chuckled, not daring to meet Jay's eyes, you knew you'd melt as soon as you saw them, "How about the person who suggested this?" You turned your face towards a smirking Sunghoon, with his head held high like a peacock's, "Detective Park?"

"Shall I go with the lady's word boys?" Sunghoon asked Jake, who nodded his head, taking his glasses off the desk and outting them on again. The effect it had in him was quite handsome, according to you.

"Should we make a pact then?" Jake asked cheekily, glancing around for a piece of paper, finally picking one up from underneath the mountain of files lying on the wisened wood. Putting it down on the paper, he scribbled something down quickly, showing it off proudly to the others. You let out a laugh when you saw what he wrote.

"'The make Heeseung jealous organisation'?" You laughed, "I can't tell if you're serious or not."

"I'm dead serious." Jake looked at you with glossy eyes, he always was a funny one, you recalled, "Come on everyone, I need signatures."

He's serious about this, you thought, amused at Jake's comedic demeanor. You swiftly pressed the black ink to the paper, leaving off a flashy signature to decorate it. Jay signed off last, with an impeccable font.

Words couldn't have described that very evening. No sentence that could come out of your mouth could have ever even begun to explain to a complete stranger about how you had ended up in Sunghoon's car, driving to his house in silence. Shrugging off the moral doubts in the corner of your brain, you stared out the window into a dewy night.

Relax, you thought to yourself, there wasn't anything wrong with what you were doing.

Was there?

Taglist: Open! Send an ask or comment to be added.

1K notes · View notes

undiscovered-horizon · 1 year ago

Text

"Finnish polka" - Ivar the Boneless x Reader

SUMMARY: After helping one of the northern Jarls, the Lothbrok brothers attend a celebratory feast. There, they're faced with a tradition of warriors catching flower crowns that belong to young women. How surprised Ivar is when you almost shove your crown into his hands.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.1k

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi

Ivar is tired.

Of course he's glad that Jarl Thorstein came out victorious. And that his brothers are fine. Still, he feels weary as the adrenaline leaves his body. His legs start to ache. Ivar downs the rest of his mead in hopes it makes him a little more deaf to his mood.

The upbeat, bright music fills his mind like an obsessive thought. His heart beats to the rhythm tapped by the feet of dancing women. They spin, jump and run around with flower crowns sitting atop their heads. How the wreaths remain immovable, he can't quite say.

Ivar is also angry.

As the local tradition entails, when the song ends, all the dancing young maidens will throw their flower crowns to the crowd. Whoever catches it, is believed to be the girl's lover chosen by the gods. However, whether the couple indulges and trusts gods' judgement is a different story. But if the wreath falls to the floor, the girl is said to remain unmarried for the next five years.

Ivar knows the chance of him somehow catching one of those is near zero. He's sitting quite far from the dancers. Even if he did catch it, he's disillusioned about the imminent dissatisfaction of the flower crown's ownert. Not only is he disabled in a way that almost entirely excludes him from fighting but he's also infamous for his ruthless nature and vengeful heart. Hardly a man who invokes desire. Still, some naive piece of him remains hopeful that maybe he's wrong. Maybe he can be terrible and loved all the same.

He shakes those weak delusions away from himself before they sour his mood further.

His piercing eyes have been following one of the dancers for the better part of the song when he catches himself. Her movements look effortless even when the musicians pick up the tempo. Clearly, she's done this dance one too many times to have any doubts about what she's doing. Joy beams from her in a way that makes her appear almost shining. The wreath on the top of her head is mostly green with white and red flowers. It makes Ivar think of the woods surrounding Kattegat; it makes him think of home.

Ivar leans toward Oddleif, one of the Jarl's men, who's sitting next to him.

"Who is she?"

Oddleif looks at Ivar out of the corner of his eye. He scoffs, takes a large sip of his drink and only then decides to answer:

"If you're thinking of catching her flower crown, don't." His blond braids dance slightly as he shakes his head. There's a hint of laughter hiding in the back of Oddleif's throat. "Half of the surviving army wants it."

"I have no care for flowers," Ivar lies through his teeth. "They have no use. They wilt and die and soon no one remembers them. I am simply curious about her."

"Her father is the blacksmith. You might have seen him in the battle, swinging that damned sledgehammer." Ivar silently nods. He remembers that man - tall as a pine tree and wider than a stable. The blacksmith invokes respect even when he's not decimating enemies like a troll equipped with a tree trunk. "He said once that he'll let any man marry his daughter but only if he can lift an anvil. Tried it once myself. Not that I had any success as you can imagine." Oddleif laughs bitterly and continues drinking. His eyes are glued to the dancers but Ivar knows that right now, the two of them are admiring the very same girl with a flower crown like a forest.

The melody continues to quicken. Despite being out of breath, you don't want it to end. Your feet ache but they do not falter nor do they stumble. It seems that their muscles know the dance better than your mind. There are a dozen girls dancing with you but you do not see them. Not really. They appear worlds away from you and the song of bagpipes and strings.

And then appears he.

A slouched, dark figure flies before your eyes as you're doing another pirouette. The man simply sits there, in the corner, but his presence is overwhelming. Or so you think. He does nothing and yet he tears his way into your microcosm of quick footwork, turns and lively polka.

You recognize him. Of course you do. Many whispers, equally frightened and amazed, have spoken of him. You have believed in all of them until the moment you met his gaze for that split second. Right then, somewhere between blinks and breaths, you renounce every gossip you've ever heard about him. A voice in the back of your head, a trickster or an oracle, nags at you to learn the truth yourself.

When the lively, fast melody comes to a stop, you find yourself shaken awake from the thoughts about Ivar the Boneless. The end of the song seems somewhat abrupt to you as you've been letting your fantasy run wild without paying much attention to what's going on around you. Dancing the last part purely by the memory of your muscles. The moment musicians stop playing, a small crowd begins to form in front of you. Men of different class, age and ancestry reach out their hands. Each one of them is more determined than the other to catch your wreath. They start to yell something but considering that the inside of the long hall is awfully loud anyway, you can't make out any words. Reading their lips, you can only tell when they're exclaiming different variations of your name.

They're only pushing towards you, shoving each other away. You keep taking steps backwards but the distance you create with each step is quickly shortened with the men calling out to you. You knew there would be many of them in front of you but never assumed that many. Instead of somewhat flattering, the siege is terrifying and imposing.

Looking for help or advice, just something that will ease your tension, you silently look around the long hall. Your gaze falls on the same slouched, dark figure. Strange peacefulness washes over you when his eyes meet yours.

The dim candlelight seems to bend around Ivar, making his corner appear darker than anywhere else in the long hall. He's simply sitting there. Maybe he's not interested? But the way he's staring at you shows nothing if not burning curiosity. The sons of Ragnar aren't know for their patience. No, they're said to take whatever they want the moment their desire sparks. Despite that, the youngest of them, and arguably the most famous, appears to be waiting. But for what exactly?

The fresh pine needles prick your skin. You furrow your eyebrows. Your gaze falls to the wreath and then comes back to Ivar. Could it be...?

It isn't much of a throw, really. You toss the flower crown towards him without looking anywhere else but into Ivar's eyes. Without as much as blinking, he catches the wreath with ease as though he has been prepared for that. Low murmurs hit your ears but quickly the sounds of disappointment fall silent as it's made clear who caught your wreath. Despite their initial determination, the men who had been reaching out to you suddenly disperse like fog does in the early morning. They knew better than to get under the skin of a Lothbrok. Especially that one.

"I believe this belongs to you."

Ivar is holding up the wreath. Despite his words, he makes no effort to offer it back to you. His eyes are bright and glistening, the corner of his mouth is tugged ever-so-slightly upwards. He appears amused.

At first, it was nice to finally sit down after dancing for what seemed to be hours on end. But now, when you're facing the consequences of your spur-of-the-moment decision, the tension sets in once more. This time, however, it doesn't feel threatening. In turn, the nervousness is somewhat welcome like the jittery state before a surprise is revealed.

"If I wanted to keep it, I wouldn't have thrown it," you answer in a light tone.

"And why should I keep it?"

The blue eyes study you for a moment. It's a strange feeling - you can't help but think that the longer you are in Ivar's presence, talking or not, he's reading your mind and soul. He stares at you in a way that tells you he already holds all the answers but wants you to confirm them.

"It's said to bring good luck." You shrug your shoulders. "Until the wreath wilts and dies, Freya and Freyr will look after you."

Ivar looks at the flower crown again. Only now, when he's holding it, does he realize that for a flower crown, there aren't many flowers. A few sandworts and poppies, yes, but the wreath is made mostly of evergreen plants. It might take weeks until the crown wilts.

The microcosm seems closed again. Now it's not you and the bagpipes but you and him. It's strange and it's new but it's not threatening. It's not the kind of presence a man of his infamy should have. Or perhaps you've simply fallen for his honey trap.

"Why did you throw it to me?" Ivar tries to make the question seem unimportant, just curiosity brought to light. But he can't quite convince himself that he doesn't care. There's a hint of something vulnerable and genuine when the words roll off his tongue. It's easy to miss like a dandelion clock carried away by a gust of wind.

You wish you knew the answer yourself.

"I don't know really," you say honestly. "Perhaps it was one of the gods that threw the flower crown for me." You make a pause. Ivar's face is unreadable. "Or perhaps I have no interest in urgent, desperate men."

Ivar chuckles. A deep shadow is covering part of his face, making him appear kind of sinister. For a moment, you question whether he's laughing with you or at you.

"And what exactly makes you think I'm not urgent or desperate?" he continues. You notice his smile is growing wider. That glint of amusement in his blue eyes has changed in mischief. "What if I'm worse than all of them? You surely know who I am."

"Of course I do, Ivar the Boneless," you drone the words. In a barely noticeable fashion, he clenches his jaw when you say his name. It makes him feel a strange, burning sensation in his stomach but Ivar is left unsure whether he likes it or detests. "The whispers of your ruthless character are unending."

"But you're not afraid?" he asks with both disbelief and suspicion. A girl with a flower crown doesn't necessarily strike him as fearless in any way. Or this whole strange situation is a little too good, too dream-like, for him to accept it at face-value.

Ivar's smile falters when your face takes on a confident, maybe even arrogant, expression. He's taken aback.

"I'm a woman of the North," you say while leaning towards him on the table. The distance between your faces shortnes. "The only person I fear is my own reflection."

The sudden closeness makes Ivar inhale sharply. The strong smell of pine needles fills his nostrils. For a moment, his imagination runs wild but it's not his fault - he has no grasp on it:

How those big eyes glistened in the semi-dark of the long hall as you were staring at him. Your smirk, somewhat challenging and beckoning him to push on. Then, the smell of conifer that shakes all senses awake. His fantasy leaves the northern snows and travelles to forests, to him brushing pine needles from your hair and your naked, flushes skin smelling of evergreen trees.

But quickly his shaken awake, to his utmost displeasure, by you:

"Well, if you don't want it, I suppose I should take it back, no?"

Your hand unsurely reaches out for the wreath in Ivar's hand. He's quick to pull his arm back.

"It's bad luck to take back gifts," he states plainly. In an act of nonchalance, Ivar is playing with the wreath, spinning it around his finger. "I should like to keep it."

Sometimes you come back to the night you've met the infamous Viking, when you're rendered sleepless while he's calmly breathing next to you, getting the rest he desperately needs. How funny all of it seems - that a flower crown in bloodied, merciless hands could lead to having a genuine crown on your head. Maybe you were right, after all, and it really was the hand of one of the gods that threw the wreath for you.

#vikings #vikings series #vikings tv series #vikings fanfiction #vikings imagine #vikings x reader #vikings ivar #ivar x reader #ivar lothbrok #ivar the boneless #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar the boneless fanfiction #ivar the boneless imagnie

3K notes · View notes

kooberryfields4ever · 7 months ago

Text

hehe😏😏 what did i say😏😏 finally posting this after more than half a year of abandoning the idea!!!!!!!! as a long time jungkooker i have observed his mannerisms for a while and i think my delusions will guide me down the right path <333 please let me know ur thoughts and as always my asks/requests are very much open to both hard and soft thoughts!!!!!! 🥺

content warnings : nsfw below the cut, handjobs, jerking off, mentions of oral, mentions of cumming inside, unprotected sex, protected sex, boobs, yadda yadda its the nsfw alphabet what do u expect😒

MDNI !

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the sweetest <3333

cannot imagine jungkook being anything but attentive and romantic when he tends to u after sex

also cant see him as too dominant or rough during sex so aftercare is probably just kisses cuddles and pillow talk

maybe some boob groping because he cannot help himself

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

do i even need to say it

boobs, boobies, tits, honkers, knockers, breasts etc

LOVES UR TITS. like i do not care what anybody says jungkook is a titty lover, a boobie connoisseur

likes to just hold them because he is gentle and lovely and ur boobs are his home

wants them in his mouth almost all of the time

favourite part of him is probs his arms

very proud of his muscles and very very attracted to the way u seem addicted to them

loves when u dig ur nails into them when he fucks u

also loves when u get overwhelmed with cuteness aggression and feel the need to bite him and gnaw on his arm like a teething toy

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

clean boy

i dont think hes all too feral about doing it inside but if ur fucking raw then inside is the cleanest option for him

first man on earth to… prefer a condom?

of course fucking u raw is his absolute pleasure but he likes the quick and easy cleanup a condom provides

on the off chance jungkook likes to get messy :) if hes in that mood expect cum on ur face, tits or on ur pussy

not an absolutely rare occurrence just not entirely common

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

did u guys expect me to say anything but panty lover

likes them all but especially cute cotton ones that are well loved <3

ones with a little bow and a subtle lace trim

maybe the pattern is somewhat childish but that makes them all the more endearing to him

if he sees u wearing them TRUST he will be in a messy mood. he cant help himself

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

pains me to admit but jungkook gets bitches😥😥

maybe not drowning in pussy, we’ve all seen the singular neck pillow on his bed

just cannot imagine a world where jungkook looks the way he looks and doesnt fuck?????? that is a world i quite frankly dont want to live in if so.

been in the industry long enough to know how to get around dispatch rumours, also hybe/bh paying off major drama media companies lolol

i think hes had enough sex to know what he likes but jungkook is a romantic at heart and i truly believe if he found The One we would know about it

so i think theres some things unexplored bc theyre things he wants to experience with the love of his life<333

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

missionary

DONT YAWN.

just likes seeing ur face and also likes to display his strength and hold ur hips up so he can fuck u deeper

also likes that he can see when u grip onto his arms and if he really wants to he can duck his head down and bury his face in ur tits

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

yeah jk gets goofy asf

cannot imagine serious sex with him really i think hes immune to being serious ever

even if it gets a little more serious at some point there will always be a joke or a giggle inserted somewhere between

he cannot help himself sorry.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

jungkook my lovely clean boy <33

not completely razor shaven but trims regularly and keeps it neat

not a fan of stray pubes and whatnot. thinks its unhygienic

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

despite his goofy silly boy nature i think jungkook is incredibly intimate

likes to be slow and likes drawn out foreplay

this is jungkook we’re talking about……. lover of romance and soulmates and close bonds

needs to be practically combined with u when u fuck, never feels like he gets deep enough

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

dont think hes a big fan of jerking it honestly

at least not alone

loves a bit of mutual masturbation i reckon so if he does need to wank best believe he’s either calling u or texting u

its always better when hes right there with u tho, with u straddling his lap while he strokes himself and watches u get off on his thigh

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

hehe praise

for u or for him. doesnt matter

will get into this in a sec but jk dabbles in submission so expect whimpers and moans when u tell him what a good boy he is and goad him on when hes following instructions well

loves whispering how pretty u are and reminding u how much he loves u and loves ur body and thinks ur the most gorgeous person in the world

atp its just him. like i dont think he could stop himself i think he gets off on praising u

lazy sub when he does sub for u :)

less about being in the mood to sub and more about not being in the mood to do anything else

wants u to do the work and likes if u get a little mean about it

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the couch lol

jungkook is one of those people thats just very passionate and when hes horny it needs to happen there and then

so i just cant picture u making it to his bed fast enough for his liking

his couch is big enough anyway

but make no mistake…….. morning sex

therefore beds!!!!!!!! loves fucking u in the morning because it feels so domestic and intimate and lovely and therefore loves fucking u in his bed

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

not much

libra venus lol

but its usually just from his need to be close to u and whats closer than being literally inside of u

just a lovely boy …. :( would probs get so hard just seeing u look pretty on the couch next to him while u watch tv

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation probably

not a fan of being mean to u outside of a little teasing

none of that “slut”, “bitch”, “whore” business

id also say hitting but i think jungkook could get into a bit of that if the circumstances are right

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

i think he prefers receiving but isnt against eating u out

doesnt even like getting head much himself

prefers a handjob the same way he would prefer to finger u

dont think hes bad at it tho. knows the basics and primarily uses it as foreplay so orgasm is not always necessary

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

both?

depends on his mood and the circumstances in which he is fucking u

mostly slow and sensual though, maybe a mix between if he’s close

hehehe…….. probs doesnt even pull out too far when he fucks u, just wants to stay buried in u so he prefers rolling his hips slowly and grinding into u

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

not opposed to them but not his favourite

prefers when foreplay lasts forever to the point that ur both basically about to cum

but quickies are sometimes unavoidable :/

will make up for it later :)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

i dont think so …… i dont think hes a scaredy cat but hes very cautious of things that may hurt u or that may cause harm

like probably not a very public lover aside from basic pda (he has to show u off????)

would cover ur mouth to keep u quiet when he lived in the dorms

i think hed be too embarrassed if he got caught fucking, hes cute not arrogant

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i think jungkook can go for a while and i think he can hold out for longer than most

enjoys taking his time with u and that of course would not work if he was desperate to cum five minutes in

i also think … he … .. perh aps…,.., enjoys being overstimulated…,,??

so cumming more than once :) is fun :)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

ermmm probably not?

likes the real thing and doesnt like the noises

would maybe invest in a hitachi for u but cant think of anything he would use on himself

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

not very unfair, likes to give in to u cos it shows u want him that bad and thats what gets him going

however

if jungkooks feeling submissive then yes please tease him

be mean and make him beg

and even still dont give in :)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

moaner

like come on ? its jungkook we’re talking about

if he didnt moan id be seriously worried .

not necessarily loud, but u can definitely hear him from outside the door

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

can imagine him getting home after a long day and hes been thinking about u but cannot be bothered to move from the couch

and u look so pretty beside him so (because hes a baby) he reaches out to touch ur thigh and whines a little

maybe even pouts because hes such a massive tease

and who are u to deny him ? when he looks so pretty and u know he just wants u to look after him

and so u climb into his lap and straddle him…… and his hands roam over your hips and ass absentmindedly

and when ur kissing ur hand trails lower and lower until ur palming him over the fabric of his sweats and building him up until hes rock hard

whispering that he has to be a good boy for u or else he wont get rewarded, and obviously he nods because he loves being ur good boy

but his hands wander a bit too much for ur liking and so u bite his lower lip and spank his hip gently before sneaking ur hand past the waistband of his sweats and underwear to grip his length

and of course hes dripping, how wouldnt he be ??

so u indulge him and spread his precum down his cock before stroking him slowly, nudging his clothes down to get a better look

and hes so fucked out that his head tips backwards, his wandering hands gripping your hips firmly

and despite the mess, hes delicate when he cums, spilling over his shirt and moaning softly, thanking u with sweet murmurs and a gentle hand rubbing ur thigh

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

self-identified horse cock

just kidding but i think hes a little bigger than average

probs more on the girth side than anything else

i dont think its anything extreme, i think its enough for u to notice but nothing that will carve out ur insides

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i think sex is an expression of his love language a little so i think he has a higher sex drive

but not in a horny ggrrrr ooga booga woof woof way but in a please can i just be inside u forever and make a home within ur walls way

will probs want sex more often than ur average guy but its never pressure its more just like a natural progression of cuddling and being around him

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

probably not gonna fall asleep for a while after

if hes subbing then maybe sooner than any other times u have sex

but mostly when its over he will stay up to shower and eat and maybe play some games before he falls asleep

#koob navi #koob thoughts #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #reader x jungkook #jungkook x you #jungkook x yn #jungkook x oc #jungkook hard thoughts #jungkook hard hours #jungkook soft hours #jungkook soft thoughts #jungkook #yn x jungkook #bts hard hours #bts hard thoughts

680 notes · View notes

iamthemain-character · 4 months ago

Text

Are Your Ears Burning? 18+ only - Minors DNI

astarion x fem!reader

CW: smut, masturbation, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), astarion being a brat

A/N: If you know me irl, no you don't (lovingly)- otherwise, welcome to my first smut fic (i need to be put down like a dog). Also shout out to S.H. for being an editor and proofreader, cause my asexual ass don't know shit <3 can't wait to live in the asylum with you when our delusions take over our brains

bg3 masterlist

You couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

Life out on the open road was exhausting, and often far dirtier than you’d like, and most days you just wanted to collapse into your bedroll once the night sky blanketed the camp. Although, when the travel was not so long and the days were a little bit calmer, your mind would finally be able to think of other things than sheer survival. But that was where the real battle lay, and you had no defenses against your opponent.

The most beautiful bastard to ever walk the earth, otherwise known as Astarion.

It was truly horrible. The elf vampire’s mere existence was enough to send your body fluttering. The way he would lounge by the fire, feet reaching for the warm, head tilted to face the heavens. Or when he would put on his armor, dexterous fingers flexing as he tightened leather straps. It didn’t help that Astarion was an outrageous flirt, who knew exactly how to lower his eyes just so, or how to change his voice to a vocal caress. Sometimes you wondered if he could possibly read your mind, if he was amused by how utterly pathetic you became the moment he said your name.

Perhaps it would have been easier if he could, because then you wouldn’t be caught in the dilemma you found yourself in. You know of Astarion’s background, knew that he was trying to undo two centuries worth of pain and hurt. And for that reason you didn’t dare speak your desires to him, not willing to chance the fact that you might ruin what little healing he had found.

At the end of the day, however, you still were just a woman. And it was in the twilight of a long day that you retired to your tent, hot and flustered from so much more than the campfire. Your core ached, desperate to find some sort of release for the sheer amount of arousal it was constantly put through. But of course, when you thought of pleasure, it was the face of Astarion that came to mind. But that was not a path you were willing to go down.

Tentatively, you moved to lay on your bedroll; even though you were completely alone, and well within your own right, you felt embarrassed as you took off your shoes, your pants soon cast aside as well. You lay back, taking a deep breath as you attempted to clear your mind, to relax and enjoy yourself. You began as you always did, fingers trailing over your opening, touching the spots that you knew would make you feel good.

Except when the first wave of pleasure hit, all your mind could think of was Astarion. His pale face, with those alluring ruby eyes filled your mind, and you found your lips longing to utter his name. It shocked you for a moment, but you couldn’t help but note the way the thought of him had made the experience more enjoyable.

You struggled within yourself, questioning the morality of thinking of Astarion for your own pleasure. You had no right to him, and aside from his flirtatious nature, you weren’t even sure he wanted you in that way. So you resolved to push any thoughts of your white-haired companion away, resorting to sheer pleasure to satisfy yourself.

You went for where the aching was in your core, fingers pushing through your own soft folds, gathering the slickness that had already collected in just the few moments. You carefully pushed into yourself, breath catching as you maneuvered through the first ring of muscle. Slowly, you pumped your fingers in and out, taking care to brush against your sensitive inner wall. To your dismay, however, the feeling of your fingers within yourself didn’t bring you nearly as much pleasure as you had hoped. Your mind betrayed you, focused on how it was woefully your own hand and not a certain vampire spawn companion’s.

You slipped in another finger in an attempt to help fill you up, and your mind drifted to Astarion. What would it feel like if it had been his cock inside of you instead, pushing up against your center. Would he be thick, stretching you out around him? Or would he be long, needing to encourage you to keep taking him in. Your fingers picked up their pace, desperation starting to take root as your longing for the real thing increased.

With a jolt, you caught your ruminating thoughts, heat burning through your face rather than your core as shame coiled in your stomach. Frustrated, you removed your own hand, a little miffed at how difficult your hopeless crush on the elf had made your life. You took a deep breath, moving onto a different tactic; if you couldn’t control your thoughts, you wouldn’t think at all. Your clit had already swelled a little from the arousal, and as you brushed your fingers over the bump, it produced a satisfying thrill up through your body.

You began working the bud with your fingers, a soft sound escaping you as you felt your pleasure increase in your body, responding to the stimulation. You allowed your mind to grow hazy with the sensations, little prickles of pleasure running through your hips and legs, giving your body the experience it had been craving.

You pressed on your clit more firmly, touching yourself with more intensity as your body grew hotter and hotter. Little noises escaped with your uneven breathing, the pleasure unable to be constrained to your body and escaping into the air. You had to be careful, your tent was in a circle of your companions’ after all, but your need overruled any real sense of propriety. You continued to vocalize your pleasure, whispered “pleases” mixing in with the quiet noises that escaped you the more you felt pleasured. You could almost hear Astarion’s voice in your ear, murmuring words of encouragement, of praise, enticing you closer and closer to your climax.

“Astarion…” You groaned, unable to resist the way it so easily came to your lips.

Little did you know that just outside your tent, crouched beside the very wall of tarp that you were next to, the man himself sat, pointed ears listening intently to your sounds. Astarion had no intentions of listening into your private moment as he had walked past your tent, but the moment he had heard his own name moaned out, your voice so sinfully needy, he had rooted himself to the spot. It didn’t take him long to deduce what was happening, the scent of your arousal, damp and slick on your hot skin, told him all he needed to know. So he sat there, listening intently, his own hunger growing, tightening the leather of his trousers.

Your breath came out in little pants as you felt the coil burn hot in your lower abdomen, ready to spring at any given moment. How you longed for Astarion’s actual touch, for him to help you along; instead, however, you contented yourself with a final swirl of your forefinger, and the coil snapped. Warmth swelled in the center of your body, and your body sank into the thin bedroll, satisfaction easing the tension that had plagued you for so long. You pulled your hand away from your body, letting it fall beside your trembling thighs. As soon as the initial high was over, however, guilt poisoning the ecstasy, leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. No matter how hard you had tried, you couldn’t get the beautiful elven man out of your head, the stupid bastard.

“You did so well, darling. So good, coming for me just like that.” You could almost imagine his voice purring to you.

Except you didn’t imagine it.

Your eyes fly open, and standing at the end of your bed was Astarion himself, a beautifully wicked smirk curled across his lips. His ruby eyes gleamed with gratification, looking as pleased as can be as his gaze drank in the sight of your dripping folds.

With a start, you broke from your blissful haze, scrambling to cover yourself; Astarion, however, had other plans, pouncing on you immediately, grasping your wrists and pinning them to your sides. “No no, darling, don’t get shy now.” He clicked his tongue, clearly enjoying your flustered state. “You don’t get to act coy, not when you called out my name. This is mine to enjoy, and you’re not taking it from me.”

Astarion punctuated his words by bringing your messy fingers to his lips, taking them into his mouth, tongue swirling around them as he tasted you. He groaned, eyes closing for a moment as he savored your flavor. “So sweet, darling…I simply must have more.”

Your mind was still caught in shock, lost for words as he shifted down your body, hands caressing from your wrists, following the path of your arms as he trailed further and further downward. He knelt into his position of worship, finding the altar between your thighs, more than ready to taste the wine of your body. Despite how needy he felt, he wanted to savor this moment, the way he finally had your truest feelings laid bare before him.

“Were you truly so desperate for me, love?” He purred, rubbing his nose against your soft inner thigh. “Our perfect little hero of the realm, fucking herself on her fingers, crying out my name. How perfectly filthy.”

“I...I just needed-”You feel beyond embarrassed, being caught in such a personal moment, but even more so being caught by the very man you were using to get off.

Astarion, however, was the furthest thing from displeased, chuckling as he pushed on your legs, sighing happily as his face was smooshed between your plush thighs. “I know what you needed, pet. You could have just asked, you know; I would have been more than happy to oblige.”

You inhale a sharp breath, pulling your lower lip between your teeth as you hesitate, a flicker of concern tightening around your heart. “I don’t ever want to put you in that position again…”

Astarion faltered, his heart melting a little as he realized what you were insinuating. He moved back up to hover above you, the cool leather of his pants stretched over his knees as they pushed up against your thighs, effectively keeping your legs wide open for him. He gently stroked your waist–better than the way you had imagined–his slightly dry fingertips soft as he mapped out the curve of your form.

“You could never.” He says, his creamy voice quiet as he spoke, the most earnest you had ever seen him. His eyes matched the color you felt in your heart, heated and passionate. “You are nothing like him, or any of them. You…” He leaned in, and he pressed his lips to yours. His whole body leaned into you, craving the warmth he could feel radiating off. “You have proven time and time again that you see me as more than a body.” Astarion whispered against your lips, his own still brushing them. “You have given me a place to call home, to not constantly have to protect myself. And now that I’m not just trying to survive…” He moved his lips to your neck, biting gently. “I find myself wanting.”

His meaning was clear in his words, sending tingles up your body from how much more it excited you. “You have to know now just how much I feel about you..how I adore you.” You reach up a slightly shaky hand, cupping his sharp jawline into your palm. He leans into it, hands tightening into a possessive grip on your waist, as if he couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving.

“It cannot possibly match just how much I adore you.” He murmurs, pressing a kiss into your palm. His eyes flit open again, glancing at yours. “And I would like to show you, if you’ll let me.”

Your breath catches as your heart skips, heat curling in your stomach again. Unable to trust your voice you give him a silent nod, the need evident in your gaze.

Astarion presses one last kiss to your lips before he returns to his irreverent worshiping, his slender hands wrapping around your thighs, nails pressing into your skin as if to mark you as his. He brings his face the slit between your folds, and he inhales deeply, a satisfactory sigh leaving him. You clench around nothing, his warm breath scattering across your damp skin making your body tingle with arousal.

“Look at her, already so beautiful and ready for me.” He murmurs, pressing his pointed nose into the little crevice above your clit. He darts his tongue out, flicking the swollen bud, smiling as he feels the twitch of your body in reply. “But look at her, poor thing…she deserves tact, and true pleasure, not just a brutish push to an orgasm. Never fear, my love..” He pauses, pressing a kiss to your pelvis, “I am here to take care of you as you deserve.”

Astarion rolls out his tongue, pressing it flat against the opening between your softness, and he drags it upwards. He hums with delight, just the hint of your essence making him greedy for more. He pushes through the soft flesh, dragging his tongue expertly up and down, lapping up the mixture of arousal and release that remains.

You can’t help the soft noises that escape you, no words being able to describe how you’re feeling, the sensations too strong to remain within you, finding their release through your vocal cords. This only spurs Astarion forward, however, who continues swiping his tongue through your vulva, unabashedly hungry in his consumption of you. The only breaks you receive are when he occasionally pauses to tell you how perfect you are, or how good you taste, or how much he adores you. The moment the elf finishes vocalizing his sentiments, however, he returns to your body, working his tongue over and over again.

You find yourself wishing you could have had this first, Astarion’s actions surprisingly better than your own, as if he was simply meant to know your body in this way. Had you not been so entirely consumed with the sensations his mouth were bringing you, you might have had the notion to be irritated, but instead you only found yourself delighted by his uncanny ability to find the places that pleasured you the most.

While Astarion could have happily just kept dragging his tongue over you like a man dying of thirst, he wanted to continue focusing on your pleasure. It delighted him, being able to give pleasure because of his affections he felt, with no ulterior motives, and he was determined to enjoy it to the fullest. His shifts a little, easing his tongue into your opening, his body jolting as he feels you gasp and tighten on the muscle. Teasingly, he moves his tongue, easing you open again, sliding it as far as he can get. He presses his face as far into you as he can, taking full advantage of vampires’ lack of needing air. He presses his nose against your sensitive clit, rubbing it slowly, building up a rhythm with his tongue as he moves it in tandem with his teasing nose.

He feels a surge of satisfaction as you moan, grinding your body against his face, letting him delve deeper into your soaking cunt as he gets more and more drunk on your taste. He can feel you getting close from all the stimulation, the way his hands have to keep you from closing your thighs around his head–not that he’d mind going that way, but he has other plans for you.

“You’re doing so well for me, my love….taste so sweet, being so filthy on my tongue.” He murmurs, rubbing his nose against your throbbing clit, and you nearly lose it from hope the vibrations rumble through your flesh. “You’ll be a good girl for me and come, won’t you? Let me taste my saccharine reward.”

“Astarion, I…” You’re not really sure what you’re trying to say, thoughts increasingly difficult to form with every flick of his tongue against your tense inner muscles.

“I’m here, my darling…my beautiful woman…” He presses a kiss with his lips to your labias, a sweet gesture compared to his demanding tongue and insistent nose. “Let yourself go. Baptize me in your glory, please.”

He’s begging you. Tongue pushed deep into your core, pointed nose steadily pressing into your bud, Asatrion is begging you to come on his face, and you don’t have the strength– nor the desire– to deny him.

“Astarion!” You moan out, hips bucking against his face as the tension snaps, your body going slack against him as warmth courses through your muscles.

Astarion feels a surge of delight and satisfaction as he feels his face dampen, and he forgets any rhythm with his tongue as it greedily laps at you, as if he needs every last drop of your release to survive. You can barely make out his murmurs, only catching your name and words of praise here and there. You whimper as he licks at you, the sensation bordering on overstimulation for your pleasured body, but you can’t deny the ache feels good.

Finally, Astarion’s face pulls away from your warmth, and he presses one last soft kiss to your swollen clit, inhaling deeply to take in your scent once more. He sits up, reaching a hand out to brush back the hair sticking to your forehead.

“You alright darling?” He asls warmly, smiling down at your flushed and dazed face.

You nod, taking a deep breath as you try to collect yourself. “I’m…I”m wonderful…perfect actually..” You glance over him, and feel your stomach flip as you see the obvious bulge in his pants. “Astarion, you-”

He waves you off, pressing a kiss to your stomach. “Do not push yourself, dearest. I wouldn’t want to break your pretty little body on our first night together.”

“I want you to break me.” You blurt out, heat rushing to your ears as you drop your gaze. As if you weren’t already a trembling and aching mess from the most thorough and pleasurable eating out you’d ever received. Yet somehow, with Astarion, it was never enough. “Please.”

For a moment, Astarion just gazed down at you, his wine-colored eyes deep in thought as he seemed to consider you. Finally, he smiled, and he reached down, untucking his shirt. “You are so perfect, darling, you know that?”

Even after all that you’ve experienced, your body burns with arousal again as you watch him remove his shirt, tossing it aside without a care. For a moment, you feel you might faint when he tells you you can touch him, but you manage to stay conscious. Your trembling hands caress over his smooth chest, feeling the cool, pale skin, and the lean muscles that it encases. Astarion shivers at your touch, adoring how he simultaneously feels both adored and wanted.

He unlaces his trousers, disposing of those and his underwear, watching your expression carefully.

The heat in your center doubles, and you already ache for friction, for him as you gaze at his body. His cock is long, erected upwards as he takes in the mess he’s already made. Veins curve around the shaft, dark against his taut, pale skin. You shudder as a thrill runs up your spine as you imagine how that will feel, and you wonder if you can die from anticipation.

“Is this what you imagined, darling? Or have your wicked fantasies bested me?” Astarion teases, his voice low as he returns to his position, howevering over you. He dips his head down, nibbling at your ear before moving down to press a trail of kisses across your neck.

“You are far better than anything I could have imagined, though...I’m not sure this isn’t fantasy.” You breathe out, feeling dizzy from his proximity.

“This is very much so reality, darling.” Astarion murmurs into your skin. “And I have every intention of proving it.”

He leans up a little, just enough so that he can grasp your hips, lifting them to meet his body. As you watch him bring his member to your opening, you wonder if you will ever remember how to breathe. But suddenly, you feel him push in, and suddenly all you can focus on is just how right it feels.

He takes his time, though it's easy for him to slip in, your body plenty wet from your arousal. He groans your name softly as he feels you clench down, as if your body is demanding to have more without delay. He happily obliges, pushing forward a little more intently, watching to ensure you are comfortable.

You have no qualms, however; every inch you receive sends little waves of pleasure radiating through your body. You wonder how you ever lived without this, the desperate ache inside of your core easing away as he fills you up. As he gets closer to his base, it becomes a bit of a stretch, your body not quite used to the length, but your moan is full of appreciation rather than pain.

Astarion bottoms out, a deep breath escaping him as he does. “My darling…” He murmurs, caressing his hands up and down your hips. His eyes are hazy, his body thrumming with heat, with the sheer ecstasy of being so deeply intertwined with you.

Your own body is pulsing, and you grow a little greedy, your hands grasping at his pale strands of hair. “Astarion...m-more…please…”

Astarion moans again, amazed by how he could have someone so incredible possibly want him. “Do not fear, my love. I have every intention of giving you everything.”

Astarion pulls back his hips, pushing them back in a little quickly, his stomach lurching as he hears the gasp that escapes you. He repeats the motion, building up a steady pace as he thrusts in and out of your warmth. It's like your bodies need one another, crave the most carnal and yet loving intimacy that can be had. Astarion's hands firmly grasp your thighs, wrapping your legs around his hips so he can thrust deeper, a little harder as he does so. Both of you moan, the pleasure intensified through the new angle. Astarion stops being careful, pumping in and out of your soft body at a reckless pace, needing to chase the pleasure that continues to rise higher and hotter between the two of you.

The two of you are lost to your ecstasy until you reach the height of it. You come hard and fast, your insides burning up from the tightly wound coil. You forget everything, calling out Astarion’s name without caring if others will hear it, clinging to him as your pleasure takes you. Astarion follows almost immediately after, hips stuttering before he just presses into you, allowing his hot release to fill up your body. Your thighs soon become slick as it spills out of your body, but you hardly notice, more focused on the sensation of Astarion’s body laying on top of yours.

For a few moments, you both just lay there together, panting heavily, minds spinning from the sheer amount of bliss the two of you have created. Your hands stroke through his hair, his own hands still cupping your waist as if you are the only thing grounding him to the earth.

“You are so perfect, my love..” Astarion whispers, his voice husky and low, barely a murmur in your ear. “Just positively divine.”

You smile, a little flutter of satisfaction warming your own heart. “As are you. I feel absolutely incredible, thanks to you.”

The white-haired elf chuckles, pressing a kiss to your neck. “Do not ever thank me, my darling. I’m almost ashamed to admit how much of this was for my own pleasure. You will have to force me to only think of you, next time.”

“Next time?” You echo, quirking a brow at him, hope fluttering in your chest. Astarion’s smile curls across his flushed face, and he tucks your hair behind your ear. “Of course darling. I can’t have my beloved resorting to her own hands the next time she needs to feel good. Especially if I can be the one hearing you moan my name.”

#astarion x reader #astarion x female tav #astarion x you #astarion x tav #astarion smut #astarion bg3 #bg3 astarion

333 notes · View notes

marauder-misprint · 3 months ago

Text

Slug Club

Series Masterlist

Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!reader

4.3k words

cw: fluff, drinking, smoking

“Did you have to take Regulus shopping with you?” Dorcas asks as you get ready for Slughorn’s party.

“You and Dory would have made me try on the entire store and then some.”

“Maybe so, but now he’s seen you in the dress.”

“So?”

“How are you going to have the moment when you walk down the stairs and he goes ‘Wow, you look dot dot dot beautiful’ if he’s already seen the dress?” Pandora asks.

You laugh and shake your head. “Someone has read too many romance novels. That doesn’t happen in real life and Regulus and I are just friends.”

“Did he not ask you to a formal party?” Pandora asks.

“He didn’t know it was formal when he asked,” you reply. “And he wanted to go with someone he could stand. I think the bar was set pretty low.”

“It’s Regulus,” Dorcas laughs. “That bar is high as hell.”

You and Pandora join her laughing. It wasn’t a secret that many people annoyed Regulus so he was picky with who he surrounded himself with. Well, as much as he could at this point. Barty had latched onto him during their first year and it was through Barty that Evan joined the group. You befriended Regulus during that year as well, bringing Pandora and Dorcas with you. So really, Regulus was friends with you and Barty, and you two came with baggage in the form of additional friends.

With your hair and makeup down, you go behind the screen to change into your dress. In classic Slytherin fashion, you had chosen a dark green dress and are pairing it with silver jewelry. You step out and do a spin for the girls. They cheer and whistle at you.

“He would so have a ‘You look beautiful’ moment if he hadn’t already seen the dress!” Pandora exclaims, standing up to fuss over you. “You look stunning, babygirl.”

You roll your eyes, but you’re smiling. “Not to feed your delusions, but he’s only seen the dress. My hair wasn’t done, no makeup, no jewelry. He hasn’t seen the finished look.”

“He’ll be drooling when he does,” Dorcas says.

You give the girls one last smile and leave your dorm. It was time to meet Regulus in the common room and then head to the party. The girls, however, follow you out of the dorm. They were nosy and wanted to see Regulus’ reaction. Sure enough, Regulus is waiting for you, although his back is to the stairs as he talks to Evan and Barty. The other two boys’ eyes go wide when they see you. Barty lets out a low whistle as Evan turns Regulus around by his shoulders.

“Black is one lucky man,” Evan says, shaking Regulus’ shoulders.

“Who knew our dove could clean up so nicely,” Barty adds.

“Shut up, Junior,” you say as you approach them, although your words have no bite. You like a polite compliment, which, for once, these were.

“Wait, Junior, how are you not in Slug Club?” you ask.

“You set one too many fires and suddenly Sluggy doesn’t care how brilliant you are,” Barty says with a sigh, despite sounding more amused at it than upset.

You turn to Evan, “And you?”

“Apparently when a potion calls for frogs, he wants you to-”

“Ah,” you say, holding up your hand. “I remember that class now.”

Evan had cut open the frogs and was far more interested in its guts, muscles and other innards to finish his potion, earning him a zero for the day and detention.

“You do look beautiful,” Regulus says, not at all stumbling over his words as Pandora would have liked him to. “Shall we get going?”

You nod, take his arm and leave the common room with him.

---

“Prongs, come on!” Sirius says, annoyed that James hadn’t spoken to him all week and now was refusing to tell him which tie was better.

“You dug yourself into this hole,” Remus mumbles, not looking up from his book.

“Oh my god, it’s not a date! I just need to get into the party and Lily is my way in!”

James glares at Sirius.

“He’s only been in love with her since we were first years,” Peter adds.

“If you two had better taste, I’d be asking your opinions, but alas,” Sirius groans and turns back to James. “Please, James, I’m not trying to mack on your love.”

“What if she was going to ask me, huh?” James snaps.

“She said she didn’t want to ask anyone. That’s part of why she said yes.”

“All these years, I’ve been asking her and you ask once. Once! How the hell does that make sense?”

“Logic would say she fancies Sirius,” Peter says before immediately ducking to avoid a pillow thrown his way.

“She does not fancy me. If she did, I wouldn’t’ve had to swear on James’ broom that I would be on my very best behavior.”

James jumps up and grabs Sirius by his shirt collar.

“You damn well best be a goddamn gentleman all night, Black.”

“I will if you tell me. Which. Tie.” He holds up two almost identical ties and waves them in front James’ face.

James takes a slight step back and takes in the ties.

“This one.”

“Thank you. Was that so hard?”

“I swear, Padfoot, if you do anything-” James warns.

“She will be treated like the lady that she is, Prongsie. Don’t you worry one bit. I’m not making any moves on her.”

“So why are you so desperate for a Slug Club party?” Remus asks.

The boys had been wondering this all week, but every time they asked, Sirius changed the subject or found a reason to excuse himself from the group. He’d have to tell them eventually.

“Tryin’ to suck up to Slughorn,” Sirius grumbles, not looking at any of them. He focuses on tying his tie.

Peter snorts a laugh. “Yeah, right, sure you are.”

“I am.”

“No, you’re not. You’d be paying more attention in Potions if you were,” Remus says. “Try again.”

“I heard there’s going to be booze at this party?”

“More believable,” James says. “But you don’t need my darling Evans for access to booze.”

“Host, no. Drinks, no. Person?” Peter lists off.

“Person?” Sirius asks, turning towards Peter.

“Person,” he repeats with a smile. “You’re going for a person.”

“Oh, are you jealous, Padfoot?” James teases. “Some doll ask someone else and you’re trying to make her jealous with Lily?”

“Maybe I want an evening away from you bastards,” Sirius suggests as he finishes getting ready.

He hurries out of the dorm before they can get another word in. If they were going off the idea that whoever he was interested in was in Slug Club, hence the needing to invite someone, he had time before they figured out it was you he was going to the party for. Of course, they’d come to that conclusion much faster as soon as word got back to them that you were at the party.

Sirius was delighted to see that Lily was waiting for him in the common room.

“Evans!” he calls. “Sorry I kept you waiting. You look ravishing.”

Lily gives him a kind smile.

“Thank you, Sirius. You don’t look too shabby yourself.”

Sirius spins, giving her a full 360 view. Lily stifles a giggle.

“So is James talking to you yet?”

Word had gotten out that James wasn’t talking to him fairly quickly, at least among the Gryffindors. It wasn’t hard to notice when the loudest of the Marauders were suddenly more quiet.

“Only after repeatedly telling him I’m not making a move on you.”

“A means to a mysterious end, that’s all I am to you?” she asks with a playful nudge.

Sirius shrugs. “The end is mysterious to me too.”

“Then why am I dragging you to this?” Lily asks more indignantly as they walk towards the portrait hole and out into the corridors.

“You’re not dragging, remember? I asked you.”

“You informed me, and I’m gracefully indulging you.”

“Same difference.”

“It’s not but okay.”

Lily wouldn’t tell anyone, but she actually didn’t mind that Sirius had insisted on going with her to the party. Not only did she not have to worry about asking someone, she did consider Sirius a friend, albeit using the term loosely, and she didn’t have to worry about any unwanted advances from him.

By the time they made it to the area Slughorn had reserved for the party, most of the Slug Club had congregated. The room itself was decorated to Slughorn’s taste, elegant with lots of greens in various hues. In Sirius’ opinion, it had a hint of old money flavor to it. And, to his delight, he spotted his reason for coming within a minute.

You and Regulus are chatting with Professor Slughorn in the middle of the room. Of course, there were a handful of other students around him as well, as well as some distinguished alumni. Sirius hadn’t considered that graduated Slug Club members could be invited. Lily takes Sirius’ arm and leads him in the opposite direction of Slughorn.

“Shouldn’t we say hello to the professor?” he asks as she pulls him to stand around an empty hightop.

“We will,” she says casually, looking around the room. “When there’s less people. Didn’t you see your brother’s over there?”

“Oh, is he?” Sirius asks, feigning having not noticed. “I didn’t notice. Suppose we can wait then.”

He had seen his brother. And, somehow more importantly, you. You in your dazzling green dress and silver jewelry that screamed Slytherin Royalty. He didn’t plan out all of tonight, but he knew he had to get close to you again, talk to you. The more he interacted with you, the more you’d have to like him. If you were going to claim to be a dog person, you had to like him. But until he could get close to you, he would chat with Lily. At least she was a decent conversationalist, given that in any other year, he’d rather die than be dragged to a Slug Club party.

After your initial greeting from Slughorn and the conversation turned more toward Regulus and the other Slytherins around you, you zone out. If anyone tries to get your attention, you already had planned to say you were admiring the decorations. Or that you were seeing which other guests you recognized. You cough to stop yourself from laughing when you see Sirius walk in with Lily. Regulus gives you a confused look so you gesture in their direction. His eyes go wide.

“Merlin…” he mutters.

You both quickly turn your attention back to Slughorn’s conversation, lest either of you be discovered staring at the Black sibling. You nod as the other Slytherins let out various words of agreement to something Slugborn said.

“Regulus, how is the Quidditch team doing?” Slughorn asks, changing the subject unexpectedly.

“Oh, ah, I’d say we’re doing well. Training tough like usual,” Regulus answers.

“Then you should meet Mr. Tradeswell. He manages the Magpies, as you know,” Slughorn says, draping an arm around Regulus’ shoulders and taking him to meet one of the older guests.

You give the other Slytherins a polite smile and follow them. You did not plan on being separated from Regulus at this party. If that meant suffering through a conversation solely about Quidditch with someone with professional connections, so be it. You were more than happy to be quiet and listen. It doesn’t take you long to zone out of the conversation again, only picking up bits and pieces.

“Regulus here is Slytherin’s seeker. Quite a talent, he is,” Slughorn was saying.

“Are you captain?”

“No, sir,” Regulus answers, his voice dripping with even politeness. You smile at how rehearsed his tone sounds to you. “We have a seventh year captain, and she’s brilliant on a broom. I have my fingers crossed for next year.”

Regulus shoots Slughorn a smile. He knows he’s a shoo-in for the role, especially if this conversation goes well.

“Ah, well, you know it’s more than luck to be captain,” Mr. Tradeswell says. “You have to know the game, your teammates, the positions, plays, everything.”

“Oh, sir, I do. I sub in for different positions during drills. I think that’s something a captain should be willing to do, have such a deep understanding of each position that they can fill in where they are needed most. While my specialty is seeker, I’m more than competent at chaser as well.”

“And your weakness?”

“Beater, sir.”

The man nods. “It’s good for a captain to be able to spot weaknesses. In yourself, in your team, in opponents.”

“I wholeheartedly agree.”

You scan the room. Sirius and Lily are off to the side of the room by themselves. He appears to be entertaining her, although she occasionally glances toward Slughorn. They hadn’t been to say hello to him yet and you knew that was required. It was why Regulus had dragged you up to him the moment you two arrived.

“Let’s just get it over with,” he had muttered to you.

And then you got stuck talking with him for what felt like forever.

“Are you on the team as well?” Mr. Tradeswell asks you, bringing you back to the conversation.

“Oh, no. I’m no good on a broom.”

“She’s being modest, of course,” Regulus says, wrapping his arm around your waist.

You flinch slightly at the unexpected touch, but you don’t pull away or remove his arm. It steadies you once you’re over your initial reaction.

“I can fly, but not nearly well enough to be on a team,” you say, giving Regulus a damning look. “I’m much better suited for the stands.”

The man laughs and your eyes find Sirius as he follows Lily toward the professor.

“Every team needs their fans,” the man says, giving Regulus a wink.

Lovely, he was assuming you were more than a friend. With his arm around you though, you couldn’t blame him. Mr. Tradeswell continues talking with Regulus and you’re allowed to let your attention drift. Why you kept going back to Sirius, you weren’t sure. Something about him being here was off putting. Even from a distance, you could see how uncomfortable talking to Slughorn was making him. He didn’t even try to hide it. He was looking everywhere around the room but at the professor and he kept shifting his weight. Unlike his brother, he didn’t have an arm around Lily, not even her shoulders or a linked arm.

Then he made eye contact with you and gave you a wide smile. You give him a nod in response.

“Pardon me, but I’m going to get a drink,” you say and Regulus’ arm drops from your waist.

He gives you a concerned look, but your relaxed smile calms his nerves about you leaving. He thought you were uncomfortable with the conversation, and while you weren’t enjoying it per se, you really just wanted something to hold in your hands.

You could have predicted that Sirius would excuse himself from Lily and Slughorn’s conversation as soon as he saw you leave his brother’s conversation. And that he did. He approaches the punch bowl at the same time as you.

“Darling, what a total surprise to find you here!” he exclaims, reaching for a cup.

“I literally told you I’d be here.”

“Did you?” He gives you his trademark lopsided smile.

“You didn’t seem to know what it was then. So how’d you convince Lily to bring you?”

“She asked me.”

You snort a laugh and pour yourself a drink. “Yeah, I don’t believe that.” You pause and sniff your cup. “Do you think this is spiked?”

“Do you want it to be?” Sirius asks with a cocked eyebrow.

“Godric, please.”

Sirius pours his own and sniffs it as well.

“Sad to tell you that there’s nothing good in here.” He looks around the room and then smiles. “But I see someone who definitely can help us.”

You follow his gaze to one of the younger older guests. You recognized her as an older Slytherin but you didn’t know her name. Without thinking, you start to follow Sirius as he walks toward the woman.

“Andy!” he exclaims, arms outstretched as you get closer.

Her eyes nearly double in size when she recognizes who’s approaching her.

“Sirius? I thought you weren’t in Slug Club?” she asks with smile that looks uncannily like the one on Sirius’ face. “This your girlfriend?”

You and Sirius both laugh awkwardly before Sirius hugs the girl, Andy.

“I’m not and she’s not. In Slug Club or my girlfriend,” he says before turning to you. “This is my cousin, Andromeda.”

You hold out your hand to the girl. “I recognize your face. You were a Slytherin, right?”

“Yes. As were my sisters, Narcissa and Bellatrix. However, I’m like good ol’ Sirius here. Disowned and blown off the tree.”

You recoil slightly, not knowing what that meant.

“I’m, uh, actually here with Regulus,” you say, looking over your shoulder at the younger Black. He is still deep in conversation with Mr. Tradeswell. They moved their conversation to a table and if your eyes weren’t mistaking you, Regulus was taking notes.

Andy laughs and you can’t help but hear the family resemblance. Regulus laughs like that.

“So if you’re here with Reggie, who are you here with, Siri?”

You look over at Sirius at the nickname that you’d never heard anyone call him. You give him a curious yet amused look.

“Lily Evans. Brilliant witch but not my type,” he says, ending the sentence with a more hushed voice. “Anyways, do you have anything to make this party more tolerable?”

She was definitely a Black. As soon as Sirius asked, a mischievous look shone in her eyes and she reached into her purse. She pulls out a handful of small vials of clear liquid. She claps them gently into Sirius’ hand.

“Don’t get caught, Siri. I’m still on decent terms with Horace. I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Andy, you’re the best!” Sirius says, sliding the vials into his pocket but keeping two out.

He hands one to you and simultaneously, you cap them and pour the contents into your drinks.

“I’m not going to… wake up in Feldcroft or anywhere, am I?” you ask.

“They’re not that strong, darling,” Andy says with a smirk on her face. She was clearly enjoying this conversation as an unexpected delight to her evening. “But they’ll make the conversations feel less dull.”

“Okay then,” you say. You give Sirius a smile. “Bottoms up!”

You chug your drink. Sirius and Andy watch with semi-impressed looks on their faces. Once you finish, you hold out your hand to Sirius. An expectant look is etched across your face. He subtly shakes his head but hands you another vial nonetheless. You go back to the drink table to refill your cup. You don’t hear Sirius bid his cousin farewell and follow you.

“Didn’t think you’d be chugging, love,” he says.

You jump at his proximity. You automatically roll your eyes as you turn toward him and pour the second vial into your cup.

“You didn’t just suffer through a conversation with Mr. Quidditch Manager over there,” you say with a jerk of your head toward Regulus.

“Quidditch Manager? James should really meet him.”

“Whatever he wants to know, he can get from Reg,” you say. “I think he’s taking notes.”

Sirius laughs, “Of course he is… They’re a bit the same in that sense.”

“And that’s where it ends.”

Sirius sips his drink. You’re still looking at Regulus so Sirius has a moment to take in how being near you makes him feel. On his toes? Challenged? Alive?

You don’t seem phased when you turn back and catch Sirius staring.

“You like my dress too?” you ask cheekily. “So does Regulus. And Evan. And Junior. And Pandora. And Dorcas.” You smirk at him. “So join the club.”

Sirius hums and regrets what he’s going to say before he says it.

“It would look better on my dorm floor.”

You laugh. Loudly. Sirius certainly wasn’t expecting that and it draws the eyes of those immediately around you. It includes Lily and Regulus, although Mr. Tradeswell doesn’t seem to care.

“Yeah, sure it would.” You pat Sirius on the shoulder. “You’re not even one drink in and you’re saying silly things.”

“Habit, darling,” he says, trying to cover his tracks. “A flirt’s going to flirt.”

You roll your eyes at him, but he just smiles now.

“Actually, though, how about we step out to finish these?” he asks as he pats his pocket enough for you to hear the soft tinkling of glass.

You shoot a brief look at Regulus who has returned to his conversation. You were supposed to be his date. What about Sirius’ date?

“Won’t Evans miss you?” you ask.

“Don’t make me laugh,” Sirius says, already grinning. He could tell you want to say yes but are looking for a reason to say no. “As long as I… ugh, stay out of trouble, she doesn’t care.”

You purse your lips, giving Regulus one last look.

“Fine. You got any of those cigarettes?”

His grin gets wider, if that’s even possible.

“I thought you didn’t smoke.”

“Would you believe that I don’t drink either?”

You share a knowing look with him. Sirius throws an arm around your shoulder and guides you out the entrance of the room. You really hoped Regulus wouldn’t miss you too much, but he looked content when you left. You and Sirius don’t wander far. He turns into an alcove with a window. He cracks it open before leaning against the wall and fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He hands you one and lights it for you.

“Just so you know,” you say, taking a drag, “I’m only out here because Reg looked okay.”

“He can fend for himself. He’s a big boy.”

You shrug. “He was pretty strung out that Sluggy wanted everyone to have a date for this thing.”

“A big boy who focuses on the wrong things… Most of the time.”

“He’s set to be Quidditch captain and his grades are nothing to turn a nose at. I’d say he focuses just fine.”

“Sure, but he’s in Slug Club.”

“So is your Lily Evans.”

“And she was friends with Snivellus until last year. Everyone has their faults.”

“Our faults are abandoning our dates to split mystery shots and smokes,” you say with a laugh. You finish your second cup, place it on the window ledge and hold out your hand for a vial. “Come on now, Black. Don’t be stingy.”

“You’re already a shot ahead of me.”

“And I’m about to be two. Give it.”

He gives you a look you can’t quite read before handing you a vial. You uncap it and take the shot.

“So,” you say after making a gagging noise, “Andy. What’s this tree she’s burned off of? You’re burned off of? Is Reg burned off it?”

“We, my parents have a family tree at home. They update it. And once you’re disowned, your face gets burned off. She’s engaged to a muggleborn so by family rules, off she goes. I ran away. Off I go.” He pauses and blows smoke out the window. “Your precious Regulus is still on the tree.”

“My precious…” you chuckle.

Sirius takes a shot. “He is yours, isn’t he?”

You immediately stop laughing.

“Regulus?”

“Yes.”

“No, Merlin, no.” You shake your head a little too fervently. “Friends. Just good friends.”

You hold out your hand for another vial. Sirius holds it out to you, but he doesn’t let go when you grab it.

“Are we friends?”

You narrow your eyes at him, trying to pull the vial from his grasp.

“Are we friends, darling?” he repeats.

“If it gets me this vial, yes,” you spit.

He lets go and you almost throw the vial to the ground with the force you were pulling it with. Almost. You uncap it and take the shot. You were beginning to feel the effects of your drinks.

“Why does it matter if we’re friends?” you ask curiously, although your face is wearing a cold expression.

“You’re supposed to like me,” Sirius says with a shrug.

“What?”

“You claim to be a dog person.”

Your cold laugh echoes around Sirius. It wasn’t the warm laugh that made his stomach flip; this one made it sink.

“You’re still on about that? I don’t get it, Black.”

“If you just gave me a chance,” he says, taking a step toward you.

You take a step back. “I did. And I decided your brother is more my taste.” You tilt your head. “He still is.”

“Why?”

“For the person he is.”

You snuff out your cigarette before it burns your fingers. You give Sirius a polite smile before turning to return to the party. You barely hear Sirius speak as you walk away.

“But I am a dog person.”

---

“Sorry I was gone for so long,” you say when you find Regulus.

You’re grateful he isn’t talking to Mr. Tradeswell anymore. He’s just sitting with other students.

“Where did you get alcohol?” he hisses, leaning toward you.

“Oh, you can smell that?” you ask, briefly trying to smell yourself.

He brings up his hand to stop you. “Yes. Now where?”

“Met your cousin officially. Andy. She gave some to Sirius and, well, he likes to share.”

“I think he likes you more than he likes sharing.”

You roll your eyes. “He just wants to be friends for some reason.”

“Yeah… Some reason…”

tags: @2dloveshp, @yearninglustfully, @made-for-oliverwood, @ilovejamespottersomuch, @hisparentsgallerryy, @itsseaberri, @corawithfanfiction, @devilslittlehelper, @jllyunn, @barnes70stark, @crowleythesexydemon, @flow33didontsmoke

Can you tell I like ending chapters with little comments from Regulus? Also debating creating a series masterlist so I don't have to keep updating each chapter. Anyone got title ideas beyond "A dog person"?

#marauders fic #marauders #sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #marauder-misprint #slow burn #slytherin!reader

279 notes · View notes

just-some-random-blogger · 6 months ago

Text

Break Bones?

There has been nothing but tension between you and your ward, and Breakbones has only added to it.

bodyguard!Gwayne Hightower x Lannister!Reader x Harwin Strong | 4k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has golden lannister hair, enemies to lovers, forced proximity ig, im just a girl!reader, angst?, jealousy, typos, etc.

A/N: this the '3rd part' to Seeing Red (1) and Seeing Green (2) but you dont have to read either to understand what's happening <3. Also, I think a lot of facts are skewed here in this fic but... Roll with it pls thx. I hope someone enjoys this because I do nawt 🥲

Tagging: @lancedoncrimsonwings @targs-on-zorses @barbieaemond @arabellasleopardcoat @dreamsandconstellations

@uniquecroissant @holdingforgeneralhugs @b00kw0rmsworld

Lunch was my favorite meal. This time of day was most pleasant, with the sun high in the sky and the birds singing. Normally at this time, whatever grogginess the morning gave me would long be gone. But today, it was not so.

Gwayne turns to me as I pointedly smack on my meal to annoy him. If my day is grim, then so should his.

He chews harder than he needs to then swallows, "I see frolicking with Breakbones has made you forget your pedigree."

I raise my brows, "nay," I set my spoon down, "my meal is simply so scrumptious that I cannot contain myself."

Gwayne releases a breath. I watch him as he reaches for his teacup. He looks as though he's using all the muscles in his body to withhold an eye roll. He takes a sip; the heat of the tea leaves his lips ruddy.

I watch him set his floral cup down. I watch him as he leans back on his chair. When did his get that long? The locks by his temples go past his cheeks now. A line forms on his face when I stare too long. I avert my gaze to my own teacup. The milkiness of his face is reflected in my drink. My stomach churns.

"So-" "How-"

We look at each other after speaking at the same time. I open my mouth, meaning to tell him to go first, but he cuts me off and simply speaks, "how is Breakbones?"

Offence latches on my being. How ill-mannered of him not to even feign the courtesy of allowing me to speak first. Irritation springs forth, so I quip, "what?"

Gwayne scoops some honey and stirs it into his tea. He licks what remained on the silverware.

I avoid his eyes as he does so.

"Your whereabouts have not gone unnoticed by me," he says dryly, "I am aware that you have since been accompanied by Breakbones to the market more than once."

A horrid scowl finds my features, "and just who is this foul creature?"

Gwayne's expression falls until my scowl is reflected on him. His jaw sets, "I can assure you; you have already wholly vexed me this morn; you needn't feign ignorance to add to it."

"But I am not acquainted to this brute who breaks bones," I hiss, "and I need not feign something which comes easy for me."

He realizes then that I was sincere in my own vexation when I heatedly continue.

"Your delusions of my character will not bleed into reality, Ser." I pointedly raise a brow, "whichever part of my body you think would associate with such people who garner such names would surely rather strike your cheek."

He furrows his brows as he tilts his head, "yet it seems you are ignorant to the fact Breakbones is your beloved City Watch commander."

My brows furrow. I am silent for a moment before speaking, "Ser Harwin?"

He scoffs out a chuckle, "oh, yes," he takes a sip of his tea, "the brute with such a name is the one you have extended such warm amity to as of late."

A moment of concern and even alarm floods me. But it is fleeting the next moment, and my expression falls. I huff. A pit grows in my stomach, "how acrid and crude."

Gwayne's brows quirk as he gulps his tea. The manner in which his lips curl pierce through my belly in the most unpleasant of ways.

"I am well aware that you and I have never met eye to eye, that you disagree with my interest in beautiful things-"

His expression slips.

"-but your want to deter me of my only companion here is repellent, even for one as you."

Companion? Gwayne's blood rises just as I from my seat across him, "such as I?"

"Such as you!" I maintain, chucking my table napkin onto my half-finished plate.

"I see your unfeigned ignorance has made you callous to my efforts to please you," he words harshly, slowly rising from his seat.

"But it is not your work to please me!" I snap, "your work is to keep me safe!"

"From library books?!" he raises his voice, "from cakes and dresses? What is your danger in King's Landing when not only do a thousand guards reside within these walls, but your own lord brother is seated upon the council of the king?"

My nostrils flare at his words. I decide to maintain my dignity by forfeiting my response. I gather my skirts and flee him.

He releases an irritated laugh, "oh, how very like of you!"

"Do not wait. I have errands to accomplish."

"Ha! Do accomplish them well with your beloved Breakbones."

I storm away from him. I storm and storm until my face rains. It annoys me how my breath shortens and how my throat constricts. I run off to my chambers and dismiss any ready servants there. I crumble to my bed and wring out my melancholy.

The letter I received late last night calls to me from my vanity. I sigh and reach out to it. I slide down my bed and will the contents of the letter to change.

It does not work. The words are as clear as they were last night underneath my lamp, if not clearer now in afternoon shine.

Highgarden would be honored to receive Lady Lannister. House Tyrell presently prepares its home in hopes it will be hers in the apparent future.

I rip the parchment to shreds, as if its riddance would destroy the reality it held.

It does not.

It comforts me, nonetheless.

I wash my face and reapply rogue before exiting my chambers. I begin to walk off but freeze when I see Gwayne at the end of the hallway. He does nothing. He says nothing.

I turn the other way.

I find myself heading to the guard's quarters, where I soon learned Ser Harwin was not. A guard informs me that he was in the training grounds, and so I promptly make my way there.

The moment Harwin catches the golden glint upon my head, he is distracted. He pays less attention to his pupils, offering me a smile and nod in regard. Soon, when I am close enough, he says a quick word before abandoning his post altogether.

Harwin struts up to me with another smile and nod, "my lady Lannister."

My heart swells at his kind regard, a stark contrast of Gwyane, "lord Strong."

"You must forgive my state," he wipes the sweat dripping from his temple, "an hour remains of our session, then I will be free to accompany you to the baker's today," he assures. He smiles but it quickly disappears as he adds, "after I wash and change, of course."

I press my lips tightly together, yet it does not contain my giggle.

Harwin crosses his arms at the sound, his own lips unable to contain his own giggle.

"I am in no hurry, commander," I clasp my hands together, "feel free to ignore me until you are ready."

He walks backward, "I pray you do not require me to do something impossible."

I chuckle at the sentiment, but I roll my eyes. I sit myself on a crate nearby and watch as the man instructs his pupils. He demonstrates the proper handling of a sword and strikes the dummy. For a moment, I think of Gwayne training.

Then suddenly, I remember our argument and find myself calling out, "break bones."

I watch as Harwin turns to me.

I flatten my skirts on my lap but do speak any further.

"You call, my lady?"

I straighten my back, slightly taken aback that he responded, and shake my head, "never mind."

Harwin does not think twice on it. He continues with his lesson.

Watching him teach was... titillating. His voice was rich and sure, his actions more so, and his demeanor was truly that of a commander. More and more, I thought of 'break bones' and continued to convince myself that this was not him. Soon, I was not enslaved to my thoughts and became thoroughly entertained by Harwin's instruction. It was almost a shame that the hour passed as quickly as it did.

Harwin quickly comes to me, announcing he will not take long to tidy up, then leaves just as quickly. Unable to help myself, I decide to ask a guard about this break bones fellow. Before I can even ask if that man was truly his commander, he's already droning about See Harwin Strong. Before he could finish, the said man was beside me, face and locks slightly damp.

Harwin and I make our way to the stables after and I immediately start, "I did not realize you had quite a reputation."

I watch my feet peak out from beneath my dress as we leisurely make our way to his steed. Harwin, with his hands behind him, turns to me with a quirked brow, "and what reputation might that be?"

"Breakbones," I look up.

He simply stares.

"I thought Gwayne thought it up to deter me from your companionship."

He purses his lip, "...does it?"

I give him an incredulous look, "perhaps if I had known it before I knew you. I was testing the name on you. I did not expect you to respond."

"Is it very ill-fitting?"

"Yes," I speak immediately. I tilt my head, "you are very gentle."

He laughs. It is quiet but hard enough that he must clutch his gut and take a moment to gather himself.

Though it was not like him to mock me, I could not help but feel perhaps that in this moment he was. A frown finds me.

I think of Gwayne and his condescending laughter. My chest tightens.

He breathes in deeply before finally calming. Harwin notices my dejected demeanor and it wipes the grin off his face, "forgive me. I laugh only because I have not yet been called gentle in earnest."

It does not rid my frown.

"It pleases me," he mutters.

I stop in my tracks when he reaches for my hand. My pulse quickens when he takes and lifts it.

"I am glad to appear as such to you," he speaks carefully, blue eyes locked on mine. He presses a chaste kiss at the back of my hand. He maintains his hold until we are in front of his horse.

Harwin helps me up the brown stallion. He maintains a respectable hold and even fixes my dress as I seat myself. I look down at him and his smile. I nod, indicating that he can now climb up.

He shakes his head, lips still curled upright, "I do not think it wise for me to ride with you today."

I furrow my brows, "why ever not?"

Harwin takes the reins of his horse, "well, I fear my hasty washing was not enough."

I roll my eyes, "I-"

"And I desire to uphold the gentle nature you recognize in me." Harwin begins to walk.

"I do not understand."

He snorts lightly, "I fear my softness will not remain if I ride behind you."

My brows only furrow deeper.

Harwin catches this and chuckles. He mumbles under his breath, "the lioness is but a kitten."

"I heard that."

He raises a hand, "a jest. An innocent jest."

I spent a good part of the afternoon scrutinizing cakes and frosting, meticulously ordering the perfect assortment to be delivered to me tomorrow.

By the time Harwin and I were back in the Keep, I could tell that he was worn, not only from being made a taste tester against his will, but also from walking back and forth.

Another image of Gwayne flashes in my mind. Guilt and dread threaten to spill from my lips.

Harwin helps me down his steed and softly smiles once I am stood before him. My heart stings at his drowsy expression. My forehead curls as I reach for his cheek, "you have been most patient and kind."

His face perks at my touch.

"I am most grateful," I brush his curls away from his face, "I would not have been able to accomplish what I have today without you."

Harwin straightens when I pull away, seemingly reinvigorated.

"Forgive me if my meticulousness cost us a longer trip than expected."

He chuckles and shakes his head, "you award me more credit than I am due. It is an honor to witness the care you put into your gifts."

I watch him as he leads the horse into the stable. Harwin continues once he's walking back towards me, "I am sure Gwayne's nameday will be heartfelt, knowing his lady took great measures to prepare her gifts for him."

The thought makes me want to pull my hair out. I sigh and simply walk off.

Harwin's expression falls. He follows after me, "is something wrong?"

I watch my shoes peak from beneath my skirt with my steps. I turn to him when he calls me by my name. Harwin has a look of concern upon him. I comb the tips of my golden hair in agitation, "I... do not wish his nameday to come."

A line forms between his brows.

I sigh, "surely you are aware that my move to King's Landing was to secure myself a husband."

Harwin did, in fact, not know this, but does not have the chance to say so.

"My brother says the only house interested in me is that of the Tyrells."

His brows quirk. A doubtful thought.

"I did not..." I turn to the ground, "think my demeanor so odious that I am able to attract but one marriage proposal. Surely my family name weighs more than that."

The thought makes Harwin's forehead curl.

"I am not due to leave for Highgarden until the next moon, but I figured if it pleases Gwayne, I would set him free on his nameday. Another gift for him."

Harwin frowns, "do you not think your decision rash?"

"Rational, perhaps."

He does not seem to like my resolve on the matter, and yet he does not press any further. The rest of our walk is silent, and soon we are in the hall to my chambers.

Both Harwin and I slow at the sight of Gwyane standing attention at my door. He shifts in his spot, turning to us. When we reach him, I notice the way his jaw feathers.

The auburn haired man lifts his nose slightly, "Breakbones."

Harwin nods, "ser Hightower."

"How kind of you to return the lioness to her den," he turns to me, pale blue eyes ripping into my flesh, "I do hope she did not bare her teeth and claws too much."

Harwin raises a brow, "her company is most welcome, teeth and claw included."

I turn to Harwin. He smiles at me. Gwayne watches. His blood curdles.

"She tells me tomorrow is your nameday," Harwin looks to Gwayne, "what plans have you made to celebrate?"

"Whatever my lady has planned for me," he chuckles dryly. His begins to turn red in the face.

My brows furrow, "worry not, Gwayne. There shall be no errands to attend to on the morrow."

"How magnanimous," he smiles, or rather sneers, "your commander seems to need the day off. See how worn you've made him."

"Enough," I quip.

"Agreed," he blurts, "you should retire," he motions with his head, "I will treat the man to some wine," he turns to Harwin, "and perhaps he will the same, as a nameday treat."

Harwin nods, "perhaps on your nameday itself. I have an evening patrol I must cover."

Gwayne's nostrils flare, "unfortunate."

With that, I thank Harwin for accompanying me and head inside my chambers.

Gwayne places a hand on Harwin's shoulder, leading him down the hall, "I must express my appreciation for lightening my load as of late."

"My duty is to serve, but it is a pleasure to do so for the lady Lannister."

Gwayne pulls his hand away then brings both behind him, "I'm sure for one who is daily surrounded by sweaty men, it truly is."

Harwin does not respond. They continue walking down the hall.

"I am glad to know she did not forget my nameday and neither of us will need to be worked by her tomorrow."

Harwin gives a lopsided smile, "if it comes down to it, ser, I will do any work she may require of you in your stead."

Gwayne's face twitches but he expertly covers it up with a low chuckle, "oh, how good. Do not deny me then if it happens."

The two men part ways at the end of the hallway. Gwayne heads for his chambers, feeling irritated and suffocated. He bathes but it does not soothe him as much as he hoped. The next morning, he wakes up groggy and attempts to bathe it away, but the water was as ineffective as the night before.

He gets dressed and makes his way to the solar. He stops in his tracks when he hears the ruckus from inside. It doesn't take him long to recognize the voices, which is why he decides to enter and interrupt the argument taking place inside.

I gasp softly at the sound of the door opening. The sight of Gwayne's concerned expression only makes the tears from my eyes spill further.

Tyland turns to him. He does not mask his ire, which is why he does not greet him. My brother simply quips, "you will not leave her today."

Gwayne turns from my brother to me. It takes a moment before he realizes it was an order, "of course, my Lord."

The master of coin sighs and heads for the door. Before leaving, he raises a hand, "a servant will come to deliver your nameday gift tonight or tomorrow. Lannisport has been overflowing as of late, but I was assured your delivery will be swift."

Gwayne nods, "you have my thanks."

Tyland leaves after this, and Gwayne walks over to me.

I pull away before he can touch me. I lean towards the table and push the assortment of cakes towards him, "you will not need to steal my sweeties today, ser."

I walk towards the window, turning my back on him, uncomfortable with the idea of the man seeing me in disarray. He is insensitive to this and follows after me. I move away, but he does not relent.

"You need not tend to me!" I snap, strands of gold sticking to wet cheeks. I brush my hair away and helplessly point to the table, "there is a box on your chair. Tend to it! I have no use of you."

Gwayne pulls his head back. The sentiment stung, but he decides not to take offence. He cannot, not with the red eyes staring back at him. He decides to walk off and head for his usual chair.

Sure enough, a smallish wooden box tied in a red velvet bow rests on the cushion. He sets it down on the table before seating himself. He turns to me then back at the box. He undoes the bow and opens it. He stares at it. His silence reads to me as disinterest.

"Gloves. Practical but stylish," I walk towards him. He turns to me as I pull the chair beside him. I sit down, taking one glove and the hand it belonged to.

Gwyane spares a moment to watch the red leather be slipped on him hand, the rest of his moments are spent observing the tear laced lashes before him.

After buttoning the glove in his wrist, he stretches his fingers, opening his closing his hand to test the fit. His eyes do not leave me as he does so, "it fits me perfectly."

"As it should," I say, reaching for the other, "I paid the artisan well for this."

He grabs my hand just before I can do that with his. I stare at the veins that run past his sleeves, "I am exhilarated by the knowledge the shape of my hands are known by you."

My lips part.

Had it been any other day, had the circumstances been different, I would have received that statement with offence, for it was one of clear mockery. Yet, with how his dimples vaguely made an appearance and how his lips pressed softly into a smile, it seemed... genuine.

And it seemed to make my heart skip.

I mutter, "I stole a pair of your gloves and had it fitted."

Gwayne chuckles.

My heart skips again.

"Clever girl," he releases my hand and removes the glove I put on him. He takes the ribbon on the table then turns to my hair, "red goes well with gold, wouldn't you agree?"

"... my hair is already made."

"You would be glad to know that I am skilled in unmaking it," he pulls my chair closer to him.

My body burns as he reaches for my curls. My hair was braided by the sides in a fashion I quite enjoyed; I did not enjoy the idea of him unmaking it.

"-just as I am skilled in braiding," Gwayne adds.

I knit my brows at the idea.

"Do not look so shocked," he chuckles, "my sister has as much hair as you, and I did not enjoy how it flew to my face when we were children."

Before I can speak, he grabs my shoulders and turns me away. He gathers my hair and my skin pricks at the feel of his fingers against my nape.

He is silent when he begins. I close my eyes and focus on the feeling of his light touch.

"I would braid Alicent's hair when she wept as well."

My eyes open. Oh.

"Thankfully, it was not a frequent occurrence."

I turn to my skirt.

"I do not tell you this to press you for answers," he softly clarifies, "merely to express how I think it comforted my sister... and how I wish to do the same for you."

I do not reply. My lips wobble.

"I was instructed not to leave your side today and I do not wish to add to whatever offense that could bring a lioness to tears."

I silently wipe my face.

Gwayne says nothing more after this, not until he finished braiding my hair.

He rests the braid on my shoulder. I inspect it, seeing he incorporated the ribbon into the pleats and even managed to make a small bow at the bottom. I look up at him. He frowns and reaches for my cheek, wiping my tears.

I take a deep breath to calm myself, "my brother received an offer for my hand."

Gwayne stills.

"Well," I turn to the box on the table, "he received multiple."

He leans on his elbow. He smiles, though against himself, "we came to King's Landing to find you a match, did we not?"

"It seems my brother has other plans," I mutter, "apparently Tyland means to use me as leverage for the crown. He wishes to wed me to the Tyrells so that he can have a firmer hold on Highgarden. Jason does not know this. He was led to believe I was simply going to King's Landing to purchase new dresses."

A line forms between his brows, "I presume Jason found out about Tyland's plot."

"Yes. Jason writes that I should put my dresses to good use and entertain any suitors that come to me whilst I am in King's Landing."

He nods curtly. He sighs and shrugs, "why the tears then? Does the idea of entertaining men upset you so?"

"..."

"... Tyland reminded me of what happened last time when I had many suitors at my beck and call."

Gwayne clenches his teeth. He rests his hand in front of me, "I swear on my life that no one will come close enough to take advantage of you again."

His hand itches to reach out, but he instead goes for the cakes, dragging it in front of him. He shoves a chocolate cake into his mouth and chews.

I watch him lick his lips. He notices how I lick mine. He speaks through a mouth half-full, "do not think I will share simply because you are sad."

I snort and roll my eyes. Gwayne is relieved this was the reaction he garnered.

"I had enough cake from tasting them with Harwin yesterday."

He stops chewing.

I notice the frosting on the corner of his lips and wipe it with my thumb, "enjoy your cakes."

Gwayne is perfectly still.

"Happy nameday."

#gwayne hightower #gwayne fanfic #gwayne x reader #gwayne fluff #gwayne angst #gwayne x you #harwin fanfic #harwin strong fanfic #harwin x reader #harwin strong x reader #harwin fluff #gwayne hightower fanfic #gwayne hightower fic #gwayne hightower fluff #gwayne hightower x reader #harwin strong #harwin fic #harwin strong x you #gwayne fic

407 notes · View notes

ninibeingdelulu · 8 months ago

Text

"I'm right here"

plot- an argument with depressed geto CLICK ME

"I can't believe you're being like this!"

Suguru's voice cracked with frustrated accusation, slamming his textbook down with enough force to make you flinch.

"It's like you're purposefully trying to drive a wedge between Satoru and me just because you're jealous!"

You felt your hands ball into fists at your sides as that familiar spike of molten defensiveness surged through your veins.

How dare he diminish your concerns so callously after everything you'd been through together? As if your feelings were some trite, immature flight of fancy rather than the genuine loneliness you'd been grappling with lately.

"Jealous?" you scoffed, tossing your pencil aside with a heated glare.

"You really think I'm that petty? That this is just me throwing some pathetic tantrum over not getting enough attention from Wunderkind Geto?"

Suguru opened his mouth - undoubtedly to fire back with another biting remark - but you barreled forward, finally allowing the dam holding back weeks of bottled resentment to burst open.

No more mincing words or letting things fester until they'd reached this ugly, toxic fever pitch.

"I'm worried about you, jackass!"

You shoved off the couch, gesturing wildly as the torrent of pent-up emotions flooded free in a tumultuous rush.

"That's all I've wanted from the start! For you to actually let me in about what's been eating you up so badly lately that you've become a total goddamn stranger!"

Suguru seemed to visibly deflate somewhat under the brunt force of your outburst. But that brief hesitation was rapidly replaced by the familiar stubborn set of his squared jaw and narrowed onyx gaze which indicated the imminent eruption of his own fiery temper.

"Oh, so now you're my therapist?" he sneered, bracing his elbows on his knees as he leaned forward in your direction with acerbic challenge.

"Sorry I've been such an inconvenience while busting my ass trying to actually secure my future instead of wasting time with teenage melodrama!"

You shook your head in disbelief, throwing your hands up as another harsh bark of laughter cut through the tension like a serrated blade.

"Un-fucking-believable...Is that seriously what you think this is about? Me being petty over you 'wasting time' with dumb high school bullshit?!"

Suguru simply glowered in stony silence, the muscle in his clenched jaw visibly twitching.

Waiting for you to either continue your tirade or offer more proof of your apparent delusions over the state of things between you.

Well, if he wanted you to spell out the tangled knot of anguish and confused longing festering in your chest with stark clarity...Then so be it.

"I'm in love with you, you arrogant prick!"

The confession exploded out of you with enough volcanic force to make you immediately slap a hand over your mouth.

Yet once uncorked, there was no recapturing the deluge as it raged on, raw and unfettered.

"And it's been ripping me apart watching you spiral so far down in this pit of darkness without letting anyone in to try and pull you back out!"

Suguru looked as though he'd been struck across the face.

All residual ire seeping away into slack-jawed shock and visceral vulnerability cracking those steely exterior walls you'd slammed against so fruitlessly in the past.

His throat bobbed in an audible gulp, those intense obsidian eyes you used to lose yourself in now swimming with a thousand different conflicting emotions roiling in their tumultuous depths.

The sudden, stark silence stretching between you was enough to buffer even the frantic hammering of your pulse thundering past your ears.

The fear of obliterating one of the most important relationships of your life in that combustive outpouring constricted around your throat like a vise of pure dread.

Then, after what felt like an eternity...Suguru's expression shifted again.

His features settling into an almost haunted kind of resignation piercing directly into your very soul. When he spoke, his typically unflappable baritone emerged cracking and subdued - the most naked glimpse you'd ever witnessed of what laid beneath the surface he fought so vigilantly to repress.

"I...I know..." he confessed in a gust of breath barely above a whisper.

One shaky hand scrubbed over his face, refusing to meet your wide-eyed stare. "Fuck, I've known how you felt and I-I kept pushing you away so I wouldn't hurt you more by—"

The strangled catch in his throat cut off whatever fragile truth seemed to be teetering on the precipice of being laid bare between you.

Suguru's free hand balled into a fist clenching the material of his pants until his knuckles bored white while haunted shadows flickered across his downturned visage.

Never before had you witnessed him look so...utterly wrecked. So excruciatingly human under the weight of inner demons you'd never known to be lurking underneath it all.

Not until they'd already carved out pieces of him you might never get the chance to recover.

But you couldn't allow either of you to retreat into that isolating darkness anymore. Not after clawing your way this deep into the open wounds between you both.

Too many regrets were already trailing behind in your wake...

The deafening silence hung thick and palpable in the wake of Suguru's shattered admission.

You could practically taste the roiling torrent of unspoken truths and anguished vulnerability thrashing violently just beneath the surface he was struggling so viscerally to repress.

You knew with every fiber of your being that if you didn't reach out in this pivotal moment, the fragile threads binding you both together risked snapping under the immense strain.

And you refused to let that happen - even if it meant wading blindly into the shadowy depths of whatever demons were currently carving him hollow from the inside.

Tentatively, you bridged the couch cushions separating you and laid your palm overtop that trembling fist clenched with white-knuckled force against his thigh.

Suguru flinched slightly at the contact, but didn't immediately recoil away. Emboldened by that microscopic victory, you gently pried his fingers open to lace them through your own in silent invitation.

"Suguru..." you murmured, injecting as much tender reassurance into his name as humanly possible.

"Whatever it is causing you so much pain...you don't have to keep shouldering it alone anymore. I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

His jaw clenched spasmodically, those turbulent eyes still steadfastly averted from meeting your concerned gaze.

You could see the muscle twitching in his cheek from the sheer force he was exerting to keep that impenetrable mask locked firmly in place.

But you refused to relent, rubbing the pad of your thumb soothingly across his knuckles in hopes of coaxing him to simply breathe. To open himself up even a sliver after all this time...

"Please," you implored, daring to shuffle closer until your thighs were a hairsbreadth from touching.

Until that painfully unguarded expression was directly in your line of vision, begging to be witnessed without judgment or reprimand.

"Let me help carry this for you, 'Guru. You've been alone with this anguish for too long..."

Finally, finally , some of that tightly wound tension began leeching from his hunched shoulders as if the words had sliced through some of those invisible restraints shackling him down.

Suguru raised his other hand to rake shakily through his tousled raven locks, unravelling before your very eyes.

When his gaze at last lifted to lock with yours, the sight of those inky pools swimming with so much naked, harrowing vulnerability physically winded you.

"I'm so afraid..." he confessed in a ragged whisper thick with shame and trepidation.

His hand convulsed where you clutched it in your lap as if the admission had torn open a fresh, gaping wound inside.

"I've convinced myself I have this grand purpose to dedicate myself to completely, but there's a part of me that wonders if it's all been an excuse...a distraction from facing how truly lost and messed up I've become."

Tears glistened in those haunted obsidian depths and your heart shattered at the sight of Suguru's meticulously constructed walls crumbling before your eyes.

The instinctive need to pull him into your embrace and chase those demons away was near overpowering.

Yet you resisted, allowing him to unfurl at his own pace without outside influence. Simply being the steady presence and supportive tether he so clearly needed more than he'd realized.

"Everyone told me I was destined for greatness after awakening to my talents...That I possessed a gift entrusted to rectify this curse plaguing our kind."

Suguru's voice had descended into a hoarse, halting murmur as the floodgates burst completely open.

Each gravelly syllable etched in anguish carved into his very marrow.

"But deep down, I've always been so goddamn afraid of failing. Of disappointing everyone and being seen as the fraud I've convinced myself I must be for harboring any weakness or-or..."

His words finally failed, fading into a ragged exhalation torn from his very core as he lifted his imploring gaze beseechingly to yours.

"God, why am I like this? Why does any of this matter when all I've wanted is to open my eyes and see you smiling back at me without all this bullshit driving us apart?"

Your throat constricted wordlessly, scorching tears blurring your vision at the utter desolation contorting Suguru's features into the most wrenching expression imaginable.

Here was the strongest, most indomitable person in your life bearing the very depths of his shattered soul before you in total surrender.

And you instantly knew in that pivotal, crystalline moment - there was nowhere else you could ever fathom being that wasn't by his side.

Providing the steadfast strength and acceptance for those fragmented pieces until he felt whole enough to stand on his own once more.

There would be more tears, more shards to sift through together in confronting this pervasive darkness slowly consuming him from the inside out.

But the first painful, cathartic step had been taken. And you fully intended to never allow Suguru to slip backward into that isolating abyss ever again.

So you did the only thing left to reassure him he wasn't alone in this monumental fight for his very sense of self and purpose.

You surged forward and pulled him into your fiercely protective embrace - cradling his shuddering form flush against your chest as his own quiet sobs finally shook loose in heartrending waves.

"I'm here...I'm right here, 'Guru..." you whispered over and over into the downy strands of ebony hair tickling your lips.

"We're going to get through this, I swear it..."

Your shared tears and ragged breaths mingled achingly between your twined bodies as a new, mended path forward gradually unfurled with each passing heartbeat.

From the ashes of everything you thought you'd understood about him and the conflicted world he inhabited...

Bound now by the decision to walk whatever darkened road stretched ahead completely united in purpose and love at long last laid bare - come what may.

432 notes · View notes

desire4ella · 1 month ago

Note

HIIII!!! Can you write a Hwang Inho x fem!reader fanfic where we are his pet but like we have a daddy kink also we r really slutty, very experienced in sex while he isn't and seduce him while he's sitting on the couch watching the game and sipping on his whiskey and it becomes a smut?? Also I would LOVE it if he uses pet names like "little princess", "sweetheart", "my little girl" while we call him "daddy"?? THANK YOU ALSO IM SORRY IF IT SOUNDED WEIRD I NEED TO FEED MY DELUSIONS😓😓

𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐉𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄 𝐀 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐁𝐘 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: Inexperienced!In-ho x Pet!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You thought your man was just another lame that doesn’t know how to work your body, but boy oh boy does he show you wrong.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 1.27k

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: Daddy kink, Pet reader ( your not necessarily played to be as such ), NOT PROOF READ!

Being In-ho’s pet was something you wouldn’t in a million years think you’ll ever be, matter of fact if someone told you that you would be dressing up in a two piece lingerie for him, you’d probably laugh in their face, but here you are twirling around in front of your body long mirror. Nit picking at any fleeting strands of thread, your eyes bounce up and down your frame, seeing any flaws that could possibly manifest.You were quite nervous to show In-ho your little scandalous outfit but you knew in the end that anxiety would all fade away when he was balls deep inside your quivering cunt.

Taking a deep breath,you smile confidently into the mirror “you got this girl” which i mean common on now,you were y/n y/ln, you were practically the only person that could get In-ho to his knees. He was wrapped around your little finger and you weren’t planned to let him go.

The dim light of the chandelier cast long shadows across the room, the island glow, glittering through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Hwang Inho sat on the plush leather couch, a glass of whiskey in his hand, the amber liquid catching the faint glow of the lamp beside him. His tie was loosened, the top buttons of his shirt undone, revealing a hint of his collarbone. He looked every bit the powerful, untouchable man he was—until you walked in.

You sauntered into the room, barefoot, the metal strapping brushed up against your stomach . The fabric clung to your curves, leaving little to the imagination. Your hair was tousled, your lips glossed up with a baby pink lip gloss that also matched your lingerie , and your eyes locked onto his with a predatory gleam. You were his pet, his little princess, but tonight, you were in control.

Inho’s gaze flicked to you, his expression unreadable, but you didn’t miss the way his grip tightened on the glass; and the way his adam’s apple bobbed up and down told you all you needed to know. “Little princess,” he said, his voice low and smooth, “what are you doing out of bed?” You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you moved closer, your hips swaying with every step, until you were standing in front of him. You reached out, plucking the glass from his hand and taking a slow sip, your eyes never leaving his. The whiskey burned your throat, but you didn’t flinch. You set the glass down on the table, then climbed onto his lap, straddling him.

Inho’s hands instinctively went to your waist, his fingers digging into your flesh. “You’re playing a dangerous game,” he warned; this was quite the irony considering the fact that an even more dangerous game of mingle was playing right below you-but oh well you much rather play this game instead.His voice a low growl.His eyes darkened, and you could feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles coiled beneath you. You shifted slightly, grinding against him, and he let out a sharp breath. “You’re being a very naughty girl, sweetheart ” he said, his voice rough.

“Maybe,” you whispered, your lips brushing against his ear. “But you like it when I’m naughty, don’t you, Daddy?”Inho’s hands tightened on your hips, and you could feel the heat of his body, the way his cock was already hard beneath you. You reached down, undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one, your fingers trailing over his chest. He was lean but muscular, his skin warm under your touch. You leaned in, pressing a kiss to his collarbone, then another, working your way down.

“Little girl,” he growled, his voice strained, “you’re going to regret this.”You looked up at him, your eyes wide and innocent, even as your hand slipped between your legs, rubbing yourself through the thin fabric of your nightgown. “I don’t think I will, Daddy,” you said, your voice breathy. “I think you’re the one who’s going to regret not fucking me sooner.”

Inho’s control snapped. He grabbed you by the hips, flipping you onto your back on the couch. His hands were rough as he pushed your lingerie flaps to the side exposing your bare pussy to him. You were already wet, your arousal glistening in the dim light. He didn’t waste any time, his mouth descending on you, his tongue lapping at your folds.You moaned, your hands tangling in his hair as he ate you out with a fervor that surprised even you. He wasn’t experienced, but he was eager, and that was enough. His tongue flicked over your aching nub with hunger and passion, his soft lips wrapped around your clit as he sucked on it like it was a five star meal-technically it was.

For an inexperienced man,he sure knew how to use that mouth of his. That mouth that ordered death and despair was the same mouth causing you much pleasure. Clamping your legs around his head,your eyes shut tight as you heard your own juices being swished back into your dripping pussy. His wet muscle felt glorious and he dipped and prodded inside your glistening walls,making sure to never miss a spot. “ Fuckkkk—dadddy,yes right there!” with the pace that he was going, you weren’t going to last long.

My God, he could give johnny sins a run for his money. This was it, you never would have thought it was possible to die from getting your pussy ate, but good lord the way he sucking the soul out of you,told you otherwise. Zaps of electricity flooded your body like streams of water as you clenched down hard on his tongue. You let out a silent scream, back arched and legs spasming as you came hard. “ That’s is baby,let it all out for me princess” he mumbled as he gripped unto your legs, pulling you more closer to his mouth . Whining from overstimulation you weakly push against his head,to which he just smacks your hand and away and continues to slurp up your remaining juices that’s flowing down your fluttering lips.

Lesson for today was to NEVER judge a book by its cover.

dividers by @dollywons and @fairytopea

y’all pls follow me! my goal is to reach 1000followers by the end of this yr!🎀

#squid game #hwang inho smut #hwang inho x reader #hwang in ho #frontman x reader #front man squid game #front man #in ho smut #player 001 #ang3l🎀🧁#front man smut

364 notes · View notes

daenysx · 9 months ago

Note

imagine giving james a skincare sesh where reader is seated comfortably (on his lap ehm) and he lets her put all sorts of moisturizers, face masks and even lip balm on him and he secretly LOVES it and after they eat homemade cookies and watch their comfort show

thank you for requesting!! i had so much fun writing this, it's my skincare routine applied to james. i guess that means he's literally my boyfriend now (support my delusions please <3333) you can send me requests for james!

james potter x fem!reader, fluff

"are you ready?" you say, grinning. you carried most of your skincare essentials to living room, ready to give your tired boyfriend a nice spa day.

"yes." james walks out of the bathroom. "i washed my face."

"with the cleansing jel?"

"yes, baby." he sits on the couch next to you. you place yourself on his lap expertly, his face looks dry and clean. you lean to give him a kiss on his cheek, james settles down on couch with his back to pillows.

"okay." you say, clapping your hands. you're excited to give him a nice treating, he deserves all the best. you've never understood how boys have clear and smooth skin naturally, james certainly doesn't use as many products as you do, but he lets you do anything you want to him. skincare is like a therapy for you, quality minutes you spend on yourself. it's relaxing, taking care of your body without a single thought in your mind, you want james to experience it, too.

"let me just pull your hair back first." you say quietly, using tiny hairclips to secure his curls.

"why are you whispering?" he asks, whispering.

"i wanna create a relaxing ambience for you." you answer. "whispering is a part of it."

"oh." he teases. "okay."

you take your face toner in your hand, pouring some of it on a cotton pad. "close your eyes, jamie." you say, start applying it on his skin.

james relaxes into the pillow, his hands keep you balanced on his thighs. he likes how excited you get to take care of him, he likes being spoiled by you. your fingers are gentle on his face, almost invisible.

"now i'm gonna put on a face mask, handsome." you say, tearing the package of the mask. "it can feel a bit cold."

"that's okay." he mumbles. you place the mask on his skin carefully, adjusting the sides to cover his entire face. "what does this do?"

"um," you read the package. "it's for hydration mostly, and it has vitamin c in it."

"cool." he has no idea what vitamin c does for skin.

"we're gonna wait for 15 minutes." you say. "can i massage your hands while we wait?"

this must be some kind of special heaven for james. he gives you his hands blindly, you put on hand cream on the back of his hands and start rubbing it nicely on his skin.

james sometimes complains about how rough his hands feel, he washes them a lot and always neglects applying moisturizer. the cream feels good, like he has the skin of a baby now. you're being really sweet on him, he likes the way his muscles loosen up under your fingers.

"you're an angel." he says, a deep sound coming from his throat when you press a tight spot between his thumb and forefinger. "my fucking angel."

you smile, giving the same care to his other hand. james feels his hands go numb when you're finished. you clean the remnants of the cream on your hands before taking the mask off his face. "there you go." you put the used mask aside. "feels good?"

"i feel like a baby."

you laugh. "you're gonna be like a baby when i'm done."

it's a nice promise, james likes it very much. "i'm gonna apply some under eye cream now." you whisper. "you have no dark circles, i'm so jealous."

"it's because i actually have a sleeping schedule, lovely girl." he smiles. "something you lack, you know."

"hmm."

you massage his face a little bit before applying some moisturizer. you don't think any more products are needed for james, his skin is already perfect and the mask takes care of a lot of things. you want his face to be relaxed, so you keep your fingers on his cheeks. he smiles a lot, there are little lines on the corners of his lips and eyes that start forming. you can't help yourself, you kiss his lips softly. he immediately reacts but you pull yourself back, focusing on your work.

"what's the point of relaxing if i'm not gonna get a kiss?" james frowns.

"you'll get your kisses." you promise. "when i'm done."

applying moisturizer is so easy, his skin is glowing now. you make sure you cover every little spot on his face. "it smells good." he says. you nod even though his eyes are closed. "it really does." you say.

"and now," you put the cream away. "lip mask."

"lip mask?" james opens his eyes. "how will i kiss you if i have something on my lips?"

you laugh at his dramatics. "it never stopped you before. you always ruin my lipstick, remember?"

"not the same thing."

"come on, be a good boy for once." you tease. james parts his lips in shock. "once? this is a vile accusation."

you stop him, putting on a tiny bit of lip mask on his lips. he presses his lips together clumsily. "it tastes nice. is that strawberry?"

"you're not supposed to eat it!" you laugh. "leave some of it at least."

"mm, okay." he says. you fix his hair, and put a kiss on his cheek. you hand him the remote before leaving his lap. "i'm gonna bring you some cookies, can you pick a show?"

james nods, watches you clean up the mess through sleepy eyes. his skin has never felt this soft, he wants to pinch his own cheeks. he opens up the show you both like as he waits for you.

you come back with a plate full of cookies. james pulls you into his lap again. "i'm gonna eat just one." he says smugly. "i can't ruin my lip mask and i don't want crumbs on my face."

you laugh. "you're getting really good at this skincare thing."

"thanks to my angel." he says, he kisses your cheek three times. "i love you so much."

"i love you, too, baby." you say, your hand in his curls. "i can do it anytime you want."

"good, because i don't think i can go on without this anymore." he says like it's so obvious. "now, i remember i was promised kisses."

you settle down on his lap. "i don't wanna ruin your lip mask."

"it's not ruining, babe." he disagrees. "i'm willingly sharing my lip mask with you."

you laugh until your chest hurts.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter fic #james potter x fem!reader #james potter fanfic #james potter imagine #james potter fluff #james potter fanfiction #marauders #marauders era #marauders imagine #marauders fanfic #marauders fic #marauders fics

1K notes · View notes

tricksh0t · 2 months ago

Text

★ stag

☾ tywin lannister x top m reader

𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘴𝘩0𝘵 ⛥ need that old man part 2, also happy new year

𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴 ⛥ 2.43k words

cw: hair pulling, from behind, first time anal for tywin, age gap, use of boy as a nickname for the reader, pretty long, small mention of period-typical homophobia

Tywin was never one for hunts, not the ceremonious ones. Hunting was a necessity. It was not like joustings and tourneys, the entertainment found in the desperation and death of boastful warriors; those, he could understand. It is joy and amusement there, and he knows there is no joy to be found in letting your scouts capture the beast for you. It is duller still to plunge your blade into a helpless creature.

Most of all, there is no necessity to send the Lord Lannister, the commander of the Lannister army, a trusted advisor to the crown hunting. The so-said "better taste" of the game you hunted yourself is nothing but delusion to cover up for the time wasted, he knows this too.

There are always men perfectly capable of hunting for him, and if there aren't any, Westeros is damned for its incompetency.

Tywin only understands a good, old-fashioned hunt with purpose.

His army marches on in its journey to tame the North. Night falls, and dinner must be served. So, he hunts.

He's a noble, still, a man who enjoys the comforts of filling meals and cupbearers and wine, regardless of how worthless they are in showing anything except that he is still wealthy.

That is why here, on the table of his very own tent, he's skinning a stag.

He won't be the only one to eat it, no. The man behind him will, too.

You were, seventeen years ago, a soldier; but, just like now, you were also more than that. You were a killer of Targaryen Generals, which grants you today the title of General too: the Commander of the remaining Baratheon army that is still loyal to the admittedly blonder, true Baratheons.

The Baratheon colors became the Lannister's. Yellow became gold and red, but colors were nothing in the face of loyalty.

Tywin's the Lord of Casterly Rock while you're just a lesser cousin, a distant nephew, the farthest there is from inheriting Storm's End, yet you are only one rank below him in power, and that is something to admire.

Suppose that's why he allows you a cut of his meat.

"You stare." Tywin says.

There's no surprise in the statement, even with his back turned towards you. "I do."

"Yes, you do. Often, might I add. State your intentions, plainly."

You know each other, you might even dare to say, well. Tywin is a clever man, he always considers his alliances and his relationships carefully, and you have his trust. It is not easily given.

That does not mean he won't walk on eggshells around you.

"You know, there's reason to my staring. You're easy to stare at."

"Choose your next words carefully."

You have your worth, you're valueable, you're irreplacable. Digging a dagger into your throat won't be easy.

He wedges the butcher's knife into the table with a strong stab. It'd be anger, if that wasn't his usual way of doing it. Here, it's a show of strength. He turns to face you.

"I apologize, my Lord, it appears I wasn't speaking plainly." You play. Oh, you play. You Baratheons don't know when to quit. "You look good. Not good like the pretty princesses in their skirts, but like the men, if you have seen it, if you can understand it, the men on hot summer days that are still bound to the sword, training, muscles golden under the sun."

Tywin doesn't realize he's entertaining you when he says, "We are under shade. It is almost fall."

"Then let me fix it." You look interested now, sitting up, it's a pursuit. "You hide your body under armor, because one does not need to see your body to see your strength. You are commanding, powerful, outside of the physical. Your voice is deep and it allures me even though you don't intend it."

He raises a brow. At this point, not denying you is encouraging you.

You serve him. He could execute you just for saying this. Men have been killed for less, though that is a kind of command he has never given. This is a first, to be wanted like this, by a man, no less, and since many years.

Tywin picks up his knife, turns towards the table, back to the stag, back to skinning it. He's busying his hands. "Continue."

You stride forward, boot upon the earth like you're sneaking up to prey. He does not move to turn, nor does he open his mouth to stop you.

"You're an admirable man, you're ruthless, you're cunning. You plan ahead, you lead the Crown's army." You huff out something of a laugh at yourself, "I am only feeding your ego now, am I not?"

"You think that will get you somewhere?" Tywin returns. HIs knife separates a stubborn bit of the stag's skin from its muscles with a sickening schlick.

"No, I don't believe so." Your hands come to rest on the table on either side of him. It'd be trapping him if he were any other man but Tywin.

He wields the knife.

"And you think this will get you somewhere?"

"Maybe." Your voice is closer to his ear now. He almost flinches. Instead, you press your nose against his neck, and the rest of your head against the back of his.

Intimacy, warmth. It gets colder the further north you go, but he knows that's not why he isn't pushing you away now.

"I think, you'd have ordered my head or killed me yourself if you weren't interested."

Silence is enough of an answer.

You have been, at times, that man bound to the sword in the summer. Tywin has seen it, though he's never allowed himself more than a glance. He knows the sight of them, but pressed up against him now, he can feel your muscles beneath the thinner garments you wear under your armor.

Much the way you admire the strength of him, he can feel your strength; and again, he has seen it in the way you cleave down your enemies, but he is feeling it now, and it is different.

His silence was enough then, and his words won't be enough now, not unless they are stop or you're dead. So he chooses, instead, to poke fun at you.

"You aren't even the age I was when the Mad King was felled, do you know that, boy?"

If it is a night of entertainment that he'll find today, then he might as well have his fun. After all, he's a noble, still, a man who enjoys his comforts.

"Is that supposed to stop me?" You laugh against the skin of his neck.

The knife comes down into the wood of the table again, threateningly close to your hand. You don't flinch. He admires that.

There's the first couple of kisses against his neck. They're wet, which isn't quite his preference, but they're tolerable.

Tywin sighs, which he regrets quickly.

He gave you an inch, and you took a mile. "What was that?"

"A sigh, boy." His voice is stern. It'd be threatening, if you didn't hear that tone all the time. "Keep going."

Your hands undo the clasps of his leather overgarment, then untuck the shirt from his pants, and then meet his skin. They're cold against his stomach, but quickly warming up as you rub over it, like a lady's belly.

He sneers. "Don't keep that up. Move on."

You laugh. He should smack you, but he doesn't. "Apologies, my Lord."

"Does it please you to call me that?" His hand comes back to grab a handful of your hair, a grasp for control in this situation.

"Yes." You don't deny it.

This desire you have for him is his upper hand. He turns around and roughly tugs your hair back, pulling a wince from you.

He's rougher still with the laces of your pants, undoing them quickly and finally wrapping a hand around your cock. You're different from him, unrestrained, already groaning. "Do you want me because I'm the Lord of Casterly Rock and you're insignificant to the Baratheon house? Are you trying to see which is the highest bed you can sleep on?"

"No-no, my Lord."

That surprises him. He works you quickly, root to tip, the cold and the dryness of it all don't help. "Then what is it?"

"I want you," Instinct calls and you pathetically thrust your hips into his hand. "fuck, because it's your strength and power that make my cock stir."

"Funny, that it's my hand now."

For a moment, Tywin considers if he should continue the affair. Since Stannis and Renly Baratheon's individual rebellions, he hasn't been entirely sure of your loyalty. Blood is thicker than water, and it seems the Baratheon blood in his grandchildren has spread thinner than even water.

You'd be his pet, if he kept this up. The Baratheon army that follows you would be entirely his, secured.

"But a hand isn't what you want, is it?"

He spits on his hand then continues to jerk you off, and, "Fuuck."

"You aren't making it easy to tell." Tywin laughs, thoroughly amused.

"No, my Lord," You gulp back a moan to speak properly in front of your Lord, "I wanna fuck you."

"Fuck me? That's hilarious."

He considers it. It's true that it's something he's never tried, but he's not sure if he's willing to try it at all. Well, then again, men are driven by their cocks, and you're no exception.

"Please."

You sound so pathetic, it's cute. Tywin sighs again, letting go of you. "Alright. Go fetch oil. That is what you men use, yes?"

Tywin was not a youth seventeen years ago, and he is much less a youth now.

That does not mean that his knees are weak, nor that he can't fuck, just that he tires easily. His only concern was to take it with caution.

Sex is such a vulnerable act, after all. That's why it's such a powerful tool.

He never cleaned up the table. There was still blood on it, steadily but lazily flowing out of the stag where he'd cut open right down the middle.

Tywin cared for his cleanliness, but he didn't seem to care right now. His well-established dominance had faded into pleasured sighs and heavy breaths, as this was a sensation he'd never felt before.

It isn't how he imagined it, like a cold, struggling humping against his back and into the only hole he'd let you use.

Instead, there's pleasure in it, his nerves lighting up with shocks as if lightning. Then there was one that spot you'd rub against sometimes with terrible consistency.

It's carnal, is what it is.

Your lips find his neck again, and he lets out a shaky sigh. The kisses you give are wet, and he likes it.

With each time your pelvis meets his ass, his breath gets shakier.

"My Lord–"

"Don't speak."

It's terrifying, how much Tywin likes this. He'd always thought queer men to be bumbling fools, if only he knew the pleasure that came with it.

Your hand finds his; he takes it, squeezes it. It's somewhat of a blood union, with stag's blood.

The irony of it, a dead stag, a Baratheon fucking him.

Some sort of possession runs through him. You wear his colors.

"Fuck." He says, an indecency. This is indecent. This is fraternization. Oh, but he couldn't care less right now.

His hand comes back, finds your hair again. He tugs, causing your lips to pull off his neck with a smack. He does it for nothing but the pleasure of hearing you gasp, a grasp for control where he finds it.

"My Lord." You don't seek to speak this time, he knows it. You're only moaning out for him, and it's rather pleasing.

He leans down further, pressing his ass into you, pushing your cock deeper into him. His back arches like a whore's. It's unbecoming.

And yet the heat feeds into it. It's still cold, here, but the way you work your bodies heats the both of you up in what feels like a mania to have more, to seek more, to want more, to fuck because you need it.

It's like a fire in his old, worn body.

The hand that was holding his travels down to his body, grasping his cock. Tywin gasps. His hand quickly follows, wrapping around your wrist with a slapping sound, and yet he doesn't pull it off.

It's stimulation on both sides, your hand around his cock and his asshole clenching around yours.

He almost loses his mind.

He tugs at your hair again, pulling another groan from your lips. It's a reminder of his control. You enjoy calling him your Lord, so he has to remind you that the title has meaning to it, before he loses himself to instinct.

He does, in the next moment, opening his mouth to let out a breath of a groan.

He shuts it, quickly. Tents are only fabric.

His hips follow in pursuit of instinct and pleasure, anyway; forward into your hand, finding pleasure for his length, then backwards onto your cock, spearing himself open.

When he cums, his mouth falls just slightly open to moan as quiet as instinct allows, and his hole clenches around you in tandem. You follow soon enough, groaning into his skin with enough restraint to remember you are an army general.

Tywin leans against the dirty table to catch his breath, before he's back to a fearsome commander the next moment.

"Get yourself tidied up." He's pulling his garments back on rather impersonally, because he cannot stay vulnerable. "And do not breathe a word of this to anyone."

Despite that, there is some joy to knowing he's enjoyed this, especially as you wipe off the evidence of his pleasure on the dirty rag he'd been using to clean the blood off his hands. "Yes, my Lord."

"Keep that smirk off your face, boy." Tywin's face is back to cold and emotionless, though there is something of an amused lift to his eyes. "When next you decide to seduce me, do pick a better location. Army encampments are dreadful enough."

You can hardly speak about next time before he waves you off.

You'll see him later tonight, anyhow.

Tywin does not care to make sure you're walking away when he turns around, because it's the best he can do to hide the amused smirk that rises on his lips. A new pet, hm?

A smell makes itself apparent and Tywin remembers there is still a stag to skin.

#tricksh0t #backsh0t #x top male reader #tywin lannister x male reader #Tywin lannister x reader #tywin lannister x top male reader #tywin x reader #tywin x male reader #tywin x top male reader #got x top male reader #got x male reader #got x reader #game of thrones x reader #game of thrones x male reader

208 notes · View notes

queers-gambit · 3 months ago

Text

Never Make War in Anger

prompt: ( requested ) after being separated on the battlefield, your husband cannot locate you among the carnage, so he comes to rely on Nenya.

pairing: Elrond x female!wife!reader

fandom masterlist: The Rings of Power

word count: 5.7k+

note: a little burnt out so this isn't much at all. my apologies.

warnings: accidental LOTR Merry quote, purposeful LOTR Aragorn quote. i don't think there's foul / explicit language but i'm blind to it. gaslighting, marital spats, small angst, some spoilers, probably more hurt and comfort, brief breaking of the Fourth Wall, some blood, minor injury, happy but brief / abrupt ending, adapted and edited Poppy s2e8 monologue.

Despite the light The Rings of Power brought back to Lindon, it had never felt so dark than in this moment. You stood in the middle of your chambers, tears in your eyes and few dribbling down your cheeks while facing your husband - who was equally as emotionally distraught.

"What're you saying?" You spat. "That you intend to seek new living arrangements?"

"I need time, my star."

"From me?"

"For now, yes. Until this matter with the Rings is resolved, we'll only prolong this hurtful cycle against one another."

"So, your solution is to separate?"

"For a time - "

"How can that be your decision!?"

"How can you be so delusional!? These Rings are not what we think - "

"'Delusional'!? Oh, the nerve of you!"

"A poor choice of wording, but - where are you going!?"

"To live my delusions! By all means, Elrond, take all the time and use all the space you should need!" You snarled at your husband, storming away from the shared bedchamber as tears of frustration threatened to blind you. Rushing down the golden halls of Lindon, you relied on mostly muscle memory before nearly colliding with Commander Galadriel - who startled at your (rare) emotional state.

"Commander - "

"My apologies, my Lady," you rushed, trying to skirt around her in an effort to seek solace. But her hand extended to snatch your elbow, bringing you to a halt.

"My friend... If there's something wrong, I would hope you know, you might confide in me?"

You nodded, "Yes, my friend, I know."

"Then what's the matter?"

You did not intend to sound so condescending, but your scoff was now unrestricted as you sneered, "You've eyes to see with and ears to hear, surely, it is not a riddle."

"The Rings?"

"What else does my husband feud with us over?"

Galadriel sighed, releasing your arm only to drop her hand to yours and give a supportive squeeze. "I am sorry for the turmoil you experience at my hand..."

"I was as much at fault," you shook your head, "defending you to the King - going against Elrond... Surely, it did not help when Lord Círdan echoed us. Must've felt like everyone was against him - you, me, the High King, his - "

"He doesn't think we are against him - "

"Oh, no, merely that we are delusional."

"Well, that seems a touch harsh...?" You offered her a pointed look, making her gasp slightly, "Do not tell me - he has weaponized his words against you?"

"He's much practice."

"I will speak to him - "

"You would get farther talking to a tree, Galadriel... Just leave it be..."

You shook off her hand to make your escape, escaping the palace grounds and seeking solace by a quiet stream. You stared at the fish in the clear water, swimming in circles that your mind raced in; envious of the seemingly peaceful life the gilled creatures lived. You felt overwhelming guilt, hating that you were at odds with your husband, but hating the impending doom over Middle-earth more. The threat to humanity wasn't something you could morally ignore, but it wasn't something your husband could either; being why he was so adamant the Rings of Power were influenced beyond the pale by Sauron.

You argued the good of Galadriel and Celebrimbor and even himself outweighed Sauron's - by comparison - minuscule hand. Sauron was but a drop in the vast ocean of creation; and not even Sea Worms could overshadow the waves of benefit offered.

Elrond said the Rings couldn't be trusted.

You thought he was becoming paranoid.

When you refused to consent to his side, he proposed separation - thinking distance would give you both time to calm down. After demanding to know how he could've come to that decision, he accused you of being delusional; and, well, you know the rest, Reader...

Well, the separation never truly stuck because in the following days, High King Gil-galad dispensed Elrond's company; which resulted in Galadriel's capture and both the formation and deployment of the Elvish armed forces. At the helm, your husband, and amongst the ranks, yourself; along with kin, neighbors, and friends.

You soon rode to devastation and loathed the idea of riding away on such silent terms with your husband. So, you sought him out under the support of your closest companion and usual second-in-command.

"Elrond," you tried to speak to him before the final leg to Eregion; both mounted on war horses of great height and muscle. He was stood gallantly under one of the several surrounding trees, looking ever bit of a Commander as you had been appointed as in the decades past.

"Are you all right?" He asked stiffly, making your defenses go up automatically. The bustle of the preparing army drowned your conversation.

"Yes, I just... I do not wish to depart on such tense terms, husband."

He nodded, sending several curls bouncing as he readjusted his stirrup leather for a more suitable length. "All is forgiven," he eased.

"I don't remember apologizing."

Elrond sighed through his nose, looking up to meet your eyes for the first time with his thin lips set in a straight grimace you were unaccustomed to seeing. "Have you come to prolong this fight or make amends?" He asked tersely.

"Make amends for a fight I did not start?"

"Doesn't matter who started it, what matters is the means of our argument! The content behind it! The morals now in question and the foundations we base ourselves upon!"

"I'd have to agree," you snapped. "I came to offer words of parting and tidings before we ride into combat, but should this be the time we need to argue, then please, let us take it." Your horse snorted as if in agreement, tossing its head defensively. "You and I stand on opposite sides of the Rings, we will not see eye-to-eye on that, yet you hurled such distasteful words at me. How do you think we should proceed?"

Elrond sighed deeply, sounding dismissive, "With respect, beloved, we're about to charge into the unknown, right now isn't the time for our marital woes."

You scoffed, nodding, "Noted."

"Wait, I did not - "

But you had already spun your horse and encouraged the stallion to trot away. You passed the High King, nodding with respect before moving to the helm of your legion - still Commander of the Southern Armies, just not the active leader of this particular united devision of Elves. You surveyed your company with a small smirk, nodding in impression as your second-in-command rode to your side.

"What news?"

You accepted the helmet he handed over, nodding in thanks as you sighed deeply, "We march for Eregion, Erthon, there's no other news of discussion."

"Did you speak to Elrond?"

"Barely," you chuckled. "Come, let us not fret over such trivial matters such as my marriage. We ride to war today, my friend."

"To war then, Commander," he smirked, offering his hand for you to clap - which you did before the King called all to attention. You listened to the rousing speech Elrond wrote, not a single syllable sticking as your brain was far too occupied with the frustratingly trivial matters of your heart. However, when the first brigade of horses started after their commanders, you quickly followed suit as the procession moved out of the safety of camp for Eregion's aid.

It was a hard ride, but at long last, you gathered in ranks and charged at the opposing army; only to halt and wait for negotiations conclude, then charging (again) through the Orcish camp at Elrond's command. Your advantage was the use of horses, able to cover distances and barrel through both structures and bodies of your enemies. Yet horses still fell to the marshes and jagged arrows, to blunt axes and the ammunition of trebuchets. To enemies. To mistakes. To war.

Carnage surrounded you, whether your own forces or the Orcs or the beasts used in battle, death swept through all. You fought for hours, sun chipping away through the sky; losing sight of loved ones and loyal soldiers. "Elrond!" You sobbed in relief upon locating him across the field. You called his name twice more, catching his attention finally.

When he saw you, he called your name and hacked his blade to any surrounding Orc so he could move through the mud for you. "My love," he panted, reaching to take hold of you, "I-I think we need to retreat?"

"Are you asking me?" You questioned, holding onto him for balance; wincing when blood soaked into your boots.

"I think?" He sniffled, "There's too many of us falling, my love, I don't think we can - or should, I don't think we should - "

"I know," you nodded, reaching for his cheek.

"I'm not - I don't think I can - "

"Hey, look at me, look at me!" You had to shake his shoulders, holding him by his curls in a nonthreatening grip. "I know. But Elrond, hey, you command our forces, you command this army. Remember why we marched, what we're fighting towards, what this is all for. So sound the retreat if that's what must happen, or keep your soldiers fighting, but only you get to make this decision, my love; you're our Commander, we will listen to any command you give."

He nodded, tears gathering in his honied eyes. "I wish you weren't here, amongst this carnage; but I'm so grateful that you're with me," he muttered, foreheads finding each other in a show of silent affection. He pulled back, "About earlier - "

"Earlier wasn't the time, now certainly isn't either, my sweet," you laughed with a nod. "You need to go rally the others, I've got Orcs to kill."

"Stay safe," he pleaded, hands squeezing each other as you started to move apart.

"Stay alive," you replied, forced apart several yards, turning slowly when your husband called your name.

"I love you," Elrond reminded, watching your mouth pull in a smirk, opening to reply... Before his eyes widened when he saw the horse too late. It barreled into your back, knocking you into a muddy pit of active fighting to the desperate sounds of him crying your name.

"Commander!" Elrond heard behind him, but couldn't answer. He was viciously fighting towards where you fell; horse galloping away, but your body lost to chaos. "Commander, no! Please!" Erthon caught his middle, yanking Elrond backwards several steps only to shove both hands to his chest. "No! No, hey! You're needed at the front, Commander, they need you at the wall - "

"My wife just - "

"I saw, I know where she fell - I'll look for her, Commander, I swear. Please, you're needed! Go!"

Elrond had no choice but to flee. Erthon searched the field in vain.

"Commander?"

From the last of the group who had snatched you from the battlefield, you hacked the Orc's head from his shoulders with a furrowed lip, discovering Arondir where the fallen enemy once stood. "My friend," you mused casually, transitioning fluidly to use your bow and fire three arrows at distant Orcs before they could rush you. "While it is a joy to see you, I wish it were under better circumstances. Are you injured?"

"No," he sniffled, "are you?"

"Good. No, no, I am well enough. Are you currently under direct command?"

"No, my Lady. What do you need of me?"

"The people of Eregion need out of the city, I know the tunnels to get them to safety in the woods, but first, I need you to cover my way in."

"You can depend on me, Commander."

"I know I can, Aronidr," you smiled, clapping his shoulder. "Thank you, my friend. Find Commander Elrond after this."

Together, you and Arondir searched for the easiest path into the city, using aerial advantages to clear out the Orcs best you could. When your quiver ran dry, you thanked the solider of Mirkwood and scaled into the city under the protection of his watchful eye, skillful aim, and quick hands. Once inside, you crept around paths and alleys thoughtfully to get around any surplus of Orcs, happy to take out any stray few; quiet and calm as you navigated the city.

Checking where you could, it was a hard feat to discover any surviving Elves through the rubble and destruction until closer to the main settlements. When you found a group of few survivors, you encouraged them to follow you to safety and lead them through secret tunnels with dripping black blades. Nearing the end of the tunnel, you paused the group in the shadows to let you step out first; glad for it when a company of Orcs tried to ambush you, only to meet their brutal end. Though out of breath with minor injuries from the band of enemies, you still stood, victorious.

"This way," you directed, limping to lead into the woods. "Here, this way... Up ahead... C'mon, stay together, almost there... Step carefully, stay together... Just up there... This way, here, just up here, good, come, quickly now."

Up a subtle path of a hill, you trekked through wild foliage.

"Who goes there!?" A voice cried out in terror, making you halt the others. After a brief investigation through tree limbs, you discovered a small gathering of other refugees; all quivering in fear, looking at you with the hopes of salvation. "Who are you!?" A young man asked.

"Southern Commander of High King Gil-galad's Army," you named, twirling your twin blades in hand that sent a splatter of black blood to spray on near-by leaves. "Who brought you here?" You ask in return, lungs pinched.

"The Lady Galadriel..."

"Good," you nodded, waving your pack forward. "Stay here, stay hidden, I'm going to go back for others. When I return, we're going to move deeper into the woods to accommodate however many can be saved."

"You're leaving us!?" One of the Elleth's squealed. "But we are undefended, vulnerable! You leave us here for slaughter?"

"I understand your worry," You nodded to the young lass, petting her bicep. "But Lady Galadriel and I have both brought you here because it's safe. Safer than in the city, safer than wondering around - aimless and blind. Where we are is off the known path; on high ground, so it's not to be stumbled upon; and see those slopes?" You pointed to where you wanted them to see, "This wee place is slightly sunken, so it's hidden for your protection. Huh? Yes?"

You waited until she nodded in return to squeeze her arm in encouragement before releasing. There was a collective agreement to listen to you, letting the survivors gather tightly together before rushing back for the mouth of the secret tunnel. You spent over an hour searching for other survivors, gathering as many as you could and giving them cover and moving them out of the city; killing as many Orcs as you could in the process. Again, you moved out of the tunnel, checking for any enemy, finding none, and ushering the group into the woods. When you arrived at the others, you took a couple of the healthier Elves with you on the path further up to a more suitable, larger, still hidden cove for them to seek refuge in. They agreed to lead the others while you went back for more.

You only managed a few other trips before the Orcs fully sacked the torched city. You couldn't go back, even sustaining a stabbed thigh and arrow to your shoulder on your last escape; but while you couldn't save more Elves, you could help the ones you did. So, you ushered them further from the city, hiking into the mountains carefully with consideration to location and position of the enemy. Over ridges and fallen trees, around bends and away from the beaten path, you finally settled in a naturally protective cove to await others while providing medical aid to those who needed it.

Day broke. Durin didn't come. The city burned. Your tears wouldn't fall.

There were no more words. Elrond was past defeated.

Before night fell, he lost sight of his beloved wife just seconds after declaring his love - haunted by the cruelty of her being robbed the opportunity to reciprocate. As the fighting progressed, he had attempted to search the carnage - but war demanded his attention elsewhere. The urge to entirely give up was great, but the desire to punish any and everyone responsible for this pain overrode him; hacking, clawing, fighting into the night. Yet soldiers fell to the left and right, in front of and behind him; older, younger than he, friends, kin, peers, superiors, strangers, comrades alike.

There was an inkling they might've stood a chance when the sun rose, yet hope diminished when his emissary, Vorohil, returned with sustained injury and the message that Durin shut the doors of the mountain. Their forces had been decimated already, a lesser-than match in numbers to begin with, but without Dwarven aid, the surviving Elves were eviscerated mercilessly. No help was coming, and the Orcs were charging across the bloody battlefield for the last of them.

In the fresh light of a new day, Elrond's throat was seized in Adar's vice grip; lifted from his feet; the fight extinguished like a blown-out flame from his soul as blood and mud dripped from swirling armor. Adar's lips quirked, "Your wife put up... Such a fight, Commander," his hand tightened, crushing Elrond's windpipe. "And here you are, surrendering... You would so willingly let her sacrifice... Be in vain?"

Tears leaked from the corners of Elrond's eyes, glaring at Adar silently - though, it wasn't as if he could respond if he tried. Spying Nenya on a chain around Elrond's neck, Adar quickly disposed of him back into the mud, where the half-Elf did not move again until Orcs were taking few prisoners of war. Few, meaning Elrond, the High King, and Mirkwood archer, Arondir; after their Dark Lord Sauron commanded the Elvish leaders be taken alive and the rest be slaughtered.

Before interrogations or bodily harm could be inflicted, the Orcs were caught off guard by a Dwarven invasion rushing into the fallen city; giving the Elves an opportunity to rebel. Elrond watched Gil-galad and Arondir fight in tandem, debating for several moments if he cared enough to join their efforts, thinking all he had left to fight for was gone from these shores. Yet watching the Dwarves stream into the city posed as the kindling to light the fire Elrond needed under his ass to rise to his feet and defend his brethren and self; noticing what he thought to be a familiar Dwarf. Durin had not come, but still sent his forces as promised (but late); Elrond being informed the Prince was "in mourning", further confirming Sauron's dark hand had crept to different corners of the continent.

There was no victory. No celebration. No true relief, not even for survivors - the toll too heavy.

On his knees in the mud, watching Adar advance, mourning his wife and refusing to accept his Dwarven ally had abandoned him, Elrond bowed his head and silently demoted himself. Gil-galad saw this, could recognize the agony of defeat; neither saying a word as he assumed command, like a good king would. Now, Gil-galad ushered his people from the crumbling city just in time for a new wave of Orcs to begin razing it to the ground. Using the same hidden tunnels, the Elves found themselves isolated in the woods. Arondir had to keep personal hold on Elrond, who wanted to return to the city and search for his wife's remains for a proper funeral. He was assured you'd be recovered with the rest of the fallen forces, but it sent him into further distress.

The King and Arondir had witnessed Galadriel's fall from the cliff, being where they first thought to go. It was there Elrond found Nenya, holding it in hand as if weighing the weight of the world; and to him, he was. The Ring twinkled and chimed, begging him to be used; his sad, defeated eyes glancing at his fallen friend, debating what was morally correct. Did he turn and run to find the other half of his very being, a presumed corpse, or did he stay and heal Galadriel, who still, before him, had a fighting chance?

"We're losing her," Arondir worried to the King.

"The darkness is too powerful," Gil-galad worried. "I cannot save her."

"I can," Elrond announced quietly, sure of his decision, but feeling disappointed in himself. His eyes lifted to Gil-galad's, declaring, "We can."

Elrond pushed Nenya definitively onto his finger and knelt to the King's side. They worked together to withdraw Sauron's poison festering black and bubbling in Galadriel's open shoulder wound, Arondir watching with wide, tear-filled eyes in sheer awe. It was a strange sort of process, Elrond never having wielded such a powerful token before; doing his best to focus on the optimal outcome as Gil-galad chanted in both Sindarin and Quenya. Elrond's eyes shut, keeping his emotions at bay; hand trembling in exertion until the King decided enough was done for now and it was up to Galadriel to come back to the light. The half-Elf dropped back to the dirt, deflated and exhausted, looking to the two other Elves.

"What now?" He pondered. "Where do we go from here?"

Gil-galad had no answer, but Arondir's brows furrowed in concentration. "My Lords?" He asked from the other side of Galadriel's unconscious body. When the King and his Herald looked up, the archer nodded, "Is the Ring supposed to do that?"

On Elrond's hand, Nenya seemed to pulse like a beating heart. "My King?" Elrond asked, moving his hand closer, which made the light twitch. He jerked back, the light changing again; confusing the three. "It's... It's communicating, I think," Elrond whispered in wonder.

"Listen to it," the King encouraged softly, watching Elrond closely in fascination.

Slowly, Elrond lifted to his feet, hearing something distant that grew louder by a single degree. "It's twinkling," he narrated, the light steady now that he was stable. "I think it wants us to do something." It took a bit of assessment, but eventually, Elrond was able to decipher, "The light glows brighter when I hold it to this path, I think we're meant to follow."

"To safety, perhaps," Gil-galad agreed. "Arondir, how fairs your health? Are you able to carry Commander Galadriel?"

"Of course, my King."

"And Commander Elrond, you will lead us," the King directed, leaving no room for argument. He paused to help Arondir lift the injured Elleth, Elrond just having enough time to confirm their path before they were following after him.

It felt supernatural: depending on Nenya after leading such a hardcore smear campaign against the piece of jewelry. Yet even Elrond could not deny the drench of light he felt flood through him as he began to understand the Ring's language; now, effortlessly navigating the woods. Over ridges and fallen trees, around bends and away from the beaten path, Elrond pushed the branches from view to discover a protected cove dotted with injured, but surviving Elves of Eregion.

It was incredible, the sheer number of survivors, and few more milled about; obviously in better shape to offer aid and comfort to those not quite as put together.

From meters away, Elrond saw a flash of familiar armor and froze. He heard Gil-galad speak his name, yet could not react or respond as surely, his eyes played some devious trick. He stuttered your name in earnest confusion, wondering if by some stroke of fate, by doing good and choosing to save Galadriel, the Ring of Power then lead them here... To their people... Lead him back to you.

"The Valar are blessed," he told Elrond when he noted you in the slight distance, watching his Herald stumble forward with another call of your name.

This time, you heard him; springing up as if waiting for his return. In reality, you absolutely were.

Tears sprung to even the most stoic of dry Elvish eyes, witnessing such a reunion as one between two spouses after battle after-after a petty marital feud. You hadn't shoved anyone from your path, per se, but you hadn't exactly been polite in getting around them to sprint at full speed across the distance until there was simply no choice but to barrel into your husband's arms. There was just enough time to fit together like dirty puzzle pieces, where your arms magnetized around his neck, his around your waist, before crashing into the dirt.

You both helplessly sobbed, holding onto the other in suffocating fashions; an issue, if you both weren't so overwhelmed with post-war fantasia. Elrond sat up first, yet did not dare relinquish his hold on you for a fraction; maneuvering to fit you on his lap for a mutually easier hold. Your noses nuzzled ears, cheeks, and each other; hands caressing both unblemished and torn, bloodied flesh; hearts beat erratically, but in sync.

Nenya gleamed in approval with steady light.

"You're alive," Elrond gaped, at last finding his ability to speak.

"So are you," you breathed with sorrowful relief. "I was so worried, love, I - "

"You!? My star, y-you - you went down in front of me, I-I-I thought you were dead, injured at the very least. I tried searching; at different intervals, even, I tired searching for you. I sent Erthon after you, too, but you were - you were just gone! I could not find you - how? How did you - How did you escape? How did you survive?"

"My love," you breathed, foreheads kept together by either hand on his cheek, "I will answer you, but remember: we are alive, we are reunited, we are together. I need you to breathe."

"No, no," he refused, tears drowning him, this time lifting his hand to hold your cheek in anchor, "please, my star, do not try to pacify me now, I will have my moment, I am beyond the bounds of relief. I thought you died, my wife, I watched you go down and could not reach you, could not find you. All I managed to think of all night was my Rúmil, how we rode to war in such anger and were separated. We had all this missed time, spent being angry, and losing you on the field, I thought it was forever. Relief does not describe what I feel now, to hold you in my arms. I'm so sorry, my star, please - "

"I forgive you, for everything, anything, and nothing at once. So long as you extend me the same curtesy?"

He sniffled and nodded against you, quieting to just exist together as one. To recharge. To apologize without the words that are sure to come later. To relish in each other's still-warm flesh and understand that in order to vanquish this accursed evil from the land, there could be no more division, only solidarity. Softly, you answered Elrond's inquiries, explaining to him what happened to you; how you had spent the latter half of your fight tunneling survivors from the city, laying in wait when the city was sacked.

"And then, my love," you hushed, "there was-was-was this procession of-of Dwarves! A whole entire legion, all in formation, moving with incredible speed, if I may say myself."

He half-smirked in return, "Durin sent a company to our aid. Though, I wish it came sooner."

"It came not a moment before it was supposed to. Tell me, how is it you found us? Did Erthon find you first? We sent spare soldiers out to scour for survivors, few have straggled in." Elrond shook his head, retracting his arm to display his trembling hand between you. You gasped softly, admiring, "Nenya." Then, realization hit you, looking to Elrond with wide, bewildered eyes, "You used the Ring?"

"To heal Galadriel, then to find you," he nodded, tears returning. "We can argue about it later - "

"There's nothing to argue over, Elrond," you promised, catching his cheek to softly caress his skin with your thumb. "Thank the Valar you found it. Thank you for finding us... For finding me."

"In every lifetime, I would find you," he promised in Sindarin, foreheads naturally falling together again.

"Now," you sniffled, pulling back to survey the group, "our people grow by the minute... We cannot linger, we'll be found. We should move along, away from the city; by nightfall, these hills will be swarming with Orcs. But - " You cut yourself off, staring at Elrond with brows lowered in concern.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Your husband worried, but you only pinched his chin and directed his attention to the side.

"You're cut."

"Oh, uh, it's nothing - "

"No, it's not nothing, it's a cut. It's a cut, Elrond!"

"It's just a scrape."

"It still weeps!"

"There are greater injuries to those around us."

"That may be, but you are of the greatest importance to me, and therefor, should receive - "

"My love - "

"This will scar!"

"Then it scars," now Elrond chuckled patiently at your usual fretting, relieved for the familiar heat of endearment to his veins. "Let me a moment longer to bask in the glory that is my wife, I have missed her gravely," he begged quietly, taking both of your hands in his and bringing you close for a long awaited kiss; still sat in the dirt of the beaten path you would soon trudge to find salvation.

While usually a hopeless romantic, Gil-galad was forced to step forward, "I hate to break apart this moment." He waited until Elrond turned to meet his eyes, "But we need to move on, it's not safe to dwell here. We need refuge."

"We'll push on," you agreed softly, the King agreeing. You waited for Elrond to stand before offering your hands, making him snicker. When you stumbled from your stab wound, Elrond caught you quickly - all traces of humor wiped away.

"What happened?" He demanded, seeing your torn tunic used as gauze around your thigh.

"Got hit on the way out of the city, my love, nothing severe," you promised. "The Orc died - painfully - and I had it looked at already, it's bound for now. It will be cleaned when we can make camp."

"Good, all right," your husband accepted with a sniffle, looking around as the King was rousing his people to stand and begin their trek. "Where do we go from here? Where are we leading these people? Their salvation or doom?"

You were close to shrugging when your eyes caught sight of softly blinding twinkling light, pulling Elrond's hand to display. "I think we follow you, my love," you whispered with a smirk, sounding definitive, "to salvation."

Together, you aided refugees to their feet and down the southern path Nenya seemed to agree with. Eventually, your people streamed from the hillsides on their own, allowing Elrond to seek you out among the traffic and wrap his arm around your waist.

"Let me help you," he insisted when you tried to wriggle away.

"I'm not broken, my love."

"No, just stabbed."

You were ready to argue, but a particularly gusty puff of wind blew the unmistakeable scent of char into your nostrils; the trees clearing on a small, passing overlook to reveal billows of black soot. Plumes of smoke. The source of sprinkling ashes. You did not say anything, no words able to ever fill this mournful space; pausing to stare at the devastation and destruction you had both escaped. You held your husband's hand and leaned gently to his shoulder, mourning one of the greatest losses all of Elvendom would ever know.

With dejection, Elrond rounded from the sight and asked, "What're we to do now, my star? Where do we lead these people? How can we fix this?"

You swallowed thickly and shifted so you stood side-on, squeezing Elrond's hand. "You know, I don't think I've ever told you about when I was a child, after I lost my family... Before we met," you smiled gently, his intrigue piquing, turning to face you, "for a time, I was under the care of an Elf named, Faithor."

"What?" He asked in shock. "You mean, the warrior?"

"Hm," you nodded, "the very same. He was everything you've ever heard of and more, but that's not the point, the point is, when my family first perished, I struggled with acceptance. This made me... A devilish child, I'll admit," you shared a smirk, "but Faithor was patient, dedicated, and pragmatic. He told me that this world is so much bigger than any of us that sometimes, we lose sight of perspective; that the wind is always gonna blow against us, and sometimes, it'll simply be too strong and we just have to accept it. There's no changing the wind. That no matter how hard we fight, how much it hurts, what we wish and want and pine for, how much our hearts yearn," your head shook and voice teetered to a hush, "some things that break, cannot be fixed; what's lost, is lost forever. To put back together that which shatters," you gestured towards Eregion, both heads turning to watch Celebrimbor and Durin's tower topple, "cannot ever be made whole again. Cracks, even in porcelain, will leak, so... In these moments..." One hand held Elrond's, the other lifted to caress his cheek and encourage his attention back to you, "The best any of us can do is try and build something new."

Your husband's lips twitched slightly, offering a soft huff through his nose in appreciation. "C'mere," he mumbled almost inaudibly, tugging you closer while simultaneously stepping into your space. His arms came around you, taking a moment to bask together before he pulled back and nodded, the tears in his eyes never receding. "All right, starlight," he whispered, "let's go try to build something new."

"Together," you agreed, dropping a quick wink before latching back onto his waist and rejoining the thin stream of refugees marching the unknown path. You were stable enough that you and Elrond could walk at a slightly quickened pace alongside your people; encouraging some who lagged behind and assisting those who needed it along the way. Despite his good nature and inability to refuse to help others, Elrond never strayed (far) from your side the entire hike; the separation finally officially concluded - as if it never happened to begin with.

requesting rules and masterlist

TROP masterlist

204 notes · View notes